Victoria Garrick Browne on Body Peace, Color Analysis & Calling Tribal Council

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Speaker 1 Remember when we didn't know the word Ozempec? Peace with your body body and food is what I want.

Speaker 1 Not being in a certain dress size, not being, because if I'm in that dress size, I'm thinking about food 24/7. Because guess what? That's not my natural weight.

Speaker 1 That's not my weight when I enjoy my life. So I always come back to what do I really want? And it's peace with my body and peace with food.
And that means living my life the way I'm doing it now.

Speaker 2 Welcome to House of Mar, a Wave Regional, sponsored by TJ Maxx. We have a few house rules.
Girls are magic. Reading is hot.
And so are you. Make sure to subscribe to us on YouTube.

Speaker 2 And also, if you can, this is like the last day you can vote for my Espies.

Speaker 2 And make sure to click all the way through to the end. I'd appreciate your vote as I'm campaigning.
So please, please, please, I would like to, I would like this Espy.

Speaker 2 I am the middle sister, Alona Marr. I am the eldest daughter, Olivia Marr.
And I am the baby, Ariana marr i recently heard that our little baby here went on a date

Speaker 1 oh the rumors are true the rumors

Speaker 2 first one in how long

Speaker 2 why are you bringing that up you're famous for it it's been almost a year it's been almost

Speaker 2 same same

Speaker 2 official date but ilona it wasn't that bad actually

Speaker 2 it was i was nervous kind of going into it because it's been so long but i was kind of there and i was like this is easy this is but it was also like i was putting in a shift, keeping this conversation going.

Speaker 2 Right, right. Okay.
I was like, I'm asking all the questions. Like, yes, he is lobbing some back my way, but like, why am I holding your hand through this? He did ask you some stuff, you're saying.

Speaker 2 Yeah, kind of like the same one that I'd ask him back.

Speaker 2 So that is a step up, but bar, the bar is in hell. Right.
Sometimes they don't ask intellectual questions, very surface level.

Speaker 2 Like, even if it's just favorite color or something, it's never like, what's your thoughts on this or blah blah blah what i was anticipating and i still didn't have an answer for until i got there is how i was going to answer so what do you do right because that's a lot to unpack and so i did answer truthfully and i was like i was at a non-profit but now i have a podcast and i could tell he was not convinced until like the more because he the more we talked like little things would happen i was like oh like we were in like bristol shooting and like our producer and our product yada yada and i can see that he was like oh this is legit.

Speaker 2 It's not her in a basement. He didn't look at you, look you up on socials? Apparently not.

Speaker 2 Oh, you don't follow?

Speaker 2 I should have left. Yeah,

Speaker 2 what did you guys do on this date? Did you go to dinner or like, do people do that anymore? What, what was the vibe? I was actually the cheapest date of his life.

Speaker 2 We went to this like dive bar and it was happy hour when we got there. So my gin and tonic was five dollars.

Speaker 2 And then we got our next round free because like a alcohol distributor was there and she was like, Would you like a Moscow mule?

Speaker 2 So we had two drinks. It only cost him five bucks.
Big spender. And you're gonna see him again? Or what do you think?

Speaker 2 Uh-oh. No, okay.

Speaker 1 It wasn't bad.

Speaker 2 It was like fun. You know, it was just, eh, there's no spark.
Also, it's been a week or two and no one has reached out.

Speaker 2 Right. So that's kind of

Speaker 2 the writing. Okay.
Okay. That's fine.
But I can go in another one. I'm inspired.
So are you inspired? Do you want to, did this wet your feet enough that you want to dive all the way in? I think so.

Speaker 2 Maybe not all the time, but maybe more than once a year. Okay, sex in the city over here.
Wow.

Speaker 2 You are so Samantha. She is Samantha.
You think she's Samantha?

Speaker 2 I was like, I think I'm incredibly obvious.

Speaker 2 You're, hold on, let me think. I know.
What's the lawyer lady's name? Miranda. Miranda.
Miranda, Miranda. Oh, and Charlotte.
I'm a Miranda. Yeah.
Everyone should be

Speaker 2 Miranda. If a man is over 30 and single, there's something wrong with him.
It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out from propagating the species.

Speaker 1 Okay, what about us?

Speaker 1 We're just choosing.

Speaker 2 What is Alona? Who is Alona?

Speaker 2 Carrie.

Speaker 3 Sanford, I got a whole afternoon plan with Australian Vogue. I'm not just going to drop everything to go downtown to see some cute guy.

Speaker 2 He's straight.

Speaker 3 I'll get my purse.

Speaker 2 So I am annoying, like Carrie real talk.

Speaker 2 I am real talk of Carrie. I am annoying as heck.
Olivia,

Speaker 2 I don't think is a Samantha.

Speaker 2 No. So I guess Charlotte, dude.

Speaker 3 Just trying to learn to compromise because sometimes I can be a little rigid.

Speaker 4 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 That's not Charlotte.

Speaker 1 I think it's Charlotte, but you're also Marie.

Speaker 2 She's also Miranda, yeah. I'm Miranda, but I think I can take the Charlotte just because I am quite type A and I am quite like, I like things to be a certain way.

Speaker 2 That's so true. So I think that that works for me.
And she's got great hair and great style. So

Speaker 1 I'll take it cool.

Speaker 2 And maybe, Olivia, maybe you'll come into your Samantha era. I think, am I, am I, am I in Samantha rising? Is that what's happening?

Speaker 4 Nice poll.

Speaker 2 Want to see it again?

Speaker 2 You got a very far way to rise to get to where Samantha's at, but I think you could, you could

Speaker 2 like microdose it. Let's not fully go Samantha mode.
But one of my favorite Samantha lines is, I love you, but I love me more. Oof, love that.
She's good. Remember that forever and always.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you guys something so corny? As I've now like single again and I'm out at bars and stuff, and you find yourself having that mental struggle of like, oh my gosh, do I look pretty enough?

Speaker 2 Do I look, do I look good enough here? Oh, does it look weird that I'm wearing this? And you're like doing this weird thing in your brain. Like, will people like me?

Speaker 2 It's so corny but you know that song that's like someone will love me the way I am yeah my brain literally does that and it makes me step back and be like wait yeah I can wear whatever the hell I want act however I want talk as loud as I want because whoever I'm supposed to be with is gonna love me the way that I am

Speaker 2 It's corny, but I don't know why.

Speaker 2 My brain's like, someone will love me. Yeah.
So that's been helping me actually. Like, it's weirdly like very therapeutic to just remind me that of who who I am.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And everyone else take that in as well. Yeah.
Start singing under your breath in bars. You'll be

Speaker 2 brand new

Speaker 2 when no one's buying me a drink. Someone will love me.
Right, right, right.

Speaker 2 No, I'm fine. Someone will love me the way I am.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Dang, well, Ijana, I hope you do go on some more dates. It's honestly fun.

Speaker 2 Like going on dates, you get better at it. You get used to it.
I think it's smart what you did going to just get a drink because it's an easy way out. You're not there for a long time.

Speaker 2 So good on you, dude. Thank you.
Crowd. More to come.
It's only in the middle of 2025, too. You got, you know, rest of the year to go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. And what my friend has recently said, this is like

Speaker 2 one less date before whoever I marry. I was like, for sure.
Wow. That's good.
That is good. And to everyone listening, remember, someone will love you the way that you are.
All right. Well,

Speaker 2 on that note, let's get into it.

Speaker 2 Coming up on today's episode of House of Mar, we are talking with our special guest, Victoria Garrick Brown, about perfectionism, color analysis, and running your own nonprofit like a boss.

Speaker 2 We have the wonderful Victoria Garrick Brown joining us today. Well, hello, Victoria.

Speaker 1 Hi, guys.

Speaker 2 You are a 2024 Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, TEDx talk speaker, mental health advocate, podcast host of RealPod, former Division I athlete who has amassed 2 million followers across social media, where you're known for your unfiltered campaign, hashtag RealPost.

Speaker 2 You've been featured on the Kelly Clarkson show and the Drew Verrymore Show. Victoria is also the founder of the Hidden

Speaker 2 Opponent, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting athletes' mental health. Welcome.
Welcome. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy to be here with all of you.

Speaker 2 Isn't always fun to hear all of your accolades just like

Speaker 2 read out to you every time you just have to sit there like, yup.

