Aparna Nancherla asks about holiday party faux pas

Speaker 1 This is a head gum podcast.

Speaker 2 You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart?

Speaker 2 Not checking that you have some Mayfax ready to go before a social gathering. Whenever there's a lull in the conversation, you got to jump in with a fun fact and save the day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds.
You're in good hands with all state.

Speaker 3 Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Speaker 3 The new year is nearly here, and that means resolutions for a lot of us. But for me, resolutions can feel more like a chore than something I'm excited to do.

Speaker 3 That's why my resolution is to learn about subjects that interest me with Masterclass.

Speaker 2 With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best.

Speaker 2 With plans starting at $10 a month, billed annually, you get unlimited access to to over 200 classes taught by the world's best business leaders, writers, chefs, and more.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to develop better habits and James Clear, the author of the best-selling book Atomic Habits, has a whole masterclass about how to develop small habits that can change your life.

Speaker 2 I love that I can learn wherever I am and on any device from my phone to my laptop, even my TV. There's no risk since every membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Speaker 3 Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com slash handsome for the current offer.

Speaker 3 That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com slash handsome. Masterclass.com slash handsome.

Speaker 3 Handsome, chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

Speaker 3 Cheers.

Speaker 3 Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's your friend Tig Notaros in here with May Martin and Fortune Beamster.

Speaker 3 Woohoo! Ram, rear, ram.

Speaker 3 Happy holidays. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Tis the season.

Speaker 2 It tis.

Speaker 3 It sure tis. It tis.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 2 If you're watching,

Speaker 2 you'll know this, but Tig is wearing a very handsome robe, dressing gown.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if not sexy.

Speaker 3 Tig Hefner.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Isn't that who we're looking at? That's right.

Speaker 3 This is your robe that you brought to Toronto? No, ma'am. I'm just in my hotel room and I am.

Speaker 3 You know, it's almost 8 p.m. here, but I have a very early call time.

Speaker 3 And so once this episode is wrapped, this little rascal is climbing into bed and going night night. Going night night.
Are you going to go night night in your robe?

Speaker 3 No, no. Are you going full command though?

Speaker 3 I sleep in my Ponties. I think we've already discussed this many times.
I sleep in my big girl Ponties. And your Grancy Pansies.

Speaker 2 You look so cozy. Have you had a bath?

Speaker 3 I did. I had a bath.
I had dinner.

Speaker 3 Tell us about it.

Speaker 3 Okay. Do you want to know about my dinner? Well, first I want to know about the bath, and then I want to know about your dinner.
Girl, dinner came before the bath. Whoa.

Speaker 3 Are you okay? Girl, are you okay? Girl. Girl, I had to cough, girl.
Are you sick? Fortunately, I know it is a tickle in my throat.

Speaker 2 No, it's because we were... The past two days, me and Fortune were filming on Fortune's show, and they had all that like fake smoke atmosphere in the air.

Speaker 3 And it was... Mess my throat up.
That happens on Star Trek too. It messed my chest up today and yesterday.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 the air is so thick and like chalky. And is that you think that's what it is, Fortune? I think so.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I cough for a few days after Star Trek because there's explosions always.

Speaker 3 Don't get away from telling us about your bath and dinner.

Speaker 3 Okay, but girl, I have to tell you about my dinner first because I like to go first.

Speaker 3 Well, my favorite restaurant, and this is no offense to my other favorite restaurants, but Planta

Speaker 3 is here.

Speaker 3 Have I talked to you about this? I just, yeah, I've heard you mention this place. Do you have a signature dish there? Oh, my gosh, all of them.
But their dessert is called, one of their desserts is

Speaker 3 just simply called Big Cookie. Have I told you about Big Cookie? Oh, God, I love that.

Speaker 2 And also, that should be like a wrap name.

Speaker 3 Big Cookie.

Speaker 3 Well, when we go to the Planta in LA, there's this waitress that we always get, and she knows that Stephanie and Max and Finn and I always jokingly call it big cookie. It just sounds so like,

Speaker 3 yeah, like, and what would you like for dessert? Big cookie. Like, they don't say what the flavor is.
They don't, and it's a chocolate chip cookie, but they only call it big cookie.

Speaker 3 And so when we get her as our waiter in LA, she's always like, and do you guys want big cookie? And yes, yes, we do. We do.

Speaker 3 Um, so yeah, I love all their stuff, but I had they have eggplant, what is it called? Unagi. Oh, and it's so good, like Japanese style, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 3 so you

Speaker 2 filled up your little tum, yes, I did.

Speaker 3 Uh, that wasn't the only thing I had, I had that, and I also had a Caesar salad, and I went ahead and had big cookie,

Speaker 3 and it's a good size, it's like it's big. They call it that for a reason.
Yeah. I love it.
And then I love you too. And then I finished that up.

Speaker 3 I wiped my face off and got into the tub fully naked, you guys. Oh, girl.

Speaker 3 Girl. Yeah, girl.
I took a bath fully naked today. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 Was it a full bath?

Speaker 3 Is it a tits out tub or were you fully tit?

Speaker 3 Oh, my gosh. My dumpster tits were hanging out all over the place.
It was insane. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You think you messed your chest up at work, Fortune. My chest is all sorts of messes up.

Speaker 3 Unrecognizable. Yeah.

Speaker 3 How are you both doing?

Speaker 2 I'm good because I'm buzzing from getting to do these couple of days on Fortune's show. And I was so nervous, but I loved seeing our girl Marie in action.

Speaker 3 Amazing.

Speaker 2 The bell of the ball, just everyone like surrounded by a gaggle of girls who just want to gossip.

Speaker 3 And it was so fun.

Speaker 3 It's so fun on set. There is a gaggle of women that just sit around

Speaker 3 and chat in between setups and stuff.

Speaker 3 Do they work on the show or they just bring them in to chat?

Speaker 3 They do work on the show. Okay.
Will has a lot of women that work for him and then his company.

Speaker 3 So it's a real fun vibe. So as soon as May sat down,

Speaker 3 I said, May, give him the hot gossip. Share with the gals.

Speaker 2 And I overshared.

Speaker 3 Oh, what was it?

Speaker 2 Oh, my whole romantic history. We got deep.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We gab, we give each other advice. We go, oh, no, no, uh-uh.

Speaker 3 We do a lot of that.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So May was brought right into the fold

Speaker 3 of the gabbing that happens.

Speaker 3 Yesterday I had to

Speaker 2 shoot a gun and

Speaker 2 shoot it five times and it was pressure was on because they have like a special effects setup where like dust falls from the ceiling like you've shot it, but I had to try and

Speaker 2 Hollywood magic and I got it wrong the first time mainly because after the first shot Will did this like womanly scream that was so funny to me and so Will Farrell and there's nothing funnier than a man shrieking like that.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'm in heaven. I kept having out of body like like, in the little green room area with Molly Shannon and Will Farrell, like heroes of mine.

Speaker 3 And they were talking about Fortune theme steroid was likely there. Of course, Fortune.
I was going in and out of that room because I

Speaker 3 sit with the village gals and then I go in there because normally we're all together, but in this particular location, everyone was separated.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But man, hearing like stories from 90s SNL and they were, I was just like, in total heaven. What nice people, silly, nice people.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, it's a fun show. That's great.
Yeah, we got to,

Speaker 3 you know, figure this out so I can do my part. That's right.

