Childhood

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Speaker 20 Let's start from the beginning. Okay.

Speaker 4 I was a young girl. I was 11 years old.
And my parents had just divorced. And my dad was now living with his girlfriend in Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 4 And this was my first summer vacation where I stayed at a different home than my childhood home.

Speaker 4 And the moment I walked in that house, I felt like I wasn't alone, that there was energy there, that there were spirits there, that I was being watched in every room, in every room.

Speaker 4 He had purchased bunk beds for my sister and I and my sister picked the bottom bunk and I picked the the top bunk

Speaker 4 and It was my first night in this new house.

Speaker 4 I fall asleep a little bit, but then I'm awakened by being touched.

Speaker 4 And then my hair is touched.

Speaker 4 It's not a heavy touch, it's a light touch.

Speaker 4 So I leap and go down the little stairs of the bunk bed, and I rush over and I'm gonna go run into my dad's room, but I froze.

Speaker 4 I felt that

Speaker 4 whatever was touching me was over there too.

Speaker 4 I wasn't going to be safe in my dad's room and I didn't feel safe with my dad.

Speaker 4 And so I laid in the hallway floor with a light on, curled up in a ball, hoping that the night would just go away fast.

Speaker 4 And in the morning, My dad stepped over me and he said, why did you fall asleep in the hallway?

Speaker 4 And I said, I was being touched, dad.

Speaker 4 Something was touching me.

Speaker 4 And he said, oh, don't pay any attention to them. They bother me all the time at night.

Speaker 4 Don't pay them any mind.

Speaker 20 Melissa, who is your dad and what is he known as?

Speaker 4 My father is Keith Hunter Jesperson.

Speaker 4 He's known as the happy face serial killer.

Speaker 4 My

Speaker 4 girl,

Speaker 4 my girl,

Speaker 4 don't lie

Speaker 4 to me.

Speaker 4 Tell me where

Speaker 4 did you sleep

Speaker 4 last night

Speaker 4 in the pines,

Speaker 4 in the pines,

Speaker 4 where the sun don't ever shine,

Speaker 4 I will shiver

Speaker 4 the whole night through.

Speaker 20 My name is Lauren Bright-Pacheco. I'm a television producer, and I've worked with Melissa Jesperson Moore for about four years.
We work on crime stories together, and we travel a lot.

Speaker 20 And during our downtime, we've had the chance to really get to know one another. And she shared a lot with me about her past especially her childhood.

Speaker 4 My childhood home was

Speaker 4 amazing. My parents had three children together.
I'm the oldest. A year later, my brother was born and then two years after my brother, my sister Carrie was born.

Speaker 4 And My mom was a stay-at-home mom and my father was a long-haul truck driver. I felt loved, I felt provided for, I felt adored.

Speaker 4 I actually felt like I was a superstar.

Speaker 4 Melissa, how big are you?

Speaker 4 This big?

Speaker 4 Yes, real big.

Speaker 4 Can you dance? Can you dance, Melissa?

Speaker 4 You dance.

Speaker 4 Yes, you're a good dancer.

Speaker 4 We lived in the country and when I would hear the semi-truck pull up and you could hear the wheels on the gravel and you just knew you knew you could easily recognize that sound.

Speaker 4 The window panes would actually shake because of the size and the rumble of his engine. So we would just bolt.

Speaker 4 My brother, my sister and I would actually race to get to my dad to see who could get into his pockets first because in his pockets were tons of change and tokens and things from his trips.

Speaker 4 And so it was like a competition:

Speaker 4 who could get dad's change?

Speaker 4 And that was our first encounter with him. And you'd pick us up and he would throw us in the air and play with us and be excited to see us.

Speaker 4 He would be just as excited to see us as we were excited to see him.

Speaker 20 Everybody thinks

Speaker 20 their dad is the center of the universe, but your dad, how did you feel being placed up on his shoulders?

Speaker 4 I love the view that I could see so much more.

Speaker 4 And I felt that I was absolutely safe and that anything was possible and that I could do whatever I wanted to do and that was safe in the arms with my dad.

Speaker 4 He was six foot six and close to 300 pounds. His size was something the first thing you notice, how you feel so small in comparison.

Speaker 20 Keith was this huge, giant man, even to adults. So for a child, he must have seemed even that much more enormous.

Speaker 20 And when Melissa talks about him, she has this reverence, this almost mythological lens that she views him through.

Speaker 4 I felt like my dad was a superhero because he was so large and he could actually eclipse the sun with his head.

