Brittany Broski: Sapphic Vampires, Wood Soup & The American Lean

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I can't harmonize. We can harmonize.
No, we can't. We can harmonize.
I think we can harmonize, but we always

harmonize right now. Okay, ready?

Can you set a note and we're gonna harmonize with it?

See, we're all

again.

No,

no, see, we can't. I don't think that was right, guys.
That was horrible. Yeah.

Welcome back to House of Marr, a wave original. Kick your shoes off and help yourself to whatever's in the fridge.
You should know that we have a few house rules. Girls are magic.
Reading is hot.

And so are you. I'm the middle sister, and I just want, I didn't write this, but and I'm the center of the universe, but I didn't write that.
But

alone tomorrow. So I am, but I didn't write that.
Right. She paid them to write it.
I'm the eldest daughter, and never wrong, Olivia Marr. She, you didn't write that either, so

messed up. And I'm the baby, and this is set.
This is actually a setup. And I studied abroad.

Adriana Marr. Wow.
Okay. Well, make sure to subscribe on YouTube.
Watch and keep up with us. Our voices are lovely, but just to see our faces is really something special.
And your tight little bodies.

Hey!

I know that's right. I know that's right.
And if you already hear that lovely commentary, that is our fourth Mar sister today.

She's the supreme leader of Broski Nation. She rules with an iron fist, razor-sharp wit, and a deep knowledge of Wattpad.

She's built a full-blown media empire between the chart-topping podcast, The Broski Report, and her medieval interview show, World Court, where I have been on. I've been in the subject of the court.

Please welcome the greater self, Brittany Broski. Yes!

Married into the family. Yes,

how tall are you? here? I'm about 5'8, but in these I'm about 5'10. Well, guys!

Is that a ranking system you'll do? No, we're over 5'9.

Hey!

So you're in it today. I'm in the

leader. You came in and you're like, you guys, you got a lot of people working here because on your show,

it's you and some cameras, huh? Just happen. Yeah, my show is me and four white walls.

And it kind of helps because it's like Looney Bend vibes. Yeah.
I just need to see. Well, and I think it translates to the screen.
So it's just me,

publish. And then people are like, this is awesome.

You're the brother in Wild Thornberries.

All over the room. Right.
Is that actually easier because there's not people perceiving you? It is. Right.
It is. It's easier because I get to freak my shit.
Yeah.

But like, I also enjoy, I love this dynamic, obviously, like talking to people, but it's difficult to talk to yourself.

Unless, I don't know. I know a lot going on at people.

The commentary you've made, though, I mean, some of the TikTok edits people make of you with, like, um,

you know, and the friendship one where you're almost crying, and they make these beautiful videos

with inspirational music behind it, and they put clips of women like Alona, like winning a battle. I'm like,

oh,

and I'm like, I said that, you're so,

I thought I was just being horny for Port Friday.

Anyway, she is wise. But for one minute of that 45, you get really deep with women.
And is that you on like coffee or an energy drink, or that's just that's you. I wish I could say it's it's me

accelerated, if you will. It's me off of some Red Bull.
Yeah.

And that's kind of it. I mean, I talk about I love blueberry Red Bull, and that's kind of what's, it's, they won't, they refuse to sponsor me.

Keep talking about them.

They're like, yeah, we're not going to throw money at you. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
I love you guys still. So, yeah, it's me off the bowl.

I think that some of your takes, though, are just so spectacular. You are so funny.
It also, like, sometimes people say, like, educated in your responses, the way that you view the world.

It's like the take we all need. I mean, I consider my sisters very smart as well, but I think that we really need refreshing voices like you, even at times, sometimes a little kooky.

But when you do hit it, you hit it nail on the head. Takes me a second.
I gotta get there.

What a cool progression for you. I mean, like, just the first video until now, you are truly building an empire.
It's been half accident, half on purpose. Right?

What's y'all's take on, like, I mean, this is your job now. Yeah.
Like, how weird is... She's a professional, I leave.
This is ours. This is our job.

We're on the couch. We're on the couch.

We got the couch. She's got the couch.
She's got the field. We got the couch.

We got a mic. No, we love it.
I mean, it's my dream job. I yap with my sisters.
That's my... Come on.
That's the dream. So, I mean, I love it.
It's definitely...

Been a journey, but it's the same thing where it's like, well, I don't know what this is going to look like, but I'm hoping it's this. So I'm going to put the energy into it to to like

kind of get there step by step like stud like when I studied communication in school people like what are you gonna do communicate look at me now

good one got it so yes I am we love it I mean for Alona that's been it's been totally different stratospheric I think it's similar to you in like

you know, when I did my rise to fame with Tokyo and I was posting all these videos and everyone's kind of like thinking, oh, it's a happy accident and it's a surprise.

And, oh my gosh, she's burst to fame over these, you know, years. And even after Paris, Paris, and it's like, no, I actually have to work.
I worked very hard.

And for those three years, I posted videos just like you, posting videos consistently, having to consistently come up with content. So I think that people are like, oh, are you shocked?

Are you, what do they say to me? Like, you're surprised.

Are you surprised? I'm like,

I've been putting it out there

the same. And so, like, to build this empire for you, it's also been like, they don't see it, but the grinds you've been doing for years now.
Everything short of showing my open butthole on camera.

Pretty much done. Which

next step, next step, never too late. Yeah, with finances how they are with the world, you know, why not? Always have that in your back pocket.
Oh,

stop, baby. Couldn't it easy? You were just in England.
So were you. Yeah, I know.
Dude, I was there for a bit. Thoughts on the British Empire?

Okay, I'll redress my question. Thoughts on London? I mean, massive.
A massive city.

Then we were there for the tube strike. I was there for the tube strike for a little bit.

The tube city. The chapel.

Great city.

What do y'all do when you're there? Go to a lot of restaurants. We explored like little areas like Notting Hill.
I forget the other hill.

Make sure to dress cool. Girl.
When I'm in Europe, and I guess the UK isn't Europe anymore. Right.
You guys are in the United States. On the continent.
People are on the continent.

You're on the whatever.

I always make sure. Here's something I learned that I was like, and I know you know this because you're a world traveler.

The telltale sign of being an American, and I will say it, sometimes it's embarrassing to be seen as an American when I haven't even opened my mouth, right?

Because that's pretty fucking obvious after I start talking. But graphic t-shirts

and leaning on shit. The slouch.
The slouch. The American lean.
I've been hearing about this. They're both so accurate.

And when I'm in Europe now, I start to look and I'm like, American, American, American, American. They're everywhere.
They're all around me. Why aren't they leaning over there? Why? Yeah.

Have we figured that out? What's going on? You guys need to bend your knees. Bend your knees, get comfortable against a wall.
Right. What's the, what is it?

The American lean. Like, if you're by, like, a post, a wall, we lean back on it.
But no, they're standing straight. Have we, have they thought that maybe we're just chill?

We're just chill like that? Consider this. I'm chilling.

I put my knee up a lot. You guys do that? Like against a wall?

Like, if I got a, even if there's a bench there, I'll put my knee up or put my like foot up. You're spread eagling.
Or you got a little bit.

I think that's an American thing. No, nobody's doing that.
I don't know. Might be that made this an athlete thing.
Might be an athlete. Getting blood flow going.
Yeah. Gravity.
Putting her to work.

I thought graphic tees were cool.

I agree. The craft graphic tees.
It's going to hit them in like two years. They're going to start wearing graphic tees.

We're the trendsetters. Do you ever lie about being American to get not get judged? Have you ever said you're? Because you have an amazing accent.
Amazing accents. You do.
You do. Thank you.

You have a good accent. Thank you.
I'm just like one of those parrots that mimic. Nice.
Like, that's kind of what it is. No, no, no, Cracker Barrel.
Yeah. We've never been.
You're from.

So there's, I don't believe there's any Cracker Barrel. No, we're from way up north.
What's your version of Cracker Barrel? Do you have like a a net? Like Grandy's? You don't got Grandy's? Grandys?

We don't really have that. I mean, like, we have like country restaurants because it's Vermont.
They sell maple syrup and pancakes and stuff. Sure.
That's not Cracker Barrel.

But not Cracker Barrel, no. No, like a nasty chain that's like, of course we're going.
That people love. Yeah.
Yeah. What's yours of choice? Well, we love a chilies, but that's not like nasty.

That's great.

Chili chain.

I'm sorry. Chili's queso? Oh, my God.
I heard that they took that off the menu.

They reimagined it into like a smaller thing. Now, why would they fucking

smaller? What? I don't know. Like, it was like that skillet thing, right?

Yeah, and Chili's queso is like, you're not even done eating it and you're already on the toilet. You're not like in here.

You're taking it with you.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. We had a 99 of the steakhouse.
99. Yep.
A couple of those. Steakhouse 99.
What's that? Was that?

Completely spilled everything down. Oh, man.

Get a close-up of that.

Get in there.

I mean, just

fold it over. Britney Broski wet on our set.
Anyway, y'all got Texas Roadhouse?

Oh, we did. That came in.
We have one of those, and we have the... What's the one that's under from Australia? Albac.
Albac. We got one of those.
Yeah. We got Buffalo Wild Wings.
Okay. Yeah.

