Episode 551: Another Exciting Episode

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Like the midnight and the rock and roll.

Using a racket and some mind control.

He's Jim Cornish.

The keys to the future, held by the past.

And with Tag T partner Barion Last, he sends this message out by podcast.

Jim Cornish.

Well, he's never afraid of phony.

He never backs down from a fight.

He never wins the pony because his mama raised him right.

It's time

to prepare

your mind

the experience.

Get the experience.

Get the experience of Jim Cornette.

Hello again, everybody, and welcome to another exciting episode of the Jim Cornette Experience, where today we're going to talk about hookers and horror comics and Vince Russo's tombstone.

And we might get to some wrestling before it's over with as well.

And joining me to do all this and more.

Hawaii and Brian, the podcasting line, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network, Mr.

Co-host to you.

He's the William Gaines of Podcasting, the great Brian Last, everybody.

Hello, hot, Jim.

A pleasure to be here once again.

And what a high compliment that was.

Thank you very much.

I do appreciate that.

One of the books I always have in my office is the William Gaines biography.

Scott Cornish lent it to me years ago, and then I purchased my own copy.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Scott Cornish lent it to you.

You never gave it to me.

No, no, no.

I gave it back to him, and I liked it so much I bought a copy so that I always have one on hand and I can go back to it and check it out.

Oh, why didn't you buy Scott's?

You just read his for free and then you gave somebody else some money.

He did not want to lose it because he loved it too.

Well, then he shouldn't have given it to a fucking guy like you.

I gave it back to him.

What is your problem?

I gave it back.

After he kept calling.

What?

I gave it back to him when the time was right.

This has been a great show.

And by the way, I'm under the weather and he's hiccing on me and starting crap.

And by the way, that's an old Abdullah the Butcher quote.

They'd say something to him about the finish or whatever.

He'd say, when the time is right.

But no, you have, I could have said you're the crypt keeper today because you informed me right before we go on the air that once again, the burden of entertainment may fall on my broad but beleaguered shoulders as you are indeed feeling puny.

I would just, I just poisoned myself last week.

I was at death's doornail.

And

I nipped up and did the show and it was, it was as only I could do a show.

And you're, you got some,

what is the problem with you?

What is your genre of illness here?

And first of all, I woke up feeling crummy and I'm recording because that was a good idea.

Can you imagine how everybody else felt when you woke up?

They weren't feeling too fucking great.

That's not nice.

The point is, I woke up and I came here and I'm doing what I got to do.

You woke up and you said, oh, I need a few days.

Oh,

I need a new pillow.

Wait a minute.

You woke up and you came here.

You walked from one part of the house to another another part of the house it's not like you had to take a travel day don't diminish my commute there's all sorts of things in the way the point is i walk you have the most mute commute i've ever seen so so far you woke up and you were you were feeling crummy you were feeling down in the mouth you were feeling just kind of out of sorts had to sour belches Well, not really that.

I have kind of a sore throat and my nose is stuffed up and we put the heat on because it got cold and that did not help.

It dried you out, didn't it?

You breathing all that hot, dry air.

It's really bad.

So that's why on your show, I'm asking you to carry the ball and carry the water, bring it home, bring it on home, Jim.

Just give me a jug of piss while you're at it.

I'll

carry that on.

Jake Roberts may have one of those.

Or the rock, actually the rock man.

Well, no,

he prefers bottles more, doesn't he?

Yeah, that's true.

Not a jug.

All right.

Anyway, we're going to have a

rollicking show today, amongst many things.

And also, I got Hotchkiss Featherbottom

came to the rescue again.

My printer, which I believe I reported to people a week or so ago, was down because of

the sudden power outage we had here.

The still is inexplicable.

It just, bam, it just went back on and off and back on.

And everything was fine, except the printer went into some type of somnambulistic coma.

And Hotchkiss Featherbottom came over here, and the

technical genius that he is, he was able to figure out exactly what happened and put that back online.

So we have viewer mail again today.

And we're going to hear from some of the cult of corners.

What did Hotchkiss do exactly?

Explain the intricate technique that he applied to fix this problem.

Well, he went through a variety of screens and clicking

upon things that caused more boxes to come up upon

the screen of the thing.

And then he reached down and he pulled his white cable out and stuck it back in again.

And

he said, there it's loading.

So he's a genius.

He can evaluate these things and he just like wave his hand.

I hope you don't lose this guy to the geek squad or something.

No, no, no.

They have certain standards or guidelines with their hiring that

the background check.

Well, nevertheless,

he tried and he gave it a good old.

And he looked like a completely different person when he walked in there with that fake mustache.

I can't believe they put these pictures up over the door.

If Freddie Blassey was still alive, do you think it's a natural right there for a geek squad to use him to advertise the brand?

Oh, God, he could be chewing through the cords to malfunction the

equipment.

And then they come in and figure, you pants all that geeks.

Bundy.

Bundy.

You big fat piece of shit.

Bundy did a commercial for what kind of early computer thing that was happening back then.

You know more about these things than I do.

I forget the name of the computer because it's not one that anyone talks about today, but that was the thing he left for in what, 87, 88, 88.

Yes, it was a big national advertising campaign.

And apparently it didn't do very well for the computer people if you can't even remember what the brand was.

You can't remember either for the record.

You were much older than I was at the time.

You were

contemporaries.

That's why I didn't fucking pay any attention to that goddamn flash to pan fucking computer shit.

I knew it wouldn't last.

And see, here we don't even remember who it was.

We remember Bundy.

Ah, Head Start.

Head Start Computer.

God, that's it sounds like the slow lane of computers, doesn't it?

If you're

you're really just unable to figure anything else out here, try ours.

You know, hold on, there are commercials.

I've never actually seen or heard any of the commercials.

I've seen the printed.

Curious what this is.

Do these things still exist?

On YouTube, apparently, yeah.

Well, no, I'm not saying I'm saying.

I'm not saying to the spot still, I'm saying does this computer company or this brand or this line of who shot John that they were producing, does it still exist?

Is it still marketed?

Missing me.

Did the Head Start's conspicuous monopoly of programs really bring about a qualitative transmutation of my intellectual faculties?

Or was the amplification only a matter of degree?

Jeuna c'est pas.

One thing is certain, however, the power, performance, and sophistication of the Head Start computer can make a genius out of you too.

Headstart by Bendex, built to be compatible with you.

And that was Bundy.

That was Bundy.

And that's, and can you hear, because of the New Jersey accent,

can you hear a little bit of Dennis Coraluzzo maybe reading the same thing the same kind of way in his younger days?

You know, I can.

Hold on, here's another one.

This one's from 1989.

Not bad, Bundy.

You really made that Head Start computer look easy to handle.

It looked easy.

It was easy, Dick.

You know, the fully IBM compatible Head Start computer made a genius out of me in only 23 minutes.

Well, now Headstock computers can make a genius out of every new Mark and Lewis customer.

Hey, Bundy, did you get one?

As a matter of fact, Dick, they're all mine.

What do you got to say now?

Just one thing.

So again, in terms of the usage of King Kong Bundy in the video ads, that is, you know, separated from the print ads, is this the best way to utilize King Kong Bundy?

Probably not, but it's amazing that because Bundy was very underrated verbally, and he did a tremendous job better than some local television personalities I've seen doing commercials of delivering the fucking lines and saying all those words, and especially the one where they had him be the,

you know, it was the dichotomy of look at this giant, massive kingpin of a man

while at the same time he's spouting off all them $14 words, as Sputnik Monroe might say.

So he did a very good job verbally.

Harley is over here behind my chair applauding him, as Marfa, if you hear that.

Actually, she's scratching a place for her to lay down in the carpet.

He's doing a better job verbally than we are.

All right.

Well, anyway, you're the one playing these old advertisements.

You still haven't answered my question.

Do these things, does this company, what happened to these people?

Could you turn on one of their computers right now and would it work?

You have no answer.

I am looking up Head Start Computer.

Head Start Computer.

That's what we want to know.

We're not shamelessly promoting these products of 40 years ago.

We're trying to find out what happened to a once thriving organization here.

What happened to their employees?

Did they all just kick them out in the street?

Mom and dad just suddenly without a breadwinner in the family?

And they're going penniless.

The kids are not eating.

There's probably some domestic abuse going on in the household because of the stress.

I don't know what is this what Bundy wrought with his commercials?

The Headstart Headstart.

The Head Start.

That's Kevin Sullivan's read.

The Head Start Explorer was an inexpensive, all-in-one home computer that came with a built-in graphical user interface.

Graphical?

Graphical.

That's what it says here.

GUI.

The GUI was built directly into the machine's ROM.

Some things to know.

The GUI was not based on any existing.

I bet that ROM got sore in cold weather.

The GUI was not based on any existing windowing system.

The desktop was static.

The icons were hard-coded.

The icons could not be moved, altered, or removed.

Shortcuts to software could not be added.

Sounds awful.

The only writable onboard storage was the clock and the control panel.

I don't even know what this sounds like Abbott and Costello to me to begin with.

I don't know what the fuck that meant.

It doesn't sound like it's still in business, and you can certainly see why.

Although it made a genius out of King Kong Bundy in 23 minutes, I'd love to see the false advertising lawsuit over that.

Well, shit, I'll tell you, I was going to have Hotchkiss invest in these people.

If they were wrestling friendly, perhaps we could have worked some kind of a deal.

I could have been the new Bundy.

All right, nevertheless, let's get in line here.

Snap, snap here.

Attention, because this is my program.

I'm the captain of this ship.

I'm steering this vessel.

No more of these side tangents out into.

Why do you always want to know these things about these various obscure things that then you force us to sit around while you're looking up?

I want him here to talk about the vessel.

Let's talk about it.

Asked you.

I'm here to talk about vessel mania.

I've got breaking news here.

As a matter of fact, it's just come up across the breaking news desk.

Did you hear about the

female photographer escorted out of the Virginia Elementary School in Chesapeake, Virginia?

Did you hear about this?

This just recently happened.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

No.

Apparently,

this woman told television outlet WTKR that her son was sitting to have his school picture taken when the photographer, and there's a picture of this woman, and she

looks fairly young and somewhat average,

said to him, can I steal your identity and can I eat your soul?

Oh.

What did he reply?

Well, she asked him, can I steal your identity?

His response was just no.

Her next question was, can I eat your soul?

Oh my God, how old was this kid?

It's elementary school.

I'm trying to, I don't think they can list the age of this

child, but he was crying when he was telling mommy of this, right?

And then her next question was, well, then what can I eat?

And he told me, mommy, I didn't know what to say.

So I said the first thing was, you can have noodles.

You can eat noodles.

And guess what the photographer said?

What?

Demons don't eat noodles.

Oh, I didn't know that.

There's some some news.

So apparently they let some demon, self-sessed

demon.

Hold on there.

She was actually involved or involved, employed

by Shutterfly.

That's a company, I guess, that potentially sends people out to do these things.

They're a pretty big company.

Well,

yeah, she ain't got that job anymore.

But

an an internal investigation is underway.

They're sending demons to take photos of your children.

See, I told you, Brian, you got to be careful who you associate with these days.

Was that the only kid that she did this to?

Did she single out just this one kid, or did she go after other children?

I did.

Well, there was nobody else who was quoted or commented upon.

Demons don't eat noodles.

Demons don't.

Well, then, that is kind of fairly sensible.

I mean,

what have you ever seen a demon said?

Can I have some ramen?

How do you think she would react if all of a sudden people start sending her lots of noodles?

I think she's been off her noodle for quite some time.

All right, anyway.

Is her name Raka Khan?

Let me love you, Raka Khan.

Let me sue you, Raka Khan.

Raqqa Khan.

Anyway, let's get to the listenership here.

And at first,

I wanted to send a special

message.

I can't say shout out.

I'm an adult goddamn man.

I can't say.

I want to send a shout out, but I want to send a special message to one of my oldest friends.

And

even that was unwieldily worded because it's not like she's 94 years old.

It's the kind of person where I've known this person longer than I've known most people in my life type of oldest friend.

You see what I'm saying there?

Yeah.

Are you, did I express that adequately now?

Explain to Fine, yeah.

All right.

Well, anyway,

Melody Oglesby from White Plains, Kentucky,

who not only I have known since I was a teenager, but was

a great friend of my mom's.

And I won't tell a lady's age, but she's in my age bracket.

But she used to come to the matches when I was a photographer and my mom was at the

souvenir stand and

in Evansville or Madisonville, Kentucky when we run out there.

And my mom just thought the world of her and they were friends.

But when I was on the road, Melody oftentimes might come up and spend a Saturday just visiting with my mom.

And we have stayed in touch.

you know, on occasions or holidays or whatever.

And I just wanted to say hello to Melody because she sent me a card for my birthday and said that the doctor had given her some disheartening news here over the past couple months.

So we just wanted to tell her that we're thinking about her.

And the cult of Cornette has pretty much healed every major illness, haven't they, known to man over the last few years with all of their generosity.

So, and also

the power of positive thinking.

So, anyway, Melody, Melody, we love you.

And we've got another couple of emails.

See, and she doesn't send me emails.

It's written down on paper with a stamp on it, the way things are supposed to be.

Anyway, and also a few listeners that we have heard from, though, as I said by email, James from

How do you say it now?

God damn it, now they're going to cross me up.

Edinburgh, Scotland, is it Edinburgh, Edinburgh?

It's B-U-R-G-H, but

how is this pronounced?

If you pronounce it fast enough, no one will be able to tell which version you said.

Well, James from Edinburgh, Scotland,

wrote us a nice email.

He's had some hard times going on, but our show...

It serves as a comfort to him.

They're so polite over there.

Well, some of them are, in the way that they phrase it it deserves a comfort to me

uh but he claims brian and uh we make him laugh that's one thing but he claims that you deserve more recognition

and what how much more can you be recognized do we have to do the thing where

whenever i interest it into interest you when will that start whenever i introduce you

whenever i introduce you,

then

you've got to stand up and say, acknowledge me now?

I think I'm acknowledged enough.

I think I get enough attention.

I'm just fine with the attention I get.

Well, he didn't say attention.

He says recognition.

Now, is that the same thing?

Well, that's different than just recognize.

That's recognition.

You look at that person and you say, they are.

the best at what they do.

They are great at what they do.

A sexy, sexy man, a good, good at everything he touches, just filled with great ideas and wonderful execution.

Women love him.

Men want to be his friend and hang out with him.

He has to kick people out of his house because no one wants to leave.

These kind of things.

But he's talking about you, not me.

No.

Thank you for humbly mentioning that you'd feel that you're happy with the attention you get and you don't need any more recognition.

You better recognize.

I recognize James.

James says I'd I'd love to meet you both, but

that's not happening.

Yeah, that

but I wish you the best.

Yes and love.

Anyway, I got another email here from Alex

from

he's Alex from Minnesota.

Took me a second to find that.

And he's emailed us before, and we have

We've read it and talked about him, but his grandmother, Linda, passed away in May, and

he had a nice quote.

I thought we'd read this.

