Why Most Business Coaches Get It Wrong | Brandon Bowsky DSH #1379

No matter what.

I used to go on like four dates a week to the same restaurant when I was like in my looking for love phase and it was just qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify.

And I knew the food was going to be good every day.

Yeah.

And so I did that for years.

The staff didn't snitch on you.

There was one time,

so

the worst thing that's ever happened is, oh my God, it's so good to see you again, but not to me, to the girl.

No.

All right, guys.

Third time's a charm.

Brandon Bowski back on the show.

Coming straight off the bathroom a little experiment yesterday.

Yeah, it was fun.

It sounds way worse than it is.

Yeah, but basically, I had an event last night, guys, and this man was in the bathroom for how long?

It was almost two hours.

Two hours.

Give him a little lecture, right?

Well, it started off with a guy that was like a dude that was in my Discord the past couple of years.

And then out of nowhere, he had like a few friends with him.

And just, hey, bro, so good to meet you.

Can I get some advice?

I was like, yeah, sure.

And then the friend needed advice.

The friend needed advice.

Friend needed advice.

And I didn't realize how long it was.

I got a cigar from the bathroom attendant dude and, you know, whatever.

So I'm sitting here and I didn't realize how usually I smoke a cigar in my backyard.

It's like half an hour.

Yeah.

It's like two hours.

It's like the biggest cigar I've ever smoked.

I mean, it was crazy.

And so about an hour in, there's people that have gone to the bathroom twice.

Like they broke the seal and they had to go again.

They're like, you're still giving a lecture.

You're still giving a sermon.

It was pretty wild.

I could tell you're passionate about teaching people, though.

Yeah, I mean, that's the plan this year is build the community, really go all in on that.

The few thousand people that are in it already, grandfathered in, but everything else is paywall and just lots of business coaching, lots of advice, lots of helping people grow.

And that's kind of what I want to do with my life now.

Well, you've done the hard part because there's a lot of coaches that don't have the results yet, but you actually have results.

So.

Yeah, I've been blessed.

You know, I've had really good teams.

I've had really good opportunities and I worked really hard.

But I think that you hit a nail on the head.

Most people telling you about the stuff have never done the stuff.

And I think it's a big problem.

And it leads to a lot of bad advice and a lot of people failing that could have otherwise been successful if they had good advice.

And for me, it's not like, I don't want to trade my time for money.

I have a lot of friends that do that, that do the, oh, 10, 20K an hour coaching stuff.

I've done consulting for like 10, 25 grand an hour, depending on the subject matter.

But that's not really what I want to do.

I'd rather charge people a few hundred bucks or a couple hundred bucks a month to be in a group session where everybody can benefit.

Because when I used to do one-on-one coaching, what I found, this is like 21, 22.

What I found was everybody asked the same questions.

Eventually they get into like niche down stuff, but at the beginning, everyone asks the same shit.

So the very basic stuff, if I get asked that and I have a thousand people listening or I have one person listening, it is the exact same output for me.

I don't have to do any extra work, but now I can impact a thousand people instead of one.

Right.

That makes a lot of sense.

I also like that you coach on what you specialize in because a lot of people coach these fads, like dropshipping or whatever and trends, and they know that shit doesn't work, bro.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, 100%.

I mean, they know that they're scamming people.

Pretty much, because by the time they're teaching it, it doesn't work.

Yeah.

Well, a lot of people do the thing where they teach people stuff that they did once that worked one time and they show you the screenshot over and over and over.

Or they just tell you, look at the thing that works and it never actually worked in the first place.

The screenshot of their revenue, their gross revenue.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm okay with people that have high revenue.

We were talking about this last night in the bathroom.

This sounds so bad.

I'm okay with people that are like, rev, rev, rev.

A lot of people that are chasing revenue never make money because they don't understand that eventually you hit diminishing returns and it starts to actually lose you money to keep growing and growing and growing.

And if there's no exitable company there, there's no like potential for getting out of it, you should focus on profit.

Everybody has this dream of selling a company.

Most companies aren't salable.

Like they're not things that people want to purchase.

So all these people that are like, I'm going to sell my company.

It's like, for fucking what?

You wash cars, bro.

Nobody's buying your car wash business unless it's a PPF company and you've got 10,000 clients and they're like, yeah, we got this new PPF.

It takes three seconds to apply and we can sell it to everybody, you know?

And those strategic acquisitions, they never happen for average Joes.

So people live in these pipe dreams.

Would you ever get into retail or brick and mortar, like physical stuff?

I have done some in the past.

I failed miserably with a biohacking gym back in 2020 during COVID.

Lost over a million dollars on that.

Was that just bad timing, you think, though?

I think it was bad timing and I didn't try.

You know, I think to be successful, you have to be really virtually all in or close to all in on something, or you've got to have.

multiple projects, but some of them run autonomously or semi-autonomously and then you can focus.

I was not focused.

I was like, life was collapsing, COVID happened, lost millions of dollars, and I'm just bleeding more money in this gym every month.

And eventually I had to pull the ripcord.

But I also started during COVID where I thought people would want to go to the gym at the end of COVID and I would just tough it out.

People were still afraid of gyms for some reason, just like they were afraid of fucking grocery stores.

