Manchester City roll over Chelsea, Brighton off to flyer – Football Weekly

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Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

The Premier League begins with perhaps the most predictable set of results possible.

Come on, best league in the world.

Give us some jeopardy.

Champion City win at Chelsea without stunning the world.

Of course credit to Enzo Mareska for managing to select a team when most of us would be paralysed by indecision.

Perhaps less credit for making Enzo captain while Raheem Sterling asked for clarity.

Look, we're all looking for clarity, mate.

A big win for Fabian Herzler's Brighton at Everton.

Is it too early for a crisis Claxon at Goodison?

Ipswich start well but can't keep up as Ana Slot gets a first Liverpool win.

Arsenal looked pretty impressive at home to Wolves.

Manchester United looked just about okay and getting a late win at home to Fulham.

Pray for Ben Brereton Diaz as Newcastle win with 10 men over Southampton.

There's John Duran's reverse ferret.

Ivan Toney looks like he's off and a point apiece for Forest and Bournemouth.

As always, we'll answer your questions.

And that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

On the panel today, Troy Townsend, welcome.

Thank you, Max.

Good to be on again.

Hello, Lars Sividson.

Hi, Max.

And hello, Robin Cowan.

Good morning, Max.

Den says, wow, Barry dropped from the starting lineup for the opening weekend.

This is the most dramatic thing that's happened this weekend in the Premier League.

And Chris says, will the lack of a Barry Glendenning for the first prem pod of the season result in a statement from his representatives?

Well, we'll get to that in just a second.

Let's start at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea 0, Manchester City 2.

Neil says, for the love of bleep, no patter about Chelsea buying more players.

Fair.

Time to stop that joke.

I understand.

What did you make of this one?

Troy was an okay game.

City didn't necessarily control it, but they always seemed in control, if that makes sense.

You almost summed it up there, Max.

It was, yeah, it was an okay okay game

dominated i thought city dominated the game in their casual style as they do at the start of the season um up the tempo when they needed to um scored two great goals i thought the harlan goal um was quite ominous considering you know he's been away for a while but you know great football down the left-hand side lovely first touch couple more controls bullied the defenders and chip the goalkeeper and i loved his or dink the goalkeeper i love his you know the conversation afterwards because he spoke about Sanchez saving one from the previous season, didn't he?

And he liked, yeah, he thought about it, thought about it, and it helped him in the way that he wanted to finish this.

But it was as comfortable.

Chelsea blew some wind at times, but not much.

Loving the new wide boy, Savinio, for City, and until he got injured.

But I thought it was a really comfortable performance.

Kovacic deserved his goal.

Outstanding performance from him against billion dollars of midfield that Chelsea have.

And yeah, it was as comfortable without being comfortable as it could have been for me.

Lars, I don't know if you know a lot about Erling Haaland, but I think

that was really interesting what he said afterwards.

And actually, that finish was just so elite.

Even though

he was bustling through, it was so perfect.

Well, it's a good example of what makes him good.

It's because he has that combination of just incredible physical presence, but also he's got pretty clever feet for a giant man.

And

I think it meant quite a lot for him that goal because he drew a blank in the community shield, because last season wasn't amazing by his standards.

You know, okay, it's the Premier League top scorer in the end because, you know, that's Erling Holland.

But he missed more chances than we're used to seeing.

And there's no one who'll be more aware of that than him.

He spoke

to the extent that he ever speaks candidly.

He spoke

in the Norwegian Post-Match interview about how he's had a really good holiday.

And obviously it was sad for him to miss out on the Euros, but it did mean he could take a couple of weeks and just switch off completely and in his words, shut his body down and then go into pre-season and build it back up again, which when you think about it is kind of what footballers should be able to do in the summer.

It's just that when you've got international tournaments,

it's really no time.

And yeah, he looks hungry and he looks he looks sharp and very, I think, low-key, important goal for him.

The image I have of Haaland shutting down is

sort of getting into that pool, like those twins on minorities were pools.

You know, like literally like going into some sort of stasis in the matrix when they go beyond and you're just in a total pod, just completely off.

Eyes.

Maybe his eyes are open, but that's it.

And I get that, but like the funny thing is, his version of switching off is, of course, he goes on holidays like

footballers do.

But he went to hang out in his hometown and for a while was like turning up at local businesses and posting about him being there on Instagram to his millions of followers, which is very confusing for some of these local businesses, but very, very nice.

I adore that about him.

Yeah, his idea, you might think he's built in a lab and it's all this other stuff, but no, no, he goes home to where he grew up.

That's what he does when he wants to switch off.

Robin Kovacich scoring is a sort of perfect symbol of the mismanagement of Chelsea, isn't it?

With, as Troy said, all these £100 million players sort of...

flailing behind him.

Yeah, and I think it was pointed out quite a lot of times that he was sold to Man City for 30 million and he kind of waltzed past Fernandes and Kaisodo

finished really well.

I think, yeah, he was rightly picked out because obviously

they don't have a great record when Roderick isn't playing.

So I think,

and I think, I feel like I agree with Troy, it was comfortable, but there was a bit of jeopardy for like at 1-0.

You know, I tuned in hoping to see the soap opera of Chelsea off the pitch or on it.

You know, I was hoping the kind of the pre-season sort of results.

But actually,

maybe they weren't quite as wedded to their playing out from the back start.

I thought Sanchez got it launched a bit more than

I suspected, usually out of play.

And actually, they did have a few chances.

Jackson, I mean, again, I feel like last season, either offside or just not quite, you know, in that finishing mode.

So, actually, I actually thought Chelsea were not as bad as I expected.

As you wanted them to be.

Exactly.

You know, I was hoping for a mess, but that came before, didn't it?

And

a bit after as well.

I mean, we promised no jokes about Chelsea needing to sign players, but they could use the striker, right?

I mean, this is the absurd thing.

I really don't, I'm sure you covered this in the preview pods, but this club mystifies me completely because they went through last season.

They weren't actually that terrible.

Like they had the fourth best XG in the league.

They had periods where they were playing okay, but they don't have a striker who can score consistently.

