Episode 445: Amy Chapman: How Voice Control Techniques Can Transform Your Life and Career

Speaker 1 Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle, Greg.

Speaker 1 Do you ever wonder why some voices captivate while others go unnoticed?

Speaker 1 On this episode of Habits and Hustle, I'm joined by top vocal therapist Amy Chapman, who's worked with stars like Shakira, Sia, and Anthony Keatis, just to name a few.

Speaker 1 We uncover how mastering your voice can boost your confidence, enhance communication, and unlock success, both personally and professionally.

Speaker 1 From the science of voice to simple techniques to sound more powerful, more likable, or persuasive, you'll learn how you speak matters just as much as what you say.

Speaker 1 Stick around and let me know what you think after the episode.

Speaker 1 Before we dive into today's episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Momentous. When your goal is healthspan, living better, and longer, there are very few non-negotiables.
One of them, quality.

Speaker 1 And when it comes to supplements designed for high performers, nobody does it better than Momentous.

Speaker 1 Momentous goes all in on NSF certification, which means every single batch is tested for heavy metals, harmful additives, and label accuracy.

Speaker 1 And that's why they're trusted by all 32 NFL teams and top collegiate sports dietitians across the country.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing: they don't sell every supplement under the sun because they believe in nailing the basics with rock-solid consistency. And those basics are protein and creatine.

Speaker 1 Momentous sources creature, the purest form of creatine monohydrate available, an absolute must for both men and women who want peak physical and cognitive performance.

Speaker 1 So if you're serious about leveling up, go to livemomentous.com and use code Jen for 20% off. Just act now.
Start today. Jen for 20% off.
Livemomentous.com.

Speaker 1 Today on the podcast, we have my very new friend. Her name is Amy Chapman.
And this girl is, first of all, the best personality ever. But besides that, she is the,

Speaker 1 I don't even know what we call it, the biggest voice coach guru expert on the planet. And when I read off and riddle off her resume, you'll understand what I mean.
Listen to this.

Speaker 1 She is a highly sought-after vocal therapist, renowned singing voice specialist, and leading expert in voice optimization.

Speaker 1 With an unparalleled combination of clinical expertise and artistic experience, Amy has built a remarkable career, transforming the voices of some of the world's most celebrated performers.

Speaker 1 As a licensed and board-certified speech-language pathologist, she brings a deep scientific understanding of vocal health and physiology to her work. Listen to some of her clients, guys.

Speaker 1 Amy's career spans a diverse range of industries, from television to Tory music artists, where she's worked with some major stars like Shakira, Sia, Megan Traynor, Adina Menzel, Anthony Keatis, my personal favorite, and so many others.

Speaker 1 She's helped these global icons optimize their voice health, expand their range, enhance their performance, and prevent vocal strain. And I can go on and on.

Speaker 1 She's also like the lead voice coach for that show, the mask singer. I mean, there's so many things.
It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 And when I, when I, when I, when I met you, the fact like how many things I've learned, I learned so much in that one conversation when I first met you that i i had to have you on the show so thanks for being here i'm so happy to be here and it gets me so excited every time somebody reads that i'm like god i'm so cool

Speaker 1 i'm like god it is good but i have such a high self-esteem anyway and i'm like yes good job amy you know what's amazing i i love that you don't feign like you know compliments like that because so many times people sit here and they're like oh like they try they try to feign humility right like oh you're like no i am this shit like i've done all this stuff.

Speaker 1 I've like have a huge career. I've done it.
I'm doing it. And you own it.
You know what?

Speaker 1 When we talk about, I know we're going to talk about like confident voice and all that, but I think with the confidence, the self-esteem is so huge.

Speaker 1 And in my office, in my studio, that I have people, I always say, like, this is a brag-friendly zone. I want no humility whatsoever.
Like, if you sounded good, be like, yes, I sounded good.

Speaker 1 Because when we start to do the like, that wasn't so good. Then you're like, ew, I totally agree.
Everybody wants to be with that. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 It's also like a very like women, women do that, right? They always like, no, no, like they want to be smaller than they really are. And if they, they're good, they have to apologize for being good.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't apologize for being good. Apparently not.
No, no, you're like, keep on ladies. I was like, there's more.

Speaker 1 Go to the next paragraph.

Speaker 1 I know. You're probably like, you left out a few lines there, Jennifer.
Why? I've got a few more. Who do you want to hear?

Speaker 1 No, yeah. We're so taught to be be like humility and humble pie, but like, why? I don't know.
You know, you said something. I always wonder this and I ask this a lot, like to myself, right?

Speaker 1 Like, what is the true difference between self-esteem and confidence, right? Do you know what the difference is? Yes. Okay, tell me.

Speaker 1 Confidence is like you're confident in your ability to do something. Self-esteem is your worth.

Speaker 1 That's right. So you can have one and not the other.
Like a football player can be like, I'm confident in the way that I can throw this ball, but I don't like myself. Right.

Speaker 1 But if you like yourself and you can throw that ball, you're winning all around.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't even know, how does someone even, I know we haven't even gotten into the voice stuff yet, but like, this is one of these topics that I talk about a lot because it's like, how do you truly teach somebody to have a sense of self-worth or a self-esteem?

Speaker 1 Because you're right, confidence, you could be, you can feel confident. It's also like, it's, it's fluid.

Speaker 1 You could be confident one day because you feel confident that you can do one particular thing and then something happens or you can't, you don't feel confident the next day.

Speaker 1 But true self-worth, that is hard to teach somebody. Either you kind of have it or you kind of don't, but in my opinion, but do you think there's ways we can help or

Speaker 1 teach that to people? Totally. I mean, like, if we think of our own self-talk of like, that wasn't good.
That wasn't so great. I don't look so good.

Speaker 1 Every day I look in the mirror and I do, you know, like like the first, I had once a therapist who was like, you need to do the self-talk and like tell yourself the positive things.

Speaker 1 And my eyes rolled so far back in my head. I was like, I'm not, I'm not going to do that.
Like, I'm not going to sit and be like, you're beautiful, you're smart. And someone likes you.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do that. Oh, God, neither would I, 100%.

Speaker 1 It's so awkward. It's so awkward.
But if you're telling yourself that over and over and over and you're like, girl, you're hot. You are doing great.
You are amazing. Your personality is good.

Speaker 1 Look at your life. If you just tell yourself that, it's that fake until you make it.
Yeah. You'll start to fall in line and be like, I am God.
You know, I am hot. My body is great.

Speaker 1 I am, I am successful. Like you listen.

Speaker 1 So the way I agree, but I think the way I would always define it is if you want to have true self-worth, do things for yourself that make you really feel truly good about yourself.

Speaker 1 For me, it was like exercise and working out. When I took that seriously, it taught me such foundational skills about life.

Speaker 1 Like fitness for me was like a microcosm for real life, like the patience, the discipline.

Speaker 1 And when you start like honing in on these like foundational skills and you know, you can actually get through hard things, it gives you self-esteem. Sure.
That's to me what I felt.

Speaker 1 Like I'm like, I worked out. I work out all the time.
So I know I have an okay body. So why am I going to like pretend that I don't think so? Like,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? Yeah. You're like, no, I work at it.
Yeah. Like this is not.
I earned this. I earned this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I think when someone feels like they work for something and they take action to get something, that helps them with their self-esteem as well. I think that's big.

Speaker 1 I think also like working on whatever it is, however you do it. So whether it's working out, which I wish I could say the same that I work out every single day, I don't, but I work every single day.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing that I'm like, I'm good at this because I do this day in, day out. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, so, because you were, were you, when you were younger, were you just, were you a singer? I was a singer. Yeah.
So you were like an artist who was I wouldn't call myself an artist.

Speaker 1 Okay, what would you call yourself? A singer. So there's such a difference

Speaker 1 between an artist and a singer. A singer is like someone who can sing.
An artist is, there's an artistry behind it. So I would look at someone like Amy Winehouse and be like, you're an artist.