A lot of programming around that time.

Oh, yeah.

I almost got the jab, man.

Yeah.

They almost got me.

Yeah.

I, well, my girl wanted to get it.

I'm like, I really don't trust it.

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And I was close.

Dude, a lot of people that I know did it.

And I get into arguments with people all the time.

They're like, you weren't protecting people.

I'm like, who's dead?

Who's alive?

I mean, just the travel thing was annoying.

Dude, the traveling was the worst.

I got trapped in Paris once.

I was supposed to be in Dubai.

I was a whole long story, but I was supposed to be in Dubai the following morning.

And the red eye from like Paris to Dubai or whatever it was, was it red-eye?

I don't remember.

Anyway, it got messed up because I didn't have a vax in mid-2022.

Damn.

We're talking two years after the pandemic.

They changed the rules day of.

My travel agent didn't tell me.

And I get on the plane or go to get on the plane.

And they're like, where's your vaccine check-in?

And I'm like, what are you talking about?

And they're like, oh, did you have a test?

And I'm like, what?

They're like, yeah, you have to have either a vaccine check-in with this approved thing or a test.

And I was just like, no, I don't have a COVID test in quarter one or quarter two of 2022.

No, that's not a thing.

So they were like, yeah, go get one and come back.

So I'm in like a foreign, I hate, I don't hate French people, but I don't really like French people very much.

They're very rude.

They're not nobody.

Especially to Americans.

And that's very nice.

And so they were pretty much just like, go fuck yourself, American fag.

Like,

rough.

Okay, cool.

You guys talking shit to me.

Yikes.

So I'd like stash my bags, go get a COVID test, come back.

Mind you, I don't speak French.

So I'm Google translating my way through France, trying to get my way to Dubai.

where I'll also probably have to Google translate in my head.

I'd never been there, so I didn't know they all spoke English there.

But yeah, it was was a nice nuts.

Do you do a lot of international business?

A lot of people are trying to coach in international markets right now.

No, I mean, I can see why.

Like, there's a lot of people focusing on America, but there are other capitalist countries where it makes sense to.

For me, it's not about like, how do I make the most money?

I've already made a lot of money.

For me, it's like, how do I make the most impact and deliver the best result and the best outcome for people?

And I don't want to do it on a one-to-one basis.

And people hit me up for that all the time.

It just doesn't make sense.

It's not a good use of time.

And I don't want to trade my time for money.

Like, I want to do the calls because I want to do the calls.

Just like I sat in a bathroom instead of went around, talked to people.

Like, there was a fantastic group of people at your event last night.

I said hi to a few friends, said hi to you, you know, hung out for a few minutes, but then happened to take a piss and get a cigar.

And next thing I know, I'm giving a lecture to a bunch of young kids.

I was wondering where you went.

But that was actually the most impactful thing that I've done in a long time.

Like that was, I left that the happiest that I had felt in a very long time.

Wow.

To the point where like I texted my entire core team at two of my companies and was like, yo, I feel so much better about this mission and this next phase of evolution now as like me as a person.

Yeah.

That's so fascinating because you made tens of millions of dollars, but just inspiring 10 people in a bathroom is like you're passionate about it.

It wasn't even 10.

It was like, well, maybe with the people that walked in and out, but, you know, it was like four kids.

Oh, wow.

These were, these are 18 to 23-year-old kids that are all doing seven figures or high six figures.

And I'm just like, dude.

I have siblings that are your age, a little older, and they are not there.

Right.

Like, just, I'm sitting here like, do not give money to women, like all the typical stuff that I've ever said.

Here's all the advice.

Hope your voice memoing this.

So you're giving dating advice too?

I gave all advice.

I was like, do not fucking date until you are 25, 26.

Make sure they're 25, 26, because that's when they realize life sucks.

Damn, 25, 26 is pretty late to start dating.

Well, I mean, at their age, they could take so.

Okay.

I'm not a Gary V.

Patience guy.

but they have a lot of time.

They're very young.

Like these kids are over 10 years younger than me.

And one thing that I did that was messed up early on was I was chasing love and money and success and internal fulfillment.

You can't have all the things at once if you're going from zero.

You have to pick one at a time and check the boxes because you're not going to be focused on accomplishing any one goal.

It's just like anything in life.

And I think if I was 20 to 23 years old or even the 18 year old kid who had a good idea, my thing would be, how do I make the most money right now so that I could be set up for the future to have a healthy family, a healthy relationship, to not be stressed and to really like live the best life that I could.

Not to say like, if you meet an amazing woman, you shouldn't date her and marry her.

I mean, of course, like 100%.

That is the goal.

That's my goal.

That should be everybody's goal.

I mean,

everybody's to each their own, but.

I think it's really important.

But I don't think that at 22 years old, when you're making that type of money, a lot of women are coming around for the right reasons because at that age, it's most people's party age.

If you choose to lock in when everyone else is partying, you're not going to be like everyone else.

The reason I like age 26 is it's the point where everybody realizes life doesn't actually like just

give you things.

Life kind of sucks unless you make it good.

And so if you're able to show people, hey, life could actually be good, those people are going to stay around you, whether you're a woman or a man.

If you've got your shit together in your mid-20s, late 20s, you become like level 11 attractive.