And so you go into the summer and you think, well, they love signing players, those guys.

They love bringing them in.

At least they will sign a big name striker, clearly, because that's what they obviously need.

And instead, they signed a bunch of new youngsters and

spend 50 million on an injury-prone winger when they already have a ton of wingers.

It's the weirdest club.

I don't get it.

And yeah, I think they could use a striker.

And also, you know, they've got eight goalkeepers.

It's one thing having eight goalkeepers, Troy.

It's another that none of them are truly that good.

I really don't get their transfer philosophy and I don't know what the vision is.

I I understand the eight nine-year contracts, but I don't understand the people that they're putting on those eight nine-year contracts.

And I'm mystified by this Chelsea football club, and they weren't as bad as

maybe many of us, me probably more than most, wanted them to be.

City weren't as great as they were.

So I think that balances it up, you know.

But yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight goalkeepers.

I don't know how many.

There was a graph going around about how many players in different positions and whatever else, but I'm not even sure if the manager is truly running that team.

And probably that's the biggest thing to come out of this.

I think that the average age was 23, which I think is some sort of record for like a putting out match day one, they were saying in the Premier League.

So in kind of, I guess you can kind of see what they're attempting.

Maybe they're playing, you know, in sort of

seven, in their seventh year of their contracts.

Maybe they will start to deliver on these players.

They're playing the long game.

Yeah, I mean, Lavia was good.

Nerdo was good when it it came up troy can i ask you about enzo fernandez being captain i knew he was gonna come to me yeah i mean i don't have to but like no do come to me yeah you have experience your experience in this field uh i i

it seemed a really odd decision the way chelsea have handled this seems kind of oh it's all fine we've all apologized goodbye everybody yeah there's been a standardized message coming out of chelsea whether it's from the owners or whether it's from the managers obviously reading from a script i think it just shows how out of touch they are i think it shows um it's a level of disrespect to everybody that was hurt around the

images and the song that came out.

And it's almost a pat on the back for Enzo for coming in, donating some money to a charity, apparently an anti-discrimination charity, and

everybody saying, oh, we're okay, we're fine, we're cool with it.

I didn't see the French and Argentinian.

Olympians being cool with it when they played their was it quarterfinal semi-final match and it all kicked off at the end and and many say it stemmed from that i just think it's a reward for distasteful discriminatory language and you've then presented him with the captaincy and admittedly rhys james is the captain but he's next in line and he wears the armband and i think it personally i think it's an absolute disgrace but shows how out of touch that football club is with the real world meanwhile um raim stirling was not in the matchday squad and uh seems much less serious than what we were talking about but he released a statement well a statement was released by his representatives, big fan of adults having representatives, before the game kicked, like just after the team sheet dropped.

It is worth reading all of it because it's so silly.

Raheem Sterling has contracted to Chelsea Football Club for the next three years.

He returned to England two weeks early to conduct individual training and has had a positive preseason under the new coach, who he has developed a good working relationship with.

He is committed as ever to delivering at the highest level for Chelsea FC and the fans who he holds in high regard.

And given his inclusion in official club pre-match material this week, our expectation was that Raheem would be involved in this weekend's fixture in some capacity as a camp, a whole camp.

We have always had positive dialogue with and assurance from Chelsea FC in relation to Raheem's future at the club.

So we look forward to gaining clarity on the situation.

Until then, we will continue to support Raheem's desire to start the new season positively.

I'm just thinking this could be a good way forward for me.

Obviously, I don't actually have representatives, but I could be the representative and I could send emails out like that saying Robin holds this organisation in high regard and very disappointed overlooked for this position.

I love it.

I love it.

I mean,

yeah, you're right.

It's very silly, but I kind of get it.

Like, I guess he's thinking, well, if I'm not going to play this season, I'd quite like to go because,

you know,

and it sounds like he did play quite a lot in pre-season, so maybe in that respect.

So I think it's just, he kind of wants a bit bit of clarity in that the other thing i thought was very funny was after the game when mareska was asked about this if he wanted raheem sterling to stay and apparently there was quite a long pause before he said i would like him to stay but i want all 30 players and there's no space for all of them and it's about that's kind of um it's very um you're all my favorite children

yeah but don't i mean i guess i guess lars we criticize managers when they publicly throw players under the bus so we should should we criticize a player when he throws the manager or the club or whatever?

I mean, it's just not useful, is it?

Like in the dressing room before, they're like, Oh, you see, Raheem's done this.

Have you seen that?

You know, yeah, it's just not necessary because there are quite a lot of other players who were not in their various teams at this weekend for whatever reasons, and their camps did not put out lengthy statements.

Just

where is Raheem Sterling's camp?

You know, I feel like

is it like in the somewhere deep in the forest of Dean or something?

Is there just like

the Sterling camp is there?

They're all set around.

I don't know.

I feel for Mareska in the middle of all this because, as I think Troy alluded to earlier, I really don't think he's running the show in terms of transfers.

Like, really, you've got the owners seem quite involved.

I'm still reeling from Todd Bowley making himself sporting director.

That's the sort of first six months.

I thought that was an unbelievable move.

And even then now, where they have sort of various directors of stuff who they've brought in,

I have a sneaking suspicion the owners are still a little bit active on this side.

But of course, they don't speak.

They don't turn up in front of camera to discuss what they've done and why they've done it.

They're not there to be questioned by anyone.

And so poor old Enzo Mareska, who's just kind of coaching them on the training ground and trying to put this stuff together, has to is the one who has to face the press every time.

He probably doesn't know what's happening with Sterling.

Like Enzo Mareska doesn't know where they are in negotiations to try to sell him somewhere.

He doesn't know.

And he's the one who's supposed to answer all this stuff.

And I, you know, I kind of feel for him in that situation because what are you supposed to say?

I just feel that there's this thing.

And look, I don't think it was very wise to put the statement out at that time but it is but if you look it has been done if you look at the way that chelsea players teammates of raheems have been treated uh connor gallagher trevor chalaba um lukaku probably hasn't even been back there yet uh brozer um and now ben chilwell there's a theme going on at that club i think they're the most embarrassing football club in the premier league at the moment with the way that they're they're dealing with things the way that they're publicly speaking and the way that they're treating their players behind the scenes so whilst I don't think it was a great thing for Rahim to do, or he's camp and whatever else, I can almost understand why it was done.

