Champions League final preview, plus Chelsea win a thing! – Football Weekly Extra podcast
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This is The Guardian.
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Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.
Chelsea win the Europa Conference League.
Yes, they probably should have done and yes, the Conference League isn't designed for a club who spends a billion pounds, but still a trophy is a a trophy rhys james introduction at halftime made a difference and then cole palmer's effortless brilliance set up the goals that turned the game around so this young side under enzo maresco finished fourth and win a trophy at the end of an odd season that's exactly what they needed to achieve we'll look ahead to the champions league final psg a favourites as everyone continues to underestimate inter but can the grizzled old italians keep the pace with that midfield and that strike force there's plenty of transfer chat to get on with your miles new contract Zuba Mendi to Arsenal, Kunya to Manchester United, who get booed off the pitch after losing in Malaysia.
Let them have some time off, for goodness sake.
All that, plus your questions.
And that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.
On the panel today, Barry Glendenning, welcome.
Hi, Max.
Lars Civitson, hello.
Hi, Max.
And good morning to Mark Langdon from the Racing Post.
Hey, Mark.
Hi, Max.
Let's start then with the Europa Conference League final.
Sam says, I was wondering who you'd get on after Chelsea won a cup, seeing as though the pod always has a fan of a winning club on the next pod.
Nope, three Spurs fans.
I mean, that is fair.
And we don't have a lot of Chelsea in our squads.
And we should congratulate Chelsea.
And I was just, and I have written, Barry, but after Palace, Spurs, you know, Aberdeen, Arsenal ladies, the romantic winner of this was Rael Bettis in their first European final.
Yeah, it would have been a nice story.
They've never won a European trophy.
I'm not sure they've ever won a trophy.
They might be in the Crystal Palace situation going into this final.
And
their fans were really, really invested in this.
They sold out their allocation.
The fans were clearly quite up for it.
The players were massively up for it.
And for the first 30, 35 minutes, it looked like they might win it because they completely outplayed Chelsea.
Isko was running the show.
He was popping up everywhere.
Some lovely touches, lovely passes.
He set up
their goal.
They probably should have been 2-0 up going in at half-time.
Could have been 3-0 up going in at half-time.
And if they had been, that would have made things very, very interesting indeed.
But they came up against this Behemoths, financial Behemoth, who had just too much quality for them ultimately.
Too much quality on the bench, vastly superior reserves on the bench.
And they eventually got spotted aside.
So, well done, Chelsea.
I mean, they were on a hide into nothing in this because everyone it was expecting them to win it and I think Heidenheim and Real Bettis are the only two teams from Europe's five top five leagues they've played in their 15 matches in this competition but it's good for Maresca it's good for the players they they clearly were enjoying themselves the travelling fans enjoyed themselves They get a few quid in the kitty and it's a good springboard, I suppose, for a young team going into next season's Champions League.
Yeah, and I suppose that's the point isn't it lars that it's not their fault that they were in i mean it is their fault they were in it i guess because they finished eighth but you know it's not those players once you've got once you're in it you might as well win it and if you win it you might as well enjoy yourself doing it yes i'm going to split on this because you'll be baffled to hear that i don't think chelsea should be in this tournament in any way shape or form but
the thing about this Todd Bowley Chelsea thing, which has been very funny and we've we've mocked it a lot, is that I have over time started feeling a little bit sorry for the players.
because at the end of the day and i've touched on this before in the pod the players don't actually pick their transfer fee like it's it's not it's not that it's nothing to do with them in that sense and toddbole and the blue co lads have gone out and spent an unfeasible amount of money but they've spent it on almost exclusively young players which is it's an interesting strategy for the future but it has left them with the squad of a lot of talented players but they're unbalanced there's not enough experience there's not enough like proven leadership and stuff in there and the players have ended up taking a lot of the flack for the underwhelming results that have followed.
And we had the whole sort of Gary Neville billion-pound blue bottle job stuff.
And after a while, I started to think,
it's really not the players' fault that they've assembled this sort of slightly nonsensical squad of guys who are all under 23.
And it's kind of left me thinking when you see them celebrating this, yes, of course,
I can rattle off all the financial stuff.
Like, Bettis,
Chelsea have spent more in the last two seasons than Bettis have since the year 2000 and all this sort of stuff.
But these are players who have actually gone through quite a lot in terms of public criticism for things that are not entirely their fault.
It's much more on Todd Bowley and the guys running the club.
And I did find myself actually being quite happy for them last night.
And I say this as a Spurs fan who finds this version of Chelsea particularly ridiculous, but it's not really the players' fault.
And of those players, Mark, Cole Palmer, I mean, he really showed up in that second half.
And he obviously started the season so brilliantly.
And then he went on this really sort of barren run.
But both those assists are just beautiful examples of how brilliant he is.
Yeah, and the first hour, not good from Chelsea or Palmer.
And I was actually thinking, oh, like, you know, Palmer's been really quiet in this game.
And then probably about two minutes later, just an unbelievable cross.
Good run from Fernandez.
And the game turned really on that moment.
It was
sort of brilliant from Palmer.
Back to the form, like you said, Maxim, sort of of earlier on in the season and then the turn for the second goal um where the defender doesn't quite know which way um to run and ends up going away from the ball and um you know he centers it and jackson gets something onto it it was a weird finish from jackson who rarely seems to score sort of normal goals but um yeah it was fantastic from palmer it made me then think about chelsea kind of next season and their reliance on palmer which i think their form has very much followed Cole Palmer.
So he was fantastic up until Christmas, and then there was talk, could they be in the title race?
He went quiet, and Chelsea went quiet, and they looked to him so much for inspiration that
next season's Premier League, I think, is one where Chelsea can get involved in the title race if they
sort of address key areas in
the transfer window.
I think they've got the cash to do so.
And it is just around, I think, just being less reliant on Palmer.
and that might actually help him, you know, deliver
more often because he,
I think, has felt it a bit at times this season, being the sole kind of creative force at times.