She was not just a grandparent, but a best friend who looked out for me, always knew how to put a smile on my face and make me laugh, all while keeping a smile on her face while on chemo treatments and parenting two special needs children.

She was and always will be a strong woman who persevered through challenges in life, and I love her and miss her greatly.

But then that goes for Alex's parents, Paul and Randy, too, and his friend Andrew from England.

Do we know Andrew from England?

Did Andrew die too?

Is this just I lost track of what he was doing?

No, no, no.

It was his grandmother, and then all of a sudden it was a bunch of other people.

Was there an accident?

No, there is.

Was it a boat?

It was a bus.

That fucking guardrail hadn't been inspected by the state.

I don't know how long.

No,

Alex's parents, Paul and Randy, and friend Andrew from England, have been getting him

through the tough times lately, along with us and our programming.

Apparently, now that may have come to an end.

I'm glad they're still here.

Otherwise, the times would really be tough.

But sounds like you have a good support system and an awful podcast to listen to.

Well,

Alex, we're sorry for a number of things.

And Dan

from Alberta, Canada,

Unfortunately, his mother passed away a couple weeks ago, and he said,

you know, obviously it had been a very tough week for me.

And thank you guys for the laughs and helping me keep somewhat of a routine while he's, you know, planning the funeral arrangements.

But he says, I thought you might be interested in hearing about this.

I don't know whether you deserve it or not now.

He says, when Brian announced the passing of his father, he mentioned the charity locks of love.

And I'm proud to say I'm about four inches away from being able to donate enough hair for locks of love to make a wig.

What do you think about that?

That's beautiful.

That's a wonderful thing.

That's a wonderful thing.

Four inches away.

I was once four inches away from getting to love Goldilocks.

Goldilocks.

That's a whole completely different.

Who's Goldilocks?

And

the three bears.

You've never heard of Goldilocks.

I thought you were talking about an actual person, not the actual story.

I thought you were talking about a person and you were making some kind of weird sexual innuendo that I should understand and get the reference.

Well, I was making a weird sexual innuendo that you should have understood, but I didn't know that there was any debate as to who Goldilocks was, the fucking bitch that was bothering the three bears, breaking in their homes, stealing their food, and doing who knows what in their bed.

I don't know.

You could have said.

Oh, she was an outlaw girl that worked for, you know, Wild West Wrestling.

Like, I don't know.

But, Dan, thank you, Dan.

Yeah.

And thank you, Alex.

And thank you, James.

And Melody.

Well, and also, and thank you for the melody.

John from Minnesota sends us an email.

Now, this is on something that we have talked about

here recently on the picking up

the early, not cell phone calls, but cordless home home phone calls on

the radio and et cetera, right?

You remember we had a discussion about that.

Yeah, and there's a couple of clips on YouTube about party lines, I think.

Jim Cornette on party, potty.

On party lines.

On potty?

No, we did.

That was Tessa Blanchard.

No, she's a fine young lady, and I understand that she has regular bowel movements.

She likes to potty all the time.

You know,

I used to sing that to Harley someday.

She likes to potty all the time.

She likes to potty all the time.

All right, John, though, John from up there in Minnesota.

Mr.

Cornette, I'd ask that you

I'd ask that you please withhold my name.

Should you read this on this?

Well, I'm not going to give your last name.

So how many fucking.

Please don't say where I am and who I am.

There's a lot of Johns in Minnesota.

A lot of Oli's, a lot of Larses, and a lot of Johns.

But anyway, I was listening to the experience today and heard you discussing cordless phones and the FM band.

You did find out that was possible, but there was some other fun that some frequency geeks, certainly not me,

would have as phones progressed.

You could buy police scanners back in the day.

I remember that,

you see, in the 80s TV shows, all the reporters had the police scanners

in their car and everything.

You could buy police scanners back in the day.

If the frequency went high enough, you could get on the cordless phone band and hear calls.

Cell phones up until the early 2000s were on the analog band.

Scanners blocked out the frequencies between

868,000 or 0.000 and 898.000

megahertz, MHZ,

because that was the cell band.

So scanners blocked those out.

You didn't get on those.

But

There was a national retailer that sold their own line of scanners.

There were also websites that were not based in the U.S., so the FCC could do nothing about it, that would tell you how to modify those scanners so you could restore the cell band.

Sometimes it was as easy as pushing buttons.

Other scanners required solder and pliers to modify the motherboards.

I certainly did not ever attempt anything like this.

You also had to have a scanner that was made before July of 1994,

and it had to scan up to 900

megahertz, I guess.

So he goes on to say, a guy who was certainly not me

could buy the scanners online, modify them, and resell them for four times what we paid.

Yes, you mostly heard go get bread and milk from the store when you listen, but maybe once a month you would hear something that would perk your ears up.

Nowadays, it's no fun, digital phones and no one has landlines anymore.

It was a great way for a poor college kid, certainly not me,

to make some money.

And now he goes on, I'll leave out the last line where he says now with the

very large holdings that he owns in a certain

genre of business, that he should probably not be spreading these things about someone, certainly not him,

breaking Federal Communications Commission regulations.

But that's John.

A lot of them out there.

There's one on every block from Minnesota.

It's a big state.

That certainly can't prove anything by anybody.

A lot of Johns out there.

And of course, there's going to be a lot more because now with Puff Daddy being arrested, a lot of these Johns aren't going to get work.

Thank you.

You did say you're feeling sick.

Thank you.

Are you possibly feverish or is that low blood pressure or caused you to come up with that one?

My bad joke is better than this Radio Shack segment.

What the hell is this?

Oh, no, like I'm online at Radio Shack.

That's very interesting

that you could do those things back.

And that's why

Mama Cornette would not have trusted a lot of this modern communication.

She said, well, this doesn't seem to be private.

Who's the first person you knew that had a car?

Yeah, I guess that's what you say.

A car phone.

A phone in the car was back then.

Yes, hence car phones.

That's where you, but it was in your car.

The first one that I ever saw was somewhere when the Midnight Express and I rented a goddamn

car when we were on the road with Crockett and or TBS.

And

no, you know what?

I tell a lie.

Flair had one, I think,

in that,

I don't know.

It was close, but

who's going to have a phone in their fucking car in

fucking five that I'm going to be hanging out with?

Wrestling promoter.

Did Watts have one?

When you ran over the car, you ran over his car.

No, I didn't run over it.

I ran past his car.

I didn't get to look inside.

I was not of status where I could open a goddamn door on a fucking Rolls-Royce and just be sitting my sweaty ass down on the goddamn custom up a holstery.

Was Jim Ross really spread-eagled on top of the Rolls-Royce?

He was, he was, was, well, see, now the thing is, it depends on what you say and what side top is.

Because he was spread-eagled, because I remember his stance was, he had a wide stance with his feet apart, but he was waving his hands in the air in a manner of like he was trying to fucking stop an airplane on a fucking tarmac.

And he's like, get away from the car.

And he's standing in front of it, but he wasn't spread-eagled on top of it

because hence then he wouldn't have been able to get up on top of the thing.

So he was spread-eagled in front of it.

That was the part of the story I always found the funniest, the idea he was trying to save the car by being on top of it.

Well,

see, before I got there, he may have tried to climb it, but it was a pointed fucking kind of a pointy hood, as I recall, and had an ornament.

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Nevertheless, I got a couple of mentions also that my birthday was not too long ago.

Remember, see, I told you we're catching up with the viewers.

The cult of Cornet out there come first today.

This fucking wrestling.

We can do that later on.

I got a bunch of birthday cards from everybody, cards and letters, as they say.

And I wanted to recognize a few other people.

I mentioned a few things I got early a couple of weeks ago, but Boo from Altoona sent me a Wendy's gift card.

Sal, how many people you got sending you Wendy's gift cards from Altoona?

I've never gotten or received a Wendy's gift card.

Well,

if you'd modify your behavior, your chances would go up.

They got to bring back the grilled chicken sandwich.

That was the best thing on their menu, and they got rid of it.

Well, that's to make you want it when it comes back.

Remember the McRib?

See, it's all about the marketing.

Joni Aries, the queen of cakes,

as usual, but also sent me

another fine fine album from her father's collection, album in LP

album type for you kids out there.

Grandpa Jones's greatest hits, which contains not only Eight Miles from Louisville, but I'm Moan Grandpa.

Have you ever heard that song?

I don't think so.

You ought to look up the fucking I'm Moan Grandpa by Grandpa Jones while I finish these thank yous, and you'll just laugh hysterically.

Did Charlie Daniels mention him?

No, just Wet Willie, Elvin Bishop, ZZ Top, and

Dickie Betts.

Some idiots out there haven't even heard of Wet Willie.

That's right.

This episode may feel like a Wet Willie at this point.

Yes, Mark Cole sent me a copy of Bobby Sherman Comics No.

1.

Bobby Sherman.

The Charlton publication.

Will we talk about the teen teen idols?

Yeah.

Well, he sent me a copy of Bobby Sherman Comics number one.

How many issues did they do?

Bobby Sherman had like a little bit of a run, what, from like late 60s into the early 70s, and he gave up his career?

Well, I don't know.

It's not my week to watch him, but

I don't know what happened to his career, but I know that I've got his comic book number one.

I don't know if there was even number two, but it was just a curiosity he thought he would send along.

He was like a teen idol.

Did he fight crime?

What's going on in the comic book?

No, it's him on the cover with his blue jeans on and his shirt and his hands in his pockets and his hair is tussled.

And you know, actually,

we accused Eric Bischoff of looking like John Davidson all those years, but he looked like John Davidson with a hint of Bobby Sherman.

That was the thing that always got me.

For years, people would say, Eric Bischoff looks like a game show host.

No, he looked like one specific game show host, John Davidson.

That's it.

That was the only game show host who ever looked like that.

But think about it.

If you went to central casting, as they say in the film industry, and you said, give me a game show host, who would come out?

Would it be a 75-year-old man like Bob fucking Barker?

Would it be a guy that looked like fucking John Davidson, a.k.a.

Eric Bischoff with dark hair in his prime?

That's the classic.

That's the stereotype.

See, no wonder Bischoff is disgruntled.

He was stereotyped all those years.

What do you think of Gene Rayburn?

Actually, I used to, when I was a kid, I thought his name was Gene Rugburn.

But I always wondered why he had that, the fucking, the long thing with the

long mic with the little dot on top of it.

It looked like some type of doctor's probing apparatus that.

Yes, certain guys had their mic style, the microphone they like.

Gene Rayburn had that.

Bob Barker had a very unique microphone that no one else uses.

See, if Saturday Night Live had been around like five years earlier, they would have had a regular segment with Dan Aykroyd being Gene Rayburn turning around with a three-foot-long fucking razor-sharp rapier microphone that was stabbing people and putting their eyes out.

Anyway, you're elongating my thank yous.

This was just going to be brief until you got involved.

Because the next thing

I'm very proud of, and I'm going to put on my desk, Brian from Reno, Nevada

has access to a 3D printer.

Have you seen now that I never even knew what a fucking

3D printer?

How the fuck does that work?

They're making a goddamn

3D Xerox copy like the old 3D comics.

I got to put the glasses on.

I didn't know what the fuck it was.

The kids, folks.

The kids out there are making things out of plastic.

I guess it's plastic, Brian, right?

It's a lightweight material.

You know, I'm not exactly sure.

I would think it is.

I have some stuff that's been 3D printed here.

It's plastic-ish.

But yet you can make any shape or any design or, you know,

any little thing that your heart desires, I guess, somehow.

And then you can paint it different color.

It's like making your own model kit.

Instead of putting it together for people who are of adult age and who, like me, had no idea what the fuck this was.

Anyway, guess what he sent me?

This is a white

plastic urinal,

just like you'd see on the wall in the bathroom and in the men's room, a urinal with a plumbing connection on top and the flusher thing and everything that he's painted silver and it's very wonderful detailed work.

It looks just like a flusher.

And on the back of the inside of the urinal,

in raised lettering, painted in a bold

black lettering,

here lies,

lies in italics, Vince Schittstein Russo.

Rot in pieces, bro.

It is Vince Russo's tombstone.

As a, and it even has,

hear that, that's, that's the hanger apparatus where I can hang it right here above my desk on the wall.

And it's even got a little place where a little bitty person could piss right into the urinal in the bottom, and it would

fill up.

It's amazing.

It's a wonderful tribute to a toileting grate.

So I'm trying to.

A toileting grate.

A toileting grate.

Anyway,

and also, hold on, I got to reach this.

Oh, goddammit.

My arms aren't long enough.

You're going to love this, Brian.

The book from Dan Rhino in St.

Louis.

I've mentioned him before.

He of the emos pizza sauce and etc.

He sent me in the past.

Guess what the title of this book that he sent me by Ken Zimmerman Jr.

is?

I know that name.

I should know what the book is.

Tell me what the book is.

Gotch versus Hackenschmidt.

That's right.

Yeah, I do have that book.

You have this book?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what?

With all due respect, and I have not even had time to begin reading it yet.

With the worst type?

Well, I was about to say, I just went to the post.

I've picked it up, and I want to thank Dan.

And I'm not disparaging the book in any way.

I know that probably Doubleday or

Simon and Schuster is probably already filled up with books on Gotch versus Hackenschmidt, but this is a self-published book in the most apparent of ways.

But I'm sure it's a very informative book that I thought I was going to surprise you on.

You already got it.

Yeah, disappointed.

It's hard to read a book when it looks like shit.

I mean, I don't even know if the guy did read it.

See, that reflects on Dan now.

It doesn't reflect on Dan at all.

He did a nice thing.

Now, Ken Zimmerman, he's got something to answer to.

Well, I think what he's done is he's basically typed up a book report on

what they had in the newspapers at the time on this situation, which I think is a nice, handy little

tome here to have all of that stuff

in one little manuscript here.

But it's hardcover.

Did you get a hardcover?

No, I got a softcover, I think.

See, I got a hardcover.

That makes it worse.

worse.

I've never seen a hardcover where, and one of the

people, it's I've never seen a hardcover self-published book like this.

And one of the two people that it's about, his name is misspelled on the back cover of the book.

George has no E.

But otherwise, but thank you, Dan.

And

here's where I was going with this.

John from Rhode Island sent me an entire box, a stack

of horror comic reprints.

Hold on here one second.

I'm trying to reach over and get this stuff.

It's a listen to this.

Boom.

And here's another.

And here's a stack of it.

Boom.

Vault of horror number one.

Shock suspense stories, number one magazine-sized reprint books.

Obviously, they're not, he didn't send me,

you know, original EC Comics

rarities in the mail, but like a haunt of fear reprint, and then several other comic-sized reprints: Tales from the Crypt, the same title, a

also a hold on here, where am I looking at it?

Where is I going to find it here?

The goddamn it, the Night of the Living Dead, 25th anniversary tribute of

magazine.

So that would be 1993 and

a cool

oversized magazine size, Stephen King's Creep Show,

Illustrated Magazine, etc.

Several monsters attack

titles

and a nightmare on Elm Street.

So anyway, can you imagine the generosity and the fact that now that he is sucked up to that extent, he's got a package coming from me.

