Beesin' and Cheesin'

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys, they're not the great guys.

We're just the good, the good, the good guys.

Muzzle morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

I am sitting here and I am waiting for a big delivery.

And it's not just Ben's beautiful bod.

It is though, Josh, and it's also the Applebee's two for 25 deal. Can you believe it's back, Josh? And they have brand new items.
Chicken parm fettuccine, big bang and burger. My juicy fat ass.
That's right, Josh. You get all of those things today at Applebee's.
I got it delivered. I didn't even know Applebee's delivered.
It came right to my door. It was so stinking beautiful.
And let me tell you, Josh, I saved it because I want to eat it with you. Remember, we will mention the other brand's name.
When we ate food together last time I was in New York. Yeah.
And it was great, even though I had like some gluten irritation and my brain started to melt. That won't happen here.
That won't happen here. Hopefully.
We'll see, honestly. Yeah, shout out Jade! Thank you, Jade, from

Dear Media! Breaking the Applebee!

Three cheers

for the red, white, and gay. Oh my god,

I just got hit with a flavor

cloud to the face.

Josh, that's probably the breadstick.

There's a breadstick, honestly, that comes

with that chicken parm fettuccine.

Ooh, ooh, let me show you mine. Ooh, ooh,

ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. It's kind of like we're at a bar mitzvah and we're hoisting the chair.
Ha, va, negula, ha, va, negula, ha, va, negula, Applebee's $2,425. Can you imagine getting Applebee's to cater your bar mitzvah? Unbelievable.
Unbelievable. I mean, this is, look, and I know that they must have like a catering, Josh, department that gives you even better than the bees.
And the bees is already, how much better can the bees get? But when you go to Applebee's catering, you just know that stuff is off the charts. Like at corporate, they're eating a

different level of the bees. They're eating the bees knees.
I want to go to Apple Bees corporate. I think I make sense there.
I would love to go to Apple Bees corporate. Josh, if you work to Apple Bees, okay, what would you do? Listen, I'm the fun bar manager, okay? I'm behind there.
I'm like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. I'm shaking up sangrias and whatnot.
You know there's a couple cougars at the bar who's giving me eyes. And I'm letting them believe I could be interested while I have a wife and kids at home.
But it keeps me alive. It's fun.
It's fun. It's the promise that it might be, but it never will.
I think i think josh i could have two you let me know what you think of this i could either have a boring job i think i would be great at like licensing and like putting together new big applebee's but then oh you're thinking you'd work at applebee's corporate i'm over here the bar manager this is what i think of myself corporate but then also i just saying, I also think I would make a kick-ass maitre d'. You come in, by the way, you slip me a five.
I'm getting you a seat. If you're not coming in with any cash in hand, you can go back to your car, okay? You can go back to your car.
Any little, small, five bucks. You're getting a great table.
I'm even giving you a soda on me. We're going to rank it.
We're going to, there's going to be

different rewards based on how

much money you give me. You give me a 20, that

two for 25 just turned into a four for

25. Don't tell corporate, okay? You give

me a hundred. Yeah, let's steal

from corporate.

Who knows? You as a

maitre d', I see you

charging for mints and

toothpicks.

I see you seeing someone with

a little something in their tooth. You go, listen,

I don't know. I see you charging for mints and toothpicks.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I see you seeing someone with a little something in their tooth.
You go, listen, I might have something that can help you, and it might be $3. Just put it right here.
Put it right here, and the wooden stick is yours. I see me and a cook named Anthony ripping darts outside of the local Applebee's.

We're talking about our life, our struggles. And then I go, I got to get back to the fryer.

I got a couple of boneless wings in there.

I got to get them out.

What would you say are the percentage chance of if your name is Anthony, your God-given

name is Anthony, that you end up being a line cook?

What are the chances? Likely. Likely.
like like likely right like very very high very high and such a great chef's name chef anthony fantastic yeah anthony rest in peace rest in peace yeah he loved apple bees i can tell you that he loved it absolutely and the And the truth is, you can say anything about the dead. Of course.
And Robin Williams loved Applebee's. They loved it.
They loved it. And let me tell you, I heard that Joan Rivers choked on the two for 25 right before she passed.
It's true. She was eating that fettuccine.
They told her you can't eat within eight hours. She's like, I have to get the two for 25 before I go under.
Dead. Yes.
Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was a B head. Okay.
This guy said water to wine more like water to a banging burger. Who wants wine? You could be.
Oh my God. I'd have a burger.
And Josh, the unlimited, let's talk about the unlimited sodas. Okay.
You go, this is a classic establishment. You go, you order a beautiful, you order a beautiful soda.
And that those free refills are just coming. They're coming.
They're coming. They're coming.
All of a sudden I've had 15 diet Pepsis. All of a sudden, I go to the bathroom.
I come back. It's fantastic.
It's the best. Yeah, I'm banging.
Diet Pepsis. Sierra Mist.
Does that still exist? Does it become starry? I think it's starry. I still don't know.
I don't know. It's so confusing.
Delish PepsiCo shout out. Gosh, we need a great night.

OK, let's talk about this night out.

It's not just Applebee's, right?

Applebee's is a part of our beautiful night.

We're going, me and you, we're going to suburbia.

OK, that's where the great bees live.

We're going to New Jersey, the great state of New Jersey.

Me and you, we're driving out there.

We're listening to what on the radio?