And next season, they'll have Champions League, so this year they were able to rest, particularly in the league phase, for played a lot of younger players.
So,
maybe Chelsea need more players.
I'm not necessarily saying that, but
the mix just needs to be slightly different.
I'm sure they know that.
It's interesting, you say, you know, I'm sure so many people are listening going, but they spent a billion pounds.
How can they have no real number nine and just one creative outlet?
I think it's an interesting part.
Which of those assists did you like better, Barry?
Because obviously the second one, that turn is, you don't really see that that often.
But there's something about the way he
plays the ball for the cross.
And obviously, all these footballers are really good at kicking the ball.
It sounds like a stupid thing to say.
But the way he kicks it is slightly different, I think.
Do you mean for the second one or the first one?
For the first one.
No, no, lie.
I think the second one is obviously maybe better, but I just love the way he dinks that.
Oh, I think the first one was my favourite.
Sort of just to see the pass, pick out the run from Enzo, which, I mean, he has done before many times,
in my head, anyway.
Lovely curled, precision cross, sort of through the eye of a needle.
And that was certainly my favourite.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just the pace on it as well to sort of, I don't know, some beauty in it.
Luke Provider says Reese James' story over the past few years has been similar to the state of the club.
Disappointment.
His first healthy season happens to be a healthy season for the club that ends up with the trophy lift up the blues,
they say.
And actually his bringing him on made a big difference last I thought.
Yeah, I mean,
I was trying to decipher this in the second half.
Is this Chelsea turning it up or Bettis just kind of struggling to keep up the sort of intensity they had in the first half?
I'm not quite sure, but he certainly made a made a positive impact.
And as a player you kind of hope will stay fit for a couple of years now, so we can see what his full potential is, because he looked so exciting a few years back before these injuries started happening.
And again, yeah, it's a...
With everything we've mentioned, it's maybe not natural to find points of real excitement and sympathy for Chelsea unless you're a Chelsea fan.
But you are happy for someone like him having that moment in the same way I'm happy for a lot of these players who have been regularly lambasted throughout the last couple of years.
So Chelsea are the first team to win all four UEFA trophies.
It's actually quite an unlikely achievement, Mark, because to be good enough to win the European Cup or the Champions League makes it quite rare that you would qualify for the Conference League.
It's a quirk that I just, I can't see that many teams doing it.
No,
I mean the Chelsea fans sing that they've won it all, but yeah, you kind of think, well, Bayer Munich
wouldn't be delighted if they end up winning the Conference League.
I think the Conference League can end up like the Cup Winners' Cup.
There were times when the Cup Winners' Cup was quite strong and you'd have a few teams in it and there would be other times when there was clearly one or two teams that were
way better
than the rest.
And Chelsea won't want to be in the Conference League again for some time.
They'll want to be in the Champions League.
I'd be more positive about them than a lot of other teams next season.
We did have this feeling this time last year that Pochettino was beginning to get it right, and then they changed to Mareska.
I think he's made a few mistakes, and he's still quite a young coach himself.
But I do see this Chelsea team being able, if they can cope with the demands of Champions League Premier League, you know, not being in the conference league for a while and really getting their act together and challenging for a Premier League title, because they did for, you know, half of this season that they were there and then it fell away.
And I don't think it would take that much to kind of put that together for a longer period.
Completely agree.
And I think that midfield, again, price tags are what they are.
But I think I said we've really started seeing this season that he is the player we all thought he was after Brighton.
And I think Enzo Fernandez is kind of starting to find his place in the team.
And then you have...
La Via can come in in certain games.
I think that's a potential like Premier League winning midfield.
I think that's just brilliant.
And Cole Palmer is Cole Palmer.
And they do, it's weird that he's been like the only creative outlet because they do have some other attacking players who can do stuff.
And if they just had like a reliable goal scorer at the top of that and possibly a slightly better goalkeeper, I think this team is suddenly not far away from being something that can challenge for a Premier League title.
So I think the future is bright.
I'm less convinced that the Conference League will occasionally be very strong.
I think the Conference, it is like, it's a lovely tournament right until you bump into like one of the two really big teams that are going to be in there.
That's now a 50% win ratio for the Premier League
with West Ham and Chelsea.
The
The other English teams who have been in the Conference League were Chell over, Leicester, who went into Roma in the Semi, went out to Roma in the Semi in 2022, and Villa, who went down to Olympiaco somehow last season.
But an English team have never not gotten to the semi-final of this tournament.
And English teams have now won half.
Apart from Spurs,
were they in it?
I know, they don't think they were in it.
Spurs got kicked out.
Yeah, they got kicked out.
Yeah, they were in it and got kicked out.
Spurs, of course, having A, been kicked out of the Conference League, and lost in the Europa League to a team whose manager was in prison.
So, I mean, Spurs are a pretty unique case when it comes to these European adventures.
What did Tottenham get kicked out for?
They wouldn't play a game due to COVID.
They said they had too much,
that the squad was ravaged by COVID and refused to play a game, which was then forfeited, and they were therefore knocked out.
I mean, I remember having COVID, and I really would not have fancied playing a game of football at all.
I think you're probably right.
Chelsea tweeted this.
The four seasons, spring, summer, autumn, winter, the four elements, earth water fire air the four food groups fruit and vegetables dairy carbohydrates protein the four goals Enzo Jackson Sancho Caicedo
is there something I'm not getting here like is there something that I
am I you know you know when you think okay there's a there's a gag here there's something clever here but I just don't quite get it I think anyone who's been to like a city break to Poland knows that those evenings can very quickly get out of hand.
And I assume there's something like that that's gone on with the admin there.
i mean i'm not entirely sure what's happening there's a popular netflix show at the moment four seasons um i don't know if they've tried to do something along those lines i would say in terms of food groups there are definitely some that are better than others um
the mark langdon one is yeah there are four seasons the four elements the one food group and the four goals um
a word on a word on bettis um as barry said like they they started this game really well and you could see mark Mark, how much it meant to them afterwards.
