The Spark That Died Inside Them

Here Comes the Guillotine contains offensive language, mature content, and adult themes.

It is not suitable for a younger audience.

This will frighten you.

Mouse in my room last night.

What the fuck?

Mouse in my room.

A mouse?

A A mouse?

Not a rat?

Mouse.

A cousin to the rat.

The smaller, friendlier.

And I chased him.

Wait, where?

Where is he staying?

Is there a hole?

Dude, I couldn't believe this.

I went, right.

Okay, he's went under there.

I'm going to go a hallway, open the front door, get the attachment to my Henry Hoover that makes it longer.

Crack where he's hiding.

He'll run out from behind the mirror.

I have a mirror on the ground.

That'll run it and he'll run out into the close and it'll be somebody else's problem it'll be the problem of the the intercom system whoever's in charge whoever's trying to get in the building can have a rat run past him or whatever a wee mouse or something but as i'd done that i went to open the door he ran the opposite direction ran under my bed and then for some reason in my house i'm you know i'm renting this place

there's like a hole in the wall that's deliberately put there and then there's like a kind of movable slat that goes from side to side on a swivel.

And he just jumped in there.

And

I went, I've heard movements in the wall, and I just assumed that's my mind playing tricks.

I mean, some kind of Edgar Allan Poe type thing.

I'm going mental.

Your landlord's installed a rat flim.

Yeah.

And I went, okay, well, I don't.

I just went, okay, I'll sell it up.

So I got some masking tape and I've kind of sealed them in there.

Because I'm assuming there's other exits and stuff, you know.

So your walls are alive with vermin.

Yeah.

And you've responded with cellotape.

Yeah.

Well masking tape is slightly stronger.

I mean a they can chew through that.

Right.

But here's the thing.

That's what my girlfriend said.

Here's the thing.

It's like the slat you can't chew through it because the slat's wooden on a swivel and I've sellotape the slat shut.

So it's not like it's just cellotape and then a mouse.

It's like it's like wood held in place by

layered upon layer upon layer of manskin tape.

The best case scenario is you've fretzled

a variety of vermin

that are going to breed and when they reach like

critical mass will explode out of your walls.

I travel a lot so hopefully it's when I'm not

I could just come home.

I can't believe you're

nonchalance about this hideous situation.

I'm vermin myself, you you know.

Maybe it's a self-esteem thing.

I seen him and I got a bit of a fright.

Would you not get someone in to put poison down?

You should go and take your landlord, and your landlord should get a fucking pest control guy to come around.

Potentially.

And then just you have a poisonous wall, a poisonous slat.

I'm thinking about opening this slat, but I'm so sure.

Here's the thing.

Should they be putting poison on my wall?

Yes.

I'm kind of worried.

I think that there's other exits to this

or if there aren't, they can just shoot one.

Yeah.

But I think that like

if I open this slat to put the poison in, it's going to burst out and jump on my face and start eating my face, which is an issue.

But if I just keep them in there, kind of ostrich type situation.

Or an emu.

What one is it?

Ostriches?

Have the head and sand?

Yeah.

It'll be like that.

Where I'm just, as long as you're just in there doing your thing and I'm out here doing my thing, we can both coexist in this space.

I would definitely be looking at my old rental contract here if I'm essentially flatmate to a racking.

Yeah, it's a spacious flat.

I think that if I was in luck.

Certainly if you're prepared to live in the walls.

Yeah.

I just I used to have a mouse in my flat when I lived in another place and it lived under the fridge and he would wake up in the middle of the night and go about And I'd be up because I'm a bit of a nocturnal pest myself, playing Elden Ring, etc.

And I'd look over and we'd exchange a glance and I'd say,

one mouse and a whole bunch of mice is a different thing.

That's it, really, isn't it?

I'm worried that it was like what I was in the park recently, and there's an infestation in the West End of rats.

Like the whole West End of Glasgow is

overflowing with rats.

Can I hit out with what I think this is all about?

Individualism.

Do you

the west end is overrun with rats because people all have their own bins they don't cooperate they stick their fucking bins out in the wrong day

they're all guns and what they really need is to reorganize things so that they have bin hubs i mean like they've done in fucking pot shields and stuff like that okay um and you you want to have everything managed more closely and they can cooperate because of their hideous west end individualism Because of their, as you said, I'm a way a lot anyway.