We're moving up. We're moving up Burlington, Vermont.
Vermont is not known for chain. Like, there's no billboards there.
There's no nothing.

Like, we, our state capital is the only one famously without a McDonald's.

Clock shit. That's an awesome accolade, actually.

Um, I do have a genuine question.

Relationship to the Amish in Vermont. No, I don't think we have a lot.
I went to school down by the New York State border, they are over the border, so you can buy a hell of a pie.

They make a hell of a pie. Hey, and they go by and they're horse-drawn carriages, and you can buy flour from them and stuff.
That's awesome. I get.

Well, we were over in England for the Rugby World Cup, watching, playing. Do you know much about rugby?

Yes. Yeah, name one thing.

Name one thing, Alonamar.

No!

Metalist. Ever heard of her? She got us there.

Yeah, good luck next time.

Rugby. I know that you and I used to text all the time about the Spanish rugby team.
Yep.

Big fan. So we should get back into that.
There's posting so many great videos. What is it about,

like, okay,

you know how ballet dancers,

their muscles are psychotic, but they're very lean.

Rugby players are very muscly, but I want to know what is the purpose behind it i mean i know it's like kind of brute force and it's kind of like but it's it feels like a lot of running yeah why are we strong

yes

why are you strong it's just kind of a mixture of things so it's like it's like soccer in a way that you have to run so much you have to be fit but then you have to be able to take hits and give hits so that means like you know muscle fat are padding on your bones are going to give you that protection so we have to be strong enough to to tackle somebody to the ground to lift somebody up.

So there's many a reason, but we're kind of one of those that bridge where you have to be both fit and really strong. What's the most important muscle for a rugby player? Hamstrings?

I would say hamstrings are great for speed. Okay.

And, you know, you got to be able to run distances. You need to have good hamstrings on you.
Not saying I have good hamstrings, but. Can you get a tight hamstring? I have extremely tight hamstrings.

Tight little body. And I need to, yeah.
Told you.

Do a little Pilates soon.

But

that's a good muscle. I don't know if I've ever been asked that question about which muscle is the most important.
I feel like the second is the heart, you know, and the dedication. Third brain.
No.

You need to be dumb as rocks, actually. It's all important.

I guess. Good to have biceps.

Right. Quads, I guess.
I don't know. It's your whole body.
It's a whole body sport. That's what's best special about it.
Like swimming. Swimming your whole muscle.
That's so true. Yeah, I guess so.

That's what they say. If you want to work out, every muscle goes without.
Yeah, that's okay. Yes, we're similar in that way, as we use our whole bodies.
You cooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You cooked from a time.

Spoke enough today, actually.

What were you doing over there? I was filming a Royal Court episode that is soon to be released.

It's fucking gag.

Really? I can't remember what the guests, but it was the first time we've ever gone abroad to film. And it was nuts.

Like, we had this company totally construct the set and do everything, and so we did that. And then I was also in London recently for uh Reading and Leeds, the music festival.
Yep, yep, I did that.

Uh, Mrs. Chappell, yes,

Hosier, just saw them. Well, I did a little thing on a stage there.
Sometimes, festivals like that will book me just to be like, What's up, you guys?

Like, on a little box stage, and then I get to go to the festival, so it was cool. Um, but that's British festivals, dude.

Yeah, but tell me, I thought, like, because I grew up going to ACL in Texas, which is kind of like Lollapalooza in Chicago. Like, usually it's the same headliners because they go straight from Austin.

They fly up north to Chicago. That to me is like, you're 16, you're drunk, you're there with your crush.
You're like, oh my God, it's Diplo. Like that kind of thing.
Yeah.

Dude, British festivals, they, I know there's a drinking culture in the UK, of course, but like, my. God, really?

It's like belligerent. And they're all teenagers.
Did you keep up? Did you try drinking? I don't drink. I do little Eddie's

bill usually.

Okay, I hear you. And it's camping, right? Like a lot of the culture there is camping for festivals.
Which I'm like, you smell like onions. You're blackout drunk for three days straight.
I don't get.

What's the appeal? It's so muddy, too. It's muddy.
It's raining. It's cold.

Free them. Free them.
Were you in like a VIP section too? Did that happen? We just went for the day. So I went back to my crisp hotel room for a while.
I was like, amen. But are you a concert person?

I am very much a concert person. Because these two just chapel in LA.
Oh my gosh. Trixie opened.

We didn't release Trixie, but

I'm sorry. Doors Open Show started at 4:30.
She went on at 9:15. So we got there a little later.
That's a lot. That's yeah.
Blackout drunk being on, you're on a hospital stretcher every time.

And we saw all those people around us constantly during the show. She kept having to be like, Really? Yeah, here we go.
So many flashlights, medics there. Yeah.
It's crazy.

Like, it probably we saw about six of them since when we got there. There was a lot lot of cases of like people

fighting during the opener. Traxie really got him messed up.
Traxy got him going. Very polarizing, very polarizing figure.
But it was an amazing show. Oh, on shit.
Everything worked so well together.

I was blown away. That set she has is fucking gagged.

What outfit did she wear on this?

It was mermaid-themed. It was green.
It was just amazing. There were three iterations of it.
Like, she came in first with like a fishing net on it.

It was a full thing that she took off a ton layer, and it had this other.

other it was so i couldn't look away from her face like she's obviously gorgeous but i was gagged she was so the makeup makeup sat she is a performer i i was literally like watching her i couldn't believe it her mouth agate vocals i feel like when it's such a big production like that the vocals almost like you get accustomed to how good they are.

Do you know how abnormal it is to be that good of a fucking singer? Like her control,

her belts, she sings the same songs every night, doesn't lose her voice. It's just gagging.
She's a once in a lifetime. And she's worked for her voice, too.

Like, she's done the training and the work while being so musical, right? Like, that's what I've heard about her. Addicted to her.
So freaking who are y'all's pop divas individually?

I get, I mean, is it basic to be Serena Carpenter at this point? No, that makes a lot of sense.

That little girl is not, sorry, she's a woman.

Sabrina,

sorry. That woman, she's a little slutty on those albums, and I'm like,

I love it. Tears every time.
Down my heart. Tears, dude.
Tears down my thigh. Poetry.
Oh, my gosh.

She's really saying it. Would she be allowed on your show? Because

she's short. Well, she's like, she'd wear like a little stool.
Sabrina, we'll let her on. A little break.
Mr. Seat.
He's just killing it as well. Mr.
Seat. We saw her short and sweet tour last fall.

And Alona doesn't like concerts, but she

we got to go in a very cool way in a box and all this. She's like, okay, I can get this, but she also has famously said, like, we've gone to see our,

close personal, not at all friend from Vermont, Noah Khan. We don't know him.
We just love his music.

That's your cousin, actually. Yeah,

famously.

But we went to see him and Alona was like, man, yeah, that sounds good, but it also sounds just like on his album. Like, I could listen to that in my car.

Did we ever get to see him, though? We've never seen him. We've stood outside of two of his concerts, like, and, like, listened.
Yeah, we're now, Noah and I are now cool. We've messaged before

for a while there. He didn't, he didn't know.

And I'd be like, hey, man. one Vermont icon yeah there can't be two Supremes

he claims New Hampshire a lot of the time so let him do that you can have Vermont Noah I would love to come to a show at some time and actually have a seat yeah or see you that'd be cool Noah if you're an ally to women let's get some tickets going guys yeah let's get three movies let's get four

guys four how about that

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So ladies, we're talking pop icons. You said Sabrina Carpenter.

What are we thinking? Amaiko Chappelle Andrew. I have to let you know this.
Tell me. I was listening to her in 2020.

Go ahead and say that, Queen. 2020.
Yes. Wow.
You were doing Pink Pony Club in 2020. Yeah, I was.
Wow, you're a little bit more.

I was like, guys, you got to watch these videos and people weren't there yet. No.
But I was there. She's done this a lot.
She's very good at like music.

Like she was showing us Billie Eilish way before anybody

Shut the fuck up. Who are you on right now?

Miss Adela. Adela.
Cat's eye.

Do you know Adela? I know Cat's Eye because I watched some of the show and I was like, this is neurotic. Yeah.
Like that whole concept of like psychological

torture. Psychological warfare.
Crazy. Yeah, it was.
Something's illegal in that. No, but deep respect.
Deep respect to those girls.

So this girl, Adela, she was part of the training program and she was always ranked top five of all like the dancing, singing, yada, yada, yada.

and she was the first eliminated

but she's like incredibly talented and what she's doing right now solo is like

you kind of compare it to like a gaga or like even a chapel like she is serving like looks vocals dance

like it's crazy she's she's coming okay

so

make way i love that chapel and adela who you got who you got my number one of all time is beyoncé

i think that so many of this next generation of of like

the performers, and I would, I would group chapel into this, but it's mainly like the dochis and the dojas and like Chloe and Hallie. It's like they studied under the school of Beyoncé.

And it's like the level of polish and of artistry and like of concept is just and perfection. It's just, it's unparalleled.
And I think, bitch, I saw Dochi at ACL. Oh, man.
She wasn't good.

She's the one. She's the one.

I believe it.

You showed me her early on, too. Or you were listening to Doji pretty early as well.

And yeah, and yeah. And yeah.

I was kind of on it a little bit. I actually really love female rappers.