Um, and I can almost understand the timing of why it was done as well.

So, I think you're right, Max, when you said from the outset there, you know, players get dumped or players get dumped on quite a lot.

And, you know, why shouldn't a player turn around and almost do the same to the football club and the manager?

I think we've got a very unique situation at this club, and it could be a topic of conversation right across the season for the pod.

It could, and yeah, yeah, you know, like Chelsea could do really well.

They've got some good players.

They look good at times.

And you sort of think, oh, maybe if you're cynical, if you're Mareska, you just go, look, I'll have a year here.

I'll get a massive payoff.

I'll play with, I'll manage some interesting players.

And no one will really judge me because, like, everyone knows it's ridiculous.

Anyway, as you say, we will talk about that again.

We may more than once talk about crisis at Goodison.

Everton-0 Brighton 3, perhaps dropping the most interesting result of the day.

And, you know, the closest we have.

Well, maybe Chelsea is a crisis as well.

but but I don't know how bad Everton were.

They started well, but like you just you just don't want to start the season this way.

No, no, I agree, actually.

It feels like this could have gone a different way, actually, this game.

Um, you had um McNeil, you know, off the post,

just a bit wasteful, and then they had this the penalty turned down.

You know, I'm sure people have been debating that.

Personally, I feel I don't, I don't really care whether it's a penalty or not.

I just don't, we were told by um Howard Webb and friends you're gonna say high bar?

Are you gonna say high bar?

No, not high bar, minimum they said again at minimum interference that referees call, they're gonna try and give them more.

And I just think why he didn't need to re-referee that he's given it maybe it would have been soft, but

why do we need to think it was a pen though?

I think it was

yeah, no, I know, I know, but I just why interfere?

No, I like Sean Dyce saying these penalties are all given in the Premier League except for us.

Okay, here we go.

Oh,

he Sean Dye said

his dunk's foot was out of control.

Like it was sort of, it came off the end of his leg and was independent of his body, which I enjoyed.

Maybe that's why Kevin Lewin decided to step on it.

He just looked at us like, that is an out-of-control foot.

Someone needs to step on that foot.

Catch it.

Like it was a mouse running around.

I mean, but look, so good.

What a great start for

Fabian Hertz to Larson.

And he seems like a great bloke.

Like, he said everything he said afterwards just felt absolutely tone-purping.

That's easy after a 3-0 win, but he just got it completely right.

But he's also like, we've had young managers, we've had this young managers before, but we've had young managers before.

We're kind of used to seeing managers be at least under 40 these days.

But he looks really young as well.

Like, when I look at Fabian Hustler,

he looks like he should be off in Cologne playing five-aside with Archie.

Like, honestly,

when Archie talks about playing five-aside in Germany, in my mind, every single person he's playing with looks like Fabian Hustler.

It's just kind of strange.

But the team was really good, and they've got some really exciting players.

I thought that the goals that Everton conceded were very un-Everton-y because they were really open and Brighton had a lot of space to run at them, which you don't expect from a Sean Dye team.

But when you give Brighton space to run at you, I mean, they have some really like flying wingers and guys who can really move with the ball.

Shame to see Minte have to come out, would I guess what was a suspected concussion?

But I mean, he looked very, very promising.

Only seen clips of him from last season, but he had a pretty wild season on loan at Faynod, so I'm interested to see more from him.

And yeah, him and Matoma and Adingra, when he come in, like there's so much speed and skill in this Brighton team.

So they're going to be exciting to watch.

And also, in the name of Nordic bias, both Simon Adingra and Jan Kubaminte played in the Danish League before being picked up by Brighton and Newcastle, respectively.

So, you know, the Danish League is where it's at.

Troy, I wanted to talk for a second about Danny Welbeck because so much at the start of this game, it's all about james miller and actually young being old but danny wellbeck's kind of eternal isn't he because he like his 450th game took his goal well he's been so good for brighton now for probably 20 years

i couldn't believe the stat that it was his 450th game because i always see wellbeck as someone who picks up injuries and and you know doesn't have a lot of games during the course of the season but he's leading that line um magnificently well the front four of brighton i'm not saying that we haven't seen this before because we've seen Brighton and we've seen their performances and we've seen great patterns of play and we've seen great goals from them in the past.

But to get it that quickly, and I thought Everton huffed and puffed without really creating anything major.

I think Robin picked up the McNeil effort, which really should have been a goal.

The pen, but then Brighton clicked into play and Welbeck was really pivotal in that.

Took his goal really well, created another one.

He's just the ideal kind of person that you need if you've you've got a flexible front line.

And that's what Brighton have: a really flexible front line.

And yeah, credit to him.

I don't even know what how old is he now?

Is he 33, 34?

I don't know.

I'm sure you'll pick up on that in a little while.

But an excellent start, and I hope he keeps himself fit because he'll do well for them.

33, 34 on the 26th of November.

So spot on, Troy.

Well done.

Anyway, that'll do for part one, part two.

I'll begin with Liverpool's win at Ipswich.

HiPod fans of America.

Max here.

Barry's here too.

Hello.

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A proper football journalist, mate.

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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Simon says, How many times is your pod going to cut to Ed Sheeran?

Good question.

So, Ipswich nil, Liverpool two.

Ipswich were great in the first half.

Liverpool did turn it on after that.

Arna Slot was very quick to praise Arna Slot for his half-time substitution, I thought, Lars.

Yeah, I mean, mean, that's very undutch of him.

But I mean, in fairness,

in fairness, it was a completely different game in the second half.

Not sure it was just the subs.

I just kind of felt they upped the intensity, they upped the sort of tempo of the ball.

They moved the ball much quicker.

I think that that made a big difference.

And it was harder for

Ipswich to kind of keep them penned back because in the first half, I kind of almost want to talk about the first half more because Ipswich were really impressive then.

