Episode 604: Go To Jail
This week on the Experience, Jim reviews AEW Dynamite, and talks about Vince McMahon in court, the Andrade situation, Seth Rollins's injury, WWE using AI for creative, Kota Ibushi, Prince Andrew, morning talk shows, and much more!
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Transcript
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Like a midnight and the rock and roller.
He's in a fight for wrestling solar using a racket and some mind controller.
He's Jim Cornet.
The keys to the future held by the past.
And with tag team partner, Barion Last, he sends this message out by podcast.
He's Jim Cornette.
Well, he's never fake a phone
He never backs down from a fight.
He never wins the pony.
Cause his mama raised him right.
It's time
to prepare
your mind.
Get the experience.
Get the experience.
Get the experience of Jim Cornette.
Hello again, everybody, and welcome to another thrill-backed episode of the Jim Cornette Experience.
Today, the vision is changed in the WWE, but Tony Khan still is blind as a bat, and Moxley and Darby Allen go to jail, but unfortunately do not stay there.
All this and more excitement and joining me, Hawaiian Brian, the podcasting lion, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard Podcast Network, Mr.
Co-host to you, the man who never has failure to communicate.
be great brian last everybody aloha jim a pleasure to be here once again
some noise but we're going to be talking about a lot of noise this week here on the show wrestling it's all i can hear now
is your neighbor's lawn being vacuumed or whatever's going on over there but you know most people 93% of the people in double blind clinical tests can't hear a goddamn bit of the background noise, Brian, that you belabor about all the time.
You've heard about this test, haven't you?
Well, I've heard that people don't really hear it, and I think that's a testament to the great work of Jay Snakerado and Arcadian Vanguard when it comes to these programs.
Did you hire somebody else to help Jay Sharknado out?
We can't talk about staffing right now, that's a big issue in the country.
Well, anyways, speaking of staffing, I wonder if
the person or persons who they knew at a county jail or some podunk lockup will get found out that they allowed AEW
to film in there.
That is the first time in 50 years I've ever seen a wrestler or more or less more than one wrestler go to jail on purpose.
and commit felonious assault while they were there.
It's a banner.
There's just firsts in the wrestling business happening all the time in AEW.
We're going to talk about this later on, but it just
was the thing that stunned me from the program.
I'm speechless.
How's your weather there?
It's a little chilly, but not too bad, all things considered.
Well, shit's coming.
Fall is falling, ladies and gentlemen.
It is the last gasp.
It's been chilly the mornings here in Louisville, and it's feeling like that.
And then the last gasp of summertime is supposed to come in tomorrow, where we'll probably have the warmest day that we will have for the rest of the year.
Like in the
lower 80s at least, which is followed by a crashing cold front that will bring an inch of fucking rain and temperatures in the 40s.
And then we got fall i'm already sitting here wearing a sweatshirt inside the house and the air conditioning isn't even running
the cold weather is upon it brian i'm a senior citizen it affects my bones
you know all the bones in your body are connected to various other parts of your body you've heard that song i have
And then when the one pain gets in your bones and it travels to the neck bone and the shoulder bone and all the way down to the shin bone and the
sometimes your boner.
And then you just got pain and misery everywhere in the cold weather.
Oh, boy.
So it's going to be one of these shows today.
Yeah, it sure is.
Well, it's better than goddamn
going to jail on purpose.
At least you just have to sit here and listen to me.
Man, that first segment on dynamite, and I know we'll talk about it later.
I'm watching Tony Storm and Statlander.
I'm like, this is, and Renee, let's give her credit and blame also.
I'm like, this is the worst acting I've ever seen.
And then they follow that up with Moxley and Darby's
cinematic moment.
I don't know what's happening to wrestling right now.
Do you know who Renee Moxley Good reminds me of?
Except at least she's got a little flesh on her instead of just being a living skeleton, some kind of goddamn living caricature of cruella deville as a blonde at kelly rippa have you seen her
that you what used to be
no sir what used to be live with regis and kathy or regis and peggy or whoever register kathy lee originally okay well did he have more than one girl beside of him well when kathy he was an older man when she left he uh he chose or they chose or she was replaced by kelly rippa
okay so this is where it came from.
I say it when I'm referring to Kelly Rippa.
What's the thing that's on the.
No,
in the mornings, I watch my WDRB news because I want to see the weather.
I keep track of the weather, as you know, as I've just illustrated.
And then the program that immediately comes on afterwards is live with Kelly and her husband, Mark,
something or other.
And this woman is the epitome of if you you wanted to just goddamn, just drive me out of my mind, close me up in a room with her, or just even put her on TV and I can't switch it off and just listen to her talk and look at this, these,
and she's a skinny,
it's, it's, it's, she's frail looking,
but yet she's just so vivacious in all the wrong ways.
She's got a lot of energy and none of it's fucking appealing to me.
She has a female face and no body whatsoever.
You know, she apparently is not very likable either.
I believe that she had fights with Regis behind the scenes and there were stories that like in his last years, she was giving him shit.
And then she took over and for a while.
Yeah, she looks like a very demanding type.
Go ahead.
I'm sorry.
Michael Strahan, former football player with the New York Giants.
He was getting in the media and he ended up replacing either...
It wasn't Regis.
It must have been after Ryan Seacrest or something, but she's had a few hosts, they didn't get along famously, like they couldn't even be in the same building together eventually.
So now, oh my gosh, so now it's her and her husband who she met on the soap opera.
So I can't speak, who she met on the soap opera opera,
soap opera, who she met on the soap opera, she was on whatever that was years ago.
But unbearable.
I don't know.
He was on a soap opera, the whining shrew of Beverly Hills, or what?
I watch Channel 2 CBS here in New York, and after the morning news, they go to to the Drew Barrymore Show.
Have you seen this?
I have not.
I'm a big Drew Barrymore fan.
She was a very attractive young lady in the movies I saw her do 20 years ago.
I can't exactly tell what the hell's happening with this show because I usually make it like three minutes and then I'll turn the channel.
But I like her.
She's very likable.
She seems incredibly likable.
And that's a step above like...
you know, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, Kelly Rippa, et cetera, et cetera.
Apparently her
she has two.
One from the very beginning, I think he was Ross the intern on the tonight show with Jay Leno.
That's like her best friend, apparently.
So he's a co-host.
And then Valerie Bertinelli.
Every time it starts, Valerie Bertinelli's sitting there at the desk for Drew's news.
And like I said, I make it a couple minutes.
I don't know if she's there the whole show or not.
But like every episode begins with Drew, Ross the intern, and Valerie Bertinelli talking about Valerie Bertinelli.
That seems an odd, it's
an odd pairing with the, I don't know about the intern, but uh.
And then something happened.
They had to talk to her or something because her interview style, she gets like very, very close to you.
Like she sits like on the couch, like right in front of you and like sometimes will just touch you.
And apparently somebody.
So are you talking about Drew or Valerie or both?
I'm talking about Drew.
I don't know about Valerie behind the scenes.
Okay, well,
I wouldn't be complaining about anything that you've just mentioned if that was Drew Barrymore and me being interviewed i'd be glad to go in depth on the anything she wanted well i believe whoever it was someone complained but i think it was actually a female actor it wasn't like some guy was like yeah she got too close and i put her hand on my thigh you know it was like some woman was like why is she in my face
she's a close talker she wants to get the the close-up
Yeah, the hand-to-hand on the thigh.
I knew a girl once
was a magician.
Oh.
She put her hand on my thigh and I i turned into a motel
all right well maybe you'll uh turn into the drew barrymore show instead of so well i ride with kelly and whatever her husband's name is i wish they'd put it on wdrb after the morning news so i don't have to be subjected to are they still in the same studio that you were in like the regis and kathie lee studio well i don't know Does it look the same?
How the oh, Jesus Christ.
I'm sure even if it was the same studio after 30 fucking years, they would have changed the decoration.
What kind of goddamn Gelman?
There, where's Gelman?
I don't know any, I don't know where any Geldings are.
I'm just,
and here was the goddamn deal
with that was that was
the morning of, as I'm trying, I don't even have my book in front of me for the 1993, but that was the morning of
the or
bleh.
How was the pay-per-view on a fucking weekday?
Was that the morning of a pay-per-view?
Why did they?
Yes.
It would have been SummerSlam 93.
I don't remember.
93.
I don't remember being a weekday.
Well, then when did I do that show with Yokozuna?
Because I thought it was the
build to SummerSlam.
Would it have been a Monday, the day before the day of Raw?
Oh, God damn it.
Now,
you know what's going to have to happen, don't you?
We're going to have to hit pause because I got to go get my fucking book and see if I can figure this out.
Are we allowed to do that on this program?
We can.
I'm trying to Google it real quick to see if we can prevent such a occurrence because what a disruption.
Such an interruption.
8:3093.
Jim Corner.
Yes, but what day of the week was that?
I don't know why that would have been a weekday, but yet
they flew us in there as the story I was going to tell
and stuck them on the goddamn.
It was a Monday.
Well, there you go.
So wherever the fuck we were,
they flew us to New York, I believe the night before.
It had to be the night before because we were at the studio so early.
We get up the next day.
They stick us in a fucking limo, me, Yoko, Fuji.
I don't know where the fuck we're going.
We get out at the TV location,
wherever the fuck that was.
They hustle us into the fucking place we waited.
We go out.
We do the deal.
They shove us back in a car.
They take us to the goddamn airport.
Again, I'm looking out the window at buildings.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
And we fly to goddamn Detroit.
So
to answer your question about the, does the architecture?
of the TV studio look the same.
I don't fucking know
what I'm trying to tell you.
Are you suitably chastened about that question?
I don't believe I'm suitably chastened.
I don't know of anything suitable so far here today on this show.
All right.
I'd like to thank a couple of people.
Number one, Nick Funk, no relation, by the way.
But he was nice enough to send some comic books that he found that he said, I don't know a shit about comic books, but I know you and Stacey are into them.
And here's three.
And Nick, you're right.
You don't know shit about comics.
He's completely worthless, just garbage that you wouldn't even want to put in a parakeet's cage.
But I liked your letter, and I'm glad that you're doing excellent now.
And Lucas Kinzer, what were the comics?
What now?
You said they're worthless and awful, but what were they?
Well, they're just raggedy, like mid-late 80s DCs at random that, you know, in bad condition.
And Lucas Kinzer, this asshole,
you know what he did?
Sent me a
box of Reese's for how to try to give me the sugar diabetes when I'm trying to stay away from these type of things.
So be on the lookout for this fucking guy because he wants to kill you.
And guess what Michael from Ohio sent me?
Drugs.
No, I said Michael from Ohio, not Michael from fucking Columbia.
Round on the end.
Ohio is right up the road.
I could go and get my own fucking Ohio drugs.
He sent me from something from Florida on one of his vacations,
a Hulk Hogan beach shop business card.
And guess who it was?
Oh, no way.
Oh, that's awesome.
I already know.
Ron Howard.
That's awesome.
Ron Howard himself.
And I wanted to give a special thank you to
him for doing that type of thing.
Not Ron, but Michael.
Now that the Hulkster is gone, do you think Ron Howard is going to do anything crazy, like, you know, change his name to Ron Hogan and start telling people that he was Hogan's brother or anything?
I think he's going to track down Randy Hogan.
Remember Randy Hogan?
Randy?
Yeah, whatever happened to him.
I don't know.
But for a while, he was was very popular.
I took a picture.
We were somewhere, and Aper printed it.
And for the folks who just who the fuck are we talking about,
Randy Hogan was
an enhancement talent
of the mid-late 80s that looked facially and accentuated it by having the same kind of mustache and all this stuff as Hulk Hogan.
And his name was Randy Hogan.
And he did some WCW-TV tapings.
And I took a picture with him one time that Bill After printed in the magazine of me holding up a big card that said 24 while he's doing the big bicep shot, right?
And the eight and a half by 11 card is like twice as big as his fucking heart.
But anyway, that's a photo more than I remember him wrestling.
That was the more memorable part.
No, I kid if Randy's still around.
He can carry carry on the legacy now as the last remaining Hogan.
You know, I just the other day was going through the wrestling news archive and I ran into the correspondence file for,
is it Dale Gagner,
who later would say that he was actually Gagne?
Because it's such a misspelling.
I don't have any idea how you legitimately pronounce this fucking guy's name.
It was G-A-G-N-E-R.
But since Vern Gagne was G-A-G-N-E,
and this Dale Gagner was from the Midwest for years and years,
he was trying to get in the wrestling business and trying to start wrestling promotions and trying to make people believe that he was in some way a legitimate member of the Gagne family, up to and including
there was one time when I was working in the office in Stanford, which was 96 through 99 at some point during that period of time
he was goddamn
advertised trying to book talent as
the awa with the same awa logo kanya used in the 70s and
and i had to be the one to call to tell him because he's like oh yeah dale you're no i know you're full of they don't want their talent to do this because it's obvious that and then they when when the WWF
ended up buying the AWA library,
and I'm not sure when that happened, but I think it's before they got my Smoky Mountain
library right.
My point is
they, they started sending him cease and desist all over the place because he just wouldn't quit.
But it was, yeah, it was a riff.
What did you have on him in your file there, Columbo?
I didn't even get a chance to really go through it yet, but it goes back to the 80s because so much of the chaos I'm thinking of, I think, was the mid to late 90s, early 2000s, because he had a world champion, right?
Like, I want to say like Steve Carino or someone that we know held like the world championship for the AWA.
Yes, there was a whole thing for a few years there at some period of time with, you know.
He was legitimately, yeah, this is, this is all approved.
I have the trademarks and everything and ran shows.
Yeah.
And then he lost the rights to, you know, he got
into a lot of trouble, I believe, and he couldn't do it anymore.
But just the idea that he would start running a company called the AWA and just drop the R and become Gagne.
I mean, it's incredible that that happened.
And yet I still trust him more than Greg Gagne.
This guy doesn't, Dale Gagne doesn't owe anyone wrestling figures.
Greg Gagne, Magdalen TA, I don't know what's going on over there.
Dale Gagne never took pre-sale money because he never sold any tickets to begin with in advance or otherwise.
Also, real quick, Brian, I got an email from the other Brian.
He said, hello to both of us.
I don't know if you recall, but you do seem to have a fantastic memory, so it wouldn't surprise me.
You gave me a shout out at my sister's request while I was in the hospital fighting cancer.
I beat the cancer, most likely with the help of my manager's trusty racket.
I'm out of the hospital and happy to see that you've released a new book, Shameless Plug.
And then he still has the other Brian, that is, some surgeries and stuff lined up.
And we want to say good luck with those, but he's doing better.
So it's a
it, you know, it's clinically proven, Brian, in these double-blind
clinical and lab-tested surveys, that if we wish people well on the air,
you know, then oftentimes some of these maladies can be cured.
I don't think legally we could say that anything's been clinically proven, but yes, it's nice to hear from listeners and it's nice to be there for the listeners when they need us.
And hope everything goes well for Brian with surgeries.
Depends on who the clinic is, whether, you know.
