Germany thrash Scotland as Euro 2024 kicks off in style: Football Daily

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Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

And look, even the best of us have had a bad day in Munich.

Scotland absolutely taken apart by Germany.

Wurtz, Mussiala, Havertz, Fulkrug, and Chan with the goals.

Ryan Porteus guilty for the third.

Thinking, I've had enough of this and piling at least two, maybe more feet into Ilkai Gundewan.

Germany were brilliant.

Tony Cross dictating the whole thing.

Scotland never had the ball.

Totally outclassed from the first minute.

Even Ali McCoyst sounded sad.

The biggest win in the opening match of a European Championship game.

Also, today we'll look ahead to Saturday's matches.

Croatia beats Spain.

The pick.

I mean, the opening game, the Croatians.

will be full of beans.

Hungary plays Switzerland and the holders Italy begin their campaign against Albania.

Then in the more prosaic world of club football Eric Ten Hager peace to be staying at Manchester United.

We'll answer your questions and that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

On the panel today, John Bruin, welcome.

Hello, Max.

Hello, Barry Glen Denning.

Hello, Max Roche.

Out in Dortmund, Lucy Ward, welcome.

Hi, Max.

Ewan Murray will be joining us.

I can see him entering the Zoom chat immediately.

Archie Wintut here already.

Hey, Archie.

hi max uh ewan has joined welcome you and murray good evening well evening

ewan will we'll start with you how was that yeah i mean i didn't have great expectations about this game but i but i didn't expect scotland would be so ragged so messy um right from the start you know you could tell i don't know about you guys but you could tell within the first minute Scotland just weren't at it.

They look disorganised.

I thought they're big, but I think they're easy to pick on uncertain players, but their big players didn't do enough in the game.

And by that, I mean McTommer, I mean McGinn, I mean McGregor, I mean Robertson, I mean Tierney.

You know, you need those guys to show a bit of character, I think, and pull you through.

And I don't think they did that.

I just thought the whole thing right from the get-go, you could tell they looked spooked.

And it started badly and we didn't get any better, to be honest.

No, I was just going to say,

I mean, to me, the big thing is how, to what extent they are demoralised.

You know, the big game was always a Switzerland game on Wednesday.

You know, to what extent is the confidence now been rocked when it's going to be a problem to get them back up for that fixture?

I think that's the bigger point, the more important point.

Archie, conscious as well that you don't have a lot of time, but from the other side of things,

I mean, that was, I mean,

it was so comprehensive from a German point of view.

The funny thing is, for the first 10 minutes, I thought that Germany was struggling to settle a bit and that they too were looking a bit nervous.

I wouldn't quite say ragged, but things weren't connecting up.

But as soon as that first goal went in from Florian Witz, where it's well taken, but what shocked me was how much space and how easily Ilkei Gundewan's run to drag a player away from that space was for Germany.

And as you say, a comprehensive win and something that they really needed as well.

The atmosphere in the stadium was maybe not as it would have come across on TV because after the first goal,

the Scotland fans went very quiet, which surprised me a bit because they'd been so much louder than the Germany fans before the game.

But even then, it felt more like a Bayern Munich game against an opposition they were expecting to beat where

the crowd were doing polite bits of applause throughout.

And it was only when Thomas Muller came on, actually, in the second half that they really livened up a little bit more.

Tony Cross got some praise and appreciation that he never got a buy in Munich, which was, I'm sure, bittersweet for him, given that he's coming to the end of his career.

But overall,

for Germany, the perfect start.

Yeah.

Finally, for you, Ewan, I mean,

so much is made, and it's early to say the game only finished eight minutes ago.

But, you know, so much was made.

And we talked about it in the preview about Scotland getting out of a group.

In a way,

It sounds ridiculous to say the situation hasn't changed that much, right?

The other two games are the games, right?

Yeah, and also in one way it simplifies it because we're, I think we're away from this three points might get you through stuff because the goal difference has taken a battering, obviously, to begin with.

So, you know, the situation is straightforward.

They need four points from two games.

You know, as I say, I always thought they could,

borderline should beat Switzerland.

That remains the case.

It's just a case of, as I said, I'm repeating myself, but you know, has their confidence been completely whacked?

by what happened here tonight and is that going to linger over the next few days?

It's a big job for Steve Park to get him back up because there was so so much expectation, so much excitement.

The fans were terrific, as they always are, the Scotland fans.

And it's just a big letdown to play so poorly on the biggest stage.

Archie, finally, for you,

you have talked a lot about Jamal Musiala, and he was something else tonight.

Those dancing feet, Max.

You've seen it in the Champions League.

And

particularly for Musiala, who had a difficult time at the World Cup in Qatar, where he was in such a good run of form,

and then he didn't take his chances during that tournament, and it hung over him for a while.

You could see the relief from him after scoring that goal that it was just breaking everything open for him.

