Adam Scott

Speaker 1 Say hello to the all-new Alexa Plus and see how Alexa can do so much more for you. Need last-minute concert tickets? Craving your favorite restaurant? Just sit back, relax, and talk naturally.

Speaker 1 Alexa's on it. It remembers what you love, anticipates what you need, and makes it all happen.

Speaker 1 Whether you're using Echo, Fire TV, or any compatible device, Alexa Plus brings thousands of possibilities to life.

Speaker 1 Everything.

Speaker 1 The fact that you can just order concert tickets through her, that's that's crazy. Yeah, exactly.
You didn't know that? Even I knew that. Wow.
Yeah. And I fought in World War I and I know that.

Speaker 1 Ready whenever. And yeah, and you were born in the second Obama administration.
This is incredible. Ready whenever inspiration strikes, amazon.com slash new Alexa.

Speaker 1 Having the right people in your corner to support you in life makes all the difference. Trust me, I've been there.

Speaker 1 The person could be the friend who goes with you to test drive a new car, but it could also be the state farm agent who helps you choose coverage for that car.

Speaker 1 Let State Farm handle the coverage parts of life so you can focus on the fun parts of life, like taking your new car out on the open road. You don't have to worry about the coverage parts.

Speaker 1 You betcha. Go online at statefarm.com or use the award-winning app.
That app won an award. No surprise.
To get help from one of their local agents, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Speaker 1 Hi, my name is Adam Scott.

Speaker 1 And I feel

Speaker 1 pure joy

Speaker 1 about being Conan O'Brien's fucking friend. Wait, what is this? What is this? That's right, but I love that he had to think about it.
You hit pure joy, and then you clearly couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 Like you had eaten something rotten and you couldn't keep it down. I think putrefied is the exact word,

Speaker 1 the exact feeling.

Speaker 1 Hey there, Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, and I do need a friend.
Fortunately, I have 1.5 in Sonoma Obsession. Wait a minute.
And Gorley, Matt Gorley.

Speaker 1 Am I 0.5 or are we both 0.75 or is it something? You know what? It's something you'll have to figure out on your own. That's the beauty of my mystical little quits.
You never know what I really mean.

Speaker 1 This is an exciting day. It's so cool.
Because Sona's wearing a jacket I haven't seen before.

Speaker 1 And this is a woman who will wear the same jacket day in and day out. And I don't believe someone should be a clothes horse.
I don't think someone should be, you know, styling it every day.

Speaker 1 You know, that's not my way. Yeah.
But I am not a material man.

Speaker 2 But you talk about my clothes

Speaker 1 all the time. Because for most of the many, many, many years I employed you, you wore the same jacket every day.
And with all due respect, does that jacket exist anymore?

Speaker 2 Jesus, Matt. Sorry.
It does not.

Speaker 1 No, no, did that jacket go up in the fire?

Speaker 2 Yes, it did.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so maybe you should apologize.

Speaker 1 Why is he saying that? I meant to defend you.

Speaker 1 I just assumed it would be okay because you wear it all the time.

Speaker 1 So the one time you took it off, you left it in your house, and that's when your house caught fire?

Speaker 2 Yes. So you should buy me a new one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 I could buy you 30.

Speaker 1 They don't look that expensive. Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. We should also notice that this is the first recording we've done since the one recording we've done after the fires.

Speaker 1 And already you're back on early. Well, I'm saying you are.

Speaker 2 it.

Speaker 1 I used to give you a hard time about that jacket and I'm sure we've discussed it in different episodes. I called it the old Dr.
Zeus.

Speaker 1 It was

Speaker 1 a dark jacket. Dr.
Zaius' was kind of an orange.

Speaker 2 It was black.

Speaker 1 It was a black leather jacket. Yeah, it was black, but had some crenellations and folds.
It had a little bit of an 80s vibe to it.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 But anyway, you just wore the same thing every single day. And I used to say, did I not? I'll get you a jacket.

Speaker 1 I looked so cool in that jacket i did nothing is cooler than a worn-in jacket oh it was worn in all right yes no no no it was it was wow i am shocked that jacket's gone because that is such a part of it's okay she lived a good life

Speaker 1 she saw some

Speaker 2 she it's a she yeah i don't know your current jacket is definitely a she my jacket my current jacket my my best friend veronica got me oh this one this what is this and she gave me because i had pins all over my other denim jackets So she got me a happy face, a popcorn, a Freddy Mercury, and a vagina pin.

Speaker 1 I love that I just pointed to a vagina and said, What is that?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 I've heard tell

Speaker 1 a new scale.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait, I know you want to, you should probably see it.

Speaker 1 It's not just a vagina, it's got like the fallopian tubes. Yeah, it has the whole thing.
Fallopian tubes that are flowers.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not a vagina?

Speaker 1 Sorry. No, it's more like a cattlehead with roses for horns.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. What do you guys got going on in there? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why are we doing it? I don't. Don't make me do an anatomy lesson because, to be honest, I don't even know how it works.
I don't even know what's going on down there.

Speaker 1 Do you ever know what's going on? Women are supposed to do to empower themselves where they get a mirror and they look there and they love themselves and all that.

Speaker 2 Why are you saying it with disdain?

Speaker 1 I mean, that wasn't disdain. That was.
I'm saying it with utter horror.

Speaker 1 Horror.

Speaker 2 Have you ever closely examined yourself?

Speaker 1 Your, yours,

Speaker 1 ours, you could see it all the time. That's it.
And sometimes it looks right outside.

Speaker 1 They're on the outside.

Speaker 2 No, there are. There's a lot of things going on with this.
And it's, you know, I don't, I never, I never really examined it, but maybe I should. And I'll learn something.

Speaker 1 Wait, the pin or your actual undercarriage?

Speaker 2 Don't say undercarriage. Don't say undercarriage.
My vagina. You can say vagina.
It's okay to say it.

Speaker 1 Why is it going to say it? I don't know. I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 It's vagina. That's what it is.

Speaker 1 Why do you shrug your shoulders when you're? It's so uncomfortable. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I'm doing it like Jeff Ross would do it.
Vagina.

Speaker 2 Do you want to wear the vagina pin?

Speaker 1 I'm good. Okay.
I'm good. People will think I just spilled some tomatillo sauce on me.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'll wear the the pin. I'm good.

Speaker 1 But I think I want women to know I'm in their corner.

Speaker 1 Just keep that thing away from me.

Speaker 1 Now, would your mom be okay with you wearing that pin?

Speaker 2 I think at this point, they just like don't know what to, they can't tell me not to do something.

Speaker 1 Would she, just looking at that, would she know it's a vagina? Because it's not, it's not, it's weird.

Speaker 2 It's pretty vaggie.

Speaker 1 You have to, you have to, yeah, I think your first instinct is vaggie, but you have to to give it a double look.

Speaker 2 What else could it be?

Speaker 1 It's got roses on it.

Speaker 2 This is a vagina. This is how a vagina looks.

Speaker 1 It's a vagina.

Speaker 1 I think. Blay way in.

Speaker 1 I have a bunch of men. Let's not.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've seen two in his lifetime. Blair.

Speaker 1 What was the one I came out of?

Speaker 1 Passing through.

Speaker 1 It's like when you're in a train and it's not your station. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 There goes New Haven.

Speaker 1 I think, well, aren't they supposed to be the fallopian tubes of ovaries? Yeah, so it's not just the vagina, it's the women's reproductive system.

Speaker 2 Yes. Oh, oh, you were being more like tech.
Yeah, it's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 It's all of it. Yeah.
Well, why didn't they keep going and have parts of the

Speaker 1 bladder? Why not just keep going at that point? Why'd they put the fallopian tubes in there?

Speaker 2 I don't know. They probably want to celebrate that we have the ability to create life and that makes us special, unlike men who just like don't do anything.

Speaker 1 Where's the tattoo to talk about? Why do we gotta enter? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have a, no, no, but listen, we have a, we do something.

Speaker 1 What do you do? We carry the sacred seed. Okay, don't say sacred seed.
We do.

Speaker 1 Stop saying don't say this and don't say that.

Speaker 2 I don't know, but the way you approach this is very

Speaker 1 to say that we do nothing, I think, is absurd. It takes two to tango, as they say.
And we do not. Biologically, yeah.
Biologically, I think we are, for now, a necessity. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 You're right. I do think, obviously, yes, biologically, yes.
But then we have to do everything after that.