Oh, here he goes again.
No, he doesn't go.
You see, that's the problem.
Ah, there go the batteries.
Goodbye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sayonara.
And also to Nick and Maine, who just lost his dog, Casey, and she was 10 years old.
And he sent a picture.
What a cute pup.
But we're sorry.
And the best of you of the rest of the family.
And
real quickly, also.
Brian, we have been clarified on something we were discussing earlier when on the sperm of the moment in the most recent show we did,
I think we were talking about the master blasters and the
one that quit, that walked out, went to the bus station after just being so flummoxed and lost in his match and never came back, never saw him again.
Some guy named Jace Nakarado,
that's confusingly similar to Jay Sharknado.
Hope he's trying not to steal Jay's gimmick.
Said, just to clarify, the Master Blaster that quit after the Kobo show's name was Corey
Pendarvis, and he was iron, the master blaster.
Iron.
But Corey Pendarvis
was the one who just looked at Nash and said,
What the fuck do they want of me?
And just, it was,
what was, what was Nash's Master Blaster name?
Jammin'?
Iron and Jamin, Master Blaster, Jammin.
Hold on, let me look that up actually, because I don't know.
Master Blasters,
they were a wrestling tag team, and their names were.
Yes.
And their names were.
It's not here on Wikipedia.
It has four more.
Well, man, it's a Nash has got to have a wiki.
I can understand Corey Pindervis not having it, but Nash has got to have a Wikipedia.
Does it have his?
Yes, he was Master Blaster Steel.
Iron and steel.
One fist is iron, the other one steel.
If the right one don't won't get you, then the left one will.
But also,
that's because they interviewed them at their employment meeting and they found out that their parents were in the iron and steel business.
Their mother ironed and their father steals.
You know, as impressive as Kevin Nash looked there and whatever the partner was supposed to be, just the height difference is the issue.
Beyond the height of the work or anything.
You have to be cut, amazingly cut, like a Scott Steiner or a PAC to be next to Kevin Nash there and not just look ridiculous.
And then the guy misses every spot he did.
Oh, it was, yeah, it was, it was brutal.
But anyway, so now we know the answer to that question that Wikipedia could not even provide.
See, only here, folks, on programs like this, will you get the inner, the, not only the entertainment, but the information
to be able to fully fully understand what's going on in this crazy wrestling world of ours.
I've got some information for everybody, Brian, before we get into the hospitalization report.
This crazy book world of mine, Heroes and Friends,
is very popular.
I mentioned on the program of your show just a few days ago that...
The initial couple of days
was very busy and normally with these things after the on-sale date, a couple days, you know, then things slow down and then you sell them.
They ebb and flow.
This hasn't slowed down that much.
So we have a few issues here.
As I mentioned, we're on the last thousand copies of this thing already after
six days.
And
I don't know when it's going to slow down to the point where I'll think, well, we're going to make it till Christmas.
We discussed the idea of
printing more, but you got to get a shitload of these things.
For this printing quality, which is a blessing and a curse,
you can't just say, give me 500 of the, well, yeah,
you can pay 25 bucks a piece
wholesale for them too.
But nevertheless, the other problem is, before we even know whether we're going to get any more of these or not,
is folks, if you could, they haven't seen them yet.
Nobody that actually has it in their hands, I'm afraid then there will be somewhat of a demand when people see how cool this thing looks.
But at this point, if you want it by Christmas, you want to make sure you get it.
And
how long is it going to take me to sign all these fucking books?
Because you know, Brian, this is, we're not putting these under the heat lamp,
these are personalized to specifications to Pismo.
Congratulations on your hernia surgery.
So
if you want to get it by Christmas, please, because I'm already looking at signing thousands of books.
And I'm starting that tomorrow.
But that is the update at jimcornet.com.
If you missed the chance at the Madison Square Garden book on Saturday for about two or three hours, when we sold out the hundred copies we got, we got another 200 from Scott Teal.
And there's
probably 60 or 70 of those left.
So
I don't know how long we can keep bashing down Scott's door for more books.
So if you want to get that, order quickly.
And all the rest of the cool stuff we got for Christmas, for the holidays, for Thanksgiving and Halloween and Hanukkah and
every other holiday that you can think of.
Order now because it's going to take me that long.
JimCornet.com.
And thank you, folks, for
the reaction to this book.
I hope everybody likes it when they get it, which is again going to start the end of this coming week after I start tomorrow signing books.
But thank you.
And that's my plug.
And don't forget, if you miss out on this opportunity, there
may be some black and white Xerox copies ending up on eBay in the next few months.
Look for Cornett Treasure 62 and we'll get you one.
are you are you already gonna you can't even you can't even wait until the the thing's sold out and the body is cold before you're i don't see this as a competitive thing you're dealing with color i didn't say anything about color
well i got black and blue for you oh how about them colors Where are you black and blue, sir?
Maybe you want to go see the colours.
I'm not.
You're about to be.
Oh, no.
You're about to be.
Oh, come on.
I'll tell you.
but nevertheless, the books, as Ernie Ladd would say, the books are selling like an auctioneer.
Selling like he's going to the electric chair.
There we go.
Selling like Antonio Enoch getting whooped by Brian last.
Some people think it may win for you to the year.
It played the song twice on one occasion.
It will probably never happen again.
Don't say it.
Just think back to the glorious moment that you had.
And instead of constantly having your hopes dashed on the rocks of despair, because it don't do it again.
Well, you're right.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this.
And the fact of the matter is what makes it difficult, if it was just ta-da-da!
I could live with that.
And if it was the idea I can get the song every now and then, that wonderful 70s funk of Antonio and Noki, I could live with that.
It's the very long, itchy Ni Sanda chant in the middle that pisses me off.
Because once you start that thing, if it doesn't stop,
and again, this is a key chain.
You're supposed to carry it around.
It's bigger than all your keys.
You're supposed to carry it around with your keys attached to it.
And then it just plays endlessly.
That's longer than a ringtone.
Antonio Inoki chanting, and you can barely even make out what he's saying.
So that's the point.
I think there was a point.
There's a pointer somewhere, but if you comb your hair right, nobody will notice.
Come on.
You see, I'm trying to, I'm playing with the fucking batteries.
that's the sound of james adding long-lasting gain scent boosters to his laundry this morning several hours later james sniffs the irresistible scent of gain on his shirt
ah gain several hours later james has even caught the attention of his mother-in-law and she never gives him attention oh you smell amazing james oh thanks mom i love you too i never said that add gain scent boosters to your laundry add joy to your day You know who else is injured, don't you?
Besides your Antonio Inoki Keychain?
No.
Everybody.
Everybody's fucking hurt.
Now I'm hearing, where do you want to start?
What about Jacob Fatu?
Now, this one is
a curious one.
Brian, this one, there's something going on.
He has things going on that we don't know, as Ronnie Van Zant might have said.
Jacob Fatu, they just did the angle of thing with him a couple weeks ago, and Drew for the whatever they were going to,
whenever they were going to have that conflict.
And then now he's out.
And supposedly, I've heard the term non-wrestling injury.
What the?
Did he get hit by a fucking taxicab?
What I, what is
so
that could only be one thing:
vasectomy.
Oh, for God's sake.
Hey, I'm going to be on the road.
I'm going to have a good time.
Doc, snip, snip.
Get me out of here.
I'll say Drew McIntyre did it.
No, looky here.
Unless they did an angle where,
not that I've ever seen this happen before with anybody specifically that I'm talking about.
But if they did an angle where they pulled the guy's legs across, watched him on the ring post
in front of a screaming crowd.
And
then, you know, he had to have testicular issues done as a result of that.
I've heard of that kind of thing.
No, he just did.
That's a pro.
But there you go.
But Jacob Fatu just disappeared.
And now, again, and they're saying it's significant enough that he could be out
well into 2026.
Again, to Jacob Fatu, what the fuck could happen to him when he looked so spry?
The last time we saw him, everybody, the story of,
have I ever told you this?
When Cactus Jack first started in WCW in 1989, right?
And he had not been there too long.
And then it was the Christmas break.
And then we were coming back to whatever.
And he was booked on the town, on all the house shows already.
And I was on the booking committee.
He called me.
He had gone back home to Long Island for the Christmas break and got in some kind of car accident.
And he said he wasn't going to be able to, you know, come back for the first few house shows, but he'd be there for TV.
And he was all apologetic.
And I said, don't worry about it.
You're in a car wreck.
It's, you know, it's fine.
Your spot's good, right?
But he comes back, whatever town he got back in first, Arn Anderson is in a locker room.
And they've asked where cactus was i said he was in a wreck he got banged up he'll be back in a few days right
so arn's sitting there and and he looks at cactus and cactus still kind of limping in he said
so cactus you was in a car wreck and it kept you from working jack's like yeah yeah
And Arn's seen all these bumps he's been taking, right?
Little elbow off the ring on the floor and the backdrops on the concrete.
And he said,
what the fuck kind of car wreck did you have?
Do you run off the edge of the Grand Canyon?
Well, it's funnier when Arne delivers it.
But nevertheless, what happened to Jacob is what now we got to find out because nobody, nobody knows.
And it could be vasectomy.
Handsome.
Not
well, well into 2026.
Now we're talking some kind of goddamn liver transplant or something.
Some organ must be re-harvested.
I don't know.
But he was ambulatory.
He was walking around.
He was working.
He didn't suffer any injury
in a ring.
They've said it's non-that we've seen that was publicized.
Said non-wrestling related, but he's going to be out well.
And that just pisses me off.
I like Jacob Fatu.
We'll see what happens.
We'll see what Drew McIntyre will do next.
But that's the Jacob Fatu non-news news.
We'll see what happens.
We'll follow up on it.
Well, we did what we wanted to make sure the people knew
if they were saying, where's Jacob Fatu?
Well, he ain't there.
He's somewhere else.
We don't know why.
And
the update
on
Coda Ibushi, have you heard this?
That
seriously, you could have a fucking heart transplant and get back in the ring quicker than apparently he's going to be able to.
Two years.
He will be.
We dissected what happened with him and the match with Josh Alexander on the drive-thru just for a few days ago.
And I'm not going to beat it to death again.
If you want that clip, I believe it'll be on YouTube.
If it's not, it will be by the time you hear this, folks.
Where we went through what seemed to cause it and what went on.
It was not Josh Alexander's fault.
He was dealing with dead weight that wasn't cooperating for some unknown reason.
But he's broken the femur, which we
also mentioned is the big bone in your thigh.
I guess that takes some kind of fucking impact to break.
But now he has said the
prognosis is that he will be it's a one-year recovery
a one-year full recovery he said i guess that's to be normal
and then two years back in the ring
but he believes he has superior dna and can beat that
deadline because he can heal faster
Brian, are you going to take any bets on that fucking option with his recent history?
it's easy to say all those things when you know tony will be paying you apparently tony visited him in the hospital we saw that handwritten note apparently tony presented it to him oh my god i've seen pictures of it now and it looks like ed gein would have jotted that down on his bulletin board
well apparently tony gave him flowers uh quite literally and
he gave him flowers and a note and
but again the flowers, I mean, in the hospital, what are you going to take?
Here, here's some barbecue.
I don't know, you know, anything more traditional than flowers in the hospital, but the handwritten, scrawled
note was somewhat indicative of
many things.
You know, I know it's a natural thing that when he comes back, and I'm sure we'll see him in a couple of years, I can't wait at this point to see what happens next.
to put him with Kenny or do something with Kenny.
But I think the real opportunity is him and Shabata as a team.
The man whose brain goes in and out with the man whose legs keep falling off.
There's some sort, I don't know exactly what, but there's something there that could work, I think.
Well, a medical research team.
It could work better, apparently, than he's going to be able to.
He's in his early 40s.
He's going to be out for two years.
He's broken a major bone in his body that I don't even,
as I said the other day, I don't remember another case in wrestling of a broken femur.
I mean, car wrecks and I don't even, do they even do that, do it in football?
When's the last time some pro football player had a broken femur?
I don't know.
Google that while I'm droning on endlessly about this, because that's the thing.
is that with his age and history of injuries and a two-year layoff and trying to come back with the
performances that we have seen here lately.
And again, I've roasted him
because it is
embarrassing the
money that he's being paid that could go to somebody that might contribute, the
fawning over him of the
the fans, but especially of Tony Kahn, who's smoking hopium
and you know, the nostalgia goggles that he's got on for this guy who would have gotten over to a niche audience at best in his glory years?
Because he has no personality and no goddamn charisma and a blank face.
And his
thing was he's friends with Kenny.
And
now
I
somebody at some point, and Okada's the same way.
Somebody at some point has to sit, whether it be Tony or Kenny or whoever these guys are that are these worshipers of their Japanese era and say, guys,
sorry, but it's, you know, fucking Mickey Mantle had to give it up.
And goddamn Michael Jordan,
you know,
at some point, sorry, you're done.
We can't pay you millions of dollars to go out there and either literally fall apart on camera or take rolling bumps into a goddamn seated position for millions of dollars.
And you only have one game.
It's not like he's known for his psychology and facial expressions.
It's all about the athleticism.
I have an answer to your question.
Some recent examples.
Paulson Adebo,
New Orleans Saints cornerback, broke his femur October 2024, underwent surgery.
Recovery expected to take four to five months.
Max Johnson, UNC.
Now, wait a minute.
Was that recovery four to five months from the surgery or four to five months from now?
It doesn't specify there.
Because four to five months, boy,
instead of one to two years.
Go ahead.
Max Johnson.
UNC quarterback suffered a femur fracture that required five surgeries.
Ooh.
He worked his way back to the field nearly a year after the injury.
Abushi was two years.
That's Abushi was the what he has announced is that he would be off a year,
full recovery a year, but back in the ring in two years.
But I was assuming then he's saying full recovery to mean walking around like a normal person.
Now, is he just really badly fucked up because he's just had both ankles reset and whatever, also, and all this other shit?
Or is he
planning on building in a little malingering time and still beating
the fucking.
But these guys, they're not 42 years old, are they?
These football fellows?
No, no, no.
I don't have their ages in front of me, but I'm pretty sure if you're a cornerback for the Saints or a quarterback for UNC, that's college,
you're in your 20s.
Well, there you go.
And now when you break the leg of a spring chicken,
well, they heal better.
But nevertheless, we ain't going to see this guy for a while.
It's what I'm trying to say.
But somebody over there needs to have a talk
with a number.
I appreciate that Tony wanted to sign these guys
because he was a big fan of theirs.
And because, in the world that he used to enjoy watching, they were a big deal.
But they wouldn't have gotten over in this world
if they were in their prime.
And yet here they are.
And, you know, it's great that they have a high-paying job.
It's great for them.
But I just look at running a business.
My God,
just
either give them the money because you want to give them the money, but don't act like they can still do all this shit and put them on TV to hurt themselves or stink the joint out
when there's other guys there that are actually really working hard
that are trying to get over that can actually do some until they hurt themselves trying to do all that shit
but
anyway
You don't talk about the big ones since we're on the subject of people crippling themselves because it's not limited
to AEW or in Jacob Fatu's case, non-wrestling injuries,
being a safe fell on his fucking head.