Now you just have to be a good person.

Right.

Also, age 26 is when the brain stops developing fully.

So you could make rational decisions.

That prefrontal corner.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not opposed to it.

I did that.

I locked in ages, yeah, college up till 26.

I wish I did.

I locked in.

I mean, I was still dating, but I put the business first those years.

And shout out to Arielle for like sacrificing that.

Yeah, that's awesome.

You guys have a good thing.

Yeah.

It's hard to find because now you're rich.

So dating is like, damn, she wasn't with me from the start.

It must be a lot tougher, right?

It is very hard.

I was broke when I met.

It's a lot of sifting.

but you can figure out who's there for the right and wrong reasons really easily well you're in miami so for laundry

similar stuff i don't leave my house oh you don't yeah my dating strategy is mutuals only interesting yeah only mutuals i've had uh three girls slide in from my discord though which is weird what yeah just from like random business coaching calls discord one of them was for sure a gold digger one of them was one of the most beautiful women i've ever met in my life just wasn't really like a fit and then the other one i was like yeah i don't know i was never really worked out timing wise Could you date a woman that was broke?

Yeah.

Oh my God, dude.

Most of the women that I have dated have not been like rich by any means.

I don't think I've actually ever dated a rich woman.

Interesting.

So that doesn't matter to you?

No.

Fucking matters.

Who cares?

So what do you prioritize?

Who they are as a person.

And then do they do something that brings them fulfillment?

Okay.

Like it's really important that you have things that you like to do, like this.

And your wife gives you the freedom to do this.

She could be like, I don't like that you do that.

Right.

And then that could create a conflict, but she's very supportive.

And you guys have a very good relationship and good relationship dynamic.

That's what it's all about.

It's, do you have a thing you like?

Does she have a thing she likes?

And then do you guys together like your life?

Are you happy alone?

And then are you happy together?

Most people struggle to be happy alone.

True.

I am most people.

I'm an only child, so I think I had to figure it out.

quicker than most.

Yeah.

Because I was on my own a lot.

But I know some of my friends struggle to like just be alone in a room.

Six.

Dude, I am one of those people.

I mean, I have people around me.

I was like, chef, staff yeah team

like i always have people around so i'm not all alone but i'm not like a very good sit i can't go on vacations alone and have a good time i'm not no hell no oh this is cool to look at like but some people love that really international travel alone yeah i have some one of my exes was like you need to travel alone i'm like that sounds miserable no traveling is different for me yeah like i want to i like the idea of making memories with people because you're going to forget your own memories one day but somebody can remind you of them and a friend will tell you like hey remember that time we did that thing and to to you, you're like, I forgot we even did that.

But that's their fondest memory with you.

Right.

That's a bar right there.

I love that.

Yeah.

Your friends will have your back on those memories.

100%.

That's cool.

Now, when it comes to buying women's stuff, like material objects, when does that happen for you?

It doesn't happen.

If we're going to an event and I have a nice outfit and I need an outfit that matches that outfit, sure.

If it's a birthday or...

Christmas, sure.

I see so many guys do this.

The age of just simping over women financially is stupid.

If you want to shower a woman with experiences and affection and quality time and do things for them that make them feel special all day,

if you're having to buy a woman, and I have friends that do this, and I'm so transparent about it, like the way we're talking about it right now, I tell them they're fucking idiots.

Like you should not have to buy women things to receive love.

And women that are like, gifts are my love language.

No, you just want to use a man.

Because if gifts were your love language, I could get you a $1 gift and you'd be happy because of the thought.

You're not going to be happy with the thought.

You're going to be happy with the Louis Vuitton.

Facts.

And that's most of women.

And women can say whatever the fuck they want.

I've talked about this before and get tons of hate, whatever.

The reality is a lot of women do just want stuff, but there are also a lot of really good women that don't care about stuff.

And it's important to know like what you're looking for.

Like I have a friend who is totally okay.

He was married for a long time, totally okay with just buying love.

He just wants to buy love.

He is happy to provide.

He just wants to feel loved.

And he's so authentic and honest about it.

And it breaks my heart.

But at the same time, it's his life.

What am I going to tell him to do?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I guess some people don't know how to get love without spending money, right?

I think people get conditioned to it, especially people that get sucked into like strip club life or, you know, sugar daddy or whatever.

That type of thing.

I've never understood that.

Yeah.

The sugar daddy thing makes no sense.

Like prostitution, at least I understand the transaction.

Sugar daddy shit.

It's like, hello, I'd like to give you something with absolutely nothing in return for you

maybe one day i'll get something

that's like the only fans life too yeah it's terrible it's craziest thing ever yeah i'm like i know girls that have done it and i'm like make your bag but these guys are fucking idiots could you date a girl that did that profession i don't care it depends depends depends is she having sex on camera or just being naked on camera just being naked don't care really who the fuck cares you go okay look You go out in a bathing suit.

Half bathing suits are being naked these days.

Pretty much.

So it's like, all right, cool.

cool i could literally look at most girls instagrams and be like okay cool i pretty much know what you look like naked now you know what i mean yeah so what's the difference now at a point i mean you know there are pros and cons to it but if it's genuinely enjoyed and

the person doesn't want to do anything else and that's what they want to do and they make a ton of money or if it's a weird niche like

You know, I don't know.