Speaker 1 And that's a lot. Well, we do things too.
We're like, honey, can I get you some tea?

Speaker 1 Before I go out to the strip club with my pals.

Speaker 1 Honey, can I prop your feet up? Before I head out and ogle the ladies on the boulevard and eat ham sandwiches with my chums. Yes.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to say one thing, which is I think it kind of says everything that

Speaker 1 someone, you know, that you have a beautiful pin celebrating women's reproductive organs and we have truck nuts. That's true.

Speaker 2 That is true.

Speaker 1 I don't put them on my. Well, in your case, you biologically have truck nuts.
I do. Yeah.
Yeah. That was just a gift from God.
And General Motors.

Speaker 1 I have 1963 Saab nuts.

Speaker 1 They're a little different.

Speaker 1 Those are cold weather nuts.

Speaker 1 Those are four-wheel drive, cold-weather, European-designed nuts. They're attractive in a vintage way.
Sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If you can see these nuts, you're way too close, buddy.
Back up. And they drive on the wrong side of the road.
Exactly. What are those nuts doing over there?

Speaker 1 This is America. I don't want to be here.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I'm servantly holding it. Yes, I am sorry for the loss of that jacket.
I really am. Okay.
I really am.

Speaker 2 I don't think you are.

Speaker 1 No, I am. I am.
I mean, you went through a terrible thing, and I'm. Yeah.
I do. It was fun making fun of that jacket.
And now that it's gone and the way that it went, I'm sad.

Speaker 1 So you're sad that you don't really get to make fun of it anymore.

Speaker 1 I have lost one of the arrows in my quiver. I now have one less thing to attack Sona with.

Speaker 1 And I think that's the greatest tragedy here.

Speaker 2 So many arrows.

Speaker 1 Let's wrap it up.

Speaker 2 It's an endless supply of arrows. Like another one just popped up, and I don't know for what, but it's there.

Speaker 1 So don't, you'll be okay. Yes, I'll get you to the end of time.

Speaker 1 Sorry about your loss.

Speaker 1 My guest today,

Speaker 1 start in

Speaker 1 shows

Speaker 1 like parks and recreation and party down. Now you can see him in the second season.
I am so excited about this. I'm

Speaker 1 loving the second season.

Speaker 1 And I do honestly think this is one of the most beautifully crafted things on television. The hit Apple TV series Severance.
So excited he's here today.

Speaker 1 I celebrate this gentleman. Adam Scott, welcome.

Speaker 1 Very excited to have you here. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 1 a massive fan of your work,

Speaker 1 but also you as a person.

Speaker 1 And we've had

Speaker 1 the joy of hanging out a little bit. And

Speaker 1 I'm just, I could not be happier for you

Speaker 1 that you are right now at the center of the coolest show on television.

Speaker 1 Universal acclaim.

Speaker 1 Everyone's been waiting on the second season. It shows up.
It was appointment television from my son, my wife, and I. We just like, we sat down loving it.
We debate it. It is beautifully made.

Speaker 1 You're killing it. And I'm just, I'm happy for you.
Thank you, Conan. Do I wish it were me? Yes, I do.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Sure, I understand. Do I feel that maybe there was a chance that I'd get that part?

Speaker 1 Or that's a mix-up of some sort? Yeah, Stiller. I know Stiller called me at one point and I didn't get the call.
I couldn't quite pick it up. No, I'm just, I'm.
That's show business. That's, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he had to go with his second choice. That's right.
Adam Scott. That's right.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Well, whatever. You know what? It ended up working out.
And

Speaker 1 no, it is just so artfully done, so beautifully done. So much thought has gone into this.
And I watched the opening shot of the second season several times. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I'm not giving anything away, but the opening shot of the second season, you are running down this hallway that just doesn't end.

Speaker 1 And there's something about the way it's shot. I don't know what it is.
I've watched a lot of film. I've watched a lot of television.

Speaker 1 And I have never seen anything quite like it. And I can't put my finger on what's happening there, but it is a absolutely incredible piece of filmmaking that's the start of a television show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's all Ben. He really, first of all, thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to be here. I listen to the show all the time.

Speaker 1 And Conan, you are one of those people who, you know, as you move through show business, you get to know people that you know their work and I'm a fan, you are a fan before you get to know them.

Speaker 1 You are definitely one of those people. I still can't believe that I actually know you.
And I know there are a lot of us who feel that way.

Speaker 1 So, thank you, and thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 It may not last. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I can already tell it's fading. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm starting to forget your name right now. That's right.
That's right. Which I totally expect based on previous experience.

Speaker 1 Every time I've seen you out on the street, I usually ask you, oh, waiter. Yes.

Speaker 1 Can I get some more ice water? It's a party down confusion. That's right.
Yeah. But anyway,

Speaker 1 I know that

Speaker 1 Ben takes this really seriously. And it's not just making a TV show.
This is a whole other thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's part of what I love about it is that he's someone who, you know, him, he's thinking about all of it. He's thinking about the whole grid at all times.

Speaker 1 And for me, that's, that lets me relax and the rest of the cast as well.

Speaker 1 And we can just focus on, because if you're worried about like, what it, yeah, but if you're asking me to do, to do this, but is it going to feel ridiculous?

Speaker 1 Because that thing's happening and we're going 40 miles an hour. If that guy's right here and I'm reacting this way, like.

Speaker 1 And sometimes you say that and the director looks at you and it's clear that they haven't thought about any of this, which is fine too.

Speaker 1 It's, it's a matter of experience or how different people make different things. But with Ben, you know, he's thinking about the entire thing.
He's considered every detail.

Speaker 1 So we we can all just focus on the task at hand. The sense I get is that Ben is playing three-dimensional chess.
Yes. And,

Speaker 1 you know, and we're playing Connect for it. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And you will ask him a question. You'd be like, do not worry.
He's seeing like his nine-dimensional chessboard.

Speaker 1 But looking at the whole span of your career, this is quite a different gig.

Speaker 1 First of all, I know

Speaker 1 it took you a while. You paid, talk about paying your dues.
You paid your dues for a long time. It took you a long time to

Speaker 1 find your footing, catch your break. And then it was really in,

Speaker 1 I mean, starting out in like background work. Weren't you doing background work? Yeah, for a Tia Carrer music video.
That was one of my many backgrounds. That was you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were the best part. You guys probably all recognized me when I walked in.
Yeah. Guy with beret, I believe is how they referred to me.
For real?

Speaker 2 You were wearing a beret for real?

Speaker 1 My own.

Speaker 1 I can't find it anywhere. I really have worked.

Speaker 1 It was fall of 93, and I had a beret, and I thought it was great. And I wore it all the time.
And I definitely wore it

Speaker 1 to the filming of the Tia Carrera video. So

Speaker 1 I would love to try and find it. I don't even know if I appear to be a fan of it.
I have to say, I don't know if you guys do this. And you might do it because this used to be your profession.

Speaker 1 I look at background people sometimes in scenes.

Speaker 1 And if I don't find the scene particularly riveting, I really do look at the background people. 100%.

Speaker 1 And I'm usually impressed. Yeah.
Like they're in it.

Speaker 1 They're both not talking at the same time, even though

Speaker 1 and then every now and then there's someone who's just too happy about having a cup of coffee. Yes,

Speaker 1 or having a conversation where they're like, you know,

Speaker 1 taking down a knot. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 Or wearing a beret. You're wearing a beret.
Anything to get noticed.

Speaker 1 But, you know, then

Speaker 1 when your breaks start to come, it's very much ensemble work.

Speaker 1 And you are in an ensemble now, but you are the face of the show.

Speaker 1 So this is, I mean,

Speaker 1 there must be something kind of comforting about ensemble work. Clearly, I mean, working on something like Party Down, you're just working with these wonderful improvised.
I mean, what a cast.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. Yeah,

Speaker 1 feeling like you're just ensconced in this, in this incredible, and Parks and Rec, too, just being

Speaker 1 part of this crew that Amy was really leading. But yeah, comforting is a perfect word for it.
And it's part of why I was so freaked out when Severance first came out a few years ago.

Speaker 1 It's like suddenly the billboards went up and it was my face around town.

Speaker 1 And it really, it should have been like this big, happy, you know, monumental moment that I've been waiting for for 30 years, but it just freaked me out.

Speaker 1 And Ben sort of talked me down because he's certainly been through it.

Speaker 1 Just because at that point, we made the show in a bubble and and no one had seen it and we loved it, but had no clue if anyone would like it or if people would just make fun of us.