Speaker 1 i'm so resistant to it i don't know how you guys feel like it feels weird to just sit there and be like like embrace it so i'm just like this i'm blocking it out you just have to say you just have to say thank you be like yeah okay yeah it's like getting happy birthday sang at you you're like yes thank you so much everyone all the attention's on me to celebrate it you should revel in it because there's a lot here oh my god thank you well i know the three of you can really i have this thing though where like i struggle to just like let myself soak up things like that and be like, yeah, I've worked hard and I'm proud of myself.

Speaker 1 It like it, it's always like, nope, can always do a little more. So that's what I'm working on right now.

Speaker 2 Good for you. Do you ever get asked about imposter syndrome or do you deal with imposter syndrome yourself?

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 I feel like, but I know your iconic video, Alona, where you were like, don't have that, which. honestly gives me so much hope for a future version of myself.

Speaker 1 But I feel like I had major imposter syndrome. Like, yeah, especially playing college sports.
But

Speaker 1 now I think in my career, I definitely feel confident. I definitely know like what it took to build where I'm at.
And I love to talk about like the business side and the background side.

Speaker 1 So I feel like I had it more in sports because you were just being evaluated statistically. There's another girl on the bench who wants your spot.
You're looking for coaches' validation.

Speaker 1 That it gave my anxiety a lot of room to run.

Speaker 2 Victoria, we like to start our show by touching some grass. You know, we take life a little too seriously.
So we use this as a chance to remind ourselves, but also everyone to just touch some grass.

Speaker 2 Let's be in touch with reality.

Speaker 2 So today, we all, before we started recording, were commenting on Adrano's beautiful red jacket and how it looks so great with her coloring, which got us on the topic of color analysis. Is it a scam?

Speaker 2 What are your thoughts?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Gosh, it would have depended when you asked me. I would say now for sure, I've touched grass.
I've realized we can wear every color. It wasn't a blood test.

Speaker 1 I think that's that's the thing that got me is like, you can't be sure because I got my colors done and I felt super good about it, but I'm like a perfectionist brain.

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh my god, I have to only wear these colors. And then there was another person on the internet who was like, Victoria's coloring is wrong and she's actually this.

Speaker 1 And then I started like short circuiting, like, oh my God, am I warm or am I cool?

Speaker 1 And I realized I needed to touch grass and it wasn't that deep. And if you like the color, wear the color.

Speaker 2 In case you were wondering, the PJs are in fact in my palette did you have like somebody like held up a thing on you how did you get it done i've never got it done maybe i maybe i should but now i don't know if i will

Speaker 1 is it a what did you say blood test what are you saying okay no so i had someone hold up the colors and kind of eyeball it but that's what they do if it was a blood test i was saying where like if you could draw someone's blood and be like you're a true summer i'd be like 100 there's no shred of doubt it was very hard for me to think like but I'm a true summer to you.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, I was also very much in denial because I feel like I'm a gold girl. Like, I like orange, yellow, gold.
And I was told that I'm a silver cool tone.

Speaker 1 That was tough for me.

Speaker 2 Because you identify so much with the metal that it's like, don't take that away from me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have vibes on if you're cool or warm-toned?

Speaker 3 So, what's the verdict?

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 am an autumn.

Speaker 2 I I always just say I'm pink.

Speaker 2 Because I do run. Yeah, just pink.
So I guess, is that warm? Because I'm like, I don't really think I'm a warm. I just run pink.
Like, that's my undertone. I see Olivia's cool tone right now.

Speaker 2 Right now? Or just like always?

Speaker 2 I actually don't know what I'm saying when I say that. I don't know.
What does that mean, cool tone?

Speaker 2 I like to edit my Instagram pictures a little warmer.

Speaker 2 Was that give me an answer? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Warm at heart.

Speaker 2 Warm at heart. Well, it's because everyone likes a tan.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 But well, does having a tan affect it?

Speaker 2 Like if you're paler than normal, what's your color analysis? Like there's like the two types of fake tan, like the green or the purple. And doesn't that fall into like the cool or the warm? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's how you should do your under, so there's levels to this.

Speaker 1 There's totally levels. I will say something that stuck with me is you'll probably never catch me in neon.
I've just, no matter what I was, I don't think neon was on any spectrum for me.

Speaker 1 So you know what actually i think is more accurate your contrast level have you heard of like low medium or high contrast that i think is very true yeah that's like if you're pale but you've got like darker features like hair eyebrows that's a high contrast so just like literally think if you put yourself in black and white like is it high or low yeah and i've taken that because i'm like medium contrast so no matter what the color is as long as i go with like like this shade of gray maybe you know i'm chilling.

Speaker 1 That's what I tell myself. You're good.

Speaker 2 Now, no neon colors, but were growing up. What color was your childhood bedroom? Were you not a bright green and bright pink girly?

Speaker 1 Oh, what was that like for you? 100%

Speaker 1 a fuchsia wallpaper with a fuchsia shade carpet. And I had magazine cutouts all over one wall.
And I even had a chalk wall. So we went really into it.

Speaker 2 Alona had a magnet wall. Alona had my mom painted like a magnetic paint under her.
So one of her walls, you could put magnets on on it. What is your sibling dynamic?

Speaker 2 So, do you have siblings, Victoria?

Speaker 1 I'm the middle child between two boys.

Speaker 2 Oh, bless you.

Speaker 2 Wow. How is that? Give us an insight into what that's like.
I'm a middle child with two girls, and I feel like it, it's pretty nice.

Speaker 1 It's nice to have been someone who had an older sibling. So, you could like, you know, have them pave the way or be protective or like kind of, yeah, take care of you.

Speaker 1 But then also to be an older sibling to your youngest and get to kind of take out the, yeah, now I'm the the boss kind of vibe. So I really enjoyed being a middle child and the only girl.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I liked having an older brother for sure, especially because,

Speaker 1 yeah, I feel like you just, you idolized your older sibling. Do you feel that way, Alona, or no?

Speaker 2 Well, how much older was your brother?

Speaker 1 Three years older than me.

Speaker 2 Olivia and I were very like similar in age and similar in grade. So I don't know if it was idolized, but like whatever she was doing, I would, I would be doing it as well.

Speaker 2 so i feel like for her i would have but we were just kind of the

Speaker 2 whatever she did i did so she got missed out on that i think maybe adrana idolizes her i think i idolize both of you but then i also had like a deep sometimes disdain because oftentimes they were so successful and like all their sports and stuff that i was like no i have to do that right right um but i you know i think as a younger sister i jealous of what you guys wear and doing all that because you're like that's so cool victoria do you think like those brothers and i I hear about brothers making helping you become a great athlete?

Speaker 2 Do you think they're one of the reasons that

Speaker 2 or even just Siblings Dennis you became such a great athlete? Was it because of them? Like, did you wrestle? Did they push you? What happened there?

Speaker 1 For sure. I definitely would say I have thick skin because of my brothers.
My older brother played golf at UCLA and then professionally for about five years.

Speaker 1 So definitely I feel like I learned work ethic from him. Like I remember one time he like woke me up on a weekend and was like, you're either getting better, you're getting worse.

Speaker 1 Like we're going to work out. So, I definitely feel like seeing his dedication to golf, which he almost had like an obsession just because he loved the sport so much, definitely influenced me.

Speaker 1 And then I remember, like, if he came to watch my club games, I'd get all nervous. Like, I got to play well because he's watching me.

Speaker 2 Oh, my gosh. That's that.
We felt the same with my sisters at least was like.

Speaker 2 Olivia and I always played the same sport. And I guess for us, it was like always try, not competition, but like, you know, you see her being good, you want to rise to that level as well.

Speaker 2 And I wonder if like that,

Speaker 2 maybe we do a study on athletes, whether or not they're best with their siblings. That's that would be an interesting study.

Speaker 1 I know you guys were talking about the only children with Kylie. So I wonder if we took the data further and evaluated.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be too surprised if they all had older siblings who were beating them up.

Speaker 2 Did you find that your parents being the only girl treated you any differently? Or was it kind of like, if your brothers do it, I'm going to do it?

Speaker 1 I actually actually was thinking about this the other day because I think the whole nature nurture conversation and debate is like so fascinating to me.

Speaker 1 Like, would I be the same me if I grew up in a different family, you know? And I feel like because maybe I had two boys around me, my dad never like. made me think I couldn't do what they could do.

Speaker 1 Like if they were driving a wave runner, I was. If they were learning to tie a knot at a lake, I was tying the knot.
Like, so I think I got a lot of my

Speaker 1 sense of self-esteem from being told, hey, if a guy can do it, I can do it too. So, I feel grateful for that, that they weren't like, oh no, you're the girl.
So stay inside and don't get dirty today.

