Jackass, Going Sober & Prison Stories I Brandon Novak DSH #429

There is a way up and out of your position provided you're willing to like buy into the process and follow the suggestions of what recovery looks like.

Our history doesn't have to dictate our future, but it can absolutely guide and direct it.

In this weird like parallel universe without getting too like spiritual on this, my poison has become my medicine.

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And here's the episode.

All right, guys, all the way from Philly.

Brandon Novak is here today.

My man, thanks for coming.

I appreciate the love.

Thanks for having me on.

Absolutely.

You got such a crazy journey, inspiring, and you're impacting thousands of lives, man.

So, thank you for what you do.

No doubt.

I'm beyond grateful.

And

to be quite frank, I'm simply on borrowed time.

So I'm just paying back my debt to society and doing as much as I can

to help those who are where I once was.

Right.

Borrowed time.

Cause you've had a few near-death experiences, right?

Few is like a understatement.

Legit.

Like there, you know, to be completely transparent,

I'd say for the better part of 12 years out of...

my 22-year addiction,

in between doing some things that some people would equate to success and happiness and potentially even dream of doing.

If you add up 12 years, my days were literally spent kind of living on this animalistic level where I would wake up and conjure up as much money

physically possible to inject as much as humanly possible.

Wow.

Go to bed, wash, rinse, repeat.

You know, so

you know, getting hit with Narakan, being brought back to life,

ending up on life support,

mede-vaced to emergency rooms in different states and countries were kind of like a Monday morning.

Damn, are you serious?

Okay, for perspective, my mother, she

was a nuclear physicist on the board of Mercy Hospital, a hospital in Baltimore City.

And kind of our family reunion would look like

usually once a month on days when I would go up to this area called Lexington Market and I'd kind of an open-air drug market and I'd buy 180 milligrams of methadone off of a guy, a girl, and I'd buy maybe four or five Xanax bars and I'd eat them and it was a guaranteed overdose every time.

Damn.

So that

was about three or four blocks from my mother's hospital.

And, you know, routinely, two times a month-ish, they'd cart me in on an emergency stretcher and

revive me with Narican.

And then they'd have to call up to the third floor and be like, Pat,

your son's back.

Oh my God.

Pat, he's, you know, that's, that was the reality for a long time.

As a mother, that must be so hard on her, right?

Um,

you know, my mother, God bless her.

So

at the end,

she had bought me a plot, right?

So I have a plot just awaiting my arrival.

Because for a lot of years, people thought that that was going to be my end game.

She had sold three homes to pay for me to go to two different treatment centers.

In the beginning of my addiction, she would get on her knees and she would pray to God, please, God, do not let tonight be that night that I receive that call that my son has circumcised to his addiction.

Please, not tonight, God.

And at the end, literally getting on her knees, praying to the very same God, please, God, let tonight be the night that I finally received that call, that he succumbed to his addiction, just so she could have a peace of mind once and for all.

You know, and

that's

the really unfortunate side of addiction, which is one of the main reasons why I've devoted my life today to letting people know that

there is a way up and out of your position, provided you're willing to

buy into the process and follow the suggestions of what recovery looks like.

Right.

You know,

our history doesn't have to dictate our future, but it can absolutely guide and direct it.

Love that.

You know, and I believe that.

And because of that, I

in this weird, like

parallel universe, without getting too like spiritual on this,

my

poison has become my medicine, right?

The very same thing that used to kill me on a layaway plan, one bag, one bottle, one needle, one pipe,

now allows me to use the platform that I built prior to sobriety through Jack, through Viva La Bam, through Skater, author,

which acquired a pretty big viewer audience shift, if you will.

I now can use that very same platform to let people know that, like,

you know, if you're interested in finding a way up and out of your position, here's a direct number to me and you can call me and we'll do the best that we can to get you the help that you need.

Wow.

So you yourself are on the phone?

Yeah, yeah.

That's crazy.

Legit.

Legit.

Wow.

So 22 years being addicted.

So that whole time you were having this success on television and everything, you were addicted that whole time?

Yeah.

And people had no idea?

No, they kind of do and did.

You know, so if you look at it, how that played out is

being from Baltimore, every weekend, me and another pro skater by the name of Bucky Lasic would go skate this skate park called Sheep Skates in Pennsylvania.

That's where I had met Bam.

Bam was my age.

We looked alike.

We skated alike.

We talked alike.

We dressed alike.

And I knew he he was going to be a problem

because he was a really good skater like me.

He was consistent, he was a contest skater, and he liked transition, which is same here.

And

we then started going to Pennsylvania every weekend.

We'd stay at Bam's parents' house.

Bam wasn't sponsored at the time, but I was through Powell, and he wanted me and Bucky to help get him sponsored.

And for whatever the reason was, it didn't work.

But we'd always enter this contest once a year called the Bricktown NSAs in Bricktown, New Jersey.

One year I didn't show up and Bam went to Bucky and said, yo, where's Novak?

And Bucky said to Bam, I think he's on.

And Bam's like, what's that?

Like, so young that he didn't even know what the

word.

That was around 16.

Wow.

Yeah.

You were in high school.

Totally.

And

I chose to pursue a career in

Bam,

you know, created the CKY videos, which, you know, netted him his first million dollars.

That's when he kind of began to become a household name.

Right.

and um

at that point on i avoided skateboarding like the plague it was like the seeing that that

ex that you like get away that you thought was like the love of your life you know because i skateboarding was my god-given talent like i that's

everything i loved cared and cherished in life yeah you were really good right tony hawk yeah

like you know that night i i got my skateboard at seven years old my very first skateboard and that night when my mother put me to bed she was like brandon what would you like me to do with your skateboard?

And I said, I want it in bed with me.

And she's like, why?

I said, because if I die, I want it to go with me.

The moment that board touched my hand, I knew I was going to be a skateboarder for the rest of my life.

There was no reason for like a plan B, a trait, or an option.

And

I had become that, right?

And I get to this point in my career where addiction seems more desirable.

Bam finds skateboarding and like kills that world.

And one day times are really tough in Baltimore.

And

I went into the skate shop, which normally I would never do because it would remind me of everything I pissed away.