Speaker 1 Like, you just don't know at all, other than your own barometer. And we thought it was cool, but man, you just have, you have zero sense of how it's going to be received.

Speaker 1 So it could have been this big embarrassing thing. Anyway,

Speaker 1 yeah, when you're kind of out front, it is, it's, it's frightening and then also rewarding when you're doing something that you feel good about. Yes.

Speaker 1 I've said this for many years, and I don't think most people would understand it.

Speaker 1 I think the assumption is if you're working on something cool that's going to be iconic, everyone knows it as they're working on it. And that is not the case.

Speaker 1 And I've always said it takes a lot of very talented people working very hard to make something terrible. Yeah.
You know, it's why I get very impatient. around Oscar season.

Speaker 1 There are all these reviews of movies and a lot of them are really brilliant movies, and they'll say, Yeah, but then they really blew it in that one part.

Speaker 1 And I'll be thinking, do you know how hard it is just to make a movie?

Speaker 1 Let alone a great movie,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 there's that one part in the brutalist where they kind of miss the mark a little bit. People become just film historians when Oscar season comes around.
They get very, very persnickety.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also all the time it takes. I think that was part of why we were also afraid of it landing with a thud is that it was so hard to make and took so long that

Speaker 1 it would have been a bummer. But anything that comes out and doesn't quite work, people were working on it for a few years.
It's always

Speaker 1 one thing geeking out about Severance, the visuals,

Speaker 1 the way it shot. the colors.
There's all this thought going into stuff.

Speaker 1 The machines they use are oddly out of time.

Speaker 1 The cars. The cars are out of time, which leads to all different kinds of theories.

Speaker 1 But the choices, directing and creating a lot of the time is about choices and just everything is just a little off in this weird way that I can't quite put my finger on. And I find I could watch it,

Speaker 1 you know, watch it with the sound on, and then you could watch it again with the sound off and just look

Speaker 1 at the colors and what people are wearing and how things are framed in the shots.

Speaker 1 And I think how Ben and Chesca Lee Gagne, the director of photography, and Jeremy, our production designer, and Kat, our props master, I think the way they visually tell the story too, you could watch it with the sound off and get the story too, emotionally.

Speaker 1 And maybe some of the more kind of mind-twisty details wouldn't be there, but you would emotionally get the story.

Speaker 1 And I think that's really important too, when you can make something where you can turn the sound off. Like, it's like if you listen to your podcast with the sound off, you get

Speaker 1 it. You know, I'm going to tell you, you get a little bit more than if you do listen to it with the sound, right?

Speaker 1 We recommend that people, when they're driving, turn the sound off,

Speaker 1 and you'll have a completely superior. I recommend you put on a different podcast.

Speaker 1 But keep the sound off on this one. Concurrently, play another one.
That's the experience.

Speaker 1 Amazon is known for its products, but I also really love their customer reviews. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This holiday season, Amazon is bringing the most creative and outrageous customer reviews into the spotlight as part of their Amazon five-star theater.

Speaker 1 Here's a review for the board game Twister.

Speaker 1 Angela writes, I bought this to play with my other late 20s, early 30s friends. Our bodies were not prepared for the pain that ensued.

Speaker 1 When all of my extremities ended up on the same color, my body went into full spasm.

Speaker 1 This is harrowing. My arms turned to jelly and my spine broke in half.

Speaker 1 Finally, I fell slowly to the ground in frog pose. The torture was over.
If you're in basic shape and somewhat flexible, this is the game for you. Five stars.

Speaker 1 You know, know, it's very rare for someone to be doing something with a product and have their spine break in half and give it a five-star review. That is very rare.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This person's a very good sport. Anyway, whatever you're looking for this holiday, find the perfect gift on Amazon.
Hey, Sona, I heard you got a new car. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, David usually gives me a ride to work, but I'd love it if you.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, you're not. I'm sorry.
You're not allowed in my new car.

Speaker 2 My Palisade is my oasis. It's my happy place.
So you're not allowed in the middle of the day. Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? I made you.

Speaker 1 When I found you, you were wandering the streets with a bucket on your head. What? And now you're Sonoma Obsession and you're driving around the Palisade.
You won't give me a ride.

Speaker 2 This is why I don't let you in my happy place because you talk about me walking around with a bucket on my head. Why would I let you into my personal oasis if this is the way you're going to talk?

Speaker 2 You have to earn your spot. Well, earn it.

Speaker 1 In my Hyundai Python, the whole new Hyundai Palisade hybrid is more than just another SUV. It's still the Palisade, but with so much more, like up to 600-plus miles of range.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. And class-leading interior space.
So much space. Now, have you enjoyed that extra space?

Speaker 2 I'm being very serious right now. If you recline the seat all the way back, a little ottoman pops up so you can sleep comfortably in the front seat.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Yeah.
There are seating configurations for seven to eight passengers with available third-row power seats that recline plus available front and second row relaxation seats.

Speaker 1 Learn more about the Hyundai Palisade at hyundaiusa.com. Call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

Speaker 1 I'm sure a lot of you out there are plain Coca-Cola people, and that's respectable. Trust me, I'm one.
Yes, I am. You've many times seen me just, I like to order just a regular Coca-Cola.
I really do.

Speaker 1 I really do. But if you haven't tried a Coca-Cola from Sonic, now is your chance because right now it's completely free with any purchase.

Speaker 1 Now, if you're a regular Joe, you're thinking to yourself, I can get a Coca-Cola from anywhere, Conan. Why would I go to Sonic? Well, I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 1 Sonic has all the flavors and add-ins to make the perfect Coca-Cola for you. I'm talking strawberry, cherries, coconuts, sweet cream, jalapenos.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Second of all, let me say this again. It's free.
But I like an add-in. I like to have a little flavor.
And you know what? Coconut in your Coca-Cola is delicious. It really is.

Speaker 1 So create a Coke your way, any size, any flavor, free with any purchase in the Sonic app for a limited time. Live free.
Eat Sonic.

Speaker 1 It's funny because you've had one of those careers too where you've popped in different things over the years.

Speaker 1 Sona, you're a we all love stepbrothers. You're a stepbrothers fanatic.

Speaker 1 You're a stepbrothers fanatic.

Speaker 1 I do love it so much.

Speaker 1 The way you popped in that must have, you know,

Speaker 1 felt like one carp.

Speaker 1 I always, that's the thing I remember most about that movie.

Speaker 1 But, and I, and I know that your arc in Parks and Wreck was a little strange, right? You, when, when the show started,

Speaker 1 there's a story to it. Well, I started at the end of season two.
I mean, I had an audition for the show originally, but it wasn't even really for a specific role.

Speaker 1 It was so early that Mike was still, me and Rashida read together and blew it and was

Speaker 1 bummed. And then Party Down came along.
So in a way, it sort of worked out well. I was able to do that because I didn't get the Parks pilot.
And I'm so glad I was able to do Party Down.

Speaker 1 And then weirdly, Mike loved Party Down and from that asked me to come and join Parks. So it all sort of came around.
Now, this is the inevitable question. Did you ever get to ask Mike, hey, man,

Speaker 1 what the fuck? What the fuck? I was here, remember? When I auditioned for you? That's just something that, and it's so funny because

Speaker 1 we've had this experience here on this podcast where we're talking to iconic legendary actors. And when they bring up the guy who snubbed them, the casting director, Harrison Ford did it

Speaker 1 on this podcast, and he was like, you know, the year was 1967. He's still like pissed about.
He's pissed. Yeah, Jerry Tsakovsky.
Derry Tsukovsky. Yeah.
And also, you know, famously,

Speaker 1 famously, Michael Jordan, when he was accepted into into like the, you know, basketball hall of fame, his speech was all a list.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he started listing people who, you know, this guy benched me in fifth grade. Remember that?

Speaker 1 Josh Killaway. Yeah.
You know, and

Speaker 1 it's his fuel. Like that documentary.
He's constantly bringing it. Yeah.
It's his fuel, but it does bring up the idea of you're working with someone who

Speaker 1 rejected. I had this with.

Speaker 2 Hey, what are you saying? He should be pissed at Mike Sherman. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You know what? You're right.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 This is the goal of my podcast.

Speaker 1 To dig up old animosities.

Speaker 1 Here's a very well-liked.

Speaker 1 Adam is a very well-liked

Speaker 1 actor, celebrity,

Speaker 1 critically acclaimed.