But some of those movements, some of the movements, some of the turns, Ryan Porteus had a difficult enough night, but the way that actually

Florian Wierts was also swimming away from him quite early on and Porteus didn't seem to be able to keep up.

It'll go down here as not just Musiala, but also Florian Wierts.

There's been a lot of talk about this Vierziala or Vuziala.

People are trying to come up with a name to coin them both.

But the fact that they've clicked together is such a big boost for Julian Nagersman because that was one of the big risks of the way that he was setting up this team.

Can you afford to play two players in that number 10 position who are quite similar to each other?

But Wierts and especially Musiala shone so bright tonight.

I'm going to guess against that Scotland side.

Yes, is the answer.

Anyway, Archie, Ewan, we'll let you go.

Cheers, chaps.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Back to the panel then.

Barry, what did you make of that?

I was very disappointed with Scotland.

I thought

I didn't necessarily think they'd win.

I thought they might get a draw.

I thought

they possibly might spring a surprise and take all three points.

But I certainly didn't expect them to get hammered and play so badly.

And

just the players let themselves down.

I don't think it was Steve Clark's greatest night as a master tactician.

And the fans who travelled in such numbers, and we've seen all the clips of them having a wonderful time in Munich,

you know, they'll get over it.

They probably won't be massively surprised.

But it just seems so predictable by Scotland to just

sort of live up to, you know, they're in this tournament.

they have high hopes of getting out of the group and within nine minutes the the the memes are flying around on twitter and everyone's laughing at them and it's i it's a bit sad really and in a way this game this was a free hit for them and in a way nothing's changed but if you're going into a game like that um

don't get hammered uh don't don't concede five goals and

if you're if you're lining up to to play quite defensively and narrowly in shape, don't have one of your defenders sent off before half-time.

So they just blunder the bust themselves in the foot time after time after time.

Yeah.

And you wonder, I mean, you often say the first goal is crucial, Lucy.

And maybe it would have been different.

And you think

Angus Garni

should save that, shouldn't he?

Yeah, I probably think there was...

two or three that he probably could have saved.

But I mean, Germany were brilliant because they started by hitting a couple of of balls long, which means that Scotland stretched.

Then they went diagonal and switched it.

So they stretched that, trying to stretch them that way.

And then they went central.

And it, because they front-loaded, I just think, Scott, I think, could Steve Clark look at that and think, right, we've got to do something different here.

You know, it was 5-4-1, but they weren't marking the 2-10s.

So why?

5-3-2 and try and beat the press.

But it's easy to watch it and think that, but you look at how Germany set up and think that

you could get 2v2 at the back.

Some teams, I mean, Germany looked brilliant tonight, but some teams will get 2v2 with Germany at the back, and there'll be a problem for Germany.

But Scotland just couldn't do that.

They set up narrow to protect against those two tens and then didn't pick them up.

They both scored.

You know, it's okay being compact and narrow, but you've still got to pick the players up.

You know, the centre-backs didn't step out.

But I just think Kroes dropping and facing the press where nobody wants to go up to him, it just means that he's just got the pick of a pass.

And

I think he was in the first half, it was 100% past completion.

And that wasn't just sideways and backwards.

It was like putting the ball at risk, passes forward.

And

yeah, Germany looks good, but I'm not sure how much of that because Scotland looked completely overwhelmed at times, particularly at the start.

Yeah, he missed one pass in the whole game, Tony Cross.

And John, actually, as you said, they didn't pick up the tens.

They didn't pick up Tony Cross either.

Like every time he had the ball, he had hours.

Yeah, I'm not sure it says much for the Scottish system.

If you've got three playmakers in the opposition team and none of them get marked out of the game, it's

it didn't go well.

What does that game remind me of?

Well, two.

One from the Wilsonian era, 1954.

They lost 7-0 to Uruguay,

in which Tommy Doctis blamed the Uruguayan anthem being too long.

So

they were tired by the time the game started.

And I think, joking aside, I do think that build-up and the way that Munich is so full of Scots, well, even tonight, they're still there,

it did seem to get to them.

It did seem to get to the Scottish players.

They look nervous.

I was just been looking at footage of Steve Clark arguing with his coaches.

What's the name of the guy with the long hair that does the Austin McPhee?

Austin McPhee, yeah, him and Austin McPhee were arguing.

Any other game it reminded me of, and Barry will remember this very well, back in 2012, Ireland go to Poland.

I think it was in Poznan

against Croatia.

Maybe we can get a draw from it and just fall apart completely.

And it's, you know, and I'm reminded, of course, because Roy Keene rolls out the Roy Keenisms, you know, where's the intensity?

Do your job, all this stuff.

You know, you're not just there for a sing song.

A pretty depressing night for Scotland.

They're still in the tournament.

Germany looked far better than I expected.

But the only thing is we can't really measure it because we haven't seen anyone else yet.

But the Germans must be delighted with that start.

They look excellent.

And yeah, when you key players fire like that, and Croos, you know,

he's signing off.

