Episode 544: Jim Reviews SummerSlam

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Like the midnight and the rock and roll, he's in a fight for wrestling soul.

Using a racket and some mind control.

He's Jim Cornish.

The keys to the future, held by the past.

And with Tag T partner Bariah Last, he sends this message out by podcast.

He's Jim Cornish.

Well, he's never fake a phony.

He never backs down from a fight.

He never wins the pony.

Cause his mama raised him right.

It's time

to prepare

your mind.

Get the experience.

Get the experience.

Get the experience of Jim Cornette.

Hello again, everybody, and welcome to a special edition of the Jim Cornette Experience.

It's the SummerSlam Report.

Roman's back, and Solo's gonna be in trouble.

Hala, Hala, Roman's back.

And other stuff happened, too.

And you've heard him in the background joining me to talk about this and more.

Hawaii and Brian, the podcasting lion, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network, Mr.

Co-host to you.

He's everybody's BFF bossy fucking friend, the great Brian Last, everybody.

Hello, Hajim.

A pleasure to be here once again.

I wouldn't call myself bossy.

You, I guess, are the embodiment of a all-white girl vocal group of the 50s or 60s.

Wait a minute.

An all-white girl?

I'm the embodiment

of an all-white.

I said vocal group of the 50s.

There was a pause.

Well,

I was putting my words words together in proper form.

We're in proper order here today.

Just let them flow.

No, no, just let them flow.

Just scatter them out there to the winds, baby, like you're shooting craps in Vegas.

Just fling those words out there.

Hey, box cars, big Bennies.

Oh, boy, here we are again.

I'm going to tell you what.

Just right now at the top of the program,

I'm trying to be in a good mood, and you tickled my taint a little bit right before we went on the air.

Well, I mean,

in a verbal sense,

you know, because we're far apart.

We are now here at New Jersey and Kentucky.

But

it's actually, what is, is that the official, the way the restraining order came out?

We've got to stay at least this far apart.

It's about 700 miles, whatever.

Anyway,

I'm trying to be in a good mood because if you heard the drive-through that we did, that's probably been released before this show will be released because we've already done it, whereas we're just starting this one.

I've had a run of stressful luck lately, and the estimate to drag this 30-ton

former tree out of my goddamn backyard and do all of the other things.

that need to be done after the latest fucking catastrophe of Mother Nature has entered five figures.

But

there's some things, and I'm doing my pen again here today

for you there.

Just see, I'm going to put that down right now before you start complaining about that.

Snapping like a glass.

I got a 1950s all-girl white

group

with a with a playing with a pen cover.

Hala, yeah, let's go.

Hala, hala.

Anyway, we'll put the cover on that.

Duda.

So, but other things in town are perplexing me.

Before we talk about the wrestling, can we just branch off into everyday life for a minute here?

Brian, just you and me and the

nearly countless.

I mean, I'm sure there's a number for y'all out there, the cult of Cornette listeners, the people, but they're nearly countless.

You could count them eventually.

It'd take a while.

But can we just talk about everyday life for a couple of minutes?

And let me, not only is my life been stressful here, but also the news in Louisville, Kentucky, just things are just weird, things are happening.

And it started with me the other day when, in the midst of all, actually, yesterday, now that I come to think about it, it seems so long ago.

Yesterday,

all my troubles came piling down on top of my head like a big bunch of diarrhea from a giraffe.

So in the middle of all of this other, every, and by the way, to let everybody know again, Stacey's mother's feeling better after her procedure.

Stacy's feeling better after her dental surgery.

Harley is feeling better

after her bad allergy attack that gave the little baby the coughs this past week.

Everybody's feeling better except me.

I'm kind of constant.

I never particularly feel that good or bad either way.

But in the middle of all of the natural disasters and the other things that's been happening, I had committed, I'd told this fellow, this fellow that runs this handyman operation

to have him come over and paint the fence.

It's been five years.

The birds have shit on the fence

and

the weed whackers have eaten it up at the bottom and

there's some peelage going on and I just fuck it.

I've wanted to spruce up the front fence.

It ain't going to affect my standard of living.

At least it wasn't before

the latest round of natural catastrophe.

And then paint the fence.

I said, I'll get to paint because we got all this.

We're using all the same shade of brown around here.

Brown, the front fence, the back fence, the house paint, where indeed it is painted brown.

It's all the same shade.

So it gives us some consistency here.

I like consistency.

And so, since I have not had the chance to, and they're coming this week, allegedly,

I'm going to, I just figure I'll go right over here to Sherwin Williams.

You've heard of Sherwin Williams, right?

He covers the world with paint.

He's up here in the Northeast, yes.

Well, he's everywhere.

I don't know where he is.

I can just verify he's here.

Well, he's got, he is, he gets around.

I'm telling you.

You see,

people all over the world, I'm sure, will recognize because that is their, what used to be their slogan when I was a kid.

We cover the world with paint.

A bucket of paints being poured over the fucking world

so Sherwin Williams and it's the Sherwin Williams color in their little color fucking thing that they give out that we get so I go to the Sherwin-Williams store that's two miles over here from my from my palatial estate that's falling down around my ears

just to buy five gallons of fucking paint from Sherwin Williams

I didn't think that was too much to ask and not even take a bucket of the paint And even though, and this is a loophole that will come into play later,

the last time that I got something painted around here, people were painting it, they bought the paint at Lowe's.

But it's Sherwin-Williams, goddamn, you know, the

color, and it has it on the barcode thing on it.

So I take the whole bucket.

I say, hey.

I walk into the store, and here comes Sherwin, walks up to greet me.

Good morning.

Good morning.

I'd like to buy five gallons of paint right here of this kind.

And he looks at it.

He said, well, we don't have that kind.

I said, well, it's your color.

He said, yes.

I said, well, we got this from Lowe's, but since it's your color, just give me the same kind of thing.

And instead of the Lowe's, what is this?

Coke and Pepsi.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

I'm not

an experienced paint purchaser, Brian.

So I don't really, I've just asked.

I've walked into Sherwin Williams' store and I'm talking to Sherwin and I want some paint in his color, one of his colors.

Well, he's not Sherwin.

It's just you're calling anyone who works there.

No, he did.

No, he had it right on his goddamn shirt.

Right on his, he had his name on his shirt, Sherwin Williams.

So I'm talking to him.

He happened to be in that day.

It was actually convenient for me.

I could talk to the boss.

Anyway, I said, give me five gallons of whatever you have.

It's like that.

Well, we don't have anything like that.

I said,

Sherwin-Williams.

This is your

way.

He said,

well, see, they got this at Lowe's, and we have a collaborative effort with Lowe's to provide them with these colors.

But then basically, he tells me that I don't have any paint that good.

I only have paint that'll take two coats.

This is paint where it'd take one coat.

This is the, I told him I want the big, heavy-duty, top-of-the-line outdoor exterior paint, whatever the fuck.

And apparently,

they don't have the top of the line, outdoor, exterior, whatever the fuck, paint.

They got paint that's only middle of the line, you got to paint it twice.

And I said to him, I said, but Sherwin,

you're Sherwin fucking Williams.

You're telling me

that Lowe's has better quality paint than you do.

And he kind of stood there and humming it, humming it.

I said, Jesus fucking Christ.

So I came back home because Lowe's is too far.

But is that that?

What has the world come to

when Sherwin fucking Williams, the best shit they got is middle grade?

I ask you.

Who owns it now?

Is it the same owners that had it 40 years ago?

Or is it some

fun that bought it, loaded it with debt, and now they got nothing?

No, he didn't look like that old of a fucking guy.

I'm sure he's.

But the point is...

Again, he had Sherwin-Williams on his shirt, so I'm blaming Sherwin-Williams.

But if you want paint

that you can't see through,

Apparently you need to go to Lowe's instead of, or anyplace else, I guess, instead of Sherwin Williams.

Just a word to the wise out there.

If you're thinking about painting anything,

don't talk to Sherwin.

Was this unique to this one store?

They don't carry what you're looking for.

I don't know.

It's just applied.

They have a big sign over their goddamn store that's in this little,

what do they call it?

Mall or strip mall of stores side by side.

Well, not a shopping mall.

What do they call those things things in town, eh?

No,

the strip mall.

The stores are say you pull in the parking lot and the stores are side by side and there's a whole row of them.

There's like eight or ten in a row.

That's a shopping center or a strip mall area or a place of business or whatever.

They're in one of those stores.

They got a big sign.

Over their front door, it says Sherwood Williams.

It lights up in the dark.

I'll have you know, I've seen it.

And when you walk in, there's all kinds of paint cans and a bunch of fucking colors of shit on the wall that you can pick out from.

That to me indicates that they should be open for business with everything they fucking got, or they shouldn't tease us and tantalize us.

Joe, no, we just got the rotten shit here.

You'll have to go

over to fucking Bardstown to get the good shit.

What the?

Well, the other thing is they are in business.

So does this just barely?

Does this mean that

I was the only one in there when I walked in?

Does this mean that no one is asking for this kind of paint except you?

Apparently,

but

it's not,

I don't think I didn't ask for any kind of goddamn paint concocted overseas with a special gold lining and sent here on fucking eagle's wings.

I said, give me the best quality long that when I bought this paint that I've been using.

And the people painting things bought the paint that I've been using, I said, get the best quality, longest-lasting outdoor paint that you'd paint siding or a fucking fence with.

And that's what they got.

And apparently, Sherwin Williams,

this big noted paint fucking guy.

I'm just telling you, Sherwin, I'm letting people know about this.

What kind of name is Sherwin yeah

his what was his mother had a lisp and she couldn't pronounce Sherman

that wasn't what I was thinking but that could be an option

maybe she has mama cornette you say she was hair-lipped

anyway

Here's another thing that I heard about happened here in Louisville, Kentucky, Brian, and I just wanted to let people know about this.

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen on the local news.

A couple days ago actually made me giggle in my moments of trials and tribulations.

There is a pediatrician in this town

that, and they showed the outside of her clinic, and it was like,

it was like a kids are us,

toys are us kind of thing.

Kids R Us.

Toys R Us kind of writing on the kids clinic or whatever the name of it was.

Well, Kids R Us was a thing too.

That was a kids' clothing store.

Okay, well, maybe I've seen it, but the point is, you know, the kind of kiddie-type writing across the front, hello, kids' clinic, or whatever, or the name of their place.

And it looked very, it could have passed for a daycare center, right?

They're really catering to the children.

I guess you could be a pediatrician to treat people up to the age of what, 16 or 18, or but they're going for the younger audience at this clinic.

It looked like from their front door, right?

And this pediatrician,

and I've seen the, I saw the initial start of this case, but now it's been resolved, we think.

But

this pediatrician was just sent to prison.

This woman looks like she's in her 40s, I guess,

for hiring a hitman to kill her husband

while she was operating

or working at or part of this fucking kid's

medical clinic.

And

the way that this unfolded was that people started noticing that something was awry

when she started asking people she worked with at the medical clinic if they knew anybody that might be able to kill her husband for her.

Just out in the open.

That raised...

the first suspicion.

Hey, you know, I was thinking, if you could pass those fries, do you know anyone that could kill kill my husband?

Like, how do you ask multiple people that?

But that is

the report, she began asking people that she were, hey, you know, anybody that might be able to kill my husband for me.

And they're like,

no, you know, we really don't know anything about that.

And so then apparently, now with that the whole thing has come out and then they've had the court case and trial and the whole nine yards, apparently then she started looking online.

uh there was some mention of she was looking for a witch doctor that could cast a death spell online so she's like making up code at first maybe so she's obviously a genius um but then

she finally finds somebody

And say, yeah, I'll do it for like $7,500, I think.

So again, you know, your deal, because I would think you'd need to pay a significant amount more to have a really professional operation come in and take care of it.

But she made up some more code language to get this guy to, but this guy,

guess because of the apparently the noise that she had made already, this guy that agreed to do it turned out to be an FBI informant.

Yeah, I'll do it, lady.

Let's work this out.

And she works it out with the fucking FBI informant to hire him to kill her husband.

And then they hauled her into

the crossbar hotel, as Bill Watts used to say, and

put a case together against her.

And they've gone to trial.

And she was said, I think the sentence was 12 years or whatever.

But at least the story has

somewhat of a happy ending.

Because Brian, guess what?

The first thing she did when she got in jail was.

I don't know.

She started asking her other inmates if they knew anybody who could kill her husband for.

Stop it.

Come on.

They reported this on the goddamn local news.

That's amazing.

So

her husband's still a little nervous, even with her in jail for 12 years.

Nervous, and you can understand why, but can you also imagine how bad it must hurt?

It's not just your wife wanted you dead.

The cops come, they talk to you, they tell you what's going on.

And how much did she offer to pay them?

$100,000?

No, no, no.

$50,000.

No, no.

Did she offer him jewelry or anything from the kitchen?

No, no, no.

$7,500.

$7,500.

Well, see, it's all his fault.

He should have been more successful and given her a bigger household budget.

But anyway, so...

Nice to meet you.

You don't even want to kill my husband?

As soon as she gets to prison, it doesn't stop.

And they had her, her lawyer

was on camera, right?

They asked, does this,

I can't remember what the woman said, but does this woman,

Dr.

Chaos here, do you think she needs some type of counseling or, you know, psychological evaluation, whatever, some work done here?

And the guy says, oh, yeah,

I think that, yes, after everything that she's been through with this arrest and trial and what she's looking at in the fiesta, she definitely needs some.

Overlooking them because she apparently didn't need any when she was asking everybody in town if they knew anybody would kill her husband for her.

How are you doing, Susie?

You know, just can't find a good hitman these days.

You know, anyone,

you know, Fred never asked for a second cup of coffee.

Would you like to put a bullet in his brain?

There's some crazy people out there.

And one more thing I got to bring you up to date on.

It's a sad update.

And just a quick little story here.

You can't even rest in peace anymore.

Brian, when I bring up the name Denny Crumb, you know who I'm talking about.

We've talked about him many times.

Yes.

You just can't elaborate on who.

I'll tell everybody who he is again, in case you've forgotten.

A Hall of Fame

basketball coach with the University of Louisville for 30 years, one of the winningest coaches of all time, protege of the legendary John Wooden at UCLA,

a beloved,

probably the most popular man in the city of Louisville throughout his life and over his retirement through the last 20, whatever fucking years, passed away last year.

We talked about it.

And now they just did an update, a news story again.

They went to the cemetery, and there

down the row and to the left from the monument.

That's what the rich and famous folks call a tombstone, but the monument of Muhammad Ali and across the field, as they might say, from

Colonel Harlan Sanders in a dignified place of honor in Louisville, Kentucky, is Denny Crumb, and he's got a big hole with concrete filled in it and nothing on top of it.

Guess where Denny Crum's tombstone is?

I don't know.

We talked about this a while ago.

We talked about him.

No, we talked about him passed away, but guess where his tombstone is?

We know where Denny is.

He's the same place he's been for quite a while now.

Probably not really going to be a world traveler from this point, but guess where his tombstone is?

I have no idea.

At the bottom of the Red Sea.

That was going to be my second guess.

At the bottom of the Red Sea.

And what apparently,

and I know this to be true because same for my mom and dad's that I had made,

the kind of marble that then the way they decorate it, blah, blah, blah.

They do these things overseas.

And I don't recall.

I think his was coming from India.

I don't know.

I can't remember now.

But I don't think that ours came from India, but it's the same principle.

On the boat,

I guess you can't really airmail a goddamn, you know, marble, granite, fucking several-ton item.

On the boat over here, it got involved in, I think, the Hamas war, the terrorism, potentially pirates, who knows what's going on.

And the ship was sunk and the fucking things at the bottom of the Red Sea.

And now

they're working on a replacement, but

it's going to really fuck up the archaeologists in like 2,000 years when they find that, but nobody.

They're going to think, oh my God, how did they get him down here?

What century could this have been from?

When did they do this?

He obviously was one of

the Greek gods.

One of the sea people that we've heard about.

Yes, Neptune and Denny Crumb.

Denny Crum of Atlantis, we salute you.

But it's ironic because the U of L colors are red because the Louisville Cardinals are red because Cardinals, the birds are red, and he was the coach of a red team for all those.

years and now he's at the well he's not but his monument is at the bottom of the Red Sea.

What kind of monument was he getting that they had to ship it from over there?

Well, that's what it's, I mean, it's not like it's a goddamn giant, you know, monolith you're thinking about.

But no, when you do the nice tombstones, as we regular folks used to call them, but still they weigh a couple of tons if you have like a double header.

And

they do, they have better marbles and materials and engraving, and they can do things over there, and they can do them in it more inexpensively.

And so many of these monuments come from various places other than the United States.

Have you ever seen some guy in Cleveland doing quality work on a tombstone?

I don't know.

On Long Island, we had the fine people at Sprung Monuments.

Sprung?

Sprung.

They went to school with my father.

Stephen Sprung went to school with my father, so that's how I know them.

Very nice people, though.

Took care of multiple dead relatives.

There is well i was there stones arrived on time no pirates that's the sprung way but there's there's there's some line involving getting sprung from a cemetery uh that i can't think of right now but

was uh you know what

god dang it sprung i'll go with it how about

be hung with sprung

no that wouldn't work because that's the method of

why

well that's the that's the method of of of execution so that if you would be you would be more planted you'd be buried with harry's

well nevertheless that's again oh well let's just clarify from our good friends at harry's this has nothing to do with them

no it's a completely different harry and unless he and it you know decided to diversify and and We can't ever blame these big business typhoons for spreading out.

Do you think when Harry from Harry's is buried, like it has to be well kept-the plot, right?

Like, they can't let anything grow.

I mean, that would be just not lost, like we have lost the plot.

Well, this is your show.

This is your show.

That means it's your fault.