Yeah, you know, the first European final, they've had to watch their city rival, Sevilla, just become kings of Europe for a while in terms of just dominating the Europa League.
It's a city that is split, feels almost down the middle.
If you ever go to Seville, you just see the flags of both clubs just hanging out of virtually every window.
So it was a very proud moment for them.
In the first half, Isko was the best player on the pitch by an absolute mile.
Chelsea, even Caicedo, just couldn't get near him,
really rolled back the years, but they just ran out of energy and had to make some substitutions that probably didn't help them as well.
Lost their left side.
Rodriguez went off a half-time, another substitution early in the second half and just didn't really have the depth to cope.
But I think they've had a good season.
Pellegrini
remains a good manager and still knocking on.
Would be be one of the older managers, I would have thought, now coaching in Europe's top leagues.
Anthony didn't really perform.
There'd been a lot of hype around his renaissance at Bettis.
I thought Cucorrea, who usually goes forward a lot, sort of respected Anthony and marked him and played him very well.
And once Isko kind of stopped dictating play, then Bettis just ran out of steam and ideas.
And Barry, Jaden Sancho, another player who's left Manchester United to just
score a goal and win a medal.
Yeah,
it was a very good goal.
He scored and he helped turn the game along with Rhys James.
Levi Colwell as well, I thought, was good when he came on.
I don't know if Jaden Sancho, I don't think you could say he's had a good season.
He's been very up and down,
more down than up, I would argue, but that was a nice finish to his season and a nice finish for the goal.
That put the game well and truly beyond bettis.
So, yeah, fair adieu to Mike.
I don't, I suspect United won't want him back.
I suspect he hasn't done enough to to convince Chelsea he's worth buying.
So it'll be interesting to see what happens next.
He is infuriating, Sancho, because he does, even in seasons when he's struggling, he will show you like a couple of flashes of what he can do.
But he's just never been consistent enough in after moving to English football from Dortmund, where he actually was sensational.
And
correct me if I'm wrong,
Mark, but I think the deal they have is that there is an obligation to buy there.
I mean, they have to buy him, but they can pay their way out of it.
So Chelsea might have to pay Manchester United some money to not have to buy Jason Sancho.
They have to pay United 5 million to not buy Jaden Sancho.
Several million pounds for him to not go there.
This is really unfortunate, I think.
And again, I've started to feel sorry for him more than anything because I do think there's a good player there.
And I don't get the sense externally, at least, that there's a lack of effort.
But maybe he's one who needs to leave the Premier League, maybe, and he looked more comfortable in Germany.
So maybe there's a move back to Germany on the cards for him.
I don't know.
I mean, presumably they'd have to pay more to have him.
Like, that would be awkward.
There is that.
Yeah, Crims report that police arrested 28 fans in Rocklav after clashes between Chelsea and Bettis fans.
Before the game, hundreds of fans clashed in the market square on Wednesday afternoon.
On Tuesday evening, several clashes between Chelsea and Bettis fans took place near Solny Square.
Zero tolerance for violence in our streets, the Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk wrote on Twitter.
I thank the police for their decisive actions against hooligans in Chelsea and Bettis shirts.
We warn you, if necessary, the police will be even more ruthless.
I guess what's the thing that I thought about that, Barry, was it's so rare you hear about it.
I mean, it's sort of that just I felt like that used to be much more regular than
my observation was oh i haven't had to say that for a while but maybe i'm just inventing yeah i i was a bit surprised and a friend of mine who lived in seville for some years was very surprised that betis fans were getting involved in that kind of shenanigans it's it's behavior i'd associate more with the england international football team these days than clubs
So you're probably right in that regard.
I actually texted Lucy Ward to ask if she was there yesterday afternoon and she said yeah bubbling under full-on fight mode.
Now I didn't know if she was referring to herself or the atmosphere on the streets.
Maybe two in my conversation.
But
yeah, it just seemed pretty tense and unpleasant, but you know, I don't know who the main instigator were.
No, no, no, no, neither I.
All right, that'll do for part one.
Part two, we will look ahead to the Champions League final.
HiPod fans of America, Max here.
Barry's here too.
Hello.
Football Weekly is supported by the Remarkable Paper Pro.
Now, if you're a regular listener to this show, you'll have heard us talk before about the Remarkable Paper Pro.
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But there's something new and exciting.
The remarkable paper pro move.
Remarkable, a brand name and an adjective, man.
Yeah, it's their most portable paper tablet yet.
It holds all your notes, notes, to-dos, and documents, but it's smaller than a paperback and an incredible 0.26 inches thin, so it slips easily into a bag or jacket pocket.
Perfect for working professionals whose jobs take them out of the office, like maybe a football journalist, Barry.
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A proper football journalist, mate.
Exactly.
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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly then.
So PSG inter
on Saturday night, the first Champions League meeting between these clubs ever.
Only the second final between teams from France and Italy after 92-93 when Marseille beat AC Milan 1-0.
Basil Bolly.
That game also played in Munich at the Olympic Stadion.
So PSG finished 15th in the big league table.
Then they beat Brest 10-0 on aggregate in the playoffs.
Liverpool on penalties.
Aston Villa 5-4 in aggregate.
Arsenal 3-1 on aggregate.
It's their second European Cup final.
Inter, it's their seventh European Cup final.
Came fourth in the table, lost only once.
Then they beat Feyernord, Bayern Munich, and Barcelona.
Who will win, Lars?
So I was about to just say PSG, because I think they're a better team.
But here's the thing.
I've kind of backed, I mean, I feel like I haven't backed Inter for any rounds of the Champions this season, yet they keep winning.
So it seems like that would be making the same mistake all over again.
I do think PSG are a better football team, but I think Inter have this ability to
get out of these ties and to perform slightly better than you expect.
There's a lot of know-how in the team.
