Episode 552: What Are We Doing Here?

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Like a midnight and the rock and roller.

He's in a fight for wrestling solar using a racket and some mind controller.

He's Jim Cornette

The keys to the future held by the past and with tag team partner Barion last he sends this message out by podcast Jim Cornette

Well he's never fake a phony

He never backs down from a fight

He never wins the pony Cause his mama raised him right

prepare

your mind

and get the experience.

Get the experience.

Get the experience of Jim Cornet.

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome everyone.

It's the what the hell are we doing here edition of the Jim Cornet Experience today, and you'll find out why I say that.

And joining me for all of this hilarity, Hawaiian Brian, the podcasting lion, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network, Mr.

Co-host to you.

He's been dazed and confused for so long.

It's not true.

The great Brian last, everybody.

Aloha, Jim.

A pleasure to be here on your show.

Boy, that's what you got today.

I'll tell you what.

And you've already been on me.

I'll have you know about my audio.

I've got a hump.

What?

You got a hump?

I was on you.

Yeah, I got a

hummer there.

No, you've been on me verbally

chastising me because I have a hum in my room.

Brian,

you either need an ear doctor or a head doctor because you're hearing these sounds all the time.

I can hear pitches and things that other people can't hear.

I have super hearing.

We've established this a while ago.

And it's also been declared by medical professionals.

Yeah, I think you should have heard the pitch that was coming at your head when you got beamed at the ball game.

That may have been what caused this problem.

It was a long time ago.

And already you're doing this to me when my energy level is down and we're both a little burnt out because the big Vince McMahon marathon that we did several days ago where we watched it.

watched an hour, talked about it for an hour, watched an hour, talked about it over for like a two-day period.

And thank you, everyone, everyone, who has said that our analysis of the documentary was more

pithy than the documentary.

So then, after we finished with that, we took, what, 36 hours off of watching wrestling and talking about it.

And then we've started back.

And what we're doing today, folks, is this is the start of the podcast, but this is being done last.

Because we've already done the last of the podcast, but that got into the editing pipeline first

because we have to, of course, think of our audience on YouTube that would rather get to some of the meat of the matter than undergo our introduction.

And it's all, we don't, I don't know what the fuck.

Are we coming or going?

Are we sideways or upside down?

We're just always there.

And you're in a coma today, too.

See, I'm not in a coma.

Come on, you're not giving me much, and I don't have much, so I have nothing to do.

So it's a two-way street.

It's just

one of those lanes is closed for paving.

So anyway, today what we're going to do since we talked about Vince McMahon all over the place is in this course of this podcasting program, we're going to try to catch up on the last several days of wrestling on television and get some feedback.

From the members of the cult of Cordeth that we neglected on your program because we were talking about the

leader of the the cult of Kaka,

Mr.

McMahon himself.

And real quick here at the tarp.

I wish we were under the tarp.

Real here, real here, real quick here at the top.

God damn it, you see what you've done to me?

I didn't have anything, and now you've made it worse.

Here at the top, I just want to apologize.

We probably are going to have some audio issues from Jim's side.

There have been

weather conditions in the area.

So obviously it affects the

I'm not in fucking Asheville right now.

And bless those poor people down there.

I love Asheville.

It's a great place.

And they just got slammed.

But

my power went off and it's obviously hindered my goddamn formerly gigabyte internet speed that I finally got from these people over at Spectrum.

I found the one knowledgeable employee at a 917 speed.

And then the power goes off and my internet speeds back down and my goddamn laundry room light won't come on and

goddamn other I'm telling you.

Is it connected to the internet?

Is it one of those smart lights?

No, it's a dumb fucking, it's a dumb, stupid fucking light that every time the power goes off, it takes five or six days before it'll come back on.

It's a fluorescent type of apparatus.

God damn it, are we on the air now?

We are back on the air.

We are back on the air.

You told me to unplug the thing.

What thing?

You didn't mean right while we were.

No, not in the middle of the show.

I didn't say, I said, if you want to reset it, you can unplug it for 10 seconds.

I didn't say

you were saying, oh, he stopped the recording, ladies and gentlemen, because I was cutting in and out.

And he said, I'll check your speed.

And my speed that was 900 and something is now 200 and something.

But my upload, the purple line,

whatever the fuck, my upload was eight.

And it's never been eight before it's always like fucking 38 or 42 or whatever so i said i wonder if i unplug this router

the new one they gave me like i used to unplug the other one in stacy's room and blah blah blah so i unplugged and the whole thing went out couldn't couldn't even get on the twitter

what i don't know what the fuck is happening here can you hear me now

unfortunately yes because what did I just say now?

I'm gonna upload after we plugged it back, or I plugged it back in, and everything came back on.

And you were wrong, it wasn't eight, it was six.

Well, it was six at one point, but it was eight the next time.

But now, instead of having 900 and something

on the download or the down low, or whatever the kids say, I got 250, but on the upload,

instead of

40, I've got what did I say, 120?

I've never even even seen that number on this thing before.

This whole thing is a crock of shit.

They just send you some numbers from Internet Central.

Let's tell him this today.

It bears no goddamn resemblance to what's really going on.

Can we do the show now?

Did you hear any more roaring?

John Amos has passed away.

Good lord.

Coming to America.

And yesterday, the guy passed away coming to him.

He's already been here for 50 years.

He's one of the stars of that movie.

And of course, Good Times.

And yesterday, one of the stars of Beverly Hills Cop passed away.

Two recent deaths that you had not mentioned beforehand.

Maybe I was trying to put him out of my mind.

The curse is over.

What?

What do you mean the curse is over?

You cursed a bunch of people by mentioning them on the air and then they all dropped dead.

Oh, I thought you meant I should have mentioned that they died on the show before now this episode sucks lazy chat what are we doing i'm i'm tired i'm more than we got personal things going on

you've got you got goddamn commitments up there i have by stacy's mother's back in town to do her follow-up doctor's appointments because the doctors that she has out at home they're so

unable to keep her out of the hospital so she's seeing these doctors and they're preparing to move out here by the first of the year they've found a nice little place right down the road where everybody can keep an eye on them.

And they can keep an eye on, everybody can keep an eye on each other.

Instead of watching wrestling all the time, we're all sick.

We're sick people, Brian.

We're sick.

We watch this wrestling and we're sick.

These wrestling people, I feel like Phil Mushnick now.

These wrestling people are sick, but they've made us sick, Brian.

Don't you want to get well?

Yeah, your audio still sucks, but when you say these wrestling people, who are these people that you're speaking of, that you're excluding yourself from?

All of these people currently in the wrestling.

They're the ones driving us fucking bat shit.

And my audio still sucks even with 120 uploads.

Well, that's what it was before.

I don't know if that's what it is now.

Well, run it in the background right now and find out if it's still 100.

It wasn't 120, it was 119.

I'm not going to let you round up on that.

We'll get by with it.

Let's go to the cult.

Can we go to the cult for some comments from the cult?

And by the way, thank you, jacked up Jeremy Bagley for the birthday gifts he sent.

I actually

didn't see him immediately because I thought it was Stacey's package, and I left it.

She went out to California and flew back with her mom.

So I left it sit for a few days.

But he got me two volumes of Alex Ross

Art, One Marvel, one DC,

which is just hardback editions.

The real nice stuff.

They put some work into it.

Jeremy Bagley is an all-right fella.

Yeah, here he has good audio.

Well, maybe you'd like to do the show with him.

The Jeremy Bagley experience?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Or Jeremy's drive-through.

Oh, actually, that's not too bad.

Maybe we got something there.

All right.

We have an email here is what we got.

Can you hear that?

Yes.

Can you hear how many fingers I'm holding up?

This is from,

well, I won't mention his name because he's mentioning some things about he might still have to interact with any of these people, but

he said, you know, we've been talking about who trained Daniel Garcia.

I don't even remember how it came up.

How did that come up?

We were asking who trained Daniel Garcia.

It came up either one of two ways.

Either you were critiquing his in-ring work and I mentioned that I heard it, or it was in talking about, because we did a couple clips talking about him and contract negotiations.

But it was one of those two things.

But it came out that one of his trainers was old Thurston Howell III over at Wrestle

Business of

Statistics.

What is their name?

Wrestle Economics, otherwise known as Wrestle Business of Statistics.

Well,

God damn it, I thought, okay, people, this is the fucking blooper reel from now on, this fucking fucking show.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'll say something silly here in a minute, and it'll be funny.

But anyway, this fucking guy here from

this place in New York wrote an email.

I spent some time in wrestling school in Buffalo around 2016.

And at the time, there were three groups and two schools.

Sounded like a full house.

One of the schools closed and the other rebranded.

And the third group is now Nickel City Wrestling.

Nickel City Wrestling.

They couldn't even, not even a dime.

I mean, what can you get with a nickel anymore?

So anyway, he continues on this unnamed fellow.

The school that stayed open became Grapplers Anonymous.

What?

That's the name?

Not anymore.

They've changed it again.

But let's just

stop and settle on that one for a minute.

Grapplers Anonymous.

That should be a real thing.

I got some people I can recommend.

Yes, they all ought to sit in a fucking circle and go by their first name and

support each other in getting away from this fucking shit.

Would you go to a school?

Grappler's anonymous.

And now, but listen to this.

Now I believe they're called Grapple Pro.

Not to be confused with Snapple Orange or whatever.

Okay, when I was around, the real head trainer was a guy named Mikey Everynight,

an incredibly small but nice fellow who can't go to Canada thanks to a pimping charge from the early 2000s.

Hold on, stop right there.

Incredibly small.

An incredibly small but nice fellow.

An incredibly small pimp.

Mikey Everynight.

He's training.

He went from pimping, pimping hoes nationwide, I guess, to training wrestlers.

Mikey every night.

So

would you, I'm just,

why would you go to a wrestling school and have a midget named Mikey that you've never heard of?

So here, I'll teach you how to wrestle.

Because he's got women.

Hey, then Mikey's always surrounded by a bunch of women.

Only if you get to wrestle the women.

Well, you know, you don't realize that he's going to charge you until you, you know, a few weeks into the school and you drop a few thousand dollars.

And it's like, hey, can you introduce me to your friend who's always flirting with me yeah that'll be 50 bucks across the border well

i'd rather pay the 50 than the two thousand at least i'd know i was getting what i was paying for with the he didn't say small he said incredibly

incredibly small

the incredible shrinking wrestler i can't believe how small this man is

it's incredible it's incredible

every time i look at him he gets he gets littler but no way this goes on

incredibly enough.

The guy in charge, as I remember, was meant to be Pepper Parks.

Oh, but he was.

Well, but he was on the road and got signed to TNA as Braxton Sutter and eventually became the baker after training the butcher.

You remember the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker.

I didn't realize that that was the butcher's trainer, though.

That's interesting.

And Les Thatcher trained a guy named, had a guy working for him named Pepper Parks in the late 90s.

Certainly to God.

What?

I think it's the same guy because I believe Les Thatcher at some point a long time ago mentioned him to me or I heard him say something.

Same guy.

Well, he looked completely different 25 years ago because

I would have not known.

But nevertheless, so he was supposed to be the trainer, but instead

we got the incredibly small wrestling fellow.

And then he said, I believe believe Garcia started there with that group and was around when my life happened and I moved home.

But he says Thurston Howell would teach the boys what to expect to get paid and how to ask for it.

That's a course at wrestling school.

Apparently now.

As well as some technical and chain wrestling.

The technical and chain wrestling that Garcia does when he tries, but he's too small for it to look too good,

for it to look good on TV.

Boy, these Wrestlers Anonymous meetings sound like a real party.

Here's how you get paid.

Here's how you ask for it.

Let me teach you some

cane wrestling.

Is there a special way you're supposed to ask me?

Wait a minute.

Do you go in, walk up two steps to the left, drop to one knee, hold out your left hand supported by your right arm at the forearm and say, please, sir, may I have my pay?

It has been a pleasure working for you.

I expect my pay now.

in three

two

please put payment here now

all righty um

with all due respect what is brandon thurston's

is it just someone like working the indies up in upstate new york that he would be suggesting to i don't know why is that a question

i didn't know he i i don't know what what's going on over there

i really don't grappler's anonymous not wrestlers anonymous anonymous.

Grapplers Anonymous.

Grapplers Anonymous.

Well,

they could be wrestling or they could be grappling or just shoving, pushing and shoving a little bit.

You need to have somebody help support you through that.

Grapplers Anonymous, which was then rebranded as AEW Dynamite.

All right.

Well, Speak, funny, you mentioned that, and you have no foreknowledge, young Brian.

of the topic of the next email, but you have led to it beautiful.

Why don't you do segues like that we do these goddamn commercial spots you leave me hanging to the last second on what the we're where we're going and this was perfect true i do them great they're perfect when i do them well there he is it was a perfect phone call um

a guy i'm gonna call sam because that's he says i'm sam but i'm not gonna even say where he's from

Because I don't want to narrow it down too much.

Although, I guess there's a lot of Sams.

It's the biggest city in the state.

I don't want to get this guy in trouble.

What the hell's going on?

What did this guy say?

Well, he is who he says he.

I don't know.

He is Sam?

He is indeed Sam?

He is Sam I Am.

No, I'm confirming.

God damn it.

He is who he says he is.

All you said was he's Sam.

I don't know what.

I want my green eggs in the ham, said Sam, Sam I am.

His name is Sam.

He's from a major city and he works for a professional sports franchise.

All right, we've established this.

I don't want to get any heat on him just in case.

You never know how these fucking

could be like Costanza and the fucking Yankees.

Now, this could be anything from a baseball team to like an arena football team, right?

He said a professional sports franchise.

We're not trying to, we're not playing what's my line with this guy.

We don't want to get him fired, potentially.

See, that would be fun, though.

We need people to play what's my line with us on the air.

But not to get fired.

But it has to be some kind of consequence.

There's got to be some truth or consequences, then.

Bring back Bob.

That's right.

Everybody says Price is right with Bob Barker.

Fuck that.

Truth or consequences was goddamn.

Anyway,

his name is Sam, and he works for a professional sports franchise.

And

he says, I have also been a member of the cult since 2018.

Tony Kahn works in professional sports too, so I thought you'd like to know how we view him in his role with the Jacksonville Jaguars.

I know you guys don't follow pro football closely, so the main thing you need to know about the Jaguars is that they're a joke.

They have an overall record of 60 and 138 under the Khan administration and are currently the worst team in the NFL to start the 2024 season.

And

I mean, I don't know that much about football, but I would assume that a record of 60 and 138 is not by any means one of the upper echelons of teams, correct?

No, they're 0-4 so far this year.

And we've talked about, since AEW, you know, you pay attention a little bit to the other sporting enterprises of the Khan family, we've talked about the fact that Jaguars,

I mean, not a good reputation.

They could lose games.

They had the one coach that they fired for drinking with girl, whatever the fuck that seed was.

For drinking, a girl?

They caught him on a video, like at Hooters or something, like some bar, like with a couple of girls just drinking when he he was supposed to be with a team or whatever it was.

One of many issues.

They had the guy who stole millions of dollars right under their nose.

Well, well,

hold on here.

We're going to get to him in a second because Sam continues.

The Jaguars fans routinely show up to games dressed as clowns or with paper sacks covering their faces.

The Jaguars or the cons, continually make baffling personnel decisions in their front office and in hiring coaches.

Perhaps worst of all, they continually ruin the free agent market for the other 31 NFL franchises by routinely overpaying to a ludicrous amount players who should in no way command the most lucrative salaries in the league.

Parenthetically, sounds familiar, yes.

They do it in football, too.

Eddie says, almost all of this is due to Tony Kahn, who runs their analytics and scouting departments by virtue of being appointed to that role by his father.

Tony also lets someone under his supervision embezzle incredible amounts of money from the team.

I don't think I can explain how every other executive in the NFL was either befuddled or slightly embarrassed, seeing him in a movie prop neck brace trying to K-fave an attack

by the Buckaroos, Jungle Jack, and Okada during the NFL draft, none of them think AEW is anything more than a vanity project for a know-it-all goof who picks fights with former players on Twitter when they tell everyone what a joke his football organization is compared to other teams.

He's doing this on Twitter in the football world, too.

I didn't know that.

I remember in the past there were some things with him and football players going back and forth, but that was a few years ago.

I don't know what he's actively doing, though.

Well, now, okay.

Maybe this was former behavior.

Maybe he did that before he got the wrestling company.

We got football fans in the audience.

And if somebody is familiar with the

NFL Twitter, what'd they say?

That time that they were on right before a fucking NBA game and they said, oh, NBA Twitter has discovered that Chris Jericho is still wrestling and it's not complimentary.

Well, if there's NFL Twitter and you people are on it, let us know what the fuck Tony is doing

comparable to his behavior in the wrestling space, as the kids say.

But anyway, Sam goes.

Oh, go ahead.

No, no, I thought that was the end.

If you have more, keep going.

No, no, no.

Sam is going on.

Yeah, so I'm trying to find my spot.

It's a giant one paragraph.

Ah, here we go.

The NFL does give wrestling a lot of credibility, but they want to exclusively work with WWE because they have the actual stars.

Nobody bats an eye when Tony Khan has his wrestlers at Jags games.

And then he also tells the story of the guy, remember Trevor Lawrence is the player that got hurt on the Jaguars and they couldn't find, yeah, they couldn't find him a cart to carry him back to the locker room.

On TV, they had two trainers help him hobble back to the locker room, and they just signed this guy to a contract extension worth $50 million a year

is what Sam is saying, but they couldn't find a fucking

cart.

So,

when they limped him off the field, it further exacerbated the knee injury.

So, anyway,

but that is he closes with pro football and pro wrestling to Tony Kahn.

Seems just like a hobby.

He's not even in the the same business as people who are trying to win championships and make money.

And there, you know, is

from another world.

