475: Am I Racist?

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It was the new game, Day Scratchers from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

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That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly.

Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.

It's why, for instance, Christian apologists don't debate professional atheists, right?

Ray Comfort doesn't ask us, are you a good person?

Because we have good answers to that.

He asks stone teenagers.

He fucking, are you a good person?

The fucking best peep person at answering that question

possibly on the planet.

Hey, Matt.

This is a bad sign.

You should have got Ray Comfort as a consultant on your strategy.

Bad news.

God awful

movie.

Movie.

Movies.

Welcome back to the Gamcast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian Cinema because none of us has said uncle yet.

I'm your host, No Illusions, and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and Wright.

Heath, welcome back.

Daily Wire in Theaters.

Yeah, it was.

Field trip.

Lovely.

Number one comedy in America, everybody.

Fucking God, they made so much money.

And sitting 900 miles to my northeast, you've already heard him, but I should introduce him anyway as my bad friend Eli Bosnick.

Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?

Not racist, I'll tell you that.

Not okay, not racist.

Establishing early, yeah.

Same.

Well, you know, we're grading on a curve today.

Yeah, we all get to win that one for free.

Yeah, I was going to say, on today's curve, I think I might be black.

Yeah, honestly.

So tell us, Eth, what will we be breaking down today?

We watched Matt Walsh's latest Daily Wire movie, Am I Racist?

It's the story of yes, it's the story of yes,

yes,

or am I yes, yep,

as it turns out, or is it?

Yes, yes, yes, that's the whole movie.

It's him asking people and then being like, yep.

Yeah, though, that's a racist thing you're doing.

And Eli, how bad was this movie?

Well, if you love fighting with your racist relatives on Facebook, but you wish they'd accidentally make a movie about the time they shat their pants at a Buffalo Wild Queens and had to be carried out to their Uber, wrapped in a trash bag by the bouncer,

you will love this movie.

My friends, we have seen a lot of self-ownage on this show.

Yeah.

A lot.

My goodness, we talked about God's Not Dead 37 last week on this program, but this is a breathtaking lack of self-awareness, this particular film.

It truly is.

Yeah.

I'm okay with everybody seeing this film.

That's how much self-awareness

is.

I'm like, yeah, sure.

I'm okay with people seeing this film.

Get this information out there.

Everybody should read the Bible, too.

It'll go badly.

Yeah, right, right.

I don't want him to pay Matt Walsh for it, but I do want people to see it.

So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at?

Best, best self-ownage, just like Elijah.

Yes.

I was going to say best, best or best, worst, whatever.

Not knowing that you lost and when you lost.

So

he spends the whole movie, he's pretending to be, he's undercover.

He's pretending to be like a DEI loving white guy.

And he's going to satirize that to try to like take it down.

And he sets up a bunch of fake moments.

And every single time, in every moment he sets up, we watch people be like, oh, you're in a costume making a racist movie.

I'm leaving.

Yep.

And 100%.

And then, but then he keeps going, though.

He keeps showing all these movies.

He leaves that in the movie.

And afterwards, he shows it.

So

everything that happens after they clock you as a troll is just losing to your own movie.

And he shows all of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I was going to go with the exact same thing.

And I realized, no, you can't hit that beat three times in a row.

So I switched mine at the last minute to best, worst, drunk.

So there's a point in this movie where he's just, he just needs some everyman wisdom.

And the guy.

Oh, oh my god they i'm talking yeah the guy who looks like you left the thing on your dashboard overnight and it was hot outside it's insane the people he chooses yes the people he chooses to represent the everyman are such offense listen to me carefully are such offensive stereotypes of white people that i

against this movie watching this movie was like Come on, man.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

That is racist.

You're racist against white people.

That is offensive.

That guy, I think that guy's like post-stroke or something.

Yeah, right.

He names it, subtitles.

They did.

He was slurring so bad.

It was 2.30 in the afternoon, and he was slurring so bad they had to subtitle the man who was speaking English as his first language.

Yes.

On Matt's side.

It was Tom Segura doing an impression of a Louisiana guy.

100%.

If we showed that clip to Tom Segura as like, hey, here's a parody someone did of your Louisiana bit, Tom Segura would be like, it's a little broad.

Yep.

Jesus.

And I am going to go with best, best theater experience.

Now, my friends, I know you're not going to believe me, but this is 100% what happened to me.

And I'm going to speak my truth.

I know we usually say this for the beginning of the review, but I need to say it now because it has been bubbling up inside me since I watched this movie on Tuesday afternoon.

Okay.

I just want to say that I have a best, worst, worst, worst theater experience.

Oh, okay, fantastic.

Do you want to go first then?

That way I can be a palate cleanser.

Okay.

I'll tell you the first thing that happened to me.

This time, because last week I had trouble with this, I tried to buy a ticket last week ahead of time and I didn't bring the business credit card that I used and it didn't work.

So it was a big pain in the ass.

This time I brought my credit card very intentionally because I wanted to go to the little machine and boop my credit card and not speak to a single human being about what I was about to do.

Yeah, I can imagine.

So I can imagine.

I remembered my credit card, but it didn't fucking scan right.

So I tried to use the machine, didn't work.

And then I had to buy tickets at the counter from the African-American person working the counter.

Heath might have worked, but I think, and I was like, oh, good, I don't have to do that.

And then I walked up and the guy taking the tickets was a black guy.

And I was like, I'm ironic.

It's, I'm a reviewer.

I criticize it.

I'm reviewing a a review in a movie movie critic i spent like a minute and a half doing that same thing you just did mumbling yeah so first i was like i i almost did the the barbershop thing where i was like i'm gonna wait for the next counter person's shift to begin i'm gonna stand here for hours i don't care no i'm good i'm good i'm just gonna chill here for a second yeah you do everybody go ahead of me everybody go ahead of me when do you get a break

god but then i finally had to do that and then try to explain awkwardly i have podcasts ironic i held my phone at arm's length like I was keeping it from the usher who took it.

And I was like, you're about to see what ticket I've bought.

I make a funny movie podcast where we make fun of bad movies that I don't like.

Yep.

And then I handed it to him and he was like, okay, man.

And I was like, all right.

Now I overexplained it.

Yeah.

Man, I, I, I wanted to ahead of time make a t-shirt that said, I do an ironic podcast.

Yeah, I'm here ironically.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, but, but Eli, we're still waiting on your best words.

Yes.

Okay.

So I have that experience where I show the usher, usher.

I don't feel believed.

I don't feel listened to.

I get into the theater and I would love to tell you, podcast listener, that my theater was dead empty, but it was not.

It was occupied by two white bros, backward baseball caps still on, feet up on the on the seats in the theater, there to celebrate the works of the Daily Wire.

Now I go into my back far corner, right, which is where I always, because I have a little light that I'm writing with, right?

Cause I'm using my phone.

And so I go back into the back corner and these guys obviously feel like this is the safest place possible for them to be the racist pieces of shit that they are.

They literally, and I saw you guys got it too.

AMC did like a, it's Hispanic Heritage Month ad before the movie started.

They booed the Hispanic

Heritage ad.

They booed the concept?

The concept of Hispanic Heritage Month.

Wow.

Was booed by these people.

And I was literally sitting there being like, I don't like this.

I don't like that I'm in the room with these guys.

Right.

One minute before the movie starts, a group of six black teenagers come in

and sit

directly surrounding these two white guys so that they can loudly.

Somehow they spin some of the chairs to face them.

Loudly make fun of the movie the entire time.

And these white guys sat there in paralyzed, hateful silence the entire fucking film.

These teenagers like, that's right.

They would just yell throughout.

I don't have it in my notes.

They would just constantly make fun of the movie to the movie.

And these just two livid white bros in between the group of them just sat there in perfect silence.

My notes in order are: oh my God, a group of black teenagers just came in and they're sitting on either side of them.

I'm so happy.

Nobody will believe me.

I have magic powers.

I'm crying with laughter.

Okay.

I'll tell you: when I walked into the theater i saw 11 white guys each sitting alone obviously separated out i sit down in my back row seat because same thing you know i got the i'm gonna take the phone and try to swipe some notes as fast as i can a little bit of light and then a couple minutes after i sit down two black women come in and sit right next to me no

next to me and i was like ironic i'm here ironic it's ironic

they sat right next to the shaved-headed guy.

Yeah, I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

And when they were doing, they were just like talking a little bit before the show started.

And at one point, they were like, I think we're scaring these white people.

That's made me so happy.

So I was, it was just me and one other guy in the theater.

I got there way early and took the back corner like I always do.

And then one guy came and he sat right in front of me.

Like the guy in the urinal meme.

And I was like, he kept looking back at me like, kind of like, huh?

That's pretty funny.

Right.

And I'm like, God, this guy's going to try to make friends with me.

And he will.

I will mention it later in the, but he tried to make friends with me afterwards.

All right.

Well, I need one more break to try to clean this movie off of me.

So we're going to take that, but we'll be back in a minute with all the blatant affirmations that are, am I racist?

I don't know why you'd buy a pro when it doesn't come with the disk drive.

Well, you can buy the disk drive.

Right, but it's supposed to be the upscale.

Why wouldn't it have all the stuff?

I mean, I didn't make it, man.

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

Sip.

Hey.

Hey, Eli.

Are you

a little underdressed there?

Seems like you're a little underdressed.

Oh, am I?

I thought we were just doing European these days.

I don't think that's considered European, Eli.

Also, what are you talking about, European?

He's talking about Quince.

Is that the guy he was emailing?

Eli, I told you he's not a prince and he does not need your money.

Okay, you know nothing of Nairobi's model.

No, no, no, no.

It's not that.

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Thanks, Heath.

Eli, I think that string is supposed to go in

the back.

Don't be silly.

What would I wrap it around?

You know what?

Never mind.

Hey, podcast listener.

I'm No Illusions.

I'm Heath Henright.

And I'm Matt Walsh.

Matt Walsh, what are you doing here?

I'll tell you what I'm doing.

I'm helping out my biggest fans.

Oh, dude, we are not your biggest fans.

I wish you were dead.

That's true, but you guys saw both of my movies.

That makes you the majority of the people who saw my movies.

So I'm giving you a little sneak peek of what's coming up in my The White Guy trilogy.