Some things that have been going on, ladies.

Oh, I would like to say

happy birthday on August 7th to William

and say, I don't know how to, exactly how to, to, I don't want to insult him and not and mispronounce his last name on his birthday, but it's N-I-N-O.

Would that be Nino or would that be, would that have to be the Nino, like El Nino?

Nino.

Well, no, that sounds like Mino.

Seems like there'd be a W at the end somewhere.

The Mets have a great player, Brandon Nimmo.

It's N-I-M-M-O.

Well, no, this is N-I-N-O.

Oh.

Not M-I-M-O.

I thought you said there were two two N's.

No, there's, there's two.

And they're, well, yes, there's two N's.

What are you saying in New Jersey-ish?

What are you saying?

You just changed the spelling of the word.

No, N-I-N-O.

Nino?

Okay, but there's not two in a row.

That would be Nino.

You're right.

Oh,

you meant thought two N's and I thought you said two M's because you have that accent.

No, this accent.

I thought you were saying Nimmo.

That's what I did say.

Nimmo?

I said the Brets, the Bretts, the Mets.

have an outfielder named Nimmo.

Why am I yelling at you?

Have an outfielder named Nimmo and you're gonna like that.

Well, that's the thing.

It doesn't make any sense because that would be M's in there instead of N's.

But this guy has a birthday on August the 7th, William Nino, and apparently his...

He's a he's a customer at Cornett's Collectibles, but his wife, Melissa, apparently did some kind of favors.

I don't know for Hotchkiss.

And that's how I've

alerted to.

Let's not put it that way.

Well, that's how I'm alerted to mention this.

Is that

there was some correspondence between

Hotchkiss and this lady while there were some transactions going on with Cornett's Collectibles.

And in the process, I get a note.

Hey, wish happy birthday on August 7th to William Nino.

So he won't know about me and Hotchkiss at the Super 8?

No, what, you and Hotchkiss?

I'm saying, is that what she's saying?

Is she throwing you?

You're making it sound like she's having an affair with Hotchkiss.

No, they closed the Super 8, is what I'm saying to you.

Is that what you're saying?

Okay.

I didn't know what you were talking about.

I'm a fool.

It's been gone a long time.

All right.

Now it's the old log in it's a fucking woodsy resort type of area if you were anyway if you were going to open up a national if someone said jim cornet

you've missed your calling we're going to help fix that we want you to plan a national hotel chain one of the most important qualities to have

um well i think and it has to be affordable it can't be just like you know for the rich people like you.

Oh, come on now.

The ritzy-titsy cornets rolling in the town.

Hey, where's the valet?

Hey.

Oh, shut up.

Now, you know, I have many times ranted and raved about the Ritzy Titsy hotels, and I don't want that.

I don't want to walk miles through stores and shopping areas and restaurants to get to my room.

I don't want everybody trying to help me carry my shit and wheel my shit and fondle my shit and get a tip for it.

I don't want, I want to be able to park the parking lot, go through the side door, get to my room, and sleep in peace and comfort.

So don't try to pan, pan, don't try to pawn

that type of talk off on the people out there.

But I think we, we,

you stick with.

Your middle name is Waldorf.

No, well, not many people know that.

You stick with the, like, the Carlin

concept of just have the motel that has the sign.

It says, sleep, fuck,

sleep, fuck, sleep and fuck.

That would be your hotel.

I didn't know I was going to go down this road.

I should have.

I should have.

But just the baby, you need a comfy bed and a quiet room and people minding their own business at the front desk.

And

it's good to have a, you asked about it, Nash.

It's good to have a restaurant.

In the, you don't have to have a four-star restaurant, but something that will give people the basics

in the lobby there and a little room service certain hours and cleanliness and security and nice bathrooms and good cable.

What about a hotel where you could skip the front desk?

Some kind of way you could check in before you get there?

And I guess they could check out the camera.

Oh, no, no.

They have all of that shit now.

They send you emails.

Oh, you can.

E-check in with your fucking blow it out your ass.

When I show up at the hotel, I go to the front desk and I announce my my arrival.

Hello, I am the person that has a reservation and I am here to claim it.

I will be staying with you people for a approximate period of such and such,

and I will be no trouble if you are no trouble to me.

Good day to you.

No, I want to, you check in.

It's part of the process.

And

you get a feel for do these people know what the fuck they're doing here?

Do they have their shit together?

And then they know you're here on their property.

And I've assessed whether or not that I might be able to come to them if I do have any questions or if they're just going to be as dumb as a box of rocks.

And then we go from there.

And I do sometimes pick their brains, no matter how microscopic they may be, on

back in the old days,

places that I wanted to call that delivered food late at night.

and or directions to wherever the fuck I was going and how bad the traffic would be, things of that general nature.

And then it's a business transaction and you're pleasant to them and they're pleasant to you.

They better be.

And then you go on your way.

So no, I don't want to just walk.

I'd feel like I was breaking and entering if I just walked into a goddamn place and just suddenly went into a room automatically.

Well, this is your show today and it sucks.

Well, hey, that's because you've been asking all the questions.

Hey, don't blame me.

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Before we talk about SmackDown, which was basically the two-hour promotional video for SummerSlam and then SummerSlam itself,

I think we

should

mention this.

I've had a trying week and Brian shamed me because he was prepared.

I was not.

We were going to talk about both biographies from last weekend.

Hard week, folks.

Ted DiBiase

and Paul E.

Danger Heyman.

But because I could watch DiBiase while distracted, but I wanted to give Heyman some attention.

I know those words sound odd coming from me.

I didn't get to watch it at all.

So we're going to catch up with Paul Heyman.

In depth, we're going to go inside Paul Heyman deep.

His biography on AE, on

AEW, whatever the fuck,

on your show this week, so you can take credit for it.

Oh, boy.

But,

well, it's been a trying week, you know.

For heaven's sake, sometimes.

I had a very action-packed, exciting week.

Production's a little bit behind schedule because I got the witness firsthand.

I said it before.

Steven Pinu, the left, the right, the uppercut.

I got to see it all for seven hours.

He even used the bolo punch.

I found that that's almost when you're taunting your opponent, is when you just wind up and use the old bolo punch.

We'll be talking about this more in the future once we get some legal clearance on it.

But I have to say, Stephen certainly showed the person he was talking to hard times,

and he made sure that these hard times were explained thoroughly.

There'll be more to come in granular detail.

individual A,

as he shall be known,

understands now that it would have been just so much easier not to do the thing that he did.

But anyway, that's what I'm saying to you, Brian.

And did you ever want to, were you ever, I will ask this question in English.

That would be.

Well,

we'd have a nice conversation if you wouldn't interrupt me.

Did you ever just, when you were sitting someplace and you were in a situation, did you ever want to disappear, be somewhere else, stay more private, away from

the intruding outside world, and just feel like you were protected all around you with a cone of silence, a bubble of anonymity?

Did you ever feel that way, Brian Last?

I mean, not really.

I'm pretty good at just hiding in public as it is.

Well, if you ever did, like all the rest of us,

want to just vanish and stay private and not have people spying on you and sperming on you and worming their way into your life.

Showing up on your front door from Virginia Beach.

Showing up on your front door from Virginia Beach.

Well, that's why you need to talk to our friends at expressvpn.com.

You see where I'm going with this now, don't you, Brian?

Because that's the place that you go to if you don't want prying eyes and spying eyes and lying eyes

all over your business and what you're doing online, on the websites, on the Googles, on the social media thingies that they have there.

It's all connected, Brian.

You know, the whole world's connected now.

And somebody's going to pull a plug on this thing sooner or later.

We'll all be screwed.

So you need to be protected because then your public identity and your

personal activities on the interwebs will just come pouring out of people's computers like goddamn slot machines.

And what?

You know, suddenly.

That's what you think pulling the plug is?

Well, so when something happens where they're going to hack this whole thing and then it's going to just all fall apart, right?

Right.

And then everything

that you do will just go to other people's computers.

And it'll just

look

now there, little Pismo Clam

in Santa Luis, Obisbo, California, will come to find out he's been visiting Dalmatian porn sites for the last six months.

And boom, there goes your right to own a dog.

Yeah, maybe more than that.

What are you talking about exactly?

I'm talking about you get express VPN.

And they will protect your identity and your activity on the interweb so that people, your internet service providers, cannot see what you're doing, don't know where you are,

can't pinpoint you.

These people can't watch you.

You know, I was watched one time, Brian.

But thankfully, I had downloaded ExpressVPN because it's easy.

You fire up the app and you click one button and you're protected.

And this was back in the 80s when I was

on the road all the time.

This guy was following me around at my hotel.

Every time I would go down a hallway, he'd turn and come down that same hallway.

And then I'd turn somewhere else and he'd turn around the corner and he'd follow me.

Well, luckily, I had downloaded ExpressVPN on that handheld Tetris game that I used to carry around in the 80s.

And I programmed it to think that I was in Bolivia.

And then as that guy came around the corner, I hit start and I threw it to him and he caught it and boom, they vanished.

He went to Bolivia.

And he couldn't attack me and hit me over the head with a hammer and steal my money or whatever he was going to do because I sent him to Bolivia.

I never did get my Tetris game back.

But ExpressVPN can send you other places around the world.

It reroutes 100%

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And And it makes it difficult for third parties to track your online activity.

Because after all these third parties trying to track you online, generally their feelings are hurt because you didn't ask them back for a second time, these third parties.

And then they're starting trying to track you.

But they're also, ExpressVPN, rated number one

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And Brian, of course,

if you're on the verge of greatness, you're on the verge.

And that's what ExpressVPN is all about here:

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You don't want people watching you while you're using the bathroom,

or you don't want people

peeking in the window while you're fiddling with your diddly.

Well, it's the same thing if they're keeping track of you through the, of course, we all know the internet service provider have the folks inside your walls.

No, we don't.

Behind those plugs, lie spying eyes.

There's a lie there.

That's certainly true.

There's no one behind your walls.

There's no ISPs behind your walls.

But perhaps you want to be able to access content that is country-restricted, that is legal, that is perfectly fine to watch.

It's just some kind of issue that

the rights holders can't get around.

You can get around it.

Oh,

you can do what others can't.

That's what you're saying.

What others can't?

Like, explain this.

Well,

you can't get around it.

It's so high you can't get over it.

And so wide you can't get around it, but you can get low enough to go under it.

That's what you're saying here.

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Just so we got that out of the way.

All right.

Well, that was what you were talking about.

What are we going to talk about next?

All right.

Well, thank you for just piping in with the goddamn

pipe.

Oh, heavens.

I didn't mean that you should pipe your organ in.

I'm trying to

hear that.

There's an echo that's not usually here.

I will investigate.

Are you going to need a flashlight or a magnifying glass to investigate that?

Can you

put that off until later, can't you?

Because I think we should go to the, before we talk about the activities of the WWE

this weekend, let's talk about the biography of Mr.

DiBiase, Ted DiBiase, the million-dollar man.

You saw this program last week on the AE network, did you not, Brian Last?

I did.

I saw it.

I enjoyed it.

He's a very pleasant man.

A very pleasant.

He just seems very happy.

And, you know, if you don't mention any of the state scandals in Mississippi, he seems like a very well-together, you know, put, well, mentally together guy.

A well-boiled guy.

Unlike me.

I'm like this here, me, you.

God damn.

This is biography, DiBiase, the Million Dollar Ted.

Nouns and pronouns, adjectives.

I'm not saying this to knock Ted.

I was disappointed in it.

I was disappointed in it because one of the...

I liked Ted.

That's why I was disappointed.

Because the main part of his career that I liked, that I just wanted to see maybe five, six, seven minutes of footage or

know, attention out of the hour given to, they completely skipped the fuck over.

The period from what, 1981 to 1987, it just

they they kind of told it in that,

yeah, he went, he started in the old mid-south, the McGurk territory, the Louisiana.

He worked in Texas, went to work for Vince in 1978, which

I think it it was 78, 79, had a run,

goes to Georgia or whatever, does something else.

And oh, Vince has an idea.

And then Vince met Bruce.

That's what the documentary made itself.

Well, yeah, yeah, well, yeah.

And,

well, let's face it, Bruce had everybody's phone number.

So technically,

that's,

but nevertheless.

The period of time where he they established that he was well thought of from the beginning

got some you know early notoriety and then completely skipped over when he was the the best worker in the mid-south territory as a baby face and as a heel

uh the

the a big run in georgia the uwf

transition and he was a major player at that point just

Everything that happened from the period of time where he really started getting over to where he became the million-dollar man.

Yeah, man, it was a good story to tell there, even if you kind of wanted to minimize it.

It could be, I went to, I returned to Mid-South as the biggest heel in the territory, and then you could show the angle with Flair and Murdoch and explain how that turned him into the biggest babyface in the territory.

They didn't even show any of that.

I mean, that's the one thing everyone thinks about with Mid-South, the stuff with the dog and the stuff with him and Murdoch.

Or the match with him and Flair and the Murdoch incident, I should say.

Yeah.

And you know what?

I'm not saying I know that they only had 46 minutes plus commercials or whatever, so they couldn't focus on individual feuds or angles or whatever.

They could have showed some highlights of that, but to skip over an entire six-year period where he,

yes, they basically ended up with him,

how did they phrase it, being passed by for the NWA title, which was back in 1981 again.

And he was kind of upset.

So, and then Vince called, 87, boom.

His best years as Ted DiBiase, pre-million dollar man, were those.

And that's kind of stuff I was just wanting to see on the national television.

So that's why I was kind of disappointed, not in that Ted was not a great talenter.

I don't just, you know, didn't like the program.

Although

they give a lot to the preaching after.

after his

in-ring career was over with.

But it was cool seeing

the childhood pictures because

they raised the great point at the beginning of all the second generation talent, how many actually their mother and father were both wrestlers.

And we get the, you know, a baby doll.

And

help me, besides DiBiase here.

There's got to be a Luchador or two that we're not thinking of.

I don't know.

That's a tough question.

Motherfucker.

We will

research it and get back to you if we come up with anything.

And then both his mother and real father were in show business

before that wrestling even became a thing.

She was a dancer and his father was a singer.

But they got divorced when he was like two years old.

They had some great old pictures there.

And then Helen Hild, his mother,

married, who worked in the 50s, and you see her name everywhere.

She was a

name female wrestler in that era that traveled almost all the territories.

And she married Mike DiBiase,

who was a big name, especially in Texas, and had been a

AAU.

The AAU was before the NCAA, correct?

They predate that organization, but he had been a major collegiate shooter and then a name pro wrestler.

Did he not hold the junior heavyweight title at some point?

You know, I'm not sure.

It sounds right.

I know Ed Francis had the World Junior Heavyweight title in the 50s.

I got to see what Mike DiBiase would have had.

Or it may have been regional, but nevertheless, they had some black and white footage of Iron Mike.

And then tell the story, July of 1969, he had a heart attack after a match in Lubbock.

And

when he died,

that's, I think, this was a great, I think the best part, the highlight of the show was

illustrating the relationship that

Mike DiBiase had had with Dory Funk Sr.

and

the Funk family and what the Funks did for Ted

as a result of their, you know, they liked him also, but their respect for Mike DiBiase.

You know, Dory Sr.'s wife was the one who called Ted out in the hallway when they all came over to the house and told him what had happened to his father.

And Terry is the one who brought his dad's ring bag back to him.

So that was, you know,

Ted was only, I think, what he said, 14 or 15 at that point.

So it wasn't like Ted was ever in the business.

They just knew he was Mike DiBiase's son.

And it was, you know, it was moving to hear him tell that story.

But you could see just in that brief story being told here and Terry Funk's own words telling it.

Why Terry was so revered by everyone who worked there.

Yeah.

Forget about everywhere else and fans fans like us.

When people work for West Texas, they didn't come out of there complaining like, oh, the fucking promoters, kids.

None of that.

And Terry really did look after Ted DiBiase.

Like, there was a genuineness beyond the craziness that every wrestler had that Terry Funk never lost.

Thank you.

That's very profound.

I was waiting for more.

But yeah, that's, you know, they had thankfully comments from Terry that they'd recorded, you know, years ago, probably when he did the Hall of Fame thing or whatever.

But

talking about Ted and

Terry played an instrumental part

at certain points in his life, including

getting him to New York and getting him to Georgia and et cetera, et cetera.

But it was interesting that he had a pause in it.

Ted had a pause in his life where he

moved to Arizona with his grandmother and he wanted to play football in college, but he hadn't watched wrestling

since his father had died.

And now he's gone to college, so three or four years or whatever.

And he saw one of the funk shows from the TV from Amarillo, but they were bringing a house show to Tucson.

So he went to visit and ended up

switching.

And instead of going to Arizona to play football, he went to West Texas State so he could eventually work for the Funks.

So that was,

you can tell they probably made an impression on him at night and gave him a good,

I mean, I'm sure he wanted to do it to begin with, but they also probably gave him a good assurance that,

yeah, this is the thing you need to do.

You know, again, he didn't have too many people in that kind of role.

I'm not saying Terry Funk was a father figure.

He was, you know, maybe an older brother that could look after him.

He knew he would be okay

under the Funks in West Texas.

Well, and see, that's when Dory Sr.

was still alive.

Think about it because he, um,

Ted was already, he had, he didn't go back to his last

year of college, and he

started in 1974.

So he would have,

he may even have, have talked to the old man himself there that night.

Because that would have been, what, 1972 or whatever.

So he would have had,

you know,

some of the most important and knowledgeable guys in the business, you know, taking him under their wing, which is why he

probably turned out to be, you know, such a great worker and he had the aptitude and he had the eye for it.

And

a lot of the

guys that were either trained in West Texas or came, spent a lot of time in that system, every from

you know, the Saruda to

Dick Murdoch to the guys that the Funks trained for On and Off for Japan or DBSi here, they were all so

fundamentally sound, as Gordon Soley might used to say.