I don't listen to male rappers, but whenever I work out or like just want to just work around my house, that's what I'll listen to.

So I'll get into it like Ken the Man and Dochi and anything like that. And put the motherfucking money in my motherfucking chest.
There you go. Exactly.

That's your manifestation in the mirror every morning. I know I said pop girly, but I'm going to say another.

I don't know if it's really pop, but like Brittany Broski, what she's doing right now. Have you heard of her?

I was just singing it before you came in. I might, that might be one of my top songs.

No, I'm like, how am I?

That's so nice, dude.

I loved it. I was listening to it constantly.

Yeah, I thought you really came out like with a good one. And speaking of concept, you had a concept for that shoot and everything.

Beautiful. Wow.
Appreciate you guys. Yeah, the whole idea there was like,

I don't know, I feel like we all kind of relate to this of being on the internet and like being pigeonholed.

And like, this sounds so fucking corny because it's been co-opted by the girl boss community. And it's just like, I resent the fuck out of that.

But the idea of a Renaissance woman at its core, of like, I'm not just one singular thing. I'm multifaceted.
I have all of these different sides.

The minute you think that you understand me, here's three new things. You know, it's like that whole concept.
I think that I needed to get something out that kind of established the baseline for that.

And an album's on the way.

So Adrian!

You got to get it out. Maybe wait till next year so it can be my next Spotify

playlist. Perfect.
Perfect. I'll make sure it's in there.

I appreciate you, girl. When did you first start singing on the apps? I was posting covers in like 2020, but it was kind of like...
Here's one. Adriana knows she's not clocking it.
Nobody wants it.

I bet you were walking. You're on my list.

Yeah, I was doing like Etta James covers and shit. It was very like, but it's always been, I grew up in the church.
That's why I was singing in the church. But I don't know.

It's always just kind of been a thing. I was a theater kid.
And then from there, it was like, the opportunities in front of me. This is something that I've always had a passion for.
Might as well.

You know what I mean? And it's not that weird transition that a lot of internet people do of like, now I'm a singer. Right.
It's like, no, I'm still doing a hundred other things.

That's just kind of on the side. So I don't know.
It's fun.

Multifaceted. I love what you said, too.
It's like you can be good at all those things because you do so many other things too.

You have so many muscles that you can be be strong, just like as a one unit, exactly.

A fucking unit of a woman, and where Renaissance woman, like where else are you taking inspiration, or where have you, where did you start that you were like, Were you ever nervous?

You're like, oh, I don't want to do that, or here's, here's what I can grab onto and go far with this. Yeah, it was kind of like, uh, I need to get this out, like, of my sister.

That was what it was, yeah. And it was the opportunity presented itself, and

I had the idea like straight away. And I work with a great producer, Luke Nikolai, who kind of we speak the same language.

And he just kind of brought it to life because I wanted it to be that like sexy. You know what I mean?

And then somebody commented, it sounds like Love Island music. And I laughed.

And I laughed. It's funny.

Cause they're right.

They're right. And if Love Island used it, that's a huge compliment.
Hello, run me my check.

Sink that shit.

Are you part of the writing process too? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fun. It's a lot.

We'll see you at ACL next year, year after that. Yeah, MCing.

What Trixie did for you guys.

Guys,

at noon. It's noon.
The sun is bright overhead. Have you performed live yet? No.

I sang one time with Orville Peck on stage. Oh,

it was fun. It was a lot of fun, but I was nervous as hell because I didn't have any ear monitors.
There was one shitty little mic on the stage, and I was just screaming.

I wouldn't say that that's real.

Go YouTube that, guys. Check it out.
Let's rack up the views.

Guys, let's run the video. Link in the description, guys.

That is so cool. Oh, my gosh.

We can sing.

We grew up Catholic.

Y'all are giving Hame a little bit. Yeah.

We give that a lot. No, you're welcome.

Who's giving the bassist that makes the faces?

I don't know. You guys.

Audreyana.

That was coming.

Awesome. Thank you.
And I like her, actually.

It was the music. I like her, too.
She throws some, you know her? She throws the wildest faces but my dad's like that's what bass players do

i'm like hey you got big ass hands like a bass player i'm not that good okay no you're dainty and feminine right yeah yeah thank you thank you all of us all of us really think if you like would you do a dance would you dance would i dance no but i i might have backup dancers yeah have you ever seen noah cyrus perform She kind of does like this sexy hip sway.

She doesn't really dance, but she's like grooving. I would do that because I'm like, wow, it's fun to watch.
Okay, that's kind of Adele, I think, too.

Or Adele is not backup dancers, but she's just there. She's just like, she's singing.
Yeah. And she's got the pyro and the ring.

She's like, what can the stage do for me? Exactly. Even her glance

for herself. Ray,

she does some dances, right?

She's awesome. Ray.

She's everything. She is so cool.
Yeah, she's got some cute little backups. They're like little ronettes, kind of like.

Aren't you guys? Those are their singers? Those are Zaygans? Yeah, aren't they backup singers? Yeah, they do. They put in work.
They put in work and they look good doing it. Shaw.

Alona, if you went on tour, I think you'd be dancing a la duo lipa du la peep style

i would love to look like that yeah

some of the outfits i'm like i could rock that the moogler air shit yeah why are you not in that yet who do we need to dm i save a lot of her outfits you do she's afraid they're called gowns

i save them for when i want to

show a little bit

that's that's really it beautiful

maybe we release the song yeah can i i can't harmonize we can harmonize no we can't harmonize. I think we can harmonize, but we always

harmonize right now. Okay, ready?

Can you set it now and we're going to harmonize with it?

See, we're all.

No.

No, see, we can't. I don't think that was right.
Guys, that was horrible. That's a little flat, guys.

Genuinely, I know.

We are good singers, but I think it's because our voices are so similar that when we sing all at once, something magical and like

chemistry and physical happens yeah my ears can't handle it that's what i'm saying that's what it is that's what it is but to us we're like we're really good

did you guys fucking hear those

olivia will be like you know we can harmonize and then we'll still sing and it's like olivia we just sang the exact same way

what are you talking about

it's not harmonizing

it's just practice with it it sounded like harmony to me it sounded well we'll be your heim yeah

you're our taylor swift we are your heim did i say haim you said no you said

you didn't say either of those, I think.

See the third option.

See, other.

Is that

Haim?

Hayam.

It's Haim. I was going to say, I feel horrible.
I said Haim. Haim.
Haim. Haim.

It's Haime.

We also have a name that is said wrong all the time. Maher.
Maher. Mar.
Mayer. Mayer.
Meyer. So we apologize.
We shouldn't be continuing that. Sorry.

Mar is German.

It is Irish.

Is it really?

Also, Arabic.

Also, I put a J in there. Some places on rugby and people will be like, Maher, Maher.
I'm like, wrong, Maher. Wrong.
Sorry. Sorry, though.
Up north there. The Caucasian.

Yeah,

Potato Europe. That's it.

Have you been to Ireland? Yeah, I have. Gorgeous place.
I love it there. I bet you do.
I love it there, too.

You love a live music and a pub?

I do. I love a Shawnos traditional singing.
That shit is... You ever seen an Irish jig?

We need to get you doing that.

In your beautiful gown. In your Dua Liba outfit doing an Irish jig.

I would pay. I would pay.
Okay, right. You know what? We have, but that was years ago.
I want to go back, have a Guinness. Yeah.
Now that we can like drink.

Try to split a G over there. You split a G ever? Can I say something just really untraditional? Guinness is not for me.
Same here. Same here.
I respect the tradition of it. All right.

I deeply respect what... Okay, it's not for me.
I'll split a G and then I won't finish it because I'm just there for the activity.

Exactly. I'm there to be a part of it.

So you're not watching House of Guinness on Netflix. Yeah, I fucking binged it.
My little one.

Hello, Danthony Boyle. What the fuck?

Anthony Boyle? 5'7, by the way. Who's Anthony Boyle? Who's Dairy Girls? By the way.
You know in Dairy Girls, the guy she likes in the parking lot who's smoking a cigarette? Yeah.

That's him, but grown up and hot.

Mustache.

I'll look him up. He's short as hell.
Jarvis, can we pull up a picture? Yeah.

How short is he? Google, show me this guy's bald.

Yeah, Google. No, actually, Lydia.
With that show, you could see his bald. Hey, we got to keep watching that.
We've only watched the pilot. This guy.

That's Joey.

Look him on the bottom left with the mustache. With the red, he's looking good.
With the red, he looks good. The red looks good.

Hey!

Okay, yep.

I'd bark. Thank you.
Thank you. I'd bark.
That's how I would say. How tall is he? 5'7.
5'7. Famously.

I might go down. I might go down for that.
Yeah, said Daya. Tom Holland.
You know? Hey, yes.

At his goals. Bream.
Bream.

And recently we just watched Caleb Heron's new comedy special, Model Comedian. Model Comedian.
Ridiculous. Goodness me.
It's like,

knowing him personally, too, it's infuriating because I'm like, no one should be that funny.

It makes me mad. Yeah.

What was the one? Well, it was a TikTok clip that went viral too where he's like, he says, like, I came out of his bisexual stop. oh, yeah.