The nether world of real pro sports is what the fuck are they doing?

Well, you know, I've said it before.

The Khan fortune is from Shad Khan's patents.

It's not from...

Starting a business and building a business just based on business expertise.

It was from having an asset like a patent.

Well, I mean, certainly.

An asset that every single car was going to need.

So you were going to make lots of money.

They put that money into various hobbies.

And

not everyone has the organizational skills or the people to put an organization together to run a major sporting franchise.

It's a tough thing.

And we've seen

at this point many sons of billionaires

strike out on a very public stage because

they think they know everything,

and it's clear that they don't.

If Tony Khan manages the Jaguars, just the analytics and the drafting,

anywhere close to how he manages the wrestling side,

that's pretty scary.

If you're a fan of the Jacksonville Jaguars, how do you have any confidence in your team?

I know what that's like.

We had Jeff Wilpon, the Tony Khan of baseball.

It was rough.

But how do you have any faith?

If you know anything about wrestling and you're a Jaguars fan, you know what's up.

What is his

week like?

How can he be on top of anything

if he's at the NFL draft and he apparently they're saying that he's

you know giving out the salaries so he's doing these contracts in football and he's running the wrestling company's booking this thing and he's goddamn doing angles and he's you know tweeting

and i know he's a he's a thin fellow but he's got to eat once in a while

sleep i guess is out of the question maybe that's why his decision-making capabilities may be suffering

but would the

and i bet he's on the board of directors of some kind of charitable organization too and with his spare time the nfl drafts like the biggest thing every year for an NFL team.

You're building for the future.

They've got their most serious people there.

They spend a lot of time planning it.

Tony Khan's there in a neck brace with his dad, who's the owner of the team, just giggling and smiling.

His dad, who was overseeing this franchise falling into the toilet, with Tony Khan.

If he's in charge of the drafting

and

finding new players, and he's spending as much time as we already know he is spending on AEW.

That may be the answer as to what's wrong with the Jacksonville Jaguars, or one of the reasons that there are so many problems because Tony Khan

thinks he knows it all, and he keeps adding more and more stuff to his plate.

Well, dude, do we know?

Is this public knowledge?

Because you talked about the patents, is he getting

He, meaning Shad, too many pronouns, pal, but the senior Khan,

does he get like a percentage every time they make a fucking car bumper?

Or did he sell this shit outright?

Or is he still like making billions of dollars on an ongoing basis that he just don't give a fuck ever, ever?

Yeah, I think that's pretty much it.

Let me see.

Hey, you said, can you send me an instruction manual on how to make a fucking car bumper?

And then fuck all of you.

You'll never see my fat ass again.

He received a $50,000 loan loan from the Small Business Administration, and 16,000 of his own savings were used to start his own company, Bumper Works, in 1978.

In 1980, he bought his former employer, Flex and Gate.

And then

he...

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Hold on now.

So

in two years, he starts his own company and in two years he buys his former employer.

He bought them out and the company.

Son of of a bitch.

Maybe he's smart, except when he's got the blind spot for the progeny.

But go ahead.

I'm sorry.

Well, he's smart when it comes to making something that other people are going to need.

The company grew under Khan so that it supplied bumpers for the big three automakers.

In 1984, he began supplying a small number of bumpers for Toyota pickups.

By 1987, it was the sole supplier for Toyota pickups.

And by 1989, it was the sole supplier for the entire Toyota line in the United States.

Adopting the Toyota way increased company efficiency and ability to change its manufacturing process within a few minutes.

Since then, the company has grown from 17 million in sales to an estimated 2 billion in 2010 and 8.89 billion in 2020.

The fuck?

So, in 2020,

they had $8.89 billion in sales.

And it's his company.

So

the money's never going to run out.

And it's to the point where you could throw it against the wall and just do stupid things and let your son just do stupid things.

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Well, speaking of stupid things,

we've talked about the

The forearm exchanges, right?

The trading the fake phony forearms, if you prefer the alliteration.

And

I asked some people to send in some

comments on it, if they could, that were inside the business to help us understand why anybody thinks it's a good idea, right?

And why they don't realize it looks like shit.

And we got a number, but I wanted to excerpt.

See what I did with that word there, a few of them

that

it kind of again goes back to what we were talking about before with the incredibly small man at Grapplers Anonymous, the trainer, right?

That's the problem, I believe, is that too many of the

people that are training these days were marks to begin with.

Anyway,

this guy over and over said, this is my real name, so I think he wants plugged.

So he don't care if he gets some heat or not.

He's my kind of guy.

Of course, he needs to work on the name.

His name is Keegan Brettle.

Did you capture that, Brian?

Keegan Brettle, not Brittle.

Keegan.

No, not Brittle.

Bretle.

Keegan Bretle.

And I'm a professional wrestler in Australia.

That is my real name and working name.

And I hope this gets heard because this needs to be addressed.

Yeah, I think he wants his name out.

Well,

and my advice is going to tell him to tuck it back in.

Because if it's his real name, I'm sure his parents are wonderful people, but he needs a new working name.

Because

people are going to have too much of what the fuck to that.

But nevertheless,

he says, I was taught how to throw a punch in my first few weeks of training by the Aussie wrestler Jay Law and then had it drilled in again when I trained with Lance Storm.

I've been wrestling for 10 years, and the amount of people who do not know how to throw a punch is insane.

The big company here locally,

PWA, this is in Australia now,

apparently only teaches forearms because it's been said that it is safer.

I found this out last week when I was talking to one of their trainees at a football game.

What's even crazier is that most new prospects and trainees go to this place because of their reputation as the biggest school around.

So at any one time, they could have 40 people training in a session, and they're all throwing shitty forearms.

And apparently, this other email gives some insight in this.

It's the entire, it's the Japanese fighting spirit deal

is what they're trying to

do because Cole says it talks about the Japanese culture, the samurai,

the videos of Bruce Lee meditating, getting hit with kendo sticks, but he doesn't feel it because he's in another plane.

You've seen that shit, Brian.

You're a Bruce Lee aficionado, yeah.

And these fucking dip shits think they're doing that

or giving that impression or showing a fighting spirit when they're standing there fake

poofing each other.

I do, you can't call it fake striking because it's not even really fake striking.

Fake striking is throwing a working punch or a working forearm that looks like it's a goddamn forearm.

And he says,

basically, with great sportsmanship, you challenge your opponent to hit you because he can't hurt you, and you're going to prove you're tougher than him and have more fighting spirit

72 times.

So that's where they're.

And, you know, a lot of them try to imitate the fry-takeyama fight.

Cole mentions that also.

Remember, they just grabbed each other and just started fucking punching each other.

But it that was what Owens and Generico used to do all the time.

Yeah, but this

none of this looks like that either, does it?

Am I just an old man with foggy memories sitting by a fireplace?

Or did it look like Fry and Takeyama were just punching each other as hard as they could?

It looked like that because the guys doing the forearms look like they're cooperating with each other, not hurting each other, and it's just like a weird dance.

And Cole says, I would also argue the reason strikes end up looking soft or weak on high-definition television is because, in front of 200 people at the VFW hall, you don't have to work so snug.

And bad habits are formed over the years on the indies that bite you in the ass on national TV.

And then nobody sells it.

So you, because again, you can cover up

a bad, a whiff of a strike if it's a Bobby Eaton fucking whoosh and it's a Riggy Morton sell anyway,

you can't tell the difference, but

you can hit people and if you don't sell it, it looks like shit.

That's the old saying about the goddamn old timers.

Their punches look like shit and hurt because they hadn't perfected the modern era yet.

Here's another one, Michael from West Virginia.

As a former professional wrestler, the forearm and chop exchanges are ridiculous.

During my training in 2004, if I would have tried anything like that, I would have been stretched until I broke.

He was trained by Barton Brad Batten, the Batten Twins.

And so standing there allowing some dumbass to hit you

with useless strikes doesn't tell a story.

It doesn't present a struggle.

It doesn't make someone like you or hate you.

It's just filler crap that guys do when they have no idea what to do to continue the match.

I was taught to grab a hold if I got lost, but I guess that's the difference between actually being trained to wrestle versus shown how to perform.

And finally,

Damien Wayne.

Haven't seen him in forever.

Hello, Damien.

He says, hey there, guys, this is Damien Wayne.

I'm an independent wrestler and I think this shit sucks ass.

I hate fake looking shit and I absolutely hate no-selling shit.

If Terry Funk can sell everything, so can you.

I preach being believable, and people look at me sometimes like I'm speaking a foreign language.

So that's more succinct about the whole thing.

But even people in a business know it's fucking stupid,

and they still do it.

There are these other people, not these people that know it's stupid, but the other people still do it.

Too many they's.

It's a lazy thing.

It's a lazy crutch for guys who can't put together creative matches.

You know what it does, Brian?

What's that?

It gives me fucking, it just, the sour belches.

It just gives me gas because it gives me poor gut health is what it does.

And you know, poor gut health, it's the next step to the fucking graveyard.

You know that for a fact.

If you're not pooping every day

and you don't have the proper germinology and microbiology down there in your stomach churning around, producing all the effluvia that goes into the septic tank of your system that keeps you pure and clean and sparkling like a freshly deuced New Orleans whore,

I'll tell you what, then you're in bad shape because you're going to be, it's the next step, folks, to the grim reaper.

Gut health emanates to have a gut health, skin health, heart health, immune health, your gut microbial balance, and your micronutrient synthesis.

If you ain't got all that working together, you might as well pack it in and leave everything to your wife.

Well, if you're a woman, you might as well leave everything to your husband.

Unless you're married to another woman, you might as well just kiss your ass goodbye because you're on a road to death.

You know that as well as anybody, Brian.

You had to.

What the hell does that mean?

Well, you had to reform your intestinal tract to make sure when you found out about our friends over at SEED

and their DSO1 mixture,

the capsules that you can take every day with a glass of water as your daily habit and prevent your entire stomach from rotting like a neglected septic tank.

You had to reform, because you were eating all that French toast.

And all that French toast ferments, Brian.

And that's why you were fermented.

You were turning a light shade of lime green as a result of the fermentation of the French tentu.

You got on, that's part of skin health.

You got on the DSO1, the two-in-one probiotic and prebiotic that promotes benefits in and beyond your gut.

And instantly, you became the proper color again.

And you didn't have that abdominal bloating.

Remember the time you were leaving at Costco

and that security guard tackled you because he thought that your abdominal bloating was you were trying to shoplift a watermelon?

You remember that?

No, that never happened.

I don't even go to Costco.

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Well, you were trying to, he thought you were trying to get away with something, but he saved your life there.

Because with that abdominal bloating, well, again, the next step is the abdominal explosion, where you spray.

all kinds of innards and gizzards all over people.

So you were, I'm surprised when he tackled you, you didn't pop.

But you were able to get on the DSO1 and you were able to reduce that.

And

remember that intermittent constipation, Brian, that you were telling me about a couple of years ago?

I have never told you about that because I've never had it.

What are you talking about?

Well,

it was intermittent.

You didn't have it until you did, but then it quit for a while.

No, and I wouldn't talk to you about any of these issues if they actually existed.

See, the DSO-1 is formulated with strains clinically validated.

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You'll glow.

People, you'll glow like you're pregnant.

If you're a 50-year-old man with a big belly and a beard, you might not want people to think you're pregnant, but you're going to look like it.

And feel like it, too.

Well, you get those cravings for pickles and ice cream.

But if you need further proof, ladies ladies and gentlemen, what I'm saying about Brian last is true.

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81% of members felt less sluggish after meals because, boy, once you eat that meal, it's coming right back out right the other direction it's the pathway is clear and 87 of members feel more in control of their whole body health since they started the dso1 experience

and so i say it

can i say more if it worked for brian last and brought him back from the brink of death Then certainly it can make you feel better and

poop with a more confident air.

If you want to be healthier, if you're looking for gut health, if you're looking to all around, all over, just live a healthier lifestyle, seed is a component for you.

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You're going to,

again, you'll be unstoppable in the bathroom, baby.

This ad is unstoppable.

But see,

there it is.

What do you want them to know?

What the promo code is?

25 JCE.

25JE.

25 JCE.

Yes, say it all together.

25 JCE.

I'm sorry to talk a little bit.

What I meant to say was 25 JCE.

That's what I said.

Bunny bread.

With seed.

Yes, with seed.

Do you remember that commercial?

Or is that a southern thing?

That's what I said, bunny bread.

That's a southern thing, maybe.

You've got bunny bread up there, don't you?

I never even heard of that until I...

What kind of fucking heathens are you?

You don't have you can't go to the store in New Jersey in the year 2024 and get a simple loaf of bunny bread.

Maybe you can't.

I've just never purchased it and never paid attention to it or seen it.

Is there a picture of a bunny rabbit on it?

Yes.

That's what I want on my bread.

A picture of a fucking rodent popping on it.

A rabbit is not a rodent.

A rabbit is a mammal.

A friend of the rodents.

A cute, furry.

Rodent-like thing.

With a pink nose.

Big teeth to give you rabies.

They eat carrots and give you love.

And I'll tell you what else can give you some love.

In front of you a car.

Oh, come on.

So they do.

They don't have any respect for the driver.

Well, you should be on the lookout because they're colorblind.

So they can't see the lights of the stoplight.

See?

The lights of the stoplight.

You didn't think about that, did you?

Oh, I mean, they can, I guess not.

I guess not.

Yeah.

I didn't think about that.

Well, if it's at night.

You're right.

You're right.

I did not think about that in any way.

Well, see, if

you can't just goddamn keep part of your mind on the rabbits' rights in this day and age.

And what kind of racist son of a bitch are you?

Rabbits' rights.

Rabbits' rights.

I was going to talk about real quickly, and we'll get on with this program.

Seed.

Seed.

Well, we talked about seed a while back.

Now we're going to talk about me.

And JimCordette.com and the holiday sale at Cornett's Collectibles that I will quick, because it's, what, when does this show come out?

Are we going to release this thing?

Well, I don't know.

Is this actually going to the public?

When will this show be finished?

I have no idea.

We don't know.

We don't know.

So, nevertheless, then, in that case, October 5th at noon Eastern, Saturday.

That's when the sale started.

If you don't hear this till after that,

and we encourage you to go because it's a holiday sale, it's going to Christmas.

And boy, howdy, the brand new and final Jim Cornette action figure variant is on sale now.

You can see pictures at jimcornet.com.

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our other fine merchandise.

And Hotchkiss Featherbottom is standing by, waiting to hear from you.

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All right, seed.

Yes.

So speaking of seed, again,

see, I'm going to transition this somehow.

You know what?

What when you plant something and it starts growing and it gets bigger and it gets older,

and then it gets so old sometimes it can't fulfill its fucking purpose anymore.

See, that's the case.

There's

a cycle of life to the plants and to the animals, and et cetera, right?

So, I've successfully segued into asking you: if you have the information that I've been told has become available, of a comparison of the average age of the AEW and WWE wrestlers on their roster to see who's the

youth revolution and who's the old timers in this business these days.

Well, we do have something here.

This was something posted this past week by WrestleNomics.

They're on Patreon.

The median age wrestler for TV and pay-per-view events for both AEW and WWE.

Since 2000, according to

they pulled the data from CageMatch.

And is CageMatch an unimpeachable source like facebook and wikipedia i think for data

that isn't opinion that opinion data that isn't opinion driven that data is not driven by opinion it may be a fine source did that answer your question yes yes it's fine it's fine what was your other question well how do you want me to uh explain this to you so so

This comparison is over time.

Where did they start out five years ago or whatever it was?

What was the average age of the AEW wrestler and what was the average age of the WWE wrestler?

Okay, now this is AEW

in 2019,

and this counts pay-per-views, Dynamites, and later Collision and Rampage.

In 2019, the average age was 31.7 years.

Uh-huh.

And where was WWE at in that period of time?

And that period of time,

WWE was 33.8 years, and NXT for the record was 30.4 years.

So at that time, and I would have thought that AEW would have even skewed

a little bit younger because of all the not ready for primetime players they started signing there.

But then, of course, Jericho's on the roster, so that's got to lift the whole fucking thing up.

What, 10 percentage years?

Him being AARP and all.

But okay, so 31 to 33,

two years to the younger for AEW in 2019.

In 2020, AEW's average

wrestler age was 32.2 years

with WWE at 35.3 years

and NXT at 31.7.

Well, see, now the only thing that makes sense is NXT

Because

in one year,

the average age in AEW only went up a half a year, but the average age in the WWE went up

fucking two years.

So that must mean that working for the WWE in the last couple of years of the Vince McMahon administration aged you more quickly than normal.

Well, we go to 2021.

I guess we should say 2020 was during the pandemic.

But 2021, AEW,

the average age of the wrestler was 34.6.

There's a pretty big jump on here.

WWE's average age was 35.8.

NXT 31.2.

So now WWE only increased a half of a

half a year.

NXT went down.

And AEW jumped 2.4 years.

So now we're almost the WWE, and I know NXT, but you know,

for intents and purposes, for what I'm going for, we're about to meet in the middle.

The WWE and AEW, they're about to meet in the middle here if we keep going at this

pace.

All right, well, the pace brings us to 2022.

AEW's average wrestler age was 33 years old.

WWE's 35.1 year or one years,

35 years and one month.

NXT 28.5.

Oh.

And remember, you know, I got to remember the timeline, but a lot of NXT's top guys left.

Adam Cole,

Keith Lee,

you know, various people who were on top there all of a sudden ended up on AEW TV.

Well, and that's why the age may be increasing over in AEW, but now they've stopped that.

They backed up

1.6 years while WWE

backed up seven,

is this, would this be months?

Seven-tenths of a year.

I don't know what the fuck.

The point is, WWE backed up, but NXT dropped almost three years.

We now go to 20, what are we, 2023?