And Bam happened to be there two days before on a tour with

a toy machine, skate company.

And they were doing a demo.

And Bam said to the skate shop, yo, where's Novak?

And they're like, we never see him.

unless he's coming in for money or something.

And so I come in for money.

They're like, no, but Bam was here and he left his number if if you want to call him to get help and get clean and move to Pennsylvania with him.

So a few days later, I call that number.

That night I'm on a bus.

He brings me up to live with him.

I move in with him and I'm on Viva La Bam.

I'm allowed to become a character on the show.

And I was known as like Novak, that like ex-addict who just really, the character I played was.

a junkie's dream for my reality, right?

Like the more outlandish my behaviors were, the more outrageous the antics became.

The higher the ratings went, the more in demand I was, the more money I made, which then just fueled more drugs.

So it was a watcher and repeat.

Wow.

You know?

So you did that for how many years?

For pretty much every, you know, for every episode that I was in.

I was.

But with that, during that era, Bam and the crew really didn't understand what addiction looked like.

So the rules for me were that I was not allowed to do any form of opiate or downer

or like Xanax or, but it was okay to do

and alcohol.

Interesting.

Because it was like socially acceptable.

Right.

I didn't fall asleep in mid-conversation.

I didn't like steal your wallet, wreck your car,

you know, die in your bathroom with a needle in my arm.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

So, yeah, that was kind of fair play at that time.

Yeah.

And then things just progressed, you know, and not in a good way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So 22 years, what was that final breaking point?

Was it a specific moment or incident that happened?

No, you would think that it would have been.

And it was a combination of events that took place.

And the reality was, my story, you know, ultimately ended up with me entering into 13 inpatient treatment centers.

I lost count of outpatients and detoxes.

My mother had bought me a plot.

People had taken life insurance policies out on me, life support.

At 38 years old,

I found myself as a homeless addict that just like wanted to kill himself on a daily basis, but I was terrified to hurt myself in the process.

It was terrible suicide because I kept waking up.

And

I came to

on my mother's stoop in Baltimore City, and despite

Skateboarder in these movies, TV shows,

a very

esteemed, published author who sold hundreds of thousands of books.

That was an autobiography addiction memoir.

At the end, all I owned to my name was eight scarves, two jackets, three socks, a stick of deodorant.

All fit into this bag that doubles my pillow, a needle, a spoon, and a restraining order.

On who?

My mother had served on me to be removed from her house.

Because Bam had kicked me out at that point.

The fiancé that I had became my ex, right?

Because, like,

unfortunately, with my disease and the severity and

magnitude of it,

anyone that attempted to stand between me and a drink or a drug must and will go.

Wow.

And it was never personal.

It was just business.

Yeah.

So even your own fiancé and mother.

Legit.

Like, yeah, yeah.

And that's why at the end for me,

people came to the realization that it was best to love me from a distance.

You know, and I agree with that, you know, because I was the kind of addict or alcoholic that if you told me you love me,

I equated that to 10 bucks and I got you.

Damn.

You know?

That is crazy.

Were you able, were you ever able to repair some of those relationships?

Yeah.

Well, now, you know, it's the irony of life, and I say this to people.

You know, if you if you buy into this process and you're willing to follow some suggestions and surround yourself with some really good-hearted people that actually have an idea of what the f ⁇ is going on and the reality of the disease that we've been diagnosed with.

Be careful what you ask for because you'll f around and get it.

Oh, yeah.

My mother, who, you know, she served me with a restraining order.

She bought me a plot.

She literally was praying for my death.

She sold three homes to pay for me to go to two different treatment centers.

The juxtaposition here is,

I'd say

five months ago, she's now my best friend.

I can't get enough of her.

I hang with her as much as possible.

And she's kind of, although being insanely intelligent, you know, the older we get, I think the more people revert back to childlike behaviors.

Right.

And she doesn't like to shower too much.

And she likes to eat candy.

And she doesn't like to brush her teeth, just like a kid.

And I had to take her to the dentist.

Yeah.

And they had to pull eight teeth.

Whoa.

And I...

Bring her out from the I live in Philly, so now I drive to Baltimore to put her in the shower on days.

I drive to Baltimore to take her to the dentist.

And I bring her out of the dentist and I put her in the passenger seat of, you know, like this Range Rover and it's pretty clean.

And

here's how I get right-sized.

I take her to the safeway across the street.

I go in to fill her prescriptions.

I come out in my passenger seat, windows rolled up.

She's knotted out with all these galls and like blood coming out of her mouth with a lit cigarette just burning.

And I'm like, if that wasn't me for so many years, you know, but that's that's what recovery has allowed me to do, become a son to my mother, Wow.

A brother to my brother and a friend to my friends and

a productive tax-paying member of society.

You know, everything comes full circle, right?

Legit.

It really, really does.

Wow.

What a story.

And now you're helping people.

You have facilities now to help people, right?

Yeah, yeah.

So,

you know,

I found myself in this position today, right?

Like,

I had no high school diploma.

I got my GED in the penitentiary.

When I got out of treatment, you know, my skill set looked like, you know, skateboarder, jack evil libam guy.

I didn't really have

any

traits or skills besides that.

And I remember the woman sitting down, the family therapist that was doing my discharge papers, and she said, What are we going to do to get you some kind of employment?

Because from that treatment center, I was going to go to a sober living house for a year.

And I didn't know.

I had no direction.

I had no

idea of what the future held.

I was just willing to believe in people that seemed to have a better idea than I did about how to go about this weird thing called life.

And she's typing in, you know, skills that I have and nothing's coming up.

And

thank God I had good people in my life and they did for me what I had never done in the past.

I had heard about this word humility, but it never really made much sense because I never applied it.

And they got me a job at a diner called Marianne's where I was washing dishes for $6 an hour under the table at 38.

After being like a pretty successful guy, at 38, I'm washing dishes at Marianne's diner for $6 an hour.

In my head, I believe that I should have at the very least been the president of the United States.

And next to a 14-year-old coworker named Brian.

And

little did I know that job was becoming the foundation of not only my sobriety, but life as I know it.

Wow.