And by the start of that, he signs off in style.

Just I think the second goal, you just see him dropping deep, beating a couple of players with a body swerve, plays the ball up, and then that mustyana finish.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean, we can play Mangus Gunn.

I think

the Chan goal as as well.

Oh, dear.

Scottish goalkeepers in major tournaments.

Are we going to play that card already?

We've got two of their games left.

Barry, that Ryan Porteus challenge, it was interesting on commentary.

And, you know, you sort of got to play it safe, I guess, on commentary and going, oh, I think he might be in trouble.

I'm watching that going, it might be one of the worst challenges.

It didn't even...

It looked like a man trying to take out a shoplifter.

It didn't look like a football challenge.

I don't know what he was doing with his legs.

I'm not not sure what shop you've been in where.

My co-op,

I generally just see the security guard chasing someone out the door and then very quickly giving up.

Maybe they should adopt the Ryan Porteus

strategy.

It might put potential offenders off.

It was an absolutely shocking challenge, and I don't think I've...

seen anyone anywhere try to defend it.

I think Tim Vickery on Twitter or an X made some sort of joke about

robbery and it was Turpin related because that's the referee's name.

And people were getting on his back because they didn't get the joke.

But yeah, it was an absolutely shocking challenge.

And as it was said on commentary, he did have to do something, but he really didn't have to do that.

It was...

And I'm just glad he didn't hurt Lilkai Gunagen because that could have been a really, really nasty one

for

Germany.

He was the captain, isn't he?

It could have been a lot worse, Lucy.

I mean, you think about it.

I mean, three and a half time down to ten men.

Like the Fulker goal, I mean, there was a shot of it from behind it, which was just so perfect, wasn't it?

Do you sort of feel they sort of got away with a 5-1?

I mean, it sounds ridiculous.

Yeah, it's probably more to do with the fact that Germany came out in the second half and probably took the foot off the pedal to some extent.

Fulker came on and wanted to score, so, you know, he got his goal, Chan the same.

But I think what

Naglesman was trying to get them doing in the second half was press,

but not to engage physically, if that makes sense, so they didn't injure themselves.

So you get through the first game, you've won comfortably, but you sort of try and stop from Scotland from scoring.

And I think that was more what was happening in the second half rather than Scotland doing anything.

better.

I mean the only thing they really could do is just make the game a scrap in the second half to try and stop Germany scoring anymore but it's so difficult.

I mean it's such an S-house challenge wasn't it such a I mean I think he's renowned for those challenges up in the in Scotland or it has been and they sort of said he's calmed down but you know it was it's a split second decision but you he decided what he was going to do you could you could see and I know it happens quickly but that's it it's such a poor such a poor challenge yeah I had a look I think it's his fifth career red card

he plays for Watford now doesn't he believe so yeah

it's funny isn't it but you know you've got Graeme Seolis and Roy Keene looking on, saying, Oh, that was a bit much running.

Can I spare a word for Christina Uncle?

Yeah, of course, the ITV rules analyst.

Now, she's no Peter Walton, that's for sure,

in many ways.

What I would say is, she sounds exactly like what you like, she has that sort of officious voice, like

your plane's been late or something like that.

And she's giving you the information, she's giving it to you straight, and

that's, or she works in some sort of government department, and you know,

you're in a hospital waiting room, and you go through

a good bedside manner.

I thought.

I mean, I think there's a bit of a communication error with Sam Mattiface at first, but it was like clear information.

We're not used to that with VAR, so I thought it was a really good debut.

I really did.

Yeah, yeah.

As Prison Joel said, it sounded sounded quite AI.

Didn't it?

Yeah, it's definitely.

Yes, yes, yes.

So you know what?

From a human point of view and being a woman broadcaster, she will have been like quite nervous tonight doing that for ITV for the first time.

And I was thinking, I sort of watch in solidarity and think, just don't make a mistake, just like I do for myself all the way through.

And she was brilliant.

And I think that that's exactly what you want from her.

There was, you know, she could have got, I'd stick for any Americanisms in terms of, you know, the way that, you know, sometimes they use the language around football, but nothing like that.

I thought she was brilliant, and on a human level, I was like, Go on, sister, she was brilliant.

Yeah, it was good, it was quite funny the first time Sam Matterface threw to her and then couldn't hear her.

So it's like she was talking, it was like Sam just didn't give a shit.

I can't hear, I can't hear.

Yes, Baz, it's it's not her first rodeo, like she has worked, I believe, for CBS for quite some time and other broadcasters.

But um, I also liked um

this new wheeze where only the team captain is allowed

to speak to the referee.

And I thought that'd go out the window after three or four minutes, you know, once Grant Hanley had put the ball out for a throw and

was protesting that it should be his throw when he knew deep down that it really wasn't.

But it seemed to work, it really did seem to work.

And long may continue if that I'm not sure it will continue for much longer, but so far, so good.