Speaker 1 His wonderful family. He's happy.
He's having this big moment that will keep going. And all I want to do is get him mad.

Speaker 1 I'm going straight to Mike's house out there.

Speaker 1 Ding dong. Hey, Adam, bang, asshole.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. And then we never speak.

Speaker 1 Then later he hears the podcast. Oh, I see.
I see. Then he rings my bell.
Oh, hi, Mike. Bang.

Speaker 1 Soon, just a cavalcade of people punching each other.

Speaker 1 And just lawsuits for years. Yeah, lawsuits for years.
We're all tied up in the courts. I never asked him, I think, because I was just 100% sure why, which was I

Speaker 1 blew the,

Speaker 1 I sucked at auditioning. I hated it.
It was embarrassing. And I was just never very good at it.
So I didn't walk out of there thinking I was going to get the job anyway. I

Speaker 1 had this with Ray Romano, Ray Romano, who we didn't, he wanted to be a monologue writer for my show. Great comedian, great joke writer.

Speaker 1 We didn't have a slot, but he had a good packet and people knew knew him. So I met with him

Speaker 1 and sat across. He came into my office and, you know, at the time I'm like 32 years old.
Did you remember the joke?

Speaker 1 Vaguely. And he was sitting there and he was real nervous.
And I just kind of said that your stuff is great.

Speaker 1 But we didn't have an opening. So he goes from that experience to maybe a year later getting Everybody Loves Raymond and then

Speaker 1 becoming this monolithic TV star.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I I remember later on running in, it was like, ah,

Speaker 1 I was really bummed I didn't get that job.

Speaker 1 Wow. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Do you realize what we pay monologue?

Speaker 1 Was it me?

Speaker 1 There wasn't an elephant. Ray.
Ray. Hello.
Ray.

Speaker 1 You're Ray Romano. That doesn't happen if you're with me.

Speaker 1 Writing, oh, you know. You are profoundly wealthy.
Yeah, exactly. Because of your greatness.
You can buy and sell me 35.

Speaker 1 I know, but I think I could have done that. Are you sure you weren't talking to Bobcat Goldwyn? No, I was talking to Cookie Monster.

Speaker 1 Cookies. Anyway, you know, it's just, I don't know,

Speaker 1 I love people that just get stuck on something like that. And I'm trying to get you stuck on it, but

Speaker 1 I am now. I'm obsessed.

Speaker 1 Al Pacino, too. Did he say something about that? You guys had Al Pacino.
Yes. And he sat right where you're sitting, and he's one of my

Speaker 1 great enemies. And talk about, you can't believe, I couldn't believe that I'm in, you know, I mean, I bumped into him a couple of times.

Speaker 1 He'd always been very sweet to me, knew who I was, would like call me, called me over to his table once in a while.

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe that this guy,

Speaker 1 there's a, there's, of, of all the space in his brain, there's one cell that knows about me. Like, I couldn't, I couldn't believe it because I'm such a massive fan, but he

Speaker 1 was sitting here. And yeah, he was very in touch with no bitterness at all, but very much in touch with the fact that um

Speaker 1 you know coppola and the studio really didn't want him yeah uh i mean coppola wanted him to to to uh to to be uh have the role in the godfather but studio didn't want him and then for maybe half the shoot of the movie yeah they they're they don't like the studio doesn't like him and coppola is like yeah i know he's not bringing it he's not bringing it and tells him that and he remembered being called over to coppola's table at a restaurant and coppola didn't even stand up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he didn't ask him to sit down. Didn't ask him to sit down.
And so he was very much in touch with that and still is. And I remembered him saying to me, like, you know, Conan, they didn't want me.

Speaker 1 They didn't want me. And I'm like, yes.
But then you did get it, and you became the face of the Michael Corleone. Yes.
For not one, but two of the greatest films ever made.

Speaker 1 And then you go on to do all this other iconic work. And it's like, I know, but they didn't want me.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's just incredible. You know, Al Pacino.
Al Al Pacino is. Just to think, I listened to his book that he was promoting here and

Speaker 1 just him talking about like scenes in The Godfather and how he finally convinced them he was he was right for the role from doing the scene where he shoots the two guys in the restaurant.

Speaker 1 But just thinking about at one point, there were people just like working on that scene and trying to figure out like how to do it.

Speaker 1 It's just so weird to think that there was a time before that scene existed and that that scene is because of some decisions that people kind of guessed at, and we're just figuring it out.

Speaker 1 Also, I love, and this has happened before too, I love the concept that there are crew people going, who the fuck is this guy? I know. And when they were shooting,

Speaker 1 you know, the opening of The Godfather takes place at the big wedding at Marlon Brando's estate, and everyone's, you know, dancing and having fun, and they cut over to Michael and Kay.

Speaker 1 He's really underplaying it. You know, he's just

Speaker 1 He's just out of the army and he's explaining who people are. He's like, that's Luca Brazzi.
He works for my father. He takes care of, what does your father do, Michael?

Speaker 1 But apparently those dailies came back and the

Speaker 1 people at, I guess it was Paramount maybe, were like,

Speaker 1 who is this droopy noodle of a guy in a big army hat? He's terrible. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like zero charisma. Zero charisma.
And he's not being, and

Speaker 1 the crew, the crew is like, what's with this guy? And apparently, the other time that happened, a graduate. Yeah.
So Dustin Hoffman is, you know,

Speaker 1 in the book, The Graduate, the graduate is

Speaker 1 blonde-haired, blue-eyed. And so they wanted like Robert Redford.
That was who it was supposed to be.

Speaker 1 And the big, brave decision was, no, it's going to be this little-known actor, theater actor, Dustin Hoffman, who's not a blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid.

Speaker 1 And the crew and everyone is like, what the fuck? Yeah, this guy's mumbling. This is the same crew.
What about you? Yes, no, no, no, I know. Hey, trust me.
This is the hey, trust me.

Speaker 1 They didn't believe in what they were working on.

Speaker 1 This is the crew I had at late night in 93, 94, and 95. Right.
Because we inherited Dave's.

Speaker 1 And I swear to God, people were like, I don't blame them, but they were like, you know, they had just had David Letterman. Wait, you had Dave's crew? I had a third.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his core. I had his camera, some of his camera, because they stayed behind.

Speaker 1 Dave went to CBS and took some people, but there was a court. I don't blame them.
There was like cable pullers and stuff.

Speaker 1 And David Letterman, after 11 years of reinventing the format and dominating, has now gone on to greater heights. And

Speaker 1 they're like, they got this new kid. Here he comes.

Speaker 1 And I come in.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, hi, everybody.

Speaker 1 My name's Conan. I know.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I like improv. We're going to try some weird stuff.
I don't know. I think it's going to be okay.

Speaker 1 Hey, does anybody, what dries up acne?

Speaker 1 Does anybody know? Like, I still had acne break out occasionally.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, does anyone, because I use this stuff, is there something better?

Speaker 1 And these heart.

Speaker 2 Why are you asking the crew about your acne?

Speaker 1 I don't know. And these guys out to everyone asking if anyone has any recommendations.
I opened the shows with it on.

Speaker 1 If anyone's out there watching,

Speaker 1 it just keeps. I think it might be cystic.
I don't know. It comes back.

Speaker 1 But that was the thing that blew my mind was the that, and I didn't blame them, but there were just, I mean, there were guys on my crew that had worked on Sullivan when the Beatles played there. Wow.

Speaker 1 And I would ask them, like, what was that like? And they were guys from Long Island. Yeah.
You know, and they'd say stuff like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was mad because I was, it's a Sunday night. I'm not supposed to work Sunday night.
I'm out on the island. And then they call me because Steve got said, I got to come in.

Speaker 1 And so I'm up in there, and I'm like, but it was the Beatles, it was the Beatles. I'm like, it was a lot of night, I don't know, they have fucking hair, I don't know.

Speaker 1 And then I'm on the way home, and then the carburetor blows out, so fuck that shit, you know, and I don't get paid overtime. And you're like, that's their memory of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, great, this was a really special talk.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 On the subject of music, I know that you have done many podcasts, music-centric podcasts. You have your obsessions, REM.
Yeah. You love REM.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I, yeah, because I'm, you know, that generation that kind of grew up with that, that music. Like they got huge around 87, like with their first big hit.

Speaker 1 And I was like 14, so it was kind of perfect.

