My Ayahuasca Experience Exposed: Life-Changing or Scam? | Brittany Schmitt DSH #605

When you do an ayahuasca ceremony, it's three doses, three servings a night,

two nights in a row.

That was serving one night one.

After I'm like crying, it's like look at the mirror and I'm like, it's like ding, ding, ding, do I bore?

And I'm like, what the fuck?

Something different that revealed, you know, the way that I deal with relationships improperly.

And finally, it did nothing.

And I went to the shaman, I was like, it's doing nothing.

And she's like, well, the medicine knows you're done.

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All right, guys, Britney Schmidt here today.

How is it going?

Oh, it's going.

Thanks for having me.

Yeah, are you on tour right now?

No, I'm off tour until fall.

Taking some time off.

Yeah.

Needed a break.

Yeah, it was horrible.

It kicked my ass.

Damn.

How long were you touring before i did a 35 city tour holy and yeah and uh it was just exhausting i did one nighters and there's nothing more stressful than like landing in a city and then like looking at my phone and getting a notification that it's time to go like check in for my next flight to leave so it was just yeah it was a lot so i'm just gonna work on my material in la for a while and feel uh yeah yeah next tour you space it out maybe do less cities yeah well no i won't space it out i'll just do it smarter last time my agent had me like whiplashing across the country I was like Philly to San Diego, back to Toronto.

Like it was just, yeah, it was a nightmare.

Yeah, I guess scheduling it all around the same area and kind of going

instead of coast to coast.

Smarter, yeah.

Did you have a favorite city out of those?

Toronto is actually my favorite.

Really?

Toronto was fucking lit.

Toronto was great, and then San Francisco actually really surprised me.

San Francisco Cobb, San Francisco was incredible.

And I was really worried about San Fran because they're so woke.

And I'm so dark.

And I just like don't really prescribe to the woke culture.

So yeah, I was worried, but they were fucking rad.

Wow, that's surprising.

Yeah, you never know with some of these certain cities and communities how it's going to go, right?

Yeah.

Because sometimes it's, I mean, out here, it's pretty left.

So, yeah, it's, yeah, it's, yeah, it's pretty far left.

But that's why it's good to travel and see like what America really wants to hear, you know, not just LA, not just the coastal elites.

That's very a small portion.

Yeah, how long have you been doing this?

Did you start in Wisconsin?

No,

I started here in 2012, but

I worked in advertising for almost 10 years.

So I was doing that full-time.

I wasn't doing comedy in a full-time capacity until 2019.

I was like, I'm going to make the jump.

And it was 2019, like literally December 2019.

I was like, I'm going full-time into comedy.

I'm quitting advertising.

Wow.

Then I did that.

And then 2020 had other plans for me.

So you had to take two years off right off the rip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I didn't take it off.

I mean, LA still had like secret shows going on and stuff, but yeah, it wasn't.

We weren't touring.

Yeah.

I would see that on the news.

Oh, this party got busted.

Yeah, that got busted.

They would shut off the power.

I'm like, yeah.

bro i mean the reality is you can't keep people inside like that it's like not good for anyone so if we have to sneak out and do it we will yeah you know what a transition from marketing to comedy so what were the first few shows like just a small crowd first few shows of my tour yeah um

yeah it really depends where i went like i didn't ever have like a small small crowd tulsa oklahoma was the smallest because i was like competing with the fair and apparently the fair is like a big deal in tulsa really so i didn't really get a lot of people out in tulsa but other than that it was like pretty good crowds everywhere Yeah.

What's the biggest?

I think like 300 something

was the most I sold on my own.

Yeah.

And is it a lot of crowd work or is it scripted?

No, no, no.

I don't do, I don't do crowd work.

Okay.

I love, I give

kudos to people who can, and I think like crowds like expect it now.

Yeah, because of Schultz and

Matt Reif.

Rife, yeah.

I feel like Matt Rife's like the t-pain of comedy.

Like he introduced auto-tune and now everyone did, that's it.

You know what I mean?

Like I feel like, you know, he changed the industry and that, like, crowd work is expected.

And like, the crowds will start interacting with you, even if you're not interacting with them.

They want to be a part of it.

Like, people just want to be a part of something.

