8 | The Rear View Mirror

at Lowe's pros save big on the supplies you need to get the job done with the new my Lowe's pro rewards program get member-only deals every week and access to free standard shipping plus members earn points toward exclusive rewards join for free today Lowe's we help you save points are awarded on eligible purchases programs subject to terms and conditions free standard shipping not available in Alaska and Hawaii exclusions and more terms apply details at lowes.com slash awarded on eligible purchases. Programs subject to terms and conditions.
Free standards shipping not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Exclusions and more terms apply.
Details at lowes.com slash terms. Subject to change.
Retirement is full of questions. How much is enough? What if I want to keep working? Or take on something new entirely? And what about taxes or medical costs? T.
Rowe Price's Confident Conversations on Retirement podcast explores all the ways you can be open to what retirement could be.

Listen in for insights on retirement income, firsthand financial perspectives, and even the unretirement trend.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or learn more at T-Row Price dot com slash podcast.

Retire with confidence.

The all new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X provides freedom, freedom to explore. To go wherever you want.
With your whole crew and all your toys. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, 8,500 pounds of towing capacity, and seating for eight, this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure.
Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com.

Intelligent four-wheel drive

cannot prevent collisions

or provide enhanced traction

in all conditions.

Always monitor traffic

and weather conditions.

Have you ever felt that uneasy anxiety

when the 4 p.m. hour strikes?

The creeping meal-related distress

that happens when you don't

quite feel prepared?

You know, dinner dread.

Let's get rid of that unpleasant

feeling forever with one word, Stouffers. No matter what happens, you'll have a dinner feeling forever with one word stouffers no matter

what happens you'll have a dinner plan that everyone loves with stouffers some chicken

enchiladas or a cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake is always welcome whether it's plan a or plan

delicious when the clock strikes dinner thanks stouffers shop now for family favorites

you're listening to a Tenderfoot TV podcast.

Crook County is released weekly and brought to you absolutely free.

But if you want to hear the whole season right now, it's available ad-free on Tenderfoot Plus.

For more information, check out the show notes.

Enjoy the episode.

You're listening to Crook County.

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the individuals participating in the podcast.

This episode also contains subject matter, including graphic depictions of violence, which may not be suitable for everyone.

Listener discretion is advised. Hello, friends.
We've come such a long way since we launched Crook County, and I want to thank you for sticking with me as I tell this story, and for all the incredible words of kindness and support you've showed me over these past eight weeks. I'd like to show that appreciation by having an open and honest conversation with you, the listeners, on a bonus episode which will air in a couple weeks.
So please visit our Instagram at CrookCountyPodcast and leave me a comment or an audio message with questions about the show or anything that you feel is relevant. And I will do my very best to answer as many of them as I can.
Thank you so much. Our family is so grateful to know that we are not alone in this journey of discovery and healing.
And I look forward to hearing from you soon. Previously on Crook County.
I really wanted to get back into civilian life. I was ready for it.

Ken leaves the outfit for the Chicago Fire Department.

Just when you think you're away from all this shit,

I'm covering up fucking murders that these cops are doing.

The cops are just as crooked as the criminals.

It's the brotherhood of the cops, you know, and you're so dependent on them that I wouldn't even be here today if I hadn't stayed on the right side of that. And Kenny learns that putting his past behind him is an impossible task.
And I always had that pendulum swinging over my fucking head that I could be called in at any time.

My name is Kyle Tequila.

Welcome to Crook County. Lost in the West Lost in the West He's a soldier, but he's a higher-end soldier.

I've had experiences with him in the past,

and I never liked him, never appreciated him,

never even wanted to recognize him as a human fucking being.

And that was my mission, to snuff the fucking life out of this guy. Episode 8, The Rearview Mirror.
I can remember heading off to work with the fire department still. And I'm on the Eisenhower Expressway heading east.
I see him. There's a lot of traffic in the morning.
So there's stop and go, stop and go. So anyway, I managed to worm my way in and stop and go up to him.
I was on his left. Rolled down the window with my, well, we had electric windows even back then, hey, believe it or not.

Rolled down the window, spit, and of course I knew I would get his ivory up.

He heard it, he saw me, he spun out of control, and the race was on.

