The First Woman Coach in the NHL: Jessica Campbell

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I love to wear makeup when I play.

Wearing makeup doesn't take away from how hard I'm going to tackle or how well I'm going to play.

And I imagine even through coaching sports, like wanting to, because I think the big thing was like, oh, here's this really attractive woman coaching a men's sport.

That's crazy.

And then you almost get doubted because, sorry, God made me hot.

Sorry, God made you hot, Jessica.

You know?

Welcome to House of Mar, away from Digital sponsored by Invisible.

We have a few house rules.

Girls are magic.

Reading is hot.

And so are you.

And make sure to subscribe to our YouTube so you can see kind of this side part thing Ajana got going on.

Almost an emo.

Dude, put it back again over your eye, like it was.

In love with an emo.

Yeah.

In love with an emo.

You're really giving it, John.

Okay, wait.

Can we come in for emo?

Can I say it?

Probably not, huh?

Isn't it?

It's like an acronym.

I don't know, guys.

She's giving alternative.

She's giving

raw.

Is it too much of a side part?

It's just like it was just really laying across your eye there.

It's new for you.

I liked it.

It's hard.

Now you're giving old Hollywood meets 2009.

Yeah.

That's cute.

It is hard with headphones to get, you know, your hair.

Like, Olivia, I think, has just her whole hair underneath her headphones.

You guys, I wanted to make my face shape look nice.

Please don't call it out.

No, it's gorgeous.

You can call something out on me.

But I feel like if I was a pop star and I was in the stood, I'd be like, I would do it like this.

So I could be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Well, you gotta have one earring.

You're so right.

Is that allowed?

You can hear yourself.

What should we call Alona out for?

You're actually looking a little glowy, Alona.

Thank you.

We can talk about whatever the frick is behind you on that desk.

Don't look over there, guys.

Don't look, guys.

Hey, blur that.

The The charger.

Sorry, I got so distracted by Adriana's hair thing.

You guys probably don't know me.

I'm pretty quiet, demure.

I don't like to post a lot or talk a lot.

But I am the middle sister, Alona.

I am the eldest daughter, another woman of mystery, Olivia Maher.

And I don't shut the f ⁇ up.

I'm Audrey Mawr.

And that's true.

Actually, I haven't told you this, Alona.

I burn my neck with a curling iron, and it looks like i got a hickey and i was getting coffee with a friend and she's like what's on your neck and i go it's a hickey and she's like no you would have told me i was like i move in silence she started cracking up she's like no no you don't i know i want to move in silence i never have a day in my life I'd say

I sometimes think like, no, I don't have to tell people about this that happened.

I one one call, one minute into our call and I have to share.

I need to be more mysterious, truly.

I think, but then the more mysterious you are and the less you say or put out into the universe, the less that can happen for you, or you get to like bond with people, or I'm like, oh, I'll be mysterious.

I don't need to talk about this on the internet, but then I'll talk about it on the internet and amazing things come from it.

You know, I said, I was like, I've never had a seafood boil on my story.

Boom, guess who went to a seafood boil that week with a friend?

You know, that can happen.

If you didn't post that, you would have been so mysterious.

I know.

You

dropped the ball on that one.

Truly.

Coming up on today's episode of House of Marr, we're talking Trap Talks, Vulnerable Leadership with the first female coach in the NHL.

And we also have a sister settle it from a young fan.

Guys, let's catch up a little bit.

What has been going on?

Alona, you're going to be playing in Canada.

You're heading north this upcoming weekend, right?

Yes, I am heading up to Ottawa to play Canada.

Give them a little go.

They are a top-notch team, a top-notch side.

I think that they're second in the world right now.

They're one of the top three, but solid squad.

We got to play them in Kansas City, you know, months ago.

So it'll be good to get another go at them and just see how we have improved, see if we can keep up.

It's also just prep for the World Cup, but they are going to give it to us.

And, you know, they, they, they have a certain level that they play at.

So I'm excited to try and see what we can do.

A lot of the girls on that team play sevens, actually, so I know a lot of them and I've met a lot of them.

But it's going to be in Ottawa.

Mom and dad are going to come.

They're going to, you know, bring their bikes with them to be able to bike around.

And they love going to games around there.

So I'm excited to see, I guess, that the tickets have been selling.

So hopefully it's a good game just for viewers as well.

Will this game this upcoming weekend be streamed?

Like, can people watch it?

I had hoped so.

Well, keep an eye out on our socials at House of Mar on all platforms to find out where it will be streamed, how to watch, and all that over the next week before Alona plays this weekend.

Because you're going going to want to check it out.

Yeah, you're going to want to tune in.

It should be exciting.

Yeah, there's a great player on there.

A player that I really admire, Sophie DeGood,

amazing player, kind of like shaped like me, tall and really, really powerful.

She actually tore her ACL before the Olympics when we were at camp together in Chula Vista.

They came down to play us.

And I remember watching that and getting like, I was so sad about it.

But she's coming back now.

And this, I think, be her like.

third game back or so.

So she's ready for the World Cup.

She's one of the best players in the world.

Some great players like Christy Skurfield on the wing and Liv Apps at nine.

So it is like going to be some solid talent.

And they, Canada, were the silver medalists in Paris as well for sevens.

And is Dagude, is she the rugby Nepo baby?

Talented, talented, though.

Is that her?

She is, yeah.

Sophie's parents both played for Canada.

And so she just comes from a rugby family, immensely talented,

tried her hand at sevens and also was great there.

So what does on the wing mean for people who don't know?

It's just a position in rugby.

It's usually the person who's on the outside kind of by like

the out of bounds line, what you'd call it.

And usually your faster people, your steppy people.

So like Porsche Woodman is a wing.