And the second half looked like what you would expect Liverpool playing a newly promoted team to look like, kind of like they were sharp, they were, they moved the ball well, you see the technical quality they have.

We know this, but in the first half, I thought Ipswich were really impressive in terms of how they

not just like they didn't just bunker down, like they pressed them pretty high and they made it difficult for them.

And they were really brave in that approach.

And

I think Ipswich deserves some praise for that.

Yeah.

And actually, Robin, they're interested to see how Kieran McKenna approached the game.

Would they just try and play the Kieran McKenna way?

But I mean, and I don't know enough about it, but they seem to mix it up.

They went direct, they passed the ball, they did a lot of things right.

And I guess, I think they highlighted on match of the day: like, if you press, it's hard to keep that press for that long, right?

Yeah, and also, I think Lars is right.

Liverpool just stepped it up of gear, didn't they?

Salah looked, you know, incredible.

Suddenly, you know, Leif Davis, who had a really good like first half, just went, oh, God, I'm actually up against this guy now.

You know, the pass from Trent Alexander Arnold was gorgeous

for the first goal.

But no, I mean, yeah, I don't without trying to give them a patronising pat on the head, I did think Ips, which were really good.

You just I just worry about, and it's obviously just the first game, are they going to be like one of those newly promoted teams that we all think are fantastic, clearly got a very good coach,

but just maybe because they're a bit limited, maybe more like up front, that they're not going to score enough goals.

But I hope not.

And I think, you know, as I say, first game against Liverpool

is exceptionally well, exceptionally well.

And I think they can hopefully, you know, take confidence from that.

Because it just, that's the only thing.

Because you get these, you either get, I just remember when Norwich, it seemed like whenever they came up, they kind of faced Liverpool and lost 4-0, you know, and people were kind of like, oh, you know, they played some nice stuff, but actually, I just, Ipswich do look like they've got a bit more about them.

If they can keep hold of Kieran McKenna, that is, because he do, is he going to last the season yeah and they um you know they can take that confidence to the Etihad next next week

I think what's interesting to about Liverpool is they haven't made any signings right um and one it's a sign that you know players who are already at the club can be quite good you know Silver's Love is great we've mentioned Trenton Alexander Arnold but also put credit to slot for not changing too much because I guess why would you right you turn up and you go oh this is this is really quite good I should probably just let you do this I didn't see a map I wouldn't have been surprised if klop had been there very fortunate manager to to pick a to get a squad like that you know and can almost start the season like running and i know they were very they were very off-key to start with but you know in the end their qualities shine through and you looked at their bench and there's quality on the bench and you know nunez nuniez didn't come on did he so you know they've got a very good squad they're very adaptable i think he's obviously going to see things out for the first few games they They may make a sign in, they may not, but with the quality of what they have already, I think he can do very well there.

And there'll be little subtle changes.

I was very interested to see

how he played Trent Alexander.

And I'm still going to be interested to see how he plays him throughout the course of the season.

But listen, his incredible vision for Salah.

um for jotter's goal and they just seem to click in the place van um

skipper I'm losing names here at the moment, sorry.

Van Dyke, that's the one.

Because I thought he was Ronald Kuhlman with the pass that he played out to

Seller for

the second goal.

Unbelievable ball.

And they just looked relaxed and they looked unruffled.

It was almost like that they

it's the same guy in charge, just under a different name almost.

So yeah, I'm looking forward to them.

I think they'll be there and thereabouts.

I think you probably might need one or two just to make sure that they are competitive with Arsenal and Man City, but it's as good a start as you can have i i understand supporters because we're so conditioned to think that this time of the year is like all about transfers you know every time you open the newspaper it's transfer rumors this this player's link to that but you look at the liverpool team it's like where is the big hole in this squad like where what is the position where they absolutely have to buy someone or the team will explode like i'm not sure that maybe the sort of number six the deepest midfielder that wasn't super relevant against ipswich but like you want wait taro endo is an admirable player mcalister filled in there but then they're after Zubi Mendi, which makes perfect sense.

Aside from that, I don't know.

Like Kwanzaa looks pretty good.

So having him as the sort of guy next to Von Dyke when Kanate can't play, that seems fine.

I don't know what they desperately need to add.

It's just a really, really good squad.

Kwanzaa did also look massively pissed off, didn't he?

When the camera cut to the,

you know, the dugout and everyone was celebrating.

He was sitting there going, I'm really annoyed.

And they were saying, oh, is it an injury that he was taken off or not?

It definitely weren't, was it?

No.

And credit to my radio co-host Charlie Baker, who just gave this image of Jürgen Klopp still being furious that it was a 1230 kickoff.

Just sat, just sat in his house, takeaways everywhere, open bottle of wine, go 12.30 again.

I'm livid.

Arsenal 2 Wolves 0.

I thought Troy Arsenal looked really good in this game.

I know at 1-0, Wolves had a couple of moments.

I just thought Arsenal, it shouldn't be a surprise.

They're a really good team, but they just look really on it.

Yeah, I think, again, Max,

it's what you expect from Arsenal.

You don't expect them.

You expect them to be bright to start with.

You expect them to hit the ground running.

Saka, again,

the talent of the lad.

A lot of players were being left out because of

their Euros, but not Saka.

He wants to play.

He's delivered the two most important moments in the game.

Yeah, there were a couple of chances for wolves, or they did perform better once.

Arsenal had gone ahead.

But it's again, we're talking about a comfortable win.

And we're talking about, you know, many people are talking about this Arsenal team, this Arsenal squad, as the one that will this time around go and win it.

I'm still not sure.

I think they need to sign a centre-forward.

I do think they need someone.

Oh, here we go.

I do think they need someone.

Oh, is this sorry?

Is this a conversation that's been had before?

No, I've just had so many mind-numbing conversations about them leading Australia.

It doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to say.

I just don't know if I can cope with the things that we're going to repeat year after year, week after week.

Look,

they failed in the Champions League.

They didn't get over the line against a very poor by Munich side.

There were times when, again, I still believe that there's stuff going across the goal.