Okay, what's that?

I'm glad you asked, Keith.

Just in time for Christmas, Daily Wire is proud to present, How come nobody ever helps me with the Christmas lights?

It's the story of a dad who never lets anyone help him hang the Christmas lights, finally working up the courage to yell at his children about it.

I see.

And

anything planned after that?

Oh, we sure do.

Well, after Valentine's Day rolls around, we've got My Dick Isn't Small, Your Vagina Is Big.

That one's kind of self-explanatory.

Sure.

And it's all accompanied by our brand new streaming series, Anything But Self-Awareness.

We'll dive into history and today's greatest mysteries, like aliens and why everyone but me seems to have friends from college.

And who's stopping people from enjoying my super funny tweets?

I can promise you this: none of the answers are that I suck.

All right.

Well, looking forward to it.

Hey, Matt, question.

What do you look like without a beard?

Oh, like my personality.

Sure.

Yeah.

Same, buddy.

And we're back for the breakdown.

And of course, this was a super uncomfortable field trip.

So all of our notes start before the movie.

They sure do, baby.

Yeah.

How does it feel to gaze into the future as you watch the previews for Dinesh D'Souza's vindicating Trump documentary?

Oh, yeah.

No, the whole time I'm watching it, I'm like, fuck, I'm going to have to watch that show.

You have to do that too.

Yeah.

I got so many previews for this.

It felt like the movie ran like 30 minutes late on the start time.

And I was like, I hope this is on purpose.

If they just keep showing previews until we all leave slowly one at a time, I'm going to be so happy.

I'll have to deal with it somehow for the job, but I don't care.

That'd be awesome.

There was definitely a revenge element to my movie because they never turned the lights down

at no point did they ever turn the lights down and at one point the guy who urinal memed me who sat right in front of me the whole time went out and like clearly i'm sure he was asking him to turn the lights on but they they never did and that's great for me because i'm taking notes the whole time i don't have to use my phone or anything like that

that was awesome but like that guy was pissed you could barely see the

movie

I had the experience of, you know, all those things they show you before the movie to try and like thank you for seeing a movie instead of streaming it at home, right?

Like the Nicole Kidman thing where she's like, wow, lights never felt better than when I'm in a movie theater.

I look like a space alien.

They all struck me as so surreal as I prepared to go watch.

Amiracist,

right?

Because when someone's like, thank you for experiencing engaging stories on the magic of the movie.

Yeah, I was just like, the Daily Wire.

I wanted a voice to cut in and be like, accept this one.

Except this one.

Right.

Yes, exactly.

So Nicole Kidman specifically had in her contract that it wouldn't be shown before.

You can't say the word majestic and then show Matt Walsh.

It's not, it's physically impossible to do.

You'll have an allergic reaction.

Ah, Gladiator 2 looks so awesome, though.

It does.

Yeah.

So, and then we get the Daily Wire logo, and they try to do the Marvel logo thing where they show all the like past movies projected on it, except they've only done like three fucking movies.

So, it's kind of a sad little thing.

To be fair, they bought an existing film called Run, Run, Hide, Fight, which they slapped their politics onto at the last moment.

They did the Matt Walsh movie before this one and this fucking movie.

Yeah.

Well, they had ladyballers in there too.

They showed them.

Oh, my goodness.

I forgot about ladyballers.

Walsh vehicles.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

So, and then we get this opening quote.

by Ibram X Kendi, which all they show is the only remedy to past discrimination is future discrimination.

I'd encourage you to look up the whole quote.

It's actually, he makes a really interesting point there, but they're not.

Oh, is there context to that?

No, Judah.

Are you trying to introduce nuance to anything ever?

I'm sure you're not.

You're doing ami-racist, Snoa.

Get the fuck out.

There is no room for me.

Do you guys think Matt Walsh's people reached out to Ibram ex-Kendi and he was like, you guys are Matt Walsh.

And they were like, fuck.

Yeah.

Well, so yes, we'll get to it.

I have a theory that's very much along those lines.

But yeah, so then we open with the the movie like where he's like, I guess, tricked his way onto a Utah morning show by pretending to be a DEI expert.

Okay, just a quick reminder, because this is going to be like his major gotcha is like, I made it onto morning shows.

Multiple morning shows have had me on to be a magician.

The standard of going on a morning show is

being willing to go on a morning show.

Waking up.

Right.

Being awake that early.

Yes, exactly.

Well, and also, so like, and this is because he's going to try to do the whole borat thing right throughout the movie, except he doesn't understand why that's funny at any point.

Yeah.

So he doesn't exaggerate right

and he never has anything funny to do or say.

So, you know, like, like he starts this out with, he's like, well, you know, I'd like to start off by doing a land acknowledgement.

And he just does that.

Right.

That's it.

Right.

It's like, oh, ha, caring about the genocidal funding of our nation is so stupid.

That's the joke.

Yeah.

And he was in Utah, so I thought he was going to be like, this is Lamanite land.

Oh,

that could have been funny.

Right, but you're funny, though.

We can't help but write better bits than Matt Walsh writes.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

So he does that.

And again, there's no punchline.

He doesn't just like, you know, list, you know, again, if I'm trying to do this as a joke, I'll start listing, you know, and the and Australia Pithe scene and et cetera, et cetera.

But he's too dumb to think of any fucking joke.

So he just does a land acknowledgement.

He might also also not believe in that thing.

Well, that's true.

Well, yeah, right.

No, that'll divide his audience.

That's true.

Yeah.

But yeah, then he has this little exercise where he asks these two ladies to stretch out of their whiteness.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Anti-racist yoga for white people to get woke, which I was like, okay.

I mean, that's dumb, but solid idea.

Like, whatever works, you know?

Sure.

Like, try it out.

Yeah.

But then the voiceover comes in and he's like, you're probably wondering how I got in such a funny and wacky situation right here.

And I wrote my notes by trying bigger shows until one was desperate enough to accept you.

I thought he just meant like being Matt Walsh.

And I was like, okay, so I had a bad experience with a black guy in high school, but I did not go to therapy.

And besides, I, yeah, I was really.

I would love to know how Matt Walsh got here because there's too much like plugging in of microphones for Matt Walsh not to have become self-aware for at least a handful of seconds in his life.

Right, right.

But yeah, but then that's, that's what's going to get us into our culturally appropriative credits.

And they land us on Matt at a diner thinking to himself, Well, you know, I've been white my whole life and I've never thought much about race.

And I'm like, that is the most privileged possible goddamn fucking thing that you could say.

Yeah.

He does the internal monologue, I would write for a racist.

Yes.

Right.

He literally goes, Race never mattered.

I mean, you noticed when someone was black, you'd be like, black.

Yeah.

But

not racistly.

No, no, look, like his argument here and the main argument of the film is that he doesn't encounter racism very much, so it doesn't exist very much.

Now, of course, we will go through the entire movie watching him la la la.

I can't hear you people who are trying to explain to him the racism he encounters every day.

But he doesn't see like people screaming the N-word very much, and therefore there is no racism.

Sure.

But just for extra context about the question of the movie, this little scene starts with a little montage of Black Lives Matter protest signs in evil sepia tone as like a pop scare.

Right.

Then he's in the diner and he's like, I grew up in the 90s.

We didn't really worry about racism.

The races are black, white, Mexican.

You knew people were, but it didn't matter.

And then he's like, am I a racist?

And I was like, already yes.

Wow.

You're going to close the movie, please?

You did six really good sentences proving that you are.

Yeah, no, and the thing with the land acknowledgement at the beginning.

But then he's like, he's got to order his coffee and he's nervous to order it black from this African-American waitress because race relations are so complicated.

Okay, this one, I actually was like, yeah, I've had this thought of like,

what's plain?

I like it plain.

Normal.

Normal, regular.

No, wait.

Better.

I like it better.

I like whatever coffee you

should get.

Whatever you want to give me is cool.

But then he fucks it up again.

And he's like, I don't like my coffee miscegenated with cream.

And he's like, you actually hear me like, fuck, hold on.

No, that okay.

He said miscegenated with cream.

Am I racist?

And I was like, Ibid, you're done.

You're done with it.

Why are you being racist?

You obviously are racist.

Well, and so then he's like, am I racist?

So he decides to go talk with his first talking head.

This is Kate Slater.

She is an expert in anti-racism.

She's white.

And he makes a big joke about, ah, she's white and she's an expert in racism.

I'm like, yeah, man, because she like listens to people who tell her about things like you will actively try not to do throughout this film, you know?

Also, you're making, you're a white guy making a movie called, Am I Racist?

Right.

Just Matt sitting with his arms crossed at the back of SeaWorld.

This motherfucker's not even a dolphin.

What the fuck is he doing?

Let the dolphins speak for themselves.

Am I crazy?

Am I racist?

And this is where we'll get,

well, I guess we'll really start Heath's best words, right?

Because he's asking her all these, like, what is racism and what is putting in the work for anti-racism.

And she just keeps giving these really good answers.

The whole movie is just him asking questions, people giving a good answer, and him being like, ha, ha, dumb.

Cut.

Yeah, right.

No, he goes like at one point, like, this is his first attempt at a gotcha.

He's like, when should you start talking to your kids about racism?

And she's like, before they can even talk.

And again, this is the correct answer.

When should you start trying to combat racism?

Well, it's everywhere.

And so, yeah, it should be before your kids even have language.

You should be trying to, you should be like seeking to introduce them to a diverse group of people and give them books with diverse people.

Yes, that is the right answer.

But he's like, this fucking idiot is going to tell a baby about racism.

You call a baby racist.

You're saying show a series of graphic lynching photos to a baby.

Have that be their first mobile.

That's what I think you're saying.

Yeah.

I'm Matt Walsh.

Can a baby be racist?

I'm Ted Cruz.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, exactly.

And then we get his Moana problem.

Oh, God, this is so good.

Yeah, right.

Cause she's like answering his question really well.

And she's like, yeah, well, you know, I noticed that my daughter, even before she had language, would gravitate towards white princesses more than the more diverse princesses in the Disney lineup.

So I tried to like kind of make sure she also had.

heroes of color.

And he's like, right, but what about when your kids want to dress up with as a mus for Halloween?

Now it's cultural appropriation.

