Hot But Bald

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

the good guys.

Monz and Rones, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

There's a lot of podcasts out there.

There's one called Girls Gone Bible, and ours is called Guys Gone Gay.

It's been Sabrina.

Girls Gone Bible sounds great.

I'm in.

And by the way, that is 100% our Patreon.

We are launching.

It is going to be gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

I can't wait.

Finally.

Josh, I have three words for you.

Cubital tunnel tunnel syndrome.

Okay.

Okay.

I just got back from the doctor because I've told you about this before, or if I haven't, I'm going to tell you again.

Over the last like couple of months, you know, I'll go to sleep and randomly at two o'clock in the morning, I'll wake up, my hands are in pain, and they're asleep.

And that's not good.

That's not good.

Whether I'm on my side, whether I'm on my back, whether no matter where I am, I wake up, middle of the night, hands hurt, they're asleep.

I get that too.

Okay, so you have cubital tunnel syndrome.

No, the fuck I don't.

Yes, you do.

I don't.

Affected by your ulnar nerve.

I went in today.

I went to the doctor.

I have a what are you nuts about the doctor that I will share later, but I went into the doctor.

They did x-rays on my hands.

The x-rays looked perfect.

He's like, why don't you come a little closer, bend your arms, tilt your hands,

and let me know when they fall asleep and where.

And I said, they're asleep here, here, here, here.

He said, cubital.

tunnel syndrome ulnar nerve season and what he did was he gave me two splints.

Okay.

So I have to sleep in splints.

God, if that doesn't affect my sexual performance, I don't know what will.

Yeah, no good.

No good.

Me sleeping in arm splints.

And in case I want to do something more drastic, he recommended surgery.

So we're going to try PT.

I think we do physical therapy, but I just wanted to update you.

Cubital tunnel syndrome.

It sounds like you have the same Josh.

You wake up in the middle of the night, hands in pain and asleep?

Not in pain, asleep.

and but is that you could be sleeping on your hand though that would be different yeah but sometimes i'll be on my back and i'll just like wake up like t-rex arms and but they wake up then i wake them up and i go back to bed yeah so that is what it is eventually maybe

it will be more than that and it'll hurt like i wake up and they're in pain and i have to walk around the house until they like wake themselves back up and then i lay down you have to walk around the house to wake up your arms you can't wiggle it out my G?

No, no, no, no.

You can't, you can't wiggle it out.

I thought you could.

I like, or my left hand, kind of, my right hand, I have to physically stand up.

It's a nightmare that I had this beautiful, what a fantastic mid to late 80s Jewish doctor, one of the most gorgeous moustaches you've ever seen in your life.

I trusted this man with my life.

He looked at me and said, cubital tunnel syndrome.

I said,

yeah, it is.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Operate today.

Yeah.

Okay.

I want it now.

Cubital tunnel syndrome.

It's amazing that I will look at that 80-year-old doctor with the utmost trust and belief.

And I will also look at a nurse practitioner who's three years past her degree and go, cut me open, nurse.

Like I don't.

100%.

I don't care.

That's me.

I'm with you.

I am pro cut me open.

Yeah.

Any excuse to be cut open.

Cut me open.

Fix it.

Now.

I love recovery.

Now.

I like.

say more.

Yeah, it checks me out, bro.

Like, I need a hard stop.

I need recovery time from a major surgery.

I need a nice 10-day dose of Keflex.

I'm talking a nice skin antibiotic, something to fight staph.

And I want to be on IBU600 every six to eight hours.

And I want to be on a nice

something mild.

Norco, five milligram, 325 acetaminophen, something cute.

We used to call them bananas back in the day because they were cutie little yellow pills.

I was eat them like TikToks.

So good to be that warm itchy feeling.

The best.

Welcome on a relapse.

Something mild, like a low dose of crack.

Just like just small, nothing.

I also love a recovery.

It's fantastic.

It's the ultimate comeback story.

You know what Ruby's been doing recently?

Such a hard tangent?

He's been sticking his tongue out like this.

So Jordan.

My son is Jordan.

So Michael.

MJ.

MJ.

So cool.

So sick.

I just thought of that with the comeback story.

How's his binky journey going?

He's off it.

He's been zero passy for almost six weeks.

Yeah.

And I got to tell you, Josh, this boy, of course, like now that I say it out loud,

he'll regress.

Wow, has he had a week?

He has had a week, Josh, like 7 to 6.30, consistent.

Hot.

Which is just like when you get,

I don't know, a six hour straight junk.

You know way better than me.

You're in, you're in way deeper.

You're a new human.

You're fucking superhuman when you get six straight hours of sleep.

Except when your fucking hands wake you up from your ulnar nerve cubital tunnel syndrome.

That really was what it was.

I got my first full night.

I'm like, okay, Ruby, Ruby slept like a champ.

I was up every hour with my

hands so that's what pushed me to go in it was like ruby's killing it i'm not killing it josh i'm the opposite of killing it my son is killing it i should be killing it too

yeah but ruby's great meyer's been going to bed at eight and having stretches till four which is how

gorgeous huge yeah huge And usually, like, if it's one wake up for the night, if it's more than one wake-up, I try to do one of them.

If it's only one, I go, Paige, you have my respect.

And

I let Paige handle it.