And they were just all-around, excellent workers who understood the flow of the fucking match.

But anyway, that's,

you know, they tell that story up to that point.

And then he debuts in Lubbock

in 1974, the same town that his dad had died in.

And then they sent him to work, what was the McGurk territory?

It wasn't Mid-South Wrestling.

Right.

They called it Mid-South Wrestling at that point.

For the sake of,

I can see why, for the sake of

clarity for the average viewer, that they did that.

But it was actually.

Come on.

It's like if you work for Continental and you called it Smoky Mountain.

Well, but there you go.

You got me there.

But still, the point is, it was, and actually, it wasn't really all mid-south, though, yet, because they sent him Louisiana and Mississippi and Arkansas.

And he didn't have

an Oklahoma.

He didn't have Houston yet, blah, blah, blah.

But nevertheless, that's where Ted spent

if he went there.

He spent, you know, probably

eight of the next 12 years because

he was so good at that.

It was a really

a territory where the babyfaces and the heels need to have their shit together.

And he was so good at both, first as a babyface, and he finally got to turn heel there and,

you know, learn from

not only Watts, but all the Dusties and all the top guys that came through there.

And that's why I would.

Go ahead.

Between 76 and 86, how many wrestlers put more miles on their car than Ted DiBiase?

Oh, God.

How many cars?

I don't know he had to have gone through in that point in time.

And that's why he said it.

He told me at one point when he was in Louisiana in 84, some of the later part of the year while we were still there.

And you can see we were kind of dragging.

And he said, hey, I was here one time for a year and a half.

My hair started falling out and I hated the business.

I had to get out of here for a while.

But then he'd come back because the money and,

you know,

you could not only make money there, but you could establish yourself as a top guy.

And he was always considered a main eventer there.

And if he left and he came back, he was right on top.

But that

period of time,

then he was working St.

Louis and,

you know,

being brought in there and his first run in the W, was it WWWF still when he got there the first time or had they switched to WWF?

I think it was still the extra W when he first got there.

And, you know,

you could tell that he was a little pale and Ted was never a muscular man.

He was like Bobby Eaton.

He didn't have a lot of muscular definition, but his cardio is through the roof.

But you could tell he didn't kind of fit in with it without a gimmick in the WWF from the highlights they showed.

But But he worked everywhere else because he was such a

good, solid baby face that could sell and understood what was going on.

And they were already,

you know, talking about potentially

him being

the next champion.

By 1981, what was it?

That's where Funk said.

Don't go back to Texas, go to Georgia, meaning get on the TV there, TBS.

You need people to see you because

they were talking about him being one of the next champions for the NWA.

And Terry would know that because by then,

you know, it was Terry and Dory that, well, they had, they were booking for Baba, the Americans, and

they still had membership in the NWA.

I think that by that point in time, they'd sold Amarillo, but you know what?

They knew what was going on.

And by the way, let me just clarify, I was wrong.

It was WWF when he got there in 79.

When did they switch?

In 78 then?

In 79.

That's what threw me off.

When you said 78, that's what threw me off.

79 is when they switch.

He gets there as the North American champion,

and then he feuds with Pat Patterson, and all of a sudden they announced Pat Patterson won a tournament in Rio de Janeiro, and he's now the Intercontinental Champion.

And I got pictures of D.B.

with the North American title belt.

From Frank Amato.

Do you remember that photographer?

Yeah, of course.

Everybody does because he would write in black Sharpie his last name, a motto, across the corner of every picture he ever took on the front.

He wasn't the only one.

Lil Al Vavasur had a stamp that he put on everything.

What are your thoughts as a photographer on other photographers that would mar, deface, vandalize their photos?

Well, that would put a stamp on there or something to let the world know it's their photo.

Well, see, it was harder to steal shit in those days anyway.

So the kids wouldn't understand what we were talking about because now they got the watermark online, but you can

make a digital copy of anything.

To steal someone else's picture on a grand scale in the 1970s, you had to take a decently clear picture to a photo place and have a copy negative.

made off of that picture, which wasn't going to look as good as the picture did,

and then have copies made off of that.

That was the way the the procedure worked.

So you were just, if you were stealing somebody's picture, you were being a complete prick because everybody could tell that it was a copy of a fucking picture.

And it looked like shit, so most people wouldn't want it.

So

a lot of them, you know, put their names on the back of the pictures so they couldn't get printed in magazines without credit.

But some people would

write their name on the front of the fucking picture, which I thought was cheesy because god damn it, somebody wants the picture to put on their wall.

They don't want your, unless

they felt like it was their autograph because they were celebrities.

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But I'm digressing, aren't I?

That's what this show is all about.

You know, the digressions are sometimes better than the transgressions or the progressions.

They didn't talk about any of Ted's transgressions in terms of the Mississippi state government and...

Oh, come on now.

you keep going back to Mississippi.

The ghosts of Mississippi.

Let the fucking ghosts of Mississippi lay.

That's what they're calling those tax dollars, the ghosts of Mississippi.

That money just vanished.

They went woo off into the night.

Woo!

The money.

What do you think, though, of getting to the WWF portion here?

And again, Bruce plays a big part of that because that's right when he got there.

And maybe one of the things that helps sell him to Vince is someone who could be a complete

stooge.

What did you think seeing?

You were looking for the word toady.

I was thinking toady, but I decided to go a different route.

What did you think seeing the vignettes and some of the, very briefly, some of the behind the scenes of the early Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase vignettes?

We always hear, I think it was the Scott Hall biography, where they said, yeah, this was a big thing for Vince.

He was on hand producing it himself.

Same thing with the Million Dollar Man.

Well, I'm going to be in the minority.

The Million Dollar Man was not my favorite Ted DiBiase.

As I pretty much mentioned before, my favorite Ted DiBiase was when he was a serious babyface on top and a serious heel on top in that early to mid-80s period when he had that deep voice and he cut the fucking convincing promo and his work, the matches.

But now, having said that, I recognize that he made more money with the Million Dollar Man, and that's what everybody remembers.

And I liked him in a lot of cases as the Million Dollar Man.

Again, in the ring, it was still Ted DiBiase.

But I thought so much of the

vignettes were, it was over the top.

I know that's what everybody was doing in the WWF at that point in time.

But the laugh, it was, ha, ha,

it was it, ah,

bring it back.

And that's the thing.

Bruce loves to say the phrase, well, we wanted to create this character.

And they're all trying to self-filate themselves like they're in the actor's studio.

He can't just come out and say, you know, we wanted the gimmick to be, he's a fucking multi-millionaire.

We wanted to create this character.

And, you know,

it worked because he could work and he could talk and he could pull the shit off.

But it was Vince's you because it was Vince's alter ego.

It was Vince's personal gimmick that he came up with.

Tony Khan comes up with, what's his name?

Hologram.

And

Vince came up with a million-dollar man.

And he did produce everything, but also Ted was taking it and running with it.

That's what.

If it was Tony, it would be the boy with all the friends.

Yeah, there you go.

The friended boy.

The boy with too many friends.

How many friends?

Too many friends.

Too many friends.

But because of that, it was over-the-top corny in a lot of cases with what they put on television.

And I know Ted got a kick out of it and Bruce got a kick out of everybody.

But I'm like, ah.

He was more effective when he could really fucking dig into it.

You believed it.

But nevertheless, just the laughing and the sum of the over-the-toppedness.

I'm not talking about the general heel kicking the basketball out of the kids' dribble or what.

And by the way, that was Virgil's son, I believe, but they never mentioned that on this show.

But anyway,

the vignettes are what people remember.

And at the same time, Vince, because this was his thing,

Actually, the stories are legendary, did fly him first class and paid for limousines and had him stay in the best hotel and gave him cash to fucking tip $100 bills to keep the gimmick up.

And

if it had been somebody like the Ultimate Warrior that had got that deal, it was even been being, because even Warrior didn't get goddamn tip money from Vince, right?

The boys probably would have fucking killed him and buried him under a dam somewhere.

But because they respected Ted and his ability, they'd go, oh, you lucky son of of a bitch.

It was that kind of thing.

Did this

was another thing that bothered me,

but I guess it would have been, it would it have been confusing after all.

They

they covered the February 1998 NBC main event.

That was prime time on Friday night.

What?

88.

I said February 88.

You said 98.

Well, that's the old 98.

Used to come come round the bend.

That was the old 98.

I was ducking out of the way of it.

February of 88 is

before I got on the train.

It was a Friday night, wasn't it?

Friday night at like 8 o'clock.

That's right.

Friday night.

It was the main event, not Saturday night's main event.

Well, NBC main event.

The NBC main event.

Whatever the fuck it was.

Anyway,

that was where they did the twin referee deal, but they cut out the twin referees, what I'm trying to say to you.

And

they were talking about Ted wanted to buy the WWF title from Andre after Andre beat Hulk, which was the rematch from the previous year's WrestleMania.

That's why it drew,

what was the viewership?

Like 33 million viewers?

Something like that biggest audience ever for professional wrestling.

Yeah, it was the first primetime network wrestling program since the Dumont network had gone under in 1956, and it was the highest-rated wrestling program ever in the United States.

And so it was also when they signed, because I remember seeing it going, oh my God, that's fucking Earl, because Earl had been working for us at Crockett

up until like the previous fucking day.

And suddenly they did the twin referee, but they didn't show that they just that ted bought the referee off or whatever

and couldn't they have

couldn't they have said that ted paid because that's what they said on the show right was that my god did dibiase pay for the plastic surgery

is there some did they have some law it was earl in a lawsuit or dave in a lawsuit or which i can't tell which one of them they showed because they were twins you know yeah i don't know about any lawsuits lawsuits.

Uh, obviously, there were issues that caused them to be fired for bootlegging merchandise, but that was a long time.

Well, which was bullshit, by the way.

I don't know anything about it, was it?

I side with the Hebners.

Why?

What were they doing?

Um, I don't know, but I side with them.

You know, you can't say it's bullshit if you don't know.

Yeah, well, I heard, but I can't remember

that's good enough for me, goddammit.

Defendant will answer the question.

Don't make me badger you.

Anyway, so they did that deal there.

And then, of course, Jack Tunney had said, oh, no, no, no, you can't do that.

So they had the title declared vacant for the tournament at WrestleMania 4, which was against Clash 1.

A lot of numerals here.

And by the way, that's the Sunday afternoon from Greensboro where we had

7.8 million people, I believe believe it was, watching the last 15 minutes of Flare and Sting over on the Clash of Champions on TBS

36 years ago.

Tony,

but Teddy put Savage over in the finals of the tournament at WrestleMania.

And he kind of phrased it.

Well, you know,

Vince was selling the action figures, the toys, and everything to the kids.

He needed a hero.

I think

he was going to put it on Savage all along anyway.

You know,

that was what was planned, was it not?

Originally, it was supposed to be DBase, the story was, and then it was changed because that's when the story goes, HonkyTonk Man was asked to lose the Intercontinental title back to Randy Savage, but he didn't have a contract.

So he started talking to Dusty Rhodes, I guess, or someone in that office, with the idea he would show up on TBS with the Intercontinental Championship.

Vince made a deal with Hockey.

He held the title until SummerSlam.

Instead of Savage winning that, he won the tournament that, again, rumor has it DiBiase was going to win.

Ah, so there may be some smoke to that fire, or

fire to that smoke, or charcoal, gasoline.

Something to the story.

There could be.

There could be.

Well, Ted, Ted bought the million-dollar belt.

So there you go.

So they did the

million-dollar check.

And again, I think that probably cost Vince more than any other belt that he ever, even though it was

cubic zirconii, that's the plural.

It still was a lot of work, a piece of work.

And

so Vince spent more on that belt than probably any other belt they ever bought in history.

And then, you know,

once that they established that, the rest of the show was, well, meanwhile, the wife was taking care of the kids, and Ted was always on the road.

And people mentioned that Ted was partying hard.

And then his wife said that she saw charges on the bills that made her catch him cheating.

He put his shit on credit cards.

Ted, what's his 3,500 for hookers?

Hey, I might not know what a class act massage servant.

What the?

How

party favors aka cocaine?

What is this?

Why'd you charge it, you idiot?

I don't know, Hidles.

I'm Jerry Springer.

He got caught when he was running for fucking governor right in Ohio after he'd been the mayor of Cincinnati writing checks to the massage parlor.

But how do you?

Ken, I'm going through the books.

I'm trying to get the taxes in order.

What's his charge for a late-night pussy?

It's just and then it says, and then it says, Everybody has a price.

What's going on over there?

The memo line says, get checked on Tuesday.

What is

so?

Somehow,

and I don't know how, but somehow we've just, this has merely been conjecture on our part, ladies and gentlemen, on how.

But his wife saw paying the bills that he had been cheating on her, and they went to counseling with a pastor and apparently got religion.

So, once again, extreme emotional stress leads to irrational beliefs.

And I've skipped a lot of this part, just being honest with you.

Hey, Ted, someone in your hotel room rented the movie Ass Blasters 5.

You know anything about this?

Are you watching it alone or with Virgil?

Ted,

I went back and watched Ask Blasters 5.

You were in it.

Oh!

No, and again, mere extrapolation, ladies and gentlemen, on our part.

Speculation only.

If necessary, I'll be happy to go back and watch Ask Blasters 5 and make copious notes to make sure Ted's not really in it, just so I can clear him of that.

But seriously, though, what could she have seen on the credit card statements?

Unless it was like, you know,

Madam sucking fuck.

Like, what could she have seen on the statement that would have said Ted's fucking around?

Unless it was just dinner for two, something that simple.

Well, I mean, here's the thing:

if you

I hate to say this, but if you've given any thought to this whatsoever, have any experience of this type of thing, you're not going to buy

any type of present or gift or service for an unauthorized individual and put it on a credit card or some type of paper documentation that your significant other would be examining at a later date unless you just have completely lost your fucking mind, which

has been known to happen.

So, you know, but I hate to

think that Ted would be that sloppy, but apparently something may have taken taken place.

What's it say here on the receipt about sloppy million-dollar dream?

What was going on that night, Ted?

Either that or wait a minute, how did you spend $7,000 at Adam and Eve?

Yet all I got was this lousy thing from fucking Spencer's gifts.

Hey, maybe it's that.

Maybe it's gifts.

Who'd you buy all this for?

At Bergdorf?

Hey, who?

Bergdorf Goodman.

It's a famous store.

Oh.

Oh, I haven't been to Bergdorf's.

Bergdorf.

Bergdorf.

Well, it's his place, so it could be.

That's a possessive apostrophe.

S, it belongs to him.

Bergdorfs.

Well, back to SmackDown.

Are we all?

No, back to DiBiase.

Back to Ted DiBiase.

Basically, after the religion part, they got back to wrestling just to say that he was having neck issues and he decided to retire and managed and announced for a little while and started preaching.

And I skipped through

the preaching part of the last of the show also.

So that's kind of why

I wanted to relive some of the glory years Ted DiBiase before he sold out and became the million-dollar man and made all that money.

But it was

a decent program.

Indeed.

What was your final thoughts on this?

I mean, I enjoyed it.

Again, I joke about it, but leaving out that story when it's happening right now, it's hard to

think this has credibility because of that.

It's a very WWE-centric documentary focusing on the things that make Ted happy.

It seemed, but that's most of these documentaries.

If it makes you happy.

Oh, God, stop.

Not the Cheryl Crow catalog.

We've talked about this on like four different occasions.

I just, I just learned the tune of that, though.

I just, I was proud.

I mean, a big takeaway, I mean, if they wanted to make some money, they could put on.

But

how much is he involved in that?

Or is it, was it his sons and he

got caught in some

blowback and or

ancillary heat?

I see what's going on.

Dibiase got to you.

Well, no, I'm asking you.

Does he have just, what was he accused of?

Because I know that his sons were

doing things with ministries and state money, and those two things never fucking mix well together.

But what was Ted actually doing involved in this?

They said that I believe he profited from the whole thing.

I want to say there was a beach house or something.

And also, he slapped the child.

Do what now?

No, no, no, no.

I added that.

Just to get your attention.

No, apparently there was some kind of financial shenanigans that I blew.

Hewed at an old blind lady.

And of course,

there was a mansion on the water, as always.

A mansion on the water.

As opposed to smoke on the water or fire in the sky.

I mean, it's not, it's not goddamn nightline.

It's not a 2020 piece.

I don't think they're going to talk about his legal issues, except if he had brought it up as part of his wrestling career.

You think when they bust him for it and they say, what are all these charges?

He should go back to his old faithful one.

I'm cheating on my wife.

It was all in the process of having an extramarital affair.

And I was trying to.

I didn't know anyone was going to look at these statements again.

I didn't know this was going to happen.

You would think you'd get your paperwork in order after.

Well, good story, good documentary.

It's amazing how when you see the photos of him as a child, other than like the period in the mid and late 80s where he grew out the facial hair and dyed it kind of blonde, he looks exactly facially now like he did when he was a kid.

As soon as you see a picture of Ted DiBiase, you know it's him.

Yes, and he almost just the

cheeks and the eyes and the overall shape.

And he's always had a damn fine head of hair.

And deceptively big because he's skinny he was never big and muscular like you said earlier but he's what six three

probably at least yes but what's your definition of skinny now there's there's a ways in there between not muscular and skinny he's he's always been i think 240 250

and he is six foot three he's a big he just

look at he looked like it next to the other guys that were that same size but they were all bulked up even when he was on the gas in wwe he never got bulked up like that Yeah, well, and sometimes, you know, it's not there.

You can be in go shape better than show shape if you see what I'm saying.

Well, speaking of the shape of things as well as people's personal affairs, we'll be reviewing the Paul Heyman biography on the drive-thru.

