Claire Danes Returns

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Speaker 2 Hi, my name is Claire Daines.

Speaker 2 And I feel blessed

Speaker 2 about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Speaker 1 Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens.
I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Speaker 1 Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Speaker 3 There's just so much spit on it.

Speaker 1 Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I just started the podcast to stop Sona from jabbering.
You were jabbering a bit.

Speaker 1 Sona Mobsian joining me and Macaroly, did you see what I did there? I started the podcast in order to stop her.

Speaker 1 I saw a slight opening and I jumped in. I'm going to leave in the edit just the last thing she said right before you spoke, which is there's so much spit on it.

Speaker 3 I was saying

Speaker 3 you rest on the microphone a lot. You did that.
I remember you had,

Speaker 2 we shouldn't talk. No,

Speaker 3 it was in the documentary.

Speaker 1 Documentary.

Speaker 3 You had pus on your eye, and then you kept shoving the microphone in your eye. And then I had to like wipe it with a wiping.

Speaker 1 I I'm going back to 2010. Yeah.
I'm preparing to do my tour.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 1 and there's uh, we're having lots of problems getting the show up and going. Yeah.
And at one point, I remembered I wasn't feeling well. I had a postulated eyeball.

Speaker 1 Don't even ask me what was going on. I had some disease that was eradicated in the Middle Ages, but I wasn't feeling well.
And it's the poster for the tour,

Speaker 1 the movie, the documentary,

Speaker 1 Conor Conor O'Brien Can't Stop, is me. I see it every morning because I had that, someone gave me that frame poster and I put it in my basement and I'm always passing it like on the way to watch TV.

Speaker 1 And I,

Speaker 1 it's me leaning my postulating eye on the mic, on the foam cover of the microphone.

Speaker 1 You're holding it. I'm holding it and I'm rubbing, I'm wiping pus onto the microphone.

Speaker 1 And then the director, Robman Flender, got a great shot of you. He inserted it later of you with a little handy wipe.
Yeah. Wiping.

Speaker 1 You had to clean up his pus?

Speaker 3 I had to clean up his eye pus from his microphone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 His eye pus. And to be fair, I did bring this up in your interview for the job.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I said

Speaker 1 I may have a postulating eye and you will need to clean it up. I don't remember that.
Well, you were pretty high.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was pretty high.

Speaker 1 Scored. Scored.
Crushed it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Goals.

Speaker 1 What? I don't know. That doesn't work.

Speaker 3 But you have a thing with resting on whatever microphone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sometimes I don't know what it is, but I find it somehow calming to rest my eyeball on the microphone.
Okay. And Eduardo, you are, of course, the designer of this wonderful studio.

Speaker 1 This is your equipment. You're very finicky about it.
How do you feel when you see me resting my eyeball on this, what I'm sure is a $600,000 microphone.

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with it because we have a bunch of spares. So if you've done it too long, I'll swap it out.
Do you boil them?

Speaker 1 Do you boil them afterwards?

Speaker 1 They can get cleaned, actually, this foam. I hope so.
So once you're done. Because I secrete many secretions

Speaker 1 and they could get on the mic. It just could happen.

Speaker 3 Well, so when people, you're not the only one who uses that microphone. I know.

Speaker 1 And do people spit out the microphone? Tim Danson regularly does a podcast in here, and I've noticed lately he has all these horrible sores around his mouth.

Speaker 1 I think he has what I have now.

Speaker 1 And he probably thought, oh, there's going to be no problem me speaking into this mic. Little does he know that I have some kind of scabies

Speaker 1 from the era of the Salem witch trial. It's coming out my eye, and it's going into Ted Danson.
And the last time I saw him, he had trouble. He was trying to just eat the softest muffin.

Speaker 1 You're killing Ted Danson. I'm killing Ted Danson.
He couldn't get the little soft muffin into his mouth because of the giant cankers

Speaker 1 on his Ted Danson lips.

Speaker 1 The other concern is the earphones. You know, sometimes when you, have you noticed if you've picked up earphones, sometimes they've got a little...
I clean them every pre-session. And I will say this.

Speaker 1 I move. Every time we have a guest, I immediately have to move here.

Speaker 3 And they glisten.

Speaker 1 And sometimes guests' ears glisten.

Speaker 3 They glisten.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 So you're talking about it's it's sweat. They're nervous around Colonel O'Brien.
What's that sweat?

Speaker 3 Or they're oily?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Maybe they're oily.

Speaker 1 Who could have? What guest has been oily? Earwax? I don't know. You know? Who knows?

Speaker 1 Earwax around? Just say. Can I just say, and I can say this because he's a friend.
When Greg Daniels was here, he walked in and he's just so oily. He's just an oily guy.
And

Speaker 1 at first, I thought he was an eel from the deepest part,

Speaker 1 the deepest part of of the ocean, an oily eel.

Speaker 3 The eel was walking into your studio.

Speaker 1 And I said, an eel. And then he said, Conan, it's me, your old writing partner, Greg Daniels.
And I said, I'm sorry. And I remember I recovered very quickly.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
He took off his headphones and they were dripping.

Speaker 1 Dripping. You heard, and someone's going to get back to Greg with this.

Speaker 1 He's an oily, oily man.

Speaker 3 He's such a greasy, oily guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I used to, as his writing partner, I had to blot him every day.

Speaker 1 I had giant human-sized blotting tissues. Anyway, I wanted to throw him under the bus for no reason, but I thought, I can't go after any other guest, but I can go after Greg Daniels.

Speaker 1 So I made him oily

Speaker 1 when he's not oily at all. I know.

Speaker 1 But yeah, well, I think

Speaker 1 we have a terrific show today. I really do.
And I know that because we recorded it before I spoke. This little episode now I'm going to act excited.

Speaker 1 You were in a whole other state on the other side of the country.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're not in this interview.

Speaker 1 You're not in this interview and it's only because the guest requested.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. What? She's an avid fan of the podcast, but she said that she goes to great expense to have you two removed from it.
Oh, man. Yeah, audibly removed.

Speaker 1 No, I was in New York doing some work there and did a podcast or two. And of course, when I'm there,

Speaker 1 there's no way to get you guys out to New York. You have both of you.

