NEW GUYS! with Emmy Winner Lamorne Morris and Kyle Shevrin

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Sopher.

And we're the good guys.

There's a lot of guys out there and we're the good ones.

Muscle morons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm sitting here with a guy that puts irritable and irritable bowel syndrome.

It's Ben Sopher.

I am irritated, but I'm incredibly excited because folks, you know him and you love him in New Girl.

He's currently nominated for an Emmy for his work in Fargo.

We're all pulling for him.

He has his own fantastic podcast that he does with his wonderful co-host, an actor and comic in his own right called The Morning After that we just did.

And it was an absolute oot.

It's Lamon Morris and Kyle Shefford.

Folks, thank you so much for joining us.

How was that intro?

Pretty good, right?

That was unreal.

That was good.

Well, he called me Lamon.

You couldn't hear it.

You couldn't hear me.

I think

I did not.

Imagine Daughty Roll.

You went like this.

He went Lamon.

Hey, that's my nickname.

That was my college nickname.

That's hell.

Yeah.

Keep it that way.

Lamar, promise.

That's what I said.

Not Lamon.

You're Italian now, Lamar.

Lamon.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever gotten any kind of sexy nickname from someone.

Really?

Just fat fuck.

Well, sapphire is a good one.

Me too.

Sexy.

Yeah, fat fuck.

That's what I got usually through most of most of my life.

That's what my wife gave me early on.

She's like, fat fuck.

But you were out there making love.

Yeah.

That's all that.

No, there's more to love.

Exactly.

Ben and his wife are separately two of the greatest people there is and together make an incredible couple.

But would you say, Ben, that you guys sometimes have a bit of a Jeff Garland, Susie Sman-type vibe?

We are enthusiasm.

We are Frank and Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond.

Like, that's us.

I love that.

I love that.

That's us.

That's our vibe.

Like, it's just, we, we love it.

Love, love, love, love, love.

But yes, 100%.

Well, tell us about your podcast.

We just did it.

It was incredible.

And how did you guys meet?

Give us a little bit of the backstory.

Yeah.

I mean, I think I've told this story before, but I moved to LA from New Jersey.

And when I first got out here, like the nerd I was, I went to the library and I went to go grab this book.

I think it was like how to attract women in the workplace or something.

And this like mocha chocolate hand reached for the same book at the same time.

And I looked up and it was Lamorne.

He was the first person I met in LA.

Hold on.

Let me.

Yeah, mocha chocolate.

I see.

Checks out.

See?

Beautiful.

That's how you know the story is from.

Beautiful hands.

Beautiful hands.

No, we met.

We met, what, like 11?

I think we're on year 11 now.

Yeah.

We met at a bar, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nothing, nothing, not like Grinder, but similar circumstance.

We were both there with different groups of people.

Kyle had just moved here.

Yep.

And I was leaving, and he stopped me and was like, hey, dude,

I'm a comic, I'm a writer.

What's up, dude?

Like, I'm just moving out here.

If you ever need like help with anything.

And I think at the time, we're all writing partners.

So we were like looking for someone like a scribe if you will someone that could you know just kind of hang out and like take notes or whatever like a writer's assistant yeah like a writer's assistant but it turns out he was just as funny as all of us so it was one of those things where we're like oh man welcome welcome to the fold and hazed him a little bit we made him do weird stuff in music videos for a little while yeah and then look at him look at him now

fested up So is that, does, is that a good reason to shoot your shot, Kyle?

I feel like you always shoot your shot.

You should always shoot your shot i mean you won you you shot and now you live with the man

ben you're gonna start shooting your shots we know you're starting the family soon

yeah no i i just felt i was so naive and so new to la and like didn't really know kind of how this industry worked or whatnot so you know i literally had just seen lamorne on an episode of new girl And it was so weird.

It was like one of the first people I saw from kind of like from TV.

And then I don't even know why.

I just said, I just suddenly said something.

And then we just started talking and like each project kind of got a little bigger and a little bigger.

And now we're on year 12 of our friendship and we're like a griddled CTE ridden NFL player.

Yeah.

Veteran.

No bad knees.

No

OGs with bad knees.

Yeah.

So yeah.

And oh, and the reason we started the podcast is because We're always just talking shit every day anyway.

So we're like, why don't we just start recording this thing?

Yeah.

And he's done everyone in anyone's podcast.

Yeah.

So it was like, just time.

It just made it, it just made a lot of sense, you know, especially in this day and age where everyone's so opinionated about politics, race, sex, religion, all these different things.

And we're like, meh,

we don't draw hard lines anywhere.

We just kind of like, we're like, all right, let's just have some fun.

Let's kind of mock a lot of these things.

Let's interview folks and not necessarily talk about the things that they're like known for so much.

You know what I mean?

Because, you know, for us, like for me, what I would, what, when people interview me sometimes, it's great too, because it's usually about something that I'm working on, which, you know, as performers, we're very passionate about the stuff that we're doing.

So I want to talk about it.

But then sometimes on a podcast, you want to kick your feet up and talk shit about conspiracy theories.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, people didn't know that.

Like, there's a lot of stuff when I'm like watching certain podcasts.

Like, I didn't know that about that person because on a traditional like news outlet you won't learn that about them so we want to kind of you know talk shit about nothing things that don't actually matter that much you know what's a conspiracy theory you're hot on right now oh what's tickling your you know oh man i've been i've been watching a lot of ben carson lately and

ben carson ben carson is that the guy who ran for president he did yeah he ran for was it ben carson i'm thinking about yeah was he the one who he's got the pizza joint oh no i'm thinking of the other guy who had the pizza joint no who wants her main categories of pizza joint?

Hold on, let me see.

No, isn't Ben Carson the doctor that

the doctor that ran for president?

Isn't that who?

No?

Yes.

Dr.

Ben Carson.

Dr.

Ben Carson.

Yeah.

I'm not thinking of Ben Carson.

Who am I thinking about?

What's the guy's name?

Graham Hancock.

Ben Shapiro.

You're a big Ben Shapiro.

No, I'm not.

You aren't.

You're listening to a lot of Dr.

Ben Carson.

What's the guy?

What's his name?

What are you thinking about Graham Hancock?

Not Graham Hancock.

The black dude.

The black conspiracy theorist guy.

There's so many.

Not Dr.

Lou Marjorie.

There's just so many.

It's my whole YouTube algorithm.

It's not Ben Carson.

No.

Ben Davis.

Wait, let's see.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, wait, Cat Williams?

Cat Williams.

I feel like we're getting warmer, no?

What is his name?

Motherfucking Chemtrails.

It's motherfucking chemtrails.

You see the problem that motherfuckers have.

Oh, damn it.

I forget.

Damn it.

Never mind.

Never mind.

What's Ben Carson up to, though?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You brought him up.

Definitely spreading some conspiracy theories, I think.

I thought it was going to be a good idea.

I thought about my YouTube.

My YouTube might tell me who it is.

It is crazy how sometimes those people get all the way up to like running for president and then they don't win and then you just never hear from them again.