Speaker 3 Seriously. I was sadly unavailable when I was asked to come in.
Oh, shit. I wonder who replaced me.
I hope it wasn't me. I don't think it was.

Speaker 3 No, it wasn't because it was when I was filming last time I was in Toronto. Okay, okay, yeah.
So whoever that was.

Speaker 3 But either way, well, that sounds like a darned good time, especially to be able to sit around.

Speaker 3 No way. No, a news flash.
Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube.
Serious news flash. Don't even say what happened.
Wow. Okay.

Speaker 2 We've been blessed by the presence of an angel here.

Speaker 3 Yes, we are. I'll give you one clue.
His eyes? Dead. No.

Speaker 3 They're full of life.

Speaker 3 Oh, look at him. I'm back with my baby bear for a little bit.
Oh, my gosh. I have really missed him.
I think about him probably every other day. I miss him too.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 he's so cute. His eyes, how are they looking? Is he flying?

Speaker 3 How are his eyes looking?

Speaker 3 Dead. Completely dead.
Yeah. But he's so cute.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 And what has he been up to?

Speaker 3 He's been,

Speaker 3 he's from

Speaker 3 a broken home now. So he has to.
That's so sad.

Speaker 2 How does he like the new house?

Speaker 3 He likes it because, you know, there's um, it's oh,

Speaker 3 total. What the hell was that?

Speaker 2 He just, I think Biggie just coughed.

Speaker 3 He's getting older, so he has a wheeze. You guys need to lie down and take the rest of the day off.
I know. Jeez.
The new house is good because it's small and um

Speaker 3 he can scoot around it easily yeah um and there's a back a little backyard with grass in there that he likes to tinkle in oh and some of the not much but a couple furniture pieces are from the old house that he's like i know this furniture

Speaker 3 this house is unfamiliar but yeah he's does he seem confused being from a broken home now or does he seem could you tell the difference yeah doesn't he always he's always a bit confused he's always chill so yeah he becomes attached to whoever he's with you know right so when so when he's with the jacks he's very attached to her and follows her around and when he is with me he's very attached to me and follows me around and you know i don't know that just is whoever he's with that's where his heart is yeah

Speaker 2 imagine if this if this podcast ever broke up i'd be i feel like i'd be the biggie yeah

Speaker 3 oh

Speaker 3 i feel like if this podcast breaks up i'm getting biggie

Speaker 3 oh god

Speaker 3 is that a threat wouldn't that be a weird outcome he's gonna have to take biggie

Speaker 2 i don't think biggie would stick out in kitty city i really don't because the cats just lounge around on the bed together i think they would manipulate him like older siblings like they they're they're cats are smart i feel like they'd have him doing their errands for them and like they'd convince him to steal stuff from the fridge.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 3 he's very intrigued by cats because he hasn't spent hardly any time around them. So he sees them like

Speaker 3 an outdoor cat and he'll be like, what's your deal? Hmm. I feel like the little cloud above Biggie's head is always just like

Speaker 3 saying

Speaker 3 whatevs. Whatevs.

Speaker 3 I think you're right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He seems fine with whatevs.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, you know how they sometimes they train dogs to press buttons that say words to communicate like outside, food, whatever.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, with Biggie, you'd get all the buttons, and then you'd get one that says what Ev's, and he'd just hit that every time.

Speaker 3 He'd hit it all day and night. What Ev's when he's not eating or sleeping or tinkling progress.

Speaker 3 Stop calling me Dead Eyes. I'm full of life.
Yeah. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 2 Tig, I told Fortune this on a mini-sode, but I haven't told you that I got a car.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That is ridiculous. I is

Speaker 2 ridiculous. It is ridiculous.

Speaker 3 Why would you get a car? I'm pumped about it.

Speaker 2 I don't have my license yet either, but I have my learner's permit and I'm learning. So I got a car so I could practice every day.

Speaker 3 I've been bopping around. Is it a black suburban or Cadillac? A black,

Speaker 2 it's a Lexus and it's,

Speaker 2 it looks like a little Subaru almost. It's

Speaker 3 cute. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So when I'm driving, I have to have someone with me in the car, but I cannot have music playing. I can't have anyone talking to me.
I'm focused. I got the guy

Speaker 2 telling me where to go and the voice of the map. And I'm loving it.

Speaker 3 Wait, and you have not gotten your license yet?

Speaker 2 No. So when I bought the car, I couldn't even test drive it because you've got to,

Speaker 2 and you can't drive it off the lot unless you have insurance. So I had to get my assistant to, I had to be on their insurance.

Speaker 3 And it was a whole thing.

Speaker 2 But I do my test on Monday, and by the time this comes out, hopefully, I'm going to be driving Santa's goddamn sleigh. Who knows?

Speaker 3 Wow, May.

Speaker 3 Huge. Congrats.
Thanks.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to drive you guys somewhere.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 3 I will meet you there. Yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 2 I think I'm going to get the muscle memory and be a be a natural.

Speaker 2 I did bump a car with, I did hit a car, but I was just trying, well, I was trying to parallel park and I just gave it a little tap and then I thought, I'm not going to park here. And I ran

Speaker 3 usually fine. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Are they?

Speaker 3 As long as it's a little tap.

Speaker 3 And if the owner of the car saw the little tap, would you feel like, oh, that's fine? Well, they would have to suss it out.

Speaker 2 And I would say, listen. I'm on my assistance insurance.

Speaker 3 I don't have my full license.

Speaker 2 Please give me a break.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 2 But it feels good to be in my little world in my, in my car, in my bubble.

Speaker 3 I love it for you. And what made you buy a car? Because you knew

Speaker 3 you're feeling confident you're going to pass this test and you're ready to hit the road.

Speaker 2 I've done so many lessons and I feel like I, if I, I should be driving every day just to really get it in my system and it would help me pass the test. So I've been just practicing.

Speaker 3 That is adorable.

Speaker 2 I do feel like a grown-up. Like, it's actually changed how I feel about myself and my life.

Speaker 3 Like, I feel,

Speaker 2 yeah, like, I really feel safer.

Speaker 3 And did you, you really didn't feel like an adult before two days ago? No,

Speaker 3 no.

Speaker 3 No, it was interesting.

Speaker 2 No, I was living, I was living wrong.

Speaker 3 Live in La Vida Loca?

Speaker 2 I was living in La Vida Loca.

Speaker 3 And now. And what language is that? Espanola.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 Espanola.

Speaker 3 You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking for spider webs before walking down a garden path.

Speaker 3 I really don't like walking into a spider web, and I'm pretty sure the spiders don't like me messing up their hard work either.

Speaker 2 Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds.
You're in good hands with Allstate.

Speaker 2 Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Tomboy X is in the business of butts.

Speaker 2 They've been making size and gender-inclusive underwear for over 10 years, so they know a thing or two about making the perfect pair.

Speaker 2 They make premium underwear, bras, swimwear, and loungewear that is queer-designed because Tomboy X is also queer-founded and queer-run.