The question I asked him was simple. You spent all these years running around the streets of Chicago working for the outfit.
But you are also working these same streets as a firefighter and a paramedic. So what happens when you inevitably run into somebody you knew from your days in the mob.
So we did weaving in and out of traffic on the pull-off sections right and left, and

people actually getting out of the way for two and a half miles with this hundred mile an hour fucking chase. So I led this son of a bitch right into a kill.
We have these concrete embankments in Chicago that the left is the exit and the right is where you continue traveling. So I led this son of a bitch because I knew he was raging.
He wasn't even thinking properly. I knew it.
So I led him right into the exit. I can't remember what street.
I led him right into the embankment. And I made a quick chop left and kept going at about 70 miles per hour, but he wasn't fast enough.
He hit that concrete embankment and his fucking car exploded. I watched it in my rearview mirror.
So I knew nothing was going to happen with this guy. He was just simply dead.
So now you're going to ask yourself, how does a guy working for a fire department go out and snuff out a fucking mobster in front of 300 people and go home the next morning and feel good about himself?

Well, you got to understand this, people, all you civilians out there.

These people are evil garbage.

They deserve to be dead.

The world is a better place without them.

You have no idea what these people are capable of doing and have done

and will continue to fucking do. Not unless.

Their lives are snatched.

From them.

And this particular incident.

I knew this fuck.

I knew his fucking history.

And I knew.

I had to snatch the life out of this fuck.

So.

Did I feel bad? No. Not one fucking bit.
I slept, woke up the next morning, and did whatever I had to do without even thinking about it. It was just a normal fucking kill.
That's all. In my mind at that time, that needed to be done.

I actually feel okay about doing it

because I really believe I did the world

a favor. Because the only

thing this man could have done

was make things worse.

That's it, people.

I don't know what else to fucking tell you. And if you can't live

with that, then I don't know what else to fucking tell you and if you can't live with that then I don't know grow the fuck up

To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

It's Christmas Eve in 2019.

So up to the housetop, the courses they flew with sleigh of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
Santa. Santa.
Santa. That's St.
Nicholas. St.
Nicholas and Santa are the same dude. Do you know that? My dad has been staying with us for a few days while we recorded these final interviews.
There's no Rudolph. No, there's no Rudolph in this story.
We haven't gone there yet, maybe. Yeah, I don't think there's a Rudolph in this one.
No. No, there's no Rudolph in this one.
Whoa, they messed up. Oh, maybe they just forgot.
On this particular Christmas. That doesn't mean he's not going to be here tonight.
I can almost guarantee he's going to be here tonight. He might have been out for this Christmas here, though.
You know, maybe he had a cold. Who knows? What do you think? I don't see any shiny.
I don't see it either. But we're

not going to worry about that, right? It's so strange to see my dad switch from this cold,

hard killer to the loving grandpa almost instantaneously.

Look at that beard.

Hey, look at this.

What's that?

Cookies.

Cookies and milk, just like that, right over there, buddy.

What's that?

What is that?

Carrots.

Yeah, that's a carrot.

Yeah, we're going to go with that one.

That's for the reindeer. Oh, that's right.
That's for the reindeer. They got to eat too.
Yeah. Yeah.
But smart guy. But it's the perfect example of just how easy it was for him to hide this dark double life from us for all these years.
I heard him explain as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. As my wife and I sit here by the fire, watching our five-year-old son Lincoln reading The Night Before Christmas with his grandfather, I'm also reminded of just how much I loved my dad when I was that age.
And even after everything that's happened since, I'll always remember the man that he was when I was young. Me siento muy sola.
Me da vergüenza. ¡Gracias por ver el video! When your thoughts and emotions pass you over and ask you, we're here to accompany you.
CalHOPE has free resources, safe and confidential to take care of your mental health and the of other people. Find help at calhope.org.
When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right, because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure.
With a twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of towing capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along.
And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you. Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada.
In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles. The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures.
It must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today.
Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions.
Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Spring Fest and Ego Days are here at Lowe's.
Right now, get a free select Ego 56-volt battery with purchase of a select trimmer, blower, or mower kit. Plus, shop today for new and exclusive items you need for your lawn.
So get ready for spring with the latest in innovation from Ego, the number one rated brand in cordless outdoor power. Only at Lowe's.
We help. You save.
Offer valid through 4-2. Se varies by location while supplies last.
Hey, it's Amy Brown. Join me in supporting St.
Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the 2025 iHeart Country Festival in Austin, Texas on May 3rd, hosted by Bobby Bones. We're going to hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney.
Take action now to support St. Jude and help cure childhood cancer, and you're going to be entered for a chance to win.
Visit iHeartCountryTrip.com to learn more. I'm back with my dad's old ambulance partner, Mike.
I tell him what I know about Ken's mafia past, and he sits there calmly listening. It's mostly me talking, and I can't tell one way or the other if he's heard any of this before.
He's certainly not telling me if he has. How do you feel in me telling you these things about his mob life? Well, I'm not surprised.
You know, none of it's shocking to me. Because I, you know, I knew him at the point where he was transitioning.
You know, that's when I first met him. You know, so, I mean, I knew he was way different than the other people I was working with.
You know. But I saw all the upside potential of your dad.
You know. because he was way different than the other people I was working with, you know.
But I saw all the upside potential of your dad, you know,

because he was really good at being a paramedic and a firefighter.

