The REAL Reason 95% Can't Break Bad Habits (Psychology Expert) | Kaylor Betts DSH #999

A micro happiness, right?

A little hit light up, lighting up of the pleasure centers of your brain.

But then eventually you get into so much debt, happiness-wise, that it ends up catching up to you.

And that's when a panic attack will happen.

And this is really your body screaming at you, being like, yo, like, we need to make a change.

We need to interrupt the pattern that you're living in.

And some people get out of it, and some people just stay in that perpetual cycle for their entire lives.

And it's really sad.

Wow.

All right, guys, another fellow podcast host here today from Canada.

We got Kayler Betts.

Thanks for coming on, man.

Yeah, thanks, man.

Honored to be here.

Yeah, you've been on a spree.

I see you got some big names coming on your show lately, so congrats.

Yeah, thanks, man.

It's pretty exciting.

As someone who didn't graduate from high school and struggled to get out of bed for most of his life, it's pretty fucking cool.

Wow.

I would say so.

So struggling to get out, was that mental reasons?

Yeah, mental.

And then that, of course,

manifested into physical struggles.

But yeah, I like to say, like, really how it felt was I struggled to get out of bed.

and it's because I would rather when I did wake up, I would rather just go back to sleep and live in my dreams than face the reality that was my life.

You know?

Yeah.

And,

you know, why I pushed through is a kind of a whole other story, but I'm lucky I did.

And I went on a relentless journey of being obsessed with how to level up and expand and heal and grow and win.

And I've gotten to a place that, you know, I don't have it all figured out, but, you know, I got new levels to unlock.

But,

yeah, I feel really grateful.

And I'm in a place I never would have imagined.

I mean, I'm on the fucking digital social hour podcast, man.

I appreciate it.

Flying into Vegas for a day.

So, yeah, no.

I relate to that, though.

I've gone through periods where I've spent months in my bedroom.

Really?

Yeah, locked up and just didn't want to leave.

So I think that's something people deal with for sure.

Yeah, man.

And I would just...

Me too.

And I hit it so well.

You know, I'd show up with a smile on my face and just please all the people around me.

And I thought, man, maybe if I please the people around around me and if I fit into the box of what I think is convenient for them and what they want, then maybe I'll get validated.

Then maybe I'll feel worthy.

Then maybe I'll feel like I'm winning.

And man, that's just a perpetual cycle of, you know, causing you to lose in life.

And I'm the same way, man.

I would, although I did things in the external world, like businesses and whatnot and projects that didn't allow me to spend months in my bedroom.

But

man, when I could, I would.

And

I would just smoke weed and drink and eat shitty food and watch porn and

smoke cigarettes and like do anything that I could to just, you know, escape the reality that was my life, to numb everything.

Same, dude.

Yeah.

I used to be a huge stoner.

Yeah.

Multiple times a day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't get you, man.

Yeah, drinking almost every day in college.

It was rough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's not sustainable.

I started having terrible panic attacks.

Me too.

I have panic attacks for sure.

I mean, that's what will happen is your body will become so dysregulated.

Your nervous system will become so dysregulated.

and it will be, you know, those panic attacks from everything I've observed is just your body screaming at you inside.

We'll maybe talk about the subconscious, but it's this part of you that's just wanting you to feel safe and survive, and you're just damaging it.

You know, all those things like the porn and the weed and the nicotine and all that stuff, the drinking, it just delays the anxiety and depression, but then it amplifies it.

You know, so

it's look, all those things are like a credit card for happiness.

So you can use the credit card and you can swipe it and you'll get a little bit of micro happiness, right?

A little hit light up, lighting up of the pleasure centers of your brain.

But then eventually you get into so much debt, happiness-wise, that it ends up catching up to you.

And that's when a panic attack will happen.

And it's just really your body screaming at you, being like, yo, like, we need to make a change.

We need to interrupt the pattern that you're living in.

And some people get out of it and some people just stay in that perpetual cycle for their entire lives.

And it's really sad.

Wow.

Their whole lives.

I can't imagine that because I went through probably months, maybe years of it, but whole life would be.

Yeah.

And usually those are the people that end up killing themselves, unfortunately, man.

It's super sad, but you know, and that's why I'm so passionate about what I do.

You know, Young Pueblo says a really good quote.

He says, a hero is someone that heals their own wounds and then helps others do the same.

And I think, although I'm not going to self-proclaim myself as a hero, but that's the journey that I'm on.

That's my initiative.

That's my mission is to be like, man, like the system failed me because I went to fucking, I went to a psychiatrist and I went to a doctor.

And really all they did for me was a little bit of talk therapy.

And then I got prescribed like benzodiazepines and SSRIs.

I was on ADHD medication for two years, which is like one-tenth of cocaine.

And it worked.

But again,

it worked as in like, again, it's a stimulant.

So it gets you going.

It makes you go out and do shit.

And it does help you focus.

But eventually that's going to catch up to you.

Right.