But I'll tell you what,

I've been waking up at times for the 4 a.m.

feeding, and I don't know what's been happening the last week, and I'm sure I'll shoot myself in the foot with this.

But after that, we've been canoodling around 5 a.m.

and it's fucking tense.

Wow.

That's amazing.

But

you have a bit of a glow about you.

I've noticed.

Oh, my God.

I wish I was.

This is the problem.

We're asking dear media to do quick turn edits, and I can't shut up.

I know, right?

Good luck.

It's all right.

Olivia knows what to cut out.

I feel like Olivia has a good cancel radar.

Like the other day, we had to turn around and edit super quick.

And I was like, hey, Olivia, just...

was thinking maybe we should cut out the part where Ben and I were doing accents and she goes that was cut out an hour ago

Thanks, Olivia.

Of course.

Just so you know, Olivia can do a nice Russian accent.

And by the way, these accents can be found on Patreon, okay?

It's going to be us gay, naked, doing accents.

Josh, this is the, it would be the best.

You need it.

I know.

You need it.

But do we, my thought on the Patreon, though, is like, are we putting energy into something that's not building the main two episode show?

Totally.

It's just like our humor wasn't built for this day and age, Josh.

We're too raunchy.

We're too raunchy.

Our brains go deep and we have to slow down, horse.

Slow yourself.

The best joke, the best joke is here.

It's here, Josh.

It can't be here.

Can't be here.

So true.

So true.

It can't be here.

It could be there, maybe.

Can you do like a release form where it's like, if you subscribe to Patreon, you and everybody you know cannot, will not share it and it cannot will not lead to a cancellation is there some

like some type of binding document that what you hear stays here

i

and you would think yes in the current world we're living in where i don't know if you saw this clip the other day but trump was giving a speech and he goes you know there's now two n-words you can't say and everyone goes

oh my god what's this what's the second one He goes, nuclear and the other one.

I was like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's insane.

That's insane and hysterical.

Oh, my God.

Nuts.

But yeah, you'd think, I don't know.

I really don't know.

Claudia turned to me the other day.

She's like, I saw a bunch of clips of you being nuts.

Are you okay?

I'm like,

we're trying things out.

What?

We're trying things out.

We were being slightly political.

Yeah, Kimmel and carlson she's like are you okay i'm like we're just a b testing we're just seeing we're just seeing what's going on i mean what i it's funny because i of course most people liked it and then you know we're a podcast where 90 to 95 percent of it isn't political and then here and there we give a hot take and

some and then of course there was like one or two messages of like i agree with josh i don't agree with ben i'm unfollowing or i agree with ben i don't agree with josh i'm unfollowing like and I was like, listen, dude, this is the problem.

If a podcast that is 5% political that you love, you disagree with someone's take that you can't listen anymore.

Like, this is exactly what we're talking about.

It's also so interesting, the difference between platforms.

Like, she found it on TikTok and the comments on TikTok are terrible.

But you go to Instagram and they're totally normal and fine.

Right.

It's like on TikTok, like, I don't know, I don't know who, like, a very different audience is seeing our clips on TikTok than is on Instagram, which is also great.

Like that's great.

I've always thought like, oh, were we, because we, if you don't know, we post the same clips on both.

So are you seeing the same thing twice?

And the answer is no.

Those folks on TikTok are very different from the ones on Instagram, which is fantastic.

But yeah, it's just interesting that like one platform

is not so, oh, I don't agree with that.

I'm leaving.

And the other is, I disagree with that, I'm leaving, which, by the way, was like one person.

It's fine.

He can kiss my ass.

He can kiss my ass, okay?

Yes.

Yeah.

And yeah, we have hot takes.

We're going to give a hot take every now and then.

And then 95% of the show is going to be Ozempic and Jake Shane.

Not that Jake Shane needs Ozempic.

We need Ozempic.

Jake Shane's perfect.

And I don't know.

And cubital tunnels and Joey Camasta and Ulnar Nerves and Splint

4 a.m.

feeds and canoodling right after.

Fuck, man.

I know I shouldn't be sharing that.

Can you imagine if you shared that?

Claudia wouldn't talk to you for a week.

Absolutely.

I didn't say it.

You always, you asked me, so how are things?

I'm like, they're great.

So how are you?

Have you gotten an edict or a doctrine from Claudia since the pod came out of like, less us?

I just know exactly what does and doesn't bother her.

And I'm not willing to bother her.

It's not worth it.

It's not worth it.

Fair enough.

So every everything is great.

She is my queen and that's that on that.

But what about like we were talking about our wife's pregnant nipples?

Like that was

gold.

Look, yes, yes, look, look.

There are certain times where the joke is worth the potential roast.

Okay.

Absolutely.

But so yeah, if anything, if it's if it's joking in nature, for sure, we can push those boundaries.

Absolutely.

I wish that I could, we've spoken about this before.

I wish I could milk Ruby.

Imagine me, just milk coming down my shoulders, throwing my son right on my breast.

Milk coming down your shoulders?

Where's the milk coming from?

Your ears?

You've never heard Paige say that it comes down her shoulder?

The letdown comes.

You feel it from the shoulder.

At least Claude does.

The letdown comes from up here.

Perhaps the milk is being stored right in her right, her left shoulder blade.

I've never heard that phrase.

Neither has Olivia.