AEW Dynamite or AEW's overall wrestler age, the median, median, 35.4 years.

WWE 35.1.

Oh!

NXT 28.3.

So now

the WWE held exactly steady.

AEW increased 2.4 years and AEW has now surpassed.

the WWE by three

tenths of a whatever the fuck and

NXT dropped another two-tenths.

And finally, 2024, the year we are currently in, so this is not complete.

AEW's average age, 35.7,

WWE 34.7,

NXT, 28.4.

NXT is

for three years been between 28.3 and 28.5, and now

AEW has surpassed WWE by one year exactly 35.7 to 34.7.

It's crazy when you look at WWE at the end of the Attitude Era

and just as the roster got, as the roster aged, 2000, average age 29.7,

2001, 29.7,

2002, 30.4.

2003, 31.5.

So, I mean, it was literally that crew from the late 90s getting older.

But here's something that

again.

And look at how young they were on average.

Remember when we I think it was the first year that AEW started up

when, again, the AEW fans, and there were more of them then, and more of them were on me before they found out that many of the things that we said were going to come true.

But oh, you are like, you only push old guys, push old guys.

And we went back

and showed that when I was booking Smoky Mountain Wrestling, that the people that I booked in my main event spots were actually younger than Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks and one or two other of their,

you know, top guys at that particular point in time.

And that pretty much, if you looked at my whole roster at the time, if you took Bob Armstrong out of the equation,

because he was in his 50s at that point

that it across the board it was as young or younger than AEW.

Chris Candida in 1993 was fucking four was 21, 22 years old.

And

so there's just this,

these people that couldn't understand, of course I booked these guys 30 years ago.

You fucking morons when they were 30 years younger.

But they couldn't compute with them.

But you get the fucking point.

Well, the other thing was, people looked older.

Everyone always flips out when they realize how old Dennis Condry was in Mid-South or Jim Crockett

because he looked 10 years older.

He was 32.

Dennis Condry was younger now.

In Crockett promotions in 1986, Dennis Condry was younger now than the average age of the AEW wrestler.

But they looked like they were full-grown adult fucking men,

which therein lies another one of the problems.

But that's

the point of the matter

is that AEW was the,

you know, the supposedly the youth movement here.

But basically, he's either signed the guys and kept them all this time, and they're...

They've aged five years, which is about what his fucking average is.

And that's true.

I mean, how many does he get rid of?

Or when he does sign guys, it's been

of late, or talent, I should say, guys and girls,

people that have come from or already had a run in the WWE.

And so they're going to be several years older.

And meanwhile, the WWE

is,

you know, not only trying to

make and find new stars, but

I would think that if you took Orton and a couple people out of of this equation,

the roster, the average would be younger than that.

But obviously, nobody's advocating taking Orton off the roster.

But I'm just saying a few of those guys can still go skew that even further.

They've made new stars.

We also don't know if this is men and women, right?

Well,

you just read it to me.

Wrestlers,

I'm trying not to be sexist, sexist, but I don't

give a fuck, particularly if the women are included anyway, because it matters not in the overall point.

But I'm trying not to be misogynistic.

All right.

Well, I mean, it's interesting.

It's interesting just because, you know, the Nigel Danielson match kind of makes me think of it.

You know, for the fans of Ring of Honor.

who attended the shows or bought the DVDs at that point, that match was a big deal.

But these guys and those fans are aging out.

And like you said, WWE is already working on and creating the next generation.

AEW

gets their cast offs.

It doesn't know what to do with them.

And then when they get young people, they either choose the wrong people to get behind

or they don't know what to do and how to bring someone.

They can't make someone a star.

And the people who look like they have star potential can get pushed in AEW.

but like a Jay Cargill, once they get to WWE,

it's like, holy shit, like this is a completely different thing.

What I was doing there wasn't serious.

Well, but also, and I understand the point you're making, and I agree with it.

But

here's another problem.

Let me add this on more that

because

I remember a memo that Bill Watts sent out to all the guys

in Mid-South that he had dictated to Jim Ross because it was JR's handwriting, and he he just X-Roxed it as JR took it down.

Gentlemen, I know all of you are superstars and all, and he would put in quotation marks, all of you are superstars quotation marks, and all quotation marks of our fans know everything in quotation marks about you and your gimmick.

But for the sake of it, let's explain it every time we need to.

Every time you have a gimmick match, explain the rules in your interview.

Talk about the rules.

How is this match won or lost?

If it's a street fight, dress in street fight clothes.

If it's tape fist match, tape your fucking fist up.

Make it obvious for people

to understand

our program and what we are trying to sell them.

That's paraphrasing all of that, but a lot of it's a quote.

And it's the same thing Gary Hart used to say:

repetition is the key when dealing with goofs.

He was talking about trying to get little John Harris to remember the finish at Texas Stadium.

But repetition is the key when you are selling something to the public.

Because in case we all haven't noticed, a lot of the fucking public ain't very fucking swift.

And so you can't assume that everybody, when you're on national television, knows everything that happened in Ring of Honor in the Manhattan Center 20 years ago, or in Japan,

at the Yokohama Arena,

15 years ago,

because they don't, not on national TV.

If this was tape trading,

if this was the

segment of die-hard fans that was watching Ring of Honor on HDNet when Cubans still owned it, or was trading for the Japanese tapes before New Japan World,

or going to Ring of Honor at the Chicago Ridge Fieldhouse,

or the big indie shows in New York, the big indie shows in New York that would draw 1,200 people.

They don't remember that shit on national television because most of them didn't fucking know it happened

and never heard any of those people.

And

when you do angles based on the fond remembrance that Tony Kahn and all of the other people who were doing the things I just mentioned, trading for these tapes and DVDs and fucking on the Ring of Honor mailing list in 2006 and whatever the fuck

it's great to book like this

but not for national TV

and there's

what what what is it the kids say there's levels to this

if when I was on the creative team in the WWF,

I had philosophies I would pitch, I I had concepts I would pitch or help with stipulations or a finish or whatever.

But I'm not suggesting that if I'd had sole control, I would have booked it like Smoky Mountain Wrestling

because that wouldn't have worked for all the reasons we've talked about that in the same year, ECW wouldn't have worked in Tennessee and they would have hooted at Smoky Mountain Wrestling in Philadelphia.

And Ohio Valley Wrestling had a very different booking philosophy than all of them because it was an even smaller territory, but meant to be a local proving ground facility.

You book at levels to what your goddamn venue or your audience is.

Are you doing a spot show at goddamn rec center in Elizabethtown, Kentucky?

Or are you doing a main event fucking extravaganza at the Louisville Gardens that seats 6,000 people 45 miles up the road.

You don't put Steve Austin in goddamn Elizabethtown.

It's booking to your venue and to your potential audience on television.

And talent that can get over on a regional basis because of who they are, what their gimmick is, whatever,

may not fly on national TV

just the same way as a goddamn guy who might be on top in Dallas, Texas might not translate to New York or Charlotte.

But when you're broadcasting a national television show,

you attempt to acknowledge the histories of the veteran wrestlers you have and pump up their background without going into excruciating goddamn minor detail about the Elks Lodge.

But you tell them your stories

and sell your talent the way you want it sold, not the way other people have done it.

And you explain to your audience who everybody is and why they're mad at each other and what they'd like to get out of this thing.

And then you go from there.

And just because you liked it

when you were a teenager doesn't mean you need to put it on national TV 20 years later with the same people.

That's a people say, I'm stuck in the past.

I wanted to do

in OVW 20 years ago, I wanted to do wrestling philosophically like it was done in the 80s with guys that were born in the 80s.

And they'd be 25 years old.

Now they're doing wrestling from the 90s and 2000s with the same people that were doing it.

Brian, are you still there?

Are you okay?

Yes, I am.

I mean,

have I been going on too long?

Well, it's never too long, but you're making a point.

Did I get to it yet?

That I haven't been able to determine.

I'm just, that's

the point I was trying to make is that Tony is narrow casting because he thinks that everybody knows.

All the fans know, and they're in their bubble.

Where they're the guys that didn't want to dress like they were in the street fight or didn't want to tape their fist or didn't want to explain the match or their gimmick because they're so over that everybody knows.

Well,

I got news for a lot of you.

Everybody don't know.

A lot of people didn't know that fucking

Chris Jericho was still in a wrestling business, remember?

When he was on AEW television.

So if you're trying to get any more than you've already got,

then you need to fucking not narrow cast to the people that already fucking know.

And if you always do what you always did, then you always get what you always got.

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All right, that was SmackDown.

Was it?

Oh, no.

No, no, we didn't even get there yet.

Well, I guess now it might be time, Brian, that we head over to see what the

folks down in Jacksonville are doing.

Boy, do they still have a headquarters left?

AEW and Tony and our friends over there?

Is Jacksonville still around?

What is the status of everything down there in Florida?

Oh, you're talking about because of the hurricane.

Yeah, no, I figured Jacksonville just packed up and fucking moved.

I thought you meant because of the disaster that is this season for the Jaguars.

No, I'm not even talking.

We'll talk more about that, or we may have talked about that.

We don't even know.

I'm saying, is everyone safe in Jacksonville?

Was Jacksonville one of the harmed cities?

It seems like it's over in that

up in that area, Tallahassee, Jacksonville, depending on which way it went through.

Did it do a 7-10 split?

I'm not sure, but of course we send our best to the listeners, especially in North Carolina.

I was just seeing that on the news as we are recording, but the best to everyone, and hopefully everyone in Jacksonville is safe.

I sat through the booking and the weather.

Well, yeah, from the booking and the weather.

I sat through Hurricane Hugo when I lived in Charlotte, north carolina did i ever tell you that i'm not sure

your her hurricane the hurricane the hurricane

was coming through the hurricane hugo

hugo for short

came to i had three days off in see it was 1988 september my birthday right

And it just so happened that I didn't even ask for it, but I had three days off.

And that was a time where we were never getting days off, right?

And so I had all the, I was going to sit and watch my TV wrestling tapes because we still had territories.

And I was going to have my cake and I was going to enjoy my

own bed and my air conditioning and my puppies and my family and the whole nine yards.

And the goddamn as soon, the first of the three days off, Hurricane Hugo came through, knocked the power out.

My wife, at the time, and the dogs are in the bathtub with a blanket over them,

taking shelter.

I am sitting cross-legged in my fucking bed in the bedroom

in the dark with a candle lit, eating my fucking cake with a fork, looking out the window at shit bending sideways, and fucking witches on bicycles blowing by.

Good, goddammit, it's my fucking time off.

God damn it.

I can't.

And I'm eating that fucking.

And guess when the power came back on?

When?

One hour after I had left three days later for the airport to go back on the road.

Kind of sounds like that now.

What's going on in the background now?

What?

I don't hear anything, Brian.

What are you talking about?

It's quiet as a church over here.

I hope you can get Toto inside and get some cover.

I'm not being buzzed by Air Force bombardiers.

The friendly lawn gentlemen, the grass-cutting people are here doing

their thing.

It just rained four inches here for Christ's sake.

So we got a lot of grass.

It's getting tall out there.

It's a jungle out there.

The grass-cutting people?

The grass-cutting gentlemen.

Fine, upstanding grass reapers.

Anyway, speaking of reapers.

The noisy gang of guys, if I say so much.

Well, they're raucous.

But everybody always say, we can't hear these noises, Brian.

Randy Orton's got voices.

You got noises.

And then, and AEW has neither Randy Orton nor noises over there.

It's silent as a church over there as well.

Are we talking about this television program?

AEW Dynamite.

This was the annual Grand Slam extravaganza from Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens, New York.

They've been going there.

This is the third one, I believe.

Yeah, well, they've gone from Grand Slam to stunted bunt.

What do they call it when a bunt doesn't work?

A busted bunt?

You're the baseball guy.

No, they don't really, I don't think there's really a term for it, actually.

A term for it is just cut the guy from the fucking team.

Well, no, you don't do that.

If a guy botches a bunt, you don't.

Well,

a botched bunt.

There, there's a current.

He doesn't get the bunt down.

Usually that's what you hear.

If he can't even hit the ball, just a little dribble halfway to the fucking pitcher why do they want that guy on the team we're not asking for a home run here just they knock it 25 feet well again it's not as easy as you say but again you want to keep the ball down you don't want it to go up you want it to go down if it goes up they may catch it

well not if it's only going 15 20 feet

I'd just whack it straight up and let it fall straight in front of the pitcher and let him just be dumbfounded.

So you wouldn't be bunting.

You'd actually be swinging it like a little child.

Well, no i'm i might i might bunt it i might it's not a bunt do you know what a bunt is

the bunt is where it doesn't go very far that's what the bunt is how do you hold the bat when you bunt you you gotta you gotta work with it you're you're hitting it a working shot

what do you mean

instead of trying to

what do you what do you i don't know what you mean what do you mean you're what are you talking about instead of taking a big swing and trying to hit as hard as you can and trying to knock it out of the park there You just, you work the swing so you don't really put any power behind it.

And it just goes poof.

It just poof.

Well, I mean, you kind of do like a half swing, but you, you know, sometimes you

want to kind of push the ball one way or the other.

Which two motherfuckers in this conversation right now has actually struck another human being in the stomach with a baseball bat?

Which one of us has struck a ball with a baseball bat?

No, I asked first.

I'm talking about baseball.

I'm talking about working baseball shots.

I've talked to people and never, I've never injured anyone with my working baseball shots.

So I'd be a great bunter.

So you call that a bunt, what you were doing?

Well, I was bunching them.

I wasn't home running them.

I would add it, hurt somebody.

All right.

I will wait till we have some video examples to show you for next time.

But we are.

It's

a Ring of Honor show in Chicago in what was it, 2000?

That's when I hurt my knee, as a matter of fact.

2006-ish.

the night before, I had whacked old Necro Butcher in the stomach with a baseball bat.

He was fine.

Of course,

he had pretty high tolerance for things, but nevertheless, he was unscathed.

We're not talking baseball.

We're talking tennis.

That's on video there.

We're talking tennis.

We're talking tennis.

Arthur Ashe Stadium, Grand Stadium.

That's right.

Was Arthur Ashe the only sports personality that wasn't on the commentary team?

Did we establish that Arthur ashe is still living arthur ash has passed away okay that's why he wasn't on commentary but everybody else was it was like the the chorus line in a bob fossey musical

you had you had sock face you had shivani you had taz you had jim ross justin smiley roberts was doing the uh the ring announcing every

Do you think they had a run on tuxedos at men's warehouse trying to outfit the biggest announced team in history?

Boy, those gardeners, I'm glad they don't have to outfit them.

That sounds like a crew of 100 people back there.

Well, no, that actually, that's my helicopter.

I'm late for my next appointment.

The commentating, let's just bring it up here, a very popular topic because it's true.

It's awful.

It's so bad.

Excalibur is world-class, awful.

Shivani

is world-class, awful.

And then Taz...

just has no function because he's with these idiots.

It's so bad.

It's so bad.

And then

let's let Jim Ross see if he can get a word in edgewise before somebody else takes a completely different direction.

Jim Ross can say whatever he wants, and sometimes it's really good stuff for the match.

Whatever he says, it doesn't matter.

Excalibur is going to take it and go in a different direction and then shoot the Taz every time.

Isn't that right, Taz?

And the Taz has nothing to say because it's not.

He jumps back in with, and that's what's happening.

It's like, well, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Or absolutely.

Like they're agreeing with each other instead of just going with it.

But also, he'll go down

some line and you think there's more to come.

And suddenly he'll say, right, Right, Taz?

And Taz,

yeah, okay, yeah, there you

go.

But also, I mean, you can't, if you had Jim Ross, Gordon Soley, Lance Russell, and Bob Caudle

all together, you couldn't have a coherent idea.

It's too many people, anyway.

So

Nigel McGinnis versus Brian Danielson opened up the Grand Slam.

And by the way, they seem like they had

a fair amount of people for their standards these days, but that's,

again, a big dark building because however many they had, it wasn't half

the capacity.

So

how many did they have there at the slam?

According to WrestleTicks, I don't know if this is the final number, but as of the next day, estimated tickets distributed 8,319.

Oh, yeah, that's better than we thought they were going to do.

But were they still selling tickets the next day?

Well, this is the fourth.

I was wrong.

It's not the third.

This is the fourth grand slam.

The first one, 2021, September 22nd, $19,079.

The second one, 2022,

13,321.

And then 2023, $11,263.

And this one, $8,319.

I'm going to put my money in next year.

It's going to be $6,700.

Yeah, though, say they went down $6,000 and they went down $2,000 and they went to $3,000.

I'll put in $5,900.

All right, let's stick with this next year.

Advanced prediction.

Next year, they're doing Grand Slam in Australia.

So we're talking next year, Arthur Ashe, if they run it, and I guess that is questionable.

We'll see.

If they run it, I'm saying $6,700.

You're saying $5,900.

Yeah, but it may be a moot point because now that he's dead,

has he left the place to somebody?

Not to AEW, that was for sure.

I just wonder, are they going to close it up now that he's passed on, or are they got somebody else in line to run it?

You know, he was real hands-on.

He was taking tickets and everything.

I don't know where you're going.

I'm trying not to talk about this television show.

So,

Danielson versus Nigel McGinnis.

Yes.

And

I think Nigel McGinnis is a wonderful person.

And, but this, the muddling of this story, let's talk about the muddled story first.

See if I get this right, Brian, or help me explain this muddled story.

Originally, it was going to be Danielson and Darby,

right, for the title.

Is that that's what they had?

Darby, it had been established, won the right to a title match.

Was it necessarily Akra and Slam?

That's the only thing I'm not sure of.

Okay,

but then

the point is, Moxley, whether he's a heel or a babyface or in his mind, the son of a sea cook or whatever the fuck is going on with him,

came out and said

on TV and said, after I put the plastic bag over Danielson's head, he ain't going to be able to wrestle at Grand Slam.

