Kevin Nealon Returns Again

Speaker 1 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st. Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Sebastian's newest special features his larger-than-life presence, one-of-a-kind physical comedy, and hilarious everyday observations that will keep you laughing non-stop.

Speaker 1 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 When you're saving up for the things you really want, you got to make smart choices.

Speaker 2 You know, the other night I cooked dinner and sort of ordering takeout for the sixth time in a week, and there were a lot of choices involved. Do I have paprika? Do I have enough onions?

Speaker 2 You know, is caramel going to go in this? Oh, God. The State Farm Personal Price Plan is another smart choice you can make.

Speaker 2 It can help you create an affordable price when you choose to bundle home and auto insurance. Says JFK, it's made for you by you.

Speaker 2 Talk to a state farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Speaker 2 Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer.
Availability, amounts of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

Speaker 2 Hi, my name is Kevin Nealon,

Speaker 2 and I feel absolutely duped about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Speaker 2 Terrible thing to say.

Speaker 2 Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. It's me, Colonel O'Brien, joined by Sonoma Obsession

Speaker 2 and, of course, Matt Gourley. How are you?

Speaker 2 Both. Sona? Well,

Speaker 2 we're good. Good.
Good. Wow.
We can't even do that part. If we can't do that part, what does that say for the rest of the show?

Speaker 2 Well, this show in particular is going to be falling right in line with that. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 2 Given who's on. Yes.
What have you been up to lately? Where have you been? You just came back and you look snow-kissed.

Speaker 2 Raining. That's right.

Speaker 2 I was molested by a snowman.

Speaker 2 I just did a quick, very quick 24-hour trip to Utah because I participated in the Sundance Film Festival. Never did that before.
That's cool. Because you're in a movie.
I'm in a movie.

Speaker 2 I think it was... maybe two years ago, I was approached by this very talented writer-director named Mary Bronstein, and she had a script called If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You.

Speaker 2 And it's a very different movie. And I read the script and I thought, wow, this is very powerful, very cool.
And

Speaker 2 my part is not necessarily comedic per se. So you're acting.
You're not doing a cameo as Conan O'Brien. No, I'm not Conan O'Brien.
No, I'm.

Speaker 2 And so I was,

Speaker 2 I honestly,

Speaker 2 I think I tried to talk her out of it. It's an A24 film.

Speaker 2 It's

Speaker 2 very prestigious, I think. It's coming from this great company.
And Rose Byrne, who I absolutely adore, is the star. She carries the picture, as they would say back in the day.

Speaker 2 And it was a fascinating process to do it. Mary did an incredible job.
I had not seen the movie, so I flew in with David Hopping and

Speaker 2 was walking through Park City, Utah. It's this whole thing.
I mean, the streets are just clogged with people and film fans, and I guess people knew I was coming.

Speaker 2 So I've never seen so many people with parkas that had Simpson stills of me with Bart, you know, those to sign, those guys, but and little knickknacks and things to sign, and a pimp bot t-shirt.

Speaker 2 I mean, I just pictured them coming over mountain passes with

Speaker 2 Conan paraphernalia, but they were all very nice.

Speaker 2 So that was strange. And then to go in and do a red carpet and then go into the theater and sit down and watch the movie start.
I have two questions that are the same question. Okay.

Speaker 2 Were you nervous to do serious acting? And then were you nervous to watch yourself do serious acting?

Speaker 2 I was

Speaker 2 certainly nervous to do it. And then I had a weird detachment.
It's very different from anything I've done before. So, you know, everything I do is comedy, just everything.

Speaker 2 So, you know, because if you're watching it with an audience or if I'm performing it in front of an audience, the laughter is what tells you how it's going. This is not one of those experiences.

Speaker 2 People weren't sobbing audibly. I was.
Okay. Just because of my eye vein was so giant.
Oh, geez. No,

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 think I was nervous and I took it really seriously. And I didn't want to, I mean, I'm working with Rose Byrne and she absolutely kills it in this movie.

Speaker 2 She's She's spectacular, and the reviews that she's had are amazing. What do you play? What's your character? I'm a therapist.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't want to say, I don't want to say too much, but I'm a therapist for her character who's going through a lot of distress. And I was very detached from seeing myself.

Speaker 2 I just thought, oh, there's, I don't know, that guy.

Speaker 3 Are you method?

Speaker 2 No, I am not method. But I mean, I just, I wasn't, I don't know.
I don't, I, I felt a little detached from seeing myself. I, I, I, I wasn't as interested in seeing myself as I was in what

Speaker 2 Rose Byrne is so riveting in this role. And I know I'm biased because I'm in the movie, but then all these reviews came out that really shone a light on her performance, which made me very happy.

Speaker 2 Well, when can we, the general public, see this movie? That's a really good question. I think probably sometime maybe this spring.
I don't know. And the thing is, this is also alien to me.

Speaker 2 So I don't know anything about the movie business. I've never aspired to be an actor.
That was never a dream of mine. Yeah, why did she think of you?

Speaker 3 Why did she think of you?

Speaker 2 It's a she, I mean, Mary Bronstein, maybe

Speaker 2 when the movie comes out, she could come and talk about it.

Speaker 3 I don't want to be insulting to you. It's just you don't.

Speaker 2 You just were.

Speaker 2 But you're also right.

Speaker 2 It's the exact right question.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 I was glad that the consensus is that I don't get in the way. You know, the consensus is that.
I'm sure it's better than that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I'm really proud of what Mary Bronstein pulled off and just blown away by Rose Byrne, who could not be more humble. At one point,

Speaker 2 she excused herself and like climbed over some furniture because there was a, you know, everyone was having drinks afterwards, all these A24 people and film people.

Speaker 2 She was like, oh, sorry, sorry, excuse me. Oh, pardon me.
You know, and she, and I was watching her and she's so humble and just hope I'm not bothering anyone.

Speaker 2 And, you know, she's very beautiful and then just, I think, top, top-tier actor, just incredible ability.

Speaker 2 And she walked away and I said to Mary, the thing I love about her the most is that she doesn't know she's Rose Byrne. Like

Speaker 2 no,

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 sense of entitlement. No, I mean,

Speaker 2 no sense that, and when I, I mean, when you try and compliment compliment her, ah, come on, mate, you know.

Speaker 3 Is that your Australian accent?

Speaker 2 But anyway,

Speaker 2 she,

Speaker 2 I, I looking forward to people seeing the film and, and, uh, watch Shami. I'll, I'll be in there a little bit.
Yeah, exactly. That's so cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's cool you went to Sundance.

Speaker 2 You know, I have to say, I've done two things in the space of about six months that were both unusual experiences.

Speaker 2 And this is the part of my career that I'm really enjoying, which is just trying things. And

Speaker 2 there was this movie that I shot that's just coming out now. But after, but about six months ago or seven months ago,

Speaker 2 I did

Speaker 2 the Newport Folk Festival and played music and headlined it with a bunch of musicians and had one of the great experiences in my life.

Speaker 2 And so just getting to do a few of these things that are completely outside my comfort zone are really fun.

Speaker 2 And my tryouts for the NBA. Oh, no, you're not going to be able to do it.
You're an inspiration. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 The Spurs are looking for

Speaker 2 a six-foot, four-inch water boy.

Speaker 2 Well, I think I could do it. I'd be a real good water boy.

Speaker 2 Well, this will be interesting. My guest today, he and I have, I don't know what you'd call our chemistry.

Speaker 2 Well, I like that this intro was kind of like measured and straightforward because what you're about to hear

Speaker 2 doesn't just go off the deep end. It presumes there's even a bottom to the yes, yes.

Speaker 2 This gentleman and I, when we get together, I don't know what you'd call it. It might be lethal.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 But he's a hilarious comedian. He's a very good friend of mine.

Speaker 2 I adore him.

Speaker 2 I met him when he was a cast member on Saturday Night Live. He started in the Showtime series Weeds.
He has a

Speaker 2 show called Hiking with Kevin, which I've done, which is really fun. And I think that's coming to Fox Nation.

Speaker 2 And our conversations are unique.

Speaker 2 So I'm excited he's here. Kevin Nealon, welcome.

Speaker 2 I respect you. I revere you.
You're easily one of the funniest people I've ever known. I met you back in 1988.

Speaker 2 First of all, do you like to be referred to as Conan or Team Coco or Coco? I mean, how many names? Do you have licenses for all those? I do. They're all licensed.

Speaker 2 Conan, the name Conan I licensed in 1967. What about COB? COB, I've got that too.
Capital letters. Yeah.
I'm sorry, you were saying them about me?

Speaker 2 I said that you were a time waster.

Speaker 2 In 88, 1988. In 1988, I met you at Saturday Night Live.
You were my favorite of the performers then. Still.

Speaker 2 Then.

Speaker 2 Subsequent work has proven to be a bit of a disappointment.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I love you. I'm going to look you in the eye and tell you that I love you as a friend, as a tormentor.
I love you.

Speaker 2 And I love having you on the podcast because you bring out a different side of me, an angry side from any side. You are looking at me because I see for once your eyes are blue.

Speaker 2 And I've never known that before. Because we don't look at each other.

Speaker 2 I'm looking at you right now. Yeah, well, you're blinking a lot.