Because even I couldn't,

I'm out of breath trying to lift those things.

Even I couldn't take all that and not send something back.

So he's getting

two-for-one coupon at the local PT strip club.

Hey, you know what?

I just got Fantagraphics just put out a collection of Jack Davis stories from EC Comics called Foul Play, which has that famous story where they use a man's head as a baseball

in the game, but some fine, fine artwork here for some really grotesque things.

Foul play from Fanta.

Well, there you go.

And speaking of fine artwork and some really grotesque things, that leads me right into talking about Cornett's Collectibles at jimcornet.com

and the incredible holiday sale that is fast approaching us that begins Saturday, October 5th at noon Eastern at jimcornet.com with the final Jim Cornette action figure variant, the man in white.

We've been talking about it.

My favorite suit for when I would lose weight, but also it matches all the tag team sets.

It matches any of the other figures that you would like to have me manage and impart my wisdom to.

You can customize it to any...

Because we couldn't keep Megan East forever, so now it's yours.

Paint it at whatever color you want me to be.

And

as a thank you for supporting all the different variants and deviants over the years,

this one, if you buy any Midnight Express or Heavily Bodies tag team set,

you can get it half price, only $24.95 and autographed.

Plus, the thank you fuck you buy t-shirts are available again after the past couple of years off duty for the Christmas holidays, and we'll

decide whether we keep them after that.

And

all the rest of our fine,

unfrivolous merchandise,

it's got a lot of weight and heft and gravity to it, folks, is available at jimcornet.com and you can be a part.

And pictures now

at the website on the home page, front page.

What do they call it, Brian?

The

homepage?

Page six.

Hotchkiss wanted to do, what was it, the page two girl in England?

He wanted to have various pictures of me topless on page two

but I said just stick to the front page

but anyway you can you can see all that right now

and that's a public service announcement for Cornet's collectibles

all right

I've actually got a letter here Brian and this is not

an email.

I got this in a mail along with a package for my birthday.

I told you before we went on the air, I was going to read something to you you at first weren't going to believe because when I first got this,

I read like about to the second sentence.

I said, oh, okay, bullshit.

And then I got a little bit further and realized that it also,

besides the fact that of this letter, he had sent pages of documentation of here's the YouTube links at him being interviewed about these various topics or even

pictured with these people, or the documentation, right?

So, as preposterous as all this shit sounds that I'm about to say to you, it's actually legitimate.

So, I don't want anybody to think that this is a made-up comedy bit somehow in the program.

But, Brian, would you like to hear the email?

Richard Hunter from,

well, fuck, I forgot.

His home is not on here.

I assume he's from out in Nevada, as you'll get when we read the email or the letter.

But Richard Hunter, would you like to hear what Richard has to say?

Of course.

This is going so well.

Well, you know, you don't need to be snide just because you're goddamn feeling puny today.

As a loyal listener, see, you're already insulting the listeners.

I want you to know that I'm always amused when you and Brian reference an infamous moment in prostitution history that I have a direct connection to.

Already it's starting in a way I did not expect.

Well, sometimes we talk about things that's going on in the news, Brian, right?

I didn't realize we were referencing infamous moments in prostitution history.

No.

Well, EC goes on to say, I was the manager of the Love Ranch in Nevada when Lamar Odem OD'd there, and I was the one who called 911 and gave him CPR until paramedics arrived.

This is verifiable by Googling my name and his together, and I did, and it is.

As I subsequently had my face plastered on every media outlet from Good Morning America to Nancy Grace for about two weeks,

I even had someone portray me in a crime scene reenactment as the concerned whorehouse proprietor who found a six foot

hold on here as the it sounds like a good script i'm out of breath as the concerned whorehouse proprietor who found a six foot 10 inch nba player at death's door with two hysterical prostitutes in bed with him

Now just stopping down here for a second.

On the next episode of Hookers with a Heart.

They may not have had a heart.

They may just have had a goddamn brain.

So

I guess now it's been a while, right?

Maybe for some of the kids out there who had not attained

legal age of talking about this stuff or hearing about this stuff, that Lamar Odom was the basketball player that OD'd

after spending like three days and untold tens of thousands of dollars in this whorehouse in Nevada,

and he took so many drugs to help him continue to do it

that he had like, didn't his heart just fucking blow out and his eyes roll back, and he just went in a fucking coma?

That kind of shit?

I think it's been a while.

I don't even remember all the details.

It's been a while since that's happened to you.

And

yes, and he was married, and he was in the hospital

like for potentially weeks, as I recall it.

This was some process where he was like, babe,

baby, good to me.

Because he was fucked up.

And will he ever walk or function or piss anywhere but in his pants again?

And not only is a big, rich NBA player, but he's married to one of the Kardashians.

Which annoying Kardashian was it that he was married to?

The one that's clearly not in any way related to Robert Kardashian.

That one.

Did their relationship last the test of time?

Only time will tell if they'll last the test of time.

Did we tell it?

I believe they have both moved on.

Probably.

Well, he might have been in a wheelchair moving on.

So anyway, here Richard is involved in that.

And then Richard continues.

Back to Richard.

Or if we can call him now Dick.

A few weeks weeks back when you and Brian referenced Liberace's former lover, Scott Thorson,

you remember that?

You were talking about that the other day.

Yeah, we mentioned him and then he died.

Yes.

And then we mentioned him again because he died.

Well, he

Richard says, I was again taken back to my time in the employee of that same house of ill repute.

In 2013, when the Michael Douglas Matt Damon movie Behind the Candelabra, which we've talked talked about in the past,

was released telling the story of Liberace and Thorsen,

I discovered that the latter was simultaneously being held in a Reno jail on charges of identity fraud.

I convinced the brothel's owner.

Dennis Hoff, have you seen this guy on like Showtime and shit?

Yeah, I remember that guy.

He used to be on HBO, yeah.

Well, I knew it was one of those things.

He said, I convinced the brothel's owner, Dennis Hoff, a a shameless self-promoter who proudly called himself the P.T.

Barnum of Pussy, to bail Thorson out of jail and move him into the brothel as a PR stud where he became an official greeter to the Board LO's patrons for a number of months until he was eventually sent back to prison for parole violations.

During his stay with us, I became his personal minder and actually found him to be a very kind soul with a tragic propensity for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, like the forest gump of Hollywood debauchery.

So he not only

tried to save Lamar Odom, but he tried to reform Liberace's lover.

And it gets better.

He's also

as my Liberace, ladies and gentlemen.

Richard is also a fan of remember when I said that my friend out in eastern Kentucky sent me the the the Tojo Yamamoto album of the the noise rock conceptualist involving the newest member of ZZ Top and the blah blah blah that's right

well he said I was actually going to send you the Tojo Yamamoto album for your birthday

But he already heard that I got it, so he sent me a Tojo Yamamoto hoodie,

a band hoodie

With Tojo Yamamoto on it.

Do I need a better description?

I think you've described it just fine.

Okay.

Well, you're just, you're not even saying, well, that's cool.

Does it have an image of Tojo?

Yes.

Is his family getting a cut?

Well, it's got the goddamn, the just Tojo Yamamoto and the stars and the fucking.

Would you stop now trying to create trouble?

I'm looking for a new client, and I hear that the Yamamoto family is looking for representation.

If you ever overdose in bed with two hookers out at the fucking love ranch,

then I bet you Richard won't save you if you don't straighten up.

And finally.

That'll be the day I have to pay for it.

Give me a break.

Well, you'll pay for it or they'll rough you up in the back alley.

I found that one out the hard way.

But finally, here's another goddamn.

Now, Brian, you've got to listen to this now.

Is this still Richard?

Is another?

Yes, this is still Richard.

He's in everything.

He's involved in everything.

Also enclosed is a DVD documentary about the 53 Pit Bulls that were rescued from former NFL quarterback Michael Vick's dogfighting ring.

Oh my god, wow.

Yeah.

How is he involved in that?

Well, hold on.

By the way, this is not Richard.

This is me, but I'm sure Richard would probably vouch for it.

Fuck Michael Vick.

That piece of fucking shit.

I can't believe they let him come back and play football.

If if those goddamn big tough football players had one goddamn ounce of balls in their body they'd have told whoever the fuck owned those teams we're not getting on the field with this piece of

except if we do we're going to stick our cleats up his ass

and and they should have run him out of the goddamn thing but nevertheless he ought to be in prison for the rest of his life because fuck you michael vic and what the fuck are you going to do about it you know what they ought to have done they ought to tie him down in the courthouse square pour fucking honey all over, spread eagle,

pour honey all over him, put some fire ants on him and whatever's left over, let the fucking kids in the neighborhood, 12 and under for 10 cents get to kick him in a fucking head, and adults for 25 cents get to kick him in a fucking balls.

We want to keep the price cheap so everybody can be involved.

And then put him in a fucking rocket and blast his worthless ass to the moon.

But that's just my opinion.

Fucking piece of shit.

Anyway, again, what's Richard's involvement with it?

I'm about to tell you.

I will tell you right now.

My girlfriend and I, this is Richard speaking again.

My girlfriend and I are featured in this documentary as we adopted one of those pit bulls from the sanctuary that they were sent to after the police raid on Vic's House of Horrors.

And our dog, Mel, lived to be almost 15 years old before peacefully passing away at a ripe old age.

And he was actually the sweetest and most loving dog I've ever known.

So

they have three other rescued pit bulls.

And

finally, in his personal connection to me,

when I was 10 years old, you screamed at me ringside of Will Rogers Coliseum in Fort Worth that you were going to have your mother's lawyers sue all of us.

And my mom then had to explain to me what a lawsuit was.

Thank you for not following through on that.

So that Richard has been, I'd say he's been following me, but he's been following everybody.

Wow.

And I guess he left the prostitution business.

I think maybe he's running the whole thing.

Didn't that Dennis Hoff dive some kind of goddamn

heart attack?

I thought he said he was a former friendly whorehouse owner or whatever it was.

Well, that's what,

you know, sometimes you have to say, Brian.

But anyway, Wink Wink.

Thank you, Richard.

Well, I'll tell you, you know, here's the thing with Lamar fucking Odom.

What was it he had?

He had been taking the ecstasy and who knows that

those designer drugs, the crack and the ecstasy and the things they mix together in the bathroom sink.

You need all natural things.

If you're going to take supplements,

if you're going to take things to help you with your health and your rest and your

various daily life and to dull the pain of the existence on this cold, cruel blue marble in the sky,

you can't be just using shit to people mix up in underneath their bathroom sink or

stuff that you need to call a doctor if it takes effect for more than four hours.

And you can't use that for four days straight.

See, you need to be straight with this stuff.

Clean,

pure, high quality ingredients, no fluff, no fillers.

And the first thing that I think of when I hear that, Brian, you know, is our friends at CB Distillery.

That's right.

Well, I'm glad you agree with me.

Because they have targeted formulations made from the highest quality clean ingredients, pure effective CBD solutions designed to help support your health.

Well, not

your health specifically, Brian, but the royal you, all of your healthises out there.

Would it be yours' health, your healthises?

All the lovely people of the world.

How would you say that and bring them all in?

I don't know if there's a way to say because I don't even know what the hell you're trying to say.

Help support all your healths out there.

All the health of all the people?

All the health of all the people.

Well, there you go.

That's why I was asking.

And see,

that's why you went to school.

That's why I have you here.

I went to community college for two years.

Well, they see they taught you something.

You know, when I was in school, the teacher said I was the most brilliant student she ever had.

Really?

Her exact words were, I can't teach you anything.

But, folks, they teach you in non-clinical surveys surveys that when you go to CB Distillery and you get some of their fine, fine, clean ingredients, that 81% of their customers experience more calm.

You're peaceful.

You're serene.

It's like you're David Carradine in kung fu, not in the closet.

80% said CBD helped them with pain after physical activity.

Let's say every time you walk down the street, people are just kicking the shit out of you.

Well, if you take a couple of these, it won't hurt so bad.

And 90% said they sleep better with CBD products from cbdistillery.com.

And if 90% of the people say it, then it must be true.

And the other 10% are lying, right?

No, I mean, different people have different thoughts, different opinions.

That's one of the great things about civilization.

Well, once you start taking the CBD, everyone's thoughts will be the same and every every pattern will be the same, and every routine will be the same.

None of this, that's not how it works.

The romulans,

but right now, there's two million customers, so we need many more to achieve complete dominance.

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You don't have to worry about being a lot of people.

A lot of people start that way.

No, don't worry about how you start.

Worry about about how you finish, how you finish your day after a rough start or maybe just a day where you need to relax.

You need your body to relax.

CB Distillery is there for you.

Tell them how to get there, Jim.

Yes, cbdistillery.com.

The promo code is JCE.

And then, as I mentioned before, if you're lucky enough to be called upon for your opinion to mean something in the world, maybe you can be a part.

of one of our fine, high-quality non-clinical surveys.

Where do you think we're getting these numbers?

Just Just pulling them out of our ass?

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all right, Brian.

Well, nobody's going to get a good amount of sleep, and nobody's going to be calm until we answer the most pressing question on the minds of everybody today around the wrestling world.

The hot issue that everybody's talking about it.

Who's Danny Garcia going to sign with?

Well, Daniel Garcia, to be clear, Danny Garcia is the gigantic wife or ex-wife of The Rock,

not the AEW wrestler.

Well,

if you're friends with him, do you have to call him Daniel?

Maybe Dan?

Maybe.

I don't know.

Hey, maybe Big D.

You don't got to call him Daniel.

This is a story because we've been talking about the idea that WWE,

I guess they went and made a play for Swerve, and Swerve signed a renewal with AEW that was for an amount that WWE was shocked by.

The thought was that the same thing is going to happen with Daniel Garcia.

And now there's a headline, and a bunch of the listeners have been sending this over this morning from the Wrestling Observer newsletter website by Ian Carey.

AEW less confident Daniel Garcia will resign.

Ooh.

If I go to the article here, AEW is not as confident as they once were that Daniel Garcia will resign with the company.

Always repeat the headline as the first sentence, I guess.

Last month, it was reported that while Garcia and AEW had not come to terms on a new new deal, the promotion believed he was most likely staying.

However, our own Dave Meltzer noted on last night's wrestling observer.

I'm glad they claim him.

Noted on last night's Wrestling Observer Radio that AEW is no longer as certain as they once were.

Why don't we stop there for a second?

Again, Daniel Garcia's contract's coming out.

Was the last time we saw him when he wrestled MJF at the pay-per-view?

Well, that's right.

Where is Danny?

He hasn't been on TV.

He laid out

MJF bad enough that MJF is selling injuries and is off television.

And now

Danny Garcia hurt MJF so bad, Danny Garcia is selling the injuries and he's off television.

So

I don't understand.

One would think that if they wanted to capitalize on what they did at the pay-per-view, they would have the guy that triumphantly slayed the dragon, MJF, and got even for the treacherous and horrible things that have been done to him and blah, blah, blah, to come and crow about it.

But instead, he's hidden too.