He ain't going to be able to get your title match.

How about you put the title match up against me?

Which actually made no sense.

Well, you're right.

Still doesn't.

So according to Moxley, it would have been Darby's match in that promo.

So yeah, you're right.

And then

in that same television show that they had established that since Danielson wasn't able to wrestle Darby, he already had his world title match if he wanted it,

that Nigel was challenging Danielson, but not for the title, just for a match.

But then

they started advertising it if Danielson shows up.

If he's clear, well, if he shows up, why wouldn't he?

You see where I'm going with all of this shit, right?

So now,

playing off of that

premise that they have set,

they came on the air with Nigel going to the ring and all of the announcers, all 27 of them.

Nobody's heard from Danielson since all out.

No guarantee he'll be here.

Nobody's seen him all day.

I'm like, how the fuck could he be?

If you're about to play this fucking guy's music on a national television program that's being broadcast live,

wouldn't he have to be standing there in front of you?

Help me.

There's no help.

It's been laid out badly, but the fans there will forgive it because they got the match they wanted, which was Danielson versus Nigel.

And

I guess the match they want, which is Moxley versus Danielson, although after that Moxley match, I don't know how anyone could ever want to watch more of him ever.

Well,

but back to this.

So then they play Danielson's music, and nobody comes out.

And then Nigel gets the microphone and says Danielson is a coward

and asks for a 10-count from the referee to be declared the winner of the match and for Danielson to be stripped of the title, even though it's not a title match.

Which the announcers actually even said.

And then the referee gets to six on his 10 count.

And then the final countdown starts playing.

So there's another 200 grand.

God damn it.

Used to when it wouldn't, if Carrie Silken went to the casino when they were in Dayton or whatever, you know, there was a casino nearby and he lost a couple of hundred bucks, the Ring of Honor guys would go, oh shit, there goes Chicago.

But this is, it was

to fuck.

and they start playing this music.

And Jim Ross jumps in and says, What a great ovation for the champ.

He hadn't come out yet.

We still don't know if he's there.

They just switched music.

They were playing a different kind of music.

And then, I mean, this thing is snake bit, brother.

And then when JR says that, Tony says, Is he here?

And then, guess what?

He walks out.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this mess?

So people

have this big entrance, too.

That's where I was going with that.

It matters to, you know, it matters to, it matters to Tony Khan because he watched the Ring of Honor tapes.

And it matters to Brian.

And it matters to Nigel.

And it matters to their friends.

And it matters to the

people that are still around, that are still watching wrestling, that watched

the Ring of Honor matches in 2009.

And all of those people put together that I just mentioned is a very small group.

And

the rest of the people know, again, even if they did a package for one week on TV that Nigel used to be a wrestler, and that was admirable that they did that,

they're saying, here's a guy that hadn't had a match in 13 years, and he's an announcer.

He's in there with the world champion of our company, and boy, it's going to be nip and tuck.

Help me with that.

It's so that

Tony could give

Brian and Nigel and that very small

group of really allegedly smart fans

a feel-good moment

on one of his big big national television programs in New York City in 20,000-seat building that's not half full.

So.

And it didn't look.

I mean, again, they went a while.

It was a competitive match.

Danielson won as he should have, as anyone would have predicted he would have.

But at times it was, you know, and again, Nigel hasn't wrestled in a long time, and he probably shouldn't be working a stiff, stiff style, considering the layoff alone.

Well, they weren't working a stiff, stiff style.

Exactly.

But they went the other way at times.

And again, their last match in Ring of Honor in New York was my first match back with Ring of Honor after TNA.

That was 2009.

And

they were great matches.

I'm not saying they weren't.

And

Nigel's in great shape for

he's had health issues and been out out of the ring he looks great for whatever his age may be

but this was a really inside match and

you know it it it it also they wanted to kind of do a little bit of all the kind of stuff they used to do but they went from world of sport style wrestling to

nigel was trying to crush Danielson's arm with the steel stairs.

So they went from world of sport to world of attempted murder in the same match.

And

if

what they could have done with this is Tony could have said, Tell you what, guys,

the next time we do a Ring of Honor pay-per-view,

then you should main event that.

And Nigel, you call Danielson out.

And Brian, you accept what, however, but that's the audience they were going for.

And this just makes no sense to put on their

current current flagship program.

And nobody was going to get hurt because they didn't want to hurt each other.

But part of the

morbid attraction of their original matches was that somebody was always getting hurt because they were fucking beating the shit out of each other.

And

themselves.

Those are physical matches.

Those are really physical matches.

And this wasn't that.

And it shouldn't have been that.

And it couldn't be that.

And it was all right.

But

it.

I mean, they popped for Nigel's clotheslines.

And as a matter of fact, at one point, Nigel hit a clothesline and got a two count and then hit another clothesline and got another two count.

And the people were really up.

And then they sat back down because

the people were ready for the comeback and the finish, but the boys weren't ready to give it to them yet.

And they did

some more stuff.

And then finally,

Brian kind of got the labelle lock and not very tight.

But then they were kind of jockeying out of it.

And then he got back into it, not very tight.

And then the network even fucked the finish up

because the idea was: as Nigel is about to tap out

in the labelle lock, he's going to scream, Thank you,

which is a guy show respect to his old nemesis, right?

The fucking guy with the audio button at TBS thought he said fuck you and bleep the thank you.

So the goddamn announcers had to say, I think he said thank you

because

they audio muted it where it's like, Resnefer is distorted.

When he said thank you, oh God,

it turns out this whole time Moxley's been telling us to go thank ourselves.

There you have it.

So I guess now they're getting so

gun-shy about whatever these wild, crazy maniacs will say on this program that they're just bleeping anytime somebody yells something.

But I hate to hate to criticize these guys, but I got to criticize these guys.

It just wasn't the venue and it was too long.

And it didn't help anybody, but make them feel good in the end.

Is that the end for Nigel?

Is he going to be like a wrestler?

Is this the end for little Rico?

I mean, he did the Battle Royal in Wembley, and now this.

Is that the end?

Is he actually

in the middle of a comeback or was it all just so he could have the match with Danielson?

No, from what it looks like to me, now I could be wrong.

I have no inside knowledge, but it looks like to me, everybody likes Nigel, and they should.

Tony likes Nigel.

You know what Tony does for his friends.

So Nigel should get to wrestle in Wembley,

and Nigel should get to have one more match with Brian.

I don't know whether this is a

long continued comeback tour or not.

But in that case, he should have just gone ahead and beat Danielson because what the fuck?

And then Christian,

and they've got to end it with comedy.

Christian Cage's music plays, and he comes out with the contract that he can sign and get a world title match anytime.

And they're going, oh my God,

he cashes in against Daniel said he's just gone 15 minutes or 20 minutes or whatever with this hard match.

And Pip Sabian sneaks up behind Christian and steals his pin and runs off.

So then

Christian runs to chase him and goes through the curtain and comes face to face with Pac and Claudio.

And he gets scared and he runs the other way.

And then that we were 27 minutes into the program by the time that all of that was over with.

Do you think we'll have a match for the pen?

Pen on a pole.

Is the pen necessary?

Do you need that pen to sign that contract?

Well, it's the only pen he had.

It's the first time.

The first time stolen pen theft was a no, it's the only, it's the only pen he had, and he hasn't had any lead in his pencil since the Attitude Era.

So,

but anyway, speaking of the pencil being poorly

packed,

the next match on this program was for the FTW title.

How about FTT?

Fuck this title.

Wouldn't that be more apropos?

Well, that's kind of what the ending was here, isn't it?

In a sense, not to say fuck this.

Well, I think maybe Taz just demanded his property back.

He don't trust these people anymore.

But we get there.

Hook versus Roderick Strong.

And of course, and he's got Tavin and Bennett.

And Tavin and Bennett never wrestle on this show, and they're better than half the people that are wrestling on this show.

And they rang the bell because this is the FTW title.

Anything goes,

no disqualification, lazy booking.

And they were on the floor with kendo sticks and interference from the Stooges within the first 60 seconds of the thing.

So

seriously, what is the point?

I will get to the meat of the matter.

After taking a variety of bumps on chairs set up in the middle of the ring

for no good reason, Hook choked him out.

Imagine that.

And then Roddy and Tavin and Bennett are standing there, and Roddy offers his hand

and shakes Hook's hand and hugs him

and rolls out.

And then Tabin and Bennett shake Hook's hand

and they

leave.

It was like they were moving to another town.

What was that?

Well, that's it.

It was like a goodbye.

Like, well, you know, it's been great working with you, kid, but it's time for us to mosey on down the road.

They were just hitting each other with fucking weapons and chairs and kendo sticks and

whatever the fuck and try to drop each other on their necks.

And it, oh, okay, shake hands and see you later.

I don't what

shake hands with me and my friends.

All is forgiven, though, apparently.

And then,

or maybe is it Hook that's saying Sayonara here?

Because then Tony Schiavone,

Ace reporter, gets to the fucking bottom of the thing with

he says,

and this is a quote from Tony:

In 1998, three miles away at the Elks Lodge,

the FTW title was born by your father Taz.

Besides the horrible grammar, what kind of smart mark bullshit is that for national television?

Yeah, we used to wrestle at the Elks Lodge is what the average boo, what?

The Elks Lodge.

They're in a 20,000-seat building.

It's not half full, but they're talking about the Elks Lodge 25 years ago.

So anyway, Hook says, Thank you, Tony.

But all good things must come to an end.

So, on behalf of my family,

I thank every wrestler who's ever competed for this title and all the fans who have supported it.

And in this very moment, the FTW title is officially retired.

And he hands it back to Taz and he hugs Taz and Hook walks off.

And Taz had a gleam in his eye there.

It was a somber situation.

It would have brought a tear to a glass eye.

So now they've retired the FTW title.

And like I say, maybe it was Taz just calling his property back in.

Like, what the fuck?

What happened here?

I saw this as a good thing.

They reduced the championship from AEW.

That's something they've had to do.

They probably should do it a few more times.

Too many titles.

And if this is their way of acknowledging that and getting rid of one of them with a very happy moment where Hook wins the title, well, here he was the champion, kept the title.

Yes.

And then shook everyone's hand and then gave it to his dad.

It was a very nice, neutral, sports-based moment.

I liked it.

Goodbye, FTW.

Well, the only way it would make any difference is they followed with another seven or eight belts.

But just besides that,

the heels being heels until they're happy heels, and then

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

You know, Brian, maybe what the thing is, is that Taz said, you know, I'm not getting any younger.

And I don't know whether this company is going to last too much longer or not.

I need my belt back, my FTW title belt, so I can maybe auction it off or something, raise some cash for my retirement.

Really?

You don't think he's going to leave it to hook?

Well,

he's already left it to hook and hook barely hung on to it.

I think now it's time for him to cash in.

You know, he ought to go to our friends at Shopify

because I bet you they could get him a ton of money.

He could just start selling belts and boots and tights and all kinds of headgear, all kinds of things.

Well, maybe we could wait a few years and hook and go to Shopify and sell the belt that he now has when Taz, you know, moves to Florida.

I don't think you ought to wait to go to Shopify.

I think you ought to do it right now because nobody does selling better than Shopify.

That you've seen the mushrooming amount of rich people in the world.

People are getting richer all over the world.

It's because they're hooked up with Shopify because that's the home.

of the number one checkout on the planet.

I will have you know, Brian, that shop pay boosts conversions up to 50%.

Now, it used to be hard to get paid.

What you used to have to do is you used to have to put your goods and your merchandise and the things you were trying to sell, you put them in a big sack and you put them on your back and you trodged, you trodged through the mud and the snow and you went from outpost to outpost.

And sometimes they might give you a dollar bill, but before that, they'd give you coin of the realm.

And sometimes they wouldn't even do that.

They would give you pelts and skins, raccoon furs, and otter claws and the like that served as monetary compensation.

And then you'd have to trudge and slodge that back to put it in the bank there at the local general store with good old Cincinnatis.

But no more, Brian.

You don't have to do that anymore.

Because Shopify,

if you're selling your goods and merchandise through our friends at Shopify, if somebody wants to pay with a raccoon pelt, that's what conversions means.

They will take that pelt and they'll give you the equivalent amount in United States coinage.

Now, what more service can you want performed than that?

I can tell you what more service?

The truth.

None of that is true, ladies and gentlemen.

You cannot trade any sort of pelt off any sort of dead animal.

That is not the kind of of

converting visitors of your website into paying customers, happy, happy customers, receiving happy, happy packages from your friends, from you actually, and your friends at Shopify will be there to help you.

Well, I'm not saying dead animals.

I'm just saying the skin off of dead animals.

You're not saying live animals.

But no, live animals.

Now, they'll convert those too.

Now, let's

pay with chickens.

You can't pay with chicken.

You can mail them, apparently, but you can't pay with chickens.

you know what in evansville indiana this old guy used to pay christine jarrett for his general admission ticket sometimes with a bushel of beans from his from his garden this is

convert the beans too this is why i'm happy vince mcmahon got wrestling out of the uh smoke-filled barns but he was there every week for years and years because of those beans And I'll tell you what, folks, you're going to be there for years and years laying back and relaxing with farting through silk with all the money in your bank account because of Shopify.

No more carts going abandoned.

Way more sales going

just like that, see?

So if you're into growing your business, your e-commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are existing there.

On the web, in your store, in their feed?

If they're in their feed, does that mean they're having lunch?

No, in their social media feed, not their bag of food.

Oh, oh, I figure, well, people on the go, I've seen that's fashionable in the bigger cities these days.

They're just tying a bag around their neck where they can lean over and graze.

But anyway, no matter what kind of business or operation you're trying to run, Shopify will help you take more money in because they will not

take no for an answer.

If these people don't want to pay you or buy gum, they're going to...

They're going to get a knock on a door.

So right now, folks, as the lawnmowers...

sound like lawnmowers sounds like someone with a chainsaw is coming for you right now jim they're working on the wall right now

but then see they use shopify also i i can't not pay them i i've tried to run them off there they're unfireable that's another thing if if you're using shopify people can't fire you you have your job for life that's not true they're afraid of shopify they're getting closer jim but that's not true it's inside the wall so upgrade your business right now and sign up for your $1 a month trial period right now.

And for heaven's sake, if you can't afford a dollar, what are you doing right now?

You ought to be digging a ditch somewhere if you don't have a dollar hanging around.

Anyway, Shopify.com slash JCE,

all lowercase, that's shopify.com slash JCE

to get the $1 a month trial period and upgrade your selling today.

Ooh, that's sweet selling.

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All right.

Well, I don't know about how much sweet selling there was on this show, especially in the next match, but let's go back to AEW Dynamite.

Well, that's the problem.

The next match,

people were calling this a great tag team match between

the Hardley Boys, Maddie and Nikki, and Osprey and Felcher for the tag team title.

And I'm trying to, it was a great, long, big, long match.

Multiple picture and pictures.

Multiple, multiple.

And you couldn't follow the shit when it was the only thing on the screen, much less with a

douche commercial on the left-hand side.

I'm just, did I write down how long this thing lasted?

It was 13,

easily 20 minutes.

But here's the problem.

It wasn't a great tag team match.

It wasn't even a good tag team match.

It was a

wonderful athletic

exhibition.

It was, you know,

was it more video gamish or more kung fu movie-ish for the things that the kids play when,

you know, when they're bored these days,

it was a lot of that.

But this wasn't a wrestling match, and it's not, it's AEW.

Brian, what tag team match of the last

five years that we have watched?

Did I say was the greatest tag team match I've seen in 20 years or maybe ever?

What company presented that match?

I think it was AEW.

I think it was FTR versus Juice Robinson and Jay White.

Yes, it was.

And they went an hour, 58 minutes, actually.

And it was one of the greatest tag team matches, if not, as I said, the best I've ever seen.

So it's not like I won't give AEW any credit.

It's just that this, whatever this was, it wasn't a tag team wrestling match.

There were no tags.

Within 30 seconds, they just all jumped in and started doing four-way spots.

And that

desiccated corpse of a referee just stands there slackjawed because

why does he referee all the Buckaroos' matches?

Because he's their guy.

And he doesn't do anything.

And he doesn't care that he looks like a feckless asshole.

And

every match is a Texas Tornado gymnastics match.

And this was classic Bucks of several years ago when it was non-stop, big moves, kick out of everything.

The fans going to the indie shows went crazy.

It got exposed on the national stage.

People stopped caring.

But again, it was a Texas tornado match.

And, you know, it's.

The guys having to stand in position forever to, you know, catch the dive or the flip or the whatever.

They have the baby face

straining to make a tag when both the heels are just in the ring beating his partner up and the referees then are doing nothing about it.

And they stay in for all the spots and then they'll tag in and out until they come in for more spots.

If you pay attention to Rick Knox during this match, it becomes so interesting watching him do nothing.

At times, he just stands in the corner kind of split-legged with his hands at his side, and he does nothing.

He's just watching what's happening.

And

at one point, he got a round of booze because he was so zoned out by just every repetitive thing he was seeing in front of him looked like they were on visual speed search

that then Osprey gets a cover and the referee stand and not do anything.

Oh, shit.

And he runs and counts one, two, and the people booed the shit out of him.

Like, what the fuck?

You haven't done anything in 15 minutes and you're standing there

staring at this.

And then one of the baby faces has to lay on the floor and sit there and watch the other two heels kick the shit out of his partner until it's time for him to come in and make a save.

And then they go through the series of moves where you can't tell who is beating who up.

One guy will pick a guy up for a fucking power bomb and the guy will spin in the air and grab him by the hair and facebuster him

and that guy will jump up and turn around and the other guy will stick his foot down his fucking throat with a flying savat kick it

and then everybody will suddenly just decide to sell all at once when nobody sold anything

and then

at one point they gave felcher

a spike

tombstone pile driver off the top rope onto the apron

Then he's on the floor.

