NFL Power Rankings: Preseason Edition

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If your life was on the line, Connor, literally,

your chances of survival and

being at the weddings of all your children

and becoming a grandfather and watching your growing old with your wife, all that's on the line.

Five and a half, you gotta have it right,

Giants.

E the call

on a Friday morning.

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.

Dan Hans is here with Mark Sessler.

Sese, you know, coming off a

technic, like a technological and logistical 9-11 on Thursday.

You know, what's the one thing you remember about that Thursday?

Oh, the skies were impossibly blue.

That's how I'll remember yesterday.

And we had to bump the show back.

But now we're here on a Friday morning, and we apologize for the show getting to your ears and eyes late, but we're going to make it count.

I think it's a testament to the flexible nature of not only you and myself, but also Justin and Connor and all the rest that we could flip it around and do it this morning.

We woke up very early, Dan, you and I here on the website.

Would you like like to flip it around and do it early.

All right.

I'll ponder that comment for a minute.

Yeah.

Thank you, Dan.

Yeah, you got it.

Let's bring in Connor Orr.

Sure.

Now, for Connor, he's on the East Coast three hours later.

So, you know, we're not going to give him a lot of pop for joining us in the morning, but we did hang him out to dry yesterday with various stops and starts.

So apologies for that.

Very late.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

this is a good time.

Just finished cup two of coffee.

Took all three kids to Costco solo this morning and

set the record, I think, for people going, got your hands full and managed not to murder anyone.

So

that is, I know exactly that feeling because that's happened to me many times,

especially when I take trips to the airport and go on flights with just my two sons.

And

all of a sudden, the flight attendant will give me like an extra you know jack dandelion daniels whiskey or whatever or like

you know they give me a little wry smile like hang in there and it's like am i doing that bad is it that obvious from from just that viewpoint that i'm struggling because i am you're spot on and i'll take your whiskey but um i didn't realize i was failing See, I appreciate the gifting.

And I appreciate the sentiment because when I got to the end, when I got to the checkout, there was a guy in front of me and he just looked over.

And so just to complete the image, I have two kids hanging off the sides of the shopping cart, just like spinning around in circles and fighting with each other.

And then I have a baby strapped to my chest.

And we've managed to load the conveyor belt.

And then the guy who's checking out in front of me just looks back and goes, dude, that's f ⁇ ing awesome.

And he's like, I'm just amazed at what I'm saying.

We're not splitting the atom here.

And I was like, thanks.

I just wanted the little pound.

That's it.

But got your hands full is one of those things that's like, I'm not complimenting you.

I'm not helping you.

I'm just acknowledging the situation.

And it's like, man, you got to step your game up a little bit.

I think it's an observation.

When I hear, especially on a plane, and, you know, your children, Dan, are not, they're not babies, which is helpful, but like, got your hands full is sort of an observation of

you might be annoying me if the children are too rowdy or too loud, like the, from the, from the civilian saying that.

Like, it's a very hot or cold neutral comment.

It's true, Mark.

Well, what?

Now, did I not compliment?

I also think

you did a great job, Connor.

At the same time,

shopping, Mark.

You did a nice job.

You really buttoned up the conversation.

That was nice.

Today's a power rankings episode.

Justin insisted upon it.

Justin is not about, you know, what's the best idea for a show.

Justin's about what's the one that's going to get the most money in my pocket type of guy.

That's Graver.

No, we need that.

Yeah.

But you need that.

It's good to have that guy, that guy that's like cold-blooded, you know, business sensibilities,

metrics over art.

And so we're going to do a power rankings episode today.

Somebody's got to do it.

Somebody's got to keep the lights on in this thing.

You know what I mean?

Thank God.

You got your hands full, man.

You're doing so good.

Here's some whiskey.

Now shut your mouth.

Here's some whiskey.

Make them stop kicking the seat of the man in front of them.

Since it's a power rankings episode, our preseason preseason power rankings of the NFL, and we're going to get into other stuff as well, like the news and our long-promised Netflix quarterbacks review.

Let's start with a warm-up power rankings.

It's early in the morning here.

So

let's power rank the

NFL

music across the various platforms that the NFL is engaged with.

So you just kind of, Justin, let's start with the big three.

Let's start with the Tiffany Network, the home of Matlock is a lady now, CBS.

Wow,

it was a little harder than I realized.

It is good.

Is that like

is Tom Morello playing on this?

I think it's Max Weinberg.

What was that

Trans-Siberian Orchestra?

It's got a little bit of that.

It's a little more...

It's a little edgier and darker than it appears on.

It's got a little grit to it.

And the beginning,

I can tell you the Les Moonves or whoever the it was at the time, when he heard the guitar that comes in before it cried, it's like

that little feedback.

He was like, Hey, that's a little too much.

That's a little too much.

And then the

guy that was the hot shot executive of the time at CBS, he was like 38 and had once been in a band, was like, No, Michael Moonvez.

Yeah, Mike Moonvez was like, No, dad, that's what we need to separate ourselves.

All right, so that's that's not bad.

All right, now let's check out, uh, let's go with Fox.

This song is so fing iconic.

They fing did it, song is fake.

Yeah, this is Wonder Wall.

I mean, this is...

This is Dream On.

This is Satisfaction.

You know,

this is that war horse that we can get.

This is born to run.

You know, this is free fall.

And this...

You get so used to it, and we've been hearing it for 30 years that you forget

that it goes so hard still to this day.

If you found out that back in like medieval times when like castles as my wall falls down um uh as castles were like fighting castles like um and like you find out that they actually had electric um hard hard-going electric instrument entrance back then like a battle troop with like trumpeters coming over hill to wipe out your kingdom that's what this song sounds like to me we're coming to get you

total classic

total classic everything okay mark I don't know because I'm assessing the room and I don't know what possibly that could have been.

It was a thunderous crash and I have a boundary here so I can't even see what it was.

Probably expensive,

it's okay.

You know what strikes me as a guy that has like a lot of expensive stuff in the apartment.

Well, this one is there's a lot of, yeah, I don't want to dig into it, but it's it sounded heavy and expensive.

It wasn't a all right, let's check out the um NBC theme, which, of course, is Sunday night football and uh various prime time and playoff slots,

including last night.

Oh yeah.

Little bland.

Yeah, what do you think on this one, Connor?

Thumbs down.

Yeah.

What it has going for it

is that it is the

best football games that our league have to offer, certainly during the regular season, are accompanied by this song.

So there's something reflexive about it.

But you could also combine that big feeling with an actual great song, and I don't think they have it.

And I don't think they have it with Carrie Underwood and everyone else either.

There seems some resistance to revisit what's going on there and maybe make some changes.

That would be pretty deep-cutting.

It's a deep third for me.

The only thing I'll say, I think the CBS one is the most surprising when we listen to it now for me.

But also it's yeah, let's stick with the topic at hand, NBC right now.

Yeah, I have a lot of

I think sometimes Sunday night football is coming at the end of a long day for us.

And like I don't need a lot of bells and whistles.

This song doesn't do it for me.

Let's dig into the game and let's get going here.

We are uniquely beaten down by the day.