And it's like a credit card so eventually i got into so much debt and i was so burnt out and i went off of that and um that's when i started turning my life around but uh man unfortunately a lot of people don't make it out but i'm trying to make sure people understand that like you do not have to just rely on this system in fact if you do you will lose right when it comes to mental health right the medical system is really good at like

You know, anything that is like acute.

Like if we, you know, were to get, God forbid, into like a really horrible accident and like get you know sever our leg you know we're not going to go see our functional medicine practitioner right we're going to go to the hospital and they're going to perform miracles on us so i'm actually really grateful for the western medical establishment but dude when you go there with anxiety depression you can't focus anything chronic dude they have no clue They have no clue.

They're stepping outside of their wheelhouse and they're trying to tell you, I mean, the average doctor visit is seven minutes.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's so short.

So how are they going to get to to the root cause and really actually fix the deep-rooted problem

if you only have seven minutes?

What they're going to do is they're going to diagnose with you, you with like, oh, you have a learning disability or, oh, you have depression and anxiety.

It's just a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Here's some medication.

You know, the Western medical establishment and the pharmaceutical companies get paid, right?

The doctor gets paid.

Yep.

Right.

They get taken out for a fancier dinner if they sell enough of these drugs because the pharmaceutical reps are incentivizing them that way.

And then it's just this, again, perpetual cycle of just the Western medical establishment failing us.

Yeah, I spoke at an event recently, and one of the top neurosurgeons was there watching.

He came up to me afterwards.

He said, uh, doctors at large, corporations, have quotas to hit for prescriptions.

So it's similar to police officers.

How messed up is that?

Yeah, that's not aligned with it shouldn't be allowed.

And there's only two countries in the world that are able to advertise pharmaceutical drugs like they're some sort of, you know,

yeah, like lucrative business because they are.

I think that's a third of commercials, right?

Yeah, probably.

I've never heard of that, but it's the U.S.

and New Zealand, actually, surprisingly.

I wonder why New Zealand's doing that.

I don't know, actually.

But yeah, in Canada, we see them, but it's only during an American, you know, product production.

Interesting.

So on YouTube, you don't see them in Canada?

No, you guys see them on youtube yeah we get youtube ads for them i did not even know that yeah it's everywhere wow i mean no one watches tv anymore so they're just gonna go to youtube go to social media oh i get facebook ads i get instagram ads for it i didn't know that yeah that's crazy i mean i see uh what's that peptide everyone's on that's making lose oh yeah gop one yeah i see that gop one's like uh you know ozembic and ozembic yeah i get ads for that all the time Yeah, and it's tough, man, because I'm a capitalist.

You know, like I believe in a free market, but I do believe there has to be some guardrails there.

And it's like, I think, you know, it's so evident that it is affecting society at large in a very toxic way.

In terms of like our food, and I mean, man, this goes so deep, but like the highly processed food and the seed oils and the inflammatory diets that most people are on.

Yeah.

And then the lifestyles that they have, we're so disconnected from what makes us human.

We're so disconnected from the primal lifestyle, what's ancestrally consistent and how we've lived for most of human history.

We're so disconnected with that.

And people wonder why they're depressed.

Have you ever seen those memes that are like the I'm depressed and I don't know why starter pack?

It's like pornhub, Doritos, your cherry fucking vape, you know, all of those things.

And it's like, you know, look,

are there deeper, complex, nuanced reasons for depression and anxiety?

Absolutely.

But honestly, man, if most people just got off all of that shit, put their feet on the ground, got sun in their eyes and on their skin, stopped, you know, eating highly toxic processed foods, moved their body every single day, got a mission that actually like lights their soul on fire, you know, and the list goes on.

But if they just did the basic fundamental principles, regulate their circadian rhythm, if they just got those basic fundamental principles down slowly but surely, I really don't think that people would be really depressed.

You know, I really think they would start to feel themselves again.

I agree.

What do you think of people that say their depression and anxiety is genetic from their parents?

Well,

I'm forgetting his name.

Actually, Francis Collins, he was the head of the Human Genome Project.

He said a really smart quote, I believe.

And I don't think I'm paraphrasing.

I think this is the exact quote.

He says, genes hold the gun, environment pulls the trigger.

So, therefore, what I interpret that to mean is that, yeah, your genetics play a role.

So they hold the gun.

Meaning, if you have the genetics and you're

predisposed to anxiety, depression, and stuff like this, I do believe that that is a real thing because I think these things are passed down.

And I think some people are just more likely to struggle with their mental health

and physical health, just like some people are more likely to get cancer because of their physiology.

But the environment pulls the trigger, meaning it is my belief, right?

And this isn't, you know, I'm not a medical doctor or anything like that, but I am absolutely convicted unwaveringly

that you can be predisposed and your genetics can hold the gun.

But if you don't give it the environment, the toxic environment, the trigger won't be pulled.

And I don't believe that if you have a really proper environment and you're doing some of those fundamental principles that really make us human, that have been so aligned with how we've lived throughout human history.

I really don't think you're going to struggle with those to a degree in which you're going to be laying in bed all day long.

Agreed.

Yeah.

So my father side all of them had mental health issues and I did at first, but I think with the right environment, you can overcome it.

Well, look, I would ask you this.