Speaker 1 Like you see that difference of someone who's like, she's doing her own thing. Yeah.
She has that brand, that style. And then someone else,

Speaker 1 I don't even want to say like, like, I think Ariana Grande is a wonderful singer. And some people would call her an artist, but I'm like, you're a great singer.

Speaker 1 And your art is in that voice of that beautiful sounder. Maybe like Taylor Swift is a good one.

Speaker 1 That's a great example of our, let's stick to the Ariana because I was listening to her on a podcast and I thought to myself, kind of, she said that she writes her own music.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that she did, but by the way, I thought she just had a beautiful voice and that people write her music. I didn't, I don't know one way or the other.
Maybe you know.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it's a mix of both. Okay, it's probably, but it, but I think it becomes a mix of both when you're a huge star.
Sure. Right.

Speaker 1 So, but I always thought that she was a great, she had a beautiful voice that made her a great singer, but you're right. I never looked at her as an artist.
She didn't come across. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is there a difference between an artist, a singer, and a star? Or is a star and an artist the same thing? No, because you can be an artist and not be a star, right? Yeah. That's 100% true.

Speaker 1 You can be like a fantastic artist, but nobody knows you or very few people know you. So you're not a star star level.
And you can be an awesome singer and not an artist.

Speaker 1 You can be an awesome artist and not really a singer. So Ariana would be more of a star.
She's a star. She's a singer.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 Some people are going to watch this and be like, Amy, you're wrong. She is an artist.
And I think that is completely subjective if someone's an artist or not.

Speaker 1 I think you go back to the question and you're like, well, what is art?

Speaker 1 What is somebody an artist? Like Taylor Swift, you were going to say something like that. I was going to say, Taylor Swift to me, I'm like, you are a singer.
You are a star.

Speaker 1 And some people will call you an artist, but I'm like, I call you a singer. And

Speaker 1 so why? Why would she not be an artist?

Speaker 1 To me, personally, I'm going to get so much shit for this. You'll never get hired by that.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. Her people even like reached out to me recently.
And I'm like, now they'll never. Yeah, now they're going to hire someone else.
I'm like completely else.

Speaker 1 I'm really shooting myself in the foot. My husband was like, watch your mouth when you go on the show.
I'm like, I can't, I can't. Things just come out.

Speaker 1 But by the way, which makes you even more likable because I'm just like, I'm so sorry. It's coming and I'm not going to stop it.

Speaker 1 To me, I'm like, you're great. And like, that's what you are.
But what, okay, so if I'm, I'm not, I'm not

Speaker 1 thrown back and excited and been like, ooh, when I hear someone like an Amy Winehouse or like, I'm trying to think of like all the different people at the Grammys and I'm like, oh, that was different.

Speaker 1 That was art. Okay, so that's okay.
So this is very interesting because Taylor Swift, right? She writes her own music.

Speaker 1 Maybe now she does, like she has a million people who collaborate with her, write her stuff, but that was like her whole thing. She's a singer-songwriter, right?

Speaker 1 Doesn't, I thought if someone's a songwriter and they're a performer, that kind of create makes them more of an artist. Yeah, and they are an artist.
I'm really just.

Speaker 1 But I see what you're saying because the truth is when I think of like an artist, I think of someone who's more, there's more darkness there. Darkness, a creativeness.

Speaker 1 Like I look at Sia and I'm like, ooh, you're an artist. You're an artist and you're a singer and you're a star.
You're all of those things. Yes.

Speaker 1 Is it because there's like a uniqueness to them? Something, it's different. You see it and you're like, that's art.
That is different.

Speaker 1 You're creating a whole other path for you and that you're portraying that. Right.
And like nobody could can copy it really because there's only one Sia.

Speaker 1 Because they're going to be like, oh, you sound like Sia. Right.
You know, like you have a brand. You have that art.
You are, put your stamp on it and it's you. And you've worked with her before.

Speaker 1 And so like, how does an, how does an artist, like, how do you work with an artist versus just a singer? Is there a difference? Yes. And every artist is different.
You're an artist. You're an artist.

Speaker 1 I'm an artist, but not an artist in my singing. I know.
You think you're a singer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, sure, I have a little bit of style when I sing. Yes.

Speaker 1 But I'm not like. oh, I created my own thing and this is my art and I need to, it's not like that.
My art is how I work with people. Right.
I understand that.

Speaker 1 I know we're going to get back to it, but I'm curious. We just talked about Sia.
So like working with an artist like her, what's like, how do you work with her versus a singer or a star? Cool.

Speaker 1 So I would, with a singer, I'd mold them. I'd be like, I'm going to tell you what to do.
You're going to do this riff. You're going to change your voice this way, make this sound like this.

Speaker 1 I will give people artists.

Speaker 1 I will give singers coaching and artists, I will give support. So I'm not going to tell Sia

Speaker 1 where to put her voice and how to do her riff. That's her thing.
But I will tell her the things to optimize what she does.

Speaker 1 So a lot of people come to me, especially with like nodules or vocal difficulties or something going on with their voice.

Speaker 1 Since I am a voice therapist, I work and I treat the voice, but I'm not going to change them. Meaning, I'm not going to say like, don't sing breathy and husky like that.
anymore.

Speaker 1 Sing clean and clear, even though that would be better for their voice. It would be healthier.
I'm not going to do that because I'm not going to change you as an artist.

Speaker 1 And I think that's why a lot of artists like me, because I'm not trying to change them. A lot of other voice therapists, and I'm not saying they're doing anything wrong.

Speaker 1 Everybody has their own style, will be like, that's not healthy. So sing it a little bit more clear and a little bit more pingy and a little bit more right there.
And they're like, no,

Speaker 1 I don't want to. I'm an artist.
This is my thing. I sing it like this.
So how can I do it like this, but healthier? Mm-hmm. So that's how I would be different with an artist versus a singer.

Speaker 1 So you were a singer. Tell me.
So let's get back to you for a minute now. Because you were a singer, not an artist.
So how did you, what was your evolution?

Speaker 1 Because given your personality, you like you have, you seem to have the package. Like I heard you sing with my mom earlier.

Speaker 1 You were singing like opera. Yeah.
I trained in opera when I was a kid. That's how I started is classically singing.
And I was like, this is so much fun.

Speaker 1 And then I went to a performing arts high school and it was so much fun. And obviously, I'm a performer.
You can see it in me. I don't stop.
Yeah. And I love it.

Speaker 1 And then I went to UCLA for musical theater. And there was a certain point.

Speaker 1 I had a masterclass with Diane Keaton. And she said, if you can do anything else in this world, do it.
And I was like, oh, I can do a lot of things.

Speaker 1 And that's where I, and I come from a very medical family. And they're all healers.
My dad's a doctor. My mom's a nurse.
My brother-in-law's a doctor. My cousin's a doctor.

Speaker 1 Like everybody's doctors in my family. And I love to heal.
I love to teach. I love to heal.
I love to take care of people. And I also love music and voice.
And then I put it all together.

Speaker 1 I was like, I can take that and help that and be a voice healer. And then it turns into coaching because no one wants to be injured.
No one likes to be injured. Right.
So it's all about the coaching.

Speaker 1 And every singer. who's a professional singer is like a little bit injured because you're using your voice so much.
It's just like every football player has a bum knee or a back hurt or something.

Speaker 1 When you are an athlete of whatever it is, your body takes a toll. You need someone to have support.
So then it started going into that.

Speaker 1 And the way that I just, I work with voice, I hear voice, I feel voice, and I really intuit what people are doing. And it just built my reputation of that, of doing that.

Speaker 1 So I went to after after that, I went to school for speech pathology. Okay.
Got a master's in speech pathology, started working with really injured singers.

Speaker 1 And then it just sort of blended to all voice. I work in animated voice.
I help people make sounds. I help people like who have like funny little voices and like do funny things.

Speaker 1 I like help them shape their voice. I work on Rick Rick and Morty.

Speaker 1 I help the new Rick and Morty characters sound like the old Rick and Morty because I can hear and I can feel what people are doing with their voice and what they need to be doing with their voice.

Speaker 1 Wow. So that's so fascinating, right? Like it's so.
Your path was very, like, it's very unique, right? Because you were, or is it not?