And so, when everybody else is waiting all day for Sunday night, we're like, I have a damn headache and I need an Eccedron.

And so, that feels a little expressive for the hour.

It's like the old Francesa rant.

Who's waiting all day for Sunday night?

We're watching football all day.

We got all these great games.

We got all these different things.

We're watching all these games.

We're watching the early winter.

We're watching the late winter.

We're watching the Jets, the Giants, the big league, all the games around the league.

Nobody's waiting for Sunday night.

Back after this.

I always envisioned this guy who, like, like a dad who just was in his bed all day and then all of a sudden at like 7.55 on Sunday just kicks the door open and is like, and just comes alive in the household.

And the kids were like, oh, yeah, dad was just waiting all day for Sunday night.

Yeah.

And one of the adjoining comment.

If you, we rarely have Sunday night off, but if you ever have been out on the occasional rare time that you have, like by Sunday night football, when people people have been out on the west coast, people are at taverns and sports pubs at 9.30 a.m.

and they're there all day long.

And by Sunday night, those rooms are a sweaty, smelly, drunken hive of people that are barely hanging on.

So I don't see people waiting for that part of the day.

We got it.

I will say, I don't disagree with what you guys are saying, but it was really nice to hear that song last night as football was on my television.

So that was cool.

Good point.

I was going to say, have you ever heard that song before?

Because I don't think the Titans have ever done Sunday football.

All right.

What else?

Do we have another one?

Netflix, as I understand it.

I have three more that I'd love to play.

All right, let's cycle through them and then we're going to make the rankings.

Then we got to move.

We got a lot to get to.

Yeah, all right.

Here's TNF on Prime.

My favorite.

Your favorite?

This song makes me think of Tony Gonzalez not saying anything remotely interesting.

Yeah, this one makes me think of a large panel of way too many ex-football players on my TV screen.

Right before a game that's about to suck.

I'd rank it as unnecessary.

It's like, this song makes me think, like, Has Richard Sherman had too many off-the-field issues to have this job?

I think you guys are completely and totally wrong about this.

Really?

Yeah.

While

the other ones are guitar-heavy, this is a little bit R ⁇ B and hip-hop on the back end.

And so

much like Rolling Stone had to rewrite their entire top 500 songs list to put,

you know, I don't know.

Chuck D and Flava Flava in the top 10, I think we have to reconsider the usage of TNF theme song as possibly a top two or three in terms of just its usage.

So I don't know.

Just throwing it out.

All right.

Well, it's good to have those viewpoints.

All right.

What else do we have?

All right.

Here's a true icon: Monday Night Football.

Please.

Yeah.

Please.

Classic.

Again, I can't imagine a world without this.

I feel like this is elemental.

And I love the way ESPN Great Production Flourish, where they sync up the song to the kickoff.

I don't know if you guys have noticed that, but they actually sync it up with the ball coming off the tee as the song kind of goes into this ending coda.

Just tremendous.

It's tied to so many deep-rooted football memories for everyone

anywhere.

And it has that little moment early on where it sounds like a 70s crime drama beat.

Like, it goes different places.

And it's just, to me, it's embedded in my heart and mind.

Much like, though, the TNF bothers you when it leads to a panel of far too many analysts, this song then immediately butts up against like, oh, you're listening live to two guys who are making $90 million and are going to act like we have someone to be for the next three hours.

Time for the Buck Aikman slander portion of the program from Connor Orr.

I'm just saying.

Adorade flowing.

You know what it is?

It's like this is bigger than Buck and Aikman and your feelings about that booth.

I mean, this is, again, this is the

small intelligence.

Imagine you had the most electric part of Stairway to Heaven, and then instead of Robert Plant coming back in, it was like Tiny Tim.

You'd be like, what the Christ is this?

It would ruin the song.

And so, a lot of just the smarminess, I feel like, on the back end of it affects the tune for me.

That's all.

But then, you don't have a problem with like CBS leading to Adam Archuletta, like, it's they all lead to or

Spiro Didi's, one of the great broadcasters of our time.

All right, uh, we have one more last one, my personal favorite

is this Christmas

more Trans-Siberian orchestra.

Pretty good.

What is this?

This is terrible.

The SNFL network.

Oh.

But in keeping with that company's

practices,

they've laid off all the orchestra involved with this, and now they just have a preschool kid hitting one of those little ding.

Like

the age of a child that does on like they can play bells at the beginning there yeah they they went to a los angeles daycare center and found a xylophone player that's six years old and they said that will do now this sounds like the music in home alone 2 when kevin mcalister is lost in new york and can't find his way home absolutely

i like the bells though at the beginning yeah i don't know what it really is about this one i just really like it um that's cool and yeah netflix does not have at least not yet yet, a NFL specific theme song.

They just play like a montage of pop culture random nonsense.

They should offer NFL Network that song and be like, we'll give you 50.

We'll take it.

That would help them.

All right.

Let's

do some news.

Oh, wait, I got to do the power rankings.

Let me do this because I know what's going to happen.

I know what's going to happen.

If we try to make this a group thing,

Connor's going to throw too many grenades.

And so I'm just going to try to do it based on our collective reactions.

No offense, Connor.

So, real quick, here we go.

Number six, I'm going to go Amazon.

Number five, I'm going to go NBC.

Be better.

Number four, I'm going to go

NNFL.

Interesting.

Network.

Number three, I'm going to go.

Ooh, now it gets tough.

CBS.

Number two, I'm going to go.

This is a tough one.

I'm going to go Fox.

And number one, I'm going to go Monday Night Football.

This is playing out like the NFL PA union election.

Like, there's just like this is a complete sham closed-door process.

That's it.

Monday Night Football.

That's ESBN, ABC.

Fox 2, CBS 3, NFL Network 4,

which will be sold to Netflix for $50,

and a

bag of peanuts.

NBC 5, Amazon 6.

Let's do some news.

Not an electoral process right there, but that's okay.

Saquon Barkley is on the council.

And Tua, Tag Ovalia,

the quarterback.

Oh, who is really,

he's been fantastic.

He's been,

when when he's not injured, he's great.

He's got to stay healthy.

What?

POTUS, POTUS.

Nobody, you got to have the chief of staff has to go, hey,

this one's a nightmare.

So I'm either going to spell it out for you in the notes or

just say Tua.

Yeah, say Tua.

But

that's a rough one.

It sounds like me in 2020.

And

I don't think Trump knows ball.

That's my, I know he presents himself as like an all-American guy, but

let's listen to this more, a little bit more from this.

And just, it's, it appears to me as he's reading from this

note card or whatever, that these are some of them, it's like the first time he's heard these names before.

NFL icons, Tony Romo, also a great football player, quarterback, also a great golfer.

Nick Bosa,

you know him,

he's a modern-day version of Lawrence.

What do you think?

He's pretty good, right, Lawrence?

Pretty good.

He is Saquon Barkley, who's on the council.

Knows him.

And Tua, Tag Ovalia,

the quarterback, who is really,

he's been fantastic.

He's been...

When he's not injured, he's great.

Stay healthy,

and he's a great guy.

I love that it's just triple H's next to him, the famous wrestler.

