Episode 368

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Hello again, friends.

And you are our friends, and welcome back to another edition of Jim Cornett's Drive-Thrue.

Right here on another fine professional day, we're going to have a professional show.

No laughter, just a serious look at professional wrestling.

I'm your host, the great Brian Last, and here he is, a man.

who has been seriously looking at professional wrestling for a very long time, Mr.

Jim Cornet.

And I'm serious about it, too.

And I'll tell you one thing right now: there'll be no laughter.

There'll be no merriment, no frivolity.

Everybody, it's winter is coming.

You got to take the heaters out of your cars.

We want no joking around, no kidding around.

This is going to be a professional environment.

Who are the professionals that are coming in to do this thing now?

How long do we have to be here before they show up?

Are they late?

Let me get your professional opinion.

What do you prefer?

The usual one?

That sound, or what I just did here?

Well, honestly, that has a little bit more of an evangelical vibe, Brian Lass.

And I'll tell you this, that if I was going to stand up at the pulpit and I was going to preach to the assembled throng, I would want an organ

of that kind behind me as I ask the people to lay their hands on their mobile devices and give us 10% of your income.

All right, let me turn off this one because this one will make noise throughout the whole thing.

Yeah, it's already making some noise.

Hey.

Well,

yeah, since your professional program.

Professionalism continues here.

Would you like my professional opinion of your professional program?

Maybe after the time limit runs out, but right now we have a lot of show to do and a lot of things to talk about.

You're saying there's still a chance that this could turn out good.

There's still much chance.

We haven't gone so far deep into it that there's no turning back or upward.

That's That's right.

And we're only a few minutes in.

So

upward is the only way we could really go at this point.

Well, speaking of upward, when things go up in the air, generally what goes up must come down, right?

That's the way that

it all bounces.

Yeah.

Gravity.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Did you hear the big news in Louisville, Kentucky this week?

Did you hear about this, read about this?

I did.

And unfortunately, when any of these things happen, I always wonder, was Jim near it or was Jim involved in it?

No, no, I have no culpability whatsoever, nor any

nearness to this thing.

It was a ways down the road from me.

It's in the same town.

But a food coloring factory

exploded.

And

let me say that, actually, if you heard the news headline, explosion at the food coloring factory, that that underplays it.

This fucking play, the food coloring factory blew the fuck up.

Just boom and then down all over the neighborhood.

Pieces of food coloring factory

were all over.

They heard the

blast and felt the shock waves were a mile in every direction.

And people have blown out windows.

And not besides the stuff

in various degrees of

wholeness laying around their yards and on top of their houses and cars and things.

They blew their windows out.

It's blown.

This woman,

Her light fixtures came off the ceilings.

It popped screws out of the drywall.

I mean,

what the a food color?

I didn't even know it was there because honestly, I've lived here much of my life, but I've never been in the market for bulk food coloring.

So I never had to go straight to the factory.

The great Muda is fucked.

Well,

coincidentally,

Apparently, the food coloring industry

is based all out of Switzerland.

They got the chocolate and the food coloring because this, it's a plant.

It's been here for some time in Louisville, Kentucky, but the corporate office was slow to comment on this matter of their fucking plant blowing up.

Two people got killed, let them sent to the hospital,

but their parent companies in Switzerland.

Why would you make

be a food coloring company in Switzerland and say, I'm going to make this shit in Louisville, Kentucky?

Is it that way or is it the other way around?

It's an American company that does the majority of their business in Switzerland.

No, this is a this is not an American company because the name of it, no newscaster in this market has pronounced it the same way twice.

Juvonin,

you've given in.

I don't know what the fuck, I don't know what they're speaking over there, but nevertheless, so this play blew up, did all kinds of damage and you know, chaos going on.

It said fatalities,

and apparently

one of the um

well current employees actually ex-employees there's no place to go to work

but she was interviewed and had footage on her phone of it she said she had lodged complaints and gone to management and said the shit was breaking down and there was footage on her phone of just some kind of

steam coming out of one of the fucking big boilers in this place.

And

the neighbors said that they had had an issue last year with their houses and cars and fences being covered in dripping food coloring.

It is like nobody did anything.

And this is the whole fucking thing.

What are they using in the food coloring that can blow a goddamn factory all over the neighborhood?

And why are we ingesting it?

It's the commies.

Well, that's, you know what?

We did the fucking or who did who did the beepers did we do no israel did israel did the beepers the greatest contagious hit of all time well we well we're we're we're on their side so we we they did the beepers and now the commies are doing the food coloring

was it red was it red

well what i saw video of it looked like when it was dripping from the from last year it was like orange food coloring all over every fucking body or every everybody's shit everyone was the orange from the explosion.

It just was dripping on this woman's fence and it just looked like orange shit dripping from the

like it landed and began

running.

But anyway, so as soon as any of these things happen, my first two thoughts are, is Jim okay?

Is Travis Heckle okay?

And every time it's anything, you're both like, yeah, we're okay.

And then you laugh about it.

Well, I mean, and again, people were injured.

It's not, but it's just so preposterous, this whole situation that

right under anybody's nose,

they've got this factory that could blow up at any time.

And they're obviously,

there's an issue.

The mayor is vowing to get, he says

they have scheduled to speak to these corporate people and they're going to be very transparent.

and hopes that the corporate people will as well.

So they're going to get to the bottom of this.

So what they were cooking up there in the goddamn Muda Mist section.

You know, Gary Hart warned us,

oh, you know,

when you blow the black, brother, the shit's on.

And the weather here is frightful.

I just want you to know also, you have a problem with the weather.

You're so dry now, they're having wildfires in New Jersey.

Is this correct?

There are now wildfires on both sides of the country.

It's pretty frightening.

Well, in the middle, it's getting soggy.

And see, here's the formula you need to go by.

Remember, I told you about this this summer and now now I've proved it again.

You can control the weather.

Whatever is most inconvenient for you, if you are cursed such as I am, because remember I said this summer at the beginning of the June, beginning of the June.

I love to sing about the moon and the Juna and the Springer.

At the beginning of June, I planted 15 trees in my front yard and It didn't rain again for three and a half weeks.

I had to be out there with a fucking hose watering these things so they wouldn't die.

And then

it would alternate between torrential downpours and damaging winds and thunderstorms.

It would knock the big trees down

and periods of two and three weeks of drought where not a

sweat off a frog's balls wouldn't drop from the sky.

And so then I remember I updated you a couple weeks ago that my tree guy had smartened me up, but I didn't know

that if you plant a tree, if you plant trees, a tree, multiple trees, whatever,

in the late fall, early winter like this, you get them in the ground, you water them good, and then it's wintertime, and you don't need to water them again.

Because I said I'd put more trees in, but I couldn't water them all, so we ought to do it now, blah, blah, blah.

So I'll have you know, the brine, that it wasn't even two weeks ago, I put 15 new trees in the backyard.

And it hadn't stopped fucking raining.

It rained two inches yesterday to go along with the inch and a half the day before, or was it the other way around?

But nevertheless, it's goddamn, it's just fucking raining all over the place.

When the trees don't need the rain, the rain comes.

That sounds like a Credence Clearwater Revival song.

All right.

Well, until Saul Zanzan.

So

Saul Zanz

takes the show away from us.

I guess we will continue on.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, trademark.

Saul ants.

Did you see that the good guys won one?

I don't know which, I don't know who you're talking about or what they won.

The good guys won what The Onion bought the InfoWars website at bankruptcy court with contributions or help from or partnership from or whatever the Sandy Hook families.

And they are putting a gun safety site on InfoWars as

Alex Jones is blubbering and bankrupt.

And they own all the old content, right?

They own everything.

He's.

It's not just the website I'm saying.

It's the content that he created over 20 years or whatever.

Well, much of that stuff should have never seen the light of day the first time around, but they can feel free to

use it in debunking him and making mockery of him and whatever the fuck, you know, I suppose.

But also just the irony.

And not even in an Atlantis Morissette way, but in an American Heritage Dictionary way, the irony of the, because I'm even

remotely removed from normal people's politics or whatever, you got to be a special championship level

flaming asshole to lie about children that got murdered

just because some wacky portion of your audience doesn't want to believe it happened.

And they took him to court and he, if he gets a job mowing lawns from that, he owes them like a billion dollars

because

reasonable jurors in a court said, this fucking slime ball.

And he'll be paying him for the rest of his life.

And there was an article the other day on,

well, I clicked on it because it was on Twitter, so I can't remember what the origination was, but it was a valid place.

It didn't just have a tagline that said news.

The rise of this AM talk radio horseshit

led directly to the rise of the belief in all these things that these people believe in.

Whether it be space aliens or

whatever.

See, one of the things that,

you know, because I know people that were listening to Alex Jones, like, geez, at this point, maybe 15 years ago.

And And I had watched it a few times and listened to him a few times

because the way they saw it at first was, this guy's so entertaining.

You got to watch him just screaming about all this stuff.

And then slowly they started to not realize what I realized, which was he's a worker.

He's working.

Like he understands who his audience is.

And now

everything is a work.

And he has to further these things because this is how he makes his money.

The sponsor,

or at least the first one that I remember on the show I heard, again, years ago, was for seeds.

You know, the world is coming to an end.

You need seeds to plant to the ground and grow your own new nutrient.

And the world is still here.

And whoever has to do with that.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, ladies and gentlemen, unlike our

oftentimes sponsor, seed that promotes digestive health.

Oh, yeah, no, it was like, you know, a brand of seeds.

I don't even know what

yeah, it was like, plant this shit because you're going to need to grow your own garden like it wouldn't be radioactive anyway earth's real promise or whatever the fuck it was i don't know but that was the whole gimmick was preaching this apocalyptic view of things and just without having any knowledge of really any deep knowledge beyond the knowledge that anyone who reads the newspaper or watches anything on the right or the left would have just jumping on crazy shit and riding it because it was content.

And this was was his job.

He was a worker, like a carnival barker, like a corrupt evangelist.

Well, where do you work?

Like a professional wrestler.

It was all work and it got so far away.

As one of those things

in my former past, I must, I'm sorry, but where do you cross the line between

giving people entertainment for $5, which is kind of like shooting a movie and just telling them it's a documentary, and lying about murdered children.

Right.

See, that's where it completely crosses the line.

And then he doubled down and tripled down and he didn't get away from it.

And,

you know, he started living the gimmick.

And it got him in the end.

And it's good that it did.

It got him in the end.

In the end, and he's going to get it from both ends.

A spit roast of Alex Jones

is happening right now.

And so that was a good thing.

And

the onion

is probably going to

be, what, the most accurate news site here in the next several months if

everybody else gets cracked down on for telling the truth.

Anyway, it's nice to see that somebody pays penalties for lying and bullshitting people about stuff that does damage.

But you know what doesn't do any damage, Brian Last?

No, I do not know what that is.

It doesn't do any damage to purchase a nice Christmas present for the wrestling fan in your life, social circle, business environment, or neighborhood.

If you see somebody walking down the street with a wrestling shirt on, get them something from JimCornet.com for Christmas.

And you'll never get rid of them.

And right now,

I'll have you know that I mentioned this on the previous program, The Experience, but I will let the people in.

We've been having these November sales, these weekly sales, where every week from Friday to Friday, another item goes on sale for a deep discount as part of Hotchkiss Featherbottom's revolutionary November to remember concept, right?

So

I'm giving you a heads up that we've got a special super duper,

not just a week, but 10-day sale for the final one.

The Midnight Express action figure four-pack collectible box set with book and certificate and autograph photo is going to be on sale at jimcornet.com.

$40

off

from Friday, November 22nd at noon all the way until Tuesday, December 3rd.

So we hit Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Titty Tuesday.

I just threw that one in there because I thought that it might incite the people to go to the website, but there are no titties

right now at jimcornet.com.

But hurry,

hurry for Christmas also, folks, because I'm still, we have caught up.

I've signed everything that's been ordered through November 1st, which is like two weeks ago as we sit here.

And over the coming three or four days, I'm going to have that knocked down to November 7th.