Speaker 2 I'm sending us to the side. I'm sending SOS to Sona.
I'm sending us Jenny out of here.

Speaker 2 You really, you're very blinky today. I don't know what's going on.
I do tend to blink a lot. Yeah.
I watch myself sometimes in TV shows. Yeah.
And I find myself blinking a lot.

Speaker 2 So you watch your appearances on TV shows a lot. I can't help it.

Speaker 2 They're that good. I can't help it.
I'm

Speaker 2 that good. I am good, actually, except for the blinking.

Speaker 2 So listen to me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's get down to it. You know what? I've been hoping we would get down to it.
And this is the same thing.

Speaker 2 Let me just tell you something about how you've kind of come into my life a lot unexpectedly and not

Speaker 2 so whenever I'm about to see you, I always

Speaker 2 second guess what I'm wearing because you

Speaker 2 commented once when I wore, do you know what I'm talking about? No.

Speaker 2 I was at your house or I met you for lunch or something and I had a sweater on, a V-neck sweater with no t-shirt.

Speaker 2 Which was a mistake. You were so annoyed.
I was annoyed because I saw like a big V part of your chest.

Speaker 2 That's called a body.

Speaker 2 Well, then we got a problem.

Speaker 2 Houston, we got a problem. Is that funny? Remember that movie?

Speaker 2 Do you watch a lot of space movies? I do. Let's not get up on that cul-de-sac.
Let's stick to your chest.

Speaker 2 It bothered me. You didn't even see it.
And everyone knows you wear a t-shirt and then you put a light sweater over it. No.
Especially when you're a certain amount of money.

Speaker 3 I actually things.

Speaker 2 That's it can go either way. But what about when you're a certain vintage? I looked you up online.
You were born March 3rd, 1931. Now you're way off.
And

Speaker 2 you were a very important part of the Truman administration. No one wants to see you.

Speaker 2 Here's what I don't like about the way you dress. May I? Oh, yeah.
You wear those thin t-shirts, so your nipples are popping out.

Speaker 2 And nobody wants to see you. I need cocoa nipples.
I need people.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? I want people to know that I'm a sexual being. How are they going to know that? They're going to see my nipples.

Speaker 2 If they see my nipples, they'll... Let me ask you this.

Speaker 2 Do you have a favorite when it comes to your nipples?

Speaker 2 Do you like one over the other?

Speaker 2 I'm going to say I like the left one.

Speaker 2 Now listen to me. Mike says.
Why do you keep

Speaker 2 it? You're seeing my podcast. You have the microphone.
And you keep saying, now listen to me. Because you interrupt me every time I try to talk.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 go ahead it's all the floor is yours senator go ahead when you're finished I'll continue what I was saying I'm done okay

Speaker 2 let's go back to the v-neck Sona has a v-neck on and

Speaker 2 I don't even have any cleavage and I'm not hiding anything I mean if you take care of your body maybe you know this if you take care of your body you're not afraid to show some you know masculinity well I don't

Speaker 2 what's a t what if I wore a v-neck t-shirt under the v-neck sweater does that count no it doesn't actually it doesn't That's called layering. I don't want to see.

Speaker 2 I didn't, I just, I wasn't prepared. And we were eating food.
And I, I was looking down at my chicken that had the skin on it and then looking at that part of your chest.

Speaker 2 And I kept looking from the skin of the chicken to your chest and it was freaking me out a little bit. Do you require a chicken to wear a v-neck sweater? Or a

Speaker 2 t-shirt under the sweater. Even you know that you've gone too far.

Speaker 2 I got to wrap this up, man. I got to wrap it up.
We're not going to wrap it up. We're not going to wrap it up.
Oh, time for a little siparoo.

Speaker 2 I love when you take a sip because it means you're not talking. You don't have a straw, do you? No, not for you.
We did that last time.

Speaker 2 Oh, we did. I think you.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 So, how are you?

Speaker 2 Thank you. How are you? I

Speaker 2 haven't seen you in a little while, and I really do enjoy my time. We trade texts fairly often,

Speaker 2 but I really treasure when I see you because, as I say, it's an old friendship, and I think we have a certain something, we have a certain spark that excites America. That's it.

Speaker 2 That's all I got to say. No, I thought there'll be more, but okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we do. I agree with you.
We have a close bond and we tease each other a lot. But I think we have

Speaker 2 a really close friendship. Why'd you cover your mouth when you said that?

Speaker 2 I scratched my upper lip. Hell, no one does that.
You're so defensive and so insecure about everything. And I don't think anybody will argue that point with me.

Speaker 2 I am now about the nipple thing. I'm never wearing those shirts again.
Did you ever know anybody that had a third nipple? No, I saw it once in a movie. It said James Bond.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the man with the golden gun. Yeah.
The golden nipple, did you say?

Speaker 2 The extra golden nipple. What's the name of the guy, Scalamanga? Scaramanga.
As played by

Speaker 2 Christopher Lee. Yeah.
I worked with someone once who had a tail, believe it or not. What? I'm not kidding around, a tail.
That's not true. I swear to you.

Speaker 2 I mean, when you say a tail, what do you mean? You mean they had

Speaker 2 the cock six, the bone, the tailbone was extended. It was like a Dobrim pincher tail.
What? Oh, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 I don't believe that's

Speaker 2 It kind of looked like that.

Speaker 2 Oh, great. Well, that'll help on a podcast.
Wait.

Speaker 2 Oh. And this is, this is, so you don't get it wrong.

Speaker 2 That's the butt. It's more like that.
What are you doing? What are you talking about? You did not. You did not.
It's a tale.

Speaker 2 First of all, a terrible drawing from actually a very talented artist. That's the worst thing you've ever drawn.
My book is out now called I Exaggerate, My Brushes with Fame. Yes.

Speaker 2 A lot of caricature paintings that I do. None of you in there.
You're a friend. You're a friend.
I guess what?

Speaker 2 all of them of and i think i'm readily caricatured with my hair my jawline there's so many things to have fun with and you didn't do one of my i am so done with this topic right now okay

Speaker 2 no come on let's just talk can we talk as two adults for a change let's do that can you let's do that

Speaker 2 sona you stay out of this i don't know why she's in here i don't know why you need a backup like sona i come in here with nobody and you've got all these people like your posse this is my whack pack right here

Speaker 2 This is my whack pack. So I almost saw you at Sundance the other day.
Yeah, I was at Sundance helping to promote a film that I

Speaker 2 hear. It's called If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You.
It's written and directed. What's the movie called?

Speaker 2 Incredible. Incredible.

Speaker 2 It stars the beautiful and very talented Rose Byrne, and it was a very fun experience. And then you texted me that you were there,

Speaker 2 but I was leaving town

Speaker 2 after I got your text.

Speaker 2 You were there for only like a couple hours, right? Seriously, yeah, I was, yeah. Geez, you had the car running.

Speaker 2 I went. I'm very busy right now.
I've got a lot of

Speaker 2 irons in the fire, a lot of pots of stew cooking at the same time. Do you have other projects going besides this podcast?

Speaker 2 Yes, I'm hosting the Oscars.

Speaker 2 Oh, by the way, congratulations. I think I already texted you about that.
Yeah, you said either it will, you said, this is a quote, it will either go well or it will go badly.

Speaker 2 Both are distinct possibilities.

Speaker 2 That's a quote.

Speaker 2 That's a quote. It is true.
That is, it's true. It is absolutely true.
And I read that aloud.

Speaker 2 I was laughing so hard because when someone, you're very talented at this, you get on the knife's edge of absolute truth. So I'm talking to you and you were saying, how's it going?

Speaker 2 I'm like, you know, I'm working on this Oscars thing, but the mood in this town keeps changing. There's a lot happening.
I'm worried about how it's going to go.

Speaker 2 And you wrote back, most people would say, oh, you'll be fine. You're a funny guy.
You'll figure it out. You wrote back, it will go well or it will go badly, period.
Both are distinct possibilities.

Speaker 2 And true. Yeah.
And true. It was very true.
Because I know what you think, how you think it's going to go because I know you so well. Oh, yeah.
And how's that? You tell me. No.

Speaker 2 It's going to go. You think it's going to go horrible.
No, I don't think it's going to go horrible. I think it's going to go horribly.
Horribly. Because

Speaker 2 I actually finished school.

Speaker 2 Kevin, I love you. I really do.
But I wish you were educated. I wish you were hard.

Speaker 2 No, I'm horribly. You're horribly.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, thanks for asking me. The movie I'm executive producing

Speaker 2 at Sundance. Yeah, yeah.
Tell me about that. What's it called? What's it called? It's called Come See Me in the Good Light.

Speaker 2 It's a story, Conan, about these two lovers, poets.

Speaker 2 Oh, and you're executive products.

Speaker 2 Okay, go ahead and say what you're saying, then I'll continue. I just love that you're executive producing something about real emotions and passion.

Speaker 2 It's just funny. It's like how do you know it's real emotions?

Speaker 2 It's like if it's a laser printer wrote a love poem.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. You don't have a sincere phone in your pocket.
You're an executive producing a love story. I can't wait to see it.
Blip, blip, bloop, bloop.

Speaker 2 What's the name of your phone, by the way? If I had legs, I'd kick you. Oh, yeah, that's right up your alley.
That is so you right there.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Anyway, tell us about go, go, go, go. I'll be good.