He offered a little analysis there.

He did.

He knew, you got to give him credit.

He knew Tua has injury issues.

And by the way, if I'm Tua, I'm a little bit steamed because I know Tua is a Trump guy.

The last name butchering.

And then it's like, do we have to mention that I have consistent brain injuries?

Like every time I come up,

even the goddamn president has to mention that, you know, I can't stay on the field because my brain's like, please stop playing football.

Also, we got a bosa mentioned with no talk of injuries, and they can't stay on the field either.

So it's kind of

a tough one.

And I'm sure, I guess Lawrence Taylor was there because he looked at him.

I think he was on the council.

But don't tell LT he's a modern day version of you.

Yeah, LT, I'm sure he looked over and said that and LT in his head was like, yeah, right, motherfucker.

He's LT.

But you know what?

That's another Connor hot topic that we don't have time for right now that lt is an iconic player

yeah whatever let's move it along all right let's get into the news oh connor just says crazy stuff

all right first item up you know we're gonna start with contract stuff and we try not to get too bogged down by this because in so many cases it is just the nature of the dance um but when they are big names, we have to talk about it.

We have to at least, you know, kick the tires on the story.

Let's start in Washington, where commander's wide receiver Terry McLaurin, who has been trying to get a new deal for some time now, has formally requested a trade.

Schefter

reported this on Thursday night, but this two sides far apart.

McLaren has held out the first four days of training camp.

He did report Sunday, so now it's a hold in, but there has been no movement toward a new deal.

So,

you know, Mark, I think, yeah, I think this is positioning most likely.

And

there's no scenario where the commanders, where they are coming off an NFC title game, are going to blink with Terry McLaurin and trade him.

So it's just, I think I would label this one under the category of distraction rather than crisis.

And they'll figure out a band-aid contract.

But at the same time, as Joe Girardi was known to say, it's not what you want.

It's not what you want because things have been so smooth post-Jaden post-Jaden Daniels here that you want to just not have any hiccups.

Washington, apparently, and overtly has no interest in trading Terry McLaurin.

The reporting is that several teams already called yesterday, inquiring, as they would, probably more than several.

And you must.

I need my team's GM to make that phone call.

Absolutely.

He would be a cherry on top for a number of other.

offenses out there, but they have no interest in trading him.

I just think it's like the next step in kind of turning up the volume and getting the deal done.

And apparently the fact that he's literally turning 30 when the season starts is causing some of the angst about what to pay him and where he slots in amongst these like top five, top 10 wideouts.

And he's a top one.

Here we go.

Connor, I'll set you up this way.

The contract's already done.

Denver signed wide receiver Cortland Sutton, who turns 30 in October to a four-year, $92 million contract with $41 million guaranteed.

I believe they are similar.

They're not the same same type of player, but I think they, in terms of what they mean to their team, they're kind of ceiling as player.

I think they're between like 10 and 20 in terms of the wide receiver conversation.

Let's just, let's just have the Broncos fax over, we're still using fax machines, have them fax over that deal and be like, we could tweak this a little bit, but let's just make this work.

Come on.

I think the problem was he missed the window.

Had his contract been coming up a year ago, he would have hit that sweet spot of new head coach and new regime reward the guys who play how they want them to play.

Garrett Wilson.

Yes, exactly.

And so the problem is now you've missed that window.

Now you're turning 30.

And is this sort of a retroactive award for surviving one of the worst franchises in modern NFL history?

I suppose, but that's not going to get you paid at this point.

Like this ship is kind of moving a little bit too fast for them.

Here's just a little context before we move on.

T.

Higgins got four for $115 with $41 million guaranteed.

DK Metcalf Metcalf from Pittsburgh, four for $132, $60 million guaranteed.

And Garrett Wilson, as I mentioned, four for $130, $90 million.

So I'm guessing also, McLaurin's like,

if Garrett Wilson got that, I should be in that category.

I'm not in the Cortland Sutton category.

So maybe it's not that simple.

Maybe you have to split the baby there.

I don't know, but get it done.

There's too much to be excited about in Washington to be hung up on this stuff.

Here's one advantage of our technological and logistical 9-11 yesterday, Mark.

We got this story in the show.

This from Diana Rossini of ESPN.

The Micah Parsons-Cowboys relationship, according to Rossini, I'm reading exactly her wording here, has deteriorated to the point where the star pass rusher is considering, quote, drastic measures, which could include a trade request or even a declaration.

Holy shit, a declaration.

He like rolls out like an old weathered yellow piece of paper with like old, like, you know, what do they call that?

What is it?

The, what is that, that font?

That calligraphy.

Yeah.

A calligraphy, a medieval script?

Yeah.

Anyway.

I declare

bankruptcy!

A declaration that he is severing his relationship with the team.

Per multiple league sources familiar with the situation.

The two sides remain far apart heading into the second week of training camp.

They are not currently negotiating.

Connor, I feel like every this is a rite of passage in our league right now.

The Cowboys squabbling with a top player.

Does this feel different to you?

Well, it's all about the theatrics of it.

Like, much like the graphics and the explosions and movies have to get bigger and better over time to keep our attention.

We had to evolve from I'm sneakily removing the team from my Twitter page to like, I literally declare that I am no longer a member of this team, which is kind of, you give them credit for that, right?

It's a uh, it's an artful kind of next step up, but these things are complicated, right?

Where if the season starts to move on without you, and let's say over the first four or five weeks of the year, Matty Braflus is cooking and the Cowboys have a top 10 defense, you then look like a gigantic asshole.

So that's the sort of tightrope that you have to walk right now.

Michael Parsons.

You know, it's crazy.

Jared can't be happy with this.

That

in my school district, and I think it was people in this demographic, like not only did we learn cursive handwriting in like third grade,

there was a phase.

I specifically remember because I feel like my mom, my poor mom, had to go to the local arts and crafts store to get a specific pen for it where we were being taught calligraphy.

Yeah, like

come on now, but not that much.

Think about something, but back then, though,

and not, you know, I think that probably was a demarcation line for certain types of school districts versus others.

If you were being taught that, and I was too.

And have you seen that?

You were a blue ribbon school district, so I guess maybe calligraphy may be a little highfalutin for some people.

Well, I don't know when it comes.

Area man finds the saddest thing ever to brag about.

I am not bragging about the fact that I'm...

Talking about myself, Tesla.

Come on.

Listen, I'm saying that back then, like, people actually wrote letters to each other.

There was like

same-day mail and stuff.

And like, people wrote six, seven-page letters.

And calligraphy was just part and parcel of communicating with people.

And now it's like this high-fallutin, lost language.

No, like my children don't even know that it exists, I don't think.

They don't know how to do it.

They don't even know it exists.

I'll go the other direction on it.

I could have been taught about what a tariff means.

Would have been helpful around this time in my life.

Like, we could, instead of using a dopey marker doing fancy pants writing, I could have been learned basic economics.

Well, news flash, like, you probably were in social studies and forgot about it or any various form of history you were taught.

Tariffs have been around for hundreds of years.

Thank you, Mark.

As have you.

Super important.

Oh, gotcha.