Yeah.

I would not write that off, but it's not my, I'm not going after it, You know, makes sense.

Who pays on the first date?

It depends.

Who invites?

And there are times where women have invited me on dates.

Okay.

So if that happens, you want to split it or how does that work?

If that happens, I want to see what they do.

Not because I expect them to pay.

I just want to see what they do.

It's just interesting.

I've had women ask me to split bills before.

I usually always pay.

Unless I'm having a bad time.

If I'm having a really bad time or like there is, this is a terrible mismatch and I got sold a bill of goods.

That's

because they were splitting it in that case i might have to leave i might just like slip a couple hundred dollar bills on the table and just have to leave if they if it's just not it and it's like terrible i've had that happen i mean why waste time like hey this is gonna be a shitty fucking meal for both of us i'm just gonna throw some money down call it a day it was great meeting you yeah but that that only happened twice in my life out of like hundreds and hundreds do you ever make them pay out of principle just out of respect uh if i know that it's not going anywhere and i realize that this was like a free meal to them yeah i make them pay oh really 100

How do you bring that up in conversation?

I don't.

You just know, like you can tell the vibe.

Like when you're there, you know if like this is a date to go somewhere or if this is like free meal number three for the day.

If it's free meal number three for the day, just got 50% off, but it ain't free.

That's hilarious.

I'd love to see that conversation.

It's really funny to watch.

Do you think that's a good date setting like restaurant?

I prefer activities, but I think most people are accustomed to restaurants and it's easy because you have to eat anyway.

So if you pick a restaurant that you know you like, you're going to have a good time no matter what.

I used to go on like four dates a week to the same restaurant when I was like in my looking for love phase.

And it was just qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify.

And I knew the food was going to be good every day.

Yeah.

And so I did that for years.

The staff didn't snitch on you.

There was one time.

So

the worst thing that's ever happened is, oh my God, it's so good to see you again, but not to me, to the girl.

No.

Oh, that's awkward.

I can't believe you're back so soon.

Oh, yeah.

That's awkward.

It was bad.

You ended that one quick.

No, it was just like, I come here a lot.

Oh, with girls, with girls, with friends.

You know?

Do you see any entitlement in these younger girls, like my generation, like early 20s?

How old are you?

I'm 28, but I guess like millennials.

Okay, I was going to say.

Yeah, I think you're, you aren't not millennial, are you?

I think I'm on the year of either millennial or gen Z.

You're the Z cusp.

Yeah.

I'm on 97.

I'm toward the end, uh, the end of the millennial thing at 92.

So I might be Gen Z.

You might be.

I don't think it's necessarily entitlement in any generation.

I think it's upbringing.

Like some people are just raised properly and some aren't.

And some people are raised improperly and then grow up.

Like I didn't grow up with money and I don't feel entitled to anything from anyone.

I'm extremely grateful when people give or do things for me.

And, you know, I kind of expect that to be reciprocated.

It's not always.

Some people just expect stuff.

Yeah.

But I don't think it has to do with the generation.

I just think it has to do with how they were raised.

Interesting.

Because a lot of hate hate I see on Gen Z is like we're addicted to our phones.

We're not at present.

So are millennials.

Everyone's addicted to their phones.

Everyone wants dopamine.

It's just human nature.

Yeah, I agree.

What about these communication issues?

Like, do you think there's a lot of issues when it comes to texting, ghosting?

I don't think the go.

I'm fucking really bad at texting.

If I don't want to talk, you get like one word, or I'll say like, ha ha, ha ha, and repeat.

Oh, the emoji thing.

I'll do the laugh emoji.

I'll do ha.

I just will literally type ha ha.

And And I've realized sometimes I've literally typed ha ha three messages in a row.

I've gotten called out by girls for it because I'm busy and I'm just looking at this shit like, haha,

I don't know what the fuck to say to you, bitch.

Yeah.

I don't think there's communication issues necessarily in generations, but there's like

there's issues with things in common.

Like I realized I could not date young women, like younger women like that.

in the mid-20s, early 20s, maybe a year and a half ago when I was in LA.

And at the time, I was 31, but I met this chick who was like 22.

She was partying in Miami.

We hooked up.

I happened to be getting tattooed.

And I flew back from like Santa,

I don't know what the hell it is.

One of these places in NorCal.

And I, I flew back to LA.

And I had a jet that was taking me, whatever, seven o'clock.

And this girl's sister posted they were at a beach and she's an awesome girl, like super sweet girl.

Her sister's really cool too.

And I was like, oh, you guys are at this beach.

And I was like, yeah.

She was like, oh, sweet.

Well, what are you guys doing there?

She's like, we live here.

Oh, shit.

Let's go get coffee.

So we all go get coffee.

We're catching up.

And I was just like, man, this girl is absolutely beautiful.

Super cool.

Super chill.

Yo, you should come back to LA.

When?

45 minutes.

I'll push the plane for 30.

So she comes back.

And after like two days, I was like, man, this girl's just bored.

Like she is, there's nothing in common.

Like me, I could pace around on my phone, talk on the phone all day.

You have to entertain yourself.