Yes, as I mentioned, because I want to give it some attention, because I want to try to see if I can get any insight into what makes Happy Heyman tick.

This is one I want to sit down.

I didn't want to be interrupted for an hour over.

But,

you know, the thing about Debiasi, they showed the modern stuff, the stuff he's doing now.

He's preaching.

He's preaching to small rooms.

Brian, he's preaching.

He's in

person,

not the big crowds that

he was in front of in the stadiums, not the, you know, the major tens of thousands of people and millions that he that he was addressing on television but he's down here he's just speaking to a few people i wonder

if ted should set up some kind of

of online presence to sell the religion to the folks a platform if you will where he could get online and and instead of standing there in front of 24 people well he could be standing out there in front of 20 billion people all around the world if he just had the platform to sell the product and service that he's trying to sell to the people.

Don'ttellmywife.com.

That's it.

And right now, ladies and gentlemen, if you have something like that

that you don't want your wife to find out about.

Something like what?

If you've got.

If you've got something like that, if you've got a product or a service or a line of horseshit that you want to sell to people around the world for good, honest money, that they will pay you for your product or good or service or whatever the case may be, and you need the platform which to launch this drivel, I mean, launch this golden opportunity out to the world.

That's where you need our friends at Shopify, don't you, Brian?

I think the average person out there with their business looking for a good online solution for commerce needs Shopify.

I don't know about this specific example or whether they would want to be associated with it.

Well, I agree with many of the words that you just uttered because Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.

Now, every stage, there could be upstages and downstages.

Now, a lot of people.

They just want to get you and upstage you, but these people,

they will get you and downstage you too.

They're going to stick with you every stage of the way.

And they're going to take in money and

they're going to send you a good part of it.

I'll tell you that right now.

Because Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the United States.

That means

they're closing.

They're already one-tenth of a monopoly.

So think about this.

When they are the global force behind the platforms and all the major online retailers and they already have millions of other entrepreneurs across 175 countries.

When they've wrapped this whole thing up and you're not involved, well, you're going to be fucked because they're going to remember you.

Everybody that is not doing business with Shopify right now, they're making a list.

And I'll guarantee

you.

No, you don't guarantee anything.

When they've wrapped up 99% of all the e-commerce in the world and you're getting squeezed, I mean, they're squeezing your neck until your breeches are full.

That's how tight it is.

You'll wish that you had come crawling to Shopify when they were willing to deal with you instead of what's going to happen to you now.

So, right now, folks.

Let's just talk in positive, in positive ways, in a positive manner.

Hey, your business needs help.

Shopify is there to help it.

They can help you.

How's that?

Yeah.

Well, they can help in a variety of ways.

They can make it easier on you or they can make it harder on you.

And you get to pick which one.

And the choice is easy.

I'm telling you, it's like, you know, if you've got some great idea, Shopify can turn that idea into reality because they can develop things all along the way, not only the websites, but also the best converting checkout on the internet.

It's up to 36%

better compared to shit that doesn't work.

And

they can, again, lead you through this every step of the the way.

Shopify Collective, curating products from brands you love, the Shopify Bundles app,

where you can sell bundles of shit to people for no apparent reason.

Just put shit together and sell it.

Doesn't have to be any rhyme or reason, but they should show you how to do that.

There should be a rhyme or reason if you want to sell it.

Well, and they've got Shopify Magic, so they're just pulling shit out of thin air.

But you can find out all about it, folks, at shopify.com.

That's what you can do.

And

like I said, get in good with them now because later on it could be rough on you.

You know, if you're just one of the little guys when they've taken over completely, and then they will control the horizontal.

They'll control the vertical.

They will control all you see and hear.

They will be a fine, reputable business who operates up and above

any project.

They're wonderful people.

Use them today for your business.

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Well, Brian, I guess we're going to have to talk about the night before SummerSlam SmackDown

at Cleveland,

the Rocket Mortgage Field House.

Google Phi for me, if you can, how many people they had there while I vamp for you for a second.

But

I'm wondering if this was the old gunned arena and now it's become the Rocket Mortgage Field House.

Because

it looks like a big old building,

but they had a big old building up there already.

Anyway, have you got any of this information?

A couple of things here.

It opened October 17th, 1994.

It was the Gund Arena.

Okay.

SmackDown.

This is the wrong SmackDown I'm looking at.

Well, you had one for two at least, but the Gund Arena

was where they had SummerSlam 96, Vader, and Sean Michaels.

And it's a big big old building.

I think it seats 1920,000, somewhereabouts.

And that's where the WWE or F or as it was known then used to run.

But it was a brand new place then.

That's why I couldn't imagine that they had just cast it out like a bad penny and built another one in that time.

Go ahead.

I need another moment, if you don't mind.

Oh, God damn it.

See now, see, you usually have these things at your fingertips.

You had all the information on the gun.

And the reason why I'm saying this is because let's remember they're in Cleveland.

And I know it's SummerSlam, and it's

a big show and a big destination

event for WWE fans, but they're not in Las Vegas.

They're not at Nashville.

for the country music or Florida for the weather or

somewhere else for the whatever, they're in fucking Cleveland

because they had what is I'm trying to find goddamn notes here that 57,000 something.

Now, even with WWE math,

they had a lot of fucking people in that stadium.

Where do they announce that?

Ah, 57,791 is what they announced for SummerSlam.

Do we know anything about paid there yet?

Paid?

No, we don't know yet.

So, but but they announced that many.

So, you add what they had in the fucking gunned arena, which is an NBA arena.

It seats 20,000 people, and that was fucking jammed.

They had a decent-sized stage, but still,

the fuck 60 or 70,000 people in Cleveland.

How is it?

It's good, but it ain't that good, is it?

I'm shocked and amazed.

Anyway,

they get people to come and pay and park and come in

to see an infomercial the night before for to advertise the pay-per-view.

And that's kind of what SmackDown was.

And just of note, it won't take us long.

I have observations on,

you know,

what happened at a couple of the spoken word interludes.

They had the Cody

show down or face off or

pose down

strip down whatever with solo

and they don't have to do anything Cody does his entrance they chant his name they sing the whoa woah

they go crazy he's he got what do you want to talk about over finally

I think he could come out and fucking fart.

They'd be, yes, what a great fart.

Okay.

And it's give me a break.

Well, I mean, what the this

I mean, it's they're telling very good stories,

but at the same time, still, it's like, are they putting something

in the

soft drinks when the people come in the arenas?

They got it.

There's some kind of mind control device being maybe when you get your

ticket from Ticketmaster these days, they also chip you so that you're a pawn of the WWE Fan Enforcement Committee.

They're doing everything they want him to fucking do.

As soon as he mentions Solo, they boo him and then they play his music and out comes Solo.

And have you noticed he looks like a Samoan Al Sharpton?

Well, now that you say it, I guess I could see it.

He's got a long black coat over the top of another black coat coat with a gold chain around his neck and the gloves.

And he comes, and he looks like

before Al lost all that weight.

And as soon as he gets in the ring, they chant, We Want Roman.

I mean, it's

he tells the fans to acknowledge him, and the screen goes black.

Apparently, somebody said, fuck you.

And they chant Solo Sucks.

And

then they speak to each other.

And Cody delivers that,

you know,

staccato

roller coaster of verbiage in a flawless manner that I know you think is overly dramatic, but it fits this.

It fits this Shakespearean scene they've got going on here where the lights are on these people.

I am from multiple points in time here to talk to Flash Gordon.

like what is the way of talking it's just so because at times when he nails the

cody can get the humanity of everything better than most and he also gets the fakeness of the over

acting of everything the grand the grandiose yeah

it's grandiosity

And it would be Dusty.

It sounds like Dusty doing Shakespeare.

Yes.

And alas, poor Yorick.

I knew the motherfucker well, Horatio.

Maybe not that, Dusty, doing uh.

That's the way he do it on the plane.

After watching the volunteer Jam 1 videotape about three times, he was alas poyorick.

I knew that motherfucker better than anybody.

But Solo is doing a good job here, given his level of experience, but the whole thing

was to sell SummerSlam.

And then the one part

they got somehow crossed up, or somebody went to business for themselves because Solo was starting to

offer the challenge or proffer the challenge to make SummerSlam a bloodline rules match when suddenly there's Jacob Fatu coming through the fucking crowd and it stepped on it.

And then here comes the Tamas and the Loas and the Tongas.

And

Cody got it back on track, but they stepped on the challenge there, didn't they?

Maybe a bit, but I don't think so.

I don't think it was that big a deal.

I mean, they got a big reaction when Jacob Fatu started walking out.

And then, you know, they...

Yeah, well, it stepped on Solo's original offer of it.

I think somebody missed a, maybe thought they heard the cue or whatever, and sent a guy, but...

But then Cody reiterated it.

So they heard it.

So there's that.

You weren't offended by that.

Do you think there's much incentive to take on the bloodline rules?

No, it doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, I'll just let you and all of your friends, you know, make it okay for you to just gang up on me and just beat the shit out of it.

No, it doesn't make any sense, but that

puts jeopardy in

the baby face's path.

And to be honest, all of these people now have given up on

having anything make any sense anyway.

They just want to see some fucking Jeopardy.

I lost on Jeopardy,

baby.

Woo.

I don't remember the woo-woo woos there.

So let's see.

Remember the Greg Ken band did Jeopardy and then and then Weird Al did

the Jeopardy parody.

Anyway, Cody Rhodes says

to them he's not afraid of the tongas and he ain't afraid, even though he's

he may be dumb or whatever i'm not afraid of jacob fatu you dumb son of a bitch and then everybody chanted for cody

and cody agreed for the stipulation bloodline rules at summer slam and then solo told cody well i'm not going to have them kick your ass now because they're going to win a tag team title night and we're going to kick your ass tomorrow

And Cody said, well, the tribal chief's not here, so I'll settle for the wannabe.

And then they all walked off.

Well, that got a big reaction.

You just went through it pretty quick.

But when he said that again referencing roman that he's the real tribal chief that got a big reaction

yes it did because they want to see roman hence why they've been chanting we want roman and i didn't mean to throw it off like that but

that's the point is that

you know it

They've set the, they've established the pattern that if these guys,

you know, get in the ring with somebody, they're going to just kill them and nobody does anything about it.

And then they just, well, but this time we're not going to fight because they shouldn't fight that close to SummerSlam.

It's already made, but they have to, they always have to do the thing where, well, they're going to be face-to-face.

So now, because they always fight,

everybody expects to fight.

And then when they don't fight, everybody's let down because they didn't fight.

So they kind of painted themselves into a corner there.

Sometimes you, you know, they don't just always have to be face-to-face every fucking week, is the point I'm making.

It was already, the match was already made.

Everybody was as interested as they were going to be.

But then they couldn't figure out a way for all these people to run in without it being bloodline rules.

So they just, well, let's make it bloodline rules.

Anyway, they had a bunch of fucking matches that didn't mean anything, and then Logan Paul came home.

Logan Paul came home to Cleveland, even though apparently he's actually from Westlake, Ohio.

It's what was revealed a little bit later on.

But

again, this is basic shit.

It's see-through shit.

You can see it coming, and it's all working.

The people are loving it.

They hate the piss be, or they love the piss being taken out of the heel.

They hate.

They like it when the babyface LA night

gets, you know, gets over on this fucking asshole.

This is Wrestling 101 with a giant budget where they can have banners made and drop them from the ceiling, and they can

hire extras or just have people that work in the office now that are wearing a suit just fucking staying, whatever.

But this was

a 15-minute segment, and it didn't break any revolutionary booking ground, and everybody loved every goddamn thing.

And it's just so simple.

Nick Aldous is in the ring.

He announces

he's in the ring with these Cleveland dignitaries, and there's two people and a woman standing behind him.

Who were they?

Exactly.

And they were not named.

And then he introduces Logan Paul, and the people boo him.

And as he's coming to the ring, the screen goes black two or three times.

I know they're giving him the finger or they're showing their tally whackers or whatever.

And they've got a sign in the crowd, Prime Tastes Like Water from Lake Erie.

And he does a good heel promo.

And of course, apparently we're beginning more and more to find out he may be a dick, really.

So

now people are really not liking him.

And they get all over him and he trashes Cleveland because even though he's from there, you know, he's better than them because he's he's a success and blah, blah, blah.

And that's why he brought out these Cleveland dignitaries and then Aldous is what said, Well, I actually Googled their names, put them in the Google machine, and I couldn't find anything.

And Logan Paul, you're not from around here, you don't know how much they mean.

And he wants to unlike, yeah,

if you're not from around here, see, or you'd know.

And he goes to unveil his championship banner with big fanfare.

And when it drops from the ceiling, it's got, yeah,

spray painted across it.

And again, I said, this is classic wrestling.

I have done this thing.

I did it in Smokey Bound Wrestling when I unveiled the portrait of my mother, Mama Cornette, and the Rock and Roll Express and snuck in and switched a picture of a St.

Bernard with curlers in its hair or whatever.

And it's been done in every territory.

And it all, and the people love it.

This is a fucking big budget deal.

And that's when L.A.

Night comes out, and he gets a big pop, and they chant L.A.

Night, and they

everything he says is over.

They yeah, and they fill it in.

And he's the one that tells everybody that Logan Paul's from Westlake and gets a pop.

And

he's,

I'm going to go in the back and get you a banner.

Since I ruined your banner, I'll go get you a banner.

And so he goes in the back and he just he's wandering around.

And this is like something they would have done with Steve Austin in 1999 or whatever.

And he asked the jobbers for a banner.

He ain't got no banner.

And finally, he runs into

the prime hummer.

And

at that point, Logan Paul in the rings, like my fucking truck.

And he starts running to the back.

And LA Knight has gotten in it and started it up.

And right as Logan Paul comes running in,

LA Knight drives it off, and Logan Paul chases.

I can't catch it.

That's a crime.

Is it fucking wrestling?

Is it?

Can anything be more basic?

And the people are eating it up.

Nothing could be more basic than a man chasing after a Hummer.

Good segment.

I agree with everything else you said.

It's as old as time.

And then they had the women's tag team title on the line with Jaden Bianca against Fire and Ice and

the

Heels got disqualified because Blair Davenport came up and they came up or came out or popped out.

Whatever.

What did she do?

Now I'm completely confused.

Well, she interfered is what she did.

She came into the ring and came out to to the ring, interfered, and they got disqualified and they beat up the babyface.

And she rose from a subterranean post to get the baby.

Well, no, she came.

I'm coming out.

I want the world to know.

Got to let it show.

I'm going to beat these old bad heels up now.

All right, anyway.

That was in your key.

Yeah, that was my key.

All right.

Well, speaking of the key, the key of Jacob Fatu, the Samoan werewolf, is where we're rounding this program out because the men's tag team title

was also on the line with Champa and Johnny Sameface, who's also from Cleveland.

He let everybody know in his pre-match interview.

They let him talk.

Jesus Christ.

They were defending against Toma Tonga and Jacob Fatu,

accompanied by

Tonga Byers Remorse Loa.

Stop it.

He's my favorite guy in the company right now.

Well,

so they put Jacob in this thing, and thank God.

And he's getting over like a superstar.

But Gargano, as I said, tried to do a fired-up promo because he's a hometown guy.

But

we've seen this.

I don't know how he lasts that long

in this environment where

he never gets any different, grows as a person, never blossoms like Drew McIntyre has.

He's small.

He's plain.

He's technically proficient.

And he looks like a fucking nerd.

And he's never going to be a top guy.

I can understand with Champa.

He's in his 40s now, and he's had a history of major injuries that he's come back from like a a goddamn cyborg but maybe and he's got a unique look and a stay his work is great and he's but maybe they don't want to invest that much because of those issues but what the why keep this fucking gargano around

in this star-filled environment what does he

offer to this fucking program except a boring indie presence

is my question to you well you wouldn't want to lose a talent like that to aew so you got to do what you can to lose.

Oh, God, he'd be perfect over there.

He'd actually probably be in the super heavyweight division over there.

But look, he's not my favorite.

I'm not a fan of Gargano's.

And once you point out his facial expressions, it never changes.

Once you hear his promos, never changes.

You realize that's not his thing.

The skits that he was doing with his wife for a while with Theory and Indy Hartwell, where they all lived together.

It was like three's company, but there were four.

It was terrible.

Yeah, I mean, people like his matches because he kicks out of moves.

He'll take big moves, he'll kick out of everything.

And that's the key.

You can take someone who looks like dog shit.

And if they can work a match without getting hurt and just kick out of everything that happens to them, everyone will be raving about him.

Well, he didn't kick out of everything that happened to him here because it was a decent match, short for this program's norm.

And

you know, again, eh, but Jacob Fatu

hit Gargano with a pop-up Samoan drop, a springboard moonsault, an implant DDT, one, two, three.

Thank you for coming and stood over his fallen fucking body.

Ah,

werewolf of Samoa.

Isn't he from the Bay Area?

That's what I was doing.

I was baying at the moon.

Now, Harley just turned her head and looked at me.

I'm sorry, baby.

It's okay.

Now, obviously, tag team wrestling and tag team, the tag team division has meant nothing, means nothing in WWE because of the way they use it.

But every now and then, the tag titles end up around or near main event people.

What do you think of the idea of putting the belts on Tomatonga and Jacob Factu here?

Well, this is perfect because even if the belts still don't mean anything because there are not a variety of full-time teams to challenge the bloodline at the level that they need to be.

In other words, everybody else is a middle-card fucking talent in the tag team division.

But with the bloodline having the gold, it is part of a promise that they're starting to fulfill of winning all the gold again and having this

hierarchy be dominant like the last one was.

So that makes it mean something.

And also you can have the Ortons and the Owenses and

people, the LA Knight, whoever the fuck, teaming up to go after the tag team title.