Yeah, baby.

Five years older than you, please.

It keeps on going down.

All right.

Let's keep moving.

Do you want to button that one up, Connor?

Go ahead.

I just think calligraphy is super important because that is the way that you sign all of the most important documents that make up your life in paperwork,

marriage certificates, birth certificates uh you sign the piece of paper on your home imagine if you just wrote it in letters how insane that would look like i mean that's what

that's what the gravers are are doing like the the the zoomers and the

you're just they're just so justin' certificate just says like justin like like you would find in a

i don't

just like what are you even talking about justin's calligraphy

no i learned calligraphy in school and I'm pretty proud of the fact that I can do it because, as you guys are talking about, it's a lost art form.

But I have a question.

We talk football.

Yeah, okay.

That's fair.

I'm just not going to freak out about this, and we don't need to talk about it, I don't think, too much.

Unless you wanted to add something, Connor, I think you already did, though.

Yeah.

My only thought here is that Micah is trying to out Jerry, Jerry.

Right.

And good luck.

Because I don't think anyone's tried that tactic before when Jerry tries tries to bully people, forget their names.

Remember, he did that with Ezekiel Elliott, too.

He made the Zeke Who t-shirts and stuff like that.

All these other guys kind of went into a corner and sort of just rode out the storm.

Mike is trying to out Jerry Jerry, which I think is kind of cool.

And Jerry Jones let Emmett Smith go two games into the regular season on a Super Bowl team that hinged on him.

So

he'll engage in this contest.

Of course, Jarrah of 1996 or whatever,

I would think, in addition to being 30 years older, is in a much more desperate place than he was back then.

They were at the place, the Cowboys, when they let Emmett hold out, were coming from such a place of power and, I would think, confidence organizationally that they could do that and still, I think they won both the games he missed.

No, I thought they started 0-2.

I'd have to check that out.

I think they lost both.

But, like,

they recovered and had another big season.

Like,

I don't know if Jerry has the stomach for that given the recent trajectory of the franchise, but it's going to be a good test.

All right, real quick, some signings.

Noah Fant,

who was cut loose by the Seahawks, signs of the Bengals, the tight end.

Offensive tackle, Colton Miller and Raiders come to terms on a contract extension.

Three for $66, $42.5 million guaranteed.

Some injuries.

49ers wide receiver, Jawan Jennings re-injured the same calf that was bothering him during OTAs.

There is no timetable for his return.

Ooh,

I think we did a making-the-leap conversation about that wide receiver room, and the stock of last year's first-round pick keeps going

up.

But that's not good for the Niners.

They're not particularly deep at wide receiver.

Niners sign Andy Isabella and Amir Abdullah after working them out on Wednesday.

Ravens tight end Isaiah likely suffered a small foot fracture during Tuesday's practice.

Harbaugh confirmed the reported timeline.

Six to eight weeks he's going to miss.

So that is rough.

But what is that?

If you're at six to eight weeks and it's August 1st, probably

four.

Yeah, that's taking you into the regular season.

And finally, Latavius Murray, running back, one of those guys, a classic that guy in 15, 20 years is like, name a random running back from the NFL.

Latavius Murray is a good one.

uh he retired you know he went with me on that um

bally hood uh italy germany trip oh

amazing guy

behind the curtain of that that great uh transcontinental adventure i will say um because he did a little media after that and i kind of felt like he was maybe going to wind up on like good morning football but he was um all these guys were so ready to be on camera and do anything but he he had to go around and you know they met with like hundreds of soldiers and his energy just never waned and one of my favorite things that happened was he went and bought this very fancy kind of plush um jacket one that i would never go buy for myself and it it didn't fit him and so he just gave it to me it's still in my closet that's awesome it didn't fit him what does it look like on you was it it's well it was a little too small for him he wasn't like it wasn't like he was like so bulked up but he was like uh obviously bigger than me but like it was it was a little too small for him and it fit me in certain situations like i wouldn't wear wear it around 10

we're gonna go to break when we come back can you put it on for us

yeah i'll just grab it all right perfect time to take a break and when we return we're gonna get into the preseason power rankings stay right there

If you're a hedonist who just can't get enough, head over to patreon.com/slash heed the call where we have all fresh original content in the heed orbit.

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And I feel like there's a lot of questions that I need to be answering, and I will.

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Oh, welcome back.

It's like less moonbez to say in a Mikey Moonbez, I don't like that.

I don't like it.

That guitar, it's too fearsome.

He's like, no, that's exactly what we need to get ahead.

Anyway, Sessler's back.

He's got the jacket on.

I, Mark, I don't like this jacket.

I love this jacket.

And it fits me better than I recall, too.

Is it leather?

Holy shit.

It's...

I should know what the name of it is, but it's kind of like the

fabric-y...

I don't know.

I'm terrible.

And you're wearing Latavius Murray's jacket that he gave to you on this day, this hollowed day, where Latavius Murray steps away from professional football.

That's right.

Wow, who's more on top of the league than this show?

Well, I think we have tangible connections to the players.

I think that's where it starts.

That's unquestionable.

Unquestioned.

You also won in an

auction a pair of Nick Bosa's underwear, as I understand.

So can you put those on as well?

In the wash.

All right, let's see.

Let's see.

Let's see.

By the way, just there was that Hall of Fame game, Chargers, Lions.

Didn't catch a ton of it, going to be real with you, but that's a long-standing tradition for the old Zeuser.

The one thing, though, that did catch my eye

in social media late last night was, yes.

Let's see it.

The virtual measurement of first downs.

The NFL sent out a tweet introducing the new virtual measurement system for first downs, which allows the NFL to accurately and efficiently measure the distance between the spotted ball and the line to gain.

And it would just, Connor, more evidence, despite what they were putting out there publicly months before this has been rolled out, that it wasn't logistically possible or it would just be too much of a headache to implement.

When things go wrong in the playoffs, that causes the NFL to act.

And it was the Josh Allen tush-push

that I think pushed this to reality.

And I think it's going to make a better version of the game.

So I'm very happy about this tech advancement for our league.

I guess

we'll have to see it in real time.

We're still going to fight about this.

All of a sudden, when we have a secret computer behind a closed door, tell us where the first down marker is.

You don't think we're all going to sit there and be like, accept chat GG.

I get that people are going to be that way, Connor, but

I can't waste my time.

Life is so complicated now that I can't waste my life saying every election is rigged and every NBA draft lottery and NFL thing is rigged.

Like, you'll just, you'll end up just driving yourself insane.

At a certain point, you have to, I guess, and call me naive, like, trust certain things that the, the league is using just the straight metric or the, uh, the tech here in a uh, upfront way.

And if they are, if they're, if they're, you know, making this into reality television, I hope it gets found out.

And if the league gets torn asunder as a result, fine.

But I am willing to move forward with the current.

Well,

they kind of have you where they want you then.

They kind of have you where they want you.

I know, but it's like warning you down to you not questioning.

It's not even a day thing.

It's just more about like the world as we, in this new world we live in with AI technology and everything.

It's like, I could either be suspicious of literally everything at this point and just hate the world I live in, or certain things be willing to be like, okay, they're going to be on the level about this.