I just think they needed bits and pieces centre forward that will score another 10, well, 15, 20 goals that, you know, is the

defining feature between...

winning 2-1 or drawing 1-1 and things like that.

And those could be in the most important game.

So I've said it for quite a while.

I'm sorry I'm repeating repeating it now but yeah they started they started as i would expect arsenal to start and there's more there's going to be some tougher games coming up for them which will define how we see them um probably before the end of this transfer window i just think it's a bit harsh on kai harvard he just scored like a nice header after a good run into the box and our first take is like well they could use a striker and kai is like hey I'm here.

I'm scoring the goals.

It is the season of Kai.

I don't disagree at all that having a more conventional number nine in your toolbox is something that would be very useful for Mikel Atleta throughout the season.

I fully agree with that.

I guess what you maybe want to do is let Edienketia

spread his wings.

Has he spread his wings already?

There's been so much talk

for him to go somewhere where he can play regularly and for Arsenal to maybe have someone who's more prepared or more suitable as a BitPart player and a plan B.

What I might interject is that if you're in a situation now where Kai Harvard's his plan A up front, Gabriel Jesus is plan B up front, those are both forwards who add a lot to the team in that position, but maybe they're finishing and their goal production can be questioned.

Maybe you're looking at left wing really, because you have Saka.

Everyone knows that's the most dangerous area of the field for Arsenal, that Erdogar-Saka combination down there.

Martinelli didn't have a great year last season.

Maybe he'll up his game this year.

He's still young.

But I would look at maybe if you could find someone, a left winger who could maybe also play up front occasionally, but a left winger who has a more reliable goal scoring output than Martinelli and maybe Trossard.

That would be a place to go.

If we're having one of these mind-numbing transfer-related discussions, Max.

David Ray made one brilliant say from your mate Strand Larson, Lars,

and also Cunha had a chance, didn't he?

And I enjoyed Moscara pinning Habits down by his throat and sort of apologising while he did it.

So I was like, I'm killing this man, but I'm really sorry about it.

I don't know what I thought.

Just like he pretended to have cramp or something on the arm.

Yeah.

I was like, I think it's all right.

I mean, some Arsenal fans wading into the PGML already, but I think that was.

Was there not a situation where he touched Jesus inappropriately as well?

Was there not?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

There's some footage of...

Is it

from the front or from the back inappropriately?

From the back.

Wow.

Yeah, I've had that.

Carl Shorten away.

It wasn't pleasant.

Okay.

And it was many years ago now, but when the Carl Shorten captain put two fingers up my backside as I was, you know, it just so happened happened I was running past him in central midfield.

I was very surprised.

And it is one of the rare occasions where I, you know, when you think I should have said this, I said, what the fuck are you doing?

And he went, you fucking love it, mate.

And I said, well, I don't.

And even if I did, now is not the time.

And I was so proud of myself.

Anyway, anyway, to Walt Trafford, Man United won Fulham-I'm.

Robin, you were there.

How was it?

It was all right.

I think we're all hoping, maybe not unless you've spotted Man United, that it might be a bit of a, well, I guess it would be an upset, not particularly a shock, but no, Manchester United looked okay, actually.

Masraoui, very solid debut.

Gotta say, Harry Maguire looks excellent, like really good.

Summer off without getting arrested in a foreign country has done him the world of good.

And

yeah, he was doing his kind of great Harry Maguire things, like really good interceptions, big switches.

And yeah, just again, a bit like quite, you see it a lot every week in the Premier League.

Fulham were good.

They had some opportunities.

They didn't take them.

Adama Traore once

sprinted past Martinez and we thought, here we go.

Let's just do this all the time.

But actually, to be fair to Martinez, that was the only time he managed to do that.

So no, it was good.

And then, yeah, it was a nice story for the debutant, Xerxe, to score on his debut.

And yeah, I guess, you know, Eric Ten Hag survives another week.

We'll, you know, see what happens next time.

Yeah, I mean, Robin says that jokingly, but it is, it is true, Lars, that if Xerxes doesn't score, like, the conversation begins in earnest, doesn't it, about Ten Hag?

Yeah, it wasn't an amazing performance by Man United.

I was just, in terms of also

people we've spent a lot of time picking on last season who looked a bit better.

I think between the Community Shield game and this game, I think Casemiro's

summered a little bit better than what has previously been the case.

I was just misidentifying him.

I didn't recognize him.

No, God bless him.

He's looked after himself this summer, and hopefully Funited will continue to.

Who did you think it was?

Chris Hemsworth.

Johnny Bravo.

Oh, wow.

He's looking hench.

Exactly.

He's very, very slim.

He hasn't gone for the all-inclusive, clearly.

I'm a big believer.

that a lot of these early games when the teams are clearly slightly undercooked and and i i like ten hag for saying this out loud like ten hag is saying the thing i swear to god every manager in the country is thinking, which is we're not ready.

The players are not ready.

I think that's a nice sort of touch to actually be honest about that.

But in these early couple of refugee fixtures where no one's quite at their best, I think these little moments that build confidence are actually really important for what's going to happen in the next couple of months.

So I think Zilkse getting that goal.

Yeah, we can talk about how it's one finish.

And if he hadn't scored it, the conversation would be different.

But yeah, he made the finish.

And now the conversation is different.

And for him coming in with a pretty big transfer transfer fee, getting an early goal, we've seen so many signings come to Old Trafford and struggle, no matter how good they've looked in their previous clubs over the last sort of decade-ish.

For him to come in and have a positive impact straight away, I think that's super important, even if it was, you know, just one finish in a game that could have gone either way.

Bob says, Will there be black armbands next weekend in memory of Ben Brereton Diaz?

Newcastle beat Southampton 1-0, Troy.

The still image of Diaz with all his hair everywhere as he as he flung himself back is absolutely a mess.

It's like a Caravaggio.

It's glorious.

I'm so delighted he did it.

I know it can be a little bit comedy, but I've got to be honest.

I think it's embarrassing.

I thought it was embarrassing.

Oh, that too.

Yeah, but I think, look, both of them decided that they wanted to cash heads.

One of them went down as if they'd been shot and...

stays on the pitch.