And you can put that in the main.

You can't have the bloodline versus pretty deadly or whatever the fuck in any kind of main event.

But you can pair up the normal single stars that are fighting the bloodline.

So it's going to be, it's going to hopefully elevate the tag team title rather than the title elevating the team because it's part of the top story now.

So I like that.

And obviously,

we said it was going to happen.

It had to happen.

It couldn't go any other way because they weren't going to fucking beat

Jacob Fatu and Tomatonga or any members of the bloodline with Tommaso Champa and Jarni Jarni Gargano.

Old Jarn.

Jarni Wrestling.

Jarni Wrestling.

Carney Wrestling, more like it.

But so that was SmackDown, and that set us up for, again, they're in Cleveland,

and they've drawn 60-something thousand people over two days.

And this was a two-hour infomercial for what they were going to be invited to come back and pay to see the following night.

I mean, you know, but am I wrong?

How is this?

It's they have they've

TKO has hired a staff of mass hypnotists

to cast a spell on these people because

just it's elementary shit, but everybody's over and people are fighting to give them their fucking money.

How has this transpired?

I think it goes to the argument that the simple stuff is what works.

And for years under evince, they got away from a lot of the simple things that always work to the where you would leave a segment of the audience with resentment or they would feel like WWE resented them.

Yeah.

And you don't have that anymore.

And no one's presented in an insulting fashion for the most part.

I mean, like even the goofy stuff like the models, or not the models, but the model girl and Otis,

like that's the height of the silliness now.

So that ain't that bad.

Because it used to be a whole lot lower.

Yeah, well,

quite a while back, Vince was out there pulling his pants down so somebody's head could be shoved up his ass.

And none of that stuff was on this show.

You know, none of the things that Philip SmackDown and Raw, either matches that, you know, no one for the most part really cares about.

It's none of the main event people, none of the main event talking segments, or Raw, where you do have some silliness and, of course, the odd zombie or two.

That wasn't on SummerSlam.

You know, so it goes to say a little bit about what the priorities are and what's being put on these shows.

And again,

even if,

you know, the babyface loses, nothing is done in a way that you feel like you're yanking the rug out from the fans.

And you saw that a lot with Vince, whether it's things like guys losing in their hometown

for no reason.

I mean, I'm not saying everyone has to win, like Eddie Gilbert at Memphis.

That doesn't have to be that way everywhere.

But it became like a thing to almost like fuck with the wrestler.

And I don't think right now Triple H and Nick Kahn and Lee Fitting are fucking with the wrestlers.

They're collaborating with them.

And,

you know, happy wife, happy life, happy wrestling locker room, happy fan base.

Who knows?

Well, and, you know, at the top,

the Nick Khan's and the TKO people and the Ari Shapiros and Manny Emmanuel.

Ari Emmanuel, Ari Emmanuel, Mark Shapiro.

Mark Shapiro.

Well, or it could be Ari Shapiro and Mark Emmanuel.

It could be, but those are different people that don't work for this company or have well, regardless.

It's a new day.

They're just maximizing revenue.

They're used to.

It was almost like when some city government heard a wrestling show was coming to town, they're like, oh, shit, we got to try to put a stop to that.

Now the fucking towns are paying them to please take millions of dollars to come here.

Ah, Christ.

All righty.

Well, they were in Cleveland Brown Stadium for SummerSlam is what they were in or for or there to do.

Yes, they were all of the above and so much more.

You never know what's going to happen with that summertime spectacular.

Yes, the end of summer.

Now it's in the middle, SummerSlam.

Now it's right dead in the middle where you can't get around it.

And what a fucking house.

What a stadium.

You know, the last time I was there, it was Municipal Stadium.

I have worked Cleveland at a stadium wrestling show.

Of course, it was a stadium baseball and wrestling show.

In the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium, 1987, the Indians bought a show from Crockett and the Midnight Wrestled, as I recall, the Rock and Roll Express.

Really?

Anything else interesting about that show?

Well,

funny that you might ask that.

Like, was it after a game or was it a day where the team was out of town?

How did it work?

No, no, it was after.

It was, they bought a show.

It was after a game.

They played a baseball game.

It was an afternoon deal.

And they played a baseball game.

And then they had like a four or five matches, I recall, wrestling show.

And it was at the old stadium back.

And

from what I remember, the crowd was nothing like

the SummerSlam because a lot of people weren't going to see the Indians back in those days, but there was still probably

15,000 or whatever.

And that's why they had that, the Super Bowl of Wrestling back in 1972, Johnny Powers and Pedro Martinez, the NWF, in the same building as I'm talking about.

And that flopped, and they didn't draw, but maybe 10,000 people.

So, because it was an over-booked concept.

Tony Khan must have learned more from

Johnny Powers than anybody else.

But at the...

That's who he models his hair after.

Well, there you go.

But no, but at the old stadium, so we had midnight rock and roll, and they told me, I've told you this story before, but they

told me, they said,

we got to build the ring now.

They got to put the ring up after the baseball game because they put the ring next to home plate so people could see what was going on.

So

we are going to call an intermission, but go out and cut a promo and kill a little time, and then we'll call an intermission.

We'll get the ring up in that time.

And so I went out there and some people had come because they advertised, and Crockett was on TV in Cleveland, and they knew what was going on with the NWA, and so they had come to see the wrestling.

But there was some people

that just came to see the goddamn Cleveland Indians play baseball, right?

And they weren't used to hearing wrestling promos because they might not have watched wrestling.

So when I went out in the first 45 seconds,

I said the last people the Indians beat was Custer.

And this, you know, why did they put the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame here?

Name one Rock and Roll star ever from Cleveland, the mistake on the lake.

I fired them up so bad they started throwing shit

and were trying to climb over the God.

I don't know what they call the

fencing they have between the grandstands and the fucking field in baseball.

And the baseball people came and gave me the egg.

He said, go ahead and cut it off now.

Go on by.

Well,

you killed enough time.

But that was a, you know,

they had the Cleveland Indians were playing ball then in this dilapidated rundown stadium, and they didn't draw 20,000 people.

I don't think it's the same stadium.

Well, no, that's what I'm saying.

Back then,

they're in a dilapidated stadium, and they didn't draw 20,000 people.

And now they got this giant fucking

Super Bowl stadium, and they've got 60,000 people there for fucking wrestling.

Do you like the movie Major League?

I'm trying to remember if I ever watched the movie Major League.

Really?

It seems like it would be right down your alley.

Charlie Sheen, Wesley Snipes, Tom Behringer, the Cleveland Indians suck, and they somehow turn it around to get their ex-showgirl owner and really teach her a lesson.

I've seen the poster.

I remember the poster.

We need to do a review.

You may like this movie.

Did they pattern the owner on Marge Schott?

No, more like Hankunkel, maybe.

No, actually, I I don't know.

It wasn't like Marge Shot, but you may, I'm very serious.

You may actually really enjoy that movie more than any other baseball movie ever.

Was this before Charlie Sheen went mad?

Before.

Wow, you hear that thunder?

Oh, now they're coming for you?

Holy shit.

That's a long thunder.

No, Charlie Sheen had already gone mad.

It's just it wasn't out in the public really yet.

Okay, so we didn't know that yet.

Yeah.

Well, we'll

check back in with that.

Speaking of people that have gone mad,

the people went mad over Triple H

at the start of the fucking show.

They

time to play the game and Triple H makes his entrance into the aisle.

Well, he didn't even have to walk all the way to the ring.

It might put too much stress on him.

But he does the promo in the aisle and welcomes everybody to SummerSlam.

And now they love him.

Whereas before, they

no matter that, no matter who was in the creative spot, they knew Vince was in charge.

The fans I'm talking about being they, too many pronouns, pal.

And they didn't like Vince, and they didn't like what Vince was doing to their favorite wrestlers.

They were mad at Vince, and that made the company heels.

And now they have done away with all this fucking bullshit.

Heel,

Evil Empire, McMahon ownership of the company.

People are smart that that's gone.

And Triple H is the guy that's bringing them all this great wrestling with these stars that they love.

So they love him to love is in the air, Brian.

Love the Cupid's arrows are flying.

And the other thing is now this is becoming a semi-regular thing on these big events.

You know, Vince did it for WrestleMania 3.

Everyone remembers that.

But Triple H is now coming out to do the intro for these shows on a lot of these shows.

And it's getting the right reaction.

It's getting people amped up, people are cheering them.

No one's yelling, hey, you bald asshole,

hey, why haven't you returned my calls, dick?

Like, no one, none of that, or anything else.

Uh, there's more thunder, boy, they really are coming for me.

But it's but he's doing intros now.

What do you think of the idea of the promoter, you know, for lack of a better term for the fans?

He's the promoter doing an intro to these shows.

Well, it's he's smart and it's perfect because he's still not

not the top guy in this hierarchy anymore.

But the more that he becomes the face like old Dana White

and his fucking political activities, but he's the face of the UFC.

The more that Triple H is the face of the WWE.

Not only he's doing a good job, but the more he ingrains himself into that position.

Like,

do you want to take me away from them?

They trust me.

The fans love me because I bring them this wrestling.

So it's a smart thing to do, but also it baby faces

the company in general with the fans that have been disaffected.

That's why AEW worked in the beginning to the extent that it did, not that it was ever really any good.

But because it was something for the people who hated Vince and Vince's wrestling to cheer for.

And now that they don't have to hate the other company, and the other company has all the stars, and the other company is giving them shit they want,

that's why only the

really drooly knuckle-draggy type of goofy comedy wrestling fan

is still rabid,

you know, in support of the other guys that don't make sense and present a secondary product.

That's why I think I said this a year ago when this whole thing started to emerge, that AEW has lost their primary weapon, which was that so many people just didn't want to like the WWE.

Now they're like, oh shit, this is great.

And so, and I ain't got time for that other stuff.

That's just me, but I think it

there may be something to that fucking thought, just if you dig down in it.

But then Triple H,

I'll say this and I'll let you comment, Brian, got heat with me by introducing Jelly Roll,

who sang something in the ring.

I bet now that he's a celebrity, he's rethinking those prison tattoos on his fucking face.

I don't know.

It's kind of the end thing now with some of the kids, especially if, you know, you want to show that you're hard.

Well, but I don't care whether he's hard or not.

By the way, did you see the size of that belly?

He probably can't tell whether he's hard or not.

Again, I don't know.

What was the thing?

Well, the thing with Jelly Roll, he walked in the gym one day where I was working out.

You?

And I, yeah, I was working out.

He walked into gym.

And I said, holy shit, look at you, the size of you.

You're fat.

And he said, yeah, I know I'm fat.

And I said, How long has it been since you've seen your dick?

And he said, It's been a long time.

And I said, Why don't you dye it?

And he said, Why?

What color is it now?

All right.

You know, there's no reason to, once again,

this man has to go through life with those tattoos.

There's no reason to make fun of his family.

On his face, on his fucking face.

Anyway, and the Miz is the host in the crowd.

He's the host with the least.

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But they started out with the women's title: Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan,

Rhea Ripley, accompanied by Dominic Mysterio, Mommy, and

Pooh Pooh are back together again.

What did she call him?

Dom

Dom Dom, Dum Dum Bam Bam, whatever.

Anyway,

you know,

I think you will probably agree with me here

that Rhea Ripley is the best talent currently in women's wrestling and maybe of all time in women's wrestling at an in-ring level.

She's very good on promos and she's really over, but just in-ring, she stands out, I think, above any other female in the business.

And I've I agree.

You asked me, so I'm going to jump in on here and make sure I'm on the record.

I agree.

And in terms of who we've seen here in the United States on TV, I don't think anyone's ever been better than her.

And at the same time, I've said that

not much on Liv Morgan,

but they've told a great story here.

And

they've got the people into it.

And I like this because Liv Morgan is still in the ring to me as sloppy and unbelievable.

And I just, I don't, I don't get it.

And, you know, if she was a little weasly manager or something, blah, blah, blah, I'd like her a lot more.

But nevertheless, the match was good because Rhea Ripley can make something out of any kind of a match and because people were into it because of the story.

So Liv is still not Mildred Burke,

but this worked.

And again,

there was some element of psychology and logic placed in it that Rhea is twice her size and she ran from Rhea and hid from her until finally Rhea caught her and beat her up for a while.

But then, when

Rhea had a miscalculation and got their bad shoulder run into the turnbuckle,

then she could sell the bad shoulder, which she does so well,

and gave her a reason to sell for tiny little live and to be at a disadvantage against tiny little live.

And,

you know, again, Ripley's, the basics, basics, the facials, the little things are fantastic that

I got to be honest with you, most women, even the really good women, don't pick up on.

And I would have to be sitting here breaking down video to show you what I'm talking about.

But

anyway,

I'm not sure

that I like the idea.

At one point, Liv Morgan goes for the dive on Rhea.

She's on the floor, and Dominic shoves Rhea out of the way and eats the dive.

And that was fine for a spot like it was.

People reacted to it.

But with where they ended up going,

I wish they hadn't have done that to me.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't want to spoil it for the people who haven't heard it yet.

You think it was too much doing it that first time?

It doesn't make sense with what's going to happen later.

Why would he want her to miss?

You see what I'm saying?

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, unless they're going gonna come up with some argument but what's the argument and he could have easily have gone looked up and seen her flying and gone oh and put his hands over his head because he is a chicken shit prick and and you wouldn't have he wouldn't have committed

and he could have you know got out of the way whatever anyway

finally after ria

had sold the shoulder

It's out.

She's screaming.

It's out to people.

She does the deal where she runs it into the desk and, quote, puts it back in and makes her come back.

Is that a Mel Gibson thing?

Because he's from Australia too?

Oh, I don't know.

I thought, you know, he's a schmuck.

I don't know if anyone goes based on that.

Do you think that was done

in this match?

Well, Stacey pointed that out because she said, well, that's what Mel Gibson was doing in the movies.

And that's where they got the idea because he's Australian.

I don't know.

He didn't write the movie.

Well, he goddamn perpetrated it.

What do you think of that spot?

Because that was again done in a similar fashion later in this match.

I think if she did it once, it was fine.

When she did it again, I'm like, you know, if my shoulder had been separated, I don't know if I want to run it into that turnbuckle again another couple times.

But nevertheless, it wasn't a great match.

Liv is awkward, but they got the story.

And Liv kept going to the arm.

And finally, then they did a spot.

Here's again.

Liv Morgan gets a chair and comes in the ring.

And the referee stands there and looks at her.

This is not a no disqualification match.

But she just, because she hasn't used it yet, somehow if you bring a foreign object into the ring and get caught, it's a disqualification rule has morphed into,

well, we'll just stand there and maybe admonish you until you actually kill somebody with it, and then we're going to punish you for it.

So

Liv then goes to hit Rhea with the chair, but Rhea kicks her and she drops the chair.

And the referee leaves it laying in the right place because it's in the right place.

This is starting to sound like lazy booking.

And it was.

They want to do something, but goddamn, take some more care to get there.

So the referee doesn't pick the chair up and Rhea hits the riptide.

on Liv and then sees the chair and picks it up.

And all the day she thinks she's going to have good luck and draws back.

And then Dominic grabs the chair and takes it away from her

and says, You can't win like this.

Me with the referee has tried to do nothing.

So Dominic says, You can't win like this.

And she's like, Why can't I fucking win like this?

And as they're discussing this, Liv kicks Rhea into Dominic,

who gets knocked down.

And then Liv hits her sloppy finish where she jumps into the ropes and falls backwards and whatever and gets a two count.

And then Dominic slides the chair back in the ring and draws the referee

so that

one would think Rhea Ripley could pick up the chair and he's had a change of heart, but instead, where he slid it in,

Liv ran and jumped into the ropes and did her sloppy finish to Rhea on the chair and pinned Rhea Ripley one, two, three.

And then everybody, what the fuck, what the fuck?

And then Liv rolls out, and Dominic,

that no good, that, that, that reprehensible cad,

that bounder, that rap scallion,

he picked Liv up and he hugged and he kissed her right on the mouth and everything

and left with Liv and ran out on Rhea.

And you just know she's going to have to do something about that.

If I was in high school again, I could appreciate this more, but the people are into it.

You know, Dominic and Liv together could be a heat machine.

Just a heat machine.

And I don't work for nobody.

You

make me think of something.

I'm trying to make you stop.

When Dominic was first with Rhea, she was still a heel to the point where the fans weren't cheering her yet.

Yes.

Now it's awkward.

Now it changes everything.

All of a sudden, now he's with the...

I don't think, is there any woman in the women's division with more heat than Liv Morgan?

Well, probably not because she's the one that just stole Dominic away from Rhea.

That means she's one of the mean girls.

I think she's actually personally, I think she saved Dominic a lot of heartbreak because Rhea was going to trade up at some point.

She's too big of a star to have little Dominic trailing around with her.

Well, we'll see what happens, but that was the opening match.

I thought it was a fun match.

Whatever sloppiness you're attributing to Liv Morgan, Rhea Ripley saved.

Like the spot where she landed on the chair, all these different things.

Oh, yeah.

Rhea Ripley, the way she moves around the ring.

You believe she's hurt a lot even when she's not.

She's, I think, the very best we've ever seen yeah so that's so that's why you're saying you can accept uh live if live is even if live is sloppy you wouldn't mind sloppy live morgan

once again ladies and gentlemen jim cornet

well in the in the back

in the back of the building the judgment day clubhouse dominic priest came in and was pissed and is asking jd funco and Finn and Carlito, where's Dominic?

And then he snatched Finn up.

Did you know about this?

And Finn's like, no.

Well, where is the little prick?

And everybody scampers out to find Dominic.

They put out the APB.

And because Priest is not happy about what's happened here, he has brought dishonor to the Judgment Day.