Speaker 1 Like, I was out there playing kick the can and sardines with them.

Speaker 2 That was similar to our dad as well. Even though he all had girls, he was like, I'm not going to treat them any differently than I would my sons.

Speaker 2 And I think that really was refreshing that both our dads felt that way. Like, yeah, okay, that's my daughter, but she's going to be, you know, as strong, as powerful as can be.

Speaker 2 Good job, dads.

Speaker 1 Good job. Your dad's an OG girl dad.

Speaker 2 Yeah, truly. Big time.
Big time girl dad. One thing we wanted to talk about is like having arguments as a couple is normal.

Speaker 2 And something that you kind of talk about on your social media channels is like, I think people sometimes put out this idealist.

Speaker 2 version of their relationship that we see like they show the best pictures they show the best tick tocks of them just being the most in love but actually behind the scenes that we don't see is the is actually it's not that what I've loved about your refreshing content is like being very real about that and I think kind of shows like how relationships are not always easy and I think that talking about that breaks the the stereotype of like oh no it's perfect I love him all the time he's literally the best yeah for sure you know and I think

Speaker 1 Every couple is like getting in arguments. That's the reality of it.
You're never like not going to have an off week or a fight.

Speaker 1 And Max and I recently went on like a two-night staycation because I felt like we haven't been spending enough like quality time together. He's like, what do you mean? Every night we're both home.

Speaker 1 I'm like, but you're watching one show and I'm watching another. So that does not count to me.
I'm like, we need to be doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 So I felt like I kind of like kidnapped him and was like, we're going to go on this vacation.

Speaker 1 And then we got in like a really big argument like during the Saturday, which is like, you know, you go the night before, this is your one big day and then you go home.

Speaker 1 So obviously that was like so defeating because you're like, I just want us to be like having so much fun right now.

Speaker 1 I think also when you go on vacation with your partner, there is this pressure of like, okay, this is just going to be perfect. And yeah, we got in an argument.

Speaker 2 Like it, it, it,

Speaker 1 it, it's so layered, but it was triggered by me really thinking this is all about us. And he took a quick work call in the morning, which I'm like, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 And then it's like minute five, minute 10. I'm giving him the eyes of like, why are you taking a phone call? And he's giving me the eyes of, it's a 10 minute call.

Speaker 1 Like you were on your phone, you know, whatever it is. And that kind of started the dialogue.
And then it, you know, became this bigger thing about also not communicating.

Speaker 1 Like for me to say to him, hey, today is really important to me. I have a schedule in my mind of how it's going to go.
And you taking a call is not in my mental itinerary.

Speaker 1 And then he's like, what do you mean? We just had this beautiful breakfast together.

Speaker 2 We were about to play pickleball.

Speaker 1 Like, why can't I take this call? So that was what triggered it to be super transparent.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, I wasn't going to post about it on social media because I actually thought he was going to be the one that didn't want me to share that.

Speaker 1 And then when I sent him like the post I was planning to post, he was like, you could, you could say that we got in a fight.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay, because I always love when I can add that real element because like you said, like Alona Aided, that is the truth.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I think just being open about it. And now I feel like we're so connected and we're so in flow because we like popped the bubble.
You need to pop the bubble when it comes.

Speaker 2 What does that mean? Or like, is that how you guys, you know, navigate a fight? Or what does that look like for you?

Speaker 1 I feel like we try to not let things fester.

Speaker 1 So like, if it's pinching you, or if you were upset by something and then you just like brushed through it, we actually have this analogy of like, you know, that messy chair in your room.

Speaker 1 And it's like when you're in a relationship and you, someone annoys you, you can either like both do the laundry, fold it and put it back in the drawer, or you can throw it on the chair and be like, I'll deal with it another day or I'm annoyed.

Speaker 1 So I think sometimes when you're just so busy with work and life, you just, the chair starts piling up. And then before you know it, you have so many shirts, so many pants, so many socks.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that's like what happened to us.

Speaker 1 And we're human, like Max is so sweet. He's always like, we got to give ourselves grace, cut ourselves slack.
You know, you've been busy, I've been busy.

Speaker 1 But, you know, it was a good reset so that now actually the other day, coming out of the fight, one of our big revelations was he lets a lot brush over his shoulders.

Speaker 1 And then when I go to him with something, that's when he like brings in all of his baggage too. And I'm like, that's not fair.

Speaker 1 I literally explained to him, I'm like, it's like we're in court and I've called the court to prove that there's paint on the wall.

Speaker 1 And so if you bring up something else, it's like, Your Honor hearsay, like we're here to prove paints on the wall.

Speaker 1 So I gave him that analogy of like, if I'm calling the meeting, it's, although I should be more open, I'm stubborn, I'm a tourist.

Speaker 1 It's very hard for my ego not to tunnel vision on the argument that I've. brought to the table.

Speaker 1 So I've been encouraging him instead of like letting those things build up, like, I want you to tell me when I do something that annoys you.

Speaker 1 And then we're both like laughing because he knows he doesn't do it. He's scared.
And I'm like, but I need to be better at receiving. So we love survivor.

Speaker 1 So just to kind of lighten the mood, I was like, okay, I'm definitely going to need a warning when you're going to come to give me some criticism because.

Speaker 1 My ego is working on the fact that I'm not a perfect wife. So I was like, if you could just do something to let me know, we're about to enter a space where I'm going to be criticized.

Speaker 1 I think it would help me be able to receive it. And so he was like, okay, what if I say I'm going to call like tribal council? And I was like, perfect.

Speaker 2 Well, once again, a lively tribal. Is there anything left unsaid?

Speaker 1 So yesterday he like called tribal council and I was like, okay. And I like held my palms open because I'm like, I need to receive.
And he basically just, it was something about 4th of July.

Speaker 1 He's like, when I brought up this plan, you immediately shot it down and said, but what am I going to do? And I want you to know I'm thinking of you. I'm not going to abandon you on a holiday weekend.

Speaker 1 You know, and I was like, you're right.

Speaker 1 My first remark wasn't fair to you so i mean that's like tmi but i am tmi kind of gal so ask and you'll receive right and there's definitely a vulnerable vulnerableness if that's the right word about your content too because like

Speaker 2 I mean, you're sharing it so much. Does it also help you in a way to share all that? Because I know that it helps so many other people when they see it.

Speaker 2 But I also found kind of even sharing my body positive stuff kind of helps me in a way, like putting it out there.

Speaker 1 Definitely. I think you feel the weight off your shoulder because you're living authentically and like living with your heart on your sleeve.

Speaker 1 And I found that once I found how to be vulnerable and seek help and work on myself and then know what it's like to just live and be myself 100% of the time, you don't like ever want to go back.

Speaker 1 You just want to be transparent.

Speaker 1 My family, we're Greek, so we would call it like it is all the time. So I'm not a like sweep it under the rug kind of girl.

Speaker 1 So yeah, it definitely helps me, but I've certainly learned how to create some of my own little boundaries where like, I don't go to Instagram to say I had a negative body image day that day, or I don't say we had a fight the day we had the fight.

Speaker 1 It's usually like two or three days later when I feel confident and like I'm good in my own life because as you know, you're going to get a bunch of comments. Some not might not be supportive.

Speaker 1 They might be critical. And I don't want to be in a state where my wound is open when the world gives their opinion.
So I like to be like three steps ahead of the thing and then I share it.

Speaker 2 I think that can be applied to so much. Like I remember growing up, if I would ever get mad at a friend or my sisters, like my mom would always tell us, like, don't do anything right now.

Speaker 2 Like, sleep on it just because you're feeling so raw and that your reaction is going to change in a few days. So it's,

Speaker 2 I don't think of myself when I'm in that moment of like, that's my true self. I'm like, this is me at like a heightened experience.
Like, I got to let myself simmer down.

Speaker 2 And I think, and especially when others are going to comment on it, like tenfold. Like let yourself simmer down before you openly, like willingly face all this like criticism or just

Speaker 2 comments.

Speaker 2 But then it's so great how vocal you are about like that you give yourself that time, but does that doesn't mean like we're not fighting and everything, everything's perfect.

Speaker 2 Like, I swear, I've just been able to ground myself in what, what's actually important and now I can bring it to my audience.

Speaker 2 So I think that they probably really both appreciate your realness, but then that you are also honest about like, I've taken my time. I know where my head's at, but people fight.
This is how it works.

