Navigating the Modern Dating World: Straight Talk with Victoria Glazers | Digital Social Hour #27

What do you think of feminists?

I don't like them.

A quality man is not going to marry a non-defense girl.

The guy says, like, oh, you look like a blow-up doll.

I'm like, how does it feel to know that my plastic surgeries cost more than your vehicle?

All right, welcome back to the digital social hour.

I'm your host, Sean Kelly, along with my co-host, Charlie Cavalier, and our guest today, Tori Herman.

How are we doing?

Hello, doing wonderful.

Thanks so much for having me.

I'm so excited.

Absolutely.

Is this your first time?

On your podcast, yes.

I've done a couple.

Okay, cool.

So let's dive into it.

Let's hear what you do.

I am, oh my gosh, I don't want to say a TikToker because I'm a little too old for that.

But I'm a comedian,

but I mostly do my stuff on TikTok.

TikTok, Instagram, and I'm starting YouTube now.

But we'll do a couple of shows in 2023, hopefully.

Right.

And I've seen your TikToks.

I get millions of views.

So walk me through the process behind creating a viral TikTok.

Okay, so mine are easy because I'm basically hating on the easiest person to hate in 2023, a man,

a straight man.

It's probably thanks to Tate and a few others.

Yeah.

somebody called me a female Tate, which is really funny because I usually joke about not all men, but just mostly men that are trying to beat the traditional values in the relationship.

So men that are trying to be like 50-50, split bills and split rent with their wives.

It's like so crazy to me coming from Russia where everything is very traditional.

Wife stays home and takes care of the house.

And the man goes and makes money and provides for the family.

So, when I see here somebody trying to split Starbucks bill to me, it's like, what the hell is going on?

Can I swear?

Yes.

Oh, cool.

Okay.

Say whatever the fk you want.

I love that.

Have you ever been on a date where the man wanted to split the bill?

Yeah, yeah.

It was actually a very long time ago.

I think like 10 years ago, we went on a breakfast date, and it was one of the only times when I actually complained because the food wasn't good.

So anyway, they took my portion of the food off the bill and basically I just had coffee.

Then the bill comes, the guy grabs it and then he looks at me and he's like, would you like to split mine?

Oh my gosh.

And I'm like, that is insane.

You should have just said, I already took care of my half.

I don't know what this is.

Yeah.

I know.

I'm like, but I have never been offered to even split a bill, you know, ever in my life.

And that was the first time.

Oh, my gosh, of course.

Did you pay?

No.

I just can't.

It's against my values.

I feel like it's less awkward to just pay the bill than ask somebody to split the bill right.

Yeah, especially

yeah, yeah, that's a very weird way of feeling super awkward about asking for sure You know, it's interesting So what is the worst part about being a I don't know if you like the term influencer, but what is the worst part about being a female influencer?

The worst part

Actually, there's no really like bad things about it, but sometimes I just get so much hate, especially for the things that I do and coming from men.

And a lot of men, they don't really know how to express their opinion and argue with me on certain things that I'm posting.

And they just like say really weird things, like, you're ugly, you're a blow-up doll, your lips look ugly.

And I'm like, this doesn't, it's like has nothing to do with my comedy.

Right.

How, how are you, you know, just offending the way I look?

Yeah, so I guess that's that's like the downside of it.

So how do you how do you deal with these haters on social media?

Are you replying to them?

Are you ignoring them?

So I actually, when I first started, I would get so upset and I would cry and I would feel like I'm being bullied.

Now I literally take that and turn it into more content.

So I take their comments or their messages and they reply in a funny way or I actually make a video responding to them.

And for example, like I make fun of how they look or whatever.

If the the guy says, like, oh, you look like a blow-up doll, I'm like, okay, let's see what you look like.

And then he's like posing with a dead fish in front of like

fishermen guys.

Yeah, like one of those, right?

And then with like a $5,000 car in the background.

And I'm like, how does it feel to know that my plastic surgeries that you don't like, apparently, cost more than your vehicle?

Wait, they cost that much?

Well, I mean,

it's been a few years of investing into a couple of things.

Yeah, I never knew how much those cost.