Seth Franklin Rollins.
Boy, tell you what.
As Bobby Eaton would have said, he burnt the bread on himself when he, Bobby Eaton, would never sit in a wheelchair.
Did Did you know that about Bobby?
I did not.
I don't, you know, didn't know how many times he's been offered a wheelchair and said, no, I can't do that.
No, here's the thing.
A lot of times, especially, like, well, imagine there was always a wheelchair sitting around Smoky Mountain TV because of Ron Wright, right?
Wheelchairs in a wrestling angle or just anytime you're anywhere around a wheelchair.
He is bad luck sitting in a wheelchair if you don't need it, right?
And of course, in black cats crossing his path made him nervous, unless he X'd the windshield.
And all those, but in this case,
the prophecy came true.
Life has imitated art.
They fucked around and lied to people about Seth Rollins being hurt.
So he could do the big cash in.
And now the son of a bitch is really hurt.
Nobody believes it.
Well, again, it it just happened a few months ago where it appeared to be an obvious knee injury in the middle of a match.
It appeared they changed the finish on the spot.
Then there was an issue with the timing of the match.
It was
rotten, rotten, rotten television is what it appeared like it was.
And it screwed up the Goldberg match, a lot of people thought after it.
And then it turned out that was a ruse and he was just trying to screw CM Punk.
And they actually really did just screw up the Goldberg match independently.
That's right.
Independently of the goddamn bad angle.
And at this time, I mean, he did that corner-to-corner spot that Shane McMahon and Rob Van Dam, I guess, are the two most famous people to maybe the two only people.
Who else has done that move?
Well, but nobody did this.
It was a diving headbutt rather than the drop kick,
which is what did him in.
But
and here's the thing.
And I go back to the Abushi injury, which again,
we covered how it happened, but it's the same type of thing.
If the Abushi injury hadn't happened,
what would the bump, what were they going to do, right?
Alexander is going to pick him up over his shoulders at a fireman's carry, and maybe he's going to give him the big
whoop-to-doo off the suplex, off Death Valley driver, off the second rope, kick out at two, or or maybe Ibushi was going to slip it and fucking throw Alexander off or whatever.
The point is, whatever they were going to do, Brian, if Ibushi is going to be out of the ring for two years,
would people have remembered that bump by the time he gets back in the ring?
In two years from now, if they'd have done it successfully, would people still remember it?
Maybe.
That one specific bump.
On collision?
Yes.
I don't know if anyone's going to really remember that bump.
Exactly.
They were just doing, they were setting up another trick, another stunt,
another
big move, whatever.
Ooh, and a people of pop and a false finish.
But nobody, because it's a show that few people watch and it's a show filled with everybody setting those type of things up.
The chances of anybody, they might remember the match and they might remember whoever won, Alexander Ibushi, and blah, blah, blah.
I remember that being a good match.
They might remember it that way, but that one specific bump
that obviously had a degree of difficulty to set up, and with someone not cooperating, made it worse.
And
fucking just the phoniness of the time it takes to get them up there and balance, and nobody's trying to get away.
The return on that
was not going to be worth it to begin with.
If they'd have done that, or if they'd have done the same match that they did and were going to do after that point and left that one thing out,
everybody'd still be walking around, and nobody would have fucking remembered if they'd even seen that bump
because it was just one of many.
It's the same principle with Seth Rollins and Cody's match.
And I know
I've been a performer, even though thankfully, back in my day,
you didn't have to dive off the top rope out on the fucking furniture or out in the fans or do all the whatever the fuck.
But you want to do shit to get yourself over with people and get your match over and make them remember you and give them their money's worth.
So you can't just say, I'm not going to do anything dangerous.
And it's inherently all dangerous, depending on how skillfully or unskillfully it's performed.
But
again,
why
out of nowhere, he's never done it before.
And would you, would you, if he had hit the diving headbutt from one turnbuckle to another
on Cody, that might be more memorable than what Alexander and Ibushi Ibushi were trying to do by a long measure.
But it's still, if he'd have taken that out of the match they had,
nobody would have missed it.
And they still did enough.
They did more than enough.
But one would,
it would, the reason
why I think that nobody's ever, because again, I don't think anybody's ever done a diving headbutt from corner to corner.
And think about it if you can do a drop kick
it almost might be easier to do the drop kick corner to corner than the diving headbutt
but nevertheless
his shoulders or his neck or something
unless he just intended to ram straight into goddamn
Cody and let Cody's body absorb all the impact and even that where did he think the stress was going to be alleviated of diving
from one corner of the ring to the other, trying to simulate striking a person while landing safely without breaking your fucking arms or your shoulder or your neck or something?
If they had taken that out,
then they would still be on the track for all the plans that they
had and to turn Braunbreaker in 2026 and to have these big matches that they had set up with Seth and Punk and WrestleMania and
Seth and Roman and whatever
because of exactly what we've been talking about.
And what I've been saying with Cena is
they've got to the point
where every time they fuck themselves up at the top level, it costs the company millions of dollars.
So I know
that you need to do some shit, but was that particular thing like that?
Was it necessary in the story and context of the match that he had to try that one?
It was like Brock
doing the shooting star press at WrestleMania and landing on his fucking head.
If he'd have just got
one fucking thing.
No, it wasn't like that because Brock actually did hit it before.
It may not have been the right time to do it, but at least
he hit it.
That's true.
Rollins, you know, we just recently, maybe a month or two ago, did a segment about how much I don't like the diving headbutt.
And we talked a little bit about who gets hurt and how it all happens.
And then you see this.
When we did the review, I told you there were two matches I wasn't crazy about for the same reason, but they're very different.
Cena, AJ,
Rollins, and Cody.
I thought they were both silly.
But Cena and AJ
had a kids in the basement match with a hungry crowd who were popping for everything.
Yeah.
And if you think of all the moves they did, all the callbacks to Jericho or Undertaker or whoever, safe.
Everything was safe.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
And meanwhile, Rollins is one of these guys.
I think he may feel the urge in himself to push it further than he has to.
Just work a match.
Just work a match and have a finish.
But everyone's into doing crazier and crazier stuff.
And this isn't even amongst the craziest things, but it's just, like you said, unnecessary.
And at some point in the process of laying out the match, which is what they do, someone should have said, you know, A, that may not hit.
B, it may not look good.
C, why?
Why do we need to do any of this?
And there you go.
And well, and also the trajectory is hard for a head butt.
And that's why he landed when he came down on the kind of the left side, left arm, left shoulder, whatever.
It's because he was trying to turn in to
hit Cody without hitting Cody.
But it just.
So Rollins can't stay healthy.
I mean, that's the other big takeaway.
Well, he really was legitimately hurt a while back with a knee injury.
And
that's why I, you know, I get nervous every time he does that stomp because
that's still got to be putting some kind of stress on the knee.
But now he's got a bad wing and a bad wheel, as they say in the
terminology of the industry.
Oh, boy.
Good luck, Franklin.
Here's the thing.
This was not
this.
What they are doing now is not what this business was
for over a hundred years, and they're finding out why.
And I'm sorry that if that poops in everybody's post-hosties,
but you can't do shit like this
even once a week or whatever the fuck or once a month or whatever it may be
and
expect to do it for very long
so you know i hate to be right but always am somehow it turns out that way i mean who's gonna make the call who's gonna do anything because obviously we're talking aew we're talking wwe sometimes it's an accident often it's an accident but still you can prevent accidents sometimes but other times it's just wear and tear or body parts not holding up to the modern style.
Tony ain't going to be that guy.
Triple H, I would guess, would be that guy, but I don't know if they will have the conversation.
Everyone needs to tone it back.
The matches are great.
We like them, but we can't keep losing guys that we're investing time and money in every few months because the injuries are more and more frequent.
You know what they need, Brian?
I'll tell you what Seth needs right now that would make him feel a lot better.
As a matter of fact, it's clinically tested and third-party blind people approved
that CBD gummies can
not only heal your bones, but also make your ligaments regrow.
Well,
I don't know if any of that's true.
Third-party blind people, I mean, you got me right there at the beginning.
Yes,
that's blind people that don't, I don't actually know them, but I know people who know them, and that's what they say.
So that's what they tell me.
Oh, they're telling you this.
Yes.
That's why it's third-party blind people tested.
I didn't realize the results were being delivered to you.
This is a news we're breaking here.
Yes, well, I asked some people that was hanging around in the parking lot over at Paul's Market the other day.
They told me they'd get back to me.
They went to the old folks' home and they talked to some of the old folks sitting out on their porch.
Well, folks, I'll tell you what, if you want the CBD or the
any part of the hemp plant,
including probably seeds at some point in the future, go to cornbreadhemp.com right now.
CornbreadHemp.com and stock up because, Brian, have you heard what our old friend down here in Kentucky is trying to do, old Mitch McConnell, who just took another bump in the Senate basement yesterday?
I was going to say, what he's trying to do, what is that?
Stand up?
Oh, yeah, he's standing.
He's actually standing up against what he was standing up for.
about six or seven years ago.
This Cretanus humanoid, before he
shuffles off of the mortal coil of the Senate and goes to decompose in his crypt, a number of years ago, he signed a bill
for the hemp plant and the hemp industry in Kentucky and legalizing things so that our friends at Cornbread Hemp,
who are now sponsoring the University of Louisville Athletics and now a sponsor of our program and have been named one of the fastest rising businesses in the United States.
And the hemp industry employs thousands of people here in Kentucky.
Now, actually,
I don't know which now there's more of in the state of Kentucky, people in the coal mining business or people in the hemp business.
And guess what Mitch McConnell's trying to do before he retires next year?
Sign a bill outlawing all the hemp shit.
Why?
Because I swear to God, this was on the TV news the other day from his own chicken lips.
He said it's been called to his attention by some Karen somewhere, or some of these Republican fanatics.
It's been called to his attention that children are getting a hold of these products that can be eaten, and these things are stronger than even the illicit drugs that you find on the streets.
Oh, come on.
Wow,
I know.
Hey,
I don't know about your cousin Betty's brownies, but nothing that cornbread hemp has been fucking manufacturing or selling to the public can send you to the hospital or make you call 911 on yourself.
They are packaged
so professionally that it would be difficult for children to get in them.
They're clearly marked.
And if your kids ate them, I don't believe they would be sent down the road to ruin to being heroin addicts in an alleyway somewhere.
But this fucking old senile,
vapid, vacant-headed human shell
is now,
he's going to try to put, they're going to try to push this bill through.
I think it may be nationwide because, you know, he is the grim reaper of bills in the Senate.
So
stock up on your cornbread hemp products is what I'm saying.
Because he may be, he who gaveth is now trying to take it away and throw thousands of people in the state of Kentucky out of into unemployment and take away everybody's CBD gummies from cornbread hemp, along with all their other products, which, as you know, folks, are especially formulated to help relieve discomfort, stress, and sleeplessness, which is what Mitch McConnell's been giving people in the state of Kentucky for 40 years now.
So, anyway, you want to save 30% on your first order of cornbread hemp because of me and Brian and our show
and stick it to the man
and fuck these fucking Republican assholes with their bills.
Unless it's a goddamn duck bill because they've been crossed with a fucking platypus.
Go to cornbread hemp
cornbreadhemp.com slash JCE and use the code JCE at checkout
and stock up on your first order.
You're going to get 30% off.
And while you are, while it is your right as a free adult American to do something else,
get it and keep it.
This stuff, it's packaged in airtight containers.
It'll keep for a while.
But before you lose the opportunity to do something else, because...
Cousin Betty can't keep her goddamn brownies
clearly marked and away from the fucking kiddies.
And again, with cornbread hemp, these are great products.
These are products that are professionally packaged and nothing looks like it's for children.
It's pretty clear what it's for.
And their CBD products are fantastic.
We love them here at Castle Cornette.
And see, you can't get,
that's the thing.
CBD is a derivative of the hemp industry as well, even though they're talking about these goddamn massively powerful fucking weed gummies formulated in goddamn Sault Ste.
Marie somewhere and shipped around in the wheel well of a fucking VW bus.
But all your shit goes.
The CBD gummy, unless there is a competitive eating
contest for CBD gummies, I don't think you can get sick on them.
Even a kid.
But that's the point is everything is being blanket taken away from you because some people and their ill-gotten gains misusing their various resources.
Well, tell Mitch to take a nap and support Cornbread Hemp one more time, Jim.
With a lot of drama, what's that promo code?
I'd rather tell him to take another dive.
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Use the code JCE at checkout.
Tell him we sent you and we believe in the freedom of all Americans.
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CornbreadHemp.com.
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Well, Jim, we have some breaking news.
You know what that music connotates.
Breaking news.
Oh,
here on the show.
Another wrestler injury.
No, I kid.
What?
Breaking news.
Prince Andrew.
To relinquish royal titles after fresh revelations tied him to Jeffrey Epstein.
Oh!
And And
alleged Chinese espionage.
What the
wait a minute.
No, I was about to say, a curveball coming in out of nowhere.
So
he was not only
visiting Epstein's island or whatever those people had going on, but he was also spying for the Chinese against who?
England?
The crown?
The Zambia?
His mother?
Is there any details?
Where are you getting this information from?
I got a breaking news email.
This is an article here from the Washington Post
by Carla Adam.
Prince Andrew has agreed to relinquish his Duke of York title after talks with his brother King Charles III, a stunning development following accusations tied to Jeffrey Epstein.
Here's a quote from,
do we call him Prince Andrew?
From Andrew.
From Andrew.
In discussion with the king and my immediate and wider family, we have concluded that...
Wait a minute, did he say wider family?
Wider, W-I-D-E-R.
The bigger members of the family.
We have concluded the continued accusations against me distract from the work of His Majesty and the royal family.
I have decided, as I always have,
to put my duty to my family and country first,
right after his penis.
I stand by my decision five years ago to stand back from public life.
With His Majesty's agreement, we feel I must now go a step further.
We feel.
We have decided I'll be getting a new job now.
I'll be leaving the building today.
Don't mind security dragging me by my arms right by your desk.
We have decided I do need an escort to leave the building.
We feel I must now go a step further.
Or, in British slang, one step beyond.
I will therefore no longer use my title or the honors which have been conferred upon me.
As I've said previously, I vigorously deny the accusations against me.
Well, there it is.
I was about to say Prince again.
Andrew of England.
Andrew of England.
that's a, that's all we need.
Now, I'm trying to see, there's a lot of stuff here about Epstein, obviously, and we've been seeing that in the news for a long time.
I mean, he was the first person of note, really, that people knew about was Prince Andrew.
What about the Chinese?
That's what I'm looking for here.
Yeah, where's the Chinese figure into this?
I'm looking for, here's a quote from Ghelene Maxwell, who told her,
When we get home, you are to do for him what you do for Jeffrey.
Oh boy.
Whoa.
That's incriminating.
Andrew has lived in royal exile since his car crash, 2019 interview with Newsnight.