I'm off skiing.

What do I care?

The fucking area is pulled to pieces by fucking rats.

Yeah.

And as I've said to you a few times now, we need a system of rat sheriffs.

Glasgow local rat sheriffs, the governorial rat sheriff, the Hindland rat sheriff and so on.

Yeah, they have a kind of stovepipe hat.

They have a shilleli and they have two Patterdale Terriers.

And you see them coming down the road and you go, that's the rat sheriff.

And they tear these things apart, screaming in the fucking streets.

And

you know, it civilizes the other ones.

It's just one of these things where everybody wants to be TikTok famous, and nobody wants to be a rat sheriff.

And it's like, do you know what?

You could be both.

You could have

your account of glorious rat assassinations,

and maybe if you have a kind of Gredo-esque cheery charisma to you,

Gredo Gredo would be a fine rat sheriff.

And Judith.

Judith could be like a West Endlin and Gredo would be like Ayrshire or something like that.

Yeah, he's from Stevenson.

Well, he would be a fine

local nominee.

And then you spin it out into a fucking reality show.

The rat sheriffs of Glasgow and Greater than Bartonshire or something like that.

Do you know what I mean?

I've been watching some of that stuff.

Mormon housewives, real housewives of sales.

Real

it's pretty wild because like you know and she's trying to make a tv show right so you're just on some level when they're doing the research they're trying to find nutters doesn't matter what the x factor or whatever and you know you say something a bit unconventional in an interview and they're like oh yes keep a straight face well we'll get you back you know and like if you're in america

and all the people you're interviewing are fucking Mormons, I mean, it's just like you can go really really big.

So it's like this woman on Real Housewives with Salt Lake City, and she's like a preacher, and she's they're all super rich, and she has a kind of,

I guess, a podcast, and it looks a bit like R FM, but it's all about God, right?

And then in the fucking preamble to one of the episodes, this goes, um, whoever she's called, Cheryl is accused of running a cult.

It's still like her co-host from the pod, and he's going, Has she told me she's God?

Yes,

wow, yeah, you can go a lot bigger because I remember I was reading that John Rohnson book about psychopath test, and there's a bit in that about reality TV and how the producers literally go through what medication you're on, and if they have to kind of find the balance, because if it's like serious antipsychotics, it's like you might be a bit much to handle, but you want to kind of get to who's mental enough to be interesting, but they won't commit ritualistic murder-suicide.

That's kind of how I feel, Dayton.

You know?

Just trying to find that happy middle.

Yeah, I don't want to die, but I don't want to be bored.

That's really all, but I still hope my issues.

You're not going to Lana Del Rey?

No, I'm not going to

Rana del Rey.

Nearly called her there.

It's kind of Scooby-Doo stern.

Rana Del Rey?

Rana Rey Rey.

I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you kids.

Lanadel Ray was a skipper to film.

That was chillingly authentic.

My girlfriend's coming up, she's moving up and we're going to Lanadel Ray's.

First night she's here.

I don't know if this was covered in the podcast, if this was a lunchtime chat, but you're planning on wearing a white linen suit.

I had been planning on losing some weight and

buying a white linen suit.

I haven't really lost that weight.

And hence, Power Man has been drafted in.

And

I would just be wearing a my more conventional suit, I suppose.

Okay.

All I would say is Percival does some absolutely cracking linen suits and the white.

That's all I'll say.

Percival's not the linen suit.

You get in the back handy office?

I can't imagine they give you a hanky.

They give me a cravat.

They give me a silk cravat in the style of Soho Scarves, which is a Soho scarf shop that I've seen Bill Nye come out of once.

He's always flawing about.

He's always flawing about Soho.

I'm actually fed up seeing Bill Nye and Soho when I'm in Soho.

I'm like, right, there is again, Jesus.

What do you do?

What do you do, Bill?

Famous man.

Just in Soho.

Was he not shagging Anna Winter?

Yeah, he's doing a lot of cool stuff.

Pathetically, Bill, you handsome octogenarian shagger.