What are we listening to as we drive out? Smash Mouth, Taylor Swift, Creed on repeat. By the way, there was a Creed concert last week with Daughtry and I missed it.
I wanted to literally kill myself. I literally saw that.
I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe that I missed it. We're listening to Creed.
Can you take me to Applebee's? And we're driving down. We're driving down.
We see Applebee's in the distance, but we think to ourselves, Josh, do we want to eat Applebee's before we go to the movies or do we want to go to the movies before we eat Applebee's? It's a question, an age old question. Do you eat before or after the movies? I think, look, the truth of the matter is you're going to get tired in the movie.
Eat before. Yes.
That's what I say. Eat before.
Get a nice base layer. Then, you know, you can do a little snackies at the movie theater, but you're not going to go in because you want if you're going to go in substantial, you want to fill the belly with the bees.
And then maybe you sprinkle a little, you know, movie theater snacks after just a dusting. So you're the type of person you're seeing a Broadway show.
You're seeing Othello Denzel. You're in the city.
You're eating at five o'clock before. That would just fit into my, my feeding window.
I just think you get out at nine o'clock. Who wants to eat then? I know.
It's funny. Now that I think about it, I really, I'm asleep most nights.
you text me at five 30 PT. I'm not seeing it till the next day.
I'm, I'm like phone down at eight 30. Wow.
Cause Ruby goes down at eight 15. And if I don't get my Z's or he gets a Z's, I don't get my Z's.
So I'm out. I'm out.
So yeah, the Othello I'm probably eating before I'm going in, I'm catching the first 10 minutes and then I'm going home to go to sleep. I think it's really wild to eat past nine o'clock.
Like I remember it being a thing and I know I'm showing my age and I like to think of myself as a youngish middle-aged guy, but something about eating late is as Meshuggah as Mesh meshuggah gets it's so crazy and i distinctly remember a time where like if i got a reservation before 10 p.m i was a loser like you're going i guess it's like you're going out so you know that like your night isn't really starting until 12 right like that's when that made sense but if dinner is the last part of your night it must be latest 7 30 i really my latest dinner these days i love eating at 5 30 6 6 30 it's the only way it's fantastic it's the best and the truth of the matter is too is that i mean in la new york's such a later town but in la everything's shut down When you're, you know, you're 23 years old, you're, you know, you just had a show with your name in it. You go, you meet up with a club promoter named Buster, right? And he's been out at all these day parties.
He's got these Saudi billionaires with him and all these randos out here from, you know, Dayton, you know, some of Dayton's best have been here. The CEO of Applebee's.
They're all killing it. And he goes, come on, we're going to go Katsuya before we're going to do a little spicy tuna, crispy rice.
I go, can't we go to the bees? I'm not trying to go waste my time at katsuya oh my god the two for 25

table side table side oh my god they need a partner with like marquee day club so you can get a two for 25 on your tab holy smokes more like bees service should we should we open should we start eating some this? It smells so good and mine's hot. I'm ready.
Oh, baby. So as you said, the two for 25 deal, you get an appetizer and two entrees.
So what did I do? And this is only for research purposes. I did two, two for 25 deals.
So I got two appetizers. Oh, and I got my two entrees.
I just started. Should we start with the apps? Should we start with an app? Let's do our app of choice.
I bought an extra app just because I had to try it. It looked too good.
Let's do our app of choice, Josh. Our app of choice.
Drum roll, please. Boneless effing wings, my boy.
serious yeah are you serious i saw that but i had to go with with my absolute favorite josh what's my favorite what's my favorite yeah spinach artichoke of course you're a classic of course yeah you love america let me give this a nice mix olivia you getting in here in here? Are you getting dirty? Wow, look at that. They're so good.
Look at that. God bless.
God bless. And Josh, look at this generous portion of chips.
Are you kidding me with this? Is this not? That's a nice portion. This is a nice portion of chips.
And you know what? Those chips, you can tell they're going to have good mouthfeel. Of course.
And listen to this crunch. You ready for this? This is going to be a nice ASMR moment.
Listen to this crunch. Let me hear it.
I don't want to drop all my chips. One, two, three.
Oh, my God. Like I just stepped on a crack and broke my mother's back.
That type of crack. Ready for this? Sorry, Mom.
I didn't mean for you to catch a stray. Man.
Sorry, Ava. And we all know that it's been bruised with the back issues.
Yeah. Look at this.
Look at that. Nice.
Look at that. Hell yes.
Spinach. Oh, my God.
It's so genius. And if they wanted to, they could really make a spinach and artichoke soup, Josh, and not change the recipe.
You talk about a two for 25. Imagine getting a spinach artichoke dip and a spinach artichoke soup.
I'm going to be 225 by the end of this episode. I've been 225s until I was 13.

Unbelievable.

Okay, I got another app here from Aptown.

And these are called a little classic called Onion Rings.

Heard of them?

Oh, my God.

Heard of them?

Josh, is there anything better in the whole world? It literally makes you want to play the lottery.