Amidst all of the awful things that happened in Ken's life,

and perhaps maybe even because of it,

he threw his entire self into his work as a firefighter. He had a passion for it, you know.
He was really good at it, and he loved doing it. I dug up some articles from local papers mentioning Ken's exploits as a first responder.
One article from 1992 interviews Ken, who was fighting for fair pay for his fellow medics. And in a sort of twist of fate, another article from the Daily Herald in 1991 mentions Ken as the first firefighter on the scene of a fatal plane crash at DuPage Airport.
Just a little over a decade after that American Airlines crash that inspired Ken to join the fire department in the first place. You could see that he liked it, you know, that he appreciated the fact that he had helped somebody.
There were many occasions over the years where I got to see him in action at the station, on ride-alongs, neighborhood events. I witnessed firsthand the respect of his peers and his chief.

One of my favorite memories of all time was probably in third or fourth grade when my dad was invited to speak in front of my whole school about fire safety.

After the speech, there was a Q&A with the students,

and one smart-ass kid takes the microphone,

points at my dad's pants, and goes,

Did you know your fly was open?

So my dad looks down, and sure enough, his zipper has been open this entire time. So he just looks at this kid right in the eye, and he goes, I just wanted to make sure you all were paying attention.
And he zips it back up, and the whole place just went nuts. I mean, people were crying, laughing, the kids, the teachers, everyone.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen. The firefighting thing, he liked that more than I did.
I mean, sure, you know, it's a lot of fun. It's exciting.
You know, there's always the thrill of, are you going to get blown up or not? You know, so, I mean, it's kind of an adrenaline rush kind of thing. But your dad was more, way more into the firefighting thing than I ever was.
He always wanted to be the first guy in, get there and get his air pack on and get in before anybody else could get in there. He always wanted to be at the front of the line for that.
I remember a couple times he got hurt at fire scenes and I was just like, geez, settle down, man. You don't have to be the first guy in all the time.
And he was like, I got to get in there. He had to be the first guy in, you know.
He really wanted that. And then sometime in the late 90s, the guys at the station had just finished their dinner when the alarm bells sounded and a call came through that would forever change Kenny's life and set in motion a disastrous chain of events that would eventually destroy our entire family.
The scariest call I ever did in my life. We had a fire at a, it was a grocery store, but it used to be a bowling alley.
So it had the bowstring truss roof, you know, the arched roof like that. And it was very high roof in the place.
So they had to get a 30-foot extension ladder to get up there. And this 30-foot banger weighs a ton.
It's like three guys got to carry it, you know. And they had one guy healing it, and that was your dad.
And they had this firefighter in full gear in an air pack going up into the scuttle. And he was a big guy.
He was probably a 260-pound firefighter, and he had 50 pounds of gear in an air pack. So 310 pounds you're talking about.
And he was all the way up at the tip of the ladder, going in the scuttle. And the ladder kicked out.
And it fell on your dad. And the firefighter came down, and he landed right on top of your dad.
And he is down on the ground, and he looked like shit. He was gray.
And I thought, oh, my God, he's really hurt bad, you know. And it was probably the worst call I've ever done in my life because I was so emotionally invested in the call.
And everybody's running around and screaming, and people are flying back and forth. And I'm telling them, slow down.
They're, like, like running with the stretcher I didn't want them to dump it over and hurt them again and so everything got under control we got them in the ambulance and uh my partner Joe was on the phone to the hospital and your dad's tell him he started coming around a bit and he says tell him this tell him that tell him this and my partner hands the phone to your dad and says do you want to talk to him or do you want me to talk to him he's still bossing everybody around and your dad goes no go ahead that's when I knew he was going to be okay.

But it was really scary because I've seen a lot of people look

like he looked at that time

that have died on us on the way to the hospital.

So it was really scary, you know.