Speaker 2 What's the name of the movie, the dock?

Speaker 2 It's called There Was a Time and She Was There. Okay, I'm going to tell it to you again.
Try to listen this time. Pay attention.
Okay.

Speaker 2 What is the name of your movie? It's called Come See Me in the Good Light. Come See Me in the Good Light.
Beautiful. Are you writing this down? Yep.
Come See Me in the Good Light.

Speaker 2 It's a love story about these two poets, and one of them is diagnosed with an incurable illness. Okay.
And it's pretty much the exploration of their life, their love, their

Speaker 2 mortality, and life's moments. And once you see it, it'll kind of change your life.
Okay. Maybe not your life, because you don't have one bone of

Speaker 2 love or

Speaker 2 mortality. That's not true.
That's a life of moments. That's not true.
I'm excited for this project, and I'm going to repeat the title.

Speaker 2 Come See Me in the Middle East. In the Good Light.
That's right. It's about Andrea Gibson, the poet.
I figured. And her lover, Megan Falley.
And it's directed by Ryan White. Okay.

Speaker 2 Reduced by Jessica Jessica Hargrave. And Tig Nataro.
Oh, I love Tig Nataro. See, I knew that.
You brought up

Speaker 2 someone I really love Tig. Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 2 As executive, but as I said, I'd like you to ask me a question. As executive producer, what did you do with this powerful and it sounds like a very powerful, tragic love story?

Speaker 2 What did you do with it? It's tragic. It's uplifting.
Oh, okay. You're right.
They probably gave you a note. Don't say tragic.
No, no, no notes. No notes.
I'm the one giving out the notes.

Speaker 2 But what do you do as executive producer? Well, I invest in it. I support it.
I come on podcasts. This is your month that I have

Speaker 2 a viewer that is

Speaker 2 open-minded and listens. Yeah, I did put my money into it along with my wife, Susan.

Speaker 2 Susan's great.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? I'm looking at two pages. Is that anything to do with a podcast or is that your two pages? It says, Kevin Nealon, 2025 podcast research.

Speaker 2 There is not one mention in here of your movie. And yet you're here now promoting something that is not mentioned in your research.

Speaker 2 I find that either a huge failing on our part or negligence on your part. Who's the guilty party? B.
It's B. So you didn't have to.
I have nothing to do with it.

Speaker 2 No, I don't. Does this movie even exist? No, I'm just, I needed something to talk about when I came here.
So I saw some of the films that were playing at Sundance. No, I'm all over that thing.

Speaker 2 I invested in it. Okay.
And then without that, it wouldn't have gotten made. unless you invested in it.
But no, you went with the kicking with the legs thing. My legs are kicking.

Speaker 2 I didn't put a dime into it.

Speaker 2 What is the name of your character in this so-called movie? Chip Chutley. Chip Chutley.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I never thought there'd be a name worse than Conan O'Brien. And now you just told it to me.

Speaker 2 What you said reminded me of a story. I don't think I've told this story, but once I'm interviewing John Lovitz, John Lovitz, your compatriot on the on Star Night Live.

Speaker 2 And he was promoting a comedy club. Remember when John Lovitz had a comedy club here in

Speaker 2 City Walk. On City Walk.
Yeah. And it used to be B.B.
Kings. Yeah.
And then he turned it into a comedy club and it had like a tropical theme. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But John Levitz had this comedy club and he, in the first,

Speaker 2 he had two segments. In the first segment, he was like, it's a great comedy club, Conan, and everyone's got to check it out.
It's,

Speaker 2 you got to see it. It's gangbusters.
And he was going on and on about the comedy club.

Speaker 2 And then we went to commercial and the band's playing, but he leaned over and he went, no one's coming to the club. You got to, you got to invest.

Speaker 2 He said that during the commercial break. And I'm like, what? And he went, no, would you want to come in on it? I mean, we're sort of treading water right now, but we're going down.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, what? Really? And he was like, come on.

Speaker 2 And I said, well, I have to talk to my accountant. And then he was like, well, I talked to your accountant.
You got to come in fast because I don't know how long we can hang on for.

Speaker 2 And then just then I get the signal. I went, hey, we're back.

Speaker 2 And he went, oh, I got to tell you, it's going gangbusters.

Speaker 2 Was this back in the 40s? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I swear to God, that really happened. And every now and then, something happens.
It's a Larry Sanders moment.

Speaker 2 Colonel Brian Needs a Friend is brought to you by Airbnb. I've taken a few trips in the past where I got a place through Airbnb.
I've mentioned this before, lovely experience.

Speaker 2 I think I'm going to do it again. I love it.
It makes me feel so comfortable when I'm in a home that I get on Airbnb. Well, you've done this a lot, haven't you, Blay? I have.

Speaker 2 And actually, Eduardo and I tomorrow are going to Austin, and I'm trying to get him to stay with me in a house that I got on Airbnb. I don't know about sharing a spot with you.
Well, he's very loud.

Speaker 2 He's very loud, and he always has to bring his figurines with him.

Speaker 2 They're emotional support figurines. Yeah.
Yeah, but the great thing about getting a place through Airbnb, and I've done this in several cities, I like just feeling like, okay, this is my own space.

Speaker 2 I can do my thing. You're traveling.
Why not enjoy it? Yeah. Well, thank you.
Yeah, you're right. It's so nice of you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Eduardo, don't go with him.

Speaker 2 The other thing, and this would be a cool little detail for both of you, is if you're not using your place, you could list that on Airbnb. It's true.
It's a terrific way to make some money.

Speaker 2 It's a terrific way to travel. So your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how much at airbnb.com/slash host.

Speaker 2 You know me, I love to travel. You love to do it.
Travel the world. I do it

Speaker 2 professionally for my travel show, but I also just like to, sometimes with my wife, go and visit a foreign land and try their different cuisines.

Speaker 2 Enjoy the world. Travel is just better with D-Mobile.
You will not believe what members get on their best plans. They get amazing travel benefits, like free in-flight Wi-Fi.

Speaker 2 I use my Wi-Fi a lot when I'm on a plane. Me too.
And that free in-flight Wi-Fi sounds good to me. A free year of AAA

Speaker 2 data and texting in over 215 countries and so many more. I don't have time to mention it.
I just don't have the time.

Speaker 3 I didn't even know there were 215 countries.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's just, well,

Speaker 2 it's not sad. It's not even surprising.

Speaker 2 Anyway, all this just means it doesn't cost 50 bucks to tell your producer that you're lost somewhere in, I don't know, Madagascar, the Maldives, Mesopotamia, Miami.

Speaker 2 T-Mobile's benefits and perks take the stress out of travel. Let them save you from the boredom of long flights.
Plus, you can save with all the freebies and discounts.

Speaker 2 Check it out at t-mobile.com/slash travel.

Speaker 2 I was up half the night last night watching a World Series game. Yeah.
It was very exciting. I have to tell you,

Speaker 2 I don't care what your sport is, tailgates or watching parties or, you know, whatever. If you're watching High Lie,

Speaker 2 it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 It is Miller time. Miller Light is brewed with simple ingredients like malted barley for rich flavor and golden color.
It's a taste you can depend on because Miller time is always a good time.

Speaker 2 I'm out there throwing the pig skin around. I used to just throw pig skin.
Really? Chunks of pig skin. Wow.
I never had a football. Where would you find the pig? Oh, yeah.
I went to a farmer.

Speaker 2 Oh, good. Yeah.
And the pig had fallen into a shredder.

Speaker 2 Anyway, back to Miller Light.

Speaker 2 Just hawking pigskin around. I like to raise a Merrill Light in the air and celebrate a great pass,

Speaker 2 throwing chunks of pig skin around.

Speaker 2 One of those nail biters.

Speaker 2 Last night's game, incredible nail biter with the Dodgers. Incredible.
So anyway, Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Speaker 2 Go to MerrillLight.com slash Conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Merrill Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Speaker 2 And if they don't sell Merrill Light, turn to them and say, sir, you do not sell beer. It's Miller Time.

Speaker 2 Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 2 Tell me about yourself. I will if you stop.

Speaker 2 You're drawing. You're hoping it's a picture of you.
No, but it's not. I didn't think it was a picture of me.
This is a picture of you. Okay, no.

Speaker 2 No, go ahead. Just keep talking.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I enjoy talking to you. I never quite know what's going to happen.
I'm always handed research, but it doesn't seem to line up with anything we talk about.

Speaker 2 Who would have research for Kevin Nealon? You're promoting a movie that I don't know if it exists or not. Please step into the lights.

Speaker 2 By the way, I want to thank you for doing my hiking show, what, two or three times? Yeah. Hiking with Kevin?

Speaker 2 Now streaming on Fox Nation. Yeah, it's another thing that's not mentioned in the research.
I don't know what's going on. I don't know why there's research on you that

Speaker 2 you know what? I'm not all about boasting what I do. You like to have everything in print.
You like to direct everybody to what you're doing. Yeah, you do a podcast.
What did you draw?

Speaker 2 You said you were drawing me. I just started.
Oh.

Speaker 2 Are those testicles?

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? That's like you're burying the leaf. You got a dirty mind.
Oh, that's a dick. Yeah.
Oh, that's a dirty mind right there.