And the whole

just like the way that you can be self-deprecated to a self-Olivia recently showed me the all-alone a double wild 15 and the double wild. She's like you.
She goes to me, do you have some time?

I was like, yeah, I guess so. And so then it's you three, you, Drew, and Caleb on a couch.
You can't barely get a story out.

Everybody's riffing a bit. It's impossible to finish a story.
Unbelievable. He gets it out.
It was like, oh my God, that's hilarious. Something so simple.
Yeah. Like,

it never gets solved. His storytelling.
It's just like, he is so talented. He's a world builder.

Really, though. Simple world.
Pizza rolls in the oven. In anti-zizers or whatever.

Oh, I love it. I literally was like, do you have some time? Because she'd seen it.
I was watching it on the plane back from England. She'd seen it.
I was getting those like

rare aesthetic videos of this story on TikTok. I was like, what's happening? Because I'm like nine hours into a flight and I'm like, you got some time? And I casted it onto our family TV.

And like, dad came in to watch

completely.

No, he is

genuinely ridiculous. He's genuinely ridiculous.
Our dad sees you and he goes, and you met her in Paris.

She texts me many times. I'm like, yeah, I'm on the other.
Okay, yeah, that's where they first met. Sure.
Because you guys met at the Olympics. That was the first meeting.
Yeah.

In Paris. Yes, it was.
My agent was extremely excited to meet you. Yeah.

My agent has a lot of the same mannerisms as you. As you're talking, I'm like, oh, Rhianna has a lot of same mannerisms.

Do you think you're kind of changing humor?

Oh,

do you see it?

Like, don't you see it? Yeah. The very stuff you do, like, I take into pop culture, it's like people.
She studied at the School of British. Yeah.
Wow.

Some of the stuff you do are really, it's seeping into our humor. I can't think about that for too long.
It freaks me out. I'm just, I'm freaking my shit.
Y'all are freaking yours.

You know what I'm saying? Just the way I love it. I don't know what you just did or say, I was like, oh, that's like something that we do and my agent does.
I love.

You know, that when we met, it literally was like, because you were, they were running, you bragging, girl, you were everywhere with it. They go, you have two minutes with her.
Yeah.

You fucking pressure.

My questions are like, hot dogs, your hamburgers.

I was so fucking nervous. And you were so nice and lovely.
And then they ran you off somewhere else. And I was like, with the wind, she's gone.
And then we did the royal court. That was good.
Oh, yes.

One of the most viewed, by the way. What was it? One of the most viewed.
mine whoa

love you girl

i can't imagine why no

just me and that hat just me and that hat it was that hat it was real good in that world you had just such great guests Wow. Oh my gosh.
I don't even know how to act right now.

You committed to the cape. The questions are awesome.
Oh yeah, the questions are great. All right, we need to stop.
The glaze off. Stop hyping her up.
Oh my gosh. She's our fourth sister now.

This is stinky. This is a new stinky sister.
We got to stop doing that. Come on.
What flavor of stinky?

You know this scene from Monsters Anger where he's he's like i got a wet garbage or hot dog whatever it is you don't understand

he grips it and he sprays it anyway

see hilarious like so weird

like so

she just bursts out with something anyway great stuff we just sit in silence what will she say next yeah dance monkey don't start stimming don't

what else is happening in pop culture benson boone's a great singer oh my god

i need him to do like um

latch song. No.
Sam Smith.

Yes.

Like that kind of like

those songs from his early career or their early career. Yeah, like Sam Smith, John Legend type.
Yes.

I'm sorry, but let's put the Moonbeam ice cream away and let's get into some Sam Smith territory. I fear that Moonbeam Ice Cream Dew by Chocolate Vince and Boone

has to stop.

It has to stop because I've seen these videos of him singing and I am completely blown away. It's like covering Adele, right? Adele Frank Sinachi.
He did my way, which is one of my favorite songs.

This guy is projecting. And he's doing all that naked, doing flips through the air.
Yeah, I don't know.

He is tucked. Yeah.

And these fucking jumpsuits. He's

moose-knuckled in the sequin jumpsuit. Muckle.

Which apparently

jumps. Apparently, it's not a backflip, though.
The gymnasts were real mad about this. What is it? It's something.
It's called something else because he's doing his whole body or something. Back tuck.

Something. Something like that.
It's cool.

Yeah. Whatever.
So Brittany will add that to her show when she goes live. Yeah, exactly.
If it's that easy. Exactly.
So Melona Iris stepping in her Dua Leapa outfit behind you. That's correct.

Two weeks of rehearsals. We're good to go.
Not even. Not even.
This needs a week.

I think Nicole Kidman is divorcing. Oh, they divorced.
And I was just, she's looking great. I just saw a picture of her.

Now,

you know, I don't get a lot. I don't get work done, but sometimes I see the facelifts these ladies are getting.
Holy smokes. Christianer.

The The Christianer one sends a chill down my skin. Yeah.

She looks 40.

She looks young. It's crazy.
Do you think at the airport, you know, when they do the face scanners,

gets rejected? Who are you?

She doesn't have your face anymore. They probably just get passports constantly.
You know, new ones when I really get a facelift.

The funniest thing I saw out of the Nicole Kidman divorce was something about a divorce lawyer needing to split up their hair straighteners between the two girls.

do we think it's a piece does keith urban have a piece no no you have a row

maybe a little maybe not keith that's another height difference relationship who's the taller one i think she's taller than him she's taller than him yeah she like she was with tom cruise as well she's like 5'10.

she was she was with tom cruise she's small

but tall see that could be me if we all just bring our heights down yeah not me i've recently been terrorizing men over six feet on a dating app so

i paid for it i decided to be able to do that and

now I have three dates set next week. Slut era.
So

slut airish means she's going to hang out with these guys, be like,

he was not funny. He wasn't really that funny.

I haven't been on a date in like

so many years.

You are bold and brave. Sorry, I'm thinking

I'm going to go in horror. She's speedrunning it.
Speedrunning.

Speedrunning and do, or do you watch RuPaul's drag race?

Who did you vote for?

Do you think women deserve rights? Like, what is all that stuff? Thoughts on gay people? Yeah.

Question? Are you an ally? Are you an ally quickly?

Do you know who Alona Marr is?

She was just talking to this one guy. Yeah.
Hilarious television. One head of time.
I'm on it. I'm on the apps and he liked me.
And I was like, oh, he's 6'5 ⁇ . Great.
Like back. Right.

And he was also like... kind of tall and beefy looking.
I was like, great.

And he messaged one of my prompts is like, together we could play chess or watch rugby because I've been watching chess all year and and I watch a lot of rugby.

And he was like, oh, I used to play rugby for 15 years and I have a game. I have like a touch game tomorrow or whatever.
And I was like, did you win? We went back and forth.

They stopped responding and I got really sad. And I was like, because he was 6'5, whatever.

But he just got back to me this morning and he was like, oh, I told him about all the games I saw. He was like, I used to know a lot of the girls, but they're retired now.

You know, I don't know many of the ones led by Ilona Maher. How did you get into rugby? And I haven't responded yet.
Because it's just Olivia on her profile. So it's just Olivia.

You can't see anything. You need to sit down while I talk about it.

You're not going to vote.

Buckle up.

Let me hold your hand while I tell you guys. Hold on to your hat.
Yeah. That gets scary, though, because it's like the whole dynamic is going to change once you tell them that.
Exactly. Yeah.

Just wait. Go for a date, date or two in.
Let him figure it out. Right.
Right. Kind of, we do look alike, but we look alike, I think enough.

The men are a little slow. They are.
And the taller you get, the less brain cells.

I have always said that. Seriously.

It's like when you get dizzy up on the top of a mountain. Right.

Less oxygen up there. Less oxygen up there.

Awesome.

So she's on it. Yeah.
She's

going to be putting it out there. Do you date? What's it like out here? Do you recommend anything in LA? Like what?

No, I don't do the apps.

I have been permanently waitlisted from Raya.

I have been banned from Tinder.

I'm also banned from Uber randomly. Okay.
No, you're not. That sucks.
Yeah. Lyft is great, though.
That was Lyft. Okay.

um on the dating apps it literally would turn because i would pay to put myself in ireland so i would be in ireland and i would be swiping through the whatever and i'm just like what am i doing what am i doing because this isn't it's not realistic to be like yeah i'm coming over there maybe maybe

like what are we doing yeah i was swiping while you were in england terrorizing poor like these these british farm boys as you should couldn't keep up with the thing what i was throwing at them bless them but like i'm like i'm not i don't live here i'm going away in two days Right.

Whatever. Reckless.
You had a really good part when you were in your mind palace space when you talked about how I'm just, I'm funnier than you.

I don't, if we could pull that up, it was just great stuff. But you're just like, I'm funnier than you.
And, and I'm willing to anybody else. What did she say, guys?

Nothing to sacrifice that or something? What was it? Yeah, something

you have to add to my life. Yeah, something like that.