This is going to be,

this is a category.

I'm going to trust the NFL on this one.

What could possibly go wrong?

I'm more of a, I mean, I'd be curious then, where do you go on robotic balls and strikes in Major League Baseball?

I think it is

something that I struggle with a little bit more because I like the human element in baseball in a little bit of a different way.

And you don't care for it.

It makes sense that you don't care for it in the NFL, but I just think

if we were going to mistrust a bunch of just like affable 60-year-old attorneys that are just doing this for the lulls like they do on the weekend, then we're definitely going to mistrust a massive computer.

But your point is taken.

I'm just saying

it's not going to solve the problem in my mind.

But isn't it like at this point, it's like it's an alternative to what happened on that Josh Allen play.

Like, it's not that I don't trust the human refs necessarily, but like, they're so imperfect in these major moments in the football season that, like, I'm willing to give this a go.

For me, it's like, why didn't this, I mean, I know the answer, there's a tech behind it, but like, doesn't this feel like it should have come out in like 2008?

Like, we're 2025.

No, that was the long-standing, because people have been howling about this for a while now, really, since the moment tennis that revolutionized the sport.

Not that I know shit about tennis, but I know once they went off just the dude in the high chair that John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors wanted to kill to here is the computer imagery telling you if that ball hit the line or not.

That changed that sport.

And

it's

I don't know if people are talking about, people have suspicions about that system.

I don't watch enough tennis, but like I'm willing to trust the tech here and hope it just makes the game a little cleaner and make sure the big ones, we don't miss the big ones, like happened to the Buffalo Bills, as fans of that team will tell you.

But the thing is, Dan, it doesn't change where the ball is spotted.

It just changes how they measure it.

Like, have we had a consistent issue with officials grabbing the chains and running out onto the field and moving to the left or to the right a few inches and changing the measurement?

Like this doesn't affect where they spot the ball.

Oh, I thought it was also affecting they could see where the ball stopped its forward

think that, but no, it's based on where the ref spots the ball.

Instead of bringing out the chain gang to measure it, you can just overhead measure it without that potential variation.

I'm going to have the understanding or hope that this is going to be a process, and this is step one of the process, and then eventually they'll get to that.

I just don't know if this funny is a good idea.

That's an important note, and I thank you for bringing it up.

It just takes away an excuse for a team to use the measurement as an extra timeout to gather and talk about what's about to happen because now it's going to be faster with the virtual

like some of the issues in tennis because I watched a ton of Wimbledon and like it was a sideshow at times.

It's really reliable, the electronic spotting.

They have an actual human voice that screams out

like, you know, out or in to try to humanize it.

But it was the players that were at times, I wouldn't say suspicious, but agitated with it.

And I do wonder if some of the angst will come from the players and coaches, not just us on Twitter, on our TV screens watching the thing.

We'll see.

Man, Cesler in that jacket, Connor.

Smoke show.

You might go to a shirt underneath it, though, next time.

No, I mean,

you put like maybe a distressed white T under that thing.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe a Henley?

Maybe a little Don Henley there?

Maybe even a Glenn Fry.

You put a Glenn Fry under there?

Yep.

Walk down the Avenue.

I mean, I believe this jacket, and yet another reason, if you're an audio listener, please get on the YouTube.

Give us a subscribe also.

That's very important to the brand.

So do that, please.

This has moved up mark a point and a half.

It blows Levi out of the water, and I like Levi.

Levi's got some serious structural issues developing.

I'll just, that's a little bit of an update.

He's gotten quite a workout over the last three or four years.

All right, let's get into it.

Power rankings, preseason power rankings from He the Call.

And a reminder as we get into this,

who are the tastemakers here?

I am Dan Hansis.

I was the power rankings beat writer for NFL Media and NFL Network for four seasons.

Connor Orr is here, a longtime journalist and SI Monday morning quarterback.

He handles the power rankings on that side of the media spectrum.

Mark's here too.

The number one according to Dan Hansa's power rankings today.

Thank you, Paul Rudd.

Mark, who was not trusted to author power rankings for any online or print site.

So

hello, everyone.

All right, we got, we're going to do four tiers, just like we used to do on the old power ranking show at NFL Media.

We'll start with the top eight.

These are the, I would say, the contenders as we try to make sense.

And as we get into this conversation, Connor, I think very important to point out: like, so much is going to change.

And this is kind of a to me, I did this one all on feel.

It was just like, how does it feel?

I did it kind of quick and dirty, and not because I didn't want to put effort into it.

I just felt with this type of exercise, it's just like,

where do you stand in your heart on these teams at this moment?

So let's see.

Eagles one,

Chiefs two.

So the two teams that met in the Super Bowl won two.

Lions three.

Bills four.

Ravens five.

Commanders 6.

Packers 7.

And Broncos 8.

Team of HTC, perhaps?

Hmm.

So let's see where we kind of, we're all in lockstep.

Justin was the only one that didn't have Eagles number one.

He had him all the way down at number four.

What?

Justin, what did you do?

Yeah, number two.

Two.

Oh.

You had him at two.

Okay, good, good, good.

All right.

So that makes sense.

All right.

So

we had him

at one and then Justin at two.

That's fine.

Chiefs, I had them at two, Mark at two, Connor at four, Justin at four,

and then the Lions.

We're all kind of in lockstep with these teams.

The big difference, I guess, is the Bills are at number four overall.

Justin, you had them at number one.

Why did you have them at the top team in the league?

I just have a lot of faith in what the Bills can do.

I mean,

I don't know.

It's kind of arbitrary and going off feel, like you said.

I am going off feel a little bit, but Josh Allen, I have the utmost faith in as one of the best quarterbacks in the league, and I don't really have any concerns about their offense because of him.

And then this offseason, they just added pieces and pieces and pieces to the defense in free agency, in the draft.

And I feel like you throw enough shit at a problem, something's going to stick.

I like Maxwell Harrison, the first round pick.

So I'm kind of in on this is potentially the Bills year.

I don't know.

That's not blasphemy.

That works.

Yeah, the Ravens and Commanders we were kind of in lockstep on.

Now let's talk about the Packers.

I had them at seven, and they fall at seven.

Justin, you had him at 10, okay?

But look at this.

Connor has him at 14, okay?

And so how did they get all the way up here?

Because Sese has him at number three.

So this is good.

I like when See gets put in a situation where he's a little bit on an island and has to defend himself.

Mark, let's hear it.

Why do you have the Packers as one of the top three teams in the league?

I have to be honest, like coming off last season, they didn't feel like anything close to the top three team.

And I don't know if I saw them make the moves that would change my mind around them.

But you tell us why they're a top three team right now to you.

I look at the way that Jordan Love closed the past two seasons.

If you and he was as clean as can be and not turning the ball over, they've drafted a number, they've drafted a wide receiver

in the first round.

They are are stacked on offense.

I think that you, I am just looking at a team that I think is going to jump, leap, move forward, and just have one of those seasons where they rip off 14, 15 wins.

I think LaFleur is in the right spot.