When you go to a diner, you order. Maybe it's a grilled cheese.
Maybe it's chicken fingers. You order a side of French fries, but they give you two loose onion rings.
It's unbelievable. And they're a little too crispy because someone was willy-nilly with the fryer.
Correct. I like when I can taste, and this isn't Applebee's, but you go to those renegade diners in the middle of wherever the hell in New York, and you go, they haven't changed the oil in some time, and I'm fine with it.
Yeah, absolutely. No, you're good with it.
Whatever disease is coming my way, I wished it. It's welcome.
I wished it, Josh. All right, so you're trying those onion rings, and Josh, I'm sorry.
I can't wait. I'm digging into my entree.
I got this chicken parm fettuccine. Like, are you kidding me? And it comes with a gorgeous, juicy red stick.
Oh, my God. What? Why? Can you imagine you're going to some, you know, someplace you're trying to be a poser, right? You know, your wife's been giving you a hard time.
You usually do the bees, but but your wife's like, oh, it's her anniversary. You're like, yeah, let's go to the B's.
And so she makes you go to some Michelin star BS restaurant. Would you hate if they gave you a breadstick? Would you hate if you were having amikase sushi at that one spot in the Japanese subway terminal? And after that incredible piece of mackerel, they go, and here's a breadstick.
Whoever says no to one. No one, Josh, no one says no to a breadstick.
That's why look at this gorgeous breadstick. It's fantastic.
It came. I didn't order it.
I ordered a chicken parm fettuccine and it came right on top. How easy is that? Josh, I talk so much like Ina these days.
It's unbelievable. She's in my, she's in my, my God.
I know, right? These are special onion rings. Applebee's Olivia approves.
Do you want me to wait for you to try this chicken bar pettuccine? I'll jump in right now. How good does it feel, Ben, and I know that you're going to agree, to be a great eating partner? Because you know how some people are not good eating partners.
Oh, I know. My wife.
My wife. Oh, yeah.
Say more about that. I order everything.
That's why I order so much food. Because I want to try things.
But she doesn't want to try anything. That said, she tried this chicken parm fettuccine from Applebee's.
And even she said that it was a 10 out of 10. Because the bees are it.
That's big. So Claudia approved.
Because she's a picky poly. It's Turdy approved.
She's a picky poly. But you know, she loves, she doesn't want that over the top Michelin star omakase.
She's not dazzled by that. She's truly dazzled by a breadstick.
She's dazzled by a breadstick. Right.
As am I. All right, folks, look, I'm going to try this gorgeous fettuccine.
I think if Christopher Nolan puts me in another movie, I'm taking him to Applebee's to celebrate. As you should.
As you should. I'm going to say, Sir Chris, well, let's go to Sir B's.
Sir Chris, let's go to Sir B's. Let's give it a taste.
Mmm. Oh.
Whoa. Oh.
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me kidding me baby girl what's your name let me talk to you let me buy you a drink at applebee's sheesh i'm just saying t-pain if you sue us honestly you got no chill you're misguided t-pain by the way you know that when i i used to do all these college gigs. I think I was like on the same tour, T-Pain.
By the way, you know that when I used to do all these college gigs,

I think I was on the same tour as T-Pain because I would go do Northeastern.

I'd go do, you know, wherever the heck, SUNY Oneonta,

and they'd be like, you know, we just had T-Pain last week.

I'd be like, we should tour together.

Could you imagine that?

The T-Pain Jocpec tour?

Doubleheader?

Honestly. Honestly, I love it.
I see it. I totally see it.
It's kind of goals. It's kind of goals.
Josh, that was so good. That was so delicious.
You know what else Applebee's would be good for? A good like, I remember growing up in the city, there was an Applebee's in Times Square. And it was right by this movie theater.
So we would go to the movies. We'd go buy one movie.
We'd see three. And then we'd hit up the bees, right?

And we're knocking down, you know, the boneless nugs, you know, the boneless wings. We're hitting a couple appies.
And I remember like at 17, 18, I remember I went to go see the movie Scream.

I think Scream 2 or 3. Okay.
Scary. with some really lovely girls that were out of my league from queens and they were like what should we do after this and i was like clearly we should go to applebee's and the bees and while we never get you know we never kept in touch it was a nice afternoon it was a nice afternoon josh is applebee's i you obviously have it on the West Coast, but I feel like it's a very East Coast thing.
Or maybe it's just a nationwide thing. Because let me tell you, when I was growing up, it was a destination to go to the bees.
This was a beautiful night. We're going to the mall, catching a bees in the mall.
That's it. That was like the all-time bees,, the bees in the mall where you have an AMC.
You're getting you're getting ready for that beautiful movie. I don't know what we're seeing.
Maybe I've seen School of Rock for the fourth time and I was grabbing a gorgeous bees meal. And let me tell you, this this Applebee's has been been here all along.
And the fact that I hadn't had it until recently again. Now I'm hooked.
I've had it five times this week. Applebee's is it.
Yeah, I had it yesterday. I went to the one in Long Beach with my sister-in-law.
And she was like, and listen, my sister-in-law, well-known, not a nice person. Sorry, Taylor.
She's the best. But she loves, like, this is her jam to the 10th power.

We always joke with Taylor that it's like, the girl loves a hot dog.

Like, she loves good American continental fare, chicken parmesan, you know, fettuccine, totally up her alley.

And she was like, this is so good.

I was like, yeah, Taylor, I only take you to the best places.