I played wing when I was at Bears.

So it's just another position, which is so confusing.

There's so many positions in rugby.

I can't get into it all.

Nor does she want to.

Fun fact about rugby positions is that the number in your jersey correlates to the position that you're playing at the start of the match, right?

Yeah.

So you can tell that person is

whatever position because they've got the number 13 on their back, right?

Yeah.

For you.

Gotcha.

Yes.

So in rugby, it's like it goes one to 15.

One is a tight head prop.

Two is a hooker.

Three is a loose head prop.

Four and five are your second rows or locks.

You have seven, six, and seven as your flankers and eight, who's just called an eight man.

Couldn't think of a crafty name on that.

Then you go to a nine who's a scrum half.

Your ten is your fly half.

And whenever I explain rugby to people, I kind of call like your 10 or nine, like they're the quarterbacks in a way.

They're kind of leading play.

And then

12 and 13 are centers, which is what I play 13 outside center.

11.

Sorry, there's so many numbers, guys.

We need those math graphics over the page.

Yeah.

11 and 14 are wings, and then 15 is a fullback.

And so there's just a lot happening.

So it's kind of cool that our sport does that, that numbers are also positions, but then it's also tough because like you don't have a number that's your own.

Like you, you hope to get that.

I hope to get that 13 jersey when we play Canada, but I don't know if I will, if I could get like the 23 jersey, you know, for a sub.

Right, right, right.

Now, what do you think Adriana and I would be?

Where would we be at?

What would our positions in rugby be?

Adriana would be a lock, no doubt.

You both actually would be locks, honestly.

Why?

that means you both would be four and five they're taller they're powerful i don't remember either of you being the fastest huh

now that hurts i one time won the relay race

that's because and it was a team of throwers and we still for a team of throwers you're fast okay cool i'll show you speed I'm gonna go right on my block and record it.

Right, okay.

No, I think you two would both be be

locks.

I never thought I would be the same position as Adriana.

I just think, I feel like we've got different skill sets.

You could maybe...

I see myself as, what's it, the fly half?

The cool hot girl that kicks the ball.

Yes, that could be you.

Yeah.

Cool.

I'll take that one.

Right.

Perfect.

Easy.

Alona, if we all line up, all three of us, and we do a race, obviously you're winning.

By how much?

Obviously, why is that obvious?

Olivia, you went on one jog the other day and yes, and then you said, my knees hurt.

That has nothing to do with speed, though.

That's got nothing to do with speed in the moment.

I could take off of the clip if I needed to.

Do you think you could beat me genuinely, Olivia?

Yes.

No, you don't genuinely believe that.

You don't genuinely believe that you'd forget.

Maybe we need to test it.

Maybe we need to go to a field.

I need to have things on.

I don't like to test people in like sprint, like sprints like that because you have it warmed up properly and you're going to pull a hammy if you don't spray it.

Let's get warmed up.

I will warm up.

Let's get it.

Obviously, I'm faster than everybody on this call right now.

Even the producers and the camera guys, I'm faster than everybody on this call.

Okay, probably stronger too, if I'm being honest.

I mean, there's footage of me kicking butt in Greece when we were at the birthplace of the Olympics.

Miss False Start over there?

I don't think that's what happened.

Right.

Well, okay.

So I think we could have some locks or we could have maybe a fly half, maybe flanks.

I just haven't seen you guys actually be athletic in a couple of years.

Okay.

I'm done with this conversation.

I am catching strays left and right.

The next time

you see Adriana and I, we are like bulks the fuck up.

We are like, we are so athletic.

All right, let's touch some grass.

It's so easy to take life a little too seriously.

We got to disconnect to reconnect.

You know what I'm saying?

Let's ground ourselves.

Let's touch some grass.

Let's talk about trap talks.

Have you guys heard this?

Trap talks.

Trap talks.

Botox

or your trap.

Yeah, I have heard of that.

Yeah,

so like, what does it do?

Does it like relax them or something?

Does it make them go away?

I actually don't actually know what Botox does.

I'm not positive either.

Nurse?

Nurse?

Yeah, nurse.

Doesn't it like freeze your muscles?

So So you're not using it.

So you're kind of like degrading the muscle.

I heard Trap Talks released.

Why are we, is it Trap Talks?

Are you making that up?

It's Trap Botox.

Yeah, but people have tried, like, haven't they?

They call it Trap Talks.

Do they not?

No, I don't know.

Because to me, Trap Talks could also be in the Trap in like where you sell your drugs.

And you're making a TikTok in it.

It's a Trap Talk.

So that's why I got confused.

All right.

Maybe I heard on TikTok they were shortening it to that.

Trap Talks.

They probably are.

It is probably Trap Talks.

Trap Botox.

Botox.

Actually, it's the full name.

What's the full muscle name?

Trapezius?

Trapezius.

Trapezius Botox.

So I have seen the girls who get it, and then their traps really decrease.

Because I mean, I'll show you now.

Yeah, get it.

I got

it.

That's my trap, everyone.

You guys should watch this on YouTube if you want to see some real trap action.

Everyone get your traps out.

You can see my traps on me.

These are my traps here.

Everybody, let's see.

So I have

like a trap.

I don't, I don't actually know.

I'm very trap dominant.

Always have been.

I do a lot with my traps.

I have some really nice traps.

But there also means it pulls everything.

So I actually, when I sit, I sit actually kind of hunched because everything's pulling.

And like my trainers and doctors have told me that.

So I kind of pull like this.

What are they pulling, though?

I don't get that.

It's just, it's so strong.

I don't know.

This is just what they told me.

Maybe I'm hyping myself up.

It's just very strong and it's very tight.

