Matt Gourley Needs A Fan

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Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

Want to talk to Conan?

Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan.

Okay, let's get started.

hey guys hi sid welcome to conan o'brian needs a fan hello thank you so much hey sid how are you hey matt hey david hi

yes

you can leave what the hell was that

you got conan o'brien in the room you got the queen of england in the room and you're talking to the footman what are you doing here's what it is okay this is the inaugural episode of Matt Gorley Needs a Fan.

Oh, nice.

And look at you.

You've got a James Bond poster and a cat back there.

You are

goddamn right.

Wow.

This is great.

Listen, I am very secure in my fame, and I will allow

Matt Gorley to have one fan, and that can be you, Sid, as long as you remain in Budapest and never leave.

I can never meet him?

You can never meet him.

That I will not allow.

You meeting a fan, I won't have it.

No, well,

I'll come to Pasadena and I'll find you.

How about that?

Oh my God.

Sounds like you already know where he lives.

Sounds ominous.

Well, tell us a little bit about yourself.

We already know that you do you listen to this podcast at all, or you only listen to Matt Gorley products.

Well, here's the thing.

First of all, I listen to this podcast religiously.

There you go.

I'm like Trump.

I'm like Trump.

You really need to blow a lot of hot air my way, and then I come around.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

You're like him in a lot of ways.

I'm a lot like him.

It's true.

I bloviate.

I have insane hair.

I spent a lot of time in Florida.

But anyway, so go ahead.

Tell us the story.

You listen to this.

I like how this is starting.

You listen to the Conan O'Brien podcast all the time.

Go ahead.

Yeah, and I re-listen to episodes as well.

I find certain ones that sort of comfort me a lot.

So I'm a big fan of the podcast, but I have to be honest, Conan,

it was your podcast that made me a fan of you.

You mean it was Matt's podcast?

It was...

Oh, wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

This is episode one.

We'll see how it goes.

Yeah, yeah.

But what I'm saying is it was,

you didn't know about me at all, and then you started listening to my podcast.

Well, I knew your name.

I knew your face.

I saw your little walk on cameo and

you saw no reason to pursue after.

Heard your name and I saw your face and I was out.

I love that he knows me from my cameo on the office.

That's fantastic.

Listen, here's my attitude about all of this.

You want to know the fucked-up thing about that?

I thought you were Greg Kilbourne.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's a name I haven't heard in a while.

Oh, yeah.

Listen,

I, Sid, this is good for me.

You're like a loofah for my ego.

You're scrubbing away at it, removing all the dead layers.

So I welcome this.

Yes.

You know, I have too many people on the street saying, I want to do you.

Do me now.

Oh.

We walk around with you.

Have you ever heard?

No, I've never heard of it.

I don't ever heard that.

This is in my my mind.

But I've heard you say that.

I say it.

I say it to myself.

No, but Sid.

He walks around with earbuds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just a recording of me on a loop.

Sid,

I am fine.

I like that you...

Here's my...

Here's how I feel.

I'm kind of like a drug dealer in that as long as I get you on heroin, I don't care how you came to like it.

So if when people say to me, oh, I only knew you from your failed line of designer jeans in 1996, I'm like, I don't care as long as I got you in the door.

But now I feel like I have to apologize because I'm responsible for getting you hooked on this heroin.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, because you were a Gorally fan, right?

You listened to Gorley's podcast.

Which one?

Yeah, okay.

So, Matt,

genuinely.

I am a bit starstruck talking to you.

Oh, you come on.

No, I'm liking this.

No, this is good.

This makes me so uncomfortable.

You're so sweet.

I understand that, but I do have to say it.

But

you and I had a brief interaction on Twitter, actually, back when it was Twitter, a few years ago, where I said that you were more

instrumental in forming my comedic voice than anyone else.

And that's through me listening to the James Bonding podcast.

Oh, my God.

From day one, over and over, actually.

I've re-listened to the entire run, I think maybe six or seven times.

Wow.

And it was when you were talking to Matt Myra about working working with Conan that I was like, oh shit, Gorley's got another podcast.

Let me check the Conan.

Oh, yeah.

He's got another podcast with Ugly Face from the Office Cameo.

I believe

Ugly Face

from the cameo.

Well, I'm going to, Sid, you are.

I honor your love of Goraly.

He's very talented, very funny.

And this is all

a great day in my life occurred when I met this gentleman.

And so, no, no, seriously,

this is all not going to irritate me.

It's not going to irritate me at all.

Yeah, you seem fine.

I'm going to get over this.

Speaking of heroin, I'd like just a little taste right now.

I want to disassociate from my emotions at the moment.

No, but that's great.