Speaker 1 Like, do most people who do what you do, who are voice coaches and voice experts, do, are they usually, were they usually singers prior?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would say like pretty much every voice teacher and voice coach was a singer at some point. It's a weird profession to go into if you weren't.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 Or how many, or, or how many people who have voice, who become a voice pathologist, not pathologist, was it called?

Speaker 1 Yeah, voice therapists, voiceover, voice pathologists, pathologists go into voice coaching. Not that many.
Right. There are not that many voice therapists.
Like this is a very niche.

Speaker 1 And then I took it even more niche. So like I am really, really right there.

Speaker 1 But I brought it so far to the niche point that then i expanded it out to not niche like everybody's got a voice right and then you just help them you help them yeah so how did you get like i'm obsessed with anthony ketas but because i just think that he's so he's an artist he's an artist right yeah how did you get into that lane of working with some of these the biggest names in the world like shakira anthony ketas who a lot of times the managers will find me how what was the first time i think sia was the first time.

Speaker 1 And I signed a lot of NDAs for a lot of things. So I can't talk about like

Speaker 1 they're fine, but I can't talk about everybody and why they come to me for certain things.

Speaker 1 But they'll find me if they're going on tour and they just need some tour training. And my name is floated around there.

Speaker 1 You know, I think managers and tour managers all know and they're like, cool, my client's about to do a big year-long tour.

Speaker 1 They're having maybe some issues, or we just want to make sure that they're strong so we don't cancel shows. So can you work with them before? And then they meet me and they're like, Okay, I like you.

Speaker 1 Right. And they just keep me on for life.
What I always am curious about, like, even watching the Grammys, right? How do these people run around for hours and sing at the same time?

Speaker 1 I know that's probably most of it's the there's like a voice track behind, but for the artists who are really artists and they're going on tour for two hours, how are they able to like sing and then dance at the same time?

Speaker 1 I have an elaborate in my office. You do? do? Yeah, I do.
And it's so people can sing and breathe and huff and puff and sing all at the same time. But yeah, cardio is a big part of it.

Speaker 1 I remember Nicole Scherzinger was working out beside me many, many years ago. And she was running and singing at the same time to train her, to learn how to train herself.
Yep. Yep.
Right.

Speaker 1 Beyonce does the same thing. She runs.
Miley Cyrus does the same thing. Yeah.
They run and

Speaker 1 sing at the same time. Yep.
Yep. Because you need to train your voice to be able to come together while you're like

Speaker 1 doing that. So yeah, it's, it's all a training.
How else do you control your voice? How else do you teach people to control their voice like that?

Speaker 1 I mean, breath, breath support, bringing a big, wide breath and not letting it all out. So that big, wide, spread your rib cage out and hold your breath.
And then be able to talk whilst not just,

Speaker 1 not letting it all out. So keeping that support.
And like an adenomizer, like who's like massive, right? So she's frozen. She's all these things.

Speaker 1 Can you tell me why you're going to, that's where you're going right now to do New York? She's doing a show. Okay.
Opening a new Broadway musical called Redwoods. It's fantastic.

Speaker 1 And yeah, just helping her prepare for that, making sure that she's going to stay strong throughout because Broadway is a whole different beast. You have to do eight shows a week.
Right.

Speaker 1 So she's singing eight shows a week. And so I'm making sure that her voice is strong, that she can do all these things with a lot of this stuff.
So, A, we're training her voice.

Speaker 1 That's like muscle coming together. How do you train the voice? Like, what do you, how does it work? Like, give me like, yeah, if I go to the gym, I'm gonna train my legs.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna do my squats and my lunges and do all those things. Like, you know, I know how to train my, you know, your body.
How do you train your voice? Just by practicing.

Speaker 1 Practicing and very specific exercises. If somebody has a weaker voice or their voice is like a little bit breathy and they sort of talk like this, I will give them a hard exercise, like, ah,

Speaker 1 hold that, right? Just holding a long, hard, ah, go up the scale. It's muscles.
Your vocal cords are the size of your thumbnail. Do you know that? So teeny tiny.
And all it is is tissue.

Speaker 1 And then there's muscles on the side. So you bring it together.
So I will have a soft voice like that.

Speaker 1 Ah, give that really big, loud sound, but not in a place where they're screaming and hurting themselves, but something that's really nice and supported.

Speaker 1 And then if somebody has a voice that's too hard and too rough, then I'm going to take it down.

Speaker 1 And I'll be like, okay, now for you, it's different. We're all so different.
Everybody's vocal cords look different. Everybody's body's different.

Speaker 1 Everybody's throat, everybody's mouth, everybody's size. Everybody's so different.
So there's not one way how to do everything.

Speaker 1 Okay, but if someone, because a lot of times people's voice are strained because they're, like you said, just yourself, like she's doing eight shows in Broadway. Right.

Speaker 1 Or people are like Anthony Keatus, who's screaming and yelling for five hours while he's performing.

Speaker 1 Don't they just, if you're training them, don't, is it, don't they just need recovery and just, just to not sing and not talk? Well, that's a part of it sometimes. And sometimes it's not.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it's like, no, you need the strength to be able to do that. Right.
How do you strengthen a voice? Exactly that. So if I'm going, ah, but isn't you doing ah for five hours?

Speaker 1 No, because when you're performing, it's a little different. You're singing things and bouncing off walls and doing something else.
But if you're sitting there, it's just the same as lifting weights.

Speaker 1 You're lifting weights, but with your voice. So you're sitting there and you're holding it and you're holding it in the right place.
All your muscles are coming together in the right place.

Speaker 1 So then all of a sudden you're out and you're like, oh, now I can just do whatever. And I have that strength.
Like you work out, you do sit-ups. So then you have nice abs when you're out on the beach.

Speaker 1 It's the same. Not if you eat really badly, but okay.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm not wearing a bikini on the beach.

Speaker 1 But, but you do that. You train your voice with strength exercises or taking away strength exercises.
So you're not screaming on stage.

Speaker 1 So you're doing something else and your vocal cords are coming together softer. So you don't need that much recovery time.

Speaker 1 How do you, okay, so how would you, for a regular person who's not an artist, pop star, or singer, just like a regular business person,

Speaker 1 mom, whoever, how can they optimize their voice in any way that, like, if I want to, if i want to sound more serious and more authoritative how do i train my voice to be that way how do i train my voice like that video that you just said right like what like i hired a speech therapist to fix my boring voice yeah so how does someone fix their boring voice so to sound better i want to answer this and i also want to ask you a question go ahead what voice do you like what do you like to listen to in general yeah if there's a person you like or a sound that you're like okay

Speaker 1 i like

Speaker 1 i do like sia okay it can even be a speaking voice doesn't have to be a singing voice okay what voice what kind of voice do i like yeah is there somebody that you're like i love to listen to them or on the contrary is there somebody that you hate to listen to i have a lot of people i hate listening to i can name a hundred right now you know I like listening to people who have an English accent

Speaker 1 or an Australian accent. I love an accent.
Right, me too.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 who kind of comes who has a softness? I don't want a hardcore voice because I'm around it all the time. Totally.
Right. What does it do to you? I don't know.
I guess it may, I never thought about it.

Speaker 1 Actually, let me change my answer.

Speaker 1 The voice I would like depends on what I'm listening to it for.

Speaker 1 So if I am looking for someone to help me with business, I'd want them to sound self-assured and confident. Yes.

Speaker 1 If I want, if I'm trying to chill out and relax and fall asleep, I would like a soft, soothing voice. Totally, totally.
So, everything is different for everything.

Speaker 1 For every situation, I want a different voice.

Speaker 1 Like you said, when I listen to your podcast, because I did a lot of listening to your podcast before I came on this, okay.

Speaker 1 And you have Tony Robbins who's giving a clip right before, and he goes, You're listening to Habits and Hussle, crush it. And I'm like, Oh,

Speaker 1 like terrible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like it, it hurts me to hear that and obviously tony's very successful yes he knows what he's doing but his voice that rough he's like yelling it he's like go go go he's a motivational speaker

Speaker 1 that is what he does and that voice tells me that he works hard that he goes and goes and goes and doesn't stop that he doesn't care necessarily about that softness and that bringing that in.