It's it's something that could really improve the game.

Yeah, you really sense like an injury time penalty in a tight game.

I just can't quite see all the players just standing there going, oh, we'll let the gaffer do it, the captain do it, it'll be absolutely fine.

As we've said, it's quite hard, really, John, isn't it, to work out how good Germany are here?

Like, we know Masiala and Wurtz are wonderful players, right?

And I think for a lot of people who don't watch a lot of German football and,

you know, don't watch the Europa League where Leverkusen were, right, will not have seen foreign inverts do a lot.

But he's got, he's, I mean, he's sort of not as flamboyant, I guess, as Mussiala.

Like, he's a more subtle player, I guess.

Yeah, he's a sort of, I mean, listen, I was going to say more classic playmaker, and I'm comparing him to Mussialo, who's dancing feet, but he's, yeah, a bit more silky, smooth.

And yeah, I mean, you know, Bayern Leverkusen nearly had the season of all seasons, and he is the young star of that team and is going to be Germany's bright young star.

The thing is, they've got other players around him.

It's considering that Germany were down on their fortunes and felt like this was not a great generation, I have to say, it looks pretty impressive to me.

I mean, you've still got Manuel Neuer in goals, of course.

Word for the Scotland goal, maybe.

That was a it felt like the only type of goal that they could score.

You know, it was it was fun, wasn't it?

And

I think there is that you actually could see.

Um, what I thought is interesting, you know, I think that would have scored a bit

just the way that Rudeger was so like intense that they didn't want to concede the goal.

Obviously, that's his department, he wants to take control of it.

I mean, no one's doubting the class of Rudeger as a defender, but I do think that's a slightly dodgy department that, well, it is fair to say Scotland didn't test as rigorously as it might have been.

So, we've still got that to find find out about Germany.

You could see patterns of play, John, couldn't you?

I think for Nagelsman,

he's had a bit of stick and he's sort of trying different things out in different formations, but straight away, and you don't often see that from, or recently seen that from Germany teams, that you see patterns of play and you could see that.

He let Kross do what he does at Real Madrid.

That's a no-brainer.

You know, he let those two tens be free and find space.

Then you've got Gundawan as well.

And

it just looks good.

But, you know, they haven't been tested at the back, and I think that may be a weak point.

Well, I mean, you said it at the very start, Lucy, it's that variety of play, and you don't often see that in international football because the managers don't have long to work with them, so they pretty much stick to a template.

But he actually has players good enough, especially around that sort of playmaker, attacking midfield, that he can play that variety.

That's pretty exciting.

I'd be excited if I was German.

Yeah, and I love Havertz or Full Crew because they're both great and very different, you know, and can

do some similar things in very, very, very different ways.

Glenn says opening ceremonies are always shit.

But was that the shittest ever?

Barry,

what did you make of it, Barry?

It was mercifully short, so

that's a big tick in its favor.

Obviously, like yourself, Max, I'm familiar with all the artistes whose music was played, Leone,

One Republic.

Are you reading?

Buzz.

Yeah.

Low Sins featuring Dermot Kennedy.

I'm guessing he's Irish.

I've never heard of him.

Hey, you've never heard of Dermot Kennedy?

Christ, Buzz.

Seriously.

No, I haven't, Lucy.

No.

And if he's featuring in UEFA opening ceremonies, I have to say I'm glad I've never heard of Dermot Kennedy.

But yeah, it was all right.

Interestingly, Oni, who was kind of her mute, the star of the show, her brother, I'm sure

you'd all know as well, he plays for

Erzgeberg Avenue in Bundesliga 3.

Who does he play for?

It's a Saxony team called Erzgeberge.

Oh.

Chris de Berg.

That sounds like his name is Corbinian Berger, anyway.

So that sounds like when you're doing your impression of the Swedish chef.

Yeah,

it's already already.

Or Vic Vic Reeves singing in the cabaret style.

Producer Joel said that it's absolutely spot on that

the opening ceremony looked like an apprentice team.

Team Euphoria.

Team Euphoria.

You're coming back to the boardroom.

They're all sitting there now in the Bridge Hope in that cafe, aren't they?

Everyone who's in that opening ceremony.

I always feel a bit guilty laughing at those things because there will be a group of school children who get to run around with like a you know a balloon or something.

They'll be looking forward to that for months.

And yet the likes of us just sit there and sneer and just go, what's the point?

To be fair, I think they were all adults.

Yeah.

Everyone involved.

Yeah.

They all did their job.

I mean, it was entirely what I would expect.

But it's short.

It's less than 10 minutes long.

Whoever puts these things together, it's a bit of a racket, isn't it?

Because

where else do you get these things?

Do you think

they also design the clothes?

Because they're only there.

But you're not getting those anywhere else.

They also make make the flags and the plinth.

You're absolutely right.

And then they get, and then whoever at the next tournament, they go, well, they did, they did Euro 2024, so might as well get them.