There's a lot of canny players that they're well coached.
And they've, uh I mean again yeah against against
against both Bayern and against Barcelona I would have I would have not have backed them and here we are so I think PSG favorites but maybe not by as much as one might think and be beware of the canny Italians I was just thinking do you know sometimes you say look if what we need is this team to score early and I was thinking well if in to score early Barry then they will retreat you know and it will be less of a PSG score early there's a worry they'll run away with it so maybe no team should score early that's what we need in this game yeah I've thought PSG would win this tournament since the knockout stages began.
I don't see any reason to revise my opinion, but I think if one team can beat them, it's probably intra.
Intra, remarkably, have only been behind
for 16 minutes of this entire campaign.
So, however many matches that is.
Lars was saying, you know, they're canny, they're well coached, they're this, they're that, they're
gnarly they're basically they're italian
psg obviously a very uh well fairly young team uh they have a few markinos is still knocking about isn't he
they're really pleasant to watch
i i want psg to win but i think it'll be terrible if a Qatari-owned team does win.
Does that mean I've been sports washed?
Probably.
I think it means you're confused, doesn't it?
I mean, yeah, well, I i may live in a state of permanent confusion
uh nassr al-khalifi obviously is their president he's a very powerful and influential figure in european football and and if psg win that will only reinforce his position as a very powerful and influential figure in the european club association and i don't necessarily think that will be a good thing either but just in terms of the football uh i think I'd I'd like to see PSG win I think it'll be tight you look at the two lineups and you just immediately just based on the names there you think PSG you'd you'd you'd rather have those guys but I keep thinking when you think about inter
the equalizer against Barcelona when they'd had this extraordinary tie back and forth and and managed to go toe-to-toe against the Barcelona team they probably had more technically dainty talented players but inter kept finding a way and then they concede that goal to Rafinha which must have felt like such a hammer blow to them but somehow they just kind of rouse themselves and they get an equalizer through like a 37-year-old center half who somehow gets all the way up the pitch.
Like, there is this bizarre resilience, and like, they just won't stop.
And I just, I'm a little bit wary of that, because as much as PSG have gotten better, they're not the sort of outrageous bottlers they were, and it's a more balanced team, and they have so much speed and all the stuff we've been talking about all season.
There's that bit of inter that just kind of seems to not lie down.
And they have something there that I don't don't think
this young PSG team maybe has just quite yet.
I think the word there, though, that Lars used balance.
Um, I think Paris have got a balance that maybe Bayern Munich and Barcelona didn't have.
And both of those teams went into the game with a lot of injuries.
Bayern at centre-back, Barcelona at fullback, that certainly didn't help their calls in terms of trying to keep the back door shut.
And, you know, inter were
very strong at set pieces, and then on the counter-attack with Lautaro and Marcus Turam.
PSG, I think, are more canny than Barcelona and Bayern Munich.
They don't defend like right on the halfway line and allow you that space.
You know, if you look at how they contain Liverpool, for instance, for large parts of those two matches and Arsenal, particularly at the Emirates.
So I think that I've always felt that Barca and Bayer were slightly flawed, albeit that they were fantastic to watch.
And I just feel that PSG had just got that right uh mix of having the flair going forward but not to the point where they're going to um just do something really silly and that's not something we've said about psg too often but with my kinios there um you know they they they are a more steady team and they are capable of playing in more than one way you saw that anfield it's said you know they were under pressure at anfield and they they dug it out and I'm not sure that Bayern or Barcelona could do that, for instance.
They would just keep going forward.
So
I think it's one all so far, isn't it?
Barry fancies PSG.
Lars was edging towards Inter.
I would be in the PSG camp.
I'm wrestling with myself because I'm like, rationally, PSG should be favorites.
It's just I'm wary that Inter have done irrational things before.
But also, you say there, Lango, that like the counter-attack, which is true, they're dangerous on the counter, Inter.
But you feel like PSG do have the pace to nullify that.
There's so much pace in this team.
Like, I can't remember the last team that just had so much speed across the board.
It seems like almost every player in this team is just an absolute sprinter.
And I think that makes them less vulnerable for those counters, even though their fullbacks are a little bit on the adventurous side.
It's definitely one of those things where logic says PSG, but the sort of slight tingling in the gut says that something weird might happen.
If I was into, I'd be worried about that midfield.
Oh, yeah.
You know, that PSG midfield is so good and it's so quick.
And we've seen that in those games against, you know, Arsenal against Villa.
And I know the inter-midfield isn't like they're not all, it's not the expendables, but it's sort of feel you know you're saying Mikutarion is not, you know, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, maybe you can't write off into ever because they're continually underestimated.
But I would be worried with that.
I could you could see the PSG midfield just completely dominate.
You can.
So they pay, what is it, three, five, two.
Dumfries and DeMarco are constant threats out wide for inter, but Neves, Vettina, and Fabian Ruiz have been sensational for PSG in the second half of the season.
Just unbelievably good.
And
I think they will dominate.
And midfield is generally where football matches are won and lost, isn't it?
So
I do think PSG
there.
I don't think there's any doubt they're the better team.
That doesn't necessarily mean they will win.
Yeah.
How do you stop that midfield, Matt?
I think you have to sit deep, and I think Inter will allow PSG the ball and not necessarily go out of shape because if you're in your shape then you know it needs something special from somebody to to break that down because while they will attack with those wing backs when they've not got the ball it will be five at the back it will be shalonolu mikateri and barela in front of those and even churam and lautaro kind of pressing from the front and doing a lot of defensive work so um i don't think sort of man for man you can go up against them because it's kind of tenacity and talent together, really, because it doesn't appear to be a weakness in there.
I think the one area that you'd maybe say from PSG is that the front three and Kavret Skelly and then Belle, two obvious ones, and then Barcolo Ardou, kind of who is the third one, remains open for debate.
They've missed a lot of chances.
They've scored a lot of goals, but they haven't been quite as ruthless as what
they maybe could be.