For me, something like that, where you're trying to cheat your way in a game, deserves the same color card as what Shah got.

That's the way I see it.

I just think

it was more than dramatic.

And he obviously knew what he wanted to do.

Listen, Shah fell for it.

There's no doubt about it.

And you've got to be better as a professional footballer to know that these things are going to happen.

But

I don't like seeing things like that.

And I really, really don't.

And I just think now he's set himself up now for the rest of the season because...

I think referees will be looking at him closely, but definitely the opposition, he'll be a target for the opposition fans as he was throughout the rest of the game i couldn't disagree more um i love to see that absolutely incredible and housery of the highest order

he shoved share totally you know it was totally um you know after the ball had gone like and and share fell for it the only thing missing was him scoring that was the that was the kind of the it was the incomplete shithery but oh i mean it was just it was absolute textbook wasn't it absolutely textbook from him but you think fabian share is more experienced enough to not fall for the i know so obvious, isn't it?

My quest to you, Lars is, and I'm not the first person to suggest this, but they did both push their heads together.

So, what happens if Fabian Cher, and it wouldn't look as good because he just doesn't have as much hair, but if he'd flown back, like this was the Matrix.

I think I've mentioned that twice now, but like, like,

that would have been amazing to see.

I think it would have looked incredible if they both went to the ground at the same time, yeah, and they'd just gone, wow!

And then the referee, we, I don't know, he could give them both reds.

I mean, it seems kind of strange.

Uh, it is top, top shithousery from Brent Bretton Diaz.

And I was kind of,

I was looking forward to this on Match of the Day because one of the things I know about Alan Scher is that he really likes shithousery.

I learned this a couple of years ago because he penned a very emotive, open letter to Eddie Howe in

a well-known online publication where he thanked Eddie Howe for many things that he's done at Newcastle.

He thanked them for turning into street smart warriors.

And he wrote, and I quote, Thank you for the shithousing because it's fucking brilliant and it's fucking hilarious.

Wrote Alan Scherer a little while back.

So I was thinking he must have really enjoyed this.

He must have thought this is just the best.

So when I saw he was on match of the day, I thought we're going to get Bren Bretton Diaz is going to get his due credit here for his impact.

But then we got to that part and Scherer seemed to not like it at all.

He seemed to be quite cross.

So I wonder,

has Alan Scherer has some sort of Damascene moment where he just decides he doesn't actually like the shithousing anymore.

Because I guess, yeah, it's one of those things.

You make a very good point.

I mean,

it's full credit to Newcastle for winning this game, right?

Down to 10 men for more than an hour against anyone in the Premier League is tough.

I thought Southampton actually looked quite good when it was 11v11.

You know, the goal was a mistake, but that's sort of how they play.

They're all my thoughts.

I thought they were very good.

And, you know, their approach to the game i i was quite worried for them because i thought you know newcastle away those fans you know started the season i thought newcastle would really hit the ground running but i think there may be a one or two issues behind the scenes at newcastle um but southampton approached the game very well lovely style of play easy on the eye uh play out from the back which eventually cost them didn't it and that's the thing when you're

This league is unforgiving and you know they played very well.

They've started very well.

They've gone to St.

James's Park.

They've quelled the crowd.

There's some shithousery, which everyone, apart from me, likes on this pod.

And I just thought that, you know, if they had gone to halftime and maybe it stayed at 0-0, you're setting yourself up to go and win the game.

McCarthy's, I mean, I don't know what to say about the past.

I don't know how you can not see the right colour shirt at that moment.

But from that point, Newcastle were brilliant.

Isaac to Joe Linton.

you know, a guy that a few years ago would never know where the goal was, but he pushed it onto his left foot and stroked it home.

And I just thought from there on in, Newcastle defended very well.

Their tempo was up.

They were running.

They probably run the most they've run for a very long time.

And in the end, I thought they deserved the win.

Watching this performance by Sethampton, it really did make me think about what a challenge it is for these clubs that come up from the championship because I feel like every season we have one, sometimes two teams who have gotten promoted through playing, you know, very proactive football, kept the ball well,

and brought that style to the championship, and that's worked well for them then.

And then they get promoted, and suddenly they face teams who are much better at pressing, who are much more ruthless, who will exploit those mistakes much more.

What do you do?

Like, do you continue playing the way that that got you promoted, or do you try to pivot?

It's a really difficult thing for the managers because this is clearly a way of playing that will serve you well in the championship if you have the players to do it.

But then making that leap to the Premier League is so, so difficult.

And I think of Brentford.

Brentford were quite a possession-heavy team in the championship.

And we actually saw this weekend that they had put some really nice moves together.

But when they got promoted, Thomas Frank just almost seemed to realize probably can't do this in this league.

So they went much more direct towards Tony, much more focused on set pieces, kind of changed their approach a little bit.

And I think maybe that is something I don't think Russell Martin will do that, but it's something that maybe teams should consider.

But it's the approach that Vincent Company took with Burnley, wasn't it?

They were going to stick to their principles.

They were going to play, play, play, play, play.

They got relegated and Vincent Company is now at Bayer Munich.

So you never know for Martin.

He might change his philosophy, but he may get a big job.

He'll be at the Barcelona.

And actually, the other interesting point that other people have made is the difference between the psychology of winning all the time and next week you go and play and win to you're going to lose loads of matches.

So how do you just kind of put that to the back of your mind, especially if you're trying to play out, is quite interesting.

That'll do for part two.

Part three will begin at the London Stadium.

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Barry's here too.

Hello.

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Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.

West Ham one, Aston Villa two.

John Duran is fun, isn't it, Robin?

To in the summer on Instagram do the West Ham Irons Cross and then to score the winner at West Ham and then to point to the ground saying, I'm here when he means Aston Villa, but actually he's at the London Stadium.

Everything about that's perfect.

That was confusing, wasn't it?

Villa Faz going, hey, oh, hold on, hold on.

We're not at Villa Park.

Yeah, he's great.

He's great to watch.

He brings chaos.

And also, I saw a stat that he's got this incredible goals to minutes ratio, a goal every 103 minutes.