Speaker 2 That's just like love. And you work together to make it better.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Adriana, I think you bring up a great point about like the space.
Cause I used to think, you know, never go to bed angry meant like always solve it the day that it happens.

Speaker 1 But sometimes you need time. Like I remember one time Max and I were in an argument and I was like,

Speaker 1 I'm just going to go get our groceries. Like I was planning to.
And then when I come home, we'll finish because I was like, I need an hour to like. cool off and breathe and put myself in his shoes.

Speaker 1 So I think, you know, for people out there, yeah, whether it's your best friend, your parents, or a relationship, it's super powerful to sleep on it and take a day and then make sure you're coming at it like as your best self.

Speaker 1 You know, I feel like sometimes I'll say, I'm not going to, I can't be the best version of myself right now. So I need like an hour.

Speaker 2 Thank you to TJ Maxx for sponsoring this episode of House of Mar.

Speaker 2 They literally gave us mission to just be ourselves, which I think is what we are best at. So I have to ask, what's something you've done lately that felt most you?

Speaker 2 I would probably say walking walking a runway in a bikini. And I think that doing it, you know, showing my confidence in things helps others.

Speaker 2 Olivia, what recently has been making you feel true to you? I've been getting really into like solo dates. I just took myself on a solo outing in New York City.

Speaker 2 Like, my goal was look, like, dress up, feel good, go get a dirty martini. Daxy was also just so nice to show up for myself.
That's so sweet.

Speaker 2 Dre baby, is there anything that has been going on in your life that just screams, Adriana?

Speaker 2 I think fully embracing a New York summer, Making time to see my friends and doing things that get us out of our comfort zone and doing things we haven't done before.

Speaker 2 I love watching you live that New York City dream.

Speaker 4 Chronic spontaneous urticaria or chronic hives with no known cause. It's so unpredictable.
It's like playing pinball.

Speaker 4 Itchy red bumps start on my arm, then my back,

Speaker 4 sometimes my legs. Hives come out of nowhere

Speaker 4 and it comes and goes. But I just found out about a treatment option at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 1 Take that, chronic hives.

Speaker 4 Learn more at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 2 Giga Maxin just sponsored this episode. They handed us the mic.
So now let's get back into the episode. Should we move into some tea time, everyone? I think we should.
Welcome to tea time.

Speaker 2 Let's get into it.

Speaker 2 Victoria, you are, you founded Hidden Opponent, which is an amazing platform, amazing nonprofit for mental health, athletes' mental health, which you have graciously selected me to be on the board of.

Speaker 2 Honored, honored. But I also want to learn more about your journey as an athlete.
Because I mean, we're all athletes here. You've played D1.
I've played D1 and then on.

Speaker 2 And I mean, the struggles that we go through, I think.

Speaker 2 I can still remember some basketball practices from high school that literally were a nightmare.

Speaker 2 So I guess, when did that start for you, this mental health and sports and knowing, like, I'm imagining you've played elite level, you know, travel ball or whatever that really tested you.

Speaker 1 Definitely. Real quick, I do want to say on the record, I was thinking about this this morning, Alona.
We're so grateful to have you on the board.

Speaker 1 And I just was so blown away and will never forget that when we were having our call about it, you were like, and I really want to be involved. Like, I don't want this to just be a title.

Speaker 1 I don't want this to just be something like frilly. I really want to make an impact.

Speaker 1 And I thought that that that was so badass because I do think there are athletes in prominent positions who can, you know, be doing something, but not really doing it.

Speaker 1 And I think it speaks to like your character and how much you care about helping others and helping athletes.

Speaker 1 So I just wanted to say that out there for all your fans to know they're supporting a real one. And then to your question,

Speaker 1 I actually had

Speaker 1 a pretty great experience playing elite level volleyball in high school and I was very confident. And it really wasn't until I got under that spotlight of division one.

Speaker 1 And I think there was like the perfect melting pot because my freshman year, we were the number one team in the country, number one seed in the tournament.

Speaker 1 And we had the national player of the year on our team. And I was starting as a freshman.
So it was like, I went from being like on my club team, we're like, we're crushing it.

Speaker 1 to now playing with someone who's the best college volleyball player, literally standing next to me.

Speaker 1 And like, holy shit, if I shank a pass, if I miss my my serve, if I make a mistake, I can't make a mistake. You know, that's what I told myself.

Speaker 1 So I feel like I jumped into this place where the pressure was so, so high and I wasn't prepared. I didn't have the tools.
I didn't even have the verbiage, performance anxiety.

Speaker 1 I didn't ever think I'm someone who could become depressed. The mental health conversation felt so like that's not going to happen to me

Speaker 1 that as it snuck up on me and did become me and I struggle with performance anxiety and depression.

Speaker 1 I was felt like I was just my world completely flipped upside down.

Speaker 1 And that's what made me want to talk about my experience and kind of like pull up a megaphone and be like, there's an athlete mental health crisis.

Speaker 1 And this was in 2017 because I was looking at my teammates, looking at me, the girls I was playing against, like no one's talking about this.

Speaker 1 So that's really how it started was feeling like I was completely caught off guard by my own struggles. And then when I realized, hey, I'm not flawed.
I'm not a bad person.

Speaker 1 I'm someone who's in an environment that's very intense, full of pressure. And I just didn't have the tools to adapt to that and to navigate it.
So once I started going to therapy and realized

Speaker 2 that, hey,

Speaker 1 this is a reality of my environment and it's totally okay to seek help the same way we would go get our ankles taped. Why not see a therapist so that you can help your mind?

Speaker 1 That's really what gave me the courage to then like give my TEDx talk and start talking about it.

Speaker 2 One thing that you also talk about well is like life after sport, which is something I haven't gone through yet. Like I haven't had to define myself as not an athlete.

Speaker 2 Like I'm still the rugby player and I'm so, I love being the rugby player. Like I wanted to be Alona, the rugby player before it's content creator, influencer, whatever it is.

Speaker 2 So I haven't even had to figure that out yet.

Speaker 2 And I think that's something like I'll have to tune into, you know, after LA, even with you, like figuring out what your identity is and how that affected you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a journey. I similarly didn't want to give up the title.

Speaker 1 I felt like I, yeah, if I'm not this USC volleyball player, because a lot of my early business days really started because of that. Like I was vlogging my day in the life.

Speaker 1 I was speaking at schools and it was like USC volleyball player Victoria. So the farther and farther I got removed from that, I had to realize like

Speaker 1 I'm, I have to be more than this and I have to find other things that I can attach to or identify with and realize that like, I'm whole still.

Speaker 1 And it was definitely a journey, especially when I felt like I had an audience that came to me because of something.

Speaker 1 And now I'm like getting married and I'm posting about my outfit and I'm like, I'm just in a different place in life. And I don't have a story to tell you about my anxiety at practice today.

Speaker 1 I don't go to practice anymore. Yeah, I went like, am I going to be interesting to people? Are they going to care about me anymore?

Speaker 1 Like, I really struggled with, with those thoughts, but I think at the end of the day, and I like to tell this to other student athletes or anyone who feels tied to something that's going to end eventually is like, all of the attributes that make you good at that are you.

Speaker 1 Like the fact that I worked well with others, I liked being a leader. I could push myself.
I set a goal and I achieved it.

Speaker 1 Like all of the things that made me a great volleyball player are still things I can do in business as a podcaster, in whatever it is. It's just not in the sport of volleyball.

Speaker 1 So I think when we feel like, oh my God, who am I now? It's not who are you? It's just what are you going to do? Because you still possess all of those traits.

Speaker 2 I never really had that transition. I stopped playing after high school and it wasn't.
I was more forced to by the by our parents, but I've been going through that recently.

Speaker 2 I've just, I left my position at a nonprofit and I've been kind of like floundering of like, how do I define myself? Like that identity is gone.

Speaker 2 And it's something that like I've seen with other people. Like I've had friends who have gotten like divorced and now they're divorcees and they were so like

Speaker 2 the titles that they had and like the identities that we give ourselves are so intertwined. And once it's kind of like ripped away from you, having to find your feet again.

Speaker 2 Do you have any tips for people that are now navigating transitions like this? Like, what is your like number?

Speaker 2 Like you said, the other things that are great about you are what make you you, you know, your communication with other people Do you have any exercises that you would go through or that you might recommend to somebody getting divorced somebody changing jobs like that kind of thing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, I honestly think the last couple years I've been exploring more like what it means to have an identity and give myself a label and like put myself in a box and realize that I can actually be so many different things.