So we're running a couple weeks behind.

If you get this in on this big end of the month sale, then we're trying desperately to get everything out for you before Christmas.

And that's all I got to say about that.

JimCornet.com.

All right, JimCornet.com.

Well,

Raw was this week, and I know.

What about Titty Tuesday?

Were you wanting to get involved in that until I?

Well, unfortunately, we have to go back to Morose Monday because you watched Raw this week, and because of that, we have to talk about Raw this week.

But there were a few segments that went viral, one specifically reminiscent of the early days of AEW,

and one

just the continuation of this weird kidnapping swerve, not swerve strickland, a classic swerve, I guess.

WWE Raw this past week.

They swerve when they write.

Yeah, they swerve when they write the show.

Just another manic Monday.

It was very, it was depressing.

The people there were happy, but I was on my couch and I was like, oh, boy, howdy.

Raw on November 11th from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Just another

garden spot of America hosting Monday Night Raw.

And they're making money hand over fist.

And I told you right before we went on the air, I said, we're not going to spend a lot of time on this because except for the stuff to make fun of, it's not like

this wasn't like an unprofessional show.

It looks great.

Everybody's a star.

The fans, again, is like they get cue sheets.

They see

minimal excitement and they're chanting.

And

what are they putting in the goddamn soft drinks?

Do they have some type of additive,

possibly of Ico Pro that's left over from the warehouse?

They're shooting it in the goddamn caramel and the Coca-Cola mixes in these buildings because these people

are just going out of their minds watching some people speak to each other.

Am I overstating this?

Am I being hyperbolic?

You're not because

if you haven't noticed, I've been somewhat dismissive the last several weeks of these Raw reviews because I don't like the show.

It's not, I appreciate how successful they are, and I want to see the big things play out, but there's a whole lot of nothing I have to sit through on Raw.

And even some of the talking segments ain't all that.

It's like, you know,

if when you were a kid.

In the territory days, the reason you liked wrestling and you look, you want to be a wrestler, you wanted to just watch this because they're, oh, these are like superheroes.

These are like, you know, badasses.

And these are, well, this is wild shit.

And now it's like, if you want to be an archaeologist,

that's more of the temperament where you're taking one of those boxes with the screen on the bottom and you're taking an hour to sift through some cow shit from 700 AD.

to find out if there's a turd in the punch bowl or whatever.

That's the patience that you've got to display.

But real briefly, briefly,

before we get to the,

I don't know what to call it, the opening promo with Gunther and Damien Priest.

It's

Gunther walks out and says, I'm still the world heavyweight champion.

And who's my next challenge up?

Damien Priest.

And they play priest.

That's all he said.

And they play priest music.

And he comes to Ring and says, if you got to say something about me, say it to my face.

So for the next 10 minutes or so, that's what they did they talked to each other and attempted in a

somewhat half-hearted fashion to provoke each other

but i mean remember when you know on a wrestling show brian an argument could escalate from zero to 60 in about 45 seconds

it usually did and then you'd want to see it play out as soon as you could

you know at the arena

but it i understand they got a two-hour show here, and it used to be three, but holy mackerel.

Anyway,

finally, it ended up with,

hey, Gunther, you want to take a swing at me?

Take it.

And here came Ludwig Kaiser, and

he was the most aggressive fucker in this thing because

he was promoing Damian Priest for doubting the Ring General.

And you need to get out of the ring right now and save yourself.

And he could have promo on him.

And Gunther stopped him and started telling him off.

And

like, don't do this.

And then

Kaiser said, I'm not going to let this street trash talk to you like that.

And Priest knocked Kaiser out.

And then Gunther and Priest just had a fucking face off.

And Gunther got out of the ring and gathered Kaiser up and they left.

What kind of friend if

some guy and you or have some guy and you, is that proper

grammar?

If you and some.

Sounds like a website.

Sounds like a dating website.

If some guy and you,

if you and another gentleman are having an argument,

not a violent one, but a disagreement on the street, and a friend of yours comes up and says, I'm not going to let this fat fuck talk to you like that.

And the guy dicks your friend.

Are you well, shit?

And now they're illustrating somehow there's some tension between Gunther and Kaiser because Gunther is more honorable or he doesn't want Kaiser to be a loudmouth or I don't know what's going on here.

Yeah, what's going to happen?

Is Kaiser turning babyface?

Is it going to be that they hope the fans eventually want him?

They get Gunther and just hit him one time?

Well,

because then you have a babyface named Kaiser Wilhelm or whatever his name is.

Well, we had a baby face in Texas named Fritz von Erich.

So these things can work.

But I mean, not if they continue to portray Kaiser after they were giving him some oomph.

And now he just, he gets knocked out with one shot, no rebuttal, and his friend doesn't even take up for him.

But anyway, I noticed that.

And then

came

the match where

Kofi Kingston was wrestling Butch.

Who don't want to be called Butch anymore?

It's too late now.

That's all we can think of.

We see that moop face, Pete Dunn.

What is.

he could play a caveman in a movie with no makeup?

He's got an odd featured fucking face, doesn't he?

I don't know what's going on.

With the contours of his face, much less the shadow of his smile.

An odd featured face.

And

it doesn't match his body, which is short and squat, but his face is long.

And there's potentially more room between his chin and his fucking top of his head than there ought to be to make it,

you know, proportioned and correct.

I don't know.

I don't know.

He's a fucking midget caveman with a little Dickensian

impish twist.

I don't know what's going on with this fucking guy.

I mean, that's the other thing.

I know that they make it that he hates Butch.

Butch was the better character than the caveman character.

Well, we hated the name Butch, but he, you know, he looked, I don't, I hated the way he was.

He looked like some little kid you would see on the streets of London that's like selling newspapers or throwing rocks or doing something bad, you know?

Or being

flipped a crown to go buy the biggest Christmas goose in the window.

God, this is a fairly smart fucking show, isn't it?

For the wrestling genre at least.

So, nevertheless, they're having this match.

And nobody really cares about the and Kofi's having the problems with Woods, who's getting an attitude and has been for a long time.

Talk about a slow-cooking fucking goose.

But then finally they do something where Butch gets on top of Kofi and in

the manner of a ground and pound,

he starts pounding the shit out of the mat next to Kofi's head in plain sight.

The worst I've ever seen, worse than that,

at least the...

Well, yeah, but there were 12 guys in the ring.

At that time, I'm not excusing doing it, but it was harder to see because there was so much more going on because there were 12 guys fighting all over the fucking place.

But this was a single match.

There wasn't anything else to shoot.

Because I saw somebody, somebody on Twitter, so what's the cameraman's fault?

What do you want Pete to do?

Give Kofi a concussion?

No, just learn to fucking work.

Was this guy supposed to be this great worker from the British Isles or whatever the fuck?

Who's the cameraman's fault?

He should have,

some of these should have shot the ceiling.

Yeah, what the fuck?

Well, no, some of these marks, and I do not use that term with endearment, because they are, the modern marks think that it's done with camera angles.

And that, you know, you've got to expect at the live show, you're going to be able to see through it because they don't hide it with the camera angle.

You fucking morons.

We've had live shows for 100 fucking years.

Nobody did this shit.

Point being,

he he was pounding the shit out of the mat.

And what

he was going for,

and I don't know what was going through his mind when he was doing it, but what he was going for was he was trying to look like he was bringing his elbow

down at the base of,

who's he, what's he, Kofi's neck.

And it would look like

And I'm using the air finger quotation marks, but it would look like that he was really hammering the elbow into the back of the guy's neck, and he's really stopping himself by punching the mat.

But

he tried to, he did it like a dozen times, just boom, boom, boom, boom.

And the longer he did it,

the worse it looked, and the less care he was taking with it.

So by the last couple, he was just punching the mat straight down.

And we just had a talk, Brian, on

whatever show we did last about guys throwing a punch, last couple of shows,

instead of punching a guy six times in the face while you're backing him up to the ropes to shoot him off, and he can run so you can do a big move, and you're talking to him while you're punching him, and he's listening to you instead of selling him.

That's just cocka.

And the same thing applies here.

If you want to, you can't,

if you can do something like this and work it proper where it doesn't look see-through, then bless you.

But instead of doing it

a dozen times in a row, draw back, follow through, and land it, boom, and let the guy register, draw back, follow through and land it, boom, let the guy register.

Dick Murdoch was a master at that.

Every part of him was involved in something.

If he was going to punch you in the face, if he grabbed your hair with his left hand and bent your head back so your face was exposed.

And meantime, he's with his right hand drawing back behind him and making a fist so the people can see it.

And he's cocking his right leg behind him so that it, when he leans back, you can tell he's really winding up for this thing.

And when he would throw it, boom, with one snap, right a millimeter in front of your fucking head.

And if you sold it, boom,

and you would rock and you would go down

instead of this phony-looking bullshit that's just people are just scoffing at or overlooking because you're nobody anyway.

So, why do they not care?

But which is the better option?

Make people remember one thing you did for positive because it looks so good,

or make people remember the dozen things you did that were so fucking phony.

But that was the viral part of the program,

And it certainly gave me a little bit of the rock and pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu.

So he could do all the moves, you know, he can go in there and have a really good match with, who was it, Tyler Bate, I think, way back we saw those matches.

And he could do all the moves and keep up with all the modern guys.

But when someone can't do something like that, is that bad training?

Is that just not caring enough about

something that should be an important part of

a wrestler's repertoire, the punch?

Well, not even a punch, punch, but just your work to not be so see-through.

It's not bad training because I'm pretty sure in wrestling school, they never covered a spot.

Okay, get the guy down on his fucking belly face down and just start

hammering him like you're hammering him with elbows to the base of his fucking spine over and over.

They probably never got to that one in wrestling school.

This was something that he had come up with in his mind.

He's trying to be creative, not saying he should be

cast off into the sun on a rocket ship.

But goddamn it, it was embarrassing if you care about the business.

But in his mind, he was thinking, it will look like that I'm doing this if I do this.

And it didn't remotely.

But you ought to be able to see or tell

if you have that much experience, if you've been in the ring that long.

You ought to be able to cut something like that.

I mean,

when you're being given a big bump and it looks like shit and somebody's flinging you, sometimes when you're upside down in the air or whatever, like that, you can't really tell how it looks.

But if you're delivering blows to someone, you should be able to tell how it fucking looks, is what I'm saying.

And somebody needs to maybe mention to him, and I bet you they did.

It take that one out and let's, you know, workshop it in practice or whatever, but take it out off of television.

And see, that's another thing.

Don't work for the cameras, work for the arena.

Well, yeah, we'll work for both.

See, that's the thing.

If you're working for the arena, the cameras will pick it up.

And you have to, but you know at the same time that the cameras are closer than most of the people in the arena.

And see, that's the thing on house shows.

Yeah, don't, you know, don't split the hair right down

to the infinitive and take a chance on giving a guy a black eye because

it needs to look so good, right?

On the house shows,

these guys are used to working in big buildings in front of a lot of people now, and you can't tell at some distance away.

But on television, you need to tighten it up.

It's not about the camera angles.

That's what the previous

production staff under Bucky Beaver was, remember the camera would cut with every move when it was supposedly landing?

Either that or it would zoom in and out.

Yes, because that was supposed to either make it look more frantic or you wouldn't be able to tell if they missed.

And

I know some guys, when they started doing that in the early days, they were insulted if they did it in their matches, like motherfucker, like my shit don't look good.

You got to cut the camera, let the people see what I'm fucking doing.

There was some resentment in some quarters.

But

no, the cameramen are not going to cover shit that whiffs and misses

with their camera angles because this is a live-action,

one-take theater and around production, and they can't.

They plan their camera angles for the entrances and the looks over the shoulders and the guy comes up behind the other guy, that type of thing.

But not every goddamn step of the fucking match, it would be impossible.

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So, nevertheless, would you like to go now to where

apparently you're right, Brian Last?

You are correct, sir.

You have called something that is unfolding in front of our eyes, and it's being denied.

That's why we know it's going to happen.

You know what I'm talking about?

Something to do with the Panthers?