He's great, and

it's a difficult one because he's a really good impact sub, but that's not what he wants to be.

So, like, what do you do?

What do you do?

It's obviously clearly Uni Emery wants him to stay because he's such a great tool off the bench, but that's kind of not how he sees himself.

I think it was another game, though, where it possibly could have,

you know, Villa won, could have gone the other way, could have been a draw.

I saw that that Socheck chance was a 0.93,

which is more than

clearly.

So, I mean,

yeah.

Although I think, Lars.

Until West Ham's penalty, I thought Villa were really good and could have been out of sight.

Yeah, and I'm, you know, I was impressed by them.

And I was impressed by, I mean, this is slightly different from what you were saying, but the impact the

substitutes made.

You know,

you had players coming off the bench, all being involved in the eventual winning goal, which is one of the things you look at

with Aston Villa this season is do they have the squad death?

Because they have to play the Champions League later in the autumn.

It's going to be a bigger, and we've seen that most recently with Newcastle last season, that having those additional games can be a real handful.

Even if they'll are used to playing in Europe, it is having sort of throwaway games that you kind of don't care about that much on Thursday is very, very different to the Wednesday Champions League game, Tuesday Champions League game being kind of the highlight of your week.

And then you have to go again at the weekend.

It's a completely different kettle of fish.

And I think having guys come off the bench and really make an impact is a really promising sign in terms of whether they'll be able to cope with that.

Also,

great, just debut and header from Banana, who I'm a big fan of.

Big fan of him going to a club where he'll maybe get to play a little bit more football with all due respect to Sean Dice and Everton.

And

can this go into the sort of book of football terminology as one of the definitions of a towering header?

I thought it was very towering.

He got up very high.

He actually had to head the ball downwards to get it towards goal almost.

You would not want to be in the way of him.

No, well, Fabianski or Areola, whichever it was, it was Areola.

He didn't want to be in the way, did he?

And

he did say after the game that he had said he was going to score and said, I think if you manifest it, it kind of works.

Now, Ollie Watkins also said after his brilliant goal at the Euros that he had manifested that.

Is this a villa thing?

Are they just manifesting stuff all over the gaff?

Why aren't they doing it every week?

It really works.

I mean, this is the thing.

We should all be manifesting it.

It's just very powerful.

No, it's very powerful.

You can't deploy it all the time.

You have to keep some of this magic.

You have to be in Birmingham and then you can manifest it.

A lot of ex-pros, Troy,

decided that that wasn't a penalty.

It seems to me like it was definitely a penalty when Matty Cash sort of just took absolutely everything.

I'm down with the ex-pros.

I see Robin nodding away and I don't want to.

Oh, come on.

I don't want to upset Robin again today.

You're a professional podcaster now, Troy.

This is the wrong direction for you.

But listen, I can't change your mind.

He got the ball.

He got the ball.

He got something on the ball.

oh no i think you're taking the right of defenders to tackle in their own box which means that they're going to stand do something clumsy but that's what he did no i did i didn't think he i didn't think he did personally i know we all see the game differently i thought he got the ball you know whatever touch he got on the ball he got a touch on the ball which should have been suffice um i would not have given it i don't know uh i don't know that i'm sorry i'm going against you guys no no no that's okay that's okay laws laws but in the most basic way i mean under the rules for what constitutes a foul, it says like a kick or attempt to kick an opponent.

Lars, are you quoting the rules of football now?

Association football in 2024?

I mean, you're allowed to.

I mean, that seems like a good idea, doesn't it?

Seems that this is quite a good thing to do.

But I'm more interested in the schism here, because as you've pointed out, there are certain decisions where

X-players will all say one thing and referees will say something different and a lot of people watching will say something different.

And it's kind of fascinating to me.

Is it the idea?

And this is actually a good faith question here.

I'm not being snarky at all.

Is it the point of like, if you feel, Troy, from the perspective of like the playing side of it, if you get something on the ball, then it's fine.

Listen, as far as I'm concerned, he got something.

He made a genuine attempt to tackle.

He got something on the ball.

You can't.

advocate for what happens after that.

So there was a clash.

I agree with that.

But the most important thing is that he got the ball.

He won the challenge that he needed to make at the point that he needed to make it to stop uh sucek it was wasn't it from driving you know driving into the box sucek wouldn't have got the ball on the other side because he'd taken a touch on it and i and i just think that's that's really harsh when we're we're supposed to be not managing games i don't know what this not or allowing games to play and not managing it i don't know what it is anymore but i just felt that he'd done enough and and and this is what i mean defenders we're not helping defenders defend at all um and i'm not saying that we're supposed to but i think that that in any other era is a tackle that's well made and i think he's got a touch on the ball and and for me that was enough to to end that kind of sequence of play all right

very convincing although i don't agree with you um you've had the whole weekend not to agree this point

um to the g-tech brentford two crystal palace one ethan says is barry's convenient absence somehow linked to ethan pinnock scoring the own goal of the season it was a tired finish from Pinnock.

Like the big moment of this game is Eberties scoring that free kick just before Brentford's opener.

Oliver Glasner says, like, I was told by the referee, Sam Barrett, that he blew too early and made the mistake.

It could have changed the game, but we have to deal with it.

Glasnar said, by admitting he'd made the mistake, Barrett showed he is a great man.

He may be a great man, but like, just don't blow the whistle, right?

Yeah, I mean, we occasionally see this, don't we?

Whether I'm sure he feels terrible about it.

I'm very disappointed with the maturity with which this has been received by the palace.

palace.

You know, where is the Maranakis tweet about conspiracy theories?

There is no room for this maturity in our game.

I just, I'm very, very disappointed.

I think the way they took it, I mean, it's fantastic to see.

And actually, yes,

it's disappointing and it is very, very annoying.

But then Eze and Glasner both said

we had chances.

We had chances.

This again was quite an even game.

They couldn't quite put their chances away.

And

I don't know, maybe it it wouldn't have been received quite so calmly if it was sort of towards the end of the season, maybe.

Yeah, possible.

I mean, maybe Sam Barrett's unlucky because really, Eze has no right to score.