Speaker 2 From thongs to boy shorts to briefs, Tomboy X offers 12 different silhouettes to help you find the support you need.

Speaker 2 Their designs are created with all-day comfort in mind, from sizes extra small through 6x.

Speaker 2 So whether you're wearing their premium underwear, bras, swim, or loungewear, you'll always feel comfortable in your skin.

Speaker 2 Handsome wants to let you know that the Tomboy X year-end warehouse sale is live. Shop hundreds of styles on sale at some of the lowest prices of the year.

Speaker 2 So fill your drawer with your soon-to-be favorite undies.

Speaker 3 Tomboy X was kind enough to send me a few pairs of their premium briefs and they're now my go-to bottoms. They're so comfortable, perfect for sleeping in and everyday wear.

Speaker 2 We're confident you're going to love Tomboy X as much as we do. Head over to tomboyx.com and use promo code handsome15 for 15% off your purchase and tell them HandsomePod sent you.

Speaker 2 Teaching kids about money is tough.

Speaker 2 It's hard to know where to start and financial literacy is such an important part of growing up and you want to give kids the right lesson at the right time for them.

Speaker 2 That's where Acorns Early comes in. Acorns Early is the money app and debit card that I wish I had when I was growing up and learning about money.

Speaker 3 Acorns Early is the money app and debit card that makes it easy to grow kids' smart money habits. Acorns Early lets kids learn by doing.
Kids get to feel independent and parents get peace of mind.

Speaker 3 As I teach my kids financial literacy and independence, I'm so glad I have Acorns Early to help me along the way.

Speaker 2 Are you ready to join over 1.2 million parents and kids who've unlocked their kids' potential with Acorns Early?

Speaker 2 Get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com slash handsome pod or download the Acorns Early app. That's one month free when you sign up at acornsearly.com/slash handsome pod.

Speaker 2 Acorns Early card is issued by NBKC Bank, member FDIC, pursuant to license by Visa USA. Free trial for new subscribers only.
Subscription fees starting from $5 per month unless canceled.

Speaker 2 Terms apply at acorns.com slash early terms.

Speaker 3 You know, you don't know this, but I'll tell you. Our housekeeper, when she comes over, when she sees our cats, she's like, Elgato.

Speaker 3 Mm-hmm. That means cat.
I know, but when you think about it, like

Speaker 3 if I went to somebody's house, I wouldn't just say cat.

Speaker 2 Does she maybe not know their name?

Speaker 3 I don't think so, but she's essentially saying the cat, right? The cat, the cat. The cat.
The cat.

Speaker 3 yeah. So, I, it hit me the other day, um, and I said that to Stephanie.
I was like, wait, isn't she essentially walking in every morning and just saying the cat?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 and she says it in a very loving voice.

Speaker 3 I love it, yeah. It's just uh, it's just a funny little thought.

Speaker 3 The cat,

Speaker 3 and there's multiple, so she's not even saying los gatos.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 hello, fortune. yeah that's the plural of cats you know what i forgot to tell you guys please

Speaker 3 we had a funny moment at our house the other day what

Speaker 3 finn said

Speaker 3 fortune asked something about fortune or said something about fortune and um

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 yeah i can't remember i can't remember what he asked or said and then i just i was kind of taking a moment to where i was like

Speaker 3 you know, he's only met you, what, once or twice or something?

Speaker 3 Twice, yeah. Yeah.
And

Speaker 3 so I was like, oh, because in my head, I'm thinking, of course, he remembers you.

Speaker 3 And I said,

Speaker 3 that's so funny that you brought up Fortune. I said, do you, do you remember Fortune? And he said, yeah.
And I said, do you know Fortune's last name? And he said, Feemster.

Speaker 3 And I was like, whoa.

Speaker 3 Wow. Yeah.
And then I said, Do you know my other

Speaker 3 co-host on Handsome? And he said, Yeah,

Speaker 3 Mae Martin. No way.
Yes. Wait, what?

Speaker 3 It's not a handsome listener.

Speaker 3 But it was one of those moments where, you know, people say kids are like sponges and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 And it's not like I walk around the house going, Fortune Themester's on the phone, or I need to, you know, make sure to tell Mae Martin. And that he that he pronounced it correctly with my last name.

Speaker 3 Completely. Completely.
Impressive. It's such a tiny little thing, but

Speaker 3 it blew our minds. We were just like, wow.
Blows my mind.

Speaker 3 I wonder what else is in there, you know? Oh my gosh. There's so many moments like that.

Speaker 2 I will say that I was I was visiting with Amma recently and she was playing on like a thing that was gonna break or something. So I went, oh, Ama, don't play on that.
And she goes, I'm not playing.

Speaker 2 I'm gaying.

Speaker 3 And she's seven. And I went, what?

Speaker 2 And then I said, what, do you know what? What do you, what does gay mean to you? And she goes, you're gay.

Speaker 3 And I said,

Speaker 2 what is it? And she goes, it's, yeah, it's when a boy marries a boy. And I was like, okay.

Speaker 3 But I'm all right.

Speaker 2 I'm not playing. I'm gay.
And was so good. And then the other good one she had was, I said, I was trying to give a May fact.

Speaker 2 And I went, did you know that the reason that they put clementines and oranges in Christmas stockings?

Speaker 3 And she goes, oranges, boringes.

Speaker 3 I was speechless. I was like, that is.
I'm going to watch some Adam Sandler movies. Boranges.
Borophyll, more like Bora Phil. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wow. And how she's seven now?

Speaker 2 Yes. And she's funny, and she knows when she's funny.
And I laughed so hard at Boranges that then, for the whole rest of the day, it was Boringes 24/7. It was, she kept whipping it up.

Speaker 3 I have to be honest, I feel a little like Boringes too.

Speaker 3 What do you mean? I'm just not terribly into oranges. I like orange candies.
Oh, wow. Yeah, I know.
I'm here to blow your mind. I don't ever really

Speaker 3 either. I know that's shocking because I'm really known for all the fruit I consume.

Speaker 3 You're known for it. Fruity Fortune.
Fruity Fortune. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't like, I'm not a real texture crazy person, but the texture of like those little white things you have to peel off the in-between the yee, I'm just like, no, thank you.

Speaker 2 It's Russian roulette with an orange in a way that most fruits, there's a little more consistency. You know what you're getting.

Speaker 2 With an orange, it could either be the most delicious, sweet, fresh, cold, or it's actual garbage. You know, when it's when it's all pithy and on the on the edge.

Speaker 3 I'll eat them. It's just not the same as a

Speaker 3 what are the honey crisp apple for me. A honey crisp apple is like, oh,

Speaker 3 you know who likes those?

Speaker 3 My boy Biggie. Really? He loves to just nibble on a little apple.
Oh, he's just like,

Speaker 3 loves it.

Speaker 3 That is cute. Very precious.
I always let my cats smell anything that's on my fork or spoon because I'm curious their response. I'll be like, oh, you want to smell this?

Speaker 3 And then sometimes they're very interested and other times it's like, what the hell? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Really good information, Tig. Keep it coming.
Keep it forgotten. Keep it, buddy.