I'm glad.

But

we'll go back to Gorley, but I want to find out a little bit about you, okay?

Because part of the whole reason for this podcast, where I talk to people around the world, is to find out what they're up to.

And then we can return to the great Matt Gorley.

Tell us about yourself.

What do you do?

Are you native to Budapest?

Tell us about yourself.

Matt, is it okay if I answer that question?

Yes.

I will allow it, but you've got 20 seconds, and then we get back to me.

Well, okay, so I'm not native to Budapest.

Good pronunciation, by the way, Conan.

That's not right.

You know, I have such an ugly face.

I have a lot of time to get pronunciations right because no one invites me out.

Go ahead.

I don't want it to be on the record that I find you ugly because I don't.

I find you to be a very attractive man.

So let's just get that out.

Yeah, so I'm originally Indian.

I left there when I was very young, when I was eight.

And I was basically raised in Central Eastern Europe.

I lived in Prague for a couple of years.

And for the last 25 years, I've been here in Budapest.

So I'm essentially a local here but I don't present as such obviously do people in Budapest think that you are a tourist often

you know

when I was when I was a teenager they thought I was a member of the Roma population and so they would kind of get a little bit nervous that I was gonna you know

steal something from them or behave in an unsavory way or whatever.

Did you live in America?

Because

are you asking because of the accent?

Yes.

There's an American school here, and that's where I went to school.

Wow.

But I mean, the fact that you do.

So you've been in the United States.

You spent a lot of time here?

No, you went to a

school.

There's like an American international school here in Budapest.

That's where I went to school.

Wow.

That's very impressive that you would.

I mean, honestly, I feel like if I was just...

talking to you on the phone, I'd feel like you were from Rhine, New York.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

it's just, it's incredible that you,

a school can provide that, give you some.

Yeah, did movies and James Bond movies have anything to do with that?

I know they're English, but

well,

the

it's weird.

It was more cartoons, actually, because when I left India, it was a lot of cartoons, but you know, the Bugs Bunnies and the cartoon networks of the world.

But, you know, obviously, I still,

when I speak to my family, I still speak with an Indian accent, so I like code switch.

But that happens.

I go back to Boston.

I haven't lived in Boston since 1981.

But I mean, I haven't, I haven't really been, that's not true, 1985.

But,

but when I drift back to Boston, I find certain things coming out.

I'm much more abrasive,

intolerant.

The builder and you comes in.

Yeah, suddenly,

little short quips and short breaths.

I'm an insane driver suddenly.

So that can happen.

What do you do for a profession?

What is your

bread on my table?

Well, so I'm the head of marketing for a cheese company, which is run by my childhood friend.

So he's the CEO.

It's like a family-run company.

So I'm their head of marketing.

On the side, I also dabble in stand-up.

But yeah,

but obviously that doesn't pay anything.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, it might.

Is there a thriving stand-up scene in Budapest?

You know, it's not bad.

It's pretty good.

But I guess the market for it is kind of limited because you have a couple of filters.

You have,

number one, people who are interested in comedy, which in a former Soviet country is also questionable.

There's people interested in comedy, people who are interested in comedy who speak English.

People interested in comedy who speak English who actually want to go to a basement bar on a weekday.

So there's a few levels.

But, But, you know,

we draw a crowd.

There's a few very talented people that I admire a lot.

And yeah, it's pretty good.

It's an up-and-coming scene.

It's been active for, I guess,

at most maybe 15 years.

Why don't you do me a favor?

Just be a nice thing to give a shout out to some of your favorite comedians that you

see in the Budapest scene.

And your favorite cheese.

Oh, you're good.

We want a pairing of best comic with best cheese.

But seriously, just quickly name a few people so that maybe some of our listeners, someone out there, might hear about this and then we might discover somebody.

Oh, trust me, I'm going to tell them about it.

All right.

So shout out to Sid, your full name, too, so people can come see you.

Yeah, what's your full name?

Hey,

Sid Murti.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

There was no applause to spell, obviously.

Please, please, settle down.

Please.

I'll edit some in.

Yeah.

Thanks, Carly.

All right.

So shout out to Rom, obviously, who's a big Conan fan.

Kitty.

Hey, let's put the light on Ram.

No, we don't have time for that.

What is Ram's full name?

What's Rom's full name?

He would prefer to remain anonymous.

Go far.

He hires a publicist.

All right, here's what we're going to do.

I'd like to be anonymous.

What?

What are you talking about?

What's your name?

That's unimportant.

Can we have a photograph of your face?

No.

They want you in a film.

I won't do it.

I might be seen.

It's actually a little bit relevant relevant because he's an outspoken Iranian.