Because I had these really good mentors that said, look, this is only temporary.

You show up 15 minutes early.

You stay 15 minutes late.

You do whatever it takes to make that establishment a better place to be in.

You give it your all.

Don't half-ass this.

And I did that.

And I started learning how to like mean what I say and say what I mean.

I started taking other people's feelings into consideration, right?

And because the core of my disease of addiction is that I'm selfish and I'm self-centered.

So it's like me, me, me, me, me.

And if I have two minutes, you, but only if it's going to benefit me.

Right.

Taking other people's feelings into consideration is not what I do at that time.

But nonetheless, I started buying into this process.

And through working at that diner, I started,

you know, I I absolutely had no self-esteem.

Self-esteem was non-existent.

I knew that it didn't exist.

I didn't know where to find it.

If I did, I would have done it on my own and not ended up in a 12-step program.

But I bought into the process, followed the suggestions, and I started working at this, what I felt was a meaningless job.

And this meaningless job started allowing me to pay my own rent at my sober living house, which is $165 a week.

And I started paying bi-weekly.

Then I started buying my own bus pass and I started buying my own cigarettes I smoked at the time, buying my own groceries.

I started to become self-sufficient.

Through doing these esteemable acts, I go to the TV bank, I get a pre-secured credit card.

I open up my own checking account, not one connected to a woman.

Like, I started to become self-sufficient.

And through these esteemable acts, unbeknownst to me, I gained this sense of self-esteem.

And I started to hold my head up a little bit higher and speak with conviction and not be so in fear of what you thought of me once I left this room.

Wow.

And I started to believe in myself.

And I stayed at that job for a year.

I stayed in that sober living house for a year.

Throughout this process, I became, when I walked into that detox, there was a video playing

of this guy by the name of Chris Herring.

Chris Herring played for the Boston Celtics and the Denver Nuggets.

And he was in the same position that I once was.

And they had his video playing in the treatment center.

And I was so desensitized to any form of humanity,

feelings, and reality.

I literally was just the shell of a human being that lived to use and used to live.

So nothing really got through to me.

And I'm about seven days sober.

I walk into this detox room and they're playing his video.

And he talks about how the therapist called him in and said, hey, hey, Mr.

Basketball, come in here.

And he walks in and the therapist said, I want you to do me a favor and call your wife.

And he throws him a cell phone.

And Chris said, okay.

What am I supposed to say to her?

And he said, I want you to do you, your wife, and your kids the biggest favor you could ever do for them.

And he said, sure, what's that?

He said, I want you to call your wife and tell your wife to tell your kids that you've died in a car accident

because you'll never do anything of value

to provide any form of happiness for your family as long as you continue to live the way you live.

And I could relate to that, right?

Like, I wasn't the guy that was scared of death.

To me, death was kind of welcome because it would have like put me out of my misery, but more so allowed my family to not worry.

Right.

Because I'm a good guy.

I don't want to hurt people.

But they were playing his video and at that very moment, I broke down in tears.

And I couldn't remember the last time I had cried.

Wow.

Like I, I mean, like cried like a baby.

Yeah.

And that was a fun

subject for me.

And I, And for the first time, although I didn't believe in me, I believed in him.

And through believing in him, I started to believe in me.

Right.

And

now I'm working at this diner.

I'm living in this sober living house.

A year into this process,

I'm

contacted by a treatment center in Florida.

And they said, hey, we've seen through social media that you've gotten sober and you're kind of speaking at different engagements.

Would you like to come to our treatment center and speak to the clients?

And I'm like, sure.

You know, and they said, when?

And I said, well, if it were up up to me, like yesterday, because during this call, seven people will have died as a direct result of an overdose.

Wow, that many?

Legit.

Yeah.

Like, that's how this thing is.

And that was then, and it's only gotten worse.

Oh, it's gotten worse?

Yeah, since the fentanyls came on the scene, it's, it's insane.

Damn.

And

so they're like, okay, cut to next week.

They fly me down.

They put me up at like the W,

this penthouse suite.

They tore me of all the facility.

In my mind, I think that they're going to ask me for like a donation.

Like they're treating me like royalty.

Little do they know that I'm working at Mary Ann's diner washing dishes for $6 an hour.

I think that they're still fixated on like this guy that I used to be on these movies and TV shows, whatever.

And at the end, They said, three days into this, I'm about to fly back.

They said, look, we didn't fly you here for anything.

Yes, it was to speak to the clients, but it's also because we'd like for you to be the face of our program and help people.

And I had always wanted to do what Chris did, but I never knew how to make that happen.

I didn't know how to connect with a facility or a non-profit and

find locations to speak.

I didn't even know that world existed except through him.

And it's a testament to my life that these blessings that take place and anything really good that happens to me is generally done unbeknownst to me, right?

Like the saying, thank God God is God and I'm not God because I'll get up.

Right.

And so I got into that working for this particular facility.

I always vowed that when I found myself in a position where I was financially capable, I was going to recreate that sober living house that I resided in for a year.

That I don't want to say did for me what no other place did, but I allowed it to do for me what no other place did

because I'm a firm believer when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.

And

so on my fifth year sober anniversary myself and a guy that I met in that treatment center who moved to that sober living house with me who we are now like thickest thieves and bestest of friends we opened up the very same

type of sober house one house 10 beds called Novak's house nice Today, we have six houses with 65 beds.

Incredible.

And

my mission, my goal is to never let price be a deterrent as to why someone can't continue with safe, adequate, you know, structure after completing an inpatient program like I had the ability to do.

Right.

So I travel around and I raise, you know, funds and have generous friends that like to provide to the scholarship foundation, which I provide if there's a bed available and someone's in need,

we do it.

That's amazing.

And

unfortunately, there's a really big need for my service.

I wish there wasn't.

I wish there was no such thing in Novak's house and I wish that no one needed what I could give.

But in doing that and realizing that like,

there's like a lot more people that I could be helping through my experience, through the trials and tribulations that have brought me here,

prove to me that mentality creates reality.

Right.

And

if I can believe it, I can see it and I can create the vision that I believe and or seek.

So I was like, it, I'm going to open up my own treatment center, just like the one that I worked for.