Speaker 1 Like I'll find myself putting myself in a box of like, I could tell myself, hey, you're the founder of a nonprofit, like a charity. Don't post this picture from a Cabo bachelorette.

Speaker 1 But then I'm like, no, I'm paving a new way where like I can be the founder of a charity and pop off with my friends like in Cabo.

Speaker 1 So I think I'm, you can be, you can do it all is something I would say to anyone feeling like I've got to box myself in.

Speaker 1 And then for anyone navigating like change in life, I like to tell myself that this is teaching me something and it's preparing me for whatever's coming in the future and the version I need to be in those moments.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 that's been something that's very, very much helped me. And then

Speaker 1 also I

Speaker 1 love this book called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. This is getting very nerdy, but he talks a lot about ego and self.

Speaker 1 And that's been super helpful for me is connecting more to like self and not so much the words that I tell myself in my head. So I guess something I'd say is pick up that book.

Speaker 1 And I actually did a, it's kind of dense. So I did a read-along series with my best friend on RealPod called So Much to Say.
If the material gets way too high level, we us, we break it down.

Speaker 2 Speaking of RealPod, Alona, you were on RealPod after Tokyo, right? I was and I was unwell.

Speaker 2 That was a really tough time for me mentally.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I went on RealPod. That was now four years ago about.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.

Speaker 2 I should watch it again because

Speaker 2 I don't remember a lot from that time. I was really in a spooky place.
I should watch that and just see how I was feeling. You know, I think it was a weird

Speaker 2 going through sport. As you've probably known,

Speaker 2 when you don't like, you have a goal and it doesn't get there and you kind of feel like you fail miserably as athletes. It's like, well, that's it.
I'm worthless. You know, I didn't do what I wanted.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I think that's why I'm loving what what the hidden opponent is doing.

Speaker 2 Cause also what I, when I remember talking to you, I thought it was interesting because being on the board, I'm one of the few who's like, no, I'm still playing. I'm still in it.

Speaker 2 I'm still every day dealing with this mental health. So I love that I can kind of bring that in as well.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I think, and something you probably think is mental health is never like figured it out. All good.
I am completely fine. I know how to do it.
We're cured. I'm okay.

Speaker 2 I cannot wait till we're all back together for summer in Vermont. Until we get there, which hopefully is soon.

Speaker 2 I've been gathering my favorite items from Wayfair for my apartment so I can feel at home even in my AC Les San Diego room.

Speaker 2 I just got these cute outdoor lights for my balcony because you know I love my outdoor space. Wayfair is more than just like their outdoor furniture.
I can furnish this whole room with them.

Speaker 2 And actually, I have my dresser, my mattress, which I love. But I've got some more like decor things that I want to get.
You can buy anything from decor to poolside poolside lounge chairs.

Speaker 2 Dare I say, you know, things for the beach too, being here in California. You can also get a grill.

Speaker 2 It's all on Wayfair, and you can buy Cornhole, which, if I had enough balcony space, just maybe I would get that. Make sure to shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and way more for way less.

Speaker 2 Head to Wayfair.com right now to explore a huge outdoor selection. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.
Wayfair. Every style, every home.
It's so wild. I mean, what made you you want to start RealPod?

Speaker 2 What made you want to talk to all these people? Yeah. Like us, even.

Speaker 1 I, it's funny. I, we should, you should come back on when you feel like you're in a great state, which could be now, but, and we can do like a little side by side.

Speaker 1 Cause I felt for you during that interview, but I commended you for like going on a podcast, talking about where you were and like how cool that you have different versions of yourself documented and you don't just show up when things are going well.

Speaker 1 Like, I think that shows strength and is more admirable than people who only like come outside when everything smells like roses. But I started RealPod, my podcast, because

Speaker 1 I got so much out of pulling the curtain back and saying, hey, I'm not actually well and this is what I'm struggling with, that I wanted to invite people on to share what they are struggling with and going through.

Speaker 1 It's my favorite type of conversation to have. I feel so lucky that every time I sit down to interview someone, I'm like, yay, be to talk about deep shit.
Like, that's my favorite.

Speaker 1 So yeah, that's really what inspired it was I was kind of doing that on my Instagram. And then I wanted to invite other people to have the conversation.

Speaker 1 And all the time, I'll have people on and then be blown away at what they decide to share, what they're going through.

Speaker 1 And I've even caught myself judging them upon interviewing them and then having my mind completely opened when you learn what they're going through.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think it's so important to see everybody in every stage of whatever they're feeling and whatever they're doing.

Speaker 2 And in that same time, when Alona was feeling that way, is when she was becoming very big on TikTok and talking about that struggle. And Adriana and I were going, it's okay.

Speaker 2 You don't have to talk about that online. You don't have to be that, let people in that close to you.
It's okay. You can be protective of your peace and your space.

Speaker 2 And Alona was like, no, but like, this is actually what I'm feeling. Like, this is actually what I'm going through.
This is actually the struggle. So I'm going to put it out there.

Speaker 2 And we were like, hey, fair. You know, and people want to see that too.
Like, nobody's, nobody's perfect. Being a content creator myself and putting myself out there like that,

Speaker 2 I get a lot. I get a lot of comments, I get a lot of trolling and hate.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I deal with it by talking to them, by, you know, having a support group around you to say, like, no, that's not true. No, don't believe that guy.

Speaker 2 How are you kind of dealing with that as well? Because I know that with putting yourself out there, you put yourself out there so vulnerably. I keep using that freaking word.

Speaker 2 But then that opens up to so much

Speaker 2 criticism and

Speaker 2 hate at times, trolling, just meanness.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was very hard for me at certain times. Like, if I posted something and I saw it got on the wrong side of TikTok,

Speaker 1 I would get very anxious. Like, I couldn't think about anything.
I remember one time I was walking into a movie and a video was going viral in like the wrong way.

Speaker 1 And I needed to leave the theater like 15 minutes in to delete the post because I was like, okay, that just like makes me feel better. Like, the hate can't be coming, or whatever it was.

Speaker 1 But now I think think I've been exposing myself to it more. I'm a huge believer in exposure therapy.

Speaker 1 And I'm now try to get this keyword, like this little cue of like, hmm, is that so? And it's like, if someone's like, oh, she's so annoying, is that so? And then someone's like, oh, I love her.

Speaker 1 Is that so? I'm like just letting it all try to like flow past me and not take it so seriously. Cause I really believe, you know, to believe the good reviews is to believe the bad.

Speaker 1 So the more I allow the praise to affect me, obviously on the other side of that, the negativity is going to affect me with the same weight. So I've tried to really.

Speaker 1 narrow my compass down to just the people in my life who really know me.

Speaker 1 I know that I can count 10 people who would have my back no matter what, who would never treat me differently if a video this or a post that.

Speaker 1 So I think that that's been really helpful is now that I've been in this industry for so many years, redefining like who I allow to validate me and recognizing that it's okay to be misunderstood.

Speaker 1 Some people aren't going to like me. I wish everyone liked me, but I've had to let that go.
Are any of you guys people pleasers? Because I definitely identify as one.

Speaker 2 Raise your hands.

Speaker 2 All hands are raised.

Speaker 2 I will say that's something that I deal with often. Even now, I have that trouble where I'm like, oh, I want people to like me.

Speaker 2 One thing that my mom said to me once that really stuck with me was like, Well, you don't like everybody, and I was like, Dang, that's deep, woman. But I deal with that, and I deal with that.
Like,

Speaker 2 I want people to think that I'm funny, I want people to think that I'm pretty. I'm, there's so many things, and you get caught up.
And so, it's so interesting to me.

Speaker 2 I'll get a hundred thousand positive comments, and then I get one moment who says something mean, and I'm like, Well, that's it. Well, that guy hates me.

Speaker 2 It's just that it's been, that's something I'm learning, learning. And I think I have to get better at it.

Speaker 1 Something that might help, my therapist told me this, especially in relation to comments, is know and accept that 20% of people will always be negative, criticize, and not like you. 20%.

Speaker 1 So when you see those comments, just tell yourself, it's in the 20% bucket. Because like, chances are, you're never going to really be seeing more than that.

Speaker 1 You're probably seeing less, probably like 5%.

Speaker 1 But that helps me too. It's like, hey, we're starting at 80-20, no matter who you are.
You could literally be Mother Teresa and you have, can I say that?