No, I'm not going to go to Atlanta.

I don't know.

It's just big gigs like that make me feel very

see when you're in a crowd.

You're about to say small and then you realized you are small.

Well, I am small.

But they make me feel spiritually small.

And they make me kind of lose faith in humanity sometimes when I go to big events like that.

And people stop seeing you as a person when you're in a crowd that big.

Do you know what I mean?

I do think, though, Christopher, sometimes...

I mean, I'm

an absolute misanthrope.

I'm not an absolute misanthrope, actually, but I'm a grumpy prick in a crowd.

But

you are like a little dolphin or something like that.

A doaufin?

Yeah.

Dauphin wa potato?

Like

the slightest kind of disturbance really destroys your equilibrium.

Do you know what I mean?

Someone's smoking like four rows away.

They weren't.

That woman wasn't four rows away from me.

She was right in front of me and she was blowing smoke up my nose.

She could individually blow and smoke up both nostrils separately if she wanted, and that's not a sexual thing for me.

But she

was,

and you can't say I'm a, I don't know what the word Dauphin means, right?

But

French Prince, right?

I'm a Dauphin, but her bzo beezo, but her fucking boyfriend tripped over her bag and went face first into my dick.

So this isn't French prince.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm not taking a specific thing, I was doing a general thing.

Oh, I thought we were talking about that specific

concert we were at, which was read by those two people friendly and we had to leave.

Sorry.

But

you've angrily rejected that mild criticism.

That's fine.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I just.

I'm sensitive and I don't like, you know, I know exactly what would happen if I went to Hampton Park to see Lana Del Rey.

I would enjoy.

Mobbed by the fans for a star.

Because she's got a very broad demographic.

yeah it's when i was a weak guy lana del rae came out and she was a pitchfork uh darling she had video games that song playing video games and she was like just for cool people then summertime sadness came out she was collaborating with asap rocky

and she became a genuine pop star and she became mega mega famous and now

She's doing that thing where she's an artist and she's putting out poetry books and she was

she's like, not on the downward slide, but she's just cultivating

a great body of work, and she's a genuine pop star.

And I just don't think I want to spend time with

her audience.

You know, I don't want to be in her audience.

I don't like to be part of a big crowd.

Have I said anything?

You've revealed a startling homophobia.

That was the subtext.

It's going to be 50% today, is what you're saying.

I don't think it will be.

It will be a good idea.

It will just be a cloud of fucking twink vape.

Above handing like a fucking missile strike.

It will be selfish, heterosexual women there.

It's already other kind.

And what I mean by that is women and people, who's people really, who vape

and don't care where the smoke goes

and their boyfriends who don't want to be there and want to get steaming with neck tattoos I'd imagine.

There'll be all sorts of folk there and I don't want it I d I d I don't enjoy you know I like I don't I don't think I would enjoy it.

She's a great artist.

But I think there's I think

life performance and the Beatles had the right idea when they said we're not doing this anymore.

And then we'll fall out of each other let's beat each other.

but they just went, Do you know?

I'm not really enjoying live performance because touring is hell, and people are just screaming at us, and we can't even hear each other play music, so we're not into it.

And I think a lot of performers, maybe not in the kind of punk space, but definitely hip-hop and

pop music.

If you're not going for the big Lady Gaga live show where it's like a theme park for the senses, if you're just

not expecting to talk about this, but like, if I hit

if it was Gaga, Gaga, you'd be there.

That's what I'm hearing now.

You'd be like,

I'm not home.

Hopefully try and claw back the gay pound.

The gay pound hasn't went anywhere.

And not to accuse Lana of anything.

I know she's a good Celtic supporter.

And we're a fan of her here outside of that.

But for me, I think it's a bit of a catch grab, some of these arena tours, you know.

I think if she had any kind of not self-respect, but I think if she was interested in a positive music experience, she would be playing the Royal Concert Hall

or

King's Theatre or the Playhouse or something like that.

You know, she'd be playing a beautiful Matcham Theatre.

Everybody's sitting down.

She's a Chantreuse.

Maybe there's a, you know, people in a band behind it.