Speaker 2 All of us today are

Speaker 3 the stuff we're coming up with is pure gold well because you know the holidays are upon us so we're exactly thinking we're i think we're getting in holiday mode yeah that must be what's going on yeah not the slow decline of

Speaker 3 our lives

Speaker 3 and we'll be right back after these messages

Speaker 3 because our lives are all going down a hill into a fiery pit. Oh, it's just a little bit of a trend.
And imploding right here on live. Oh my gosh.
Wait, what?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I mean, I guess, like, after, what, 30? You are, it is a sort of inevitable cognitive decline.

Speaker 3 Oh, sorry. Is that true? Well, your body does.
Please keep these positive Mayfax coming. Happy holidays.
But your body does start to die after 25 years. Really? Yeah.
It starts to

Speaker 3 just,

Speaker 3 I don't think your body makes any new cells or, you know, but I'm also not reliable as far as science or anything, really. I've been trying to have cozy Tom because

Speaker 3 I've been putting the fireplace on at night. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. And getting a blanket out.
Go on. And me and my biggie boy cuddle up on the couch.
Yeah. I did open up a bottle of wine the other night.

Speaker 3 And then you recorked it immediately. I poured one glass and recorked it.

Speaker 3 I put out my little tiny pink Christmas tree. How tiny? You have a tiny pink Christmas tree.
I think it's a four-footer. No, maybe a three and a half footer.
Okay. It's little.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Well, let's find out. Is it three and a half or four feet? Three and a half.
Okay. All right.
And it's pink. That's nice.

Speaker 2 I got a tree and

Speaker 2 my...

Speaker 2 My friend Matt, who lives in the back and his girlfriend, she has never decorated a tree before. It's just not a thing in China.

Speaker 2 And she was so excited and i bought all these ornaments and stuff and and lights and then it really i had to make such a conscious effort to just let her do her thing like i didn't realize till we started how opinionated i was about like oh well we can yep that's a little high for that ball like yeah we might want to space it out a little

Speaker 2 and uh the lights especially i'm like you got to put the lights deep in by the stalk, the trunk.

Speaker 2 And it's pretty wild with the result, but it looks pretty cozy.

Speaker 3 Have you guys done decorations tig um we had a little bit of a a tree trimming party with stephanie's mother which we um she comes in town and uh

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 she's the strongest one out of everyone and um what do you mean

Speaker 3 she is like like pumping iron like

Speaker 3 not no but she's just like she's sturdy she's a sturdy woman and uh sure she's inching towards 70 but like she climbs up into our garage and pulls down.

Speaker 3 We just, it depends on what our holiday plans are. If we get a real tree or we use a fake one, so this year we use the

Speaker 3 fake one, and man, Nana pulled that down off of that top shelf. And

Speaker 3 yeah, so we had a nice night of Christmas music and

Speaker 3 well, I was going to say eggnog, but we had oat nog.

Speaker 3 Oat no.

Speaker 3 We had oat nog, and we

Speaker 3 put the ornaments on and yeah, and all the kitties circled around. It was nice, and I

Speaker 3 feel very lucky and thankful that Nana,

Speaker 3 she could be like, yeah, whatevs.

Speaker 3 I live a couple hours away. I'm not going to be driving in for a night, you know, but she comes in, spends a night, and we have our little tree trimming party.

Speaker 3 And it's just Max and she always brings Max and Finn Christmas socks, and they wear them year-round.

Speaker 3 Cute. It's just great.
It's a good time.

Speaker 2 I feel like tree trimming must be a euphemism for something.

Speaker 2 Like having a tree trimming,

Speaker 3 I don't know. Like trimming bush.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, fortune.

Speaker 3 Fortune

Speaker 3 Marie. You said a euphemism for something.
I mean, what else could it be? It's not bush.

Speaker 2 I realized a toxic quality I have. Sometimes I set you up, Fortune.

Speaker 2 I'll say something vaguely.

Speaker 3 For me, I take the fall, baby. Yeah, I don't go all the way.

Speaker 3 You're very toxic. I'm toxic.
You're like, let me see how I can get Fortune in trouble with Tig.

Speaker 3 We should play Britney Spears Toxic, right?

Speaker 3 Drop that in for a little bit.

Speaker 3 It's getting in late.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. What if Britney Spears asked a handsome question? Oh, my God.
My. She's lucky.
She's a star.

Speaker 2 What's my okay? My best Britney Spears asking a handsome question would be.

Speaker 3 Hello, heads up.

Speaker 2 I'm here doing.

Speaker 3 Isn't that kind of what her Instagram's like these days? It's like a little Liza Manelli in there.

Speaker 2 And she's like spinning around. My question for you is simply this.

Speaker 3 I enjoy Brittany.

Speaker 2 I love her.

Speaker 3 You know what? I took Stephanie. I got Stephanie.

Speaker 3 Britney Spears and Vegas tickets years ago, and we went together and saw that.

Speaker 3 How was it?

Speaker 3 It was

Speaker 3 great.

Speaker 3 The grandmother side of me came out. I'm not that familiar with her music, but a lot of people had on hats that said work, bitch.
That's right. You better work, bitch.
Okay.

Speaker 3 You better work, bitch. Danny, Danny.
And I didn't know that was her song. And I was like,

Speaker 3 that's kind of rude.

Speaker 3 I am working. Stop calling me a bitch.

Speaker 3 But now, something did happen during the concert.

Speaker 3 And I think what I saw and Stephanie saw was what was happening.

Speaker 3 And if you are from the Britney Spears team, please get in touch and correct us if we're wrong.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 when she was dancing and singing,

Speaker 3 you saw a titty.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 I think I saw

Speaker 3 something

Speaker 3 used for menstrual cycles, maybe in pad

Speaker 3 form

Speaker 3 that was sticking out, and then she mysteriously danced off stage for a while. Oh my God.
I just said to someone from the team. Hello, we would like to talk to a

Speaker 3 correction there. Oh my God.

Speaker 3 But I was like, Stephanie, what is that?

Speaker 3 weird white thing sticking out of her leotard and you know whatever And stuff is like, oh my God.

Speaker 3 And then, truly, moments later, she danced awkwardly off the stage and then she reappeared and it was not there anymore. See, this is the problem with leotards.
It's why I stay away from them. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Exactly why the three of us,

Speaker 3 including Thomas, I would imagine he keeps his distance from. I don't want my big old pad coming out of my leotard.
Because that's what you use. I thought you used 200 tampons

Speaker 3 to plug up McCooter.

Speaker 3 I need all those tampons to plug McCooter.

Speaker 2 I have an embarrassing story that I just thought of that I haven't thought of in so long, which is age 14 at Second City, like 14, you're still figuring your period out. Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 You're too embarrassed to ask advice or anything and you're freestyling. And yeah, braces, acne, long hair.

Speaker 2 And I guess I'd run out of like tampons or pads or whatever. and I'd just watted up toilet paper.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is this gross? Whatever.

Speaker 3 Oh, whatevs, right, Mickey?

Speaker 2 So it was in my jeans, in my underwear, and it must have fallen out and down my trouser leg

Speaker 2 and out onto the floor. And then somebody found it was like, oh, what's it? It was in Second City, the comedy club on the floor.
And someone was going, there's a bloody tissue on the floor.