Speaker 2 Well, how is this me? How is this me in any way?

Speaker 2 Can I finish it? I'd rather you not finish it. No, I'll make it bigger.

Speaker 2 Just give it to me. I would like him to finish it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that's a portrait of old prick face Johnson. But anyway, keep going.

Speaker 2 You're, I don't know why we have you back. It's always.
I don't know why I come here.

Speaker 2 No, you got to go somewhere. So

Speaker 2 what were you going to say?

Speaker 2 No, seriously, I love comedy. Isn't it great? There's so many different facets to it and styles.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And somebody will will ask me once, they'll say, or a lot of times they'll say, do you think so-and-so is funny? You know who I'm talking about. And I'll say, well, it's subjective.

Speaker 2 You can't say somebody's not funny if they're bringing in people and people are laughing.

Speaker 2 I disagree. I think you can say someone's not funny.
To you, they're not funny.

Speaker 2 I just, I'm very,

Speaker 2 I'm very, if I think someone's really not funny, I think they're unfunny the way

Speaker 2 the way, you know,

Speaker 2 water is a liquid and a solid is something you can put your hand on.

Speaker 2 I'm just speaking for everybody. I think it's immutable when someone's really unfunny.

Speaker 2 And then I think there's a whole gray area, but there are some people that just know they're not funny and there's just nothing that can be done.

Speaker 2 So wouldn't it be nice if you would stand out in front of like a venue and people are coming in to see that person you don't think is funny and just warn them to say, you don't need to see this person.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't go in if I were you. It's a mistake.
It's a waste of time. I wouldn't do this.
I wouldn't go see this person. Trevor Burrus: But don't you see it's like objective? Don't you think that?

Speaker 2 Because what Sona thinks is funny, which is apparently everything you say. Yeah.

Speaker 2 She's given you a lot of good chuckles too. So I would

Speaker 2 love chuckling. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We call her a low bar of obsession.

Speaker 2 That's true. Sona, do you disagree with Conan about that statement?

Speaker 3 That I'm, I, no, I agree with him.

Speaker 2 That there are some people.

Speaker 3 I, no, I just, I, it's, I'm an easy laugher. But then I also, when I don't laugh, I think it stings even more probably.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 When you're not laughing, you know you've really uh yeah shit the bed well first of all you're both wrong oh okay it's um it's subjective okay it is subjective because I'll say something you know if you're going by this guideline like no this is not funny because you know this and that but someone's laughing you're pretty much telling them that they're they're idiots for laughing at that yeah I would say that to people if they were laughing at the wrong thing I'd say you're a bunch of fools what about drama

Speaker 2 what is what are you doing what are you doing this is valuable time do you know how the the

Speaker 2 show? A lot of people would give their left nut, which apparently you're drawing, to be on this podcast. And you come here and you diddle away the hour.

Speaker 2 Why? Why do you do it? Is it a... First of all, diddling is not a bad thing.
Diddling is like meditating. Yeah, that's true.
Have you ever meditated? I'm not good at it. I've tried, but I've...

Speaker 2 How can you not be bad at it? You fall out of the chair? What happens? No, I just, my mind wanders. It's constantly wandering.

Speaker 2 I get too restless. I got to keep moving.

Speaker 2 And then you're sitting there by yourself, you're not hearing any laughs, and then you start to wonder, am I even alive? And then you got to get out there and hear the chuckling.

Speaker 2 It's a security thing. Probably.

Speaker 2 If I don't hear the laughter, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 I get that.

Speaker 2 Do you do a lot of meditating? Because you seem. No, I diddle.

Speaker 2 I'm a diddler. Okay, well, that's.
Which also requires a chair.

Speaker 2 When you diddle. Okay.

Speaker 2 Can we please just talk about something that has some meaning? I'm doing the best I can. I'm sitting here.
I came all the way down here because apparently you couldn't get a guest

Speaker 2 we prize you as a guest you know that you're beloved on this show i think and and someone step in here but i believe one or two of your appearances are some of the most loved uh on the entire podcast

Speaker 2 i don't know what to do i'm scared um when you when i'm saying go ahead yeah no i uh the Your episodes always do great from here.

Speaker 2 And then the clips on YouTube and the clips on social media are some of our most popular, for sure. I'll have to start watching the show.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I'd love to see it. Hey, you ever think that, hey, I'm at the top of my game right now?

Speaker 2 I have moments where I think I'm in a flow state. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Where

Speaker 2 one moment's leading to the next.

Speaker 2 Today's not my day.

Speaker 2 I think you're having a rough time too. But you know what's going to happen? Never tell an audience they're getting a bad show.
Never. No, no.

Speaker 2 Rule number one. I say I'm at the top of my game.
You guys are really lucky tonight.

Speaker 2 What an asshole. Tomorrow.
Say that during Marshall. Of course I do.

Speaker 2 Because people don't know what's funny. Apparently, according to you.
No, no, no. Some people.
Some people don't know. Many people do.
But here's the other end to that.

Speaker 2 Do you ever think this is, if I died now, I'd have some great people coming to my funeral and making some great eulogies? Yes, I do think about that. Because if you live too long,

Speaker 2 there'll be less people. I've thought about this too.
And I'm not kidding. i've thought about if i went now and i hope i don't i hope it's like another week or two but

Speaker 2 you'd have there'd be a lot of funny people coming and there'd be some people being very funny um but if i stick around too long yeah that's an empty room no one's coming no one's coming even if they're not dead they're not coming yeah and if sona lives like if sona if sona lives like a block away she's not coming no you know sona will probably be the director of your funeral i would say

Speaker 2 you'll be involved in it

Speaker 2 you and david Hopping will probably have a lot to do.

Speaker 3 Sure. Okay.
I do, as a joke, want you to be buried in the cemetery you don't want to be buried in.

Speaker 2 We've talked about that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know. So that's.

Speaker 2 I do not want to be buried. What's it called? Force lawn.
At the forest lawn off the 134 freeway. There's a freeway.
There's one that. That's what they call it now, by the way, off the 134 freeway.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I know.

Speaker 2 I know that people that pass away here are buried there and they look down and they're baking in the sun and they're looking down on the freeway.

Speaker 2 I don't want that. I want to be

Speaker 2 just left in a field, you know, someone else. Will you be buried with the headphones on? No.

Speaker 2 With headphones on?

Speaker 2 I don't think podcasting has been my major contribution. I don't think that would mean that I saw myself as a podcaster.
No, I see myself as an artist.

Speaker 2 So I would want to would you wear a V-neck sweater at all?

Speaker 2 I would not. I would not wear it.
Because when I start to decompose, you would. You're going to be in your casket in a V-neck swider with no t-shirt.
Why do people even wear clothes in a casket?

Speaker 2 Where are they going?

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Once that lid is closed, strip them down, send them on their way. I mean,

Speaker 2 when it's an open casket, yes, it's understood. But you're saying once the casket's about to be closed, they should get everyone out of the room and then get the suit and all the stuff off of them.

Speaker 2 Get the stuff off and donate it. Yeah.
And keep it for yourself. That's a good, you know what? Of all the celebrity movements,

Speaker 2 I think that would be a very unusual one for you to lead the charge on nude burials and donate the clothes and the watch and the ring. You've decided to be buried.
That's your

Speaker 2 still up in the air? No. I have a friend, Robin Flender, who wants to be used.

Speaker 2 He wants to be used as a dummy in like a horror movie, a throw dummy. And so when he dies, he wants to be in a scene where he's like thrown out of a seven-story building.

Speaker 2 And I think that's just genius because he's a director. He's a really funny guy, and he wants that.
He really wants to. And would he get his SAG insurance for that? Yes.
And he'd get a payment.

Speaker 2 I'm sure there's some kind of situation. He wants to be a throw dummy in a movie

Speaker 2 that gets tossed off a building. And I think that's a great idea.
Would it be like a Mission Impossible or a whole bunch of people?

Speaker 2 Yeah, something like that where someone's like, the actor's pushed, and then you cut away to the body falling, and that's my friend Rodman falling through space and then hits the ground and then cut to a close-up of the actor lying there.

Speaker 2 Do you watch?

Speaker 2 Do you go on Instagram? Is this vodka or is it water?

Speaker 2 Clearly, it's vodka. You're not making a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 No one follows the conversational thread like you. No.

Speaker 2 Do you think it's a cyst in your mind? What do you think it is? I do actually have a sebaceous. No, it's not a sebaceous cyst.
It's a, oh, what's it called? It's called a.

Speaker 2 Can I come back tomorrow?

Speaker 2 It's called a, anyway, it's kind of a tumor. Oh, that's terrible.
I'm sorry. No, it's not.
It's not.

Speaker 2 It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor.

Speaker 2 It's, for some reason, I can't think of the name of it. Anyway, it's probably blocking that part of your brain, which is why you can't think of it.
It's the name of that flower with the thorns on it.

Speaker 2 The rose? That's right. Hey, Rose, what was the name of the tumor that I was?

Speaker 2 All right. You're such an idiot.
That's an old joke. You're such an idiot.
No, that's an old joke. No, listen, such a cute.
So what I was going to say, if I may have a moment, may I have a moment?

Speaker 2 Such an idiot.