No, we're not talking about that on the air.

Oh.

Bronson Reed and Seth Franklin Rollins being added to the War Games, number five and number five.

You called this before we saw this program the other day, didn't you?

Or did you?

I said something, but I don't want to take credit for it.

Well, I don't know.

I can't keep track of the times.

All these days are but a blur, ticking away the moments that make up a dull day, frittering and wasting the hours in an offhand way.

But at nine o'clock, Panties, the witching hour, Panty, what do you do to that?

Brunson Reed came out to the ring and did a promo

about Seth.

And if Seth, if you want your revenge, I'm here in the ring right now.

I mean, this,

my God, again, it's the same pattern.

It's the same thing.

Once an hour, somebody comes out the ring, mentions somebody's name, or calls them out.

They instantly appear.

And here we go.

And the buildings are packed, and these people are making a fortune.

They're printing money,

printing and minting.

And here comes Seth, and he hits the ring, and they have a fight, and they're going to do the desk thing.

But Seth dives on Reed before Reed can splash on Seth, and security comes out for a big pull apart.

And Bronson Reed does a dive through the ropes that Seth dodges, and he takes out security like a bowling ball through bowling pins.

And here comes Pierce and we go to the break.

And we come back from the break and Rollins, I want Bronson Reed.

And Adam Pierce is fine.

I'm sick of you people.

Next week,

you can have Bronson Reed.

And he walks off.

And then Sammy comes in.

And he makes the pitch.

He's a very reasonable fellow is Sami Zayn.

Very calm and level-headed and tries to appeal to your better angels.

And he tells Seth why that he should be the fifth guy on their war games team

because of the family bond between Seth and Roman.

Nobody else can do this.

You're our fifth guy.

And Seth says, you're out of your fucking mind.

I'm going to have nothing to do with Roman Reigns or building him back up.

I don't want to discuss this any further.

Good day to you, sir.

So now you you know what's going to happen, right?

Yeah.

Yep.

I know it's going to happen.

And you know what?

Let's talk about it, though.

Under the idea that it's going to happen, and Reed and Rollins will be added to the two sides in war games, and we'll talk about the rest of the show, or you will.

Is it the right move?

If you need five guys, and

you kind of do, I mean, there have been four on four war games, but five on five is really war games.

Are these the right two guys to add to the match, considering the kind of feud they've had?

Well, yes, I think Seth works because of the Roman thing and the

checkered past they've had.

And Reed

looks vaguely Samoan because he's from Australia, with I assume some

island blood of that type over there.

I don't know what all the fucking strains are.

You could stop, but I don't know.

It could be the Andromeda strain.

But

here's the thing.

And yes, there is because it's a hot angle now that they're in this thing where it's a hot angle.

But I don't, I wouldn't have been bothered by four on four because this is the four people, right?

It's like

you're not not even evening up a dinner party by inviting the girl for the odd guy or vice versa.

You're making it an odd number.

There's four members of the original faction and four current members of this faction.

Unless they were going to

introduce a fifth member of the heel group to where the babyfaces had to search for someone outside the

current party,

then I think they could have gone four on four and just kept it more focused and done something with Seth and

Reed

more individually.

I know they've done those, but obviously they're going to do more.

And we've heard like time after time, it must be two or three times now, every few months, they've signed another member of the family.

Like there was Hikuleo, the giant.

There's another one of the Anawai family.

I don't know who.

There's another fatu out there.

And we keep hearing they're signing one after another,

but we don't see them up here.

So we'll see.

Well, but at the same time, you got to be careful.

Is this Heyman's return?

It has to be Heyman's return, right?

He escorts these guys to the cage.

No.

You don't think so?

This is not a.

I don't think it's a big enough deal.

No, and not a multiple person.

Or the rock.

The rock might pop up to come out and pose or be involved, whatever.

But

one at a time there, Cowboy, what happens with Heyman?

That's that's some type of major singles match involving Roman.

I don't know whether it's Royal Rumble, it might even be WrestleMania.

They don't need it right now.

I mean, he's still there behind the scenes.

It's not like he's been exiled, but they don't need him on television because they're still building wherever this is going.

But I don't think he would show back up for a 10-man war games, whatever the case may be.

And

I don't think he'll show back up until somebody does something fairly heinous

to Roman Reigns to begin with.

But that's just me.

Speaking of Heyman,

oh, go ahead.

I was going to say maybe he needs to get on the phone and call Roman Reigns with Mint Mobile.

Well, you know, that's where Heyman's been, actually.

He's on the road right now.

He's undergone a press and publicity tour because the phone plan that he has hooked up to his famous phone is Mint Mobile.

And that's how he's able to afford those suits because he only pays $15 a month for his phone plan.

And to be honest, I wish the phone plan that he'd have had 35 years ago when he hit me with that phone was a little lighter.

But it's not the phone plan.

That's the actual phone.

Well, it wouldn't have hurt to lighten it up the plan a little bit, too.

You don't know what his plan was?

Well,

I know what his plan was to get me the fuck out of WCW.

But nevertheless, folks, if you've got a plan that you would like to execute or a person you'd like to execute with a particular plan, whatever, you're not going to find a better plan.

It's almost a plot over at Mint Mobile.

They have carefully sat in basements and dimly lit rooms with the curtains drawn late at night and concocted these revolutionary and radical ideas on how you don't have to pay a lot for your telephone service.

And you not only get to talk on the phone.

Lord knows the children don't do much of that anymore.

You're going to get to text.

So mommy and daddy can just hand you the phone and say, text all of our friends and stay put in the corner and you'll be happy, kids.

You get to text.

You get the high-speed data.

You can watch all the various

TikToks and flip-flops and monkey flips that are on the internet.

And it's on the nation's largest 5G network.

You know what that means, Brian?

I found out what that means, the 5G network.

You just found out?

What did you find out it means and from who?

I found out it's when you walk up to one of those big towers and you say, gee, that's a big tower.

Their towers are so big, you say gee five times.

You're like, gee, gee, gee,

gee.

You've been hanging out with Hotchkotchi.

Gee, that's a big tower.

You've been hanging out with Hotchkiss again, haven't you?

Well,

he clued me in on it because he used to work for the phone company.

Actually, he was one of the people.

He was one of the people that came and fucking stuck the poles in the ground.

But anyway, so that's what it is.

But these towers are big, folks.

I'm telling you, they tower over everything.

If they're not bolted to the ground properly, they can turn over and take out a swath a half a mile of downtown.

But Mint Mobile is not responsible for that now.

That would be an act of God, so you can't sue them.

So if you want a plan with high-speed data, unlimited talk and text, and the nation's largest 5G network, as long as you don't try to sue them if a tower falls on your head, you can go right now to mintmobile.com slash JCE

and you're going to get three months of premium wireless service for $15 a month.

Formerly, they would have to come and string wires to your home.

And then you'd have the wires running in through the kitchen window or maybe coming down the fireplace chimney.

This isn't the 18th.

And hanging on the wall.

That's not.

No, that's what I'm saying.

This is a wireless network.

So you don't have to worry about no one will come to your home.

No salesman will call.

And they don't have to come and plug you in or wire you up or anything.

You just, you go to mintmobile.com and they can slash JCE,

and they can fix you up right there.

You don't even have to schedule somebody to come over and climb up on your roof.

And I thought I'd never get that guy out of the chimney.

He got stuck halfway down

and it was cold too.

I was ready to start a fire.

Again, let's, let's, I don't know where you're going right here.

He was sicko, but let's get back to mint mobile.

After he'd been there for three or four days, he lost enough weight that we were able to to pull him down with that rope that he had tied around his ankle anyway

once again folks to get the new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan it was right around his ankle right down there his foot almost came off for just 15 a month go to mintmobile.com slash jce that's mintmobile.com slash jce

$45 for three months that's i'm telling you you can't beat it with it's like a sore peter or a busted drum you just can't beat it.

$45 upfront payment required, which is equivalent to $15 a month.

New customers on the first three-month plan only speed slower above 40 GB

on the unlimited plan, but you'll never notice.

Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions may and possibly will apply.

See Mint Mobile for all the details.

All right.

Mint Mobile, friends of ours, they can be friends of yours.

Of course, as always.

Well,

if you are nice to them, they'll be nice to you.

But I don't think we should make any assumptions that the people at Mint Mobile who are fine people are just going to have to automatically like any asshole

who comes up to slash JCE.

Speaking of any asshole, fuck you.

Well, I was talking about me.

Oh, hey, don't talk about yourself like that.

That's not nice.

Well, fuck you.

Hey, that's not nice either.

So, you know what else wasn't nice?

The Miz.

Oh, boy.

So there's been the

Carrion Cross and Company sounds like a goddamn jeweler at this point.

They kidnapped

come to Cross and Company for her on Valentine's Day.

They kidnapped Miz last week.

We're going to dismember him and do the Reservoir Dogs thing on him.

They had just started playing Stuck in the Middle With You by Steeler's Wheel.

They didn't kidnap him.

The Wyatts did.

Or the Wyatts, right?

No, the Wyatts kidnapped him.

That's right.

That's right.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Well, see, he's scared of the Wyatts.

That's when Karrion Cross and Company saw Miz in the back.

He's scared of the Wyatts because he's petrified because they kidnapped him, is what I'm trying to say.

And he's done with this whole thing and he's asking for a leave of absence.

He's going in.

He said, I'm just, apparently he was mentally impaired by this, just traumatized.

And he wants two of us.

Yeah, all the viewers makes a couple million of us.

And he wouldn't tell Cross what happened with the Wyatts and why they let him go.

And he tells Cross, you just need to move on.

So because of that, they have the two fat guys grab the Miz and they're going to take him out into the arena with the

following handheld camera shot where they just drag him straight out through the entranceway and into the arena into the ring.

And somehow, and Miz is begging, no, please, no, please, no.

But somehow just grabbing him and roughly like giving him the

bouncer walk out to the fucking bar door because he's had one too many, they busted his eye open.

His fucking eye, by the time this thing's over with, his eyes juiced down his fucking eyelid, even

which was very close to shit you don't want to be cut open and bleeding did you i couldn't i couldn't even see how they did it i tried to see and did they somebody just thumb him in the eye i'm not sure because i didn't see what had happened when by the time i noticed it he was bleeding all over the place

well yeah i guess you could say that well i mean from you know it it wouldn't have been a great juice job if you cut your forehead but if somebody is fucking to hardweighed your eyelid it was enough blood to concern me like hey motherfucker, so these guys can't look at you sideways, apparently.

I don't know.

But they busted him open, and Cross is screaming, where are the Wyatts?

Where are the Wyatt?

And then the blackout and the piano music.

And it wasn't piano man.

It was just plink, plink, plink.

And the Wyatts all come to the ring and have a face-off

with Cross and his minions.

And the Miz suddenly takes a chair chair and hits what's the big Wyatt Harper?

Yeah, Luke Harper.

Luke Harper.

Wait, is that his name?

Is that his name?

Or is it.

No, I think I was Brody Lee.

That was Luke Harper.

Oh, God.

Well, and I.

How did you say that?

Yeah, what made you?

Well, because they were partners in the, right?

Wyatt 6.

Who is that guy's name?

Rowan.

Eric Rowan.

The guy with the red beard.

Red beard.

And they were partners, right?

Him and Brodie Lee.

So I'm not completely out of my mind.

No, just tiny, tiny, a little bit.

Just a little, just

one toque over the line, Brewer and Shipley.

So anyway,

Miz takes a chair and just clocks him across the back and knocks him goofy.

And

Uncle Howdy laughs about that and they all start fighting.

And while all the rest of them are paired off four on four or whatever it was, Miz is taking a fucking chair to the big guy, just wearing him out.

And I'm, what in the world is happening?

And the fans barely care.

They're just sitting there going, what the fuck is happening?

And the Wyatts are laid out.

And then Cross hugs Miz.

And the heels are walking out of the building.

And as all the Wyatts are laying there, they had their ass handed to them.

Uncle Howdy's still laughing about it.