You're like, where are they?

And I don't know where he is.

That's a great question.

Yeah.

We're like, where's baseball Mitt Romney?

Like, I miss that guy.

He's around.

He's kicking around.

He's man, I'm he's jet set in somewhere.

I don't know.

Yeah.

You guys don't know the black dude who does the conspiracy theories.

Dude, there's so many.

What about the guy, Riley Martin?

Remember Riley Martin from the Howard Stern show?

Riley Martin, no.

Oh, yeah.

I just remember Betelgeuse.

Betelgeuse.

Riley Martin basically, his whole thing was that he had had contact with aliens.

And he'd be like, hello, I'm Riley Martin.

And like, it was, it was pretty good.

Are you good at impressions?

Not, I'm not really.

Okay, but I, I, the thing, my issue with conspiracy theories is, and my friends who who are really into it, I want to be like, the problem is, if you're right,

I have to stop believing in everything I've ever believed in ever.

Yes, you know, yeah, right, yeah.

I got super into like time travel kind of recently,

and stephen hawking did a experiment where he said

did you figure it out

tweet billy carson billy who's that is that is that

wow guy no he's

really deeply dilly carson he's always on rogan he's always on these different people's podcasts he's always he's with graham hancock you just said ben carson again billy carson yeah okay billy carson sorry sorry i need a photo of this guy so to rewind yes.

I'm big on ancient alien civilizations and about how

what we think we know, even though I don't believe that.

But what we think we know of our origin is not accurate, that we come from aliens.

That'd be so great if that were the case because it would be fun to think about.

I love that.

That changed the way we think about everything.

That conspiracy theory is.

perfect because for us to think i always think this for us to think that we are the most advanced ever i just don't think it's true i don't think i i don't i don't see it.

Sure, we picked technology, but I'm a big fan of how the fuck were those pyramids built

to a T

just doesn't make sense.

It just doesn't make sense.

With thumbs.

Slaves with thumbs.

Yeah, but even slaves, too good.

It's just too perfect.

Here's what I think.

Here's my conspiracy theory.

Oh, let's go.

Is that

it reminds me of this quote from Breaking Bad, Walter White.

Let's see how long it takes him to get to the Jews.

So the Jews.

So Walter White, remember Walter White when he says to his wife, when she's like, you know, what if they come for us and what's going to happen to the kids and what's going to happen?

And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he looks at her and he goes, I am the one who knocks.

What if we are the ones who've been like

discovering other planets?

What if we are the most advanced?

And what we've been doing is going to different civilizations, stealing things, stealing tech, maybe developing, maybe building.

Maybe, what if we've been doing this forever?

And we just were just led to believe that, oh, there's these other beings that are out there that are, that are, it's almost like sometimes with like war, when we like, we go and we start wars or we have these things all over the world.

They're at the beginning of time.

It's not always about what you think it's about.

You know, the people, we kind of are like low on the

food chain as far as information goes.

You know what I mean?

It's way above our pay grade.

So, but we forgot.

We forgot that we did all this stealing.

No, no, no, no.

We, we, as citizens, no, but the higher ups,

we, as citizens, we don't know this information.

We never knew it.

Yes.

But my conspiracy is that we've been going out and we've been like pillaging other planets and civilizations forever.

I'm in.

And who?

Hillary Clinton?

I just think like our world leaders.

I'm in on it.

So everyone got deneuralized.

Yeah.

What's that expression?

History was written by the victors.

Like, yes.

Hello.

Yeah.

Hello.

Yeah.

I'm in.

I'm in.

You see what I mean?

Vin Diesel, Victor.

Yeah.

Who's got it better than Vin Diesel?

He's never lost a race.

Yeah.

Think about it this way.

Like, the Vin Diesel characters come from somewhere.

We don't know any Vin Diesel-like characters in our lives, like The Rock and stuff like that.

We don't know them because they're all off in other planets, like beating up aliens and like taking over other civilizations.

I could see 100%.

I'm in.

Yes.

So the Rock and Vin Diesel in the situation, they've squashed their beef and they're conquering planets like Thanos.

Yes.

Or Dangus.

I could get in on that.

Yeah.

I don't know.

They deleted him from the MCU.

I don't know who that is anymore.

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Hi, I'm Pia Berengini, a creative director of LPA, an entrepreneur, a wife, and a dog mom based in Los Angeles.

This is my new podcast, Everything is the Best, where we basically ask interesting people, how did you go from zero to yacht?

I'm always curious how the hell people became successful, and I figured you would be too.

Get on the internet with me.

Let's laugh, let's cry, let's overshare, and let's get inspired to live our best lives.

Check out new episodes every Wednesday.

It's all for you, baby.

Thanks for listening.

Love you, mean it.

Isn't Vin Diesel and The Rock having a ledge beef?

Or I guess it's been confirmed.

Yeah.

Isn't it like the the most reflective like brother story they could not look more alike

just like brothers you know if you're picking some rivalry if you have to pick a side vin diesel or the rock who are you going with josh you start oh lord oh

i'm man see here's the problem right the rock is that brother who you like feel like they're gonna protect you but they're also the one at 6 a.m being like let's go for a run yeah you're like fuck and then vin is the brother who's like want to go like figure out some mail fraud

you know

oh they both love you yeah but you know they have different ways of going about it yeah exactly right it's really hard for me to pig between the two because like you said the rock man of the mana fellow POC.

But then you have Vin, just the GOAT

of street racing.

Amazing.

And of

riddick.

Yeah.

And made up his own language that he's when he speaks English.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He does do that.

I got some funny stories.

I can't pick between the two.

It's so hard, Ben.

Don't make me do this.

You have to.

And here's why I can't pick.

I worked with Vin once.

He's fantastic.

He's such a character.

He is such a character that it's hard for me to be like, and

on the low, like, was doing so much for me.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's, it's weird.

It's, it's, I can't go into details about it, but like, he, he's, he's dope.

But he is his own thing when he's on set.

You know what I mean?

It is the Vince show.

And rightfully so, because he is,

you know what I mean?

Like, he's Vin Diesel.

He's Dominic Toretto.

You know, I want, that's what I want for my career is to get to that point where it is, like, I do, I can do whatever I want.

You know what I mean?

I'm not, you know, I'm not, he doesn't abuse it or anything like that.

I'm just saying, like, that would would be great to have those, to reach those types of heights, you know, in comedy or in drama.

You know what I'm saying?

The Rock, I don't know him very well.

I met him once.

I was, I did one scene in Jumanji and we met at the table read, but he couldn't have been,

like, he was so nice and so kind.

I, after doing the table read, he like stood up and was like, this is proof that we can make this movie without Kevin Hart.

And

they gave me a scene in the movie.

And I was just like, man, that's, and I only hear good things about him.

You know what I mean?

So I can't really choose, but I have a, I have a, a connection with Vin, I would say.

Tell me about this special Vin language, or are you allowed to share?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Vin, when he would talk with his, with his close buddies on set, he would go,

and they would be like, yeah, and they would laugh.