So good. Applebee's is it, folks.
I'm telling you, you got to try the two for 25 deal. You get an app, you get two entrees.
It's the perfect date, mate. As my wife would say, it's a great grab a slice place.
Do you know that story, Josh? Grab a slice? No. So, and I got a lot of shit for this.
My, one of my best friends, his name is Jack. I've known him since i'm 13 years old his girlfriend at the time i don't know i guess we're 20 years old love to grab a slice she would just like her date night was like let's grab two slices and one time i turned to claudia and i was like why can't you just want to grab a slice like ashley and she's like and that put me in the doghouse.
And so literally ever since she'll like, when she grabs a slice of pizza, she's like, is

this grabbing a slice that's good enough for you?

What do you think is like, can you think, I, like, I have a memory of spilling champagne

all over Paige in Paris at some very rich person's table at a club. And I just was like, we're getting a divorce.
Like she just looked at me in a way. I was like, I think, I don't think she thinks of me the same way anymore.
And it was just me joshing it. I was just being kooky and zany.
And an arm went as she was pulling back her champagne and she was just saturate. You know when someone comes back from getting hit with some liquid and they go...
She was like, oh yes. Yes.
It took me a second. My brain froze.
It took me a second. Yes.
Yes. It was so bad.
And literally to the person who was paying for the table, looked at us and said, you guys should go. Like, you should go handle that.
And I was like, okay, leave me. I don't want to be alone with her.
Yeah. Yeah, that's really tough.
By the way, really quick. I'm eating a penne.
It's a penne pasta. It's a chicken and andouille sausage.
Holy smokes. It's wild and fun.
With what, Josh? With another free breadstick. Are you kidding me? These people are so generous at Applebee's.
Okay, some places charge you for bread. You don't even order the bread.
They give you the bread. Can you imagine charging for bread? I mean, I've seen it.
Nothing could be less American. It's just not right.
It's

just not nice. If you're smart, sure, charge for the dips.
But there's nothing classier than you

go to a nice restaurant like the B's and you get a free bread basket. Bread baskets are it.
You need

it. A nice side roll with your dinner.
You need it, Josh. You need it.
Absolutely. It's good.
Tell us about it. Tell me about it.
Listen, I don't know what the word and doing means, but it's in doing something to me. Freaking good, dude.
And the penne pasta, dude, it's just like, I just think penne, it's a superior noodle. There's a little bit of cream in the sauce.
It's also got some nice veggies on there. So I do feel like this is a well-rounded meal.
Oh, my God, Applebee's. You don't re-up this sponsorship after? You're nuts.
Oh, my God. No one has ever shilled like this for another company in their life.
We're really giving. We're really giving.
And we're going to stop in a minute. No, we're really giving.
I'm just kidding. But, Josh, also, we should note this was delivered.
It's hard to get food like this delivered and have it still hold up and be delicious. And that's what it was.
So true. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Applebee's.
Folks, we're talking to you today about a very, very special cause. It's Alex Scott's vision, folks.
Let me talk to you about this origin story, okay? Alexandra Alex Scott was diagnosed with neuroblastoma before her first birthday. At four years old, she held her first fundraiser in her front yard and raised over $2,000.

By the time she passed away at age eight, so sad, she'd raised over $1 million, leaving a lasting legacy of hope in the fight against childhood cancer. And it grew from a lemonade stand to a national foundation.
For 21 years, Applebee's and Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation have partnered together to raise over $18 million to help fund research into getting rid of childhood cancer. And folks, you might be thinking, how do I help? How do I join the mission? The answer is the Strawberry Lemonade Sunshine.
Every time you buy a Strawberry Lemon Sunshine from $7.14 through 831. A 50 cent donation is made to Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation.
It's dine and only. So you got to go.
But if you're not at the bees, what are you nuts? Every lemonade makes a difference. And look, you're going to have the lemonade anyway.
Do it during these times. Boom.
You're doing a good thing. Nothing better than that.
Anyone with a kid knows it's one of the scariest, hardest thing when a parent, when a family has to go through this to endure that and to know that foundations like this exist to help to hopefully, God willing, one day eradicate this. It's super meaningful.
And I think it's a wonderful, wonderful foundation. And folks, you can also donate by buying gift cards.
It's not just the 50 cents when you go in store. Maybe you can't go in store, right? You can get gift cards.
You can also donate online and a dollar, $5, $10, $20, maybe big mothers a little bit more. Yeah.
But you give what you can. What are you buying? The boo-boos with your money? No.
What do you give to something that matters?

Give to something that matters, folks.

Alex Scott's vision,

the strawberry lemon sunshine.

It's so easy.

You drink it and you're donating.

Or if you can't drink it

and you just want to donate,

gift cards or donate online.

And folks, National Lemonade Day

is August 20th.

And to celebrate National Lemonade Day,

you should go get a strawberry lemon sunshine and support the fight against childhood cancer. After Applebee's, after this podcast, what are we doing tonight? What are you doing? What's happening? What are the kids doing? What's up? It's a lot.
The summer is a lot. I did not plan having a baby during the summer.
Well, because I've never I've always fall and winter babies and it's much better. You're in the swing of things.
Now, it's camp. It's things.
Everything's in limbo. It's all...
We'll play it by ear. Will we? Can't we just set it? It's a lot of driving.
It's a lot of taking care of kids. We out here.
It's a lot. I'm turning on a fan because eating makes me hot.
Yeah, eating makes me hot too. It's an incredibly labor-intensive sport.
Eating is a sport, especially the way that we do it, folks. I'm telling you, eating is a sport.
What else should we talk about while Josh is gone? Josh ordered, I just want to say, I'm not calling him a schnurro, but they asked one appetizer, two entrees. This man, what did he order? The whole

menu? I got one extra

appetizer. And one extra

entree.