I've never, this is why I'm so convinced of this.

I've never seen anyone who's depressed or anxious that I couldn't sit down with and be like, you know, how's your sleep?

Oh, not so good.

You know, okay.

Are you smoking?

Yeah, you know, I'm doing some, yeah, some vaping and some, you know, I'm smoking cigarettes.

How's your diet?

You know, are you eating like an ancestrally consistent diet?

Is it, is it full of processed foods?

Do you eat some processed food?

Do you drink?

You know, like just go down the list.

And sure, maybe they're not doing some things, but they're at least doing some of those things and they're relying on those things as a coping mechanism.

And that's why I'm so convinced because I've also never seen counter to that.

I've never seen anyone

who's really dialed in and intentional about those things who can't get out of bed in the morning.

Right.

No, absolutely.

My answer to those questions would be yes.

When I was dealing with mental health issues, and a big part of the food stuff was the food in my college and high school was just really bad quality.

Yeah, so it's a big problem.

They need to reform that, I think.

They really do.

And the problem is, again, it's challenging because I'm a capitalist and we vote with our dollar and people are buying these foods, right?

But that's where I do believe in government intervention, right?

The government needs to look at this and say, wow, like we are extremely sick.

Like chronic disease is insane.

And if you look at remote areas in like rural Africa, rural China, where they live off the land and they don't have fucking cell phones, they don't have vapes.

They don't have Amish people.

You look at these things, chronic disease is almost non-existent.

So it's like, what further evidence do you need?

Like, you know, like it's pretty obvious.

So then I think the government needs to step in and start incentivizing people and corporations, grocery store, you know, the list goes on.

They need to incentivize, you know, more whole foods, more foods that are connected to, you know, well, just real food.

Right.

Like, how sad is it that we actually have to put a label on food that isn't tampered with?

It's called organic.

Like, or it should just be called food, right?

The food that's tampered with with a bunch of toxic chemicals, highly processed, a bunch of stuff in there that we haven't been eating for most of human history, that should have a label for it.

It should have a warning on it.

But then also we have to, you know, take personal responsibility as a society as well, too.

And this is why I screamed from the rooftop this: we vote with our dollar.

And that's why you do see like toothpaste in the grocery store.

And like now, I see you can even go to the biggest chain for a grocery store, the most conventional grocery store, and you're going to see

organic toothpaste that has better ingredients in it, right?

That you know, that are more natural, more holistic.

So that's because the market has shown that grocery store that there's a demand for it.

So like the more we step up and demand those things by voting with our dollar, I think the more that the market will adapt.

And that's the beauty of capitalism as well too.

Yeah.

You see restaurants embracing the seed oil stuff too now.

Yes.

It was really hard to find like a seed oil-free restaurant five years ago.

Yes.

But now even Chipotle is announcing they're going seed oil free.

Really?

Fueling chains.

Dude, I don't know that there's anything that makes me happier when I, when I hear stuff like that.

And you know what?

Like that's not because Chipotle is trying to be admirable or noble.

That's because they are a company that is trying to focus on their bottom line and, you know, increase what their shareholders get paid.

And that's fair.

I'm all for that.

And that's because people are voting with every dollar they spend and they're requesting and they're saying, hey, I want no seed oils on my meat or whatever it is they're getting.

Yeah.

Now you got guys like RFK really speaking up about this.

Maha, man, how nice is this Maha?

Make America healthy again.

Yeah, I love that.

It's amazing.

It's amazing.

And I love that Trump's on board with that.

It's amazing.

Yeah, they got some tough opponents because big farm and big food are in bed together so they are but you know what man polls create policies as they say so if collectively society all these politicians and all these corporations they just want to remain in power and and continue to have leverage uh and i think they have some other ambitions as well too and agendas but i think for the most part when society says hey like we do not want to live in a toxic environment anymore like politicians will have to adapt and mostly corporations because I think corporations run the world more so than politicians do.

That's one of the side effects of capitalism, right?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm a capitalist too, but at a certain point, if it's damaging so many people's lives, that's kind of where I draw the line.

Yeah, and I think that, look, I'm a capitalist.

I'm a more conservative.

I have a more conservative ideological perspective on what is best for society.

But I think that there is a time and place for government intervention.

I think the government mostly is there to, you know, protect borders, to protect property rights, to protect its citizens as well, too, and make sure that we're living in a safe environment.

And if you look at our water and our food, it's not a safe environment right now for anyone unless you're like, man, I go into Whole Foods.

And like, you know, I walked out of Whole Foods and I got into my Uber.

You know, I'm not throwing shade to Uber drivers, but, you know, he was just like, man,

what do you think of this Whole Foods?

Like, why are you shopping at Whole Foods, man?

It's a whole wallet, you know, it's super expensive, right?

And I was like, man, that's fair.

Like, and, you know, I'm kind of prejudging here.

Like, you know, Uber driver maybe doesn't make, you know, it probably doesn't have a bunch of disposable income, probably has to watch every dollar.

I mean, maybe not.

Some Uber drivers aren't in that situation, but in large part, I think they are.