Speaker 1 You both have

Speaker 1 families. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but my boys are four. Like, I can use a night or two

Speaker 1 away. The problem is you'd probably insist on flying first, and I'm not paying for that.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 Coach is fantastic. I've heard.
I have your

Speaker 1 coaches, y'all.

Speaker 2 I'll flight coach.

Speaker 1 And then someone showed me a

Speaker 1 sketch recently of Coach. They drew it for me.

Speaker 1 Your only connection with Coach is someone showed you a drawing of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was an illustration.
of what it looked like. What are you talking about? I came up, I was practically born in Coach.
My whole life was coach.

Speaker 1 Only recently have I moved up.

Speaker 1 Now I sit with the pilots.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I have.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Imagine being on a plane where the pilots are sitting next to Conan.

Speaker 1 I would be so afraid for my life. I'm doing bits and then the bits get physical.
And then I hit a button.

Speaker 1 And then suddenly we're in a power dive and I'm just making a bit out of the power dive.

Speaker 3 They have to, what do they do when people are unruly? They tape them to the chair? Yeah. They would do that to you.
They would do that to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. We can do that when you're here.
Yes, you can. Oh, we should tape him for a full episode to the chair.
Oh, wait a minute. I'm still allowed to talk.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, you just get the same amount of jibber-jabber as you always get. Well, we'll tape your chest.
You're not smooth the problem. If you tape the mouth shut, then you've got something.

Speaker 1 Can we tape his mouth? But saying, we'll isolate everything about Conan, but his mouth.

Speaker 1 What does my body ever do? My body is. Your body flails a lot.

Speaker 3 You are a flailer. You are.
You're very animated.

Speaker 1 And you grab and you twist and you noogie and you hit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't hit.

Speaker 1 For HR purposes, I don't hit. I caress with purpose.
For HR purposes, you hit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you do it. And then would you be able to have a whole conversation where you don't whip off your glasses dramatically?

Speaker 1 Can I make that sound? Yeah. When I take my glasses off.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
People love that bitch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to do it.

Speaker 1 I'd do it in my mind. And then I'd make it happen.

Speaker 1 I am,

Speaker 1 there's so much happening in my mind right now. It's a lot of fun.
It would great to do a segment where you're here, but your mouth is taped shut and he's taped to the chair, but we just get to talk.

Speaker 3 But we just talk?

Speaker 1 And we can say whatever we want and he has to hear it.

Speaker 3 But then it would just sound like just the two of us talking on the, when people listen to it.

Speaker 1 But we could do things to infuriate him and the listener would know that he was there and can't speak up. He can't defend himself.
Okay, I'm down. It'd be fun.

Speaker 1 The worst thing you could do is compliment me. I know.
I know.

Speaker 1 Say something nice about me. And I'm not able to deflect.
But you couldn't do that, could you, girlie?

Speaker 1 I couldn't. All right.
And I wouldn't. What's that? I couldn't, and I wouldn't.
You wouldn't.

Speaker 1 It would be irresponsible. It would be wrong.
What are you doing over there? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 What are you pretending? Finger guns. Why are you doing finger guns? I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know. We were wrapping up, and I was like,

Speaker 3 and then I had a mouth full of water. Why did you have to draw attention to the sky?

Speaker 1 I just want people to know

Speaker 1 with the pilots either. No, you can't stay with the pilots.

Speaker 1 You can't be on the plane.

Speaker 1 My guest today today is an Emmy award-winning actress who starred in the hit HBO series Homeland and the Hulu series Fleischman is in Trouble.

Speaker 1 Now you can see her in the Netflix limited series, The Beast in Me. Thrilled she's here today.

Speaker 1 Claire Danes, welcome.

Speaker 1 You're such a breath of fresh air. I love seeing you every time you drop in.

Speaker 1 And you were a great friend to me on the old late night show. Yeah.
Back in the glorious late 90s. Oh, yeah.
When I think you were

Speaker 1 three years old. You came on your first appearance.
You cried the whole time. I did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it is funny. I have this interesting relationship with people who were coming on as...
kids or just very, very young adults in that time.

Speaker 1 You know, and these clips come up every now and then and I'll think, oh, my voice was like eight octaves higher. And mine was 10 octaves higher.
I'm like, like, hi, Claire. How are you?

Speaker 1 It's good to see you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I went through puberty, I think, in Obama's second administration, as I love to say.

Speaker 1 But it was just, it's always so nice. And then I see you now and it's like family, kids,

Speaker 1 you're kicking ass in your career, which gives me a lot of joy. Thanks.
All good. Yeah, all a lot.

Speaker 1 It's funny. You have a thing you do a little bit, which is like, yeah, which is you're allowing for the possibility of disaster at any moment.

Speaker 2 That's accurate.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's like that I sense.

Speaker 2 That is a very fair description of how I am perceiving my life. Yeah, no, it's good.
It's very rich and on the verge of overflowing with life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have three kids,

Speaker 2 12, 7, and 2. The last one was a real shocker.
I was so pregnant with... her when I last spoke to you.

Speaker 1 That's right. Here.
That's right.

Speaker 2 Deeply pregnant and a little sick. I'm still sick, but because i have three kids but no longer with children i couldn't tell if the sickness was pregnancy related or it's just

Speaker 2 my personality

Speaker 1 yes and and that it didn't help um a little like the tylenol apparently but um

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 2 uh yeah so no it's good it's wonderful it's just i'm you know kind of eking it out, it feels like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is sort of like. This is what I remembered when I have two kids.
And when they were three and one, I remembered, and I, this is a, I feel guilty saying this.

Speaker 1 I love them, but I was so happy to, oh, I've got to go to work. And I would pretend,

Speaker 1 I have to, well, I wish I just wish I could be here. And my wife saw through it all.
She was like, uh-huh. Yeah, really.
Yeah. But I have to go to work and talk to Claire Danes.

Speaker 1 It's like working in the mines. You try talking to her.
She's a nightmare. Yeah.
And so, and she'd be like, uh-huh, really? Okay. Well, good luck with that.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. It's so much harder staying put, staying home and just, you know, making waffles for your children.
You will get it wrong. You will fail every time.

Speaker 1 You will fail.