It's two for 25. You

messed up the deal. Where's your second entree?

Oh, true. No, it's fine.

It's here. It's here.

It's a banging burger, dude.

I know you're going to demolish that thing as soon

as you get off camera. The second

I get off camera, I'm eating it.

I'm eating it good. It's going to be dripping down my face.
Yeah, it's a new banging burger, brother. Banging burger.
I'm going to bang while I have my banging burger. Hey.
I think I should save this. I have something I want to talk about, but maybe I'll save it to the next episode.
What else was I going to tell you? Oh, so tell me about

you're in the Hamptons now. Your sister-in-law is making sourdough bread every day.
You're doing your dinners. It's 4th of July.
It's so much going on. Are you going to make any pilgrimages back into the city or are you pretty much like Hamptons set? So I made pilgrimage recently for a Briss BHBHBH friend of ours.
I had a beautiful son. We drove in.
Ruby went in for a doctor's appointment. And so we went in and we'll go in, but not for anything that we don't need to.
I'm trying to spend as much time out here as possible. You mentioned that having an infant in the summer in LA is tough.
I got to tell you the polar opposite here. Having an infant in New York in summer is a blessing because if it was any other season, it would be much, much, much, much, much harder.
Much harder. Also, the weather is too unpredictable.
Like for you, your winter's gorgeous. Your spring, honestly, your summer's probably the least gorgeous because it gets hotter.
Does it get hotter or it stays sort of in range? It's pretty perfect. It's fabulous.
It's just the scheduling with the kids and their thing. My son, you'll love this.
He went to LMU basketball camp for a week. Love it.
Love it. Proper college basketball camp.
I went to a basketball camp a couple of years. It was fantastic.
It was actually Stefan Marbury's basketball camp. You walk in, you get a nice signed autograph by stefan marbury they throw you into a good three on three i was obsessed i was obsessed so fun so fun but yeah the so yeah we're we're hamptons and i must mention josh i ordered applebee's to the hamptons they got it out here too the The bees worldwide.
That's so hot. Are you doing

any of the Hamptony things? What is it?

The surf lodge? And why is that place

a thing? That's the real happening spot,

right? Yeah, so surf

lodge is in Montauk. We're not in Montauk.

We're a little bit closer to the city

than that. But normally, without Ruby,

we're going... Broke! No, I'm kidding.

Is there a hierarchy?

Is Montauk literally the Bel Air and where you are is beverly hills or what is it i have no idea what i'm saying i i would say that the the hierarchy look there are great areas in all of them there's one road called dune road that actually goes from west yeah tell me south through bridge dune road wherever you are if you're on the beach, Josh, it's a trillion dollars. It doesn't matter what Hampton you're in.
If you are beachfront and you have a house on the beach, you are going to spend at least $15 million for a shack. It doesn't matter where you are.
And in terms of- Are people renting, like if they want, if you're people, not you, but people renting a really nice house near the water in Hampton, I would imagine it's 50 to 100,000 a month over the summer. If they're renting on the beach, Josh, you would throw up how much.
It's nowhere near 50 to 100,000 a month. It's probably like 500,000 a month.
No joke. No joke.
No joke. And I would say that there are very, very few people in any that would rent a house on the water in the Hamptons.
It just doesn't make sense because if you're going to spend five hundred thousand dollars a month to be on the water, you might as well just put a down payment on a house. Like it's such a ludicrous amount of money.
Yeah. You can buy like 10 Kias.
Yeah. You, you can buy so many two for 25.
The most. That's actually, what is that math? Is that a hundred thousand? No, that would be five.
Oh, here we go. You can buy 25,000 two for 25.
That's right. And that's a college education for you.
I double a major and minor that's right that's absolutely right so yeah the hierarchy really goes beach and then in and then when you talk about town southampton is amazing montauk is amazing west hampton like has its thing because it's closest to the city is it like the most desirable no but it's the shortest drive so that's pretty desirable to still go to a the happening spot always Surf Lodge. Josh, you would love it.
Surf Lodge is just great music, great food. They'll bring you a lobster roll at the table.
Okay. And is it like, I've heard it's like 50 bucks for guac and chips.
It's expensive for sure. But like when you get a table, think about a nightclub, right? You can, you have a table minimum and you can use it towards food.
So even if the guac is 50 bucks, you don't care. It's better than ordering a shot that you're not going to drink, you know? So like, yeah, it's priced for a table and it's outside, which is just a vibe.
Like being outside, there's something about dancing and partying outside. That's fun.
So normally most summers we go this summer, we haven't gone yet. I don't know if we're going to go.
Like I don't want to leave Ruby to go get plastered. That seems like a little nuts.
And you have to get plastered like you don't feel like you're getting your value if you're not you're driving so far like if the house is in Montauk if I lived in Montauk and it was down the road, no problem, right? But I'm like a solid hour from it. God, the Hampton stretches from West to Montauk.
It could take you two hours just to get from one part of the Hamptons to the other. So if I'm driving out there, which I'm not driving, if I'm moving out there.
Yeah, I'm getting silly. Now, what do you think about Jon Stewart has this, which I love, because he grew up going to the Jersey Shore like I did.

And he goes, the problem with the Hamptons and why the Jersey Shore is superior is the Hamptons is everyone you hate in the city wearing shorts in the woods.