Speaker 3 And I was going, I was going, oh, no,

Speaker 2 whose is that?

Speaker 3 And my head

Speaker 3 pounding. Disgusting.
You knew it was your bloody tissue. Oh, right away.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Hopefully they don't test this for DNA.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, God.

Speaker 3 What if that's what Second City was like? If you find any bloody tissue on the stage, we do have a DNA tester. Yeah.
Send it to the Second City class.

Speaker 3 Yeah. The front bottle.
So someone had to be the one to pick it up.

Speaker 3 Oh, this poor.

Speaker 2 It would have been weird if I was like, I don't know whose that is, but I'll pick it up.

Speaker 3 I'll pick it up and I'll throw it away.

Speaker 3 And the whole time you're like, this is disgusting, you guys.

Speaker 3 You guys, my friend Steph Willen, who is also a producer on Come See Me in the Good Light, the Andrea doc,

Speaker 3 the one who got thumbed

Speaker 3 at the dinner party.

Speaker 3 If you haven't seen Come See Me in the Good Light, check it out. You'll see who Steph is.
I'll do a little thumb here and there.

Speaker 3 That's not what we're talking about right now. But listen, Steph

Speaker 3 had just moved to LA.

Speaker 3 She had gotten an acting job, but she was completely unaware of how props worked or anything like that.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 she was told in a rehearsal when they were blocking the scene and rehearsing and whatever. They were like, and then this is, and then at this point, then Steph will throw her dirty underwear.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 onto the floor. This rings a bell.

Speaker 3 And she was like, oh, God, this is so uncomfortable. But she took her underwear off.

Speaker 3 Her real underwear.

Speaker 3 That's right. She did that.
Oh, God.

Speaker 3 Anyway, so

Speaker 3 yeah, and then somebody was like, whose underwear is like after somebody, everybody had walked away, somebody asked whose underwear that was. It's just like, oh, it's mine.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 And they're like, no, we use prop underwear you don't have to take your your own filthy underwear off and toss it to the middle of the room they go

Speaker 3 your bloody underwear should we go to um our question and asker yes off cases i don't want to talk about this and talk about periods and if anybody's listening still yeah

Speaker 2 handsome is brought to you by squarespace squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whatever your goals.

Speaker 2 Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain and then showcase your offerings and grow your brand with a professional, personalized website that stands out from the rest.

Speaker 3 Get paid on time with on-brand invoices and easy online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and powerful email marketing tools.

Speaker 3 Get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto-generated sitemap, and more.

Speaker 3 So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Your website is an extension of your brand, so make it shine with Squarespace.

Speaker 2 What are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com slash handsome for a free trial.

Speaker 2 And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code HANSOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett.
No, no, no, no. It's always Kyle Mooney.
Yes, sorry about that. Exactly.
No, all good. All good.
Thanks, buddy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and we host the show, What's Our Podcast here on Head Gum. But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled that we didn't have a website for our show yet.
They were like, you don't have a website? What are you guys?

Speaker 4 Kindergarteners? They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very web-savvy guests.

Speaker 4 Should we tell them who it was?

Speaker 4 Looks we could play 20 questions.

Speaker 4 I don't think we have time for that. Is it a person? No, it's not.

Speaker 4 It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website.
Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website. Thanks, man.
You had some amazing ideas.

Speaker 4 Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking.

Speaker 4 And I was like, let's put a little, let's put some widgets in there. I was talking about widgets.
You kept on using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there.

Speaker 4 And you might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website.
Know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that.

Speaker 4 We had a lot of fun making this episode without financing this website.

Speaker 4 I think you're going to have a fun time listening to it and maybe watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you.
Yeah, yeah, this is a gift for you. Okay.

Speaker 4 It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the Head Gum Network.

Speaker 4 Go check out the bonus episode, What's Our website from What's Our Podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to squarespace.com/slash beckonkyle for a free trial.

Speaker 4 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code BeckandKyle. Yes, sir.
To save 10% off your first purchase of a website on our main. Get it, Kyle.

Speaker 3 Guess what? The guys behind the podcast Smartlist started a mobile company. Why? Because they were tired of getting fleeced by Big Wireless, and they think you should be too.

Speaker 3 Big Wireless has been outsmarting everyone into buying expensive unlimited plans. Here's the truth.
Most people use less than 10 gigs each month because they're always on Wi-Fi.

Speaker 2 Smartless Mobile offers right-sized plans based on what you actually use. No contracts, no overage fees, no BS, and great coverage because it runs on the T-Mobile 5G network.

Speaker 2 So you're covered everywhere you'd expect to be. If you're still unsure, try Smartless Mobile for 14 days.
And if you're not happy, you get a full refund. It's that easy.

Speaker 2 Actually, maybe it's just that smart.

Speaker 3 Visit smartlessmobile.com today. Plans start at $10 a month.
And for a limited time, you can get your first month free on their 30 gigabyte plan. So you're more than covered.

Speaker 3 Just use code HANSOME at checkout. Taxes and fees extra, terms and conditions apply.
Don't get outsmarted. Get Smartless Mobile.

Speaker 2 Today's question asker is a stand-up comedian and actor who's appeared in shows like Corporate, The Great North, and Bojack Horseman. Her brand new comedy special, Hopeful Potato.
What a great name.

Speaker 2 Is out now on dropout TV. Aparna Nanturla is asking today's question.

Speaker 3 Nice. She's one of the best.
She really is. So funny.
Hello, handsome.

Speaker 1 It is I, Aparna Nanturla. I am so honored to be speaking to all three of you together.
I am a huge fan of each of you.

Speaker 1 I love you all, and I've never had the privilege of speaking to you as one big, powerful holy trinity. So what a day, what a day.
Here's my question.

Speaker 1 What is the biggest faux pas you've made at a holiday party?

Speaker 1 Now, a holiday party, traditionally a place where someone might indulge in a little too much nog, gently cross a boundary, say something they shouldn't have to the wrong person.

Speaker 1 So, you know, anything along those lines, I invite you to get as messy, as gratuitous as possible. I really want you to go there and I will accompany you there as well.

Speaker 3 I have all the faith in the world that Aparna has a nightmare story.

Speaker 3 Yes. I just, I have,

Speaker 3 she is,

Speaker 3 it's just, of course, this is her question. Of course, she's got a great, but I just have to say, she is.
By far one of my favorite stand-ups. She's very funny.
She is so funny.

Speaker 2 i can't remember the first time i saw her but yeah she is one of the yeah so smart too i mean one powerful holy trinity why have we never been called that before why isn't that the name of our podcast podcast yeah uh holiday party faux pas

Speaker 3 i i am into holiday parties because usually there's going to be a lot of good snacks Oh, yeah. So I feel like the, especially Christmas parties

Speaker 3 are like, I feel like it's more food than like other, like a birthday party. Yes.
It just feels like it's colder outside. People just want to eat.

Speaker 2 And you know what? Like they're more substantial snacks. Like at a regular party, you might get, what's chips and a dip? Christmas party, you're getting pigs and a blanket, beef Wellington.