So that means they're ashamed and probably have buyers' remorse now for what they did on the pay-per-view.

Because if the knucklehead doesn't come back, then the last time we saw him in the company was

he's a fucking middle-card blais who laid out the top heel in the company

Harley has an allergy by the way for those that might be listening in

so how does that make sense Brian that that that

that they would have both of them off television and why if you didn't know that this guy was coming back would you have him lay out the top guy in the company?

Well, let's see if this explains that.

Here's a quote from Dave Meltzer:

As far as what's going to happen with him, I would say this:

I would say that the almost surety or the strong confidence that he was signing,

I wouldn't say it's as strong, but I wouldn't say that he's leaving either.

But it may not be as strong as it was a month ago.

He may leave.

What the what?

I don't know what I just read.

Was that

that's a that's a quote, right?

As far as what's going to happen with him, I would say this.

All right, so this is what he's saying: I would say that the almost surety or the strong confidence that he was signing,

I wouldn't say it's as strong,

but I wouldn't say that he's leaving either.

But it's not as strong as it was a month ago, he may leave.

Are these lyrics on like another level?

Yes, I think

he's singing from both sides of the relationship.

I do believe it's not as strong as it was last month.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

He may stay.

He may leave.

Meltzer.

Thank you, I must be going might be the new theme song they play on Saturday nights.

Meltzer continued to say that Garcia not being on on AEW programming of late is due to his not having re-signed.

Meltzer says Tony Khan is often hesitant to put talent on AEW programming if he feels they are likely going to leave the company when their contracts are up.

Hence Miro in Bulgaria for five years.

They will send him to the Russian front.

Here's a quote from Dave.

If they believe somebody's not going to sign, and that's why a lot of guys that you see or don't see, there's a reason that you don't see because the belief is when their contract is up, they are going to go.

And if that's the case, Tony's just not going to put them on TV.

He could go in there and job them, but some of them complain.

But some of them complain.

But some of them complain.

Oh, my God.

He just didn't want to put them on TV in a lot of cases.

I think we've seen that.

And with that, we want to say hello to Ricky Starks out there in Texas.

We hope you're doing well.

We hope to see you soon.

Is he the one of the sick and shut-ins that listens to our program?

Okay, but

back up.

Back the fuck up a second.

How long

before the end of your contract?

How long?

I can understand.

Yeah, fuck, he's checked out.

He's six weeks, his contract is up, whatever the fuck him.

We don't need him anyway.

He puts so-and-so over, whatever.

But a year and a fucking half

when we don't see some of these, there are plenty of people that we don't see for a year, year, and then they come back.

And they're back for a while.

And then they go away.

So you can't really tell, but how long

before these alleged people's

contracts are up, does he just say, oh, just go home and I'll mail you a check every week?

Because a lot of these people are gone for a long fucking time.

So then is that

yeah if if

if you sign for three years is it going to be that you only have to work the first two and then just let them know ah fuck it I ain't happy and you get the extra year as a bonus.

Listen, I'm a wrestler.

My family want to spend time with me.

Day one, I announce I'm signing with WWE in three years.

And then I go home.

And then I go home.

And then when he brings me in, I tell him that I complain about the booking and I complain about who he wants me the job to.

And then he sends me home and pays me more.

I like this.

This is the wrestler's dream.

Garcia, who turned 26 last week, debuted in AEW on an episode of Dark in September 2020.

AEW announced he signed a full-time deal in October 2021.

Garcia is a former Ring of Honor Pure Champion and the current Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Champion.

But only in the orangutan division

i i

you know

again

it

if i know there's there's there's being sure and there's taking people's words and i've been the victim of trying to you know believe the best of people in the past but

he didn't even deserve to be in a pay-per-view match with mjf it's just he just

a piece of goddamn cake with no icing.

It's fine.

It's just there.

It needs something.

Maybe later down the road, whatever the fuck.

But

when it's the MJF and it's your top heel and the guy hasn't signed and you say, oh, just fucking hospitalize MJF.

It'll be all right.

And beyond that, and take Daniel Garcia out of the picture.

It could be any wrestler.

If your philosophy is, I don't know if I'm going to re-sign him so I'm going to keep him off TV.

Why did you spend months building him up?

They just built him up for the MJF thing.

He lost the match, got the pile drivers at the end, and then he disappeared.

What sense did that make?

Was that a better feud than MJF versus Hetchichero?

Oh, I forgot about you, Chichi-Chichia.

And so if Garcia doesn't...

Well, here, though, this is goddamn.

This is going to make him a baby face in AEW when he resigns now.

But no,

here's what he's he's done.

Here's what he's done.

Because Tony seems to me to have

an orderly mind about these things, about his ideas.

He wants his ideas to come to fruition.

So now he knows if this knucklehead doesn't sign again,

then MJF will never get his revenge.

So he's automatically got to pay more to make sure that he resigns because otherwise Tony's big angle

will be all for naught.

That's what it is.

Because

I got to be honest with you, what is the WWE wanting there that they haven't got?

What attribute

of Garcia's are they wanting to purchase there that they don't have people that have multiple examples of that particular talent or skill or whatever the case?

I don't know.

I don't know what their motivation is or isn't.

But if you're Garcia and this is true.

Or are they just trying to drive Tony's fucking payroll up again?

If you're Garcia and this is true and you have Tony Khan offering you above market value versus WWE offering you fair or maybe even below fair market value to come in, but you'll be in NXT and you'll be part of it.

The system,

the vortex.

You know, you never know what happens.

And, you know, give someone like that a couple of years in NXT?

Who knows?

Who knows how they develop with real,

you know, I'm not even going to get into his initial training.

He's been in AEW for a few years.

We hear from enough people and we know enough about what's going on there.

That's not a great place to grow and learn.

And who knows what NXT would do for him.

Also, Brandon Thurston trained him.

Brandon Thurston of WrestleNomics.

If this kid has a couple bidders, he's also got people he could talk to about what the hell should I do?

Well, yeah, you know, he should be a human calculator.

So he's got that going for him.

What would you do if you were him?

I'd jump off a bridge.

But seriously, all that money from Tony for three or five years versus

three-year deal from WWE.

They send you to NXT.

We'll see how it goes.

You're not going to make as much.

You have to move to Florida.

From what I've seen of Mr.

Garcia, if I was Mr.

Garcia, I'd take Tony's money.

Now, if Garcia in five years is a big star, and I'm not talking about if Tony's still around, I'm talking about as a big star in this business,

probably in the WWE to be a big star in this business, then I will.

You can play me the tape of those words, and I'll cut up the tape and eat it on the air.

Yeah, I don't know if that would benefit anyone, so we're not going to do that.

Well, that's something we can build to.

We can advertise.

Garcia's got five years from

right now to become a superstar, or elsewhere, I'm going to have to eat tape on the air.

This is how I can tell you're becoming.

This is a goddamn programming.

This is the sign that you're aging right here.

It used to be just a few years ago.

I will strip naked and march down Main Street playing songs and singing and dancing.

Well, it's something now that I have the energy to really do that I would do.

But see, it's long-term storytelling because people be counting down the time.

Will he have to eat his words?

If you know you have someone

you as a booker like and want to do things with, and their contract's coming up in a year or six months or three months or six weeks, how do you treat it?

Well, if it's coming up in a fucking year, you still try to get as much out of them as you can get.

And you know, if they become a superstar, you'd you'd like to keep them, you pay them more if they get over real good.

But there's no reason to start

fucking ushering a guy out the door.

He's going to be with you for a year.

Six months to 90 days, you know, well, let's start thinking about what's going on.

Do I have a spot for him or is somebody else I'd like to bring in and be fresher or whatever?

And then talk to him.

Does he want to hang around or has he got

interest in going somewhere else?

But not

a year, and certainly not next month.

Your contract's up.

What the fuck?

Would you like to pile drive some people and incapacitate them and then decide later?

That's there's some middle ground in between that.

Well, that's AEW contract news.

Uh, speaking of um and Dave Meltzer turning into Captain Beefheart, what is it?

God damn it, it's just

it.

I used to think,

and there was, I'll just make this brief comment.

There was some element of, I know he's just rushing to type some things, right?

You could overlook that, but now it's like,

how does he think that way and come out the other end of it?

And speaking of coming out the other end, that's a good transition.

The Vince McMahon Netflix thing, by the time the people hear this, will have been flung upon the world.

But

it's still

36 hours away from us.

So we are going to

be trying to cover this whole thing on the drive-through.

Six hours of Vince McMahon's life, we may all go to hell just for watching it, right?

But that's your program.

So you're cracking the whip on me.

I can't wait to watch this.

I think it's going to be a big thing.

And of course, now here ahead of it, a day ahead of it, two days ahead of it, Vince McMahon issuing a statement preemptively.

He's already trying to temper expectations, right?

And I believe last week, Janelle Grant's attorneys held a very short press conference just saying that,

you know, her case is real and whatever the producers do here.

I think,

at least initially, there's distrust on one side.

And now it appears the distrust with the producers is coming from Vince.

Let me pull up the quote here.

Any comments or thoughts on that?

Well, yeah, because

I said the

statement that Grants people, Grants people, sounds like we're talking about Appomattox, the fucking

that Grant's attorneys put out

was just kind of, hey, you know, heads up, remember this is still an ongoing thing and we, you know, we don't know how this Netflix thing is going to turn out or, you know, whatever, just stating their position.

But then Vince actually

because they they

they really don't I they have no reason to have discovery over anything related to that because Vince never spoke to him after

this allegation and Janelle Grant was made public so they're in the dark like a lot of people are that haven't actually seen the thing yet Well,

Vince is in it.

Well, I was about to say Vince is in it.

And Vince has apparently seen at least some of it

because he's already, as you said, preemptively going, well, now, wait a minute.

Go ahead.

And actually, it should be noted because that happened before this.

Dave Meltzer is saying that Vince attempted to purchase the film back from Netflix,

which is something Oprah Winfrey just did.

Apple, I think it was Apple, did a documentary about her.

She hated the way it turned out, bought it back,

suppressed it.

And Vince made an attempt.

Oh, shit, I agreed to this.

It's all gone to hell in a handbasket.

I'm going to buy it back.

And they wouldn't sell it back to him.

And then, according to Dave Meltzer, Vince tried to get Ari Emmanuel to do something about it, and nothing was done.

Well, for Vince to actually go to a big brother,

that's very unusual.

And now, one thing that I have been

reliably informed on is that Vince did indeed sit down for this.

You've seen him in the trailer.

He did speak to these people and he was

in support of or had people close to him support the thing

until

the for not even Janelle Grant, but just the first

allegation or revealment of an NDA for the payments made for

improper things with women, whoever that first one was.

My God, it's been so long ago, Brian.

But that was when he stopped talking to these people.

And I would assume the people that he would have,

you know, given the okay to talk to, they stopped talking to him.

So they don't have any

footage of him

talking about the last couple years, but that doesn't mean they're not going to be covering it because they can't just leave it to a

a graphic at the end of the screen at the end of

episode six.

That's That's probably why it's taken so long from the time that we heard it was going to be coming out till it actually is out because they found out they had a lot more fish to fry, so to speak.

And again, we're thinking about just Janelle Grant.

The Rita Chatterton thing led to him paying her millions of dollars for it to go away.

So now that that happened after the production,

There's something that I think happened in 86 or 87 that if they're telling the story in order, there will be some reference there.

We don't know.

But here's the statement Vince McMahon released on Twitter.

Now you're going to hurt yourself.

I'm sorry, I was just preparing myself.

That's what Janelle said.

You're going to hurt yourself.

Come on, we'd be night with.

What the hell kind of comment is that?

Let's get to this statement here.

That didn't mean she was out of shape.

I don't regret participating in this Netflix documentary.

The producers had an opportunity to tell an objective story about my life and the incredible business I built, which were equally filled with excitement, drama, fun,

and a fair amount of controversy and life lessons.

Unfortunately, based on an early partial cut I've seen, this doc falls short and takes the predictable path of conflating the Mr.

McMahon character

with my true self, Vince.

The title and promos alone make that evident.

A lot has been misrepresented or left out entirely in an effort to leave viewers intentionally confused.

The producers use typical editing tricks with out-of-context footage and dated sound bites, etc.,

to distort the viewer's perception and support a deceptive narrative.

In an attempt to further their misleading account, the producers use a lawsuit based on an affair I ended as evidence that I am, in fact,

Mr.

McMahon.

And it wasn't me, it was her.

She was the one in the wrong.

I kicked her out.

I hope the viewer will keep an open mind and remember: there are two sides to every story.

Oh, boy.

So now, Lord Alfred Hayes.

Already he's pulling the editing and the and oh my gosh.

And it's a

don't believe your eyes and ears and the things that people say in this.

It was altered.

Are you surprised that we're getting in here just a couple of days out?

I mean, this is something

when pushed against the wall, he's taken to the air in the past, whether it was the steroid thing, whether it was right as it was starting up and then when he won the trial,

or

with the attacks on the

being Russo-Ific and everything kind of degenerating into the late 90s period of just no class anywhere in society.

You know, he went to the airwaves and he explained that, you know, we're not going to be old-fashioned.

We're going to take a new approach.

And,

you know, this is something he tends to do.

Are you surprised that there's no video statement?

Well, probably not, but are you surprised the only statement is right now, two days out?

Well, see, before he had a platform, which I

don't know that he's particularly welcome,

you know, at the tower, the new tower.

And

to be honest, I'm wondering if he knows now that he ain't got it.

He ain't got the energy.

He doesn't come off well.

Is he finally?

Because

that's an awful polite

statement, denial,

you know,

issue-muddying tweet or whatever from Vince that the old Vince may have been more direct and in your face and fuck off and et cetera.

Does he realize that he hadn't got the look or the energy or the voice or the

wherewithal to match the old Vince?

Is he trying to stay low-key and nice old man?

At what point does he get Kevin Dunn to produce his own documentary about himself?

I'm not even joking.

What did Vince get when he sold the company?

He got the rights to his name and his likeness.

Not the footage, obviously, but he got a lot of rights that most people wouldn't get.

And Kevin Dunn's also

his biggest all-time lackey.

And he got $2 billion, so he wouldn't have to worry about financing the flick.

But yeah,

and that's from a partial,

I viewed a partial cut.

Jesus Christ.

Otherwise,

this whole thing is a complete propaganda piece put together by the

Interior Department of Stalinism or whatever.

That's from a part of it I saw.

That's the thing.

Focus on my business and how big I built it, not

everything I did along the way.

Janelle Grant's attorney, Ann Callis,

no relation.

issued a statement.

Vince McMahon physically and emotionally abused, sexually assaulted, and human-trafficked Janelle Grant for more than two years.

Calling his horrific and criminal behavior an affair is delusional and nothing more than a sad attempt to save his shredded reputation.

Although Ms.

Grant has not seen the Mr.

McMahon docuseries, we hope It shines a bright light on his abhorrent and criminal actions by accurately portraying the realities of his abusive and exploitive behavior.

Ms.

Grant will no longer be silenced by McMahon.