And that's probably why he doesn't want to shop at Whole Foods, man, because he has to look after his finances.

And I just like, I I want to get to a point where it isn't that way.

But with that being said, there are smart ways of doing it.

So you don't have to spend extra money.

Like, you know, a banana last time I checked was cheaper than like, I don't know, a meal at McDonald's, right?

And in terms of nutrient sufficiency and saturation, like a banana is going to feed your kids.

like way more than a meal at McDonald's, right?

That's not even food.

Fast food's actually pretty expensive now.

Have you looked at their prices lately?

I've heard.

Yeah, it's like, I remember as a kid, you could spend like five, 10 bucks, but now it's like $30.

Yeah.

It's pretty crazy.

So you're actually paying to eat unhealthy food.

100%.

Like before, it kind of made sense.

Like if you were really living paycheck to paycheck, you need a quick meal, but now you could eat healthy for the same price as fast food, I feel like.

Oh, man, even cheaper.

Cheaper.

I'm not a fan of beans, but even a can of beans, man, you can get a can of beans for 25 cents or 50 cents or whatever, right?

So it's like, if i had a kid and i was like really poor you know like and and i have to feed my kid like i honestly am gonna go buy a can of beans some rice um you know nuts are actually pretty expensive but you know fruit veggies you know um you can get ground beef at like walmart for pretty cheap and like is this ideal no i'm not saying that's the ideal diet for a kid but it is leaps and bounds better than fast food absolutely how's the food system in canada is it similar to us

yeah i mean

Canada is really just seemingly just a little behind the U.S.

We usually like, you know, see what the U.S.

is doing and it pretty much, you know, comes up to Canada and we kind of follow suit.

But yeah, it's quite similar, man.

At the end of the day, lots of processed food.

I would say that we are a little better, though, in terms of, like, if you look at, and I think it was the food babe.

Vanny Hari.

Yeah, she's seen her stuff.

Yeah, she was on the podcast not too long ago.

She's a really cool girl, has done some unbelievable things for food advocacy, healthy food advocacy.

But I believe in her, she just testified in front of Congress.

That was all over social recently with a few other influencers.

By the way, why are these food influencers that are always called woo-woo and conspiracy theorists, why are they always jacked as fuck?

Like,

why are they always healthy?

And then why are the people that are trying to censor and silence them always,

let's be honest, fat and weak, right?

That's my question.

But, anyways, to go back to, she was holding up a box of Fruit Loops, and she was listing the ingredients that are in the American version of Fruit Loops and then the Canadian version of Fruit Loops.

And it was significantly different.

And same thing, Europe, actually.

I can't remember the food regulatory agency in Europe.

It's something like the European Union Food Association or something like that, but they're just more stringent on what can be in their food.

Same with Canada.

In Canada, it's the

Canadian Food and Drug Administration, I think.

I could be saying that wrong.

For some reason, I'm drawing a blank on it.

And then obviously, it's the FDA in

the United States.

The FDA, because they're in cahoots with the government, it's just all about money, man.

It's just all about lobbying and money

and

power and leverage.

And so they're not stringent.

So the shit that gets in the food in America is crazy and it is more stringent in Canada so it's at least a little better but you see those food regulatory agencies what they do well reasonably well

is

they prevent you from anything that will harm you in the micro So like we're not going to pick up a food from the grocery store or even like a lotion or some sort of like cosmetic.

We're not going to put that on or consume it and we're going to die on the spot.

Like they're going to keep poison out of it.

Okay, great.

You do that well.

That's pretty standard and I would say like relatively,

you know, you would assume they would do that.

But what they're really bad at is in the macro.

So things that slowly poison you over time.

Right.

They do not seem to be concerned with things that slowly poison you over time.

And that's the big problem.

And they're finding out heavy metals and supplements, certain vegetables, and now it's kind of too late because people have been eating these for years, taking these supplements for years, and the buildup is pretty massive.

Yeah, and chemicals as well, too, like things in our sunscreen, like benzene, you know, now they are recalling and pulling off the shelf some sunscreen that has amounts of like any sort of benzene in it because it's been shown to be associated with cancer.

So ironic, right?

Ironic, right?

But like, okay, kind of too late.

Like, you know, like, I don't know, like, could we not have just

assumed that it wasn't good to put chemicals on our our skin?

Because whatever we put on our skin essentially gets into our bloodstream just like if we put it through our mouths.

So it's like, could we not have just assumed that it wasn't good to put chemicals on us?

And why not just go with like a mineral-based sunscreen that like you can get?

And like I use a mineral-based sunscreen.

It's it's tallow-based.

So it's like beef fat.

It's got some zinc in there and it works just fine.

I see those beef tallow videos.

Those are, those are hot right now.

They really are, man, because it's really good for your skin.

Yeah, because it's all natural.

So I'm a fan of that.

Yeah, I remember using sunscreen growing up, not even questioning if it was bad for me because the marketing on sunscreen was phenomenal.

You know what I mean?

Like, you can't deny that.

It's insane, man.

I just saw Carnivore Aurelius.

I don't know if you follow him on Instagram, but yeah, he's got a great page and great content.

