Play It Again, Yassir

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Speaker 4 Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Speaker 5 Want to talk to Conan?

Speaker 2 Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan.

Speaker 4 Okay, let's get started.

Speaker 3 Hi, Yasir. Welcome to Conan O'Brien.
Needs a fan.

Speaker 2 Hey, Yasir, how are you? Oh, hi, man. Hi.
Hi, Conan. I'm fine.
I'm doing good. Yeah, and Sona is excited to be here.
Sona's here, too. Oh, yeah.
Hi, Son.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 1 Yassir,

Speaker 1 where in the world are you right now? Where are you coming to us from?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm calling you from Nantes, France. It's in the southwest of France.
Got it. North-south of France.
Got it.

Speaker 2 But I'm originally from Morocco.

Speaker 1 All right. Now, tell me, where are you from in Morocco?

Speaker 2 From Casablanca.

Speaker 1 Wow, you're from Casablanca?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. I was, well, my parents are from there, but I originally was born in three hours from Casablanca, but I lived there uh most of my life after 18.

Speaker 1 i i just have to ask right away because one of my favorite movies and probably maybe the most iconic movie in uh noir cinema would be casablanca uh

Speaker 2 does does

Speaker 1 when you see the movie casablanca is it at all evocative of the casablanca you know or is it it has nothing to do with casablanca

Speaker 2 i think i i have no idea i've never watched it what

Speaker 2 You've never watched Casablanca?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 I did not watch it.

Speaker 2 I know the movie, but I never watched it.

Speaker 1 It's like an hour and 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 First of all, I'm coming to Casablanca, and I'm going to show you the movie Casablanca, and then I'm going to walk around in a trench coat and a hat, okay?

Speaker 1 And I'm going to make you dress as

Speaker 1 a French officer.

Speaker 2 Okay? That's just what we're doing. That's what we're doing.
That's those references speak to me.

Speaker 1 I don't care if they speak to you or not, Yassir.

Speaker 1 This enrages me.

Speaker 1 I think...

Speaker 2 I don't know what is it about, actually.

Speaker 2 It could be about another city.

Speaker 2 Okay. Well, anyway, spoiler.

Speaker 2 It's not. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's about the Casablanca that's in Morocco and in the title.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 Yassir, so

Speaker 1 tell me a little bit about Casablanca. Do you think I'd fit in okay there?

Speaker 1 Would people accept me in Casablanca?

Speaker 2 Uh, yeah, I think people mostly will accept you in Casablanca, but you would you would definitely you would stand out. I mean, you're tall, I think.

Speaker 2 Uh, I don't know what six feet four in me in centimeters, but I think you could tell you

Speaker 2 average pair of people.

Speaker 1 We're gonna find out for you right now how many centimeters tall I am, thanks to Eduardo, who uh has an app just for this question, which we get all the time: How tall are you in centimeters?

Speaker 1 And he 195, I'm 195 centimeters.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, okay no no no you're taller than than everybody I know so okay

Speaker 2 no you you'd stand out the the hair the we don't have lots of redheads in Casablanca so I think you'd stand out yeah um

Speaker 1 someone said that I talked to uh from um

Speaker 1 who's actually from Marrakesh said I she thinks I look like a camel

Speaker 1 Thanks for having my back on that, Yasir.

Speaker 2 There's a resemblance. I can see it.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 This is great. This is going really well.

Speaker 1 Well, tell me a little bit about yourself, Yasir. What do you do?

Speaker 1 What do you like?

Speaker 1 What's your whole deal, Yasir?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 I'm a project manager for a consultancy. So I work with clients.

Speaker 2 Mostly, I just go talk to people that are more experienced than me and tell them, did you finish the thing that you said you were going to finish? And I just update it on a file. And that's

Speaker 1 this is the plot of Casablanca.

Speaker 2 This is exactly what it's about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's about a data manager, and he keeps asking people: you finished, have you put it on a file? And then at the end, they put it on a file and they all get on a plane and leave.

Speaker 1 It's a very good movie.