And there are advantages to not playing with a central striker, but then there are maybe some disadvantages there as well and I think inter will
allow PSG to have like 65 70% possession and you know if you look at the Barcelona midfield I mean that's great and you know Intel managed to get through didn't they against them so I don't think it necessarily matters individually who's better it's a has to be about the collective as well and I think if we are looking for flaws in PSG which I I think we all agree are the better team on paper, I think, and it's ludicrous given how many scores the they scored this season.
I think they are capable of having a game where they just can't find the net.
Because that period early in the year, when we all went, wow, these are actually the best team in Europe, that was in the middle of Usman Dembele's sort of mad burst of goals.
The goals have dried up a little bit for him.
I think he scored against Arsenal, but I do believe that was his only goal in the last eight appearances or something.
So Dembele isn't scoring a lot of goals right now.
Obviously, you can get goals from Claras Gelia, you can get goals from Desiree Dua or Barcola, whichever one of them starts.
But
you can envisage a game in which interests sit deep.
They block the passing lanes and cover the right spaces, and PSG finds that first goal hard to get by.
And if they can keep it like that for a while, suddenly opportunities might open up for themselves.
All right, that'll do for part two, part three.
We'll begin with Laminia Miles New Deal and do some transfer stuff as well.
Hi, Pod fans of America.
Max here.
Barry's here, too.
Hello.
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Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.
In that little break, Barry said, I should have thrown to it by saying in part three, we laugh at Manchester United again.
And we will shortly.
Before that, Mark, you wanted to talk about Lamell Yamal's six-year mega contract, 17 years old, £325,000 a week.
I mean, he probably deserves it, given how great he is.
How did Barcelona afford this?
Or is that just when, like, will they just implode in like 2041 or something?
You know, they just disintegrate.
I think it's sort of maniana.
They'll pay for it tomorrow and hope that tomorrow never comes.
325 grand a week,
relatively, I think that that's not the worst deal that Barcelona have done by any stretch.
I mean, only in Vertic Commons makes him the third highest player, paid player at Barcelona, behind Lewandowski and De Jong.
And they've tied down
probable Ballon d'Or winner, certainly possible Ballon d'Or.
De Jong's done well, hasn't he?
He's signed a contract at the right time.
He's good, but yeah,
he might not be to the levels that he's getting paid more than Lamin Yamau and Pedri.
But I think from Barcelona's point of view, like they had to do it.
He's somebody that you're going to build the team around, they will hope for the next decade.
As Sid Lowe said on one of the pods a few weeks ago,
discussing
when will he become the best player in the world?
And he just suddenly realized that maybe he is the best player in the world already and so um yeah not the worst deal that barcelona have done but max just how much was you earning at 17 what job was you doing then i was on uh five pounds an hour as i would say the world's worst cleaner
i mean i absolutely did not did i did not give it my all there was a time where i'd clean caroline bozenkett's house on a monday and i'd watch I'd clean the kitchen a lot because there was a TV there.
I'd watch Neighbours Home and Away and then the Cambridge United Goals and Anglian News.
And then I'd race around the house for 25 minutes, just trying to make it look relatively clean
until her nephew Campbell showed me what real elbow grease was and showed me how to clean the bath.
I was like, this isn't for me.
So I think I broke my arm and it was very convenient for all parties.
How about you, Mark?
I was working at the Racing Post at 17, so I've done the same
club man.
I was club man.
Yeah, institutionalized.
I was
making tea and delivering post it was about as exciting as it got but yeah yeah I was not doing literally the same job but working for the same company
at 17 I don't I believe I didn't wasn't working but at 18 when I got my driver's license I was making and delivering pizzas as it were and I was one of the very few people who didn't crash or nick the pizza car in any capacity because the entire work staff was like 18 year olds who'd only just got the driver's license.
So, I mean, the amount of like little things in that pizza car was that looked ridiculous.
Like, you would everyone bumping into something constantly.
And that was my claim to glory: I hadn't nicked the pizza car in any way.
Well done, Baz.
I would have been a dog's body
in a veterinary practice.
So, I got six pounds an hour and board and lodgings.
So, that was
actually all right at the time.
Yeah.
Magistrate have met Matthias Kunya's £62.5 million release clause.
Good idea, Barry?
Yeah, probably.
I mean, he can be a liability.
He's a hothead.
He's a red card waiting to happen.
And he let Wolves down a couple of times this season badly.
But
Manchester United
really need to get some good players in.
And if he fits Reuben Amerim's famous system, then, yeah, it has to be a good move.
I mean, that's the if, I guess, Lars, isn't it?
Does he he fits in one of the tens, doesn't he?
In theory,
I'm very Kunya positive.
I think he's been tremendous for Wolves.
He's a good player to watch.
But I keep going back to those quotes that Will Unwin got from the former Wolves assistant manager, Ian Birchnell, about how Kunya is not one for the tactical analysis.
He's more like one who plays on instinct, and you just kind of have to let him do his thing and get him into areas where he likes to be.
I'm just not convinced.
If you're trying to execute this tactical system that the players are struggling with, do you want another guy guy that's just fully chaotic?
I know there are United fans who get frustrated with Bruno already because he's such an individualist and kind of just roams around and does what he wants to do.
You're just adding more of that.
I'm not sure I love that for Man United, but he's definitely someone who can make an impact.
I just kind of felt he was in the perfect place.
Like be the wild card for a sort of steady mid-table team that gives you a platform to just roam around and do whatever the hell you want.
That seemed like a good place for him to be, to be honest.
I'm very intrigued with how this will go.
Yeah, but I suppose, Mark, he wants to further his career.
The question, are you slightly surprised that he's chosen Manchester United?
How many other choices did he have?
And that, you know, was
the fact that none of the good recruiters have gone after Kunya maybe
suggests to what Lars was saying there that he's a difficult person to fit into a team.