Speaker 2 Even if you just put it in a toaster, it's not the right maple syrup. It's not enough maple syrup.
It's too much maple syrup. And the response is not commensurate with the eye.

Speaker 1 The effort. The effort that you put into it.

Speaker 2 Or the failure, whatever it is. It's just, it's always at such a high pitch.
Literally, it's just a lot of hyperbole.

Speaker 1 It's a lot.

Speaker 2 It's a lot.

Speaker 2 They're very expressive and they're beautiful. And I love them.
And

Speaker 2 I too am very excited about it.

Speaker 1 You gritted your teeth as you said, I love them. I love them.

Speaker 1 So much.

Speaker 1 It is,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 again, this is kid talk, but I remember my son being so particular

Speaker 1 that he would call it a bit. If there was a bit, meaning like a little tiny grain of something anywhere,

Speaker 1 he wouldn't eat it. And I just thought, who's this little Lord Fauntleroy who won't have a bit?

Speaker 1 Of course, then remembered me being one of six. Sure.
And trying to declare to my parents, I will not eat this. Yes.
That didn't go over too well in my house. I'm sure that's true.

Speaker 2 One of six, one of six.

Speaker 1 I was one of six. We were born three months apart.
Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Yes. Well,

Speaker 1 which I'm told is never, is not medically possible, but it's what happened.

Speaker 2 My mom was one of five. Like she was four and a half when everybody else was born three months apart in very, very quick succession and was the kind of default, you know,

Speaker 2 nanny, sort of. And I absorbed that through her.

Speaker 1 You absorbed it all. Yeah.
And, you know, I don't know if you've ever done this with your kids, but it doesn't work when you try to declare to them, you know, I'm a big deal in my world.

Speaker 1 You need to understand something.

Speaker 1 This waffle may not be perfect, but I'm Claire Danes.

Speaker 1 You give a whole speech about that.

Speaker 2 Rowan was asking me today on the way to school. He said, Mama, what is the least favorite part of your job?

Speaker 2 And I said, huh.

Speaker 1 I said, maybe

Speaker 2 rejection. There's just a lot of rejection.
And the heels, the high heels that I have to occasionally wear.

Speaker 2 Anyway, but no,

Speaker 1 first of all, heels. I've worn them.

Speaker 1 It's killer.

Speaker 1 I went to this premiere last night, and my wife came with me, and she was wearing very high heels.

Speaker 1 And the first thing that happened when we stepped out of the car and people were taking pictures was her heels went right through a grate, and one of her shoes came off.

Speaker 1 And we just both started laughing because her white skirt flew. Yeah, exactly.
But we're just not built for any occasion that a normal show business person has to do all the time.

Speaker 1 I'm not one of those people. She's not one of those people.
She looked absolutely beautiful, but we step out, foot right into a grate, shoe stuck to the grate.

Speaker 1 I think there are welders right now trying to free it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's just the world we're in. It's true.
It's interesting. You talk about rejection.

Speaker 1 You almost didn't make it, you know, here, because it's a very high bar to get onto this podcast. Well, thank you.
And I had to look, I was up all night looking at tape.

Speaker 1 And I finally cleared you. Yeah, well, okay.

Speaker 2 And that feels

Speaker 2 divine. Yeah.
Because I am blessed.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 yeah, no, it's true. It's just an integral part of it.

Speaker 2 And you'll always get reviewed. And if it's a good review, you're screwed.
And if it's a bad review, you're screwed. There's just no winning when you're.

Speaker 1 Also, you have to make that decision. If you're going to not validate the bad reviews, you have to make a decision.
Yeah. Then you're not allowed to.

Speaker 2 I am pretty good about not reading it, but it just seeps through like by osmosis. I mean, you can't really safeguard yourself.

Speaker 1 There's no.

Speaker 1 I used to have, my mother would, I wouldn't read anything. I just don't.
And then you hear, if there's some really good stuff, people will tell you. And I'll say, oh, really? Well, that's

Speaker 1 nice. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 1 my mom, who meant well, but she would say things like, I'd say, oh, this latest thing I did, people seem to really like it.

Speaker 1 And she'll say, yeah, I don't know what's wrong with that writer at the Boston Herald Tribune Dispatch. And I'll say, is that even a paper? Well,

Speaker 1 it's a supermarket circular. And I'd say, oh, but I don't think you have beady eyes and lifeless lips.

Speaker 1 And it would all be under the guise of defending me. Yeah.
I don't think you're completely devoid of talent and a cancer on humanity. And I.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Well, okay. And then years later, it'd be like five years later, well, mom, they just gave me the Nobel Peace Prize.
Well, I'm still angry at that writer. You know what his name was? Brian McElhaney.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I know where he lives. And but it was her way of exercising it.
But yes, you hear about the good, you hear about the bad. You can't hide from it.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I am very, very, I don't know, very happy for you. This new project, I have to be full disclosure, which I love, and I have a little bit of a weird history with.
A lot of it. Which is

Speaker 2 The Beast in Me wouldn't exist if it weren't for you.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know about that. It's such a good script.
And David Kissinger, who was a longtime associate of mine and just a brilliant guy, he said, I found found this script.

Speaker 1 This script came my way and you have to read it. And I read it and it's that classic thing.
It was just a page turner.

Speaker 1 We did our best to shop it around. And this was a bunch of years ago.
It was a slow burn. It was very slow burn.
It was very, very hard to birth, but we did it. Yeah.
And then,

Speaker 1 so I am, you know, I was some part of the story quite a while ago, and I'm very upfront about this is a terrific project. And Howard Gordon

Speaker 1 took the helm and so many people have come in and done an amazing job and I take no credit for any of that.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm happy I was involved early on, but I'm just thrilled and I don't think you're fairly representing yourself, but okay. All I wanted was a walker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, nice.

Speaker 1 That never worked out. Yeah.
I always shoot the camera and look right into lens and wink.

Speaker 1 And I give the thumbs up and I'm like, Conan here. And you guys are like, cut.

Speaker 1 You're just the butler. Shut up.
But how did this come to you? Because I remember it was quite a while ago. Yeah.
But you

Speaker 1 are very hard to, it's hard to get Claire Danes because you are a busy person.