It's like part of dating me is you have to be able to entertain yourself, do something, have hobbies, find things.

I felt like I wanted to be like, do you want a fucking iPad, sweetie?

Like, it was that.

And I think that's the biggest problem is you just have nothing in common with people when there's such a big gap.

I don't know how Leo does it.

Who?

Huh?

Leo?

DiCaprio.

Oh, DiCaprio?

Yeah.

I don't know who he dates, but.

No, I think his hard cap was 25.

What?

I'm pretty sure that was like a thing people knew for a long time.

Maybe I'm misremembering.

No, I think now that you said that.

Yeah.

Just confirmed it.

So he only dates a woman under 25.

I think 25 is when he cuts them off, which is crazy.

Cause imagine he's now like got to be 50.

yeah

so they're half your age what could you have in common with them other than sex well i see this argument from tate he'll say he wants the innocence and by the time women are 30s 40s um they're just uh destroyed yeah do you see that well i've never dated a woman that's 40.

yeah i think the most i've gotten is a year above my own age no cougars no it's just um

I'm very superficial, and I think that as women age, some women age incredibly well.

Right.

Like, I actually, no, I've been with a woman that was 37 when I was 30,

but she looked like she was 25.

Was she Asian?

No.

She was white.

Really?

Yes.

Blonde?

No.

Redhead.

Oh, redhead.

Okay.

I don't know if that has anything to do with that.

No, no, because they say blonde age.

Fat on average.

Oh, well, I'll be a dick.

Well, they bleach their hair.

You never know if it's really, they could be skewing the

stats.

But no, I don't know.

I'm just not.

I like when women are around my age or a little younger and there's a lot in common.

So it's like, dating sucks, though.

It's tough for you because you want the looks, you want the intelligence.

Yeah, I need pretty much all the boxes checked.

Yeah.

For wifey.

Yeah, but you know, we'll just keep going until we get there.

Yeah.

You said you want to get married earlier, right?

Oh, yeah, it's the goal.

Yeah.

You want kids too?

Yeah.

Little bowskies running around.

Do a couple mini ones.

They're going to be animals.

We'll see.

Because you got a little bit of a late start, right?

Your entrepreneurial career.

Well, I dropped out at 15, but I didn't make money until 26, really.

26.

First million at 26, yeah.

And these days, that's considered late, I think.

Yeah, I think so, too.

If you're, if you're hustling, like if you're really grinding, I mean, I didn't have anybody like really to show me what to do, which is also why I like to help people.

Yeah.

What's the main focus for you this year?

Because I know you're coming off a rough year, right?

Business-wise?

This year, it's 100% just build the community, get a lot of people.

I mean, super transparent.

I don't want to do anything other than help people.

Like, I genuinely would like to help people grow and build their businesses.

In order to do that, you need money to be able to dedicate to making content, to being out there, to building the community.

Because to make the maximum amount of impact, it's not like throw a fucking course online and teach a bunch of people some dumb shit that they could hopefully monetize.

To me, it's about every single day, people have problems, questions, and things that they need to learn.

And networking could help them, whether it's virtual or in person.

or just asking questions to someone who's done it before.

Or maybe I haven't done it, but I know someone who has.

So I happen to learn the information.

And if I don't know, I'll say, hey, go follow this guy or check that guy out.

Like that guy would know.

I am not one of those people who's like, I'm an expert in everything.

I'm an expert in a handful of things.

I know a lot about a few dozen things, but there's some shit I know nothing about.

I'm not going to pretend, you know?

Yeah.

But I think I can help the majority of people, I would say, in business.

And so that's the goal is to get tens of thousands of people into a community, obviously paid, right?

There's a financial component, but you know, there's a icky guy.

It's what is it?

It's a Japanese concept.

It's

what you like to do or what brings you fulfillment what adds value to the world what you can get paid for there's one other one i don't remember all of them but those are the important ones to me it's like i need to do something that provides value to the world that makes money and that makes me feel fulfilled

and that to me like last night the hour and a half in the bathroom coaching a bunch of random people like that is what makes me you were smiling the whole time i saw videos of you yeah that's what makes me the happiest because it's like i know that i made an impact like i know these kids lives will be altered yeah think about how they'll change in 10 years oh dude i mean change in a week i gave them like direct, actionable stuff they can do tomorrow.

That's fire.

Cause a lot of people are coaching philosophy.

Yeah.

Well, look, because they haven't done it.

Yeah.

So it's like hypotheticals.

Yes.

Let me tell you what your mindset should be like.

I don't really know what it's like to wake up and have a bad day because, well, every day is a bad day.

But if I wanted to have a better day, I would just dump my head in a bowl of ice water because I saw someone do it on the internet.

Yeah.

That'll be $25,000, please.

Like

manifestation coaches.

Yeah.

A lot of interesting people.

You know,

there's been some interesting characters on your pod lately.

I'll put it that way.

Yeah, very.

I think it's fascinating.

I like getting all perspectives.

What I really like is I like that, and I'm not saying anybody in particular, I like that people are capable of being so delusional.

And listen, there's good delusion, bad delusion.

Good delusion is like, I believe in myself with no reason to.