Speaker 1 But you could be, you could be any person, the most angelic person, just 20% haters. So when they come up, just put them in there.
That's where they go. And it's always going to be there.

Speaker 2 I love that. Do you feel like you've gotten better at it with age? Have you felt like you really grown to know yourself? Like, do you think you could have handled this? at 24 what you're handling now?

Speaker 1 No, I definitely think that it's come with age and wisdom and therapy and working on myself. I'm 28.

Speaker 1 So I think that that's for sure been a factor. And also there's this Zoe Seldana.
I think it's a TikTok sound. And she's like, I love who I am.
I love my struggles.

Speaker 1 I love the way I've overcome my obstacles. It's like all about recognizing the shitty things you've been through and how you've handled them and like who you've become because of it.

Speaker 1 And I think I've had a lot of reflection recently of things in my life that at the time were like so devastating or so difficult or so hard.

Speaker 1 Like USC, like if I, I'm sure at the time I was like, I just don't want any performance anxiety. I don't want to be depressed.
I don't want to have an eating disorder.

Speaker 1 I just want everything to be perfect. If it was perfect, I literally wouldn't be here on this podcast with you.
Like this would not be my career. The hidden opponent wouldn't exist.

Speaker 1 Like, I think we have to, yeah, take that perspective of like, it's tough now, but it's going to allow you to be primed in a much better way for that similar similar obstacle in the future.

Speaker 2 I love that. I think people have too many regrets that

Speaker 2 if you regret all these things, you wouldn't be who you are. You wouldn't have gotten there.
There are some valid regrets, but

Speaker 2 like, I think it's part of life and the human experience.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have any regrets that come to mind?

Speaker 1 Because like, I could maybe think, oh, I wish I didn't say this one thing, but genuinely, I would not rewind the clock on anything because I feel grateful to love exactly this moment.

Speaker 2 I have one where like, it's actually was such a learning moment for me. I was really young and I went to the Netherlands with with our mom and I was young.

Speaker 2 I was like first grade or something like that and I we were out and about doing things seeing family going all over the place and one day I decided to like just watch TV like Dutch cartoons or something on the TV and my mom left to go get dinner with they asked if I wanted to come and they said and I was like no I just want to watch cartoons.

Speaker 2 I was so young but I literally remember like coming to in that moment like snapping into existence and being like, why would I say no? They're gone now. I'm missing out on that time.

Speaker 2 Like that regret, I remember crying about it coming back, being like, I'm so sorry I didn't come to dinner with you. Like, whatever.
My mom was like, What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 Like, we do dinner every night. Like, it doesn't matter.
But to me, it was such a forming moment where I've like, I lived in regret as a child of like, why would you not just do it?

Speaker 2 That to this day, I'm like, I'm going to go do that. I'm not going to sit around and be on my phone again for two seconds or for however long.
I'm going to go.

Speaker 2 Like, what does 80-year-old Olivia want to look back and see that I did? I'm going to go do it. I'm going to, I'm here now.
I'll hang out with the people.

Speaker 2 I'm gonna, oh man, I want, like, this person wants to hang out and get coffee. I'd really rather sit at home and like,

Speaker 2 I'm not doing that. I'm gonna go.
Like, that is a regret that's made me who I am.

Speaker 2 Because it, as a child, I was like, no, don't miss out on life as it's happening because you want to watch a cartoon that you can watch at any time within reason.

Speaker 2 Of course, you need time for yourself as well. But that's been a big regret of mine.
Damn, live.

Speaker 2 No, shit. That's that's kind of cool.
What a young, what a young, I love thinking back on our younger selves, what they've done to get to where we are now.

Speaker 2 And I mean, with you, Victoria, what your younger self has done has gotten you to the head and opponent, which was backed by Kobe Bryant.

Speaker 2 And I mean, the work that you've been doing, you've had campus captains throughout universities all over. You are changing the game for mental health.
You have a collab with Adidas.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm looking at it if anybody sees.

Speaker 2 For a 28, what does it take to be running a, to be a CEO? Are you CEO, right?

Speaker 1 I'm the founder. Lovely.
You're the founder. I I was the CEO for a few years.
And then with a lot in the pipeline, I was like, we're going to need someone else to do this.

Speaker 2 Well, how amazing. I mean, what has it taken?

Speaker 2 The way that you've grown, I can't imagine how much you've put into the hidden opponent.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.
It definitely has not just been me. It's been a team of people.
And I know you know Leanne and now Suzanne. So it's been amazing to have everybody be all hands on deck.

Speaker 1 But yeah, honestly,

Speaker 1 it's taken time. And obviously, slowly moving the needle every single day.
I love this, like, move the needle, move the needle.

Speaker 1 And I think back if you would have told me when I first founded it, you know,

Speaker 1 what do I want to happen? I would have been like, oh, I want these things, but I want them like in five months or this year. And I think it's year five for us at the Hidden Opponent.

Speaker 1 And this feels like the beginning

Speaker 1 in a fun way. Like this feels like the start of a new exciting chapter for the nonprofit.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I think for anyone out there who's passionate about building or something, knowing that it's going to take time and it might be five years down the line, you feel like you get your first break or your first, it makes sense, or you can now hire a CEO to be a part of it, or you can assemble a board, you could build something that Alona Marr decides she believes in, right?

Speaker 1 Like that doesn't happen overnight. That happens over years.
So I think, yeah, I'm just, I'm grateful for, um,

Speaker 1 I'm so grateful for the, the path and the way that I was like, I have no idea what this is going to be, how to do this formally, but we're just going to Google how to found a nonprofit, how to start a nonprofit, and we're going to file and figure it out as we go.

Speaker 1 I think nowadays people complicate things. They try to be perfect about it.
Like, what's the title? What's the name? How's it going to work? Let's do all.

Speaker 1 It's like, just be a good person, follow your heart, Google the thing, start it, figure it out. Like, be once again, be a good human.
And I think you'll attract. It's like build it and they will come.

Speaker 1 And I think that's really what what it's been about for me. And I'm grateful because as we talked about in the beginning, did we talk about this? I feel like I now am in a different place in my life.

Speaker 1 We did. So I'm no longer currently a student athlete, but I'm so grateful that the hidden opponent exists.
And today's student athletes and college kids can be the people talking about it.

Speaker 1 They can be the leaders. They can use the platform of THO.

Speaker 1 Because I think I would be, my heart would hurt if I was not able to really do work in that space anymore because I'm not like directly in it.

Speaker 1 So I've loved that it's kept me involved, even though a past, a past version of me, her struggles are like living on through now other people and professional athletes like yourself who are really spearheading this conversation.

Speaker 2 I love that you mentioned like doing it anyway because we talk a lot about do it scared. You know, it's going to get done.
You don't know the steps, but you'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 You're going to move the needle. It's going to happen any which way.
But you do talk a lot about perfectionism and like

Speaker 2 how you deal with that, which I love because I think anybody who makes content or is trying to make anything in the world that stops you so, so, so quickly.

Speaker 2 And so the fact that you've still been able to build this despite that, I think is so admirable.

Speaker 2 And one of my favorite quotes on perfectionism, which has helped me with my content, is perfectionism is the satin line coffin to creativity.

Speaker 2 Like you'll have the perfect coffin, but your creativity is dead in there because you didn't do anything with it. You didn't just post it.
You didn't just take the risk and start something and do it.

Speaker 2 So I think what you've been able to build despite is just so incredible.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I appreciate that.
I didn't even realize how like bad my perfectionism was until literally recently in like a therapy session. I was like, wait, I don't have that.

Speaker 1 And she was like, yes, you do.

Speaker 1 But I've tried to catch myself. Like, you know, if I'm getting way too into details, I have an amazing brand director.
I work with Jenna.

Speaker 1 And she told me once, respectfully, she's like, you and I could do this. We could write the same sentence.

Speaker 1 It's not going to be word for word verbatim, but the sentence is going to communicate the same thing. And like, basically, she's saying, it's going to be done differently if you don't do it.

Speaker 1 And you can't do everything. And you have to, like, you know, if you're, especially if you're growing a business, you have to delegate, do, delegate, delete.

Speaker 1 And delegation has been hard for me as a perfectionist. But then once you master it, you're like, oh my God, this is amazing.
How do I delegate like my life every day?

Speaker 1 Like, I don't, someone else do it and let me know if it was a good day.

Speaker 2 I just wanted to slide in that, Alona, when you were on RealPod all those years ago, despite your mental state, you said out loud, what I want to do is be, or is, you know, be with Sports Illustrated swimsuit.