And they were apparently understanding every single thing he was saying.

And and i just kept looking like

y'all laughing about yeah they were like

i looked at him and i was like why are y'all just laughing because because he's vin i was like he ain't saying and he looked at me and he goes shut down when you hang around me long enough you're gonna know exactly what i'm talking about wow you were like mark sinclair you're talking gibberish

i was like you're not saying anything yeah and then Then years later, I remember someone saying that about him.

They were like, yeah, he speaks like he sometimes when he's like trying to communicate with just a couple people, he'll go,

and they go, oh no, he's actually saying something.

And you do have to be like around him long enough to understand exactly.

And that's how they

speak to each other.

I'm like, you got to be kidding me.

This whole time, I thought they were just doing a thing.

And it turns out, no, this man has become such a goat that he doesn't actually have to speak.

And people will understand exactly what he means.

God, he's cool.

He is so cool.

He's the whole path.

I really wanted to say the rock.

Like, I love the rock.

But after that story, nobody's cooler than Vin Diesel.

He makes up his own language and forces his friends to use it.

There's nothing cooler than that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you imagine if you're on set and you're mic'd?

Yeah.

And you don't want to, like, you're trying to have like a personal conversation.

You don't want to take your mic off.

You start speaking in this coded language.

Good.

It's like, you know what I mean?

Like, because those sound guys be listening.

Have you ever run into that where, cause as actors, you're as, you know, the three of us, like, you get mic'd up, you're wearing something called a lapel mic.

So it's on your body technically for the whole day.

Yeah.

And the, it's all being sent to the sound guys.

And in theory, they can control whether everyone else with headsets can hear it, but they can listen as much as they want.

Yeah.

Has that ever happened to you where like they were like, like, sounds like a rough night last night.

How does he know?

That's luckily, that's never happened to me.

I've only worked with like pretty dope.

No, well,

I take that back.

I did this sketch.

I did it.

I did a, I'm not going to say where I did it, but it was the funny superhero sketch thing.

You could look it up.

But I just remember at the time,

my ex-girlfriend was also in it.

So it was us two as like a mundane superhero couple or whatever.

And I remember us having like a personal like.

conversation on the couch, like kind of like, it might have been like sexual in nature.

It might have been.

I don't remember just like being flirty with each other.

Sure.

And I just remember saying something funny.

She laughed, but way across the room, but the sound guy with his headphones on also laughed.

Oh, no.

And I went like this.

And then he looked over and he was like, did he put his head back?

I was like, motherfucker, are you?

He was like, no, no.

And I was like, so what do you know I'm talking about?

And he was like, dude, no, I'm just, no.

And he got so flustered.

And I was like, this man is listening.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that was the one time.

Isn't the most famous story?

And I don't know how rated.

I mean, we've made just

no, I think it's Stallone.

Oh, Stallone was in his trailer, like getting a blow job, and his sound his mic was still on.

Oh, okay.

And the sound guy just, I don't know what he did with that information, but

they call me Rocky, but it's pretty smooth, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, I'm in a fight to fight.

I'm a fair.

Oh, my God.

No, I heard the have you heard the story about, is it Pacino, or it might have been Pacino, where he's in his trailer and he says,

I forget, or DeNero, I forget who it was, but he goes, damn, I have a headache.

And he said that to himself in his trailer.

And then like a few minutes later, a PA comes and knocks on his door with Tylenol.

And he went and immediately fired the sound guy.

Damn.

Immediately.

What's your favorite Pacino movie?

Oh, man.

I mean, there's like the classics, the, you know, scent of a woman.

Yeah.

But I'm trying to think of like the ones.

I worked with him once.

Really?

So I got to get full Pacino up close.

Whoa, detail.

He was the greatest.

And, but it was fascinating because like, you know, we are, my scenes were only with him.

So halfway through the days, like in his mid-70s, and he would just like look at me and go, go, oh,

he'd go,

like, are you, are you Fo Puccino-ing me?

Yeah, so good.

Puccino and Donny Brosco is great.

I like the one with Keanu Reeves.

Is it Keanu Reeves?

Devil's Devil, yeah, Devil's Advocate.

Devil's Advocate.

I love Devil's Advocate.

He was another level of disgusting in that one, which I thought was...

And I love seeing, even though he's played a lot of bad guys and stuff like that, I do love seeing like actors that you respect in such a way and you hold in a high regard just getting weird.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's why I love Denzel in Training Day so much.

You know what I mean?

Because we're so used to him being this heroic figure, but then you see him acting like a gangster and just like doing wild stuff.

It like it takes you out for a little bit of like reality.

So when he was in that, when he's with the demons and he's the devil and all this shit, I'm like, that's

that's cool.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know how the fuck you knew that ring was a Fukesi.

I'm dying to know.

That's funny, Brasco.

Can you do Pacino, Godfather, Pacino, young Pacino?

I can't, but it's a little more here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a little like lighter hand.

Yeah.

No, I can't do that one.

Who broke my heart?

Yeah.

That's really good.

I can only do the deeper one, like the any given Sundays.

Oh, yeah.

On this theme, we claw with our fingernails for that inch.

Yeah.

It's so funny.

My father-in-law played for the Jets for a decade.

Holy crap.

Nice.

Quarterback, true athlete.

And so me being.

Joe Namath.

Yeah.

Joe Namath is your name.

He's my actual father.

What?

Ken O'Brien.

Okay.

Who's all through the 80s and 90s.

So I being like having nothing to offer him athletically, just a total disappointment as a son-in-law, will be like, how about football movies?

So, like, I've shown him that scene from any given Sunday where Pacino's just laying into the players, just this epic coach speech.

And he kind of was like, Obviously, Pacino, like one of the greatest, like, you know, Oliver Stone, amazing movie.

He goes, that has never, will never, could never happen.

It could not be further from reality.

Oh, that's so funny.

Sick.

You imagine they come in and give like some passionate speech.

And then one player is like, the fuck you talking about?

I'm here to ball, man.

I don't know what to do.

Shut your ass up, man.

Throw the ball, catch the ball, run the ball, shut the fuck up.

When your mother is ringing the dinner bell and you're running in the project hallways, what does he say?

On this team, we.

Oh, fuck.

What did he say?

No, no.

Look at that guy next to you.

I think you're going to see a guy who will go that extra inch.

You're going to see a guy.

And he keeps going.

And then Cameron Diaz walks in, and you're like you're like i like this movie yeah

so lamorn you you brought it up you brought it up i mean i wasn't prepared for anything yeah but you did bring something up yeah you love the movie training day yes i too oh love the movie training day oh very nice you look at your phone

look at my phone i just text you a little something uh oh is it a script it came up green so i don't know if maybe you're oh you got you you texted uh old number

you were texting me hold on you were texting me earlier before.

Man, we're not in the group chat.

Fucking A, man.

I was going to say, Josh was bossed mid-app.

I don't know what happened.

No, look, this is.