And he seems to think that there's a catch-22 that he's created here.

I can't dress like everything I like.

Sounds like bullshit to me.

Right.

Like, he can't imagine like dressing as Michael Jordan without the black face, right?

Yeah.

And look, have we had that argument backstage at a bunch of live shows?

Yes, but Noah and Heath won those arguments.

And that's what's important.

Did somebody at my all-white middle school dress up in brown makeup to be Michael Jordan during the 90s?

Yes.

Yes.

That's how I did it.

I would say anything about it.

Anybody at the school, any of the the adults in charge?

No, not a word.

Was that Perthen he then wrote?

He won the contest for best cut.

Oh, my God.

So,

yeah, but Dr.

Slater explains that there's nuance when it comes to racism in this movie.

He's like, that's how you know she's full of shit.

Nuance.

And he keeps coming back to this thing of like, what does do the work mean?

And he just keeps saying it so much that she's like, I mean, you could read some books, man.

And I realized that this movie's response to you could read some books about the things you don't know is no

yeah that's dumb shan we we go to a fucking bookstore afterwards to make fun of these idiots with all their words and on paper and shit yeah he's anti bookstore books yeah look here's the thing people like I get that there are a series of bad brain chemicals and bad growing up life experiences that put you in a position to be conservative.

We hear from listeners who are ex-conservative all the time.

We hear from listeners who were born and raised with terrible ideas.

But when you are making a movie about how bookstores are bullshit, a certain percentage of you must become self-aware.

And you would think.

I don't think that's true.

I want that to have to be true, but I don't think it is.

Well, so, and this is where we're going to introduce another of the major themes of the film.

And I would say probably the dominant theme of the film, right?

Because he walks into the bookstore.

He's like, wow, are all these books about anti-racism?

And it's like two shelves worth of books.

And it's just like, yeah, that's so small.

It's just this tiny little thing.

But he's trying to make this point that like anti-racism is big business and they're making a lot of money off of it.

Right.

And, and that's fucking hilarious for a lot of reasons, but mostly because when they cut to the other angle, right?

Like to his angle of the conversation, the books behind him are about how to make a movie.

So, oh,

fantastic.

Yeah, he's in the pet grooming section.

Are pets pets not real?

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

That's just the thing.

There's a lot of money in anything.

Like, like everything, every subject has books about it, man.

Are they all bullshit?

I mean, I think Matt's answer would be yes, but that's a different day.

Well, that's true.

Yeah.

It's for a different day.

And there's this fucking fantastic moment, right?

Again, I will point out that Matt Walsh spends this entire movie trying to gotcha someone and he never does it to the person he wants to do it to.

He will accidentally do it later in the movie, but not to the people he's hoping for.

And so he's got this lovely girl from the bookstore there, and he picks up a book that's title is the N-word.

And he's like, could I say this?

And she's like, no, man, you can't say that.

And he's like, well, then how would I ask for it?

And she's like, come on.

What are you six?

Are you a racist six-year-old?

You know about the word this or

book or hand it to me and I boop it and you pay.

What are you talking about?

And not only is it the dumbest possible question, but she gets it right.

She nails the answer.

like she manages to take him seriously long enough to go well you know you could just say the title is the n-word or you could refer to the author's name and and ask us about it and you know the the the godolpha movies guys have not said the name of the book and yet their audience knows what word look at this its name

here's another thing you could do you could uh leave the store because you're faking and you're not going to read this book right yes how about that And she gives him some suggestions.

She's like, well, here are some books by diverse authors.

And he goes, what makes an author diverse and and again thinks he's got a gotcha there but it's like nothing man a group can be diverse yeah she actually explains again perfectly she's like oh like racially diverse it means not white in america because you know the majority is white because the word because the word and what that word means

would be diverse again because of the word because what words mean because if i have four pears and one apple the apple is diverse and he's like so apples aren't diverse and she's like i feel like you don't know how anything works i feel like you're matt walsh making a movie right well so and and then we get the so i i have a fan theory here right because you see her she's walking out she's got this big ass stack of books right and then you see him walking away with just white fragility yes which by the way is an amazing book so and and he's like in different clothes when he's walking away with just that book so what happened is is that like in his imagination he was gonna review like interview the author of a number of books about this subject and make them all look dumb but the only one he managed to get was the chick who wrote white fragility.

Everybody else was like, no, you're clearly Matt Walsh making a fucking movie or whatever.

And so he acts like that's the only one he ever bought from that point on.

Yeah.

I like to think that he was just too cheap, right?

Because we walked into the big stack and I think she got up there and she was like, great, $437.

And he was like,

which is the shortest?

Which of these is the shortest?

Because no offense to white fragility, like I said, great book, but it's 192 pages long, right?

Six fucking hours on audio.

It's meant for white people to read.

Yeah, right.

It's meant for Matt Walsh to read.

It's this tiny ass little book that would not take Matt Walsh long to read and internalize.

And yet he doesn't.

Yeah.

So, okay.

But then we watch him pretend to read.

We watch him like imagine a little character running across the top of the letters or whatever it is that he's doing.

Oh my god.

It's so funny.

It's just a bunch of really great quotes from the book that Matt Walsh think are nonsense, but are just great quotes from the book.

At one point, he reads her quote, like anger, fear, and guilt are compensating for white supremacy.

And it's, it's literally this movie.

She's describing this movie.

Right.

She might as well say, and sometimes you make a whole movie where you pretend to not understand very basic concepts about other people's lived experience, just so you don't have to think about your privilege.

Holy shit.

Robin DiAngelo is stepping out of the page.

How did you do that?

One of the quotes, and this is such a good quote, she says, whiteness only exists in relation to white supremacy.

And that's true, right?

That's supposed to sound scary, but it's a demonstrable historical fact.

The idea of being white was created alongside the idea of white being the supreme race.

There's no way to separate those two things.

And that very fact is the one that he's going to spend the entire movie running from.

His unwillingness to acknowledge the context of that quote is the movie.

So, but then we watch him go to an anti-racist support group.

Right.

Well, it's a workshop.

Sure.

Right.

He hired this lady to give a workshop.

Right.

And he was going to show up as Matt Walsh and ask a bunch of gotcha questions and get her.

Right.

Now, first he has to explain that she charged $30,000 to run this workshop.

So, you know, a lot of money in it.

Oh, so he does this every time.

I'm so happy.

Every time he puts the money up, I'm like, nice.

He spent money on this.

He's so funny.

Cause every time I'm so happy.

Like, oh, look, I'm sorry that everyone involved had an unpleasant experience.

We'll talk about it in a second.

But like, every time he puts up a big amount of money, I'm like, Matt Walsh paid someone $30,000 to call him a douchebag.

I've got so much money on Carradid 9-11 every year.

But like,

look, physics professors get paid to talk about physics, right?

Like, Neil deGrasse Tyson gets a lot of money when he goes and does a talk.

Does that mean physics is a scam?

I'm sure Matt Walsh is going to do a movie about how physics is a scam.

I know I'm going to go.

Or put it in the ether, man.

Yeah, I know you're right.

Similes and meta.

Also, Neil deGrasse Tyson's black.

So that's a two-for-check.

When it comes to Matt, yeah.

Yeah.

So we watched this thing start out.

They start with a meditation like a bunch of cucks.

Right.

If they started with a prayer, he would have been all right.

But yeah, no.

Of course.

Yeah.

Also, imagine opening your eyes.

You go to an anti-racist workshop at your local, whatever.

Imagine opening your eyes and Matt Walsh's thing.

Right.

And at the beginning of this, he's like, I'm going to use a fake name because, you know, I'm fucking famous.

Everybody would be like, oh, it's Matt Walsh.

And he wears a COVID mask as he comes in.

So I was like, oh, he's going undercover.

Okay.

He walks in with the mask, but then he immediately takes off the mask because he's a fucking weirdo who can't wear a mask and he fucks up his whole thing.

Well, also, I think he desperately wants to be recognized every chance that he has for that.

But yeah.

Oh, right.

Cause he thinks he's winning even when this happens.

He's right.

Yeah.

He put it in his own stupid fucking movie.

So yeah, so.

But okay, so here's the other thing, too, that you have to understand about this movie is that Matt Walsh is really bad at comedy.

So he keeps going into these situations.

And like if we were going into this situation, we would be like, okay, so here's three bits that I'm going to do, each one escalating.

And so like it'll get increasingly ridiculous.

He doesn't have anything.

So he just keeps interrupting while everyone else is talking, thinking that's comedy.

Yeah.

Right.

And it's, again, like the subject of the bit always ends up being him because no one else is behaving in a way that's ridiculous or mockable, right?

They're just speaking normally and giving good answers to questions.

So he has to be like, I shat myself while they're talking.

Right.

And be like, that's a comedy movie, right?

At one point, he'll interrupt them by just dropping shit.

Not in this way.

It's a later scene, but yeah.

Yeah, because he's got fucking nothing.

You just said my wife again for the third time.

That's annoying.

Sit back down.

Also, I have to point this out because the introduction, they show very clearly this speaker at this workshop who is a black woman say that she's not safe in all white spaces.

And they show that a bunch of times because isn't it crazy that she would say she's not safe in all white spaces but

but she's actively being targeted by a white supremacist documentary right right you're proving her point by being there she's not safe right you making you're you tricked her to come to a place to make exactly she can't

degrade her she can't even do a workshop about trying to help people better themselves without you spending tens of thousands of dollars to make fun of her for it it.

Yeah.

My God.

She just waves her arm and one camera points at another camera and it's like, see, this is what I'm talking about.

Right.

Matt Walsh, if you said, I don't want to go on god-awful movies because that's not a safe space for me, we would understand and stop asking.

Right.

We'd be like, oh, yeah, no, we are going to talk about what your face looks like under your beard.

So I can understand why you wouldn't want to do that, man.

Well, and look, this is the, because he just starts interrupting when other people are talking.

And this lady has clearly dealt with asshole and privileged white white guys like him before.

She has a bit that she does for this.

She's like very clearly scripted out these lines and everything.

Again, proving the points he's trying to make is incorrect.

But then like the equivalent, like the, on our side of this, would be like, if we did a movie where like Eli just goes to a Bible study and starts jerking off in the middle of it, right?

Okay, but don't use a super funny example, Noah.