Speaker 3 I'll still go anywhere for chips and a dip. Yeah, that's true.
I love a chip and a dip. I love you too.

Speaker 3 So I

Speaker 3 part of my faux pas is usually

Speaker 3 going straight for the food table and like having no self-control and just shoving a wad of cheese into my mouth. Atta girl.
And people are like,

Speaker 3 I've just gotten to the party, so they're trying to talk to me and I'm just like full of cheese. You're like, where is the cheese? Yeah, I'm spilling stuff everywhere.

Speaker 3 That's usually my faux pas is just being a beast.

Speaker 2 I had a friend or have a friend called Gabby who's a very tactile person and also highly anxious. And she,

Speaker 2 I once found her at a party, she didn't know anyone. I brought her as my plus one.

Speaker 2 And I found her at the snack table and she was, without thinking, she was talking to someone and she was stroking the brie, like, like touching the brie and I.

Speaker 3 On the top of it, the casing. Does that mean the same thing as trimming the tree?

Speaker 2 She was stroking the brief.

Speaker 3 Trim a bush again?

Speaker 2 And trimming the tree. Yeah, and she was like, I just like how it feels.
And I was like, You can't, you can't do that.

Speaker 3 No, I'll tell you somebody, a person's faux pas that I was, it was not my faux pas, but I had to be a part of it.

Speaker 3 Okay, I went to one Christmas party, and people have been drinking and having a good time.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 here's the thing: I'm always very conscious of when I go to a party, if you go to the bathroom, you got to like make sure the door is locked.

Speaker 3 Like, it's just party 101 because people are trying to get in there and see you doing your business.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and you don't want to be like, you don't want to be like on a toilet with your pants around your legs and someone's busting in.

Speaker 3 So, it was near the end of the night. A lot of people had were gone, and I went to the bathroom

Speaker 3 and I opened the door because it was unlocked,

Speaker 3 and there were two people on the floor of the bathroom

Speaker 3 doing the doing the dirty deed on the floor on the full floor, having full intercourse.

Speaker 3 Who cares about that, May? And we're touching the floor. And this was an adult party.
This was like four years ago. This is not like high school.
Did you know the people? Yes.

Speaker 3 And so then my faux pas probably was, I think you're like, you walk in on that, you shut the door and move on with your you just sat on the toilet.

Speaker 3 No, my faux pas was,

Speaker 3 I slowly shut the door and I went back to the party and told everybody.

Speaker 3 Okay, so when they came out, everyone was like staring at them. And I hope not touching them.
Who were these people? Go ahead and

Speaker 3 tell.

Speaker 3 Can we bleep it out? Just tell us right now. No.

Speaker 3 I'll tell you later.

Speaker 2 Do we know them?

Speaker 3 I don't think you know the girl. Oh, but we know the girl.
You might know the guy. Love it, Thomas.
Love it. It was not Thomas.
I did not know Thomas then. But that's a faux pas for sure.

Speaker 3 I don't think you should be doing that in another person's bathroom. Yeah.
You should not be during a party. And you should.
And if you are going to break these rules, you have to lock the door.

Speaker 3 And were they clearly drunk? They'd been drinking, but I don't know that they were like...

Speaker 3 hammered. I think they just wanted to have sex.
Yeah. And also

Speaker 3 horny.

Speaker 2 And it's never going to be like a couple couple who's been married for 15 years that are doing that. It's gonna be two people who probably

Speaker 3 it was a new situation.

Speaker 2 New situation.

Speaker 3 Are they still together? They are not. Okay.
I don't think they lasted much longer.

Speaker 3 Maybe a couple months past that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Imagine if you asked your parents how you were conceived and they said on the floor.

Speaker 3 Well, I just was like, oh my gosh. She was like basically on top of them.
And I was just like, oh, gross.

Speaker 3 I mean gross um and uh did they see you come in they sure did

Speaker 3 oh my gosh that is everybody involved faux pod I uh they were like I can't believe you told everybody I was like

Speaker 3 I'm the one

Speaker 3 were they legitimately upset with you No,

Speaker 3 they weren't upset, but more

Speaker 3 sheepish.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so funny.
But, you know, it was a bunch of comedians that were there. So

Speaker 3 they were all laughing. Nobody was like, you know, it was like whatever.

Speaker 2 Good to have a little gossip at the party. That's pretty juicy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was a juicy moment. Were they like whatevs? Like

Speaker 3 they just kind of like came out of the bathroom and was like, what's up, everybody? Hey, what's going on?

Speaker 3 Just waiting for you to stop having sex on the toilet.

Speaker 3 No, this was in the floor. No, I know.
I'm just trying to move them off the floor in my mind. It's so gross.

Speaker 3 It's so gross. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 I have had sex in bathrooms, though.

Speaker 3 On the floor? I think so. I have not.
I have not ventured into a... I have not done that.

Speaker 2 Well, definitely in the bathroom on a train.

Speaker 3 Wait, on a train? Yeah. Oh, like on a...

Speaker 3 What did you think? I was thinking of like a, you know, the trains that go around the village of a Christmas tree.

Speaker 3 Which is the season.

Speaker 3 Like a little computer. I was trying to picture that.
Like, ooh, hoo. I mean, on an actual train.
Gotcha.

Speaker 2 Yeah, in the bathroom. Or, yeah.

Speaker 3 You just couldn't. You were just so like, I got we got to right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 3 But yeah, looking back, yeah, pretty cool. Did you go up to that person and say, chugga, chugga, choo, choo? If you know what I mean? If you know what I mean, and then did you know this person?

Speaker 2 Yes, we were, we were dating, but she was closeted, so and a lot of people we knew were on the train going up to Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and uh, nobody knew we were dating, and it was during that like hellish time.

Speaker 2 Uh, and then about

Speaker 3 her name

Speaker 3 off the pod,

Speaker 3 yes,

Speaker 2 um, but yeah, I had a holiday party on uh Sunday. I had a little gathering of just

Speaker 2 I mean, I realized all my friends in LA are like

Speaker 2 Toronto friends from 20 years ago. Like I, I've got Matt, Alana, my friend Allie, Sabrina Jaleese.
They're all people I've known since my teens.

Speaker 3 So we were all. And they all live in LA?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just followed them here, I guess. And

Speaker 2 yeah, but we did the tree and then my faux pas was trying to make everyone play Pictionary. That was

Speaker 3 a game.

Speaker 2 Oh, I went down like a light balloon.

Speaker 3 Oh, they didn't like it.

Speaker 3 It depends on the group and the vibe.

Speaker 2 I think it came with all these rules and instructions. I remember Pictionary being very chill and loose, but it was really rigid.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but who made it rigid? Me. Oh.

Speaker 3 Well, that's a fun time. You're like a rule person with the games.
Like, we got to do this. This is how it goes.
You cannot do that. Give me the cards.

Speaker 2 Maybe a little bit, but I wanted, I made rice krispie squares. That was the good thing I did at the party.
Like, it's so easy.

Speaker 2 Marshmallows and butter, a bit of vanilla, and then just pour in a box of rice krispies. Don't even have to bake it.
Just let it cool.