So they kind of like yell and interject and do that whole thing.

Yeah.

Did you see Rife blowing up?

Because you probably knew him before.

Yeah, I've known Rife for a long time.

Yeah.

Did you see that coming?

No, but I'm not surprised that it did because he is a master at crowd work.

He's so, he's so good at it and he's just getting better.

I think he's like the best out there at crowd work.

Schultz is really good, too.

Um, but he's also just so charming and handsome.

And, like, you know, the ladies love him.

It's very much like the

boy band phenomenon that we had with like Backstreet Boys and stuff.

Like, women will buy tickets to shit.

Like, women, like, guys will come out, like, the bros will come out, but like, the ladies will come out for stuff.

And Matt got like all women in a fucking chokehold.

Like, I remember I was in Spokane, Washington, doing, I was flying to a different show, and I saw like a 70-something-year-old woman on her phone, just like hating her husband, like the worst body language towards her husband, just like looking at Matt Reif and like smiling.

And I like sent it to him, the video to him.

I was like, You've got bitches of all ages in a fucking chokehold.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, those women, man.

I mean, look at Taylor Swift.

If you could calculate that, that's what I'm saying.

Like, the ladies are the best.

They will buy the merch, they will buy the tickets.

They are like, they will fucking ride at dawn.

Absolutely.

What's your audience demo like?

I'm I'm a lot of men.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

A majority of my audience is men.

I have some women I want, I want more.

Like I love, I love women, but I think just the nature of what I talk about, I talk about really dark stuff and like men tend to gravitate towards that more, you know, like suicide, rape, abortion.

Damn.

That's not like, you know, a girl's like fun night out.

Yeah, it's too relatable for them, right?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I saw Nikki Glazer.

She was pretty dark.

Oh my my god, I was just with her last night.

I love Nikki.

We're hanging out tonight, too.

Yeah, she has some dark humor for sure.

She's great.

I mean, yeah, dark, it's like, you know, dark humor is like if you've lived life and you've been through anything hard, you have to like make it funny, you know, or you can just be a victim to it, but that's boring.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And one of the things you did to deal with your dark past was taking ayahuasca, right?

Oh my God, yeah.

I've done ayahuasca twice.

What was that like the first time?

So ayahuasca

changed my life.

It was very have you ever done it?

No, I've done shrooms.

Have you done like a hero dose of shrooms?

Yes, I've done like an eighth of shrooms.

Okay.

So ayahuasca isn't, I don't even think it's even close to that because, you know,

it's a medicinal practice.

So you go in with intentions.

Like I wrote down the intention to heal.

my mother wound.

I had a really tumultuous relationship with my mom when I was growing up.

She was borderline personality disorder, very unwell my whole life, and then ended up killing herself three days before before my wedding.

So it was like, yeah, there was just like a lot of, and when she killed herself, we were, we had been estranged for six years.

So there was just a lot of unanswered questions.

And I just wanted to kind of heal that part of me that felt like unloved by her.

And when I went in, you know, the shaman says, listen to your intuition on how much you should take the dosing they do from one to ten.

So ten is the max, obviously.

And when you're new, I think it's, or it's your first time, it's everyone's instinct to go a little lower and take it easy because it is, you know, it can be a really scary and intense experience.

But my instinct told me to take an eight on the first serving, and I did.

And it was,

I've never actually like talked about this publicly, but it was one of the most extreme experiences of my life.

Like I dropped into my mom's body when she was young, when she was a child, and like around 10 or 11.

And I experienced

like her life in quantum time.

So it was like, I experienced her as a child being sexually abused.

And then I like fast, it fast forwarded to her being pregnant with me because I didn't think she loved me.

And it was like,

you know, the pregnancy is like the profound amount of love that it takes a mother to bring a child to term.

It was like showing just like how much she loved me.

And then it sort of fast-forwarded to

her mental illness and her losing all of her friends and her getting uninvited to my sister's wedding and, you know, her and I not talking and just all of the like chaos and instability that was in her life and in her heart and in her head.

And then it fast-forwarded to the day that she died and I woke up because I'm her, like I'm experiencing this as her in the medicine.

It was the craziest thing ever.

And I just knew it was the day I was going to kill myself.