But he was just talking about...

He showed a video where it's like humans in sunscreen and it shows this mom on the beach just spraying her sun down with this chemical sunscreen, which we see on the beaches all the time, obviously.

And then it's like animals in the sun and animals are just like in the sun they're literally like in their house there's like a window that has this little square of sunlight and they're like walking over and laying in that sun just you know and it shows you again That's why I'm such a believer in the primal lifestyle because what got us here in the first place is what our bodies have adapted to.

It's how we've evolved.

And it is what will be consistent with what's optimized for our physiology for the most part.

There's always some exceptions, and I'm open to some progression and some shifting in some ways.

But for the most part,

it's, I guess, a good benchmark to go off of.

Absolutely.

I actually haven't been sunburned in years.

So there are a lot of people that I follow that claim that if you eat less or if you eat no seed oils, if you cut out seed oils,

And also monounsaturated fat, which is like omega-9, which is like olive oil and avocado and stuff like that.

If you don't eat as much of that, because that can be inflammatory if you have too much of it in your diet and it's much higher than your omega-3 consumption, it can be inflammatory.

They claim that you don't burn as much.

And I'll be honest,

I can't give you a double-blind placebo randomized controlled study to show it.

But just from my own evidence, man, when I have an anti-inflammatory diet, I can't remember the last time I burned as well too.

I've had some times where I get a little red and it goes away right away.

Same.

Whereas I always used to burn.

I used to get fried.

Yes.

Burned for days.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I was growing up, yeah, I was eating like shit and not just getting burnt all the time.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

I never linked food to that, though.

Well, we wouldn't because of how we've been conditioned and educated, right?

You would, you would be conditioned.

We have been conditioned to think that that is just an absolutely outrageous claim and stretch.

Right.

Right.

But diet and lifestyle affects all of our physiology.

It affects our psychology.

And then I think we're energy.

And I think that affects our frequency.

And then we actually know, especially from like quantum physics and whatnot, science is even proving.

Not a big follow the science guy because I think science is more so follow the money nowadays.

But we know from even like quantum physics that your frequency and what you're vibing at, so to speak, affects everything around you.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I used to really trust science growing up.

I mean, they made us take it in the U.S.

every year.

So I just believed everything I was taught.

Sean, I trust science.

I don't trust the establishment that has now become what we claim is science.

Right.

It's a big establishment that has a lot of bias and really is more so a marketing agency.

And they're really just taking money and funding from corporations that want them to, you know, come up with some sort of experiment that is going to prove

the hypothesis that fits their agenda and what is convenient for them.

Right.

Yeah, you saw that one study where the Cheerios were healthier than meat, something like that.

Yeah.

I don't, it wasn't Cheerios.

It was Lucky Charms.

Oh, that's even worse.

Oh, dude.

Cheerios are better than Lucky Charms.

Yeah.

I mean, Cheerios still have glypsate in it, but either way, it's terrible.

Cheerios have

a lot of shit.

But my guess is Lucky Charms is worse.

Yeah.

I think it was Lucky charms.

But yeah, that's, dude, that's the world we live in.

And how sad is it that some people are getting indoctrinated into that

so easily, you know, because I think most people, you know, we talk about the lion and the sheep.

I think that based on our subconscious and our mind and the way we're conditioned, we are so conditioned to stay safe and small and comfortable and to survive.

So if we just essentially go with the grain and and don't step out and stand out and speak out, then we can just be another sheep in the herd.

And that is honestly way more optimal, at least to our psychology, to stay safe and survive.

Because for most of human history, if we went out and we became a lion and we stood up and

spoke out about some of the things that the overlords were saying, we'd get thrown to the wolves.

Right.

Yeah, you start to wonder how many people are living in a fear-based system.

It's got to be a large percentage because I used to live that way.

And, dude, life is hard, right?

Like, there's so many daily formalities you have.

People have kids, they go to their job, they just, you know, they just want to go, they want to be able to pay their bills, they want to be able to take care of their children, take care of their spouse, and be able to go on vacation for two to three weeks a year and just get out unscathed out of this world.

So, like, I don't want to say I get it, but like, I understand where it comes from, and I understand why it's hard to stand up and speak out.

You know, it really is, man.

And there's something, you know, even I go on social media and I say things that are like quite dangerous dangerous reputationally

right and and i'm sure you do as well too and you have guests on that as well you're outspoken as well so it's like that's dangerous man and there's something wired into us like My nervous system is on high alert.

And even before I post something that I know is going to get judged and criticized and rejected and shamed, and people might abandon me.

And I might get public humiliation from it.

There's something inside of me where my heart rate is just elevated a little more.

But I just focus on, you know, I can't rest my head on my pillow at the end of the night and feel good about how I'm showing up in this world if I'm living a lie.

Right.

You know, so I want to speak what I believe to my core to be the truth and I want to show up in this world who I believe I actually am in terms of the most noble.

that I can show up and that I can show up for others and help make this world a better place.

That's how I feel too, because I lived a majority of my life not speaking out, just keeping everything internal.

Well, you're an introvert.