So it's like pulling kind of my things everything down because it's just like really tight so maybe i should get trap botox no no

i'm just kidding i'm just kidding but i do want to say trap trapezia's final boss would be uh taylor lautner in uh new moon once he gets beefed up his traps are crazy final boss But isn't that also Casey, whatever, isn't it?

Casey Frey?

Oh, remember his videos.

Oh, because isn't he like you can flex him weird and make him go out?

I don't think I have that agility in my muscle.

But I just can't stand this trend.

It's called like the 90-degrees shoulders, and they want them like flat.

And people always use

Jenny from Black Pink because she is very just straight.

And they're like, I want to look like that.

Like, collar bones out.

Oh, is there no muscle?

90-degree angle from your neck because it's just

like not me.

Not Alona.

Couldn't be Alona.

Not could be Alona.

But I just, I can't imagine potentially like permanently harming your muscles, your strength, what you need to get like by every day for just looks.

I've never looked at someone and be like,

you got big traps.

Ew.

I've never looked at it.

If you're doing it for looks, I think it is wrong.

But if you're doing it because you genuinely are like feeling neck pain and because you can feel some neck pain with your traps being too tight, if you're doing it for that, I can understand it.

But that scares me that there's a a shot you can take to decrease your powerful gorgeous traps you'd have to if i did do it i'm not going to do it if i did do it i'd have to go in for like so many treatments to do that

yeah we need another syringe yeah god these are thick oh give me another

i can only imagine that's so stupid that's what i'm saying

same thing with like masseter botox that's this right here right they inject the botox here to people do it for aesthetic purposes, like to slim the face, right?

But also for people that have like locked jaw, bad TMJ,

grind their teeth, they're too super like at night.

And so, like, see, for those same thing, for those reasons, you're in pain, you are, your jaw is not well for sure.

But the people that do it for like aesthetic purposes, I've seen them like do it.

And then they're like, I can't really use a straw.

I can't, like, or not, not straw.

Sorry, it's not straw.

They can't like use, chew well.

Like, they don't have as much muscle to like chew properly with their like molars and whatnot i'm like gosh

oh you guys such a risk damn

while we're just talking about procedures i'm scared of lasic i've got a bad eyesight and people are like are you gonna get lasic

no

i have i've seen some bad tick tocks stories on that but it also sounds cool to wake up and be able to see But I raised you this.

I talk about this all the time.

There was a panel of the top LASIC eye surgeons in the world.

They were on a panel together.

The top LASIK eye surgeons.

Every single one of them was wearing glasses.

Oh,

what's that tell you?

They wouldn't do it.

I have been, I got glasses in fifth grade.

And so I,

it's such part of my routine that like, oh, I need glasses.

I need contacts that like, it's not like a hassle.

to have to like put them on in the morning, you know, that I'm like, why would I risk like harming my eyes?

Or also, what if I get LASIK and then my eyes are going to get worse?

Then my glasses again.

I just learned about that.

It's not a forever fix.

Your eyes will still continue to age and change and get old and deteriorate.

So you could get LASIK, but a few years down the line, they will still continue their natural progression of getting worse.

So you would need it again.

Didn't our grandmother get LASIK?

Yes.

Yes.

But later on in life, maybe that'll be an option.

Later on in life, I might think exactly.

After she got her surgery, she was no longer at the level to be legally visually impaired.

But knowing our family's history of eye problems,

I'm saving potential eye surgeries for later, later on.

Like, what if I need something else?

But I already have a flap open in my eye because I wanted perfect vision in my 20s.

Don't you already complain about like floaters or something?

I got a few floaters, but like they're it's like kind of like little squigglies, and it's only when it's like really bright I can see it.

I've taken baseline photos with my ophthalmologists and stuff.

Just my eyes.

Are you not hallucinating?

No, they're always there.

I know which ones they are.

So that's a lot of opinions.

Botox on your

trapezius.

Trapezius muscle.

Your trapezius?

Famously.

Your trapezius.

I renamed it.

Um, LASIC.

Mm-hmm.

Lasidisic.

Lasidesius.

Hey, I completely forgot.

What else did we talk about?

Masset or Botox.

Just changing things for aesthetic versus like, you know, bettering yourself, bettering your life.

People be toxin for sure.

There's always pros and cons to every procedure.

You know, like, if you want to get something done,

look at it all.

Be very scared of the cons.

Make a list.

And do what's best for you.

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Okay, I get the pleasure of introducing our guests, and I love introducing guests because I get to just like watch them as I say all of the accolades they have.

They just have to sit there nodding, like, did that, did that.

Okay, so today we have Jessica Campbell.

She's the assistant coach of the Seattle Kraken, the first woman to coach an NHL team.

You've probably seen her looking gorgeous on the sidelines on all the videos when it was announced, and it was just amazing to see.

She's an extremely accomplished coach and player coaching for the German national team.

She played for the Canadian women's national team in 2014, and her team took home gold.

owns her own power skating business, JC Power Skating.

I'm not sure what power skating is.

We'll get into that.

And all-around pioneering badass.

How do we know each other?

We don't really, but you feel like you know someone

through, you know, socials.

And I feel like I know you.

Yeah, likewise.

I think it takes one to know one, and you're a badass yourself.

So super looking forward to this chat.

Appreciate it.

I mean, you've been, you've been kind of killing it.

So as I said, like, I remember seeing you, you kind of made waves by being there on the sideline with the men's team.

And everyone's like, who is this?

Who is this lady out there, you know, doing it?

And so the, you know, you've been a hockey player for a while now and have your own accolades.

And so you know the game.

And so I think it only makes sense that you're a coach.

How did that come about from player to coach?

Well, I mean, probably most athletes can understand the, you know, the transition from playing to what's next.

There's like an identity crisis moment almost when you're so deep in playing.