Those surgeries.

I don't either.

And I'm scared of surgery in general.

So, like, I'm scared of the doctor.

So, if I can avoid anything at all costs, I'm up for that.

I made a promise to myself when I was a kid in fourth grade that I would never get surgery unless I needed to.

Because I'm that scared of it.

Yeah.

Like, do they knock you out when you're getting these?

Like, oesthesia and stuff.

I'm supposed to get my wisdom tooth out for, like, 10 years, and I just, I'm too scared.

Sean.

Yeah.

No, it's really bad.

Like, they're at the point now where I have fangs because they just keep growing out until they touch something.

Oh my God.

You're kind of scared.

I'll grab some pliers.

I just need to get that done.

Yeah.

I'll grab some pliers.

We can do it right now on the podcast.

No, man.

Okay.

They're through my gums.

Okay.

So they're all penetrated.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

That's bad.

So when you're making original comedic content, right?

Are you sitting down?

Are you like brainstorming, having a strategy session, or does it just like, are you at the grocery store and something comes to mind and you say, I'm going to make a video about that?

Yeah, so i usually just like write down an idea in my notes if i see something funny or i hear something funny and then i

whenever i have time and i get the inspiration and you know time to write it down then i just like sit down take an idea and i try to turn it into an actual skit sometimes it doesn't work sometimes i actually spend like a whole day recording a video i edit it I look at it and I'm like, I fucking hate it.

I'm not going to post it.

So I have like maybe 5,000 drafts of different videos that I'm probably never going to post.

I think it's the ADD.

Could be.

One thing that really fascinated me about you is you started a matchmaking agency, but it's very unique because you don't allow OnlyFans girls or former adult actresses.

Yeah.

Why did you go that route?

Okay, so I've had a couple of people,

actual friends of mine, men, that told me really crazy stories of their dating life.

A friend of mine, very successful millionaire, you know, has houses in different places, travels all the time, looking for a wife.

And he is in his early 40s.

And I said, well, you have everything going on for you.

Why can't you find a woman to marry?

And he's like, because my last relationship, and that's not the only one that happened to him, he was dating a girl for four months, ready to move her in.

And then suddenly she's like, okay, well, I have to tell you something.

Four months in.

She's like, I was in 400 different porn movies.

Oh my gosh.

And he was like...

Red flag.

How?

Red flag?

That's like a very burgundy one.

He's like, how do you not say this on a first date?

That's like a very important thing that you mentioned.

Just like if you switched your gender, if you were like a female before and then you became a man, I think it's very important that that's something you have to let your potential partner know on a very first date.

It has to probably be like, hey, how are you?

By the way, I used to be a woman, you know, yeah, it's got to be one of the first few dates, I think.

Yeah, yeah, like you have some guys wouldn't be cool, and some girls probably wouldn't be cool exactly.

So, because a lot of uh, and a lot of women uh got and got into OnlyFans thinking that it's like an easy money,

and a lot of men that are ready they can like fuck around with these girls, but then when they're ready to marry, they don't want a girl that has been selling her asshole for three dollars on online.

Sorry,

you said I can swear,

So

a lot of them actually have that problem.

And then I'm like, oh, okay, I should start a matchmaking agency and maybe do background checks on the girls before matching them with men that are actually marriage-minded.

So that was the whole idea.

It wasn't just one story that this guy told me.

He's, you know, flown girls from like Russia, Ukraine, other countries.

And same thing happening.

And he's like, why am I wasting so much time trying to date these girls?

And then at the end, I have to basically spend more time trying to find another one.

And it takes so much time, which basically most of wealthy men don't have.

So that's how the idea was born.

And we started BDOR, which is our matchmaking agency.

We do a whole background check,

adult industry check, and stuff like this before a girl gets listed on the website.

Charlie, it sounds like you would like this website.

Yeah,

we can definitely help you.

I have previously dated an OnlyFans girl, and I was actually going to ask, where is the hesitancy coming from for people to admit that on the first, second, third date?

Why did it take that specific person four months to finally come clean about their past?

Is it an embarrassment?

Is it fear of having the conversation?