Use an example of super funny funny.

Well, yours would be funny.

No, that's true.

That would be, yeah, right.

At least.

And then the person running the thing is like, you're Eli Bosnik, the famous podcaster masturbating now thank you right i love this i love this part of the podcast i lost the backtrack a little bit but i'm loving it i'm

yeah right so and of course so in these types of workshops very often they'll have a room to go to if you're emotionally overwhelmed or if you just feel like you need to get out of the room or whatever and so he goes into that room pretending that he's overcome or being overcome maybe he's just really sad because he thought improvisational comedy would be easier or whatever but he he goes to the other room right yes and i'm gonna going to come back.

I'm going to come back.

I'll come back when I'm not yet.

I'll come back, right?

But while he's not there, right, they're not going to film.

So they like take a break.

And that's when they figure out that he's Matt Walsh.

We literally watched someone Google him and be like, that's Matt Walsh, the douchebag.

Yeah.

The woman running the thing was already like, this is, I know this is Matt Walsh.

As soon as he leaves, I'm going to explain to everybody.

Well, right.

Like she was very clearly like, she's like, I get what you're fucking doing here.

And I'm going to give you two more chances to listen to more of what I have to say before I kick you out.

But yes.

Yeah.

But yeah, so he comes back in.

They've already figured out who he is.

Nobody wants to sit next to him.

And I guess that's probably something Matt Walsh is used to.

Used to.

Sure.

You know what bothered me in this moment?

What's up?

I look too much like Matt Walsh.

And I don't a lot, but it's too much.

I don't think

a little bit.

And genuinely, all I'm talking about is white guy.

And he had, I think, the same pair of shoes that I have.

And I was so fucking mad.

You got to burn those shoes, man.

You got to burn those shoes.

Yep.

And so, but he comes back out and they all confront him and they're like, hey, you know, you're just doing a video thing to make fun of us and everything.

Can you leave?

And they're incredibly polite.

Like, he deserves to be punched in the face, right?

Like, they're so funny.

There's this fucking incredible moment.

Can I talk about the guy who offers to walk him out?

Yeah, yeah.

Because it makes me so happy, right?

Because he's obviously a threat in the room.

They don't know what the fuck he's going to do, right?

He's created a fucking fake documentary, right?

He could try and splash them all with Nickelodeon ooze for they know.

And so the white guy, the person of most privilege in the room, puts his body in front of Matt Walsh, extends his hand for a handshake, and says, I'd like to offer to walk you out, which is an excellent way to keep the people around you safe without being threatening.

And Matt Walsh, who is a chicken shit little baby boy, goes, I do not consent to be touched.

No.

Do you know how much money you would have to pay me to film me saying, I do not consent to be judged,

and then showing it to the world so that your army of bodyguards can come defend you from an anti-racist speaker group?

Do you know the millions of dollars you'd have to pour into my checking account every week at the exact same time for me to allow such a disgraceful moment of cocklie to appear before the American public?

Oh my fucking God.

And then and then like they call the cops on him.

They show him outside being talked to by the police.

And he goes in voiceover, he goes, my mere presence had so disturbed them that they called the police.

And I'm like, no, you interrupted them and acted like an asshole and kept preventing them from doing the group that they wanted to do.

And then you wouldn't leave the room when they asked you to, ma'am.

Yes.

The unauthorized film crew, once they figured out what you're doing, the privacy fraud for a support group, it feels like a whole bunch of cop stuff is pretty legitimate right there.

Yes, Yes, absolutely.

But this is, but of course, the VO is there to explain that he's going to need a disguise from this point.

And he's going to try to look like the liberal cuff from What is a Woman?

The other movie.

Do you remember my other movie?

He lost.

Okay, think about this.

He lost a debate so hard in his last movie that he's dressing up as that person in this movie as a gotcha.

Yep.

All right.

Well, I need a room to step off and cry in as well.

So we're going to take another quick break, but we'll be back in a minute with even more of, am I racist?

Yes.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, podcast listener.

I'm No Illusions.

I'm Heath Henright.

And I'm Eli Bosnick.

But if we're being honest, this part of the show isn't for you.

No, it's not.

This part of the show is for Matt Walsh.

Hey, Matt.

How's it going?

Hey, your face.

Heath, what did we say when we were talking?

You hadn't started yet.

It doesn't count.

I'm allowed to do it.

Okay, well, now I am starting.

Okay, I'm starting it.

So start then.

Right.

So, hi, Matt.

We know you're listening because this is about you.

And we here at Puzzle in a Thunderstorm would love, and I do mean love, for you to go to therapy.

Not whatever Christian version of it you do right now.

We'd like you to see a licensed and qualified mental health professional, not on camera, not as a bit.

We just want you to get help.

Yeah.

And whether or not you're in as much terrible psychic pain as Matt Walsh is, if you're considering therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Plus, if you're not a millionaire who made his money pretending to have bad opinions, they have financial aid available.

Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com/slash awful today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp, h-e-l-p.com/slash awful.

Better help.

We don't want Matt Walsh to feel better, better, but we do want him to be better.

He what?

It's true.

Yeah, no, that is true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, editor, guys.

Hey, Matt Walsh.

How's it going?

Fantastic.

So how's editing my super funny Borat movie going?

Yeah, about that.

So, Matt,

do you know what made Borat funny?

My wife.

Nope.

Nope.

It wasn't that.

It's that the character of Borat was used to expose people's hypocrisy, right?

Like Sasha Baron Cohen would pretend not to know about people's beliefs, and then in attempting to explain them, you know, people would embarrass themselves.

Yeah, just like I did.

Nope.

Nope.

What you did is ask people to explain and then they did.

And then you repeated it back, but just obviously incorrectly.

You see how that's different, right?

No, I do not see that.

Okay, but well, because the person who didn't know what they were talking about

is you,

right?

The joke is on you, man.

You are the person who doesn't get it in your movie.

Oh,

I see.

Yeah.

So do you want to like recut it or edit or what do you want to do?

Oh, no, it shouldn't be a problem because, you know, the people watching the movie don't get that they don't get it.

So my not getting it is just them.

They're going to love it.

They're going to love it.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, big time.

Oh, okay.

Well, do you want us to keep the very real moments where you, Matt Walsh, literally burst into tears?

Oh, yes, please.

It's kind of a note I'm leaving for people.

Sure.

All right.

Yeah, I mean, we'll keep the crying.

Keep the crying.

Yeah.

Got it.

Oh, I hope you're right.

I hope I'm right.

Yeah, we're back for more of this shit.

We're going to rejoin the action with a montage of him pretending to try to be less of an asshole.

Yeah, and they're playing a pro-racism rap.

What the fuck?

Over the montage.

What is that?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

This is the same rapper.

Look, I don't know this, but I believe it in my heart.

This is the same rapper who did the facts, don't care about your feelings rap.

I'm guessing this is one of his B-sides.

Probably, yeah.

Uh-huh.

But yeah, so this is where he's going to earn his DEI certification.

And now he's going to pretend for the rest of the movie like that's nothing and it's just completely meaningless.

But that's only because he actively refused to pay attention in the class like the the lady who gave it to him gave him like clearly a very like detailed lecture and probably multiple ones right yeah and probably had answers for all of the questions that he asks and then we don't see her answer to right Right.

Well, yes, because she's like, at one point, she's explaining something to him.

He's like, well, wait a minute.

Didn't Martin Luther King say we should judge a person not by the color of the skin, but the content of the character?

And he, and of course, he's trying to make the colorblind argument, which he's going to make over and over again in the movie.

And she's like, yes, he did.

It turns out that we have learned more than nothing since 1963, as it turns out.

Yeah.

Every single thing.

Let me explain a little bit of the nuance cut.

Yep.

That's what happened.

That's the whole movie.

Well, yeah, except that a lot of the times he doesn't realize when the nuance is getting in there because he's so fucking stupid.

And so they actually do answer his stupid questions

as often as they can.

Yeah.

The whiteboard answers some of his questions.

They show this whiteboard that's full of all the things that she's talked about and answers to his questions and if you know about this stuff you can kind of see the questions he's asked and see how she answered them for him and he shows none of it in the movie right but it's just like him losing it hangman and tic-tac-toe is a solved game and no you can't touch my hair written all over the board

nuance that's you you said like that so why's it got to be a whiteboard it's so stupid

yes yeah that we can all agree and i do believe yeah so but he gets his dei certification so then we get him walking down the street and just turning to people saying uh dei certified if you need any help with that and that's funny once so he does it 11 fucking times yeah that's a rule of 11s and then he tries to do some man on the streeting with people uh-huh right and for the most part people give him relatively good answers to their questions or they're just sort of awkwardly chuckling because he asks nonsense questions except for the trio of white boys who get exactly as offended by him as

he is offended by the thing.

It's fucking, it's an Ouroboros of idiocy, right?

Because he's pretending to be what he thinks DEI is.

And these white boys get offended by that.

But it's just white people being wrong in all the directions.

There's nobody.

They're supposed to be the voice of reason here, according to him.

That's the thing.

Three white guys wearing fucking tilted visors and Ed Hardy shirts giving a speech about racism on the street is the voice of reason yeah and right they're like don't talk about it yeah their claim is thinking about race is racist so you're racist right acknowledging a person's race is racist that's the dumbest thinking about oncology is murdering people with tumors same thing you ever noticed that you ever noticed that everyone who dies of cancer sees an oncologist

well and and think about what's actually happening right because he's going out there and presenting our argument intentionally, incorrectly, and stupidly, and then having someone argue back and win, right?

That's his end goal.

And this is the best he could get were these three racist assholes.

God, it's fantastic.

So, and oh, and then I think probably he loses the movie harder than he'll ever lose it again.

So, there's this viral video, and I've never heard of it because I don't watch Fox News and freak out about this dumb shit.

But it's a viral video where some african-american girl in a college yelled at some white guys for invading a multicultural space right for very purposefully sitting in a multicultural space wearing back the blue and blue lives matter merchandise okay i didn't realize that but yeah that the yeah right like intentionally edging their way into a space they're unwelcome in that was set aside for people who weren't to them right and she is hysterically yelling at them in the tiny piece of the contextless clip that he shows us.

And he's going to interview that girl now.