Speaker 2 my eye is resting on the microphone. It looks like you're a scientist looking at the

Speaker 2 microscope. I'm looking for intelligent life in this podcast, and I see nothing.

Speaker 2 Oh, the name was right on the tip of my tongue. Now it's up on the roof of my mouth.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's moving back to the molar.

Speaker 2 So, hey, do you have a child's joke book with you? Is it hidden?

Speaker 2 Do you ever start

Speaker 2 Casper, the friendly pickle?

Speaker 2 I have a question for you. All right.
Sure, I'll finish what I was saying later. Okay, finish up.
Finish up. Finish up.
Finish up.

Speaker 2 Have you ever been scrolling on Instagram and you come across these posts that are people dying? No.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen those at all. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 They're algorithmic. No, what are you talking about?

Speaker 2 Oh, is that why I keep getting messed up?

Speaker 2 You must have chosen something similar to that to get that. Oh, my God.
That's embarrassing. I am not on Instagram.
I'm not on Instagram.

Speaker 2 You're not on Instagram. I am not on Instagram.
I'm not films on Instagram. So this is, what is it?

Speaker 2 People dying. Do people take videotape of people in their last moments? Some sick, like,

Speaker 2 you know, person who happens to have those cameras on the freeway or whatever, and a guy hitting a truck.

Speaker 2 Oh, that. Oh, that's called Faces of Death, I think.
Well, it's like that. Yeah.
So it's someone who's trying to get across the train tracks just in time, but the train hits them and there's a camera.

Speaker 2 Or they're pushed, you know. And then there was this one I just saw yesterday.
I watched it like 10 times. It is

Speaker 2 a guy with one of those suits that jumps off the cliff,

Speaker 2 you know, a squirrel suit. And he's going far.
He's going far. Yeah.
And he's fast. And he goes right by the camera and then down in the canyon and smack right into a wall.

Speaker 2 And this is a real person. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, and you know, you watch these and now the algorithm knows this is what she wants. You're going to keep getting these.
You're going to keep getting people dying. Yeah.
And you know what?

Speaker 2 I got rid of my squirrel suit right after seeing.

Speaker 2 I did. I seriously, man.
And I wasn't going off high cliffs. I was like going off the couch and stuff.
All right. Well, this was that guy.
You know, unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Take a break. We'll be right back.
Unbelievable. No, no.

Speaker 3 You watched it 10 times?

Speaker 2 I don't know how many times it was because I couldn't believe it. Another one was these people up on, I hate the cliffs.
Anything high up on a cliff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Somehow it lands in front of me.

Speaker 2 This guy and this woman, the woman jumps off like she's free falling and she's going to to pull her shoot, but she kept falling and falling. And then the two guys look at each other on the top,

Speaker 2 shake their head, and they look over the cliff, and she's gone. No squirrel suit, nothing.
Wait, so she jumped off. Why did she jump off with nothing? I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, maybe she thought there was a bungee cord or something attached to her.

Speaker 2 Some of these might be fake, too. You should look out for it.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Also, can I point out the thing that sticks to me in that story is you say a woman jumps off a cliff, two friends are watching her fall, and then they just look at each other and shake their head.

Speaker 2 That's the reaction you give when you want almond butter, you open the refrigerator, ah, there's peanut butter, but no almond butter. Shake your head and shut the door.

Speaker 2 That is not an accurate reaction. I think you're one of the two guys because that's the reaction you would have.
Like, no, no, didn't happen.

Speaker 2 I don't like any of this. I don't want to watch someone die.
If I want to see someone die, I'll check out your set at the lamp factory. We'll take a break.
We'll go back.

Speaker 2 We'll be right back and wait a second.

Speaker 2 Zim, Zam, Zoom. A Zim Zam Zang.
A Zim Zam Zoom. Let's back up.
Let's back up to something when you're finished with your silly childish

Speaker 2 look at me.

Speaker 2 That's your doing. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I guess I'm the only guy that says, look at this. I know your style.

Speaker 2 I know exactly what you're talking about. Let's talk a little bit about my style.

Speaker 2 I've been listening to you lately.

Speaker 2 Lately. Since I stopped.
We've been friends since 1988. No, but I think there's something to you now.

Speaker 2 I know how you work. I know you're just waiting for somebody to say something so you could just run with some like venting bit and just go.
And Sonya is ona is just encouraging you to keep going.

Speaker 2 And then it dies down.

Speaker 2 And then there's a last minute thought. You go back into it again.

Speaker 2 And the guest is just sitting there

Speaker 2 and the whole whackback is laughing at you. You believe it.
Let me get this straight. You're saying, I know how you work.
I know how you work. I see what you're up to there.

Speaker 2 I see what you're up to.

Speaker 2 I see what you're up to, Picasso. I see what you're doing.
You're doing your sketches, and it's really beautiful and amazing.

Speaker 2 And then you keep going, and then you finish it, and everyone's like, wow. And then you sell it for a lot of money.
I get what you're up to. And then you have a mistress.

Speaker 2 This is exactly what I'm talking about. Exactly.

Speaker 2 You're watching an artist at work. Can I go back to something? You can't reduce it.
Can I go back to something that really struck me for a second, that really surprised me?

Speaker 2 Almond butter.

Speaker 2 Do you use almond butter? I do use almond butter. Instead of peanut butter.
I know it's healthier. I like it, though.
I like potato peanuts. I like peanut butter with jam, strawberry.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 My wife always complains that I leave jam everywhere. It's on the handle to the refrigerator.
It's on the steering wheel of the car because it's tough to get off the strawberry jam.

Speaker 2 You know, some people have accused you in the past of taking when the conversation is really on fire.

Speaker 2 On fire. Yeah.
And I'm like really killing it that you stop it and then take us into a less productive world just to punish me, which would be

Speaker 2 sometimes I get a little bit of jam and start doing a little bit of a bit of a head. There comes the bit.

Speaker 2 Three within two minutes. Three bits.
Running away. My wife, my wife doesn't like it so much because there's a little bit of jam run.

Speaker 2 Is the energy sufficiently lowered in the room now? Is Conan, have we cooled his jets enough now? I think we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, Conan, what else you got?

Speaker 2 And then I got to start from scratch. That's what you just did.
Are you done with the third bit you did in the last two minutes?

Speaker 2 I expected you to jump on that and help me with it and make it a little more dynamic and funny. No, no.
But you just cut me apart. No, no, no.
Have a little slice of fucked you pie is what I say.

Speaker 2 You're not getting anything from me. So

Speaker 2 what would you do? Maybe we'd go on a road trip. You and I? Yeah.
I think we'd do pretty well. Who would drive first? I think I would drive.

Speaker 2 Would it be that silly?

Speaker 2 Because you blink a lot. I don't trust you.
Sometimes I leave the blinking on.

Speaker 2 Nice. Hey,

Speaker 2 how many hours would we drive a day?

Speaker 2 I like to get a lot of road under me, so to speak. So I'm one of those guys that

Speaker 2 I like to log a lot of miles and I get a little OCD about it. Like I want to just, if someone says, hey, let's stop for a while and maybe this is enough for today.

Speaker 2 I want to always, I'm that guy that always wants to go another two hours. Well, finally, we're connecting on something.
I like to go little bits.

Speaker 2 If you try to get to wherever you're going in one day, even if it's cross-country, I wouldn't do that. You wouldn't.
Would you stay in an expensive hotel or would you stay like in a motel six?

Speaker 2 Well, I think I'd split the difference.

Speaker 2 Let's say you only had $500 to get where you're going. Then I think I wouldn't be staying in a very expensive hotel.
So you're not helping me.

Speaker 2 I'm giving you an opening. Oh, these are your opening.
To be funny.

Speaker 2 Oh, these are the gems? Well, everybody would say that the gems, but you apparently are thinking about your last bit that you did.

Speaker 2 Wait, you can't just say, hey, hey, Conan, you like coconuts? Would you ask me? I think coconuts are okay. How How do you like to open them?

Speaker 2 Do I open them with a

Speaker 2 way he's opening something and just go and run it? I'd like to open a coconut.

Speaker 2 I don't really know, Kevin. Sometimes I don't really done it a lot, but I guess I'd use like some kind of a blade or something.
Come on,

Speaker 2 I'm giving you gems here. What are you doing?

Speaker 2 What music will we listen to in the car? Or your truck, whatever we're taking.

Speaker 2 We'd take my truck, my Toyota truck. A couple of bikes in the back? Yeah, we would have a couple of bikes in the back.
Coolers. And I know that you're a guy that likes James Taylor.
You like stuff.

Speaker 2 Well, I like everything now. Not so much.
You are pretty much locked in the. Brandy Carlisle.
She's also an EP on this movie I just did called Cuts to Me in the Good Light.

Speaker 2 It'll be out soon. Late 60s, 70s.
I think that's your.

Speaker 2 I don't think you listen to a lot of modern music. I honestly don't.
You're right. My brother.
No. I don't.
I'm honest with you now. I'm being honest.
All right.

Speaker 2 My brother listens to 60s, and I'm thinking, I'm not going to listen to that, man. That's just too, that's giving up, you know? And then I start listening to it.
I go, yeah, I like this. I like this.