What do you think from a female perspective?

So I think most girls, when they start doing the OnlyFans or any other stuff like this, they don't recognize the impact that it's going to have on their life and future forever.

Forever.

Yes, you can take some videos down.

Yes, you can change your handle, but at some point, after they're done with OnlyFans and adult industry, they want a quality man.

Here's the problem: a quality man is not going to marry an OnlyFans girl.

It's just, I mean, there are rare cases, and I'm not judging anybody, you know, God bless.

But

in most cases, men that are marriage-minded and they want

a woman to marry and have children with, they don't want somebody whose vagina is all over the internet.

So that's where this whole thing comes in: where a girl is like, oh my gosh, I met a high-quality man.

Sorry,

I met a high-quality man, and now

he's into me, and I don't want to push him away.

So that's when they try to hide it for a certain amount of time, but then eventually it's going to come out, anyways, whether he's going to find it, find it, find out, or she has to tell him.

Yeah.

So,

what is the sexy puma club?

I got to hear about this.

From what I saw, it was a bunch of girls that do not like guys.

But I'd love to hear what it is in your words.

You know, it's just crazy.

Internet is insane.

Yeah.

So I started

basically calling my

followers sexy pumas.

I have like 95% female followers, so I'm not even like paying attention to the guys.

So I'm like, hey, sexy pumas, how was your day?

And then people started recognizing me on the street and they would scream, sexy puma!

So I'm like, okay, I have to turn this into something.

So I created Sexy Puma Club, which is basically a club for women where we do like happy hours, like virtual happy hours, and we do meetups and

they get to

basically get discounts on my products.

They pay membership fees and stuff like this.

It's a very, very selected club.

And it's basically like fraternity for women.

What do you think of feminists?

I don't like them.

Really?

Okay, so here's the thing.

Feminism really is taking to the whole next level where women are trying to

become men, but then they want a real man that is

manly enough for them.

So it's like that doesn't really make sense.

Because the woman is like, okay, I want to be a feminist.

I want to be equal to men.

I want to get manly jobs and stuff.

But then, you know, then the roles are kind of shifting because then now, man,

I'm actually going to tell you a funny story.

We were at the bar with my husband and his friend.

And we were trying to get a drink.

And this girl was sitting at the bar.

And we kind of just like squeezed...

squeezed through her and my husband almost like not pushed her but he you know he just kind of like squeezed in to get a drink and as a thank you for letting us through he's like hey can I buy you a drink

she got offended and she was like you think I can't buy a drink for myself and I'm like oh my gosh if anybody is like buying me a drink I'm like please buy me 10

like go ahead

but That's where feminism now is.

Girls are so confused.

They're like, okay, I want the equality.

Great, sure.

But then they take it to a whole next level, which now men don't even know if it's okay to open a car door for a woman.

Or she gonna get offended if he offers to buy her a drink so and girls also have no idea if this is what they should do because this is what TikTok is telling them to do and all the influencers like Julia Fox and stuff she's just like being obsessed with hating men to a point where she's like girls you have to dye your eyebrows blonde so you look horrible and you're repellent and that is a repellent to men.

I'm like,

that is crazy.

There's levels to it for sure.

There is.

And it's getting more and more outlandish, if you will, right?

As a straight white guy, right?

Nobody wants to hear me talk about feminist issues unless I'm just sitting here nodding my head, agreeing, right?

Like, nobody wants to hear me talk about much anything because I'm a straight white guy.

How did we get here?

Because, like you said, right, I'm not scared to offer to buy somebody a drink, but there definitely is a second thought whenever I do something that would normally be a more traditional approach, which is what I believe in.

And now I feel that

you're getting in trouble for doing what 10 years ago was proper and polite.

Yeah.

So I think it's at a whole bigger level than just people being influenced into being feminists and stuff like this.

I think it's to separate the family as a unity.

Because if I have a husband and we have kids and we have a house, we are stronger than a person that is single, confused about their gender confused about their beliefs and watching tick tock where julia fox is literally telling that it's okay to kill men she did this video and i wasn't i was like excuse me it wasn't just the tick tock she did a video uh on somebody's podcast and she was like it's okay to kill straight men because they have a penis so if andrew tate said anything similar even like a fraction of what she said

well he's in jail now so i guess they got him they got him for basically saying that a man should be the provider.