He asked for the prick McAfee yelled piece of shit, I think, at the end of the first match.

I think Asshole may have gotten on this show as well.

Yeah, he was on it.

He was on it, but he was in one of the later matches.

What do you think, though, of this?

It's not the attitude error or anything, but the idea that they're opening up the language thing.

So if you are watching with a kid still, they're now just introducing all.

I mean, we're a few weeks away, maybe from fuck.

Well, see, the thing is, I used to on pay-per-view, you know, okay.

Yes, then you could say asshole or, you know, prick or whatever, but now

this is not really pay-per-view.

It's on Peacock.

So the kids have it in their very own home.

But I guess, have you seen the the kids running around the fucking hills and valleys these days?

They probably heard worse than asshole.

But it is quite a

departure from when they couldn't say boo to a goose because Vince was mad that they wouldn't get a sponsorship from Gerber Baby Food or whatever.

What do you think of this dynamic?

The idea that Priest is upset that Rhea, who he was one of the founders of Judgment Day with, was screwed over by Dominic.

Well, that's perfect with where they're going later on, which we kind of

called all this shit, didn't we?

Pretty much all of it.

I think we have to go back and look and listen to our predictions, but I think we were fairly well accurate in much of the things that we said.

As far as the way the things were going to turn out here, flesh out, shake out,

rattle and roll out, whatever, who was going to win.

We'd done pretty good, didn't we?

Speaking of which, for the Intercontinental title, Sami Zayn versus Braun Breaker.

And I'm sure that a lot of the

modern fan, the AEW type of fan, would just be

just putrefied by this match because it didn't go that long.

It didn't seem like it was seven or eight minutes.

I don't know if it was that.

But oh, what a rotten match because they

made the step to

get Braun Breaker over

by beating Sami Zayn,

who went 25 minutes with Roman Reigns in about seven fucking minutes.

And that's smart.

And that's what it doesn't hurt

Zami Zayn or Jaja Gabor.

It doesn't hurt Sami Zayn.

He's already over.

It was done well.

There was a reason for it.

And both guys did it perfectly.

And Braunbreaker

gets over as a goddamn beast.

It was back and forth, Sammy using the

speed and agility and Braunbreaker being physical and mauling him.

And apparently now

McAfee was calling it a Brekensteiner instead of a Frankensteiner.

There was some controversy.

People have been trying to analyze what it was he said because it sounds so similar.

But he's been calling it the Breken Steiner, but they're still

acknowledging that Braun Breaker is a Steiner because Rick and Scott Steiner were in the goddamn skybox watching the match.

Yeah, this doesn't clarify that he's not a member of the Franken family.

This has nothing to do with that.

Yeah, well, you know, and I'll tell you what, if he was a member of the Franken family, he would have a goddamn ton of money because after they invented Frankenberry,

they fucking cleaned up.

Cereal magnates is what they were.

What do you think of Booberry?

Well, I wasn't much on Booberry.

What about Count Chocula?

Count Chocula, I don't think you should mix your chocolate with your cereal.

But did you notice that Booberry was the one that disappeared?

You never saw Booberry again.

I've seen them in recent years.

I guess they bring it back for people who still want to taste it.

What do you mean, chocolate shouldn't be with cereal?

You don't like Cocoa Puffs or something?

No, no.

Chocolate should not be with cereal.

Cereal is in the morning and chocolate is in the evening.

Don't you know?

In the evening.

No, I didn't know this.

Chocolate's in the evening.

Yes, because chocolate is a dessert.

It's a candy.

It's something you eat after a meal.

You can't mix your chocolate with your breakfast unless you stayed up all night.

Anyway, so they had a Braun and Sammy.

They had a really quick back and forth, boom, fast paced.

Braun hit a big spear, got the speed up for the big spear, and speared him one, two, three.

And won the intercontinental title as we've predictified he would.

And it's also, Brian, feel free to chime in on this.

The ugliest championship belt ever, that intercontinental belt they're using right now.

You can't remember what it looks like, can you?

Oh, no, I was listening to the rain outside.

I apologize.

No, I mean, it's, I don't think it's that bad.

You think it's that bad?

I think it looks like shit.

Why?

I really did.

Just

one color.

It's just like one.

It's one color.

It kind of looks,

you know, it doesn't stand out.

It doesn't have prominent features.

It's just, it's like a hubcap.

A fancy hubcap.

Speaking of a fancy hubcap,

can Logan Paul find any weirder-looking fucking friends?

Well, when you're looking for unemployed people to hang on, there's only so many people you could pick from.

Every one of his friends, they are all named by their initials.

They all dress inappropriately, look very.

He came out with some skinny tattooed guy named MGK.

That's Machine Gun Kelly.

He's a musician.

Well, he must be.

He had his fingernails painted.

He had a razor blade earring.

He weighed about 120 pounds, even though he stood apparently about six feet tall.

And he had, again, an

obvious prison tattoo.

How long did he spend in jail to get all those tattoos?

What the?

Who are these fucking people?

Are you slapping stuff?

What are you doing over there?

I turned my mic.

My chair creaked here as I moved in it.

Were you slapping before that, before the creak?

I may have put my pen in again.

Okay, that may have been it.

That may have been it.

Would you like me to slap somebody?

I have a few candidates if you need a list.

Yeah.

Well, anyways, Logan Paul and L.A.

Knight for the U.S.

title.

And Logan Paul comes out with the skinny guy named MGK, I guess, machine gun Kelly, you say.

He's so skinny.

When he gets a sunburn, he looks like a thermometer.

When he sticks his tongue out and turns sideways, he looks like a zipper.

He could hula hoop with a Cheerio.

He has to run around in a shower to get wet.

All right.

He could fucking limbo through a garden hose.

Anyway,

they had the match for the U.S.

title.

And as we mentioned, LA Night needs to produce.

But the people here were with him.

He drove up in the prime truck that he stole Friday night and broke one of the windows out and then made the entrance.

And Logan Paul jumpstarts it and they fight on the floor and

they fight into the prime cart.

And

Logan Paul spits prime in L.A.

Knight's face.

I bet that could have blinded you.

That kind of battery acid stuff.

And he cleared off the desk and then L.A.

did the yeah heads to the desk and gave Logan Paul a big neck breaker on the desk.

And then they got in the ring and the referee rang the bell.

Remember when,

again,

whenever both guys got in a ring or came near the ring and they started fighting, the referees, oh shit, ring the bell.

Here we go.

Now they can fight apparently for 10 minutes.

But as long as they don't both get in the ring, the referee doesn't have to ring the fucking bell.

When did this rule change pop up?

I don't know.

They change all sorts of rules for counting and referees, and what's a DQ and a countdown?

Countdown.

Countdown.

Countdown.

Instant replay.

I get to hit it.

Well, anyway,

this was, again, it was a good match.

It wasn't anything revolutionary.

It was exactly what it needed to be.

Babyface against heel.

They love L.A.

Knight.

They hate Logan Logan Paul.

And so LA Knight cooked on him, and then Logan Paul posted him and started some heat.

LA Knight fought from underneath.

Finally, made a comeback.

You know, hit an elbow off the top rope and got a two count.

And then

Logan Paul did a springboard moonsault to the floor on LA Knight out of fucking, I don't know where the fuck he came up with that.

That was fucking incredible.

There was no, like, you know, okay, he's going to run through the ropes and set it up, and you can anticipate it.

It was quick, and he hit it perfectly.

And that's the thing: this guy is 6'2 or 6'3 or whatever he is.

He's fucking 200 and

enough pounds that he's got abs and a chest.

It's not like the

Cirque De Soleil, you know, crew doing this shit when something like that from that guy

gets people's attention.

And then

Logan Paul hit a KO punch with his

steel-impacted hand and got a two-count.

And then L.A.

Knight did his thing, ran to the top rope, and did a superplex and got a two-count.

Almost didn't get Logan Paul turned over, but he got him.

And then suddenly L.A.

Knight goes out on the floor and just pulls two of Logan Paul's stooges over the rail and starts kicking the shit out of them.

But when that happens,

MGK hands Logan Paul the brass nucks that are on a chain

around his neck.

So now he's not only carrying nugs, but he's got a big chain too.

And that's why I made a note.

Why are all of Logan Paul's friends people that look like they should be on probation?

You know, I think he should maybe vet his social circle more carefully.

And then Logan Paul hits L.A.

Knight with the nucks and tries a buckshot Lariat, but L.A.

Knight ducked it and hit his finish one, two, three.

So this was not an Eddie Graham finish.

It was basic and

easy, but it got a big pop because the people wanted to see L.A.

Knight win that belt.

It was a good match.

It was an okay finish, but it was definitely the right result.

And now they've kept L.A.

Knight

in a position where if he had failed here, I'm afraid people

would have not have said, yeah.

But now they've got him in a position whereas they still dislike Logan Paul as much as they always did.

It didn't hurt him a bit.

So,

again,

nobody had to die in the making of this motion picture, and people got exactly what they wanted.

Yeah, really good match.

Logan doesn't lose anything.

LA Knight needed this one.

This was make or break, and now he gets a big title win in the stadium.

And we'll see where they go from here.

I mean, Logan Paul is not exactly full-time.

We had heard rumors that he may be at some point, but it's not happened yet.

And

this way you get the title on someone who's on every single week.

Well, but at the same time, it doesn't necessarily mean it's over because obviously Logan Paul can be,

you know,

incensed about this and want to get even and whatever so they can work a little program.

But now

when Logan Paul gets heat on L.A.

Knight,

it's not doing any damage to L.A.

Knight's aura within reason because L.A.

Knight's still the champion.

And this fucking guy is jumping him from behind and trying to get an advantage or whatever.

But L.A.

Knight has proven himself.

He won the big one.

Now can he keep the big one?

So that, you know,

I think it's better for our friend L.A.

if I can be so bold as to use his first name and call him L.A.

I don't want to overstep my bounds of familiarity.

What is it supposed to stand for?

A Lawrence

Allen?

Well, who would L.A.

Knight be?

One would think a Los Angeles, but then...

What if it turns out his name is Logan, too?

Well,

they say that he's from Maryland, but he's L.A.

Knight, but, you know, he could be L.A.

Day.

L.A.

Day, L.A.

Knight, Marianne.

Same thing if he's from L.A.

and, you know, you got the Boogie Knights out there.

Maybe he's got a large phallic symbol.

And that's why they call him L.A.

I don't know how this got from one place to another here.

I just said, what do you think L.A.

stands for?

And

you went to Boogie Knights and large phallic symbols.

I don't know, but see, that's what I'm hearing when I listen.

To the voices in my head that are provided to me by the Raycon Everyday Wireless Earbuds.

Now, Brian, you may think that I'm listening to you when we do these programs, but I'm not.

What?

I'm listening to music on my everyday earbuds, and I'm just speaking into the microphone.

And sometimes it works out in conjunction with what you're saying, and sometimes it doesn't.

Because I think most of the fans realize that if they've listened to a couple of these programs halftime, it doesn't sound like we're really talking to each other.

We're saying completely different things.

So therefore, that's the reason.

And you can do the same thing, folks.

If you don't want to listen to a friend of yours or a family member or a spouse, a significant other, a teacher, an authority figure, a probation officer, somebody in your life that you would just prefer,

that if their lips were moving, you couldn't hear a goddamn thing except what you wanted to listen to.

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They've got the new quick charge function, where if you charge it for 10 minutes, boom, you get 90 minutes of battery.

And see,

that's more minutes of battery than you'll get for 10 minutes of charging anywhere else, Brian.

Can you deny that?

I cannot deny what I don't understand.

Well, and you've proven my point.

The ergonomic design will fit the widest range of ears.

Folks, no matter what, if you've got if you've got satchel ears the size of an Indian elephant or if you've got little dainty shell-like ears, it doesn't matter.

You just lube these things up and give them a good shove in with both thumbs.

No lube required.

That's right.

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No, there's no lube.

They come slicker than whale shit in an ice flow already, folks.

When they come out of the box, hold on to them.

They might just hop out of your hand and slip right down the floor.

They're easy to manage in your hand.

Well, with your fingers, they melt in your hand, not in your ears.

They don't melt.

You never have to worry about them melting.

Well, don't put your head in the oven while you're wearing them because we don't want to test this fucking guarantee.

Just don't put your head in the oven.

Let's leave it.

Well, no, if you're not wearing the raycons, you can go ahead and stick your head, but

that's going to tell you how to live your life.

We tell them how to live their life.

When it comes to the oven, don't stick your head in the oven.

When it comes to the oven, that's right.

Well,

but folks, you don't need to pay the price of a brand new oven for these everyday earbuds.

They're more affordable than the big hoity-toity brands.

The people that put out the quality stuff, they, well, I guess I shouldn't say it like that.

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So

these people right here, the Raycon folks, they're not going to steer you wrong.

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They're not going to cheat you out of anything.

Well, not that you're aware of.

And if you're not convinced right now, Raycon offers a 30-day happiness guarantee for easy returns.

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Now, after 30 days, you know, well, we can't make any guarantees where any of us are going to be a month from now.

There's no way to know.

Nope, we can guarantee Raycon will be here in 30 days and into the future.

Well, they'll be here in 30 days.

If you don't pay them, they'll be here in less than 30 days, knocking on your door to get their money.

Once again, let's talk about what what you get when you pay your money, not people who don't pay their money.

Well, you get multi-point connectivity.

You get active noise cancellation and customizable sound styles, the awareness mode, all of those things.

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But right now, you can go to buy Raycon.

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And listen to this, Brian.

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That's just, that's incredible.

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Is that, that's the way it works, right?

No.

Well, the math now, I've done the math.

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Ladies and gentlemen, no math required.

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Delicious?

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Don't eat the earbuds.

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that's right raycon well now brian it was that time in the program at summer slam that comes at some point all the time where you get up and you go and you take a poop and that happened when the women's title was defended between Bailey and Refrigerator Jacks.

And

I know the show is going along smoothly and nothing's been too crummy and

that type of thing.

But

I can't watch this giant Barco lounger fucking roam around the ring.

It gives me anxiety, like the kids say.

Did you watch this?

First of all, you never said these kind of things about Jerry Blackwell or even Stan Frazier.

It was never, I can't watch this walking couch.

You didn't say anything shit about them.

No, because Frazier was a walking fucking appliance box.

Oh, well,

that settles that.

That settles that.

No, I always said Frazier was the shits, too.

Lawler could, every once in a while, could draw some money with him.

The fact that you knew she was going to win the title, did that help or hurt you watching the match?

I didn't really know, but I suspectified because of the push they've been giving her.

And this whole thing with

Tiffany Stratton, I was trying trying to think of the name of the power tool that she's named after.

It wasn't Black and Decker, it's Briggs and Stratton.

Maybe Tiffany Black or Tiffany Decker

would have been better.

Well, you see, if you would accept their offer of being the head of creative, you could have suggested that.

But instead, no, you got to stay home.

Well, that's

because

they got the deal with Pepsi, and

I wanted a sprite contract.

You see, Pepsi's not the number two anymore.

Who is number two?

I think I saw that it was a certain one, but before I make a fool of myself, let me double check.

Number two.

Of course, we're saying the soft drink field we're talking about.

Dr.

Pepper is now the number two soda.

Dr.

Peeper has overtaken Pepsi?

Dr.

Pepper has overtaken Pepsi.

Well,

that surprises me.

Where do you stand on Coke versus Pepsi?

Well, I don't like either one because they got the caffeine and that'll poison me.

But I was always a Pepsi person

previously, but I at the same time

would acknowledge the fact that Coke is the original.

Coke is like Kleenex.

It's just

ubiquitous.

And I can't believe that Dr.

Pepper with that weird concoction of synthetic flavors that they've got going for him has passed by by one of the great American cola companies.

And they say he's not even a doctor.

He never passed any examination that I've heard of.

I've never seen a diploma.

All right.

Well, it makes me want to have a Dr.

Pepper.

So why don't we get back to Bailey versus Niaja?

Well, we'll go to the refrigerator.

And

well done.

Well done.

We'll just reach our hand in.

And Bailey foiled a bonsai.

Fridge was going for the bonsai and Bailey got up under her and not only power bombed her off the buckles, but carried her.

So I have to tip my hat that I'm not wearing here.

I'll tip my headset

to Bailey for that one.

Hit the elbow off the top two count.

And then here runs out Tiffany with the briefcase.

And Bailey nails her off the apron and the refrigerator fucking stops Bailey and hits her with two power bombs and two working bonsais.

At least she

either she likes Bailey or they gave her a talking to

about the plummeting of the ass into people's rib cages.

One, two, three, the refrigerator wins the match

for the other women's title.

Sort of like the other white meat.

This is the other women's title.

It's the pork product of the WWE.

What did you think of this?

You saw more of it than I did.

Yeah, I mean, it was fine for what it was.

I did see a minute or two, and then I decided to go to bed.

This is actually what chased me off.

Of the post-show press conference.

And here was the big, mean heel Nia Jax, just very happy talking about how...

Grateful she is for the opportunity.

And

so it's like you can't even say like, okay, she's finally getting it.

And she's a great monster heel.

No, she immediately wanted to like celebrate with the world that they gave her the title at SummerSlam.

Oh, Christ.

But we'll see.

We'll see where they go.

She's a very polite monster.

Yes.

It's what you're saying.

She's very polite.

She wants to thank everybody for the opportunities they give her.

Would Frankenstein have thanked the villagers for the pitchforks?

I mean, the heel went and hugged her mom at Ringside and then

gave a hug to the Rock's mom as well.

That's usually not a heel move to start hugging senior citizens at ringside.

Yeah, hugging old women and mothers at ringside.

It worked for Abdullah the Butcher for all those years.

All right, let's move along because the main event was next.