But until now, he kept his Duke of York title.
His mother, Queen Elizabeth II, conferred it upon him at the time of his marriage to Sarah Ferguson.
in 1986.
Remember before we knew that he was like a big pervert, everyone was like, Fergie's a slut.
It turns out he was the fucking mess.
Yeah, she like raises money for small children and animals and things, and he's a goddamn lunatic.
I'm trying to see anything but the Chinese or espionage.
While you're looking for that, also, now I don't know the entire royal family by name and the various relations and everything, but they've been losing them, right?
Because the queen passed away here not long ago.
And didn't one of the sons, because they don't like his wife, they said, fuck y'all.
Well, no, no, no, over here somewhere.
No, the former prince, I guess he's still a prince, Prince Harry said, fuck you to the family because his wife, who appears to be the problem,
wanted him to go with her to Hollywood so they could do a bunch of stuff on Netflix that no one's going to watch ever.
So she's Yoko Ono.
And now he's trying to get back with the family and they don't trust him.
How many memoirs do you get to write before people are like, you know, I'm not going to talk to this guy anymore well but the point is he's on the outs the queen is the queen is dead long live the queen uh this guy's gone king charles is not the picture of health at his spry young age and he's got some
illness of some description
what happens when they just run out of him what has that ever happened before ah we're out of royal families well no there's the next uh there's a line they have it ready The next one will be Prince William, who'll become king, and then his son.
What happens if he's either been dipping his pen in company ink or fucking gets hit by a double-decker bus?
If he's the king, he could dip his pen in whatever ink he wants, I would presume.
Well,
apparently, oh, Andrew.
Well, we have some real estate news tied to this.
According to British media reports, the king has been pressing for Andrew to move out of royal lodge, a 30-bedroom mansion he shares with Ferguson, his ex-wife.
And to relocate to Ferguson.
You know, I guess you wouldn't really fucking have to run into anybody too often in 30 fucking rooms, but she can't get a place of her own.
And the king wants him to relocate to Frogmore Cottage.
Frogmore Cottage?
A smaller home where Prince Harry and his wife Megan once lived, where they put the outcasts of the family.
Don't pay any attention to the bars on the windows.
It's there for security because of the neighborhood.
Who are you to stop me?
I'm trying to get into my 30-bedroom mansion.
No, you'll be going to Frogmore Cottage now, sir.
Maybe Andrew might get booked by the people over in West Fabersham that bought OVW.
There is nothing in this article, though, about the
Chinese espionage.
They just put that in the headline and then just dropped it?
That's a weird thing.
Hold on, let me Google that now.
Prince Andrew.
Prince Andrew, Chinese
Let's see if I can open this article without having to pay for anything.
Yes, I can.
I have an article here from the Independent.
The most important thing now.
We don't want to go into debt on this program.
Prince Andrew met a senior Beijing official at the heart of a Chinese spy scandal at least three times, according to reports.
The Duke of York, or now former Duke of York.
He's the Duke of Earl now.
In 2018.
Duke of York.
In 2019, he met with Kai Ki, currently the first-ranked member of the Secretariat of the Chinese Communist Party and de facto chief of staff, the Xi Jinping.
So the chief of staff was meeting with Prince Andrew.
About what?
It doesn't really say here.
Well, apparently there was some nefarious things discussed.
If it,
And I don't, did he just have permission to just go talk to these
Chinese communist officials?
Or is that a normal thing that the Prince of England, formerly Prince Andrew, would do?
British officials in attendance said that cooperation between the two countries had huge potential amid talks of a golden era of British-Chinese relations.
And then weeks later, Prince Andrew traveled to China to launch a boot camp for his pitch at Palace Business Initiative at Peking University and express a desire to help Chinese businesses get access to the global market, state media reported at the time.
So he meets with the spy master, then he goes to China and announces, I'm going to do what I can to get everyone to recognize you.
Acknowledge me.
The Saudi said, thank God we stayed away from this guy.
What a disaster.
Well, there we go.
Andrew,
we certainly wish the best for Andrew
in the weeks to come.
With
so does that mean Fergie's available?
You got 15 extra rooms over there.
She was quite a fetching young lass,
as they say across the pond.
I mean, in her day,
in her day.
I mean, she must have done something special to catch this wild fucking.
She, yeah, I'm sure had some talents.
You know, those redheads.
I'll tell you what, but
what do we mean in her day?
What she can't be?
How old would she be?
She's got to be at least 60.
She's, I guess, she was.
Sarah Ferguson.
Listed here as British author.
Okay.
Duchess of York.
Yeah.
66 years old.
66.
Holy crap.
So who wants to date a 66-year-old who lives with her ex-husband?
Who has no job, who's always around, has got no friends?
At the same point, you're assuming the 66-year-old still wants to date at all.
For heaven's sake, I know
that's terrible.
A vibrant young woman, like in my mind, she was, is suddenly turned into a 66-year-old cat lady.
She kind of looks like Ann Margaret, if she fell off a cliff.
But no, I'm sure she, you know, companionship's important.
I'm sure her and Andrew have great conversations.
I'm going to think of her like she was when she was young and vibrant and full of spunk.
And I'll have that memory.
That's her lasting memory in my mind.
She was Diana got all the attention.
Fergie was the, she was the wild one.
You could tell.
It's one of my favorite British tabooid nicknames, Fergie for her.
My other favorite is Jacko and Wacko Jacko for Michael Jackson.
Those are the best.
Oh, I thought why were they calling Fergie Jacko?
But it was Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But
and then the singer, the singer Fergie came along and stole like for a long time.
And then, of course, I knew Carl Fergey, Lawler's cousin, who wrestled when I was
younger.
So he was a royal.
He's a royal pain in the ass.
No, I'm kidding.
I love Carl Fergie.
He's a great guy.
I just had to do that.
Yeah, son of a gun.
I love Fergie.
But yeah, so I was always confused as to which Fergie they were talking about.
Usually it wasn't Carl.
But speaking of people whose appearance,
I'll get out of this now somehow.
This has been crown talk.
The crown talk.
The appearance of some people changes, like Fergie
and other people like Vince McMahon,
who
I don't know what now he's
he's obviously changed his approach to trying in his mind to disguise his age.
He has gotten rid of the facial hair completely.
And in the photos that we saw, he came to court the other day on that traffic thing where he got a slap on the wrist and
they said, don't do that anymore.
But nevertheless, about that, he gets out of a, there's footage of him going in court.
He gets out of the car.
He's got more of his security people with him than there are cops at the courthouse.
And they're walking him in.
And he's
doing the Mitch McConnell thing where he's walking a little kind of stooped over, and he's got these people beside him close enough to where they can steady him if anything happens.
But he's sprier than Mitch.
But
there's eight people, Brian.
You've seen this video.
There's eight people in like a roped-off barricade, eight fans, Vince, Vince.
Because they knew he was going to be there.
It was publicized.
But now that brings up Vince McMahon
only drew eight fucking people.
But nevertheless.
And one of them was in like an old WWF blazer.
Yes.
Yes.
He looked like he could have been an usher from the Wacomico Youth Center in Salisbury or whatever.
But
they ask him for autographs and he stops the security people.
Oh, I'm going to sign it.
He signs the autographs.
But when he goes in,
the hair, first of all, and then there's a picture of him circulating in court.
He's the people are already sending out the Pepe Le Puew memes because he's got the white streak bleached in the front of his hair.
Or is that his real hair and the rest of it is dyed?
Or would you have to dye
all of your hair black and then do that?
I'm not a hairdresser.
But it's so obviously not natural that, yes, people do get gray streaks in their hair, but not in symmetrically perfect fashion
to look literally like Sputnik Monroe.
The rest of his hair is black.
He's got the bleached white streak in the front.
But now his face is, as I said, completely devoid of any facial areas.
He's back to that.
But Brian, what is growing out of his forehead?
There are protrusions now.
Is that
the result of long-term human growth hormone?
He has a
Neanderthal or Cro-Magnon.
I'm not up on my goddamn Paleolithic fucking
biology, but he's got a goddamn brow extending out over his eyebrows.
It looks like he's growing devil horns.
Help me here.
Try to describe this.
I can't help you.
I hate when you say that when there's clearly no help that could be given.
Looks like he's ready to fight Dick Tracy.
I don't know what exactly this look is here.
But I'm starting to think that the hair thing is to distract from the face thing.
I think that's what the mustache was.
I think that's what.
Because it's not just that there's a silver streak, it's jet black on the sides.
Yes, look above his ears.
Then there's the weird, I don't know, bulging brow thing.
Like, look at his eyes and his nose.
It almost seems like everything's kind of been pulled together closer
to like the center.
Well, no, it's actually because the outside edges are getting wider.
Because
put this next to a picture of Vince McMahon Sr., he's getting his father's
jaw, and
from his eyes down, the shape of his face is now looking like his dad.
But the eyes have retreated somehow, like they're scared of the rest of the encroaching face.
And the
again, right, it's not even all the way across his eyebrows.
It's just right over his nose, like four inches wide, is this protrusion.
I think it's the growth hormone.
I think it's plastic surgery.
I think he's had a facelift or something.
What he had devil horns inserted in his forehead.
I can't explain that.
That just makes what I'm saying.
That may be just him, but it definitely appears that he's had his face done.
It
appears like he's had his face done in.
I don't know, but this this looks better.
He looks more human-like than with the
Snadly whiplash mustache and whatever was going on at that point, because that just looked so bizarre.
Did you see the video of him walking?
Yeah, he was.
If he was to run into a plate glass window, his nose would hit, his feet would still be three feet away.
He was leaned over like he couldn't get up straight.
Which, I mean, he's 80.
We're not, you know, but geez.
Yeah, he's still trying to
mask the fact that he's fucking 80.
Can't you just be 80?
And people would have some type of sympathy, possibly.
Do you think his company will get a project off the ground before he dies?
I don't want to.
I mean,
I would imagine he'll do something now that he's announced
a company.
He'll have to do something.
I'm not saying he's going to die next year.
It doesn't look like he's ready to be put in a jar of blue liquid, but he's just, he's showing the effects of that.
I don't think he needs to work as hard as he wants to work or be as public as he
apparently may need to be to keep.
Who's he?
He's not really on television and he's not really just making public appearances.
He's
making himself up in that fashion for the people he's dealing with, right?
Like that, they would think that that means that he is not an 80-year-old wacko multi-billionaire because he's got an element of Ernie Kovacs to him.
I'm trying to understand who he's doing this for.
Now, Ernie Kovacs was creative.
Let's not compare him
to Ernie Kovacs.
None of it makes sense.
None of it makes any sense.
He's choosing this look.
I can understand why none of the sycophants around him want to say, boss, you look fucking ridiculous.
What are you doing to yourself?
Everyone's laughing at you.
Something Vince never had.
Vince never had everyone laughing at him.
No.
And that's what his appearance has done
two or three years straight now.
Just every time you see him, it's a little bit different.
It's kind of, it kind of builds on what you previously saw, but you're still surprised.
And think about how long it was that his look never changed.
So it's even more startling when he's just trying shit when he's 80.
I think it's the age thing, though.
I think he's had work done to his face, not realizing that it never looks good.
It always looks bad, whether it's a woman or a man, whoever's doing this.
It never looks good.
And I think it's because he's he's getting old he's 80.
he doesn't want to get old he wants to get out of his face he could face time with linda wherever she may be and figure out that it doesn't look good when you have plastic surgery done at that age
boy those two face time would look like some kind of weird
i don't it looks like they gave linda bell's palsy rather than a facelift i don't know what is happening there but
nevertheless back on the road back on the road yes everybody better be happy with how I look because I'm not doing shit to change it.
Except if something hurts, and I'll get that fixed.
Speaking of fixing people,
our friend Andre got fixed up real good.
He's been disappeared by the authorities.
And
I guess now, Brian.
Does Tony Kahn have a legal staff anymore that checks this shit out
before, or does he just take the wrestler's word for it?
I'm good, boss.
I can be on TV.
Okay.
Let's put you on national TV a week after you left the other company
after not examining any paperwork applicable to your employment there at said company.
And I don't know how many times you would have dealt with a situation like that, but would it be uncommon for a promoter or booker to say, can I see your contract?
Can I actually see what's going on so I know we're in the clear?
Let alone the legal team.
Well, it wouldn't have been a, it would have been unknown for a booker to say, let me see your contract because there weren't any when we had bookers.
But in this modern world, this litigious society and the fact
that again,
the guy had just been working for the WWE.
It made news that he was fired for apparently, as we found out now, not breaking new ground or slandering anybody here, flunking a number of the wellness tests and disciplinary, however, these things were phrased.
But
he would, because he was fired with a, how do the legal folks say it, Brian?
With cause,
there is a clause in the contracts that says that you cannot, even though we're not paying you, you still have a no-compete.
You still cannot work in this industry, in this prescribed part of the world, whatever, for X length of time.
And
whether Andre could say, well, English is my second language.
I didn't understand it.
But the burden, it seems, would fall on
not Tony Kahn, who's last I checked among his many professions and jobs was not attorney.
It seems like before you put somebody on television in this day and age, you would have a person on your team responsible for looking at contracts and knowing what the fuck that they're doing when they're looking at it.
Look at his old contract and then give him a new one.
Or elsewise, if you put somebody on television,
then you are at risk of what is about to happen, which is he came in, knocked out one of the top guys, got yanked off TV because he wasn't really allowed to be there, and will probably end up re-signing with the WWE and going back to work for them
after having knocked out Tony Khan's top babyface.
Yeah, see, it wasn't just they put him on TV and who knows what the process was, if there was any, for checking what his actual status was.
They had him knock out Kenny Omega.
They did a big angle.
He revealed himself.
He took off his mask, got a big pop.
He revealed himself.
He showed his ass, is what Mama Cornette would say.
But go ahead.
Joined the Callis family.
He was the newest member of the Callis family.
And now he wasn't even allowed to come to Don's birthday party.
They're not even allowed to say his name on the show right now.
So, this is a crazy situation.
He thought he was gone.
Okay, they don't want me.
I could do whatever I want.
Their contracts, WWE contracts, at least as of the last few years,
say that if you get fired for cause, whatever that may be, one year,
you can't work
profession.
And
you're not just talking out your ass there.
You have one of those contracts.
Why don't you read exactly what it says so people get a grip on
whether or not Tony's ACE legal team could have caught this if they'd have bothered to look at it?
Yeah, I have several WWE contracts here from different times.
This one right here is from at least early 2023.
Section 11, early termination.
This agreement may be terminated by promoter during the term for any or no reason whatsoever.
Jesus.
By providing
by providing wrestler at least 90 days advance written notice of said termination.
The 90th day shall be defined as the termination date.
This agreement may be terminated prior to the end of its term by a written instrument executed by each of the parties, expressing a mutual consent, to terminate without any further liability on the part of either party.
Obviously, that didn't happen.
This agreement may be terminated by promoter immediately due to wrestler's breach.