Oh my gosh, I'm going to get so much hate for supporting him now.

You are.

It's okay.

So you don't hate all men.

You just hate certain men.

So here's the thing.

I don't really hate men.

I mean, I have a wonderful husband, but

I'm trying to explain to girls that

you know, being with an abuser is not cool.

Men that are telling you that splitting things 50-50 is cool.

No, it's not cool.

Like things like this, you know, so I'm not necessarily, but I'm trying to put it into a comedy format because then younger girls that watch me, they're like, okay, this is funny and she makes sense.

I'm going to watch this.

But if I would do like a whole lecture on,

you know, why you should not be with an abuser, it's boring to watch.

So teenagers, they have like a very short lifespan.

Oh, my gosh.

Attention span.

Attention span.

That's funny.

Please cut that part.

Apparently, we're being hunted to be murdered, though, so maybe we have a short lifespan.

Most because Julia Fox is calling for straight mic.

That makes no sense because gay guys have dicks, too.

That's true.

So I was going to talk about that comment.

Well, I'll send you the video.

It's kind of crazy.

Her logic is that men,

and that is why they should be killed.

Woman too, though.

I know.

I mean, like, it's just there's zero logic in the whole thing.

But, um.

All right.

So, you've lived in Russia, Canada, United States.

There was one more.

Estonia.

Estonia.

That's where my mom originally is from.

Okay.

What's been your favorite spot?

Oof.

That's very hard to say.

I really love California,

but very certain part of it where I live, Orange County.

Right.

Just because it's

less hectic and more fun and very nice and quiet.

We're close to the water, so I can go to the beach at all anytime.

But I did live in Vancouver for 15 years and I kind of feel like it's my home

even though I do like the weather here more.

So yeah, it's cold there.

It's not really cold.

It just rains all the time.

Oh, it rains.

It's like a lot, right?

Like 300 days a year.

300 days a year.

Probably more than that, honestly.

Even like summer.

Yeah, it's insane.

But you know what?

You kind of get used to it.

And then you spend some time traveling.

So whenever it's like winter time, I just take off.

I would take off.

And now I'm full-time here.

What is the biggest cultural norm that if you could bring to the United States from Russia, you would?

Definitely traditional values in the family.

And definitely,

you know,

marriage is a norm in Russia.

It's like here people are like, oh, I'm not going to get married ever.

I'm just going to have like three baby daddies.

Or, you know, like people don't really look at marriage as something essential

so that is definitely something I would

implement from Russia because in Russia when you're like 20 you start looking for a husband oh that early it is well it's getting getting better now but when I was living there I left when I was 15 but when I lived in Russia basically after you graduate university which is around 20 you start kind of like getting in a serious relationship and here's the thing people in Russia don't date people in Russia date to marry.

So it's like, we don't really have like

20 boyfriends before we actually do get married.

We have like one or two, maybe, you know, and then

I like that.

It has to, basically, whenever we date, it has to be leading to a marriage.

Otherwise, there's no point.

I don't see a reason to date other than leading towards something like real and long-term.

People make fun of the Western culture dating, the Western dating culture.

Like, they just say it's crazy.

It is.

And meanwhile, we're running around pretending that we're like the champions of whatever cultural cause people are taking up at the time.

Yeah.

It's very interesting to me to see how people are dating, especially here in America.

It's insanity.

I actually just posted a video about that, if dating was honest.

I mean, it's crazy.

What are your thoughts on like open relationships?

I

it's insanity to me.

I just, as I said, I think because my parents have been married,

you know, they knew each other ever since they were 15 and then they got married when they were like 20 and they've been together ever since, like, what, 35 years now or something.

So

I just don't understand why even dating or being in a relationship, if you're still fucking around, that it like never

made sense to me.

Then just be single and, you know, do your things, whatever, whatever, you know, whatever you want.

I feel that.

How can a woman attract a high-value man?