And they're sitting on.

Do you reckon it's that, what's that person, you know, the PPE fraudsters?

It's them.

They've got a guns division.

Yeah.

They didn't own it.

They didn't own any.

When they got the gig, they owned no plinths and no streamers, but they were still given a 500 billion pound contract.

Anyway, that'll do for part one.

Part two, we will look ahead to tomorrow's games.

HiPod fans of America.

Max here.

Barry's here, too.

Hello.

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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Tomorrow's games, two o'clock Hungary v Switzerland.

The dark horses versus the expendables.

John, how do you see it?

Well,

is there a more classical Saturday afternoon Euros fixture than this?

A sort of Central European derby.

It feels like a 1-1, if I'm to make any sort of element of prediction about it.

Yeah, Hungary, people that know a lot more about this type of tactical stuff than I do, and Lucy is one of these people.

I believe they play, Marco Rossi's their coach play this sort of relationism, don't they?

I don't,

yeah,

I could see Barry sink into his seat at this point.

No, it's just, I think this is the fourth podcast in a row that relationalism has come up.

Is it relativism?

Or whatever.

Relationism and

celestialism and relate.

Okay, so.

Yeah, I think this is the fourth podcast in a row.

It's creeping into our vernacular, and I don't like it.

You don't like it, okay.

I'm sorry, Barry.

No, but it's fine.

I'm not the boss.

I'm not in charge

I didn't mean to you know offend you I've just I've read quite a few articles on this subject and they've all bored me yes well peed on your bonfire johnny Jesus well the thing is I was actually going to get to that that I don't find it that interesting either but you know I I we will of course be accused of being dinosaurs now by the young hipsters who who lap this crap up but sure but but we we also you know is it old hat to sort of you know think that Peps maybe got this game licked and this relation Because this last time I saw Hungry play, Barry, I watched them against Ireland, and they weren't particularly impressive, and that's only a couple of weeks ago.

And my other experience of that Relationism style of play was the Fluminenci team that went to the Club World Cup, who started playing the ball out of defence, got robbed by Manchester City players and lost very heavily.

So I'm not writing off Hungry because they're pretty solid team, they've got some good players.

Obviously, Sobersley is one of Europe's most promising players.

Switzerland, from what I gather, are slightly

getting on a little bit as a generation.

Great fun to see our old friend Shakiri about suddenly as a substitute.

But they're missing the striker, aren't they?

And Bolo, who's a very good player for them.

Having put all that together...

I'm standing by 1-1 for a prediction.

And this is the type of game that

only in a Euro, the first weekend, would you get away with watching Hungary v Switzerland, really?

Let's face it.

I mean, interesting, you mentioned Ireland there.

They are the only team who are neither relationist or positionist.

They stick to absolutely neither.

Spain, Croatia, Barry, is quite mouth-watering, isn't it?

It is as a one-off game, but the fact that

I think I flagged this up in the preview, the fact that

four of the the best third-place teams go through kind of takes any jeopardy out of this game.

Spain, Croatia, Italy in the same group.

There's a very good chance all three of them will go through.

Albania are a wildcard, obviously.

And Lucy will tell us all about them in a minute because she's doing that Italy-Albania game tomorrow.

And I'm sure she's done all her homework, so we didn't have to do ours.

But yeah, it ought to be a really good game.

Croatia clearly have very

an aging side.

They've got that midfield with what is it, something like 372 caps between them, I think.

Perisic is still there.

He probably won't start.

He's interestingly,

he's a Spurs player until the end of this month, but he's been on loan at Hayuk Split for

the last six months.

And he came back from his ACL injury after seven months out.

So he's played quite a lot of football, but he hasn't completed 90 minutes since coming back.

He started a few games, he's finished a few games, but he hasn't played more than like 50 minutes.

And I think as soon as his contract with Spurs ends, he will sign with Hyduk Split for a season.

But yeah, they're obviously getting on a bit, this Croatian team.

Spain have some very exciting youngsters.

They've got some wise old heads in there, none wiser than Rodri.

It's a hard one to call.

I'd probably go for Spain, but I think if either side loses, they won't be too upset about it.

Interestingly, this is the fourth consecutive Euros to feature Spain versus Croatia.

And Croatia's side actually unchanged from 2012.

It's exactly the same.

I went to that game, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

I think Spain won it very late on.

Interesting to say,

Barry says that Rodri is a wise old head.

Guess how old he is?

25.

26?

27.

Still.

They're old, yeah.

There's a lot of legs still left in Rodri, who is an absolutely.

The Croatian midfielders could all be his dad.

Couldn't they

Lamin Yamal's dad?

Well, that's true.

It's true.

So Italy, Albania, Lucy, you're doing the game.

Talk us through it.

Well, it's interesting because Italy have got quite a lot of injuries, particularly sort of centre-back or defensively, but they're in the team in transition.