Speaker 1 He wants you to go. So he's influencing with his voice, with that rough and da-da-da, for you to go.
He is like your coach. He's your soccer coach, your football coach.
He's like, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 1 But if I'm doing a yoga class, I'd be like, nah, bro, I can't. I can't listen to that right now.
It like gives me this. So your voice influences the same way if you're listening to music.

Speaker 1 When I got into the car to get here, they were playing classical music. And I told my driver, I was like, this is exactly what I needed right now because my life has been so crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm heading out to New York right after this. I'm packing.
I'm doing all the things. And I just wanted that classical music.

Speaker 1 But if she had like rock and it was going and it was hard, I'd be like, no, I don't need that. It's the same with voice.
It influences our body in a different way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if somebody is like, how can I optimize my voice? I'm going to take it a step further and say, optimize it for what? What do you want people to feel when they're listening to you?

Speaker 1 If you're a mom, like you said, if it's just some mom, who's she talking to? She's telling her kids to clean their room? Is she

Speaker 1 trying to assert her dominance in something? Like, what is the situation that you are trying to get a certain outcome? So, for me, right now, in my mind, I want to tell you I'm a pro at this.

Speaker 1 I know what I'm doing. I know how I'm sounding.
And my

Speaker 1 objective in this is to sound confident and knowledgeable. And so when I want to sound more confident and knowledgeable, I'm not all the way over here.
I'm not like dragging my voice long.

Speaker 1 I'm a little bit more to the point. And I'm a little lower in my pitch.
And I'm not going up talk. So my voice isn't going up, but I'm a little bit more down talk.

Speaker 1 So the end of my sounds, I'll go down. So it's a comment, not a question, but a comment.
So it's different. Every single outcome is based on your objective.
That makes sense. Great answer.

Speaker 1 I'm going to clip that. Clip that.
I'll give you a lot to clip about. That was a great, that's a great.
So, when you want to sound more dominant or authoritative,

Speaker 1 your voice should go down. Yes, that's a huge thing.
You hear so many people, and not everybody knows why they have a feeling of that person is not making me comfortable.

Speaker 1 But if I hear somebody and her voice is like this, and she's saying, Hi, Jen, I'm Amy,

Speaker 1 and I'm a voice coach.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 sometimes like, you're like, enough. I can't.
Right. You don't take them seriously.
I would tell them, I would say, number one, is it a question? Because a question goes up at the end, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Huh? You hear that. And immediately I question.
And if I'm questioning something that somebody else is saying, I don't have confidence in them. That just like flies out the window.
Yep.

Speaker 1 But if she goes down. So now I'm going to take that same kind of pinch, small voice.
I'm going to say, hi, I'm Amy. And I do this.
You're like, okay, that's a little better.

Speaker 1 And then that pinch right in here, I'm like, that's too small. I want to show big.
And kids are small. And we hear kids' voices in a different way.
They're children. They're small.
They're little.

Speaker 1 So it's all little. When I tell people, I say, open your throat.
We have so much space that we don't always use. So then I open my throat.
If you hear pitch, this note, ah.

Speaker 1 That's the same note. But the second one sounds so much lower, right? You hear it in your brain.
It's not, it's the same. But my space in my throat is different.
One, two, three, four, five.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, four, five. All of a sudden, you're like, well, that's like a confident woman on that second one.
And like a little kid in the first one. Can you teach someone who normally talks?

Speaker 1 Like Ariana Grande, let's go back to her. Sure.
If you hear her talk, she talks like a baby. Yeah.
And she has a squeaky voice. Yeah.
But when she sings, she doesn't have that voice. Right.

Speaker 1 Because she's controlling it. And she's control.
She has great control over her voice. But she's not controlling her speaking.

Speaker 1 I don't know if she's not doing it because she doesn't want to, because she doesn't care, because she wants to give the impression of like, I want to be smaller. Cause sometimes people like that.

Speaker 1 I think, I think it's done on purpose. So we never know.
And that's why I'm never like, there's one right answer. There's no one right answer.
It's what's your objective.

Speaker 1 Because that's a, I love that you said that because that is so true.

Speaker 1 If you want to convey, like, I'm just a sweet, nice, like, non-confrontational or like, you know, I don't, I'm not, I'm not a bitchy, you know, it kind of gives off this

Speaker 1 idea that you're just like sweet and nice and basic. I have dumb.
Yeah, I have a friend who's a

Speaker 1 big show host. I won't say I'm where.

Speaker 1 And she was having uh, and she's just like so cute. And you'd see her, and she sounds like this, and she's just like bubbly and so sweet.

Speaker 1 And she was having a talk with her managers and lawyers, and she put her foot down and she was speaking like this. And they were like, whoa.

Speaker 1 and she had to backtrack and say oh don't mind me I'm just like a crazy little Latin chica and you're like she did that on purpose she had to put her voice in that place for them to be like oh okay right now now we like you so she's using that small little voice to her advantage so it's not like we all need to have this big booming low voice sometimes i mean like women can be kind of manipulative and it's a great way that's what i'm saying i'm sure like even ariana and i think you're probably talking about shakira but I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not. I'm actually not.
Okay. Because what I was going to say, because you said Latin, that's why.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But what I was going to say is it's much more likable when people are not intimidated by you. So when you are talking with like authority with your voice down,

Speaker 1 people are sometimes off-put because they're more intimidated

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 more nervous to be around you. Especially as a woman, people will think that you're bitchy or rude or bossy.
So when you act like that, and get what you want.

Speaker 1 And it's much easier for everyone to like, to play nicely because they're not, you're not a threat. Yeah.
So that's why I'm like, what's your objective? What is it? And it can change.

Speaker 1 So I like to give people tools

Speaker 1 that you're going to have a whole tool belt of things that you can choose from.

Speaker 1 If you're in a room where you want people to like like you and think you're so funny and cute and sweet, then you can talk in such a different way.

Speaker 1 But if you're in a place where you need to lay down the law and this is not okay, then you can speak in a different way. And some people are like, well, isn't that fake? It's like, what's fake?

Speaker 1 It's your voice. It's what you're trying to get across.
Why is it fake? We all have different ways.

Speaker 1 If I'm getting pulled over by a policeman and I'm talking to my best friend who I'm just like shooting the shit with and I'm just talking like this, I'm not going to talk to the policeman that way.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say, hi, officer, I'm so sorry. What was I doing? I'm going to change the way I speak.
We code switch. We do it all the time.

Speaker 1 We do it with our parents, with our in-laws, with our kids, with our teachers, with whoever. I am code switching throughout the day.
And I think that's huge. It makes me more successful.

Speaker 1 It makes the clients I'm working with. They're not like, this girl doesn't know what she's talking about.
It's like, oh, no, she does.

Speaker 1 But then I'm going to go to somebody else and be like, yeah, what's up? You know, like we code switching. 100%.

Speaker 1 So, okay, so then when this guy hired you or a voice coach, sure.

Speaker 1 to be for his voice to be less boring what makes a voice boring versus a voice much more exciting so this for that specific buzzfeed, I'll give that as an example.

Speaker 1 Kane came to me and he's kind of quiet and a little bit monotone. And he said, hey, Amy, so I do this.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 what? Like, you're so monotone. You're just right here.
You're, you don't, nothing varies. You're just, you know, hey, how you doing? It's like, okay, we gotta, we gotta take a step back.

Speaker 1 What are you trying to get from me? Do you want me to be excited by you? Get me excited. What does that look like? And I will take it further back of like, how did you speak as a kid?

Speaker 1 How did you want people to see you? Did you like to be in the front? Did you want to be center of attention or no? Do you want that now or no? You know, it goes back and back and back.

Speaker 1 But for him, I was like, let's get some intonation in there. So move your voice up.
Bring it up. Bring your volume up at different times.
Punch different things that you want to come and don't.

Speaker 1 Use your body. So you can see, I use my body when I'm talking.
I'm not just here, but I keep it bringing out. And that brings people people in.