Speaker 4 Like he just, his body, like the sun would just like beam behind him and he could just eclipse the sun.

Speaker 21 Phil Stanford, the Oregonian, May 22nd, 1994.

Speaker 21 The letter, unsigned and written on pale blue paper, has a happy face at the top of the first page.

Speaker 21 Two tiny circles for eyes, an upturned sliver of a moon for a mouth.

Speaker 21 Have a nice day.

Speaker 21 All five of five, it says next to the cartoon face.

Speaker 21 However, the letter is six pages long, so what does that mean?

Speaker 21 Five what?

Speaker 21 Five murders, that's what.

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Speaker 16 I'm T.

Speaker 22 Higgins, pro wide receiver, and Abercromby is an official fashion partner of the NFL.

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Speaker 5 Ah, greetings for my bath, festive friends.

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Speaker 7 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 10 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 12 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

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Points can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

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Speaker 23 Some moments in life stay with you forever.

Speaker 23 In a special segment of On Purpose brought to you by eBay, I share a story about a book that changed my life early in my journey and how I was able to find the same exact edition on eBay.

Speaker 23 It was more than just a purchase, it was a reconnection with a memory that shaped my purpose. There are certain books that don't just give you information, they shift the way you see the world.

Speaker 23 I remember reading one when I was younger that completely changed me. Years later, I found myself thinking about that book again.
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Speaker 20 Melissa agreed to go on the road with me and our producer Noel and revisit the places from her past that have incredible significance, both good and bad, to her today.

Speaker 20 And one of those places was Spokane, Washington, where she moved with her mother and siblings after her parents' divorce.

Speaker 4 I haven't been to Spokane for a long time, but whenever I come back here, I think about the first time I came here back in 1990. My dad was home for the weekend, and we had a great weekend.

Speaker 4 We were really close, and it was like a normal weekend. And then it was time for my mom to drop off my dad at the truck station.

Speaker 4 And on the way to the truck station, to his his offices,

Speaker 4 there was just this tension in the air, and there was something obviously going on between my parents, my mom, and my dad.

Speaker 4 When we arrived at my dad's work,

Speaker 4 he got out of the car and acted like he was never going to see us again. He hugged us super tight, said how much he loves us, and was just gripping us like it was

Speaker 4 his last time ever holding us.

Speaker 4 When I saw him walk away and go to his job, my brother and sister and I got back in the car and my mom was silent until we were about a block away from the house.

Speaker 4 She said, when we go into the house, I need you to pick one thing your favorite thing

Speaker 4 we drove there because we were going to meet her mom Rose who we met at work I'm excited to see her yeah I'm glad that you're gonna meet her she's a caseworker at First Salvation Army where she helps families who are on the streets transition to having a life off the streets.

Speaker 4 And so these are children that have lived in in cars. These are children that have nothing very similar to what I had and what she had.

Speaker 4 I wonder if she has a picture of me in her office.

Speaker 20 I think she might be coming out.

Speaker 4 Hi, Will.

Speaker 20 They hadn't seen each other in a few years, but you could definitely hear the warmth and the pride and the love in Melissa's voice. when she described her to us.

Speaker 4 You know what? You'll find that about my mom is she's a very nurturing, soft person that you could tell anything to. She's so non-judgmental.

Speaker 4 Oh my gosh, you're getting smaller.

Speaker 4 My office is overnight.

Speaker 20 Meeting Melissa's mom in person, I was really taken aback by the fact that they don't look alike. Melissa's always told me that she looks just like her father, and I never saw it until I met her mom.

Speaker 4 Oh, look at there's a picture of me.

Speaker 20 She absolutely looks like her father.

Speaker 4 When I was flying down here, I was thinking about

Speaker 4 what your experience must have been like because when we came here, it was after you and dad separated,

Speaker 4 I remember just, you know, leaving and coming here without planning. Right.
That's what it felt like. It wasn't planned.
You're correct. It wasn't.
What happened?

Speaker 4 Well, it was our 13th wedding anniversary, and I was expecting a bouquet of flowers and he said, you know, I think we should just get a divorce. He said, would you mind just leaving?

Speaker 4 And were you happy at any point with him? I think at the very beginning we had a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 And we would we'd take a month off and we'd travel down I-5 all the way down California along the beaches or, you know. I don't know about.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 We'd take a month off, go to Lake Powell,

Speaker 4 we'd go to Canada. Oh, he had a Golden Wing motorcycle and we went all through Canada traveling through Lethbridge and Alberta.
He was a good provider. He really was.