Enter sexy Puma Club.

No, no.

Just basically be somebody who you want to date.

So if you want to date a high-value man, be a high-value woman.

I see a lot of women that reach out to me and they're like, hey, you know, where do I find a high-value man?

And I'm like, let's see what you bring to the table.

And then we see a girl that doesn't have a job, that has two kids from two different daddies, that has no education, and is not willing to get anywhere in life, that makes no money and lives off OnlyFans.

I'm like, why would a high-value man want you?

You know, there are cases of love, of course, when people just like meet and madly fall in love and they're like, oh, I'm going to be with you regardless of what...

you know, you're doing.

But in most cases, when people meet and they see somebody who is not at their level, they don't want that person.

No matter how good looking they are or, you know, if they even do have some sort of affection and stuff.

It's just not going to work long term because

when levels are too far apart, you can't,

even your mindset is different.

Because one person is constantly in a survival mode when she's like, oh, I need like $1,000 to pay my rent and I need to find it.

When a high-value man is like, where am I traveling to next?

Which is the next yacht I'm buying?

You know, stuff like this.

Which is like the next, me either.

I get so sick on them.

You wouldn't go on a cruise?

Sean tried to get me to go on a cruise.

I'm going to do it.

I've committed because he's, you know, one of my best friends.

Have you?

Why don't you like boats?

I don't like the gravity.

I can't feel gravity underneath me.

So, what kind of cruise?

Like a big cruise?

Yeah, gay cruise, 3,000 people.

It's for old people.

We're old souls.

You're so introverted, just like me.

I love it.

It was a lot of families when I went, actually.

There are cruise lines that are older, though.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't like boats for two reasons.

Number one, I don't like the gravity.

I just get seasick all the time.

Number two, I don't like somebody operating

a boat where I

have no way to leave.

So in Vancouver, there is a huge boat community and people party all the time.

So during summertime, it's like everybody goes on everybody's boats.

They do tie-ups.

They do boat parties and stuff like this.

And I was on one.

We almost died because the guy was like so high on drugs, so so drunk and he was the only one.

I have no idea how to operate the boat.

I mean I can probably figure it out but I'll be stressed as hell.

So I was like stuck on that boat and it was very stormy and I was basically thinking we're gonna die.

That's why I just I can't have somebody else controlling being in control of my life while I can't leave.

You probably don't like flying either.

I don't I don't mind flying because chances of of pilots captains being wasted are like unless they're in russia i'm kidding

uh but chances of them being drunk or high are probably like zero i hope i don't know but when you go on a boat party most probably uh the guy that's driving the boat is right gonna that's when all the boating accidents happen when they're drunk yeah do something and stuff so i don't know I'm not sure about boats.

So personal advice for all of the straight guys out there who are getting, you know, the hate in 2023, what is your advice to them to navigate these treacherous waters that we're in?

My gosh, just always be a gentleman and stick to your values and be a high-value man because there are world is really changing now because sex used to be such a

hard thing to get.

Now it's the easiest thing to get.

But everything kind of evolves and turns around.

So I have a feeling that it's going to go back to where women are going to be more into being modest.

You know,

you know, so if you're a high-value man, just focus on yourself, do your things, become the best version of yourself, and eventually you are going to meet those high-value women.

They exist, they are always going to be existing.

It's just because you don't see their buttholes on the internet.

They're all in the sexy puma club.

They're all in the sexy puma club.

You ran away from home at 15.

Can you explain what happened?

So,

I,

oof.

Okay.

I've always wanted to live abroad.

That was the whole

idea.

But the main thing that led to it, I had very bad relationships with my dad.

And the reason for that, my dad is overly protective person,

which makes sense in Russia, honestly, because I got robbed when I was 14.

Somebody just, girls, actually, not even guys, ran up to me, like three girls, and ripped earrings off my ears.

So I still have like rupture and stuff.

But

he wouldn't let me go out.

I was not allowed to have a boyfriend.

I was not allowed to, I was going to like a girls' school.

I was not allowed to wear short skirts and this and that.

So

when I was a teenager, I started protesting against that and we started fighting a lot.