It's not good.

Mid-app.

Did you get my Texas now?

Hold on.

Let me see.

Yeah, Todd.

Ever since my SIM card went down in New York.

Oh, my Sims.

I'm number is weird, dude.

Don't worry.

I'll send you a text.

Yeah, we'll text.

I'll send you a script.

Hold on.

I just sent you a little something.

Maybe it's a scene from Training Day.

Maybe you could play

Tenzo Washington.

Are you playing?

And maybe I could play Ethan?

I don't know.

This is a long scene, but

we'll do like a page.

I'll lead you in.

Okay.

This is crazy.

Hold on.

We could do,

I believe it's the middle of

page 88.

Page 88.

Scene 1A.

In the middle, we'll start with my line.

What's the line you're going to start with?

That man was your friend.

That man?

Okay.

Action.

That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.

Friend.

Because I drank his whiskey and he knew my name?

Shit.

I was playing his ass.

That's my job.

That's your job.

Roger sold dope to kids.

World's better off without him.

He's the biggest major violator in L.A.

I've been watching that cocksucker operate with impunity for 10 years.

Now I got him.

This shit's chest, not checkers.

Can't just slap cuffs on a cat like that.

Look, look, look, look, look, look.

Keep the money.

I told you, I don't want it.

Just take it.

Throw it in the ocean.

Barbecue it.

Just take it.

It will make the boys feel better.

No, fuck their feelings.

You're not making anyone feel, oh, you're not making anyone feel you're on the team.

Is that

out of order?

It's perfect.

We'll just say that.

Oh, my God.

That was unreal.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh.

You do a better Denzel than Denzel.

That was unbelievable.

Wow.

I thought I was in the movie for a second.

All right, Ben, do you feel like you were in the movie?

I have goosebumps.

Holy smokes.

I thought I was going to catch a strike.

What scene do you guys have prepared?

All right, we're going to do something from I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

I'm going to send it to you.

Okay.

Life is a circle.

It's a circle.

I leave you key.

I leave you key.

You seem like a man who's where Pacino is not your only, not your only go-to impression.

What else do we have in the arsenal?

Oh, man.

I mean,

no one's like specific, but just like voices in general.

Like if I hear someone, I can kind of like mimic them.

Kyle, tell me about Dream Scenario.

What kind of movie is Dream Scenario?

Okay.

Dream Scenario

is a masterpiece.

Nick Cage.

That was Gary Busey.

That was Gary Busey.

Oh, my God.

Nick Cage is like one of my favorite people.

Walk in, funny enough, another favorite of mine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when Lamar in his new show, the Spider-Man Noir with Nick Cage,

I felt like he was almost more giddy to tell me he got the project than he was because he knows how much I love Nick Cage.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was equal parts excitement.

One, because I'm like, holy shit, I'm in this show with Nick Cage.

But the other half of my excitement, just as much, was like, oh, shit, Kyle's going to flip out.

He's been obsessed with Nick Cage.

He's been such a fan of his forever.

He'll post weekly photos of Nick Cage's like outfits

on his Instagram.

You know what I mean?

So I was, you know, yeah, he hasn't met him yet, though.

Wow.

Nick Cage is the one.

Yeah, he's a man.

He's so cool.

He obviously

has gotten shit over the years because sometimes he'll just probably do things to pay the bills.

Yes.

But every story I hear from those sets, even those like less exciting movies than, you know, something massive, he takes it as serious as anything he's ever done.

Well, that's why he's so good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's why he's so good.

No days off, man.

No, notice he goes full cage every movie.

Full cage.

And, you know, like you said, sometimes the movies aren't as good as some of the other ones, but like you can tell he gives 110%.

His performances are.

Yeah, he's always good.

Like he's no matter what, he's always good.

Dude, long.

Like jiu-jitsu?

Have you seen jiu-jitsu?

No, I haven't seen jiu-jitsu, bro.

Have you seen jiu-jitsu?

No, but I've seen, no, but I've seen National Treasure, and holy smokes,

that fucking movie.

Can you do a Nicholas Cage?

Benjamin Franklin Gates.

What a character.

Can you do Nicholas Cage saying, I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence?

I just, yeah, I just always like, Riley,

we're going to steal the Declaration of Independence.

And Riley's like, What are we doing?

Jiu-Jitsu, for you guys, is fans.

If you haven't seen that one, it's unreal.

Basically, in the future, going back to our alien talk, an alien comes down to Earth like every whatever, thousand years and challenges like our best martial arts human.

And Nick Cage is that guy.

Oh, wow.

So it's Nick Cage fighting an alien and the movie title, very creative.

Jiu-Jitsu.

Go check that one out.

Wait, wait, when did it come out?

This one came out recently, like fairly recently, like within like five years, I'd say.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I got to check that one out.

Yeah.

Classic.

On your podcast, we talked about the cold weather Western I did in Romania.

And I remember one of the stunt doubles, much like the film Jiu-Jitsu about Jiu-Jitsu.

Yeah.

He was like, you know, I'm a kickboxer.

They call me kick.

I was like, it's so literal.

Wait, you did a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme?

I went.

Oh, man.

They call me Kick.

Oh, that.

Oh, Josh.

Did you call me?

Josh Kick?

Sure.

Josh, who's your favorite actor in the movie?

We know Lamar and Denzel.

Like, what's we know me?

You know, mine.

What's your favorite?

Wait, what is yours, Ben?

Because we don't know it.

Oh, my favorite movie of all time is Mrs.

Doubt Fire.

And everybody knows Robin Williams is my favorite actor.

Period.

And we know, and we know Kyles is...

is Nick Cage and National Treasure.

So, Josh, you.

Oh, it's so hard.

I mean, like, I like, like, I really like this movie, Searching for Bobby Fisher.

Yeah, I'm really into chess.

Ben just learned this about me.

I fuck with Ben Kingsley.

That might be the first time those words have ever been said like that, but I fucks with Sir Ben Kingsley.

I fucks with Ben Carson.

Yay, yay,

Billy Carson.

So, tell me about the, are you allowed to talk about the new show you're doing or is it like?

Not too much.

It's, it's, it's, it's set in the it's spider noir.

So it's a noir.

You know what I mean?

It's, I guess you could say,

yeah, what can I say?

Don't get in trouble.

Don't get in trouble.

You know when Tom Holland like ruined one whatever Avengers movie and then they they just yeah, yeah.

So no, so I'm just it's it's gonna be great.

Nick Cage is in it.

But what is public is it's part of the Marvel Sony universe, right?

Yes.

Is their beef on the streets?

If you see Kevin Feige, are you not gonna make eye contact?

Well, he doesn't follow me on social media or anything.

I think that's for a reason.

You know what I mean?

Like, he hates me.

Wow.

I would love to be a part of both universes.

You know what I mean?

But, like, the jury's still out on whether they like me or not.

You know what I mean?

So, just, you know, again, I comment and stuff.

He doesn't respond.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's all good.

You know what I mean?