He was dead for nine seconds, then rolls back in.

And by the time they come back from the commercial break, he's giving stereo styles clashes to one of the buckaroos with his partner, Willy Boy.

And then they did more four-way video.

Is this what the video games look like these days?

I don't think you play any video games.

I don't see any video games that are like this.

Even their video game wasn't like this and their video game bombed.

Well, because, I mean, human beings don't do these moves, and they make no sense, and they require the obvious cooperation.

I'm thinking, what are they acting like?

Because this is not wrestling shit.

What are they?

Is it the

live-action kung fu movie then, or are they trampoline

gymnastifying?

You know, whether they realize it or not, it's a live-action The Kid with the Golden Arm.

It's a Shaw Brothers film.

So that's what this is.

Well,

so, and then

here, now, here, the fates were even trying to be kind to me.

They were 16 minutes into this fucking thing, and I recorded the program on two different DVRs in the house, right?

And

on both of them, 16 minutes in, I got a sudden black screen, and then the DVR would jump ahead.

One of them jumped ahead four minutes.

One of them only jumped ahead two minutes.

But it was like automatically the cable gods were trying to say, he can't take anymore.

Get to the end of this fucking thing.

So

whatever happened in that two minutes, they come back.

They're doll diving to the floor.

And Don Fallus gets up and gives Kyle a screwdriver.

He was giving everybody a screwdriver and then some of them would use it and some of them wouldn't and some of them would take it away away from the other ones, and they'd try to stab each other in the face and hit the turnbuckle or whatever.

And

they were using a screwdriver.

Well, now the screwdriver returns.

Don gives Kyle the screwdriver, and then Don runs around and draws the referee.

And old Kyle rolls in the ring and he draws it back, and he's going to stab one of the fucking goofs.

And then suddenly, Osprey is there and grabs his arm and jerks the screwdriver away.

And he's saying, no, no, no.

No, no, you can't, Bruv.

You can't, Bruv.

You're casting, Bruv, with the screwdriver.

You think my impressions are going to get over like yours do?

I like the colour of Jim, not the screwdriver.

Bruv?

Yeah, yours is better, I guess.

Anyway.

So the Osprey, the narc grabs the screwdriver and walks, instead of just throwing it out of the ring, he walks over and hands it to the referee.

Like, here, I want you to know that we're not using this, that you don't even know what's happening because you're a complete idiot.

You've turned your back on everything.

You're really, of all the referees to hand this important thing.

Yeah, here, yeah, here.

Instead of just flinging it out of the ring, here, I'm going to entrust you with this.

So then, old fucking corpse referee immediately walks to the other side of the ring and leans out and starts trying to hand it physically to somebody and obviously turning his back so as not to see anything.

So,

Maddie has gotten one of the title belts, and as Osprey turns, and why does everybody, when they turn around to go in the other direction, they turn at a dead run, they suddenly turn and take off, like I'm gonna go now.

And he runs right into the belt.

Boom, Maddie nails him with the belt,

and then Maddie

rolls the goddamn.

I think he dropped the one belt, and then Felcher rolls

Maddie up somehow.

No, wait, what a Maddie hit Osprey with the belt.

That's what it was.

And then

he's got the belt.

But when Felcher rolls Matt up,

Matt throws the belt out to Nick, and Nick hits Felcher with the belt or something.

But somehow somehow they ended up hitting Felcher with the belt and the head too.

And they cover him and they got a two count.

They can't even fuck the fucking baby faces when the baby faces that they're fucking are mostly heels.

And then they picked him up and did that shitty double knee lift, and that did the trick.

One, two, three.

So it was a goddamn ridiculous finish.

In a match filled with ridiculous finishes.

In a match filled with ridiculous non-finishes.

And

again,

who were we?

So we're cheering for the fucking team managed by the evil bald guy that gives people screwdrivers to stab people with.

The part where Matt Jackson kicked out of the big moves was the most egregiously unbelievable thing of the match.

And again, wrestling is an unbelievable sport, but there are certain things that push the imagination beyond what's normal.

Matt Jackson.

Matt Jackson reverting back into Rogue Warrior Buck again, where he's the strongest force in the universe.

Ridiculous.

They did multiple finishes for minutes on end, kicking out of everything, while the referee did nothing.

This match, there are a lot of people who thought it was amazing to...

A lot of us who thought this five years ago, seven years ago, whatever it was.

It's the same thing we've seen before.

It's just a Texas tornado match where the Bucs

get to do the stuff they want to do with their friends.

And it doesn't fit into the world of professional wrestling.

It doesn't fit into the rules of wrestling.

And yeah, I wasn't a big fan of that.

And

as I've mentioned before, the reason why that they were able to attain the position they have attained is because they found marks that were willing to let them do shit that nobody else could do, wanted to do, or should have done.

And then you get over until everybody realizes that's the only thing you can fucking do.

Yeah, but that's the problem, too.

This is a stadium show in New York, and it was the smallest stadium show crowd that they've done in New York.

And this was just a match on the show.

Most dynamites draw, what, equal to, if not less than, at this point, what the Bucs are drawing on the indies.

Right?

When we come there with a big drawing card and going all these random indies and drawing big houses against, you know, the Hardys or whoever they were working with.

The crowds are smaller now than they were then.

And they're in Arthur Ashe Tennis Stadium.

What about if they decided to play tennis where they let one

group of the doubles people,

they can both cross back and forth and hit it on either side they want, and they can catch it and throw it back with their bare hands if they can do that.

I bet it might pop the people, but should they just be allowed to do that because they can't really play and follow the rules.

And the other sad thing is the team that comes out of this looking impressive is Osprey and Fletcher, who I'd never seen teams before.

And they had size and they look good together.

They had size there.

Because someone recently said to me about Daniel Garcia, they go, you think he's a big guy.

He's a lot smaller than you realize, but because everyone on AEW TV is so small, he looks big.

Who knows how big they are?

I think Fletcher legit is like 6'5 or something, but they look good in there together.

Well, that's the thing.

Again, if it's too too late now because Osprey's, you know, he's closer to the end than the beginning with the way that he works and the shit that he does.

But if these two guys were producible, what a fucking babyface team with all the fancy things they could do if they did three of them per match and had strong heels to call a match.

You could make money with these two guys as a top babyface tag team.

Athletically, visually, cosmetically,

they got fancy outfits, they are flashy, they look, but it's just more of this

nonsensical fucking parody wrestling that,

you know, that they all have to do when they get in there and they take the feedback of the smallest group of

fans possible to determine what they should do with their goddamn careers.

Anyway, would you like to move on?

Let's move on from whatever that was.

Yes, because poor Prince Nana.

So I don't know what the benefit of this is,

but they have Tony Schiavone bring Prince Nana out on stage

and beat around the bush in some, again,

tortured way of getting to the point.

How Swerve

and Nana starts actually getting to do a promo.

Can you remember the last time Nana just did a promo for the guy he manages?

Never.

So he's actually started to do a promo.

And of course, he has to start it with,

you know,

putting Swerve over, said that there's nothing that can stop him mentally,

but physically, he's not cleared.

And as soon as he gets that out,

here comes MVP

making his debut and stealing the show.

And the way that they had him do it was by coming out

and cutting a promo on Nana putting Swerve over, like,

you know, the greatest thing in the world, and saying all of his troubles are Nana's fault.

And it was a hell of a promo.

And

much of it was true

in terms of that Nana in the booking, in the creative, has never gotten to say anything or do anything meaningful.

He never interfered when Swerve was a heel for the most part.

When he's been a babyface and he's been attacked, Nana

wasn't even worked in to fight back.

So

now MVP comes out and tells him off, and then Nana.

has to stand there with a blank look on his face when MVP says, here's my card.

Give it to Swerve.

And he walks off and Nana stay again.

You don't let a guy go out there and just get buried and say nothing at all, do you?

Especially when he manages one of your top fucking guys.

Help me.

And if MVP's a heel, which he is, you know, that's the best way to use him.

He came out there and told the truth.

He just came out there and

you agree with him.

As he's saying it, it's like, yeah, you know what?

If Swerve really did have a good manager like MVP, maybe things will be different.

Nana danced, even though Swerve wasn't even out there.

He danced and he had like a bag of coffee.

And then he started

promo.

But also then if MVP is the heel, which it sounded like he was, but I thought Swerve just switched back heel.

But then Nana would be a heel, but they like Swerve and they like Nana.

No, Swerve became a babyface again when they burned his house down.

Oh, I forgot about that.

Was the last thing.

Yeah, he was a heel for three weeks before that.

Okay, then the heel just came out and told the babyface off, and the babyface said absolutely nothing.

It did nothing about it.

Well, obviously, this is the setup you would think Swerve turning down MVP and then MVP has something, has a problem with Swerve, and that sets up maybe whoever may be coming in with MVP.

But the problem with that is, why would he turn MVP down at this point?

If you saw Nana,

If you were Swerve, would you say, hey, why do you tell that motherfucker off?

Why do you tell him to fuck this and fuck you and fuck the other?

Or something?

You don't have Nana just stand there and like a mute.

Even if that was the idea that they had,

someone

should have been producing that, should have been, well, but

where's Nana's balls?

Can we go run, find them and give them back to him?

He should have taken the card and torn it up in his face and said, if you want to talk to Swerve Strickland, I can't do his accent, then you go through Prince Nana.

And MVP could say, oh, we'll see about that.

And then now you got a goddamn conflict.

What do you have there is a doormat.

Right?

What do you think of the idea of MVP coming in potentially with Lashley or Shelton Benjamin?

Some people have had a problem with it because of specifically the age of the wrestlers

mentioned.

Some people have a problem with it because they're WWF superstars, whatever it may be.

WWE, excuse me.

What are your thoughts on MVP, who I thought came across like a major league star right away on the show?

What are your thoughts on him potentially having the hurt business?

Well, I don't think it matters MVP's age because he's a manager.

And I think a lot of people know who the fuck he is, as opposed to the

federal witness protection program participants that are on a lot of this program.

Yes, MVP should be there.

And

I'm pretty sure that Shelton Benjamin,

however old Shelton is right now, is in better physical condition and could stretch the living shit out of everybody on the goddamn roster.

I'd love to see

Moxley in these shoot grappling tournaments or whatever he's doing up there in

fucking Cincinnati with the Home Depot counterboy stretching him.

I'd love to see what Shelton Benjamin could do with that entire goddamn roster.

I don't think he'd start a sweat until he got past number 25.

With Lashley, my only concern is,

is he Andre the giant on that roster who could believably even,

you know, be asked to fucking put his boots on for him.

So we look at the.

Oh, my God.

He's a, he's a.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

He's a major star again from the other company that everybody knows who the fuck he is.

And the hurt business was a thing

that people watched.

It couldn't, it couldn't hurt.

See what I did there.

But no, besides Lashley, you know, looking like a goddamn Japanese movie monster next to the rest of the roster,

I think they would be an addition.

And as I said,

you know, find me anybody that is in the shape Shelton Benjamin is in on that roster and i'll

fucking eat your hat how's that

well brian i know you had to have watched the next one the uh the big one-on-one conflict between maria may and yuka sakazaki first of all pay close attention to this first of all let me say something maria may mariah may you know you got me doing it your stupid nicknames mariah may maria mariah they call the wind one of those things mariah may is really good She belongs in NXT or WWE.

With that said, there's a lot going on this week.

And if there was a match I was going to skip, I thought it would be

what a lot.

Most people every week on the show actually skip the women's segment, and I went with that.

Who's your favorite baseball player on the Mets up there?

Right now, Francisco Lindor.

Well, what about if old Francisco Landell

was to have a home run hitting contest with a fifth grader from fucking East Queens Elementary School.

Would you watch that?

You know,

in theory, it could be entertaining, but in execution, I think it would just be a really sad and pathetic thing.

I probably wouldn't watch it, no.

Well, whoever booked this ought to be executed.

Yuka was dressed like a Japanese genie in a bottle.

And what is she, 12 years old?

I mean, she wouldn't qualify for most of the rides at Six Flags, would she?

And then they started the match.

She's 31.

She's 31 years old.

Five foot two, 31 years old.

Five foot two, eyes of blue, looks like something from a zoo.

Trained by the DDT dojo.

Oh, I'm sure she was.

31 years old, and

she must have been a heavy smoker in kindergarten.

Stunted her growth.

Well, you know, the genie, you know, the inside the.

Well, yeah, you need a bigger bottle.

It's like a jockey.

I guess the jockeys and genies have to naturally,

because of the demands of the profession, they have to be smaller.

Yeah, they got to bring some smoke.

They stood there and slapped each other in the face over and over.

And then they were laying some of them in.

For some unknown reason, that's a good way to lose an eardrum.

For no reason whatsoever.

Anyway, finally, Maria foiled the magical girl splash off the ropes and won the match.

And then

the drama began unfolding.

Now help me, Brian, with this.

Maria is the heel.

And she

beat the babyface and then was going to menace the babyface further, but Willow Nightingale ran out to tell Maria not to do anything to Yuki.

And this is.

Yuka.

Yuka.

I'm sorry, or were you just going to vomit?

It was Yuka.

You said Yuki.

It's Yuka, not Yuka.

Okay, Sakazaki.

Yuka, Sakazaki.

Not Yukaki.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Not Yuki, Sakazaka, but Yuka Sakazaki.

Again, the last name wasn't in question.

I don't know why you threw that in there, but no, Yuka Sakaki.

Well, because I had the I where the E was supposed to go.

There's an A, E, I, O, and sometimes a U.

Except

C.

Well, that's true.

So then Willow, when the music played, and Willow was standing guard over Yuka, so Maria couldn't menace her,

then music plays, and Willow just turns her back on Maria to look at the music.

And that's when Maria.

Seriously, what is she looking for?

There was nobody else there right then.

It was just music.

So she was looking at the music.

Whoa,

looking at the music all the time.

On a lazy moment.

Anyway, so when she turned around to look at the music, Maria hit her.

You know what she did, don't you?

She hit Willow, hit Willow, hit Willow

with the title belt.

boom, knocked her on her keaster.

Well, then Mitsu Arakawa came out because

it was her music.

She was just running late.

Oh, it was Mina Shirakawa?

I just watched the show.

No, you didn't say that.

I didn't realize that's who you were.

Okay.

Yes.

She came out, but then she was shocked at what Maria.

She shot her?

No, she was shocked, I say.

Shocked.

She was shocked.

No,

we're not talking about what punishment they deserved.

We're talking about what actually happened.

She came out, but she was shocked that Maria had hit Willow, hit Willow, hit Willow, when Willow turned to watch

Mitsu Arakawa's music.

But then Maria ran to Mitsu and picked her up and hugged her, and they danced.

And

they danced.

Wasn't that the hooters?

And then

Yuka, who's been down in the ring since she got beat,

she chased Maria away from hugging

Mitsu.

But then Mitsu and Yuka

stared at each other because they didn't know what to think.

I didn't either.

I didn't know what to think.

You talk about how many of the Tony Kahn book feuds are about friendships.

This is a big one.

It's about hugging.

That's a big deal to him.

Who's going to get that hug?

Who deserves the hug?

Who gets an all-out hug?

No, this is, I mean, you know,

Mina Shirukawa is very attractive, and Mariah May is very good in the ring, but

the vision is no.

Yeah.

It's a no.

No.

I think we go back to that fifth grader at East Queens Elementary in the home runs.

East Queens.

Like there's a school East Queens Elementary.

Well, how do you know that there isn't?

Do you know every single school in all of Queens?

I'm willing to say there's no East Queens school.

Look at

East Queens Elementary.

Well, maybe it's a high school.

I'm sorry, I may be misinformed.

Who's informing you?

Who is your informant?

They send me a goddamn list of all the schools I'm supposed to stay away from.

What?

So, anyway, now it's time for our main event.

So now the main event of Grand Slam

is Darby Allen putting his title match that he earned before in some fashion that I've forgotten at this point

against Dar against Brian Danielson or whoever the champion may be.

He's putting that title shot on the line against plumber Jon Moxley because Moxley said, hey, since I put the plastic bag over Danielson's face and he can't

have the match with you at Grand Slam, even though he had a match at Grand Slam,

just put your title match up against me for no reason.

And Marina Schaefer is there also.

So that's our main event, right?

You know, I got a...

What?

I was just going to say, before you get to the match, you know, even the entrance alone, there were things to talk about.

Well, I mean,

he's got to come again through the breezeway or the archway or the bowels of the building and out through the thing.

And

is he a babyface or is he a heel?

He's got no heat, but people, the crummy music he's using now, instead of

wild thing, they can't sing along.

You know, he walked right past the people.

One guy who looked very pleased to be there patted him on the shoulder.

I'm scared of him, they're scared of Marina Shafir.

Yeah, and

that's the thing is,

you

probably,

I believe from what you said earlier, I can't remember now whether it was on or off the air, you hated this like you hate, like we both hate normal Plumber Moxley matches, right?

This is another Moxley match, I could say, is one of the worst matches I've ever seen.

The pacing of it, the dead crowd during the pacing of it, and just his whole style in the ring is

terrible.

And this was endless.

I don't want to see Moxley anymore in the ring.

Like, I don't want to see my money.

I'm not saying, no, you can't say 20-something minutes of Darby Allen getting thrown around like a sack of fucking dog shit

is endless.

He came out there wearing a camouflage jacket.

That's the first time he's done that.

He looked like that crazy guy in Elaine Bennis's office when he

We're going to be Jay Peterman.

Like, all of a sudden, he's like, what are you making about death?

Like, all of a sudden, a really dark guy in there wearing a camouflage for no reason.

He wasn't in the army.

Or was that he wearing a camouflage jacket?

He didn't want anybody to see him.