Bad delusion, I'm not, again, I'm not going to comment on any particular guests, but there have been some fucking strange guests on lately.

And look, I had the guy that,

I forgot his name and I feel terrible.

The urine guy.

Troy Casey or Josh Otto.

Josh Otto.

I like that dude.

He came over my house.

I like that dude.

Am I rubbing piss on my face?

No.

That used to be what was extreme.

Like we talk about in the big group chat.

Like that was what was extreme.

Now the extreme is like channeling the council.

Like.

The extreme has changed.

And then there's people that come on the show and they're like, what crazy shit?

And it works.

It's amazing for you.

What crazy shit can I say that's going to get somebody to like watch this and share it and be like, that guy's crazy?

I'm like, how do you monetize that?

How do you turn that into something?

Like, I don't know.

It's the 15 Minutes of Fame thing is so weird to me.

Yeah.

It's great for the show.

It's great for the show.

I'm all about longevity.

That's why I take community serious.

That's why I'm in the group chat and I have events because that's kind of what separates you from other people.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think anybody else does that with their podcast.

But the community just in general, like guys like Pace Morby, they crush it.

Oh,

one of the best in the biz.

Yeah.

By far.

Because he actually provides value.

And then you have these in-person in-person meetups.

It just makes people feel safe.

I like that you have a community full of people where you have everybody from normal, everyday people in this group chat to like A-list people.

Yeah.

And you would never know it.

Like, unless you have their number saved.

Yeah.

You don't know.

The Gurkha cigar.

Yeah.

And the founder was in the chat.

Yeah.

How cool is that?

Yeah.

He's probably coming over for dinner next week.

Oh, nice.

I love that.

My chef make some food and we just hang out.

Yeah, you never know who you'll meet.

It's maxed out in there.

So I got to message WhatsApp to see if they can increase the.

Yeah, you have that second one now.

Yeah, but it's dead because I'm in a weird spot where there's like 1,200 guests.

Yeah, not as many in the other one and the active people, but the group's awesome.

I mean, it's awesome.

And nobody else does that.

Yeah.

Well, now there's some shows doing it, but I like being the first.

I don't like copying people, dude.

Yeah, well, I mean, dude, yeah, okay.

Everyone else can do it, but your show is,

it's a good show.

Thanks, dude.

I mean, there's a reason you've been on three times.

I like you as a guest, too.

I like that you talk about everything, not just business.

Life is more than just making money.

No, 100%.

Well, most people come on and they have an agenda.

And it's like, like, this is the first time we've ever had anything to talk about, really, where you were like, hey, you want to talk about these things?

And I was like, yeah, sure.

I remember the first time you came on, you were just so vulnerable.

You were, you were mentioning all your losses or something.

And I was just like, this dude's a real one.

Like, no guest did that prior to you, to be honest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This year was major.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw you go through it and I'm like, holy shit.

Lawsuits fucked me up too.

Yeah.

They teach you a lot.

They teach you who your friends are.

They teach you who has your back behind your back.

Yeah.

And they teach you that anybody can sue you for anything and there doesn't have to be any proof of anything ever having happened.

They can just be like, you know what?

I feel like maybe you did something and I want money now.

Yeah.

And if it's the wrong person that has a ton of bankroll, they're just going to bleed you dry.

I, there are high-profile people that are doing that every day.

I mean, we see it.

Yeah.

There's been recently in our industry a big lawsuit that just ended.

Damn.

And you definitely know which one I'm talking about.

Was that the one you were involved in?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, different one, Different one.

This was two people in like the, in the very public space.

But anyway, it's just you, you start to see how much power money really has at a certain level.

Yeah.

But you also see how fragile it is, like how quickly you can lose most of what you've built.

Yeah.

That happened to me because once you have millions, you kind of assume you're set for life, I guess.

Yeah.

Because of all the programming growing up, like, oh, once I'm a millionaire, like I'm set.

And then you could lose that quick.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I have a few million dollars in salaries and I took like six months and didn't make a freaking dollar.

Sheesh, actually more than six months.

Didn't fire people.

Like I fired a few people that just were non-essential at that point when everything happened, but the majority of the team still got paid and, you know, tech projects are still getting built and the show must go on.

It's not like I'm not crying poverty.

I'm still very well situated, but you know, a big loss.

Yeah.

I made and lost all my money twice.

I mean, you put in a couple of wrong investments, a couple auto traders or whatever.

And Bobby.

A few people that got clipped on that stuff.

Right.

For me, keep it in the fucking bank or put it into assets that bring you joy that you can easily liquidate, like cars.

Bank is tricky, though, because you lose value on it.

Yeah, but you can always make more.

Yeah.

My thing is, if I have money accessible, I can go out and deploy and make more money.

If I don't have money accessible because it's tied up in a bunch of real estate, well, now my sources of income are limited.

Like if I need to drop half a million dollars to build a new tech project because I believe in it, and I'm wrong four times, that's $2 million.

You know, leverage that could be anywhere from six to ten million dollars in real estate, depending on what I'm buying and how I'm buying it.

So, a lot of people are like, dump every dollar into property.

For me, it's keep the cash ready to make moves.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Now, you've lived, I want to ask you this because you've lived in a lot of different cities and maybe even countries, right?

Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay.