I'm already so happy and deep. And I quote that

a lot. Girl, it's so true, though.
Like, once you and being friends with Drew Fall has changed my life because once you recognize that like

there is no one in this life that can make you whole you have to be whole and this sounds so preachy but it's like truly men look at you like that you know is she adding something to my life if not no i'm freaking my shit alone right and even then they're trying to find someone to fit into their lifestyle you know they're not interested in getting to know you and if you like drag race he's not going to sit down and watch drag race with you and like genuinely become a fan the way that women sit down to watch sports and like care about their boyfriend's team and all this shit like we make so many sacrifices to feel loved at the end of the day men don't do that shit so why would i and i think also i have a friend who's going through kind of a weird situationship right now and i was like

he will never not put himself first. So why are you putting his emotions first? He's not putting yours first.
It's like, once you start to realize this, it becomes a lot easier to let these people go.

You know, it's like, well, the potential and like what he could have been the one it's he's just in a weird place no he's prioritizing himself as a man will always do it's like why are you shocked you need to start acting like a man and i think that can be a double-edged sword but at the same time it's like that's really helped me because i am so happy on my own i have such amazing friendships i have a beautiful life um if a man is only gonna come in and stress me out i'd rather be alone i'd rather be alone yeah yeah

it was like the potential you see in him is actually what you would do if you were in his position so he's not gonna do that that.

Like, that's you being the wonderful, awesome, cool person that you are, but you can't save him. He has to do that.
Exactly. You can't save him.

Face value. I will say, I really have great friends.

Like, and I think you as well, but like the friends that I've made for my rugby team, some of the funniest people, a Lily Johnner recently asked me, she's like,

have you ever found a man you've dated funny? And I was like,

oh,

um,

um, why would you ask me that? And I thought it was interesting, but then I was like, oh, because I have friends who are just so hilarious to me, as you as well.

Like, you know, Georgie, Charlie, Olivia, Audrey, like the way that they make me laugh, I don't know if anyone, any man can really do that. Which I'm like trying to figure out.

I don't know if that's a requisite. Like, I don't know if I need a man to make me laugh in that way because the friendships I have and what they do for me

is amazing. That I would love a man who like is slightly funny, but again,

these guys will say something that'll really, you know,

belly laugh. laugh.
Yeah, it tickles your room. And it seems like you've curated a solid friend group.
And you know what else is

humor is tied to intelligence.

So like,

usually you get a two-for-one. If you get a funny man, it's because he's deeply intelligent.
And even then, it's like, I've dated funny men in the past and they're never funnier than me.

So it's like, and I don't feel like an egomaniac saying that. It's true.
You know, like they're struggling to keep up with me.

I've also had some fucking weirdos who have dated me or gone on dates with me almost as like a test to themselves as like yeah i made her laugh i'm like i'm laughing at you brother it's literally it's so horrible i think it's also like

to the idea i saw this tweet one time that changed my life that was like the average woman who's full of compassion you know who is deeply emotional who cares about others is a great friend is a great man yeah so why it's like

The standard for men is so much lower. Like women have to do so much more.
So why would I I accept less when my friendships are higher? I keep people around me that I want to be like.

You know what I mean? It's like I would never,

I have only ever given to men. Yeah.
So rarely have I been in a situationship or a relationship where I'm like, I really get a lot from this.

I'm coming out on top here. I literally, I'm going to win.
When you go on dates with these men, have you noticed that they steal? All the content from you. Yeah.
I used to

date a Twitch streamer. Oh, oh my gosh.
Wow. And not even date, like, went on a few dates.
Survivor. I am.

Say that.

We would FaceTime and he'd be like, gotta clock into the stream factory, babe. I'll talk to you later.

By the way, my joke, okay? Because I was like, you gotta clock into the stream factory? He was like, yeah, I gotta clock into the

we would FaceTime. We'd be doing bids.
We'd be he, he, ha, ha, me making him laugh, by the way. He'd be like, gotta go.
I would watch him get on Twitch and repeat all my jokes word for word.

I'll kill you. I'm sending a bomb to your house.
I for real was like, there's no way. You gotta sue.
You gotta sue. You got intellectual property or some shit.
And I got friendly about it.

I was like, if you need help fucking brainstorming your jokes, let me know so I can invoice you. Literally.
Literally.

Anyway. You hang out around with funny people, though.
Do you ever feel like it's like

exhausting? Is it exhausting? Does it make it easy?

It is not exhausting because it is so natural. You know, it's like, I can't help but, you know, if Drew says something, I'm like, yes, and also this.

Help it. Like the flow just goes.
So I don't know. It's, it's good.
I'm very lucky. I know y'all, you got some built-in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think humor is just so,

so special and finding people who can like match you with that. You speak my language.
I love a laugh.

I love to laugh. Y'all mind if I laugh? Yeah, we have.

And you have a great laugh. Sorry, I keep hyping you up.
I gotta stop.

You want me so bad?

We're bringing you a bad one. I'm done.
exactly yeah now we're gonna start the roast

sorry i'm gonna interrupt you for your thought about going by andre

oh god shut up go adriana that's a new one for me actually andre easy

on you on it

andre 3000

andre 3000 no my nickname is dre so i get dr dre a bunch oh dr andre 3000 might be a good one might be the nice iteration this show is brought to you by better help october 10th was world mental health day and this year we're shining the spotlight and saying thank you therapists.

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M-A-H-E-R.

You and Benson Boone had a huge year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So let's get into it with tea time. Thank you, Peloton, for sponsoring tea time today.
And thank you, Benson Boone, Boone, for being yourself.

Yeah. Thank you, Kang.
For being the moonbeam to my ice cream.

Jerking off in your blue jeans. Okay.

Come on.

Anyway.

You got to keep an ear open when you're on her.

She's saying the wildest stuff. One ear open.
She's mumbling over there.

She goes jerking off in her.

Moonbeam ice cream jerking off in your blue jeans. Jerking off the movies.

Okay.

A businesswoman yourself. You have a a makeup collab coming out with Trixie Mattel.
Sold out. Sold out.

Reagan sold out with

Patricia Martell. So

that bitch is

she's the one. She's the one.
She's the one. I think she should be in prison, but ultimately she's not.
And she's out there wreaking havoc. And I love her.
That's my sister.

Yeah, we did a because neither Trixie or I are from Hollywood. And we're both really fascinated by this idea of like

a southern rednecks idea of what Hollywood is. Yeah.
And so we kind of did this whole conceptual the palette is a collab of like all the things we love about old Hollywood.

So all the shade names are like Tinsel Town and Scandal and Action and all this like Hollywood land, like honoring kind of the origins of Hollywood. And then yeah, it's an eyeshadow palette.

It's a blush. There's latches.

And did you bring gifts for us? Anything?

They should be messengered over in a few minutes.

Sold out. She said it, Alona.
they're gone all right

are you wearing any today yes actually i mean i'm a little point

trixie appears in that door

for real

the fucking um and here's another one do y'all know about the hat man oh benadryl hat manadryl hat man so there's this tweet that went viral uh probably maybe like 10 years ago that says when i take too much benadryl sometimes i see the hat man in the corner of my room and a lot of people see the hat man when they take too much Benadryl.

It's a thing. And then it started to develop like the Hatman.
I owe him money.

It's just, it's okay. I think it's from your subconscious from Curious George, the big yellow man.
Probably, yeah.

That guy kind of haunts all my dreams.

That's pretty cool. He was a little sexy.
Yeah, that's the Hatry.

And you see him when you take too much Benadryl. Yeah.
Why did you just say that? That's a great question.

Because I saw the image of Trixie backlit in the door. You and I was just like, yeah.
I got it. I got it.

You got where I was going.

Yeah, Trixie is kind of the Hatman to me. She appears, her big fucking wig.
Her big wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, that's take too much benefit. Well, there you go.

All right, so then you collaborate. Like, you guys were there choosing colors, choosing names.
Yeah, that fucking video of Jeffree Star arranging the shit.

And Trixie. And Shane Dawson's, wow.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That's literally us. You described Trixie as a sister to you.
Yeah. Biological brother, however.
Right, right. But ultimately my sister.

Right. Yeah.
That bitch, I love her to death. That's just like we speak the same.
We're cut from the same cloth. Right.
I think.

And it's real sweet that we had this idea probably like three years ago to kind of do the collab and it finally came out and people loved it. I'm kind of

excited for it.

Sold out. Soldier did something good.
Yeah, something good. Well, we tried to make it accessible.
Like the shade colors are like usable and then there's some glitters. It's very cool tone.

So if you're a cool tone girl, I'd recommend it. It's coming back in stock, and that's when we'll messenger it out for me.
Yeah,

do you have siblings? I do. I have two half-siblings.
Okay, we're close. Yeah, there are one just graduated college, one senior year of college.

You're the eldest. I'm the eldest.

Do you think you have a lot of eldest traits? 100%. Yeah.
I was the built-in babysitter.

Do you kind of? Well, y'all's age gap isn't that. No, we're not bad.
So, with Olivia and I, we were so similar in grade and stuff that we kind of, I did the same things ever she did.

It was so annoying. I had to wait for her to get a cell phone and then she just got one.
I was like, Are you fucking kidding? Okay, bitch. Yeah, so she was all alone.

I was all alone, and I was excluded.

She was, she was excluded.

She was excluded. Wow.
A little bit. Okay.

Don't diminish her experience.

Her truth. My truth.
My truth. Okay.
Your journey

by my sister. I don't think it was bullied.
Bullies too. Chill out, dog.

Okay. It was.