Speaker 1 My college girlfriend, when I was, I think, a senior, she was so cool. She knew about music.
Yeah. She knew bands before they broke.
Yeah. But I remembered her being very cool and saying, yeah, REM.

Speaker 1 I'm like, REM? Yeah. What is that? Right.
That sounds, I don't,

Speaker 1 is that a, that's a band? Right. And kind of thinking, great, you like your niche little band that's not going anywhere.

Speaker 2 Why did she break up with you?

Speaker 1 You seemed really cool.

Speaker 1 I have no idea about anything you're talking about. Nothing interesting.
I think I said to her, nothing you say is of value to me.

Speaker 1 And then she walks out on me. What's that all about? So weird that that didn't work.
Women.

Speaker 1 No, there was something mysterious about their name and the way they looked and the music videos they weren't in. It was just all cool.
Yeah. You know, back then.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 1 to this day, a lot of great music. Yeah.
So it's, it's, what, what are your bands? Your bands are REM, U2. Yeah, those were like my Beatles, Beatles and Stones, kind of for, I don't know,

Speaker 1 for my age grouper generation or whatever. Those were the two big ones.
I'm seeing here that you're

Speaker 1 77 years old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those were the two big ones. And they were very, now looking back, it's like, well, of course, they were both very mainstream, like arena rock bands.

Speaker 1 And I think that's part of what I liked about it, too, just sort of the grandness of it.

Speaker 1 What are you watching when you're a kid? What are the shows that mean something to you on TV? Lettermen was a huge one.

Speaker 1 We didn't have, I grew up in Santa Cruz, California, which is this little hip, kind of hippie beach town. And so we didn't have a TV in our house.
I lived with my mom for

Speaker 1 a majority of the time and then went back and forth. But while I was living there, my dad got me this little five-inch black and white TV that I just kept in my room.
And I was just glued to it.

Speaker 1 You know, without cable television, you have three stations. So I would just watch whatever was on from 7 p.m.
or whenever till they went off the air at

Speaker 1 1.30 or 2 or whatever. Anyway, Letterman, you know, and different strokes and whatever network comedies were on.
Hour-long dramas always felt like too grown up and boring until I got older.

Speaker 1 And now you go back and look at hour-long dramas when we were coming of age and they're just like pornography bad, you know?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 not only are they just weirdly bad, but they show, there's so much shoe leather just because they're trying to fill up the 42 notes. Oh, I'm obsessed with, I've had huge fights.

Speaker 1 I had a huge fight with Bill Burr, who loves chips.

Speaker 1 And I went after Bill and said, chips is a piece of shit. And he's like,

Speaker 1 what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 He's getting crazy on me about how much he loves chips and how much it meant to him. But if you watch those shows now,

Speaker 1 the editing, they'll.

Speaker 1 I don't know if everyone's on Coke that's making them,

Speaker 1 but the shots are lazy. So the whole point of the show is there's going to be this big meeting.
Right. You know, and so a guy's going to pull up in his car and go talk to someone who's in another car.

Speaker 1 The car will pull up in some big parking lot 30 feet away. The guy will get out and shut the door and walk 30 feet to the other guy.
Totally. No cutting.
No.

Speaker 1 No editing because they're like, yeah, we can kill some time walking from that giant bad late 70s American car to this one. That's right.
That's right.

Speaker 1 Like people have no idea how lucky they are with Breaking Bad and the surprise, you know, whatever, you know, modern television. Right.
We did those credit sequence things, the greatest event.

Speaker 1 So we had to go and watch like Simon and Simon episodes to find these certain scenes to get context on some of them. And like Bill Burr, like my memories of Simon and Simon are one thing.

Speaker 1 Like it meant so much to me as a kid. But then kind of diving in and really watching, it's just a whole different.
Like I would challenge Bill Burr to binge chips right now.

Speaker 1 Like really see if he can hang in there well I'm sure I'll be getting a call from him very soon I just saw him the other day we had a lovely meal and now he's gonna feel like I betrayed him

Speaker 1 but I think we are in TV's golden age I keep saying that clearly the whole business changed but we are but what you're describing and now we sound like you know the two old men on the Muppet show in the balcony but you watched what was on right and you had an awareness sometimes this doesn't seem that good right But it was all there was.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's three networks.
And also, there's what comes in, meaning what will, what will my reception capture? Yes.

Speaker 1 Because sometimes there's a good show, and you'd go to turn it on, and there was the antenna. I keep moving the antenna around.

Speaker 1 That's right. And so just this, I don't know.
And it was inconsistent. Some nights CBS would come in great, and some nights it was just garbage.
Right. And so now there's the other problem:

Speaker 1 I have 7,000 options.

Speaker 1 And yes, there are some very obvious choices I can make when I know there's a really good documentary out or, hey, Severance is back. I know what I'm doing.
It's appointment television.

Speaker 1 But then there's so much where people have told me, you've got to watch Gub Gub Nation. And I'm like, what is it?

Speaker 1 I love GubGub Nation.

Speaker 1 You're surrounded by people that love GubGub Nation. And I'll be like,

Speaker 1 we're GubGubbers.

Speaker 1 We're just from Gubheads. What's up, everybody? One Gubhead.
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
And I'll say, what is it? And they'll be like, oh, it takes place in an advertising agency.

Speaker 1 It's British. But you're going to really, and I'll watch like two episodes.
Oh, you got to hang in for seven. Two, seven.
Get to seven. No, you have to.

Speaker 1 Get to seven, because that's when the gub gubbers show up.

Speaker 1 And those gub gubers walk in.

Speaker 1 Lights out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we could like. Because now kids, it's all dependent on, they can watch whatever they want.
So it just depends on their taste, what they're going to watch.

Speaker 1 Back then, like you said, we just watched whatever was on. And that's how we came up with our taste was by watching everything.

Speaker 1 So it's just a completely, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Never mind.
Never mind. Never mind.

Speaker 1 I remember my. My writing partner, when I came out to LA for the first time, Greg Daniels, of course, the great Greg Daniels, he and I came out here and we're both 22 years old.

Speaker 1 And there wasn't that much television. There was just, as I said, a couple of networks and a couple of big sitcoms and so, and some dramas.
And so you, you had seen everything.

Speaker 1 There was no such thing as a show that you had never heard of because

Speaker 1 there aren't that many shows. Yeah.
So I remember once Greg and I are working late and I think we were over at Sunset Gower Studios, which isn't too far from where we are now.

Speaker 1 And we're these like wide-eyed 22-year-old guys right out of college. And we're working on this show called Not Necessarily the News.

Speaker 1 But then we're also wandering around because we're like, wow, this is where they make television. And we wandered on to, oh my God, this is the set where they make Benson.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 And Benson with Robert Guillaume. They were still making it? I think they were still making it.
And this would be 1985. Yeah, yeah.
I'm seeing an actual,

Speaker 1 this is the governor's mansion where Benson lives.

Speaker 1 What? This is it. And it's, all the lights are kind of down.
There's a couple of lights on, but there's like cloth over things. I think they put the things over the sheets over the furniture.

Speaker 1 And we're wandering in and Greg and I, I mean, it's so funny now, Greg has made so much iconic TV, but I remember very clearly him being like, wow.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we walk in and we get up close and we look and we're looking at the actual like vase and table. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's supposed to be a rich like governor's mansion. And it looks like shit.

Speaker 1 It's like, because fake.

Speaker 1 It's all fake and it's all slapped on kind of fake gold paint. And that's the vase looks like it costs two dollars and i remember having this revelation of it's all a lie man

Speaker 1 totally vinson's mansion sucks yeah

Speaker 1 what is this

Speaker 1 you know and then and then having that realization over and over and over again whenever i was on a set and sitting down and like this is the chair right where the girls on facts of life sit

Speaker 1 wow crap time did you get to spend on the facts of life

Speaker 1 i know i used to go over there a lot

Speaker 1 hang out in the chair That sounds so creepy.

Speaker 1 Did you know where the chair is from Casco?

Speaker 1 Where the ladies sit?

Speaker 2 All of them at the same time.

Speaker 1 There's that one scene. No, I don't listen.
Which one does Mrs. Garrett sit in?

Speaker 1 Point me in the general direction.

Speaker 1 No, but I mean, it's just so

Speaker 1 such a revelation when you got to see. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it would be, I mean, it's never really changed, you know, when you're on a set. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The first time that I saw saw Letterman's show, which so weirdly, but I was in college and I went to New York and saw a live taping of Late Night with David Letterman. That's wild.