But I think the best thing about Italy is the manager, Spoletti, who was on a sabbatical from Napoli, which is why Napoli allowed him to leave when they won the Serie A.

But he came back and came in for Italy.

But I think what's happened is he's sort of

using different formations.

4-3-3 worked for them in qualifying, and then he sort of tried three at the back.

And this is in sort of recent games.

And so I think that that the sort of Italian fans are thinking, hang on a minute, you know, what are we going to do?

Are we settled?

And I think it's because of the injuries.

But he's also left,

you know, some key players out as well, strong players out.

I think there's only eight or nine in the squad that

won the Euros, but he's brought young players in that look all right.

But I just think that Spoletti is the positive about

Italy.

You know, if he gets it right coaching-wise, he's incredible.

I mean, he's he's a maverick, and you know,

that word that Baz doesn't like, you know, he allows his teams to play with a little bit of freedom.

Um, they've obviously got Barella, who is probably one of the best centre-midfielders

around still.

Um, but I have done quite a lot of, you can tell that I've done quite a lot of research on these, but the weaknesses is the weaknesses are that they're not very good on losses.

So, a team like Albania, and I'll go on to them in a minute, that will be

food for thought for them because Italy, when they get themselves forward, they leave a lot of spaces at the back, and I think that could be exposed by someone like Albania.

Now there are apparently 50,000 Albanians outside my hotel as we speak.

There are fifty thousand

and it's it's like a typical Friday night really for me, but yeah.

But there are apparently fifty thousand Albanians in Dortmund, uh and they're apparently a little bit wild as well.

So uh it should be quite a uh I mean, you know what the Dortmund stadium's like, it's incredible.

We went there yesterday,

had a look.

They've sort of changed the yellow wall to seating, so that's taken away a few thousand of the capacity.

But it looks fantastic.

And I just think that Albania, they've got one or two bright players.

You know, the wide players are good, tricky, quick, score goals.

Asani, I think he played, who was playing in the Korean league, and

Silvinio.

Yeah, Silvinio is the manager of Albania, those people who is it Arsenal he played for, Brazilian.

So they've got Arsenal and Barcelona, yeah.

Yeah, so he's, I mean, he's fully embraced,

you know, Albanian culture, and I think he's sort of lived there while he's been, you know, preparing for games and things like that.

So they've sort of welcomed him with, but he's the scouting network has sort of spread out and he's found this Asani who has had had an under-21's cap but

sort of lost from the system playing in career and he's come in and qualifying and just like scored all these goals and been brilliant.

So, you know, they won't be easy, and this is a key game, this one, because of the others

in the group.

It's a key game for Italy that they get three points.

Lucy, Armando Brogger is likely to start up front for Albania or certainly feature at some point.

He went on loan to Fulham from Chelsea to get more game time this season ahead of the Euros.

He's played less than ninety minutes for Fulham.

How hard is it to come into it like the match environment at this level and make an impact?

Yeah, it is difficult.

I mean, he's had serious injuries, hasn't he?

I think he didn't have an ACL at one point.

And so, I mean, obviously, his sort of strengths of pace and power, but I think that quite like a lot of young players who play for these teams, that their national team, they feel a lot more comfortable.

And I think that's for him.

He's got the wide players, Safarian and Asani, who deliver the ball into the box.

So he's sort of got that in behind.

And what's happened is that I think their main player, the number nine, they didn't include in the squad and he had a strop and retired from international football.

So I think Breuer has got a chance here to

be the sort of main man.

But it'll be interesting because

obviously they'll be the underdogs all the way through these brute games.

Absolutely nothing to lose.

They're ferocious fans who make a spectacle.

So I just expect more than I think what what other people are expecting from Albania.

Interesting on this Belletti.

Um, he allows the players to play with freedom, but he's a bit of a you know, he bans things, you know, like Conte and Ketchup.

Did you read all this?

Yeah, I did, yeah, yeah.

Banning big headphones

and players walking around with headphones on and, quote, a stupid look on their face.

Brilliant.

What's that shoot-em-up game that they all play?

You know, something of war.

Call of Duty.

Call of Duty.

Yeah, he actually has, I think he actually mentioned Call of Duty.

He's like, you know, I don't want my players to be good at Call of Duty.

I want them to be good at football.

Yeah, I mean, the thing is, I think one of the reasons actually that Italian teams can be good at tournaments is

that the players are actually used to going away from home and living like monks, essentially,

which is probably why they're quite bad.

They're sometimes very bad at qualifying because it's a different thing.

Whereas once they get to a tournament, once it set there, because, you know, none of them are big drinkers, maybe a glass of red wine.

They're used to just like, you know, getting rest, staying in the camp.

And Spoletti, as Lucy said, you know, if you think of all the tactics he's used over the years, was it him

when he had Totti and the team, played that 4-6-0?

Yeah, and just, you know, just but brilliant, you know, and just at the tactical innovations, and, you know, you actually think back to

back in back in the previous Euros, we thought of Italy as creating this new type of tactics in the way they played.