Not in Iran.

So

if he's seen as talking shit about the government, then he can be called back.

And,

you know,

he disguises when he performs in an unknown comic?

No.

The disguise that he wears is remaining in relative anonymity in a

pretty small comic.

It's so funny.

I asked for a shout-out.

And by the way, we hear from fans in Tehran.

We hear, we have fans in Tehran and a shout out to them because I know they've been going through a difficult time.

And I'm talking about the people of Tehran.

There's a lot of young people out there and some of them are listening to this podcast.

And

I think it's relevant to say that we've been hearing from them.

And it's so funny.

that you're

so this there are people in iran who are listening to this podcast, and

I say, Let's give a big shout-out.

Let's put the spotlight on one of your friends who you think is really talented.

And you mentioned a guy who's in hiding.

And am I right?

So, he can, he has to like fight a certain amount of success.

He can't be too good because if he becomes known, then he's in danger.

So, he has to be like a mediocre comic to stay alive.

Trust me, I'm familiar with this process.

That explains a lot.

There aren't a a lot of people out to get me, but there are some.

That's why I've kept it at kind of

B B minus celebrity status.

It's very comforting to me.

He's been giving the tonight show, but don't worry.

He'll be off very soon.

You know what?

It's been a long enough time that I can really laugh at it.

And no, I can't.

Sid, now I'm coming after you.

Bring it on, then.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

I can't wait to jump out of a mailbox in Budapest and attack you.

It'll just be with like a wet-stuffed animal that I hit you with.

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So the cheese business, you're doing that.

I don't, I'm going to take a wild stab and say, I don't think you take that business very seriously.

I don't think it's your passion.

How can you?

How can you take cheese seriously?

Who does take cheese seriously?

Like, apart from Jordan Schlansky, my father-in-law

and Jordan Schlansky.

Oh, yeah.

They would take cheese very seriously, yes.

But there are people out there.

I'm not saying I approve of them, nor do I approve of my father-in-law.

But

Jake, if you're listening, I'm after you too.

But there are people that take cheese very seriously.

I mean, you can pick any object, and there's someone in the world who takes it very seriously.

So

there are people.

Is it a profitable cheese concern?

Is it doing well?

It is.

It's doing very well.

It's thriving.

We sell a lot of cheese in the Middle East, actually.

So the company is owned by a Lebanese family here in Hungary.

What a melting day this is.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Of course, an Irish guy sweeps up afterwards.

You've got everyone working for you.

Yeah.

And the cheese is good.

You're backing the cheese.

How many kinds of cheese do you make?

Tons.

And we also invent new kinds of cheese as well.

Really?

What's a new kind of cheese?

I thought they were just the cheeses that exist that are always on a plate when you go to a nice party and they put out the cheese course.

And there they are.

There's the blue cheese.

There's the soft cheeses, the breeze.

But there's the cheddar.

But are there really that many kinds of cheese?

There are countless types of cheese.

I mean, like, if an accident happens with like your milk and acid levels, then boom, that's a new type of cheese.

So, like, you just sort of improvise, but um, it's you know, different uh like um consumption methods or whatever.

So, theoretically invent like a Conan cheese, yeah.

Could you make a cheese, or he's gonna want to make it about you?

It's gonna be a Matt Gorlington.

I think cheese is much more appropriate for you.

Okay, that's good.

That's good, yeah.

Um, do you make rods up the ass,

like a stiff rod up the ass?

Because then we could name that after Matt.

New

ass stiff rod.

We call it the gourlie.

But it's signature?

It's signature, man.

I'll take it.

And it's made of a fine ass.

Okay.

All right.

Their quality is superb.

I worked with the designer and I approved this stiff rod up the ass.

It's the best.

You're looking slightly uncomfortable, but also

you're a little pleased.

You're having a low level of erotic high.

Yeah, maybe you could make a Conan cheese and we could maybe profit together from this venture.

Well, okay, good.

Because this is kind of what I do.

So

every year,

so here in Hungary, our most like popular, profitable, whatever you want to call it, type of cheese is halloumi.

which is like a Mediterranean type of cheese, which is really popular in the Middle East as well.

And every year we introduce two new flavored halloumi products.

This year we did a tandoori one and

tomato and basil, kind of basic ones, but we like to go for

more and more,

I guess,

shocking, surprising flavor combinations.

Well, I am shocking and surprising you.

I think you're not sure.

Well,

that's really true.

And

I don't know, I'm getting a lot of like citrus, citrus energy from you.

Oh, yeah.

I'm very acidic.

Uh, I also

have me with any medication, and the medication will be less effective.

Uh, there you go.