If I was the rest of these people, I'd I'd have a serious talk with my Uncle Howdy.

If my own Uncle Howdy,

who was Aunt Lola's first husband,

is always laughing when I'm getting the shit kicked out of me, what kind of fucking uncle is he?

At least they put them all together.

Is this the...

Jimmy Boogie Woogie Man Valiant versus Paul Jones's army of 2024?

Yeah, of the WWE roster right now.

that's exactly what this is.

Yeah.

And other.

But we're at that point where the mighty Wilbur has joined the picture.

You know what I mean?

Like it's past its due date, this whole thing.

You know, but that's

so.

That's where we're at now.

Is that, but Paul Ellerig is off selling

the attack that his furniture

selling his house.

He's having a getting out of the business sale.

But he's selling the one move that he was given like a month and a half ago.

Or whatever.

I don't know.

Otherwise, Annette, Seth Franklin reiterated

that he is never going to fucking

team up with Roman Reigns, but he's also blown Solo off because Solo made the pitch.

Join our team and you can get a hold of Roman.

And says, well, next time I'm in the ring with Roman, I'm going to stomp him, but I will never team with you.

I want to be Roman Reigns.

And he walked, so you just know Solo is going to have to do something about that.

And then, otherwise than that, it was also the women's tag team title match that they promoed through the whole show, Jade and Bianca versus Liv and Rochelle Rochelle.

The bell rang with 10 minutes left on the air, and they went to a commercial break in that time.

So they didn't have time to get from Milan to Minsk.

And,

oh my God,

here came Tiffy and the refrigerator, and Tiffy drew the referee, and the refrigerator gave a shitty Samoan drop on the apron.

That was one of those things was...

more devastating in concept.

And then Rochelle Rochelle did the elbow elbow drop and Bianca saved and Naomi tackled Tiffy and Liv stopped Naomi and Jade stopped Liv.

And Bianca hit her finish on Liv 1, 2, 3.

And then the refrigerator beat up all three of the babyfaces.

But thankfully, E.O.

Skye was in the back dressed and

for whatever reason, because the show was over.

So I don't know why she was...

hadn't got the hint she wasn't needed, but she was there luckily and came down and made a horrible comeback.

And all four of the baby faces beat up the refrigerator.

And that was sort of an encapsulation of what the last 10 minutes of the program was like.

I like the fact that she went from Raquel Gonzalez to Raquel Rodriguez to you just calling her Rachel to now she's Rochelle Rochelle.

Well, it's easier for me to remember.

Because they kept changing it so often.

I couldn't remember what it was.

So now I've just,

this way, you can't make any mistakes.

Well, I guess you can't make any mistakes when nothing happens.

That was raw.

They're making a fortune.

They're making a fortune.

And if you believe what we hear from Dave Meltzer, so is Tony Khan.

And let's now go to the wonderful world of Tony Khan and AEW Dynamite.

Oh

boy.

You know, I may set a record here today.

I may be speechless.

I don't know what to say.

I have voluminous notes.

And

part of the reason,

the opposite situation from the WWE in every way,

they're making money hand over fist, and the people are chanting and cheering, and they're going crazy for almost nothing.

Over here, you cannot.

I'm writing this shit down just to be able to explain what happened because it's so convoluted, involving so many people.

It runs together that are doing the same basic things over and over that it's almost impossible to decipher what's going on unless you do take voluminous, copious notes.

And

even then, you don't really understand.

You can convey what happened,

but trying to

you used a word before we went on the air.

The show is fascinating now

because it's in the wrong way, but yeah.

Well, yeah, yeah, it's fascinating to watch this in that they don't, they not only don't have any idea, apparently, what the problem is, but they're doing more of it,

of the problem.

And it's like he's just letting everybody come up with their own shit and they do it independent of the rest of the show

and what may be going on.

And

I mean, you know,

there's multiple vehicular homicide attempts or whatever the fuck in every segment with different people.

How does anything register?

It doesn't.

That's the problem.

They were in Bridgeport, Connecticut, and that will be important later on, ladies and gentlemen.

And Bridgeport,

when I lived there in the late 90s,

up in that area of Connecticut, Bridgeport was not a well-thought-of-neighborhood.

Remember

the opening of Monday Night Raw when they had the look like bombed buildings and the chain-link fences with the dogs barking and the vicious wild dogs on the other side, and all that type of thing on the video of the open of Raw.

Do you remember that?

Of course.

They shot that in Bridgeport without staging anything.

They just went to fucking Bridgeport.

So now they got this big arena.

But the people I see are still afraid to go out at night.

Apparently, either that, this was, was this the surliest bunch of fans?

They were like, my God,

they had come in for shelter from a hurricane or something, and this stuff unfolded in front of them.

What we heard directly from people who went there was that

the crowd were AEW fans who were upset with the product and had no problem just shitting on it or sitting there and being dead.

The atmosphere was dead.

There were a couple matches where they kind of came up a little bit towards the finish,

but we heard it was a dead crowd.

And if Rick Flair was

there, and it was their fans, it wasn't like, you know,

interlopers came in and, you know, it wasn't our real people.

It was their fans, and they just weren't feeling any of this shit.

They weren't smelling what was being cooked in front of them.

But if Ric Flair had not gone, whoo, when he chopped people,

the decibel level on this show would have gone down about 75%, wouldn't it?

Because that was,

in a lot of cases, that's what they had.

But

it just, it's,

it's odd.

I'll try to explain what happened, folks, and then maybe you can ascertain or assign a description to this fever dream.

The first tag team match was Christian Cage and Hangnail Page

against our old friends, Jen and Juice.

We finally got to see Juice wrestle.

And boy,

he's the only one I'd like to see more of.

And they use him like the WWE used to use Kaiser, a complete Stooge sidekick who just

you can't take seriously.

He's the one they cut off.

He's the one they bump around.

You see where I'm going with this.

And

when they tagged him in this match, he got in and threw five punches and they cut him off.

And

at this point, this is the first match, and these guys are

pushed, they've been used, right?

The crowd looked like a painting.

It looked a still life of AEW crowd by Whistler's mother or whatever.

And they got a long set of heat on Juice, who is not

barely established as a babyface.

And

when he was a heel, the people kind of liked him because of his look and his personality, and that he was a heel.

Now that he and Light Switch are babyfaces for the flimsiest of reasons,

the same appeal is not there.

Plus, he's a flunky.

At one point, old Nick Plain and Christian's group tried to interfere on the floor, and Hook just ran up

out of the crowd behind him and put him in a choke and drug him over the rail, and they fought off, and you never saw either one of them again.

You didn't even see flashing lights, a police report being filed outside.

He never came back in to go, Mama, Mama.

I saw somebody on Twitter posted that, the clip of that video and said, whoever dropped their children off at the arena, please come pick them up.

They're disrupting the wrestling show.

And when they fought off, by the way, Brian, did you notice they went,

here is

Hook is wailing at Hook, who came in in a hoodie, right?

And he's in street clothes.

You know, nobody would have known

who he was had the announcers not identified him.

And he's wailing the shit out of Nick, and they're running through the entranceway and the building security.

It just

some old women are just laughing and standing still and kind of smirking.

Or one of them turned their back, like, oh, don't, don't hit me accidentally as you go by.

They're not even trying to move out of the 50-year-old fucking women, not trying to move out of the way.

Hey, real quick, I'll bring it up here because I've noticed it a lot lately.

Maybe.

Actually, I don't even think it has anything to do with the dead crowds.

I think it's just the way they're doing it.

That one security guard, the big guy with the bald head.

Yes.

You see him in everything.

He's running with the heels.

He needs to lay back a little bit, I think.

Well, no, because here's the thing.

These,

here I go again.

These indie-minded guys that

the only experience they've had in their careers in the crowds has been in the rec centers and the indie shows where it's, oh, it's such a

big boost to everything if we fight all over the building.

Now that they're working for a fucking billionaire and they're on national television.

I am sure that the insurance, it would, you know what, now that I think about it, it'd be a tickle to know if Tony Kahn's insurance company knows what kind of shit they do out in their crowds.

But to

potentially, hopefully eliminate the liability

of somebody getting involved, or more likely at this point, since they have no heat and everybody's laughing at them, them accidentally backhanding somebody and knocking Granny's dentures out.

They've got to have that guy.

But here's another idea.

Don't do all this shit.

Every fucking show, every segment.

There was one match, they never got in the ring.

We're going to get to it in a second.

But that,

so they're gone.

We'll be back in the arena more

here coming up.

But Juice tagged White, and he made a comeback on Page by trading forearms and chops.

And

Jay White punched Adam Page six times in the head and went to shoot him off, and Adam Page reversed it.

What were we just talking about here a little while ago?

But the point is

the heel didn't take one bump for the babyface's comeback.

And finally, Jay White got a leg drag and took him down that way.

Adam Page is fucking rotten.

He was a better babyface than he is a heel because at least he had a heel to somewhat call a fucking match.

But either that or he just says, fuck Jay White, this guy's a jobber.

He gets the tag.

He comes in.

They trade

evenly.

And then Jay White punches him in the head six times and he reverses him and never takes one goddamn bump for the guy's comeback.

So then finally,

after all the momentum was lost,

old Jay White got a couple of DDTs and tagged juice in.

And then the babyfaces beat up the heel

two-on-one with three or four big moves while the referee stood and gawked at him.

And then

Jay White gave a brain buster to Paige, and Juice covered him.

And the referee dropped down to, instead of telling, Jay left on his own.

Instead of the referee, he said, Jay, you got to get out of here.

He just dropped down and count.

And it was a two count.

So now you have

two babyfaces beating up one heel in front of the fucking referee, and they still can't beat him.

And then Paige beat up both of the babyfaces by himself.

And then they got to the spot where Paige and Juice tried to both get on the top rope so they could do the flying wingy dingy.

And as

it's impossible for both guys to get all their feet on the top rope and hold on to to anything but each other, which looks so phony to begin with, right?

It's just, they're trying to teeter-totter up there with this guy that's trying to do them damage.

Oh, here, let me

balance up here to help you so you can fling me off this thing on my head.

I wouldn't want you to drop me before you kill me.

And you slips off,

but not all the way, just his feet slipped.

So he climbed back up into Paige's arms so Paige could give him the fucking SOS sack of shit slam off the top rope

to count.

And then they did a back and forth with all four of them while the referee, whoever he may be, stood there and stared some more.

And then Juice had Cage beat, but Nick's mom drew the referee so that Pip Sabian could hit Juice in the head with the contract

case apparatus.

and he fell into Page's Dead Eye 123.

So a bad finish with sloppy execution, and they beat the only guy that we really are interested in.

What are your thoughts in this fiasco?

You know, I think there's the problem with AEW.

Here you have two of the, I guess you could say the top heels in the company, Adam Page and Christian Cage.

Not all the wrestlers' names rhyme, folks.

But you have Adam Page and Christian Cage.

Then you have Jay White who's been pushed to that level level and it really hasn't worked.

And Juice Robinson, who it's that thing where we could say how much we like him over and over again.

After a while, they keep booking him like this and beating him.

He's the job guy on the team.

You know, after a while, you don't want to see him anymore.

If that's the way they're going to book him,

well, book him, Dano.

They're booking him out of the reasons people like him.

Yes, exactly.

We can't have anybody actually appealing to the audience.

Let's fucking confuse that issue.

But Brian, that was just a prelude to the more insanity that's going to come along.

We have come now to the time in our program where

Tony Kahn needs to hire a construction company because the people he's got doing his handy, I can loan him the Monroes.

I'm kind of laying him off early this year because of the impending downturn in the United States and eventually the global economy.

So I'm cutting elective spending.

I could give Tony the Monroes.

If he can't find competent construction professionals, did you see the fake wall?

I did, but for AEW standards, this was a good fake wall.

We've seen really, really bad ones.

I think this was maybe the best of the...

Two, three, four.

How many times has it happened?

Well,

but I see every time they keep trying to follow my suggestions on how to make it not look so fucking phony,

but they still,

I'm going to have to give them some more because they've, once again, they've dropped the ball here.