Okay. I thought we weren't judging her struggle or something.
Yeah, she's going to say blatant lies like, okay.

Like, I thought this was a reckoning. This is more.

Sorry, Audra, you were correct. Sure.
No, it's fine. That's just my experience.
And if yours is different, it's fine. What were you, like, given special treatment, though, from your parents?

Once they were out of the house? Once they were.

I was a really good arguer. Yeah.
And so I was able to finagle a bunch of stuff, like the phone thing, or like got my ears pierced early, or like a bunch of stuff.

And I think also times I was just such a like a troubled, like, not like I was a troubled kid, but I just was in a lot of trouble that they sometimes were just like well

were you on Tumblr? Yeah, I was actually. Okay, so very interesting to me.
What were you remote? And actually Tumblr really affected me in some good ways, some not so good ways. Mostly horrible.
Yeah.

Some really like, oh, my relationship with food's a little scary now.

Hashtag E.D. Twit.
The inspiration. Hashtag no spoo.

Yeah, so that was, maybe I was a little too young for that. Maybe I should have never seen that.
Maybe I wish I never saw that. But I saw some really good like political stuff on there.
Shut up.

Radicalized you in horrible ways, but also great ways. Yeah, where my dad was like, you're going a little crazy that way.
Let's bring you over. Let's bring you over background.

And I was like, dad, you just don't understand it. And it's all, but

she was the kind of kid that people describe as, oh, she should be a lawyer when they were actually trying to call her a bitch to her face.

My mother. No, but your mother.
Because you're a woman. That's an opinion.
That's my opinion. She'll say,

you're really good at arguing. You should be a lawyer.
Because you were. Yeah.

Doesn't mean I should be a lawyer. Well, for a while, there, she was thinking she was going to have a career in politics.

She didn't want us to post anything. She'd be very cautious about what she posted.
And she's like, guys, I just, I can't, don't post that. Please.
I give her a political career for my campaign.

One time in a video, Olivia gave me a tiny mic, and I just spoke to him, and I was like, oh, yeah. Thought daughter.
And I was like, Olivia, you can't post that.

Olivia, that's going to like, it's going to bite me in the ass in 15 years. And it's just, I said thought, daughter, and the implications.

The misogyny that that just, you don't understand like the underlying effect that's going to have. the years of internet knowledge that you need to have to to understand

gay stoner thought daughter gay stoner thought daughter my standby thought daughter actually

i would be a girl mom gay thought or son daughter

or gay thought or son daughter pick one that's the only two options you get now

okay so no political career for you or is that in the back burner i feel like now if you're gonna be any politician they're gonna have some sort of social media thing not just the way that it it is.

So, honestly, being personable and real, like, really is working to your advantage. If you want to get a depot, we need you, girl.

I could do like a city council maybe one day, but I don't think I'll want anything bigger.

Sure, would you vote for a weirdo who isn't on social media

in say in the year 2036, 2040? Are you voting for somebody who was never on social media as a kid? No, I need to see what type of ASMR my candidates watch. Right, right.

What are you watching? Right. I'm just a muck.
I'm a mukbang ass. Right.

There's just one girl who's in the car, like, yeah.

I love it. Do you like when they

like when they slurp it?

Yeah. Because there's nothing to slurp, okay? You're eating a Jimmy John sandwich.
Why are you slurping it to your west?

Now, if it was Jersey Mike's, I understand that.

Tom Mike to have his way with it. And if it was, yeah, if Mike had his way with it, you would have to be like, Tom Mike's going to take it to the back and freak it.

Yeah.

I don't mind a slurp in some scenarios.

A lot of people don't like slurping sounds. Like, it's like a whole phobia.

Well, I like the comments that are like, this is the greed they talked about in the Bible. And it's somebody dipping a chicken tender in a thing of cane sauce.

Sorry, that goes all the way to the bottom. I want to do that, though.
I want to do that. Don't do that.
You're picking up. But, like, why do you need that much sauce?

You have four tenders on your sauce. Because I love sauce.
You love sauce, but are you going to save that sauce?

Are you going to save that sauce

later? Are you going to save that sauce? It's too contaminated by. I've never been no buffalo.

I've noted up dip popcorn and leftover sauce from things that I have just for a vehicle to get sauce into my mouth. I'd like to study you.
Yeah.

Girl dinner. Girl dinner.

Shut the hell up, bro.

You should tell your dates that. Girl dinner.
Yeah. You are a patent, patented inventor.
That's me. A neologist.
Neologist. Neologist.
What is your other. Is it just mukbongs for you that I watch?

Yeah.

That's the biggest one. And I've been watching that for a while.
Yeah. I like wood soup.
What the soup? Wood soup's great.

Yep.

Okay, questions on wood soup. Yeah, questions on wood soup.
Can I get a definition?

Yeah, it's like soup that's like water and it's just got a bunch of wood in it. Wood balls.
Like like blocks, like different shaped wood things they put it in.

And there's usually like at like universe lights and star things around it. And then they just kind of mix it slowly and it makes all these like beautiful like clunking.
No, our brains are rotting.

That's coming up on your page? Of course it is. Yeah, 100%.
There's lives. It's live streamed.
It's live streamed, yeah. Sometimes there's weird puppets behind them.
Yeah. I don't know.
Usually

my experience.

Like, that's. What soup? No, I haven't seen that.
What's up?

I'm getting some nods behind the camera. No, like, we're in the, I'm in the comments, like, more blocks.
Are you sending roses?

Thank you for the galaxy, Brittany Burst.

More blocks.

I love it, dude. The ones I'm into lately are.

There's this girl. I wish I knew her username.
She does blind boxes, but she packs them. And they're like Sanrio.
So it's like Hello Kitty and all of her friends.

And she'll be like, pack an order with me. And she uses that like AI baby voice.
I don't know why. And then she does this.
It's like a bunch of little trinkets and a, this is so stupid.

It's a bunch of little trinkets in a bowl and she'll scoop it and each trinket is like according to what it is. So it's like a makeup bag or a pencil or notes or whatever.

And it's in the stock room that she has in her home. And she, people will order them.
I like Hello Kitty. Can I do a one scoop order? I watch that shit for hours.

Anyway, I've seen this. I used to start with those ones with the, she had really long nails, but she would pack like self-defense bags and everything was color-coded, like

the kitty knuckle ring and the, you see those? Yeah.

No? Yeah, with the like glitter mace and all that here.

See you and me?

Did you guys ever see the soap cutting videos? Yeah, darling.

I was on the internet in 2014. Yeah.
Yeah, those were really nice. No, no, that was really

good. It exists to this day.

It was on YouTube, you're saying? This was like early Instagram. Soap cutting when videos first popped up.
Yeah, they're making it crunching the soap. They crunch the soap and they cut it with the.

I like it when there's like a cross, you know, and they go through the grill. And they do the layers.
Yeah, like my favorite. How about we all just get outside sometime?

No.

How about how about we go down on our skin?

How about we get outside? Not interested. Touch grass a little bit.
Not interested. I'm going to send you a link to my.

No, I don't want it. That's crazy.

And I'm part of the problem too, but

ladies, you start making some some ASMR videos. Yeah.

We say that all the time because when we have dinner at our house, like with our parents too, it goes quiet because our mom cooks really great stuff.

The sounds coming from the dinner table is. We can make good money with a microphone at that table.
Yeah, lion's den. Yeah,

yeah. Exactly.
There's just one like antelope on the fucking ground. I love that.

Yeah, say that, Queen.

I got one more thing to say. Go ahead.
Carpet cleaning videos piss me off. Oh, because they make them dirty.
They make them dirty.

It's not okay.

No. No.
No. Take them off the internet.

Or like a stuffed animal that I'm like, you just went outside and just rubbed it in some dirt and you're in a vacuum because I know what I'm being lied to on God's videos. Yeah.

It's not cool. There's no integrity anymore.

Now I know from damn sure that wasn't that dirty. We can't all be athletes, Alona, that play outside all day.
No, no, no, no, no. I mean, I'm online as well.
I'm online. I have my opinions as well.

Would you say you have a healthy relationship with brain rot, though?

I don't think I

maybe they know better.

You're pretty good at putting your phone down because all of a sudden she's on walks and I'm like, her phone's here. How's her phone here? What is she? How's she doing this? She better phone.

And like, she doesn't like have like

brain rot or things that she'll like say or stim or however you say it. We have those.
They have always secret language, which you seem to know it as well. I do.
That is real hot, man.

Whatever the hell that was. Well, can you guess what my fucking screen time is? Upwards of 13 hours.
No, it isn't.

Yeah, day, yeah.

But that's your job, though. But that's the thing.

It's kind of that bridge between, yeah, your job and you have to know these things because also it's giving you content when you sit in your little room by yourself.

When you do your little thing in your room by yourself. When you sit there, that's a lot.
You need to be thinking of things to say. You do.
You need to be plugged in.

And you need to be plugged in for that. But sometimes it's like, people are like, what do you think about the divorce of, I don't know what that is.
I'm watching Woodsuit. What does that mean?

Like, I really

it's a lot of time and a weird corner of the internet. but I do think I need to be better about unplugging.
It's hard. It is hard.
Alona, talk about your, the invention you wish existed.