Speaker 1 So it's not all the way, I'm not flailing around, but I want you to use your full body. I want you to use your eye contact.
I want you to use your soul.

Speaker 1 When you're talking to somebody, there's no one else in the room. And if you're talking to a group of people, I want them to feel like there's no one else in the room.

Speaker 1 You don't have to lock eyes with them, but you have to feel that like I am talking to you. I'm giving you my all.
And after I talk, I am like zonked because I've given so much energy.

Speaker 1 I need to recharge. So with this guy, or for anybody whose voice is more monotone,

Speaker 1 more boring, how do you train somebody to actually really envelop that and really do it?

Speaker 1 Like it's one thing to do it once after you work twice, but how can you really, if someone is the way they are and that's their like their voice most of the time, can you actually change someone's voice like forever?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wouldn't have a career if I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be here, Jen. I know, right? Yes, of course.

Speaker 1 Practice makes permanent, not perfect, but it makes permanent. The more you do something.
So if somebody is very monotone and they sort of talk like this and everything's there, I'd say punch it up.

Speaker 1 Let's go one, two, three, four, five, four, three, two, one, two, three, four, five, four, three, two, one. So your voice is going up in pitch and going down.
And I'll say, like, give me a sentence.

Speaker 1 What'd you have for breakfast today? Oh, I had peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Give me that in one, two, three, four, five, four, three, two, one.
I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today.

Speaker 1 I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today.
So you can feel your voice doing da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Speaker 1 And again, you take it with a grain of salt. You can't always talk like this all the time because then you start feeling like you're going a roller coaster and that gets a little crazy.

Speaker 1 But you start getting the movement in your voice. It starts going down and then it's up and then it's down.
So you're used to that. And then I'll say, okay, let's take it away.

Speaker 1 Now let's punch what's important. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today.
And when I say jelly, I'm like, it was the best jelly of my life. It was so good.

Speaker 1 The things that are important, those words that you really want people to listen to.

Speaker 1 Because when people are listening, I mean, like, I don't know how many people are going to be like, she had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today.

Speaker 1 Like, that's the thing you want to say, but you're not listening to the words. Right, right, right.
You're listening to everything else, the intonation, the fact that I went, you're listening.

Speaker 1 And I put that in a whisper, that sound, you're like, ooh, bring me more, bring me in. When I get quiet, and sometimes, like if I'm telling somebody something, you get quiet.

Speaker 1 And that doesn't just like, ah, you're more like, yes.

Speaker 1 Like you lean into it. So especially like I coach a lot of TED Talkers.
That was my next question. Ah,

Speaker 1 we're soulmates. Yeah.
So I coach a lot of TED Talkers. And a lot of people have such great things that they're saying.
They've written it out.

Speaker 1 Their speeches are fantastic or their speech writers are fantastic. Either way, but sometimes they can't deliver it or they're just reading it off.
And you're like, first of all, never read off.

Speaker 1 I'd rather somebody ad-lib everything, get half the stuff wrong, than read off a piece of paper. Because when you're reading off a piece of paper, you're not going to have the big things that go up.

Speaker 1 It's just going to be.

Speaker 1 Because it's not the words, right? It's how you say it. It's with everything in life, though, right?

Speaker 1 It's like people don't get offended by what you're saying. It's how you say it.
You can ask someone, and trust me, I have in my life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can ask someone anything. But if I say it in a night, in a way that's like, you know, non-confrontational,

Speaker 1 inquisitive versus judgy,

Speaker 1 I can get away with anything. Do you curse on this show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So if I'm telling somebody, like, fuck you, you're so good, you know, like, no one's going to be like, oh, right, right, right. You said, fuck you to me.
But if I'm like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 you know, and like, do it in that way, then you're like, oh, you know, but like, the way we say it and our tone changes everything.

Speaker 1 It's all about the tone. Like, I was going to ask you about TED Talks, right? Because I wonder if there is something, I mean, yes, I know it's the algorithm.
I got it. Totally.

Speaker 1 And, but what else makes it that would make somebody, somebody's TED Talk go viral versus go flat?

Speaker 1 Is it, I thought what I've kind of thought was the way the person sounds, not necessarily what, I think that the title. of what it is.
Sure.

Speaker 1 The way someone sounds and also how close the camera is to the person's status. That's what I've noticed.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But how would you train someone to be the most engaging when they're talking? Like, how do you teach someone to be animated and alive when that's not, again, their natural personality?

Speaker 1 Is it just practice? You give them the tools and then they go off and just practice. That's the first part.
The second part is:

Speaker 1 what is the step-by-step way to really own a room, to really kind of take control and crush a presentation like that. So, a couple different things.

Speaker 1 I swing a pendulum because I will coach somebody who is pretty boring and I'm going to make them whack a doo. They're going to be all over the top and everything's going to be so crazy.

Speaker 1 And I know that they're going to walk out and be like, That crazy lady told me to do too much shit. And that pendulum is going to swing back right in the middle, right where they need to be.

Speaker 1 So, I go way far on one side and I tell them that too. I'm like, listen, we're going psycho here.

Speaker 1 And I want you to be free because also if somebody is, a lot of times people are a little bit flatter because they're a little embarrassed to go big. Shy.
They're shy. They're embarrassed.

Speaker 1 They're just kind of like reserved.

Speaker 1 And there's nothing wrong with that. No, I know.
Yeah. It's all, but if you're reserved, you're like, I don't want to do that.
It feels weird. Feels weird.
It feels weird to go big.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, feel weird. Feel weird.
Don't feel shame. Don't feel embarrassed.
Because if you're embarrassed, I promise you your your TED Talk's not going to do well.

Speaker 1 If you're like, I don't sort of like don't want to be here, that comes across. And people are like, well, if you don't want to be here, I don't want to be watching you.

Speaker 1 But if someone's like, oh my God, I want to be here so badly. I'm so stoked to be here.
And you can see that. You're like, yeah.
I want to be here with you. I don't care what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 You're talking about a toenail fungus. Sign me up.
Yeah. Like it's so exciting because you're excited.
Like show me that excitement and then take me on a journey. Show me that excitement.
Show me big.

Speaker 1 So that's why when people are reserved, I'm like, go crazy. I have them jump around.
I have them move about. I have them flail their arms up and really go wild.

Speaker 1 So then they don't feel that shame as much. Like get weird, get completely weird, be embarrassed, get it out.

Speaker 1 And then you can find places where you're like, yes, here I am talking about toenail fungus on my TED talk. And then I'm going to bring it back because I'm telling you a story.

Speaker 1 And if every story is at a 10 the whole time, it feels like you're yelling at me. But I have to have you bring it back.
And there's got to be parts where you bring it in.

Speaker 1 And like I said before, when I'm quiet, you lean in. So then I go big and I go big where it matters.
And then I pull you in. And I'm like, now you come into me because I'm going to bring it here.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to be someplace else in the middle. So give me a range of emotion.
Give me a range of things to be excited about.

Speaker 1 When I see a movie and it's one character and he's the same exact throughout,

Speaker 1 you're like, you're so boring. But a good movie and a good character, you see an arc.
You see them start somewhere else and end somewhere else.

Speaker 1 I want to take a quick break from this episode to thank our sponsor, Therisage. Their tri-light panel has become my favorite biohacking.
thing for healing my body.

Speaker 1 It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go.

Speaker 1 And I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations and places in my body where, honestly, I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach cramps, shoulder, ankle.

Speaker 1 Red light therapy is my go-to. Plus, it also has amazing anti-aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for.

Speaker 1 I personally use Therisage Tri-Light everywhere and all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable, and it's really effective.

Speaker 1 Head over to Therasage.com right now and use code BBOLD for 15% off. This code will work site-wide.

Speaker 1 Again, head over to Therasage, T-H-E-R-A-S-A-G-E dot com and use code B Bold for 15% off any of their products.

Speaker 1 Far is the biggest thing was have animation in your voice, of course. And when you want to have more authority, you talk down.

Speaker 1 When you want to sound more, well, likable or flighty or kind of, what's the word?

Speaker 1 Easy to like. Easy.
It's easy.