Speaker 2 And here you're here. Manifesting, Victoria and I are

Speaker 2 manifesting.

Speaker 2 You're trying to get something done. Go on RealPod and say it out loud or this one.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I had a friend say her New Year's resolution was to get engaged. She's engaged now.
So the manifesting on the show.

Speaker 2 It works. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 Come on and tell me who your dream man is.

Speaker 2 Everyone gets 15 seconds to say something.

Speaker 1 Wait, the sports illustrated, how was that? The photos were iconic. I was like gagged looking at them.
Yours, so like it radiates, like the sexiness is off the charts.

Speaker 2 Thank you. I loved it.
I felt hot as heck.

Speaker 2 I think it's like,

Speaker 2 I, you know, people ask, how was it being in a bikini? Again, I just think it's so cool to be able to showcase my body in that sort of way. And I think people really love it.

Speaker 2 And you do it on your channel as well, like just showing,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 I think that's something something about us is like my content is for,

Speaker 2 you know, muscular girls, bigger girls. Your content is for like mid-sized girls.
Like, I love that we can be creators for people, you know.

Speaker 2 So, I was seeing it to Instagram recently of like, follow those people who look like you, who, who, you know, you see yourself in. I think that just can be really helpful.

Speaker 2 So, I love that girls can see my SI, see my bikini photos if they have the same build as me and be like, okay, look at her. Like, look at her being herself, feeling confident in it.

Speaker 2 So, I just think it's so cool to see the the many different body types on social media. And I think we need that.

Speaker 2 I do, and I do suggest to the girls out there, follow the people who you see yourself in. Follow those who aren't putting out the most perfect image

Speaker 2 because it definitely, it definitely helps.

Speaker 1 I literally followed someone the other day, and then I thought, is following this person going to make me think I need to buy new clothes every single week?

Speaker 1 And I was like, unfollow, because I saw this video and I was like, oh my God, I love her style. I love her haul.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, wait, but I don't, I don't think this is actually going to make me me feel good in my current life. It's going to make me need the new next thing.

Speaker 1 So yeah, curate that algorithm for you. If it doesn't make you feel good, block.

Speaker 2 How have you actually been doing with, I mean, we talk about a lot, but like your own body image with being online and with the,

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's an epidemic, but like, you know, the, this, this thinness epidemic and changing your body and seeing all this. How are you combating that?

Speaker 2 Or, or, you know, how, how do you deal with it? It's hard.

Speaker 1 It's so hard i saw another day it's like we lost another one like there was a girl who i like loved that she had her body and it made me feel good and i looked at her and i can't make assumptions but she

Speaker 1 it's not the same um and so that's that's hard that's hard and honestly at first i was very triggered because i think my whole life That's what I wanted.

Speaker 1 I want a magic pill that will make me lose 20 pounds. And I feel like that's basically what came out with these GLP ones.
And so when it first came out, I was like, yeah, part of me was triggered.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, this thing exists that I would have taken if I was 18. But now I'm, you know, I don't remember.
It was like a year or two ago when this all came out.

Speaker 1 Remember when we didn't know the word Ozempic? Like, can we go back to those times?

Speaker 1 Please, they were historic.

Speaker 1 So at first I was triggered and then I was able to be like,

Speaker 1 I empathize with people who don't feel good in their body and they need to, whatever any woman needs to do to feel good in her skin and enjoy her life. I want her to do that.

Speaker 1 I think I'm just really big on transparency.

Speaker 1 I think, you know, I've never liked when a celebrity gets plastic surgery and then I see a poor 14 year old girl in a gym doing a hundred butt crunches and I'm like, sweetie, you're not going to get the butt by doing those.

Speaker 1 Like it's, the butt's not real. But then the influencer, the celebrity is not being transparent, that it's a BBL, right?

Speaker 1 So I think for me, like as long as we can be authentic and transparent, that's what matters. But

Speaker 1 now I think, I think it's just more important than ever to be posting like body positive videos and showing how you look from different angles and your size of your clothes, because I think we need that energy to remind people, sometimes even myself, that like we don't all have to be super stick, stick thin.

Speaker 2 And that's something that I do is like I post constantly body positivity because it's never gonna end. Like this battle will never end.

Speaker 2 And for every time they see a video of me being positive, and it's not even like body positivity, it's like I like to say body appreciation because, shoot, you know, you and I both, like everyone on this call, we don't love our bodies all the time, but like, can we learn to appreciate it?

Speaker 2 But like, I post a body, I post a video about that. And then, you know, two down is something that completely is the opposite of that.
So it just feels like it's a constant battle.

Speaker 2 So I commend you for continuously putting that out there. And I, I mean, I, I also, though, I understand how tough it is because

Speaker 2 I see these women who do change themselves. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 dang, I, but it's hard. I don't know how to explain it.

Speaker 1 It's so hard. We've been programmed since we were literally born and we could consume media to believe that we all need to be smaller.
Like literally, there's no end in sight.

Speaker 1 Just be smaller, be skinnier, wear

Speaker 1 a smaller number clothing. So it's really doing a lot of unlearning to realize that like every body is going to have a set set point weight that's different and not the same.

Speaker 1 And all types of bodies are beautiful. And it's really like overexposing and over-indexing in the other direction.

Speaker 1 Because, yeah, you could spend a week on like the wrong side of TikTok and Instagram, and that can really get in your head. But I've really set up a lot of boundaries with myself.

Speaker 1 I don't weigh myself, I don't count my calories, I don't comment on my friends' bodies, I don't expect people to comment on mine.

Speaker 1 I, you know, I like you said, I follow accounts that make me feel good about myself, and I just try to take my time and reset and remember that peace with my body and food is my priority.

Speaker 1 Being at peace with your body and food

Speaker 1 is what I want, not being in a certain dress size, not being, because if I'm in that dress size, I'm thinking about food 24-7, because guess what? That's not my natural weight.

Speaker 1 That's not my weight when I enjoy my life. So I always come back to what do I really want? And it's peace with my body and peace with food.
And that means living my life the way I'm doing it now.

Speaker 2 I think it's such a journey, as Alota's talking about, like you're always learning. Your body's always changing.

Speaker 2 The older you get, you're constantly meeting new versions of yourself as you keep changing and your body changes. For me, I don't weigh myself either.
I, but I, I say accidentally stepped on a scale.

Speaker 2 I was, I was weighing like luggage and it was the kind of like the luggage was too big to just put on the scale.

Speaker 1 So I was like, I got to get on that thing and then subtract my weight from that.

Speaker 2 I was like, let's do it. I was like, let's go, girl, get on there.
and i got on there and i was like

Speaker 2 like i saw the weight and i was like wait a second and like of course what your initial reaction is like panic like freak out society says that's not right but then again i'm 5'11.

Speaker 2 there's a lot of women here i gotta be that weight to like walk around essentially you know and so at first that number was really in my head and then i was looking in the mirror i was like okay if that's the number but why do i look so good though you know but that's taken a lot of learning and it's weird enough i think social media has helped me me because it take a while, it took a while, but I do post my body in bathing suits, and I do more of that exposure therapy.

Speaker 2 Where at first, I'd be like, Oh, I don't like the way my this arm looks here, or I wish I wasn't posing like that. But it's like, hey, that's what I look like, though.

Speaker 2 That's what I look like, and I'm gonna put it out there. And that feels kind of rebellious in today's day and age, and maybe it's gonna help somebody else feel better about themselves, too.

Speaker 2 But I hear you.

Speaker 1 And I think, like, confidence is honestly the sexiest, most physically attractive thing about a person is like when you're just confident in who you are.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I have friends in the modeling industry who will say the most beautiful women on paper, right, to society standards are the ones on set who are like feeling the most insecure or still feeling like they're not perfect in some way.

Speaker 1 I've had, I had, I don't know if you guys know Emily Di Donato, but she's a gorgeous supermodel. She was the aqua de Joya girl when we were growing up.

Speaker 1 And I had her on my podcast and she was talking about how she was not feeling herself, so not in a great place, being told by people she wasn't good enough for jobs.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, I remember walking through an airport thinking, that's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. And if I could look like that girl, I'd have no problems.

Speaker 1 And then here I am years later interviewing that girl, and she's saying, that was the worst I'd ever felt.

Speaker 1 So really, like, it's, it's so, it's to love yourself now, to accept yourself and realize that you're, you're worthy of love now, you're worthy of enjoying your life now.