And eventually

everybody decided in the family that it would be best if my dad and I are separated.

So, I

went to Canada, and the whole point was that I'm going to only study for a year and then go back.

That was the deal I made with my dad.

He wanted me to get married right after school.

So, when I was like, let's say, 17 or something.

So, he said, okay, you go to Canada, go to school, we have a good guy for you.

You come back in a year or a year and a half, and then you know you do the marriage and we get to uh get you to university here and job and stuff like this so i went to canada and literally the moment i went to downtown toronto and i looked around and i was like i'm never fucking leaving

i'm not going back to russia there is no way especially i'm from a very small tiny town in russia which has nothing basically like no high rises, no cool places.

And then when I saw the Toronto, all, you know, basically that looks like a New York in a way, right?

Like so cool.

I'm like, I'm not going back.

So then

I told my dad, and my dad cut me off financially.

So he basically stopped giving me money.

And I had to work three jobs.

I went to university.

And I was still the happiest person ever because I was like, as long as I'm not in my town

and not married to some guy that I have never met in my life, just because my dad thinks that he's a good boy,

I'm going to be great.

Wow.

So he wanted you to have an arranged marriage, basically?

Yeah, most people, or I should say most successful people in Russia, do that.

It's not like an arranged marriage where you don't see the person

before like your wedding day or something.

It's more like two wealthy families get together and they're like, okay, we have a boy, you have a girl.

Interesting.

Which is going to put them together.

And that's very traditional.

I mean, two powerful families want to strengthen the power of their families, so you basically make an alliance with somebody else.

Yeah, my grandparents were arranged.

Yeah, and it works in most cases, or maybe it doesn't anymore.

I have no idea, but I did not want that.

What's the divorce rate in Russia?

Is it as high as the U.S.?

There's no divorce in Russia.

Oh, really?

First of all, it's a very expensive procedure to go through.

So most people, they don't divorce even if they're no longer kind of in love with each other.

They just live together, you know, maybe they don't sleep together, but you know,

there's

I have,

I'm sure it's a very, very low rate.

Yeah, just like 50 in the U.S.

Yeah, it's horrible in the US, like 50%.

I think you're slipping a coin.

Yeah, I mean, it's cheaper to get divorced than married.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

I mean, look at Las Vegas.

People get married there like every 15 minutes.

Although we heard a story about 42 days and it worked out for you.

Yeah, it did.

Yes.

It somehow did.

But mind you, the 42 days really was from the moment we actually met in person.

But we've been talking for quite some time before, and we would talk like almost every day.

So, this is actually very coincidental.

I had a meeting with somebody who's in Moscow this morning, and we have a standing invitation to go to Russia whenever we want.

They're going to show us around.

We hear everything on the news, politics, everything.

What is it like for an American to go to Russia right now?

You know, here's the thing.

There are crazy people everywhere, right?

So, for most part, especially if you're with somebody who speaks Russian, you're safe, especially if you're in Moscow.

You would be more in danger if you go to a small place like where I was born, because people there are a little bit less educated

and there are no foreigners from

where I'm from.

Moscow now is very multicultural.

We have people from everywhere, we have people from China, we have people from Canada, we have one of the biggest international universities in Moscow where

you meet people of all different ethnicities, all different nationalities.

So you are safe going there with somebody who does speak Russian.

I wouldn't recommend going there if you're just by yourself and you don't know anybody and you don't speak Russian because most people do not speak English.

So you are going to have a problem.

But Moscow is beautiful.

If you go, please go to White Rabbit Restaurant.

It's, I think, two

Michelin star restaurant.

It's incredible.

That sounds good.

Yeah.

We might have to go to Russia.

I'm down.

Go, it's fine.

And flights now are cheaper.

We gotta wrap this up, but what are you working on next and where can people find you?

I am Tori Herman, everywhere.

T-O-R-R-Y-H-E-R-M-A-N-N.

Mostly active on TikTok and Instagram.

You also can find everything that I do on my web website, www.toriherman.com.

My next big thing that I'm working on is basically my matchmaking agency.

It just started a week ago, literally, and we're going to be expanding more in

the next few months.

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