But what's the best city in America in 2025 to live in?

I feel like I've lived in all the best places.

That's just me.

I think

it depends on what you're looking for, obviously.

Like, I am not in the best city for the things that I like.

I'm in the best city for the phase of life that I'm in.

Because

when you go to a place where you don't have access to all of your favorite hobbies, you have to work.

Like my favorite things, hiking and surfing, snowboarding.

If I move back to Hawaii, where I did live, right, for three years part-time, I won't get as much done.

Like I'll get a lot done and that people won't be bothering me because of the time zone difference, but I will not get as much done because I'll be out surfing and hiking every day.

Like, when I was kind of retired the first time, that's what I did.

I said, All right, I'm done working for a while.

I went to Hawaii.

But during the winter, I went to Breckenridge for three years and I had a condo in Vale at one point.

And those were kind of my favorite memories because I could just wake up and go out in my backyard.

I'm snowboarding in three minutes, five minutes, seven minutes, you know?

Yeah.

That's my favorite activities.

New York City, some of the best food in the world.

LA, eh, I wouldn't do that again.

You know, I rented like an $18 million house after I was staying in like a townhouse in mid-city for a while.

I was in Sunset Hills, massive 9,000 square foot, three-story monster of a house, never left because I don't want to go out and meet a bunch of fake people.

And I find that in a lot of big cities, Miami's like that.

That's why I live in Fort Lauderdale, even though I am going to be in Miami for six months while I do some renos.

The majority of people in big cities are not looking to have a genuine connection.

They're looking to figure out what you can do for them.

Interesting.

Why do you think that is?

Capitalism.

Climb the city.

You come to a big city.

Yeah, you come to a big city to grind.

You learn from somebody.

And I'm not naive.

There are a lot of people that hang out with me because they can learn things.

I don't care.

I hang out with them because I enjoy their company.

I think they're cool people.

It's, you know, and I don't think that they're like, oh, this guy sucks, but I could learn from him, right?

Like, I'm cool to hang out with.

I think a lot of people are constantly trying to climb in cities like New York and Miami and LA.

And,

you know, when I lived in Vegas, it was nice, but I liked Vegas because of the proximity to the things that I liked.

So it was like being in Florida where I don't have much that I like to do.

So I'm going to grind, but if I want to go do something, I'm close enough.

So I think Vegas was probably the best, most well-rounded place for me.

But it comes down to what people want.

Some people, they want to wake up in California.

They don't care.

They don't care about taxes, politics.

They care about nothing, crime rate.

They just want to be in California.

That's home to them.

That's cool.

Some people want the busyness of New York.

I mean, I did that for a long time and I enjoyed New York City, but I couldn't live there again.

I don't think I could visit there for extended periods.

Florida is cool because the weather is always warm.

You don't have a lot.

People can be like, oh, you have a lot to do.

You can go on a fucking boat and you can go to the fucking beach.

I don't like sitting on the beach.

I don't like being on boats.

So I'm here trapped.

I just lock in.

Yeah.

And then I just go places that I want to go.

It was just easier in Vegas because for me, Hawaii and Colorado and Utah and all those places, those are all closer to Vegas.

Yeah.

I might end up back there.

I got Vegas and Miami probably on my top two right now.

Yeah.

It's hard to beat those.

They're no tax.

There's a lot of movement, a lot of people trying to grind, trying to grow, trying to build and innovate.

And there's a lot of business moving there.

Exactly.

So it's like South Florida in general, tons of business, massive opportunity.

Vegas, tons of traffic, massive opportunity.

Those are definitely my two.

If you're trying to grow, those are my two places.

Yeah, because Vegas also, the cost of living is compared to other cities.

Oh, yeah, much cheaper.

The thing that I will say about Hawaii and that I loved about Hawaii is people do not ask you what you do for a living.

Really?

No, they ask you what you do for fun.

They don't care.

It's what do you like to do, not what do you do.

That's why I fell in love with Hawaii.

Interesting.

Forget the hiking, forget the surfing, the food's mid, but I fell in love with Hawaii because nobody gives a flying fuck who you are.

They don't care how much money you have.

None of that shit matters.

Just are you a good person?

And I developed some incredible lifelong friendships just being there a few months a year.

That's cool.

And since you were retired, that was part of the phase of your life where you appreciated the.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I had a fucking, in Hawaii standards, I had a mansion, like 4,800 square foot house I was living in.

But it's like people weren't, out of a party of 140 people, I met three people that will be in my life for the rest of my life.

Those three people did happen to talk to me a little bit about business.

But it wasn't, what do you do and how can you help me?

We didn't work together for years later.

They're software engineers that ended up working with me.

But like,

everybody there was just people.

And there were good people and bad people, as there always are.

It's not like you go to Hawaii and, oh, my God, everybody's still amazing.

It's paradise.

Not necessarily the case.

When you retired the first time, how unfulfilled did you feel in life?

I don't think I did.

I think,

because,

okay, I say retired.

I just didn't do anything.

I still thought.

It's like.

People say that you can't be in, like these people that go to prison.