Is this something that you're going to have to get?

And, like, obviously, you're already in gorgeous shape, but you know, that superhero level.

Okay.

I think so.

You know what I'm saying?

Create a team.

Shout out.

Pop.

Ben.

I wish you were here.

Jenny's I wish Ben Carson was here, too.

Give me a little mammogram.

Mamogram.

Josh, Josh, show me your arms.

Josh has big arms.

Show him your arms.

You want to show him your arms.

Sure.

I'm doing it.

Look at your shorts.

Short.

But I dislocated my arm as a kid and it never went back.

Look at that.

Sammy, make sure that it's

a guy.

That'll upset you, right?

Wait, dude, my God.

Oh,

foot in the forest gumps' legs.

It's awesome.

Call poverty, y'all.

I was broke.

And we didn't have it.

All right.

So I ain't got no joints.

My mom tried to sue the YMCA.

They settled.

Really?

For $140 million.

$140,000.

And the Yellow Pages lawyer took 80%.

Isn't that weird how it works if you sue somebody, the lawyer gets all the money?

They get most of it.

They get three-fourths or something like that, right?

It's wild.

That's so crazy to me.

It's a lot of people.

Then you sue the lawyer.

That's when he eventually eventually steals from you.

Yeah, malpractice.

Yes.

Yes.

So

you live with Lamorne, yes?

Yes.

What's that like?

I mean, he could be playing the long murder game.

We could be halfway tomorrow.

Yeah, I mean, there is a conspiracy.

There is a conspiracy.

Like, you know what I mean?

Do you want to break that bed?

There's like a

conspiracy that happens in society.

It's like, you know what I mean?

Like when two people of the, and everybody talks about it, two people of different races live together that one person is always trying to kill the other.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

God damn it, Josh.

You stepped in right into a trope.

You bastard.

Look at you.

You know what I mean?

So

sorry.

So,

yeah.

Like, if we were to have murdered each other, it would have already happened.

We're on year 12.

We're on year 12.

Right, you're in.

Yeah, we would have already zodiaced each other.

But what is that?

What does the living relationship look like?

Are you guys in the kitchen in the mornings?

Is it kiyut?

Like, are you guys comparing egg rest

so so i'm a big breakfast guy i i like eating breakfast yeah and uh i could go with either way well you know i might have like a protein shake or something but lately you know i just we just moved into this house right so it is beautiful kitchen and it's fantastic love cooking beautiful kitchen love cooking my daughter my daughter i co-parent so she's with me every other week so on weeks where we're not where she's not there it's like, I can just,

meaning like I just wake up whenever, if I'm not working and like, I might get a protein shake, might not.

I might just grab a cough, make a coffee, and then leave and go do what I got to do.

But when she's here, it's very specific.

It's very, it's like she needs to eat.

So I get up with her.

We do our ritual, make breakfast, which is usually oatmeal.

She just loves oatmeal and she loves bacon.

So oatmeal, bananas, bacon.

And then we try to give her eggs, but she says she doesn't doesn't like them unless her mommy cooks them.

My son, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All into the bacon, no eggs.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know what that is.

So

breakfast, we're usually in the kitchen.

So we double-duty it.

I work on her breakfast.

Kyle works on the rest of the breakfast, and I'll make coffee.

Yeah.

And boom, boom, boom.

Yeah, and we've been pumping each other too.

Like doing hitting the gym in the mornings.

What do you mean pumping each other?

Like just getting pumps.

That's not how you phrase it, though.

Is that how?

No.

Yeah, you pump your bro.

Yeah, we pump what you do.

You pump your bro off.

Yeah, that's not it.

That can't be.

What are you talking about?

Not judgmental.

You guys

pump, right?

Constantly.

Yeah, okay.

But Josh and I jerk each other off.

That's what we do.

That's

okay.

Is that what you mean by pumping?

After the gym, right?

Jerk.

Like,

that's what we do.

Oh, you guys turn your back house into a happy back door.

We cook eggs and then jerk each other off.

That's what we do.

That's what we do.

You cook eggs and then you fertilize them.

Hey, oh my God.

I'm cutting all this out.

No cuts.

No cuts.

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Doing a little research before the pod, and I found something really interesting.

I would love to know what this year in your life looked like.

Oh gosh.

So on your IMDB in 2011,

you have a, you did an episode of the middle.

Great show.

Yes.

You played salesman.

Yes.

In 2011, you started your titular.

Is that the word?

Titular?

Am I saying it right, Sam?

You very much of a defining role as the great Winston Bishop in New Girl 2011.

What the fuck did 2011 look like?

You went from the middle salesman to New Girl.

Well,

the guest star, co-star, I would say, world for me was very brief.

It was the only one I ever did.

And, you know, prior to that, I was...

doing a bunch of commercials the year before.

So the year before, I had worked for every brand you could name.

I think I did 50-something commercials in one year.

Wow.

Nationals?

Nationals, yeah.

And prior to that.

This guy was everywhere.

And prior to that, I was dead broke.

So like dead, dead, dead broke.

And so once I started doing all these commercials, I was just kind of moving like this.

And I did, and I had never gone through a pilot season.

And I didn't even have theatrical representation at the time.

So I wasn't auditioning for shows or movies at all.

I was just doing commercials.

And my agents at the time were very happy with that because I was the number one commercial dude out there.

That's That's unheard of.

That's crazy.

50 commercials in a year.

So then what ended up happening after that was Seth Yankowitz, one of the casting directors for, he's the head of casting at New Girl, for New Girl.

Shout out Seth.

Shout out Seth.

He said that he was watching TV.

They were struggling to find to put together, you know, coach, the character of coach, saw a Vegas commercial that I had running and was like, what's that?

Like, who's that guy?

Let's just bring him in too.

And just threw me a bone, reached out you know got me in there and right so right before that though the middle was just like my only i remember auditioning for it it was my only co-star and then right after that was the same pilot season as everything else that was happening and i was just getting offers here and there for stuff but i was an unknown actor so nobody knew and no one was willing to take like an extra step for me i mean new girl ended up taking 15 auditions total to get on the show.

Wow.

So it was like a real stretch.

Everyone was like, okay, are we sure this is the guy?

Nobody knows who the fuck he is.

Like, are we sure this is the guy?

And it was like, okay, let's let's have him read again.

Who do you think you were convincing most over those fit?

Like, who, who was unsure 14 times?

It might, honestly, it had to have been studio, someone that, someone on the studio level, because

they were ready to rock and roll essentially after they, because I had three auditions for coach.

Then, long story short,

they, I, I was,

again, pilot season.

So for I had offer, I got an offer on a show called The Assistance with myself, David Henry, Sarah Wright, T.J.

Miller, yeah, Heather Locklear.

And so it was this really dope show.

And I took the offer.

But you know how it works.

You sign a contract at a test reading.

That means you're in first position for that show.

Right.

So I remember sitting at the New Girl audition.

for the test and getting the call before I signed the contract, my agent saying, don't sign it.

Don't sign it.