Speaker 1 Having no idea that I would take over that show

Speaker 1 and in that studio, and that some of those crew members would be my crew members. And I'm, so I remembered sitting, being led in by NBC Pages and sitting down and thinking, what's going on?

Speaker 1 This is really small. Yeah.
Because on television, the perspective is widened and things look big.

Speaker 1 And realizing, wait a minute, what the fuck? Like, where Dave is standing doing his monologue, he can reach over and touch, you know, Paul Schaefer. He could touch him.

Speaker 1 Whereas on TV, the way they shoot it, it doesn't look that way at all.

Speaker 1 Studio 6A is notoriously, it's a small, it was built for radio. It wasn't built for television.
And

Speaker 1 that's the magic of it is that it's small.

Speaker 1 So comedy rockets around the room and bounces off the walls.

Speaker 1 and it felt like there was something it felt exclusive and small it felt like a like the audience they didn't sweeten the audience either which i don't know if late night shows do that at all but but they i wish we did

Speaker 1 we never thought of that by the way i have a story relating to that of wishing your audience was sweetened with a terrible terrible bit i brought on your show but as far as the letterman show goes there was something just as a fan that felt really it felt like a clubhouse or something.

Speaker 1 So did they find you in the audience? Did they go back ever and find you on that? I was sitting pretty far back and I would have to, I know one. That's incredible.

Speaker 1 I got to find that episode, actually. Which was a guest, do you remember?

Speaker 1 It's a blur. I have a memory of one bit and I'm going to really have to think about it, but a door slides open and a boxer comes out of the wall, but I bet I could figure out what the episode is.

Speaker 1 I don't think there's a a shot of me in the audience. I was sitting pretty far back with my friend Maya Williams.

Speaker 1 And afterwards, Maya knew one of the writers on the show, Steve O'Donnell. Oh, yes.
And Steve brought us up to the offices.

Speaker 1 And we're sitting in Steve O'Donnell's tiny office. And I'm sitting there with Maya talking to Steve.
And Meryl Marco walks by. And a guy in a leather jacket walks by with her, carrying a box.

Speaker 1 And it's Dave Letterman.

Speaker 1 He kind of just nods at us and keeps moving. And I, it was, well, there's no, if I was a kid, I'd say it was like the president of the United States walked by, but that no longer works.
Right.

Speaker 1 That was the president now. I'm sorry.
I don't care who's president now in this world. It would be like, oh, it's a president.
I'm so demystified.

Speaker 1 Who cares?

Speaker 1 So, but I'll never forget. I remember the jacket he was wearing.
I remembered and remembered thinking, wow,

Speaker 1 he gets to have this

Speaker 1 show.

Speaker 1 And then the idea that, what is that? That's probably 1983.

Speaker 1 The idea that 10 years later, I'm hosting that show to this day makes no sense to me. And I think was a mistake.
I really do in my heart think it was a mistake. No way.

Speaker 1 No, I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm taking it all in. I'm whatever.
I'm saying

Speaker 1 it's a beautiful thing, but

Speaker 1 it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 It's funny.

Speaker 1 I don't know that I I have. I don't know that I have because I don't know.
I mean, not that Dave and I talk that much, only because we don't cross paths much. When we do, I treasure those moments.

Speaker 1 But from his perspective, it's a story of I saw you once and you were wearing a leather jacket in a hallway. Yeah.
And I had acne. Right.

Speaker 1 I don't ask you. Do you have anything I can clearly? Do you have anything?

Speaker 1 And will your crew hate me as much as I think they will?

Speaker 1 Andrew, do you want to spend your moments with Dave recalling that particular thing? I think I will next time. Yeah, you should.
I bet he would get a kick out of it. He might.

Speaker 1 I don't know, or he might have me taken away by his retinue of goons.

Speaker 1 What was the story when you were on the bit? Oh, yeah, you didn't tell us you were.

Speaker 1 You did a bit. What happened? Okay, so it was this is, it ended up being.
I know. You know what I mean? Go ahead.
Go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 1 It ended up being one of the most deeply embarrassing moments I've had. And it's also confounding to me from beginning to end why I did this.

Speaker 1 I just had this confidence in this bit and didn't really slow down to think about it before I,

Speaker 1 okay. I was promoting Big Little Eyes, right? The second season of Big Little Eyes.
And so the bit that I came up with, it's also interesting because it's so bad from so many different angles.

Speaker 1 And there's nothing about it that works. Nothing.
You know what I love? You so don't want to tell us what it is. I know.

Speaker 1 You keep qualifying. I know.
And another thing you should know

Speaker 1 is that the Roman Empire did not have movable type.

Speaker 1 When I tell you the basic premise, you're going to be like, why would you do that? Okay. So big little eyes.

Speaker 1 The way I saw it going is like us talking and you being like, wow, big little, the cast is amazing. It's like, yeah, no, it's, yeah, the, it's all like legendary actresses.

Speaker 1 It's like the traveling Wilburys of

Speaker 1 legendary actresses.

Speaker 1 So what I had done is I thought that

Speaker 1 saying the traveling Wilburys of actresses and equating Big Little Eyes with the Traveling Wilburys would be this like comedy explosion.

Speaker 1 It is funny. That would.

Speaker 1 Well, but then, and then you start to go through, like, for example,

Speaker 1 Reese,

Speaker 1 I had mocked up the album cover oh wow with instead of the traveling willbury's the the actresses faces on their bodies yep and also had gone through for each traveling willbury and switched them out for like reese is bob dylan shaylene you know nicole kidman is uh is george harrison whatever i don't remember what it was so and you had reasons why i had reasons why but the first of all nobody under 50 50 knows who the fuck the traveling Wilburries are.

Speaker 1 This was immediately apparent. When I said the first line, it's like the traveling Wilburies of actresses, it was silent.
Silent. Silent.
You could hear the air condenser. Literally.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But also, I came to learn that those over 50 who do remember the Traveling Wilburys don't give a fuck

Speaker 1 about.

Speaker 1 I may be your one demographic. Okay.

Speaker 1 Why weren't you there?

Speaker 1 I was at a Travis Roberts concert.

Speaker 1 So I say it, silence, show the record cover, silence. Right.
And then I start going through each member of the band. Yep, you sure did.
The crazy thing is, is I was so sure that this was going to

Speaker 1 create a tidal wave of comedy that you and I would just be able to surf through

Speaker 1 each member of the band that I never came up with actual jokes for each one. Right.

Speaker 1 I just had these little, like, oh, she was in Days of Thunder, so she's Bob Dylan, thinking it would just be so like crackly and you and Andy would be like,

Speaker 1 it would take on this life of its own.

Speaker 1 And it's like nuclear fission or fusion. It's just going to, molecules are going to be bouncing off each other and the rest will take care of itself.
That's right. And we'll be fine.

Speaker 1 But like you in the Letterman Theater, here we are 10 years later. And look at the gold it's giving us.

Speaker 1 No, no, and this is the perfect place to discuss this because it's anatomy of a, you are not alone.

Speaker 1 I've had, I, and I've had many prominent people come up to me over the years and say, I just want to say I'm sorry. And I'll say, what? And they'll say, oh, in 1998,

Speaker 1 I came on and I tried this thing and I bombed so hard. And I don't remember

Speaker 1 yours. I remember.

Speaker 1 I woke up this, I wake up every morning thinking about it. And my wife is like, what happened? Is it the Wilbury's?

Speaker 1 Is it the M Scott Wilbury's bed? And I'm like, it is, it is. And she's like, you're not there anymore.
It's over. It's over.
You're safe. You're with me.
And we get a cold cloth and we,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 it's so long. And so, but what I remember about that moment is you, a lot of other people would have bailed.
And you clearly were like, no, I made my bed and I'm seeing this through to the end.

Speaker 1 And I think at the end, you say something like, and that is why.

Speaker 1 People can look it up now, which is the beauty.

Speaker 1 No. No.
Because after the show, I remember talking to Andy backstage and being like, how could I have thought that was something?

Speaker 1 That was nothing. And we begged you guys not to air it.
And I think the reaction was like, oh, please, can we?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Of course we're not going to air that. So I don't think it airs.
It exists somewhere and I've got to find it.

Speaker 2 Did you help him out at all or were you just standing, sitting there just watching?

Speaker 1 I think I tried.

Speaker 1 I do have the reputation of trying to help. I know.

Speaker 2 That's why I'm asking you.