And United are in a more desperate state,
maybe shopping at a slightly different level at the moment, have found found that Kunya is worth the gamble because they're not going to get that elite player, Florian Verts, for example, that looks like he's going to Liverpool.
I think his attitude and some behavior was
really poor at Wolves at times.
And
that is a risk when you bring somebody like Kunya into a dressing room that's not perfect as it is.
But he has also that
ability.
Cantonas are pushing it a bit, but kind of, I think United will be hoping he can be
something like that and a catalyst for bigger and better times.
I think it's probably worth the risk for Manchester United and for Kunya.
I mean, I think that United is still a step up on walls, but it's not without, it's definitely not a sure thing, this one.
Yeah, I mean, you're right, he can just...
score absolutely ridiculous goals out of nothing, but he also can steal the glasses of a man who who is near him on a football pitch.
Well,
having announced my skepticism, I will say that one thing I like about this is that we've seen this trend of the United shirt and all the attention and all the stuff weighing a little bit heavily on certain players.
I suspect he's a player who doesn't care about that or won't be affected by it.
I think he'll go on the pitch and try to do crazy stuff.
And good luck to him.
On the subject of Mages United, their tour of Malaysia and Hong Kong.
I mean, it is just, you know, I know they're paid a lot.
I know contractually they have to do it.
I know we shouldn't feel sympathy for, getting first-class travel to go and play football.
A lot of people would love to do that, but if you feel sorry, that's straight after the season finishes.
The on-pitch apology.
And now they go off to Malaysia and they lose 1-0 to the
ASEAN All-Stars.
It's sort of Asian, but spelt A-S-E-A-N, which is a sort of collective of top players across Asian leagues, including Australia.
They were booed off, which is amazing, isn't it?
They get booed off.
Who's booing them?
And is this a real quote, Lars, from Ruben Amarim, that you put in the WhatsApp group?
I can only go by, it's John Bruin's piece in The Guardian from the game.
So I'm assuming John's
looked into this.
But apparently, Amarim said after the game.
We don't have it in us not to choke in every exercise, in every game.
That is what happened.
Which is a wild thing to say for the coach after a postseason friendly when everyone's kind of jet-lagged and disinterested.
Also, it's the fact that he said in every exercise, that kind of raises the specter of United being terrible in training as well.
Like, are they trying to pull off these advanced exercises and they keep falling over and missing them?
It's really bad, isn't it?
But they are apparently getting like 8 million for this trip, which I guess is money they need.
Before this game,
they had an open-top bus parade through the streets of Kuala Lumpa, and it genuinely looked like they were tourists on doing a sightseeing tour but i think i only counted four united players on the bus it was uh matthias de lick joshua zerxy aiden heaven
and a another whose name i can't remember so they obviously drew the very shortest of short strolls
in you know you are contractually obliged to have four first team players on this bus you know who's it gonna be uh it they they I will say they at least had the good grace to look kind of embarrassed, but they were sheepishly waving at anyone who turned up to cheer them off.
Who is that for?
The open-top business.
Just the public.
The team that finished 15th in the Premier League during an open-top bus parade in Kuala Lumpur.
Like, what is happening?
This is absolutely bizarre.
Those players that were on the bus did at least seem happy to be there, unlike Gonacho, who was signing shirts wishing he was anywhere else judging by the face and kind yeah so it hasn't I don't think it's been the kind of
sort of goodwill tour maybe that Manchester United were hoping for but on a slightly more serious note like United have been this global superpower for it just feels like forever certainly in sort of
my adult lifetime you do wonder whether
because of results of the last decade, they're now just not as popular in sort of you know, Asia where they were.
I don't know, it felt like they were the number one team and could have drawn a crowd anywhere they went.
And it's not quite like that now.
And that does lead to more sort of serious questions, I think, just about how they make their money.
And, you know, at some stage, that lack of success on the pitch
would
surely pay.
It hasn't done so far, but it feels like we are getting to that tipping point.
Nice to see comedian, friend of ours, Barry, and a top attendance guesser, Justin Morehouse playing in the 10, one of those narrow tens for Manchester United yesterday, wearing number 64.
Producer Joel trying to tell me it's Jack, but I won't have a bar of it.
Rail Associate Abin Fielder, Martin Zubin Mendi sets to have a medical before signing for Arsenal for £51 million.
I think Mark, we all think he's good and he sits next to Rice.
presumably just behind Rice and Erdoga, and that's a very good signing.
Yeah, I know it might not be the signing that Arsenal fans want in the area that they, you know, it's pretty obvious and desperate for a striker, but needed somebody in that midfield position because Declan Rice, it turns out, is not actually suited to play in that role and is much more influential when he's given more license to push forward.
So,
Super Mendy will ensure that kind of there is that added protection, but he can also play.
I think Real Madrid are frustrated.
Certainly, Xavi Alonso frustrated that he hasn't gone to Real Madrid.
And Liverpool were after him 12 months ago.
And Liverpool tend to know what they're doing in the transfer market.
So if you're following their ideas, you're probably on the right path.
Barry, if you were a centre-forward, obviously Arsenal need one, Chelsea need one.
You know, if you were, imagine you're Benjamin Sesco or Victor Jokarez.
Where are you going?
What are my options?
Arsenal, Chelsea,
they are the teams that are in the Premier League who are crying out for a number nine.
Okay, Manchester United as well, if you want.
Well, if those are my options, I think I'd probably go to Arsenal.
It would be the least worst option,
in my opinion.
But
I have zero faith in Michel Arteta's ability to get Arsenal to a Premier League title.
He may well make a fool of me next season.
I doubt it.
But yeah, I think if those are my options, I'd go to Arsenal.
Lars,
do you think it will be simple as one gets one, one gets another?
They're just constantly mentioned.
I don't see Isaac leaving Newcastle, but I may be wrong.
And there may be others around, right?
They can't just be three number nines.
Yeah, it's hard to get Isaac out of
Newcastle, of course, because Newcastle must know how crucial he is to anything.