CBS wants wants to make you an offer.

And it's more money than what New Girl is offering.

And you don't have to go and test for it like you're about to go and do now.

It's just a straight offer.

And so I was like, well, shit, I got to take that.

And so I took it.

Seth was pretty pissed off.

Everyone hated me.

I saw Liz Meriwether, Jake Kasden, these people walk out of a room and didn't.

acknowledge me or greet me whatsoever while I was sitting there in the like the outside courtyard.

So it was brutal, man.

And then I ultimately ended up like like two hours later.

Yes.

Fox called after they written and read everybody and said, Hey, if we make Lamar an offer now, will he accept it?

And they were like, Well, it's too late.

We were trying to get you the night before to make him an offer, but you were like, Who the fuck is he?

We're not going to make him an offer.

So you had already auditioned four, four-ish times at that, or yeah, about three or four times.

I want to say four times.

And isn't it?

And I don't begrudge Liz Merriweather and Jake Kazan and Seth for being disappointed because I'm understandably so.

But like, we're the ones as actors who 99% of the time walk out head down because they said, not you.

Yeah.

And like the one time,

not you, that it's lining up well for, because, you know, it's like that, that spark, that moment.

And you're like, come on, guys.

Yeah, really?

It's the one time I'm getting two offers at the same time.

That never happens.

Never happens.

And so it ultimately worked out because, you know, they then, they then then got Damon to do it, which was an impossible thing to do because he had another show, Happy Endings,

which everyone thought wasn't going to get renewed for another season.

So they figured, oh, well, if Damon's available, great.

So they got Damon to play coach, crushed it.

Happy Endings gets picked up for a second season, so he can't do New Girl anymore.

So they need another character and

they don't want to reshoot what Damon already shot because it was...

you know what i mean yeah it was gold so they wrote a new character in for Winston.

And because I think the thing was, because it was a new character that Liz hadn't developed over the years she had been developing the other characters, they had to keep reading.

And they had to, I was, I was reading, I mean, everybody, like Bobby Lee was reading, Exhibit was reading.

You name it.

They were like offering.

I think they made

an offer to Tyrese or somebody at one point or Michael B.

Jordan.

It was like all these different.

Exhibit have been.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

I saw him in eight mile.

He was good in eight mile.

He was dope.

Welcome to Pim, My New girl.

Yo, Jess, get your ass out here.

We're going on a date.

Man, woo-hoo.

I'm going to fuck his ass up.

I'll put a fish tank in your room.

Oh, my God.

Because

Exhibit's a pretty dope actor.

Comedically, I don't know.

I haven't seen him in any comedies, bro.

Because New Girl, they improvise.

That was my saving grace.

Not fresh out of Second City at that point, but I was still on stages performing improv and sketch.

So when it came to the audition, that's the one thing that I would say saved me was my ability to just say, fuck it, and just make shit up.

Because I thought, oh, they want exhibit.

He's way more known than I am.

Okay.

So he wins.

They want, at one point, they wanted Justin Hires, who's a dope actor.

Justin Hires is charismatic and he's good looking and he's funny and he's all those things.

But I was like, okay, well, I'm not going to beat him in some of those elements.

I'm just going to.

I'm just going to improvise.

And so when it's like, oh, they want this person.

I go, great.

I'm just going to to improvise.

So I don't know how I'm going to win this role, but I'm just going to do the one thing that I know I know how to do very well and probably better than others in some point at some point.

And that's what got me the job.

What do you think was, as you said, right, up into that year and a half before you're broke, right?

And then you spend a year booking 50 commercials, which is so unheard of.

And then the next six months, you book just a game-changing co-star in the middle.

And then these.

wait, you were at Malcolm in the middle?

No, the middle, which is like a spin-off of Malcolm in the Middle or something like that.

Was it?

No, it was just called the middle.

I love Malcolm in the middle.

Same, uh, love, yeah.

Such a good show, great show.

Shout out to Frankie Ninas, yeah.

But what do you like, and then you're getting an offer on the assistants, and then the new girl happens.

Like, what do you think was happening with you over that year and a half?

What were you doing that

clearly your spark was showing?

Your special sauce.

Honestly, I feel like it might have just been a breath of fresh air for casting directors

for

someone that they have never seen before, but is performing at a level of people that they are used to seeing, maybe.

Yeah.

So it wasn't like I was a new actor.

I had just gone away from it for a while.

I, you know, I came up, like I said, at Second City, Chicago.

I was doing improv, but then I left acting to go be a TV host for a couple for three years at BET.

So I moved to New York.

Wow.

And I kind of disappeared for a little bit, but from the acting side.

But, you know, the black community still knew who I was, those who watched BET.

So I had a little bit of a fan base and a little bit of a following.

So people still vouched for me.

Like, oh, that dude's funny because my shows were comedic.

You know, and then once I, once I, I guess once I showed up, people were like, we've never seen this dude before.

And his auditions are good.

Like, who is he?

And then, you know, I guess word travels around.

And, and also,

a lot of the cats that were, that had been out here for so long

had

gone through the, the mill already.

So everyone knew of them.

Like they were already, there were cats like, that were kind of like fresh faces at the time, like me and Eric Andre.

Like all my auditions were with Eric.

So either he would book it, I would book it.

You know what I mean?

Like I would see him at every audition and we're still buddies to this day.

But it was like Eric was like a breath of fresh air.

You know what I mean?

Eric came in being Eric, doing what he liked to do, as opposed to trying to fit what the script called for.

Right.

I remember the reason why, I'm sorry to be long-winded about it, but the reason why I remember, the reason why I feel like it worked, I remember an audition for a Mill-a-Light commercial.

This was like the first, kind of one of the first big ones that I booked.

And I was so desperate.

I didn't have a car.

My car had been repoed.

I was borrowing a friend's car.

And she was late for dropping me off.

So she was late to come pick me up and then take me to the audition or whatever.

Shout out to Stephanie, Stephanie Sexton.

And

Stephanie Sexton.

Cool.

That's cool.

Even dope, doper musician.

She, she ended up driving me in her Red Ford focus, but we were late.

And so I'm sweating.

It's hot all the way to Santa Monica from North Hollywood.

And I get there and they're like, Lemon, did you read the sides?

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I did.

I hadn't read them.

And so I get in the room and I went.

Oh, boy.

It's like, fuck.

But in those rooms, they had the lines behind the camera a little bit.

So you can kind of get a glimpse of what it is.

So I'm trying to be present with the scene partner, but I, and I'm also trying to read the lines because I don't know what the script is.

And so I just started making shit up.

I just started improvising so much

that the casting director, the casting director was kind of looking at me sideways, but laughing.

But the guy over Skype, the director, was dying laughing.

And he...

booked me on the spot wow and literally sent home did you cry yeah oh my god You did.

That commercial and the new girl were the two, and then the Emmy nomination were the three times I've cried.

I'm going to cry.

Kind of you cry.

No.

When's the last time I cried?

I cried watching that movie, My Dog Skip.