Speaker 2 Sweet cherry wine by Tommy James and the Shondells. Yeah.
You know, maybe that's 70s. But, um, but just, let's, can you just ask me something

Speaker 2 serious? Like, you know, that's you really want to know about me. And I swear to God, I will tell you exactly.
And let's see if you can handle it. Okay.

Speaker 2 As you know, I'm, I know you and I know your family. I know your lovely wife,

Speaker 2 your very handsome, cool son.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that you don't even know his name. Gable.

Speaker 2 Okay. You don't need to spread it around.

Speaker 2 Jeez. Why don't you just give my pin number?

Speaker 2 And I see you. I've known different incarnations of you, but I see you as a guy that now gets a lot of satisfaction out of your wonderful family.

Speaker 2 And I think that that is,

Speaker 2 I'm happy for you in that regard.

Speaker 2 Done. Done.
I don't really hear a question, though.

Speaker 2 Why is it so difficult to break through to you where you don't even want to, because you don't want to know.

Speaker 2 I don't want to know.

Speaker 2 I don't want to know. It's too difficult for you to.
You do.

Speaker 2 You'd be the worst interrogator. You won't even ask the question to the, to the I am famously a good interviewer.
I'm a very good interviewer. I'm one of,

Speaker 2 I think that's a skill I have. You're the only person I've ever known that's accused me of being a terrible interviewer.
All right, let's say I'm a suspect. Okay.
I'm in the interrogation room. Okay.

Speaker 2 Somebody just

Speaker 2 robbed a Brinks truck.

Speaker 2 It wasn't me. Well, what do you say to that? Okay.
It sounds like you're innocent to me. You're free to go.

Speaker 2 No, but you're, I'd say, I'd ask you a couple of questions. Were you near the bank, the Brinks truck when it was robbed? No.
You weren't in the neighborhood? No, no. Where were you?

Speaker 2 Good question.

Speaker 2 You think a suspect ever says that to you, Tarika? That's a good question.

Speaker 2 All right, let me go back to that statement that you mentioned about my family. Yeah.
Very lucky.

Speaker 2 I do love them, and I'm so fortunate

Speaker 2 to have them.

Speaker 2 And I think you feel the same way about your family. Do you? I think you do.
Sure. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're great.

Speaker 2 I prefer your family. It's an amazing family.
I don't believe you.

Speaker 2 You are an enigma a little bit to me. I don't quite understand you.
I admire you, but I don't quite understand you.

Speaker 2 And I know that you don't really understand me. I think we're both hiding our true feelings, not just from each other, but from a lot of people.
I think we want to be like.

Speaker 2 Oh, I have a question for you.

Speaker 2 Have you cried?

Speaker 2 Do you cry? Yeah. Because I don't cry.
I credit this movie. Come see me in the good light.
Okay, stop doing that. What? Doing what? That's just.
You asked me if I cried. That is so low.

Speaker 2 And you know what's great about it? It's laughter and crying. Yeah.
It's like unexpected humor. Okay.

Speaker 2 It's just humor. But I do.
I do cry.

Speaker 2 Do you cry? Seriously. I'm being honest now.
Who doesn't cry? I don't cry a lot. I don't think I cry a lot.
So you hold it in. I don't think I'm even holding it in.
It just doesn't happen.

Speaker 2 I don't think.

Speaker 3 I think I've only seen you cry like a couple times.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
When you heard the news about the Oscars posting that, did you cry? I did. I'm still crying.
You know what's interesting? When Eric Idol, our friend Eric Idol, the brilliant Eric Idol.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can we talk about this? He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Yes, he was.

Speaker 2 And he

Speaker 2 said he had

Speaker 2 couldn't even think about it or had no reaction emotionally. But then when he heard that it wasn't pancreatic and he was fine, he cried.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 I could see that, the relief. Yeah.
The relief. Yeah, you're holding it in and you have all that stuff.
He got a death sentence and then he got a reprieve.

Speaker 2 And he's famously, you know, of course,

Speaker 2 he's famously grew up

Speaker 2 in World War II

Speaker 2 in that generation after that was, you know, rationing and

Speaker 2 repression and all kinds of stuff. So, yeah, I could see him in the middle.
And did he tell you about his father? What happened to his dad? No. He came back from the war.

Speaker 2 They'd been gone from the war, got into their neighborhood, crossed the street, got hit by a truck.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. A lorry, as they call them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's the name of a truck in England. Yeah, an elevator.

Speaker 2 An elevator is a little bit more. See how I'm bringing a lick up again?

Speaker 2 That's a terrible story. I didn't know that.
Yeah. And maybe I heard it, but I didn't process it.
You didn't care about it. No, it's not that I didn't care about it, but I don't think I knew that.

Speaker 2 No, I may have known that because I know that

Speaker 2 I've read a lot about him. I just don't remember that part.
You should have some video games in here that the guests can play.

Speaker 2 You know what? Can I just say you just brought it back to someone being killed suddenly? Yeah. I bet you're just bitter.
There's no video of it. You know, I went to school for marketing.

Speaker 2 I have a degree, a BS degree in marketing. And, of course, you know, doctor, honorary doctorate, you main letters.
But

Speaker 2 what was I going to say?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 It was a Cracker Jack opening.

Speaker 2 You know, I have a doctor.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. Okay.
The giggles are boiling. The giggles are on the boil.

Speaker 2 The turtles are on the fire.

Speaker 2 Can I help you in any way? Yes. Do you have size seven? Do you, you don't, I think at your core, you have no respect for me.
I really do. I think in your core, you have no respect for me.

Speaker 2 I'm just amazed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we've talked about this. You can't believe it.
Will you listen to me? I'm not even going in that direction. Just

Speaker 2 the sword. You don't want to see any more of my skin.
I don't want to see any more. I should have worn a V-napping.
I've been there. Okay.
Just leave it alone. You're amazed.
What's that?

Speaker 2 You're amazed at what? No, I'm just amazed at how happy you are.

Speaker 2 You're telling me that you don't cry. And so maybe inside you're not.
But, you know, it's such a relief. I think all of us will agree that it's a relief.
You just buried that?

Speaker 2 Connecting with your

Speaker 2 team. Maybe inside you're not.
Isn't it great to cry? Yeah. And it's such a release, and it makes you less stressed and opens you up to, I think, to a happier life.

Speaker 2 And it shows that you're human and you have emotions. It's human with an H.
It's not human with a Y. Do you know what Take told me once, Tigna Taro? Yeah.

Speaker 2 She said, you don't pronounce your H's when you say words.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know,

Speaker 2 humor. It's humor.
Yeah. And then I thought, that's pretty right because when I laugh, I don't pronounce my H's either.
It's just, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 It is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you're right, I don't.

Speaker 2 But how would you say herb? I'd say it's an herb.

Speaker 2 No H. I wouldn't pronounce the H.
I wouldn't say herb. Herb is an H finger.
Herb is a guy.

Speaker 2 Herb is a guy.

Speaker 2 Do you think there's any herbs that grow herbs?

Speaker 2 Do you want to succeed?

Speaker 2 Do you want to succeed? Do you want to succeed on the podcast?

Speaker 2 Do you want to grow my game?

Speaker 2 Do you want to have a successful game? Do you want to have a successful podcast?

Speaker 2 Are there any herbs that grow herbs?

Speaker 2 Have you, sir, at long last no shame? Are there any herbs that are eaten by a guy named Herb?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know what to do. Oh, my God.
I don't know what to do. And I think, you know, I was going to come in here today thinking maybe now we could have a sensible discussion.

Speaker 2 We haven't last time. I defy anyone.
And again, I've probably said this before. I defy anyone out there to dissect what's been said in this marathon Bibble Babble session and find anything

Speaker 2 that connects to anything else. Did you say Bibble Babble? I said Bibble Babble.
I like the Bibble and I like the Bibble Babble. I do both of those.
What? You know me so well.

Speaker 2 What? You're not paying attention.

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm trying to have a conversation, and I liken, having a conversation with you, I liken it to I'm jogging and you're in a flatbed truck just ahead of me, throwing orange cones at my feet, trying to trip me and make me stumble.

Speaker 2 Have you done this before? Yes, I've done this before. I have.

Speaker 2 I have. Why am I so confused that you can't carry on a conversation without going into a fit about hibble-bibble or whatever it is?

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 I ask my friends the whack pack, and you don't have to agree with me, but you analyze what's happening. Okay.

Speaker 2 Well, Eduardo, what do you think is happening here? Is he slipping or what? Is Conan slipping? What am I? Am I the someone? I'm asking anyone to intervene. Who would you believe?

Speaker 2 More a guy who cries and feels his emotions or a guy that keeps it in and just gets angry at everybody.

Speaker 2 It's consistent. Yeah, there you go.
Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 But Eduardo, when you, it's very unique when I talk to Kevin and I don't understand what's happening. Yeah.
And I would love someone to explain it to me. Okay, first of all, he's on your team.
Nope.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be a fan of the team. Eduardo is not a fan.

Speaker 2 Eduardo is not a fan. He's not a fan.
Okay. And nobody in this room.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was asked this question last time. Yes, and I'm asking you again.
And I described it that

Speaker 2 I think as a beautiful train wreck,

Speaker 2 this feels like. the person jumping off the bridge without the

Speaker 2 why does there have to be an analogy about everything well because why can't you say what it is I think Eduardo just said. I don't need an analogy.
I understand English.