Speaker 4 And you probably felt really financially safe.

Speaker 4 I felt safe.

Speaker 4 And then I had you and then things changed.

Speaker 21 I would like to tell my story, the writer of the letter begins.

Speaker 21 The exclamation point is all his.

Speaker 21 So is the labored printing and the odd mixture of capital and lowercase letters.

Speaker 21 On or about January 20th, 1990, I picked up Sonia Bennett and I took her home.

Speaker 21 I raped her and beat her real bad.

Speaker 21 Then I ended her life by pushing my fist into her throat.

Speaker 4 When my dad would show up into town, he didn't get a hotel. He would stay at our home, my mom's home.

Speaker 4 And even when she was with her new boyfriend, who became her husband, my dad would stay in the house with him in the house as well. The reward of him coming was he's filling the pantry.

Speaker 4 He's helping her.

Speaker 4 She was a single mom. She was a sole provider for months on end.
And here he comes into town. She's going to take any reprieve she can get, you know.

Speaker 4 this area right here is where um

Speaker 4 when my dad would come to visit we'd drive past this road right here but this used to be all open fields like this and

Speaker 4 at the end here was is a safe way where we would go and get groceries so my when my dad would come into town he would actually

Speaker 4 take us three kids to this grocery store and just let us pick anything we wanted and one thing that he constantly picked was just like he would get these huge five-gallon tubs of ice cream, and then he would get these, uh, he would get like a couple packages of bacon.

Speaker 4 He would make not like one package of bacon at a time, he would make like five packages of bacon at a time.

Speaker 4 So when he came, he was the source of all.

Speaker 4 I had a girl that I used to hang out with Tamara and she lived right here in this house. The white one? Uh-huh.
And what happened was she lost her jacket and

Speaker 4 she accused me of stealing her jacket. And you know, in the Jesperson households, we don't steal.
Like, that is like something, is a code of honor. You don't steal.

Speaker 4 And so I told my dad that her parents think I'm a thief and that I stole her coat. So he walked over there and confronted her parents.
And I was so nervous because he was so aggressive.

Speaker 4 I was just terrified of what he was going to do to

Speaker 4 her parents. And he explained how I didn't steal that jacket.
And he pretty much,

Speaker 4 I don't know, remember exactly what he said, but he really terrified her parents so much so that she never came back to my house.

Speaker 21 But there's something about the letter that holds you, that makes you keep reading. Maybe it's the urgency of the prose itself.

Speaker 21 Maybe, although you might not want to admit it, it's the lurid details spelling off the pages like cold sewage.

Speaker 21 Maybe the writer, whoever he is, is making it all up. But if so, you have to wonder what kind of person would even be able to write something like this.

Speaker 21 This turned me on.

Speaker 21 I got high.

Speaker 21 Then the panic set in. Where to put the body?

Speaker 21 First, he says, he drove to the Sandy River and threw Tanya Bennett's purse and walkman into the water.

Speaker 21 Then he drove back home and dragged the body out to his car.

Speaker 21 I want the world to know that it was my crime, so I tied a one-half inch soft white rope around her neck.

Speaker 21 I drove her to a switchback on the scenic road about one and one-half miles east of Lateral Falls.

Speaker 21 I dragged her downhill.

Speaker 21 Her pants were around her knees because I had cut her buttons off.

Speaker 4 You know, Happy Face is on one side of the coin.

Speaker 4 He's a loving family man and he's a good friend and

Speaker 4 he's a good provider. He's everything that,

Speaker 4 you know, as a child you want for a dad.

Speaker 4 And then on the other side of the coin,

Speaker 4 he is everything that scares you.

Speaker 4 Everything that

Speaker 4 could hurt you. He goes from protector to predator and

Speaker 4 wrapping my mind around it is impossible.

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Speaker 16 I'm T.

Speaker 22 Higgins, pro wide receiver, and Abercrombie is an official fashion partner at the NFL. The holidays are crazy for me.
I don't have time to pick outfits for every event.

Speaker 22 That's why Abercrombie hasn't covered this season. Whether I'm with my family or the homies, Abercrombie Tees and Jeans are my go-tos.

Speaker 22 Abercrombie has a holiday season lineup. Shop new arrivals in the app, online, and in store.

Speaker 5 Ah, greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 8 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 7 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 10 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 12 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 13 Save the offer in the the app. N1231, see paypal.com/slash promo terms, points give your renee for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 14 PayPal Inc. and MLS 910457.

Speaker 23 Some moments in your life stay with you forever.