And well, first off, by the way, to let the people know, Renee Moxley Good was in the back with Mercedes, Moon, and Camille.

And now

Camille's Christmas goose has been cooked before Thanksgiving.

She is dead in the water, as the boys used to say, because

they've completely fucked it up now.

Now, Camille has her arm in a sling,

but she's still carrying Mercedes' shit, and Mercedes is barking orders at her, and ah, yellow, you dumb shit.

And so the whole cool bodyguard thing is dead.

The whole fucking striking giant athletic woman is now reduced to being a fucking stooge.

And the only way they were ever going to get any value whatsoever out of this untalented shell of a human being, Mercedes Moon,

was to have some of this dichotomy with Camille and get her over.

And they've killed it.

And

Mercedes sent Camille into the locker room.

Yeah, you get on in there and clean my toilet or whatever.

I don't know.

And then she droned on doing a promo about Chris Statlander until Statlander shows up behind her in the hallway.

And as Mercedes turns around, she starts yelling for Camille.

And Camille comes out, and Statlander just runs Camille into the fucking wall without even stopping walking.

Just grabbed her like bump, and down goes Camille, and she's still moving.

And she gets a fight with Mercedes.

And Camille tries to get back in and help Mercedes.

And Statlander tackles

Mercedes and Camille through another fake wall.

And they tried this time.

They shot it tighter so you couldn't see off the edges.

And then there was nobody jumping out of the fake room behind it this time like there was last time.

But Brian, for one thing.

There was four feet between the studs.

And I've done a lot of remodeling projects over the last few years.

18 inches is the law.

You got to have a stud every 18 inches.

Or in Mercedes' case, possibly more often, we don't know, but at least every 18 inches.

And they just went through a sheet of drywall that was four feet fucking.

They walled off a hallway and they shot it tight.

But then

when they went through the drywall, Brian, how many rooms do you know that only have a wall on one side?

Not too many rooms.

Because they only went through one sheet of drywall.

And you saw the two befores that they put up and they went through, or didn't go through, they went past, but there was no drywall on the other side.

And it opened up into a room that apparently was four feet wide and eight feet long with no furniture in it and a real door on the other end.

They just walled up the L curve in a goddamn hallway

just so they could go through.

What is their fascination with people going through walls

So that was the uh

that was the wall

Just another brick in the wall just another prick in the wall So when I told you off air before that the show is becoming utterly fascinating This is a great example of it

Because it kind of feels like

a little bit of WCW at the end, a little bit of TNA at all sorts of points.

But it has a certain feeling.

And then everything is wrong.

Just everything.

Here's an example.

We've talked about it before.

Diesel, Sid Vicious.

In your case, Hercules Hernandez and Big Bubba Rogers.

Killer Kyle II, I guess, technically.

Technically.

You know, we've seen the big bodyguard.

We've never seen the klutz.

Big bodyguard until Camille.

That's when they decided to have the klutz bodyguard character.

How many times have we seen Camille grab her arm and yell, ow, in the last few weeks?

About as many times I've grabbed my head and said, ow.

And how many weeks of TV did they not, did they just do all these things like in the back one day?

Or is this something they're doing on the road these segments?

I don't know.

I expect

next week they'll be putting itching powder in Camille's fucking trunks.

And, you you know, she'll be.

It's fascinating.

You watch it unfold and you're like, where, where is this going up?

It went right there.

Yeah,

it's going to be so.

And it's gone.

So, but I got to get to the next one.

I got to get it because this was Tony Schiavone calls out.

Well, doesn't call out.

He didn't want to fight.

Tony's past the point of fighting, but he introduces to speak to the world

Will Osprey.

And

boy, remember when the people were going batshit?

Just even a few weeks ago in certain places and a couple months ago, especially in Osprey, Osprey.

And

he came out and they were like, yeah, he's here.

And he started talking, and the crowd didn't care.

They started chanting.

They were chanting, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole.

And And yes, that's the, we know that's the chant from across the pond, and it pertains to him.

But he was speaking at the time

about something that he wanted them to listen to, and they just went into business for themselves.

This wasn't on queue.

This wasn't at the spot they're trying to

incite it at.

This was just,

yeah, because he, and he wouldn't shut up and milk it.

He just kept going.

And he kicked Tony out of the ring and he called out Kyle Felcher so they could have a a talk.

They're old friends.

And

they play the music and now out comes Kyle and now he's dressed all in black and he's got more tattoos on his arm.

Remember his last new look lasted like six weeks with the boy band blonde hair and all the colors.

And now he looks like a fucking.

Randy Orton.

He looks like a bootleg Randy Orton now.

I don't know.

I was thinking Teenage Skin Head from Sydney.

But, you know,

hey, where can I rent that film?

He'll steal it.

He'll steal all the material.

And

Kyle talked his way down the aisle.

And as he was getting in the ring, and the people were booing, but I don't know whether it was the Dominic Mysterio booing, we just, or just booing for real, like, oh, Christ, he's going to talk.

But

then they couldn't even be serious at the start as when he gets in the ring, Osprey says,

well, before

we do anything, I've been in Don Callis's meetings, and I want you to drop whatever's in your back pocket.

And

Cal pulls a screwdriver out, a neon yellow screwdriver, and dispenses with it.

God, is anybody ever going to actually stab somebody with that fucking thing?

Well, it did land

in a way that I've never seen anyone.

It was like a perfect landing.

It stuck right into the ground.

Well, yeah, when Osprey flung it down, it stuck into the mat.

But again, that illustrates that

every time they hit somebody with it, they hit them with the handle.

Anyhow, they had a good long talk,

did Kyle and Osprey about how they lived together and were great friends and partners.

And

Osprey helped Kyle come there.

And

everything was great.

But now with what's going on here, Kyle, you know where I live.

You know where I work out.

You've been to my son's school and it scares the crap out of me and my wife.

He's trying to make this fucking teenage twink sound like Max Kady.

And what the.

I'm scared, Rob.

I'm scared.

You know where the school is.

How is he?

It escalated to that that point that he thinks this guy is going to kidnap his child.

Hey, who's that new handyman at the school?

The guy with the screwdriver.

Oh, no.

Oh, it's a Phillips head.

So, and then Kyle tells Osprey, I know you're never going to believe this, Brian, but

he said, You didn't do all that for me.

You did it for yourself because you were jealous and selfish and you wanted to keep me down.

Has that not been the bone of contention of every former friend in aew land

it's like so it's like the aew form of hazing

it's booking hazing for aew wrestlers but now here i'm gonna say something good about it i'm gonna say something good about it here hold on osprey fired up and he cut a promo

on kyle that

i can't say the promo was good but he answered him if this material wasn't shit his delivery and emotion

might have gotten something over here.

But they're still talking about nonsense.

Nobody gives a shit, right?

And then,

but finally, remember, I said somebody needs to produce him for an American audience.

Osprey asked, Kyle said, I've done this and I've done that.

What have you done?

And then he said, Sawdall, lad.

And people are like, readip, readip, readip.

Speak American, mate.

What do you think the percentage of people in Bridgeport, Connecticut that understood the phrase sawdall, lad, was?

I shan't have a guess, you wanker.

I would say five to seven percent of the people in that building, and that's a small number.

And by the way, if you want to look up how many people they had in this goddamn airplane hangar,

because boy, they and it was again was a surly bunch.

But so now that they're doing sawdall, lad, you haven't done nothing.

That's like you haven't done nothing.

So Kyle says, I'm going to surpass your every accomplishment.

And I want to prove it at full gear.

They're challenging for the match.

The show's in 10 days from the fucking date of the television program.

And

he challenges Osprey and Osprey agrees since he's Mr.

Pay-Per-View.

And then he goes into a story.

This is going a while, friends.

He goes into the story that he was watching Kyle shave his head and have a meltdown when he was sitting on the couch holding his son's hand.

But then he looked down and he realized that he couldn't feel his hand and he couldn't feel his son holding his hand because he was numb from the Tiger Driver 91.

They've always got to say that as opposed to any other previous year's version,

whatever the fuck.

And he's going to get back at Kyle for that at full gear because he's taken that away from him that he can't feel his son's hand or whatever the fuck.

But the point is, at least he ended it, right?

Oh, no.

Because Kyle couldn't stop.

Kyle could, he had to answer that back, sounding like a pissed-off Roddy McDowell.

Every bit is physically intimidating, too.

Cornelius.

And he killed the oomph that Osprey had

by making his own statement.

And then,

and they've already prefaced this.

They didn't trust that either one of them was coming alone.

So they say, well, I've got friends.

Well, I've got friends too.

So then Brian Cage and Lance Archer pop in.

But Osprey's not worried because I've got friends too.

And here comes Powerhouse Hobbes and Mark Davis.

How did Hobbes get stuck with this?

First, he comes back last week and

doesn't even get the attention put on him.

He's just an afterthought.

And now,

and Mark Davis, could he look any more like,

you know, Dan Tucker?

Just fucking, just a regular fucking

sod

lad.

And

he's a sad lad, I'll tell you that.

And they got in a big six-way, but Davis wouldn't hit Felcher.

And then,

and I seriously, folks, this is, we're not talking about, and then after commercial break, this is all happening,

just on and on.

What a description.

This is all happening.

This is all happening, just one thing after another.

All six of these guys fought off and left the arena in seconds, except for Lance Archer, who for some reason didn't feel motivated to leave the ring until they started playing Roderick Strong's music.

music

and then archer goes to the entranceway so he's going to cut roderick strong off when he comes out because now they're supposed to have a falls count anywhere match

do you want to make any comments on because this this again we haven't gone to commercial but this is going to take a dramatic right turn do you have any comments on Osprey and Felcher and their efforts here?

Let me just say this isn't the first time in recent weeks that AEW, it's just gone from like one of these big angles into the next match, like as everything's happening.

So this is like a new thing for them.

I thought there were points of Fletcher and Osprey

where they were actually good.

And

you had to deal with a lot with that crowd because they didn't give a shit.

And,

you know, I would almost rather them cat call the wrestlers than just sit there silently like they're watching a play.

And there were moments it was good, but it went way too long

to the point where you're like, Why are you two still talking?

And again, this guy almost killed him, you know.

He almost killed me.

Come out, talk to me.

What?

Yeah, let's sit down and go over this point by point.

I know you have a screwdriver, take it out.

Well, is that a screwdriver in your pocket, or did you come to talk to me?

And also, you mentioned cat calling, we'll get there.

We will get there.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, Kool-Aid, my kind of cats.

But first we've got Lance Archer standing at the entryway waiting on Roderick Strong when Roddy comes out of the tunnel on the other side and whacks him in the back with a kendo stick.

And as he did,

he whacks him in the back and he slipped on that ramp surface and fell down and then starts after him with the fucking stick.

And

the corpse referee is out there, so we know it's going to be, this is going to be all the way garbage wrestling.

And

again, they've been, the other segment, they've all fought off and they talked us to death.

So now they figure, well, we'll give them action.

So the action they give us

is they fight back through the other entrance tunnel into the backstage, what one would think is the guerrilla area, except gorilla's not even there.

It was just the backstage area.

It was pitch black.

There were no lights on.

And they were taking bumps, but you couldn't see anything.

And Sockface

was calling, oh my God, a choke slam on the table because he was in the meeting.

So he was having,

for the viewers who can't see the blind viewers, I'm going to narrate for you what's happening.

How was he able to see it on his monitor?

So

finally, after they've done a choke slam and something else, and you can see a little light coming through the curtain.

So by the way, they've smartened people up that their two entrance tunnels can completely meet 10 feet apart in the back.

But finally, somebody turns like one,

you know, like one of those parkhand TV lights or a handheld spotlight on or something so you can see part of this and the crowd in the arena.

which is just on the other side of the curtain, and you know they're watching this on the screen, deathly silent.

They're like, what the fuck?

And then they went to a commercial break.

And in picture and picture now,

because there's no, you know, with the commercial break, what's the picture?

And you got the audio of the commercial.

So all you see is the picture of what's going on in the arena.