The doctor even said that, you know,

if he hadn't been in such good physical condition at the time

that... If he hadn't been in such good physical condition at the time,

that he would have never survived it. Fractured my left hand, fractured my right and left knee, some damage to my face and skull, and had some surgeries surgeries got a lot of painkillers and you know where the hell have you been my whole life you know took a really liking to that took a really liking to painkillers and then that's when I started having problems with my addiction was after getting those pain pills,

after those surgeries,

catalyzed my addiction. was after getting those pain pills,

after those surgeries.

Catalyzed my addiction and then fueled it after that,

after it got catalyzed.

In the years following the accident,

the painkillers became a constant companion.

And as the addiction got worse,

Ken gradually shrank inward and distanced himself from his family and friends. I knew he was struggling with stuff, but I couldn't tell what.
And I didn't really ask him because I felt like he wasn't going to tell me anyway. You know, he likes to play his cards very close to the chest when it comes to his personal life and feelings and what he's going through.
When the pills stopped being enough to satisfy his addiction, he turned to heroin, which isn't as easy to hide. You would look at his arms.
They were clear as day. You could see the veins from his fucking, his inner elbow all the way down to y seguiendo hacia su espalda, eran tan grossos.

Él sabía que algo estaba pasando, ¿sabes?

Es horrible. Me siento muy sola.
Me da vergüenza hablar de eso. ¿Cómo ayudaré a mis hijos si no puedo con mi vida? No recuerdo la vida sin estrés.
No recuerdo la vida sin estrés. Cuando tus pensamientos y tus emociones te sobrepasen, pide ayuda.
Estamos aquí para acompañarte. CalHOPE tiene recursos gratuitos, seguros y confidenciales para cuidar de tu salud mental y la de otras personas.
Encuentra ayuda en calhope.com. Cal Hope has free, safe and confidential resources to take care of your mental health and the of other people.

Find help at cal save. Offer valid through Fortu.
Selection varies by location while supplies last. Hey, it's Amy Brown.
Join me in supporting St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the 2025 iHeart Country Festival in Austin, Texas on May 3rd, hosted by Bobby Bones.
We're going to hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney. Take action now to support St.
Jude and help cure childhood cancer,

and you're going to be entered for a chance to win.

Visit iHeartCountryTrip.com to learn more.

Whether you're a homeowner creating your dream space

or a pro managing multiple projects,

discover a new way to shop at Ferguson Home,

where great ideas become stunning spaces.

Visit FergusonHome.com to explore the best selection

of bath, kitchen, and lighting products.

Or book an appointment at one of our showrooms

where you can experience products firsthand

Thank you. I don't need to rehash the pain we all went through during this period of self-destruction, but as the years went on and the family fell apart, Holly, Corey, and myself eventually separated ourselves from Ken physically and emotionally.
After all the pain and abuse, what else could we do? I'd been estranged from him for nearly five years when he finally reached out to me for help in 2013. And I checked him into rehab in California.
And I always wondered, why now? What change had occurred to make him suddenly surrender himself to getting clean? I think Ken's brother Rich may have the answer. Right before he moved out to California, he called me up and we were talking and I just knew it.
I don't want to call it the twin thing because we never had that. But there was something about his tone, something.

And I left work.

And I went to the apartment.

And I walked in.

And he was sitting there in a chair.

And that pistol was sitting right next to him.

And I looked at him and I said, what are you doing?

I don't remember the response.

But I said, you should probably give me that. And he said, I think you're right.
So as far as I'm concerned, I saved his life because he was in a really bad place. Over the last 10 years, as my dad sobered up and embarked on the long, painful path to healing, he began to open up to me for the first time.
And even though the truth is so much more fucked up than I could have ever imagined, I'm thankful for this opportunity to finally see the man I call Father for who he really is. I just hope that God I get forgiven for this.
I just hope he can forgive me.

I really do. Because I think about it all the time, man.
I regret every second of it. Be careful of the choices, people.
Be careful of the choices you make. They can come back and haunt you a lifetime.
I'm

Throughout this entire process, I have been

constantly shocked about how I can still be constantly shocked. Whenever I learn some new

awful truth about the world my dad lived in, my first reaction is, how is that even possible?

But then a second, even more powerful reality hits me, that I have been completely sheltered

Thank you. first reaction is, how is that even possible? But then a second, even more powerful reality hits me,

that I have been completely sheltered from the evil that plagued my dad's entire existence.