I mean, the thing is, as we found across the club football, you know, Italian managers are still pretty good

and know how to do it.

And the thing is, I think once they're in the tournament, they could be a threat for anybody.

I think you'd probably see them brushing past Albania, wouldn't you?

But yeah, I do like this idea of them just locking it down.

I mean, like, you look at stuff from the England camp and you see all this fussage of journalists playing pool with,

you know, you know, with Jordan Pickford or whatever.

Holy Faker Others beat Jordan Pickford at darts today.

And golf and all this stuff.

And you just think, you know, Mr.

Spoletti would not be having any of that nonsense, would he?

No.

Although you do wonder,

do you reckon monks?

I reckon there's a gaming room now in

a monastery.

Do you reckon monks have sky TV?

Now that

this is regarded as a great hardship?

Or is that

a Hessian shirt is like having cigar no cigar a group of monks from the cistercian abbey in ross grey in county tipperary used to come in every day to the my local snooker hall in burr and play for a couple hours and uh

so yeah they're they don't live a life of total misery they have misspent not youths because they're all quite elderly but i thought you were going to say a group of cistercian monks won esports call of duty 2024 World Championships.

Anyway, that'll do for part two.

Part three, any other business, including Eric Ten Hoggs staying at Manchester United.

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Max here.

Barry's here too.

Hello.

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Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.

There's quite a lot happening at Manchester United, John.

Eric Ten Hag

is staying.

Saw you tweet that it feels like a holding pattern, like they're just

doing laps above Chertsey before they're allowed to get to Heathrow or whatever.

Yeah, it feels a bit like Bixer Jim's master plan has stalled a bit.

I mean, we have to remember that...

This concept of gardening leave meant that he hasn't actually got anyone of his chiefs around him, really.

Omar Barada, I think, joins in July.

There's a continuing dispute over Dan Ashworth.

They've been trying to get a new manager.

I think once he spoke to Thomas Tuchel last weekend and that became clear that wasn't going to happen, then Ten Hago, I believe, had been saying, when are you going to give me an answer?

Received his answer.

Perhaps he was surprised by that answer.

I think quite a lot of people were.

But in a way,

I think keeping the manager for the moment, if you haven't got the candidate that you don't, that you wanted, it's probably not a bad idea because when that candidate becomes available, you don't have to change, you know, you've already got someone in that you don't really want, and he's brought in players and all that type of stuff.

Ten,

you're sort of doing Ten Hague a bit of a favour by keeping him, and you're saying, right, okay, so it's my way or the highway at this point.

Um, I doubt Ten Hague will have so much control over transfers.

And the thing is, amongst a significant proportion of Manchester United fans, it wasn't just beating Manchester City in the FA Cup finally.

He was popular because Manchester United fans are bored of the manager being changed.

Now, whether that is going to add up to bring about the golden years, I'm not sure, but

that's probably how I kept Soccer M for the second season.

Well, quite honest.

Poor Andy Goldstein.

I'm sort of happy for it, Tenha, because I think towards the end of the season, you saw that there was a guy there who,

you know, he's a guy of some element of charisma.

He's trying to find his way.

He's talked all this time and made these excuses.

You can say they're excuses about there's not been injuries.

He's made a play of Cobby Mainu.

He's made a play of Garnacho.

Give him a third series, you know, and let's see how we go.

I don't predict great things, but why not?

Because it wasn't anyone else, really.

Smell my cheese.

Yeah.

What do you think, Lucy?

Do you know the thing that worries me about

Sir Ratcliffe and you know what he's doing?

And he's sort of poo-pooing a bit the

backroom staff and the people around Carrington.

And I think one of the charms of, and the thing that's worked for Manchester United over the last however long when

they were very, very good, is that it's like a real family feel around Carrington.

You go in there and Catherine's there, and she knows everybody.

She remembers everybody's name, even if they've not visited.

And there's this one story that actually still makes me laugh, might not make you laugh, Baz, but

I was in the, I was working for the Premier League, and one of my clubs was Man United, looking after their sort of education.

And I was in the

cafe a bit, and there was hardly anybody in there.

And the first team had travelled away somewhere and they'd got on the bus and gone.

And David De Gea walked into the canteen, and one of the ladies that worked there went, Heyo, Dave, who's in there if you're here?

And it was like, brilliant.

That is just there, just natural.

Like, he's a superstar goalkeeper, and she's asking who's in net

if he's gonna.

And I just think losing that sort of charm,

I don't think that that's probably a good idea.

I think, sort of, you know, straightening everything up, but I think losing the sort of local charm from Manchester United, I don't think is a good idea.

So, has Big Sir Jim banned staff from talking like they're in a Monty Plays thing?

Don't you be normalists again?

Has it become like carry on at your convenience?

No, he seems to have done a tremendous job of pissing everybody off who's involved with the club.