Maybe a smaller ensemble.

a jazz drummer with brushes my hips yeah well not to not to compare myself to Lana Dillre but I've been known to do the odd cash grab show

and I think I'm just gonna draw a line under that now I'm never doing anywhere that has a basketball hoop again and it'd be better to not do

certainly on our last tour I was like

better just to deny it off here than do this horrible fucking thing thank you for taking me on that tour it really puts some hairs on my chest you know

like it's one thing when you're a new comedian and you're playing,

say, Turbo and Masonic Hall, which was a giga done a few times, and you're like, This is hard,

and it's kind of giving you, but to be like, you know, everybody here came for comedy and they're facing the right way,

and it's hard, the room's hard, and you need to connect with these people who have got no interest in you.

Really, I mean, it really puts hairs in your chest.

So, thank you very much.

It's good to know, you did well, and also, you know, to keep pushing out and connecting with them because not everybody does you know some people go and support people in big tours and they just go this is just not my and I just go out and I go through this thing and they don't seem very interested and you can't you can't do that I think because it becomes very miserable.

Yeah yeah

some people have a spark inside them that died a long time ago

but yeah I think

I think it was listen cash needs to be grabbed at some point

So I don't blame her.

And I think some people may, some people just don't seem to have the

mesophonia.

I don't think mesophonia is the work because I think mesophonia is like

when you don't like chewing noises.

But some people don't have it.

They have this thing where if I'm really trying to listen, I pay attention to something.

And then there's these little distractions like someone's boyfriend headbutting my cock and balls or

raspberry melon flavoured vape being being

woofed into my face.

It really detracts from the live music experience for me.

Or when I went to see the strokes and someone was going, they should be playing Scottish songs.

You know, that really took away from seeing the strokes for me.

And part of me goes, maybe I don't like live music.

Maybe I like the recorded music experiment.

Maybe I like

walking in the park listening to some music, you know.

Yeah, I don't really like live music either, to be honest.

But um and the I like it more the more it's like the record, which is like, um, probably not a great sign.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, but yeah, just it's a romantic night out, man.

And I think Susie's going.

You think so?

Yeah, I think Susie and I'm going to go.

Shout out to Susie.

Aside the Susie this episode, if you haven't noticed, if you thought she was just be quiet.

Shout out to Susie.

I don't know when I should go out, but Susie's da passed away.

And then fucking two nights later, Susie's doing a benefit for Palestine.

Cause that's who she is.

She's a trooper.

She is a trooper.

I was also at that palace department, just to say, I'm also a good person.

And who died?

Nobody died.

Sit down.

Now they will.

Because you've said that.

Now they will.

And then people will go, hey, why did you?

You just said nobody your family did.

And they did.

I go, fuck.

This is what happens when you build a bulk record.

Who knows what will happen?

If you have a large, extended Iranian family, this could be a real red face for you.

And it is.

Not going brilliantly, the Middle East.

I'm starting to think Tony Blair

stint as Middle East peace envoy

didn't go that well.

I mean, he was there for how long?

It's a solid decade he was looking at.

And he was like, right,

should work now.

That's to say the so industrial answer

at work there.

It's like someone's just fucking finished working your car and you you get in and turn the fucking key and you just go up like fucking Airy Neve.

It's like fucking Piper Alpha.

And you look out at him and you realise he's a sentient humanoid made of petrol.

He's kinda gasoline.

Screaming flame.

He's like, have you seen um Howl's Moving Castle?

Yeah.

And there's the calcifer who's voiced by Billy Crystal.

He's a kinda demon made made of fire.

He's like, hey, don't put me out.

That's kind of what Tony Blair's like.

But in a kind of petroleum-rich environment.

He's like a variety of magical

malice-based entities.

He's a malignant imp

it is just like where those people, I know we're always saying it, but it's just how do I serve power?

Yeah.

And he's like, when you saw Starmer this week, Trump dropped his papers and Starmer's scrabbling around trying to pick them up.

You're like, that's what you put in a Pixar movie for someone who's completely subservient.

It's just total

somebody who wanted to, you know,

it's like Peter Parker before he gets bit by a spider and he bumps into a girl in

the hallway of the high school and the papers go everywhere and he goes, sorry, Gwen.

Trump's very much Gwen Stacey, and that.