Speaker 1 But at a certain point, I saw... nine sharks chomping away at Adam Scott and blood just and gore filling the water and I decided to get back on the boat.
That sounds like you.

Speaker 1 I removed my foot from the water and got into the boat. And then, because I saw, like, he's lost too much.
It's, it's, it's over, you know.

Speaker 1 I had no legs. Like, what are you going to do? I can't swim with you to the boat.

Speaker 1 At the end of the episode, we did cut it out, but at the end of the episode, you went from telling a good story to just being ahead. That's right.
Just floating back. Where are you going?

Speaker 1 A head sitting on a chair. I still haven't done Roy Orbison.

Speaker 1 We never did get to Roy Orbison.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 you know why it's funny now? Because it's funny now because

Speaker 1 you're just, you could not, things could not be going better for you. And

Speaker 1 you're in this show

Speaker 1 where you

Speaker 1 get to,

Speaker 1 in every way, show the power you have and the range you have. And yes, they could have found someone else to do it.
And I think I could have done it.

Speaker 1 That much is clear. I think that's, if you take one thing from this episode, is I know how to have my face change a little bit in an elevator.
I've done it before.

Speaker 1 And they wouldn't need special effects. I can just do it.

Speaker 1 And that saves $600. Well, we don't use special effects, but fine.
Yes, no, you can do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know you guys do something.

Speaker 1 No, I just couldn't be happier for you because you're just a great guy and you deserve all this. Well, it means so much.
So thank you very much.

Speaker 1 You have incredible taste, obviously. And that just

Speaker 1 look around you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, look at these people.

Speaker 1 Gorgeous and hilarious.

Speaker 1 I know you're a busy guy, and thank you so much for being here. And

Speaker 1 let's break bread someday soon. And we'll get, you know what I want? I want to get Bill Burr involved.
And you and I both go at him about chips. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I promise you, he hasn't seen it since 1987. There's no way.

Speaker 1 He's just saying he loves chips.

Speaker 1 All right. Take care.
All right. Thanks, everybody.

Speaker 1 We don't talk enough about the unsung heroes of our show. You know, people know they're Matt Gorley.
They know they're Sonoma Obsession. They certainly know they're Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 1 But I'm talking about the invisible co-hosts. Our furniture.
Oh, yeah. I've done some shows in Uncomfortable Furniture.
Yeah. Terrible.
You can tell the whole time that I'm in agony.

Speaker 1 That's why when Ashley offered to sponsor the Live Live from LA event and said that Sona could choose the on-stage furniture, we jumped at the chance. Yeah.
How did you do it?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I am doing interior decorating now. I designed Blaise's place.
I designed my parents' place. You do have good taste.
So I was just like, hey, I want to do this.

Speaker 2 And it was surprising that no one said I couldn't. So I just choose whatever sofas I wanted, whatever chairs I wanted, rugs, cute little side tables.
Great.

Speaker 1 You used Tallora chairs and love seats.

Speaker 2 Yes, I did.

Speaker 1 And I was very comfortable throughout the entire show.

Speaker 2 So was I. I mean, didn't you want to take a nap?

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 In fact, I did during parts of Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends to bring your personal look home, whether you're redecorating a single space or refurbishing every room.

Speaker 1 Plus, Ashley provides fast, reliable, white glove delivery right to your door. So start your home's transformation with styles that are personal, expressive, and comfortably yours.

Speaker 1 Visit Ashley in store or online at Ashley.com to find your style.

Speaker 1 This is an ad by BetterHelp. It's that time of year, holidays are upon us.
I think it's a good idea to reach out to people.

Speaker 1 You know, we've talked about this. It's good to try and just keep in touch with friends, family.
As the seasons change, shorter days don't have to weigh you down.

Speaker 1 This season, BetterHelp encourages you to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind them that you're here. So it could help you.
It could help the person you're calling.

Speaker 1 You never know.

Speaker 1 Just like it takes just a little courage to send that text or grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can feel difficult too, but it can really be worth it.

Speaker 1 It can leave people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms. BetterHelp therapists are fully qualified.

Speaker 1 BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus. on your therapy goals.
And that's a huge deal. You don't have the burden of trying to figure out who's the right person for you.

Speaker 1 Really nice. They'll give it a shot.
And if it doesn't work, you can switch very easily. This month, don't wait to reach out.

Speaker 1 Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist, BetterHelp makes it easier to take the first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Conan.

Speaker 1 That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash Conan.

Speaker 1 Do you guys remember back in the early days of this podcast, we did a few drawing contests? I do. The ones where I won.
What? I won. Did you win both?

Speaker 2 We did at least two. No, I really lost both of them.

Speaker 1 Did you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, I went back and I found, you guys might remember this from your childhoods.
I think especially you will. Do you remember these advertisements? Yes.
Drawing contests? Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 They were on the back of, I think they were on the back of matchbooks. Yeah, and comic books.
And they were also, I think, TV commercials.

Speaker 1 And basically, you would draw one of these, send it in, and they would assess if you had any talent. And then you could take their trade school.
It was all a scam, basically. Was it a scam?

Speaker 1 I think it was. I think it was like the Barbizon modeling schools, you know, like they'll take anybody just to get the money out of them.

Speaker 1 There used to be these ads, speaking of scams on the back of comic books, that would say things akin to, if you clip this out and you include $1.50, we'll send you a hovercraft to your home.

Speaker 1 Definitely remember that. Or there was one that was a submarine, a working submarine.
So send us $1.50. And I always was curious, do you get something in the man? That's a good question.

Speaker 1 And what is it? And how could it be anything close to a submarine?

Speaker 1 I mean, I would love someone out there to find out what did you actually get in the late 60s and early 70s if you cut out the coupon that said you get a submarine. Wasn't it a kit, though?

Speaker 1 I thought it was like they send you a fan with a motor and then you have to build like an inner tube around it or something.

Speaker 1 Maybe, but still, I remember the price being absurdly low. Yeah.
And the drawing was very deceptive. It showed like basically a German U-boat prowling the North Atlantic.

Speaker 1 So I would love to know what did you get? I'm sure it would be very disappointing, but the fact that you got anything that might approximate the foundation of a submarine for $1.50?

Speaker 1 Our guys are on it. Let's do this drawing contest, and maybe by the end, we'll have an answer.
All right, what's the plan here?

Speaker 1 Okay, so you get to choose one, and I'm going to give you guys five minutes in real time. It'll be edited down by the time we listen.

Speaker 2 Do we each choose a different character?

Speaker 1 I guess you should choose separately. There's Tippy, who looks to be a tortoise in a turtleneck.
Well, that makes sense. Turtleneck sweater.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's cute.

Speaker 1 It's just a neck sweater. Right.

Speaker 1 Exactly. He just calls it, this is my sweater.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is my me sweater, my me-neck,

Speaker 1 as opposed to a v-neck. And then there's a pirate, clearly.
No idea why pirates always have an eye patch. That'll get worked out later on.
I can tell you. Oh, yeah, what's that?

Speaker 1 They always say it's because, oh, they lost an eye, but it's because they'd be below deck and they have to, when they're above deck in the sun and they have to go below deck, they don't need time to adjust their sight.

Speaker 1 So they open their eye patch and and they can see it very nice oh that's good to know and then there's uh tiny who is either now this is a little confusing could be a little kitten i think it's a mouse it's a mouse you're right it's a mouse because of the ears and he's wearing a party hat yeah they have both eyes what what the pirates have both eyes and they're both functioning yeah yes that is crazy yeah they wear the eye patch so that they can get

Speaker 1 why are you saying this like you knew it this whole time and also i don't even know if that's true i'm telling you, I heard it from a guy.

Speaker 1 I heard it from a guy not too long ago. Okay.
All right. Somebody pick a number between one and 10, Conan.
Oh, my God. Why does everything have to be complicated? Five.
Sona.

Speaker 2 Six.

Speaker 1 The number was four. So, Conan, you get to pick first.
Okay. Well, I guess there's no getting around it.
I'm going to be the pirate. Okay.
Sona, what would you like?

Speaker 2 I'll do Tippy, the turtle. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 Mine's going to be awful.

Speaker 1 Let's get to it. Ready? All right, let's do it.
Two, three, go.

Speaker 1 Five minutes. We'll make it three minutes.
You have three minutes. Okay.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's an abomination.

Speaker 1 Shut your stupid mouth.

Speaker 1 I can tell you're concentrating because your lips are moving. One minute has lapsed.
You have two minutes left.