Speaker 2 Sure. Even though rejection was the first thing that came to my mind when my son asked me that question.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we were deep, deep in COVID times. So we were all in our, you know, respective bubbles.

Speaker 2 And Jodi Foster reached out to me because she was going to direct it at

Speaker 2 one point.

Speaker 2 And she and I have known each other for a long time now.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I read it and similar to you, just it, you know, it was immediately clear that

Speaker 2 this was a

Speaker 2 great conceit and

Speaker 2 a really vivid character.

Speaker 2 And I loved the kind of Hitchcockian feeling of it. And, but, you know, it's in

Speaker 2 a contemporary time, but it's all, it's felt very classic.

Speaker 2 I really wanted to know what happened next.

Speaker 2 And so did everybody

Speaker 2 involved in making it. It took us a long time to figure that out.

Speaker 2 And it went through a few different iterations.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 it was tricky defining the,

Speaker 2 let's call him the antagonist, that other lead character that Matthew ended up playing.

Speaker 2 It cycled through a lot of different names. One of them was Cyrus, which is my eldest son's name.
And I said, time out. No.

Speaker 1 I can't be having a tortured relationship with Cyrus.

Speaker 2 That's going to be tricky for me.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 anyway, ended up being Nile. Anyway, I think it really works.
Thank God.

Speaker 1 You never know. You don't ever know.

Speaker 2 Not even when you're making it. Maybe especially when you're making it, when you're in the, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, that piece that was missing was who is this guy standing opposite you? And then one day, David Kissinger called me and he said, We're thinking about

Speaker 2 that's a good Kissinger. Yeah, David Kissinger.

Speaker 1 He's like, We're thinking about, you know, and it was kind of like, What's your take on Matthew Reese? And I said,

Speaker 1 Only one of the most charming,

Speaker 1 amazing people I've ever met

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 a major man crush of mine.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not that my yay. He's very crushy, isn't he? Yeah,

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, he's kind of stupid, impressive, and charismatic. It's like an awful lot of people.

Speaker 1 It's so funny, too, how it seems to be a prerequisite that

Speaker 1 actors who are very charismatic and kind and affable can play sinister so well.

Speaker 1 And I think there's something I've noticed that in sketches or any time that I've done some version of acting, I really enjoy being an asshole.

Speaker 1 And it's not because I'm not, it's that it's so contrary to the face that I've put out there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've never played like an overt baddie. And to be fair, Niall isn't, there's, it's not supposed to be overt.

Speaker 1 Matthew does not play it that way.

Speaker 2 And that's really was another reason why this appealed to me because I thought their dynamic was so surprising and unusual and fun because they're kind of in love with each other and

Speaker 2 they're antagonists.

Speaker 1 That happens a lot in love. I guess so.
Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 You brought up this thing you never know. And that's another thing that it's a theme that really fascinates me:

Speaker 1 you can get all these great,

Speaker 1 amazing,

Speaker 1 there's no way we can lose people together. And I remembered early on in this project, one of the first meetings that we took, I took was Jodi Foster came in.

Speaker 1 And we had this meeting with her, and she's this iconic, incredible actor and director. And

Speaker 1 meeting's over. And I said, that's one of the smartest people I've ever had.
I mean, I just was so impressed with her. She's impressive.
And

Speaker 1 you get all these people together, chemistry. And there's something about something magical happens.

Speaker 1 And I've found it so many times in my career: if I point to the things that have gone well, I couldn't have told you beforehand. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's some kind of

Speaker 1 little spark that happens that nobody can control.

Speaker 1 You do the best you can, but it's like the weather. You just don't know.
Yeah. I mean, you try,

Speaker 2 you do what you can, and that gives you a better chance of, you know, finding that elusive, you know, mystical, magical thing that we all are aiming for.

Speaker 1 But, but, yeah, well, I, I'm just thrilled for all of you guys. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Go us. Yeah, I just wish I had a piece of the merch.
Go.

Speaker 1 Beast in me, action figures.

Speaker 1 I'm always looking for the merch. I have to ask you a question about, I was absolutely a fanatic for Homeland

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 loved it. And found out only later on that you got to regularly meet with

Speaker 1 people who did special ops, people who did basically. Spycraft.
Yes. And I thought, oh my God, I would do any project where I get to talk to those people.

Speaker 2 It was amazing. It was maybe a couple seasons in.
One of the writers of the show, Henry Brumel, who actually passed away way too early, he was crazy gifted. But his dad was in the CIA.
And

Speaker 2 so his,

Speaker 2 I guess, his uncle also, you know, anyway, this man who was very closely connected to him was in the CIA and at a very senior position, just retired.

Speaker 2 And so this became his project where he would assemble what we ended up calling Spy Camp every year. And there was a club for spooks

Speaker 2 in DC. And we would meet there for about five days just as the writers were starting to

Speaker 2 think about what the season might be. And we interviewed a pretty wide range of people within that universe,

Speaker 2 people from within the CIA and also ambassadors and senators and journalists. And we

Speaker 2 Skyped with Snowden when that wasn't such a kind of common thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, exactly. He started doing that.
Before he had his own serious XM channel.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, and we would get these forecasts. And it was

Speaker 2 dizzying. We were so drained by the end of every day because it would start at nine and it just didn't stop.

Speaker 2 There was this revolving door of, you know, fascinating people who were telling you horrifying things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's almost like you don't want to know how the kitchen works. I mean, there are times where

Speaker 1 I've little moments where I've been brought face to face with the fact that everyone's doing their job the best that they can, but we're human beings and it's an insane world out there.

Speaker 1 And if you are aware, I think it's one of the problems today is that we're all hyper-aware all the time because of 24-7 news.

Speaker 1 We're all hyper-aware of every single possibility for danger all the time. And I think that's not meant to be.

Speaker 1 Just to live your day and get up and make the waffles for the kids. And then say, yeah, exactly.
Whatever. And I think I'll go get some, I need to get some shoes.
Oh, I also need a Bluetooth speaker.

Speaker 1 You need to exist on that level. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But for you to be made aware by these specialists of every single insane thing that's happening all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they, you know, they would contradict each other. They, you know, that was, it was, it was fascinating.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I, there was something kind of consoling about it too, because I could see that they were all very invested at the very least. Everybody cared a lot.