I just, I don't.
The Ocara's thing.
Sporting are asking for a lot of money, and rightly so, based on his scoring record there.
But that means you are signing a striker who's 26 turning 27 uh in in a couple of days in a couple of days actually
for a huge huge fee who hasn't really done well hasn't really hasn't done it at all in the premier league before that is a big risk i would argue because even if you sign sesco at a big fee and he doesn't quite adjust to the premier league you can still move him on for a pretty good fee to somewhere after that i reckon but if you really go all out on yukarez
and he has one or two seasons in the premier league and it doesn't work then you're sitting there like a 29-year-old who you've paid a ton of money for and who's not.
I mean, you can end up in a bad position there, I would say, having not watched Yokos every week.
So I'm not really in a position to judge.
I just think structurally, that's a deal that would concern me a little bit, given the money that sporting are looking for.
He's 26 until he's 27.
Spurs, Mark, now the dust has settled on the Europa League triumph.
You said you were a little dusty when you did that voice note for him.
Back to reality now?
Because you were very much like, doesn't really matter.
And just got to go like what happens and if they are going to fire him they've got to get on with it surely yeah i mean the fact that i'm sort of debating whether i feel like he should stay or go probably
suggest i think he should but i don't want to actually say it um now my head is um in the you know
for about a season and a half the premier league form has been shocking and The best way to be successful is to be a consistent team that is, you know, just heading in the right direction, actually.
As Angel Postacoglu said himself when he first arrived, that the desperation for trophies shouldn't be at the forefront of
your mind and you just need to organically get better.
And it hasn't happened like that.
My sort of heart feels like let's just stay on the Vibes roller coaster for one more year and
just see what happens.
There were injuries.
He's a good bloke.
The fans are kind of behind him.
Again, you'll be just bursting that bubble if you sack him and like replace him.
I mean, there's definitely people at Spurs
hierarchy that like Thomas Frank, for example.
I quite like Thomas Frank, but is he worth the risk of kind of just
the energy that's running through the club at the moment?
I would say that it's not worth that.
But in the words of sort of Steve Mannerman, you know, we should have a look.
Of course, we should have a look and just see what else is out there.
And I look at somebody like Simone Nzagi, zagi for instance who's in a contract dispute at the moment with inter
he's on four million euros a year net i think he wants almost double that um to remain there's talk of saudi arabia and i think al hilal offering him 60 million um euros which daniel levy might struggle to get to but if he for instance has had enough of inter and fancies um you know a crack at the premier league i think if a coach of that level became available then i think it's i i would say it's an easy decision decision or an easier decision and you just replace poster koglu if it's just for kind of a steady enough premier league manager then like let's just stick with it for another at least until the october international break yeah mark were you surprised at just how much joy there was and just how sort of endless it felt or not really No, no, I was surprised and I was taken aback by my own emotions really for it because, you know, even now I can look at it and go, oh,
who did we actually beat?
um and you know you can pick holes in various bits of it and then I just sort of see Son lifting the trophy again and just you know feels like I want to cry at sort of he's
just how nice it is for him that it was a it was a really big moment I think definitely
for like about a decade it's just been like constant mocking of being a Spurs fan a Spurs player and that you Brendan Johnson and Madison and others, Mickey Van Der Ven, all reference kind of social media and oh, you know, you've retired from winning trophies and you know, just it just wore Finn.
You know, the first couple of years were okay.
Sort of 15 years later, you know, you kind of had enough of it.
So
at least for a few years now, we've kind of got that monkey off our back.
And it was just, you know, it was a great stadium, a terrible match, obviously, but it was a great stadium, a great city.
Enjoyed it with, you know, great people.
And, you know, that really is what football's about, isn't it?
Really?
That community and really enjoyed it.
Yeah, keep the vibes trained going.
You're right, Mark.
Here you are.
I'm dragging you back on the Titanic.
Come on.
He's the best thing that's ever happened to us.
Cristiano Ronaldo looks set to leave Al Nasser at the end of his contract.
He posted a cryptic message on his social media.
What?
It wasn't that cryptic.
No, I'm just
blame producer Joel.
I'm just reading the rubbish that he puts down on this.
The message says, this chapter is over.
The story still being written grateful to all yes i mean not cryptic not cryptic you're right
but yes uh he did also say it sounds like it was written by a teenage boy which is quite accurate um look lots of speculation he'll be playing at the club world cup gianni infantino was sitting next to a youtuber did anyone see this like you know like i think other you know proper journalists have said I've been trying to get an interview.
He won't do any sit-down interviews with anyone.
And then he was in a gaming chair with a YouTuber called iShow Speed.
Oh, yeah, who is in his bedroom.
I mean, he's quite a popular chap, this iShow Speeds person, I think.
But I'm not an expert on his work.
And I
presume he's not an expert on mine.
He would have got a tougher time off Philippe.
I would like Philippe to be sitting in a gaming chair, you know, playing Halo with Jenny and Frantino.
That is a fever dream, if ever there was one.
Lots of speculation he'll go to someone with the Club World Cup.
I mean, if he does sign a one-month contract to play for them, it sort of feels a bit IPL, a bit, you know, sort of franchise-y.
Not what doesn't feel very football, but I suppose cricket didn't feel very, that's not very cricket a while ago, is it?
And things change.
It's, I feel like that would be entirely in keeping with the spirit of the Club World Cup.
It's, it's, it's absolute nonsense, uh, so why not?
The IPL is brilliant.
I mean,
no, no, you're right.
I mean, it's the absolute, it's sort of one of the pinnacles.
I agree with you.
But you get my feeling about sort of franchisee.
I know, I totally get what you're saying, yeah.
And
this is where we are, I suppose.
I think in years to come, we're all very sniffy about the Club World Cup.
And I think in years to come, it will be a big, major competition that everyone's invested in.
Again, I could be completely wrong, like how it might be about Arteta, but I think
maybe we're underestimating how popular this is going to be.