I mean, it's such a brilliant free kick.

On most occasions, Sam Barrett gets away with it because Eze doesn't score, does he?

What did you make of this game, Dars?

I'm just kind of impressed by, again, having praised Brentford earlier for, generally speaking, kind of pivoted the style of play and adapted to the challenges of the Premier League and bloody, bloody, blah, which I believe was my exact phrase at the time.

I just thought it was impressive how now that they didn't have Tony, they didn't have a big man to launch it to, they started playing it out from the back and did it really well.

Like

they did the thing on it on Match of the Day 2.

And I thought that Vel observed like the way they strung passes together and managed to create chances for

Brian and Buemo and John Vissa, who are very different forwards than Tony, who needs different kinds of servers, who you need to put into different situations for them to be dangerous.

I think that's very impressive for a team of Brentford's, limited budget and all the issues of the way they have to run the club for them to be able to hurt a Premier League opponent in a completely different way to what we usually see them do.

I think it's super impressive and speaks well of all the players and the coaching staff.

I have an ugly breakfast this morning, so this might be why I'm disagreeing with everybody.

I don't know how he saw that as a foul.

No, I don't think it's a foul either.

I've watched him all the way.

Yeah, but

we're focusing on the fact that he's apologised and blew the whistle too quick, et cetera, et cetera.

He was not looking at Ezay one bit.

He was just focusing on what was going on in the box.

And for focusing what was going on in the box, I don't know how he even blows his whistle at all and sees that as a foul by Hughes on Collins.

I get it.

We're all set up to think, right, they're going to block them off.

Then the ball's going to come in the box.

Big lad's going to come and head it.

The creativity that Eze used to put that ball in the back of the net.

And then what someone said last night, I heard someone say last night, you're just not going to do that again or you won't even risk it again because people are now going to be right we need to watch ezay when he's far right i get it you know you've you've chalked off an unbelievable goal an unbelievable bit of quick thinking and i can't see why you've even decided to blow the whistle

but he's a great man sam barrett and yet you can't forgive him but i mean troy's right but i mean that's whole the the whole issue here is that it wasn't a foul and if you'd have held on with the whistle var would have cleared it up like on review that goal probably would have been given, which is why if you'd have just blown like two seconds later, then we have the technology to sort through this.

Why did he blow?

The thing is, he's probably saying that himself.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Sorry.

Listen, once I had my bagel this morning, have you never made a mistake, Troy?

Probably a million.

The fact is, I'm not, I don't get called out for them, so don't start now because people will be watching me.

Exactly.

Mark Gay, Captain Palace, but you know, it doesn't necessarily mean he's staying or not.

But it's interesting that Tony didn't play and Brentford, Brian, and Gay did play, and Palace lost.

Tony, potentially looks like he's going off to Saudi Arabia.

I mean, is it just neat sort of general reaction is it's disappointing when someone goes to Saudi Arabia, but especially when you think they've...

I don't know.

Maybe without the ban, Robin, he gets a big move to...

like a big club.

Like, is he just, is it timing?

He's just a bit old, you know, he's 28 compared to, say, Solanke, who's 26.

But I'm still a bit surprised that he wouldn't go somewhere else.

I think Brentford are asking for a lot because he's on his final year of his contract.

So they are asking for quite a lot.

So I think Saudi would obviously suit Brentford a lot, wouldn't it?

Because they'd get a decent watch for him.

I think it would be pretty much the nail in the coffin for his international career.

But maybe he's not bothered because he knows that he's kind of third, you know, potentially third choice.

So maybe he feels like I'll just go and take the money, which I totally understand.

Why doesn't he just hang around for a season?

He's got one more year on his contract at Brentford.

The big reason he's not seemingly not getting a move to one of the big English clubs now is that Brentford won a big fee for him, and they look at his age and they look at the length of contract and they don't want to pay that.

But next summer, he's going to be a free agent.

So

his agent can go to all the clubs in the Premier League and go, hey, Ivan Tony.

I mean,

obviously Wad.

Will want a good sign-on fee and all this because he's a free agent, but he'll have so many options.

We've seen a lot of examples of these sort of target men forwards actually aging quite well.

There's a fair few of them who played really good football well into their mid-30s.

So I don't think the age will be such a big problem if he's a free agent.

So if you just Brentford can't force him to leave.

I mean, he can just stay around for a year and he'll have a bunch of options next summer.

This has been on the cards for quite a while, though, hasn't it?

And he changed agents for a specific reason.

Thomas Frank kind of let go yesterday that his demands, his wage demands, are quite high, which might be what is scaring off, you know, the clubs in the Premier League.

but i agree with you lars sit out for another year get your gold tally up there's a new england manager in place anyway whether it's going to be carsley or whether it's someone else so you know you may go from three to two to one who knows but i think obviously you're signing off your career and we shouldn't say that because jordan henderson was still being picked for england at the time but he effectively is signing off your career if that is the move that that happens forest one bournemouth one it wouldn't be uh the first part of the season if we didn't give enough time to one of the games and this is that game Uh, uh, Lars, if you could do 30 seconds on it, obviously, we send our best wishes to Danilo, that looked really, really bad, didn't it?

Uh, he's broken his ankle.

Um, but beyond that, it was an okay game with two slightly fortuitous goals.

And I have no further thoughts.

Yeah, I enjoyed how even Irayola in the post-match interview looked like he couldn't really be bothered to talk about this game.

He was like, Yeah, we played okay, we created some chances.

They created, I guess, it's fine.

Like, let's all just go home and try again next week.

Yeah, good shout.

Uh, Leslie plays Purs tonight.

Given how all the results have gone predictably, Spurs fans are thinking, oh, God.

But look, we'll talk about that.

Can confirm.

We'll talk about that.

And Leicester's possible six-point deduction on tomorrow's pod, along with a Euro update from Nikki Bandini and Archie Rintukt as well.

But that'll do for today.

Thank you, Troy.

Pleasure, as always, Max.

Go and have some wee to picks.

Cheers, Lars.

Thank you, Max.

Thank you, Robin.

Thanks, Max.

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