And she is so fucking articulate and knowledgeable.

And she has such good answers to literally everything he finds.

Oh my God.

It's pretty fun.

Okay.

I have to talk about this thing that she talks about that makes me so happy.

So she's bringing up the Jungian shadow self, right?

Which is something that gets brought up in race theory a lot.

He lost me.

And he thinks she means

interdimensional doppelgangers.

Yes, he does.

Yep.

Right.

Sure the fuck does.

So what Young talks about, and I'm sure this young lady explained it to him and Matt Walsh was just, you know, crying or vomiting slowly into his beard or something.

So we don't see her do it.

But what Jung talks about is he talks about there are parts of ourselves that we like kind of ignore so that we can continue to think of ourselves as a good person.

All of his follow-up questions about the shadow self will be like, but what if I get the shadow self to say my name backwards?

Does it then absorb back into the Solgoth dimension?

Split in half.

What if Shadow Self is bottom half, just legs?

That doesn't even make sense.

Yeah, right, right.

But and also, we should point out that he says, like, you know, she didn't want to talk to me, but for money, she did.

And I'm like, yeah, that's how we know plumbing is bullshit too, man.

That's right.

It must be why you're giving away this movie for free to prove that it's real.

And is agreeing to appear on our podcast for free, right, Matt?

No, he's not welcome.

We don't actually want you on our podcast.

So you're not welcome.

I've hit you in my car.

Yeah.

Concentrally.

Is it legal if I say concentrally?

It is legal.

It is.

It is legal to offer.

Yeah.

It's an offer to hit somebody with your car.

Yeah.

Can I smash?

If you're listening, you are welcome on this podcast.

I have a studio in Ann Arbor.

You should definitely come.

You should come into it.

It's not my garage.

I did not have a saw scenario set up in my garage.

It's normal.

Just come down.

Who said that?

Please.

I'm so excited that I make labyrinths as a hobby.

Yeah, it's all.

It's a normal face bear trap.

Again.

But again, you know,

he asks her, like, is racism inherent to whiteness?

And he thinks that's a gotcha question because like he refuses to understand her answer.

But the answer is yes.

And there is a really good reason why it's yes if you shut the fuck up and let somebody tell it to you, right?

Right, which is because, again, racism in Matt's mind means hating another person because of the color of their skin.

Right.

Right.

So the question he thinks he's asking is, do all white people hate people with different colored skin than them?

And the answer to that question is probably not.

Yes.

Right.

But that's not what racism is.

And that's not what whiteness is.

So you only have to misunderstand two of the four words in that sentence.

Great example of racism, willfully ignoring somebody explaining how race works historically.

Yeah, there you go.

And doing a movie about it.

Well, so, and look, we should probably acknowledge that in a sense, the conversation about race often gets caught up on the fact that the word racism is trying to do too much work, right?

Because so many white people, especially older white people, think of racism as standing on the street corner screaming the N-word at a black girl trying to go to school, right?

And that's what they think they're being called when you say, man, that was a really racist thing to say.

I didn't go down to the corner.

Right, exactly, exactly.

I just yelled it from the window.

Right.

And as Robin DiAngelo has pointed out, right, the way that white people sort of get over the generational divide between pre-civil rights white people who still exist and are still alive and were the parents of those people and post-civil rights white people is they defined racism only as

pre-civil rights racism Right, exactly, right, right.

And that's why the guy, like, yeah, no, it's not an inherent, the problem isn't inherent to the conversation.

The problem is a product of white people trying to narrow down the definition of racism so that it doesn't encapsulate them.

Yes, exactly.

And again, that's what this woman is answering to him over and over again.

And even just showing like 11 words of her answer is too much.

And she nails it.

Sorry, I know this is comedy murder here that I'm doing, but we have to at least acknowledge that.

Just for your uncle's next Facebook post, we give all sorts of kinds here.

Yeah.

If you're bored, imagine Matt trying to get out of a very basic saw trap.

You know, that'll help carry you through the explanation parts of the review, everybody.

For normal bears, taste it.

So, okay.

Then we get the dumbass montage where they have their petition to change the name of the George Washington Monument to the George Floyd Monument.

And everyone's saying, yes, we should do that.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like, that sounds like a great idea.

Sure.

Not have it named after the slave owner guy.

But, and this movie actually is funny once when they say we're going to paint it black and make it 30% bigger.

That's funny.

That's great.

That actually was a good joke.

The only time in the movie where he nails it.

Single joke.

But what about the person who gives the correct answer, which is that that is ridiculous and you shouldn't do it?

What's the silliest possible human we could get?

He's literally a biker with the Punisher skull on his symbol.

Yep.

On his shirt.

Yep.

A guy who bought his entire outfit at a truck stop represents...

No, imagine making a whole fucking movie to emphasize that you're on the same side as those assholes.

As the person Bruce Willis beats up at the beginning of the movie to prove that he's a badass.

Jesus Christ.

And then we go to,

he infiltrates this race to dinner meetup.

Regina Jackson and Sarah Rowe.

Okay, I'm trying to think of a metaphor of like who you could try to make seem menacing in our movement.

It's like if it would be like if you only showed Jeff Blackwell in sepia toast

and we're like, Jeff Blackwell, lawyer for American atheists.

And it's just him eating a hoagie being like, do you guys want a bite?

Like that's the level

of insane it is

to try to make race to dinner scary.

He sells race to dinner, which by the way, are usually free events.

Like people pay for them.

They're often put on by like communities and stuff, but they're usually free events so that people can like address their own privilege and ask the questions that Matt Walsh pretends he wants to ask.

Right.

Right.

Like they're the sweetest, best, most comfortable form of out.

It's literally free dinner.

They give you a free dinner to learn.

You know that thing there's no such thing as?

Yeah, it's that.

Right.

So, well, okay.

And also, like, he starts off by going, like, well, I can't get in because that's only for white women.

And I'm like, oh, my God, he's going to pretend to be dressing.

He didn't.

He didn't.

They had a fight about it in the room.

They had a fight about it.

And he started beating himself up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But he does manage to infiltrate as a waiter.

So his entire bit is going to be them trying to do this anti-racism outreach and him fucking it up by being a bad waiter.

Right.

But it doesn't work because him being a bad waiter doesn't change the quality of their arguments.

Yep.

In any way.

Yes, exactly.

And so they just make really good points over and over again while he tries to give people too much butter or spills the water.

I fell in the wall.

I dropped something.

Seriously, race to dinner should be required as a program before you're allowed to vote.

Like that should be a rule, like a law.

It looked like an amazing thing.

As I was watching it, I was like, oh, that's probably a really, really useful because they're a lot of conversation.

You know, because they're showing all of these clips and

they're taking all the nuance out of it.

But there's several points where these women are sort of just berating these women for their whiteness in a way that like...

I think white people should fucking experience, right?

Like so that you have at least some fucking clue what it's like to be judged by your goddamn race.

And it's a volunteer thing, right?

It's like not like they're walking out there and yelling at random people like this.

That would be like the people that

out and yell at random people.

Agrees with each other.

White people should get yelled at by people who have better ideas than them.

That's good.

And also like people aren't having a bad time there.

You see there everyone is there to learn.

Everyone is interested.

Everyone is there.

Except Matt Walsh.

Except Matt Walsh.

And he is compensating for the things he's hearing by literally throwing dishes around the room.

He doesn't.

He's just dropping stuff.

That's it.

At one point, he drops a big pile of plates and frightens everybody, right?

Because it sounds like a gunshot.

And like there's just this group of middle-aged women like grabbing and clutching at their chests and I'm like is this am I supposed to be laughing at this satire yeah it was supposed to be a joke because dropping stuff is a joke I don't know but here's the thing Matt Walsh does need an infomercial about the like Race-O-Manic get this racist device or whatever.

He does.

So here's the Race to Dinner is not the thing that Matt Walsh is afraid it is, but I wish wish it was that I want him to go there.

Yes.

Right.

Yeah.

Race to dinner is a relatively gentle conversation while you get a free meal with two educators who are prepared to help you confront hard truths.

No, I want to beat it.

If it was clockwork orange taste.

Yeah, if it was clockwork, you'd beat me exactly to it.

I go clockwork orange slices.

I wish it was and it's not.

Yeah.

Well, and what's amazing, too, is like at this point, of course, all of the women who are attending the race to dinner are turning to them going like, hey, is he like some right-wing jackass making a mockumentary about this or something you know like they they they call him out almost immediately he gets caught i would say nine out of ten of the boratsy attempts someone's like hey man you seem like a right-winger trying to do satire but a quality of humor is empathy and you don't have any so is that what it is and he's like no no why does he keep putting it empathy in the movie i dropped this yeah so but he does that and then he like raises a toast to racism before he leaves to make fun of him.

But now we're going to go, we're going to hear from some everyday Americans.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, okay.

There's no,

I could not have forced him at gunpoint to choose a group of people to represent his viewpoint more cruel to his viewpoint.

They went to the bar to literally the music cue I do for our co-host Lucinda Lusions that Noah cuts out of the show.

They do the banjo stuff.

Yeah, they do.

And they go to a biker bar filled with Confederate flags.

It's crazy.

He's like, all right, so I want to learn about not being racist.

I'm going to go to White America.

That's his first, first thing he does.

You walk into a biker bar, giant Confederate flag.

Your movie, again, called, Am I Racist, now has the N-word and multiple Confederate flags in it i think yeah decent clue about the answer to the question man

yeah so and then he's talking to what he seems to think are every man guys like these are klansmen right and and they're all going like well i don't think uh racist racism is a big problem in this country and i'm like you're drinking underneath a confederate flag yeah the best they muster is the colorblind argument which is i'll treat you good you treat me good and by the way that's how they sound like eli is exaggerating, or not.

I don't even know if it's exaggerating.

Yeah, exactly.

That is how they, the guy is so inaudible that they start giving him subtitles eventually.

Yeah.

Nematoad is my favorite person, and I want him to be a full-time.

You know how Tucker Carlson got fired?

They should just put Nematoad in.

He's like, I don't know about that.

The subtitles were just like banjo, banjo, banjo.

I don't know what he's saying.

We should, we should point out, too, that he goes to this bar at like 2:30 in the afternoon.