And it's basically like the Novak's house, sober living houses, but on steroids.

And it's called Redemption Addiction Treatment Center.

Nice.

So, you know, I've kind of created this world of a community, right?

The opposite of addiction is connection.

And what I could never do alone, we can do together.

It's easier together, right?

Totally.

Totally.

And I believe in it.

I get it.

I'm amazing at playing devil's advocate because I was that guy for so many years that much preferred to get loaded, you know, shoot, smoke crack, drink wine, sniff as opposed to accept your help to this like better way of life.

Because, you know, if the demographic that I deal with, primarily addicts and alcoholics, what that means is that we are defiant by nature, we hate authority, and we refuse to conform.

Because I don't know about you, but I possess this job and this job places me in a lot of positions I don't like to be in and it allows me to feel a lot of feelings I don't like to feel.

And that job consists of knowing everything.

So, so, so thank you, dear friend, for kindly suggesting to me what I could do to save my life.

But I'm going to kindly suggest why you should f off,

right?

Because I know.

And the scariest thing about my resume states is that I actually do know some things because I've done some things that people would accredit to success.

Right.

But the reality is,

May 25th, 2015, I found myself walking into that 13th inpatient treatment center, clothes literally tied on by a shoestring.

I had got robbed the day before.

They ripped my front and my back pockets out.

I had no underwear on.

I was completely exposed.

I had this button-up shirt on that they ripped open.

The only button that stayed button was this top button.

I had these shoes on with one shoestring because I had lost the other one along the way using it as a tie to shoot up.

And I walked into my 13th inpatient treatment center looking like a gay East LA Cholo gang guy.

And I came to the realization at that very moment that, you know, what I do know is that I don't

know.

And my very best thinking places me into a Catholic charities rehab that cost me $2 to get into as I'm taken down to the basement to this donations room where there's this 24-year-old year old kid thumbing through these boxes looking for some used underwear and I'm praying to God that he finds them wow how the f my mother's a nuclear physicist my brother's an attorney in the White House wow how the f did I get here that's crazy you know so your brother took a totally different path than you yeah

to say the least

were you guys close growing up though well he was never like he was so I believe I ended up with this beautiful thing called addiction um because it's weird I wouldn't wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Wow.

Straight up.

It's given me these like superhuman powers and it sets me apart from most.

Right.

Because you could be addicted to good things.

Straight up.

And now, you know, I'm addicted to just making the world a better place.

Right.

More so, I'm addicted to

the undesired people that most people shun or turn their backs on because I too once was them and now I'm pretty desired.

Right.

My defects have become my assets.

Right.

And it's allowed me to provide a lot of help to a lot of people.

And in this world of mine, anything that I give you, right?

Anything that I give anybody in any world, business, if I give you something that I have, I'm to walk away with less.

In this crazy, weird recovery world that I live in, if I give you something that I have, I walk away with more.

Wow.

Legit.

It's like a win-win almost.

It is.

It is.

So yeah, my brother

is by a different father.

Okay.

Stepbrother.

Yeah, but he raised me.

We grew up together.

And

my father was an addict.

His father was an addict.

So I believe I was genetically predisposed.

My dad was the kind of guy who was around just enough to let us know he wasn't around.

He never held a job a day in his life.

Wow.

And he taught me one thing, like, if and when I went to prison, how to conduct myself.

And he ran with the Hell's Angels.

Okay.

He acquired the liking of crack.

and ultimately his body shut down.

He's no longer with us.

Right?

So, but it's crazy

the magnitude and gravity of addiction that the majority of people will never understand.

And thank God, is that

as a very young child, I came from a really good home.

Despite what that may sound like,

A, I've done a lot of work.

I've healed.

I know that my father was a sick man that did the best that he could with what he had.

After he died, I kind of came to that conclusion real quick.

Oh, you you were mad at first.

Totally.

Yeah, like we fist fought.

We sold drugs together.

We did drugs together.

We did not have a healthy relationship.

Got it.

But it took, you know, unfortunately him to pass, me, thank God, to find recovery, do a lot of internal work to not only come to peace with him, but the reality of my situation and

ultimately becoming accountable for my actions that placed me in those positions to create these resentments.

That's great to see you, you know, forgiven because some people have that resentment for the rest of their lives.

Totally.

And then, then, and I did, I was that guy for a long time.

And ultimately, what I did is I traveled through this world and I continued to shoot at you.

I continued to drink wine at you.

Right?

Like, I'm going to drink or shoot poison to prove you wrong.

Wow.

It's just, it makes no sense.

But nonetheless,

yeah.

So

I kind of was molded into becoming that guy.

My father, and the power and magnitude of addiction is from a young age, I recognized the psychic change that takes place upon an individual once they ingest a drink or a drug.

Because my father, Jerome was a great guy.

Everyone loved Jerome.

But when he didn't come home to make dinner at 5.30, And we heard him and his biker buddies pull in and the key hit the lock at like 3.30, we shook like leaves because we knew we were about to endure some that no individual ever have to bear witness to.

Really?

Right?

And so I, like, I could see that my father was a great guy, but as soon as he got loaded, he became this Dr.

Jeko Mr.

Hyde.

So I literally made it a point

through my early days coming up to prove a point that I would never become him and I would excel at everything I did.

Again, strictly to prove that I would never be that man or inflict that kind of pain on other loved ones.

Wow.

And little did I know, not only did I become him, I like trumped him

heavy.

You know?

Insane.

And I legit like lived my life

proving to my loved ones that like I'll never be him.

And that added to the complexity of my addiction because then once I started entering into treatment centers,

especially my first one, I walked in and I saw a building full of my fathers.

Damn.

And I'm like,

you,

this is not where I need to be.

First treatment center, I strictly went in there to prove a point why I didn't belong.

Right.

Focusing only on the differences, not the similarities.

This is just an overreaction at best.

You caught me at a bad time on a bad way and a bad day.

Tomorrow is going to be different.

And I mean it.

You're going to put me in a room full of my fathers?

F you.

That's how I saw the world at that time.

And I really believe when I said tomorrow is going to be different.

I meant it in my heart of hearts.