And I've been playing or I was playing hockey since basically the time I was walking.

So hockey has pretty much consumed my entire life for the betterment of it.

And I've loved every, every second of it.

So I transitioned right into coaching the year after I finished playing.

I found myself exploring like, what do I want to do next?

And I just loved being on the ice.

I loved teaching.

And I, I, you know, I didn't really deep.

deep dive into that as a player because you don't think about those things when you're actively playing.

But once i found myself back on the ice as a coach i'm like wait this is so much better i don't have to do the work but i could do different kind of work without the physical parts right right

and you you started playing just boys hockey which is very similar to rugby too for a lot of rugby players and especially like in new zealand and england a lot of girls start with the boys and that's how they kind of grow up because there's not oftentimes you know high-level girls teams Yeah, exactly.

I, you know, and it's a testament to how far the game has grown and women's hockey has grown because obviously now it's totally different.

But when I was a kid, we're talking like early 2000s, there was no all-girls competitive teams, or at least where I was from in small town Saskatchewan and Canada.

So my upbringing was like the typical Canadian one, born with skates on my feet, had older brothers and older sister.

We all played on boys hockey teams.

And yeah, I was often the only girl walking into the room full of boys, which, you know, full circle now, I think there's some little seeds that were planted early on from a comfortability standpoint for me that I can connect back on now.

But yeah, I found myself just, you know, checking down my own path and falling in love with the game itself.

Did you play other sports?

Our dad was always like, you know, we played basketball, feel like he's softball, or were you like hockey day one?

This is it.

I'm playing this game.

No, I was not from a family like that.

My parents were much like you're speaking to.

I played softball all summer long and we did track.

We did all the school sports that you could basically sign up for just to like

be on teams and be competitors.

We were all competitive kids.

So I tried to compete in anything that I could, single sports and team sports.

But now it's totally changed, like specialized training way too early on.

Like for me, we put our hockey, our hockey skates and our bags away for the summer and we played softball, which I'm so grateful for now because I think it helped me develop actually as a full 360 degree athlete, not just a specialized hockey player.

Yeah, I always, because I started rugby late.

I didn't start rugby until I was 17 years old because there, you know, isn't any high level around really.

So, but I felt like because I played such high level basketball, feel hockey, softball, I could take the little things from everything and like it'll help me in rugby.

So like for you with the softball, you don't think a lot of it would carry over, but there's there's things that do, whether it's decision making or hand-eye coordination, I imagine.

I was a softball pitcher myself.

What did you play?

Yeah, I was a catcher.

We would have made a great

tandem.

But yeah,

it's a hand-eye.

We got to find ourselves a bat, a ball, some gloves, and a place we can meet.

But yes, absolutely.

Like the hand-eye coordination,

all of it, running, like, it's just, there's so many different pieces that I think transferred over to even some of my hockey training.

Like being down in a squat and moving left to right, agility, like the strategy is a little bit the same.

Yeah, just maybe should have been a goalie.

I don't know.

That was my, that was my love for softball.

Goalie, like across goalies, hockey goalies sound like probably the worst position in sports.

You're just getting things flung at you at the highest of speeds and you have to stop them with your body.

I don't know about it.

Yeah, I always question the parents in the one moment they have when their kids like, buy me goalie pads or hockey gear and the parents have like that window to say like, no, watch how fast you can skate and do all this other stuff like i'm signing up for myself the stress and the anxiety to be like the last line of defense when like not all the blame's on the goalie but that's the reality plus you're getting hit with pucks all day long is your job seems crazy right now

what made you want to i guess go more to so coaching amazing as well i don't think i could be a coach personally i i've always i don't know i'm just one of those who like i just gotta play what made you want to step into men's sports and coaching that as well because i think not the easy route but it would have been like oh yeah women coach women's sports that's kind of the the the narrative on that and yet you're changing it here it's so interesting of a question i actually thank you for asking it because it's one that i haven't really answered um i actually never chose the men's game or the women's game i actually found myself teaching skating and skills to both sides and all i cared about was working with the best athletes.

So I wanted to work with the highest level.

And I was training, you know, Olympic level female athletes.

And then eventually junior pro NHL players started to come through the door.

And ultimately, I was, I was kind of carving out my teaching strategy, my voice, my style of coaching organically through that process.

And so there was never a choice.

But what I found was as I was teaching my, you know, my work and my approach, I was reaching a lot of pro men's players.

They were the ones coming through my door.

And so I just found that my style of coaching and communication was hitting with them differently.

And the opportunities that started to come my way were actually in the men's game.

And so, you know, all things transcending gender-related, I think it was my style of communication was almost a way that they were receiving me differently in a way that was bettering their

development.

And so ultimately, I just found myself continuing down

paths and opportunities that were strictly in the men's game, and there was never the choice.

And now, full circle, I think that because I'm different, I bring something different to the men's game.

And that's exactly why I got into the position.

There was never like, how do I do this?

It's about this.

It's not about that.

But there were careers, like financial careers specifically at that time, and more of them in the men's game.

So I just kept kind of following that path and the next opportunity.

What is it you find that you do a little differently?

Well, I think there's a lot of things, but because I have different experiences, because I come from a different background, playing included,

even a lot of my feminine traits shine through in my style of coaching.

But what I do differently, I think, is I communicate on a very human level.

I've morphed my coaching style into,

well, I aspire to it every day to the type of coach that i wanted that i would have really benefited from and that would have you know been someone that was very human human athlete first um just treating the person um on a level where connection and trust and the relationship is the core foundation and then finding ways to work through them to better their game as an athlete.

And obviously,

that goes into the actual tactical side and the technical side of the coaching, but really establishing strong communication and also playing more into the vulnerable side of the game.