Shout out to Frankie Munis.

I cried during that movie.

That movie fucking so sad, man.

Have you seen that movie?

I have.

That is a sad movie, dude.

Not as sad as the whale, but sad.

But sad.

The whale again.

Dude, have you seen it?

Have you seen the whale?

I haven't seen it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I haven't seen it.

I have been finding myself as I've gone getting older every year, like getting a little more emotional.

Like sometimes a video will pop up on IG or something.

And like, I'm like, am I about to cry watching this shit?

Like, what is happening?

So, yeah, I don't know.

Maybe in my age, I'm crying more.

I feel like you cry when Tom Brady, like, you go to your room if like your soccer team loses or if Tom Brady loses.

I feel like you go to your room, shut the door and cry.

It was a sad day when Tom Brady retired.

I was sad that day.

Yeah.

I'm gonna cry when lebron james retires yeah really yeah yeah that'll be the fourth time i cry

no mention of your child's birth

ben what what do you what do you cry over what sports star would you cry over i mean when kobe died i cried for like a week like that was like yeah oh yeah yeah that was like the worst thing ever and it like hit like a ton of bricks.

So any

like tragedy like that.

And then I'm a diehard Knick fan since birth.

You know that, Josh.

So like, honestly, this season, like they didn't give me anything to cry over, but like they could have.

They were so close.

Like the Knicks are so good.

Everyone got hurt.

I know.

Everyone died on the team.

It's crazy.

They did.

They did.

But this year, we feel really good.

We got Bridges.

I feel like we're going to the Eastern Conference Finals, and I'm going to cry.

I'm going to cry if

we somehow make it that way.

I love Bridges.

He ain't setting you over the top.

i think that chemistry i'm so happy we're talking about sports i think that chemistry i think chemistry alone gets you further than maybe somebody more impressive than bridges and i think the fact that these guys are all ready to take pay cuts they've all played together for so long they're so happy to be teammates like i think I think you didn't need a superstar.

You needed a great two-way player.

That's what Bridges is.

And I think Brunson is once in a generation.

Like the guy is

so good.

And it finally lets Randall kind of take a slight back seat.

Not that I don't like him.

I think he's good.

But like Randall's not the two.

Like the two is Bridges or the two is OG or the two.

Like it's, it's nice that we don't know yet.

That's what a great team is, in my opinion.

When you don't know Mitchell Robinson, is he on the Knicks?

He's on the center.

He's on the Knicks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's our center.

I watched this video of him the other day.

going like playing like pickup or something.

I had no idea his bag was like that.

This dude was doing sham gods.

He's stepping back.

I was like, wait, if they just let him do that,

this is a whole different team.

If they just unleash Mitchell Robinson, that'd be fun.

I saw that.

I saw that video.

He looked like Wendy.

What's your team?

Are you a Bulls fan?

I'm a Bulls fan, but I'm a Lakers.

Well, here's the thing.

I'm a player first guy.

So I'm LeBron first.

So if LeBron plays for the Bucs tomorrow, I'm wearing a Bucs jersey.

Understood.

If LeBron plays for the Knicks, I'm moving to New York.

Kyle, what about you?

And that's saying a lot because I hate New York.

I also like the Knicks.

With a passion.

Who hates New York?

Me.

You hate the city?

I hate the chaos of it.

I love the people.

I love the people in New York.

I just hate the geography of it all.

It's so like.

I thought you were about to say something else there.

You got caught up on the JG.

The gym.

Yeah.

Oh, I hate the Jews in New York.

Is that what you got?

Is that what you got?

We want to thank you guys for being on the Good Guys Podcast.

Don't worry, man.

I'll alert the group chat.

So we have one, we have one segment left, and it's our what are you nuts moment, which is your gripes with people, places, and things.

So anything big or small that's sticking in your craw, anything you're annoyed by,

we'll go first.

So you guys will have a moment to think about it.

But before we get to that, so you have even more time,

real quick, we'll do, we get these things called speak pipe from our listeners they live us leave us like a voicemail ask for advice if you want to leave us a speak pipe go to speakpipe.com slash good guys keep it brief brevity's key and let's hear from

oh this one's gonna be good i know it's gonna be good let's hear from natalie

hello good guys my name's natalie i'll keep this brief so i'm calling because i'm expecting my second child which has been a huge blessing and my mother-in-law just called me saying that she's going to try and organize her schedule so she can be here for the birth.

Am I a horrible daughter-in-law for not wanting that to happen?

Want your advice.

I'm keeping me real.

Little backstory.

Basically, anytime my husband is around her, I feel like I'm playing middleman.

And that's the last thing I want to deal with postpartum.

So looking for your advice.

And maybe if you agree with me, how do I let her down gently?

All right.

Thanks.

Bye.

Wow.

No, that's what she signed up for.

When you decide to pop a baby out with a man, with a mama,

she's going to show up.

She's going to be grandmama.

And sometimes she might be annoying.

Not always.

Yeah.

But that's what you sign up for.

You know what I mean?

It's mixing personalities.

When you have a baby, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're not just taking on, you're taking on that other person's family as well.

You know what I mean?

And so you have to be prepared for that.

So you should feel bad because you should, she should be coming.

She should, I don't like that she had to like organize the schedule to get there it should just be i'm coming you know what i mean so i could see that might be part of the problem she has with with mother-in-law you know interesting young kyle yeah see here's the thing i'm gonna flip the scenario like say us guys shot babies out of our dicks right yep and like technically do i wouldn't want my wife's mother to be there looking at a baby coming out of my wiener so i get where she's saying we're like hey show up at the hospital but i don't need you in the room.

You can come after.

I'm okay with that.

I'm okay with setting a parameter.

But again, I've never had a kid, so I don't know.

Young man, I think I agree with Kyle.

Like, if I'm the woman in this situation, I don't need my mother-in-law staring at my pussy.

Like, I just, I don't need it.

I don't need it.

Is that the thing?

She's like, she wants to be in the room?

Is that what?

That's what I heard, right?

Or did I hear that?

I don't think that.

I don't think she was clear.

She just said

she was going to come for the birth.

Doesn't mean she's going to be in there watching.

got it okay so then so then maybe i don't agree with kyle i agreed with kyle when i thought it was that i it's it's tight it's tough look it's you need to respect her of course boundaries are important but respect is equally important it's a tough call it's a tough call yeah

you guys are all wrong

oh enlighten us please time for the husband to step the fuck up

Sounds so true.

A little bit of a soft boy.

Oh.

A little soft-bodied karate.

So true.

Clearly, I mean, she said on the call, right?

She's running interference for moms and for mother-in-law and the son.

Yeah, that's a 15-yard penalty.

Your wife is having your baby.

This is the answer.

Whatever you want.

Whatever you want.

And then it's his job to frame it with his mother in a way that makes her the least hurt.

And you, you make a plan with your wife.

You go, how about she comes the day after?

Yeah.

Or is there a way to have her here, but she's at the house waiting?