And Olivia's olivia's been olivia's from the midwest the let down yeah i was gonna say we we

we invented it in cincinnati the letdown what um you've never heard the letdown i've heard about like the milk coming in and like i suppose it comes from above but the way that you said it made it sound like you were gonna put ruby on your shoulder and have him suckle i don't think it comes from above

he's he's suckling right on the teeth but it the letdown is coming from higher i think it's coming somewhere in the upper breast, maybe up here.

I agree.

It's probably not in the shoulder.

It's probably not

muscular.

Muscular surface.

So

isn't it created by the mammary glands?

Yes.

No clue.

Which is under here.

I mean, which would start in the pit region and then make its way to come from here.

Up and down.

Right into the...

What does Chat GPT say?

I used Google AI.

Sorry.

but it's breast milk is produced in the mammary glands located in the breasts of women and I think yeah it's coming from like right here area perhaps under the pit and then kind of pulled forward into the duct interesting okay so maybe it's more of an adjacent feeling than a down that said yeah I wish Ruby would suck on my breast Josh no

No,

my mom,

that's an old Barbara Peck joke when people would ask if she breastfed and she's like, no, I just wanted to be friends.

Shout out, mom.

But yeah, I mean, look, everyone's breastfeeding journey is beautiful and perfect exactly the way you do it.

We just have mostly done formula and it makes our life like super easy as far as me being able to help.

So I just

shake that bottle up,

throw it in his mouth.

Oh, man.

And when he gives me that, when your baby gives you that good belch, like it's time, like that good belch comes and you go, you're going back to bed, my boy.

And they go.

And when they look gorgeously milk drunk, like there's no better feeling.

Sometimes you finish a feed and they look like a little too awake.

You know, like, you want more?

And sometimes they just look nice and milk drunk and you know they're going to sleep until the cows come home.

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Speaking of the cows coming home, tomorrow is Yum Kipper, or it starts tonight, but it is

the day of atonement.

And then it ends, as we all know, after a 25-hour fast with a break fast of all break fasts.

What's your going to to look like?

So here's what it's going to look like, but then I want to talk about what it should look like.

Okay.

It's going to look like bagels, locks, cream cheese, tuna, whitefish,

my apartment.

My apartment, our families are coming.

Beautiful Ruby will be there.

He might be asleep.

No, he'll go to sleep after.

It'll be wonderful.

And are you keeping Ruby, you mentioned this in the other pod, but I don't think we got to it because we were having such technical difficulties with the great fibula.

But are you keeping Ruby away or are people allowed to like, like

at breakfast, can people be holding him, passing him around, loving him up?

Holding him, passing around, loving him up.

There is no, yeah, no, we're, we're trying our best to like make sure that you wash your hands, that you are like, you're not like sneezing all over him.

Of course.

But no, we're definitely like family members for sure are holding him and hugging him and kissing him and all that good stuff.

Brusinava are right in that neck.

But yeah, we're doing bagel, box, cream cheese, whitefish, tuna, herring and cream for my mom, probably some sable, thinly sliced onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, you name it.

It's fantastic.

The reason why I say versus what it should be is because, can you think, Josh, of a worse way to break a 25-hour fast than with that meal?

Because it feels like breakfast.

It's no, it's just like if we were fasting, and I know you intermittent fast, and I know the purpose of the fast is not health-related necessarily.

But when you break a fast, the first thing you should be having is a fucking bottle of electrolytes, like an element or something like that.

And I think you'd want protein.

Otherwise, I'm going to eat 16 bagels.

I'm never going to be full.

And then I'm going to eat a huge headache and I'm going to fall asleep.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

I'm just saying that if I ended up breaking my fast with grilled chicken and rice and

vegetable, I would just feel much better.

It's not tradition, so we won't do it.

But you'd feel better eating that over bagel and locks every time.

That's true.

That's true.

I guess I just feel specifically like the way that my break fast works, I immediately have a cup of coffee.

That's first, because I haven't had coffee.

and I have a raging headache by the end of the day from the caffeine withdrawal.

I have a a cup of coffee.

So all of a sudden, it's seven o'clock.

I'm having full caffeinated coffee.

And my brain's like, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, where's the bagels?

Then I go to the bagels, toast a bagel.

I'll go scallion cream cheese, locks, onions, capers, dill, maybe a thinly sliced tomato.

Fantastic.

And then I'll go in the tuna whitefish direction second.

I love that.

I mean, first of all, I got to say, like, and I was tempted to do it, and then I got on there too early.

But, you know, we're a big fan of the Great Gold Belly here, who are not a sponsor, but they should be.

And they,

I was, the level of yum kippur

like

spreads and platters that they had.

I, I went on there hungry last night and just wanted to order everything.

And then in addition, I wanted to order a junior's cheesecake and Venero's cannolis so bad and rainbow cookies, like all things we do not get out here.

And a spread of bagels bagels from Essebagel.

Oh my God.

We need all of that.

Junior's cheesecake.

I remember this was years ago, probably like six years ago.

I was at Junior's with both of my brothers-in-law, Zach and Zach.

And I remember Olivia's husband, Zach,

like he was eating the cheesecake.

All of a sudden, he turned to us and he's like, I wish I could get this.

Like he, and he lives in the city.

He's like, I wish I could have this all the time.