I find, like, at least in the men's game, I bring, I think, a vulnerability that's real to them.

And so they're not afraid to have some of the harder conversations.

I always say it's kind of like you go to mom and dad for different things oftentimes.

And I go to my mom for different things.

I go to my dad for different things.

And sometimes those are harder scenarios, but I find they come to me in many ways for different

And that's, I think, what has, you know, set me apart and made my type of coaching hit with them the most.

I bet it's a refreshing take for them as well.

I was watching a boys like lacrosse camp, and it's just interesting the different communication styles I think used across the games.

I don't think one's better than the other.

I think there's just different ways to coach.

And I've had many different coaches in my days.

I've had coaches who've been, I would say, mean, you know, but I think it's all like, it's different.

And so I think even my coach for the sevens team, she cares so much.

And she, she's one of the only, was one of the only head coaches, female head coaches, and she coaches in a different way.

And I, I think that it's like, I can't say one is better.

I think that caring about your players as people and letting them be vulnerable can also help, even though it was always thought of like in sport to not be vulnerable, especially for, I imagine, NH, NHL, big old, hockey players, you know, it's like almost a trait they're maybe not told to be okay okay with.

Right.

And you just hit it on the head.

Like the two core elements to me that make for a good coach are caring and respecting the player.

Like once it's so cliche to say, but they do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.

And that care can be shown in different ways.

Like you just, you just hit on it like tough love or more sensitive style, more like soft spoken, but it doesn't matter how that care shows up.

It's about the communication that demonstrates and like the actual actions that demonstrate that care that builds the trust.

But then also the respect, like the level of respect.

And I think that's earned over time through, again, action and items where like you can have different coaches and male, female, it doesn't even matter, but how they show up and respect you is going to be hopefully different than how they show up and respect other players.

But like the standard of the excellence is still the same, right?

And so those like two elements, once they're there, you can, that's why good good coaches, great coaches never really all look the same.

They show up differently, but I think those two core pieces are

huge when it comes to the receiving end as a player.

And the coaches that figure that out the quickest are the best, in my opinion.

So you are in a lot of rooms where you are the only woman.

I spend time in rooms where I usually am the majority in my team,

on all my teams with my sisters, friends, and whatnot.

How have you, I guess, learned to carry yourself?

How have you learned to kind of earn that respect?

And what is it like now to walk into those rooms?

Well, I think the biggest thing for me is always focusing on the work and being prepared.

Like those two things are paramount to anything that you can't walk into any room and not feel a sense of discomfort if you haven't proven that you're capable to yourself and worthy of that role.

So for me, I'm always, you know, ensuring that

my work and my preparation is up to par.

But the second thing I think is very important is showing up as my authentic self.

Like I never tried to

fit a mold or

I haven't tried to stray away from myself through this process.

And that's been honestly probably the thing I'm most proud of in my journey is I've tried to remain

through

every step and every opportunity is just being just embracing my femininity never

trying to dress down or dress differently like obviously in sport we throw on our track suits our skates and other than the ponytail hanging outside out of my hat like I approach my work and my process the same as everyone else but the reality is I am different and when I walk into a room there is a moment in a space where I think I try to lean into my differences and know that that's where I can captivate attention and lean into the fact that the way I see it, the way that I present, the way that I communicate is different.

And therefore, that's what sets me apart.

And so I'm always trying to authentically embrace my differences and know that that's actually my greatest asset.

Because I think when you're part of a team and you also get this, it doesn't matter if you're in a room full of females or if you have female coaches or not.

Everybody on that team has different strengths and brings something to the table in a different role.

And so I know that by leaning into my strengths and my differences, that i'm bringing something to the table that the team needs and so i never try to shy away from that and so honestly it's like looking in the mirror every day and and and knowing that that's that's what makes me different that's the point i like what you said about like femininity and like trying to keep that with you because i think that and it's something i'm you know, battling is I love to wear makeup when I play.

And I remember there was a time when I would look at other players, like in college, a girl would wear full-face makeup and I'd be like, why is she wearing makeup?

We're about to to play rugby.

You know, what the heck?

Leave that.

And I've just so changed my view about that because it's like

wearing makeup doesn't take away from how hard I'm going to tackle or how well I'm going to play.

And I hate that I think we're changing that, but I hate that it almost was thought of that way and that, oh, well, you know, we have to leave what we, what are classic like feminine traits that make us feel so beautiful and good at the door to play sports because sports are masculine and for men.

So we got to try to assimilate as best we can.

So I think that's been something I've tried to do as well: is like, while I'm tackling people, still try to bring my femininity.

And I imagine even through coaching sports,

like wanting to, because I think the big thing was like, oh, here's this really attractive woman coaching a men's sport.

That's crazy.

And then you almost get doubted because, sorry, God made me hot.

Sorry, God made you hot, Jessica, you know, and it's almost like you're doubted for that.

So I love that you're sticking with that femininity because it's almost would be easier to be perceived more as like, no, you you know tough masculine and because people you know align that traits with leadership in many ways

you have such a tasteful way of of saying it but you know it's it's so interesting because assimilate is the best word that i've heard explain it because like when i step behind the bench even like this this year um it's hard to find female suits to be honest like there was a fashion trend where all of a sudden suits were all sold two-piece sets but like there's a dress code for my coworkers right suit tie it's pretty you know it's pretty much in this mold and for me it's like okay

how do i show up what what is the standard i'm not looking to anybody else i'm looking to the corporate world of like what do female leaders wear in business rooms but at the end of the day i think by showing up as your authentic self and and at the best empowered version of yourself it's like look good feel good play good right to your point and if you need to put on makeup before a game to show up as your most badass confident self, great, do it.