Speaker 3 Oh, oh, my gosh. It's okay if it jiggles, right? Do you ever call rice krispies treats or do you call them squares? Oh, in Canada, we say squares.
Oh, we call them treats. Yeah, we take it up a notch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're like, it's more than a square. It's a treat.

Speaker 2 We're not getting a, you know, we're not projecting that it's going to be good yet. We just go, it's a square.

Speaker 3 Well, that's like if you call somebody a total square, you should call them a total treat.

Speaker 2 You are a total treat.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Man, that guy's a total treat.

Speaker 2 Do you have any faux pas tag that you've made?

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 I think I make them all the time,

Speaker 3 just trying to make my way through this life. But

Speaker 2 the slow decline.

Speaker 3 Yes, into barreling into hell and

Speaker 3 barreling into hell.

Speaker 3 I don't feel that way. I don't feel that I'm I'm barreling into hell, but it is fun to say.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I would say this isn't a holiday faux pas, so apologies, Aparna.

Speaker 3 And get off my back if this upsets you, Aparna.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 I went to a Sundance party. It was my first time ever at Sundance.
And a friend of mine told me to meet her there

Speaker 3 and that it was people from the TV show ER

Speaker 3 that were having this party.

Speaker 3 And I was standing outside, and I was like knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell, and nobody answered because there was loud music, and nobody was like, oh, somebody's at the door.

Speaker 3 It was just like, I just was like, you know, politely standing out there, ringing, dinging, and knocking. And then somebody came out and then I went in.

Speaker 3 And I was waiting for my my friend who I didn't see anywhere, and I was feeling a little kind of, I didn't know where to go or what to do.

Speaker 3 And so I went and stood by the snacks, and I just really got into those snacks.

Speaker 3 I had been snowboarding all day,

Speaker 3 and I had my sunglasses around my neck still.

Speaker 3 Good look.

Speaker 3 And it was like on that kind of little rope,

Speaker 3 string, whatever. My sunglasses were hanging on and i'm having snacks until the cows come home just eating by myself by the table like me

Speaker 3 yes and this girl comes up and starts talking to me and we're chatting and then after she walked away i looked down and you guys

Speaker 3 my glasses had collected all of the crumbs of my snacks that I was eating

Speaker 3 and they were just it was like a it yeah it was just like a cradle of crumbs hanging around my neck.

Speaker 3 And it was, I was like, oh my God. Like, what did this person think?

Speaker 3 And also, was she on ER? Yeah, you'll never know.

Speaker 3 Was it Juliana Margules? Yeah, I have no idea. How did you say her name?

Speaker 3 What is her name? Juliana? No, just you say it, give it another whirl.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm saying Juliana Margules.

Speaker 3 Margales? I'll answer that.

Speaker 3 Marga Les. I think it's

Speaker 3 Marga Leese, maybe? Yeah, I feel like I'm doing it. I like the gay version of her.

Speaker 3 Why can't I think of another actress on that show?

Speaker 2 I know, I couldn't either. I went, Noah Wiley, George Clooney.

Speaker 3 Well, I know there was an actual Les on that show.

Speaker 3 Her name was George Fox, Georgia Fox. She went by George and we ran in the same circle.

Speaker 3 But I haven't run into her in years, But she was, I think she was the reason I was invited to that party. Oh,

Speaker 3 inviting the Les. But not Juliana.
Julianne. Is it Julianne or Juliana?

Speaker 2 Juliana Margales.

Speaker 3 Juliana Margalise.

Speaker 2 You know who was on that show?

Speaker 2 Maura Tierney, who is a real

Speaker 2 awakening for a lot of people.

Speaker 3 She's straight, I think, but I loved her growing up.

Speaker 2 I used to have dreams about her.

Speaker 3 Just like that. Like how peppermint patty was my big awakening.

Speaker 3 Really? Yes. That's common yeah

Speaker 3 yeah no it was more of like wow i relate to this one yes yeah i know why

Speaker 1 should we hear what uh parna has to say yeah the biggest faux pas i ever made at a holiday party was actually the very first holiday party i ever attended with my parents as their plus one i think i was four or five Not sure we can carbon date back that far.

Speaker 1 There weren't smartphones back then, so maybe I was 16. I do not know.
Anyway, this was a holiday potluck. I had never even been to a potluck before, so I was just blown away by the food options.

Speaker 1 I think it was the first time I ever had lasagna, which to this day remains one of my favorite foods. Praise be to Garfield.

Speaker 1 But there was a separate room that had all the desserts. It was like cakes and pies, every seasonal treat imaginable, cookies, gingerbread, everything, candy canes.

Speaker 1 And as a kid with a major sweet tooth, I could not comprehend it like my little child brain just melted and i just knew i had to sample each and every one which i conveyed to my parents through screaming

Speaker 1 i just had this huge meltdown where i insisted i had to try them all my parents were mortified because these were people they did not know that well and i remember i was rolling on the floor screaming and finally the hosts were just like you know what just give her what she wants give this little boy king what she wants.

Speaker 1 So, they packed some of each dessert into a big box for me.

Speaker 1 They hustled us out of there, and I just remember waking up the next morning because, of course, I had fallen asleep in the car on the ride home.

Speaker 1 I was just ready to sample my bounty, and somehow it had all congealed into one big, unidentifiable ball.

Speaker 3 Oh, no!

Speaker 1 And I just knew I had been tricked somehow, or there had been sabotage among my sabotaged for sure you know

Speaker 3 court

Speaker 1 and I threw another big fit that next morning so really

Speaker 1 someone was big time on the naughty list that year oh my

Speaker 1 god yeah that's my story thanks again seasons greetings happy holidays bye

Speaker 3 seasons greetings happy holidays I cannot for the life of me picture a parna throwing a fit I know, and also, she said she might have been the last fit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and she said she might have been 16, so that's what I keep picturing, and that's making me laugh.

Speaker 3 She's either four or 16, yeah.

Speaker 2 That thing of being a kid and being filled with such like consuming desire for something that you're like, I will die if I don't get this. And you don't know your own limits either.

Speaker 2 Like, I was obsessed with popcorn, and like the first time my parents let me have popcorn, I just ate and ate and ate, and then projectile threw up all over over my bed

Speaker 2 you weren't gonna stop me eating

Speaker 3 nothing's gonna stop us now

Speaker 3 I remember a parna opened for me years ago when I did Carnegie Hall

Speaker 3 and when after the show there was like a whole spread of course backstage because I have my demands so I have this spread And we were going to take it to my hotel room.

Speaker 3 You know, we had friends in town and Stephanie's mother and father were there because, you know, let's do a Carnegie Hall. And

Speaker 3 I remember, this is kind of a

Speaker 3 faux pas, I guess, but we were all carrying all of the food from backstage to my hotel room.

Speaker 3 And so I remember a parna and her boyfriend just carrying these huge trays of fruit and vegetables and all sorts of things. To keep this party going.
But we were walking blocks with it.

Speaker 3 We were walking blocks with half-eaten

Speaker 3 green room food. So,

Speaker 3 yeah, probably not the classiest thing to do, but we did it right apart.

Speaker 2 Do you guys have any like holiday wishes for is that a good question for a holiday up?

Speaker 3 Holiday wishes,

Speaker 2 or even a favorite holiday song,

Speaker 3 holiday wishes.