I hope a spider does bite Starmer.

But it's a massive one of those ones that crawls out of a fucking box of bananas.

A fucking thing the size of a fucking rugby ball.

A tarantula.

Do you know you can look at individual hairs on a spider's leg and you're like, oh, you're too big.

You know, your legs should be hairs.

And you're like, hairs, hairs.

Get real.

I trapped a massive spider a couple of weeks ago and I was really like,

this thing might be able to bite through paper.

I need to get sitting under the paper.

How did you do that?

Yeah,

which is a lot of difficulty.

Yeah, but I did.

I got it out there.

It's now who knows what size it is now, galloping about in the fucking garden.

I was in a London hotel, and it was a big spider.

It was big, but it was one of the hangs where it's like basically a kind of tangle of sentient pubes.

Do you know what I mean?

It's just big long hairs coming out.

Like, what would you call that?

Some people call it a daddy long legs.

We've had this discussion on the podcast before, I'm sure.

Oh, it's a spider.

I would call it a spider.

A big long spider, though.

Exactly.

A long-legged spider.

That's what you saw.

Daddy Longlegs floats about yearly like a kind of

Elden Ring boss.

There's one of them in my fucking bathroom last night, but the less said about that, the better.

Your fucking house is the old woman that swallowed the flyer?

Yes.

Just seething with fucking life.

I fucking...

You should do a miniature like A Attenborough show just round your house of all the stuff that's just just living and dying in you.

This is Larry, he lives in my walls.

Yes,

a horse that I ate.

You know,

chase a sheep there.

I ate as well.

You could fire cannabis smoke into this slat and try and raise the consciousness of these things, like

what's it called, Planet Apes.

This is the issue with doing edibles, is that you can't use your smoke

to

get a chocolate one for the mouse.

And who's to say it won't broaden his fucking mind?

Yeah, maybe I'll go.

Maybe I should travel, get out of here, go see what else the world has to offer that isn't a flat above a Chinese restaurant.

Doesn't film him with face in that Chinese restaurant either.

Apparently, that's just what happens when you live above or near a restaurant.

You know, like if you're near a restaurant, they'll eat the bins outside there and then they'll go, what else is going on?

And they'll go have a look.

This is a very Glasgow district council attitude, man.

It's just what happens.

Fucking rats have been.

Ah, well.

Oh, some kind of following me.

Sorry.

No, that's all right.

Take it.

No, no, no, no.

Can I eat this canola?

Can I I feel a drink?

You shouldn't eat on podcasts, we've been told.

I know so I think that we had to turn the comments off on Spotify because about half of them are complaints about eating on mic,

which seems excessive,

and it's just like

but listen, I'm a dauphin

and about live performances.

You, I would say, and I don't like criticize you in any way, but a bit of a dauphin in terms of audiences while you're performing.

Wanting them to sit still.

Want them to sit still, not shout, which is fine.

No, you don't want them to cough.

Cough.

Yeah.

Or

eat sweets.

Yeah.

These are all things I would like them to not do.

Eat fucking sweets.

I'd like them to not make a lot of noise during a fucking thing they have.

I waited to see you at the pavilion there with Billy Boy and I was in the sixth row right next to they had a few guillotine heads, guillotines,

teens built like a teenager.

And a couple of people said, hey, I love the podcast.

Excited to see this.

And then diagonal from me, night chess piece away from me, one up three along, a woman opened up a big bag of fucking minstrels.

And I went,

Frankie's gonna lose his mind.

Frankie's gonna.

Blind Boy's gonna ask him something about the IRA and he's gonna

turn into a fighter jet, a stealth jet.

He's gonna call up into the air and he's gonna pinpoint his women, and he's gonna insist.

No, it's only when they keep going for ages.

Some people do it like you remember doing those, remember those glee shows?

Yes, and they went, and I had to get them to cancel all the drinks offers because they were getting buckets of beer.

And I was I said to this guy one day, how many beers have you got?

And he was like, Eight.

She'd hear them rustle and

the ice move in the bucket.

Well, the issue is the drinks come out in a big cold bucket, keep them cold because there's like eight of them.

And you're supposed to share them with someone.

You're not supposed to have eight beers to yourself.