I also,

I'm trying to look at a team a day, and this came on the day that I was looking into the Packers and like just kind of also, I was watching the visit with them during the summer and with Love and LaFleur.

I was like, something about this team right now, I get it.

It's not entirely logical.

And I don't have a problem with you guys putting them where you put them because it makes some sense.

I just feel like when I do this, it's like I want to look ahead and see like someone's going to surprise us here and be way better than we think.

Like the commanders a year ago, no one would have expected.

But I think Green Bay is going to surge and have that season that we've been waiting for.

That it's kind of like all these young pieces are growing up together and this will be a year where it shows.

All right, Connor, you have a counterpoint naturally here because 14 is where you put put like a team that's a fringe playoff team, basically.

Right.

I mean, I think that they're a seventh seed,

probably at best this year.

I famously didn't think that the Eagles could win the Super Bowl, so take that as a grain of salt.

But I just look at the trouble spots on this team, and it's secondary and defensive interior.

And I just don't know a lot of teams as you get deeper into a season and down the stretch that are going to win games or win these kind of hard scrabble November, December games without being able to defend the pass and without being able to stop the run.

And maybe they're expecting Xavier McKinney to take another step forward.

And he was tremendous last year and maybe this defense is going to morph again.

But I don't love the front seven and the secondary makes me nervous.

And at that point, I think, especially in that division, you just get knocked down a peg.

I was going to say, it's the one thing that...

I don't think there's a 14 or 15 win team in this division this year personally.

I think the Bears are going to be better.

I think the Vikings will probably come back to the pack a little bit after their 14-win season, but I think the Lions obviously are going to be right there and be a.

But you have Green Bay at seven.

I mean, that's, Dan, that's pretty lost.

Yeah, no, I like them.

Like, this is, that's, I feel like they're a fringe top contender.

Um,

and they, they're coming off an 11-win season.

They were, you know, one and done in the playoffs.

Did not, that offense that did get better as the season went along, but it also didn't start great and then got shut down by the Eagles in the playoffs.

So, I don't know.

It's going to be interesting.

They're an interesting team.

They're a tough one to figure out.

Let's check out the next tier.

So this would be 9 through

16.

We have the Bucs at 9.

I ended up knocking them down a little bit.

We'll get into that.

The Bengals at 10.

I don't know what the Bengals did to be considered a top 10 team.

We'll get into that.

The Niners at 11.

The Chargers at 12.

The Vikings, yes, coming off a 14-win season, but new quarterback, quarterback's never played in the NFL, so they're down to 13, which I call, as everyone knows, everyone knows, the Twilight Zone on the power rankings when you're not really sure what to make of a team.

You stick them at 13 and you just move forward.

The Rams at 14,

the Texans at 15, and the Cowboys at 16, the prime meridian of the football side of things.

Yeah, we'll start with the Bucs.

I like the Bucs.

We've talked about it a lot.

They're a fun team to watch.

I do wonder about, I have them at 13 in my personal rankings, which is my Twilight Zone, where I see them as a team that can win a division that has been consistently mediocre and win a playoff game as they've done in the past.

But I don't see them as like,

I struggle to put them in that top eight where it's like, when I look at my top eight, it's like any of these teams could win the Super Bowl and it wouldn't be surprising to me.

If the Bucs won the Super Bowl this year, I'd be like, what the the hell just happened here?

They're knocked back a tear for me.

So I stand by mine.

You guys had him at eight, eight, and nine collectively.

What am I missing with the Bucs?

I mean, my defense of it is that I think that the back end of this roster and the depth on this roster is pretty underrated.

And we see that week over week where some of these guys that Jason Light drafts all of a sudden, it reminds me of the Chargers secondary last year, just emerges and starts making plays.

I think that the bottom of this roster is better than maybe a lot of the other teams, especially all the other teams in their division.

And I think Baker Mayfield is like a top eight quarterback.

Like, and if you have a top eight quarterback,

you have a chance to win the Super Bowl.

So yeah, I think this, what like Baker Mayfield from last year, and again, there's another coordinator switch that's a little bit of a of an X factor there.

That's got to work again, but they are stacked on offense.

Like, I wouldn't have a problem calling them like a top four offense.

And you know what I love about this Bucs team versus a couple years ago is they can run the ball.

They can punish you on the ground.

And I think that Baker Mayfield, when they were good last year and when they surged, like there's this sort of toughness and grit to Baker Mayfield that the offense seems to really play off of.

And Light and Bowles, like they've just built a solid, good team.

And like I trust sort of every element here.

And they're in a division that I think they can stack an extra two or three wins than you would have in a different division.

Okay, fair.

I like Todd Bowles, don't love him.

I really like Baker, but maybe I have him.

Yeah, probably if we start ranking quarterbacks, he probably would end up being in that category,

Connor.

But I don't know, maybe I give them a little bit of that NFC South tax and maybe they don't deserve it.

But at the same time, it's like you look at the teams that are battling it out in the NFC North, as we were just talking about.

And you're like, whoever comes out of that division is going to be battle-tested.

And I trust them, whatever is going to happen in January.

The NFC South earning my trust is whoever wins that being a Super Bowl contender.

I'm not there yet, but listen, this is Buccaneers beat the Lions last year.

August 1st.

They did.

They absolutely did.

Lions and Vikings also battle tested, got knocked out of the playoffs in a hurry.

So I don't, you know.

Okay, I'm just looking at these.

We'll get into the Bengals at the end of the show, so let's keep that there.

Yeah, I had the Vikings a little bit lower.

Than you guys.

I had them at 16 in my rings.

I just think there's going to be growing pains of that offense and maybe a little bit regression to the mean.

I see them in that range of how you see the Packers, Connor.

I see them as a team that's going to be fighting for a wildcard spot rather than a top dog in the division.

I think I just put the difference between them and Green Bay is that I agree with you.

I look at them almost on the exact same plane is that I think that there's part of the roster that's just a little bit higher end with the Vikings.

I think that the defense can score and do a little bit more for you, and you have the best wide receiver in football.

And I think that to me just pushes them just slightly ahead of Green Bay for me.

All right, let's go to tier three.

As we move on, I just want to say, yes, Micah Parsons, Michael Person drama notwithstanding, I think you guys are a little too low on the Cowboys, and we will find out

in a month.

Wait, why are we too low on the defense?

What have the Cowboys showed us in the past year to

give you confidence?

You have have him at number 13, which, by the way, is Twilight Zone.

Yeah.

Dak Prescott is a really good quarterback, and everyone seems to have forgotten that because he sometimes struggles in the playoff.

Well, he really struggles.

He's a really good quarterback.

Yeah, he's one of the top 10.

He's got to stay healthy.

Schottenheimer's got to prove that he's a head coach, but I like everything I'm hearing from Schottenheimer.

They avoided the serious injuries on the offensive line at training camp last week, and I think the Micah Parsons thing is going to, that's just a distraction that's going to go away soon.

And I like the Cowboys to bounce back under new leadership that

I have a lot of faith in Dak Prescott, I guess, is where this comes from for me.

And I think you guys will reevaluate this ranking in a month or so.

All right.

Okay.

I mean,

that's literally what the power rankings are for.

Yeah, that's good.