I wish there was a way to get it without being in the restaurant.

And I turned to him, like, have you ever heard of Seamless?

Like, it's not a gold belly.

They're on Seamless.

Order yourself a slice of cheesecake.

What is Seamless?

Seamless is like an Uber Eats, but for the city or Grubhub.

You guys have Grubhub?

Yeah, we do DoorDash mostly, right?

DoorDash.

Okay.

Same thing.

It's available.

Like, it's literally like you can go home and get it.

He's like, I wish there was a way I could have Junior Cheesecake at home.

I'm like, you can.

Like,

your wish is my command.

Yeah, this is, this is possible.

This is Manhattan in 2020, whatever.

But yeah, Junior's cheesecake fucks.

God, is that fantastic?

So good.

And Essa bagels great.

I end up picking.

I'm again, I understand that I'm blessed and fortunate to have so many wonderful bagel places that I can pick different things from different places.

But, Josh, let me tell you, I don't get bagels, locks, cream cheese all from one place.

Of course not.

That'd be crazy.

The best bagels don't also have the best locks.

But the best bagels from

the sables, right?

Sables is, in my opinion, number one.

Of course.

Number one.

This is Japanese-run, Japanese knife work, Jewish bellies.

This is like a combo.

Yes.

It's like they say in show business: have a Jew write it and a Gentile perform it.

I love it.

This is a winning strategy.

Keep the actors British and the writers Yiddish.

This is a winning strategy.

Exactly.

And that is Sables.

Yeah, if you walk in, the people there are looking a little too Jewish cutting your locks.

No.

Good.

The Japanese.

So true.

You need it.

So yeah, Sables, definitely the best locks.

Jumbo bagel, wonderful bagel.

A-plus bagel.

Tal also makes a great bagel.

The jumbo tuna is fantastic.

You can order the Ben Soffer Celebrity Sandwich, which is a bagel, tuna, lettuce, and onion.

It is fantastic.

Absolutely fantastic.

Are you doing a breakfast?

Are you fasting?

That should be my first question.

I probably won't.

It's hard with the kids.

I should, and I'm always like tempted to do it, but I...

Because we're having our dear family friends, one of my wife's closest friends, and they have three boys boys too, and they live about an hour north of us.

And it's really hard with their kids for them to ever come down to the beach.

And they're actually going to come down to the beach because all the kids have off for Yom Kippur.

So it will be a little bit hard because I would be the only one fasting and we're going to be around food and doing the whole thing, but I should.

I never really have.

But I mean, it wouldn't be that hard.

I'm used to fasting.

I was going to say, like, and I know that you sometimes disagree with my interpretations of Judaism, but I always think that as long as you're doing something, also, if you want to do nothing, do nothing.

But I think as long as you're doing something, it's great.

And considering you like fasting for health reasons, I don't see why you couldn't do like a water and electrolyte fast.

That's still more than not fasting.

Like, like that sounds great.

It's also like healthy.

I feel like you'd finish the day feeling great.

It would be fucking hard sitting at lunch, drinking an element, but I don't know.

Yeah, no, I think it could be great.

I've embraced, I'm getting one year I want, one year I want you to be in the city.

You'll tell me when.

We'll go to Shul the night before.

It's lovely.

Only an hour.

It's Kolnidra.

And then the next day we go to Shul again, and we have deep thought in our own native tongue.

What's our native tongue?

Brooklyn?

Hebrew is not our native tongue.

English is no, in our own native tongue.

Okay, good.

Like, like I sit in shul sure like you you listen to and for those that don't know shul synagogue they're all the same thing i just say shul it's just it's the same term i go

people are speaking in hebrew singing in hebrew and i'm 100 talking to god in english sure i just am i'm just there in i can communicate

that way and

bear my soul and say sorry and repent.

And I, I love Yom Kippur.

When I was younger, I hated Yom Kippur because I only saw the negatives.

You can't eat,

so boring, all this stuff.

And it's like now, it's like, okay, it gives me, I turn off my phone for 25 hours.

So it gives me like a social media reset.

It gives me a food reset, which is, I guess, why I was saying, I wish I broke fast on fucking chicken so that I didn't then like just like go back into my bad habits.

But, and then I sit there and I really think about about the year like what could i have done better what could i have done worse it's nice because it's rush hashan of the new year was just last week and it's like a very at least for me it's like a very spiritual reset that i absolutely love i love it should we get into a story yeah Did you know that the bleff bun trend fueled by celebs like Ariana Grande and Anne Hathaway is the free way to get an eye lift and a new face?

Between the red curtain and the red carpet, the classic slicked back bun has stood the style test of time, and now it's taking on a new role.

Slicked back buns and ponytails have long been a fashion staple, particularly among the famous Hollywood ingenuous.

Now, this straightforward up-do with a clean girl aesthetic is serving a new function, becoming a way to give people a new face.

So, I guess these buns are pulled so tight, it's kind of like a cheap temporary facelift/slash leftover plastic, which sorry, ladies, you're late.

11K and it was worth every penny.

Totally.

And you don't get a bad thing.

Thank you, Dr.

Rob.

And you don't get a fucking headache and you don't lose.

Aren't they going to lose their hair, Josh?

Aren't eventually these front hairs just going to get pulled out?