Strapped me up to a polygraph.

I would have passed with flying colors.

Now, every police officer saying.

Are you interested in coming on the digital social hour podcast as a guest?

Well, click the application link below in the description of this video.

We are always looking for cool stories, cool entrepreneurs to talk to about business and life.

Click the application link below and here's the episode, guys.

We wish everyone was as honest as you are, Mr.

The world would be a safer place to live.

And like, that's how much I believed what I was saying.

Yeah, but unfortunately, I'd wake up tomorrow to repeat yesterday's actions

just to be stuck in Groundhog's Day for like 20 years.

20 years, that's that's actually the longest I've heard.

Addiction, that's that's a long time, hence the blessing of me being here.

Yeah, you're here for a reason.

Any my anyone in recovery, right?

If you look at if you look at the uh the studies shown, the the analytics collected the data received from all these different studies they do all throughout the world it states that anyone in recovery

is to be high or dead wow right the fact that I'm not high or dead

is a miraculous equaling a miracle and B it defies f ⁇ ing logic numbers state that like unfortunately the majority of the world that's caught up with addiction or alcoholism dies as opposed to get sober.

Wow.

Right?

So I've truly been blessed with this gift.

And it came by way of pain.

It came by way of me dumbing my way into this situation.

You know,

after

my experience and my process, walking into that 13th treatment center, you asked the question, was it one thing?

It was a series of events that took place.

Every facility that I entered, although I thought at the time was a failure or a waste, whether I got loaded in there, I left early, got loaded after, none of those were unsuccessful.

They all did exactly what they were supposed to do.

They would plant these seeds along the way.

And after attempting to find sobriety so many times, I did the worst thing that I could have ever done for my addiction.

I started to acquire some knowledge.

See, ignorance is now no longer bliss.

I can't just roam through this life aimlessly, blaming you for my outcome, right?

And

the pain started to become great enough.

I'm only getting older, not getting younger.

I'm realizing that I'm not indestructible.

I'm not indispensable.

Everyone in my life is moving on, and I'm like stuck on stupid.

And the worst thing about this is that

I'm recognizing my behavioral pattern that continues to equate to this outcome.

And

I can no longer like justify, minimize, or deflect the severity of my addiction.

The handwriting's on the wall, and it's in my writing.

And I'm starting to recognize that I am the common denominator in my problem.

And if I just get the f out of my way, I might stand a chance.

And they had always told me the drinking is not your problem.

It's the thinking.

The thinking leads back to the drinking, right?

The drinking is the solution.

So you can't even think about it.

No.

Well, here's the life hack to anyone out there who's struggling with addiction or alcoholism.

If you're focused on the drugs, the crack, the pills, pills, the pipes, the needles,

being the problem,

you have a long road ahead of you.

It's not the problem.

It's the answer to the problem.

It's the exact opposite of the problem.

Wow.

It's the answer to it.

The problem is the thinking, attitude, and behavior that allows me to continue to return to my solution, right?

So if I just physically sit down my glass of wine or a bag of

it's not a question of if I pick it back up, but when.

Because the same addict will use again.

I haven't worked on the problem which is the behaviors that allow me to continue to repeat my past right and then i get into a program and they uncover the problem for me to actually discover the reality and in hopes for me to recover right so then i buy into this process and uh

and and i i'm like

22 years in this game

All I've done for the better part of that time is rearrange the furniture on the Titanic.

My ship sinks every time.

And

my very best of thinking has created this outcome where I'm standing in the basement of a Catholic charities rehab that costs $2 to get into.

And the worst thing about it is that

I made this happen.

So then I came to the realization that what I do know is that I don't

know.

And on that day, Memorial Day, 2015, for the first time in my life, I had finally been demoralized in just such a way

from drugs and alcohol.

I'd been beaten into a state of reasonableness that you had my attention.

And I did the craziest thing ever.

I actually followed through with what these great people were suggesting that seemed to have a better idea of how to go about life than I did.

Because every time I reached out for help, they were there and willing to give it.

And I took advantage of it.

And

I got here by way of just

admitting that what I do know is that I don't know.

I relinquished all control, which is great because no addict really would

have a lot of responsibilities anyways.

I got into the work and I had a spiritual experience.

Really?

The definition of a spiritual experience is simply a psychic change.

Yeah.

Meaning that I, Brandon Novak today, no longer look at things how I did when I was walking into that treatment center.

Wow.

I'm a free man that can go anywhere with anybody

anytime I like.

I'm no longer tempted by a drink or a drug.

Beautiful.

You know, I've found like the ultimate freedom.

And little did I know, all it took was for me to admit complete defeat.

The moment I admitted complete defeat was the exact second I secured the ultimate victory.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

You know, you got to put your ego to the side.

Everything.

Just admit that you were defeated.

Like,

defeated is an understatement.

And you know what?

I look back

and clearly, you know, what we've talked about, it's pretty evident that, you know, I have a pretty good head on my shoulders, right?

I never had a problem at getting things.

I could just never keep things.

Same with sobriety.

I could always get sober.

I could just never stay sober.

But I couldn't understand how looking back, and this is all in retrospect because what I've learned is that today my life has lived forward and learned backwards.

And now, having remained sober long enough, it's very, very easy for me to look back and recognize the synchronicity in life's events that have landed me literally in this chair right now that prove to me the God of my understanding is so much bigger and so much broader than my feeble mind could ever conceive.

But nonetheless, I look back and I'd be like, well, how did I get beat so bad by my addiction?

You know, not like every time I stepped in the ring, like I got like bloody pulverized.

Not like a fat lip or a bruised elbow.

I'm talking like teeth yanked out one at a time, eyes gouged out with knives, skinned alive, ears cut off.

Like those are the beatings that I'd receive.

And I'm like, how?

Like,

i have a pretty good idea of what's going on i have the wherewithal to understand like what actions create certain outcomes like what the

and and looking back now it's so easy for me to see why that happened it's simply because i never gave my addiction or alcoholism the time attention or respect it deserved because i possessed that job that consisted of knowing everything Right.

And then I

and this is what I will say.

I'll make this one blanket statement for pretty much every addict and alcoholic that may be listening.