Speaker 2 I can't believe you haven't watched it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And the lead character is like a movie.
And it's a noir movie. Yeah.
It's an Excel.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 okay. So, what do you like? You know, what do you do for fun? Do you go to the clubs? Tell me you go to the clubs.

Speaker 2 No, I wish. I wish.
No, I don't go to the clubs.

Speaker 2 I go to the, well, in my free time, I go to the beach because I live next to the beach. So I usually go to the beach.

Speaker 2 I just go for a swim and hang in there, read a couple of books or a couple of books. I read something and then I come back.
Okay. Okay.
Those mostly.

Speaker 1 So you go to the beach, you read a couple of books, and then you come home.

Speaker 1 Are you a social person? Do you have a lot of friends?

Speaker 2 I mean, in general, I do have friends. But in Nantes, where I live now,

Speaker 2 a couple of years, I've been living here a couple of years, so I don't have generally much, a lot of friends. So I usually go to social things alone.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Hey, sounds like you need a friend.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what I'm calling, I think. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, this is really nice.
This is a good connection.

Speaker 4 Will you be his friend? No.

Speaker 2 I'm busy.

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't, until he sees Casablanca, we are not hanging out.

Speaker 1 Yes, of course I'd be your friend. I'd be glad to be your friend.
Do you make friends easily or are you someone who's more shy?

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm easy to talk to, but I'm more shy, so I wouldn't go to talk to people first. Yeah.
Yeah. But I make friends at work.
So a lot of my friends here are my, like, I made them from work. So.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think that's where you meet people.

Speaker 1 I'm still trying to find a friend at work.

Speaker 2 Good luck. Keep looking.

Speaker 2 Move it, buddy.

Speaker 3 Don't look to this side of the table.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sir.

Speaker 2 how could I help you?

Speaker 1 I like to try and help people when I go to other lands.

Speaker 1 How could I help you, Yasir?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I think you can help me figure out this friendship thing. Like,

Speaker 2 how would I approach this?

Speaker 2 Especially if I'm at a concert or I'm like a... in a bar or something, how would I approach it? What if we did a little role play?

Speaker 3 You're just hanging out at a bar. We'll call it Rick's Joint.
Yeah. And you come in and

Speaker 3 you see a nice guy and maybe you'll go strike up a conversation.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So let's try it right now.
We're just going to make up the name of a bar and we're just going to say it's Rick's.

Speaker 1 And let's just say that it's being shot in black and white. And let's just say that you've come in there.

Speaker 1 You have special papers you've been given that you have to hide because you can't be caught with these papers. Okay.

Speaker 2 This is very specific. No,

Speaker 1 I'm just giving generalities.

Speaker 3 There's a piano player named Sam.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. And yeah, exactly.
And there's nice music playing in the background. You must remember this.

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Speaker 2 Fundamental things apply

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Speaker 1 And then you walk in and you're sort of like Peter Lori. You're like, hey, man.
You know, Ren and Stimpy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're sort of, but your name is Yesi.

Speaker 2 And you're like, hey.

Speaker 1 but anyway let's say you come in and you see me and i'm sitting there um i'm you know classic conan shtiff upper lip

Speaker 1 oh my god you're humphrey bogart i didn't say that i said i've just got a shtiff upper lip okay and uh i'm sitting there and on a scotch um that was a big gulp of water you just took yasir i guess this i'm making this too long you just had to hydrate during my setup that's a new low for me you see that gulp he took that was a massive bottle.

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Speaker 2 Okay, Yasir.

Speaker 1 And you're up. Enter and you see Conan.
You try to make friends. Go.

Speaker 2 Oh, hi, Conan. Is this seat taken?

Speaker 1 Of all the joints and all the Oh, come on. He has to come into mine.

Speaker 1 I don't really do a hundred people.

Speaker 1 I'm just realizing that now.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. It always goes to Nixon.

Speaker 2 Who is that? You think I'm a crook? I'm not a crook.

Speaker 2 My mother had a good Republican cloth coat.

Speaker 2 She was a Quaker. A Quaker.