And they

fought into the arena.

And I say fought.

They

made some half-hearted attempts at fighting in between, staggering around to move from place to place, right?

And they got a few two counts on the concrete.

And every time you would see the camera, the fans behind them are laughing at them.

And they're holding their phones up, either taking a picture or shooting video or pointing to the person next to them, going, Look at these goofballs.

Nobody's even worried about catching a stray backswing.

They must think, well, this shit's so phony, I can't possibly be hurt.

And then when they come back from the break to the full,

full screen and normal audio, the building is deathly quiet.

Lance Archer is up in the camera screaming, trying to

steal a promo, and behind him, nothing, nothing.

And that's why, can't they all see that they've done this over and over and nobody cares?

It's not new anymore.

There's a reason why indie wrestling got over with indie crowds because it wasn't on television and you saw it twice a year.

Am I lying?

Well, I think the modern indie fan may go more than two times a year, but

there's a difference between the stuff that gets over with big audiences and the stuff that is micro-booked to a micro audience.

Ring of Honor ran Chicago three times a year if they were lucky.

And New York got four.

Everything else got fucking two.

Any kind of indie promotion with a budget, they're not running a market more than a few times a year.

What, two, three, four, five, six, maybe?

Unless they're drawing a crowd of 150 people, in which case you're not really fighting in a crowd, are you?

But it's non-stop.

So then suddenly in the middle of this.

It's non-stop with people that aren't in a position where you want to see them.

Like Randy Orton and Kevin Owens, to use a modern example, like as of this moment.

If there was a Falls Count Anywhere match,

you could understand it because of look at what's happening in this thing.

Yes.

Or Bronson Reed and Seth Rollins.

Bronson Reed and Seth Rollins.

Have we seen a single match between Lance Archer and Roddy Strong ever?

So the first time we see them, I guess it's because it's the only way it's believable that Roddy would be able to beat Lance Archer.

Well, but think about this also.

You don't see Falls Count Anywhere matches in the WWE or just constant fighting through the arena in the WWE.

They don't want to get sued.

And so if it does happen,

it stands out.

Oh, shit.

You know, we don't see them.

They must be mad.

Whatever.

This is just...

You can't remember all the people that have done this.

And then,

so they're supposed to be having a match, even if it's Falls Count anywhere.

And suddenly, Brian Cage comes out and just starts beating the shit out of Roddy.

And then Taven and Bennett come out and start beating the shit out of Archer and Cage.

And again, they were fighting three feet in front of fans who were laughing at them and taking pictures, and nobody's scared or like backing up, like, give them some room.

And then Archer grabs Tavin, and Archer,

because he's got great balance for a big guy.

So he steps up on one of the railings, one of the barricades around the floor area.

It's like, what, six inches wide, maybe.

But he pulls Taven up and Tavin steps up with him and stands there motionless, not trying to get away or to

foil the attempts that this madman archer is making to do harm to him.

And finally, 14 seconds, I counted.

And Archer chokeslams him onto a bunch of security guards who just ran up there and then were never seen again.

And then Roddy is fighting Archer again.

Now they're back to a match.

And Roddy jumps off the rail with a knee lift and covers him on the floor.

One, two, three.

So now Roddy got his three wins.

So he's going into the

match at full gear with MJF.

And

you would think Adam Cole, who has his third match later later on.

So now they're going to make it a three-way.

We're saying, well, what the fuck?

And they inserted at that point,

they inserted, you know, we've been seeing MJF watching, allegedly watching a TV monitor from some mansion in Scarsdale somewhere, right?

And sipping a glass of wine and reacting to what's going on.

Scarsdale?

Wherever it may be.

We don't know where.

It could be on Long Island, I would have to.

Yes, it's MJF.

His whole thing is.

Well, I don't know where that's.

Well, I know that Scarsdale...

Gold Coast.

Scarsdale is where the polo ponies roam free, according to Heyman.

But anyway, they insert like a three-second long shot of MJF sitting there in his mansion, watching and smiling enigmatically.

And it's so obviously doesn't fit the...

It looks like Bella Lugosi's scenes in Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Don't Don't have any goddamn plan.

That's exactly what it is.

So,

and then Roddy gets on the microphone.

It's not over, folks.

Roddy gets on the microphone and goes, Max,

Max,

at full gear, this all ends and I'm going to finish your ass.

And he throws the microphone down.

And when he does, there's take a shit from behind and just gloms Roddy and knocks a bejesus out of him.

And he gets on Roddy and starts hammering him.

But Adam Cole's music plays.

And Adam Cole comes out and takes his jacket off and starts walking to the ring.

I'm like, motherfucker, I hope nobody comes to save me like that.

But

when Adam Cole slides in, the referee already had Roddy on the floor.

And

now Adam Cole and take a shit

started trading forearms.

And another referee slid in and called for the bell to start another match and Jesus Christ it won't end

it will not end they're not giving anybody a chance to think about anything who said I know how we'll stop the viewers from leaving we'll have nothing end

it's like a Monty Python thing or it's Mr.

Show I guess a better example one thing goes right into the next

Well, and they went right into the next thing.

Punches and forearms that looked like shit, and nobody sold any of them.

And then for whatever reason, old Take just staggered backwards to the rope and stood there holding on the top rope, waiting about five seconds for Adam Cole to clothesline him over backwards.

And they're still playing Adam's music as this fight is going on.

And so as Take a shit is taking the bump,

Adam Cole gets to do his boom thing and then his circle and baby.

And then they resume the match.

And I think we're only 45 minutes into the show.

And this thing, it's like, my God.

And then

their break spot was take

just knocking Cole senseless with a big punch and standing on his face with one foot.

They went to the break, but when they came back, Adam Cole was in control.

And they fucked up a blue thunderbom.

And the pace slowed down, and the people are just

dead.

And

a lot of fake forearms from Adam Cole, which

to his credit, Take didn't sell,

but he would throw one at Adam Cole and it'd knock him down and out and groveling.

I've never seen such goddamn ineffective baby faces.

And

again,

but then you can't, Adam Cole,

he can be knocked down with one half-hearted forearm, but then take a shit, foils the Panama Sunrise, hits some kind of reverse styles clash thing, and a wheelbarrow suplex and a clothesline, and gets a two-count on him.

But then he's killing Adam, he's just beating the shit out of Adam Cole

until finally...

Cole hits the super kick and the Panama Sunrise,

and Take rolls out to the floor and reaches reaches under the ring and pulls the diamond ring out from under the apron of the ring.

Wouldn't you think that he might have thought an easier place to put a goddamn ring is in your trunks?

How did he know he was going to get the opportunity to go under anyway?

So

this is where they do

another one of these finishes that just buries everybody involved.

Adam Cole sees Take a shit there on the floor right next to the ring.

He's going to walk past the referee to get to him.

When he walks past the referee, he slightly shoves the ref,

and the referee walks all the way across the ring in the other direction and does double and triple takes back and forth, obviously not looking behind him until Take a Shit nails Adam Cole with the ring and rolls in and covers him one, two, three.

So now it's not

Roddy and

Adam Cole versus MJF.

It's Roderick Strong versus MJF.

Which,

again, the fans actually got more behind Roddy in this earlier than they did Adam Cole here.

Yeah, they weren't behind Adam Cole at all.

No, the whole thing is uninteresting and death warmed over.

But just if

he's going to be on a pay-per-view and he's wrestling Roderick Strong the way that he has been presented in this instance.

Well, the other thing is, one of the few things I think right now would cause the AEW fans to revolt would be the idea of Takesha taking a pin from Adam Cole.

Because everyone sees what everyone sees with Adam Strong.

Don't book the match.

I completely agree.

Don't book this feud.

Let's go a step further.

It's that MJF's coming back from apparently making an Adam Sandler film, so there'll be some money behind that thing

to wrestle Roddy Strong.

I'm sure it'll be a great match.

But MJF better not do a job to Roddy Strong.

And then if Roddy Strong's just going to be be wrestling a great match with someone he's going to lose to, and it's apparent that's what it is, I don't know.

Well, but it's not over.

It ain't over, Brian.

This is still going on.

Because now that they've established that it's Roddy versus MJF, they get a shot of MJF back at the mansion and he's laughing.

And then

Roderick Strong attacks Take a shit

and starts wailing on him.

and Take turns around and kicks him right in the balls and down he goes and then Take puts the ring back on and goes to hit Roddy but here comes Kyle O'Reilly

and chases him out with a chair

and

Take goes to the entranceway where he can be safe except here comes Ricochet

What is happening?

Ricochet super kicks Take

and Take goes ass over tea kettle kettle and jumps up and runs off and leaves his belt behind what is his title again is that the continental classic what uh that's a good question or the north american or the is it the international international what i don't whatever belt he's got he left it and ricochet picked it up and started to hold it up but they They cut the camera back to the ring where Kyle was helping Roddy up

and dusted him off.

But Adam Cole offered to shake hands with Kyle O'Reilly, and Kyle wouldn't take it and left the ring.

And the NS are going, look at these three back in the ring.

You know what this means?

Yeah, it means what you kind of should have done at the start.

It's too late now.

And that was, again, another.

How many people were involved in that?

Depends on when you want to say the start was.

You told me, is the start of that whole thing the Osprey promo?

I did.

That was the start of it, wasn't it?

It was the Osprey promo with Fletcher into the Roddy Strong versus Lance Archer match, which went right into Adam Cole versus Takesha.

It's Mr.

Show with Bob and David.

One thing right into the next.

Well, it was 9 o'clock on the East Coast.

All of that had happened in the first hour.

So they've apparently never heard of the old saying, less is more.

And by the way, all throughout the night, they're advertising, or advertising, they're mentioning, you know, Mox takes over Superstation TBS.

Yes.

Which sounds like a real bad takeover if everyone knows about it and they're advertising it in effect.

Well, it's like, the NWO is taking over tonight.

Intelligence ferreted out the information.

But speaking of the takeover, by the way, less is more than you.

You've heard that old saying.

Here lies Lester Moore shot in the chest by a 44, no less, no more.

I have not heard that, no.

Well, in the back at 9 o'clock, Rene Moxley Good

was talking to the Hurt Syndicate and the MVP said, where did you get your journalism degree?

And then he put Bobby Lashley over and interviewed him by himself and et cetera.

It's the only thing you can pretty much count on, their segment.

And they're kind of mocking the

amateur cast of community theater participants they're being surrounded with.

But anyway, then they go to the entranceway.

Dangerous place to be here tonight.

And suddenly a fat gray-haired job guy, it looked like he was 50 years old.

It looked like John Hitchcock ran Parts Unknown, the comic store in Greensboro.

He still runs it.

Well, he doesn't look that way anymore.

No, John's five or 10 years older than this guy now.

Well, maybe a few years more than that.

This guy's Dessler.

He wasn't very active here.

He was just getting a shit kicked out.

They threw him out the tunnel, and here comes Claudio and Wheeler useless, and they're beating him with a chair.

And then the music starts for the Death Riders.

And the music is playing in the arena, but

the entrance video is on the screen.

And two members are beating up a job guy for no reason with a chair on the entranceway when...

The camera cuts to the curtain at one of the breezeways,

and you can see around the curtain where Marina Schaefer's elbow, they're just standing there waiting for the queue, stock still.

And suddenly, the queue comes, and here comes the plumber out of the curtain, and Schaefer behind him.

And every single one of them are dressed like they're ready to go out and do yard work.

And as they come to the ring and they get in the ring, the fans are sitting there talking to each other,

the people next to them.

And

it doesn't get any better because even if anybody was going to buy this Moxley promo business, he's talking about Orange Cassidy.

And somebody again needs to give them the

brutal but fair tough love talking to that.

Just because Tony's fascinated with this clown doesn't mean that anybody wants to see him in meaningful main event shit, especially after all this time.

We've seen what there is to see.

But Moxley is cutting a promo on him.

It's like anybody would care.

And he's going to make an example of Orange Cassidy.

He's going to brutalize him and mutilate him.

And the fans are basically groaning when he says that.