These these are people who are shit face drunk at a racism themed bar at 2 30 in the afternoon and he's like everyday americans see i feel like that's actually fair right you think you guys have a better uh grip on racism than all the experts on that topic and they're like

and he's like yep I'm gonna put you on the TV and show you to America.

What about systemic racism?

What's that S word?

I want to be clear that when Noah said these are Klansmen, one of the people in this interview literally says, my dad and my grandfather

were Klansmen, but it never affected me.

Yep.

Those are words.

One of the guys who's talking about how racist he isn't in explaining how racist he isn't says, quote, I think you should have pride in being white too, end quote.

Yeah.

Also, at one point, because they only have one lady and she's not allowed to talk because it's a Daily Wire wire movie, at one point he says systematic.

She goes, what's systematic?

And you watch everyone at the bar be like, I wouldn't be here if I knew

Kelsey with a GH.

So, and but they explain how they have some of their best friends are black.

Literally, like one of them has a whole, I have some of my best friends are black conversation here.

And the voiceover goes, well, I don't know.

I just don't understand it.

These people are all supposed to be racist.

And I'm like, what?

The people who are saying racist things at the racism-themed bar they're drinking at were supposed to be racist?

Okay, so many times as I was watching this, I had the voice of Ron Howard come in.

It's like, some of my best friends are black people.

They're not.

Some of us

were not.

He is.

He is racist.

So then, okay, then he goes to the rural South to find any single black guy who will agree with the premise of this movie, right?

And like like at one point we're talking, he's talking to this very clearly undereducated man with no employment prospects next to his dilapidated housing.

And he's saying, well, yeah, no, I'm unaffected by racism personally, though.

Me, I don't, you know.

Yes.

He finds that guy and he finds a guy who quite literally does not speak good enough English to disagree with him.

So, okay, so we're talking about the generational effects of American racism.

And to refute that, he goes to a first-generation immigrant.

Yeah.

Take all the time with that that you need.

Right.

And he's like, hey, has anyone ever been racist to you?

And he's like, no.

And he's like, perfect.

Well, I think that's answered.

And he's like, what about what it says in all these books?

And he goes, oh, I don't read books.

And it's like, oh.

And that's it.

We're done.

I did this space.

He says, I just read the Bible.

I have it in my car.

And Matt Walsh is like, yes.

You refute Robin D'Angelo.

Yes, right, right.

All of these experts, the lady that had a Ph.D.

goddamn fucking D in the the exact subject that your movie is about, you just refuted him with the guy who'd never read a book that wasn't the Bible.

Well done, man.

But they're both black, so it's a tiebreaker.

It's a tie.

Yeah, right, right.

And he has the racist guy at the racism bar saying he's not racist, so he wins the tie.

That's the tiebreaker.

Exactly.

And then he obsesses over this viral video of a Disney mascot not shaking the hands of two black kids

in a thing.

I guess this is another thing that the Fox News viewers got themselves worked up about.

The Daily Wire viewers know about.

This is such a very obvious thing.

There were two little girls who were at Sesame World or whatever, and the person in the costume very clearly ignores them.

You see it in the fucking movie, and the mom was like, hey, that sucked.

And Sesame World was like, hey, I'm really sorry that happened to you.

And he's like, how do you know?

That was racist.

Well, okay, so I think the argument that they try, that the racists try to make in defense of the person in the mascot costume is they didn't see the little kids, right?

Because the eyes on those things are very high up and sometimes you can't see what's right below you.

And that's true.

I've been in those costumes.

I've been a mascot in those costumes before.

I can't come if I'm not in one of those costumes.

Exactly.

Well, right, that's why.

So, but here's the thing, though.

Your job.

I can't come if Eli's not in one of those things.

Exactly.

But the thing is, is that when you're in those things, your job is to notice little kids, right?

And we can see in the video that the person in the costume, the mascot costume, does a sweep and sees what's below, right?

So even their dumbass excuse doesn't add up.

Anyway, and also, by the way, if they were right, if they were right in that the mascot genuinely just didn't see those two kids, the answer here should be, wow, we have so abused this segment of our society that the simplest explanation they could come up with in this moment was racism.

Right.

Right.

That should be your takeaway from that, is that this woman has been beaten down by racism so much in her life that that was her go-to explanation, even if it was wrong.

Yes.

So, and he goes like, you know, she didn't want to talk to me, but she was willing to tell her story for money.

And then they have like a cha-ching sound, you know, and I'm like, dude, the fact that no one will talk to you without thousands of dollars in compensation is not the burn on them that you think it is.

Exactly.

It's because you can't come unless you're in a master class.

costume.

I've been there, Matt.

What I'm saying is, you and I are the same, Matt.

Give us a call.

Come be in the bear trap.

All right.

Well, it's rare that we earned a break as much as we did during this fucking movie.

So we're going to take another one.

But first, let me give Act Three the hard sell.

Why isn't there a White History Month?

How can it be racist if I said they're good at dancing?

Where's a twisted T when you need one?

Find out the answers to these questions when we return for the racist conclusion of, Am I racist?

Hey, podcast listener.

You know, we usually like to do little skits or bits when we talk about our advertisers, but occasionally it's good to just step in front of the curtain and let you know that we really do use and enjoy these products, which is why I want to tell you about Factor.

You know, Heath was actually a Factor customer before they were a sponsor.

That's true.

Yeah, I was.

Heath, I'm doing a story.

What?

I was yes-handing.

Well, you're interrupting is what you're doing.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I would throw you all the way off track with four words.

Please, may I tell myself?

Go ahead.

Do your thing.

Anyways,

thank you.

Thank you.

Anyway, as some of you know, I recently spent 10 days by myself with my son while Anna headed up to Canada for fiddle camp.

Noah, don't interrupt Eli.

He'll get totally thrown off by that.

I knew that wasn't going to leave a lot of time for meal prep, so I put in an order with Factor.

I don't even know how he's continuing the ad right now.

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One ad.

I asked for one ad.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I interrupt your Richard III monologue?

I was just on mute, but I was smoking a bowl the whole time.

See, smoke a bowl.

I don't smoke anymore.

That's smoke a bowl of mashed potatoes, man.

I don't know what that is.

What does that even mean?

I don't know.

The ad is too long and I feel like the bit got away from us.

I worry people will forget the ads are scripted.

You guys are scripted.

I was really smoking a bowl.

It's true he was.

Method.

And now, back to America's favorite game show.

Is

it

real?

Hello, and welcome to Is It Real, a game show that puts true things about the universe against an idiot's understanding of those things.

I'm your host, Chet Chetley, and my guest tonight is astrophysicist Mark Haskell.

Thanks for having me, Chet.

Yep, yep.

And our contestant tonight, right-wing show, Scott Balls.

Pleasure to be here, Chet.

So why don't you tell us a bit about your work, Mark?

Sure.

Yeah, well, I study the effect gravitational fields have on large objects in space and how we can detect those gravitational fields from millions of miles away.

Fantastic.

Scott?

It sounds fake to me.

There isn't gravity in space.

Everybody knows that.

Nope.

No, there is definitely gravity in space, but sometimes you see less gravity in like movies and TV.

No, I don't think that's it.

That sounds fake to me.

Oh, Mark, you're not doing well.

Have you got anything for us?

Okay, sorry.

The fact that he doesn't understand doesn't make my field of study less real.

I mean, I think it does.

That's fine.

I guess you could think whatever you want, but fields of expertise exist whether or not you believe in them.

Knowledge isn't democratic, especially when that ignorance is very obviously willful.

La la la la!

I can't hear you.

Oh, I'm afraid he can't hear you, Mark.

And that means we're done for today.

This is why half the country votes for Trump.

Sure the fuck is, Mark.

It sure the fuck is.

Thanks for joining us.

And as we always say here on Is It Real, knowing things that other people don't is mean.

See you next week.

And we're back for still more of this shit, and we're going to rejoin Matt.

trying to convince us that hate crimes are just something the news made up to sell more news.

Yeah.

Because one time a hate crime was a hoax ever.

Yep.

That he has.

One time.

And one time maybe a hate crime maybe was a hoax.

Well, like nine goddamn minutes of this movie are going to be dedicated to the Jussie Smollett thing, right?

Yeah.

Or a thousand hate crimes were a hoax.

It doesn't matter.

That's nothing.

Nope.

Because the guy he interviews here, like he's like, hate crimes, that's bullshit.

And then he interviews this guy who's like, well, yeah, no, there are thousands of hate crimes every year in America.

Yes.

The argument made by the anti-hate crime part of the movie is there's just 7,000 hate crimes a year.

Yeah.

Why?

That's not even one an hour quite.

Just

also, Jussie Smollett was lying.

Okay.

Like what?

Right.

I have one note for Jussie.

Don't get caught.

He does a terrible job of not getting caught that you did.

Also, by the way, I looked this up.

I couldn't find any source that agreed with that 7,000 number.

The number I was finding was closer to 14,000.

So, but regardless, like 7,000, like, you know, like,

you know, that's what, a third as many as there are murders?

Are you going to say, well, you know, there's not really that many murders compared to all the millions and millions of thefts.

What are we doing?

You know, what the fuck are we even talking about here?

But yeah, this guy, this is Wilford Riley.

Fun fact, his 2017 book, The $50 Million Dollar Question, an engagingly empirical examination of the relationship between privilege and pride, has a five-star average on Amazon averaged out over all one reviews.

Hey, that's pretty easy to ruin.

Good print.

Oh, no.

And this guy, so he makes this argument.

He's like, oh, you know, it's only 7,000 hate crimes a year compared to the millions and millions of non-hate crimes.

Hate crimes are not even a problem.

He says, you know, if we really wanted to solve problems, maybe the news instead of covering all these hate crimes would cover things like black on black violence and addiction in white neighborhoods.

Hey, everyone, if you ever hear the words black on black violence, they should be the snake rattle of human personalities to you, okay?

No honest person in the history of the world has ever said black on black violence.

Also, is his premise that the fucking news doesn't talk about violent black criminals and addiction in white neighborhoods is that really your fucking premise here yeah jesus watch a news right the funny thing about the black on black violence myth and we could talk about it for another like nine hours so i'll try and keep it short is that it's always white people complaining about how they're not hearing about black on black violence but it's because as a white person you need to hear about white on black violence because that's the violence you are doing.