I think you said this last summer.

I probably did.

And what I will tell you is that if you want to, I think I said the same thing last summer.

If you want to find those people, you can find them.

Like no question.

But if you want to find regular folk, there's, I'd say that 90% of the Hamptons are people

that live here full time.

Like there are plenty of people that live here full time.

Remy Bader lives in the Hamptons full time.

Her family's just from West Hampton.

So like you have just people that live here and then you have the public beaches that are still unbelievably gorgeous and you need to pay, it's like $500 a year and you get access to the beach. Like if you want to find, if you just want your beach town, it exists.
It does. What I love about the Jersey Shore is that they have so many of those great dive bar, beach bars that's my jam men with tattoos cut off jean shorts lifetime fitness parking tickets crystal meth what is what is this what is this on the shin a shin tat yeah that's what it is a nice shin tat so yeah you see less of those but it's funny montauk used to be that it used to be that i used to go and if i told this story last summer i'm still eating me off i know you are i came here from the gym oh well i actually went to the gym this morning as well josh i'll tell you that story later okay um montauk used to be the beach town like it used to not be built up there was no surf lodge i would go out there with my parents we'd stay at like a bed and breakfast it was really like it was rust it was more rustic it was rustic and it was fun it was still beautiful water and now it's basically ruined it's ruined and it's like yeah it's ruined wow okay and so then tell me the lifestyle with like the Ina and the stores and, you know, the great Joey Comast is always talking about like his bespoke homemade jams from a place called Jamaganset.
I think we're all just like trying to get a little bit of Ina's aura. Like that's what it is.
Ina is just such a vibe. Like I'll go past this place called Loaves and Fishes.
It's a, it's like a grocery store. They have great fish, but that like it's been on Barefoot Contessa and I see it and I'm like, Oh my God, I have to go to Loaves and Fishes.
It's just, it's just the lore, Josh. It's the vibe.
It's the greenery. It's the hydrangeas.
It's the cooking for Jeffrey. It's all of that, you know? Yes.
And Joey Camasta is the gay Ina. He is.
Yes. He's the he's the guy.
Guyna Camastia. And I think he had Guyna Camastia, by the way.
Oh, my too. What a crossover.
Oh, my God.

Clip that.

I hope he sees it.

I actually saw him today take.

It's funny.

He made sure to tell us that it was a sugar-free cracker, a sugar-free, gluten-free cracker

with a scoop of chicken salad and a dollop of caviar.

I saw that.

Wow.

People are obsessed with this place, Round Swamp Farms.

It got really popular from Bethany Frankel, who I won't comment on.

And honestly, Josh, every time I try and go, it's closed.

They're open like Tuesday to Wednesday.

Is this her chicken salad thing?

Yeah.

I don't like the way she chews.

Josh, do you know how expensive this place is?

But shout out Bethany, she's a queen.

Yeah, but we don't like the way that she chews, but she's do you know how much this chicken salad is tell the people like 40 bucks for like eight ounces like a little container four ounces yeah insane for a container it's like you go there you see like prepared i once went in saw like these prepared chicken fingers i thought claudia love them. It's just like six chicken fingers, $39.
It's nuts. It's like, what? What's happening here? But then you realize all of these farms, they're sitting on such primo real estate.
All of these farms sell goods, but they don't need to make money on their goods. So I'm thinking to myself, why is Ransom so expensive? Why they need to mark up, they need to make 99% on their chicken salad, Josh.
Why isn't it free considering they're sitting on 300 million in land? I don't know. It becomes a joke.
I did tell you recently, and I mean, nothing could be more hack than to complain about Air One pricing. But still, I was driving home and I was going through Culver City and they have an Erwan in Culver City.
For anyone who doesn't know where you've been, but it's this incredible, super expensive, healthy market. But really, they're bread and butter and it is flipping delicious is their hot bar where they have.
And it's just so rare i don't know it there's more

versions of it in the city because you have a zabar citarella whatever but la we are we it truly doesn't exist and there's nothing better than food being prepared that's good and solid and that you can mix and match so they have like a two entree or i'm sorry they have like a uh You know, an entree...

Two for 25.

If only.

They couldn't shine Applebee's shoes. But they have like a plate, a combo plate, right? So it's two sides, one entree.
So I got a, maybe a six ounce piece of salmon, a side of mac and cheese, so good. And their famous buffalo cauliflower.
Now, arguably, the most expensive thing on this plate is the salmon. But, you know, I didn't get any crazy sides.
Forty bucks. Oh! Forty bucks.
That is a crime. Killed me.
That's a crime. That's a crime.
That's a crime. Because the two sides that you got cost them 50 cents like that's so little