Not the last match, but the main event of SummerSlam was next.

It was, of course, the grudge match long anticipated and awaited between CM Punk and Drew McIntyre, the Scottish psychopath, with

Seth Franklin Rollins doing his

best job of dressing as Elton John if he was refereeing.

And I mean, this

to me was the main event because this

they wanted to see what was going to happen with Cody and Solow,

whether Roman was going to come back, what the bloodline was going to do.

Nobody really believed Solo was going to win the belt.

And the anticipation was more as a personal issue on

McIntyre and Punk.

And it was perfect.

As I said,

they had their first match.

And still

the whole focus was

really really the interaction with Seth Rollins.

So they've had their first match on a major event, and they still have all kinds of shit they can do in a rematch without Seth as referee, or

both of these guys in singles matches against Seth because they set everything up.

So this was Britain.

They didn't waste a thing here.

It was like when they were making sausage, they got the snout in, the anus, they got everything.

They didn't waste a bit of this.

And you got

Seth's entrance and the people

chant and sing and whoa.

And you got McIntyre's entrance and he's got heat and the people are

on him.

And then you got Laca Mussolini in Cleveland.

And you got the big, it's clobbering time.

And you got the in a stadium.

As Michael Cole said, the first time in 10 years that CM Punk has had a singles match on WWE television.

So, this was this was the big fight feel.

And they did it perfect because,

again, they've still got, they have so many other directions to go and so many other things they can do, even in a rematch with Punk and Drew.

The crowd was hot for it.

And the little things, the little interactions.

Punk threw his hoodie on Seth

before the match even started.

And Seth just doesn't sell it and takes it.

And as he's walking to throw it out of the ring, wipes his ass with it and then throws it.

But anyway,

should we talk about the match now that I've droned on about

the concept of they've still got every which way to go?

Yes.

We should talk about the match.

We should talk about the match.

They laid their shit in

and they would basically

started out.

One guy would have

the

momentum, would have charge of things until Seth would exert his authority.

And then while they were arguing, the other guy would take over.

And then

when something was happening that Seth didn't

particularly mind seeing,

like Punk is ramming McIntyre's head into the stairs.

Seth is tying his shoes.

And again, this is, I've seen these spots when I was 10,

when you had a baby face as a special referee.

But it works here because it's so, it's so old, it's new.

And nobody has bothered to do this shit in a logical manner for so long.

So anyway, so Seth is turning his back on stuff at, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And Punk is back to selling his baby face.

And he did that.

Drew got heat well.

And at the same time as Seth was doing some things where he's letting them play,

he didn't start counting

cockeyed.

All the counts that he gave were normal on false finishes.

So he wasn't.

He wasn't tipping his hand that he was just going to fuck somebody outright.

He's just letting them fight, right?

That's what it means.

And

finally,

at one point, Drew gets a chair and Seth sees it.

And Drew tells him, hey, just turn around and let this happen.

And Seth does, but then as Drew draws back,

Seth grabs the chair because he can't go that far, right?

It's got to be hand-to-hand.

And then they did the spot reminiscent of

Sean Michaels, Bret Hart, The Undertaker, where when Drew pifaced Seth, Seth swung the chair and Drew ducked, and Seth almost hit Punk, but he held up.

So again,

this is like some Eddie Graham shit they've laid out here where they're going back to previous matches and previous things that have happened years ago and

destroying some clichés.

And then finally, Drew pulls out the bracelet that

he stole from Punk and he put it on.

and he went for a kick, but Punk kicked him and started his comeback and hit the knees and the elbow off the top

and then got the vice on him, but he saw the bracelet and the bracelet's more important to him than winning.

So he pulls the bracelet off of Drew's wrist and gets it back, but Drew then has the opportunity to hit a kick and gets a two count.

And now he's dropped the bracelet, so Seth gets the bracelet and puts it on, Just so nothing happens to it.

But then they go back and forth, and Punk calls for the go-to-sleep.

But when he picks up Drew, he sees Seth wearing the bracelet and drops Drew.

And then Punk and Seth are arguing.

And Drew blasts Punk from behind into Seth, and Seth goes to the floor.

Punk foils the DDT and hits the go-to-sleep and covers, but there's no referee.

And the fans count to seven, and Seth gets in one, two,

and he kicks.

And now Punk is yelling at Seth and Seth's yelling back at him.

We don't want you here.

It's not all about you, asshole.

So Punk picks Seth up and gives him the fucking GTS

and takes his bracelet back from Seth.

And he turns around and Drew kicks him into balls and hits the Claymore kick.

And McIntyre covers and now Seth is coming over.

And now he reluctantly

counts one, two, three.

And then he rolls out and takes his referee shirt off and throws it down and walks the back.

And Drew takes the bracelet back and stands over Punk.

That's the way you set up a fucking three-way.

That's the way you set up rematches.

That's the way you fucking work a special referee, goddamn deal.

Everything made sense, and you've still got the opportunity to have Punk and Drew have a whole different match the next time they have one with a regular referee.

Your thoughts, my fine feathered friend.

At the very end, I have no feathers and you know that.

You're very well aware of that.

I've looked for the feathers.

They're not there.

At the very end of the match, or at the very end when Drew picked up the bracelet again, my first thought was he's going to break it.

And what will that do?

But instead, he stored it away.

So

that continues.

Kind of feels like in the end, Punk has to get the bracelet back, and then AJ has to slap whoever, I guess Drew, and then Larry has to piss on him while he's down to really make the comeback complete at this point.

I thought it was good.

You know, I thought the match was okay.

By the end, it got really clever, and I like that.

But, and I thought Rollins, you know, again, my personal taste, Rollins as the referee, dressed the way he was and just being a gimmick was a bit distracting from the seriousness of it.

I held my nose on the outfit because it's, it's Seth and it's the WWE.

But, you know, it started off really hot with them doing a thing where you stand in the middle of the ring and you trade the blows.

But

I don't know.

For two guys that hate each other, it felt like, to me, it felt like it almost had to be amped up a little more as a match.

But I like everything they did and everywhere they went at the end, because obviously, like you said, it sets up lots of things.

Well,

this was their first singles match, but they've been, because of circumstances, they've been going back and forth for six fucking months.

So if they'd have come out there and done tables and chairs and ladders and blood and guts and, you know,

barbed wire dildos, whatever,

then where do they go in a rematch?

You've had the match.

You've had this way the distraction of the referee

being involved in the middle of it, keeping things from happening, and at the same time being a focal point.

They didn't need to do all that shit because there wasn't a spot for it, and they've still got it where they can do it in the future.

So, I agree with you.

Yes, they should do more things, but

this was a great way to save that until.

So imagine this.

They didn't have

a nuclear explosion in the first act of the play.

Do you do Punk versus Rollins as a match before you do the next Punk versus McIntyre?

Or how do you mix it up with these three?

I mean, I think you could.

You definitely do one of these other matches before you do another Punk and Drew.

And I'm not even sure whether it's punk and rollins because you could do something cleverly

on tv before the next big event to build a reason for seth versus drew

and then you know because maybe maybe punk is saying if it hadn't been for that screwy referee i wouldn't have got beat which is kind of true but maybe drew takes it oh now you're blaming the referee well i could fucking kick his ass see i do that accent so good And then Seth is like, oh, fuck you.

I didn't have to count at all.

I could have kicked you in the head.

And then you've got that.

And then Punk fucks Drew out of that.

But then Seth gets mad at Punk.

Then you have Seth and Punk.

But Drew's mad that Seth...

You see where I'm going with this?

You got all kinds of shit.

And that's what it'll be.

All kinds of shit.

Anyway, would you like to move, move along?

How did we have?

No, one more thing.

How did you you think Punk looked in there?

First time we've seen him in the ring, obviously, in quite a while.

And he got hurt, you know, in AEW, the freak injury where he jumped into the crowd and hit his foot on the barricade.

And then the second injury.

And then when he came into the WWE.

So this is the first time we've really seen him in a while.

What did you think?

I thought he looked good.

I don't think he has the...

The cardio of 25-year-old CM Punk, nor do we all.

But at the same time, again,

you don't want Punk in his first match back in that long of a time, coming out off of multiple injuries where he really hasn't wrestled all that much in the last year and a half.

You don't want him trying to do what fucking Edge did and jumping off the top of the cage, right, and breaking his own leg.

I think he's smarter than that, but yeah.

Well, but I'm saying, wait, yes, that's why he didn't do it.

Punk is, but I'm saying you don't want him to

because

you've,

again, this is major money on the line.

And when you can get these people to where they're buying the tickets and they're screaming at the top of their lungs and they're reacting to everything, when the guys are having safe and entertaining matches instead of risky car crashes

that they really do get hurt from, and you can't capitalize on what you've built, and it hurts the business, and it hurts the company, and it hurts the talent.

I don't see there's anything wrong with that.

If the building,

you know, the stadium in Cleveland was half full, then they may need to evaluate what they're doing.

But as far as I can tell, it's pretty fucking full.

And the people were screaming and cheering for things.

It's what I used to tell the guys in Ring of Honor: my God,

in front of 672 people in Milwaukee, and they can't scream any louder already.

And you want to spike pile drive a motherfucker off the fucking roof.

So there's levels to this.

So I thought what they did

told the story, continued the story, gave them multiple places to go,

and it took the people on a fucking ride

without goddamn resorting to anybody having to go have emergency surgery afterwards, for fuck's sake.

Did that answer your question?

Indeed, it did.

Two more minutes.

Two more minutes.

Well, and that's the thing.

You know, Punk's 40 fucking whatever now.

So he don't need to be doing a lot of that screwy shit, but he needs to be relying on his

personality, his ability to connect with the audience, his reputation, and give them their money's worth in ways other than

taking flatback bumps on beds of fucking nails.

And, you know, fortunately, he's in the company where they're all smart enough to want to work toward that goal instead of building fake fucking walls out of dry walls so they can be run through them on forklifts.

I think I can watch him and Drew McIntyre just seethe at each other every single week forever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just fucking react.

Just

see the displeasure that each one of them possesses that the other one is alive on the planet.

It's great.

You believe it because

it's real.

Hey, you know, we can't all be

bosom buddies.

Speaking of the bosom buddies, it was now time for the world title to be on the line before the world title was on the line

when Gunther

challenged Damien Priest.

Boy, this had every opportunity to kind of be a death spot, too, between what they've seen and what they're about to see.

And

I'm not sure that I like this as much as the normal Gunther matches.

But again, they told the exact story they should tell.

They did the exact finish they should do.

And

is it that Priest does a lot of modern stuff, the spinning and the leaping and the kicking in the air and the blocking and the parrying and the thrusting and Gunther is such a

really a great throwback to an old-fashioned Gene Kiniski kind of motherfucker, just comes straight at you.

That

was it a bit of a clash of styles.

Normally, Gunther is timeless, but this was really, a lot of this was really modern.

And you didn't, you didn't, and I'll say that one more thing, and then you respond.

You also, you didn't have the pure baby face and heel dynamic from the start you usually have where Gunther is bullying a smaller guy.

He was trying to make Priest his physical equal, and they transitioned Priest to a babyface by the end, but it wasn't there at the start.

Now you talk.

There's no Priest-Gunther history or feud or anything that really seems like a big deal.

So there was no energy, not that everything could be punk versus McIntyre, but like that at the beginning.

It was just two guys wrestling.

At least Priest was wearing all black.

I don't think purple has helped him.

And he was wearing all black.

And yeah, he wrestles.

Maybe you should go to lavender.

He wrestles a lot of the modern style.

He does a lot of that stuff.

And Gunther, you know, Gunther has wrestled pretty much mostly guys who wrestle that style his whole career.

They also followed Punk McIntyre.

They were also clearly the only match before

what people thought may happen in the main event.

It is kind of the death spot.

You said before something interesting, you thought the finish was what it should be.

Do you mean Gunther winning?

Do you mean the method in which he won it or do you mean the Judgment Day story coming together leading to him winning?

Gunther winning is what they should have done.

And

Finn being responsible is what they should have done.

I don't know if it could have been a little more exciting than what actually happened.

But let's get basically in the match, they

not really a blow by blow.

That's all they did.

Punches, chops, and kicks.

And Gunther's chest was bleeding from the,

and not one of the Jericho blade jobs tried to get one of his Japanese turtles over, but actually he was bruised up.

But they just, they laid it in and had a big guy fight, you know, back and forth until finally they got to the story.

Finn got to ringside to cheer Damian Priest on.

And Priest had fired up and made a comeback and hit a couple clotheslines and a razor's edge and a choke slam

and covered Gunther.

And as the referee goes down to count, Finn rolls in and put Gunther's leg on the ropes and rolled back out.

And then Priest gets up, like, what the fuck happened?

And he looks and he sees the replay on the screen, which is a nice touch because why wouldn't you?

It's on a giant screen.

If you're not sure what happened, they're going to show you again.

No, that was great.

They had a shot behind Priest of him watching the big screen.

So you all got to see how he was brought to know about this.

He was

how the jig was up, as they say.

And there, Finn had his back turned, and he's smiling and doesn't realize until he looks and realizes, ah, shit, he saw that.

And then Priest goes toward Finn, but Gunther got the sleeper from behind and had him down.

And then Priest kind of fought out and reached out and grabbed Finn, but Gunther.

grabbed him from behind and power bombed him, got the sleeper again and put him out.

And that to me was, it was a little flat.

Once that Finn or the priest knew that Finn had done it, he's reaching for him.

If Gunther had come from behind and they had done some kind of exchange, which led to

Gunther either getting a pin or even if fucking, you know, a priest had fucking planted him again, but Finn had given him some kind of elbow in the back or was some pinfall.

When everybody just goes down and lays there for a while after a betrayal,

a betrayal should be followed by a shocking one, two, three.

Oh my God, let everybody react.

When you're watching a guy sitting in a hold, to me, it takes so long.

They're already thinking about what happened.

They're anticipating the guy's lost.

It's not as big a pop when he does lose because they saw it coming.

Have I made all those points halfway clear?

Halfway.

It just, it was a little blah.

A little blah at the end there.

But so now Priest,

Dominic has pissed Priest off by turning on Rhea.

Finn, for reasons I'm sure he'll explain next week on TV, did what he did when he did it.

Priest loses the world title, as we predicted, to branch off into

the Judgment Day.

This kind of like Dusty booking in that they don't want Priest to get even with Gunther.

So Priest has somebody else to go get even with, so the people don't notice that he's not getting even with Gunther.

So everybody's in the right place.

It was just, it was a little blase on the end.

I don't know.

You tell me.

What do you think Judgment Day becomes?

I mean, we'll find out soon enough, obviously.

Do you think it becomes Finn leading JD and Carlito, or does it become Dominic with Live?

And all five of them, then that's the new Judgment Day.

I don't know.

I don't know about that.

Because you got to think: is he going to just go after Finn or is Dominic tied into it?

Because again, it goes into earlier.

You got to assume now he was lying to

Damien about knowing what Dominic was up to, right?

I think Finn, as a single and as a former champion, there, and he's got a track record.

He's got a nice program with Priest for Priest to redeem himself and come out ahead in the end.

And

then I don't see why Priest and JD wouldn't be a tag team and let Dom and Liv be

on their own for a while.

And potentially,

as they're trying to run from Rhea, then potentially you've got the mixtag with Dom and Liv and Rhea and Priest.

But does there need to be a Judgment Day?

Are the people going to set the seats on fire if there's no Judgment Day?

I don't think they'll set the seats on fire.

Is the Judgment Day something that people aren't sick of that you could use as a prop to fill up TV time?

I just wish they'd get rid of the clubhouse.

Well, yeah, who's paying rent on that thing?

Yeah, whose name is it in?

Did they sign a lease?

They're still signing everything in the name of Adam Copeland, apparently.

Is there a security deposit?

I bet Adam Copeland put the security deposit down when he started the whole thing.

Boy, how things change.

Adam Copeland starts a group called the Judgment Day, and now he's home with a broken leg working for the distant number two company.

And a guy that was a flunky of his just lost the world title in front of 60,000 people for the big company.

This is the moment Judgment Day found out their shirts have not been selling as well as they used to.

All right, time to break them up.

But anyway, that I, you know, I don't know.

But everybody's in the right place now.

Gunther is the world champion.

And as we said, he can get heat off of having a belt that people view as secondary by talking about how he's making it more important than the other one that they think is important whereas a babyface couldn't really do that and who's he going to feud with jey user

i hope not but we'll find out

and did you watch any of the miz and r-truth and theory and waller and jelly donut segment

When I saw that the Miz was coming out, he was the host with R-Truth, I used that as my break.

I didn't realize, and now I know for the future, every match, there was like a minimum of 15 minutes between matches.

And if I knew that, I would have used my time better.

But I use this as a chance to go outside and, you know, have my late-night joint.

Well, you didn't make a mistake because

I speed searched the goddamn thing because I don't watch this live because there is 15 minutes in between matches.

But basically, a lot of people on Twitter was, oh, I can't wait to hear Cornette tear this apart.

Well, I didn't even watch it, and I can still tear it apart.

Because

it's not even about why is Ms.

the host?

Why is there a host?

What does the host do?

He came out and announced the crowd.

Triple H could have done that, whatever the case.

57791 is what they're telling people.

And I guess they had to shoehorn our truth in here in some kind of way.

But you talked about earlier, we were both talking about it, that things have improved since Vince has been gone as far as just the really silly, stupid stuff, the distasteful whatever.

But why do the goddamn musicians have to now beat up the wrestlers?

Jelly Donut came in the ring and ended up choke-slamming Austin Theory,

who got all kinds of air for him.

But just because Jelly Donut weighs 500 pounds doesn't mean

that he should be treated like a goddamn physically imposing motherfucker when in actuality, the only way he could probably hurt you is if he fell on you.