Speaker 1 You kind of go up. Don't, you end with kind of like a comment, not with a question mark.
Right. Voice downtalk versus up talk.

Speaker 1 So that's, that's, that's more the, that, that confidence. The voice.
Of a voice. Yeah.
What other

Speaker 1 ways and tips can you teach people how to tweak their voice to sound something? Give me an example. So I'm a fast talker.
I know that. I'm also hyper-articulate.

Speaker 1 So I can speak really quickly, but you know exactly what I'm saying. And every single sound comes out.
Yes. So I'm not mumbling anything.
Unless I'm doing it on purpose.

Speaker 1 Like when I said mumbling anything, like that was on purpose. Yeah.
But you heard it. So changing the speed at which I'm speaking is so important.
It also gives me a chance to pause.

Speaker 1 And everybody talks about the pause. I love

Speaker 1 a pause. Even me just saying, I love

Speaker 1 a pause. That moment of silence,

Speaker 1 you listened. You're like, what is she going to say? Yeah.
So speed is huge in how you're delivering something. Am I going faster? Am I stopping? And am I stopping even just to think

Speaker 1 about the next thing I'm saying? So I'll give people tricks like that. Like take your time.

Speaker 1 Don't give everything at once. Stop.

Speaker 1 And then think, what am I going to say? How am I going to say it? What am I going to do with my speed? And that's to switch it up.

Speaker 1 So it's not, we're all the same speed, we're all the same tone, we're all this. Our ears will get used to everything.

Speaker 1 That's why, whenever, like, I'm sure your mom is like, my mom is like every other mom in the world that yelled at me all the time, clean your room, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Speaker 1 And then you just tune it out because it was all at the same pitch. It was all loud.
It was all yelly. It was all that.
And you're like, boop, like it's not there anymore. But she was like, Amy,

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 better clean your room. You're like, okay, mom.
You know, it scares you a different way because then all of a sudden you're like, I have to listen. You're engaging me differently.
That's so true.

Speaker 1 So what do moms? Like, what I wanted my kid to clean his room or listen to me, because God knows I repeat myself. I get so frustrated.
I get so annoyed. I'm sure you do too.
You got kids.

Speaker 1 Totally, totally.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 to be cognizant of not being, not to sound, not just to be, I yell, like just not to yell the same thing I yelled the day before, two minutes ago.

Speaker 1 So when you take it in quiet, when you're more quiet or more close up, is it both?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 and a pause. It's both.
And a pause, I mean, there's so much there. The number one thing to get somebody to hear you is to make sure they're listening.

Speaker 1 If I'm just yelling upstairs and they're doing something else, why are they going to listen? But if I go to my kid and I'm like, I have a kid named Mo, and I'm like, Mo.

Speaker 1 You need to clean your room now.

Speaker 1 He's like, okay, Mo. You know, like, make sure they're listening.
That goes with every TED talk you're doing, too. If you're talking to somebody and they're like, ah, ba-ba.

Speaker 1 But if you stop and you pause and you're like, it's going to get awkward. And then all of a sudden people are going to listen.
You're like, now we can go. Thank you.
And you keep going.

Speaker 1 You have to be careful what energy you're giving across because sometimes it's like, right, right. You know, like when that happens.
So it depends on what you're trying.

Speaker 1 But if you stop and you're like, thanks so much. Now, and you can like do it in a charming way that's just a little bit more approachable for people to be like, got it.

Speaker 1 You know, it's interesting right now, like just during this interview, I can see all the different ranges in your voice. Like you are a pro.
You go quiet, you go loud, you go animated.

Speaker 1 You do like, it's like, it's amazing how you really have made your voice like your instrument too.

Speaker 1 And how to teach because when you're working with massive personalities, they need to A, trust you and listen to you and think that you know what you're talking about, right?

Speaker 1 So did you train yourself also to be that way? Yes. I became more cognizant of it because I always was animated and I was a performer.
So I always had all that there.

Speaker 1 But then once I started working with other people and noticing it in them, you know, when you teach, you learn.

Speaker 1 And once I started teaching people, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 I can do that too. And then I just became way more cognizant just noticing it in everybody else.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What other kind of of people, besides like artists, like pop stars and big, you know, music people, performers, have you ever been hired by everyday other people to help them with a particular issue to help them optimize their voice?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I have a big part of my business is like CEOs, managers, people who come to me and they say, I need to communicate better with my employees, with whoever.

Speaker 1 If I'm giving a meeting, I need those people to listen to me. Things like that.
So I had, I had one recently, and sometimes I have to figure out what they're asking for help.

Speaker 1 And they'll say, like, I need help with my voice, with my tone. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 okay, let's, let's dig deeper into that. And they, they don't have the language to necessarily say what it is.
And so it was this guy. He was a CEO and he got a lot of heat from his HR about his tone.

Speaker 1 And I was like, What, like nasal? Are you like too annoying? Like, what do you mean? And he was like, Well, I read all these books. He read the negotiator book on like how Chris Voss.
That's the one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I had he was on this show.
I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Like all the people that were on this show, like all the things that have, here's your tips and tricks for the best this and how to be the master negotiator and confident voice and work well with this.

Speaker 1 But sometimes it comes across a little robotic.

Speaker 1 If you're like, I am just reading the book and I'm doing every single thing that they're saying, but I'm not actually communicating with a human, that they're just doing that.

Speaker 1 And once he started telling me, this is what I'm doing and this is how I talk to people and this is what is it. And I went, is this how you talk to them too? Like that?

Speaker 1 And he was like, yeah, of course. And they listen and da-da-da-da.
I'm like, okay, let's, let's stop for a second. What's your goal? What's your objective with the people?

Speaker 1 Well, I want them to like me. Great.
Great place to start. So when we're talking about tone, it's like you're yelling at me like a dad.
Like, like, you're just telling me what to do. You're my coach.

Speaker 1 And like, some people don't need that. They need more of a mentor.
So if I were to change that objective and say, like, I want you to mentor me a little bit, how would you now talk to me about that?

Speaker 1 And so then he backed off a little bit. He was like, okay, well, let's see how I can help you.
I'm like, there. Do you see how you did that?

Speaker 1 How you just took it back from that like aggressive forward telling you what to do? But like, no, how can I help you? Like, we bring it in in a different way.

Speaker 1 So for him, I was like, the tone is not necessarily the problem. It's your objective in what it is.

Speaker 1 And once you have that clear objective of how you want them to perceive you, then it goes a different route and you have a different voice to them. So you have to think about it in a different way.

Speaker 1 Take that a few steps back. Right.

Speaker 1 Right. So you basically, I like how you did that because you want, a lot of people are very robotic.
They read a ton of these books. Totally.
And the books are wonderful, by the way.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't, you're not, you're not embodying what it is. It's words and it's very academic, right?

Speaker 1 It's very sterile. It's very sterile.

Speaker 1 And if we all read those books and we all do the things, we're all going to be a bunch of robots in this society who like shake hands a certain way and downtown a certain way and work our body through that.

Speaker 1 We're all going to be the same. Like we have to have.
us, our humanity, and the way we communicate with people as well. That has to be a part of it.

Speaker 1 Well, I think the way like you, you make, especially in a leadership role, right? Tweaking it from being talking down to somebody, like at, or sorry, at somebody

Speaker 1 versus as a mentor. That's a really good way of putting it.

Speaker 1 Like, like, so to sound more mentor-like and not such, like, like such a robot or would you say, what would be, what would that be called that you're teaching them to do? What were those action items?

Speaker 1 Like, you're telling them to change their tone, their voice by sounding more mentor-like. What's that step? What is that step? It's taking a step back and getting first the objective.

Speaker 1 You have to think, you have to, everything has to zoom out a little bit. Okay.
How do you want someone to perceive you? How do you want them to look at you? Respect, but also like

Speaker 1 that you care. Yeah, I care is huge.
And when you're caring for somebody, it's not like, okay, great, get this in by Monday, right? No, 100%.

Speaker 1 Hi, how are you? Take a moment. Even I'm like you.
I am busy. Sometimes I do not have time to ask somebody how they are.
Yeah. It's a whole thing actually in business.