It's become apparent that Moxley must watch movies and get ideas.

Because, again, his idea with punk was Rocky III.

Let's do Rocky III.

Someone has to go back through the TV guide and see if there was a Rocky marathon on that weekend or something.

Well, no, no, no, because he's gone to the more obscure streaming shit now.

Well, again, now he's Neo Moxie.

Moxie.

Moxley.

Neo Moxie.

Neo Moxie.

Neo Moxie.

He's a Neo, a Neo Mox Zoom dweeby for all of you Moon Unit Zappa fans.

He's in like fucking green corduroy.

I don't even know what to think of this whole thing.

And again, the tough one is Marita Shafir, who they never really established until a little bit on Commentary Here

as having a legitimate background where she can act like she's as tough as she's acting.

No,

I think they said that a couple of years ago when she was actually on TV every once in a while before.

Well, then she said we didn't know her, so I'd take her at her word.

But no, here's the thing.

I didn't hate this as bad as I hate most of them, even though it was interminable.

And people have done the deed, inseminated themselves, gotten pregnant, and delivered a child in less time than it took to fucking get this thing over with.

But it's more entertaining

than normal to watch Moxley when it's Darby because you get to see which way he's going to try to figure out how to cripple himself next

to try to get this fucking schlub Moxley over and fulfill his fantasies.

And you can tell he has dreams at night in his world of bad B movies where he's this tough guy.

Rome.

Maybe one night he's Rambo,

and then the next night he's the fight club guy, and the next night he's the

Neo Moxie from the Australian Independent film.

And in real life, he wakes up the next day and he goes and he gets stretched in a fucking amateur jiu-jitsu tournament by his one and only opponent.

But it's just

this kid, if he's willing to take these bumps, then once again,

draw him back to one or two per match and put it on pay-per-view or would it mean this?

I don't know what the fuck this thing was supposed to mean otherwise than to

give Moxley a four and a half inch stiffy over getting to be a badass and beat somebody up.

And the only way he can do it is when the other guy's fucking half his size and letting him.

And then,

but even then, Moxley at one point sup

not only did Darby dive through the ropes when they had pulled up the mat so he landed flat of his back on the wood covering the tennis court,

then Moxley suplexed him back first on the steel stairs.

And 30 seconds later, Darby was coming off the top of the coffin drop.

So what?

And then

help me out on this because I told you about my other DVR issue earlier in the show when it tried to skip ahead to the end of the Young Bucks match because it was fed up.

Of course, they went over time.

My DVR froze at 10 o'clock.

I recorded Modern Family after that

so that I could see whatever they were going to do for a finish for whatever.

And I tried to play Modern Family and I got a black screen for 10 seconds and then it jumps to the end.

So what the fuck happened here?

That was the lights out portion.

Boy, it certainly was pitch darker than a banker's heart, I'll tell you that.

Moxley choked out Darby.

Darby

was frothing.

I guess he had a bloody mouth.

So it was just like orange froth.

It was kind of the same.

Orange froth.

I thought that was a new soft drink.

Well, Tony has the money.

But that was the end.

And then someone in a hoodie ran out holding a blue object, a necktie.

They throw back to when he was suspended with Nexus or whatever the fuck that was years ago.

Brian Danielson.

That was what, fucking 10, 12 years ago?

On Justin Roberts, too.

But

Brian Danielson starts choking out Moxley.

Of course, Moxley is saved by Marina Shafir.

And then eventually Claudio and Pac also hit the ring.

But Brian Danielson has nothing to worry about.

He is saved by Private Party, Commander, and Alex Aberonte.

Oh, no.

No.

And then he gets on the mic and he tells Moxley that he declares war, which I thought sounded a little cheesy the way it was done.

But then he also said he was going to kick Moxley's fucking head in, how they bleep fucking, as well as head and in.

I'm glad he didn't say thank you.

So

there you go.

At WrestleDream.

So wait a minute.

So hold on here.

Let me just get the scorecard down here.

So there's Moxley and there's Claudio

and Pac was out there with them.

Yeah.

And

Schaefer.

And was there anybody else on their side?

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

And the other side was Danielson,

two members of Private Party.

That's right.

And Commander.

And Alex Aberhante's hit the ring, too.

Oh, well, and we got Alex, right?

We got Alex.

So

let's see.

Commander and Alex are offset by Marina Schaefer.

Claudio whipped both a private party.

You know, it's like Danielson declared war against the evil force that forces, the evil forces of Russia, but he's leading the armed forces of Lithuania into battle.

Possibly even Liechtenstein.

Oh, boy.

All right.

Yeah, I mean, at least Private Party got a little bit of a come-up ins from Jon Moxley no-selling them completely in the most

amazing way last week when they got to hit the ring here.

But

another team AEW versus Weird Outcasts feud in some way.

Well, the question is, Brian, did anybody watch this television program this week?

AEW Dynamite, September 25th, Grand Slam,

8 to 10.05 p.m., according to.

Do you think Denny's can sue?

Are there still?

I haven't seen a Denny's in years.

Are they still out there?

Well, God, they're just going underground.

You have to know the special knock, and you go down the flight of stairs.

It's a dark hallway, and you go.

Give me some Denny's.

Well, they had a good French toast, I'll say that.

But AEW Dynamite,

8 to 10.05 p.m.

On average, watched by 700,000 viewers.

Even?

Dead even, according to this.

Well, and dead being the operative word.

Well, at least they were saved the embarrassment of being in the high sixes again this week.

It's up 2% from last week, which was 687.

The trailing four weeks, 690, so it's up 1% from that.

Obviously, a big success.

Big, major, big, huge.

Where did they start in this

journey into legendary status?

Again, these were compiled by WrestleNomics, AEW Dynamite on TBS, September 25th, 2024, for Dynamite.

Well, I said Dynamite already.

Quarter-hour breakdown.

Here it is.

Quarter one, 8 to 8:15 p.m.

The Nigel McGinnis Live promo.

They played some songs.

And then Brian Danielson versus Nigel McGinnis begins.

802,000 viewers.

Okay, then in that case,

I'm willing to say that they're not going to plummet as precipitously

as normal because if they're within 100,000 of their average, they're

why they're going to do just swell.

Well, the swell continues into quarter two, 8.15, 8.30 p.m.

Brian Danielson versus Nigel McGinnis continued the post-match with

Kristen.

With Christian Cage, Pack, Claudio Castagnoli, Jon Moxley.

Actually, no, they skipped the pen and Kepsabian.

The Pac-Claudio Moxley thing says backstage angle.

What was the angle?

What did they do?

They were standing there when Christian came around and looked at them and ran off the other way.

That's the angle.

And then an ad break,

766,000 viewers.

See, I told you that's only

36,000 people they lost.

That is much less than they normally lose.

So they're on a path to prosperity here.

Quarter three, 8:30 to 8:45 p.m.

Hook versus Roderick Strong with picture-in-picture ads and the post-match with the Undisputed Kingdom and a show of honor for the fuck the world championship.

Yeah, yeah, you know, those fuck the world people, they're always honorable.

724,000 viewers.

See, and now they're only down

78,000 from the start, and normally it's well into six figures by now.

So this is a rousing

return to form for these fine folks.

Well, we go now to quarter four, 8:45 to 9 p.m., the post-match with Hook, Taz, and a retired belt, the ad break, the start of the Young Bucks versus Kyle Fletcher and Will Ospreay with picture-and-picture ads,

679,000 viewers.

Ouch.

Okay.

So now they're down 123,000, and they're going into the 9 o'clock hour with the Buckaroos in the ring, and they normally hemorrhage viewers.

So

did they pick any up at the top of the 9 o'clock hour, even though the Buckaroos were in the ring?

Quarter five, the big 9 o'clock hour, 9 to 9.15 p.m.

The continuation of the Bucks versus Fletcher and Osprey with picture-in-picture ads.

The Conglomeration Rocky Romero backstage promo,

708,000 viewers.

Well, so they picked up

29,000 people

to be only the second lowest-rated quarter hour so far.

But now the question becomes,

when the people tuned in at the top of the hour and they were fed about another 10 minutes of the lollipop guild, guild.

Did they turn around and head out the door again?

Well, we go to

what is this?

Quarter six,

9:15 and 9:30 p.m.

The Prince Nana MVP ramp angle, an ad break, and Mariah Mae versus Yuka Sakazaki,

638,000 viewers.

Ouch, okay, so apparently 70,000 people said, oh, hell no.

And now we are at the official lowest quarter hour of the show so far and down 164,000 people.

Well, we go to quarter seven, 9:30 to 9:45 p.m.

The continuation of May versus Akazaki and the post-match with Will O'Neigal and Mina Shirakawa.

An ad break, and the start of Jon Moxley versus Darby Allen,

615,000 viewers.

Ouch.

So

even though they knew that it was safe because the Buckaroos had already come and gone, apparently they're as confused as we are about why they wanted to see

Plumber versus Darby.

Well, that match continues into quarter eight.

I remind you, we have a six-minute overrun.

Quarter eight, 9:45 to 10 p.m.

Jon Moxley versus Darby Allen continued.

Picture-in-picture ads, 684,000 viewers.

Six-minute overrun, including the post-match with Claudio Casignoli, PAC, Marina Shafir, Brian Danielson, Private Party, and Commander,

708,000 viewers.

Okay, so apparently they did want to see poor old Darby.

They just had to hide and make sure

that the Buckaroos were gone.

They picked up, hold on, what is this?

69,000 people from quarter seven to quarter eight.

So

we discount the overrun because it's usually down.

In this case, it's up, but only 24,000 people.

That's people tuning in for the next fucking show.

They started again strong and

couldn't stop the people from leaving.

They came back pretty much only at the end after they knew that all the rest of this caca was over with.

That's an accomplishment because you know what?

There's been a lot of weeks where the main event stuff was the last segment into the overrun and people left.

Brian Danielson, Swerb Strickland, a bunch of things.

They like Darby.

I mean, again, it didn't go up to 850 or anything.

But that match, it went from 6.15 and the overrun ended at 7.08.

So that's better than everything else driving people away.

Oh,

speaking of driving people away, we may have driven our listeners away with this.

It's way too much.

We need to cut back on this.

All right.

And we shall do that right now.

Because we're done with it.

We're going to time travel.

Oh, I thought it was going to sustain itself for a little bit there.

We We are in the future.

We are in the future.

It couldn't sustain itself.

No, yeah.

Thank you for announcing we've landed.

Please put your breakable Home Depot wrestling tables in their upright position.

That sounded like some kind of state early warning system to get people to go to their basement.

Do we have any listeners left, or has the

rest of the program taken care of that already?

What happens if we?

All right.

Well, we've established where we are.

Yeah, we've established a lot there with that.

I know we still have more, yet there's more.

Yes, more, there's more.

So I will shoot now to Jim Cornette.

Here's the star of the experience.

Mr.

Jim Cornette.

We're doing another segment.

See, I'd like to be able to say that this will make sense to the podcast listeners when we put it all together, but there's no possible way it's going to.

So folks, we'll just fly with this we we just talked about the aew ratings for this past week or whenever it was whenever you hear this thing

and uh

there was something on twitter and i'm not understanding it tony stormed at an interview

Yeah, let me pull this up because this was being sent to me earlier today as we are recording.

Because this is obviously one of these, she's in character with Ben Mankiewicz or whatever.

This is not like a legitimate statement.

She's not with Ben Mankowitz, she's in Japan for We Are Stardom.

Well, but I mean,

she's in character.

She's delusional over there, like she's delusional over here on the screen, on the silver screen.

Well, yeah, I think she's fallen in love with the performance, and she's certainly committed to it.

And let's go to this audio now.

Stop it whenever you want to say something.

Oh, boy.

To make a long story short,

I once had a three-month love affair with Stan Hansen.

But in our last night together,

as my back was dripping with what turned out to be chewing tobacco,

he turned to me and he gave me some advice.

He said, When you're in Japan,

you are a foreigner.

But when they step into the ring with you,

she's making a face and looking at her opponent, whoever that may be.

They are in your country.

Oh.

He gave me a large.

But not with his arm.

No.

My own human tongue.

Hallelujah.

Let me stop it there.

You know, that's things you wouldn't necessarily hear on.

Well, yeah, I guess you could hear it on American wrestling TV.

Well,

there was no profanity involved.

It was all the theater of the mind.

You know, how could I not like her if she's making Stan Hansen a fair joke?

Again,

for the people of Japan, especially the wrestling press and the wrestling conscious public of Japan.

And

again, like the United States, there was a lot more of them 30 or 40 years ago than there is right now.

Everybody knows who Stan Hansen is.

He was the most revered foreigner in all, I guess,

in history, right?

For his longevity.

He had more tours than anybody.

Yeah.

You know, you could talk about Terry and Dory, and you can talk about Abdullah and a few other select individuals, but Stan Hansen's right up there.

So if she had to pick somebody

to have the

menage of whatever the fuck with,

it would be hilarious.

Well, I don't think she said there was any menaging going on.

Well,

I don't know what they were massaging or menaging, whatever the terminology is.

What is the terminology in Japan for an illicit carnal knowledge of someone?

I'm not sure, but knowing how thorough the Japanese wrestling press are, do you think anyone's going to call Stan Hansen for comment?

You know, there's got to be at least somebody.

Remember, there was the, where was the photographer in Mexico that took down Don callas conan

he believed in angle right if the guy was there as a photographer and took down the heel manager there's got to be somebody over in japan is like oh we better verify this before we

and i don't know if if if stan's still married i'm i don't know if that

phone call would be well received at the hansen household And Mrs.

Hansen says we can't get your husband any comments on Tony Storm saying she had a three-month love affair with him

in Japan, where you weren't.

And then she'll think

he'll come home.

Were you screwing around with Tony Rose?

I thought it was all platonic with Moolah's girls back in the day.

Well, let's

hear the end of this.

Oh, there's more?

I thought giving her a Lariat without his fucking arm would kind of be the finish of this, but go ahead.

And the tobacco juice dripping down her back.

That's what she thought it was.

This is her talking about her opponent, Meyu Iwatani.

You

are stepping into my country,

but your visa is about to expire.

I will leave you the same way I did five years ago.

Questioning your life choices.

Godzilla doesn't have my thighs.

Mothra doesn't have my flaps,

and when I am IWGP women's champion,

Japan will crumble at my feet.

So,

my son,

gets out!

All right, well, there's a Time was Tony Storm from Tokyo.

Well, she knows how to go over there.

She didn't even just mention Godzilla, she mentioned Mothra, too.

At Hansen, Godzilla, and Mothra.

She hit the big three, the trilogy of Japanese pop culture.

And again, I'm wondering,

and see, I don't know.

Maybe I'm, you know, just clueless, but

does the whole

Sunset Boulevard black and white old movie, Turner Classic movie thing, does that translate in Japan?

Or do they know what the fuck is going on with this?

Well, this is on their Twitter.

Would they be in on it?

Well, this is on their Twitter.

Again, it's in English.

When she is shown at the table at the press conference, it's in black and white.

Her opponent, who's on the other side of the man holding the microphone in between them, she's she's in color well no i'm i'm not

i'm not doubting that what i'm saying is that they're presenting that way what i'm saying is does the average japanese wrestling fan or viewer in general of this you know thing does do they get

the american fascination with the classic movies and the sunset boulevard and gloria swanson and what she's doing here all about eve whatever movie they're stealing from there's probably an audience that does but a lot of other people just think she's a wacky white woman.

Well, see, there you go, because we've got, you know, these five-foot-tall Japanese pixies dressed up like Barbara Eden and I Dream of Jeannie, and we're going, What the fuck is going on here?

We have no right to complain.

We sent them something from 20 years earlier and black and white.

Yeah, so I'm thinking, do they think the same thing?

Like, what the fuck is this?

What is happening here?

I don't know.

Wendell Vince ends up running and ending up in Japan, and they take pictures of him.

And they're they're like, oh, look, another guy looking like a 1940s movie star.

Do the Japanese have any concept of Snidely Whiplash?

See, Snidely Whiplash had like a Raleigh Fingers kind of thing going, didn't he?

Help me with Raleigh Fingers.

Well, the mask.

I know he plays baseball.

The mustache curled out.

It wasn't just like a little.

Yeah, well, okay.

Well, I'm saying Ernie Kovacs then.

Ernie Kovacs works, yeah.

Ernie Kovac, do the Japanese people, or they have an affinity for Ernie Kovacs and his brand of 50s wacky, innovative television comedy.

I was going to say, at times, WWE was like some kind of weird, perverted Ernie Kovacs version of wrestling.

When you really think about it.

That's true.

Maybe

Vince was watching Dr.

Jerry Graham and Ernie Kovacs.

He must have been.

He must have been.

Oh, Christ.

Well, Ernie Kovacs would fuck up a car in a heartbeat for a gag, gag, right, for 10 seconds.

Should they have brought up the fact in the documentary that Dr.

Jerry Graham also went completely insane and also had weird issues with, you know, his mom?

With his mother.

Yeah.

Considering he's such a big influence on Vince,

you know, I think they should have almost pointed out, yeah, it wasn't just this little part.

He was also a complete drunk who did some of the craziest things ever.

Well, and of course, Vince was not, you know, alcohol was not his issue, but

the mother fixation of some description

graham's was different in that

you know he always of course for the people who don't know what we're talking about even though he was a

proliferous fucking womanizer and money waster and

you know, just wore the suits and the Cadillacs and lit the cigars with the $100 bills and the whole nine yards, Jerry Graham always sent money home to his mother in phoenix

and then

when she died or when she was in the hospital he actually threatened the doctor nothing bad better happened to her and then she died

and he went to the hospital with a shotgun and a hunting knife and broke into the place and golf clubs golf clubs

and his his son in the in the parking lot sitting in a car

and

fought his way to her room and where her body still was and stole her body, had it

over his shoulder,

you know, flinging orderlies against the wall.