I think what will happen with Cristiano is that he'll end up signing a short-term deal with Al-Hilal, who are in the tournament.
Keep it Saudi.
Now, of course, Al-Hilal are the bitter rivals of the team he is leaving, but you know, I don't think that really matters.
That's an interesting point you make, Barry.
And maybe you're right.
The fact that there's a billion pounds for the winner means you have to take it.
See, if you're a football club, it's not a billion for the winner.
Sorry, it's a billion in total prize money, but 100 million for the winner.
Then you have to take it seriously, don't you?
If you're a big football club.
I do think the qualifying criteria is odd.
And if you look at the teams that are there,
you kind of very generously put, I would say, Mark.
Even down to the European ones,
I've looked and read on the FIFA website how they've got there.
And
yeah,
I think for Barry's prediction to come true, it will have to become something that they don't want it to.
And that would be more European teams.
And
it feels odd for instance you know to not have barcelona um there um you know that's just one example and premier league champions liverpool and not there um so i think i think that will need working on but i i do agree with barry in the sense that um it it's definitely got the potential to grow um and for all that people are talking it down at the moment if real madrid are playing man city in a quarterfinal in the middle of june like who's not going to watch that the thing i'm intrigued by is the presence in this tournament of Auckland City FC not to be confused with Auckland FC who play in the Australian A-League which of course is a tremendous tournament as we all know Max but it is Auckland City FC yes and actually I um I actually sent a tweet going this is mad because Auckland FC yeah are who have come top of the a league uh ladder but they've lost the semi-final.
The grand final is Melbourne victory, Melbourne City on Saturday.
But they qualified, I thought it was them who'd qualified for the Club World Cup and they hadn't even existed until this season.
And I've sent a tweet going, this is ridiculous.
And then a few polite people said, it's a different Auckland match.
Okay, I'm not an expert in this area.
But yeah, tell us about them.
Well, the reason this is the case, of course, is that Australia are now part of the Asian Confederation, so it's not going to be a team from the A-League.
So they need a team from Oceania, which I guess is where Auckland City FC come in.
And I'm trying really hard to find, like,
to all intents and purposes, I reckon this is semi-pros.
Yeah, these are semi-pros, right?
One of their players
recently played for Sligo Rovers in the Irish
in the League of Ireland.
So, you know,
I think having them in this tournament with this much prize money is
interesting.
I mean, that's certainly a thing that we did not expect happening.
They're going to be playing.
It's a great holiday for them.
That's a great lads trip for them.
They're going to be playing Bayern Munich, Benfica, and Boca Jr.
I mean,
I think this could be tremendous.
It's absolutely amazing.
Who will you be, as a man who supports many teams, Max, who's your favourite Melbourne?
Who will you be rooting for at the weekend?
I suggested Victory.
I think Victory have got the most, on their day, they're the most exciting team.
But they beat Auckland with the best team in the league by a long, long way.
And
so it was a big surprise that Victory went to their place and overturned a deficit to
get through to the final.
But yeah, that is on Saturday.
But yeah, I think I'd prefer Melbourne Victory over Melbourne City.
But I'm at this stage, an impartial expert on proceedings,
despite huge holes in my A-league knowledge.
But it is weird that Auckland come top of the league, but because they're not in Australia, they can't go into the Asian Champions League, even though they've won the league that is in Australia.
So then whoever comes second goes into the Asian Champions League.
How are you on poetry, Barry?
I mean, we know you like theatre, but how's it feeling about poetry?
It's kind of like basketball.
I'm aware of it.
I don't really take any interest in it.
I've nothing against it.
Okay.
Some people like poetry.
It doesn't really come into my orbit much.
Well, get ready for your orbit to be poetryatized.
As Ewan says, I'm Max Barry and the team.
I love the pod.
I want to let you know I've just had a poem that talks about Football Weekly published, and I thought you might like to read it.
It's called Things Are So Bad, but I promise it is a loving tribute.
Yeah,
it's found on stringsmag.com.
Launched in late 2023, an online literary magazine based in London, providing a space for new writing from emerging and established writers, interested in language that stands beyond defined boundaries and plays with form, structure, and language.
Here is the poem.
Things are so bad.
Guardian Football Weekly is our most supportive friend.
They talk to us during our vasectomies and afterwards read a message out on the show.
We barely talk to our real friends.
We absolutely need a pet, like right now, before we can look after ourselves.
Responsibility is good for us, maybe.
There are apps where people can borrow pets and love.
The future will definitely be like a film, not an apocalyptic one necessarily.
That may just be glimpsed from a window if we're lucky enough to be in the dome.
Oh, in the dome, I bet.
Things are so good.
Doggerool.
Absolutely.
Doggerille.
I don't know if it's good or not.
I enjoyed it.
I know
Mikini, son of Seamus, he was quite good at, you know.
A big Everton fan is Mick.
But yeah,
well done and getting published.
I imagine getting
poetry published is quite difficult.
And yeah, so hats off.
And it's a level up, a non-rhyming poem.
It's a level up of poetry.
Yeah.
And we're talking real, you know, we're talking the top stuff here.
Any strong poetry thoughts, Mark?
William Blake, I think GCSE level might have been the last one I read.
Can't remember which one it was.
No.
I need it explained to me.
If you need something explained to you, then
yeah, I'll just move on quickly.
Fair enough.
All right.
Well, that'll do for today.
Thanks, everybody.
We encourage your poetry.
We can't guarantee we'll read it.
No, but I don't know.
Yes, no, please.
Encourage the poetry.
It's going to be a long summer.
Well, actually, there's a lot of football.
But that'll do for today.
Thanks, everybody.
Thanks, Baz.
Thank you.
Thank you, Lars.
Thank you, Max.
Cheers, Mark.
Thanks, Max.
Football Weekly is produced by by Del Grove.
Our executive producer is Phil Maynard.
We'll be back on Monday after the Champions League.
This is The Guardian.