It's typically a weekly face.

Regardless of what the Cowboys end up doing here, we will reevaluate this four times during the regular season.

Yeah.

I'm surprised you're the first person I met that was like, man, this Brian Schottenheimer hire.

I really love what I'm hearing coming out of Dallas with Brian Schottenheimer.

That's

like you're a little bit on an island there, I feel like, but that's good.

It's good to be on Take Island sometimes.

Oh, this Schottenheimer, he's changing the temperature of the room.

I mean, did you hear this from the other day?

Just freaking, you know, try to shove it up their ass.

So that's why you have them so high.

Now I get it.

All right, the next year, these are teams that are, again, if things break right, you know, maybe playoff teams, but it could go the other way too.

Number 17, the Steelers.

I mean, they're trying to get out of that cul-de-sac of elite mediocrity, but right now we have them right there.

15 for Zuzzer, 19 for Sessler, 20 for Connor, 15 for Justin.

All right, 18, we have

the Seahawks.

19,

the Falcons.

I knew Sessler's buying in on Falcons.

He's pushing.

You know, every year, Sessler pushes all the eggs into the Falcons basket.

He's there every year.

That's a 15.

All right.

Let's see.

Cardinals at 20.

That makes sense.

The Bears.

We're not quite buying in on the Bears just yet, but we do have another big discrepancy there.

We'll get to that.

The Dolphins at Bears at 21.

Dolphins at 22.

The Raiders at 23.

And the Patriots at 24, all that big spending, but we're still not in on the Raiders yet.

But let's go back to the Bears.

Connor, I'll start with you this time.

You have them at number 15.

And again, in that category, you're like, oh, this is a team that can win nine or 10 game, maybe even 11 of a couple

balls bounce their way.

You have them at 15, which is 10 slots higher than Cessler.

You start on this one, Connor.

I just think if you're looking at it this time of year, and again,

contrary to Justin's point, we're going to be able to do this exercise again at some point in the season.

But right now, you're looking at it as stocks.

And

this is a stock with a lot of potential.

And why wouldn't you want to buy relatively low on the Bears?

Caleb Williams is phenomenal.

He's so good.

And his offensive staff last year was so bad.

And there were still games where he did some of the most incredible stuff.

quarterback-wise on the field that I saw in the NFL last year.

Hey, you just get that guy to play in rhythm, and I'm sorry, sorry, but they're going to win a lot of football games.

And I think Ben Johnson can get him to play in rhythm.

Hey, Conman, did you happen to check out the last Heed the Call with James Palmer?

I understand if you didn't, you're a very busy man.

Many children, a job.

It's on my list.

That's fine.

But we did our winner on the list candidates.

And Caleb Williams is on my list.

He's one of my two guys.

And the points you just made, I made the same ones.

There's so much pointing and reasons to be legitimately optimistic.

And I think people sleep on the good things he did last season.

Now, Cesi, you got him in kind of the bottom quadrant of the league.

Why are you so out on the Bears?

This guy hates Ben Johnson.

As much as the producer loves Schottenheimer, Sessler hates Ben Johnson.

I don't hate anyone.

I think there's...

I think there's a little bit of a cycle.

Like when you're doing this, you know, and like, unlike you guys, like mine have been unpublished for years and I just do them alone in a notebook or something.

But like

I mix in my own bias.

Don't touch grass,

please.

I uh, I mix in personal bias, and I think the Bears stung me last year because I was very um hopeful that they'd get they'd be a different team than they were, and there was a lot of hype around them.

And I feel like we're trying to do it again, and I'm kind of just like, show it to me.

That's with some of these teams, just show it to me.

I don't hate anyone on the team, I don't

optimism,

exhaustion.

And I guess last year was a little bit annoying, but also

honestly, now that we look back on it, it's always more clear with the hindsight, right?

But like

the hype around the Bears last year, because they added those playmakers and drafted the quarterback with keeping that staff in place, you know, that felt like actually fool's gold.

And that division, this actually feels like there might be

a real chance for them to finally improve.

Mark, anybody else from this tier that you wanted to touch on?

Well, I have

systematically overrated the Cardinals compared to the rest of you.

I've met 17, Connor at 19.

I think that's fair where they are at 20, but I do see

a team with a plan that has grown a lot stronger than where they were two years ago.

And last year, they were 8-9.

And I know that we went through the drama of me incorrectly predicting that they'd make the playoffs on this up, but they hammered a couple teams.

And I think that Jonathan Gannon is a good head coach whose defense has added a lot lot of parts.

That was a big problem.

And you've got a bunch going on on offense as well.

If you kind of look around that roster with Trey McBride, Marvin Harrison, if Kyler Murray can A, stay healthy and B, kind of just a notch up, because I find him tedious at times, obviously.

The Cardinals, to me, if they won eight games a year ago,

what's the problem with them winning 10 this time and maybe sneaking into the playoffs?

So the Cardinals.

Don't talk about them.

I have what you have with the Bears, I have with the Cardinals.

Like, everyone's like, oh, you know what?

People

should be talking about the Cardinals.

Somewhat saying you shouldn't be talking about them.

Right.

I don't think they have the quarterback.

And

I'm not ready to say Jonathan Gannon is a good coach.

They haven't proven anything to me yet.

So you got to show me.

Play well for more than four weeks for once in the entire Kyler Murray era, really.

Well, they played well for eight weeks last year in terms of

they went eight and nine.

Did we get eight good weeks out of the Cardinals last year?

Check this out.

I'm going to fact-check Cessler in this one in a big spot.

Trey McBride score more than one touchdown this season?

He will.

I mean, the case.

All right.

On the point of

making the leave candidates,

I'm in lockstep with you that Marvin Harrison Jr.

is going to be much more productive, and he was pretty good last year as a rookie.

McBride, that will, you want to talk about mean, regressing to the mean or whatever.

He's going to, he'll probably have double-digit touchdowns if he stays healthy.

He's that talented a player.

So there's a reason for optimism.

I'm just saying there's a little, I don't know, Mark.

It's like

that's a frustrating organization and has been for some time.

I think I probably agitated you

last season on this show by pumping up.

I just say pumping up the paradigm.

I didn't agitate me.

It was just more like,

man, what did this team do to get anybody's

trust?

This organization, this leadership?

I mean, it's not deep trust.

None of them, but we don't even have them in the top 17 teams in the league.

I know.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm like,

I'm in full boomer mode.

It's taken me, it took me honestly two straight minutes to find the 2024 Cardinals schedule.

But we're here.

All right, Cecil, I was exactly right.

This was their

schedule last year.

Loss, win, loss, loss, win, loss, win, win, win, win.

Bye week.

Then Mark went on his epic rant about how amazing the Cardinals were.

Loss, loss, loss, win, loss, loss, win.

Loss, loss, loss.

You said

you said have four good games or something.

I said they had eight if you want to talk about a win being relatively good.

I mean, put together a yes, they won eight games total.

They beat the Rams 41 to 10.

I'm talking about put a stretch together that goes more than a month and gets people excited for no reason.

Like, they can't do that under Carla Murray.

They never have.

They collapse.