In the event of a termination pursuant to Section 111A and Section 111B,
promoter shall be obligated to pay the wrestler a prorated portion of the minimum annual compensation up until the termination date and to pay wrestler any royalties he may be due in accordance with the other sections.
Trying to see anything else about firing.
There's a lot of stuff here, obviously.
This agreement shall automatically and immediately terminate upon wrestler's death, and promoter shall have no further obligation to wrestler or wrestler's heirs, successors, personal representatives, or assigns pursuant to any of the terms.
I will say real quick, one thing that hasn't changed, this is the most one-sided contract in entertainment, a WWE contract.
Most definitely.
Upon expiration or termination of this agreement for any reason, the parties acknowledge that the promoter shall own in perpetuity all right, title, and interest in all footage, works, promoter intellectual property, and any registrations thereof.
Promoter shall also have the exclusive right to sell or otherwise dispose of any materials, goods, merchandise, or other items as previously set forth here.
Upon termination of this agreement by promoter for breach of the terms hereof, wrestlers shall not work, appear, or perform in any capacity for any professional wrestling, sports entertainment, mixed martial arts, or ultimate fighting organization, promotion, or entity not owned and controlled by the promoter, or any affiliated or subsidiary company thereof.
In the United States, for a period of up to one year from the date of such expiration or termination, as specified by the promoter in the notice of termination.
So let's stop there.
And again, this is a big contract and a lot of different things.
WWE could do whatever they want.
And the other thing is these non-competes, you talk to any lawyer.
They'll tell you that's absurd.
You can't prevent someone without pay from not working in their trade.
in their country for a year.
The issue is you have to go fight that.
Yeah.
However, by the time you get the thing worked through court, it's probably more than a year.
And costly.
And
like you said at the top,
he ain't going to AEW anytime soon.
I don't know if this is the fight Tony Khan wants where he'll say, hey, use my lawyers.
Tony may be like, you know what?
Fuck all this.
WWE is the probable place he'll return.
I don't know for how much, for how long,
or if it'll be here for mexico well they just took pablo escobar back and he was
less important now than this this whole controversy
the question is
again because of the disciplinary problems
they're not going to take him back and reward him with this
with
a big push on this television but i think they will probably send him back to mexico and figure okay,
let me be down there, less eyes on him.
And we've still made
AEW look like dipshits.
Man, I'm reading this.
I mean, WWE has everything.
Here are reasons they could fire you for breach.
Promoter has the right to terminate wrestler pursuant to any of the provisions of the drug policy adopted by WWE.
as well as the amendments, additions, modifications to such drug policy.
If the wrestler is not in compliance with the representation and warranty set forth in Section 10-2,
including without limitation, cardiovascular tests, physical examination, or other medical screening implemented by promoter, if the wrestler is habitually late or absent for scheduled events or appearances, as promoter determines, in its sole discretion.
That's the Bruno San Martino clause.
I said you were supposed to be booked here.
You didn't show up.
Suspend him, send him to Toronto.
If a wrestler fails to maintain physical condition or training such that his weight and or performance is unsatisfactory, as determined by the promoter, in their sole discretion, if a wrestler fails any physical examination conducted on the behalf of the promoter.
If the promoter on the behalf of the wrestler is unable to obtain any necessary athletic commission license or immigration documents, including visas.
If a wrestler fails to appear at any event as directed by the promoter, in accordance to previous sections in here,
if a wrestler fails to comply with a medical direction given by a physician,
and again, it goes on and on and on.
And it also gives the promoter the right to...
But now at the same time, Brian,
the guys are independent contractors.
Because there's no level of control as an employer would have over their actions.
In the event that the wrestler breaches this this agreement, promoter may recover such actual direct damages as may be established by a court of law.
In addition, in the event of termination due to a breach of the agreement by a wrestler, by the wrestler, or by wrestler here,
it is understood and agreed that wrestlers shall forfeit and shall not be entitled to any remaining minimum annual compensation owed and any future payments that may have been due to the wrestler.
Jesus.
Wrestlers shall not appear under.
That would count royalties from shit that they haven't accounted for yet that's already been sold.
How many times have we heard about guys going home and all of a sudden the royalty checks stop or they get real slow?
And they're not exactly fired.
They still work there, but WWE is using what they can to pressure you to do what they want.
And they have the contractual right to do it, according to this.
Wrestlers shall not appear under, use, refer to, or exploit in any manner, parenthetically or
So, technically, at their sole discretion, they could suspend you for conduct that, in their sole opinion, was improper and then extend your contract the amount of time that they suspended you.
And then not send you your royalties.
And then not send you your royalties while you're sitting there at home.
This is a contract that
any lawyer that sees it tells you it's crazy.
Any entertainment lawyer that sees it tells you this is one-sided.
You'll get fucked if they decide to.
But that's WWE.
That's the one thing they're still able to take advantage of.
Now, people are just desperate to go work there.
There's nowhere else to go.
All the guys want to be there now.
It's been their dream.
The dream of all the big stars of the previous generation
had been fragmented because there wasn't one national place that you could make all the money that everybody wanted to go to.
So,
and also, they were
all the previous generations generations looked at the business a little more differently than the guys do today.
You know, it goes back to the discussion we had when the word first came out that Andrade was leaving WWE, and we were talking about why would Tony want him or would Tony want him?
Where's the value?
If this guy expects to make seven figures a year
and he's a headache and he's a pain in the neck and he gets fired for cause,
and then he doesn't even know his own contract terms and he shows up on another company's show, which, if WWE wanted to, could kick off a whole bunch of legal fucking drama for Andrade and for Tony Khan and for Warner Brothers' Discovery, quite frankly.
Yeah.
Where's, you know, again, being a star in Mexico is one thing.
Is he going to make a difference?
Is it worth the headache at this point?
What are you asking me?
Help me.
Well, that says, I'm going to tell you the same thing.
You told me there is no help for you.
But you know what?
What would help Andre right now, to be honest with you, is if he had another business to fall back on, Brian.
If he had something else to do that wasn't related to this madcap world of wrestling, where he could
apply his creativity and his drive and determination and
everything but his wellness policy failures to do something else under his own name, his own brand, his own dream.
And then he could be free of all of these legal constraints because he'd be making just bukus of money on his own.
But you know what, Brian?
The reason why he doesn't do that, he doesn't have anybody to help him, anybody to partner with him, anybody to lead him, anybody to show him the way, to take him by the hand and lead him through obscurity and into the summit of richness and wealth beyond his wildest dreams
so that's his problem
yeah
well boy i wish i knew somebody i was about to say i think jim we may know somebody that can help poor old andrade
deal with his uh work issues and that is our friends at shopify Yes, it is.
And they can help him with his work issues.
I don't know about his work ethic.
That may be up to him.
But folks, you say, what if I can't design a website?
Well, Shopify has got you from the get-go.
Beautiful, ready-to-go templates to match your brand style where you'll hear that cha-ching of money being made.
You say, you say you got questions.
You say, what if I need a hand?
Well, you can get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images.
You know, I was just talking to this woman down the street.
I walk by her house all the time.
I see her through the open window and I say, what are you doing?
She says, I'm just trying to enhance these product images.
I wish I had somebody to help me.
She's wearing a house dress and she's got a mop and a bucket.
Listen, I don't know what kind of example this is, but this is not the kind of.
Or what if you need a hand writing product descriptions?
You can just lie your ass off on your own, but other people can make it sound plausible to describe your your product in its best light.
What if you need help generating discount codes?
Well, Shopify can give you that cha-ching
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What if people hadn't heard about your brand?
Shopify helps you find your customers with easy run of the mill.
No, easy to run email.
Not yes.
Easy to run email and social media campaigns.
There's nothing run of the mill about them.
And if you get stuck, then Shopify is going to drop you like a hot potato, turn their back and don't even, they don't know you because you've, you've fucked up now and you're going to have to pay the price for it.
But they're always around to share advice with their award-winning 24-7 customer support team.
Many of these
folks are really rehabilitating their lives.
You know, they get the customer support team.
through local programs benefiting parolees who need another chance in life and they have won numerous awards.
I don't know if any of this is true, so let's not say it because I don't know where you're getting these facts from.
Well, they got an award-winning 24-7 customer support staff, but how you think they keep them there 24-7?
They're incarcerated.
They're not
incarcerated.
You hear that, Jim?
They're coming down.
And what they're saying is, no one's been incarcerated.
They have great workers and there's great people ready for you 24-7 because they're all over the world.
Someone's always awake and you're always awake or you will be because of
the sounds of buys and sells and there it is.
Whoa, it's all happening.
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They don't turn the lights off in the cell block because they want the team to be alert and awake.
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You will get all of Shopify's resources and team behind you.
If you need to make license plates, also,
if you need some fake license plates for your car, Shopify's got their support staff.
Shopify is not the place to do that.
Do some license plates.
They don't do any license plates.
This isn't the AWA, ladies and gentlemen.
What we're telling you about is great
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No convicts, no prison, nothing else that has been said here.
We're talking about the history of the world.
No, they're not.
They're
working on a second chance on life.
They're working hard because they know that you're working hard for your business.
No one works harder than yourself for your own business.
Shopify is there.
That's crude.
Shopify is there to help you.
Let's say nice things here at the end, as well as the
promo code.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And besides that, you know, Jesus Christ, these people deserve a second chance with all of the various things.
The parole officer said that it would not be a problem.
Turn your dreams into reality and give yourself a shot at success with Shopify, one dollar a month trial period, shopify.com/slash JCE,
and that will take you to the promised land of wealth and riches.
And,
you know, again,
I think that
the DNA evidence was bullshit, but Shopify.
Once again, don't know anything about DNA evidence, but shopify.com/slash slash JCE.
Well, Seth Rollins' DNA was left all over the canvas the other night on Raw
because this was October the 13th, that red letter day, Brian,
where just they were still in Australia, stuck down under
in a kangaroo's pouch.
And he'd hurt himself on Saturday morning.
So on
Monday morning, when they did,
did they have the people show up at 8 o'clock in the morning in Australia?
No, that was just over here.
But nevertheless,
they tried to make chicken salad out of chicken shit and
go ahead and speed up the plans for Braun Breaker.
and shock everybody and whatever.
Apparently, all the things that we thought they would do in about six months, they did them all
that night.
And because Seth is going to be out however long he's going to be out.
So,
otherwise than that, Raw was a very
disheartening and
unenergetic program.
But
the Seth Rollins thing was the thread through the whole program.
And also,
at the same time, the three-way, the reason why we didn't understand
why the fuck
that Punk would have won a three-way and then they turned the heels turn on Seth and make him a babyface is because they knew at that time
that Punk went in a world title match and Seth wasn't going to be the champion by the time that it came about to begin with.
However, they're going to handle this, we still don't know.
Are they going to
put the title up at the winner of a match or a multiple man match or, you know, put it in a claw machine and see who can grab it quick i don't know
but i just hate that this happened if for nothing else for braun breaker not because i don't want to see him get a a chance right now
but it's because i
i i hate it that everything didn't
It wasn't able to progress and plan out as it was meant to be so that they could really be prepped and ready for it.
I mean, I think
he'll take it and run with it no matter what, but you know what I'm saying, if they'd have actually been able to do what they intended to do.
But
who knows?
Maybe this is better.
Just pull this shit out of our ass.
I don't, what do you think?
About what?
About all that?
Yes, and even more.
You know, the interesting thing about the Rollins injury and what has now happened because of it is on several occasions, both when he was working the knee injury and also, I think, just a few weeks on Raw after that even.
Heyman works with Bronson and Braun.
Seth and at that time also Becky were just kind of muddying it up.
Seth didn't need Heyman.
Seth was becoming annoying.
The fans enjoy his song.
Yes.
I think that gives him the overconfidence to think they enjoy him.
And I don't know if that's necessarily the case, but Heyman seemed to have something happening with momentum with the bronze.
And it didn't feel like that with Seth Rollins.
And when you saw them without Seth Rollins, they immediately stood out more.
So I think this may be a blessing in disguise.
I don't know what they exactly they had in their minds that they were going to do.
So I can't say whether it would have been better or worse, but I just feel like sometimes last-minute shit, when you've got to do something,
sometimes
you have to scrap shit that
would have been better for the guy.
But nevertheless, do you think they have to turn Becky?
I hadn't even thought of it, to be honest with you.
But
I don't think they have to turn her as far as interacting
with the other girls necessarily.
But you know what?
I don't know why she would be interacting with Paul and the bronze, except actually she ought to, since they've made an issue of her
being married to Seth, and they had the
battling Bickerson's married couple mixed tag.
So,
shouldn't Becky
not come out and fucking tackle maybe Becky tackling Paul?
That'd be fun.
But shouldn't Becky want somebody to help her get even with the people that fucked her husband around?
If they just wanted to make it make sense,
But that
this was the thing, as you could tell from the start.
And of course, I got the spoiler because when we were recording the show a few days ago, a couple of days ago, you said in the middle of it, oh,
because we forgot that it happened at eight o'clock in the morning.
It had already happened.
Was that what I said?
You said, oh, and I said, ha.
That's what we both said.
But when I go back and watch it now, I mean, it was going to be obvious anyway, because
through the whole thing, they were in the ring at the start, Seth and the bronze and Paul.
And
Seth was wearing the
upholstery from a couch as a jacket to hide his shoulder issue.
But
he put them over how great they were: Bronson Reed and Braun Breaker and Paul Heyman.
And he kissed Paul on the head.
And
he was saying, with my vision, I took all three of you in and made you great.
And now you're so great.
And this is the greatest thing ever.
And
then he cut the promo on Roman Reigns, a punk.
You know, I'm, nobody's on my level because I haven't needed anyone.
Roman Reigns needed some people, somebody.
Cody needed somebody.
I don't need Bronson Bronson and
Braun, and I don't need Paul.
I beat Cody on my own.
I don't need these three.
I've chosen them.
And
there's more which we'll get to in a second, but it was so
over the top.
You're so great.
I'm so proud of all of you.
We love each other.
We've been longtime lifelong friends.
But I did it on my own.
These are all things that Paul is then going to bring up when he finally explains why they did what they did.
And
then they came back later on in the program.
And
they had to, you know, Seth was telling Paul that
he loved the last six months they've been together.
And the next 12 months, 18 months, it's all going to be something big is on the horizon.
And again,
he told the bronze, it's the greatest weekend of my life.
And he compared it to his wedding day and the birth of his child.
We're on the mountaintop
and we're about to take the next step.
Where?
Where is it?
Out into the fucking vast open air.
And he says, nobody can knock me off.
the mountaintop.
So it just, they're building up to it.
And did you see that it was kind of gratuitous at that point that he was going that far with it?
You know, I was looking for the other reactions.
And,
you know, again, it started off with him putting everyone over and it kind of felt like that was the right thing.
When he started saying how he did it all himself, which, you know, does play into
what was the match.
He really did actually win it by himself, but saying it over and over and saying it the way he did.
Heyman had an interesting,
you know, he's standing next to him, looking up, but kind of giving him the side eye.
But it was real subtle.
It was really good.
And again, you know, now we saw it after the fact.