Well, Allura has dubbed the phenomenon the bleph bun, a bun so taut that it is similar effects to a blephroplasty and or an eyelid lift.

I couldn't do that.

I can't even wear a hat.

I know.

Imagine how much my fucking head would hurt with that.

Oh, my God.

With my hair being pulled?

Although, too sensitive.

Do you like when someone like takes a big, like a big chunk of your hair and just kind of pulls back and like puts some like nice, strong tension on your scalp?

It makes me feel like a dog.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Oh, sorry.

No, that actually sounded really gnarly.

I didn't mean it like that.

I meant like that.

Oh, Olivia.

Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

It was gross.

I don't know.

I don't feel like that at all.

Hey, listen, no shame here.

I'm trying to think, like, is this even like

Ben?

No, it would hurt.

It will give you traction alopecia, though, after a period of time, is what it's called.

So, if you, uh, right, that's right.

Yeah, it must.

Yeah, I'm gonna bleep.

You must lose the front

has like she has had that in the past, so that's why she's got like you're not bleeping that.

We're not bleeping that.

This is hot guss.

Everybody knows that, though.

Why are you bleeping it, though, if everyone knows that?

I guess everybody knows that.

Do you love you, Jojo?

Do you have the inside Jojo?

Jojo friend of the show.

We love Jojo.

We love Jojo.

And I was watching Dancing with the Stars the other night, and she was front and center.

She got a great seat.

Wow.

Has she been on it?

I don't know if she's on it.

I don't know if she's been on it, but she was sitting watching it.

And

this is a great season.

You don't watch, right?

No.

It's pretty entertaining, Josh.

And I have to say, the star, Andy Grammer.

Wow.

I have such a resentment against you, Ben.

And hear me out that you watch so much Drek.

and you never seen.

I watch what my wife watches.

You watch so much trash and you've never seen the whackness.

You're going to the wrong source.

Okay.

First of all.

No, I'm not.

I'm going into shul tomorrow repenting for not watching the whackness.

That's first, okay?

You let me, I'll explain to you why I get so hurt by that, but keep going.

You should be hurt by that because my ADD, I forget about it and it's not right.

And you mean more to me than me not watching that movie, and I really want to watch that movie.

Well, I don't want to blame my wife, but I only watch TV with her.

It's not, you're not blaming your.

I'm not, I will not dare let you blame the wonderful Claudia because I know you're there eating your two pounds of yogurt parfait, watching Glee be like, Jane Lynch, you did it again, honey.

Okay, I know you, you little dirt.

By the way, Jane Lynch, can we get her on the podcast?

She is, she's my North Star, this woman.

I'll tell you why the whackness thing, and it's, how do I say this?

There's, it's, I, I promise

I will watch it.

Here's the two re, it's twofold.

And here's the first thing, because I think people,

how do I say this?

I made that movie when I was 21 and it came out and it's me and one of the greatest actors alive, Ben Kingsley, my favorite actor.

And it's just us for the whole movie.

And it's really good movie.

And it was like, we won Sundance.

It was like, and it's like the thing that now when people see me in Oppenheimer or,

you know, The Last of Us or these like cooler things where people are like, whoa, that's not you.

It's like anyone who knows knows me.

Like my close friends are like, oh, like that was the moment for you at 21 where you were like, this is my North Star.

Like this is the thing you're trying for, Josh, even if, you know, you have three-year blocks where you do, you know, iCarly and

a bunch of vines.

Like, and so

the people who love me know it.

And the last thing I'll say is, if it were like a 1750s period drama about fucking, you know, figuring out gravity, I'd be like, Ben, it's a good movie, but it's not for you.

It's about 90s New York yids.

It could not be more for you.

I just texted Claudia.

I am watching The Wackness tomorrow.

You'll like it.

You'll like it.

I hope.

I am watching The Wackness tomorrow.

And the next time we talk about this podcast, I will have seen The Wackness.

God bless you.

And I want everybody to know that I'm not watching it because Josh told me to watch it.

I'm watching it because I do.

I'm watching it because I want to watch it.

And all that I have to say, Josh, is while I have not watched The Whackness, you've never had a Sprint Society either.

That's funny.

So let's trade, okay?

Fair enough.

No, no, seriously.

They do look good.

I see that packaging.

I just want to slam one.

I want to slam the one you made with Craig Connover.

It was fucking hot.

But look, I'm...

Could you imagine?

I'm deeply, I'm horrified.

I'm watching it.

What if you do one with the Dr.

Craig Connover in South Carolina and it's a spritz with peptides?

I love it.

Or just like a beautiful non-alf with you.

We're going to do it.

We're going to do it up.

Fuck, I need to watch the whackness.

It's been on my list.

It's okay.

Sometimes you need just a little bit of a reminder.

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I love Warby Parker.

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Should we get to some moron mail?

Yeah.

Moron mail.

Moron mail.

I don't know if this is good or bad.

And

So we can cut this out, Ben, but you tell me.

With love and appreciation, we love every single moron who listens.

We have a listener.

His name is Eliyahu.

We love you, Eliyahu, and we thank you for listening.

Eliyahu, you are clogging our moron male speakpipe box because you leave 10 to 40 messages a week that are all at the limit.

They are fun musings about the show, your observations and whatnot, but they're not really things we can play on the show.

So we love you.

We appreciate you.

Please keep listening.