Like, I woke up, I got dressed, I put on like black clothes, I took pills, I drank booze, I went in the basement,

and there was like a really emotional period where like, you know, I'm crying as her, like, I was feeling all the pain that she felt.

And then when she, she/slash, I took the gun to her head and pulled the trigger, it was done.

Like, the pain was gone.

Like, it was just like

she's at peace now, you know, like she's good.

Like, all the pain that she was holding was of this world.

and

um

i

was just crying i was like i just i miss my mom i want to see her i want to tell her i love her and the medicine was like if you ever want to see her look in the mirror like you are her and you you get to live the life that she always wanted to

and that was when you do a ayahuasca ceremony it's three doses three servings a night two nights in a row.

That was serving one, night one.

Oh my god.

And like, after I'm like crying, it's like look in the mirror and i'm like it's like ding ding ding do you want more and i'm like what the fuck like how could i ever like what else does the medicine have to show me and then each dose was something different like something different that revealed you know the the way that i deal with relationships improperly the way you know just like it everything every time i took it it showed me something and then finally it did nothing and i went to the shaman i was like it's doing nothing and that she's like well the medicine knows you're done Wow.

You know, like you, you came for what you got.

And I did, because, you know, if I didn't know that my mom had those kind of challenges in her childhood, because she never talked about them when she was alive, I could never have understood the way she was, the way she was.

You know, it kind of made everything that she did when I was growing up make sense.

So that's so deep because you got to see her perspective, which you never understood.

And feel it.

Like, I feel like I lived her life because

I literally did, like, every impactful thing, it's like

I felt all of it as her.

And I just, I remember we did like a sharing circle the next morning, and people were like, you know, I saw my dog is in heaven and like everything's great.

I was like,

I was like, I don't think I can share this.

Like, I don't think I can sit here and share that I like dropped into my mom's life and got like sexually assaulted.

Like, it was just a lot.

So I just was like, you know what?

I'm not going to, you know, share it.

I've never shared that publicly either.

So hopefully her family doesn't have access to this podcast because they're going to find some shit out.

They might see that.

It's crazy how similar our parents' journeys are.

Oh, really?

My dad was sexually assaulted.

Okay, by

some guy in a school.

Okay.

And then, so he had Asperger's and he had, what do they call it, bipolar.

Yeah.

So my whole childhood, I'm like getting yelled at and stuff.

And I don't know why.

I think I'm doing the right thing.

And then he actually committed suicide too a few years ago.

And I was like, wow,

like, was I not there for him?

I felt that way because we didn't talk that much.

Isn't it interesting when someone commits suicide, how everyone around them is like, could I have stopped this?

Or in some way thinks it's their fault?

Like,

I do hope that you release that because that's not, I think, you know, I'm very spiritual and I think God's plan is perfect.

And even if something ends kind of tragically, it's like that was their soul's journey this time.

You know, it's

not in your control.

You know, I think you just kind of have to release any like shame or guilt or like, was I not enough?

Or, you know, because it's like, then that just taints the rest of your time on this earth.

I agree.

Yeah, I felt that way.

And I actually hired a spiritual coach.

I don't know, people watching this might think we're crazy, but I was able to connect with him.

Literally don't care.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like, okay.

Yeah.

But no, I was able to connect with him, get some answers.

But I do want to do ayahuasca.

Yeah.

It's on my list.

Yeah.

I also worked with Thomas Thomas Dale, who,

you know, he does, he's a clairvoyant and he connects with the other side.

And he told me some, some of the stuff that was exactly the same of what I experienced during the ayahuasca trip.

But he told me before, like, I met with him before, and he told me all of this stuff.

Yeah.

Had all these crazy details about her childhood and things that like he would have never known, even if he dug to the fucking depths of the earth to find out.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, I think, you know, if you've ever lost a loved one and you're open to that kind of thing, there are people who can help you connect with them again.

absolutely during that process is that when you started going sober so i got sober right after my mom's funeral the day after her funeral it was december 10th and december 11th was when i had my last drink because i knew that her you know i kind of drank at her my whole life i was so mad at her and i was like very like defiant and she always called me an alcoholic so i was like i'm gonna show you an alcoholic you know but i also wanted to have like all the things that she never had like a loving partner and a great job and all of these things and still drink.