Speaker 2 They didn't all agree with each other. But, you know, that was a, that was a long time ago.
I have no idea what that environment is like now.

Speaker 2 I really can only imagine. But I just may have wiped your mind.

Speaker 1 They may have.

Speaker 1 They may have.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But no, I mean, actually, just doing that show was

Speaker 2 an amazing way to metabolize what was happening politically, you know, to be able to kind of reflect on it and make something of it, to comment on it like that was

Speaker 2 helped me. It helped me feel a little more active, you know.

Speaker 2 And now I'm just, you know,

Speaker 2 I'm in the much more passive position of just, you know, absorbing it and gawking and worrying.

Speaker 2 And, you know, so I miss that.

Speaker 1 I've had a few moments that I'm sure you have too.

Speaker 1 I think you went to a White House correspondence dinner when Obama was president and you have these moments of meeting these people and then you see the people around them.

Speaker 1 I was at some event years ago and I believe President Obama was there. And then I went back to use the bathroom at one point.
I think I was emceeing something.

Speaker 1 I went back and I see some military guys and there's like the nuclear football and you're thinking,

Speaker 1 they just seem like people and they probably are. Yeah.
And it's more than I want to know. I want to think, do you know what I mean? That there's like a golden palace somewhere.

Speaker 1 Right, right. No.

Speaker 1 And look, I'm sure I don't even know what I saw, but it's just a feeling of

Speaker 1 When you get around power like that, when you get behind the scenes, it's why I'm not a conspiracy theorist.

Speaker 1 Whenever I've had a chance to peek behind the curtain just a little bit, what I see is people like me doing the best they can. Right, right.
And that's why I, I don't know, I don't think that it's,

Speaker 1 I don't think there are just masterminds. If there are masterminds, they're probably working at a tech company.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They're not working.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, there is something kind of unsettling about that for sure. You sort of are like, oh, you look down and there's no net.
But yeah, I don't know. That was, that was a, that was a wild ride.

Speaker 1 And how many seasons was it all told? I'm trying to figure out eight. Eight seasons.
And we filmed and draining too, I would think. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But it was, I never worked on anything for that long.

Speaker 2 Um, and there was something really wonderful about being part of a company

Speaker 2 and,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 2 having earning that history. And you, you, you then develop a kind of fluency

Speaker 2 that is so helpful. Like it was, we were so efficient, you know, we could

Speaker 2 and it was so intimate.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 yeah, and I just loved that feeling of like efficacy.

Speaker 2 And we would parachute, I mean, when we filmed all over the place, the first three seasons were primarily in Charlotte, North Carolina, which was standing in for DC, but they were like a month in Tel Aviv.

Speaker 2 But then it became this international show and we shot a season in Cape Cape Town, which was, again, standing in for a very different place, but you know, Afghanistan.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say Cleveland. Sure.

Speaker 1 We couldn't shoot in Cleveland, so we went to Cape Town, South Africa for Cleveland. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then we shot a season in Morocco. We shot a season in Berlin.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 a couple months in Budapest.

Speaker 2 My son, Cyrus, went to school in all these places. Like, he still can't eat couscous because he ate it every day at his school.

Speaker 1 What a great experience for a kid, though, because through osmosis, he's getting a taste of all these cultures at a really good early age. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he, you know, he doesn't really share that with his siblings. Cyrus, I mean, Rowan was, I was also pregnant with Rowan shooting the show, but he was little.

Speaker 2 He was, you know, he was like a baby by the end of it. So

Speaker 2 wasn't like, I mean, Cyrus was raised on that set too. And Leslie Linkett, Gladder, our producing director, primary director, she would literally like cradle him.

Speaker 2 And, you know, and then eventually, while she was directing, and then eventually he would call action and cut. And yeah, I remember when he was a toddler, he was like three.

Speaker 1 He'd get really mad at me.

Speaker 2 He would say, Back to one, mommy.

Speaker 1 Back to, they shouldn't even know that. I know.
It's like, what? Back to one.

Speaker 2 Back to it. So

Speaker 2 on the set,

Speaker 2 you're back to your first positions at the end of the take.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so it's funny because my daughter, I remember when she was maybe three,

Speaker 1 she's really small, and she said something like,

Speaker 1 I was in the kitchen and she said, yeah, I asked for orange juice and then cut to you

Speaker 1 not getting the orange juice. And I was like, cut to, because I spoke that way all the time after just years of being in comedy.
And

Speaker 1 yeah, I thought, oh my God, a three-year-old is saying, cut to.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I think that's how I told her bedtime stories. And then cut to evil monster.

Speaker 1 At least try to frighten her to go to sleep.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I just they just pick up the lingo. They're around.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and he would be on a playground and he would kind of teeter up to another kid and say, my name is Cyrus.

Speaker 2 I speak English because it wasn't a given that, you know, the other person necessarily would. And I thought, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 2 Like, he understands that the world is big and it holds many different kinds of people within it.

Speaker 1 And probably also he's very fluent in, you know, his percentages.

Speaker 1 What do I get from this?

Speaker 1 Do I, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes, there's a lot of that generally.

Speaker 1 What do I get from this? What do I get? Yeah. Then my kids are very interested.
My son, very interested in what do I get out of this?

Speaker 2 There's a lot of

Speaker 1 fairness. You get nothing and you don't like it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's so funny because you got started so young. I mean, to me, seemingly had success right away.
I'm sure that's not how it would feel to you, but you had the success right away.

Speaker 1 And then you did something that I always think is a great decision:

Speaker 1 you decided, well, I got to go to school. Yeah.
You know, I mean, I didn't stay there. I didn't graduate, but I sure did go.
If you didn't graduate, you have to leave right now.

Speaker 1 We only take college graduates here.

Speaker 1 You did two years ago.

Speaker 2 I did two years.

Speaker 2 I was very present while I was there. I really did apply myself for those during those two years.

Speaker 1 You did Romeo and Juliet, I think, in 96.

Speaker 2 Is that right? Yeah, I was 16 when I did that.