Maybe not 40 a week, maybe one a week.

A quick check-in, Eliyahu.

I think that's totally appropriate.

Eliyahu, Hana V, we love you.

Okay, we absolutely love you.

What we could also do, Eliahu, is perhaps you take your talents to the written form.

Perhaps you send an email, a long email.

I think that works.

Okay, this first one's from Steph.

Hey, good guys.

I'll be quick.

I am getting married end of October, and I had a little bit of a dilemma and wanted some advice.

So, at first, I did not want to do a first look with my fiancé.

I wanted the first time he saw me to be when I walked down the aisle.

However, our photographer told us that we could do that, but then we would have to miss portions of our cocktail hour for photos.

And I refuse to miss the cocktail hour.

It's going to be the best part.

So, what would you guys do?

First look or cocktail hour?

Thanks.

Love you.

Bye.

I will say, by the way, if you want to leave us a message, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.

Keep it brief.

Brevity's key.

We don't want to hear your what are you nutses.

Especially if your name is Eliyahu.

But we love you.

But we love you.

I will say, I too, and we had the greatest photographers at our wedding, like obsessed with the photos.

We too had to not do the cocktail hour to take pictures.

And I feel like this should be,

I feel like there's a better solve for this because I feel like that's the norm, that you just miss it because you have to take photos with all your groomsmen and close family and whatnot.

I also think it's nice, though, to make a bit of an entrance.

Like if you just like went straight from the ceremony into the, or what's the order of operations that you're talking about?

Because depending on the type of wedding.

Like, are you saying that you do first look, show up, cocktails, wedding?

Is that the order of operations?

We did first look and then, yeah, and then you basically separate and then you have the wedding ceremony and then it goes into an hour cocktail party after the dinner that usually is all of the groomsmen and bridesmaids, family members, close family taking photos with the bride and groom.

Got it.

So we do things differently.

We do first look and pictures first.

early like for an eight o'clock or for a six o'clock wedding you're showing up at one if you're a groomsman right You have photos, you get ready, whatever.

And then we did that too.

And then typically the first thing you do

is

the ceremony.

Maybe you can grab a drink.

Maybe somebody has like champagne glasses or whatever.

You grab something, you sit down and you go into the ceremony.

And after the ceremony, typically food.

I guess there's also the reverse where there's food first.

There are a couple of different ways to do it.

I'm trying to remember what we did, but right after the ceremony, you go into what's called the yeichlud room which is where you're supposed to have sex people really they don't but it's like okay you got married now have a baby that's like the custom you go in there for 15 minutes the ultra religious but even even the non-ultra religious still they go into a room they don't have sex no one just tells no one no one reformed is doing that no reform jew is doing that so maybe no reform i know plenty of conservative jews that do that though okay like followed by the yichlud room so it's not only super religious i think it's just like are you following like a more traditional wedding archetype?

But you don't, it's more like ceremonial in nature.

But what I'm saying is that you then do end up missing like some of the cocktail hour.

And to me, I like making an entrance.

I like everybody's there.

Maybe everybody's had a drink.

People are like having a nice time.

You don't want to go into a stale room with everybody else.

So I kind of like, I don't like that you miss your whole cocktail hour.

Maybe it's, maybe you miss the first half hour and then you pop in and you still get a cocktail and a loose weenie.

But yeah, I don't know, right?

Yeah, I agree.

I think that's fair, Olivia.

I like making an entrance.

Yeah, I actually, some of my friends just got married at the beginning of August, and I liked the way that they did their like photo cocktail hour situation.

I think they did a first look prior to the ceremony and like got some of their photos as a couple and with the bridal party.

But then during the cocktail hour, they went off and like did their photos, you know, some extra photos with people.

But what they ended up doing was like kind of posting up in a certain part of the garden.

And the photographer just kept calling people from the cocktail hour over who are like in different groups of the couple's life to like get photos with multiple people from the wedding part or just from like the guests.

So that way like they were still kind of involved while people are having drinks and little hors d'oeuvres.

The bride and groom can grab one if they want.

There's like a little bit of mingling.

But then they went back to like their separate spaces, did like a change into their reception outfits and then came out so they still had the grand entrance but they also got to enjoy the cocktail hour and get their pictures so i thought that was kind of a unique way to lay out the evening and inclusive yeah lovely i love shaking things up well this next one's from anonymous hi good guys mazil on your two new baby boys i wanted to hear what you guys would do if you were in a situation that i am in so my husband and i decided to start trying for a baby this year and we waited until we felt like we were truly ready financially.

We have all of our shit together.

And

we get to our eight-week appointment and find not one,

not two,

but three babies inside of me.

This was a spontaneous pregnancy.

Wow.

We did not do IVF, not that it matters.

IVF is amazing, but usually you have more of a chance.

How would you react if you were sitting with your wife and this news was given to you?

Thanks.

If I was sitting with my wife, I would wait for her to react first.

I think you got to be really, really, really

unbelievably happy and feel blessed.

I know.

I'm not saying it's not so hard and such a crazy life change and such a financial burden and all of these things.

You will figure it out.

And I think to think anything other than blessed would only hurt you.

I don't know.

I have like that like, dumb expression that worrying about tomorrow's troubles only ruins today's peace.

And I, I like that saying sometimes people think that I'm like proselytizing, but I like that.