Oh, I wish that

you could also just get, like, a flip phone that has your number on it. And so if you wanted to, you could just get calls and texts and like maybe, you know, Facebook message or on that shit.

But you just can have it as, oh, I don't want my, I don't want the iPhone today. I just want like a screen that you can read messages on and call people with.

But they're linked, so they speak to each other. So everything is on the same thing.
Isn't that just what a SIM SIM card is? I don't think so. So you would take it out and put it into a different one.

Yeah, if you want service and stuff. No, I want two different, I want two different things.
Two different things. Flip phone, but like the same messages, like kind of a different thing.

Oh, I get the messages when I transfer. I see.
No, I want it to be like both are linked up.

Like kind of a, you know, your laptop links up with your other thing, but there's no, you know, Instagram on there. It's just.

Well, you know, you can kind of do, just get a flip phone and then have an iPad. Like that kind of thing.
Right.

You still want like a phone at times that takes pictures and does all that stuff and you can scroll on the apps and whatever.

But also, if you want to just put it away, you have a flip phone and you can still be reached by people that need to reach you. And you can see it's a good thing.
I totally see what you do.

I totally see what you're doing. You know what I mean? Somebody could get on that for us.

I would like it. Alona will give you a kiss on the forehead if you invent that.
Thank you.

Get some 3D printers in the comments to make this happen.

Enough getting to know each other as people. Let's play a game.
We're going to take it back to the playground, ladies, with some rock, paper, scissors. Hey-oh!

As kids, we settled all debates with rock, paper, scissors, but we're grown-ups now. So here's the deal: one of us will play rock, paper, scissors against our guest.

Sorry, the rest is in.

Best two out of three wins. All losers must spin the chore wheel to determine their high stakes punishment.
Alona, V Brittany. Okay, so you two are gonna rock, paper, scissors each other, right?

That came out wrong.

Johnson, then Moonbeam Ice Cream, and then

we're gonna bet on which one of you to win and whoever loses spins the wheel. Okay, and wait, I'm gonna bet on, I'll bet on low.

You got this. That's my point.
That's my queen.

Rock, rock, paper, screen, paper, scissors, shoot.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh my gosh.
Wait, I'm gonna do it one more time. Time for me.
Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors.
Shoot.

I've got the same thing every single time.

I was like, what? That's my 25.

I'm in your head. Rock, rock, paper, scissors.

No! No!

Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

Oh my god, that's true. Two.

Can you spin that for me? I can't be getting up in these pants.

I lost with you, so I can go spin. Yeah, I go spin later.
Look here,

I'm gonna spin it. Brittany's spinning.
Here we go. Benny's spinning.
Oh my gosh. I'm gonna show you how much I'm sweating these pants.

The pants I'm wearing later.

I'm wearing those pants later. They're gonna stand up with your is a little bit more.
Search history. Search history.
What's the word? Search history. Is this like on the internet?

On like a search engine? On the interweb? Show us where TikTok searches. Oh, different.

That's not good because you can just click on things when you're curious about them on.

I'll be clicking. No, and I, the little blue link under the comment sections.

I'll click it. I'll buy it.
Okay.

Here's my top one.

You are not even ready for it. Ilona Mar.

And that's on mine, too. You'd never even believe it.
Okay, and then I have Alphaba Micro Braids American Girl. Have you guys been watching this? Yeah.

Oh my gosh, the American Girl has an Alphaba doll, but the braids are like too big. Like Alphaba has the micro braids and the braids are too thick.

So people, when they get this doll, have been doing, like, putting on them the task of micro braiding their American Girl dolls. So everyone's making videos about it.

And they're like, I'm doing this section today. I'm doing this section today.
And they're micro braiding the hell out of their American Girl dolls.

So

let's get our feet in the grass. Yeah.

Lo, you got one?

Mine aren't that good because I do a lot of the clicking what's beneath the page. Yeah, that's what's funny.
That's what I did. That's what that one was.

Well, recently today, I tried to find She Was a Fairy song. And what I love about TikTok is you can put in the most, the smallest part of a song and they'll be able to find it for you.
Yes.

You can think of that one song and it will find you. My other one that I looked up was sometimes on videos of me, it'll have like

things in this search box. It was Alone Amar and her girlfriend.
I was like, oh, cool. Who is it? Who's that? I loved to meet her.
I love to meet her, so I looked up who that was.

Then the next one was, who is Alona Mar's boyfriend? I looked up who that was just to figure it out. I'd look

at

it. Did we get to any conclusions there?

None are good enough. No, I've looked up.
Keep it in your pants. Vermont Country Deli.
Oh, that was kind of going viral there for a minute on mine at least. Okay.

Yeah, I should look up better stuff, I guess. Recently, I was looking up on Google thrillers like Silent Patient.

I just bought that. Silent Patient.

You haven't read that yet?

It's really good. It's a good one.
Because he also wrote, or is it a woman who wrote that? He wrote, What else did he write, Liv? It's another silent famous guy.

Oh,

Maidens or something. He wrote it

and Fury. In Oxford.

Yes, in Oxford. Oh, I'm so excited to read this.
I literally just bought it at the article. It's fun.
It's an easy, like, not an easy read because it is kind of fucked up. Okay.

Okay, here we go.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock.
I'm so sorry. Come up.
Okay. Redemption, redemption.
My eyes.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Okay.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

That's my aunt.

You don't want to spin it? Yeah, please. Motherfuckers.
Sorry, Lo.

This is for you. Guilty pleasure.
Guilty pleasure.

Okay, well, when a loner gets asked this, her answer is, I don't think of anything as a guilty pleasure. When it comes to food, they always ask for that.

Not food. Guilty pleasure, otherwise.

Love Island. Oh, that's a guilty pleasure.
I don't know. Probably wouldn't call that guilty.
I love that. Leah and Miguel's season.
I literally like that. It changed my life.

And like, I'm not, I don't like reality TV that way. You know what I mean? But I just, I love her.
Right.

That was the season before this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last season. You got a guilty pleasure, love? No, I'll just be.
Do you want to just go to another one? Well, yeah, sure, sure.

If you can, but smut. Show and tell.
Notes app. You know what? This is what's fun.
I just started a notes app

of everyone share. Come on.
Everyone. Everyone's fire.
My new notes app is Wedding Song. Whoa!

Am I anywhere as close to that? No. But I was in the car listening to some bangers.
Right now I have two. I'll have more in there.

You make me feel like dancing. Hey.

This will be for the older crowd to get them going. Yeah.
Get them up.

And then this will be in Everlasting Love. This Twitter.
That's on my list. Yes.

So I'm in the car. I'm hearing this one.
I'm like, oh, I got to save this for my marriage in 10 years. That's great.
And

start that, yeah. You got a Pinterest board? I don't know.

I have a certain vibe, I think. Mine is very boring because I do at least a lot of work in here.

It's structured. It's rigid in here.
I'm running it like the Navy. Sure.

I'm trying to think, like, the funniest thing I have, or the best thing I have is a note called The Anthropological Sociologist. And it's my friend and I are doing a dive bar tour of Los Angeles.

Sure. And we have, like, the kind of places that you walk into and you go, we got to get out of here.

But you can't. You stay and you sit and you have a drink and you just take note of what's going on.
And it turns out to be so much fun. Do people watch? Do people watch?

And we just chat with one another, and we're like, You just have a hee-hee ha-ha girly time. We also made a game out of it, and so this is the list of things you do to get points.

So it's like one of them is convincing people our names are Darcy and Marcy, and it's always so annoying because nobody ever believes us that our names are Darcy and Marcy.

It's like, so it's fun things like that. You get a point, and we have a point system down here.
And the places we've raided and gone to. So that's my notes app.

Mine is actually i was gonna make a video about this but i'll just talk about it here uh it says there is no point to table-side termisu

termisu is meant to meld in the fridge together that is where the flavors develop that's where the cookies get soft

don't make it next to me because first of all you're you're up charging me for a worse termisu second of all you're pissing me off

i don't get it also i just don't really like tiramisu

can i add to it actually Termasu is only coffee and chocolate. If you give me a lemon termisu, that's something else entirely.
That's not a termisu. Right, right.

You have a whole notes after that?

It's the last thing I have written. Good for you.

My last one is: I come up with top titles for my podcast episodes. Nice.
Like, I'll watch them and then I'll be like, here's the title.

Here were a few rejected ones. Caffeine turned me into Oppenheimer.

And Red Bull Bull turned me into a white walker. Those were the last two.
I didn't end up going with those. We actually ended up going with,

I reject heaven and hell. It's boring.
We went with that. Wow.

May we title this episode one of those?

Yeah. Accelerator turned me into Oppenheimer.

Great stuff.

As you know, we are avid readers. We got books all over.
Very literally. It tends to be cozy season here in LA.
Grab a blankie

or a glass of clear liquid and a wine glass and join us in the book nook, the part of the show where we discuss what's happening on book talk, adaptation news, and what's in our Goodreads.

Brittany, what have you been reading recently? Girl, and thank you for asking. I just finished Babel by R.F.
Quang. Whoa.

Hey, can I ask, is it actually pronounced Babel? Well, this is honestly, it's debated in the academic community because guess what? I Googled it. Oh, my goodness.
And I watched an interview with R.F.