Be like, it's not the drinking that's the problem.

It's you that's the problem, you know what I mean?

Wow.

So I was drinking at her in a sense.

And then, like, I wanted to stop.

I felt that it wasn't serving me anymore, but I was like, just so defiant.

And I so wanted to like prove something to somebody who, like, wasn't even in my life in any capacity, even before she killed herself, you know?

So when she died, I was just very relieved

because, and people don't like hearing that you're relieved when somebody commits suicide, but like when somebody is on earth struggling every single day every single day is a struggle they're not willing to get help and it's not gonna get better then it is a relief to know that they don't have to to endure this life anymore you know but then I was also relieved for myself because I'm like I can stop this elaborate performance art piece to try and prove to her that alcohol is not the problem because it is fucking killing me wow and so I yeah I got sober the day after

her funeral dang were your parents together during this no no they got separated they were divorced when I was very young.

They had a very nasty divorce, and it lasted like seven years.

It was like, yeah, it was a long time.

You grew up with your mom mainly.

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No, it was always 50-50, but they were always fighting.

Wow.

And then my dad ended up just giving up.

He's like, you can take the land and the houses and everything.

Just like, I I just want to see the kids.

Our stories are so similar.

I think we're meant to be connected.

Oh, my parents, same thing.

The nasty divorce during my childhood lasted years.

My dad got so scared.

I didn't see him for like a year.

So scared of what?

Just the divorce just ruined him.

He spent so much money on legal, yeah, yeah, yeah, fighting it.

And then he just gave up and left for like a year.

Yeah, yeah, that's, I mean, that's a crazy thing.

Is like when my family started dividing itself,

we had land and

you know, know property and homes, and we were like well off.

Like we were one of the you know more successful families in like my school for sure.

And then

through seven years of legal battles, it's like all the money goes away.

And I'm like, do you guys want to start over?

My mom was in real estate and then like, you know, the bubble burst in 2008 and that's like when her life really, I don't think she ever really recovered from that because her identity was so attached to being wealthy and to having money and to being successful.

And so once that happened and she couldn't figure it out, she just started suing people.

And it was always just fucking chaos.

But yeah, it's really sad to watch people like fight and waste all your money and everything you worked so hard for just because you don't like each other.

Like just fucking grow up, move out, move on.

It's just bad for the kids too to witness all that.

Are you an only child?

I am.

You are.

You have a sister.

Yeah, I have a sister.

I have an older sister.

Yeah.

But that's.

So that's the thing.

It wasn't great for us either because

as siblings, we took sides.

You know, she took my mom's side.

I took my my dad's side.

And like, then as siblings, we weren't even united.

Wow.

So, you know, when my mom passed, my sister and I have gotten a lot closer, but our childhood was very divided.

Dang.

Yeah.

That's interesting, not to be close with your own sibling because of sides.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think my sister was also very afraid.

She was very afraid of my mom.

My mom was very scary.

She was very Stalin-esque.

She rolled with an iron fist.

So my sister just wanted to stay in line.

And

I was the opposite.

I was defiant.

I wanted to break the rules.

I wanted to go out.

I wanted to have friends.

I wanted to have boyfriends.

I wanted to get drunk.

You know what I mean?

Like I wanted to do all that stuff.

And my sister was like, just fucking do this and we'll be fine.

You know?

Yeah.

Did you know she had the personality disorder when you were growing up or did that come out later?

Well, when you're a kid, you don't know,

but you start to figure it out.

You know, like I would be like, my mom is not like the other moms.

You know, there's something off.

Like, you know, even though I wasn't allowed to like go to kids' houses or have sleepovers or do any of that stuff, I I had enough exposure to other parents at school where I was like there's something there's something fucking off with my mom you know and she was just so intense in a way that like I was talking to my stepdad about this the other day I call him my stepdad he was he dated my mom for like 20 years so they never got married but it's just easier to call him that I was talking to him about it the other day there was this girl that bullied me when I was growing up and horribly like very badly and but she was like she was a kid you know like kids when kids are bullying other kids in school it's because something horrible is going on at their house.

It's not like, I don't think kids just come here and they're like, let's fucking be evil.