And overall, I think that it will be amazing and it will be really fucking hard.

But you're, it's kind of like hitting the lottery.

Oh, just put a sheet in my mouth.

Insane.

Honestly, as I'm thinking through it, again, you have a blessing, but now

for your first, you have three sleep schedules at once?

I think not all going to wake up at the same time.

Are they?

I wonder how they're like,

how their rhythms work.

Yes, yeah.

Like, how do they work with each other?

Like, I wonder

shit, and you have three cribs?

It's going to be nuts.

It's nuts.

I would say do everything in your power to hire staff.

Like

everything in your power.

Like if you are remotely, if you have some savings, like this is the time.

This is the time to tap into the emergency fund and throw a little bit of money at it if you can or enlist your whole family.

Like it just help, help, help, help.

But the great thing is, is like

everything

is going to get better at the same time.

So

I think you give over to the fact that it is going to be an insane year and you just live with it.

You put everything on pause as much as you can and you zero in on these kids and you just,

it's okay if your house is a mess.

It's okay if your car is a mess.

It's okay

if your life is a mess.

If those three babies are breathing and fed and reasonably happy,

A plus, son.

Do not be hard on yourself for for another thing.

If those three souls are alive and breathing and happy, a plus, triple plus.

Totally.

Holy smokes.

This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify, folks.

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This next one's from

not so negative Nancy.

Hi, good guys.

Huge fan, and I need your advice.

So my high school friends and I have stayed close for over 20 years, but lately when I get together with them, all they do is talk about how miserable their lives are.

One is dealing with marriage issues.

Another husband had an affair.

There's deaths in families, just horrible life things happening to them.

And of of course I want to be supportive and see them and hang out with them, but all they do is go around the table at dinner talking about how awful their lives are to the point where I feel like I can't share anything happy that's going on with me because I don't want to make them feel bad.

But my life is going great.

I've got a great relationship, my husband with my husband.

We've got healthy kids.

I'm happy, but I feel like I can't share that because all they do is share their misery.

Am I a terrible friend that I don't want to hang out with them anymore?

I mean, I leave the dinners feeling so negative and down.

It just sucks out the joy of everything.

But I also want to be supportive of them.

So what should I do?

Thanks.

I don't think that you are the problem at all.

I think that it's great to be a good friend and be an ear to these people, but old friend doesn't necessarily

need to mean lifelong friend.

I think that you should, you sound like an optimist.

Optimists crave optimists.

Otherwise, like you get dragged down.

And I'm not saying totally cut them off, but you should definitely surround yourself with people that make you, that make you happy.

You can still call them, check in, but yeah, if I had friends that were just like a 100% drain on me, I would not see them the same frequency that I once did.

Yeah, so.

Maybe a little distance.

Sorry, but I think that's right.

Here's my strategy.

At dinner, as each of these people are going into their tough, hard life, you order something for the table.

Okay?

So Donna's going off about her divorce.

You go, we'll have the spinach artichoke dip.

That will be a natural end to her bitching.

So 10 minutes in, Donna,

hold that thought.

Look.

And then the spinach artichoke dip, as though from the heavens lands on the table.

Everyone's like, is this good?

Or what?

I don't know when the last time was I had this.

Suddenly, subject changed.

New subject.

We're by Donna.

And then, you know, Janine wants to go off about her husband who cheats.

We'll have the chocolate lava cake.

10 minutes in.

You're relying on quick service, Josh.

Quick service.

But I like it.

Yeah, I like it.

I think it's a sound sound with these.

Yeah, you gotta

go to a diner with these sad sacks.

Go to Waffle House with these

cleaners.

You know how quickly.

Totally.

Oh, pecan waffles.

Oh, there's a fight by the entrance.

Perfect.

Get the all-star scramble.

Terrible.

Have you been to a Waffle House, Ben?

No.

I've been to IHOP.

We don't have Waffle Houses in New York.

I know, but you've seen this great country going out and doing meet and greets for.

I have.

You've been to Alabama.

I have.

I have.

And I haven't been to Waffle House.

Oh, you would have to.

Is it a must-go?

It's a must-go.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's kind of like a diner adjacent.

Is that what it is?

It is a diner.

Yeah.

But yeah,

I love a diner.

I just, it's crazy.

I feel bad for this woman.

You need to fucking get or confront your friends in between the artichoke dip and the mole.

Confront them and say, stopping.

We're negative.

First, we were at Cheesecake Factory.

Now we're at what?

At El Torito Grill?

Mole.

Just fucking tell them to fucking stop.

Like, say, like, stop bitching.

Enough.

I could tell you all the fucking problems in my life, but I want to have a good time.

Tell them to stop.

Yes.

Or go work for a supplement company and start hocking like St.

John's Wart.

Like, I'm talking about

natural serotonin.

John's Wart.

You dug that one up.

That love.

That was the original antidepressant.

Yeah, they make it my favorite company, Gaia Herbs.

You're walking in the aisle.

It's honestly, it's very,

it's jarring to see it.

You're like, okay, you have a little quick defense.

You have some oil of oreganos, St.

John's Wart.

And you're like, whoa, totally, dude.

They need to rename that St.

John's Wart.

Dude, that's like St.

John's World.

He needs a rebrand.