Yep.

Yeah.

You're not doing black on black violence.

Black people hear a tremendous amount about black on black violence.

It's what a bunch of their community building and community fostering talks about.

You don't hear about it because you're a racist white person who needs to hear about white on black violence.

Well, but also because you're a racist asshole who won't listen to anything if a white person isn't the victim, right?

Like have a black woman and a white woman get kidnapped at the same time and see who gets all the news coverage, right?

Like, that's the other fucking thing.

Like I said, we could do nine hours on this.

I didn't even hear half of what you said just now.

Yeah,

all Heath knows is that a white woman was kidnapped and we need to drop everything right now.

That's what I heard.

Yep, yeah, exactly.

Where was Walking that day?

So, but then we have this moment where we recreate the Jussie Smollett story with Matt Walsh in the movie.

Yeah.

I don't know what the fuck this was supposed to be.

Like, because he goes into it going, you know, they keep saying the world is unsafe for black people, but Jussie Smollett was lying.

So who's, you know, what, where lies the truth?

Who is he arguing with?

I don't know.

Yeah.

Also, like, Matt, do you want me to get out some real stories of hate crimes that black people have gone through in this country?

Yeah.

To like counter yours?

Because it's going to change the rating of your movie, Mike.

Even by your guys' standard, they're 7,000 of them a year.

Like, I mean, come on.

But also,

like, the statistics on life expectancy tell the whole fucking story.

Like, we don't need to go to like anecdotes to prove that it is unsafe to be black in America.

You can just look at the fucking life expectancy statistics.

Jesus.

Yeah.

And again, like, living in the world that we do where there have been so many hate crimes against people of color, right?

Especially when we have like a history built on the brutalization of black people.

I don't want to take us too far from Comedy Town because we got a little bit of to go, but like doing this is really revolting, right?

Yes.

It would be like if one guy had lied about what had happened to him at the Holocaust, something that happened, and then standing outside of Auschwitz and being like, look at me.

I'm Mushi.

I had such a hard time in the Holocaust, you know?

It is, though.

No, it really genuinely is history there

i made it jewish so i could do that voice and it'd stay fun

i think i made good choices matt stop trying to hire sorry matt's texting me to try and hire me for this next movie he's like no that actually was a pretty good he's getting new numbers

do i do i have to pay him if i make that movie now i saw that sketch you made when you were at nyu so

So yeah, so, but now it's time for his big interview that he's been building up for the whole movie.

He's going to interview Robin D'Angelo, the author of white fragility now

let me give you a tldr on this book if you haven't read it it's this entire movie summarized by an act like the it's a woman saying like man you

show a critical race theory to one conservative and they'll make a movie like this right like this movie could be the final chapter of her book the sea i told you so of white fragility honestly and okay now here's the thing right right he has been setting up this whole movie right or at least a part of this movie about this conversation with robin diangelo did you guys fathom before we talk about what actually happens how badly it would go for him i mean based on how badly everything else went for him and his inability to notice it yes at this point in the movie he he has genuinely thought he's been winning this whole time baffling i genuinely thought like oh robin di angelo must slip up or she must be stumped.

Right.

He's building it so hard.

No, but it's a whole scene of him being like, we are not fragile.

I'm white and I'm not fragile.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

No, so let me back up, Eli, because they played this up heavily in the advertisements for the show that he sits down with Robin D'Angelo.

And yes, based on that, I assumed exactly the same thing that you did, right?

That she must, wow, she must really bomb this interview for him to base his entire movie around the fact that he talked to her.

Yeah.

But she like nails every single question to the point where I'm like, my notes are all like, does he think that was a gotcha?

Is Robin D'Angelo in charge of the movie?

Matt, are you okay?

Right.

But truly, if Robin had taken the entire movie crew hostage and been in charge of this interview, this interview makes sense.

Right.

Like starting with the opening question, he goes, like, can a white person be non-racist?

Right.

And the correct answer to that is no, right?

Like for reasons that you'd understand if you actually fucking read white fragility.

But she goes, she's like, well, I think it's probably better if you think about it on a scale.

You can be more or less racist.

And I'm like, what a perfect answer to give to a fragile white man.

Yeah, that's the thing.

He chose an educator on this topic to ask gotcha questions to, but she wrote the book because she has good answers.

to that topic.

Right.

It's why, for instance, Christian apologists don't debate professional atheists, right?

They give speeches because we have practiced the answers to their Christian apologetic bullshit, right?

It's why when Ray Comfort doesn't ask us, are you a good person?

Because we have good answers to that.

He asks stone teenagers.

He fucking, are you a good person?

The fucking best person at answering that question.

Yes.

Possibly on the planet.

Hey, Matt.

This is a bad sign.

You should have got Ray Comfort as a consultant on your strategy.

Bad news.

Just comes back from the Robin DiAngelo interview.

Ah, you embarrassed yourself, mate.

Let me give you a banana.

Take this cucumber and shove it up your ass.

There's only one way to save your reputation, Matt Wolf.

Shove it all the way up your ass.

No handles, Maddie boy.

That'll show him.

We'll get him.

Yeah, no, he asks her at one point, he's like, well, can you opt out of white privilege?

And she goes, well, no, but you could use your privilege to lift people up instead of making movies about how they're right where they belong, for example, would be a way you could go with that.

I won't do that.

And it's just a tiny moment, but I have to talk about it, right?

At one point, he does this with a lot of people.

He pretends to cry,

right?

And he's like, he's pretending to be a liberal cuck.

So he pretends to cry about how hard it is.

And she just...

holds the space for him so nicely with just genuine empathy and like doesn't make him a victim and doesn't laugh at him and doesn't mock him.

And you can tell he's like,

why aren't you going ew?

Right.

You're supposed to go ew.

And she's like, no, you seem to be overwhelmed with emotion and I'm a human being with empathy.

And he's like, no, you're not.

She comes across looking so good in this thing.

It's impossible.

And he says, you know, well, shouldn't I be colorblind?

She gives this great answer.

She's like, no, that's, are you from the 60s?

Because that's a dumb answer.

And here's why.

And of course, they have to like speedily cut lest they get too much nuance there.

Pulls a dish from inside his jacket pocket and smashes it on the ground.

But yeah, so, but he's just losing his movie so badly that he calls in a friend.

He calls in his black friend, Ben.

Oh, Ben.

And he asks her to like apologize to Ben for white supremacy.

Hey, Ben.

Hey, Ben.

It's not worth it, man.

I know.

It's hard out there.

Job community.

I'm from NYU too, Ben.

Like, it sucks, man.

But come on, Ben.

You don't have to.

Come on, Ben.

Is he better than this, Ben?

Come on, Ben.

Don't you see relatives at like family Thanksgivings?

Not anymore, fight you anymore, huh?

Come on, Ben.

Ben.

But also, like, so, but she fucking nails this, though.

She does a really good job.

There's also this good, like, so I guess

I don't recall this from the book, but she talks about like where white people will over smile at black people to try to send this like, I'm one of the good ones message, which comes off as incredibly condescending or whatever.

And he's making fun of this because, could you believe that?

If you look at you, if you smile at somebody wrong, they'll call you racist now, right?

Like rather than trying to understand why she's making that point.

And so he tries to do this role play where he's like, okay, so like, imagine I'm a black guy and I think that you smiled at me too much.

What would you say?

And of course, she gives a great answer, an amazing answer.

And then he's like, what if I thought you didn't smile at me enough?

What would you say?

And she's like, well, you know, I'd probably ask you, you know, who do you think, what white person do you know, who, do you think really nails this for you?

And I can talk to them about how they approach this.

And I'm like, well, that's brilliant.

That was,

I wouldn't have thought of an answer.

That fucking good.

I guess that's why you wrote a goddamn book on this.

And I fucking didn't.

Yeah.

His whole thing is like, what if a black person made an unreasonable request?

And she'd be like, well, then I would respond to them respectfully and I would take their emotions out of the situation so that I could be and do better.

And he's like, my friend Ben is black.

I have another plate.

Black.

Right.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

Like making fun of shitty white people being obnoxious, like bad allies, that could be a good angle conversation to have, but.

Not by Matt Walsh.

You're not going to anybody else.

Like,

Donald Glover does a great job of that in Atlanta.

He wrote Atlanta and he makes fun of that a bit.

It's great.

Just have somebody else do it because you're Matt Walsh and you're going to fuck it up.

Everything that you do is terrible and unfunny.

Yeah.

Let Dinesh D'Souza do it.

That would have leads the comedy to Dinesh D'Souza.

This is just a rule of thumb.

If Dinesh D'Souza and Ray Comfort would have made a better movie than yours, you've done something horribly wrong.

And I got that feedback on my pornography from Heath and it was hard to hear, but I really carried it forward into my future work.

Yep.

Yep.

So, and of course, this is the moment where like Matt's, he's going to apologize to Ben too, and he gives him $20 in reparations.

Right.

And I want to point something out, right?

Before I saw this movie, this is the part of the movie that Robin DiAngelo has come out and been like, I was duped, right?

So I was prepared for her to be like fooled by this and be like, oh, what a great idea that is.

Like, absolutely.

And then happily go to her purse and get some money and be like, oh, she did a silly thing because the man on TV made her do a silly thing.

She doesn't do that.

She goes, that was fucking weird.

Yeah.

And she explains why.

She's like, well, reparations need to be systemic for them to be meaningful.

That was just a weird thing you did.

And he tries desperately to justify it.

And then they try to like make her feel awkward for not also giving him some money.

And she's like.

Well, fuck, I'll give you some money.

I don't have much cash on me, but here's 30 bucks.

I win, right?

Matt only gave him 20.

She's just being kind, right?

What she's doing is she's on TV.

She's watching someone make a fool of themselves.

That person goes, please, please give the black person money.

And she goes, okay, sure.

Yeah.

That means nothing.

And then afterwards, she goes, I'm going to digest what we've just done here, which is a very obvious statement of that was fucking dumb.

Yes, right.

But she's too nice a person to just say that was, like, she showed herself to be so incredibly empathetic and caring.

I was already a fan.

Yeah.

Right.

But

to be clear, two out of three of these podcast hosts would have fallen for that way harder than Robin D'Angelo.