that's no good and meanwhile we're here two entrees and an appetizer for 25 come on come on josh come on i know but yeah these places are too expensive that said their food is delicious And it just begs the question, why aren't there more delicious places that have high quality food that are cheaper? Like, it's unfortunate that there really is that, like, it's such a wide gap, but the gap is real. Like, the reason I'm shopping at Citarella here is because I know every single time I go to buy their overpriced salmon, it's going to be fresh and delicious.
I have, I have gone to King Cullen or Stop and Shop, sorry, bought their salmon and it just wasn't. That's not to say that it isn't always, but for me, if I'm going out of my way to go to a grocery store to cook something, I come back and the fish isn't fresh.
Like I, and maybe it's just the marketing, but I know that if I'm overpaying for this fish, it's going to be really fucking fresh. Otherwise, I'm never going back.
No, in LA, I think this is in general, there's always probably in your town an elevated supermarket and that's where you go for fish and that's where you go sometimes for meat. I think you can like ground beef or chicken from a regular supermarket.
But if you want to get fish and usually if you want to get good produce, you're going to go to like these higher end supermarkets. My favorite thing is we have a supermarket called Vons.
I think it's in the Safeway family. And they deep fry fried chicken that's off the chain, my boy.
Wow my god do i love bringing this to a party they go where did you get this this is what did you do you find a place you go on yelp i go better vons oh oh my god there's no better feeling oh that's funny it's like claudia loves the rotisserie chicken from ory's it's like a specialty grocer in the city yeah so good she just walks out with that gorgeous rotiss nothing better how do you can't make a rotisserie chicken at home because i don't you don't have a rotisserie it is the one thing that's something that i think a lot of people get from grocery stores or rotis, right?

You like how I shorten that rotis?

Or Costco.

A good rotis.

Oh, true.

Oh, man.

But Josh, have you ever been to a grocery store and you see that the fish is on sale?

Sure.

What are you, nuts?

You can't do that.

You can't mark down fish and you can't buy marked down fish. The only reason something is marked down is because it's on its way out.
You can't. And you can barely trust the fact that they're freezing these things overnight.
Once it's defrosted, Josh, it's not going and getting refrozen. It's out.
It's done. It's kaput.
The great Ruthie Kirsch, my surrogate grandmother, may her memory be a blessing, would always say about house guests, they're like fish. After they're in the house a few days, it smells.
I was like, yeah. So true.
Is your refrigerator also just like one step closer to the garbage? Because that's what my refrigerator is. Like these days I'm cooking something.
And then if I put it away, I'm just forgetting to eat it. I just am.
Like I really, these days I need to cook exactly what I want to eat in that sitting. Otherwise my leftovers, I might as well just throw them away.
They are one step closer. I put them in the fridge.
They go through like a quarantine period. And then I'm like, okay, it's been five days.
I can throw them away now and not feel bad about it. I do.
I feel so bad, but I am guilty of, I think the statistics for food waste in general is off the charts in this country, but I feel terrible about it, but I do it too. And I love a clean fridge and we get there like by saturday afternoon and then sunday my wife goes we have three kids like we need to load up i'm like do we it looks so nice a couple bevs condiments can't we just fucking leave it and then we go and we stock it up there's nothing nicer than a minimalist fridge a minimalist everything when you can see the organization of your beverages, it's just such a great feeling.
So good. Yeah.
So good. It's why I respect your wife, our little sweeper.
She does not allow for clutter, this woman. No, she doesn't.
No, she doesn't. She doesn't seem like a minimalist when it comes to, like, I know she loves a good bag or, like, does she have a big closet? Yeah, she's a high-low queen.
Like, she loves it. She only spends money on things that she feels cannot be replaced by things that are cheaper.
Like, she loves a great bag. She loves the way a great bag looks, makes her feel, all those things.
And you can't replace a great bag with a cheap bag. You just can't.
Right. But you can replace expensive aloe leggings with something target.
You know, you can replace those things. Like there's, she doesn't fall for marketing gimmicks, Josh.
She's a smart woman. So yeah, she has like, she only spends money on things that she feels that she needs to.
Love that. Love that part.
High low. Love it for all of us.
What about, did you hear Pete Davidson is having a baby with Elsie Hewitt, his new beau? I did see this, Josh. I did.
Have you met Pete? I know Pete a little bit and I know Elsie a little bit. So I have some thoughts that might differ from what other people think because I know them.
I'm with them I mean like for like for like friendly like the way that I'm friendly exactly right yes I DMed Chrissy D when I saw that he did he replaced Val and I'm like great job Chris he's like thanks man so we're back you know me and him we're in cahoots we're back I had lunch with Pete once and I went I told And I told the story, and he invited me to his father's memorial. We're closer than you and Chrissy.
But not by much. Sure.
It was years ago. And Elsie I shot a couple things with.
And I guess, you know, when she made the announcement, people, as they do, were kind of like, of like lc you know has dated some famous dudes and so i think people were like oh like you know you locked one down people were saying and sure i just but i was like but it and olivia tell me your thoughts it felt like a real double standard because p Pete is certainly known for dating famous people. So they both clearly, you know, to a certain extent, they have a little bit of a type and they found each other.
They're both lovely, nice people. They seem very happy.
And so what you would too, like you would have, you know, Pete's dating record. If you could, you would have hers.
If you other they're having a kid like I just think it's kind of hack to To give them a hard time about it. What am I tripping? What do you think? No, it's just crazy that Pete has reached the level He dated so many famous actresses that he became the one that a famous actress or a celebrity would want to date You know know, like he like when it's a full circle where now he's the guy that somebody's proud of dating versus the narrative was always how did he how did Pete get Ariana or how did Pete get Kim Kardashian? And now it's how did she get Pete? It's crazy.
It's crazy the way that the world works. So, yeah, I don't know.
They got each other. I think it's great.
I think it's great for him. I'm pro love, Josh.
I'm pro love. What do you think, Olivia? I think it's like a double standard, no? Yeah, I think it's a bit of a double standard too.
And I just think like, it's unfair, I think, to compare either of them to one another and like hold them. I don't know, like, can they not just like both be on the same level and like like each other and that's what matters and their personalities like they mesh well together whereas like it's always like oh you're doing this for you know some level of attention or something right like I think that it's a little unfair to both of them historically to like say that but yeah I think it's a double standard to put that on her when that's also what like he's, you know, experienced.
But they, you know, when you can date fun, exciting, powerful people, like I think a lot of people would gladly make that choice. You know, like a guy like me, if I wasn't with the love of my life, the great page, I would be dating a CVS pharmacy tech.
Like Olivia would be too famous for me. You know, like that's me.
I'm old school, babe. But not everyone's cut from that cloth.
No, you have to be, you have to be confident to be cut from that cloth. And you have to want just not like a life.
I think like so in the spotlight, like what happens when you're, they know this, when it's celebrity on celebrity, your spotlight, your PR, your that's it. They're going to make a story about you.
But I have to assume, I'm sure that this isn't for everyone. I'm generalizing, but it's a lot.
Like you're, you're talking, you're competing against each other. I got this role.
I got this role. I got this role.
Oh, I didn't get this. Oh, I got this.
Oh, I didn't get this. I got this.
And I have to assume that just because that's natural progression in Hollywood, that some people are going to make it and some people aren't, that would drive serious resentment, serious resentment. So again, generalizing, but that's why I think that these things are tough.
Do you guys also think, I also have to say, whatever you think, not making judgment judgment on the people themselves, but you have to be a very special kind of person in Lauren Sanchez to be with Jeff Bezos, right? To be with the second richest man in the world and to be a part of that lifestyle. Like, I think when people kind of have a track record of dating powerful people, it's because a certain thing is required of their spouse, of their partner.