I saw it after we heard what was going to happen.
The question is, would I have thought watching this promo?
Hey, something's about to happen.
I don't know.
I don't know if I would have caught it when I first, if I saw it before I knew what happened.
Hey, well, that's true because I was looking for it again, but it seemed that they were.
They were trying to establish their closeness as quickly and possibly and as tightly as they could.
But then
finally, that's the main event was the triple threat match
to see who would get the, you'd be the number one contender, get the next shot at Seth.
And
Jey Uso came in and they yeeted and
then LA Knight came in and they yad.
And then
Alaka Mussolini.
and out back jack it was like australia's favorite son out back jack had come back to life.
They loved punk.
And one woman's sign was, I waited 19 years to see CM Punk.
She was a fetching lass again, but I'm hoping I'm doing the math.
It looked like she was legal when she started lusting over him in her heart.
And
again, they've actually got a song now with words.
So they sang the whole
next verse after the music faded.
They sang sang the whole next verse, a cappella.
Can you sing a cappella, Brian?
I could, but I'm not going to.
I'll do a little for you.
No.
Oh, acapella, a cappella, oh, a capella.
See, it's easy.
Do you know what the name of the group on Where in the World is Carmen San Diego was?
Now, Sad, what, now, what?
The show, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego, a famous person.
I don't even know.
I wouldn't know Carmen San Diego if I saw her.
So, how am I going to pick her out of a fucking crowded place?
Well, you probably wouldn't see her.
You probably wouldn't be able to find her, but that's besides the point.
The group on that show was Rockapella.
Rockapella.
Rockapella.
They added a little more rock to their Pella.
Well, you know, those Pellas are nothing to fucking sneeze at.
Anyhow,
I don't like the three
top babyfaces or three of them
bitching at each other because
I know everybody knows that it's bullshit and it's fake and it's phony these days.
It's all a show and they just get to sing everybody's song and
yeet everybody's yeah.
But it's making them at some point, even down deep, it's making them pick their favorite baby face
and then naturally giving them somewhat of a negative thought of the other ones if their favorite baby face doesn't come out of this.
But nevertheless,
to be honest, besides that, normally I'm not
that complimentary about Jey Uso's work, even though he's over.
And I also acknowledge that people love him.
But this match was jet lagged.
All three of these guys had some type of issue.
And I think, is it just
get us back home?
We need some time home.
We're all the way across the fucking world because their brains weren't working.
Did you see
where Punk went to slam or did slam L.A.
Knight for the elbow off the top rope, and he realized what he did, he slammed him the wrong way.
L.A.
Knight's head was pointing the way his feet were supposed to, because
When Punk slammed him, normally he would go to the turnbuckle on the right for the elbow, but Jay was selling in that corner, so he had to go to the turnbuckle to the left.
So he should have slammed LA Knight so his feet were in the other direction.
And as he slammed him, he looked up and he, I think, I actually heard he made the motion like, but I think I actually heard
it.
And he went up and did it anyway.
And you can kind of see LA Knight thinking, he was up there for a minute, how am I going to land?
And LA Knight was thinking, how's he going to fucking land?
And then
at one point,
L.A.
Knight had done a deal where he slipped off of a go-to-sleep and hit the reverse DDT thing and DDT'd Jay, but Jay had to get so close for what they were setting up that when he
deed him.
When he DD'd him,
when he DDT'd him, Jay's feet were under the bottom rope and he just kind of crumpled.
And then L.A.
Knight did the deal where he jumps to the top rope and does the elbow off, but he did a double elbow, but he landed in between them
and missed Punk by like two fucking feet.
And when he sat up, you can see, God damn it.
And he covers Punk and Punk kicked out because he hadn't touched.
And then they replayed it in slow motion, going to the break.
And it showed he got Jay and he was two feet away from Punk.
And then at another point,
he went to give punk a superplex and his feet bobbled he got punk over
but that looked a little rough they just
i think they need to come home finally
la night hit the bft on punk but uso saved it and ran la night into the stairs
and then tried to splash off the top on punk the punk raised his knees hit the the go-to-sleep covered him one two three.
And then Punk picked up his fake gold teeth, Uzo's fake gold teeth that were laying there and acted like he stole them and put them in his tights.
I didn't know those gold teeth came out.
I thought Jay was just committed to the fucking gimmick and had made a serious dental mistake.
No, it's serious.
It's a replaceable dental option.
I've never heard of such a thing.
But anywho, before we go on for the aftermath of this whole situation, did you see a little herky jerkiness in this main event?
Yeah,
I did.
And,
you know, we've seen a little herky jerkiness in some recent L.A.
night matches.
I don't know if it's him or if it's just the matches themselves, but it's a three-way match.
They're in Australia.
On a good day, Jey Uso's Jey Uso.
Punk needs the right opponent.
You know, this wasn't the right mix for either of these guys, any of these guys.
There's three of them.
All three of these people.
Three, either, either, or.
Well, then
we've established that Punk gets Seth for the title.
He's the new number one contender.
And here plays, here plays, here plays Seth's music.
And here comes Paul and the bronze and the whole group.
And
Braun Breaker spears Uso in the aisleway.
And then he spears L.A.
Knight at Ringside.
So So Punk is surrounded.
And they attack Punk.
And Braunbreaker hits him with a spear, and Bronson Reed hits him with a splash.
And then Seth Rollins trash talks him, and they shit can him out on the floor.
And they all raise their hands.
And here's the credits on screen and the copyright notice.
Well, there you go.
The show's winding up.
And all of a sudden,
Braun spears Seth out of his fucking boots.
Whoosh!
And a huge pop.
Because they don't care anymore about betrayal or backstabbing or cheating or lying or deception.
They just want to see shit that they don't expect.
And Paul got that gobsmacked face that he gets where.
His eyes and his mouth become as round as his jowls.
And he said, what the fuck are you doing?
And Braun told Bronson Reed, make a choice.
You're with me or you're not.
And Bronson Reed pulled Seth over and gave him the splash off the top rope.
And then Paul gets down and he covers Seth.
He's like, no more, no more.
And Braun tells Paul.
Make a choice, you're with me or you're not.
And then Braun snatched the belt from Seth and Paul got got in between them and raised their hands and got a big pop for these dastardly heels that have just hurt this poor fellow.
But now, and again, I love the Brauns, and they're a top tag team.
And you've still
established that Braun Breaker is the guy.
And Paul's perfect with them.
I would like to have seen what they were going to do, but I'm not opposed to them being in this spot because it was going to happen anyway.
I think I said a month ago or whenever, you know, whenever Braun
wants to come out from under Seth's shadow and the jealousy creeps in, or whatever, there you'll do it.
So it just rushed up.
But
the bigger thing is they had other Seth Rollins matches with Punk and with Drew, or not Drew, but the other Hoochie Coochie fellow.
What's his name?
God, anyway, they had Punk set up.
Yeah, they had punk and charo set up.
And
now they got to re-rack all that shit.
You know, I just thought about it too.
Heyman with Braun and Bronson works better with Brock than Rollins.
Visually, it works.
Do you think?
Should that be their name if they were French?
Le Bron.
I don't know.
That may be trademarked.
But what do you think if you knew that you had a top guy who, and now they're going to have to do something with the world title, world champion, crown jewel champion, he had the belt there.
If you had that guy, top heel, has a stable and he gets hurt, is this what you would have done?
If he got hurt, I think, yeah, I think this is the thing to do because it needed to be Braun Breaker.
And it didn't need to be.
Like Paul orchestrated it.
It needed to be that Braun said, now's the time and you're coming with me, or I'll fuck you up, too.
So, yes, I would have done this had I had to.
Well, there it is: WWE Raw 8 a.m.
edition
in Perth, Australia.
Well, Brian, I know they can't help these injuries from occurring, but the booking apparently should get a lot better in the WWE because I understand now they're going to start having a robot do it.
Are they they have seriously
hired hired a guy to help them into AI for storytelling, creative, and video and graphics.
Is this what now
they're letting the people know?
Well, there was a story in the Wrestling Observer newsletter this week, and then as soon as it was in there, everyone started sending it around because it's pretty outrageous on its face.
The idea that there's now an expert in the creative process who is there specifically to facilitate AI,
helping out with ideas and videos, and
eventually, I guess, replacing people's jobs, which will finally answer the question, what's better, the writing team, or a bunch of robots.
But that's what it seems.
Let me pull up some stuff here I could read.
Well, now this guy has got incredible experience in the wrestling industry, right?
Certainly, they can't just bring in some outsider that has no idea what the fuck's going on in the wrestling business.
Well, I have something here in the Wrestling Observer newsletter.
Cyrus Kosari, if that's how you pronounce that, was hired last month as a new senior director of creative strategy.
He had previously been a producer for BuzzFeed from 2016 to 2022
and for one,
the MMA company from 2022 until last month.
He was introduced to the creative staff by Paul Levesque.
In introducing him, Levesque said that Kosari would lead WWE's transition to AI-based storytelling and integrate AI into creative services like video and graphics.
Let's stop there for a moment, because those are two very different things.
Using images and your cataloging,
having AI make a video,
or having AI make graphics,
but but having AI write the creative is insane.
Yeah.
And that's the again, you know, I'm amazed at the things that they can do with the fancy new space age technology with video and graphics and animation and all that stuff.
And that's perfectly fine, except,
you know, that's one of the reasons why I watch old movies because it's actual human beings, so that you can take anything too far.
And they actually had to do the stunts they did on camera.
But storytelling, we've heard and read examples of when AI writes something.
And for the average dipshit on the corner, AI might sound like they can write, but for people who actually can write, it sounds ridiculous.
And
how would they think?
Well,
there's a report that I'm looking at here.
They already tried
AI writing, apparently, at some point in the recent past.
Have you read this paragraph here?
Yeah, that's here too.
Let me just say that in this introduction of Kasari to the creative team,
Paul Levesque said this shift is inevitable when it comes to creative and wrestling, and that Kosari will be both managing AI storytelling as well as the White House liaison.
as Levesque is taking on more duties in politics in some form.
WWE is a contract with Writer AI,
a platform which has already been fed WWE content.
Thus far, the AI software has come up with what one person with knowledge of the situation called absurdly bad storylines.
They pitched a storyline where Bobby Lashley, who I guess AI thought thought was still with the company, could come back as a wrestler who is obsessed with Japanese culture and history.
Artificial intelligence is exactly that.
It's artificial intelligence.
It's not really
capable of
abstract thought.
It just corrals a bunch of shit that's already out there on the internet.
And most of the people on the internet talking about wrestling are the nerds that are obsessed with the Japanese wrestling.
So that's all you're going to get.
Well, it says here also that the feeling is that once the bugs are worked out, AI will begin to have a major impact on storyline direction.
We are aware that another promotion previously tested out AI for creative help
and suggestions and found that it couldn't understand pro wrestling and storylines.
And that's what Tony said.
That's what Tony said, I'll do it myself.
And it says here a little bit below, just talking about TKO, the difference between TKO and Vince McMahon, there are also fears of AI taking jobs.
Yeah, that's going to happen.
That company has looked for nothing but reasons to lay people off.
AI is their wet dream.
But
again, anybody that reads anything that an AI thing has written, you can tell it's not a person easily.
It's see-through.
How do they think that that will somehow
help them figure out what I, oh my God.
Well, the other thing is, too.
I don't even understand why professional wrestling booking or creative, whatever you want to say, even if you have two big shows a week like Raw and SmackDown,
I don't understand why it's a necessity or an inevitability, as Paul Laveck allegedly said,
or wanted or needed.
But I think, you know, more and more I start to wonder if Paul Laveck is good at surrounding himself with people and, you know, going with different things, but he may not be the booking idea guy.
So you could see why AI may be an attractive thing to him for the same reason Ed Koski is an attractive thing to him.
Oh, good lord.
You know what I mean?
Just to say, hey, give me ideas.
Give me stuff we could do.
Give me stuff.
Give me a whole bunch of stuff.
You know, I think that's part of the problem.
Would Bill Watts have been curious about AI?
Probably.
Would he have used it to book his shows?
No.
And then the other thing is, how is it coming up with storylines?
Is it based on,
you know, because they said WWE uploaded content to writer AI, and that's how things were being generated.
So is it just based off storylines that have happened in the past?
Because that Lashley one sounds like Lord Tenzai,
right?
When Matt Bloom returned obsessed with everything Japan.
So, I don't know.
But, you know, you kind of need to be able to make decisions about booking and do things and not rely on
AI.
I mean, that seems completely foreign to the concept of wrestling creative to me.
Yeah, well, I'm all for it.
I think it's time we get these pesky human beings out of the way.
That's why I was at just computer generate the wrestlers at this point because you've made a product that human beings can't,
obviously, can't perform for any length of time without having their body parts fall off.
So just computer generate the wrestlers.
See, they need to do like a trial tour run where they have like holograms.
Like no actual wrestlers.
Will people pay for that?
No, he's hurt.
Well, no, not that hologram, actual holograms.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Not figments of Tony's imagination, figments of other people's imagination.
Will people come and pay these WWE prices to see
phony superstars, fake superstars?
It's like a big budget version of when you went to Disneyland when you were a kid in the 60s and went to see the fucking Hall of Presidents.
And there they are, man.
I am Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah, and we know from those contracts, WWE has the right to do that with anyone who works with them.
So maybe
a couple of presidents one day.
Apparently, Triple H wants to be one too.
That's all we need.
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You never know where
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See, it's getting into the same pattern.
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It happened the other day.
It happened twice within like five minutes.
Yeah.
And now the batteries are...
Fuck it.
We're moving on.
Where are we moving to?
We're moving over to...
Oh, we're going to jail.
We're going to jail is next.
The AEW program from
October 15th, they they had an answer to the big angle.
Seth Rollins booted out of the vision, shocking moments, shake-ups in the WWE.
So they decided to go send a couple of their guys to have a talk in jail.
Okay, but before we get there,
they started the show.
And folks, again, the new ratings,
arrangements, methodology, whatever, kerfluffle, we don't have any numbers on this thing yet because they're taking longer and they're giving us less.
But they started the show with the footage of Ibushi's injury from collision.
Then they did a million graphics for matches that were upcoming.
And then they did a sit-down in the back with Renee Moxnigud and Chris Statlander and Tony Storm.
It's almost like, and again, I'm not even knocking, I know Tony Storm's over.
I'm not even knocking her there.
But
it's almost like they don't give a shit or he just doesn't understand.
Again, another thing that Vince used to beat into everybody's head up there, get started with the action, pal.
Get into the action.
And yes, I know they've modified that in recent times with a 20-minute promo segment at the start of the show, but at least those are in live in front of the people with some of the major stars in the business.
They do a pre-tape followed by a bunch of graphics with announcer voiceovers, followed by a couple of the girls sitting down in the back.
Is that something that hooks the audience?
I took some of
Vince's teachings to me 30 years ago when he
still had faculties.
When I structured a program, if I needed a
live interview with my two top guys or two main event level talents, I would do a match at the start of the program to get the people hooked on some action and billboard what was going on in the show at the same time.