Speaker 2 A Quaker. A Quaper.

Speaker 1 She was a Quaker, but then she saw a doctor and she had a fish.

Speaker 2 What happened?

Speaker 1 And she was a Quaker.

Speaker 2 Yasir.

Speaker 1 Hey, Yasir. I'm Conan.
It's, hey, man, you seem like a nice guy. You seem funny.
You seem nice.

Speaker 1 Maybe we should hang out sometime. What do you like to do? Hey, maybe we'll go see a classic movie.

Speaker 2 You just had to

Speaker 2 see what's taken. You might want to move on to someone else.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Yes, sir. Maybe I came on too strong.
I might have come on too strong. Nice.
I think so. Let's try it again.

Speaker 1 Let's try it again. Let's try it again, and you go.

Speaker 2 You go first.

Speaker 2 Oh, hi, Conan.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know me.

Speaker 1 You're familiar with my work?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, no. This, yeah, the premise is okay.
Yeah, this is just some guy. You're some guy.

Speaker 1 I'm not Conan.

Speaker 3 Let's say you guys are at a McDonald's, okay?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 What's the best menu out here? I don't work here.

Speaker 1 I just got to.

Speaker 2 I just landed for the first time.

Speaker 2 I just landed for the first time. I come to Morocco.

Speaker 1 I go to my favorite McDonald's.

Speaker 1 You're from here, and you ask me what's good.

Speaker 2 What's your path?

Speaker 2 What's your problem, buddy?

Speaker 3 It's not you, Yasu.

Speaker 1 Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 That's again on me. I think, you know what?

Speaker 2 I was jet lagged.

Speaker 2 I was jet lagged. Yeah, mostly.
Why don't you go up to him?

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll go up to you. Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm new here. I just flew in from

Speaker 1 Los Angeles, and I've just arrived in Morocco. This is my first time.

Speaker 1 My name's Conan. What's your name?

Speaker 2 Oh, my name is Yasir. Oh, Yassir.

Speaker 1 Oh, how's it going? Do you like Casablanca?

Speaker 2 I mean, I live here, so yeah. Well, I am.

Speaker 1 Hey, there are people that live in all kinds of cities, you know?

Speaker 1 People that live in Cleveland. Yeah, I don't assume they all love it, you know?

Speaker 1 So you might have opinions. Hey, if you live in Casablanca and you were born here, you must know the movie Casablanca.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 No, I hear it's pretty good. Pretty good.
It's in classic. We haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 Yes, sir. Again,

Speaker 1 I went to Rage. That's always what I do, and I made a mistake.
I apologize. Okay, tell me about the food.
What's your favorite meal in Casablanca?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 my favorite food there is couscous. Okay.

Speaker 2 That's my favorite dish.

Speaker 1 Okay. And what's your go-to meal that you go to?

Speaker 2 Well, my go-to meal is fast food. So I usually go for McDonald's.

Speaker 2 Seriously? You go to McDonald's? That's why you were there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But wait,

Speaker 1 what's your favorite meal at McDonald's?

Speaker 2 A Big Mac. I usually take a Big Mac with fries and a Diet Coke.
Oh, a little healthy flourish at the end.

Speaker 2 Wait, so it's always bellows.

Speaker 1 I love this. I love this.

Speaker 1 I love this life. I love this world where I can talk to someone who's living in Morocco and steeped in that centuries-old culture.
And I ask them,

Speaker 1 what do you love to eat? He's like, I like...

Speaker 3 I love Big Mac, but not the movie Casa Vlog.

Speaker 1 You know, Big Mac. You like a Big Mac.
And what do you get? What's your order? You Big Mac? You said fries. Large fries or small? Fries?

Speaker 2 No, just small potatoes. I don't take the fries.
I take the potatoes. I don't know if you have them.

Speaker 2 What is that? It's like they're fries, and they are fries, like the normal McDonald's fries. And there are potatoes that are like, they're kind of red.

Speaker 2 They're smaller and thicker and red.

Speaker 1 Okay, no, we don't have little

Speaker 2 paprika. Yeah, you

Speaker 2 love McDonald's, right? I love them.