The cops were outside.

They stopped him and

apparently took repossession of the body.

And

he ended up going to, he's, I just want to take her home, he was screaming.

And they would put him in the

mental home for a period of time.

And then somehow he convinced them, not too

very long a period of time,

that he was okay because he was charming like that.

And then he found out that she had left all of her money to some wacky church, that he had left her all that time.

And then he was penniless.

Was it a wacky church?

I thought it was the Reverend Billy Graham.

Funny enough, considering the last name.

Well, that

wacky church, you know, some televangelist, whatever the fuck, some scam.

And then he pretty much was broke from that point on in his life.

That was Vince's hero.

What do you think Dr.

Jerry Graham thought from his perspective when all of a sudden the teenage son of Vince McMahon, the promoter,

wants to ride around town with you and dyes his hair?

Did they even bring that up in there that he bleached his hair?

I don't remember if they mentioned it.

You know what?

I think I seem to remember somebody may have said it in passing, but yeah, no, bleach blonde hair on Vince Jr.

in the 50s.

That had to be

the same thing they did with Sputnik Monroe in Memphis

in 1959.

All the kids in their high school yearbook had bleached blonde spots in the front of their hair.

But still, just the whole idea, you know, Dad, can I talk to you?

Vinny, I'm busy.

Go hang out with Dr.

Jerry Graham.

Go ride around town with Dr.

Jerry Graham.

What?

How'd that happen?

I bet you that Vince Sr.

found out about it after the fact.

I wouldn't think that he would let anybody, you know,

go with much less his 15-year-old son go in a car with Jerry Graham.

Found out about it when he saw the hair.

But that's the thing is, still, there was this just,

you know, flamboyance and

extrovert showmanship

and mental illness of various descriptions and involving mothers.

There's got to be something there.

Yeah, and also you got to really think about him as one of the underrated,

when you think about who he influenced, one of the most influential people, because an influence on the child, Vince McMahon, obviously Eddie Graham spending as much time with Dr.

Jerry Graham.

And people did say he had good ideas.

It's just he was a reckless drunk.

Yeah.

Who you couldn't trust.

Well, would Eddie Graham have made the money to buy into into the Florida Territory if he hadn't had that two-year run with Jerry Graham in the biggest territory in the country?

And right there, you have two of the most influential bookers ever, Vince McMahon and Eddie Graham.

No, I should say influential.

Vince wasn't influential.

Vince was powerful.

One of the more powerful bookers.

Well,

not even really Booker because he still never booked himself the nuts and bolts.

He gave the direction.

He set the feuds, but I don't know that you could ever call Vince the booker because he always had somebody.

Somebody handling the locker room from the earliest days.

Did he always set the feuds?

If

the ones that mattered are the ones that were going to draw any money or with the stars or the talent that he wanted to put on top, it was...

If you had a great idea, he would listen to it, but he was pretty much saying, well, we're going to go from this guy to that guy and that guy to that guy for Undertaker or Sean or Brett or whatever the era was, the top guys.

All right.

This has been Stanhanson Porno Talk.

Well,

on the experience.

You know, and I'm, I'm worn out.

I'm ready for a good night's sleep.

You know, give her credit.

Those are good lines.

He hit me with a Lariat.

It wasn't his arm.

Good lines.

Clever lines.

I mean, she's obviously, I think Ben Mankiewicz is working for, is writing for.

Yeah, I guess the issue is.

Forgive me for cutting you off there.

I was going to say.

Well,

it hit me on this very professional program that the issue may be having this three-month Torrid love affair, lost in translation style in Japan.

I don't know if they have a fine mattress like a Helix sleep over there.

Well, you know,'cause that could have been part of the problem as why maybe their relationship didn't work out because,

you know, with the weight of Stan Hansen giving you a Lariat go over and over again

on a mattress that wasn't built for, well, just plus-size people.

Well, you might have serious issues there.

Complete spinal stenosis, possibly a fracture of the sacroiliac and the coccyx on the phroboxics.

That's what you're talking about, right?

You need some support.

Well, of course, you need some support, or maybe you want a little less support.

Well, you need some support where you won't fall through the floor.

Well, no, of course you want that much support, but I'm talking about on the the mattress.

Some like it firm, some want it soft, some like it hot.

Well, whatever you want, the folks at Helix have got it for you.

Our friends over at Helix Sleep, boy, I'll tell you what.

They make everything.

20 unique mattresses, the award-winning Lux collection, the ultra-premium elite collections.

As a matter of fact, you've got to be

DNA tested to be personally related to Maddie and Nikki, the Jackson boys, to purchase an elite mattress.

They only let people that are blood relatives sleep on these things.

They've got the Helix Plus, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers.

So if you're just, if you've just given up and said, fuck it, I'll weigh 700 pounds and just cut the wall out of the house whenever you have to drag me out of here, they got a mattress for you, pal.

And the Helix Kids mattress that is designed for growing bodies.

Now, Brian, you've told me that that doesn't mean that when the kids sleep on the mattress, it will cause them to grow abnormally large.

Is that correct?

It's not actually designed for growing bodies.

It's designed to be there to support the bodies that grow as bodies naturally grow with time here in the ecosystem on Earth.

So that's just then they've only, they've got fertilizer in them, but it's it's a natural kind.

No, there's no fertilizer.

There are no

fertilizers, nothing with manure, none of this.

Well, if it's for kids, every once in a while, there's probably going to be some manure.

Well, no, again, let's talk about for the growing body.

Yes, these mattresses are designed to help grow the bodies of your children

in every direction, but they won't get too big.

They don't do anything to change the size of your children.

They are there to support your children as they grow.

And as their minds grow and they need a lot of rest on a comfortable mattress, they can get it from Helix Sleep.

Well, talking about their minds, I can get them a couple of free pillows too.

So that'll work out for their heads also.

Do they grow?

Do their heads grow larger?

Oh, my God.

Well, it's a children's pillow.

Well, nevertheless, folks, no matter what kind of mattress you want, they've got a hundred-night trial period.

They've got 10 to 15-year warranties on these bad boys, and they come direct delivered to your home in a box that you can just open up and poof, there it becomes right there in your bedroom or wherever you want to put your mattress so that you can sleep or grow your children.

But I mentioned the pillows and a discount right now.

If you go to helixleep.com,

that's H-E-L-I-X sleep.com/slash JCE,

you're going to get 25% off all mattresses and two free pillows.

So I assume you have sheets.

If you don't, maybe they can help you.

Look around at the website.

What are you?

Some kind of fucking bum?

You don't have a set of sheets?

Oh, we leave them alone.

I don't even know who I'm defending right now, but you can get

the bed.

You can get the bed and get your own sheets.

You can Helix sleep.

Well, you can't get the bed.

You can get the mattress.

You got to have a bed or at least a floor to put it on.

Helix can't do everything for you, but you're just out here defending the sheetless people that don't give a sheet.

Right now, go to helixleep.com slash JCE, 25% off, and two free pillows.

This is, it is not going to last long.

The offer, the mattress will last 10 to 15 years minimum, but the offer will not last long because better sleep starts now with Helix, not three weeks from now, so don't dick around.

have they been suitably chastised about not dicking around who the audience yes i don't think anyone's dicking around and a lot of people just want to lay down or maybe even dick it down and you need a good mattress helix sleep one more time what's that promo code jim jce

mr dick it down all right this show's been a great episode i'm glad it's your show well what are you doing my show's gonna be

my show is gonna be very professional this week, very tight and professional.

Why don't you tell the people what all kinds of professional programs you're doing on the wrestling news and the Arcadian Vanguard network this week then, for heaven's sake?

Of course, the most professional is the wrestling news.

Get your wrestling news every day for free.

Every morning, get the wrestling news morning newscast with all of the news, none of the opinion, none of the paywall.

Get it directly from thewrestlingnews.com or wherever you find your favorite podcast, Arcadian Vanguards, The Wrestling News.

Want to make mention once again of something I mentioned last week, the latest episode of Shut Up and Wrestle with Brian Solomon, the best of volume one.

I'm on there, where Brian tells me his story about how he killed Crash Holly.

Hear that and so much more.

S-U-A-Wpod.com, or wherever you find your favorite podcast, Shut Up and Wrestle with Brian Solomon.

And of course, the 605 Super Podcast, the

Mothership!

Well, thank you very much.

Go through the archive, 605pod.com, available wherever you find your favorite podcast.

I promise you we're working on stuff, but there's been a lot of outside of recording things happening lately.

But things should be changing soon.

The mothership.

Yes.

We've got rid of that whole page there.

Well, now we've got to talk about the SmackDown, don't we?

Because we would be remiss if we didn't talk about the SmackDown.

And I don't know if you have this information, Brian, or if it's publicly available.

But is the PACOM, and

have I asked this question before and you probably answered it.

And I just, I don't remember.

Is the PACOM Center in Oklahoma City a new building or is that, did we establish that the Myriad, somebody said they had closed it or repurposed it?

The old arena there in town?

PACOM Center was originally known as the Ford Center from 2002 to 2010.

And then it was the Oklahoma City Arena from 2010 to 2011.

Then it was the Chesapeake Energy Arena.

Jesus Christ.

And then Chesapeake Energy became one of those energy companies that must have run out of money because then PACOM jumped in and they stole the arena rights.

Remember when it was, it's been Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky since 1956.

What the fuck?

What happened to the Myriad?

M-Y-R-A-I-A-D, if you're Googling.

What happened there?

That was a nice, beautiful, that was the nicest building in the Mid-South Territory in 1984.

Just beautiful.

Right downtown.

How could they have repurposed that or whatever?

Was it the Myriad Convention Center?

Yes, yes.

Seat of 13,000 people.

Prairie Surf Studios, which was originally the Myriad Convention Center and later the Cox Convention Center, is a film production complex located in downtown Oklahoma City.

Good lord.

It was a former convention center and the home of several minor league teams.

So that encompasses an arena that seated 13,000 people and they just said, fuck it, we're going to make it a fucking film studio?

Well, someone must have purchased it.

WCW Thunder aired from there February 12, 1998.

Well, whoop-de-ding, as Mama Cornette would say.

The last stampede emanated from there in 1984, and we had more people.

Anyway, at the Paycom Center here in Oklahoma City, SmackDown on September 27th had a nice-looking crowd.

Do we have any idea how many people were there?

Have I thrown you a monkey ring?

You should need me to look at it once.

Well, if you earn your keep around here,

Mr.

I ain't got it today.

If I'm here, you're here.

And we are here, and we are all together.

Coo, cu kachu.

You know who gets a big reaction in Oklahoma City while we find out how many people gave him that reaction?

Randy Orton,

who came to the ring to open the program, got a big reaction.

The Randy Chance.

And again, it was the same formula.

Their guys are so over now, the main event guys, that all they have to do is come out,

a couple of you know,

platitudes: welcome to SmackDown, great to be here, whatever.

And then, in two or three sentences, they just lay out the premise and then they get interrupted, and the people are right with it.

They don't care.

And then you see another three-minute fucking entrance or whatever.

But Randy said, I can count the people that I trust on one hand, but Cody Rhodes is one of those.

And

that's why, you know, Cody's agreed to team up with Roman.

That doesn't sit right with me, and I need an explanation.

I wish Cody would come out here and give me that explanation.

And then boom, they play Cody music, and here's another big reaction, another bunch of Cody chants, and another

three minutes of entrance while the announcers just get to sell shit.

Do we do we have a crowd yet?

According to WrestleTicks, WrestleTicks, 8,196 tickets distributed.

Well, son of a gun, they shoot it big.

I would have thought they had more than that.

So I guess our record from the last stampede is still safe.

I bet the gate here this time was a little bit bigger,

just a scunch.

And then Cody says, I may be a fool to team with Roman.

But I'd rather be a fool than a coward.

And he's, you know, he's kept his word with other things he's done.

I believe he's, I'm going to take him at his word here, and the fans are going to take him at his word.

And so then, you know, Cody's like,

it's time for the rogue bloodline to be killed.

And I hope it's not a problem for you, Randy.

And they look at each other and they shake hands.

And Randy says, no problem,

unless you make it a problem.

And then before everybody gets a chance to to go, ooh, and Cody can say anything, Owens' music plays.

Because here comes this professional malcontent.

And as a matter of fact, that would probably, I would have given him that gimmick.

The malcontent.

He can find the turd in any punch bowl, the rotten fucking apple in any barrel.

He can find out what's wrong with anything.

But anyway,

Owens comes the ring.

And Brian, we've talked about the idea.

Maybe him, he, he, he,

maybe he going,

maybe he going

to AEW

for millions of dollars to be with his friends because his contract is coming up at some point.

And have you noticed he's getting a lesser reaction than the Ortons and the Rhodeses

and the Usos and the Romans

and the

other people, even a little bit less maybe than Sammy now, because Sammy has that

Sammy.

Well, yeah, that warm, fuzzy likability.

So do you think it's time for him to

have new scenery and take somebody else's millions of dollars?

I think

if he wants to spend time with his family and make more money than he's ever made before

and not feel, and you know, I don't know.

I was about to say not feel as creatively happy, but he'd probably be very happy.

He would love that shit.

He would love that shit over there.

Because

I can kind of tell he's already been kind of fucking impatient with some of the shit he's been giving lately.

But he came to the ring and

He didn't get a chance to say anything.

He gets in the ring and boom, bloodline music.

And all four of them come out to ringside.

And now the people are booing and they're chanting OTC.

They won't acknowledge Solo.

And

Solo's deal is that the two in the ring with you, Cody,

they're no help.

They can't stop us.

You can't stop us.

So you're teaming with Roman because these two let you down

every time.

And that's when Owens jumps in and tells Solo off.

And he says, Okay, they got

Cody's got

the match he wants.

So tonight, Solo and Fatu against Randy and Owens.

And Cody steps in and says, Well, there's three and whatever the fuck.

We can have a six-man.

And that's when Owens says, No, you have yours

at

Bladblood.

Over at Bladblood, you've got your match.

Tonight is me and Orton.

So that now there's the tension there.

But Orton and Cody are still being presented as the buddies, and it's the malcontent that is stirring stuff up.

And I think this is possibly a masterful red herring.

What do you think?

Well, for long-term booking, if they're not going to rush anything with Orton, the fact that he's trying to be the peacemaker here.

It always goes back to what you say.

When he finally turns on Cody, it's going to mean a lot if if they don't tease that forever.

Instead, they're teasing Owens, and we'll see what happens at Blad Blood.

That's going to be, everything's going to be on the blind at Blad Blood.

And later on in this program,

they

have another segment where Cody and Orton and Owens are in the back.

And Cody said, Kevin, we need to talk.

And Owens said, not now.

Got the match.

Got to think about the match.

Match coming up.

Some other time.

We'll talk, you know, afterwards.

And he tells Cody,

don't come out there tonight.

Focus on your match.

Your match.

I'll stay at home with the children.

But focus on your match.

Don't come out there tonight.

And he leaves.

And then Orton says, hey,

if those tongas come out there and it's four against two, I would love to have your help.

So please come out there.

And then he's, you know, he's going to go talk to

Owens or whatever the fuck.

So again, Owens is the red herring, I think, by just being a grumpy fuck that probably in the end won't stab anybody in the back, but it

gets a chance for them to show more of the bond that Orton and Cody have with each other.

That's why the MacGuffin, if you will,

is Owens.

But that's just my opinion, and who am I?

And if Owens does leave, they're booking it right now, so they have multiple options to get out of this.

Yes.

And in the meantime, he's not really beating anybody important.

And

when I said, but who am I, you were supposed to tell me who I am?

What am I...

Swerves house.

What do I say here?

Anyhow,

they had a match then where the winner would get a match with the refrigerator.

And that was for the title at Bailey Wrestled Naomi.

And Bailey won with an elbow drop off the top rope.

It was thrilling.

You should have seen it.

Did you see it?

Did you care about it?

I wanted to watch it, but I was running low on time.

I saw parts of it.

It seemed like the fans were really into it.

Well, good for them.

I'm glad they enjoyed their night out.

Hey, it says something that the fans are reacting to the women's division here with stars.

At least some of them, because I've seen some dead matches on Raw, but they also have some women there who maybe shouldn't be there.

But you compare that with AEW or anywhere else.

You know, Bayley's a star.

Nia Jax, whatever you think of her, I think they successfully got her over as a star.

I mean, none of those fans are watching for her work rate.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, no.

So, yeah, it seemed like they had a hot finish.

Yeah, well, you know, the Macy's parade floats are over too every year.

So it can be done.

It's coming up.

Coming up.

So apparently, well, L.A.

Knight and Andre and Carmelo Hayes are still all kind of ticked off at each other.

And L.A.

and Andrade were talking when Hayes

runs in from off-camera and just body checks L.A.

Knight over an equipment case.

And when he fell on the other side, it's like he kept going into a hole.

He disappeared.

And you never heard a word.

You never saw a movement.

And the camera lingered as Hayes and Andrade

looked at each other and had their interaction.

and then the camera lingers on Andre, and there's no,

not even like from behind the case, help me, hook me, unhurt, help me, nothing.

Just fuck it.

He just, he fell over the case and he was gone.

It wouldn't sound like that, right?

Help me, unhurt.

I could, oh my God, good lord, I could get out.

At least Andrade's hanging out in the back and he's not involved in punching out one of the other wrestlers.

So then

they had the match between Carmelo Hayes and Andre that was, they're having a best of five series, and this was match number six.

Best of seven.

What it started.

No, the graphics said best of five.

They had a best of five series that is now is going, now is going to go to four out of seven, apparently.

But

match six.

This was good.

Well, sure.

If you were these people's immediate family, you loved it.

The fans there got into it.

It was a fun match.

Yeah, well, the fans there like fucking wearing other people's underwear.