And that's that we didn't end up in in addiction because we took the short bus to school.

Quite the contrary.

We get there because we're too smart for our own good.

Wow.

And then I end up in a seat of a treatment center that literally has the ability to save my life.

And I outthink myself right out of it.

Why?

Because the thinking's the problem, not the drinking.

Wow.

Did you feel like you went to 13 treatment centers, you said?

Yeah.

Did you feel like they saw you as a number on paper, or did you feel like they actually cared about you?

I believe there were different experiences at different times, you know, and I believe to be true that all of those were exactly what I needed at that time.

I don't believe that I don't...

Nothing in this world happens by chance or coincidence or luck.

The one time that I felt really humanized, seen, and heard was at

one of my family reunions in my mother's hospital in that emergency room being carted in for an overdose.

And there was this, generally the protocol would look like I'd overdose, they'd hit me with Narcan, they'd observe me for six hours and they'd say, okay.

This is the situation.

You've been an addict for so long.

What's your discharge plan?

What can we do to help you go where you need to get?

Watchmen's repeating, repeating, you know, head in the bed number.

On this one particular day, this nurse, and I'll never forget her, her name was Miss Jones.

And Miss Jones was a heavier set black woman, and she just had this aura of a woman who cared.

She slowly walked over to my gurney.

I'll never forget it.

She'll slowly walk over to my gurney and she came over, she put her hand on my knee, and she said, Sweetheart, how you feeling?

She didn't talk to me or at me

but with me wow and when I answered she listened she didn't already have a question ready as soon as I finished talking to hurry up and speed the process up to get me out to free the bed for another junkie that was gonna come behind

and when I answered she listened And then she followed it through with,

what can I do to make your day better?

Who do you have that you can reach out to to help you?

And that right there,

it made me believe that there was hope.

Right.

Because someone was seeing in me what I didn't see in myself.

And that's why I devote my life today to helping those who are where I once was because I f ⁇ ing get it.

And I will not talk to you or at you, but with you.

And I'll meet you where you're at not where I believe you should be or the direction I think you need to go in but like what can we do to make your current state a better place for you to live in right because I don't have to live there right like I'm gonna go on my way but I do know how to get you out of your position provided you're willing to

get out of your way follow a few simple suggestions That's incredible.

We got to find that nurse, man.

Yeah.

You got to start a GoFundMe nurse.

I know.

That'd be sick.

Like she probably did that to so many.

Right.

You know?

Probably, yeah.

If it was normal for you, it probably happened with others.

She genuinely cared.

That's so cool.

She cared.

And being in a hospital setting, you don't feel that way.

You know what I mean?

You feel like you're just there and they're just doing their job.

But for her to establish that connection with you, and you still talk about it 20 years later, it's powerful.

Dude, my phone's in the other room, but one of the most gratifying experiences I've had to date with Redemption, my treatment center, I just opened.

We opened in May, so we're just shy of a year, you know, nine months in.

And

I came across a 22-year-old kid named Felix.

Felix

had been in and out of foster care, in and out of treatment the majority of his life.

And I met him when he was completing a program.

And he didn't really have any faith in the future.

He's used to being in the system.

He's institutionalized

and comes from a long lineage of gang members in his family.

He's from the West Coast, California.

And I said, look, Felix,

if you give me three months of your time, I'll give you back the rest of your life if you're willing to buy into the process and follow some suggestions.

And he didn't believe in him, clearly.

Very same similar situation as me seeing the Chris Herring video.

He believed in me, right?

Through the stuff that I put out, platforms like this, people like you allowing me to come on and share.

And he said, all right,

two weeks ago, he successfully completed my program.

Wow.

He had 90 days sober.

And there's a picture of him in front of Novak's house, dressed, waiting for his ride to take him to his first day of college.

Wow.

That's beautiful.

That is the why.

That's the why.

He's now like becoming a productive taxpaying member of society.

And what people don't understand, and rightfully so, is this thing has such a big ripple effect and a snowball effect.

Just the fact that I am clean today, that if you really want to go down that rabbit hole, that equates to like one less needle being found on your child's playground.

Yeah, you've probably impacted hundreds of thousands.

Legit.

Like that equates to

one less mother

planning her son or daughter's funeral today.

Just that alone.

Yeah, you probably had friends that you lost, right?

So many.

And their parents had to bury them.

So many.

My mother was waiting for mine.

Yeah.

She was praying for my death just so she could finally have a

peaceful night's sleep.

Right.

Knowing that I was safe.

She legit went on Mother's Day 12 years back and bought two plots, one for her and one for me, because she was in fear that if she died before me, who would take care of me?

Wow.

And it didn't need to be that way.

And it doesn't need to be that way.

I work for the DEA now, which is insane.

Yeah, the DEA came to me.

That's crazy.

The DEA came to me.

They used to arrest you and now you're working with them.

The DEA like pays me.

Damn.

I get a check from the DEA by way of the DEA.

they have this summit that they throw in every state.

And it's called the 360-degree opioid summit.

And they came to me and they said, look, Novak, we understand and recognize that we cannot arrest our way out of this problem.

It does not work.

Wow.

They said, we were interviewing Pablo Escobar.

And they looked at Pablo and

they said,

how do we stop the supply?

How do we we stop the supply?

And supply, and Pablo looked at them and didn't bat an eye.

And he said, it's simple.

You stop the supply by stopping the demand.

Right?

Take me, for example.

For the better part of 12 years, if you do the math,

I started by saying I spent every waking

day hour coming up with as much dollars as possible to get high.

Just me alone out of that equation, just myself in my coming up on nine years sober, has stopped the demand.

Just me.

A pretty decent amount.

Yeah, you pushed it.

Just with what I consumed.

You probably spent a million plus.

Totally.

Just me.

And then I get sober.

I help a Felix out.

One turn into two.

Two turn into four.

Four turn into eight.

Eight turn into 16.

I don't have the answer with how to change the f ⁇ ing world, but I do know how to help one person at a time.

One turn into two, two to four, four to eight, eight to sixteen.

Before you know it, you're changing the narrative.

Right.

And what's happening now is now we're creating a better outcome.