Her story, though deeply troubling and emotionally painful, is one that could help other abuse survivors find their voices.

We seek to hold McMahon, John Laurinitis, and WWE accountable and to give Ms.

Grant her day in court.

Boy, howdy, old Johnny Ace is always sandwiched right in between the big man, Alphonse Scarface himself and the rest of the Chicago mob, isn't he?

It's like he's Frank Nitty.

He was Vince's guy, I mean, to the point where they were doing this shit together in the office.

You think Johnny Ace is going to be one of the talking heads in the documentary up until like the point where Vince stopped cooperating?

I don't know because this still, it's Netflix, and would they want his head to talk just for the aesthetics of it?

Well, then you could point out that he's the other party accused of being a party to this.

I'm just thinking when they set him down and they closed in on the headshot for the sit-down interview, they say, oh, fuck that fucking face.

Jesus Christ, just pass on him.

Well, the anticipation is building.

I mean, this...

This is going to be some kind of fucking documentary.

Apparently, we were wrong.

It's not going to be 3 a.m.

It may debut at midnight.

In which case, we may have to push back recording.

I may stay up all night.

Oh, wait, what?

What?

Hold on now.

Hold on.

What now?

Midnight is 3 a.m., depending on which side of the country.

Which side of the country are they on?

Oh, actually, are they on the right side or the left side?

Maybe it's 3 a.m.

Eastern.

Oh, I'll see it in the morning, but six hours.

How are they going to fill up six hours?

Oh, there's.

If there are people not only

willing to tell stories about Vince McMahon, but also

there are

plenty of stories to tell about Vince McMahon and plenty of things to cover in his life.

You could fill six hours.

It just remains to be seen, I think, how poor Vince ultimately himself in the documentary and his

rather sullied reputation or whatever they said is going to come off

in the end of it.

You see, he can't talk anymore.

See, that kind of thing might work against him now.

Whereas before, he could he was like Anthony Perkins,

where he could talk like, even though there was a psycho in there somewhere, he could talk like an innocuous, regular, everyday person.

And then he'd suddenly slap fucking Bob Costas's notebook out of his hand or whatever the fuck's going on.

And, but now it's just he's a hunched over,

grumbling old man who can't, you know, as you talk about the

never notwithstanding.

And it, and now it's just, it's weird.

It's weird.

This is a great buildup for Shane McMahon's return, I think.

Well, yeah,

no, he's going to AEW because that angle with the plumber ripping off an independent flick from Australia 30 years ago proves that Shane McMahon will soon be working in.

Yeah, the fucking hell.

What do you think the odds are something like that might happen, Brian?

Oh, those odds, those are high odds.

Those odds are so high they could even touch the sky.

Well, folks, if you'd like some great odds, the odds are that I'm going to be able to tell you how that you can use the odds to your favor in

making money in a way that's not very odd.

The sentence is a bit odd, but well, it's

good job, Dave.

Explain that.

Well, that's why I was trying to explain how how Dave Meltzer writes his copy.

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Well, I'll tell you, the last time he came into the studio, I reached in my back pocket to pull my wallet out and shook hands with that guy.

Now would you like to talk about SmackDown?

We got to catch up with the the WWE because the last program we did we caught up with the AEW

And now we got to give them equal time.

Over the weekend, they had the SmackDown and the Raw.

And

I'll take it.

Over the weekend.

Over the weekend.

It's SmackDown and Raw Friday and Monday.

That's over the weekend.

I mean, that's literally over the weekend, as in

it doesn't touch the weekend.

Well, across the weekend, would you rather say across the weekend?

What do you just see?

That's why you're just questioning the question.

I don't understand why you bring the weekend into it.

It's the week.

week those that's the start of the end of the week since the last time that you and i spoke to do one of these programs it has gone from friday night to monday or to tuesday morning right and and this is the wrestling that has happened over that weekend

in the sense that before and after the weekend yes monday's not monday night's not the weekend unless it's a holiday weekend Which one of us is Alvarez in this now?

It's not my job.

Anyway, the the smackdown for september 20th i just wanted to acknowledge a couple of things that went on because it has been a few days ago now but i wanted to call attention to a couple of things

and and one of them is to help one of one of the people that i hold dear to my heart not you

But they were in Sacramento, California at 14,549 people in Sacramento.

And I apologize to the people of Sacramento, but Sacramento is not known

historically for being a major goddamn wrestling capital, is it?

Back in the 90s, they weren't doing 15,000 fucking people.

But

I mean, again, just the look

of the show is even when they do the

wrestling tropes, as the kids say,

the backstage stuff, and what this is shot at least more professionally or it looks like more thought has gone into it or

there's some extra level of professionalism to

whatever right do you agree with me on that from the wwe program to the aew programs not even just that from wwe programs to wwe five years ago everyone always talked about wwe production how good it was they were good at being static and looking great at that but now we've seen a whole new level of production this is major league like it's never been before Yeah,

the WWE stopped progressing with the great production when they were the WWF, practically,

because of the Kevin Dunn era.

They got the reputation for being good and stayed just good enough to be good, right?

But this is a whole nother level of stuff.

But

having said that, let me call your attention to something at the top of the program.

Because we would scoff at this

if it was done in AEW.

And

at the same point, while it was done,

it was done more seriously here and more shot somewhat more well done, etc.

I still, they're going to fucking

burn this thing out with the bloodline, or they're going to lose this thing, as the guys used to say when they were complaining to the booker.

We're going to lose this thing.

The bloodline come into the arena earlier, and they're in the back, and they're having to come through a metal detector, like they're entering the courthouse or whatever.

And they want to be seen as, or portrayed as, you know,

malevolent, gangstas, whatever.

So Tama Tonga comes through first, and he kind of blows off the guy trying to pat him down.

And then Tonga Loa comes,

get away from me.

But Jacob Fatu comes through, sets the thing thing off, and when the guy goes to pat him down,

he head-butts him and super kicks him and beats up the other guys.

Boom, boom, boom.

All right.

And normally, I would say bullshit.

And I have to say bullshit here, even though it looked better

than

normal when these things are done, except for

Jacob Fatu needs to quit doing these fucking headbutts because it's his go-to.

It's his nervous tick now in

a match.

If he doesn't,

if he's not ready to do the next other thing he's going to do, he's going to headbutt a guy.

The headbutt backstage, they don't look that good.

He's got so many things that he can do that look amazing.

Unless he's going to draw back and really headbutt the motherfucker.

which I don't recommend,

he needs to drastically cut back on him.

But if you've got him,

the reason why that he has gotten over more quickly than anybody else in the bloodline

saga has gotten over when they were first introduced is because he can do all that impressive stuff and they have had him had him do it to top main event talent.

But if they start making him another one of these regular guys that is doing

way too much bullshit back and to back to people.

That's

if they want to get him over as a real life tough guy, let him snatch a motherfucker by the neck and intimidate him and shove him down on his ass.

But he doesn't have to do super kicks to the goddamn staff.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

It takes a level of believability away from him that his talent gives him.

In general, I've never been a big fan of certain headbutts sometimes it looks good rhea ripley makes it always look and sound good but that's a different way than most people have ever done it

but like the headbutt off the top rope onto an opponent to me that's something that as a fan i never like because it just doesn't it doesn't look it has to be explained because it doesn't look like the head's just bonking off the head looks like the head's hitting something else

i haven't noticed that jacob fatu's been overdoing it obviously you saw him at the beginning of his career.

Well, no, I'm talking about just what I saw on this show and just the last couple of weeks, whether he's in an angle or in a match, a transition thing, if he's dropped an elbow on a guy, he might pick the guy up and just do the headbutt to him as he's going back to tag or whatever.

But it's a lot of them and they don't look stunning.

And it's a smaller move.

If he was going to fucking grab a guy by his hair with his left hand and rear back like goddamn,

you know, one of the 60s fucking guys and do the big, ah, Cocoa butt, boom, maybe okay.

But just these little short,

big headbutts from this otherwise incredibly impressive guy.

I think he's just, it's a crutch he's using.

He's relying.

Punch the guy at least.

Because it's easier for the people in the cheap seats to see when you punch than when you're doing those little tight fucking headbutts.

It's a little piccadillo, but nevertheless, I think the problem is also not the head butts.

That's a minor chap of my ass.

But the main thing is they can't start having Jacob actually come out and start burning people's house down or whatever.

Because he's got some credibility and some believability, but I don't want him to just do too much of this

where people go, eh,

yeah,

you know what I mean?

Yeah.

But the first match was the yeah guy

for the United States title LA Knight and Andre.

This match was really good.

Yes, it's good.

It was good.

And the whole thing was done to set up another match between Andrade and Carmelo.

I say the problem is LA night is really over,

and these people in Sacramento, because that's close to LA,

his hometown,

they love him and they like to see this thing.

And they had a good match, so they got the people into it.

But Andrade, as a

just a regular, you know, habit is kind of meh.

And

so I, you know, eh,

it was what it was.

But

basically, you know, they ended up, LA Knight wins.

Hayes makes fun of fucking

Andre in the back for losing, and they get in a big fight, and now they're going to have another fucking, they've had like six matches, or they're doing a best of seven, or whatever the fuck they're doing.

What are they doing?

I don't know.

know

well i mean have they have they put a limit on this because they were they showed their

their record at one point the graphics they've had six fucking matches or this is going to be the sixth or whatever

you don't have any idea whether i have no idea no because you just so then you were oh you didn't watch this this was a great match now you know absolutely nothing about what was going on i don't pay attention to the commentary especially if it's like a game on or something.

I watched a match and I was really impressed with the match.

I started listening to the commentary by the end of it.

I thought, I thought it was a hell of a run there at the end of that match and the fans are really into it.

And it's not because they're in Sacramento.

I think L.A.

Night has proven

almost every place they go is his hometown based on the reactions.

The problem is, who's he going to work with?

There's no one.

I shouldn't say that, but it doesn't feel like there's anyone at that kind of level that's a heel for him to bounce off that would work right now.

Maybe I'm just not thinking of the person.

I don't know.

Yeah, see, that's the problem.

And who do you envision him working with?

I can't even think.

They got a bunch of top people, but they haven't been putting him in with any of them since the Logan Paul thing.

And

he's got Zibelt,

but, you know, his challengers list is less than scintillating.

But that's, you know,

that's the thing is that all of their matches now on television, except for some of the girls or whatever,

they're going to be reasonably good because all these guys are professional and they've been trained and et cetera, et cetera, and they're not going to, you know, have egregious fuck-ups in the most part and flop dollars gone.

So we can't even look forward to that anymore.

But at the same time, you don't care about, you know, what's going to happen in a lot of these matches.

But People Live are having a wonderful time.

And that pretty much covers that, doesn't it?

I guess that about covers it.

And like I said, LA Night's still over.

And the match was really good.

But last week, if you remember when we did the ratings, Andrade versus Carmelo was the lowest, the lowest, was the lowest.

It was the lowest.

It was the lowest rated quarter of the entire show, even though it still did 1.6-something million viewers.

Hello, can you go?

We're going to talk about that in a minute, too, with their ratings on USA now.

But everybody was

wanting us to comment on or talk about or whatever

the heist movie that they filmed, the big Hollywood blockbuster motion picture summit meeting of the two Dons

from the,

it could be like in the old days, instead of Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns, it could have been James Cagney and Humphrey Bogart

Or Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

Or Leo Gorsi and Hunts Hall.

They met on the east side there at the Bowery where the dead end was and the group of kids.

I loved this thing.

Did you not like this thing?

And The Rock bought them all six SUVs for the.

Yeah, really.

You know, I'm conflicted.

I really really thought it was well done.

And I guess it's come out Paul Heyman personally directed it.

See, he has more in common with Alfred Hitchcock than you people realized.

I thought it was really good, but, you know, I've thought this the last couple of promos about Cody that he's starting to get too much into the talking like bullshit again.

Like, no one's going to be able to relate to him pretty soon if he keeps.

Talking the way he's talking.

He's always wanted to be an actor.

He excelled in this kind of thing.

Roman Reigns, we've heard that he's wanted to be an actor.

I think he's relying too much on his facial twitches and tics.

And like it's to the point now where I just don't buy it at all.

They were both really good in this,

but it was a fucking cinematic thing where as they're walking up, there's a camera behind them.

And then you see them from the front, the camera's gone.

And then there's a camera to the side, but then they show you that side.

They immediately showed you everywhere the camera was in the previous shot, and there's no camera.

So

I have a problem with that.

I don't like that kind of stuff mixed in with the wrestling, but as a little mini movie, like, I don't know, thriller?

I don't know exactly.

And then they should have broke out in a zombie dance.

Can you see Cody and Roman if they'd have done it?

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.

But no, but here's the thing.

I'm not offended by the cinematic presentation when nobody's having a fight.

When it's not when

if they want to gym, because let's face it, this was a big-time-looking deal.

And people don't even know what we're talking about.

Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes had a face-to-face meeting in Atlanta on the Georgia Tech football field, where Roman had played football for Georgia Tech.

And

they have the incredible, the drone shots now and all this shit of these this row of black SUVs pulling up, like six or seven of them, and Roman gets out of one, and I don't know who else was in every other one of them, but

and then Cody pulls up, and what kind of sports car was that, Mr.

Last?

You're a young person.

I don't know.

I don't buy sports cars.

Was that a Lambert Dotson or a fucking...

It was a waste of money, I believe.

A Bentley Geini.

Can't even declare that in your taxes like you can the big truck, but whatever.

Waste of money.

Well, maybe it was a diesel engine, though.

Remember when those were actually cheaper?

Anyway.

see, that's what he should have done.

That was the movie.

If he had showed up in like a fucking Honda Civic,

Roman wouldn't have known what to think.

No, that would have been a Dusty thing.

Dusty would have shown up in a pickup truck.

Well, but it would have been an old pickup truck.

Anyway, Cody pulls up in one sports car, but he's still wearing a suit.

And they meet on the 50-yard line, but it made them look like stars.

That's why it was like a heist movie.

It was incredibly done

and it made them look and you could see them in a fucking movie.

And they didn't look out of place.

I mean, try to put fucking Adam Page or one of those fucking weasels over there in a real legitimate fucking movie and they'd be shaking like dog shitting peach seeds.

But and they weren't having a fight.

It was a conversation, a summit meeting between

these two guys that are going to have to coexist to work together on the team and the big show and what's going to happen and blah, blah, blah.

And Roman came into it.

Let's get one thing straight.

This is my football field.

It means it's my stadium.

It means it's my city.

And then Cody came back with, no, on the other side of this stadium is Techwood Drive.

And down the road is Center Stage.

And over there is what used to be the Omni.

And multiple generations of my family have bled for this city and in this city, and this is my home.

Multiple generations?

Well, two.

But Dustin's older.

Dustin's in the middle there.

You might as well call him his own generation.

So, you're not considering like Dusty's kids are the next generation, Dusty's generation one, they're generation two.

It's just every 20 years you're actually talking?

It sounded better.

So, anyway,

when he said that, the one thing I liked the best about that was when he said that to Roman, all of a sudden, and this has got to be a Heyman.