And then in seg two, you'd bring in the live interview segment.
And at least it wouldn't be just talking, talking at the top of of the program.
But nevertheless, they didn't just talk, talk.
They did attempted comedy and shtick that wasn't serious.
And now even the announcer's in on it.
Whereas Statlander recited a memorized statement that she had possibly written herself
with very overly flowery verbiage.
And this whole thing was like a lot of the program.
And that's their their problem.
It was a scene from a bad independent movie.
Because now they think they're filmmakers and actors and
producers.
Instead, it's not even a wrestling show.
It's a goddamn
workshop with independent auteurs who occasionally stop to have a fucking wrestling match.
Tell me I'm wrong, Brian.
Oh, no, I hated this.
And again, my first thought before they even started the acting was, I can't believe they were going to begin the show with this, this kind of dead set in the back with Renee.
And then they all started hamming it up.
And I'm like, oh, this is terrible.
And then Statlander, at least Tony Storm,
whatever you want to say.
She can deliver preposterous shit.
She is committed to the ridiculous Tony Storm character.
And everything she says,
you kind of believe that she potentially could be a nutty Tony Storm character statlander it was like someone auditioning for a movie for a role they're never going to get it was so fake it was so bad and that somehow the segment kept getting worse and then it just went out to the ring well and and before we go to the ring i'm not trying to just put the boots to chris statlander she's got but she couldn't speak logical she couldn't well that's the thing she's got athletic ability she's had potential she's been stuck there forever with these indie-minded clowns and nobody's working with her to develop the things that need to be developed.
And especially, Chris, what I've said before about
we need a degree of difficulty of five and an execution of 10 instead of the other way around goes for promos too.
It's not, it's not only not real, but it's not.
script writing that's worthy of, you know, it's, it's just,
so then they go out and they just say, all right, is the interview over?
Now meet me in the ring.
And they go to the ring and they have a fight.
And then
after they've been fighting, Tony Storm takes the title belt and tosses it to Statlander.
And then Tony Storm gets on her knees with her hands behind her back and dares Statlander to hit her.
But Statlander, the heel,
won't hit her and puts the belt down.
And then they start doing wrestling spots again.
How about ducks and go-behinds and German suplex, whatever.
And then Statlander grabs the belt and hands it to Tony Storm.
And Statlander gets on her knees.
This is hit me.
Well, what the fuck is going on here?
What movie did they see that they are replicating or what Japanese wrestling moment
or
what the fuck?
Tony Storm won't hit her.
Gave her the belt back and kissed her on the head and walked out.
So they had a fight.
Then one said, no, I want you to knock me out,
but the other one wouldn't.
So they did wrestling spots.
Then the other one said, I want you to knock me out, but that one wouldn't.
So then she kissed her and left.
This is the worst fakest wrestling show ever on the air.
And now we
report on it simply because I know a lot of you don't watch it.
And
we've got the comments where it's like, we're just entertained by hearing you say what they did.
And that's the, we have to just report now on what the fuck they're doing.
And
it gets worse.
It's more entertaining to hear about it than it is to watch it.
And it's going to get worse because if quarter-hour ratings go away, Tony doesn't have any incentive to book for anything other than what he thinks for the overall show.
There's no more minute by minute, no more quarter by quarter.
It changes the way he's going to write the show, and it's already a disaster.
Well, explain this next one to me, Brian.
Because we had
Ricochet Stooges,
Tia Leone, and Bishop Kahn with Ricochet against
the Hurt Syndicate, Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin with MVP in a tag team match.
Draw me a diagram of this program.
Now, they had
a six-man tag
where the babyface is lost.
which led to a six-man street fight where the babyface is won.
But now they're back to having a regular tag team match.
And in the middle of that program with the six-mans, the Ricochet Stooges also got beat in a tag team title match before they could come and do the job.
In the six-man, does
is this the way this shit's supposed to go?
Oh, no.
So they finally got in a four-way, and Leone and Lashley had a double knockout on the floor.
And Shelton
Super play or suplexed
Khan off the top rope and then MVP started trying to fend Ricochet off but his cane flew out of his hand and landed in the ring.
So the referee gets the cane and is admonishing MVP and behind his back Ricochet comes in runs across the ring and clothesline Shelton Benjamin while he's on the ground already.
And then outside the ring MVP leveled Ricochet.
The The camera missed that.
But the point is,
Khan covers Shelton Benjamin one, two, three.
So Sheldon Benjamin was beaten by one clothesline from a midget
because he had just given the goddamn big move,
right?
And
then suddenly Ricochet comes in, the smallest guy in the fucking whole deal, runs across the ring and clothesline Shelton once.
And Shelton lays there while the other shit goes on.
And then Bishop Kahn
covers him one, two, three.
So
these other guys
that can't lay down for a hand grenade,
and that's a two count, but Shelton
won clothesline from the smallest guy in the fucking company.
Well, that's that's an exaggeration, considering this company.
You see what I'm saying here.
This whole feud, what the fuck?
This whole feud?
I mean, again, they're trying to elevate GOA, I guess.
I don't know if it's really taking
Ricochet.
Is he like kind of like a Michael Hayes manager?
Where he's a wrestler, but they keep him out of the ring and he acts like a Weasley heel manager.
But then you're supposed to take him seriously as a wrestler?
I don't think any of this has done the Hurt Syndicate any favors.
I don't know what they're going to do with the Hurt Syndicate, but I kind of want this feud to go away.
Boy, just think: if they'd have,
if they'd have just been able to keep MJF in the group, we could have all kinds of interesting shit going on.
But
MJF is gone Hollywood.
The longer he can stay away from this bowl of fruits and nuts, the better off I think he'll be.
At least he's not in jail, which we can't say about the other two.
All right, here's the deal.
Apparently, Darby Allen and Dick the Boozer got in a fight at a Comic-Con,
and they showed the footage of this.
And so, therefore, the announcers announced that they were going to have one more face-to-face chance to tell each other what they think of each other at an undisclosed location earlier today.
this face-to-face took place.
And they go to the tape and it's a fucking, it's a jail visitation window.
Or actually,
when they closed one of the doors at one point, it said booking.
But this was, they knew somebody,
somebody's friends with a cop.
The county jail, wherever the fuck, I don't know where this was, but it wasn't something they built for this because
they build things out of drywall with no studs.
And this was an actual legitimate concrete room with bulletproof glass and the thing you talk through
and the doors that close and the little desk.
Yeah, you know, any prison movie you've ever seen.
And they.
First of all, why would this be an undisclosed location otherwise than the cops don't want anybody to know what they use their
official headquarters for, but
where the fuck else was this supposed to be?
Does anything else in the world look like this, but a jail, Brian?
I mean, maybe
the bank.
I don't know.
There's very few options.
No, there's no bank that looks like you're going into a goddamn holding cell because you're drunk.
I'm talking about the two-way talk.
No, there's no, no, not even a drive-up, and nobody was in a car here.
They put it because they thought, again,
they think they're filmmakers.
They had the spooky lighting
and they had the dramatic music.
Ba-boom, boom, bo-boom, boom,
bo-boom, boom.
And they were making some kind of, they've seen a movie.
With a scene where the guys were talking to each other
through the window.
They're actors, they're talents.
And the thing is, Moxley's promos, again, are gibberish.
And after a year, however long it's been, nobody knows what his motivation is, what all this haha is about, but he sounds like he means it.
But Darby Allen is a troubled teenager trying to audition for a part, like you said earlier, he's not going to get.
It's all the fucking
things that he thinks of in his head that are cool.
If you said, if you were actually a big movie star and could act, but instead you're a goofy wrestler and it sounds stupid.
And
I wrote, I don't know if this is phonier or sillier.
or how stunning it is that they think they're all Oscar worthy.
But it went on and on.
And I was starting to give up and to fast forward when suddenly
Moxley is in the one room, Darby's in the other room on the other side of the glass,
and suddenly Pack comes into Darby's room
and doesn't just beat him up, but he bounces his head off of the walls until they've splattered red food coloring all over the window.
Like he was just bashing his brains out against the wall.
It's a horror movie.
And how are you going to get away with with goddamn committing felonious assault in jail?
And where else would this have been if it wasn't in jail?
And why did the cameraman that was obviously on Darby's side because they got a shot outside the door when Pac left,
why didn't he say
they're killing this guy?
They're making a fucking bad movie with a big budget of somebody else's money.
Sports-based wrestling.
That was the AEW promise, and now it's just bad TV.
It's TNA of a few years ago.
It's just not good.
It's not good.
It was like they were shooting a remake of Last House on the left with Darby being bashed into
bloody bits
just with the impressive camera work where you can see the blood splattering, but not the actual damage.
See, the problem is these guys come up with these bad ideas and then Tony Khan is not the person that will ever say no.
He may not even, I don't even think Tony recognizes these are bad segments or bad skits or bad acting.
But even if he did, he couldn't say no.
And
that's the problem with a lot of this stuff in wrestling right now.
It's stuff to make the wrestlers happy, not stuff to make the fans happy.
And segments like this are for these guys to feel like they're actors
because it wasn't going to cause anyone to say, I got to really see this match now.
Maybe they'll do the match in 4K.
I mean, what would you say?
Nothing.
Well, don't worry if this didn't make them see the match, Brian.
They're going to get another chance because they're going to beat Darby up again here later on.
See,
so because
he's not in the hospital with brain damage, he was just momentarily stunned by having his melon bashed into a concrete wall over and over until blood splattered all over the walls.
But you know what?
I was in the mood for right about now, Brian.
I'm going to tell you to be honest.
I was hungry.
Oh, really?
I wanted a good quality meal.
I'm thinking there's nothing that just trips my trigger on and whets my appetite like seeing Darby Allen pummeled into a bowl of grape jelly.
But you know, sometimes, Brian, you just don't have time to fix everything from scratch because, you know, we've got to wait and see later on in the program when they bash Darby into grape jelly again.
So I wanted something quick.
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The eggs of whale sperm.
They don't have the eggs of whale sperm.
I don't even know where you come up with.
They don't have, they've never had them in stock.
But Jim, you brought up a very important point.
I have to say, we've...
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I really want them to send more.
I guess this is my point.
It was so delicious.
But thankfully,
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Can't just grow up a lonely salmon.
And Stacey is doing doing the low-carb options.
And
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I did protein plus
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At least you're not on tape.
All righty.
Well, speaking of being on tape, the next thing they put on tape on AEW is Claudio Castignoli against Roderick Strong for 15 minutes with entrances.
By the end of it, I thought the audio had gone out, but I could still hear the announcers.
That just meant the people had checked out.
And Claudio won with an uppercut.
So it's kind of like a WWF match.
I wish we had quarter-hour ratings for this specific segment because there's no way this didn't hemorrhage viewers.
We'll never know about the hemorrhaging now with with the new methodology.
Right.
But as soon as you like, you know, you've been a champion of both these guys, but when you see these guys right now come out for this match on this show, you groan.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just not appealing in any way.
You can,
you can
make people meaningless.
If they're around in a meaningless fashion for long enough that even if they can wrestle, it doesn't matter.
Then
they had the comedy meeting at a restaurant somewhere for Don Fallas's birthday, where
Andre wasn't there.
He didn't make the party.
But also, our friend Take Shit wasn't there because he was over in Japan, but he appeared on the screen that they had.
Every restaurant has a screen for a live hookup with Japan.
And the big happening was that Okada turned, took the remote and turned him off while he was wishing Don happy birthday.
But I pressed the wrong button
because for some reason,
Tony Khan believes that people are clamoring to see
those two wrestle in this
family of 15, you know, middling nitwits.
Knowing Tony Khan, something stupid will happen.
Like it won't even happen in AEW.
It'll It'll happen to the Tokyo Dome.
Well, at least then we won't have to see it.
So we got that hope to keep us going.
And then they had a six-man tag because remember, Andre came out and knocked Kenny colder than a banker's heart here a few weeks ago.
But now that Andre is not allowed to be on TV and is probably going to go back to the WWE and never,
never will Kenny get even with what he did.
They just put old Kenny in a six-man tag,
and it was Josh Alexander, Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia,
and fat-ass Mark Davis.
He is still
carrying a goddamn, I mean, tie red flags on it when he walks through catering.
But they were going up against Jungle Jack off, Dino Douche, and the original thesbian of this troop of vaudevillions,
our friend Twinkle Toes McFinger bang himself.
And
they keep Perry out for a year, year and a half, after trying to make him some kind of tough guy, main event heel with
a bread truck that he would drive around the country.
Now he comes back and he's doing the same thing he was five, six years ago,
as is the lizard
who was off for being sick for however long and came back doing the exact same thing.
And Kenny's stuck in the middle of them
because at least it's the group of the friends.
So this has nullified any box office potential
that any of these people might have.
Has it not?
It's just, there it is.
Yeah, I don't know how much box office potential is there for any of this right now.
The Andrade thing, the Andrade thing is embarrassing, though.
The fact that this happened on their show
and look at where we are today, that's embarrassing.
They could put Kenny in something because he has a name somewhat memorable to try to get somebody over that works for them.
Actually,
they could have done something with the lizard because he's the only one that's gotten a big pop since he's been back.
Again, he's rotten, hide that, but they were happy to see him.
And then, did you see what they did in this match, Brian, in one of the breaks?
Remember what Adam Page did a couple of weeks ago?
We heard about it, where he tweeted to Warner Brothers Discovery and TBS and everything.
They're running ICE commercials.
And you know how it is when the kids say, the worst person you know just made a great point.
Page actually stood up and tweeted, hey, you guys ought to be better than that.
stop this bullshit running these commercials.
So I got to admire him for that, if nothing else.
And there is nothing else.
However, having said that,
they not only didn't stop the commercials, I fast forward through every break that I can, and I couldn't get away from them.
They doubled it up.
They outlawed cigarette advertising in 1971, but 50 years later, you can still advertise for hired thugs and wannabe bounty hunters and militia fuckwits to kidnap people off the streets for money.
And you can advertise it on national television, and
they're giving these assholes $50,000 signing bonuses, benefits,
fucking for giving student loans.
And they're
targeting the advertisements to, hey, law enforcement, aka cops that have been kicked off the force for being assholes and violating people's rights.
You want to keep doing what you like to do?
Come work for us for a bunch of money.
The government can't stay open because the Republicans want to set fire to everybody's health care.
They cut funds for kids' cancer research so Schitler can build a gold ballroom,
but they can pay these fucking pigs to cosplay as soldiers and harass and kidnap and push people around and give them $50,000 signing bonuses.
I'm glad to see that the priorities in our country are still
the way they've always been.
Hey, regardless.
Back to the six-man.
Regardless of the issue, if you're a promoter, do you want your top star sending out a public message to the station that airs you, the only station that airs you?
Saying
I have never in my
thought of, heard of an instance where I could possibly agree with that until now.
No, as a matter of fact, hold on.
Well, it wasn't really the same
the same type of deal, but in
OVW,
we got with our deal with the station,
we got eight minutes of commercial time and they got four minutes for quite some time.