I am.

Yeah, I saw you post about that.

Yeah, massive too.

A lot of actually podcast hosts are, I noticed.

I am too.

I am too, actually.

You wouldn't even believe it.

But I mean, I might be an ambivert,

but I think the best judge of whether you're an introvert or an extrovert is when you're around people and you socialize, does it recharge your battery or does it deplete it?

And for me, undoubtedly, when I'm around people, like if I go to a fucking networking event, by the way, those are my fucking nightmare.

Those are my nightmare.

Like a cocktail party where you have to like make conversations.

Yeah, dude, that's not my jam.

I am definitely depleted by the end of it.

And I dread it.

So that's why I believe I am an introvert.

And

why do you think that is?

Why do you think a lot of introverts are podcastos?

Dude, there must be something there because it's got to be 80%, 80-20 rule, right?

So it might be something like...

It might be kind of like skydiving.

You know, I think there's a thrill when you're an introvert and you put yourself in a position where you are kind of not only forced to socialize, but in a way that's kind of a container that is

used to be able to build something, you know.

And I think maybe once guys like me and you, I think you're more introverted than I am.

I'm just getting that vibe.

Like, and that's not a criticism at all.

I actually really respect the fact that you are quite introverted and you're doing this.

But I think there might be this thrill when you, when you are a podcaster that's an introvert, introvert, maybe akin to skydiving or something.

I could see that.

Yeah, we need to look into that.

Because if you think about all the top hosts, I mean, most of them are super introverted, like Tim Ferriss, Chris Williamson.

I don't know if Rogan is, but I feel like Andrew Huberman definitely is.

Yes.

And

Lex Friedman.

Lex definitely is.

Lex is very much, yeah.

I think the odd man out is Joe Rogan.

I don't think he's an introvert.

Yeah, he's probably not, but almost everyone else I could think of, which is crazy.

It is crazy.

That's actually an interesting concept.

Yeah.

I want to dive into the subconscious work.

Let's do it.

And how you got involved in that and what your takeaways were from doing that.

Well, look, man, it rules our life.

How fucking crazy is it that I think

the number one

factor I would say in whether or not we win or lose in life.

And by the way, I just want to clarify what I mean by winning is.

Essentially, winning to me is clarifying who you want to be in this world, your values, your principles, what you're optimizing for,

you know, how you want to show up, what you want out of this life.

It's clarifying that and then aligning your behavior, your actions, and your decisions with that.

That's winning.

And then losing is knowing that you want to be those things.

And by the way, a lot of people haven't even clarified those things.

So that's the first, you know, wrongdoing, unfortunately.

And I didn't for so many years.

But even if someone knows that they want to be that, most people aren't able to align their decisions, actions, and behaviors with that.

And how crazy is it that I think if you talk to anyone who knows psychology or just the human conditioning, I think it's so evident that the number one factor of whether or not you win or lose is your subconscious, right?

And whether or not you're able to become conscious of your unconscious programming and interrupt that patterning, okay?

And show up in a different way.

And let me just clarify, the subconscious mind is 90 to 95% of your day, 90 to 95% of your thoughts, actions, ideas, and emotions are subconscious, meaning subconscious, below consciousness.

How fucking crazy is it that for most of the day, 90 to 95% of the time, we are like an automatic computer-like program.

Crazy.

It's nuts.

And where does that automatic computer-like programming come from?

Like, how are we conditioned in that way?

Well, from our previous

experiences in our environment.

and our experiences,

primarily from when we were very early aged, like zero to six years old is the time frame where we were actually conditioned for our subconscious more than any other time period.

And then from six to about 30 to 35, and then it kind of gets leveled off and then it's kind of set, right?

Now,

that part of you, that subconscious mind,

and I'm going to, I know this is your podcast, but I do just like to test people because I think it's just an interesting way.

But do you know what the subconscious mind optimizes for more than any other thing?

Like, what does it want for you more than any other thing?

Would it be survival?

Yes.

A hundred percent.

Safety, survival, comfort.

Why?

Because for most of human history, that was success.

Like survival was success.

That was it.

They didn't have dream boards with like a G-Wagon and like, I want to make 10K a month.

You know, like they didn't have that.

For like the vast majority of human history, up to about two.

two million years plus

when we go back survival was everything so our subconscious is there because it's very quick.

It's a program.

And it's just like, what are the threats?

And that's it.

And it's basically its main agenda is avoid the threats.

So think about it.

We're living in this new environment where survival is not success anymore, at least if you live where we live.

Survival is not the success anymore.

It's not enough to just be

safe and comfortable and survive.

Okay.

So that's the agenda of the subconscious, but we live in a totally different environment.

But most people are still running off that conditioning where, and this is why people are afraid of flying, even though it's like the second most safest way to travel.

Literally, walking down the street is safer than flying commercially, at least.

And no shame or judgment if you are afraid of flying, because I was for many years.

This is why people are afraid of elevators.

This is why the number one fear is public speaking.

The number one fear is what we're doing right now.

And by the way, there was a time where I might have had a panic attack on this podcast.

Right.