Quang where she said the same thing. She was like, it's kind of both because Babel is the tower of Babel, which is the whole concept or the inspiration for the book is

early on in the Bible, and this is not real, right? Because if we're saying the Bible isn't real, I'm saying it.

When the Tower of Babel fell, this is where we get the

fracturing into all the languages that we speak across the globe. There was something called the Adamic language, like Adam.
and Eve, where it was one universal language spoken everywhere.

And then when the Tower of Babel fell, God punished the people by, it's a bunch of different languages. So the structure of the book is about learning other languages.

And honestly, it's about colonialism and the exploitation of the colonies and of other people's languages for the betterment of the British Empire and how, you know, the empire seeks to destroy that which it covets the most.

Like it's just, it's an incredible fucking book. I just finished it last night.
Made me cry. And I'm about to start

Silent Patient. And then I'm about to start also this book by George Orwell called Burmese Days because now I'm on this whole like, fuck the British Empire kick.
And he really was anti.

Like he served in the Burma, he was like the military police

under the British forces in Burma and then went back to the UK and was like impoverished. And it's like all this, you serve your country, you serve your country and you're treated like shit.

And it's like, why would I ever be loyal? It's, it's one of my special interests.

Dang, you read some serious books. I walk in.
But I like R.F. Quing's books because she ties in such heavy, important messaging in a fantasy book.
At the end of the day, it's about magic.

It's awesome. You explained it really well, too.
You explained it really well. I feel like I was.

Wow. Did you read The Priory of the Orange Tree? No, I didn't, but that's on my TBR is so long.

She wrote The Poppy War as well. Is it the same? Is it the same author? R.F.
Quang, yeah. Not Priory of the Orange Tree.
Oh, no, not that one. Yeah, yeah.
That one's been on my list, too.

The Poppy War. I've heard that one will destroy you.
Really? The same. And I think it's a trilogy.
Yeah.

So it's like, it's hard to kind of go into a trilogy knowing it's going to be like great but rough for sure.

Y'all doing romantic still? Yeah. We're all about

it. All about it.
What is one of the top ones you've read in the last few years that is an akatar? Did you do Quicksilver? I did read Quicksilver. I enjoyed Quicksilver.
I enjoyed it. Yeah.

There's going to be another one soon, right? Yeah, her horny ass, bro. That book is so horny.
Yeah, it is. God, somebody keeps recommending Gilded to me.
People keep recommending that one.

I think I read that one. I think you read that one.
That's the one we were just talking about. Yeah, exactly.
I keep going.

Have you read that? No.

I don't know if you need to. Sorry.
Well, and say that. Girl, I read The Cruel Prince.
Yeah. The first one's Thank you.
Why would y'all recommend that to me? People are obsessed with that book.

And I get it in the way of like, maybe I've talked about this before, but it's very much so like

Fae. Like the Fae in the traditional sense where it's mischievous, like they're trying to trick you into things to steal you.
I liked that. That was cool in that way.

That author, she does a lot of very traditional Fae fairy books. And that one, but everyone's freaking out about it and like very enemies to lovers.
And I was like, this is not it. It felt horse.

And also, what really turned me off of that fucking book is there's this scene where her and her sister go back to the human realm and she goes, I put on my sparkly converse and my skinny jeans.

And I said, make this book. Kind of the same vibe as like, threw my hair up in a messy bunny and went downstairs and, oh, I got sold to One Direction.
My mom sold me to One Direction.

Gosh, Gosh, it's literally me, my sparkly converse. Yeah.
So many stories, fan fiction. It could be one direction.
It could be like five seconds a summer or something.

Girls, teenage girls would get sold to one direction and then, of course, fall in love with maybe all the members or maybe just one member. Oh, my God.
Sometimes they are in the middle.

They would not get sold. Writers would write about them getting sold.
Yes, yes. That the parents in the books were like, bills are really high right now.
Yeah.

There are no confirmed cases of women who actually get sold to one direction that we know of.

Yeah, this was, it was a common, maybe not common, but definitely a much discussed plot point in some of these non-fiction. And I read them sometimes.
Yeah, of course. Because

what? It was a cultural moment. It was.
And I don't know what the imagination of a 13-year-old is so beautiful. So beautiful.
I was mostly on Wattpad for werewolf books. That was me.

Adriana has an encyclopedic knowledge of werewolf romance. I wish I was kidding.
And literally last night in the car, she said to you, well, you guys know I'm a purist about werewolf romance books.

So, and never before have those words been under. Never.
The first time that sentence was ever said. Yeah, none of those words are in the Bible, actually.
And by that, I mean, I don't read like

ABO alphabet Omega books.

Oh, you don't read that?

I think that's the Omeriverses.

I've heard of the Omega verses. I thought that was all you need to know, people.
Like, I was describing it into the car, like in the car with him yesterday, and I was like, it's so slick. No, stops.

Enough right there.

Explain. But that's what I mean.

I don't like that kind of stuff because I think it's like freaky sexual. And I'm not about.
So I'm just like traditional, like, there's an alpha, maybe there's a Luna, and that's it.

I just like classic. Female werewolf, male werewolf sex.
Don't make it weird.

Don't make it weird.

Don't be a weirdo. I'm like a conservative werewolf.

He's woker trying to change it.

There should be an alpha and there should be a mate. So we go back.

Wow.

The Nara Smith of werewolf fantasy. Wow, you're amazing.
Do you do vampire stuff as well? Yeah, we all do.

We all do.

I have a recommendation. Please, tell me.
It's not like Twilight Adjacent or like whatever, but it is WLW. Oh.
Carmilla? Carmilla? Carmilla inspired Bram Stoker to write Dracula.

And it is a sapphic vampire novel. Oh, my God.
Gothic. It's like from the Victorian times.
It's like 1880s, I think it was published.

1872. Write that down.
I've read it. You've read it? Yeah.

And I remember... There's like sapphic undertones, but I was like, it's not really like out there, you know? I mean, for the time, though.
Because at times when you... Crazy.

Have you read Picture picture of Dorian Gray? No, I haven't. That is the gay version of that, where it's like, everyone's like, it's the gayest fucking book ever.

And it's like, they touch hands. It's like that.

But it was major for the time.

And now they sell it as the uncensored picture of Dorian Gray because when the editor first got it, they were like, yeah, we'll take this to publishing, but take all the gay shit out. Yeah, yeah.

And you take out the whole story when you do that. Make it straight.
Make it straight. Make it Omega.

Make it straight. Make it Omega.
Dorian T. Megan Omega.
Yeah, okay. Dorian T Omega.
A fucking basil estimate. Anyway.

Well, I've learned a lot. Yeah.
There's so much more you do need to know if you want to get her number. You could learn a lot about her.

I do have some follow-up questions.

I'll answer it if I can. And honestly, you should be answered off air because she was telling us yesterday in the car and I was like, boy.

She's like, she doesn't read them, but she knows a lot about them. She's like, and you guys know I don't believe in other shifter books.

So, and Ilona was like, I've read a bear shifter book. I've read a good bear shifter book for that one.

No if, ands, or bears about it. What? Okay.

That's a good one. That was good.
That's a good one. What is a bear shifter, if you don't mind me? Same as a werewolf, very similar.
But they shifted to being a bear. Or they shifted to being a bear.

And there's not a more inventive term for it.

Just bear shifter. Yeah.
Were bears. I don't know.
No way. See, I like that.

Leave it to the werewolf expert. Yeah, but there's now shifters all you can can do a hyena shifter.
There's a lot of dragon shifters on Kingdom Unlimited. And can I tell you something?

I was kind of looking forward to what's the fucked up thing in your purse because do I have a 3D printed fidget dragon in my purse? Yeah, I do. Why is it so fucked up?

Why is it so fucked up?

So you said dragon shifter and kind of my ears perked up. Oh, okay.
Have you watched this movie? What movie? I Am Dragon on Amazon.

No? Oh, my God. I love it.

Where is it from? Russia. I'm like, Russia,

Serbia. or like I'm they went to have a pretty good film scene there.
Great CGI.

I'll send you the details on this one because she gets taken by the dragon to this deserted island, but then there's a hot boy there. Oh, he's the dragon.
Whoa! No,

I like that. No, I know.
I'll send it to you. And he took her.
He didn't want to.

He's been isolated on the island because he knows it's wrong and he watched his father do it with the father, like the dragon before him, but like his dragon instinct, like he heard the call of the town.

He's got inner demons. He's got inner demons.

Yeah, he does. It's a fabulous movie.
You're going going to love your free movie. Oh, I'm going to hyperfixate on it.
That's good. Watching it with your little dragon.

Hey, yeah, I'm going to be fidgeting with my dragon, watching I am Dragon.

Do you wish that was me? You wish that was fucking me. When will a dragon find me?

This bitch, I could have done that.

Anyway, guys. Well, Brittany, thank you for bringing your absolute humor, intellect, beautifulness to this stage.

It's been such a pleasure. And go check out the grocery report.
Again, it's her in a room saying things I think we all need to hear

that have never been uttered before. That have never been said ever before.

And then check out Royal Court. Watch Alona's episode of Royal Court.
Keep watching my views, I guess.

Let's run those views, guys.

Guys,

and can I just say, yeah, first ever episode on this set, I've left my impression of sweat on this chair.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
I love it.