Speaker 2 That's my favorite holiday song.

Speaker 3 One, One, two, three.

Speaker 3 Hallelujah

Speaker 3 wishes.

Speaker 3 Beautiful.

Speaker 3 My mom likes for me to go to church with her on Christmas Eve. Yeah.
Praise the Lord.

Speaker 3 Praise Jesus.

Speaker 3 God Christ.

Speaker 3 So I get ready. I get my church voice ready for that.
What's that sound like? Yeah, because you know, it's all the Christmas song, like sing no well, sing noel, no well, no well.

Speaker 3 Sing no well, sing no well, no well, no well,

Speaker 3 sing no, no well.

Speaker 3 This is what I wanted. You also clearly have to get your Christmas face on, too, because boy, does it morph into a whole different world and go

Speaker 3 all night

Speaker 3 divine

Speaker 3 when Christ was born.

Speaker 3 That's the one I'm going

Speaker 3 tenor. All night, divine,

Speaker 3 all

Speaker 3 night.

Speaker 3 I would say

Speaker 3 I would say you're going 11er.

Speaker 2 I hope they give you a big solo. I hope like a spotlight lands on you.

Speaker 3 They won't, but I will make sure my voice is heard in that type of of thing. I hope you get discovered at church this year.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I want to put out a gospel album or a Christmas album, whatever comes first. We can do it as a podcast.
Put it on the list, Thomas.

Speaker 2 Our first hit is holiday wishes.

Speaker 3 So, holiday wishes.

Speaker 3 What is your holiday wish, May?

Speaker 2 Peace on earth. Okay.
And mercy mild.

Speaker 2 God and sinners reconciled.

Speaker 3 No, is that how it is?

Speaker 2 Is that the lyrics?

Speaker 3 Did God and the sinners reconcile? I don't know, actually.

Speaker 2 They never needed to reconcile because God loves them no matter what. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I think my wish is.

Speaker 3 Hark the Herald Angel sing. That's the

Speaker 3 okay. Let's hit it.
One, two, three.

Speaker 3 Fortune. Fortune.

Speaker 2 She's coughing and and she's muting every time she's.

Speaker 3 Oh, you were right, May. Peace on earth

Speaker 3 and mercy

Speaker 3 on earth.

Speaker 3 See, but that's why. Wait, does it end with they did?

Speaker 3 No, it

Speaker 3 did. Joyful are ye, nations

Speaker 3 rise.

Speaker 3 La la la la la la la la la.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 wrong song, but doesn't matter. You have the spirit.

Speaker 3 My holiday wish is that everyone sings like that this holiday.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I hope people do some singing. And I'm pumped for the year of the horse.
We've been in the year of the snake, which is all

Speaker 3 girl.

Speaker 2 That was the gayest horse I've ever.

Speaker 3 Please sing again.

Speaker 3 What does the gay horse eat? Hey. Hey.

Speaker 3 it really smells

Speaker 3 your mouth. You're gonna make me coughing him.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you guys it smells like updog in this room?

Speaker 3 What does that mean?

Speaker 2 It smells like updog.

Speaker 3 What does that mean?

Speaker 2 It smells like updog.

Speaker 3 What does that mean?

Speaker 2 It just smells like

Speaker 3 you're supposed to say, What is up dog?

Speaker 2 And then I say, not much.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. Oh wait,

Speaker 3 I was like, I was like, maybe she'll eventually say what's up, dog. There it is.
Thanks, Fortune. No.
Oh, my God. I never, I would have just continued to say, what does that mean?

Speaker 3 And I was like, Tig's not coming off of this one phrase. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Well, I learned that from one of the Fortune's gaggle-a girls on set yesterday. They said it smells like up dog.
I fell for it. Hook line and sinker.
I went, what's up, dog? And they said, not much.

Speaker 3 Will does that to me. I fall for it every time I'll be singing singing something.
He goes, who sings that? And I'll earnestly tell him. And he goes, why don't you let them sing?

Speaker 2 Or let's keep it that way.

Speaker 2 I heard him do that to you.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And I fall for it every time.

Speaker 3 Every time.

Speaker 3 Well, what a treat you guys are. My holiday wish is for everyone to keep it handsome.

Speaker 3 That would be great, right? Because sometimes people don't keep things handsome.

Speaker 3 And we have got to keep it handsome.

Speaker 2 I also want to say that I know the holidays are tough for some people, and it's a weird time of year, and there's so much pressure to be happy and with family.

Speaker 2 And I just want to say, no matter what you're doing, just like take care of yourself.

Speaker 2 I'll be by myself with buddies on Christmas. I'm going to enjoy it.
And we just are sending you a lot of love.

Speaker 3 We sure are. Yeah.
And I'm going to send you

Speaker 3 to some of my shows coming up, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, great.

Speaker 3 What's your bathrobe?

Speaker 3 you got me well I have several dates so I'm just gonna hit a few here February 20th Oklahoma City uh-huh and then February 21st we got Midland Texas what else do you have oh well I have Cincinnati March 13th I have got

Speaker 3 hold it hold hold on there I just I I don't know I I can't read very well.

Speaker 3 But go to tignotaro.com for all my tour information. I'm also always doing shows, mostly every month at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter.

Speaker 3 And please, if you haven't watched the documentary, Come See Me in a Good Light, check it out.

Speaker 2 I've got this big tour coming up and I'm adding extra dates and stuff. I just added one in Vegas.
And also, I think I need people to buy more tickets in Austin.

Speaker 2 That one's a little slow, but I'm excited to see everybody. You can go to Maymartin.net.
If you need last-minute presents for people,

Speaker 2 get some tickets to our shows or some handsome pod merch. Why not?

Speaker 3 Why not? Yeah, I don't say why not. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm going to be in Norfolk, Virginia on the 27th of December, and then Salt Lake City, Vancouver, and then New Year's Eve in Seattle, Washington, followed by after the new year, New Orleans, Mobile, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, a bunch of places.

Speaker 3 So it's on the website. We also want to remind people that we did a live show

Speaker 3 yesterday. Oh, right.
Can't forget that. That link is available for a week.
So

Speaker 3 super fun holly bob show. Holly bobs.
Holly bobs. And also,

Speaker 3 you can give that as a gift. Get somebody a ticket to that, right? Yeah.
Yeah. So you want to get it, get that link.
It's really fun. That was a fun time,

Speaker 3 and until next time,

Speaker 3 I don't know,

Speaker 3 Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette.

Speaker 3 Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

Speaker 3 What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

Speaker 2 That was a hit gum podcast.

Speaker 2 You know what's smart? Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart?

Speaker 2 Not checking if there's a new season of your favorite TV show from three years ago. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing good to watch, and then you remember, oh, yeah, I used to love that show.

Speaker 3 Yeah, checking first is smart, so check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Speaker 3 Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All-state North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Quick, choose a meal deal with McValue.

Speaker 3 The $5 McChicken Meal Deal, the $6 McDouble Meal Deal, or the new $7 daily double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink, and four-piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush.

Speaker 3 I'm just excited for McDonald's. For a limited time, only personal participation may vary.
Not Delta McDelivery.