And I mean, that's just part of my personality.

When people

orange, orange hair, orange hair, vitamin C, C for Conan.

Yes.

It's very good.

Yeah.

Matt.

And there's a reason you love Matt.

I don't get it yet, but

I'm going to listen to this podcast.

He's got.

Please don't.

Well, I'm going to.

Please do not.

I think an orange-flavored cheese, and maybe we add some other things that are very conan-y.

If it could look like it has some kind of spotting or freckling, that would my arms just riddled with, you know,

that would be maybe like rose petal.

Rose petal or

yeah, some kind of

bacteria.

Just add a little salmonella in there.

Some Lucky Charms.

Could you put some Lucky Charms in there?

Oh, the marshmallows from Lucky Charms.

I mean, we can think.

How about fruit pebbles, right?

That's your go-to?

I like a fruity pebbles.

I wouldn't say it's my go-to.

It is what they're going to find coming out of my mouth when I'm found dead in a hotel room.

You have to have it removed from your house.

Yeah, exactly.

I did.

We had a whole box of it in a crate.

And I said, get this away from me.

And then I accidentally bought you more, and you would have thought I brought him a gun.

Yeah.

Get that away from me.

Depressed guy with a gun.

Well, I think that's a possibility.

Maybe we could get into business together.

Yeah, let's do that.

You can have whatever cut you want because

I'm salaried, so I don't get a cut of anything.

Whoa.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I'd like you to see a little something.

And also, I think, to be fair, we should cut Matt Gorley in as well.

Oh, seriously.

Great.

I'm in.

Okay.

You're the one that

you brought me, Sid.

You were the entryway drug to the much harsher and, of course, much sought after

Conan drug.

So, yeah, I think that Matt should also participate in the profits.

Yeah, okay.

So, we'll do this.

We'll do the Conan cheese, which is with orange and salmonella.

Done.

Very good.

Can't wait for the ads for this.

There'll be no return customers.

A wave of strange salmonella deaths in the cheese-lovings,

experimental cheese-loving community.

All right.

Well, Sid,

you've been terrific.

It's been really nice to get to know you.

You've been really terrific.

Absolutely.

I mean, really terrific.

And

you've reawakened my love of Matt Gorley, which has been dormant for a very long time.

Well, I'm saying it goes back to before I even met you.

It's like Ali's comet once every 80 years or whatever.

Exactly.

But, Sid, very cool to meet you.

And

best of luck to you.

And maybe we'll cross paths someday.

That would be really fun.

Hey, I'd love to have you here in Hungary.

You know what?

It gets a bad rap in the media.

All you hear about is how horrible the government is, which it is.

And

it's relevant that we're recording this now in June, which is Pride Month, where the rights of queer people are being stamped on every day.

But you know what?

There are good, solid people that don't get...

spoken about and they're lumped in with all the uh with all the horrible people and i think that hungary deserves a shot hungry deserves uh your presence in it and I think that you'll find a lot to love over here.

Well, I think that's true of so many countries where the leadership sends you one signal, but there are lots of good people there.

Lots of good people there.

And

that's a good point that you make.

And so, my shout out to Hungary and to all the people there.

And very, I just love getting to talk to people, sensitive, funny, smart, creative people from all over the world who represent what's possible.

So thanks for reaching out to us.

Thank you for doing what you do, Coden.

I think you've added more positivity in the world than you really realize.

Your episode in Haiti, in particular, and in Ghana as well, were very moving for me.

And I think that you shed a light on the goodness of humanity

in

ways that will only become clear in a few decades.

So

your impact is felt.

But I'll still be alive.

Yeah, because the rod up your ass.

You only knew it for that.

You know what saved you?

The rod up your ass.

Your left ventricle collapsed, but the circulation kept moving.

All right.

Hey, Sid, thanks for those kind words.

Yeah.

And maybe we'll see you soon.

Take care, man.

Absolutely.

Hey, would it be all right if I took a picture?

Is that okay?

Let's do it.

So let's just do a screenshot.

Fuck it.

Hey,

thank you guys so much.

Really appreciate this.

I love you.

And say hi to your friend who's a comedian, but not too loudly.

All right, take care.

We're kind of whispering.

Thank you for everything, Matt.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley.

Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Liao.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

Supervising producer, Aaron Blair.

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This is Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast, the promo.

And in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why you should check out the show.

I, the host Scott Auckerman, have a light-hearted conversation with famous celebrities like John Hamm, Allison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Leone, Bob Odin, Kirk, just to name a few.

Things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well.

Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians, as well as some new hilarious voices.

Comedy Bang Bang the Podcast.

Listen every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.