You know, I think they pass.

I think all humans pass down bad behavior.

But she was bullying me.

And my mom, I remember, said, like, they were, she was, my mom confronted her.

She's 10 or 11 years old.

Sam, this girl, like pointed at her.

And my mom was like, if you point your finger at me again, she's like, I'm going to snap it off and stick it up your ass.

And I was like, I don't think you can say that to a kid.

I don't think you can say that to a kid kid at all i was just like you're very intense but yeah and then like the further it went along you know the older you get the more you realize something is not right and then i didn't really realize it was undiagnosed borderline personality disorder until

I got into therapy when I got moved to LA and my therapist was like, it sounds like this.

And then I researched it and I was like, that's it.

Yeah.

My dad didn't get diagnosed till 60 for Asperger's.

Damn.

So my whole life, I was like, I knew he was different.

I would see it.

He wouldn't talk to anyone.

And yeah, just looking back, it makes a lot of sense now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's nice.

It would be nice if you had the information earlier, you know, so you know how to deal with it.

That's part of the reason why I minored in psychology at Marquette.

I was trying to figure it out.

I was like, what does my mom have?

Because I always, yeah.

That's why you did it?

Yeah.

I was literally just trying to figure it out.

And I, I don't know if I was drunk through the borderline class or if I could skip the exam on that one, but I never figured it out on my own.

Dang.

Well, that's probably a useful thing to have for comedy, though, being able to read the room and everything.

Yeah.

I know Schultz majored in it too.

Did he?

Yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

So your way of coping with all this trauma, part of it was comedy, right?

Just telling jokes, dark humor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, like, I don't know.

Life is fucking tough.

And, like,

I know my life actually wasn't even that tough.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, we all have our own story and our own traumas and everything that we've been through.

But, like, there are people who have had much more brutal experiences than me.

But I do think that, like, anytime you go through something hard, for me at least, I'm like, I want anyone who's going through what I'm going through to feel like they can laugh at it, to feel like it's okay.

And I've had so many people come up to me, like after my shows, being like, you know, my dad killed himself, and I've never been able to laugh at it until tonight.

You know, like, just like, I've never thought it was, I never found it funny until tonight.

You know, and then on the flip side of that, you'll have people too who are like, you can't talk about this.

This is so insensitive.

And I'm like, let me guess.

Nobody in your life has ever committed suicide.

You know what I mean?

Like, you can always tell who has no experience with it because they are the loudest people telling you you can't say it.

And then the people who have experienced, you know, having emotionally abusive parents,

mentally ill parents, suicide in their family, they're all like, thank God.

Because it is so painful.

It's like, what else are we going to do with this pain?

And you don't want to just sit in it and wallow it and then be a victim to it.

You know?

Some people live in that pain their whole lives.

I saw it with my dad.

How did you deal with it when your dad Yeah, it's kind of messed up because like most people will grieve for a long amount of time But I knew it was important to understand what happened learn from it and move on quick.

Yeah, and

how old are you okay?

I'm 27.

Okay, you're young.

Yeah, so obviously I was crying like for the first few days, but then like I was like, let me find some answers.

So I how long ago did it happen?

It was two years ago.

Oh, that's very new.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I was like, I have a spiritual coach who's able to connect.

And I wanted her to connect me with him.

and I found out why he did it he was just going crazy yeah well yeah I mean it's like you know I've talked to a few clairvoyants and the one I talked to most recently was like you know my mom because the the clairvoyant literally said she's like she knows the timing was horrible because she did it three days before my wedding I was like this bitch like can we not ruin everything you know but she's like she knows the timing was horrible but she couldn't she couldn't hang out for another minute wow you know it's not personal yeah i thought it was because of me not giving him attention so i was just eating myself for like days.

And then I was like, let me find out why.

But he was generally going, he, he was in a psych ward and they put him on all sorts of meds.

And he was just going crazy.

Yeah.

And he couldn't take it.

Oh my God.

I, so when I, this is like parallel, kind of not related story.

I was flying to Paris from Toronto when I was on tour.

And I had a friend in Toronto and I was like, I need a sleeping pill for the flight because I need to like knock myself out.

So I wake up and I'm like on schedule in Paris.