So, and that was my safety and survival conditioning, thinking that those things are life or death and interpreting them that way when they're actually not, right?

So, here's the thing: our subconscious, in many ways, is lying to us.

I call it the anti-you.

It is actually just trying to dim your light and trying to make you safe, small, and comfortable.

It doesn't want you to go out and do all these crazy things because it's a risk.

It just wants to think, well, what better way to stay safe and survive than to just continue doing what we've always done that's brought us to safety and survival today?

So, it just keeps repeating the pattern.

It doesn't want you to go out and step into the unfamiliar heaven because it would rather opt for the familiar hell.

Okay.

The familiar hell is like, well, it may not make me happy, but at least I know what I'm going to get.

At least I'm knowing what I'm going to get.

I can predict the future.

I can avoid threats because I've gotten to safety and survival today.

And I know that if I just keep repeating the actions and the behaviors and the choices I've had previously, then I'm more likely to survive.

Is this all making sense?

Yep.

So now, let's again, let's have some fun and I'll test you.

If that's the conditioning we run off of 90 to 95% of the time, if that is what optimally will,

sorry, if that's what will optimize for

survival and staying small and safe, by the way, that's why self-sabotage happens.

Again, like people wonder, like, well, why would I sabotage the relationship I want, the success I want, the business I want?

Because it's the familiar hell.

It would optimize and be much more comfortable just stepping into the familiar because at least I know what I'm going to get.

So it pushes and sabotages away the unfamiliar heaven, right?

So again, do you know what would be the antidote to that?

If that's what's going to optimize for losing and staying small and safe and comfortable, then how do we interrupt that pattern and how do we get to the unfamiliar heaven?

Can you guess?

Would it be hypnosis?

Okay, so hypnosis is a great way to do that in the micro.

It's like a really efficient way of getting into the subconscious and reconditioning it.

So it is a tool, no question.

But that's more so for the micro, and it can work, absolutely.

But I really haven't seen too many people, I'm sure there are exceptions, but I haven't seen too many people who, with hypnosis alone, have completely reconditioned their subconscious programming.

I'm going to get some hate in the comments for that, but that's okay.

Like, because some people are going to claim that they did.

And if it did, all the power to you i love it the thing that reconditions this the subconscious over time is repetition and emotion

repetition and emotion that's how we developed it in the first place by the way through repetition and through emotion emotional experiences happened that re that conditioned the subconscious repetition like if your parents constantly told you that money doesn't grow on trees with repetition you're going to adopt that as a belief of how the world works when it comes to money right so then therefore that's your belief and then by the way your subconscious wants to validate that in the external world why because it's familiar and that optimizes survival so then money doesn't grow on trees money doesn't grow in trees i have to work around the clock to just get by right if that's what you've seen in your external environment then that's what you're going to go out and create in the external world because that matches the internal programming and belief internally right that's why our beliefs shape our external world

how do we get and interrupt the new pattern or the old pattern and create a new pattern?

The conscious mind.

So I said that the subconscious, which is below consciousness, automatic computer-like program, is 90 to 95% of our day.

5 to 10% is conscious, meaning you wake up and you actually can become conscious of your unconscious programming.

So I'll give you an example.

Like if you're in traffic and someone cuts you off, A lot of people would project in that situation.

The subconscious, the deep internal programming would look at that as a threat and you would get triggered, your heart rate would elevate, nervous system is hijacked, and then all of a sudden you go,

you know, I don't know, you give them the finger and you say, you fucking asshole, or whatever, right?

And that would be automatic without even having to be conscious.

You could have that reaction and that projection, right?

That's the old Kaler as well, too.

That's what Kaler 1.0 would have done.

But what you can do also in that

situation, and it's a practice, is you can become conscious and you can be the observer of the subconscious programming.

So you you could get cut off and you could say, oh,

my anti-U, my subconscious is triggered.

You could literally observe your heart rate and get into the body.

You could get into your nervous system and you could feel

how it's hijacked and you could feel the

trigger and you could observe it.

And when you observe it, you create a space.

Do you know who Viktor Frankl is?

No.

He wrote The Man's Search for Meaning.

It's a very popular book in the personal growth space.

He says your freedom lies between stimulus and response.

And between stimulus and response, there's a space.

And in that space lies your ability to respond.

And in that response lies your growth and your freedom.

Meaning, get cut off.

Holy shit, I'm mad.

I suggest naming your anti-y.

So mine's name, my name, mine's, mine is named KK.

So the anti-U is there.

And I would have, and by the way, when people use the term inner child, this is what they're talking about.

This is your inner child, KK.

and i could just observe and be like oh he's angry right now it's not me it's a part of me that feels unsafe okay and feels threatened right now but if i observe it i am no longer it i create this separateness okay and in that separateness is a space and i can choose to even though i'm triggered i can choose to take a deep breath And this is a practice.

It's not easy.

Easier said than done.

But over time, you can get better with it.

And I can choose to say, that guy's probably having a really bad day.

That guy's dealing with something that I have no idea.

That guy is just incredibly wounded.

And,

you know, or maybe it's just a bad driver, I guess, in that situation.