Speaker 23 In a special segment of On Purpose, I share a story about a book that changed my life early in my journey and how I was able to find the exact same edition on eBay years later.

Speaker 23 There are certain books that don't just give you information, they shift the way you see the world. I remember reading one when I was younger that completely changed me.

Speaker 23 Years later, I found myself thinking about that book again. I wanted the same edition back.
Not a reprint, not a different cover, that exact one.

Speaker 23 So I started searching, and that's when I found it on eBay. That's what I love about eBay.
It's not just a marketplace, it's a place where stories live.

Speaker 23 Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story. eBay, things people love.

Speaker 23 Listen to on purpose on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 4 I started to notice a shift in the household probably about when I was in kindergarten, first grade. Things started to change in the household.
My mom seemed more withdrawn

Speaker 4 and I imagine her being isolated in a house with three young children must have been difficult for her and my father being gone.

Speaker 4 But when he would come home, there seemed to be a distance between my mom and my dad physically as well. I didn't witness them hugging or being affectionate with one another.

Speaker 4 I actually don't even recall kissing. I can't even remember if they even kissed each other when they greeted each other.

Speaker 4 Now looking back, I see the dynamic between my parents and recalling how critical and degrading he was to my mother. He would put her down for driving.
He embarrassed her.

Speaker 4 He told her all the time about what a horrible housekeeper she was. He complained about her food.
He complained about her weight. Everything my mother did was wrong.

Speaker 4 I was never thin enough, or I was too fat, you know, or if I ate dinner, oh, God forbid if I ate dinner.

Speaker 4 As a kid, when I was alone with my father, he would bring up that he constantly felt sexually rejected, and he would say that my mom would tell him to go put it in a keyhole.

Speaker 20 So what was your father thinking talking about his sex life with his child?

Speaker 4 My father's sex life was always a part of the conversation. I heard it with his friends.
I heard it in the flirtation and the sexual harassment of waitresses.

Speaker 4 I heard it having to hear him tell me these these details about their sex life. I never asked my father.
It was just part of the conversation constantly.

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 knew that my father was a very sexual man from a young age. I recall finding hustlers and Playboys all around, like, all around the house.

Speaker 4 And when I would go to the truck stops, I would see his offices were lit, like just covered in nude calendars. So, nude women and pornography was always a part of my childhood.

Speaker 4 My girl,

Speaker 4 my

Speaker 4 girl,

Speaker 4 don't lie

Speaker 4 to me.

Speaker 21 When Bennett's body was found, actually about a mile west of Lateral Falls and a mile and a half east of the Vista house, there was a rope around her neck.

Speaker 4 Tell me, where

Speaker 4 did you sleep last

Speaker 4 night?

Speaker 21 In addition, as the police reports indicate, the buttonfly of Bennett's jeans had been cut away.

Speaker 21 In the pines,

Speaker 21 in the pines,

Speaker 21 where the sun

Speaker 21 don't ever shine.

Speaker 21 The letter continues.

Speaker 21 She was my first,

Speaker 21 and I thought I would not do it again.

Speaker 21 But I was wrong.

Speaker 20 It was clear that Keith had no filter for what was appropriate to say or do in front of his kids.

Speaker 20 And many of his other impulses were even darker,

Speaker 20 and he acted upon them.

Speaker 4 I remember there was a weekend that my dad was back home

Speaker 4 from one of his long hauls, and there was a barrel,

Speaker 4 a rusty barrel that he was burning shrubbery and old debris from the yard, and he was cleaning the yard.

Speaker 4 And we had this barn, and behind the barn, I saw my brother, and he had a black cat and I remember how dark the cat's fur was because it was so shiny it looked silvery like almost like glass from the sun hitting the cat's back hitting the fur and so I saw my brother just petting this black cat and how slick and and pretty the cat looked and I wanted to touch this cat too.

Speaker 4 I wanted to pet.

Speaker 4 And so I went up to my brother and I sat next to him behind the barn and I started petting the cat with him.

Speaker 4 And quickly I noticed that my dad had witnessed me petting the cat with my brother. And at this point, the cat is still in my brother's lap.
And then my dad approaches us.

Speaker 4 He walks up to us and he says, What do you have there?