And his stomach is so big he couldn't reach you if he was reaching out in front of himself because he can't reach past the end of his fucking belly.

And you could obviously outrun him.

So.

My point is, why do they, all the goddamn musicians, why do they have to let him in the ring to do do wrestling moves to the wrestlers

i assume he got paid to be there he got the promotion of singing his song on a big show

he could buy another couple of face tattoos

but jesus christ why do the musicians have to get to beat up the wrestlers does this happen in the ufc

This is one of those things from Vince that still make Harry Over, where they're so happy to get anyone that they think is a mainstream celebrity or a celebrity somewhere

to be there that they could just completely debase the heels or beat them up.

At this point, Austin Theory absolutely must have pissed off a lot of people.

Yeah, he must have just goddamn horrible heat.

Because when you I didn't watch it, so when you said he got choked by Jelly Roll, I'm like, oh my god, like what?

Not again, Waller right next to him.

It's theory that just made those like the pucks.

Maybe he's one of those guys with one of those personalities.

He beat John Cena at WrestleMania.

And in Jelly Roll beat him at SummerSlam.

Anyway,

it was now time, ladies and gentlemen, for the last match of the evening.

For the WWE Undisputed.

Well, it's actually disputed by the guy that has the other title, but for the WWE title, the big one.

Cody Rhodes and Solo Sokoa, the new tribal chief, and

they gave the big,

the big entrance to Solo, but then they went back in the back and they went all the way to Cody's bus.

The camera's on the bus and watch him get off the bus and tip the bus driver or what and be handed the leash of his dog Pharaoh.

Who wasn't allowed on the bus?

Apparently not, because he was already standing out there waiting for him.

And it was not, he kissed Pharaoh on the head.

See, I love a man who loves his dog.

And he's walking Pharaoh through.

Now, the only thing is he didn't come out with Pharaoh out in the building.

So why was he walking Pharaoh towards?

Couldn't he have just left Pharaoh to watch the monitor like the rest of the family?

But anyway, here's

the story of the entrance is as he's walking through the back, leading the dog, he looks over to the left and he sees Arne Anderson.

And he's,

you mean to tell me that's when Cody first realized that one of his oldest friends was in the building, just hanging out, just there leisurely in a polo shirt.

He was surprised he wasn't in catering.

Well, he looked like he had been there.

And

Arn gave him a pep talk that was not well mic's.

And

Arne doesn't have

the projection that he used to have in his voice.

And

he told Cody that he still has friends.

They're on the way.

You can do that type of thing.

It was a pep talk.

I understand it.

It was, again, another sign of the new administration, the new ownership that Arne was there to begin with.

And he is an important figure in Cody's life and background, and he has been talked about, but this wasn't a stirring

go out there and win one for the Gipper type of speech that you would have thought maybe in that environment.

Should they have done that on the bus where it was a little more intimate, you could hear better?

It may have been something for like the moment before Cody leaves the bus.

He gets to hear some words from Arn, but.

You know, Arne's not really a big rah-rah guy.

You're not going to get that from him.

It's It's not like he's going to stand there like Jimmy Hart and jump in the background and yell, go get him, go.

Well, no, but I'm

a stirring, motivational speech like the Enforcer in the Day would have given.

But the people popped when they saw him on the screen.

They ran out of time, though.

Part two of the speech was, why did you bring your dog if you're going to have to just give him to this other guy in a minute?

Yeah, well, and Pharaoh's being passed around, for heaven's sake, like

an unwanted dog at the the pound over and over before this bit.

Anyway, and then they said it was his last trip on the road.

Are they retiring the dog?

The dog has decided to retire.

I didn't hear the explanation for why the announcer said it was his last trip with Cody.

They couldn't come to terms on a new contract with Pharaoh.

Are they putting Pharaoh down?

Yeah, really?

Why'd they say that?

Oh, come on.

No, he looked in the

corner of life.

Oh, what the hell did they say that for then?

Anyway, he wasn't going to take a trip with him on the road anymore.

Maybe Brandy's putting her foot down and Pharaoh's too old for this shit.

Oh, so there's like a last hurrah.

A big, a final farewell to Pharaoh.

Anyhow,

Cody got a big entrance.

He's over.

The bloodline rules.

The WWE title.

Cody, solo.

Here we go.

And this wasn't so much of a match as

an Eddie Graham finish on steroids put on a loop.

I mean, they sit down and worked on this one.

It was a giant performance piece where they had to make it bloodline rules, basically no rules so that everybody could, because they gave the people every kind of twist and turn and

up and down and run-in and whatever that they could.

But there would have been no way to figure out how to do this in a regular match.

They had to do what they did.

And before the run-in started happening, I just had observations.

One,

Solo is the younger brother of both the Usos, right?

Solo is the younger brother of the Usos, correct.

Yes.

He's the best worker of the bunch of them.

Oh, by far.

He's solid.

He lays his stuff in.

There aren't as many of the holes that you point out with Jey Uso, especially with Jimmy Uso too.

You don't see that with Solo.

He's not as awkward with the kicks and the movements.

You're not distracted because he's wearing tennis shoes and baggy shit.

He's not open-handed slapping people.

And he does different stuff.

And before I've mentioned that I thought Solo was sometimes limited in what he was doing,

but Cody obviously was the captain here and either brought out more in him or he's trying to expand his repertoire.

But he...

And that bit, the Samoan drop that he does is more like a Samoan release suplex,

where instead of of coming flat down on the guy like Jacob does,

he's fucking boosting them and throwing them.

But it just his

in-ring is coming along, and I think his confidence is coming along.

And

I think he did more different stuff here than any match I've seen of him or the Usos, maybe put together.

But finally, you know,

to start the run-ins, Cody hit a big superplex and both sold it.

And they went into a yay-boo exchange.

And then Cody fired up and hit the crossroads.

And right then,

here comes Tamatonga and Tongaloa.

And

you know what I'm about to say.

It's gotten to be.

I love it.

He's my favorite.

Do you look before you insult him or say anything?

All right.

Tongaloa.

When he came out there, I'm thinking, all right, there's been all these past incidents that seem ridiculous, but when you put them all together, it's quite the picture.

Now he has an eye patch.

All I'm thinking is, wouldn't it be funny if he just doesn't go the right way because of the eye patch?

If it threw off his depth perception,

because

we're talking about a guy with two eyes that missed a stationary nutshot

that whiffed a guy, hitting a guy in the balls, and the guy wasn't moving.

And so in this one, he comes in and they hold Cody

and he's going to try to run and spear Cody backwards kind of into the turnbuckles.

And he ran into Cody and drove him

the wrong way.

He missed the corner of the ring and he just drove him into the ropes and you could see Cody looking back like, where am I fucking going?

And then he had to shove him back into fucking corner so that Tomatonga could run and do whatever he was going to do.

But he missed the fucking turnbuckles in the corner of the ring.

Cody was going backwards and he knew he was going the wrong way.

And it just, that's the first thing you see, the first thing he does.

I'm sitting here waiting for it and watching for it.

And then he does it right in front of you.

It's almost like you don't believe it.

No, how did he?

I've never seen anyone miss the turnbuckle.

I've never seen anyone miss the turnbuckle.

He missed the corner.

How do you miss the turn?

Well, yeah, he he wasn't even there.

There was three turnbuckles to choose from.

He missed all of them by five feet to the right.

So then,

but then the Tongas beat up Cody and Solo covers in, but he gets two count.

So the Tongas get back on Cody, but then Owens music plays and Kevin Owens comes in and gets a big fight.

And then, but they get Owens down because they're the numbers advantage.

And then Orton music plays.

And when Orton comes down to make this big save, did you see him coming down slapping fans' hands on either side of the entranceway?

Yeah.

Also, both guys are in their gear.

Do you think it would have had more impact if they ran out there in street clothes?

They weren't working.

Well, with Owens, anything that you can do to cover up his body, I'm in favor of.

But I've mentioned before, Orton never goes out there.

He wants to look like a star.

Anytime he goes out in front of people, he's always dressed in gear.

But

if I would have been wondering if they were my friends, where they were fucking hiding for the two minutes that these guys were beating the shit out of me before they decided to play their music and come out and help.

Well, Arnstein,

Randy can.

Well, goddamn it.

Would they come in separate cars?

Because one got there before the other one did.

Well, they had to wait for their music to get queued up.

Well, no, one guy had to shake some hands on the way down because he's running for office.

The only thing better than that is when Jeff Hardy made his AEW debut to save Matt Hardy and he stopped and dance.

He stopped and danced home.

But anyway, after shaking the fans' hands, Orton got in and cleared the ring and power slammed solo.

And then Owens went to the top and Swanton solo.

And then Cody Crossroads

solo

and got a two count.

And it was a weak kickout.

And

I don't know what the fans went, eh?

Because it looked like this guy, big move, this guy, big move.

then the champion big finish, boom.

He either, it was a weak kick out and the people didn't see it, and there wasn't a lot of reaction.

He either needed to kick out strong, or

maybe they didn't need to do that there.

But at that point,

Ortons and Ortons and Owens,

the team of Ortons and Owens,

chased the Tongans out of the building.

They fought off, Brian.

See, that was Harley's allergy cough.

She's much better now.

Well, they fought out, not fought off.

Well, they fought off.

They fought out.

They fought off.

They went off.

They went away.

Off with you.

Off with their heads.

So then Cody throws the stairs in the ring and he hits Solo with him once and he hits him twice.

And he goes, but now he's just hit this guy with the stairs twice.

And he goes for the big third one.

And Solo comes with a spear, spears him out from under the stairs to count.

Great facials on both, by the way, when they're selling.

It just sometimes you would think maybe one shot with the stairs may have worked.

Solo missed the running ass in the corner on the stairs when Cody moved.

And then Cody hit the crossroads twice and he was going for the third time.

But you know who's been unaccounted for?

Oh,

the werewolf.

Was that the werewolf?

I thought it sounded like Lassie.

Oh,

it's the werewolf.

It's the werewolf.

Wolfman Jack.

Wolfman Jack.

Yeah, what are you doing?

That's who it is.

That's what Jacob Fatu sounds like.

He sounds like Wolfman Jack.

Blan Mounds of Sands, you got the money, honey.

I got the time.

And Fatu levels Cody Rhodes and hits the springing moonsault and puts Solo on top of Cody.

Two count.

Holy shit.

So then Solo says to Fatu, put him through the table.

And Cody, Cody,

Fatu puts Cody

on the announce desk, clears it off.

Who puts their desk back together?

I saw the desk cleared off at least three times, right?

And then the next time somebody goes to do it, all the monitors are back, the notes, the fucking...

The wiring, everything's right there.

They sweep it all off again.

Do they have a desk reassembler

over to the side?

Or do you think each announcer has to fend for themselves?

You grab a leg and I grab a leg?

No, they have to have someone there.

You grab a leg and I grab a leg, honey.

You grab a leg and I grab a leg.

So he cleared off the desk of the thing and he goes to the top rope and he splashes Cody through the table.

But instantly,

Jacob Fatu grabs his left leg.

I believe it was his left leg.

And oh, and he's screaming and he's, he did an incredible job of selling it.

It looks like he's either had a leg broken or broken somebody's leg before

because he did a fantastic fucking sell job.

Many people

were convinced that he was goddamn fucked up.

Well, apparently he was seen around today in a walking boot.

And I'm proud of him for that, too.

That's the modern day equivalent of the neck brace.

Because, well, and maybe we're going to find out that he broke a bone or two.

But what I'm saying is there was a need because of what was going to happen next for Jacob Fatu to be rendered

encompass mintus,

rendered irrelevant there.

They couldn't, with the push they're giving him and the build they're giving him,

they couldn't have somebody else take him out.

That would destroy his aura of danger and potential invincibility.

But they couldn't have him up and about for what was about to go on.

And what is the perfect compromise?

He hurts himself

in the

act of hurting someone else.

And then he can't get back in and interfere in what's going to go on.

So

I say, bravo,

chef's kiss to that fucking leg cell.

And

then when they roll Cody back in the ring,

Solo fucking

splashes him off the top rope and gets a two count.

Cody is goddamn indestructible, but at least he's not 132 pounds like Darby Allen.

And then Cody foils the spike that Solo tries and kicks him and hits a cutter on him and both both of them are down and you think, well, what in the world else can happen?

And suddenly

the opening drum beats of Roman Reigns' music hits and the fans in that fucking stadium go absolutely batshit insane.

And I'm saying, it's like they just saw their mother return from a fucking

lunar fucking landing that didn't go well.

Holy shit, did you hear that fucking pop erupt when they all knew instantly what that fucking drum roll meant?

Yeah, no, it was a major pop and,

you know, people were hoping for it and they finally got what they were hoping for.

Oh, they've been chanting for We Want Roman.

And

since the way that he left at WrestleMania, let's say April, May, June, July.

So he's been gone for four months.

The time is right.

They're ready for it.

Boom.

They see the screen.

They know it's him.

And then here he comes.

And he's walking to the ring with the game face on.

And he fucking slides in.

And even the announcer goes like, yeah, but, you know, who's he?

Because he's got the history with Cody.

And he's obviously not going to be happy with Solo and the way he's been running his pie hole around the place.

And

he settles things instantly.

There wasn't a big milk, which I was glad of because it was there.

He Superman punches Solo and hits Solo with a fucking spear, boom, and gets a big pop

and then looks at Cody

and steps out of the ring and starts walking to the back.

And Cody grabs Solo and hits the crossroads.

Boom, one, two, three.

And then

Roman looks back over his shoulder at Cody and Cody's looking at Roman.

And one of them was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me.

But boy, and that's why Jacob Fatu,

you still don't know what will happen physically

when Jacob Fatu and Roman Reigns get mixed in with each other.

And Jacob Fatu had a good reason.

for not getting in the way

of Roman Reigns doing what he did to Solo and Cody winning the match.

He was taken out of the equation.

So everything fell right into place perfectly, but we still didn't answer questions that it was too early to answer.

What can Solo and Roman do to each other?

And et cetera, et cetera.

Do you think Heyman should have come out with Roman in a wheelchair?

He could have just pointed.

Them, him,

he did it.

Well, no, see, this is perfect because why?

Roman is in no

danger right now.

Roman was in control of the situation.

If Haman had showed up, Paul, you've still got another great return.

If Roman can be put in a place of jeopardy, that not that Haman can come and physically

rescue him from, but that Haman can

do a wise man thing

and put him, maybe

the wise man thing is the wise man is the one that puts Roman and Cody finally together as a team against Solo and Jacob.

And

again, so many ways to go.

And now,

how many goddamn top-level babyfaces do they have in that company now that Roman has

come back in that fashion?

You've got Cody Rhodes, you've got Kevin Owens, you've got Roman Reigns, you've got L.A.

Knight,

and of course, Randy Orton, who

at some point, probably

over the next run of big shows and Saudi Arabia, $100 million spectaculars will stab Cody Rhodes in the back and be one of the hottest heels in the company.

But they've got mega baby faces now.

It's insane.

Well, that was the insanity known as SummerSlam.

And

again,

I joke that, yeah, they may be making more money these days, but back then we had the crowds.

Now they've got the fucking crowds, too.

60,000 people in Cleveland ain't nothing to sneeze at.

Cleveland.

Have you ever, I spent a month there one night.

I'm telling you, that is not a.

It makes you wonder what Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn think, because they can't just completely ignore what's happening.

The fact that things are so hot, they've maintained it.

They started advertising it, like I told you, the John Cena tour, the year-long

tour.

I mean,

they've got everything set up for another hot run or for this hot run to continue.

It's crazy to think about.

You know, you never really thought.

I mean, I guess a lot of people thought things would improve when Vince was gone, but the fact that business...

It's through the roof.

It could almost not get any hotter right now.

Well, actually, it could because they sold out a stadium in fucking Cleveland without John Cena or Randy Orton advertised or Kevin Owens advertised or Roman Reigns advertised or Brock Lesnar advertised.

Jesus, Age, and The Rock.

They've still got The Rock.

Yeah, and they've probably got at least one more good run out of him before the big scandal that takes him down forever.

And the mixed tag team match with Atta.

But that's what I'm saying.

It's like, my God, it can get bigger.

What the fuck?

Anyway,

and for the people who think we're blowing them, no, we still recognize when shit sucks, and much of it does, especially on the regular weekly television.

I still don't want to watch Raw, ladies and gentlemen.

No, but God damn.

And that's part of the thing, is our astonishment that

they've got the personalities so over that they can do

as little as they do and sell as much as they sell?

So that was indeed SummerSlam, one for the ages.

And boy, howdy,

it's going to be probably another

month or two until they get $50 million from Saudi Arabia or fucking put 30,000 people in a building somewhere.

Wait until they go to London and break the Wembley record.

That's going to be the big moment.

Oh, God.

Two nights in a row.

Tony's going to, goddamn, he's going to just fucking, his head will explode when they go there and two nights in a row beat his single attendance record.

I'm wondering if, you know, they may sell out the pay-per-view.

I don't think it works like that.

No, that's going to be the pay-per-view will be sold out.

Unless you get it early, you will not be able to order the pay-per-view anywhere in the world.

That will be sold out as well.

I don't know about that, but that was SummerSlam, and that was the drive-thru.

This is not the drive-through.

No, this is the experience.

You're done with the whole thing, aren't you?

You're just fed up with it.

No, I'm having a great time.

Oh, well, it sounds like it.

Well, folks, if you're having a great time, then you're going to want to come back and have some more of those times.

So come back here next week on the experience.

Come back in a few days on the drive-thru.

We're going to talk about all kinds of things and even more.

And until then, for Grumpy Brian, I'm Jazz and Jimmy.

Thank you, fuck you, and bye-bye, everybody.