This was a Heyman.

Roman kind of breaks and smirks and said, you know what?

That impressed me.

Okay, let's get down to business.

And Roman had established that he could acknowledge

that Cody got a pretty good line on him.

So let's talk about what we're going to have to fucking do.

And,

you know, Roman's thing is the fight in the bloodline is dangerous.

And he doesn't have anything to lose, but Cody does.

And Cody, you know,

it told him he warned him he'd be a chief without a tribe.

And you gave him the

whole, you know, fucking

reality check about what was going on.

So then Roman says, what do you want?

What do you want?

I want to know that I want your word that you're going to have my back, is what Cody says.

And so Roman says, I give you my word.

I'll have your back, but when it's done, I'm taking back what's mine,

which is obviously the belt.

And he starts to walk off, and Cody

fucking steps in and says, it's not yours to take.

And then Roman Reigns's last line is, you're in my way in

life.

And

it was very,

was that scorsesi-ish or was that, you know,

Hitchcockian?

I don't think either of those directors, those fantastic directors, I think this was really good, but it was not either of their styles.

You know, this is what Heyman wants.

Heyman wants an Emmy.

And if there was anyone in that company I would have faith in doing cinematic stuff, it's Heyman.

And this was really good.

And both guys are really good.

I'm just not a fan of these kinds of segments

that bend reality on my wrestling shows.

But they were good in it, and it was well done.

And it looked great.

I mean, it looked, it looked great.

They really should make a heist movie.

I'd watch that too.

You know, that brings to mind then

how

realistic,

because I always hate the

fake shot cinematic fights, right?

But then how realistic can an interview get?

How many multiple camera setups can we have?

It looked seamless.

We didn't have the idea that they were doing multiple takes.

They got invisible cameras.

You've seen the invisible camera people, haven't you?

They had multiple invisible cameras.

Cena has been for 25 years now going to all these cities around the country, impregnating these women, and that's where they're getting their troop of invisible cameramen.

You just can't see them.

Anyway, great stuff by these

people.

And Kevin Owens was in the back, scoffing and walking off.

He is not happy

or grumpy or dopey or doc or any of the other ones.

They beat

DaVinci again, right?

Yeah.

No, didn't they?

Yeah, they did.

Cruz rolled him up again, and then Da Vinci dropped him on his head.

I'm looking at my notes.

Anyway,

should we talk about Steen?

We better get used to calling him that.

He's going to be one of the ones that

it takes Tony's retirement fund.

I mean, contracts.

Well, that's an interesting case to look at because if that's true, and if WWE thinks that, he's still on TV.

You know, Daniel Garcia, who we just talked about, nothing's done and he's just off TV.

Kevin Steen, Kevin Owens, is still there.

I mean, Ricochet, they used Ricochet right up until his contract was up.

Well, yeah, they can get, they've got all this time invested in Owens and they know that he's not going to make any

difference.

That's not even in AEW.

That's not a knock on the talent and nobody is going to make a difference in AEW.

They're just going to go there and take more of Tony's money.

The ratings will stay mostly the same, and

everything else will stay mostly the same.

But they're going to use this guy that they're paying and they've got an investment in.

And if he goes,

then most of the audience watching him right now won't know that he didn't just quit wrestling.

Right or wrong?

Right.

Well, so why not use him?

And

he did an entrance, and they like him, they were chanting for him, and he's like, Thanks, guys.

But

he can't believe he just starts talking about Cody teaming with Roman after all that this has happened before.

Well,

right as he starts to talk about it, boom,

here comes the bloodline: the Tongas and Jacob.

And Tama

talked his way to the ring.

And

last week, Roman and Cody embarrassed the tribal chief, so they're going to get it in bad blood, but you're going to get yours tonight.

And

again, I say he's going to be perfect for AEW because

Steen,

instead of,

well, you may be three of you, but I'll get the first one or two that comes to the ropes or whatever.

It's like, well, we know how this is going to end up.

So just jump up here so I can punch you in the face.

He's being a smart ass about the whole thing being phony as usual he's got to be cute

and then he

nails the tongas he has to

he's getting

everybody's in a situation where they can just beat both the tongas up

but they got to fight even or sell for jacob but then

The Tongas will come from behind and stop the guy.

And then here comes Champa and Gargano, and they make a comeback on the Tongas.

But Owens just ducks Jacob and he jumps over the top on his own, missing

Owens, and security comes in, and they sign a six-man tag for later on.

But that,

again,

you know, they're getting something out of Owens, but it's not like he's being

featured like we can't live without him, right?

Yeah.

Do we know when his contract is up?

Is it the beginning of the year?

Is it the end of this year?

We were hearing somewhat imminently and that

some deals were trying to be made, is all I've because you got to wonder if he's going out.

Is he going out as a heel?

Is he going out doing a big job to Cody?

Because they're teasing the turn.

They keep teasing the shit with, I mean, we'll talk about it later, but yeah, but

that would take the edge off turning Orton later on on Cody, which is bigger money.

I don't know.

Yeah.

They had a very awkward Texas Tornado match where Naomi and Bayley wrestled Tiffany in the fridge.

The loser would leave SmackDown, but the winner, whoever got the pinfall,

would get a title match.

So

at one point, you had Bayley and Naomi double-team Tiffany, but then when Bayley covered Tiffany, Naomi had to make save

for the title shot, blah, blah, blah.

And I'll tell you, Jax was bumping.

Jax took a double backdrop.

Did you see any of this match?

No, I was so worn out from the movie earlier at the football game.

Yeah,

I'll tell you,

it was a little awkward in spots, but Jax, the refrigerator, she took a big double backdrop.

She's working hard.

And, you know,

I'll say this, Nia Jax has the kind of face a man likes.

It's too bad a man didn't get it.

But they had what would be called a match here in some circles.

And then both of the babyfaces pinned Jax at the same time.

So now the babyface are going to have to fight, see who gets the title match.

But in the middle of that tomfoolery,

guess how many television sellouts they've had in 2024?

Oh, I saw this recently.

35.

39.

Guess how many

events?

Oh, quit.

Guess how many event sellouts they've had?

How many event sellouts?

In other words, whether it was televised or not.

Oh, so that was just televised.

Yeah, the 39 is the TV sellouts, but they've also sold out

house show events, 58,

39 TVs and 58 total, apparently, but in so far in the year, and they ain't running that often anymore.

And they just announced they're going to be cutting back, that their intention is to keep cutting back every year on how many shows they run.

Did you see that?

Well, yes.

And

I mean, for the main roster at this point, you know, why the fuck not?

Do you really,

even if you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars at an arena event now, that's not even worth risking one of these guys getting hurt?

Isn't that crazy?

It's insane.

Yeah.

But

for the developmental program, for training, for

any kind of experience for young guys,

I'm hoping they rethink that and put some other kind of thing in place where there's some,

there's got to be some level,

even in NXT, where you have to surpass that before you can actually just say, no, you're not going to go

work the rec center in Punta Gorda or whatever the fuck to get experience.

Anyway,

it's not my job to worry about them.

Did you watch the six-man tag,

which was the big The main event?

The main event, blah, blah, blah, that was supposed to be Owens and Chiampa and same face against the Bloodline.

I did.

You know,

that was one of the things about earlier that they kind of established that made me not want to see this match too much was Gargano and Chiampa being involved.

Well,

they weren't there long.

No.

Because

you see Owens' entrance.

And then on the screen, the Bloodline in the back have beat up Chiampa and Gargano, and somebody's got a muffler stinging out of his ass or whatever.

And then they come out and they start beating up Kevin Owens.

And then the street profits hit and fight the bloodline.

And we go to the break.

And then when we come back, we have a bell

for a six-man tag team match anyway.

So there's a

somebody ought to do a tabulation on one week of just both big companies' television shows, how many fights in the back are there?

And involving how many people?

Because it's just, why not just have done this to begin with

with these guys instead of do that angle?

Or do you think, did somebody get fired in between Seg 2 and Seg 7?

I don't know if it was that.

I don't think it was that.

Well, you never know what people might hear on hidden microphones anymore.

Anyway,

is a six-man tag.

Ford is a great leaper.

You can tell KO is getting lazy at the small stuff.

I don't think his heart's in it.

Tonga Loa stands around on the floor a lot.

I mentioned again, Jacob Fatu needs to really, in my notes here, is where I mentioned it myself.

Less on the head butts.

He did like five of them

in a row at one point.

And I don't care if you're Samoan or not, if you're really hitting somebody that hard, you got to register your own.

But, you know,

they went through a big,

you know, back and forth finish, and the people were liking it.

And everybody, you know,

hit all their shit and did dives and things.

And then the referee rang the bell for the double disqualification.

But Fatu,

again, which is is basically what I watched for and then kind of looked down when anybody else was in,

continues to look incredible with that minor

headbutt criticism I made, and they're using him right.

And then finally, Cody comes out with a chair when Jacob's beating up everybody.

And he nails the tongas and does a cutter on Fatu.

And then as Cody pops up, Orton picks up the chair and is behind Cody.

But Cody turns and offers his hand out, and Owens drops the chair and shakes his hand.

But the tease is always there.

Why I ought to.

Should I, should I?

But I don't think he will.

I think that way when Orton does,

they'll have lulled us into a false sense of security.

I could be wrong, but I never have been.

It's probably one of those Ricochet things where Ricochet got laid out by Bron Breaker and was like left open.

Like, you can return from the ambulance taking you away if you're resigned.

Otherwise, they'll never see you again.

And with Owens, it's, yeah, you can get something big like that.

Otherwise, we're just going to keep teasing it.

And then, you know, Orton or someone will squash him before he leaves.

But you know what?

You just mentioned.

Well, you can return from the ambulance that carried you out.

But in this case, the way Tony Kahn did it,

he switched places.

You can return from sending our top guy out in a fucking ambulance.

Well, that was SmackDown.

It certainly was.

And you know what?

Sometimes

the SmackDown audience, I heard they're down another,

what, couple hundred thousand because of the switch to USA from network television, right?

After the debut episode, I think this past Fridays that we just talked about, they were down a little bit more.

In the 1.4 range.

They're probably going to have given up about 500,000 people with the switch from cable to broadcast.

Is that what you're hearing?

That's what I'm hearing.

And, you know, I don't think it was reasonable to expect the 1.7 they got last week for the first episode would be week two.

I don't know if they expected this kind of drop.

It doesn't sound bad to me.

If they'd have gone to 900,000, that would have been.

This is kind of where I thought they would end up in this range.

And,

you know, we'll see as things heat up for certain times of the year how that increases.

Also, with less wrestling on the USA network next year,

will that do anything to affect this number?

And with Raw going to Netflix, it's going to be a whole new kind of number we're looking at.

Yeah, but, you know, right now, again, if they did 1.7

last week and 1.

high 1.4 or whatever, almost 1.5 this week, the second week.

If they drop again to 1.3 or 1.2 the next week, then I might start worrying a bit if it doesn't immediately snap back because I think the people now have figured out it's moved

because they did a lot of publicity in that hot first show.

They got most of the audience that they had on network.

And Fox actually let them say it on the air.

Yeah.

So now it just depends on how many, you know, fewer people overall that would watch it.

Don't have

USA or whatever anymore, but they're going to have

they're going to have plenty of options of places to watch the WWE, Netflix and CW and USA

and the fillings in your teeth.

Everything will pick these programs up.

But the main thing is, Brian, if you don't know where to watch them, you're not going to be able to see them.

So that means that all of us good wrestling fans, we should get on the telephone and call somebody and tell them where they can see the smack being layeth downeth

and the raw being

rubbed raw, all the changes and everything.

Call your friends.

You know, it can be done almost for free now, phone calls.

Really?

Almost for free, you say.

Almost for free.

Well, you got to pay to have the phone, but you don't have to pay per call anymore.

You don't have to drop a quarter in the pay phone, or you don't have to pay long distance charges now.

Did you know that?

Are you aware of that?

They've done away with long distance.

I was amazed when I heard about that last week.

Last week.

Well, I have heard.

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You've heard that.

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I have heard of this, but I don't have to worry about that because of Mint Mobile.

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So Brian, before we talk about Raw, what in the world is going on in the Arcadian Vanguard network world this week?

You know, there's so much going on and I feel so crummy today.

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All right.

Well, let's hit a few high points of raw for heaven's sake.

You want to get high?

Well, no, Tally.

Ontario, California has a lot of nerve taking Ontario, Canada's name and being abbreviated almost exactly the same way.

You know, a lot of people in the old days, before they had GPS, a lot of people would have gone to Canada to make this shot.

You realize that, don't you?

When they say void in Ontario, I'm always confused.

Well,

and if this had been the Vince McMahon era, they would have still said,

we're in Los Angeles or we're in Hollywood or we're in Beverly Hills or something.

They wouldn't have said Ontario.

But I guess they got big arenas out there everywhere now.

This thing,

did they tell us that the show was going to become two hours for a while?

When is that going to happen?

Yeah, we did hear that.

I think it's coming up soon for the remainder of their run on USA at least.

Soon?

I don't know when.

Soon.

You know,

like I would have watched the second match, and we'll get to it in a second.

But it's a three-hour fucking show, people.

I've got a life.

I have things that I have to do, such as breathing and bathing every once in a while.

And it just gets, it's so long.

It's so long.

But

what a start to the fucking thing.

You're making me a Liv Morgan fan.

I still don't ever want to see her wrestle, but that nails on a chalkboard, chalk, chalkboard,

what I'm trying to say.

The chalkboard.

Yeah, that thing.

Nails on the chalkboard voice, the

just the

this whole thing is so

childish, but yet fascinating because Rhea Ripley is involved, and Liv and Dominic are these two fucking annoying heel fucking idiots that,

you know,

yeah,

it shouldn't be any good, but it is.

Is that what I'm trying to say?

I don't know why it shouldn't be any good.

It's been great from the moment they put her with Dominic Mysterio.

It's been working and

I think they're really good at this.

Well, when she speaks, my ears bleed, as I mentioned about lovely Liv, But these two come out, Liv and Dom, and they cut.

And by the way, they come in in the low rider and they walk through the back, and Bronson Reed and Brown Strongman are fight past them.

More on that in a moment from last week and this week.

But they did, and then a bunch of people run after them.

And then Dominic and Liv walk straight into the arena and do the entrance.

Again, the camera work and the timing and the shot blocking.

It's insane these days.

And all Liv has to do is come out there and

whine like that and say that she took from Rhea, she took the women's title, she took Judgment Day, and she took the most gorgeous man in the world, Dominic Mysterio.

And then Rhea's music plays and out she comes and she's super over.

And she looks like a fucking superstar.

And she said, don't worry, Liv, I'm I'm not going to hit you, but I just want to tell you.

And mommy chance start.

And Dominic starts to step up and she tells him to get out of the fucking way.

And Liv cuts the promo, I'm going to beat you because I'm smarter than you are.

Because I've been beating your knee up, and you're going to have to say that you're not cleared, and blah, blah, blah.

And Rhea says, Well, I came out here to tell you

my knee is good and I am cleared.