If I want to put on gold hoops and a jewelry that means something to me, that allows me to show up fully present as my strongest self.

I feel very much so over time.

I've learned this, especially through this year.

I'm giving others permission to do the same.

And that's what sport is about by showing up.

as your best self, whatever that looks like without judgment, you're you're giving permission for others to do the same, and that's just a beautiful thing.

And why hold that back?

Were you kind of like shocked when it was all out?

Everyone was going crazy about you know you coming on the team because to you, you're just doing your job, you're on you know, you're on the bench ready to coach, and everyone is you know making a big sink about it.

But did that shock you in a way, or was it like,

fuck yeah, here we go?

Locker room talk, let's go.

Um,

yes and no.

So, I've been fully entrenched in men's pro hockey now for five years.

I started it off on my own doing it myself in my own business.

When I finally got, you know, on the minor pro stage and now the national

hockey league stage, that pressure and attention grew, obviously, which is the nature of media and sport.

But there was a moment for me this year where it really, really hit.

And that was on opening night.

It was obviously our home opener, my first time behind an NHL bench regular season game, being welcomed to the Seattle community.

And they introduced our entire staff.

And when it came to my name being announced, the whole arena exploded.

Like the response from the crowd, I remember in that moment just being so shook.

And I'm getting chills because my family was there, my best friends were there.

All the people that helped me get there were there to experience it.

But it's crazy because as

loud as it was for for me inside, everything was silent.

Like I realized in that moment, holy, this is not just coaching.

This, I felt a huge sense of pressure and privilege rise in me where it's like, I have something,

you know, in this moment that's such a greater responsibility for hockey, but for sport itself.

Because in this moment right now, all eyes are on me.

And this is what redefining leadership looks like.

And I felt a huge, huge, obviously wave of gratitude to finally feel like I made it.

But at the same time, I felt, wait a minute, I'm like awakened to the fact that I'm not just coaching here.

I'm going to have to move the envelope forward and hold the door open for others.

And I'm going to have to figure that out along the way.

And I'm not going to do it perfectly.

I'm going to fail a lot, but I'm going to do as best of a job as I possibly can to make sure that I'm not the last one to do this.

I like what you said.

Like, I sometimes feel a lot of pressure, like, when I go out to play, because

almost like a trailblazer like yourself, people come to watch me play and little girls come to watch me play.

So I want to do well for them so that they're going to play.

So for you, you know, you want to do well, you want to keep coaching for them so that they can see,

you know, something to look for.

But I feel this like pressure at times.

I'm like, okay.

We got to do this.

Do you feel that being right now, like you're paving the way that you like this pressure to be successful and to be to do all this?

Because sometimes it really weighs me down 100%.

And checking it, right?

Like, first of all, that signal of the pressure is a good thing.

It means that you're doing something special and important.

And the adrenal of it, I think, the greatest athletes and coaches have learned to channel that pressure into fuel to the fire.

And you do it so tastefully because, like I said, everyone feels like they know you in a way where you're a symbol of athlete and femininity and all these awesome traits, where

it's inspiring.

And I think when you feel that pressure, but you don't show it,

it's actually so inspiring and

motivational for others that are like, wow, she's always on.

But inside, it's like this constant, like almost explosion, right?

Or volcano where you feel like you're like erupting, but you're channeling it.

And I just find it's such an unbelievable feeling to even get to experience that.

And I've had to learn and I'm still learning, much like you said, of how to channel it in ways where it doesn't like affect me negatively, but I'm learning how to put it into my work and then like check and leave the game at the rink and then find the balance I need away from the rink to like not come back to reality because I'm always in it.

I'm trying to be as present as possible, but just like own the fact that like I can cry after some games too.

And like that was like a lot too much, but, like, not being afraid to speak that into words to people that are in my support circle, especially teammates, friends, obviously, coworkers.

But I think that's the realness of actually leaning into the pressure.

We have like a great sports psych, and I always, you know, we go with the pressure as a privilege.

And the thing with the nervous is, I always, I always get nervous for any game.

It doesn't matter.

It could be an Olympic quarterfinal.

It could be just pool play against a team we've beaten 50 times.

And I've talked to my sports psych about it.

Like, to me, nerves just mean you care so much.

And, like, wanting to do a good job just means that you, you care about it.

So, I don't mind being nervous.

I like being nervous for a game, but I have to remind myself when it's, you know, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I'm like,

it's okay.

This is just something, you know, you want to do well.

You, you care about the sport.

You care about it.

If I wasn't nervous, I think that's when it'd be a little bit like, you know, you've lost your kind of hunger for it or your thirst for it.

I think the best trick or tool that I've learned through playing to now coaching, when you feel that pressure, that window,

take a second to like honor exactly all the work you just put in because then you can channel it in a way where it's like, you know what, I'm ready.

Like I'm feeling these nerves because I care.

I want to win.

I'm a competitor.

But nerves can come from a place where it's like, I have not prepared.

I'm not ready for this.

But for you, it's like, I've been here a hundred times before.

I've, I've executed on that play a million times.

Like, I'm ready.

I'm capable.

And it's just like going through that checklist mentally.

and you're like, All right, I got this.

And then immediately, it's like it's in your system.

Dang.

Thanks, Jessica.

Taking that with me.

Try it.

Let me know how it goes.

Let me go.

Do you have like a moment that like made you fall in love with hockey?

I remember my first rugby game where I stiff-armed somebody and I was like, all right, this is it.

Like, do you know that you remember it?

Yeah.

Okay.

So I was in a basement at my friend's house.

We were like eight years old.

This is like a very vivid memory for me because it was my first taste of the Olympics and 2002 Olympics with Canada.

So I was playing boys hockey.

I'm playing mini sticks, like little plastic sticks in the basement with mini nets with my friends that are all boys.