Speaker 1 And you're actually done. So I don't know if I got the time right on this.

Speaker 1 So bad. You're not giving us a lot of time for this.
I'll have to pay that much. It's the pressure.

Speaker 1 How much time do I have left? You got plenty of time.

Speaker 1 Good, because I need more time.

Speaker 1 We're going to knock a minute off. You've got 30 seconds.
No, no, don't do that. Don't do that.

Speaker 2 Don't do that. I'm almost done.
That's not.

Speaker 1 I want it to be somewhat. Oh, yeah.
This has got to be above board. No, I want it to be somewhat decent.
I take some pride in my drawing.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 2 I'm okay with it being done now.

Speaker 1 But keep in mind, it's not just technical ability.

Speaker 1 It's that certain extra.

Speaker 1 It's life. The genesis It's the genesisquai.
Sona, you could take it on just having more life.

Speaker 1 You know, Jackson Pollock, he did his paintings. It was about the experience, not the result.
Yeah, he died in a drunk drive and crashed.

Speaker 2 Look at Tippy's head is real flat.

Speaker 1 Matt, why aren't you drawing?

Speaker 1 I just didn't. I assumed it was down to them.
Alright, I'll get in there. No, no, no.
Well, it's too late. Yeah, we're not wasting for that shit.

Speaker 2 These aren't the pens I like using.

Speaker 1 It's the pens' fault, huh?

Speaker 2 I'll sign mine.

Speaker 1 Don't have an obsession.

Speaker 1 She's done. Why is everything a she?

Speaker 2 Just give me the money.

Speaker 1 Giving you a jacket. You don't deserve any more than that.
I can't believe that jacket went up. I can't believe the fire didn't recoil when it saw the

Speaker 1 fire would recoil. Nah, let's get out of here, guys.
That thing's ugly. Three, two.

Speaker 1 Hold it. One.
Ugh.

Speaker 1 All right, what do we do? We show our. Yeah, put them in the center here.
And then Adam, Eduardo, Blais, give two

Speaker 2 to kill. I think you guys should give some points for speed because

Speaker 2 I did mine really fast.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll just say I did mine in like a quarter of the time of anybody else. If we're doing speed.

Speaker 2 You go and you illustrate with your mom.

Speaker 1 Kim, you pass this.

Speaker 2 Mine's also the biggest.

Speaker 1 Now, is this American Idol style where we each go through and say what we thought of each one? Or do you have a bunch of different things? Yeah, but make it brief because we don't have a lot of time.

Speaker 1 Make it brief. Okay.
Yeah. Adam, you want to start? Yeah.
I think the pirate is fantastic, actually. It's really accurate.
Nose is maybe a bit off, but otherwise, it's really pretty good.

Speaker 1 I like to improve people as I go. Pirate looks like Randy Machaman Savage.

Speaker 1 It does. That's who I was drawing.

Speaker 1 A little small for my liking

Speaker 1 ratio to the page here,

Speaker 1 but otherwise, very well. I like that.

Speaker 1 You're a firm judge. Yeah.
I think this is fantastic. I think the earring is a little too prominent here, but otherwise,

Speaker 1 otherwise, great. You know,

Speaker 1 it evokes the same emotion I feel when I look at the original drawing of the pirate. And that isn't that what art's all about? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The turtle, Sona, that's you. I actually, I love the scale.
Things went awry with the eye area,

Speaker 1 but I actually liked it. I think it's more interpretive, which I like.
You're not just trying to do

Speaker 1 a perfect facsimile. It's a nice interpretation, and I like it.
I think it's,

Speaker 1 I think my true, I'm like a forger. I'm trying to pass this off, you know, as a forgery.
I really like this one here. I feel like I want to color it in.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So I really appreciate it. Yeah.
It's, I would be proud to put this on a refrigerator.

Speaker 1 You know, so yeah. It's going your way.
I know. I agree.
Simple, clean lines, excellent execution. I think it's fantastic.
Also, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Was the pirate signed? Was there a signature on that one? No. No signature.
Although signature here. So the artist clearly stands behind their work.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The artist stands behind their work.
Well, also, I was copying something else. I didn't want to get the reputation of someone who steals, so I didn't want to do it.

Speaker 1 The original artist, whoever they are, it's really their work, and I give it up for them.

Speaker 2 This is Mippy, my turtle. He's different than Tippy.

Speaker 1 I think you've got Tipsy, the turtle. All right.
And then the mouse.

Speaker 1 I would say, Matt. You get credit because you were handicapped with time.
You rushed it. And considering the rush, it's really, really nice.

Speaker 1 It looks a little stretched, I would say, like it's kind of like horizontally stretched. Yeah, it looks like it was put on a projector at a different angle.
It's true. Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 It's just this tiny has a really large brain. Right.
Yeah. But really, really good, especially considering how quickly you did it.
I mean, I don't know. They're all very different.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you choose a winner. Who's the winner? He's already angling for defeat.
No, no, no, not. Not.
I mean, I know who the winner should be.

Speaker 1 I'm just impressed with how quickly you did this.

Speaker 1 This was like 60 seconds worth of

Speaker 1 drawing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like it. It's not crazy.
Can you believe he rendered a mount of the hatch in 60 seconds? Honestly. Never in the annals of man.

Speaker 1 Less time.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. Effortless lines has a

Speaker 1 point on it. So he gets points for forgetting to do the assignments.
Well, I didn't think I was going to do it. I was just giving it away.
All right, well, I don't think that should factor in.

Speaker 1 If I enter a marathon late, you know what I mean, and managed to get a a mile in, I don't think you guys would be, whoa! But I finished. He showed up late in a cab.
He finished.

Speaker 1 But I will say it does look a little squashed, but

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 a lot of personality.

Speaker 1 A lot of personality.

Speaker 1 Well, who's the. So now we have to go to the next one.

Speaker 1 Can we just leave it up to the fans to vote? I guess the fans want to do it like that. I just put it on social media.
Okay. Why don't we put it on Instagram?

Speaker 1 Social media. Go to Team Cocoa Podcast

Speaker 1 on Instagram. And are we still on the vast hellscape of Twitter X? Let's just send people to Instagram.

Speaker 1 Let's do that. Yeah, that's good.
All right. We'll see what happens.
This is pretty exciting. It wouldn't be a drawing contest without abject hatred for the game.

Speaker 1 Oh, I did find the submarine just for. Oh, good, good, good.
Let's see it. I want to see this.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 $6.98. $6.98.
And it says fires, rockets, and torpedoes over seven feet long, big enough for two kids.

Speaker 1 Now, that's what they're showing. Now, when I was a kid, I lost my shit over this thing.
I was like, wait a minute, this is incredible. And I want to know what was the company?

Speaker 1 Did anyone in America purchase this thing? And what did you, in fact, get? Because down on the side, they're showing people inside the cockpit of this thing.

Speaker 1 And it says over seven feet long, seats, two kids, controls that work.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, I think I've got to go to the house.

Speaker 1 Real Periscope, Fire Terra Scope. See what the hovercraft? It's a manual on how to build it, if I'm not mistaken.
And there's somewhere in the forest. You know what? We need to find out.

Speaker 1 We need to find out because this is, this haunted my childhood. This is up there with the Uncle Sam Halloween mask.
I must find out. Someone please out there, the Polaris nuclear sub for $6.98.

Speaker 1 Plus 75 cents shipping charges. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got to find out more about this. Okay, to be continued.
All right.

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Session, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Fross, and Nick Liao.

Speaker 1 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 1 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Speaker 1 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

Speaker 1 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

Speaker 1 It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/slash Conan.

Speaker 1 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Speaker 1 Hey, Fidelity.

Speaker 1 How can I remember to invest every month?

Speaker 3 With the Fidelity app, you can choose a schedule and set up recurring investments in stocks and ETFs.

Speaker 1 Huh, that sounds easier than I thought.

Speaker 3 You got this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do. Now, where did I put my keys?

Speaker 3 You will find them where you left them.

Speaker 1 Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC member NYSE SIPC.

Speaker 1 Traveling is better with T-Mobile with coverage and perks you won't find just anywhere. Like free in-flight Wi-Fi and up to 40% off select hotels.

Speaker 1 And when you land, you've got unlimited texting and data in over 215 countries and destinations. It's better over here.
See how at t-mobile.com slash travel.

Speaker 1 Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S.
flights and airlines unlimited at up to 256 kilobits per second. See Tmobile.com for details.