Speaker 1 And then you did that and then you went to school? Or was it after? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes. I went to,

Speaker 2 gosh, I don't, I don't even remember, but I took, I deferred a year. I did a movie.
I made a movie called Broke Down Palace. And I just also just like had a minute

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 went. And that first year was just

Speaker 2 amazing. I was so happy.

Speaker 2 I mean, I was totally overwhelmed and out of my depths, but I was just so thirsty. And boy, was I, did I find water.

Speaker 1 Thirsty for.

Speaker 2 I think, you know, I didn't really go to high school. I was tutored on set.
And so I really had a deficit.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, it was. So you want a community of people your age.

Speaker 2 I was lonely. I didn't realize how lonely I was.
So,

Speaker 2 but yeah, but it turns out like all those, it was unorthodox, but I, those extracurriculars of like working on those sets kind of amounted to something.

Speaker 2 So I was, you know, that was a choppy initial month.

Speaker 2 But once I sort of got my bearings and figured out basically how to write an essay, I realized, oh, that's, I, I can kind of do this. And it was just, it was just a blast.

Speaker 2 I mean, again, it was exhausting.

Speaker 1 And I, yeah.

Speaker 2 But, but, but, but wonderful. And it was so nice to just think like for the sake of it, you know, um, and be making friends who I wasn't, I don't know,

Speaker 2 working with formally, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that's a connection that you can have the rest of your life.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I, you know, all those cliches turned out to be true.
I still some of my dearest friends.

Speaker 2 And actually, there's a woman named Sarah Tream, whom I'm a writer, who was in my same year. I didn't really know her during that time, but she's become a really, really close friend.
So

Speaker 2 she kind of insisted that I go to the, I don't know which anniversary it was, or um, or they didn't call them that do they reunion.

Speaker 1 Reunion.

Speaker 2 And I felt like not at all entitled because I didn't have my, you know, my stamp and my certificate.

Speaker 2 But it was great. It was so great to go.
And, and actually, Hugh and I took the kids. We kind of went on a staycation to New Haven at the end of our Christmas break this year.

Speaker 2 We were feeling a little restless and we really wanted Peppy's pizza. So we went and stayed at

Speaker 2 the nicest hotel in New Haven, which is, you know, just fine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But, and we didn't even go to like see campus, but you know, of course, we, we were there. So we kind of stumbled on, you know, into it.

Speaker 1 And oh, I was very moved by it. It was so beautiful.
And I thought, what the hell did I, what was I complaining about here with my three kids?

Speaker 2 Like, I got to sit in these

Speaker 2 unbelievably gorgeous spaces and read.

Speaker 1 You know, I, people that are lucky enough to go to college, and not everyone is lucky enough to go to college, obviously.

Speaker 1 But if you're fortunate enough to go, I say that's just keep in mind, this is a small period of your life where you get to be, you're not with your parents, you're with these, you know, other people your age, and your job is to think thoughts and read books.

Speaker 1 And it's really magical. And then, of course, all I can think about when I was there was, you know, in college was, I got to get out of here and get going on my career.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And okay, what's the hurry? Yeah. But that's how it is.

Speaker 2 I, I mean,

Speaker 2 that is why I left because it,

Speaker 2 you know, in aggregate, it had been about three years since I had done any acting.

Speaker 2 And when I went to college, I mean, I really was giving, I was wondering in a genuine way if that was what I wanted to commit the rest of my adult life to. Yeah.
And it turned out, sure, yes, in fact.

Speaker 2 And it's actually interesting.

Speaker 2 The couple years just following my time at college were a little were a little hard because I had to kind of, my academic self had become very developed and I

Speaker 2 forgot that a lot of acting is just an intuitive like visceral experience and an exercise. And I had to just,

Speaker 2 you know, be a raw nerve and not do so much thinking.

Speaker 2 But when I'm, I'm, you know, choosing a role or, you know, when I'm trying to make sense of the story

Speaker 2 in it formally, boy, did those, that time in that institution,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 2 it really comes in handy at those points. And there's plenty of that.
But

Speaker 2 so, but yeah, I had to kind of compartmentalize.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I thought I could do a movie a summer and like I forgot how much work goes into getting work and I was not able to read a script when I was really immersed in college.

Speaker 1 And it's not realistic, I don't think, to say, what did you do with your summer?

Speaker 1 I helped out at a camp

Speaker 1 and I was in charge of the canoes. What did you do? I shot a movie in Budapest.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's hard. It's hard to.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, if it had worked out, I mean, I was actually going to do something with Jodi and a film with Jodi, and it fell apart. I mean, it just things, it's,

Speaker 2 there's nothing predictable about our job. And you can't say I'm starting on July 1st and ending August 17th.
It, yeah, it didn't work that way for me.

Speaker 1 Well, I want to make sure I hit this because The Beast in Me is out now. And

Speaker 1 it is

Speaker 1 this project that I first saw a bunch, number of years ago, and it just gobsmacked me. It's really terrific.

Speaker 1 And then the fact that now it's you and Matthew Reese and Howard Gordon, and it's just this incredible team. And

Speaker 1 I'm happy for people to see this. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 I'm so glad we finally get to share it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, that's fun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I hope they enjoy it. I really do.

Speaker 1 I believe they will.

Speaker 1 I believe they will. And I think I know.
I don't think anyone knows more about show business than I do. I'm going to take

Speaker 1 a second here and say. I think your daughter does.

Speaker 1 Got two. That's true.
That's true.

Speaker 1 At two, she knew the language better than I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 1 You're obviously

Speaker 1 such a talented performer, but you're a really good person. And I love talking to you and very happy for you.
Thank you, man. And so, all good things.
Thanks. And I'm coming to your house for waffles.

Speaker 1 Great. Are they good waffles? No.

Speaker 1 Do you think you could up your waffle game a little bit? I know I could.

Speaker 1 Let's get on that. Well, thanks for being here so much.
Thank you for having me. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Uncrustables are the best part of the sandwich. I mean, we've been thinking that.
Why does hell say it, right, Sona?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like, who needs a crust?

Speaker 1 You've been saying that since the day I met you 15 years ago, Sona. You said, who needs the crust? And I said, first of all, my name's Conan.
You know,

Speaker 1 anyway, it's the perfect grab and go for all of life's. moments with unbeatable soft bread and a variety of flavors like, well, peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and strawberry jam.