I believe

fan or staff who normally get free tickets, free travel and free lunch on the day that if Manu were in the FA Cup final, that was all knocked on the head.

They had to make their own way to London.

They had to pay for their own lunch.

They got tickets, but that was it.

As for Tan Hag,

it did look like he was on his way out.

Things changed.

United obviously got as far as discussing money with Tukel and Roberto de Zurbi, apparently, but so they were obviously planning on sacking him, but haven't, as they've changed their minds, and that happens.

But

he's in this weird limbo where if you just look at the evidence of the Premier League, this is, according to the statistical evidence and the evidence of anyone who can

see with their eyes, the worst Manchester United team in the last 30 years.

But they have had injuries and they did win the FA Cup and they beat Man City in the final, you know, defied the odds.

So, yeah, why not give him

another roll?

I can't see him being there at the end of the season, but you never know.

If he gets players fit and brings in a couple, who knows?

I think the thing about this Big Sajim, the cult of Big Sir Jim, is that every decision that is made just seems to be like, oh, Big Sir Jim's made that decision.

And like, in a way, it's almost like a point where Fergie made every decision in the club, except that Big Sajim is probably a hopeless football manager, unless he wants to chuck himself in like Ron Nodes did all those years ago.

It was Brentford that he did that.

But, you know, I mean, it's just, it's funny that, you know, you had these years of entropy, of nothing really happening.

Well, the Glazers are sort of the other side of the atlantic and nothing really happens and nothing changes and stuff you know just meanders around and then this guy arrives in a hurry decides that he wants everyone to become and come into an office where there aren't enough spaces for people

um see according according to lucy you know acts like a domineering factory owner in a carry-on film uh and you know and then

Then when it comes to the big decision, he can't actually get a manager.

Is that how David DeGea found out he was dropped?

The bus just left.

And the tea lady went.

Hey, up, Dave.

Yes, Sergio Romero has gone on, and who are you?

It's one way of doing it, I guess.

Anyway, finally, this

story...

Lots of people read this story in the Guardian.

It's a great story about the singer-poor goalkeeper, Hassan Sunny, has urged Chinese football fans to stop sending him money after his saves in a 3-1 defeat by Thailand helped China reach the next round of World Cup qualifiers.

He made 11 saves on Tuesday as Thailand fell agonisingly short of a spot in the draw for the next round, which is in a couple of weeks, despite winning 3-1.

They needed to win by three clear goals or score at least four with a two-goal victory margin to climb above China in the standings.

He went viral on Chinese social media and the payment QR code for the food stool he runs with his wife was circulated online with Chinese fans using it to send money.

I did enjoy it for a while.

I was like, oh, okay, money coming in.

But having said that, I was thinking, when's this going to stop?

Is this legal?

Hassan told the Singaporean broadcaster CNA.

I think we have to stop somewhere.

Which begs the question, Barry, do we have a QR code for this?

Everyone's welcome to send me money

or us money.

I can sort out some sort of QR code, I'm sure.

Just give your sort code and account number.

I believe another dimension to that story was that the Chinese people that live in Singapore were recommended his food stall by some sort of food guide and piled down there and ate them.

His wife, who was working the stall, was overworked and we were selling too much of a certain dish that was recommended to the point where she had to say, like, stop.

And I've seen some photos of people coming and having photo, you know, having photos taken with them.

You know, this guy is an absolute hero in China.

Yeah.

yeah i still it reminds me a bit of the that poor barman baz in dublin when we told the whole audience at the liberty hall we were going to a pub on a monday night and some bloke is just about to sort of you know cool time there's two people sitting on a stool and 500 people walk in and all order a pint of guinness that's man it's just like oh mate not today please

that was an error of judgment on our part

actually you were saying there the singapore goalkeeper was even wondering, is it legal for me to take this money?

I was reminded, Max, when that MP, the Rishi Sunak's right-hand man, Craig Williams, bet 100 quid on when the election would be called.

I was reminded at the time that you and I were too scared to bet on you being the next presenter, James Richardson's successor on...

Football Weekly, even though odds were available on some betting website or other, and so we were basically betting that you wouldn't die before you signed the contract.

But neither of us did it because we're good, upstanding people.

We should run for parliament, shouldn't we?

But yeah, Craig Williams.

Do you think he could do the voice of VAR?

But what he should do, really, is just the live odds.

Yeah, I mean,

that should be his gig.

Anyway, look, that'll do for today.

It's a nice start.

We've got lots more of these to do, so we don't need to do any more.

But thank you, Lucy.

Enjoy the game tomorrow.

Cheers, boys.

Thanks, John.

Cheers, Max.

Thanks, Barry.

Yeah, I hope Lucy's able to get some sleep now with the 40,000 Albanians outside her bedroom window.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm not letting them in.

Very wise, I would say.

Football Weekly is produced by Doel Grove.

Our executive producer is Danielle Stevens.

This is The Guardian.