The demand is slowing down.

Nice.

The supply is stopping because we're getting sober.

That's what I believe the answer or solution to this terrible epidemic is.

Yeah, they've been focusing on arresting the dealers, but even if you arrest the dealers.

You take one out.

There's 80 million that will gladly sign up.

Yeah.

Straight up.

Because the money's so good.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's just, how do we look at it?

And they taught me in treatment.

If I changed my perspective, I could change my world.

Yeah.

And I started seeing things in a different light.

I started to become accountable for my actions.

I no longer blamed you for my outcome.

No more victim mentality.

Totally.

The sooner I stopped pointing my finger outward and pointed it inward, I then was able to create a different outcome that I actually not only

liked, I started to believe that it was worth waking up the next morning for.

And then it became worth waking up and not getting high over.

And then it snowballed affected into me like being blessed with the ability to

have 65 beds that I you know provide scholarships for if need be and then they transition into paying $180 a week rent and then they become self-sufficient same thing I did right and then that transitioned into this facility called redemption where I can help more people I'm going to help you grow that to thousands of beds man dude I'd be beyond grateful such an impact

you mentioned earlier your dad told you what to do in prison if you ever got there how to survive yeah did you ever have to use that I did i went for a year i got sentenced to 11 and a half to 23 for a prescription fraud damn um actually while we were filming a jack

i i i earlier living at bams i woke up one day and i was sick and i was ill and i had this like leather jacket with all these pockets and i went through a pocket and i found a friend of mine had stole a script pad and he sliced off a script and wrote it out and it was a dentist script and

and i found it and i was sick so i go to the cvs up the street and I attempt to get it filled and I give it to the pharmacist.

And I'm thinking she's in the back filling it.

She comes back on the phone, and she says, He's got a black leather jacket on, he's wearing a black fedora, and he's driving a black Mercedes.

So at that point, I leave.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right?

No harm, no foul.

Simply handed a woman a piece of paper, never heard anything more about it.

Cut to like a year later, we're filming Jack

Bams.

I do a stunt,

the doo-doo falls stunt, where I roll in on this toilet and I shatter my my ribs

and I get a concussion and

they put me in an ambulance and they're taking me to the hospital.

And halfway to the hospital, like, Novak, there's a state trooper following.

And I'm like, that's cool.

It's probably just an escort to get us there quickly.

And I get there and the state trooper walks in.

He said, are you, Mr.

Novak?

I said, yeah.

He said, we've been looking for you for quite some time.

And he handed me a list of charges.

A couple were felonies for that goddamn salary.

While you're in the hospital?

Yeah.

You couldn't even wait.

Totally.

So now I have these cracked ribs like i cracked every rib but i have this concussion i'm starting to go into withdraw because i'm addicted to pills at that point and then from there they send me right to jail so i'm handcuffed to the bed couldn't even heal those ribs no no and then they take me to jail and i'm in the infirmary and i remember sleeping on the ground at first next to a guy who was in there with a colostopy bag and the bag's on the ground and it's like next to my head and

i'm like dude i need to get out because we're filming jack and i was uh slated to do the the Lamborghini tooth pool skit which ultimately Dom Vito got because I was in jail where they're gonna

tie the string to the back of a Lamborghini to your tooth and just

damn and and yeah did the tooth fly off for him they did yeah I think they did it here no they didn't do it in Vegas so you were willing to lose a tooth for that

well if you look at you know the scales of justice here I was the guy that would sign up to do any stunt because like prior to this newfound success that I have, which enables my addiction because I make money,

become a household kind of name, not a household name, but I'm, you know, I'm known.

Yeah, yeah.

Like,

I can do this, get paid through Paramount, end up on screen time and movies that break box office records.

Or I could like just go back to Baltimore and like eat out of trash cans and like

let men blow me

what I was was doing at a you know like like the so it was really easy to come to the decision or determination of like I was the guy that was down to do whatever and then if I got and then if I got hurt um because remember I wasn't allowed to do downers or opioids

but if I got hurt which I did a lot because that's kind of the point of jack like for things to go bad I'd get hurt they'd rush me to the hospital I'd get a script of pain pills from the doctor and everyone was like it's cool he can do that so I was like able to get high without any repercussions of everyone getting mad at me, which is what I really wanted.

Yeah.

Did they know you got arrested when you were in the hospital?

Yeah.

Oh, they did.

Yeah.

Did they come bail you out?

Yeah, but I didn't get out for like three days later.

Damn.

Because like

Delaware County was a tough stop.

And then you got sentenced for 12 years?

No, 11 and a half to 23 months.

Oh, months.

Yeah.

No.

Wow.

No.

I was just like a, I was a nuisance to the criminal system.

If you look up my rap sheet and it's, it's rather large, there was never any violent crimes.

crimes.

It was just like

thefts, possessions, petty thefts, just things to like continue with drinking and drugging that would support my habit.

Right.

Violation of probation.

Yeah, so it just added up.

I ended up on The World's Dumbest Criminals once.

Oh, yeah?

That's a good-ass show.

I know.

I know.

So I, and this is, so my, I've written a couple books.

Streets of, well, Dreamseller was the first book I wrote that did like insanely well.

It was recently revised in its 12th edition.

Wow.

Anyone that understands the literary world, 98% of books that are published don't get revised after they're first.

This thing is like

doing really well.

And I wrote this, I wrote that while under the influence, while sniffing tons of and drinking.

That's probably why I did so long.

It was about my life.

And I didn't want to write a book.

I had no desire.

I had no high school diploma.

I got my GED.

After that book was published while I was incarcerated in the penitentiary.

Wow.

But I never wanted to like write a book.

Bam kind of gave me this ultimatum because we would go and film Viva La Bam.

And when we were finished filming, we would go to dinner.

And Bam was always really entertained by my addiction and the stories and the people and the places it landed me in and around.

So he'd be like, tell this story, tell that story.

And he'd cast the crew at a bar eating.

And you could hear a pin drop.

So Bam's like, you know what?

There's new rules now.

You're going to write a book.