Speaker 2 You're a humor. This is free fall.
This is free fall. And it's madness.
And

Speaker 2 yet, there will be advertisers that will be connected to this. You guys are a hall of mirrors.

Speaker 2 You're folding in on each other. Yes, yes.
I'm sorry for the analogy. It's the snake eating its tail.
It's the snake eating its tail.

Speaker 2 Can we go with one analogy? It's a snake throwing up its own tail. Yeah, it's a snake throwing up in a hall of mirrors.
Yes. That's what this is.
And I tell you, sir, I tell you, sir,

Speaker 2 I'm the control in this experiment. I talk to many people, and it goes very well.
You come in, and it always,

Speaker 2 the washing machine explodes, and suds go flying everywhere. So you are the problem.

Speaker 2 I mean, that can't be proven until he talks to a bunch of other people.

Speaker 2 But who's going to want to do that?

Speaker 2 This is subjective. It's subjective.

Speaker 2 I can't reach. I can't reach.
First of all, congratulations on the Mark Twain prize. Oh, thank you very much.
But it is a prize. It's not an award.

Speaker 2 Seriously. A prize is like a Cracker Jack's toy.

Speaker 2 Am I right?

Speaker 2 It's a prize. It is a prize.
Don't get all excited. No, I'm not.
Does it come in a box?

Speaker 2 Is it in a box?

Speaker 2 I feel I'm like a prize pig with a little ribbon. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I appreciate that. At first, you think it's a Mark Twain award.
You go, you're going to receive a Mark Twain Prize. Oh.

Speaker 2 Just dig through this. Dig through this Cracker Jack box.
I was the honorary mayor. Where? Pacific Palisades.
Oh, God. Okay.
Well, that's. Way to bring it down, man.

Speaker 2 You asked me where.

Speaker 2 What? That's my fault?

Speaker 2 That's my fault. You said I was the mayor? Honorary, I said.
Honorary. That's ridiculous.
Honorary mayor. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 That's like, oh, I was at Dallas. Oh, yeah, when? When Kennedy was shot.

Speaker 2 Why would you bring that up? Don't yell. I listen to you in the car and you yell a lot.
And I have to lower it. He does.
Yeah. You do.
If you're going to yell. But did you see what he did?

Speaker 2 He said, I was the mayor.

Speaker 2 And I said, oh, cool. Where? And then he brings up a place where there was a terrible tragedy.
I said I was the honorary mayor. Why would you even want to follow that up with anything?

Speaker 2 Look at me.

Speaker 2 Look at me.

Speaker 2 I'm looking at you. You're the worst.
Seriously.

Speaker 2 Why would you open that can of worms?

Speaker 2 I guess it's my fault. I guess it's my fault.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you think when you asked me that, you knew where I used to live? You knew where I lived now. I know.
I didn't know that that's where you were the honorary mayor. I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 another opportunity for you to expose my life and my personal life and where I lived. Okay.
Well,

Speaker 2 are you okay? Is everyone all right? Did your place, did you?

Speaker 2 I was okay until I got here today. Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 But, you know, you just undermine me so much. I think that's a good thing.
Okay, guys, let's not. Let's just

Speaker 2 say, let's say this was our last life, our last moment. I think this might be, yeah.

Speaker 2 We had a good run, man. Well, I worked hard.
You got lucky.

Speaker 2 I think you believe that, too. And I think you're right.
I think you're right. I think we both had a lot of luck.
But you think I had a crazy amount of luck. And I think you open yourself up to luck.

Speaker 2 And boy, did you get it?

Speaker 2 No, don't you think that's right, though? I think we both are unseemingly people that would be

Speaker 2 like to be

Speaker 2 proof. This is proof.
This podcast, I think, is proof that we are both incredibly lucky people, that we've managed to scratch out livings in this business.

Speaker 2 And then this conversation is the height, is the height of our. That's crazy.
What's that, pal?

Speaker 2 What is it?

Speaker 2 Give me something I can learn. I think you call people Palmore or Bud? Buddy? I'm more of a Pal guy.
Hey, Bro. Pal.
Hey, Pal. It's an East Coast thing.
Yeah. um

Speaker 2 just keep i'm just trying to remember the name of that tumor that i had

Speaker 2 do you really have something in your because i know you have a lot of medical maladies you've probably done i have nothing

Speaker 2 i saw you once and you said my shoulder like fell off you were walking along and your shoulder fell off and you're and then you had what i felt off the shoulder of the road that's not true you try to play it back

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm. No, let's go back to the question.
This was our last day on the planet. We would open up to each other, right? No, I doubt that.
Would you cry then? No, I don't. I don't think so.

Speaker 2 What would make you cry? I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me staying here another minute? I think 30 seconds would do it. You've never seen a movie that made you cry? I have.
Yeah. I have.

Speaker 2 So you lied to us all. Yeah.
No, no, no. No, I didn't say I never cried.
I just don't cry often. That's all.
Not a big crier. I wish I cried more.
I think I'd be a help.

Speaker 2 But I don't think I said I've never cried in my life. That would be a sociopath.
Yeah. Did you cry when you were younger a lot?

Speaker 2 No, I remember this is a true story.

Speaker 2 I was in the gym. I was wrestling a kid.
We both fell backwards. I put my arm out to stop it and my elbow went bent the wrong way and I couldn't move it and I was in an incredible amount of pain.

Speaker 2 And the nurse at the Driscoll School called my mother

Speaker 2 and said,

Speaker 2 I'm gonna go get a glass of water.

Speaker 2 You're gonna cry now. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Well, you said Mrs. Driscoll, the nurse.
I thought, this is going nowhere.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then my nurse comes in and she says, oh, it looks like you bent it backwards. See, that's that's what you do.
And I go, no, I did bent it backwards. You're the nurse.

Speaker 2 My arm's not supposed to bend that way.

Speaker 2 You tricked me into telling a real story about my childhood and my mom.

Speaker 2 And then you totally torpedoed me.

Speaker 2 It wasn't intentional.

Speaker 2 Seriously. You said the son of Sam killer.

Speaker 3 Are we not going to hear hear the end of that story?

Speaker 2 It's very quick. The nurse called and said, yeah, your son's here.

Speaker 2 Blah, blah, blah. Losing interest.
Losing interest.

Speaker 2 We've already heard that part.

Speaker 2 We don't need to recap it, please. No recapping.

Speaker 2 The nurse said, I think he's fine. And my mom said, well, how does he seem? And she said, oh, he's crying a little bit.
And she said, he never cries. Let's take him to the hospital.

Speaker 2 And I had a shattered elbow.

Speaker 2 So the fact that I was any moisture in my eye at all indicated to my mother that there was a real problem. That is proof that I'm not the old boo-hoo boy.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Are you okay with me telling that story to other people? It's such a good story.

Speaker 2 Can I share that?

Speaker 2 What are you drinking? Is that coffee? This is tea. I'm having a little tea, a little iced tea.
Do you have a cold? Nope, I do not have a cold. These are good questions, though.

Speaker 2 You sound stuffy. I'm not stuffy at all.
In fact, I think I have no congestion.

Speaker 2 Remember when we had lunch and we were just both being serious serious with each other? No, I don't. I don't think I've ever had lunch with you.

Speaker 2 I've never had a moment with you. Do you ever worry about your weight?

Speaker 2 Should I? Should I worry about my weight? I don't worry about my weight. I worry about my height.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't care. Baron is tall, isn't he?

Speaker 2 Baron Trump. Seriously, very tall.
He's tall. Yeah, yeah.
You know, when people say you don't prepare, I always say, yes, he does.

Speaker 2 It's all thought out beforehand. And

Speaker 2 do you have a congestion? I think Baron Trump has tall.

Speaker 2 One flows into the other seamlessly.

Speaker 2 What's on your mind right now? What's your biggest worry right now besides hosting the Oscars? I guess ending this, like, how do I end it in a way that feels

Speaker 2 like we're still friends afterwards?

Speaker 2 But it's still a professional ending.

Speaker 2 I get it. I get what you're saying.
I understand that. Yeah, the dismount is the hardest part with a Kevin Neal.
You ever do gymnastics?

Speaker 2 Can you do a somersault? Let's start with that. I cannot.
No, I cannot. You never do one? Never could do a somersault.
Really? Could you do a somersault? Well, yeah. Oh, no.
Oh, a somersault.

Speaker 2 I thought you missed my cartwheel. No, yeah, a somersault.
Yeah, I could do a somersault. Yeah.
I see people backflipping off of a dock.

Speaker 2 I think I could try that because what's the worst that can happen? Oh,

Speaker 2 land on the dock.

Speaker 2 No, you would just, you land in the water somehow. You ever think about that? Nope, never.
Maybe they'll give you something to think about about in the future. Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker 2 I think we're done with that one.

Speaker 2 I think there's no more meat left on that bone.

Speaker 2 Give me a bone with a lot of meat on it and let's talk. No.
And then you can edit all the other stuff out. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 We're keeping it all because I'm going to use this when we go see your neurologist.

Speaker 2 Neurologist. No, neurologist.

Speaker 2 That's not what a tumor is.