Speaker 4 I remember my dad sitting down to the other side of Jason and taking the cat in

Speaker 4 his lap and he started petting the cat. And

Speaker 4 both my brother and I were tense. We could feel like

Speaker 4 something's wrong because we knew my dad hated cats, absolutely hated them. So for my dad to be sitting next to my brother petting this cat was

Speaker 4 odd that he would be lovingly petting a cat. And quickly he was,

Speaker 4 I remember his big hand just like engulfing the whole cat and then all of a sudden with one hand he pinned the head down and grabbed it with the other hand and he just started squeezing the cat's neck and then the cat started to like

Speaker 4 screech and to and to scream and started clawing for its life

Speaker 4 on my dad's forearms and just was clawing and I was thinking and my brother and I were screaming and we're like like, stop it, dad, stop it, dad. Like, why are you doing this, dad?

Speaker 4 Why are you doing this? And just screaming at him to try to like, stop it.

Speaker 4 Like, it just, it made me so nauseous. Like, it just made me.

Speaker 20 How old would you and Jason have been?

Speaker 4 We were young. My brother and I were young.
We were

Speaker 4 six, seven years old. I don't recall telling my mom.
I don't recall

Speaker 4 telling anybody. And the reason why is just like when it came to my father, there was just this thing that people said in the family, they would say, Oh, that's just Keith.
That's just how Keith is.

Speaker 4 And it seemed to be acceptable.

Speaker 24 Keith Jesperson takes steps toward a court appearance he's tried to avoid for years,

Speaker 24 as well as an order entering a plea of no contest to the aggravated murder count.

Speaker 24 After prosecutors read off the charges, and with the victim's family looking on, Jesperson gave grisly details of how in 1990 he killed 23-year-old Tanya Bennett in his apartment.

Speaker 25 And forced my fist into her throat

Speaker 25 and

Speaker 25 later grabbed the rope and tied around her neck securely,

Speaker 25 and she was dead.

Speaker 4 You know, I slept in the hallway that one night. The second night I slept on the couch and kept the TV on so I'd have light.

Speaker 4 And as I laid on the couch, I looked at the ceiling and I saw markings on the ceiling of some kind of splatter.

Speaker 4 And then as I was laying there, the cabinet doors in the kitchen were opening and closing. And I remember touching my eyes and rubbing my eyes, thinking I must be seeing things.

Speaker 4 But I would hear it too. They would open and they would close.

Speaker 24 Jesperson says he left the body in the Columbia Gorge, then cleaned up his house.

Speaker 25 Washed the carpet. I washed the blood off the walls, what I could, and eventually painted the walls of the house I was in

Speaker 17 and tried to forget about it.

Speaker 4 I would later discover that in that very room where I was laying down was where he murdered Tanya Bennett

Speaker 4 in the most gruesome and brutal way possible.

Speaker 4 And that now I look back and think,

Speaker 4 was that blood that I saw?

Speaker 4 And I believe it was.

Speaker 4 My

Speaker 4 girl,

Speaker 4 my girl,

Speaker 4 don't lie

Speaker 4 to me.

Speaker 4 Tell me where

Speaker 4 did you sleep

Speaker 4 last night?

Speaker 26 Happy Face is a production of How Stuff Works. Executive producers are Melissa Moore, Lauren Bright-Pacheco, Mangesha Ticketer, and Will Pearson.
Supervising producer is Noel Brown.

Speaker 26 Music by Claire Campbell, Paige Campbell, and Hope for a Golden Summer. Story editor is Matt Riddle.
Audio editing by Chandler Mays and Noel Brown. Assistant editor is Taylor Chacoyne.

Speaker 26 Special thanks to Phil Stanford, the publishers of the Oregonian newspaper and KATU News in Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 5 Greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 6 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money.

Speaker 9 Getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 7 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 10 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 12 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 13 Save the offer in the app. N1231, see paypal.com/slash promo terms, points give your redeeming for cash and more paying for subject to terms of approval.

Speaker 14 PayPal Inc. and MLS 910457.

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Speaker 27 There are two types of fishing: the kind I'm doing out here that brings me calm, and the kind of fishing hackers do online.

Speaker 27 They're always casting their lines, impersonating users, phony logins, anything to get someone to bite.

Speaker 27 But here's the thing: with Cisco Duo, fishing season is over.

Speaker 27 Because Duo goes beyond multi-factor authentication, providing full phishing resistance, session theft protection, and AI-powered monitoring, all at half the cost of most solutions.

Speaker 27 So while hackers keep casting, I just enjoy the calm. No ripples, no splashes, just a hook that never gets a bite.

Speaker 27 Learn more at duo.com. Cisco Duo.
Fishing season is over.

Speaker 27 You know what a girl's best friend is, not diamonds, her lawyers.

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Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.