And by the way, Dominic, you're going to be there when i take my women's title back

high above the ring in a shark cage a shark cage

i don't know with her with her accent it sounded like a shark cage

and he was going to be shitting his pants but then old wade barrett i believe cleared it up a shark cage

Why can't they just say hanging over the ring in a small cage?

It might be easier for her to say.

because sharks hadn't come up at least on AEW one time.

It was shark week, right?

I think so, yeah, because they've done that a few times.

Shark week, so people weren't thinking of sharks, but nevertheless,

the

people like that.

And then,

and then Maria Ripley said, and by the way, what I said before, I take it back.

And she hit butts Liv and knocks her out.

That looked good.

Yes, it did.

And Liv sold it good.

Yes, she she did.

Everything here was good.

Yes, it was.

You are correct, sir.

Yes, sir.

See, now I'm Ed McMahon.

It's all downhill from here.

I don't know where it's going.

It's all downhill from here, but no, but it was a great promo.

Again, Rhea Ripley is not the biggest female star in the business.

She's one of the biggest stars in the business, period.

And Dominic still has kept his heat.

And they're mad at Liv because she's the shrewish little mean girl that is, you know, messing with Rhea.

So anyway, we started off good.

You know, it's interesting to stop for a second and just talk about something we talked about years ago

when Dominic Mysterio was first being used as a wrestler, as a smiling babyface with his dad, when Rey Mysterio's contract was coming up.

And he had to decide WWE or AEW.

And part of the discussion was, you know, where's Dominic going going to go with his dad?

And we looked at Dominic against, not against, but compared him to a hook in terms of where they were at the same time at one time and Sammy Guevara, maybe two.

Look at the job Dominic Mysterio has done in WWE

to become a heel.

He's kind of like Michael Hayes.

He may not be, you know, Buddy Rogers in the ring,

but he knows how to be a heel.

Yes, and he works like he looks and he

presents himself like he looks.

What we've said before, these guys on the other side, they've concocted in their heads how they want to come off, but they don't look like it.

And he looks like a chicken shit dip shit that gets heat like this.

And that's why he's a bigger star than anybody they've got.

It's understanding what

you can do on purpose to make work for you.

Yeah, go ahead.

If he had gone to AEW, if Rey Mysterio had signed with AEW and Dominic had gone there with him, just think of how different the career trajectory would have been if he had been on Dynamite every week instead of having his character develop over the last few years.

His career trajectory on Dynamite would have looked like Wall Street in October of 29.

But anyway,

what do you think of them booking the match?

Just one last thing on this.

Lib versus Rhea with Dominic in a shark cage above the ring.

Well, I like that because that way he can be up there making scared faces and trying to yell down advice to Liv when she needs it that she can't hear because people are screaming because he's trying to talk.

They won't, I mean, they'll still have a match, but they won't really need to.

It's fucking, it's gold there, and he's a sitting duck if Rhea wants to fuck with him.

What's he going to throw down, right?

You have to throw something down if you're in a cage above the ring.

Well, you don't always.

You don't always.

It depends on how long they want to keep this going,

but

you know, potentially the

what kind of foreign objects does Liv use?

I mean, I'm not trying to ask in a filthy type of way.

I don't think she's established any specific, like she doesn't have a sledgehammer or nothing.

Well, in that case, then, you know, maybe he can slip down some type of marital age she keeps in her purse.

I don't know.

And then you just go that direction anyway.

Yeah, well,

anyway, I'm moving along here now, though, because the next match was a point I want to make real quick.

It was Sami Zayn

versus Ludwig Kaiser.

And I would have liked to have watched this, but it's still, we're 15 minutes into a three-hour show, and I don't know what the fuck's going.

I'm trying to hit the high points and get the

major news, right?

But both those guys are good.

And Kaiser has really been fantastic lately.

And they had a good match, and the fans loved it.

And

Sammy hit the kick and got the big pop, one, two, three.

And so that was, and then Gunther comes out and again teases

giving Sammy a world title shot right there in River City or whatever.

And then, you know, the way he twisted around, but it, but no.

But they did something, what was it, last week or two weeks ago that we skipped over.

That was either when I had poisoned myself or it was my birthday or something happened.

Or all of the above.

Or all of the above.

But they did a segment with Sammy and Gunther and Bret Hart when they were in Calgary.

And that ties into this because they've been doing the deal where Sammy wants a world title match.

And

Gunther keeps teasing him that he's finally going to give it to him.

But no, but no.

And they worked that into a deal where in Calgary they brought Brett out and then Gunther came out and confronted him.

And

one of the greatest lines ever, and Gunther has that dried delivery.

He's a fucking German stand-up comic if he wants to be.

Austrian.

Whatever.

Same part of the world.

But he said he put Brett over and how great he was.

And he did this and he did that.

He said, Brett Hart, I think you're great.

You're only second only to my all-time favorite wrestler, Bill Goldberg.

You know what?

The real tribute was that he didn't just say Goldberg.

He said Bill Goldberg.

Yeah, Bill Goldberg, yeah.

But the point is, when Sammy came out

and then, you know, was defending Brett in terms of, you know, verbally, he hadn't attacked Brett or anything, but but he's defending him verbally.

And then Sammy and Gunther got in a fight.

Here's the point I'm making: between what they did here

and what they're doing with Sammy and Gunther and

et cetera.

Sammy Zane,

for quite a few years there, when they were indie-riffic darlings, old El Generico was the sidekick of Kevin Steen, who was the fat loudmouth that always had something to say.

And, you know, and that's where they were in the pecking order in the minds of the indie wrestling fans.

I think Sami Zayn is more important to the WWE than Kevin Owens is right now.

I think longer term, he's got more upside.

The people like him in a more genuine way rather than just cheering because he cannonballs his fat ass into people's faces.

And he can,

at this point, I think his promos are better.

He's more motivated.

Who would tell me in 2012 which one is a better promo, Kevin Steen or El Generico?

It's obviously Sami Zayn.

Sami Zayn's the best everyman in wrestling.

Yes.

He pulls it off better than anyone else.

And he

tries, to me, watching as a viewer, he tries harder to do the best he can with material he's given than

Steen does two to one.

So I think he's more valuable to the company than Steen is.

And if they're going to give him

too many pronouns, pal, if they're going to give Steen millions of dollars to go play with his former friends or his current friends, former co-workers,

then I don't think that the WWE is going to

suffer that big of a loss with all the other names they get on the roster.

But Sammy fills a spot it would be hard to fill, is what I'm saying.

I agree.

Plus, if Sammy ever turns, heel,

if done right, it could be massive still.

Oh, good heavens.

If Owens turns, he's just turned again.

Owens doesn't turn as much as he molds.

Anyway, so then by the time that Gunther had turned down, given Sammy a match, we were 40 minutes into the show.

We got Carlito and Dragon Lee.

Dragon Lee won in a few minutes.

They must have been running late with something that I don't know if it was fucked up or not.

I couldn't tell.

Did you see Miz and Cross had a heartfelt conversation in a room filled with reproductions of old vintage wrestling posters that had been put on a color Xerox machine and taped to the wall with duct tape?

What the fuck was that about?

You know, I don't know because I think the previous segment drove me off to take a break because I didn't see that and I didn't see this.

Well, they actually, it was old Atlanta Ringsider program covers that I remember seeing that looked like they were Xeroxed and stuck up with tape.

And then an old Carolinas

poster from the 70s that was also stuck up with tape in Miz's room.

He's noted for being a student of the classics.

Anyway, at 9 o'clock, we were ready to see the Miz versus Bronson Reed.

And of course, earlier in the night, they had done the deal where when Liz or Liz, Liv and Dominic

were coming in the arena, Bronson Reed and Brown Strongman had fought right past him and threw a knocked over a bunch of shit and continued on

because they got in a big fight last week on the program

and

just went back and forth, just hitting each other with shit and big moves and throwing security away and doing the whole nine yards.

And

I don't know, you seemed a little gleeful about it when I talked to you earlier about the backstage and through the arena fighting of the two behemoths these two giant guys and giant in different ways, so they look different out there fighting, starting with the brawl in the parking lot and the splash on the car.

And then last week, They went through a fake wall and it looked a lot better than the AEW fake walls.

Well, yes.

And just chaos, just people running around after them.

And there's something about it that I like.

And I'm actually looking forward to the match next week.

Well, yeah,

they've done a good job of building up this match.

The wall last week,

it was dry wall, but at least they went to the effort of putting some studs into the goddamn thing above where they crashed through.

There was still...

No stud for a six-foot fucking period and a goddamn wall, but they had studs above it it you could actually see.

And it was a wall at a place that needed to have a wall, right?

So they went the extra mile.

But that's what they did last week.

And then they did the homage to Kevin Sullivan and Black Jack Mulligan, who fought out the back door of the Eddie Graham Sports Stadium in Orlando that one week.

And the next week, during the first match, fought in the front door wearing the same shit.

And now they're basically

they're telling the story they're still going to fight because Miz gets in the ring and Bronson Reed tries to make his entrance and old Brown attacks him in the alleyway.

And then they just go back and forth and

they start running.

It's so preposterous that I actually kind of got entertained also.

They start running the security guys in and what did they have?

12 or 14 security guys out there.

And one of them will beat up or choke slam two or three and the other one will top rope or whatever, two or three.

And then they'll fight for a second.

Then they'll turn around and both together, they'll beat up another dozen security guards.

At one point, Brown Strongman dropkicked Bronson Reed in the upper thigh.

Did you see that flying dropkick?

I did.

He's a big man.

I liked last week's, I think, better that this one was a little preposterous because now it's becoming

a contest between bless their little pee-picking hearts, these security guys, their local indie wrestlers, obviously,

but it's becoming a bump-taking contest as to who can take the most even over-exaggerated bump for one of the monsters.

And the most action comes out of

the security guard, Ned Flanders from Springfield, who you never heard of before and will never see again.

Are you really wanting to see them have another fucking match?

I want to see.

I think the fans are going to be all amped up too for that match.

Let's see.

They need to be.

As a matter of fact, that's what they need to do at the front door.

When the fans are entering the arena, they need to pass out a baggie full of fucking meth to each one of them

to get them amped up to see that match.

They've had running security guards.

They've had parking operals and destroyed roofs of cars.

They've had.

walls that got destroyed.

They had turnbuckles ripped off because of just the mass force of being.

The mass force of being, the centrifugal fucking mass and girth of them.

I would have said that.

Contributing to the gravitational factor of the

centrifugal X.

And it's also the look of it.

Like, I don't know.

If Braun, not Braun, there's a lot of Brauns and Bronsons and

everyone with the same name all of a sudden.

Bronson Reed, if he was like 6'5,

I probably wouldn't be as interested.

But because he is a a big guy, but he looks different than Braun Strowman, who's a classic, I'm going to just inject this, whatever it is, kind of big guy.

You know, I kind of like the way it looks.

You're saying it's got to be a bowling ball against a fucking meathead.

I'm saying we've seen a lot of meathead versus meathead.

It's a nice change of pace.

It's a nice change of pace.

That's a meathead versus a fat ass is what you're saying.

Meathead versus meatball.

Alrighty then.

Nevertheless.

Are you looking forward to it now?

No.

No.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

Because it's just, it's a,

they're just doing stunts at this point.

And it, but it trying to have a match in the ring.

What's a monster, last monster standing match, so I'm sure they'll go through the arena again.

Yeah, monster.

Does Braun...

They did the mash.

They did the monster match.

I was about to say Braun, but that's Braun Breaker.

Bronson Reed, that's his name.

Uh-huh.

He has to go over, right?

I'd love him to.

I really would.

Because, I mean, the whole thing is about teasing Rollins' return.

Rollins just got pushed on the field at the NFL game over the weekend, so he's obviously getting close to return, I would think.

I thought he fell accidentally.

Well, nevertheless, uh-oh.

You hear that thunder?

We better pick up the pace here.

I might not be on the air much longer.

Mother Nature is moving in.

All right.

Drew McIntyre.

Do you hear that rain right now?

I did not hear it.

I thought that was a dramatic pause.

I didn't realize it was a dramatic pause with rain.

No, I said Drew McIntyre.

And then suddenly it was like rain on a tin roof suddenly.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain.

Telling me just what a fool I am.

Come on.

No one needs this.

Drew McIntyre did a promo, and they actually had some restraint on this three-hour program.

He came out with a game face on.

He recounted what Punk said last week about how I'm prepared for this to be the end of CM Punk.

And, you know, he's going to make Drew McIntyre bleed the whole nine yards.

And Drew

said that he wasn't happy about going into the hell in a cell either.

That everybody in Punk's family had begged him not to do it.

Well, everybody in his family had begged him not to do it.

But it doesn't matter what anybody thinks, it's going to happen.

And Drew says, I promise I'm going to make you bleed a lot.

And now they're setting expectations here.

I'm going to make you suffer pain.

I'm going to break you permanently into hell in a cell.

It wasn't a long drawn-out thing.

It wasn't Hollywood scripted where he had to tell some analogy or some old

chestnut be tied into a learning experience or whatever.

He came out like Punk did, And he was serious, and he cut a fucking promo.

He said, I'm going to fuck this guy up.

And he left.

I like that.

Yes, I liked it too.

You're waiting for the segment dealing with Punk and McIntyre.

This is the only thing there really was.

Well, because what else do they need to do at this point?

The time,

as Lucy said to Ricky Ricardo, the time has come.

You know, the match is at hand.

They can't go back and forth.

It's made already.

If anything, they do physically at this point is detrimental rather than beneficial.

So

Punk got his statement.

Now Drew's had his statement.

Everybody's still interested, and they want to see what's going to happen.

And so it's also refreshing not to have

Even however good Drew has been, another one of these 20-minute interview segments in this long show.

You know, Brian, this show was so long

about two-thirds of the way through, I realized I needed a good close shave again.

I had grown a beard in the first part of this program.

Has that ever happened to you?

Mid-program?

No.

No.

Wolfman, I don't know how that happened to you.

You've never just realized when you leaned your hand over on your chin that you'd grown a beard waiting for this program to be over and you had to make your face slick again

mid-show mid-show i didn't desire a slick face in the middle of the show no oh well you never know where that face is going to go pretty soon folks i'll tell you what if you suddenly need a slick face to stick somewhere that doesn't want to have anything to do with stubble and old prickly whiskers on your coal mining looking face Then you better hope that you're on a first name basis with our friend Harry.

Because

if you don't know Harry, well, then you won't be wild about Harry like we are because we're just wild about Harry.

Harry makes or causes to be made the best old razors at the cheapest prices that you're ever going to have.

It will give you the closest shaves from your sideburns all the way down your cheeks into your neckle area.

and back around to the other side again, plus up above your lips and underneath your nose and that little dented place in the middle, all of that place on you from now on is going to belong to Harry.

You're going to call Harry your daddy.

Oh, daddy, Harry, shave me, baby.

You know what?

It could just be a relationship where you get your great razors from Harry's.

Well, yes.

None of this is required.

And well, you're going to have to show the proper amount of respect.