Okay.

But maybe let's say in a better example is he gets mad at you and then you're triggered, right?

So you cut him off, you give him the finger, he gets mad at you back.

You could observe your anger and you could say, I'm not going to react to my subconscious programming and my anti-you.

I'm going to respond and I'm going to maybe show him empathy, compassion.

I'm going to realize that that's not me.

That's just a part of me that's afraid.

And I'm going to respond in a better way.

Now, some people would say like, oh, I'd never be able to do that.

Tolerable steps, little steps in the right direction.

The other example would be picking up the bottle, right?

Like if this was, you know, if I was barely able to get out of bed and this was a bottle of wine, right?

I might reach for the bottle, but I could observe and I could say that's just KK, you know, he just wants to light the pleasure centers up of his brain right now.

He wants to regulate his nervous system.

He's afraid, you know, he wants to just, you know, cope with his internal pain by drinking this bottle of wine right now.

And I could observe that, create the separateness, and I could choose to be more intentional and respond and say, you know what, I'm just going to get up and go for a walk.

And that's one little win.

And then that's how it starts.

Absolutely.

I love that, man.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, no, it does.

I'm describing a concept that honestly usually takes like years to learn.

So I hope I thanks for simplifying it.

I hope I simplified it

in an okay way.

I could relate, though.

I used to have road rage too.

Yeah.

And I used to have it bad.

So once I started observing the thoughts, that was sort of the first step.

So by the way, the same part of you that had Road Rage is the same part of you that picked up the bottle.

Right?

So that's just your anti-you.

So if you can now observe it, well, now it's not you.

Now you understand that your consciousness.

And I knew we were just talking about how you're getting into spiritual stuff.

You're exploring.

Same with me.

You are consciousness.

That's a very grounded spiritual concept.

You are consciousness.

You aren't your subconscious condition programming.

You are not your thoughts.

How fucking profound is that?

You are not your thoughts.

And if you observe the thoughts, you actually

start to show yourself that you are the consciousness that can observe the thoughts and that you don't have to listen to them because the anti-you and those thoughts are lying to you.

So crazy.

And you start to win when those thoughts come up and you say, I'm not going to listen this time.

I'm going to respond instead of reacting.

And that's what winners do.

Winners don't make decisions based off how they feel in the moment because that's their thoughts and their emotions.

They make decisions and actions based off their long-term values and commitments.

Right.

How often do you not feel like showing up and doing something you got to do?

Pretty often.

Yeah.

But you do it anyways.

Yeah.

Because you're a winner.

And that's basically going against your thoughts, right?

Because I'd say the top 1% of people can trigger that.

Yeah.

And like, it might not be the best way to

frame it as you go against your thoughts because it is the anti-you that honestly just needs a hug.

Like that anti-you needs a fucking hug.

They've been through some trauma.

They've been through some trauma.

They've been screaming at you.

That's, by the way, what triggers the panic attack as well, too.

Right?

Is it's screaming at you and saying, yo, we need to do something different.

Right.

Yeah.

But anyways, it will essentially be something you can observe and then you take the wheel.

And most people, that anti-you is taking the wheel for their entire lives.

And this is just basically saying, hey, I love you.

I see you.

I hear you.

I understand you feel that way.

But get in the back seat because for the first time, I'm taking the wheel.

Yeah, that's such an important message because there's a lot of people watching this that just follow their thoughts to the T.

Yes.

And that's emotions.

And emotions.

Right.

And emotions.

Yeah.

Emotions are of the subconscious as well too.

So those come up.

And it's not about controlling your emotions.

Okay.

Because what we resist persists, as Seneca says.

So if you try to control, typically that means you like are pushing them away or just saying, fuck you, get out of here.

And then that typically feeds those emotions.

You actually want to just create space for them and just observe them and allow them to be there.

And that disarms those negative emotions.

Like

whoever's listening, next time you get angry,

don't resist it.

And just like invite it in and just say, like, I see you.

You got to be the observer and create the separateness and understand it's not you.

It's that anti-y part of you.

It's that ugly part of you.

But let it in.

And what we accept, we start to rise above and it will disarm it.

It's actually an incredible experience.

It's it's just about being present yeah that's phenomenal man that's that's such an important lesson right there thanks for sharing that of course man it changed my life that's that's how i won and you unknowingly that's how it changed your life as well too you just didn't maybe know exactly

yeah i was relating with a lot of what you said though for sure yeah um well kayler it's been cool man where can people find your podcast and keep up with you yeah so awaken winning uh the awaken winning podcast is my podcast and uh yeah we're coming up on 400 episodes at some point here and um yeah I've had some cool people on.

Just had Danica Patrick on.

I've had, you know, Gary Brecca on and, you know, the food babe.

And, you know, I could go on.

And we have people like that who are awake and winning.

And, you know, it's a pretty cool experience to be able to interview these people.

And if you want to check it out, please do.

I love it, man.

I'm the link below.

Thanks for coming on.

Thank you very much, Bill.

Yep.

Thanks for watching, guys.

Check out his show below in the description.

I'll see you guys next time.