And he's like, I got you.

And he gave me a pill and I didn't look it up because I was like, this is my friend.

He gave me, he gave me a fucking sleeping pill.

When I tell you, I lost my fucking mind on the plane.

Like, I was like, you know, when you see like crackheads going like this and like people like trying to get out of their skin.

I was doing that for like three hours of the flight.

And I was like, what the fuck did I just take?

Like, what happened?

And then you get in that fear of like, I'm never going to feel normal.

I'm never going to feel better again.

I'm never going to feel.

And then when I landed, I googled it and the pill he gave me was like a really strong antipsychotic.

And

if you have schizophrenia, it puts you to sleep.

But if you don't, it just makes you fucking nuts.

So I was like, well, this is a fun way to learn my friend is like schizophrenic.

And he just thought it was a sleeping pill.

Yeah.

So, um,

but, but the point is, like, I, in that moment, I felt like I was losing my mind.

And I, I, I empathize with your dad.

Like, I feel like if you feel like you're losing your mind, you don't want to be here.

I just think it's ironic how in the psych ward, they're giving you more drugs to make you feel crazier.

It's like, how is that helping?

Right.

You're paying so much money for it.

I know, but it's just the thing.

I, you know, I have a very conflicted viewpoint on

prescription meds.

Like, I

some people need them absolutely, and they work.

But a lot of them, I think, just like push down the problems and then we like never deal with it.

And then it just like, I don't know, it's kind of, I think

anger, resentment, anything you're dealing with, depression, it's kind of like a beach ball.

Like, when you, it's like pushing it underwater.

You know, it's like you can push it down and down and down and down and down, but eventually it's going to like fly back up.

I agree.

So I just, I, yeah, I feel very conflicted about all of that stuff.

100% agree.

I'm totally clean off them now, but I was for tribesanax in college for anxiety.

Yeah.

And at first it was great.

You know, if I felt anxious, I would take it.

But then what happens is you get so reliant on it.

So it got to the point where I was taking it once a day, then twice a day.

I literally blacked out for two months straight, ended up trying to quit at Cold Turkey, had a seizure,

almost died, got rushed in an ambulance to the ER.

And I'm like 22.

Yeah.

So I just don't like to rely on them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, Xanax is a motherfucker.

Xanax is a motherfucker because your tolerance builds really quickly.

And

yeah, that happens.

If you get trying to get off of it, cold turkey, you just fucking

my dad, too.

One of my soccer games as a kid, he had a seizure seizure on the sidelines.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've seen some weird stuff, man.

Yeah, I don't know.

I just think I'm very mistrustful of big pharma.

Like, I know that we're all anxious and we all have depression, and it's like higher than it's ever been in society, but I promise you, it's these fucking phones.

You think it's the phones?

You think it's the fucking phones?

It is a coin.

Yeah, it's correlated, right?

Because it's gone up as they've.

Yeah.

I just feel like people need to like get outside and take a walk.

Yeah, because it wasn't this bad with our parents.

Yeah.

Like they were in nature and I don't know if they were just

or maybe they just couldn't.

Maybe it was, you know, the boomer generation just like couldn't talk about being sad, so they didn't.

Now they're all alcoholics.

I don't know.

They're just nuts.

Yeah.

I don't know if it was the Irish side of my family, but yeah, all of them were drinking daily.

Yeah, yeah.

Just surrounded by that.

Yeah, same.

I don't drink at all anymore.

It's just not worth it for me.

When did you quit?

I mean, I'll have like a drink, but I don't get drunk.

I haven't been drunk in like five, six years.

Okay.

Since college.

Okay, wow.

Wow.

You too, though.

So, no, I know, but that wasn't, it wasn't since college.

I came when I was like 28.

Okay, so it took you a little longer.

I was going hard in the paint, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, damn.

Is that how you met your husband?

Yeah, drinking.

Well, no, I mean, we worked in advertising together, we worked at Zambezi, which is Kobe Bryan's ad agency in Venice.

Yeah, I didn't know he had one.

Yeah, he had an ad agency in Venice.

It was run by this guy, Brian Ford, who I'm fucking still great friends with.

I met like a ton of really significant adult friends when I was there.