I will say this.

They were six and four coming off four straight wins.

And then you're right, the floor fell out.

And that's what they've got to figure out how to get through a season because they were six and four.

And that's when I was on a mountaintop with them thinking, I think they might be a bit of a berserker or a spoiler team down the stretch.

Instead, they spoiled.

It's good for the show.

You're all in on the Cardinals again, and we'll get to have this conversation throughout the year.

You're in now, Mark.

All because you put them at number 17.

All right, last tier.

This is the final eight teams in the league.

I guess from where we stand now, we're not bullish on any of these teams, but a lot can change.

A lot can change.

I bet the Washington Commanders, as an example, if we did this exercise last summer, we probably would have had them floating around here.

And look where they ended up in the final four.

Here we go.

Jaguars at 25, the Panthers at 26, the Colts at 27, the Jets at 28, the Giants at 29, the Titans at 30,

the Saints at 31, and the Cleveland Browns at 32.

And in this tier, there's really,

I'm a little, I guess, less excited about the Jaguars than Connor is, but Connor only had them as 22 in his rankings.

I have him at 27.

Otherwise, we're pretty much aligned in this category.

I have

the Jets maybe a couple spots higher at 25 on my list.

You guys have them at 28, 28, and 26.

But in general, we're kind of aligned in this bottom eight, and we'll see if any of these teams can really surprise us.

Great to see the Titans coming up here and just

popping into our

finally popping into our kind of conversation worldview here, which is good.

I do love that Jets, Titans, Browns make up three of the last five teams.

We know how to pick them on this show.

Decisively.

Is there a team on this list that stands out as the most likely surprise?

Because for me, it's probably the Panthers or the Jets.

I think the Jets could

be one of the teams that rises.

Jags, yeah.

I mean, if you I think the Jaguars are that team for me, like if it works with Liam Cohen and kind of you get this team to play well together, the one of these New York teams is not going to be this bad.

And I, I tend to think that the Jets could wind up as like the 17th best team in football.

That wouldn't surprise me.

The path to the Jets, like, sneak in around nine wins or so, is the defense getting back to a top 10 unit with Aaron Glenn replacing Robert Sala, and

then Fields playing at a

league average level and making their offense not be hideous.

If they could just have like a okay offense and a good defense, they're going to be potentially in

the wild card graphic in the hunt.

I feel like as a Jets fan, that's my ceiling for where I think this team can get.

But, you know, they also have to be, I mean, they have to show it too.

They have to show it that they're not one of the worst teams in the league, which they've been for several years now.

I would say, are we a little surprised?

I think Panthers fit there too because they closed the season as a different type of team.

But are we a little surprised that Connor put the G-Men down at 27?

I feel like we've been getting a lot of,

you know, some

vibrant and positive PR Giants-wise, and then you've buried them as a top or bottom five team.

That's a great call.

That is a great call, Mark, because all we hear from ore is like how incredible the Giants are and how this guy, Russell Wilson, it's still 2018 in Connor Orland and he's going to start 17 games and

they got all these skill players and he likes that Brian Dable's still there.

And yet, if this is who the Giants are in reality, like the whole thing isn't working.

Connor.

The whole thing's busted still.

You're putting me in an uncomfortable spot here because I wanted to talk about the Colts,

and we can get to that.

But I think that I've said this from the beginning, and I actually think said this on the Giants' own radio network, which I'm sure they're not thrilled about.

But if you won like six games this year, but in December, you weren't getting blown out at halftime, I think that that should constitute a successful season.

They have the hardest schedule in the NFL, and it's not even close.

And so, I think you're also kind of grading that on a curve.

I never said this is going to be a playoff team, but I do think they're going to sit Jackson Dart for a while.

I think that's part of the long-term plan there.

And I think Russ is going to start a lot of games.

But then the coach is fired if you only win six games, right?

No.

Not necessarily.

I mean, I like David, but I'm just saying, like, I have much patience, you know?

I'm a little bit annoyed by how well-reasoned Connor's response was there.

Right.

Well, their schedule is absolutely like a modern day of Vietnam.

You want me to piss you off?

Yeah, go ahead.

I think that the Colts are going to win the division this year.

And if I didn't already blow up Justin's shit and make him make two drastic changes right before taping, I was going to move the Colts up to 20, but I decided not to.

Justin made all the graphics, and then I texted him privately, and I was like, can you move the Seahawks up to 12?

I feel like we heard about that.

I feel like Justin probably

gave him a couple extra hours of pre-production work, and that wasn't right.

But you really stuck it to him.

No, I wasn't really going to stick it to Justin.

I had it in my heart.

I just had to get it out there.

Counterpoint: the Colts will lose the division, says the biased Titans fan.

That's all I've got.

I'm not even going to argue it.

I'm just not even going to be in the top three in that definition.

Is that even a counterpoint?

I don't know if that's the definition of a counterpoint.

I have a burning question in this division, but I want to save that because I feel like burning questions feels like a good segment for the next couple of weeks.

But all right, yeah, that south feels

wide-ass open.

By the way, the over-under

in

various betting lands for the New York Giants is five and a half wins.

If your life was on the line, Connor, literally,

your chances of survival and

being at the weddings of all your children

and becoming a grandfather and watching your growing old with your wife and

all the volunteer work you do in and around your town and at the church, and just being and driving that TNC as the sun is coming down, and it's got that golden sunset on the Jersey shore, and

all that's on the line.

Five and a half, you got to have it right, Giants.

All right, let's go through it.

Washington week one is an L.

At Cowboys, week two, probably.

You have 10 seconds.

Two.

Three.

This is the happiest day of my life, but I just wish dad was here.

F it over.

Let's go.

I believe.

I believe.

Let's go.

I've lived long enough.

Who cares?

In pilgrim times, I'd be dead by now and all my kids would be married.

Doesn't matter.

Let's go.

I feel like this is turning into the Matt Damon getting bumped from Kimmel, but we're going to have to have the Netflix quarterbacks conversation another time.

Right.

I think we'd have it in maybe December or early January or the week between the Super Bowl, you know.

And I believe I teased a Happy Gilmore 2 review as well.

It's coming.

That's all I can say.

You have another weekend to check it out because it's going to be spoiler alerts galore for

quarterbacks and Gilmore.

By the way, I I literally used up a large portion of my

day to watch that movie to be part of that conversation.

So, you know,

he's smarting.

He's smarting over that one.

If it makes you feel better, what you would have done with that time,

not a big loss, ultimately.

Says you.

Just the theory.

All right, that's it.

Hey, thanks everybody for their patience.

Getting up a day late.

We hope that won't happen again.

We will have a new Friday fun show up on the Patreon a little bit later than usual, but it'll be there for you this weekend.

So make sure you check that out.

Thank you to everybody for your support.

And remember to do what you must.

Heat the call.

Nationwide is so much more than a great insurance company.

They're one of America's largest financial services companies.

Like, how I'm more than Saquon Barkley, the NFL's reigning leading rusher, I'm also the NFL's leading husher.

Hush up back there.

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Well, almost.

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Nationwide Investment Services Corporation member Finn Rick, Columbus, Ohio.