Speaker 2 God, I'm going to be driving home and I'm going to think of the name of that. It's a benign, you know, it's not threatening at all.
It's a cyst. No, I said it's a tumor.

Speaker 2 A cyst is like a hard nodule that's. Okay.
Okay. All right.
I'm not a doctor, but. Okay.
No. It's a, God, you know what? If you had a good crew, they would have looked it up already.

Speaker 2 You know? Oh, all the tumors in the city. Jeez, they're just sitting there with their mouths a gap, a gape, a gap, a gape.
It's a gape. What's the last new word that you learned?

Speaker 2 Seriously.

Speaker 2 Do you use it? I don't know. Kona.

Speaker 2 Do you ever wake up up and say, here's the word I'm going to use today? I'm going to try and use it like five times. Okay.
I do something. Meningioma? Meningioma.
What? Meningioma. Okay.

Speaker 2 They call it a tumor, but it's really just a little

Speaker 2 town in Italy.

Speaker 2 They have a great. I feel like I've lost you.
You lost me a while ago. I feel like you're just depleted.
You're not at the top of your game anymore. No, no, no.
No, you've. Who's the guest here?

Speaker 2 Is it you or me? I don't know. You've asked most of the questions.

Speaker 2 Because I can't get anything out of you. How can I? anyone? Does anyone have an idea? Just please end this.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Kevin, you know I love you. So this could be our last day on the planet.

Speaker 2 What? No. You never know.
Yeah, I do know. There's going to be a tomorrow.
There's always tomorrow. Let's wrap it up with something that really is

Speaker 2 thoughtful. Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 meaningful. Okay.
I'm excited for you. I really am excited for you.

Speaker 2 And there's nothing, there's no underlining, you know, thought here or

Speaker 2 i can assume you i can assure you there is not i can assure you through hard experience there is nothing you've lost trust in me as a person yeah that can connect and yeah yeah i'm not sure i had it ever but i do well i don't your mind fascinates me always has it's moving it moves it sure uh you're you're done fighting you're not even fighting anymore you don't think like you don't think like anyone else uh and i've always admired your integrity as a comedian And I think you've a unique style.

Speaker 2 You've stuck to your guns. And

Speaker 2 that's the problem.

Speaker 2 I need to change guns. No, no, no.
No, I mean, I was talking about you for a minute. I think that you are.

Speaker 2 I tried to end it right there. You saw.
You want to go out on a laugh, first of all. No, I don't.
I'm secure enough to not go out on a laugh, and we can just add one later.

Speaker 2 I can take a laugh from the old Lucy show and add it. You know,

Speaker 2 I really should get closer, though.

Speaker 2 I do appreciate you, and I think

Speaker 2 that you backed away from the mic and just started to say something nice. So far,

Speaker 2 our mics can't even work. I'm so talented.
I think the one thing I appreciate is that you always

Speaker 2 people love you. Do you know the most watched hike I do hiking with Kevin on YouTube is Conan O'Brien.
Oh, my son told me that. That's cool.
That's good to know. And you have Tom Hanks on that?

Speaker 2 You have ever

Speaker 2 Hanks, Jack Black, Paul Rudd, you. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 2 Molly Shannon. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But you, you have like, you are so famous.
And I think about this a lot. When I go places, I don't get recognized.
I think Conan would get recognized here. But you can go to Finland.

Speaker 2 You can go to China probably. And they know who you are.
Yeah, maybe. Is that hard to be that popular for no reason?

Speaker 2 It was so close. It was so close.

Speaker 2 Let's talk to our dead. No, I'm done here.
We're done.

Speaker 2 Hey, Kevin, best of luck with your movie.

Speaker 2 Come see me in the good light, starring Struda Aben and Lee Ben Hobbin, executive with you. Kevin on Fox Nation.
And also, Kevin on Fox Nation.

Speaker 2 Hiking with Kevin is on Fox Nation.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I keep having you back, but people do. I don't either.
People do love it. Why do I keep coming? People do love it.

Speaker 2 We'll see. We'll see.
We'll look at the numbers after this one. But God love you, Kevin.
I love you. And just cover up next time we go out.
Okay?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I'll wear a turtleneck. All right.
Peace out.

Speaker 2 On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee, the one you wore everywhere, until you lost it,

Speaker 2 or your brother Neil burned it.

Speaker 2 Now you're on eBay, and there it is. The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you, especially on eBay.
From rare collectibles in vintage cars to designer fashion, it's all there.

Speaker 2 You can find it if it's out there and it can be back in your loving arms. Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story.
eBay, things, people, love.

Speaker 2 You know me, I love to travel. You love to travel.
Travel the world. I do it

Speaker 2 professionally for my travel show, but I also just like to, sometimes with my wife, go and visit a foreign land and try their different cuisines.

Speaker 2 Enjoy the world. Travel is just better with D-Mobile.
You will not believe believe what members get on their best plans. They get amazing travel benefits, like free in-flight Wi-Fi.

Speaker 2 I use my Wi-Fi a lot when I'm on a plane. Me too.
And that free in-flight Wi-Fi sounds good to me. A free year of AAA

Speaker 2 data and texting in over 215 countries and so many more. I don't have time to mention it.
I just don't have the time.

Speaker 3 I didn't even know there were 215 countries.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's just, well,

Speaker 2 it's not sad. It's not even surprising.

Speaker 2 Anyway, all this just means it doesn't cost 50 bucks to tell your producer that you're lost somewhere in, I don't know, Madagascar, the Maldives, Mesopotamia, Miami.

Speaker 2 T-Mobile's benefits and perks take the stress out of travel. Let them save you from the boredom of long flights.
Plus, you can save with all the freebies and discounts.

Speaker 2 Check it out at t-mobile.com/slash travel.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that we're even going to use this, but I do. We just ended somehow the interview with Kevin Nealon, and

Speaker 2 I want an explanation. I want an honest explanation, and I want people in the room to say, because people put, I

Speaker 2 don't think it's me. I think it's all him.
And then I hear it's me, too. It's both of you.
Okay, so what is it? It takes two. What is it?

Speaker 2 You can't let it be. I say something, and then you immediately.
Neither can you. Neither of you can.

Speaker 2 Because he gets it wrong. I get it wrong and I have to correct him.
The bigger concern here is that you were able to finally end that podcast and now you started it up exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I can't let it. I just want to know.
I want to know what happened.

Speaker 3 Do you really, really think you're completely just not to blame at all about this?

Speaker 2 I don't want to say blame because that's negative, but I want to know who the guilty party is. What happened with the dismount? You talked about a dismount and I disagree with you.

Speaker 2 I try with you and it's him. I can do it.
You just get right back on.

Speaker 3 You don't try with him.

Speaker 2 Okay, so what is it, Eduardo? Everyone's agreeing that I'm half the problem? Am I half the problem?

Speaker 2 yeah this when you two get together it's like lakers celtics it's like the super bowl it's a competition i think it's like murder and accessory you know

Speaker 2 why do i feel like you have to win every time i it's not that i want to win it's just that uh i don't know what happens i honestly don't know what happens you want me to leave and you'll say got him got him this time it's not do you really think you're trying to have a serious interview and that kevin is derailing it you don't really think that no you do think that if I said to him, which I did at one point, like when I do try to say something serious, he's not going to have it.

Speaker 2 You know that, right? If I said to him, hey, so the hiking with Kevin, you seem to really enjoy those, he'd say, I got to tell you, submersibles. What's really

Speaker 2 part of me that thinks you're baiting him. You're trolling him a little bit.
Yes. Yeah, because you know people.

Speaker 2 You guys are

Speaker 2 trading straight man. It's two straight men in a room and no comedian.
Well, it's like

Speaker 2 you're trading straight men. There's a problem.
Straight man just instantaneously. Did you see he listened to you for like three seconds, and that's a record I've ever seen him listen to somebody?

Speaker 2 You were actually listening and looking at him. And when you broke down who I am as a comic, just

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 what an insulting slam. That's cool.
That's, that's talent to be able to do that and get away with it.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.
I just wanted a quick,

Speaker 2 I am happy to accept, I wanted a quick therapy session. I am happy to accept half the fault.
Yes. If we can say fault.

Speaker 2 But I honestly will tell you, I don't know what's happening when I'm talking to Kevin. I don't know what's happening.
And I don't think you know what's happening. Oh, I know what's happening.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, what's that there, buddy boy? You're not crying enough. Okay.

Speaker 2 Maybe if you cried a little bit,

Speaker 2 you would be so strong on it. Okay, peace out.
Tupac. Thank you, Kevin.
Goodbye. Good dismount.

Speaker 2 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Offsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Fross, and Nick Liao.

Speaker 2 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.

Speaker 2 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

Speaker 2 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

Speaker 2 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

Speaker 2 It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com/slash Conan.

Speaker 2 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Speaker 4 The JBL Tour Pro 3 earbuds are packed with innovation because you can't stand out by following others. Touch screen smart charging case for one touch control.
Instant EQ customization.

Speaker 4 True adaptive noise cancellation. And a one-of-a-kind audio transmitter to plug and play from almost any source.
Plus, Spatial 360 sound on anything.

Speaker 4 First doesn't follow. The new JBL Tour Pro 3.

Speaker 6 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 5 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 2 At participating McDonald's.