This guy's doing it wrong.

But I would argue it was an hour-long topical new material show.

Yeah.

And so I'm standing there going, so talk of leaving the European Convention on Human Rights this week as you're rummaging for your fifth beer.

And when the beer makes a sound against the ice and then the ice and also the beer hits off the the metal tub on the way out so it's like a gong it's like someone's experimenting or practicing eastern percussion yeah non-tycho eastern percussion mid political comedy can be distracting for you and for the audience so i get it but

someone got thrown out pissed every night and the show started at half past five and lasted for an hour.

One time, this woman got thrown out and she tripped over, and there's like a metal disability ramp to get in one corner, and her face just hit the fucking thing like a gong.

Yeah, and it was just bust her nose.

So, another night, it was like this guy couldn't really quite work out what was going on, but perhaps it was a perhaps it was a May to December homosexual relationship, but an older gentleman who seemed quite chaotic and a young, very chaotic man.

And they got into a kind of row with the bouncer.

And the bouncer was quite a lively fellow himself.

The good line in Blood Meridian, where someone just goes to the cat, he goes, have you had counter with the Aborigine yet?

By which he means Native Americans.

And he goes, no, no, I haven't, sir.

And he goes, I think you'll find him right lively.

These people, you're genocide and

this bouncer was of that disposition.

And then the old guy, as the young guy kind of was subdued,

started shouting, this is now a medical emergency.

And like Ray Bradshaw was on, and I was like, trying to call him off.

You were calling him off at the curtain?

Yeah, yeah.

Through the mail.

Yeah, and this is like 5.40 at this point, right?

And I've got a bunch of jokes to do about Michael Gove.

Yeah.

And then the guy,

so they got thrown thrown out and the guy went upstairs and just punched one in security in the cinema above because then he just didn't really distinguish but it was all just a video game location.

Yeah.

And he just went and punched

a kind of usher.

If you're in the rest of jail and skydem, and then you fast travel a white run, you're not going to delineate between the different.

But then some guy that's trying to save you a fucking tango ice blast gets fucking jabbed.

He's getting a blast of his own.

own.

Yeah.

I doubt Ry Toffee Smith is giving you a blast of his own, my friend.

It was a great period, but at the same time, I'm glad not to have to break out my material about the Iran-Israel conflict

in Glasgow's club scene.

Yeah.

It made sense to me at the the time, but now looking back, that does seem almost absurd.

Yeah, but what else are you going to do?

That's what I was going to do.

You've got to try the jokes out.

Some people don't try the jokes out, you know.

And helmend them.

Helmend them.

Helmend TV as a medium.

Helmend it.

I've been watching TV.

Me too, actually.

And there's like, I really enjoyed Criminal Record, the Peter Capaldi thing.

Oh, okay.

And

I find at the moment there's just a lot of pressure on TV for people to be running around and they don't really want to give you these notes, but they're like, Could everyone be poisoned and looking for an antidote?

Could everyone be trying to diffuse a bomb at all times?

And you're just kind of like, Oh god, it's kind of exhausting.

So, everything I don't know how closely you watch, but everything runs at two minutes, two and a half minutes, occasional one, three minutes scene, an episode.

And then there's Peter Capodi thing, coming on record, just starts with six minutes of him in the car,

and it's just a character.

It's not even relevant to what happens.

He's got a a side hustle, he's a horrible Scottish cop, he's got a side hustle chauffeuring people about, and you just get, oh, that's what this character's like.

He's this horrible

Scottish,

malevolent presence almost.

And you're like, all right, I want to see what happens when this guy investigates a crime.

I'm hooked, I'm in, you know?

And

is it believable that a cop would have a second job as a chauffeur?

Is that a common sense?

Acknowledge them, do, yeah.

Loads of them have side hustles, and I guess that if you're a kind of

evil man, you kind of want Bent Cop as your chauffeur.

Well, I don't know

spoilers for this show, but if he's kind of framed someone for murder, I think

the rules on

second

jobs are as nothing to him.

Right, okay, yeah, yeah.

But also, there's like

Kush Jumbo, isn't it?

And she's really good.

And

she is like the...

He's the antagonist and she's the protagonist.