And the games were on.

And Cassie Campbell, she's now a friend, a mentor, support to me, but she was the captain of Canada at that time.

And I just remember being glued to like this little vintage TV with the, you know,

And I was like so taken by, I'm like, oh my God, like that's it.

Because obviously you could dream of playing in the National Hockey League um there was no pro women's hockey league for me to look up to so it's like I saw myself in the game at the highest level and I just remember being like I want to be the next camel to wear the maple leaf and that became my like mission in life and when I got there I remember Cassie you know she now calls me young sis or cousins along the way I just remember that was like the best compliment in the world because all I wanted to do was be her.

But that's when definitely the dream was unlocked for me was just seeing it.

And that's why I think visibility is so important.

Like we can't have enough visibility because you have no idea what visibility does when it reaches young hearts, young minds.

And that's what it was for me.

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know.

Do you still play at all?

Because I don't know if I'm playing when I'm done, rugby.

I'm thinking I'm checking out.

I have not played like a game, a pickup, you name it, dropping since literally my last professional hockey game.

And I don't think I will.

That's me too.

That's me too.

I get it.

You're on your way.

I'm not running anymore after this.

I'm not.

I don't want to get tackled.

I don't want to get anything.

And same for, I mean, both hockey, rugby, very physical games, right?

And I mean, you probably feel the same way.

At times, I'm like, I am putting my body on the line for this, for this game.

I am really giving it all to something that, and especially probably when you were playing, I imagine what wasn't making a pretty penny.

We really give it all.

We really give it all for these sports.

Right.

It's, yeah, I can't even, that, that's a whole podcast for itself is just putting your body on the line for the love of the game, but.

kudos to you.

I don't, I don't ride a bike anymore because I have like trauma of so many bike tests that I'm like, I can't get on a bike.

I'm like, I'm like locked into like VO2 stress mode and my body goes into like trauma.

That's probably something I should unpack, but I get it.

There's parts of our job we don't love that we just have to do and that's part of sport.

It's so interesting because it's like, why the heck do I do this?

And then there's those moments, you know, when you're with your teammates, like, okay,

this is it.

But then, you know, we're, we're, I'm at training camp.

It's so hot.

Just it's like 96 degrees, 100 degree humidity.

And you're out there just

like getting tackled by your teammates.

Everything's wet.

And so you're like, why the heck am I doing this?

And then it's like those little moments that you hold on to.

And I think for me, I'm trying to like look at my teammates and see, okay, we're all struggling.

It's not just me.

It's like, this is hard for everybody.

And we're in this together.

And that's why I've always been a team sport athlete.

I've never done individual sports.

I don't know what it's like.

No,

if we want to talk about pressure and stress, like that's all on you.

Yeah.

Shared accountability, teams, team sports all the way.

I love it.

I love those ladies out there.

And that was what helped me get through like a lot of Olympic pressure afterwards and whatnot:

I'm not out there on my own.

And hockey, rugby, whatever it is, there's so many moments that lead to a win.

So even though somebody might miss the tackle that leads to the other team winning, what about the other thing that happened before?

I just, I love that about sports, that you have so many people, so many different personalities that make up a team, which I imagine as a coach, you have to take into account as well.

Because I mean, there is just, but that's just so fun about it.

There's some people who are just so annoying, myself, you know, there's some people who are so down to earth, but it's like all of this cohesive unit that's creative.

And as a coach, do you like to know kind of the personalities of each of your players?

Yes.

And it's kind of like, I don't have kids, but I've heard this in parenting, or I've like learned this along the way.

Like, some of your kids are harder to love than others.

It's the same in coaching.

Like, you might be easier, hard to love.

I don't know.

I haven't coached you.

But, like, the reality is, is it can come easy and it can come hard.

But the most rewarding ones are the projects.

like that's true coaching and also the ones that are so good and you unlock like that much more and you're like wow you just had your career year like though it's it goes both ways right but the difficult ones yeah you got to really like gotta like meditate your way you're always gonna have some you're always gonna have some you just want to kick them to the side you're like i don't want to deal with it yeah we've had i've had those experiences but they do turn out rewarding at the end yeah right right um okay just I'm going to talk to you about something that I'm not sure how you feel about.

Okay.

Hockey romances.

I can't even read them.

I can't read sport romances because I'm like, that's illegal.

That shouldn't be done.

What are your thoughts on it?

TikTok loves them.

As a hockey coach, do you, what are your thoughts?

Okay, so I know nothing about them for all of the reasons you just said because I won't even,

I won't even open.

to me.

It's like when you're reading something that is captivating because for the right or wrong reasons, I'm like, uh-uh, because I find I'm in a position where I'm like, that's what creates stigma.

And then we're out here trying to break stigma and you're like, why would I even open this up for enjoyment?

I mean, like, look, I watch the Kardashians and,

you know, selling sunset and things that are just like, for me, have nothing to do with my work that are like odd pleasure, enjoyment, entertainment.

But like opening up a book like that to me seems like criminal.

Oh my gosh.

I've tried a couple.

I, as an athlete myself, I would say don't get into it.

You can't.

You will be so uncomfortable.

I have to like hear someone tell me that I'm going to become better for it from it.

If that's the case, then like I'm open.

But like, if that's not the case, no, you won't.

Nothing.

You won't.

no stay away stay away on that note i'm gonna bring my sisters in okay please do not too much on those books alona okay

now i bring in my sisters because adriana

what do you need what do you have to say i dabble I do like them, but it's because I'm not part of that world.

And like I've told Alona, there's like rugby ones and I'm like, I can't do that.

That feels like sacrilegious.

It's because I'm a step away that it's like, these authors really know how to write a romance book.