Yeah.

That they seem equipped to do. And like you probably, I'm saying you out there, any of like the naysayers, you probably couldn't hang.
I couldn't hang. If I was dating, you know, Ina or Martha Stewart, I don't know, but like, who's super powerful.
Like, you know what I was dating... Oprah.
Yeah. It requires a lot.
It comes full circle. I would love to.
Oh my God. I'd be so lucky.
But Oprah is such a legend. She can kind of like...
Who's someone who's acting? Jennifer Aniston? Yeah. Jennifer Aniston.
Yeah. Or Sidney Sweeney even.
I can handle that too much. I'm not flying to Monaco.
I have yoga. I'm busy.
It takes a lot to be Lauren Sanchez, and people are probably rolling their eyes. It's 100% true.
You have to be completely numb. Again, don't know them generalizing.
You have to be completely numb to meeting anyone cool. You cannot fangirl for a second, if I had to guess, because the second that you are impressed by somebody that you're meeting, you're not cool anymore.
And it's weird. It's like once you're in the room with all of these people, like sure, you can congratulate them on their accomplishments, whatever it may be.
But to be real friends is not to be a fan. You can't be a friend and a real diehard, crazy poster on the wall fan.
And I'm sure that she's meeting legends every second of every day. So yeah, it takes somebody.
It also, it takes a lot of fun out of it when it's that, right? And it also takes a lot of fun out of, I would think just like your routine being so gaudy, all of a sudden it's not fun i don't want it that's what i'm saying jeff bezos stop dming me i don't want it yeah i would love to see you be his man partner but yeah sliding and you have to stand up to a man who never hears no like powerful people like that never ever ever hear no and you have to be like nah that doesn't work't work for me. And that's powerful.
And again, I don't know him. It's basically impossible not to be a narcissist.
How can you be a billionaire non-narcissist like Bezos? You can't. It's impossible.
So dating a narcissist, worst nightmare. Should we get to our what are you nutsuts? Yeah.
Our What Are You Nuts moment of

the week are our gripes with people, places, and things both big and small, whatever, sticking in your craw. Go for it, Ben.
Honestly, my What Are You Nuts is you not going to Applebee's and getting the two for 25 deal. They have the new chicken parm fettuccine.
They have the new Big Bang and Burger. Josh had 19 other things, even though they told him to order.
You are a That hurts my feelings.

That's the beautiful spinach artichoke dip that I had.

Ooh, it was tasty. Josh got the onion rings.
Folks, you got to go to the B's because the B's is the B's needs. Two for 25, two entrees, one app.
If not, what are you, nuts? Totally agree about all those things. I literally got one extra appetizer, and I honored the deal as it's listed.
I'm like this jerk who's just willy nilly with it. Where's the bacon burger, Ben? I'm just messing.
I'm just joshing. It was so good.
I'm sweating. It was so good.
My what are you nuts moment is the other day I saw a boyfriend and a girlfriend in their mid-20s sharing a Lime rental scooter. Hun, what are you nuts? The only thing nerdier than renting a scooter is having your partner on it with you.
You guys are going to flip over the handlebars. It's going to be a terrible accident.
What are you nuts? You also talk about a narcissist. I'm sorry.
It's the same way that I feel about riding on the back of a motorcycle. The only fun part about riding a motorcycle is driving.
The only fun part about the electric scooter is driving. All of it.
Everything else is just danger. So you're hopping on the back and you're just risking your life with no thrill.
That's a what are you nuts? You know what else?

What are you nuts, Josh?

Not giving this episode five stars would be a what are you nuts?

Because I got to tell you, this is one hell of an episode.

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Go to Applebee's, okay?

Two for 25 deal.

Mondays and Thursdays, folks.

We will see you next time.

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