It was my first job out of college, and

yeah, I was a creative recruiter there.

And my ex-husband is an art director.

And I met him there, and he was married to someone else.

And I remember when, yeah, no, no, I didn't do it.

Don't, don't you go there.

I didn't do it.

I remember when he got hired, I was like, this is the kind of man I would like want to marry.

Like, he was just like funny and cool and smart and had a good job.

And, but he was married and he was like madly in love with his wife.

And then we were just friends.

And then his ex-wife had an affair and got pregnant with the other guy's baby.

It was gnarly.

And so I was like, I'm here if you need me.

And then we like started dating immediately.

Okay, because I have the belief that guys and girls can't really be friends.

That's

interesting.

Just from a guy's point of view.

Yeah, no, I would love to hear from a guy's point of view because as a girl, I'm like, I have tons of guy friends.

So basically, and I've tested this on the podcast with other girls.

You could call any of those guy friends you have right now and ask them if they want to hook up and they'll say yes.

You think so?

Well, now that you're married, it'd be harder.

I'm not married.

I'm divorced.

Oh, yeah.

Well, then maybe.

Yeah.

Because sometimes they know you have a boyfriend.

But yeah, I've tested on the show with plenty of girls.

Really?

And they're all like, yes.

Yep.

Never gotten a single no.

Come over tonight.

Let's have some drinks.

Let's hook up.

No.

You don't think so?

I don't believe it.

We'll have to test it.

I don't know.

I'm not going to do it on the show because the people that I'm friends with are like

public figures.

Yeah.

I don't want to like fuck their lives up.

I don't know.

So you don't see them sexually at all?

Like, be honest.

I think about it with every single one.

And then I think about all the reasons why it would I would rather be friends with them you know why I would rather be but then I'm like also aware of the fact that if they get into a relationship with a girl who's like you can't have this fucking girl as your friend I would probably be chopped liver that probably happens to you sometimes too yeah oh yeah I mean I've like lost career opportunities because like

wives or girlfriends don't want me opening for people.

Right.

I'm like, you think I'm just like popping my pussy on the road?

Like this is a fucking job.

I'm not hooking up with everyone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, when there's business involved, I think it is a little different.

I'm, I'm purely speaking about just a guyfriend and a girlfriend with no business involved.

Oh, okay.

I don't think I have any of the,

oh, no.

Yeah.

No, yeah, I do.

I have a lot of stuff.

So all your guyfriends are mainly business.

Yeah, I would say I've met them all through like work.

Yeah.

Yeah, because comedy is just so male-driven.

It's like there's so many dudes.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, so standing out must be tough as a female, right?

Standing out?

Yeah.

Just because it's all dudes.

and you know it's really a boys club like they all like will have each other on their podcasts and like they don't you know what i mean like yeah like they it's all just like a rotating like you know everyone does each other's podcasts and they don't you know they'll bring girls on if girls are like you know if nikki glazer is like promoting a special or something like that they'll bring girls on but they don't they don't oftentimes lift up women wow i didn't know that about the comedy space yeah okay but that makes sense because i see all those podcasts i know exactly who you're thinking of yeah it's always all guys yeah and it's the same guys guys.

Like, they'll have the same guy on three times before they'll have me on once.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you got to fight extra hard to make it in that space.

Yeah.

And then I'm also kind of like, I'm, I don't, do I even want to fight anymore?

Like, I'm just kind of like tired.

I'm like, I don't know.

I don't, I don't really care.

I used to, like, when I was younger, I was so ambitious.

I was like, I want to be passed at the comedy store and I wanted this and I wanted that.

And I'm just kind of like, whatever's supposed to happen is going to happen.

I'm not going to like.

force myself into positions that don't.

Yeah, as I've gotten older, I've avoided more and more fights.

I've noticed.

Yeah.

It's just like stressful.

Yeah, you're just kind of like, just let it be easy.

You know, if it comes to you, it's supposed to be.

If it doesn't, it's not.

Well, Brittany, it's been fun.

Anything you want to promote or close off with?

Oh, no.

Just my Instagram is Brittany Schmidt, B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y-S-C-H-M-I-T-T.

Cool.

That's it.

Thanks for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, thanks for watching, guys.

See you tomorrow.