I'm like,

I'm like so cringing over here.

You love you.

I just met you, but I'm cringing.

I'm like,

it's truly that.

It's like, that's not right.

That's not how it is, guys.

And all these girls are lapping this up.

Actually, no, you're, you're exactly who I need.

I need you to go read a hockey one and then tell me about like what's in it so I'm aware.

Don't, don't do it.

But do you, are you a reader yourself?

Yeah, I love reading, Tell me.

All right, favorite book.

We love talking about books.

What's a book you're reading?

Well, I mean, right now, I'm reading all like leadership books, but Alchemist, like, gotta read The Alchemist.

Okay.

That's like this long, and it's, you'll get something out of it on the plane.

Very nice.

We're fantasy readers, but we should read more to learn.

Okay, my guilty pleasure.

When I was playing, this like actually allowed me to check out when I was like in international competition.

I would always, always read a Nicholas Sparks book.

Why?

Just for funsies?

I would come back from the rink.

Funsies, yes.

I would come back from the rink after pregame skate.

Like, I'm not kidding you, like, before gold medal, Canada versus USA, I was reading like The Longest Ride, Nicholas Sparks.

Like, well, you've seen that movie?

Yes.

You seen the movie?

It's an amazing movie.

It's a film.

I

cry my eyes out at those books, though.

So were you not like in an emotional state for all of this?

No, I think what it actually allowed me to to do was check out of my reality for, you know, into somebody else's world.

And then when I got to the rink, I was just like, here we go.

I don't know.

Cry.

Fall in love.

I'm, I don't know.

Then I just got so hyped to like go into the movie to watch this come to life and others,

you know, disappointed or not.

So yeah, Nicholas Sparks.

If there was one book you wanted to recommend to

us or art readers that is maybe a smart book, you know, maybe like, you know, an inspirational book, what are you choosing?

The monk who sold his Ferrari.

There's something for everybody in that book.

Jot that's John, Dre.

The monk who sold his Ferrari.

And if you're like really badass, read the 5 a.m.

Club.

I don't know if I'm badass.

If you're not a morning person, you are.

You are.

Okay, but if you're not a morning person, or any of you guys morning people, because I like the rive in the morning, then you have to read it because you could like, don't like start a 5 a.m.

club.

Just like move it to seven.

Like find your

find your 5 a.m.

just you'll find if you can inch out an hour of time in the morning you guys your life will change i see the thrill in it can my 5 a.m be 10 a.m like is that

yeah

depends what time you go to bed at night if that's when you start your day i want to i whenever like you know when you're jet lagged and you wake up at 6 a.m because of it i feel like i can take on the day I'm like, all these lazy people are still sleeping, not me.

I'm up working.

I'm up grinding.

And then I get on the time zone.

I'm back to waking up at nine, but I see the thrill of waking up early.

You get to taste it.

So come on, give yourself like an honest week, you guys.

Fine, I'll lock in for you.

Only

Jessica, they're not logging in.

They're not locking in.

She's like,

she's like, I'll read the romance book, though.

I'll read the hockey romance for you.

She is where she draws a line.

Well, we like to sometimes end our show with what we call a sister settle it.

So some of our listeners listeners send submissions in

with usually like sibling related or just friends, romance, anything related.

So I will read us this one prompt.

This comes to us from Brett.

Alona, I believe you actually met this young girl who this is about.

Very nice.

My daughter has started playing rugby and she loves it.

She's eight years old.

She got into rugby because she saw Alona play for the Bristol Bears.

She has been loving playing tag rugby and recently scored her first try.

But the other day at a tournament, a boy, her own teammate, told her she wasn't strong enough to play rugby, which made her incredibly sad and withdrawn from rugby.

What would you recommend to an eight-year-old girl to encourage her to play again?

I don't know.

I mean, Jessica, I think probably you'd be better to explain this.

You've played with boys.

Were you ever told you weren't strong enough to be there or not good enough to be there?

Oh, they accept you as one of their own.

I heard it all.

Yeah.

I heard it all.

If they don't know you, their opinion doesn't matter.

It's always what I've said.

If they don't know you, what you're capable of.

and you wouldn't go to them for advice, then don't care about

what they'd say.

I love that.

I'm actually listening to that too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

To the haters.

No line.

I think

that's so true.

Like, if you would not go to them for advice yourself, why

give an ounce of energy into what they think?

And that goes for the haters.

That goes for the boys that are saying you're not strong enough, fast enough, capable.

Like,

they're not in your shoes.

Yeah.

And I wonder, is this boy jealous of her?

Is she stronger and a better rugby player than him?

Oh, you know, so never listen to that either.

And to this little girl, if you are my fan, you you, I think you care about what I think of you, and just know I think you're strong, and you can come to me for advice.

And I say you keep playing rugby, so don't listen to that boy because Alona Mar says you should play rugby.

There you go, hell yeah,

we solved it, she'll be fine now.

That's our best answer yet.

Um, Jessica, thank you so much for popping on.

Honestly, it was so cool to hear from you and to learn from you.

What else?

I mean, I have more to chat about, but I also like, I want to just sit down and have a glass of wine.

We chat about, you know, shoot the shit sometime.

We'll do that.

We'll do that the other time, okay?

You don't have to tell your life story now.

But I mean, you are making, you're paving the way for so many people.

And I know all my teammates and I, just to see what you're doing, you know, it, it.

makes a space for us in rugby as well to show what is possible.

So thank you so much.

And thank you for popping into the house of Marr.

Thank you, guys.

You rock.

Thank you so much.

Thanks for coming over.

Of course.

Thanks for having me.

Thanks so much for coming over to the House of Mar Wave Original, sponsored by Visible.

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Thanks for stopping by.

Miss you already.

See ya.