Speaker 1 Hello, peanut butter and raspberry spread, and so much more. No mess, no prep, just thaw and eat.

Speaker 1 Yep, get them in the freezer aisle today.

Speaker 1 Macy's has a new parade this year, a parade of deals.

Speaker 1 So if you're standing on the street waiting for that parade to go by, because you took this literally, you're going to be wasting your time.

Speaker 1 wake up kids it's a parade where is it a parade of deals what

Speaker 1 kid crying every day from now through november 27th macy's is featuring a new must-have deal that will last only one day we're talking about daily deals on things you'll love like a super cozy ug fluff throw hey try and say that even if you say it slowly you'll probably mess it up ug fluff throw an upgraded dyson vacuum that's nice and some of your favorite fragrances hair products jewelry too oh and don't forget black friday deals start November 10th.

Speaker 1 So remember, this isn't a real parade. It's a parade of deals.
I was fooled. Don't bring a balloon and get all excited.
Your daily thrill starts now. Shop now at Macy's.com or in store.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't want to go home. Oh, me? Yeah.
Well, I don't mind going home.

Speaker 3 I already watched the summer I turned pretty today, so. I'm all caught up in case anyone's wondering.

Speaker 1 Team Conrad.

Speaker 3 For reals, bro.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I heard someone say that.
i've never seen it i don't want to talk

Speaker 3 man i was so excited i can only talk to two other people about it i hope you're talking about character actor conrad janice

Speaker 1 a different way and you couldn't do it is conrad janice the dad on mork and mindy yep that's right yeah you guys it's really

Speaker 1 hard to do this with you too sometimes it's really hard sometimes hackiest opening ever of a tv show i'm trying to remember because the song is like you guys are dingy ninth

Speaker 1 and they show you know mork and mindy and all that and then they go and then um at one point they it breaks into classical music and Conrad Genesis going,

Speaker 1 like that. And then they pan over and the old lady and it turns to rock and roll.
And she's got a guitar. And she's doing it.
And you're like, oh my God, this is awful. What an awful decade.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do another review the reviewer. This is where we go to Apple Podcasts.
We pull out a five-star review. We review the review itself.
Nice. Nice.
There's a twist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They think they're reviewing us. We're reviewing them.

Speaker 3 Exactly. You get a taste of their old medicine.

Speaker 1 Good one. And this one actually calls back to a discussion we had a while back on the podcast, but I think it's worth revisiting.
This is from Brian

Speaker 1 86, A D E E 86.

Speaker 1 It's called A Losing Battle. Fighting the good fight to keep Conan O'Brien is the first Conan that pops up on my Google search.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, my teenage daughters are fighting diligently against me and in favor of Conan Gray. Yeah.
Remember this.

Speaker 1 He's a singer. I'm told he's quite good, but is he? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's my question. I'm going to put Conan into Google here.
Conan the Barbarian, followed by Conan O'Brien, followed by Conan Gray. Yeah.
I don't see why Conan the Barbarian is still popping.

Speaker 1 I mean, that movie hasn't been relevant in 40 years. Well, there was a remake with Jason Momoa a few years ago.
Yeah, there was. So that maybe that gave it a little steam.

Speaker 1 There's two Conan movies plus a Red Sonia plus the remake. Oh my God, you have so many movies.
And I think there's a new Red Sonya movie coming up. So there's a Conan.
Oh, guess what?

Speaker 1 There's a Conan and Sona here, but we are still battling Conan and Red Sonia. Let's see what comes up first, Sona or Sonia.

Speaker 1 I have to say, by the way, I just asked ChatGPT who is the most famous Conan and Conan O'Brien

Speaker 1 came up first. I love ChatGPT.
And guess what? This is proof that AI is not going to work. Yeah, it's broken.

Speaker 3 Chat GPT is broken.

Speaker 1 We just proved that it will not take over the world. Conan is the superior Conan.

Speaker 3 Wait, what? Wait, did you put in Sona? What comes in?

Speaker 2 It has to be a special speech.

Speaker 1 You guys spell each other. You spell your names differently.
She's I-A.

Speaker 1 No, she's J-A. What? I think.
Red Sona.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, I think? You know.

Speaker 1 She's anti-American. Let's see.
Am I wrong?

Speaker 3 Well, she is. Isn't she red? Does that mean she's a commie?

Speaker 1 No, she's like a barbarian.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. She's a redhead.
And guess what? I'm a redhead and I'm a proud patriot. I can't.

Speaker 1 I can't bully you for not being nerdy enough. I know.
Here's the

Speaker 1 breakdown. Oh, man.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. I'm going against.
No, I can't do that.

Speaker 1 Hey, you're in there. Are in there.

Speaker 1 Why can't you? Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 That's big.

Speaker 3 What is an Indian singer?

Speaker 3 I can't go up against that.

Speaker 1 Sona, will you put this in perspective? When you ask AI who are the famous Sonas, you're number three. Yeah, that's cool.
You came from nothing. You were a lump of clay and I breathed life into you.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You're like a puppet that came to life 10 minutes ago when it's wondering why you don't have more followers. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 Man, I just want, I want to be, I want to be able to get to like share where I just am one name.

Speaker 1 Oh, there it is. Okay, here are the bullet points for you.

Speaker 1 The longtime assistant of late-night TV co-host Conan O'Brien, not sure who that is, and a popular co-host of his podcast, Conan O'Brien, needs a friend.

Speaker 1 She is the author of the humorous book, The World's Worst Assistant. Hey.
Wow.

Speaker 3 Look at you. It's me in two sentences.
It really is.

Speaker 1 That's it. Well, you're more than that.
No, no, I'm proud of that. That's cool.
No, I'm saying you're more than that. Negative things, but you're more than that.

Speaker 1 I didn't mean good things.

Speaker 1 But you're so much more. That's like 2%.

Speaker 1 Most of the iceberg is beneath the water.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to spend

Speaker 3 all day Googling Conan Gray. So he just beats you as the most Googled guy.

Speaker 1 You know, I really am not familiar with the work of Conan Gray, but I understand he's very talented. I think if he was coming for you, he would have taken you by now.
Yeah, he's an answer.