You're gonna

he gave me a notebook and a pen he said you're gonna carry this around I don't even give a f ⁇ if you're not writing the first time I don't see you with that in your hands you go back to Baltimore and I'm like here with the scales of justice again so so I start writing the book

I go to the Barnes and Nobles and and I had read a book that a dear friend of mine

Today, I didn't know him then, James Frey, he wrote a book called A Million Little Pieces.

He turned that into a movie.

It made it onto like Oprah's Book Club.

But I looked at his outline and it was 12 chapters.

So I legit penned a paper, wrote 12 chapters.

Wow.

My co-author was a guy that Bam

tasked with a job.

And he was a filmer for Viva La Bam and Jack.

He was also a professor.

He wanted no part of this.

He's like, please do not make me help Novak with this thing because he's hell.

And nonetheless, I wrote the book, 12 chapters, give it to him.

He turns it into 23.

Bam's manager gets me a literary agent and they shot my script around and come to an agreement with Kensington Publishers and Citadel Press.

Incredible.

So I and that book, you know, I've received like hundreds of thousands of pieces of mouth from over the world of people like, I read your book and I didn't want my story to get as bad as yours.

I have like 30 days clean.

Wow.

So, you know, again, something that I looked at as almost being a punishment or a task was really turning into be this biggest blessing ever that was going to play out way later in life once I found sobriety.

It sounds like nonetheless, so

I'm sorry.

I was like, why did I tell him all that?

So I get into writing the book.

That book does well.

I go to treatment.

Then I do the sequel to that one that just recently came out called The Streets of Baltimore.

So if anyone's interested, I also did the audio narration where I narrate the book.

Oh, sick.

We'll link it in the video.

Any major platform you can get it.

But The Streets of Baltimore, I talk about this story.

I was in a bad way in Baltimore.

I ripped this drug dealer off for $10,000.

I go in the projects, shoot all the money up.

He finds out this is me.

He puts like a hit out on me.

Wow.

My friend buys me a bus ticket from Baltimore to Crestabue, Colorado in Gunnison.

I go there.

It's like a six-day bus ride.

I have no money.

I'm just like stealing food at each stop and I'm sick.

I'm withdrawing.

Get there.

I come across the script of Xanax and I eat all these Xanax and I break into this one little gas station they have in town.

And there's like apartments above the gas station.

I don't remember breaking in, but I

apparently from the

reports, it says that I went in and I stole cigarettes, money, alcohol, and mentos, which I don't even like candy, but I still,

but I remember walking out and hearing the alarm of the gas station, and above it are apartments, and people were out looking down at me.

I remember this, and I go back to the hitching post because it's just this one little road up this mountain, it's a ski town, and I remember being cold, looking at the window, the damage I had done.

I'm like, why don't I just go back in?

So I go back in to steal more.

And that's, it cuts to fade to black.

Wow.

A few hours later, apparently I'm awoken by these police officers.

And they said, sir, did you break into this gas station?

I said, officer, what are you talking about?

I've been in my bed all night.

They're like, you f ⁇ ing idiot.

You're covered in glass in the gas station.

I fell asleep in the gas station.

So then I go to jail and I'm serving my time.

And I'm in Colorado.

And it's all these these inmates that I don't know.

And one day, they start, they're like, ah, that's that dumb.

They all start calling me stupid.

Yeah.

Like, why the does everyone call me stupid?

Come to find out, I end up on the world's dumbest criminals, falling asleep in this gas station.

Oh, my gosh.

They didn't even hit you up to tell you.

No, but then here's the deal.

So, again, recovery full circle.

The guy that I had robbed, ripped off, and I talk about this, I go into depth in the book.

He

put that hit out on me.

I ran to get away, go to jail, end up coming back, get sober, and he lived

not even a block from my mother's house.

So now I'm sober.

I have this like conscience, and I'm scared that like they're going to pay retaliation to my mother's house.

Right.

So, so around two years into my sobriety, I call him, and I'm making amends.

I'm making my wrongs right.

And I said, Damien, can I meet you?

I just got out of treatment, and I'd like to talk to you about something.

Now, this guy had paid to have me killed.

Oh, he already prepaid?

That's the hit.

That's why I jumped on the bus and went to Colorado to escape the hit that he paid.

God is legit.

And he said, yeah.

And I said, how about the Starbucks in town?

He said, no, we'll meet at a deserted park, basically.

I'm f ⁇ ing terrified.

I call my sponsor, right?

I had worked the 12 steps.

And the third step is we turn our life and our will over to the God as we know him.

And my sponsor said to me, well, you've worked the third step.

God is everything or he's nothing.

Take care of your business and hangs up on me.

And I'm like, fuck, man.

I go to the park.

I have like $2,000 or $3,000 on me.

What I'm doing is I'm going there

to make my amends,

to tell him what I did, let him know that that's not acceptable behavior, ask him if there's anything that I forgot that I left out that I may have done, and that I'm going to pay him back.

I'm here to make my wrongs right, cleaning up my side of the street.

And when I go to the park,

I started to explain this and he said, You don't need to stop.

He said, What you don't know is that I became an alcoholic and I lost everything that I cared about in my life, including my newest business, to my alcoholism.

And as a matter of fact, I just got out of rehab yesterday.

Damn.

He said, What you didn't know is that I was going to drink today.

And you called me right before I had that drink.

And I took it as a sign from God,

cut to today.

I've paid him back the $10,000.

He didn't drink.

And he's got like seven years sober.

And we're thick as thieves.

That's awesome, man.

Someone that put a hit on you, you're best friends with now.

Again, anything in my world, if I give you something that I have, I'm to walk away with less.

But in my world, I walk away with more.

Wow.

Brandon, it's been such a fun episode, man.

Anything you want to close off with or promote?

No, just, just...

You know, the disease of addiction is not a death sentence.

And as long as you're breathing, it's never too late.

The only time we fail is when we quit trying to quit.

And if anyone's out there that needs help getting out of the position they've created for themselves, call me directly at 610-314-6747.

Me or my employee, John, will answer that call.

Well, we'll link it in the video.

Thanks so much, man.

Thanks for the love.

Yeah, true inspiration.

Yeah.

Thanks for watching, guys, as always, and we'll see you next time.