Speaker 1 A lot of people, especially now, you need to kind of like foreplay it for like five minutes. Thousand people.
You know, how was your weekend? What did you do?

Speaker 1 And you're like, I just have to get to the point here. Totally.
So, but you can't circumvent that. How do you, you can't get away with that with not, you still, so that's not really a tone.

Speaker 1 It is a tone, but it's an additional five minutes that you have to add to the conversation. So I would take the tone of that of like, how are you? How is your weekend?

Speaker 1 And I would add that tone to like the thing we need to get done. And sometimes you don't need the five minutes.
It's a long foreplay.

Speaker 1 Get straight to the mail.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's go to the main meal. But I would say, hi, thanks so much for doing this.
Can I have you do that, please? Thank you again. Where there's a warmth of the warmth.

Speaker 1 How that, I guess that's it, right?

Speaker 1 Like, I guess what what i'm confused not confused is the wrong word but can you teach somebody how to be warm when they're not naturally like that won't it come across fake

Speaker 1 if it is fake but you have to also find that authentic warmthness so

Speaker 1 you are a businesswoman like me you get straight to it what is something that you would tell me Like if you're telling me a task to do for next week, imagine I'm your assistant. Give me something.

Speaker 1 Oh, give me a task. Give me a task.
Email Bob. Great.

Speaker 1 Now, imagine that like, I was hurt or sick or something happened to me. But that's EQ.
Sure. But, but wait, but wait.
So, so imagine something hurt or happened to me.

Speaker 1 What would you say to me right there? How are you? How are you feeling? Great. That's something you just did right there.
Now with that feeling, tell me to email Bob the same way.

Speaker 1 Can you email Bob, please? Bad. Right.
But this is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 What portion, this is most of it's also like teaching someone EQ, like picking up on nuance. So much so.

Speaker 1 Understanding how what make people, well, how I talk to, like we said earlier, my tone of voice with you will be very different than my tone of voice with Karen, because I know Karen is more sensitive and needs this.

Speaker 1 And like, I have to handle her differently. You, you, it could be straight down and dirty and you appreciate it more.
Love it. Right? Love it.
But you have to know your audience. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You need to know your audience with all of it. When you're speaking to a big crowd or even to one person or a small business meeting, know your audience.
Yeah. Or do they want that down and dirty?

Speaker 1 Give me it real fast. Or do they need a little bit of that? Yeah.
And sometimes you could use a little bit of that in everywhere, just a little charm.

Speaker 1 Have you ever done like a real talk where you teach people how to talk? Yeah, totally. Have you ever done a talk? Yeah.
Yeah. I

Speaker 1 worked with a big office of women. So Danny Garcia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know her. Yeah.
So I went to her.

Speaker 1 People don't know. So Danny Garcia is The Rock's ex-wife, but business partner, and she runs 7 Bucks Productions.
Right. Yeah.
So she has an awesome business of women. It's all women.
And she has

Speaker 1 a bodybuilder. She's, she's a.

Speaker 1 powerhouse and a mad awesome yeah awesome human but she had me come into her office and speak with all of her women in a big talk situation and say, like, how can we each sound as capable as we are?

Speaker 1 Because we work in a world of men. We are in like a very big man's world.
And how can we hold our own? So I did that. I went and I sat and I said, all right, ladies, let's do this.

Speaker 1 How are we speaking? How do you want to become across? How do you want other people to look at you? You're sitting with a bunch of men.

Speaker 1 So you don't have the same, hi, that you're talking to your friends. You know, if you're with some other guy, you change it a little bit.
And don't be afraid that it's fake. It is fake.

Speaker 1 We're all a little fake. We're all putting it on.
The only time I'm 100% real is when I'm like laying in bed and I'm talking to my husband. I'm like, honey, I'm so tired or whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 One time where I'm just like, I'm not putting anything on. But it's okay to be fake.
Like, that's something that. has such a bad connotation.
And I don't think it should. Yeah.
I really don't.

Speaker 1 You know, I think that you're right. There is such a bad connotation.

Speaker 1 like we're all putting it on we all like you know chris rock says like we go out our sales reps our representatives are the ones who are out there all you know when you want to have a date when you want to like impress a girl a boy get a job your your your sales rep is is doing the job that's part of life like you're not you know if you want to like achieve and like do things and and work nicely with other people there's going to be an element of an elevated you and that's the EQ of it all too.

Speaker 1 Exactly. It's okay to be fake.
We have to just accept that. And it's not like we're fake in a bad way.
There's nothing malicious about it. No, it's like, you know, I go somewhere.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, my, okay, fuck, I got to go in there. I got to pull myself together.

Speaker 1 Like if you're in a bad mood, okay, and I'm going to a meeting or whatever, I got to just pull myself together and like put it on for 20 minutes. Totally.
And then you will follow suit.

Speaker 1 Again, the fake it till you make it. Yeah, you'll follow suit.
You'll get into a better mood. If you're smiling and you're having a good time with people and like, oh yeah, I am pissed.

Speaker 1 It's too much energy to be pissed. That's true.
There's like a bunch of people who say, like, if you just smile, you can smile your way to being happy, even when you're not happy.

Speaker 1 Yes, because you just release endorphins by acting a certain way. Totally.
And so that's the same way of all of this. Like we're going to be the person we want to be.
See that. What is your objective?

Speaker 1 What do you want that to sound like? I like what you said also about the capable.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to that because you already told us a little bit about how to sound like we are in control, that we're knowledgeable earlier.

Speaker 1 But when you went into Danny's office with the women to kind of help them

Speaker 1 like kind of give off that they are capable, smart women, what did you do? You were sitting there for an hour, let's say. How long was your meeting? So I did a few different things.

Speaker 1 Number one, I did a big talk with everybody and then I went individually one by one. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because I think sometimes with some of this stuff, like you can give the big generals, but each person is different. You know, that's why I've had such a hard time writing a book.

Speaker 1 Because I'm like, it's every person, every human. Yeah, it's true.
It's so individual. It is, right? Because every personality is so different, right?

Speaker 1 So how you work with one person is going to be different.

Speaker 1 So pull out a couple of examples of some people that were certain ways that you helped them tweak that maybe people who are listening can relate to. Right.

Speaker 1 So I would have everybody, when I was talking to everybody, I would pretend like I was talking individually. And I said, write down three things you're fantastic at in your job.

Speaker 1 Like, I want you to think about it. And this is where that self-esteem comes into it.
Like, this is, I want you to brag.

Speaker 1 I want you to be like, I am fucking awesome at communications or whatever it is. And so I had them all write it down.

Speaker 1 And then I went around and I said, I want you to tell me what it is that you're doing so well. And when you do it, I want you to convince everybody that you're that great.

Speaker 1 Like believe it before you say it. And it has to come from here, or it's not going to feel authentic.
If you're like, I'm the best bread baker in the world, you're like, are you?

Speaker 1 You know, like, but if you believe it, like, you haven't tried my bread, I am the best bread maker in the world. You know, whatever it is, you have to believe that.
So, I would start with that.

Speaker 1 Start with your positives. Start with the things that are easy.
to prove to somebody else. I am amazing.
Then from there, say it. Believe it.
Go big, go animated.

Speaker 1 What word is the most important in that? I am the best breadmaker in the world. And then I'm like, punch that.
Punch the word best.

Speaker 1 Punch the word that is the one that you want them to really focus on. Like, and it's going to be different words throughout.

Speaker 1 So I would have them all go around and do different things where they punched a word and then they would pause before the word or the phrase or the couple words that they wanted people to really listen to.

Speaker 1 So I am the best bread maker in the world. So then they were like, whoa, whoa.
Just to have that pause, have that moment to listen to it and really absorb what they're saying. I love that.

Speaker 1 Is there another example? Or that's the.

Speaker 1 And we can like, we can wrap it because I know you've got it. Your car is waiting for you.

Speaker 1 127. Oh, yes.
They're always early. I know.
Well, just

Speaker 1 no, no, no. I'm saying they're always early.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Give me a second.
Okay. How.