And then the guy,

the room is so quiet.

It's like.

I don't know.

It's like maybe it's a

FFA convention, the Future Farmers of America, America, for you people up in New Jersey.

And there's a speaker that they're not particularly interested in.

So they're kind of murmuring to each other slowly, but they're lowly rather, but they're not making any noise that they can make on purpose.

And suddenly one guy yells, go back to Roman.

And you can, it was, it was like Adam Boy Luther.

It was like it was put into the goddamn soundtrack on purpose.

It was perfect.

I could believe it.

And then, so they're

cat-calling the baddest man on the planet.

And then Pockets' music plays.

And here he comes.

And he comes out to the entranceway, the company mascot.

Followed by poor Mark Briscoe and Rocky Ramon.

Or Rocky Romano.

Rocky Romero.

I'm sorry.

Don't disparage Rocky Ramon.

Well, no,

they're so close.

And then Rocky Raccoon was out in the car with the motor running.

And I swear to God, they are now letting the fucking mascot talk.

And he cut

one of the most lackluster promos ever in the wrestling business.

The delivery.

It's the delivery.

Hey, hey, hey, Jim.

Yeah, it's

good to see you here.

And I guess we're going to wrestle.

I guess.

Yeah.

I guess there'll be a match.

I guess so.

Yeah.

What is that?

He sounded like Ned Nebish at a fantasy camp for wrestling.

It's one of the fans gets to come out on the set and cut a wrestling promo, but this guy is some kind of fucking CPA that's, you know, only had sex with his right hand and he just doesn't have any personality.

That's his personality.

That's his gimmick that he's chosen for himself.

Can you imagine what it would be like to try to talk to this motherfucker in person if that's the way he acts on television?

Well, do remember.

And never forget.

Never forget.

At one point when there was some communication between.

At one point, word got back to us that Tony Kahn wanted it to be known to you that if you would just talk to Jim, you would love him.

Not you being Jim, but him being Jim, Orange Cassidy.

If you would just talk to him, you would love him.

Yeah.

Hey,

I understand you have a collection.

Stuff.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

If they would put him somewhere where he can only communicate via phone

and not be on television, then I might like him better.

But anyway,

so he answers Moxley that he's going to stand up for all that's right in the world and also

challenged useless for next week on TV and made some chess references.

And Moxley answered him by saying on November 23rd, abandon all hope.

Like this guy is goddamn,

you know, Mephistopheles himself.

Queen Teg's battleship.

And then they played music and they left.

And I was like, wait a minute, that was taking over TBS.

It's a live in-ring promo when they beat up a gray-haired fat job guy.

But then...

I remember when Gene Oakerland Oakerland used to take over TBS like this.

Yes, and you had to call the hotline to find out why.

But then as the heels are leaving, Darby Allen appears on the top of the bleachers over the breezeway and dives off onto the heels and everybody gets in a fight and Moxley runs off.

And then the camera goes to the back of the building and Moxley and Marina Schaefer get in the truck.

But neither one of them apparently thought to get in the driver's seat.

Claudio has to drive.

So Claudio jumps in, and they're pulling out without a wheeler.

But then Darby comes running from the side as the truck is moving and dives into the back of the pickup truck.

So Claudio stops it and gets out, and they get in a fight.

And Claudio big swings Darby into a garage door and jumps back in the truck.

And then Wheeler runs and jumps into the truck just in time, and the heel's pulled out.

Jesus Christ.

What in the

they think somehow that somebody somewhere is going to be interested in what happens between Plumber Moxley and Pockets?

And

the only people that even know the one guy exists on the planet are already watching this show, and they're going to be the last ones to leave.

Because if you're a fan of Orange Cassidy,

A, your standards are very low, and B, you're one of the die-hard,

indeerific wrestling fans that are going to watch an outlaw mud show above anything else till the bitter end.

And that's what the end of this show will be: bitter.

Brian, your comments on this

unfolding situation.

This was the big thing.

It was like a classic MSG show, the main event right in the middle of the show.

Mox takes over TBS.

If you tuned in to see that,

the way it was billed, you're disappointed.

If you tuned in to hear Moxley finally explain anything,

you were disappointed.

No pack.

Did he go home again?

I don't know where PAC was.

Maybe he missed the truck on the way down, like Wheeler missed it on the way back.

I guess, or maybe he was driving.

That's a great way to write off someone who's not there that week.

Oh, he's behind the wheel.

No, it was Claudio because Claudio had to stop the truck to get out to fight the fucking

chase the cat.

This whole thing is fucking awful.

It's death.

That's why they're the death riders.

It's death.

We're going to ride death straight to death.

You know what?

They misspelled it.

It's death writers.

Is that what it is?

They are riding the death of the.

They better be glad they got some guaranteed money.

You know what their TV show has become?

The world's biggest budgeted fair show.

When you sold a fucking fair show

to the county fair board, you guaranteed the money, you knew exactly how much you were going to get, and you could just go and have fun and jack off.

And you didn't have to try to sell any tickets.

It was all up to them.

This is going to really be big when Omega and the Bucks return to save AEW from...

Moxley and the crew that isn't over.

We heard from people there.

It was flat.

That was the word used.

Flat.

The crowd didn't give a shit.

I don't know if it was this match or match, this segment or somewhere else, but the fans were chanting OTC

during this show.

You asked about the attendance earlier.

Yes, I did, didn't I?

As of the morning of the show, Wednesday, November 13th, according to WrestleTicks, 2,643 tickets distributed.

Their last time in the market, November 16th, 2022 for Dynamite, 3,141 at that time were distributed.

Well, and again, that's distributed.

And I'm starting to wonder because a lot of these people aren't reacting in some of these locations like they've got a lot of skin in the game.

I'd like to know at some point what they're actually selling to people that are coming intentionally to try to have a good time.

And the people that are coming to do whatever they're coming to do.

And maybe just maybe just get some rest, get a good night's sleep since it's so quiet in the building.

Well, that's right.

And of course, this was only about halfway or a little more than halfway through dynamite.

But for a lot of people in certain parts of the country and the world, it was time for sleep and you need a good mattress for a good night's sleep.

Boy, I'll tell you what, with this television program, sometimes you just want to go and hide under the bed.

But neither way, either way.

Or neither one.

Either one.

Or neither.

I don't know actually what point you're making.

Yes, I'll tell you what.

Whether you want to hide under the bed or get a good night's sleep, the best way to do it is with our friends at Helix Sleep.

And I'm going to tell you something right now, Brian.

You're going to find this hard to believe.

We are going to be able, because the holidays are coming up, we're going to be able to give the people, the cult of Cornell members, a better deal than ever before

at Helix Sleep because of this monumental holiday coming up.

Guess what the discount is going to be?

I'm just going to tease you.

Guess what it's going to be?

5%.

You are incorrect, sir.

7.5%.

You're way off.

10%.

You're way too low.

I'm not even going to prolong the agony, folks.

25%

off site-wide

and

two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase and

with any Lux or Elite mattress collection order, you get a free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set, and a mattress protector.

And the mattress protector, very important

for those of you out there with the various problems with incontinence and leakage and seepage, you want to keep this thing nice because they last so long.

You can't be just pissing and pooping and everything on this mattress.

It's going to last so long.

it'll look like goddamn tie-dyed superstar Billy Graham t-shirt by the time you're finished with it.

So, get that.

But anyway,

that's an amazing discount because we helix has been around with us forever.

We've got helixes, you and I, both of us, all through the house, Brian.

You put your kids on them.

I put my dog on them.

I probably like my dog a little bit more than you like your kids.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Well, but nevertheless, we even put our wives on them.

And that can run hot and cold depending on the fucking season.

So,

nevertheless, folks.

Divorce.

Yes, and yes, Kimo Sabi.

But I'll tell you what.

At Helix Sleep, they've got all the various mattresses that we've talked about.

The Lux collection, the Elite Collection.

They got the kids' mattresses.

They got the mattresses for you.

If you like to sleep firm or you like to sleep soft or you like to sleep hot or you like to sleep cold, however you like to sleep, including standing on your head, they will fix you up.

But now,

again,

this offer, helixleep.com/slash JCE,

25% off site-wide and two free.

You know, the dream pillows, that's where you program it before you go to bed and lay your head down at night.

What do I want to dream about?

It's got the little dial has childhood, money, sex,

sports.

What do you say?

And you just set it and you lay your head down on the dream pillow and that controls the subject of what you dream about at night.

It's a revolutionary new technology.

It's a made-up technology that is not a part of this campaign from Helix Sleep.

It exists nowhere that I know of.

But your mattress can be there for you wherever you are.

Tell them how to get it, Jim.

Well, that's right.

And you don't have to take it wherever you go.

You can get multiple mattresses so you can go from one place place to another.

But you're not up on the new technology where they can now control your dreams.

If you lay your head in this thing, it wraps around your ears and sends the signals in through your oral cavities.

And you can dream about whatever you pick to dream about.

And you can also block a few people as well.

Again, you get to pick five people that you can block from your dreams once you get your dream pillow.

Not from the, no, it has nothing to do with this.

I don't know what you're promising or guaranteeing people here, but once again, Helix Sleep, let's wake up and tell everyone one more time, Jim, what's that promo code?

Wake up and go to sleep on your Helix Sleep mattress at helixleep.com/slash JCE, 25% off site-wide, two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase.

And

if you get a Lux collection mattress or an Elite collection mattress, a free bedding bundle, two pillows, a sheet set,

and a mattress protect.

And the sheets do not come with eye holes.

No eye holes for a-holes, but you can get a great mattress for you with a week's sleep.

Once again, slash JC.

Well, there's a dot-com in the middle there, but I guess that goes without saying.

All right, we continue on with this fun dynamite review.

Of course, that was the main part of the show, but it's both uphill and downhill from here.

Well, that wasn't even the main part of the show.

We've still got some big stuff to go now

because they're still going to break some more rules.

We had an intermission, Britt Baker wrestled Penelope Pitstop.

Remember when Britt Baker was over?

You could hear a mouse pissing on cotton during this match, and it was 10 minutes long, bell to bell.

And then

nobody got beat up afterwards, but when Britt Baker won,

then Serena Deeb came out carrying her flag to the entranceway and they stared at each other.

So there was some involvement here.

And where did Deanna Perazzo go?

She was drinking wine in some segment the last time I saw her.

Serena Deeb got a flag.

She was, but Deanna Perazzo was everywhere.

And I just remembered she suddenly disappeared and Serena has been gone, but now she's back.

But

anyway,

but again, again, to my steady criticism of the women's division that I think people need to look past, that they don't want to hear and pay attention.

No one gets better working under these kind of conditions.

These women are not going to get better at doing this, wrestling in front of a crowd that acts like they don't want to see the match.

They would rather see their mother hooked up to a machine.

They don't react.

That's a negative audience reaction.

If you're the bathroom break match every time, if you're the cause of the ratings going down every time,

if people don't react at all, I mean, it's frighteningly silent.

And then you talk to people there and they're like, oh yeah, it was really awkward.

There's a problem.

There's a problem.

Women's wrestling has a place, but just jamming it into these shows where no one's over already is not helping anything.

Because it's not like Britt Baker's fucking Charlotte Flair or you know even Mercedes Monet like she doesn't have like a track record of being able to

work matches in the ring like she's had a few matches like you know the wild brawls that people kind of liked but she also got hurt a lot she doesn't seem to know a lot of the basics

she needs work too but they just throw everyone out there for 10 minutes in front of a crowd that doesn't give a shit

but that wasn't the women's segment that made more people

comment or interact or whatever on the social interwebs.

It was the interview that followed this presentation with,

again,

the only interviewer apparently they have now, Renee Mox Legoud,

who at some point, anybody could just come up to her and say, what the fuck is your husband talking about?

Hey, Tony, fire her.

Yeah.

This guy's so out of control.

Why are you rewarding him by hiring his wife?

Fire her.

Let's even the playing field a little bit.

But maybe she's told Tony, hey, I got to get away from this lunatic.

Please let me keep my job.

I don't have any control over him.