I feel like no matter what medication you're on, they're always like, this medication is going to cure you as long as you're not taking St.

John's Wart.

Like, you know, it's always like, tell your doctor if you're taking St.

John's Wart.

Yeah, it's such a strange name.

I don't know.

Like, like Josh Peck's Athlete's Foot.

Yeah, it looks weird.

Right?

Or what's that antidepressant that basically, like, it was an early one that worked, but it was like you couldn't take it with anything else because it basically just conflicted with everything.

Like an MAOI.

M-AOIs, the monoxidase inhibitors.

Remember that in commercials?

Like, tell your doctor if you're taking an M-A-O-I.

I don't, I don't recall, but.

Guess I had those commercials during glee, you know?

No, we're all so happy.

They're trying to give us downers.

They're like, if you're, if you're not depressed enough,

or if you're depressed, try singing.

Yeah,

that helps.

Do you have what are you nuts?

Yeah.

Or, yeah, let's go to what are you nuts.

What are you nuts moment of the week?

People, places, and things, gripes with humanity.

You're looking at the woman on the street.

She's barefoot.

All right.

You're like, what are you nuts?

I need to put on some shoes.

My what are you nuts moment?

I teased it in the beginning, Josh, was at this doctor's appointment, okay?

Great.

Tell me what you think about this.

My appointment's at noon.

I show up at noon.

Okay.

I fill out the paperwork.

Quick.

Five minutes.

It was no big deal.

I go up, I hand it in.

He says, okay, we're just waiting for your x-ray technician to get back from lunch.

She went on lunch at noon.

My appointment's at noon, Josh.

She doesn't come back from lunch until one.

I sit there for the duration of her lunch to get my x-ray.

What are you nuts?

Why are you scheduling an appointment at noon when your x-ray tech goes on lunch at noon?

Put it at one.

So that way I come at one and she's back from lunch.

I don't have to sit there while she's out at Chipotle eating the double burrito.

And then she comes back and she has terrible gas in the room while she's checking me in.

I don't need this.

12 o'clock, you bring me in for an appointment and you send your employee out to get lunch.

What are you nuts?

Nuts, right?

It was crazy.

I was like, are you ready?

She's like, oh, she's out at lunch.

I should be out at lunch.

Totally.

And then I'll come back.

We both will be fed.

We both had lunch.

Right.

And then we can talk about what we had for lunch.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, I had no lunch because I was so rushed.

I had two bear bells, which means that tonight, you talk about gas, whatever's in those things, it's no good.

It's like that fake sweetener shit.

No good.

I had two bear bells.

I didn't even have a lunch.

I could have had lunch.

I could have sat for an hour.

With your 25-hour fast starting at sundown tonight, around like five, are you going to like do a little carbo loading?

Yeah, the soffers really, really wanted to go to this Mexican restaurant called Maya.

So that's where we're going.

We're going, we're going in hard body karate, a couple extra scoops of creatine.

It's not like my ideal pre-fast meal, I'm not going to lie.

Bruce really wanted

Chinese dinner, don't you?

Chinese or Italian.

Like, I would love like pizza, pasta, like Caesar salad, Mexican.

At least I can get that mole.

My brain was on the mole.

Well, we've added an extra segment to every podcast called, Are You Having a Good Day?

How about now?

And it's where we learn tough facts that you weren't really expecting, but they're weird, scary truths that you really should know.

So I will say, having a good day, your brain can generate false memories and you will believe them as real.

These memories can feel just as real as true ones and you will defend them with the same emotion and detail as you would a real, actual memory.

God, how about now?

No, that's terrible.

That's like God gaslighting you.

God's gaslighting you.

Yeah, no good.

Ooh, I heard such a good quote yesterday: a coincidence is just God's way of staying anonymous.

Ooh,

powerful,

powerful,

like that, right?

Yeah.

Do you have that?

Light's rejection is just God's protection.

Get fucked.

My winnie nuts moment is: I am the biggest fan of that show, The Pit, and I am proud that I was on it early.

I was a fan right from the start.

I love it, love it, love it, love it, love it.

But there is this thing on the set that people have heard about where they have all of the crew who work on the set dress in scrubs because if there's a chance that someone gets caught in a scene who's not on the show, but like is a lighting guy or an assistant director, they want to make sure that they're in the right kind of, you know, Pittsburgh hospital gear.

So that, you know, it doesn't look weird, except, what are you nuts?

Oh, there's that nurse over there holding a boom microphone.

There's that doctor running the snack table.

Like, what are you nuts?

Does it work?

Nuts.

It's actually, at first I was thinking, wow, that's a really genius idea.

And then the more I thought of that, I'm like, you know,

I don't think so.

How about you just have tighter shots, okay?

Right.

Just have tighter shots.

Yes.

Like,

wow.

What an episode.

What an episode.

We're the best.

If this isn't five stars, what are you nuts?

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch us on YouTube.

Share our clips, Instagram and TikTok.

We're at 97,000 on TikTok.

Can you just follow us?

Like 100K, it's right there.

Follow us on fucking TikTok.

Fucking follow us on TikTok.

Yeah.

Mondays and Thursdays.

Unless you don't follow us on TikTok, then we're done.

I quit.

I've been

back anyways.

We'll see you next time if you follow us on TikTok.

Otherwise, we won't see you.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.