Speaker 1 He might be safe. How can I supplant? I don't want to hear about Conan the Barbarian anymore.
Yeah. You know, I've been hearing about Conan the Barbarian since I was like 10 years old.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hear about him anymore. We have to make this a project to diminish Conan the Barbarian and enhance Conan O'Brien.
How do we do it?

Speaker 1 Maybe we give you a fantasy comic of your own, you know? Oh, that's way, or I could start working out. Like, I'm sure I'm at that age where muscle just springs out of me.

Speaker 1 Doesn't, as you get older, isn't it easier to put on muscle? I forget which way they are. I think it's easier.

Speaker 3 You should play Conan the Barbarian. Yeah.
Then it's just like Ouroboros.

Speaker 1 And you're red. You're eating yourself.
You're red.

Speaker 1 And I'll be red.

Speaker 3 Sonia. Oh, wait.
Sona.

Speaker 1 Well, Sona or Sona.

Speaker 1 You know what? We should start doing a thing where I'm like, I don't know. We, yes, we want to skim off their fame without feeding them.
How do we do that?

Speaker 1 I don't want to feed their fame in any way with our fame.

Speaker 3 I think you, what I'm saying is you eat the fame. You become Conan the Barb.
You beat, like, you can totally beat out Jason.

Speaker 1 I can't even finish saying that sentence.

Speaker 3 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I've met and talked to Jason Mamoa many times. Wonderful guy.

Speaker 1 But I have said to him, I could take you in a second.

Speaker 3 You can't, though. I could.
Why do you think you could?

Speaker 1 You could take him to lunch in a second. No, okay.

Speaker 1 That's not. Okay.
I see what you're doing. I see what you're doing.
You're saying take you in two different ways. No.

Speaker 1 I know how I would do it. I know how I would do it.
It's important that he's asleep when I attack. That's the first thing.

Speaker 3 Okay, then you have a shot. You do it.

Speaker 1 And sedated. Yeah, and sedated.
And he's sick. And that the part, the fontanelle.
And restraint.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping that

Speaker 1 he doesn't have a closed fontanelle that it never closed. His skull never closed when he was an infant.

Speaker 1 I need a weak spot. Yeah.
But I think of all those things right now. I think here's what you have to do.

Speaker 1 You have to enlist your legion of listeners to start just Googling your name and not Conan the barbarian. Yeah.
Right now, ask them to just Google your name multiple times a day

Speaker 1 for the next 10 years or so. And you know what? People, can I say something? Sometimes there's this misconception that the important things right now are, you know, trying to get some resolution

Speaker 1 between Ukraine and Russia or global warming, anything like that? And I think, no,

Speaker 1 we start with Googling Conan O'Brien several days. We could do this.
We really could do this.

Speaker 3 What is your fan base called? Do we have a name? Do they have a name?

Speaker 1 Team Coco.

Speaker 1 Is it?

Speaker 3 Is that what it is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your fan base is just the name of your company.

Speaker 3 It would be like if Taylor Swift's company was called Swifty's.

Speaker 1 No, it started with fans being Team Coco, and then we just said, let's just name the company guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, well, it started where. There's a movement.
It was a Team Jacob and Team back in Twilight. And then Tom Hanks said, I'm Team Conan.
Oh, Team Coco. But hey, I'm Team Coco.

Speaker 1 He said, I'm Team Coco. That's right.
But it was Team Edward, Team Jacob. And then Tom Hanks was like, I'm Team Coco.
Yeah, during a little fracas I was having at the time.

Speaker 1 And he said, I'm Team Coco. And that took off.
So thank you to Tom Hanks for the whole second half of my career.

Speaker 1 Seriously, he did a solid,

Speaker 1 always a good friend.

Speaker 3 Team Coco, rise up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And so then,

Speaker 1 you know, it was a great, powerful

Speaker 1 grassroots movement that I then monetized. Let's see if we can do this

Speaker 1 for the next week.

Speaker 1 Hey, this is really heartfelt and pure. Let's attach a money wheel to it.

Speaker 1 Or a Boris. Or a Boris.
Yeah. Hey, yeah.
So let's try and experiment for the next week. If every listener would please Google Conan O'Brien as often as you think you can.

Speaker 1 And then we'll check in to see if it's beating Conan, the barbarian.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the project beat Conan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And remember, just put global warming,

Speaker 1 worldwide. Everything else on hold.
Turn off your AI mode on your Google search, though, so you don't burn all of the energy of the world.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Google has an AI search mode that it does on its own. And when you use that, it burns up all this this water just because all the servers that it does.
It does.

Speaker 1 I don't get, I don't understand computers.

Speaker 1 We had something really good going here, and then you got us into this. Conserve water.
Yeah, I want to hear more about your commentary on the summary turned pretty.

Speaker 3 Oh, we were doing that before.

Speaker 1 Sorry, just kidding. Wow.

Speaker 1 Okay. Team Conrad.

Speaker 3 That's that's okay.

Speaker 1 I only learned to say that because someone else said I have no idea.

Speaker 3 Where did you hear that?

Speaker 1 I'm Sarah getting impatient.

Speaker 3 Because it is the real, it's

Speaker 3 good.

Speaker 1 I am Team Conrad. I'm Team.
Who's the other guy?

Speaker 3 Jeremiah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 His brother. Oh, my God.
Yo, can you believe it? So, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Conrad. I do my taxes over here on my phone.
All right. String my taxes here.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 We're done. Yeah, we're done.
Oh, we were done a while ago.

Speaker 1 I've left. This is just a hologram.
I'm in my car.

Speaker 3 People are going to be really excited to hear about that.

Speaker 1 About what? Team Conrad.

Speaker 3 They are. They're really excited.
You don't get it.

Speaker 1 Just, I thought we were out and you pulled us back.

Speaker 3 Hey, Team Coco, google team conrad in the summer

Speaker 1 don't get them googling anything else oh what you're taking resources to clean this up in editing please for god's sake

Speaker 1 this one's out of control okay uh yeah you had it right okay peace out shadrack

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsession, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Frost, and Nick Liao.

Speaker 1 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 1 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Speaker 1 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

Speaker 1 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

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Speaker 1 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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