Speaker 1 This is a pause, everybody. This is a pause.

Speaker 1 We can edit this out.

Speaker 1 Or no, you said pauses are great.

Speaker 1 Pauses are so great. Yeah, I know.
I'm getting like Schwitzy with the legs. I know.
And she's also been on for an hour. See, you get your green.
She's been fake for about an hour.

Speaker 1 So it's like a lot of topic. I'm going to come out of here.
I'm like, all right, guys, let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 You don't even listen. If you don't have an example, that's fine.
You gave us a lot. No, I want to think of something else.

Speaker 1 I like to write down the three things that you're really good at. That's a great, a great part of it.
Punch the word that you want people to remember. Good.

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot of good action items. You can pull in things that you want.
Is there another one? Yeah, I'm sure there is. Do you want some magic mind here? Why don't you like shake this up?

Speaker 1 By the way, we didn't even do this. We normally do this in the beginning of the podcast.
Yeah. So these help you with your focus and they're a healthy shot.

Speaker 1 They have Ashwagandha and all these amazing things. You should have done this an hour ago.
You should have. You would have been really on.
I would have really

Speaker 1 got broken your eye. You would have been basically through the roof, but maybe this will help you get that example.

Speaker 1 You don't drink, I can imagine not.

Speaker 1 I can imagine you would have to. This is good.

Speaker 1 You got to do it in one shot. Lachaim.
Lachaim. By the way, I've had like four of these.
Maybe I shouldn't even have any more. Is it good? Yeah.
Yeah, that's really good. People love it.

Speaker 1 I think all my guests love it. Can you think of one more example now? That works.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Reframe a question. Like, tell me a question again of like, what is just a

Speaker 1 like another question? Yeah. Just like a like reframe it in a way that I can just okay.
So to I think someone who feels

Speaker 1 this is actually a question I do have and then this could be our yeah like I work really well from a problem.

Speaker 1 Okay. Like I think a lot of people can actually be like,

Speaker 1 I'll use myself. Okay.
You know, I'm an I think I'm I'm like an outgoing person sometimes. I'm an outgoing person.
I'm extroverted and I'm not shy. Like I'll ask anybody anything all the time.

Speaker 1 But put me on a stage, I get really scared like I guess I can perform on stage yeah but it's like it take I'm like and I am not somebody who naturally feels super comfortable talking to a like a huge group of people I find like so people like and there are people out there who are the opposite right usually opposite like they're usually very shy but they go on stage and they shine right is there anything that and it's not because of a confidence not because i can write down the three things that i'm confident about and i can know all these things that you said, right?

Speaker 1 Like animation, changing the intonation of my voice, all those things, and still go up there. Is there anything else that I can take along with me for my voice to really kind of

Speaker 1 show my authoritatorship, my confidence, my be funny? I mean, to make myself a really good performer. I'm just trying to give you something.
Yeah, of course. Because

Speaker 1 it has nothing to do with lack of self-esteem or lack of confidence. It's just like

Speaker 1 a jittery thing. Yep.
And even if I have all those tools, I can still go up there and get nervous and scared and then not do all the things that I was told to do or practice to do.

Speaker 1 So it's so important before you go on, whether you're singing or speaking or doing any kind of talking in front of somebody, to center yourself, to breathe, and make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale.

Speaker 1 And I would do that. Have you heard of square breathing? Yep.
So I would do one, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, out, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four. So you keep doing that

Speaker 1 till you really center yourself. And once you feel

Speaker 1 I am centered, you know that everybody out there wants you to succeed. They want.
to hear you. You want to talk to them.
You're not talking at them, you're talking to them.

Speaker 1 So in your mind, think of the person you're speaking to, not a group of people, not a thousand people, not 20 people, but who is it? And you're having a conversation with them.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are good one-on-one, but when it gets to be more people, they're like, I don't know how to do it. It's because you're not picturing a human and a soul and a connection.

Speaker 1 You're picturing a wall of people. But if you can connect with one.
And again, it doesn't have to be looking at one, but you can say, I'm just connecting with you.

Speaker 1 I'm giving me and I want to give you too. I just want to connect.
Think of that. And the square breathing.

Speaker 1 And the square breathing to really start it off, to take those nerves down and don't jump into it. Take your time.
This is the thing that everybody's like, I got to go fast because I'm on here.

Speaker 1 And it's like really nervous to be like,

Speaker 1 that's exactly it. Taking your time.
That is what it is. You get so,

Speaker 1 we got to go. We got to go fast.
Like, no. Hi, everybody.
That's where the breathing comes in. Hi.

Speaker 1 Hi, Mamie.

Speaker 1 Thanks so much for being here.

Speaker 1 Today I'm going to be talking about voice. And so if I just took that one moment to connect, that connection is huge.
They're going to feel it. You're going to feel it.

Speaker 1 You're going to feel like you're talking to a person, not just

Speaker 1 a bunch of people. I like that.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Amy. Thank you.
Now you can go to New York.

Speaker 1 Get my place. Yeah, exactly.
I appreciate this. It was very, very fun and informative.
And like I said, I've never done a podcast on voice before. So this is really interesting.
And I hope somebody,

Speaker 1 or more than just one person, but takes something,

Speaker 1 they can integrate it into their lives. Cause I think you gave us a lot of great little action items.
Amazing. I'm so happy to.
I feel like I had a thousand things I wanted to talk about.

Speaker 1 And then I just got sidetracked of something else. Well, guess what? The good news is you can always come back.
Ah, I can't wait. I mean, with that hair.

Speaker 1 I mean, by the way, you want to say something about your hair. About imaging.
Oh, you know, you were asking about like routines. I know, I didn't ask you that's okay i find it

Speaker 1 i'll still talk about it because i can't shut up i uh i find it really important

Speaker 1 every day to look good

Speaker 1 and i know like people are like yeah but that's so shallow i'm like no no no i'm not doing it for other people right do it for me because if i know i look good i know my hair is done i know my makeup's done i like my outfit i like how i'm presenting yeah yeah yeah yeah then i feel confident and my self-esteem is higher yeah and i feel better about myself Yeah.

Speaker 1 And when I feel better about myself, I can talk. I can have the best time.
But if I go out and I'm like, my hair looks like shit. I'm tired.
I didn't put on a lip today.

Speaker 1 And I, like, my outfit is great. What am I wearing? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm not going to feel confident. I'm, you're going to look at me and be like, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 She's not confident because I don't feel confident. 100%.
I mean, I live in gym clothes. So I'm like the worst person to say that to.
But if you feel confident in that and you like it. I do.

Speaker 1 Cause you know why I feel confident in that? Because like I'm usually wearing my gym clothes because I came from the gym.

Speaker 1 gym and you got a bang and bot and you're happy to show that off too so like or I was just gonna and also I rather I think to myself at least I did something that was for myself that like bettered myself that made my brain more con more focused and like I sweat when you sweat I feel better yeah I rather look like shit because I really feel like I feel better knowing that I look like shit because I did something for myself beforehand so your working out is my getting getting ready getting ready yeah and it's also like a meditative moment when I'm sitting and putting on makeup or doing my hair.

Speaker 1 It's a moment that I'm not on my phone. I'm not doing a thousand things.
You got to concentrate. I'm concentrating and I'm doing one thing.
Never in my life do I do one thing at a time. I know.

Speaker 1 So it's my moment that I'm like, this is for me. I'm taking these 20 minutes and I'm going to put on my mascara for a painfully long time and I'm just going to do it.
And it's meditative. It is.

Speaker 1 It is. Meditative.
Writing is my meditation. Mascara is yours.

Speaker 1 Everybody's got their own. Everybody has their own.
God. Thank you, Amy, Amy, for being on here.
Guys, check out Amy. What's your Instagram?

Speaker 1 It's Amy Chapman. It's my Instagram website, VoiceLab LA.

Speaker 1 If you want a voice lesson,

Speaker 1 don't call her. She's too busy for you.

Speaker 1 But anyway.

Speaker 1 Talk somewhere.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Thank you.
That's great. Thank you.
Bye. Bye.
Bye.