They're like, well, you just have to think a lot stay in your head because they can't control your thoughts or whatever i don't know that's kind of how it felt it felt like i was not doing anything and i was stagnant and in that way i was unfulfilled because i wasn't creating and innovating but i was thinking and ideating and i think it gave me a lot of time to like realign a guy that totally screwed me over and dipped out when things got tough um at the very beginning when everything went down he was like you know i would love to see what happens to your brain and what problems you could solve if you just took six months off off.

And I unintentionally did.

I just didn't know what I wanted to do next last year.

So I kept building tech and working on stuff like that, but I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to do.

Interesting.

And I only just clicked on what I wanted to do literally a week ago, two weeks ago.

It was my birthday week.

And I was like, huh, if money isn't an issue.

And I mean, it's very easy to get people to pay you to join a community where they're going to get value.

Right.

That's not a hard thing to do.

It's easy.

Just run some ads.

People come in.

They get value.

They stay.

Before that, i was like i'm just going to continue to use my creative brain market other things make money have fun and then i had this like epiphany on my birthday trip in breckenridge where we got dumped on in april by the way which never happens oh it rained uh snowed oh snowed yeah yeah snowed over a foot holy the day of my birthday it was sick and i spent my birthday teaching people how to snowboard that had never snowboarded yeah like i wasn't even enjoying it for myself which was funny but It's just a testament to like who I am as a person.

And I was talking to a good friend of mine, Jimmy Contrini.

Yeah.

And Jimmy and I were talking, and I was just telling him some thoughts that I had on his business that I think helped him a bit.

He was like, Yeah, if you ever need anything, let me know.

I call him back 30 minutes later.

I'm like, Actually, I need something.

What do you think of this idea?

This just paywall business community.

I almost did it before, but I was making you know great money and I didn't really think that that was where I wanted to like shift my focus.

I feel really fulfilled when I do this.

What do you think?

And we came up with a, you know, an idea and we help each other out a lot.

He's a great dude.

10 out of 10, if anybody ever needs content, advisement, strategy advice, Jimmy is incredible.

But and he's been incredible to me.

Very, very helpful.

But I kind of came up with this idea and I was like, that is what I'm doing.

This is 100% the direction that I'm going in.

And I could do it from anywhere.

Yeah.

Where back then, when I was not working, I didn't really have an idea of what I was doing.

And I never really found one.

You know, I just went back to doing what I was already doing.

I didn't find a new form of fulfillment.

And I think that's the problem is like I was making a lot of money.

Business was good.

I'm at the top of an industry.

Everything's great, but I wasn't really happy or fulfilled.

I wasn't solving new problems.

I wasn't creating.

I wasn't doing anything meaningful.

And I think a lot of people think that money is the end product that you want, but it really isn't.

It is to a point.

But once you have enough to be comfortable coming in every year, everything beyond that is just bullshit.

Like it's good to continue to save money.

And I've obviously could save money, right?

So like I'm not like saying blow all your money.

Or I'm not saying don't try to make more money.

You should always try to make as much as you can while adding value and, you know, enjoying your life.

You You don't want to burn yourself into the ground and die to make money.

That's stupid.

But I don't think that I was fulfilled in the last couple of years of my business before, like I made more money than I had ever made.

And I did more experiences and had more cars.

I mean, jets, Bugatti, houses everywhere, all this shit.

But I wasn't finding myself to be any happier when I woke up.

And now today, I'm so much more at peace.

I wake up when I want.

I have no stress.

Nothing can go wrong.

I just wake up.

I have great people in my life.

I eat good food.

I work on cool projects with really great people that provide real value to the world.

And then I'm just building great technology that I think has a future and guiding people along their way.

I love it.

Yeah, I think the money hits different when you can see how it's changing other people's lives.

Yeah.

And I also think a lot of people,

they overestimate how difficult it is to make money.

Making money is not hard.

It's actually remarkably simple.

It's basic math.

Just a basic financial model.

And then you have little nuanced niche tweaks for every industry that you end up in.

Yeah.

But it's not hard to make money.

It's hard to be happy.

That's a key difference.

Yeah.

Cause you can make money.

A lot of people make a ton of money and they're super unhappy, unfulfilled.

Yeah.

I like saying unfulfilled more than happy because I think happy is temporary.

I have, dude, I have said to people so many times that happiness is a momentary thing.

Right.

And I get argued with all the time.

I like to say more happy than not.

Because it's like, I'm not happy all the time.

No one is.

Right.

And I have phases where I'm like not happy most of the time.

Just, that's how life goes.

Like, sometimes you're just not stoked.

Yeah.

You know, or like something goes wrong and you're just like bummed about it or relationship ends, whatever.

You're not like not ever going to be happy again.

You're just not happy when you think about that thing.

And I think more happy than not should be everybody's goal.

Yeah.

And I think fulfillment usually is where happiness can be found.

Agreed.

100%, man.

Well, we'll link, is your community live yet or you didn't live yet?

Yeah, yeah.

So you can go to discord.gg/slash B-O-W-S-K-Y.

Okay.

It's free right now.

It might be at the time of the stairs.

It might not be.

Put in the paywall up at the end of the month.

Okay.

We'll link it below.

And we'll link your IG if people want to message you.

But I appreciate you coming on again, man.

Thank you, bro.

Appreciate you having me.

Yeah, check them out, guys.

Check it out.