And when they first meet, it's like six and a half minutes in an office.

It's just them sitting having a kind of like passive-aggressive row.

And you're just like, yeah, that's kind of what you need to do sometimes because we need to...

care about the people and so much telly is just me watching strangers characters i don't care about run around sprint yeah kinetic motion.

They're so terrified that somebody will get bored of a scene and look at the phone, and it's like you just can't exist in opposition to that.

You just kind of have to make your own thing work.

You can't make it for the people who aren't watching.

Yeah, exactly.

You can't make it, you can't make people care about it if you're so

interested is on the people who don't care about it.

You're like, make something for people who like stuff.

What have you been watching?

White Lotus.

One and two, and I've started three.

I'm watching that with my partner.

And she's in London.

I like the way you said partner in a wild west, kind of is it how you see it?

Is it kind of like we're kind of crossed this desert together?

The friscalating dusk, yeah.

Two horseback riders, you know, moseying on pasta cactus and a sun-bleached buffalo skull.

Have we talked about this in the pod?

About that sentence in

Blood Meridian that you said.

It's mostly been Blood Meridian sentence.

There's a great bit where he gets in a cart with some everybody's been wiped out by natives and they're absolutely fucked and injured.

And him and some guy manage to somehow get far enough away that they get picked up by someone in a cart that's just going to the next town, right?

And they just fall,

injured fucked in this car under a tarp or whatever right

and then

when they get out this the first sentence is just uh starlight on a mud street and you're like that's it that's everything you need to know it's like it's a town but it's not really a town it's you know it's that oh god they're still in that they're still in that part of the world they're still not safe everything just in a few words fantastic starlight on a mud street yeah stylist in bible black.

That's right.

Fuck me.

A lot of my life has been starlight on a mud street.

Starlight on Grimsby.

The moon also shines on Grimsby.

Do you know what I mean?

Do you ever get knocked out by that?

The moon?

I get knocked out by it.

Yeah, do you ever get knocked out by it?

Starled by it.

The moon,

the stars, the constellations, they also turn above scantler.

It's the sad thing about society.

A lot of people is that they've got no interest in the moon and they'll look up and enjoy it.

It's wasted on them.

A huge observatory in Grimsby would

improve.

Improve the moon.

I think it would.

Do you know what?

I think if we could reverse the destiny of the fish population

and

add a planetarium in that city, and that would really turn things around because

it's a fish-based economy.

Looking down into the sea and up into the stars, and seeing, I think.

What are fish, if not the stars of the ocean?

Anyway, thanks so much for listening to

another episode.

I've got a YouTube special, and maybe I'll put this in a different bit if we can put this kind of plug section.

Well,

leave it here and then do another one somewhere else.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Watch my new special

Scared of Times recorded live at the Pavilion Theatre where you spoke to Blind Boy.

But I was doing stand-up there in November and I've recorded it and it's on the Some Laugh Podcasts YouTube channel

from

what

day is it today?

It's the 18th?

Yeah.

It doesn't matter for the 18th.

But basically it comes out in the 22nd of June.

So

it'll be out by the time you hear this.

That was the smoothest promo I've I've ever heard.

I don't understand.

Someone told me, like, they worked with Alan Carr on something, and they asked him, could you do a little bit of promo for this?

And he went into it and he had pizzazz.

He had like, he was clear, he knew what he was talking about.

And they said it was like watching a magician pull a tablecloth off a table.

That's because people are paying for his special.

No, this wasn't for his special, but

it was like the promo was just so slick.

because he'd worked in TV and he'd done the Frederick project and he'd done Chatty Man.

He was a real slick pro in terms of just being like, This is it, this time,

and this is what it is.

I can't even do an example,

I just my brain doesn't work like that.

But yeah, I wish I was more like Alan Karr is what I'm saying.

But don't we all don't we all

take care there?

Yeah, thanks a lot.

Okay,

hey, how you doing?

Pruduous Pruduous Andy here.

Thank you for listening to another episode of Here Comes the Guillotine with Frankie Boyle, Susie McCabe, and Christopher MacArthur Boyd.

Susie and Christopher are playing Edinburgh Fringe this summer, so if you want to head along, head to their socials for more information.

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