And then I turned on a TV one night and all four of their minutes, because we were selling our time and we had our sponsors all four of their minutes were filled up with ads with commercials for gay 800 sex lines
and i didn't think that was the image that we wanted to be
producing there or promoting not that there's anything wrong with gay people talking about sex on the phone, but I didn't want to see these goddamn commercials on my show.
So we went and made a deal and bought the rest of the commercial time.
So we didn't have to have porn advertisements.
But otherwise than that.
And you know what?
That's one of those things that actually, if TonyCon wanted to make a statement, could work right now.
TonyCon can afford that to buy up that ad time.
If it's national, see, I don't know how much of that's national versus local.
I'm assuming it's national.
It's got to be national.
Yeah, Tony could buy it up because I haven't seen these commercials on any program here locally in Louisville.
But yeah, and also, again, they're, by the way, here in Louisville,
they had a Department of Justice consent decree against the Louisville Metropolitan Police Department because they shot Breonna Taylor and killed her.
And the pattern of racial discrimination and abuse of power and thuggery and various things.
And
everybody said, okay, well, they'll keep him in line now.
And guess what Schitler did.
His Department of Justice said, no, you don't have to fucking
worry about that anymore.
You can be as shitty as you want to be to people.
So they've actually here had to have an independent group come in and say, we're going to be the ones that are overseeing the Louisville Police Department so that the fucking local citizens wouldn't goddamn get up in arms again
and cause problems.
And now they're advertising to
these kind of cops who get kicked off the fucking force.
Hey, you still want to cosplay and be some kind of soldier of fortune?
Yeah, you can carry a weapon and push people around.
Come on over and we'll pay you a bunch more money.
That's going to work out well.
But again, to my question,
notwithstanding whether Adam Page is right or not.
Oh, it's going to get him heat, but it should.
And Tony should.
Tony should make an announcement.
I have bought that commercial time so you don't have to, our fans don't have to to watch this kind of shit.
But he won't.
But that would be a use of his money instead of
fucking signing cripples for millions.
Back to the six-man tag.
It was about
20 minutes there.
And then,
oh my God.
Jungle Jack and Dino hit the doomsday device on Chichi Chia.
And they won.
and then the hardley boys ran in and super kicked jack and super kicked dino and went to tombstone jack but kenny stopped them and then they argued again
again at this point
they're arguing he's a baby face they're heels what are they arguing about punch some motherfucker It's just this wishy-washy.
We used to be friends.
Well, they're beating up your partners.
So then Dino leveled the Buckaroos and Jack did a backflip onto all of them without Kenny doing anything, which is probably the safest thing they could do with Kenny.
And that was that.
Did you enjoy Blue Sky versus Jamie Hayter?
You know, I just couldn't
bring myself to.
I was so excited for the match that I had to leave the room and do something else for a while.
Yes.
Actually,
that makes it sound perverted.
What I meant was, I didn't give a shit and I didn't watch it.
You went out of the room to ignore it.
That's right.
But you came back for the six-man tag team title match, right?
I believe so.
Drillistico, Rush, and Rigor Mortis
with Sammy Guevara in their corner, because now Sam, one of the pillars,
Sammy Guevara.
Oh, I wish Ernie Ladd was still alive.
Sammy Guevara, you dumbed yourself right out of position.
He has worked himself all the way into where he is a member of a multiple-person mid-card group and Ring of Honor.
And they challenged.
He's the Ring of Honor Ricochet.
Yes.
And even more annoying, apparently.
Because at least Ricochet gets on the main show.
And they're the group of lost fuckers and goobers.
And they challenged the six-man tag team champions, poor Powerhouse Hobbs, Shapupi, and Samoa Joe.
Yes, that's right.
The guy that is wrestling for the world heavyweight title of this company on pay-per-view this weekend came out with a meaningless belt with prelim partners against interchangeable masked guys
in a title that nobody cares about.
And he is also
on the pay-per-view wrestling a babyface champion, but is the babyface here in this match against a bunch of heels.
And Adam Page, the champion, is on color to watch this mess.
So after about 10 minutes, Joe choked out Dralistico.
And then
the jobber preliminary heels heels attack the baby faces.
Samoa Joe
and Hobbes, much less shapoopy.
He's just there.
But these guys couldn't whip Joe and Hobbs together.
And they're kicking the, the Joe is challenging for the world title, but they got to tell a story.
So
while the heels, these mid-card heels are kicking the shit out of Joe, Rush leans out and for no reason spits at Adam Page.
And Paige said, well, okay then.
And he gets up and he takes his jacket off and
he had the belt, the world title belt in his hand, but he had to put the belt down to take the jacket off.
But then before he goes to the ring, he picks the belt back up and then he takes it in the ring and he puts it down.
So
he put it on the apron for no reason.
He carried it to the ring for no reason because if he rolls into the ring to beat up the heels, he's got a goddamn weapon in his hand.
But he put the weapon down before he started the fight.
Then he beat up the heels and then Joe picks up the belt
and hands it firmly to Paige like Paige did to him, which started this whole thing a week ago.
And they've hated each other ever since.
What the fuck?
And again, there are fans that'll swear that Adam Page is a good promo, that he's the face of the company, he's the future of the company.
The promos and this feud with Samoa Joe haven't made much sense.
Unfortunately, until you brought it up, I forgot we had a pay-per-view this weekend that we have to watch.
So we'll talk about that afterwards.
But
not a great build.
This show sucks.
I'm sorry if I have no enthusiasm.
And if you're listening and you're like, Brian's not adding much, this show sucks.
It's hard to watch.
Well, it was over.
At that point, dynamite was, but collision wasn't because
since they've got a pay-per-view on Saturday, they did their collision from 10 to 11.
So the show that nobody watches on Saturday gets what one would think would be its optimum lead-in on Wednesday.
And at 10 o'clock on Wednesday night, when collision started, and they had a chance for somebody to watch this fucking thing,
They led
with Danny Garcia and Wheeler Useless at the top of the hour when they already have ratings dropping like turds in a toilet because of the new methodology and their general product.
And they started the show with those two against Kyle O'Reilly and Pockets.
Chaos in kindergarten.
And
as much as I'm a fan of Kyle O'Reilly, he's never been the most cosmetically pleasing when it comes to athletic bodies.
And he's the biggest one of the bunch of these.
Wheeler is just a schlub.
Garcia has had the same physique and tone and everything about him he's had for
since they started shoving him down our throats, and there's pockets.
This is the way you start
at the top of the hour in prime time.
And 20 minutes later,
the match was over.
And here came Dick the Boozer and the rest of the horsemen.
And they beat up the baby faces
until here came Roderick Strong and EG
and the Heels beat them up.
And then Moxley gets in the ring with the microphone, but he never has a chance to say anything because Darby's music plays.
Remember when he was bounced off the goddamn walls of the holding cell at the visitation room at the jail?
Now he comes out staggering and drops to his knees on the stage.
And he's got his,
his face is still painted partially.
I guess he walks around
ghost goddamn hooters like that or Walgreens or whatever.
And he's still bleeding.
However long ago that was in the day, he has not stopped to say, you know, maybe I could just check my cut and wipe the blood off my face.
And he's crawling down the ramp to get at Moxley because, you know, they got the big I quit match coming up.
And he's, I'm never going to quit.
And then
Pac comes down and kicks him.
And he keeps crawling.
And then Garcia and Useless, they start kicking the shit out of him.
And then they stop and he does more crawling.
And he's almost to the ring now.
And then Marina Schaefer comes around and she kicks him.
And he starts reaching up on the apron.
Okay, here's the thing.
Why did all of them stop kicking him if he wouldn't stop moving?
They kick him two or three times and oh, he's still crawling.
Well, shit, he's away from me now.
Guess the next person will have to get why didn't they just all just keep kicking him?
But then he crawls over the apron
and into
the ring,
and suddenly all the baby faces that got beat up earlier are all fine at the same time, and they jump all the heels and they all fight off just right away.
And then Darby's on his knees in front of Moxley,
and Darby, out of his hoodie, takes the AEW flag that he took to the top of Mount Everest that means so much to him.
And he
spread the flag out and he took the microphone from Moxley and he said, it's never too late to say I quit.
And then he looked up on his, he's on his knees and he looked up at Moxley and he put his hands behind his back and he dared Moxley to hit him.
Yes, I know it is the stupidest thing you've ever seen in your life, but even if it was somehow apropos,
the girls just both did it two hours ago.
These are the goddamn stupidest fighters I've ever seen.
How do they ever win when they get in front of a motherfucker and on their knees and put their hands behind her back and say, hit me?
Go ahead, hit me.
What the fuck is the matter with these people?
And
Moxley picks him up and gives him the DDT on the flag and walks off and leaves him.
One of the first things that I ever learned in the wrestling business was:
don't let your baby face look stupid.
This baby face is a moron.
He deserves whatever he gets.
He comes out and he doesn't even try to fight the fucking guy.
He says, here,
beat me up some more.
You fucking idiot.
The idea of being in the fight is not only to win the fight, but to let the other guy do as little damage as possible.
They make every babyface that they have in this company look like a complete imbecile.
And most of the time, it's the babyfaces doing it to themselves because they think this is somehow
part of the indie movie they're making.
Am I exaggerating this?
No.
And again, we're talking about the same culprits from earlier, Moxley and Darby, who were the two biggest examples of this.
Darby gets away with it a lot because he's a quirky character, but his whole gimmick is based around,
you could do anything to me.
You can't hurt me enough to stop me.
Which makes you wonder why no one tried to break any of his bones.
Well, that's the thing is at some point there has to be a line you draw where now I'm going to try to stop you from hurting me, but you can't hurt me, but I'm going to try to stop you.
You can't just be a fucking idiot.
I know he's a hero to people who
lived in their cars because it gave them motivation.
But other normal people look at that and say, you're a fucking stupid motherfucker, aren't you?
He actually said that in an interview.
Somebody sent me the clip of it.
He said, well,
I lived in my car for motivation.
You got a lot of people, they just be in their car scrolling on their phone.
If you've got a phone you can scroll on, but you're living in your car, you have misallocated your fucking funds, pal, for one thing.
But
they just did.
That's even if this was a thing that you would want your baby face to do, here, heel,
that has done everything to be possible to do to another motherfucker.
Now that you're in front of me, just here, just take another free shot.
Even if that was a thing to do, the girls just did it in the same fucking show.
So, how did that come up?
Is there an epidemic of, I sacrificed myself?
Would you like to move on?
Yeah, I hope the I quit match this weekend really is the end.
I hope someone quits because I'm going to quit.
I hope they both quit.
I mean, turn in their resignations notarized because this is ridiculous.
What did Darby say?
It's never too late to say I quit
to the guy that he then says, Okay, I'm going to do nothing physical to you whatsoever.
Kick me in the fucking teeth if you want to.
I'm right here.
But you can say I quit anytime you want.
What does he think Moxley's going to do?
Hurt his fucking foot on Darby's ass?
All right.
Then
FTR,
the ghost of the greatest tag team in the world, the shadows of their former selves who have been reduced to meaningless, mid-card.
mediocre oakerty ochrety mediocrity
whatever the case
They're in the ring with Stokely and Megan Brain.
And now we figured out Megan Brain can't work and she can't talk either.
That's why she looks like that and she's in that company.
Boy, Howdy, she was the biggest person in the ring, counting the manager and both the male tag team.
And she sounds like Sable trying to do a promo.
I swear to God.
I don't know if she wrote this one herself, like Statlander, if somebody wrote it it for her, but she delivered it like she was speaking a foreign language for the first time
with all the feeling of a coma patient.
And then
there's the manager standing next to her, and they let her lead off and twist in the wind with this promo.
And they were talking about Willow and Spitball and Knight.
And then Stokely took over a little bit.
And then Dax.
And Dax,
he's lost to people so bad.
Now they get to him.
Every time Dax starts talking, the fans start hooting at him,
not because they're even doing the Dominic Mysterio thing now, but because they legitimately don't want to hear what he has to say.
And these guys were the most over team in the company a couple of years ago and the best performers.
And they were hot when the music would hit.
The people would pop.
It's FTR.
And they have neutered them
like goddamn Bob Barker's fucking bulldog.
And now the people, and he's made such a heel of himself giving the rah-rah for the company and being whiny about it when people point out that, yeah, the show sucks.
It's not your fault, dude.
It's not their fault.
The show sucks.
The show has drugged them down.
But when you argue with people that are saying the show sucks,
then they're just, they don't want to hear him.
They don't care.
They don't care about this issue, the fans.
Here comes Willow and Knight.
Hong Kong Fuye and Harley Cameron
now is with Willow.
and they're on the screen and acting goofy and making faces and doing bad comedy.
And then they say, well, we're just going to go to the ring.
And then within two seconds,
they're in the ring.
They appear behind Megan and they drop her.
And then
FTR have to turn around and stand there and stare and watch Kevin Knight and Steamboat's daughter climb to the top rope and double
them.
Stokely bailed out, so the four baby faces beat up the three heels.
And then they started the match between Megan Brain and fucking Harley.
And I said, oh no, oh fucking no.
There was 23 minutes left on the air.
I'd seen enough.
I don't know what else happened in the program.
I could give a shit.
And
there was FTR
fucking around with
a giant green girl and children.
That's what they wanted.
Well, they didn't want it, but
I have to think
no matter what happened in the other place,
they would have been better off and more serious, more seriously presented.
It would almost have to be.
And by this point,
Jesus Christ,
is there any way they could call Triple H up and see if the goddamn lawn needs mowed?
Or maybe they just want to just get this money and just say, fuck it and look at the deer in Asheville.
And I couldn't blame them for that.
If they're ready to be done with the wrestling business, they're fine where they're at.
They're going to to get paid and they don't have to mean anything if they want to be in it past this contract
they're almost worthless
and the fans don't want to hear dax they got to keep dax off the microphone it doesn't help in any way i don't know they want to hear megan
i don't know they want to hear cash they wanted to hear they wanted to hear megan more than dax they didn't boo her until she shut up and then she started fighting with the hecklers that's what happened with dax
he started fighting with the hecklers
he's letting them get to him it throws him off and he can tell and they're doing it more and it's just feeding on itself because they you can tell he gets gets defensive
yeah
well that was aew collision and it certainly was jim in ratings news we have no ratings
Well, good.
Now, wait a minute.
Is that an official statement, meaning nobody watched it or we haven't got the ratings in yet?
That's a state.
That's a very funny question.
Now we don't have any ratings in.
We don't have any overall numbers or quarter hours or any guarantees that anyone watched it.
Now that you say that.
Well, but we'll have that on the next program because we're out of program here, aren't we?
Oh, yeah.
So tune in for the next program for the strange ratings.
But until then, folks, thank you again for buying my book.
Buy the last few copies and maybe I'll have them signed by Christmas.
And we'll be back on Brian's show, the drive-thru, in a few days.
And until then, besides the love, the peace, and the soul, we wish you to thank you.
Bye, skew.
And bye-bye, everybody.