Speaker 3 So, you, as a resident expert, we don't have no, we don't have that, but we don't have that here.

Speaker 4 That must be a

Speaker 2 Moroccan

Speaker 2 huge in Morocco.

Speaker 1 Okay, do they have any special

Speaker 2 do they have anything in Morocco besides the potatoes that oh yeah they have goat cheese what yeah did they have like they have a mega nugget like uh a goat cheese it's uh like a make shaped like a mega nugget oh that sounds good but in the inside it's all goat cheese like breaded and fried goat cheese yes what are those are do they have like make mc you know curdles or mick tattoos yeah do they have funny little names i honestly have no idea

Speaker 2 because they're in french so they're i don't i i don't remember but i i always like goat it's like goat cheese okay okay inside what is it in in French?

Speaker 2 Sorry. Oh, it's a big goat.
All the menus are in French.

Speaker 4 I know, but what's it called in French?

Speaker 2 Fromage du Chevre.

Speaker 4 Oh, see,

Speaker 4 that was good. It was good.

Speaker 2 Sorry, it was wasting our time.

Speaker 3 Mick fromage de Chevre.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 1 and it's just like our McDonald's here.

Speaker 2 Easy on the water, pal. Let him drink.

Speaker 5 What do you mean, easy on the water?

Speaker 2 I forgot he's in North Africa. It's probably

Speaker 2 200 degrees you just said three sentences and you need to complete replace all of your your water to rehydrate uh okay so um okay yeah but those are good especially when you take them hot it's like right

Speaker 2 right after your order you get them they're still hot they're they're it's so it like it melts in your mouth do you have happy meals there

Speaker 2 They do have happy meals. I never had happy meals, but I, yeah.
You're an adult.

Speaker 1 This is a great, you know what? This is a great cultural transfer. Yeah.
You telling us exactly how the McDonald's happy meal compares to our happy meal.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is this is a good way to spend spend our time, I fear.

Speaker 1 But okay, so it sounds like

Speaker 1 you might need my help being a little more assertive with people to break that barrier, talk to people a little more, right? Yeah. How else could I help you? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't think that that's it. I don't think you need that much help.

Speaker 2 I mean, coming from you.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, I also might get you some stuff for your wall.

Speaker 2 Hey, I have things.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 There's a little bracket behind you, and it looks like you have maybe four postcards.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 2 from the U.S., from Boston, because I was there.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. That's nice.
That's nice. Wow.
So you could show me McDonald's and some Boston postcards.

Speaker 2 I can't wait. I can't wait to go to Casablanca.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to travel 55,000 miles

Speaker 1 and see a postcard of Faniel Hall.

Speaker 1 And then wash it all down with a Coke and a Big Mac.

Speaker 2 Some say that's the Moroccan experience. I think so.
I think so.

Speaker 1 Well, Yassir, I like you.

Speaker 1 You seem like a fine gentleman. And I do implore you to watch Casablanca at some point in your life.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just I think I'll do it.

Speaker 1 It may not bear any resemblance to the real Casablanca that you know, but

Speaker 1 you know, come on, you should check it out, don't you think? All right, yeah, I'll give it a I watched all episodes of Boston Legal just because it was Boston, you know.

Speaker 1 I just, I can't believe I just threw that out there. That was such a dumb joke.

Speaker 1 All right, Yasir, I resigned from comedy. It was nice talking to you, and I'm going to come live with you.
And I'm bringing some stuff for your wall.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 2 If we could bottle this energy, I'm happy. I'm happy.
I'm happy. I love this guy.

Speaker 2 I do.

Speaker 1 You're a lot of fun, Yassir. I really do like you.
You've got a good vibe, you know. And I think your resting heart rate is

Speaker 1 three beats a millennia.

Speaker 3 I think you're due for some water, though.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Rehydrate now. Okay, it's been over eight seconds since you took in some water.
All right. Take care, Yasir.

Speaker 2 Bye-bye. Take care, everyone.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 3 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovesian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
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