Don't look Harry in the eye.

Here's another thing, folks.

A lot of these trial sets where the people say, well, we'll give you a trial kit and you tried our razor and our blades and our shaving gel and et cetera, they cost up to $13.

Well, that's the same thing that Harry's trial kit costs, unless you know somebody who knows Harry.

And I know Harry.

And if you know Harry like I know Harry, you'll know if you go to Harry's.com slash JCE,

you're going to get a $13 trial set for just $3.

That won't even buy you one

of these incredible German-engineered five-blade cartridges in a regular old grocery store or a possibly a dry goods place or someone who's a jack of all trades and sells used merchandise that's fallen off a truck.

You're not going to get that kind of deal anywhere except at Harry's.com.

The razor, the weighted ergonomically designed handle, the foaming shave gel, and a travel cover so you don't slice your fingertips for just $3 at Harry's.com slash JCE.

And then you can sign up for a convenient subscription option.

If you like it, they'll send it to you all the time.

You don't have to go outside

in the cold, cruel world or the horrible driving rainstorm

that has enveloped my home now.

Instead, they'll bring them right to your door.

And as a matter of fact, if you tip the mailman extra, he'll probably go ahead and stick them in your pocket for you while you're looking out to make sure that nobody knows you got them because they'll try to steal them from you.

People try to shoplift these Harry's

five-blade German-engineered cartridges right out of people's pockets.

It's in the news everywhere.

This has nothing to do with

it.

They ate this guy's dog the other day.

They ate this guy's dog, and then they picked his pockets from German-engineered Harry's blades.

Once again, let's let everyone know how they can get their Harry's.

Well, you can get your jollies one way or another, but you can only get your Harrys by going to Harry's.com slash JCE.

Get this trial set for $3,

and then make your own decision.

You're a grown adult.

We're not telling you what to do or not do with the hair on your own face, but somebody ought to tell you what to do about it because it's obviously not something you're keeping track of on your own.

Disgusting, disgusting-looking fucking people out there.

Clean yourselves up.

With Harry's.

Yeah.

And then once you take that hair, you can save it.

When you dry it out, you can make little crafts things with it.

Remember that

little kid's toy where you took the magnetic pencil and you put the little magnetic shavings and

made him like a mustache and a beard and comedy sideburns.

I used to try to give him crotch hair, but there was no magnet there in that area.

Yeah, then we showed his face.

He didn't have any pubic hair.

Well, I was trying to give him some down there, but they didn't have a magnet.

There was no down there, it was just the face, wasn't it?

Shoulders, maybe?

Well, yeah, well, I added it down there on with cardboard.

You had the deluxe edition of the magnetic naked man, whatever you're talking about.

See, with a marker and some cardboard, you can make his whole magnetic body.

Luckily, you don't have to think about any of this with Harry's one last time, Jim.

What's that promo code for the best razors razors you can get?

Harry's.com slash J C E.

Well, let's.

Yeah, well, let's.

Raw rolls on.

Raw is rolling on.

They had a girls' tag team match.

Yes.

Can I say something?

Yes.

Because you asked a few weeks ago.

This Joe Tessatori, if I am now pronouncing it.

He's growing on me.

He's growing on me, although at times he sounds downright somber.

When they come back to the commercial sometimes, it sounds like he's at a funeral.

See, I mentioned he's growing on me with his excitement level, but he is still,

he's running the gamut of emotions.

He's running the gamut of emotions from the thrill of victory to the agony of defeat.

He seems to have come into this with an eye toward being a performative

type of announcing fellow.

So, but he's growing on me.

Yo, and here's another thing.

Here's what's not growing on me.

They have Pierce book

Brown, Strongman, and Bronson Reed next week in the last monster standing match.

And then you hear people fighting and grunting,

and they run over with the camera to the, and there's Butch beating up Seamus with a cricket bat.

What did I just say?

Yeah, everybody's.

No, everybody's beating up everybody in the back to the point where when it is supposed to mean something, why does it mean anything?

It's like, oh, there's the popcorn guys.

One's got his fucking axe handle shoved up another guy's ass.

Here's a question.

Do you think they're going somewhere with this?

The idea that Nick Aldous has a nice and tidy SmackDown, and on Raw, there's just brawls breaking out all over the place, and Pierce has no control.

Well, he might not have a nice and tidy SmackDown.

We need somebody to do an analysis.

Is it more dangerous to be in the locker room and Raw or on SmackDown?

Definitely Raw.

Well, there's three hours, though.

How many locker room fights per hour is the average?

That's a more fair way to look at it.

And we can only be looking at it from the period of time they were both general managers.

Yes,

because otherwise it wouldn't be fair because the other general managers weren't as strict, possibly, as these people.

And then they had a girls' tag team match.

And then they played the tape of Cody and roman

filming their heist movie in in atlanta

and then they had the tag team match between the new day and the creeds i will just say this have you seen now what i'm talking about with the creeds that they do not

they may be excellent athletes

they may be wonderful

competitive amateur wrestlers.

They may be dedicated young men who both use their left and right turn indicator and say yes, sir, and no, sir, to the coaches.

But I cannot see any way in the world that they have been lifelong

or even

moderately long-time wrestling fans

because of the fact that if they're that great athletes, they don't know how this shit is supposed to look.

And it's awkward, and sometimes these things just don't work.

We won't give up on them just yet.

But between those nerdy,

hatchet-headed fucking blank faces they've got, and the fact that everything they do in a pro wrestling ring looks awkward in terms of how a pro wrestler would do it.

What are you seeing?

Are you seeing anything?

Everybody else, oh, the Creeds are great.

I haven't been terribly impressed.

At least they have nice outfits now, very patriotic, red, white, and blue.

Ivy Nile interests me because you can't look at her and figure out her age.

What?

You look at her, you're like, she could be 40.

She could be 30.

She could be 35.

You can't figure it out.

Well, just Google it.

I don't want to.

I like the mystery.

That's the point.

No, right now.

She's not 40.

I bet you she's not 30.

Really?

I bet you.

I bet you

she's 26 years old.

32.

What?

32 from Knoxville.

Well, you can't believe anything on Google, can you?

Well, maybe not.

All right.

Anyway, the main event time had come for Raw,

as it does for us all.

And I didn't think I was going to like this match, but I didn't think it was going to depress me

at the end.

They'd been milking it all night.

Jey Uso versus Braun Breaker for the Intercontinental title.

And they did the Jey Uso entrance through the arena.

Okay, I've got a lot of least favorites in AEW, but I'm now officially declaring Jey Uso is my least favorite top guy gimmick in wrestling.

It's all over, but I hate it.

I hate Yeet.

I hate that fucking

Ringling Brothers

outfit he's wearing with yeet on his arms and flower petals on his legs and fluorescent blue all over.

I hate his work, which has gone to hell

because of his hot doggery, which is

not only over the top, but also

it seems to me

to be hard to work with because of the timing of his hot doggery is just

a step behind the beat or maybe a musician would know better, a step off, whatever.

I don't like any of this.

Am I over-exaggerating any of these cases?

Well, you're consistent.

You have been pretty open about your not liking any of the Jey Uso stuff for quite a while.

And obviously, if there was any match that was going to trigger you, it would be this match.

Notwithstanding, I mean, it was a good match.

I could see why the finish would trigger you.

Well, but I'm talking about am I overstating the case on Jey Uso?

Yes, I'm admitting he's over.

The people like it, they like the entrance, they like the yeet,

blah, blah, blah.

But his work, blah,

his look, blah, the outfit, bleh.

And then I'm watching this.

It looked to me like Braun Breaker was the veteran heel trying to lead a green babyface through the heat.

The way that Braun sells makes

Jay's kind of weak shit look better.

And when Braun was in control with the heat and methodically picking him apart, it was slow, but then they'd have a burst.

But he's got a great heel attitude and heel aggression.

And he's got the athletic moves that he does.

And, you know, Uso is not selling like Riggie Morton.

He's selling,

but he's not setting,

you know, a standard of like, wow, look how good that fucking guy is for his short time in the business.

They've been doing this 15 years now, right?

So Braun is the, he's a better-looking athlete.

He's a better worker.

He's got better personality.

And yes, I know one's a heel, one's a babyface.

I'm saying in terms of anything I'm looking for in a money-drawn

athlete in a wrestling business, Braun

has more of it than Uso, except Uso's been put in the bloodline spot, which is what propelled him to be over on his own.

And

when Uso makes a comeback, it's with rotten punches that a big stud like Braun has to sell and that bogus yeet shit.

where you got to stand there interminably while he does his dipsy doodle and hits you again.

And boy, now all the guys today know how it felt when they had to stand there for Dusty's flip-flop and fly.

But,

I mean, that was the thing.

Uso barely hit a Samoan drop at one point where he didn't really have control of Braun and they just went down.

And then Braun outshined him with the Brekensteiner off the top.

And then they traded big two counts.

The people were into it.

But finally,

Braun had speared him on the floor at one point.

He went to do it again and ran into a super kick.

And then Uso speared him through the barricade and then threw him in the ring and speared him there and then splashed him off the top one, two, three.

So now Jay Uso is the new Intercontinental title or champion.

And Braun Breaker only had it like two months.

And yes, I know he's got a long way to go.

And I'm sure they're prepared for this

moment with what to do with him next.

But

everybody popped and loved the finish.

I did not share the enthusiasm.

Big pop, massive pop.

Huge pop.

I don't.

Jey Uso is possibly the biggest tribute.

to modern WWE booking that even he is that over.

Because

if he hadn't been in this bloodline thing, just the work or the look or the promos,

it's like fucking R-Truth kind of

underneath comedy filler in the back pre-tape shit.

Well, you know, there's always a guy and they come in different forms that get over with the people and it doesn't match the work.

You know, from the Ultimate Warrior to maybe to some of us who were first exposed to Jimmy Valiant when he was the boogie woogie man, you know, not early boogie woogie man, but late boogie woogie man.

You know, there are certain guys, you can't explain it, they have a connection.

Obviously, he's peaking right now with it.

I wish I didn't have to peak.

The idea of beating Braun Breaker right now was one of the big surprising things, I guess.

That was, you know,

I don't know why that they needed to beat Braun at that point.

And I wish that they would have given Jay another big win and just don't beat fucking Braun.

But, and also, I'm not looking forward to,

think about this, the Intercontinental title's now gone from Gunther.

Ended up with Braun Breaker.

At least you could count on wow matches with Gunther and a wow performance with really good matches from Braun.

Now you get the Intercontinental title is Jey Uso.

And Sammy had it too.

Well, but I'm, you know, sammy yes he was a great worker also but i'm talking about

new young guys you got gunther really go you got brawn it can really go you got jeyusa

we're not going to be looking forward to those matches

well we'll see how many of those matches they are there are not they are

my phone is going off these goddamn politicians keep spamming me these goddamn politicians how'd they get your number i don't know Did you go around passing around your business card again, telling them they ought to advertise on the Arcadian Vanguard network?

Why don't we move on?

We could just move on with the show now.

What was next on SmackDown?

Well, that wasn't SmackDown.

That was Raw, and that was it.

That was all she wrote, as Mama Cornette used to say.

That was the end of the show.

Do you think with Jey Uso, there's a touch of that

he deserves it because he's been here a very long time and never held a singles title, so we got to do this.

Boy, you know, if it was an OVW and I'd say, yeah, that guy's been a really good student and maybe we ought to reward him or whatever.

But no, at this level, at this fucking level of money and television and viewership and what fuck him and is what he deserves.

Geez, you really do hate him, though.

Well, no, for anybody.

I wouldn't put it at that level.

I wouldn't put a belt on anybody.

Just go, they've been around and they haven't had it.

They deserve it.

They mean good guys don't fuck that

jesus christ no you don't do that

at the at the local cable access level that's a wonderful thing to do but not at that level

well that level was wwe raw well would you like me to tell you something on the level please i'm out of things to talk about should we close it up so we can go watch some vince mcmahon documentary and come back and talk more about this heinous individual that we're going to have to watch six hours of Deep Dark Mysteries on?

Real quick before we go, survey, quick survey between us.

Yes.

Do you think this is going to take him to task, or do you think this is going to be too light on him?

From everything that I am, the feeling I'm getting from everything that I'm hearing people say,

I don't think this is going to be very easy on old Vince.

And we've heard people say it's a burial.

Maybe that was to,

you know, get

expectations up or, you know, stir up the pot.

But now Vince is already coming out.

Well, the editing and, oh,

I think they're going to be stiff with Uncle Vince.

You know, we're focusing on the sexual,

it's not sexual harassment, sexual trafficking and all these issues with Vince.

The component of that.

But even just the business stuff.

Like, if it's a real documentary looking at things, the good and the bad, do you talk about the shit he did in the 80s?

Are they going to talk about how he fucked over Crockett promotions?

Well, see, I think that that's stuff that he would actually, in his mind, be proud of.

And maybe he'll, you know, phrase it, it's a do or die business, or if they hadn't, if I hadn't done it to them, they'd have done it to me, or, you know,

whatever.

But he would like that stuff known about him, that he was a ruthless businessman.

If you get a billion dollars unless you inherit it or you get it all at one time, you have to be a fucking asshole because

who that would have a hundred million dollars would goddamn put up with the grief it would take to get to the billion?

Only somebody that wanted to

be ruthless and win everything.

So I think Vince would consider that a compliment.

I'm not ruthless and I like a billion dollars, but I also want to develop different things like hologram Marks Brothers and stuff.

Well, yeah, and also you say you'd like a billion dollars, but you ain't got it yet.

I'm trying

by the time

you might decide that before you get there that it ain't worth the goddamn aggravation.

I'm hoping I may trip in front of Tony Khan's motorcade, and then I get sue.

The point I'm making to you, Brian last, if you would let me, the point I'm making to you is that I believe this will be awful stiff on old Vince to coin some type of a phrase.

I don't think they're going to treat him nice at all.

Like, do you think there'll be ominous music?

Oh, there's got to be ominous music.

There's ominous music in everything.

Do you think we'll hear about other accusers?

Other than Janelle Grant?

What?

By name, that word none has existed before?

By name?

In some type of revelation?

I don't think.

Any details that aren't publicly available already about any of his accusations?

Or any of the accusations against him?

Well,

or the things that he said about other people.

There may be some

things that we don't know about some

cases that we know generics about this NDA or that NDA, but I don't think they're going to out anybody's identity that is not already known.

But

we may be able to figure out a couple of people that might

either not be as loyal to Vince or might not be as against Vince as we thought they were based on what they might say in this thing.

That might be fun to figure out.

But overall, I think it's going to be six hours of this is one of the weirder fucking guys that ever walked the planet.

And we just got to figure out which parts they focus on.

Well, we will focus on it on the drive-through.

Yes, we will.

And that's your program.

And since you're sick, there's no reason for me to keep you any longer.

Four hours is enough.

So thank you very much for stopping by.

And everybody else, thank you very much for listening.

And we'll do more of this, but even better next time, we promise.

Until then, thank you.

Fuck you.

Bye-bye, everybody.