If his goal was to keep this world away from us, then he succeeded. And despite everything else,

I'm grateful to him for that much. I also want to express my deep gratitude to the people featured in this story, who were so gracious and brave to open themselves up to me during these difficult interviews.
To my amazing mom for her strength and perseverance during these last 20 years, as she watched her life crumble around her. To my best friend and my brother, Corey, who still carries the weight of our father's abuse.
To my Uncle Rich, for crawling back into his painful past and shedding some light on their own abusive childhood. And, of course, for saving my dad's life that day in 2013.
To Jeff Cohn of the Chicago Tribune for sharing his unmatched expertise on all things mafia. And finally, to my dad's old buddy, Mike, who also wanted to share some words of gratitude.
He changed my life, just being friends with him. he helped me stand up for myself and be more assertive in my life and changed my life you know forever and when I was going into treatment center and I was struggling I went and sat and talked to your dad and he probably doesn't even remember it.
It really helped me get on the path I needed to be on. He really steered me in the right direction, which is kind of funny, because he was probably messed up at the time himself, but put me on the path for my recovery.
I wish he understood how important that he is to me. I'm basically here because of him, but he doesn't probably realize that.
So, where does that leave us now? Who the hell knows? I suppose it depends on who you ask. My brother Corey and my Uncle Rich have already made up their minds.

With everything in consideration, I just, I can't, you know, be the better man and forgive and forget.

I just can't do it because there's just too many things for too long.

And I just can't do it.

My mom has a similar take, but focuses on the good.

I have many videotapes to look back on, on the happy times. I don't have any tapes of the horrible times.

Thanks, Mom.

Which makes me happy.

For me, I've come to peace with the past.

It has tempered me, made me stronger.

I am not ashamed of it.

I do not run from it.

I look it right in the eyes and embrace it,

learn from it, share it with the world.

And one day, when he's old enough,

I will share it with my son

and he will know how far we have come together

in spite of it.

That is the real legacy of my father

and that is what I will choose to remember. I'm I'm I'm Crook County is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Tenderfoot TV in association with Common Enemy.
All episodes are produced, written, and hosted by me, Kyle Tequila. Executive producers are Donald Albright and Payne Lindsey.
Original score by Makeup and Vanity Set. Main title song is called Crush by the band Starry Eyes.
End credit song is called Dying Islands, also by the band Starry Eyes. Sound mix by Cooper Skinner.
For more podcasts like Crook County, search Tenderfoot TV on your favorite podcast app or visit tenderfoot.tv. Thanks for listening to season one of Crook County.
It's been an honor to share this story with you. But don't worry,

there's more to come. My heart's down there to the shore The deepest blues are calling The deepest blues are calling me Stars are cold tonight Indifferent to everyone And even now I can't believe Just how easy it was to do all the things I've done I lay awake at night Trying to slay these ghosts And the worst part is that nobody knows Are killing enemies Alone Dying islands fade away Leaving me alone at sea You We are now at the University of Minnesota.
Just let me go, they're calling The deepest blues are calling me

Oh, love I made me to stars so long away. Now finally he's free and he burns down.
God, I once made a way Die

Islands I once gave her way La Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Últimos Días Me siento muy sola.

Me da vergüenza hablar de eso.

¿Cómo ayudaré a mis hijos si no puedo con mi vida?

No recuerdo la vida sin estrés.

No recuerdo la vida sin estrés.

Cuando tus pensamientos y tus emociones te sobrepasen, pide ayuda.

Estamos aquí para acompañarte.

CalHOPE tiene recursos gratuitos, seguros y confidenciales para cuidar de tu salud mental y la de otras personas. Encuentra ayuda en calhope.org.
Looking to reach your clients' investment goals with confidence? At T. Rowe Price, we know that takes curiosity.
Our active ETFs are designed to outperform the index by asking the questions others don't to get you the solutions you need. Crafted with rigorous research and expertise, our active approach to ETFs means we're always ready to help clients thrive in the face of change.
We ask better questions that can lead to better solutions. Learn more at TROPrice.com slash explore ETFs.
TROowe Price Investment Services, Inc. Distributor.
On April 11th, Drop is... Excuse me, I really need your help.
Are you okay? A killer thriller. Someone wants me to kill my Dave.
Why are you doing this? Why does he have to die? Experience the movie that has critics and audiences on the edge of their seats. It someone in this restaurant all right pretty hardcore first date yeah drop only in theaters april 11th made to pg-13 may be inappropriate for children under 13 women's health affects more than women in fact research from the world economic forum and mckenzie suggests that closing the women's health gap could boost the global economy by $1 trillion annually by 2040.

Join Dr. Jen Ashton and her guests as they examine the women's health gap through specific topics like maternal health, menopause, heart disease, and more.

Listen to the new season of The Visibility Gap, a podcast presented by Cigna Healthcare.