How's that?

I don't know what that means.

Well,

they're stealing it or they just have it.

They steal it or they have it.

Well, there's a...

There's an entire exchange marketplace where I can give you the website.

I guess it's an insult depending on how you obtain the underwear, but nevertheless.

the less

that's gonna be my masked wrestler gimmick nether the less

but uh nevertheless back to uh smack good match is what they had it was a good match and the fans got into it and la night of course got involved did you see the finish at least yes yes i did la night came out and he went for Hayes, but Andre stopped him and Hayes knocked Andre into LA Knight and then rolled Andre up one, two, three.

And then LA Knight and Andre argued with each other.

And my takeaway was dealing with these two fucking schlubs does nothing for L.A.

Knight when he got so over and everybody else that was so over is interacting with other people that are so over.

And he's stuck over here with these fucking Cretans.

There's something about Andre, Andre, Andre, I can't fucking do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have nothing today.

There's something about Andrade

that I get a kick out of.

From the promos to

whatever his gimmick or personality, there's something about him.

I almost wanted to see him in LA Knight in like a buddy kind of situation.

He could be L.A.

Knight's buddy.

And LA Knight's only one understands him.

You have just said that you like a guy.

You cannot enunciate or enumerate one single attribute of his that you like, but you know, I like that guy.

There's something about him.

Something about him.

It's like Naomi.

She comes out there.

She glows.

How do you know I like that?

She makes you want to get up and move.

Yes, away from the television.

But

that was a good match.

The point is, it was a good match, and they're trying.

You know what?

They're trying to get Carmillo over.

We'll see how it goes.

Yeah, yeah.

The best of seven.

They've been trying to cure cancer for 150 years.

And, um, well, I guess longer than that, maybe.

I mean, when did the effort start?

Who knows?

I don't think they knew what it was before fucking the Civil War, did they?

Oh, he's got the dry rot uh is the civil war 150 years ago well 100 and 160 now almost who's counting well i was counting that's why i corrected you but let's go back well back to smackdown well what does andre have to do with the civil war well nothing uh there was a mexican civil war wasn't there

well yes but there was a spanish-american war too so should we still be mad at him The point is that I don't think that L.A.

Knight is getting anything done for him here.

But you're talking about people marching to the beat of their own drummers.

Well, I think that

what?

What did you say?

I asked you this a couple of weeks ago, I think.

Who would you have L.A.

Knight work with right now?

Anybody else, but these people.

Chad Gable would be entertaining with L.A.

Knight because he could be a little weasel and talk if they get rid of his crew and get him away from the Wyatts.

He's got some heat.

L.A.

Knight could tell him off.

I don't know.

Where was I going with that?

LA Knight's one of the only guys not in the faction.

It's becoming like AEW a few years ago.

Everyone has a group.

Well, LA doesn't, he's not outgoing and makes friends easily.

That's the problem.

He's stuck in his shell.

He's an introvert.

Where were you going?

I don't know.

But have I mentioned that our friends over at Raycon sell everyday wireless earbuds that you just got to have.

Every day?

Every day they're selling another pair.

I think yesterday they sold two pair.

Wow.

And they are made to make your everyday just a little bit easier.

They've added new features to make them even more easy to use.

That's the way it's written.

Even more easy to use.

That should be just even easier to use, right?

But nevertheless, it's easy for you to say the everyday earbuds feature a 32-hour battery life, multi-point connectivity that lets you pair two devices together it sounds perverted to me but if you want to do it as long as they're of consenting age and there's active noise cancellation which

you just stick them in there you can't hear it thunder you could be run over by a train coming at you from behind you'd never know it and actually That makes it easier because if you know that train is coming, boy, the last 10 seconds of your life is going to be fucking miserable where is this happening you're running away you're running on the train tracks away from the direction of the train well would you would you be running toward it why are you running on the train tracks

why are you running on the train tracks get away from the train what are you an imbecile what but what there's nowhere else to go

Well,

if there was, you wouldn't be on the tracks, would you?

What are you, on a bridge?

Is it a long bridge?

It could be.

It could be the longest bridge you ever see in your life if you don't get away from that train.

That's why you need Raycons.

Now, the longest bridge I think was seed earlier this show.

Well, there's the...

Did I mention the quick charge function where you can plug these things in for 10 minutes and you'll get 90 minutes of battery just boom if you just like that?

That's tremendous.

You did not mention it already today.

Well, the ergonomic design to fit comfortably in the widest range of ears, whether they be giant elephant ears or small little shell-like ears, you can shove these things in and they just they actually expand somewhat to

meld with your skin.

No, there's no melding with your skin.

No.

Well, because that way if they grow in slightly, then that sound baffles even better.

When the skin grows to the optimal gel tips, then it causes it to be like a spray foam insulation.

And that way you don't get extra outside noise involved.

You don't get any of this noise because none of this noise is true.

Every spot spot starts out innocent enough and then it turns into ec comics all of a sudden i'm not i don't know what's the matter why wouldn't you want these things growing on in your head because with the

with the battery life they've got 32 hours and the earbud tap functions reduce discomfort it says right here the earbud tap functions red to reduce discomfort When using the earbuds, so let's say your hemorrhoids are acting up.

You got these earbuds in your ear, boom, you use the tap functions.

And boy,

a lot less throbbing and burning.

It reduces discomfort, folks.

And comes out of your ear.

Let's just make sure it doesn't meld to your skin.

We want to make sure we clarify that.

Well, and also, they offer a 30-day happiness guarantee.

So right there, you're going to be happy for a month at least.

And then it'll wear off and then you'll be sorry you were ever born.

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If you don't use the code, they won't take your money.

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Use the code, enjoy the earbuds, whether you are someone who wants to enjoy the day or if you are depressed and want to hear sad songs.

I don't know why you would want to hear sad songs if you were down, but hear whatever you want.

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Probo,

Jim.

JCE,

sad songs say so much.

And also, if you're going to plan on getting hit by a train in the next week or two,

don't plan on that.

Well, if it's going to, if it's going to come up in your schedule, you need a set of earbuds quick.

It won't be coming up in your schedule.

Stay off the tracks.

Avoid the third rail with Raycon.

Back to SmackDown, Jim.

Well, now that's not train tracks.

There's no third rail on a railroad track.

You're thinking of a subway track.

Now, who would be stupid enough to be running away from a subway train?

The Long Island Railroad has a third rail.

Well,

all the trains that I've seen in the wild, wild west, they just got

two rails, one on each side, and the guy throws the coal or the wood in and the woof woof.

No, and the Long Island Railroad third rail because every few years some kid electrocutes himself not realizing that when everyone says you're gonna electrocute yourself it really will happen when you touch it

well it seems like that would be a public health menace if they just had that do they have this walled off or fenced off or something where people can't just wander and and just walk across the railroad tracks like we do down here in the country No, it's kind of just right there.

But speaking of right there, right back to SmackDown.

Right back to SmackDown.

There's a place over here in Peewee valley where the the rail the railroad tracks goes down beside of the the road and when you turn left to go across the railroad tracks there's a hump and then you go down the other side and you turn to go out to crestwood

and son of a bitch there's a truck that's bottoming out and getting stuck there all the time one of these 18 wheelers tractor trailers tries to go across that

And it can't, and it gets stuck right on that hump in the middle.

And then they have to call a tow truck to come and lift it off the fucking thing.

You'd think they'd learn.

I understand that's where Tony Khan's opening their developmental territory, Pee-wee Valley Wrestling.

Pee-wee Valley, yeah, it's actually a hell of a market.

It's untapped.

So back to SmackDown.

Mia Yim wrestled Piper Niven.

Piper Niven, that name sounds like she should have been

a movie actress in the 50s.

Like Piper Laurie and David Niven.

Actually, David Niven looks nothing like Piper Laurie.

And Piper Niven doesn't look like anything like either one of them.

And this didn't look like a match I wanted to watch, so I didn't.

Did I miss anything?

I had limited time this week.

I did not

watch

the Meetshin match.

Yeah, so and then there was some more

fake, scripted, poorly acted interaction with girls in the back.

And then we came to our main event of the evening, Brian.

Kevin Owens and Randy Orton against Jacob Fatu and Solo.

And

I know wrestling sometimes has to stretch credibility for the entertainment value, but watching Owens' fat ass go toe-to-toe with two badass Samoans just fucking

stretches that credibility for me like a rubber band, but we will go with it.

Again, Orton

and Fatu working together, it gives Fatu credibility.

Orton did the deal where he picks him up and drops him on the announce desk like he does everybody, and Jacob pops up and is like, ah.

And if you did that with everybody, it would be bullshit like it is when they do it with everybody.

But when you do it with this one monster,

then it registers with people as, oh, shit, that didn't hurt him.

But then Orton grabs him and does three more in a row.

Boom, boom, boom.

And that he has to sell.

And then one on solo.

Boom.

And there's their break spot.

It got a huge pop from the people.

They were fucking screaming.

Nobody had to do a dive through the ropes.

But it's still,

they're.

Can you remember the last time that a guy came from

relatively nowhere in the wrestling landscape and got as strong of a push as

a monster as Jacob Fatu has.

Oh, geez.

Edgar Abou Thomas.

Oh, come on now.

I mean, it may go back to Yokozuna when Yoko wasn't really anybody on a national basis when he went to the WWF and he was smashed over.

But not the same way, because Yokozuna, he was just a guy winning matches until he won the Royal Rumble.

And then it was like, oh, wow, they're doing something with Yokozuna.

Because he had just come in.

Jacob fatu was immediately inserted into the main event program yeah

so

but anyway he's holding up to it and they came back from the break and they got heat on owens and the multiple asses to the face spot blah blah blah

i gotta

again

the The phony looking open-handed punches that all the Samoans are doing now are giving me gas bad

because it doesn't need to be that way.

And I think Solo's doing that thing now where he's obviously his hand is not even a fist.

It's open and he's

slap punching the guy and then making a fucking sudden motion over the guy's head like, wow, I'm following through.

Nobody can tell because I was David Copperfield, sleight of hand with this thing.

And it looks like he's having a spasm.

Did you notice that?

I didn't notice it like that.

No.

You've been mentioning David Copperfield a lot.

Well, you know, a magician that everybody could agree on, because Chris Angel, where the fuck has he gone?

He's disappeared off the face of the earth.

Copperfield's a pervert.

He's in lots of trouble.

Is he, really?

Yeah, I believe so.

Well, fuck when I saw him.

He was just making...

Oh, he was just in the newspaper actually a couple of weeks ago.

He had this amazing apartment, a penthouse at the top of a building in Manhattan.

I used to be able to see it from my office at Sony.

And someone said, that's David Copperfield's place.

Beautiful place.

He abandoned it, flooded it.

Flooded it?

Why, the pictures I saw in the New York Post, it was just destroyed.

Like he left it in ruins.

Your buddy David Copperfield.

For what reason?

I don't know.

An illusion gone wrong.

What's the illusion gone wrong?

What's he in trouble for?

Has he lost his money or has he assaulted someone in an impure way?

Or what is his deal?

Hold on.

Now you're going to make me look.

This is the main event of SmackDown, ladies and gentlemen.

I saw David Copperfield back in the 80s.

Wonderful performer.

Well, a month ago in the New York Times, the headline, David Copperfield vanished.

The problem of his penthouse remains.

Another month ago, the magic of David Copperfield couldn't make this lawsuit disappear.

What's the lawsuit for?

David Copperfield sued over trashed $7 million Manhattan penthouse.

Yeah, he got sued.

Well, there's got to be some reason why that a person trembles a $7 million penthouse and then disappears.

Besides, there's got to be an underlying cause of this thing, doesn't there?

Well, in May, Rolling Stone, the headline, magician David Copperfield, accused of grooming, groping, and drugging women.

Okay, all right.

So when I saw him back in the 80s and he went out in the crowd and did that close-up magic where he made a Kleenex in his hand dance in front of your eyes, I didn't know what was on the Kleenex.

Son of a bitch.

Okay, that's where you decided to go with it.

You really saw him live?

Yes.

With a dance at Kleenex?

I've got, yes, I've got the event program.

Where was this?

It might have been in Las Vegas.

I'd have to, it's been 40 years now.

I'd have to fucking go downstairs and look.

All right.

Well, from the penthouse to the outhouse or back to this match.

So they got heat on Owens.

And I don't like the open-handed punches from the Samoans, for fuck's sake.

And did you see the camera work?

I'm loving

the new camera crew, the new production team.

Owens milked fighting for the straining for the tag big time.

And they had a camera shot.

Over Orton's shoulder of him reaching and Owens reaching and finally broke loose and made the tag and got a big pop.

Imagine that when you actually milk something.

But anyway, Randy makes comeback.

Jacob comes in, takes one power slam, and disappears.

Both heels never feed for the comeback in the WWE, and I think that was events also.

And then they go back and forth, boom, boom, boom.

Finally, Owens makes another comeback, and Swanton's solo and gets a two-count.

And here come the Tongas to the ring,

and they distract for Solo to rock bottom him and get the two count.

And then

they both played Cody's music for three seconds, and Cody just ran out there and tackled the Tongas.

Did you?

Why did they need the three seconds of music?

Just to get everybody's attention, yeah, for the pop.

But if they could see him doing it by the time the music registered,

So what it's like the music opens the invisible door where the guy can, all right.

But anyway, Cody tackles the tongas and Orton gives Tama an RKO, even though he's not in the match.

And Jacob dives on Cody, and Owens stunners solo.

And when Owens covers solo after the stunner, Cody got rolled into the ring and clipped the referee's leg.

That was done pretty good.

It was, it was perfect.

This is some old Eddie Graham shit.

I'm just, I'm telling you, if it filtered through Watts and through Dusty or whatever, but it is.

And the referee goes down, so Owens gets up pissed that he can't count the cover.

And he's yelling at Cody, like, what the fuck are you doing?

And turns around, and Jacob super kicks Owens twice in the mush, and Solo covers him,

and Jacob cuts off Cody one, two, three.

And then Owens is pissed at Cody when the heels roll out, and he's yelling at him, and Cody's trying to explain it wasn't my fault.

He threw me there.

And Orton becomes the guy getting in the middle to be the peacemaker.

Now, come on, guys.

We calm down.

We can talk this over.

Between that hot-headed Owens and the innocent victim of soycumstance, Cody Rhodes.

And you understand everything.

It's very easily digestible.

You've talked about what happens if Orton turns on Cody and if Owens turns on Cody

and what they could be teasing.

What if Roman turns on Cody, considering the way they're setting these guys up as having issues about him teaming with Roman?

If right now somebody suggested to Triple H that they should swerve everybody because they'll never see it coming and turn Roman Reigns back heel.

I have a feeling that Triple H would take the sledgehammer and cave their fucking skulls in.

I don't know if he could still swing that around.

It's pretty heavy and I haven't seen him

wield the hammer in quite a while.

For that suggestion, he'd find the strength.

No, but no, no, no, because not only then would you

ruin a lot of Roman Reigns' credibility with people, whether he's heel or babyface, what he says, but also you would be throwing merchandise money into the Red Sea.

No, no, that's not going to be a thing that happens.

Is it wrong that I think all three of those guys at some point in the next couple of years will turn on Cody?

Yes, because I don't think Steen's going to be around to do it.

And I don't think they're going to waste a turn on Cody on Steen when they've got one on Orton.

Or when they've got one with Orton, I should say.

If Steam leaves, do they finish him up with Orton?

Well, I don't know where this is going.

Intentionally, they may already be looking in that direction, or they may

just be,

well, here we're putting Owens in something that will kind of help us later on, but we don't have to feature

him, you know, winning any big matches or whatever.

So I don't think Steam's going to be around for the long term.

Orton's going to be one to turn on Cody.

I don't know that Roman Reigns is going to

be wrestling at any schedule long enough to turn back heel again

because

he's going to be a baby face for the next one to two years.

And

after that, why would you turn a guy that's only going to be wrestling a handful of times a year, maybe?

That's just my opinion.

Well, that was your SmackDown.

and if they have a match with roman and rock

the rock is still the heel remember

oh certainly yeah so

what the fuck they have a few matches set up already for the rock without any effort which is cody and roman two separate matches set up what the rock has time to do and does with other top guys

There are things there you can create a program, but those two are already set up for whenever they want to drop it.

Yeah, and

they're not going to turn Roman before they do

a number of things, including, as I said, make $25 billion on merchandise.

All right.

Well, that was your show.

Well, it certainly is, but it's over now, isn't it?

Yes.

And so you promised the people.

Your audio.

Ooh, that's over, too.

I'll unplug this fucking thing again, and we'll see what happens.

It didn't work out well last time,

but you promised the people that we're going to have an organized broadcast on your program in a few days, right?

We'll see.

I mean, there's a lot going on.

We got to talk about dynamite.

Well, we just talked about dynamite.

Well, we got to talk about another dynamite and NXT will be on.

I got to set my DBR on the UPN-ish channel.

It's WB.

No.

CW.

CW.

CW.

A country and western channel

CW McCall had a big hit with Convoy, but

come on Robert Duck, let's close this thing that should be the country and western channel.

And

apparently it might do them good because from what I've seen from statistics on their network, we'll talk about that when we talk about NXT on CW.

They've gone from like 1.7 million viewers in prime time to like 300,000 in in the last 10 years or less.

So if you're going to watch one name I mentioned to you, check out Oba Femi.

I want to see what you think of him.

Oba Femi.

Oba Femi.

Alrighty then.

At least I have no preconceived notion of what he might look like because I've never seen an Oba or a Femi.

Is he related to Christy Hemi?

We will talk about all of that minus the Hemi on the drive-thru unless she does something that puts her in the news.

Well, and then I think we're safe.

And in parting, folks, we'd like to

just leave now.

Thank you.

Fuck you.

Bye-bye, everybody.