Speaker 2 Eat the food you want to eat, move your body because it deserves to be moved, not not because you hate it you know all of that stuff is so important to rewire it is an ongoing battle and we will keep fighting a good fight here sold again everybody so strong soldiers everyone join hands now okay

Speaker 2 okay everyone welcome to our book nook we're big book people too as well victoria and can we already kind of talked about it but this book that you've read eckhart tolls a new earth do you have from it like

Speaker 2 one transformative idea from it that really just stuck with you or give us a little bit more about it? Because we are bookies, we want to know.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 I do. This is like my dream question.
Also, super fun fact, but my best friend Aubrey and I were just on Oprah Winfrey's

Speaker 1 YouTube show. She interviewed us with Eckhart about our book club podcast, So Much to Say.
So that was really cool for us to talk to Oprah and Eckhart IRL.

Speaker 1 Well, it was remote, but it felt like as real real as it's going to get. But here's one of my favorite quotes from his book that I love so much.

Speaker 1 It says, life will give you whatever experienced is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need?

Speaker 1 Because this is the experience you're having at this moment.

Speaker 2 Did that make sense?

Speaker 2 I think I need to read it a few times, but I got the general shooting.

Speaker 1 It's basically, basically, life's going to give you what you need. And how do you know this is what you need? Because it's what life gave you.
And it's like, okay, then I gotta, I gotta embrace this.

Speaker 1 Also, he has another one I love that says, life will never leave you alone.

Speaker 1 I love that one because it's like, you could achieve this, get an A on your test, get into your dream school, win a medal, and then life will life itself a week later, you know? So it's

Speaker 1 accepting that life's always gonna life and it's about how we weather the storm. All right, frick.

Speaker 2 Kind of like, now is the first one like everything happens for a reason kind of thing?

Speaker 2 Or am am I wrong on that?

Speaker 1 I don't really hot take. I'm not a huge believer in everything happens for a reason because I think that's.

Speaker 2 Adriana, yes. I feel you.
Well, because I think people like to pick and choose when they use that saying. That like sometimes like bad things happen and there's no reason for it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I feel like it's like that's but like I do understand of like, again, the experiences that they shape you into who you become.

Speaker 2 But I don't like that. It's just too overarching.
I think too big of a statement.

Speaker 1 You get something out of everything in life, 100%. But to say it all happens for a reason means there's a predetermined plan and that we don't like have free will.

Speaker 1 If I'm going to get really deep about it, so I don't, I don't know. I never stuck with me.

Speaker 1 I feel like people say that when you don't get like the job, they're like, well, everything happens for a reason. And it's like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think someone's up there making you not get the job because of the next thing personally, but whatever gives people hope and like in their life, I think is important.

Speaker 1 And however you can stay positive is important. But yeah, I think you get something out of everything.
But

Speaker 2 sorry, what was the question no no no that was perfect that was perfect that was perfect then do you not like the expression everything happens in your favor because i think about both of those lines as like uh when i look back it's like oh that sucked but hey now i it's what we were talking about earlier now i am who i am because i went through all that stuff so like was there a reason but i do hear you on the like no free will question mark but i think perception is so powerful and to tell yourself everything's working out for me this is going to lead me to a better end game this is going to bring me to the place I need to be.

Speaker 1 Like, I love that stuff.

Speaker 1 I think that's a person's choice. Is the glass half full or is it half empty? And I think life is better when you think it's half full.

Speaker 2 It's a beautiful way to end that. I don't usually read books that you learn something from, but I might take a whack at this, but

Speaker 2 it'll take me some time.

Speaker 1 It's literally my favorite thing to geek out about. So calmly if you guys start reading it and are like, what the fuck am I reading?

Speaker 1 And then on a fiction note, I am in my third book of the Akatar series. And I'm like, there we go.

Speaker 2 I was just about to ask, are we a reader?

Speaker 2 That's amazing. What are you thinking so far?

Speaker 1 I'm loving it.

Speaker 1 It definitely, like, I think the first book I like absolutely devoured. And then I went right into the second book because I like needed to know what was going to happen next.

Speaker 1 And then the third book has been good, but I think I'm like picking it up a few times a week. I'm like, I definitely want to finish it, but I'm, it's getting very complicated.

Speaker 1 There's like 40 characters. There's a war.
Sorry, spoiler, but there's a lot going on.

Speaker 2 I felt the same way about that one too. I thought the second one was really good.
And then the third one is more like, I mean, battle strategy at this point. Yeah.
It slows down on the third.

Speaker 1 I love seeing the TikToks, though, about like the lead male characters. There's a hilarious one.
It's so funny, but like, yeah, definitely a Ry Sand stand over here.

Speaker 2 1000%. One of our like producers was starting to read Akatar and I kind of let it slip that one character is not who she ends up with or whatnot.
She was like, What? I was like, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 Oh, so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 That's the biggest spoiler. I wish I was shook at that.
What's so tough is because I want to Google like the drawings of like, what do they think they look like?

Speaker 1 And I love the TikToks of this is like the summer court and the dawn court, but it's so hard not to stumble across a spoiler.

Speaker 2 Ask us if you ever want like fan art. We will find it and it'll be in our algorithms and we'll send it to you.
Okay, perfect. Olivia has subscribed to many a Patreon.
I'm a supporter of the arts.

Speaker 2 I always have been. But

Speaker 2 you know, specifically like fan art Patreons, you know.

Speaker 2 Has there been a scene in Akatar or just like the vibe, I guess, about any parts that have really stuck out to you? Like, why have you been enjoying it so far?

Speaker 1 Honestly, well, I love a love story, but honestly, I think people hate on the first book. They're like, wait for the second book, the second book.

Speaker 1 I'm like, under the mountain at the end of the first book is some of the greatest literature these eyes have ever read.

Speaker 1 Like, I literally was like on the edge because you know, you know, it's got to work out, but you're like, how? This doesn't make sense. And then there's so much left unsaid.

Speaker 1 So I think that was definitely one of my most riveting chapters for sure was the end of the first book.

Speaker 2 And after this, you'll have to read Throat of Glass.

Speaker 1 Okay, so down. I did all of the Housemaid series too.
The Housemaid, The Housemaid's Watching, The housemaid.

Speaker 1 I forget the third one, but there's a movie coming out with Sidney Sweeney and that really hot guy and Amanda Seafreed. And it's about the first housemaid book.
So highly recommend reading it.

Speaker 1 You'll read it in a day if you're a reader.

Speaker 2 It's so good.

Speaker 1 And then you'll be prepping for it. For the thriller? Yeah, sure.
I would say that. It's not like hauntingly scary, but yeah, it's...

Speaker 2 It's got twists. Good to know.
Good to know. It's got some twists.
Real last thing on Akatar and Under the Mountain.

Speaker 2 Did you solve the riddle before it was discovered?

Speaker 1 Of course not.

Speaker 2 Of course not. I'm literally.
Me neither, girl.

Speaker 1 My brain, like if you present me a riddle or a math problem, it's like it doesn't compute. Like my brain feels like much.

Speaker 2 Yep. A lot of people were like, it's so obvious.
I was like, oh, my bad.

Speaker 2 I'm really honest. I skipped over it.
Whenever there's a riddle. or like song lyrics or anything in a book, I can't stand it for some reason.
I glazed over it, kept reading.

Speaker 2 And at the end, I was like, oh, maybe I could have figured it out. I just did not try.

Speaker 1 I think I stopped for a hot sec, like think, think, think. And then I was like, okay, keep reading.

Speaker 2 I'll figure it out eventually.

Speaker 2 If not, it'll be revealed to me in the end. Thanks so much, Victoria, for coming over.

Speaker 1 Thanks for having me. I had a blast.

Speaker 2 We had a great time. I mean, I feel like I am more, I feel better about myself even talking to you.
Something about your energy. Keep doing the great work you're doing.

Speaker 2 We will chat so much more now that we're working together on the hidden opponent. But again, appreciate you.

Speaker 1 Thank you guys. You're the best.
I loved being at House of Marr.

Speaker 2 Well, thanks so much for coming over to House of Mar, everyone listening and watching. Wave Original sponsored by TJ Maxx.

Speaker 2 Be sure to watch and subscribe on YouTube and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, follow the show on social media at House of Marr for clips and behind-the-scenes content.

Speaker 2 And follow at Victoria Garrick Brown and at RealPod across social media. New episodes of Real Pod drop every Wednesday.