Or she's somewhere where you're, and if you're not, then maybe it's, is it when you leave the hospital, then she comes, right?

Like you gotta make, you gotta make your wife comfortable first.

Well, I agree to a certain degree.

Oh, you knew who you laid down with.

That's true.

And you knew his mommy, daddy, mommy, daddy, daughter, whatever, mommy, mommy, son relationships.

She knew the dynamic already.

worried up so she was like i'm still gonna pop a baby out of my butt for you a second one a second one so you knew what time it was the first time yeah and you were like second time you're expecting grown-ups to behave differently people

do change sometimes it's hard to get people out of their their habits his mom his relationship with his mother has been there since he was born yeah so that's that's decades of of whatever you gotta un that you're expecting him to undo just because you're having a child right

It's true.

So yes, to a certain degree, he does have to step up, but also she has to understand that's just life.

That's what families do.

Everything ain't going to be rosy just because you're having a baby.

It's still going to hurt, ain't it?

It's still going to hurt.

That's part of the, if we could alleviate the pain, we would.

Some people take drugs, some people don't.

But that's a part of it.

Mother-in-law showing up, being a pain in the ass, that's part of it.

I just know that I robbed the hospital blind when I had dreams.

Oh, please.

I was like taking ointments, diet wears, beds, car machines,

EKG shit.

He's got a full-on medical staff in his basement, all working for free.

My evening brother was like, You robbed that place fucking blind, kid.

And he's like, Your insurance is paying for all of it.

Yeah.

He's like, They got those good swaddles.

Not a bad idea.

Next time I go to the hospital, I'm going to them drawers.

Okay, here's my woody nuts for the week.

And then, Ben, you can go.

My woody nuts is people who say things like this.

I think I might just like go hang out in Portugal for a bit.

What are you nuts?

Don't talk like that.

You're going to go hang out in the country.

Either book it and go, but don't like be nonchalant

about expensive, fancy things.

Like, we need to hang out in Lisbon.

And like, you still suck.

So, what are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

My woody nuts is I think we've reached a strange time on with censorship on these platforms.

TikTok seems to be in a weird spot, a little bit, I think at this point, over-censored where you'll see something, it's taken down.

Instagram, on the other hand, I'm scrolling in public the other day.

All of a sudden, I see a big breasted woman whip out her whole breast.

And you see the breast, the nipple, and then she attaches the baby's head to her breast.

And that's what's weird i was looking at i was looking at recipe content maybe learning how to make a focaccia or a chicken parmesan and all of a sudden i see this like triple d milky breast just like feeding this young boy and it's like what are you nuts like what are you nuts get this off my feed like imagine if my mom was looking over my shoulder and she's like what kind of fetish do you have yeah like milky boy

Like, no.

What are you nuts?

Yeah, I've seen that feed too, Ben.

Kyle loves that feed.

Sometimes, you know what's crazy about that feed, though, is Ben, that those babies, they're fake babies.

They're using like dolls.

Oh, yeah.

They just want to show up their boobs.

And then their link to their OnlyFans is in the description

in the bio.

Wow.

Oh, my word?

Yeah, they're fake babies.

I've never clicked through.

Wow, this country is going down.

It's a breastfeeding hack.

Wow.

What's your, what are you nuts?

My, what are your nuts is those people that they try to get off the plane like too early

And then they're just standing next to you.

And it's like, dude, what are you doing?

We're not going anywhere for another 30 minutes.

And then they look down at me like I'm nuts.

And I'm like, no, what are you nuts?

And then, yeah, I don't, I hate those people.

Yeah.

Airplanes in general.

Airplanes are a woody and nuts successful for just

nutsness.

My nuts nuts.

My wedding nuts are the people who get so caught up in politics that they forget that we as human beings have a relationship with each other.

We all have a connection.

I think this day and age, and I don't want to speak on politics because I don't want to get myself in trouble.

But outside of politics,

I think we are too distant from each other.

Like

if we understood how much we all have in common, we wouldn't be arguing about BS.

We just wouldn't.

You know, the old racist man in the South hates the black dude over here.

He never met him.

But the news is probably telling you that this guy behaves this way.

And the news is telling me that the old racist man is racist.

Well, maybe he's not racist.

Maybe I should go have a conversation with this old man.

What's your gripe with me?

We don't know that because we're too busy reading into politics and what this outlet is telling you to believe or what that outlet's telling you to believe.

And we spend far less time communicating with each other to realize we all want the same shit.

We all just want to hang out and kick it.

We all just want to go to Portugal.

We all just want to go to Portugal.

We all just want to watch LeBron James play basketball, you guys.

That's all we want to do.

And then we start bickering and fighting.

And there's, it's just so much chaos and confusion in this world.

So I sometimes I want to look at people and go, what are you nuts?

Yeah.

I don't care what

political party you're in.

I don't care.

You know, take care of your family and I'll help you and you help me.

And that's what we're supposed to do.

This world used to be a big village.

Can we hear Dental say, what are your nuts really quick?

What are your nuts?

If I'm a police officer and I find a pound of cocaine on the street, I'm not turning it in.

And what are your nuts?

On this salary?

You're out of your damn mind.

I'm going to take that.

I'm going to flip that.

I'm going to put that on the street.

Put that in my pocket.

Go buy myself a new Corvette.

Yeah, I like the new Corvettes.

Yeah, they look foreign.

But made here 100% in the United States.

I guarantee that.

I stand by that.

Wow.

Wow.

I think they missed that line.

They should have had it in there.

So talent.

Perfect.

So what a talent.

Well, Ben, take a south.

Guys, talk about the pod swap.

Guys, this was an absolute pleasure.

You have to head over to Le Morning After and watch the episode that we just did with LeMorning Kyle.

We had the best time.

We spoke about completely different stuff, which was great.

And so both episodes are awesome and highly recommend listening to their pod.

And guys, before we wrap, anything else you want to plug besides Le Morning After?

Ooh.

You know, just make sure you tune into the Emmys.

Hopefully I win.

win yes let's go home if i don't win just tune in to see what kind of weird faces i make that might cause a scene and then you know snl movie saturday night saturday night comes out october 11th so please set your calendars and it's a great film directed by jason reitman with a hell of a cast so make sure you check that out yeah love it uh we've been doing more stand-up recently which has been really fun so look out for whenever we do a show next nice and yeah listening to the morning after and uh that'd be awesome awesome.

Love it.

This is so fun, guys.

Seriously.

Yeah, we had the best.

Thank you, Kyle.

And folks, this episode, as always, five stars.

If not, what are you nuts?

Don't leave us a two-star review.

Leave us five stars.

It's what this episode deserves.

Listen to us Mondays and Thursdays.

Follow us on Good Guys on TikTok, Good Guys on Instagram.

Watch us on Josh's YouTube.

Listen to us, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen and watch it.

Double the views.

Double the views for us, folks.

We'll see you next time, guys.

Thanks so much.

Yeah.

Oh, Ben, I forgot to ask you, have you seen the movie The Whale?

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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