He sure would have been like, do you take PayPal, man?

I'm so sorry.

I feel like you can go three of three.

Yeah.

There's no fucking way any of us would have handled the whole situation as well as she did.

Right.

I don't think, I think Noah would have just been like, that's fucking stupid.

The minute Matt Wall started crying, you'd be like, you're crying and this is stupid.

Meanwhile, Heath and I are are trying to put on a song for Ben.

Three, two, Ben.

All right, it shouldn't have tap in it.

That's worse.

Oh, Jesus.

You're saying hats off to Botswana.

Love you.

We like it there.

So, all right, now it's time for Matt Walsh to run his very own anti-racism workshop.

Right?

His do the work workshop.

That's what he calls it because he's too dumb to think of anything clever or funny.

This movie is like so accidentally about how talented Sasha Baron Cohen is.

Remember when he did, what was the movie where he was gay and they did the man slamming?

Yeah, Bruno.

Man slam.

God, man slam is amazing.

That was such a clever fucking title, The Night of Man Slamming, and it turned gay and all the fucking wrestling fans were freaked out.

That was so goddamn brilliant.

And then like he gets to his moment where it's supposed to be like his version of that type of thing.

He's just like, I don't know, do the work because that lady said that earlier.

Workshop.

Do you think Sasha would come on our show and do this movie with us as like a director's commentary?

Probably.

When we get him, but yeah, we'll see what we're doing.

Sasha, if you're listening, I'd love to have you on.

Yeah, you actually are welcome.

Yeah, you are welcome.

There's no saw traps at all.

I know sometimes

we lure people in with that promise.

We're not luring you in, though.

No saw traps.

So, yeah.

His sketch outside of Auschwitz was pretty funny.

Right?

Again, I would probably heavily infer that I wanted to be hired by him, which would be embarrassing.

Yeah, it would be.

It would be embarrassing for all of us.

Yeah.

And imply.

It's probably best that I'm not.

Yeah, I don't think you'd infer it at all.

You can have it nice.

I didn't have it.

So.

Intubate.

So now he's.

Intubate.

So, okay.

So, but now he's doing his little workshop and he's got a bunch of uninterested white people there.

And he's clearly told them, you know, hey, you know, here's your $100.

You can leave whenever you want.

And now he's making a bit out of how quickly some of them leave, how uninterested the people are, right?

Well, and I love that he has to admit in the movie, he's like, so I put up advertisement for my fake workshop and nobody came.

And also I advertised on Craigslist and offered to pay people and admitted that I was filming it.

Yes, right.

Yeah.

Yep.

And admitted that they got to keep the money regardless of how long they stayed.

So a fucking course they all walked out and then did a terrible job, right?

So yeah, but he's going to present his nine-point anti-racism plan.

Now, guys, we're only going to see like five of the points.

Imagine how unfunny the other four were that they just got about the fucking.

This was the gold.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

Right.

And so there was a fun moment for me in the theater when this happened.

At the beginning of this scene, he starts his workshop and he's like, hey, everybody, point to the most racist person in the room right now.

And me immediately, I was like, it's you, Matt Walsh.

And the black women next to me in the theater at the exact same time were like, it's you, Matt Walsh.

Amazing.

So yeah, so some people dip out.

Then he has this whole like racism is non-binary speech, which he thinks is funny because non-binary, but it's actually a good point.

You know, accidentally, it's accidentally a good point.

He never makes one of those on purpose and it's on our side.

But he asks everybody to put like where they think they are on the racism scale on the board.

I love that one guy is on the like racism side of the middle.

He's like, no, I'm pretty fucking racist.

Upsetting.

So I'm upsetting.

Didn't care for that.

Medium, well, racist.

yeah but yeah and and then he makes a joke about how black people be carjacking

and then he brings ben out again and asks everyone to practice smiling at him non-racistly and one guy's like hey i don't think this is what anti-racism work is and he i again want to give him credit for the one funny joke in the movie moves his number over to the racist side for bringing out the funny objects okay that was genuinely funny that was the second second in the movie that was entertaining in any way yes

but yeah oh and i should put out too look so this is also okay so they do the thing with ben and then they bring out his racist uncle frank so that they can yell at him for being a racist right so call back to earlier in the movie you remember when he was speaking to the very first lady the white lady she was like hey you need to confront people when they say racist things because white silence is a huge problem of racism right and she's like you know confront your uncle frank when he makes racist jokes at dinner and so this is his uncle frank who made a racist joke at dinner and i could not get out of my head a better punch up for this scene.

So forgive me.

We'll get back to making fun of Matt Walsh.

But how funny would it have been if he brought out Uncle Frank, talked about his racist joke, and then beat the shit out of Uncle Frank.

That's super funny, right?

No, that's genuinely fucking hilarious, actually.

Yeah.

So obviously he doesn't do that.

So I also want to point out it this way.

Like I said, the guy who was in the theater with me, he sat right in front of me.

I know it's assigned seating, so you have to buy it in advance, but you know that I'm the only other person in the theater when you walk in and you can just fucking lie, right?

You just fucking lie.

I genuinely, I almost bought seat J6 and then I was like, no, no.

It's a two on the nose.

But it was at this point that I noted, I wrote in my notes that the guy who was in the theater with me had never reacted in any way to anything in this movie.

He'd never laughed.

He had never like.

you know, like early on, he would look back at me here and there and give a kind of a nod or whatever.

But other than that, he never reacted to it.

He literally hated every moment of it but he was clearly ideologically bound to enjoy himself and he was so mad about that yeah anyway so yeah so they tell the racist joke that uncle frank told and then they

yell at uncle frank for telling it okay there was one little moment that i laughed at here too it was by accident so matt walsh didn't do this but uncle frank laughs at his joke being recited to him and i was like yeah that's that's just like all the uncle Franks I've ever seen.

No, nailed it.

And so like, this is also the first point in any movie we've ever watched where I accidentally checked my watch twice in the same minute.

Yeah.

But so the fight, he gets to the final step of his nine-step program that we've skipped most of the steps of, and that step is self-flagellation.

Get it?

So that's what they're after.

Them people of color.

Also, those whips would not work for self-flagellation.

They're too long.

They're all bullwips.

It's It's stupid.

We can just get the right goddamn whips.

Now I know Matt Walsh has a bunch of bullwips.

Right, obviously, right, because it would have cost less to get the correct whips for this.

Well, just for the record, though, sometimes it comes around and hits you back in the front and it does hurt.

I just spawned on it.

Yeah, no, it can't.

It sure can.

It sure can.

But yeah, and then like a bunch of other people leave.

And then this is where he realizes that things have gone too far and he walks off.

Right.

Right.

Because the whole concept of this movie has been like no i really am a leftist even though all of it's been a gotcha it's hard to follow because all of it's been a gotcha but this is supposed to be the like what if dei isn't real in my movie about how dei isn't it's just it's it's meta within stupid right yeah exactly but this is where his fake i actually want to learn this stuff character breaks down and realizes that maybe it's been bullshit all along So we get like a VO.

He's walking along in the streets and he's going like, what have I become?

And I'm like, did did you just actually just hear it?

But he didn't.

He didn't.

No, he didn't.

So he heads back to the diner where he's wondering around race at the very beginning of the movie.

And he has the black waitress say his conclusion for him.

Well, it's start to, right?

Like he has the, he has the flashbacks to the movie and she's like, oh, that's all dumb.

I've been paid to say, right.

But then he stands up and he has his big, like, I've learned something here today speech, which means that he closes the movie by white splaining racism to a black woman who he's paid not to say anything in response.

Yes.

And that monologue includes the words, race-baiting con artists.

Yep.

Yeah, right.

The premise is that racism is a lie sold by big anti-racism to sell more anti-racism.

And when he gets done with that, everyone in the diner gives him a slow clap.

And I have to point out.

Is he paid them to?

Right.

And they fuck up the slow clap like I it's like how do you fuck up they they just it's three slow claps and then it's full clap every there's no build in it whatever

you have to build to it idiots I wrote in my notes like every slow clapping person at the end of this movie is a bad lover right 100 you got to do a curve it has to be yes finances obviously they're all looking for the clit on someone's tummy yeah

so yeah but then they back away and uncle frank is telling a racist joke this movie doesn't have the guts to to actually do that So we just see him talking through the window.

It actually goes into the tummy.

All right.

It's in like the eyeballs.

It goes everywhere.

Really?

It's just always.

It's like, it's got the, there's the spot we're supposed to know about, but then it's like everywhere, apparently, on the inside.

All right.

Well, I guess we can't close this off without answering the title question.

So, gentlemen.

Is Matt Walsh racist?

Yup.

Yeah, very racist.

Okay.

All right.

That's what I thought.

I just figured, you know, because it was a question.

All right.

Well, that's going to do it for our review of Am I Racist.

That's not going to do it for the episode just yet, though, because we still need to do this again next week.

So, Eli, tell us what's on deck.

Nana, a Ghanaian immigrant in America, faces a moral dilemma when her quest for legal status leads to an unintended pregnancy and abortion.

Haunted by guilt, she encounters a vengeful spirit seeking revenge for the unborn child.

We'll be kicking off our Halloween spooktacular with

the clot.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, when that monster is fetus,

I think that's what it's fetus.

That's what it's, sir.

Fucking reads.

Like.

Fantastic.

All right.

So, with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 475 to a merciful close.

Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go.

If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can win a per episode donation at patreon.com/slash godolphal and thereby earn only access to an ad-free version of every episode.

You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms.

And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, The Scathing Atheist Citation Needed DD Minus, and The Skeptocrat, available wherever podcasts live.

If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodAwful Movies at gmail.com.

Tim Robertson takes care of our social media.

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryus Lotnick of Vivill Drafts on Mars.

All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission.

Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.

For Heathen Wright, Neli Bosnick, I'm Nelucia's promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week.

Until then, we'll leave you with the breakfast club close.

Matt Walsh's poster that says, Black friends one got flipped back to zero by Ben.

Ben went on to not get invited to family reunions anymore.

Matt Walsh's new documentary, Does My Face Round at the Bottom Like a Baby's Butt, barely lost to Deadpool vs.

Wolverine's 875th weekend theatre.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm LLC, February 2024, all rights reserved.

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