I don't know what he's fucking talking about.

Just

let me keep my check so I can get a little apartment over in Newport.

But anyway,

Renee was in the back with old Mitsu Arakawa, who was

dressed in a.

Oh, thank God you saw this segment.

Well, yes, yes, I had to.

I was going to fast-forward it, but when I saw some of what was fast-forwarding, I had to back it up and see how they got to that point.

Mina Shirakawa, she deserves to have her name said.

Oh, this microphone just fell down.

Mina Shirakawa, she deserves it.

Say her name.

Apparently, your boom is drooping over there.

It's a new microphone.

She's wearing a tight top that accentuates her bosom.

You got the cleavage out there.

And she does a promo that I couldn't understand.

And then Harley Cameron popped in

and grabbed Mitsu Arakawa's champagne glass and drank her champagne.

And then apparently choked on it.

I don't fucking know what she put the glass in her mouth and took the biggest.

She put the whole glass in her mouth.

Yes.

Well, some people can put five ping-pong balls in their mouth.

But she put the whole glass in and turned it back and choked herself.

Anyway,

then she spoke and she is, she's not acting like Tony Storm now.

It's even farther over the top than that.

It's like she was doing

Agnes Moorhead in a stage play.

And

she was never acting like Tony Storm.

Well, it's the overacting.

She's acting on you.

Oh, well, yeah.

All the accentuation and the.

Well, no, clearly Harley Cameron wants to be a comedic performer.

Well, whatever.

She's never done that before, but suddenly she's doing that.

And she wants to fight

Mitsu on collision, tit for tit, rack him up, and may the breast woman win.

And then they both do.

Now, for the record, that was their...

That was what they said, not what you said.

That's a quote.

She said, I want to fight you on collision, tit for tit, rack them up, and may the breastwoman win.

And then they're standing on either side of Renee, and they both start shaking their tits

from side to side in their

cleavage-revealing apparel in a dueling, tit-shaking frenzy.

Which Mina won, because Minas are natural, so they have a natural swing.

Oh, good lord.

So I give the title to Mina.

What does new world champion?

What does this have to do with the goddamn wrestling show?

And if they're going to do that, we can watch Showtime and they don't have to have a top on.

Wouldn't that be more entertaining?

I was watching this live and I couldn't, you know, it's one of those things, again, I'm fascinated.

I can't look away, but I could recognize, you know, this is like Gene Okerlin talking to like Chuck Palumbo or something.

Like, this is not like, this is WCW at the end kind of stuff.

But when they both started shaking their tits to the camera, and they call them tits, so I'm going to call them tits.

Yes.

Was tits not or tit or tits?

I don't know if it's plural, not one of the seven, not seven deadly words.

The seven words you can't say on television, you can say it now, apparently.

Well, again, they start shaking their tits to the camera, and it goes on for a little while.

Like there's like a, Renee stops talking.

So then it's just shaking.

Both women like competing against each other, shaking for the camera.

This is what AEW has become.

Is this the progressive

women's?

It's honest.

It's the most honest women's stuff in wrestling right now, if you want to be fair about it.

What happened to the women's equality and the women's revolution?

And Mercedes Moan helped propel the women to so now she can work for the company where they have tit shaking, titty-shaking

contests going on.

And somebody said on Twitter, if the WWE had done that, these people would be all over them.

And again, rightfully so, because

I don't care if it's demeaning to women, it's stupid to wrestling.

But they did it.

What?

So you want to go on to the next match?

I do, but I'm curious to see what happens with that match.

Did it happen?

I don't even know.

Did it happen yet?

Where does it happen?

It's on collision.

Oh, boy.

Great.

They haven't collided yet.

And apparently, is collision going to become the titty show where they have the titty fight.

Hey, listen.

You want the ratings to go up?

Be honest about it and make it the titty show.

And then what about when the one girl comes out and she's president of the itty-bitty titty committee?

Does she get sympathy because the other girl can easily bounce her around with her pneumatic protuberances?

See, now you've taken it a step too far.

This is why you can't be a part of the writing team over at Big Titty Wrestling.

Well, i'll tell you what there's a lot of there's there's over a million stories in the big titty and this is just one of them well let's get from titsamania back to aew dynamite

do you like boobs a lot boobs a lot boobs like so swerve strickland

with his

i would say manager even friend but now i'm not sure the way they presented him here prince nana

against Leo Rush.

Can I say something?

Please do.

This was a star-making performance for Leo Rush.

Yes.

I watched this and I'm like, Leo Rush is fucking amazing.

This Swerve guy sucks.

Leo Rush rules.

What a performance.

This match

was the best match on the show,

which makes it the worst match on the show because it killed off swerve fucking Strickland.

He is, they are just there wiping their feet on him and Nana.

And for wasn't Leo Rush a babyface two weeks ago?

We saw him do something sometime?

I want to say, yeah.

I don't remember what he did, but I think he was a babyface.

I think you're right.

Did he wrestle Shelton?

That's right.

That's what it was.

Yes.

And we said, well, this was an exemplary match because Shelton gave him.

A few openings because he's a quick little thing.

He's not quick.

He's sudden, as Gordon Soley would say.

And then then he manhandled him because he's twice his size and he beat him convincingly.

And it was a great piece of business.

That's right.

Now, Leo got his heat back against Swerve Fricklin.

Well, I was about to do this.

So, two weeks ago, Leo was a babyface,

and now he comes out and he's a fucking heel against Swerve, who is going to be wrestling Bobby Lashley

on pay-per-view coming up in 10 days.

And

he's going to have a warm-up match on TV against a guy that would need a step stool to clear a speed bump.

And

Leo Rush kicked the shit out of Swerve Strickland for a long, long time.

They had fake promos on this show, fake matches, fake walls, fake booking.

Swerve couldn't handle Leo.

Leo, like you said, looked like the one they were pushing.

And the fans got into it.

Yes.

But we'll never see Leo again, or if we do, somebody will beat him next week.

But

when Lashley gets a hold of a guy who can't beat a sixth grader,

I fear for Swerve's safety.

And again, the fans were into it because it was so preposterous.

They started wanting Leo

to fucking win.

And finally, Swerve gave him some kind of fucked up move, one, two, three.

And that was

everything that he had in him to beat Leo Rush.

Is there nobody there to produce this guy?

I would have fired Swerve Strickland for letting Leo Rush do that match.

But

again, what the fuck can will Lashley do to this poor fellow?

And then Swerve gets on the microphone and cuts a promo

and

called the town of Bridgeport, Connecticut, Stamford, Connecticut.

Right here in Stamford, Connecticut.

And they let him hear it.

The people booed the shit out of him.

And then he called out Bobby Lashley.

And here comes MVP and Bobby Lashley out in suits.

And Lashley is a giant.

He's

Andre next to this

roster.

And MVP is trying to ask him if he wants a fight, just ask me.

And he's starting to cut a promo, but the fans are still chanting.

This is Bridgeport.

And they're not listening to MVP.

Did Swerve, was he trying to

do some kind of inside shoot interview?

Or did he really believe they were in Stamford, which is 20 or 30 miles at a completely different city?

Yeah, is it one of those things where he thinks like Stanford's the big city and they just associate with the bigger city that's nearby?

I would think he'd be able to tell when there ain't no goddamn giant sports arena in Stamford like the one he's in in Bridgeport.

Well, they made up for it.

For the rest of the night, they made sure to say Bridgeport over and over and over again.

Oh my God.

So anyway, the fans aren't listening to MVP because they're cat calling the babyface for not knowing the name of their fucking town.

And I mean, this is, it's a comedy of errors on this show.

And then Bobby takes his jacket off and MVP says, well, Bobby's ready to fight, but swerve, you ought to learn.

There's strength in numbers.

And Shelton's in the ring from behind any level swerve.

And then again, Nana had to stand in the corner and do nothing.

He's just stood in the turnbuckles backed up, scared.

He's a baby face now.

And two weeks ago, or however long ago, you did a promo where he said, I used to be a wrestler.

Yes, well,

that don't look fucking particularly accurate either at this point.

Because Bobby then is beating up Swerve on the floor, but Shelton has just backed Nana in the corner and Nana's doing that kind of don't hurt me type of thing.

And Shelton's just standing there.

If you're going to be a babyface manager, yes, the idea is.

The heel manager is a coward and a chicken shit and can't whip anybody and is physically ineffectual unless he's got a

weapon or a club or he's behind the guy or whatever.

But when you become a babyface, you have to change slightly

the psychology in that

maybe the heel should save you punch them or you kick them or you did, they should sell you a little bit more than they would have if you were a heel.

But you're still not a badass or an ass kicker, but you have to try.

Your guys are your friends, and you have to, as a grown adult man,

you have to try to do something and fail, but at least you tried to stop the abuse of your

guy.

And when they're walking through this or they're talking over it, or they're in some kind of finish meeting or however they're doing things over there.

I can't understand why Nana doesn't bring it up.

And I can't understand why the producers, if they exist, don't bring it up.

Let him try to do something, be wiped out, take a bump and sell it.

But then you have made the people feel somewhat sorry for Nana because at least he tried.

Now

it looks like Nana is a coward and doesn't give a shit about swerve enough to even take a swing at a guy that's kicking the shit out of him.

And then at one point, they got Bobby back in the ring.

Nana started to just get out and leave and leave his guy there.

And MVP grabbed him and pulled him back in and choked him with the cane because MVP realizes what it's like to be a manager and he's trying to help, keep him occupied, give him something.

And there are MVPs, an exception to the rule in that

a former wrestler who becomes a manager

doesn't have to be completely physically ineffectual because they've seen that he can take care of himself and he can do shit.

But even that,

when that former wrestler is a heel,

he is still not able to one-on-one kick the shit out of the babyface wrestler, but he can certainly use a gimmick on a babyface manager.

There's a pecking order here that makes sense.

So you don't bury anybody.

Or the fans say, well, fuck Nana.

He won't even try to help.

So then.

Sheldon and Bobby beat up Swerve, and Bobby hurt locked him and put him out.

And while the heel is putting the babyface out with the goddamn hurt lock, the fans are chanting, Bridgeport, Bridgeport.

And finally, Lashley did grab Nana and they scheduled him apparently to take a bump.

And he ran him through the turnbuckles

to the floor.

And it was kind of an odd bump.

He got hung a little bit on one foot, but it looked awkward, but

in a painful way.

But in the meantime, they schedule that

the manager bump in this instance doesn't come last.

You do that, and then you put the main event form ex-world champion babyface out with the fucking your finish hold.

And that's the point you leave with.

It just

everything's backwards and upside down.

And they're cheering the heels and booing the babyfaces and chanting the name of their town while the baby face is getting,

you know, prison sodomized.

And that was almost

almost YouTube appropriate.

So I commend you for that, sir.

Well, thank you.

Leo Rush is a star.

I always say it.

He's one of my favorite guys.

He shows up and then he disappears.

Like those classic guys when you were a tape trader.

Like, oh, any footage I can get of this guy, he's never around too long.

That's him.

And he can do promos and he can get heat and he can work an entertaining match that makes sense for a little guy.

And Swerbook's like shit again.

Yeah.

Nana is like a non-entity.

He's like Paul Ellering is a manager.

He's a non-entity.

Nah, Ellering took a bump.

I shouldn't say.

Yeah.

Well, anyway.

Yeah.

I mean, the fans still think Bobby Lashley is a star.

You just got to get more fans into these buildings.

And,

you know, if they, if you get people in, if you're giving out free tickets to people to sell them on your product,

and then this is

overall show-wide, taping-wide, what you give them, don't be surprised by the reaction you're getting.

You know, normally these days, with the world the way it is, people come into an arena, they go through a metal detector.

Do you think they ought to have somebody checking the AEW crowd for rotten vegetables?

We're getting to that point.

Another 20-minute Osprey Fletcher

Shakespearean scene.

I lived with you.

You know where my child goes to school.

What?

What's he going to do to your kid?

You know that.

Or the school.

Except for the fact that Osprey mentioned his wife, that could have the same verbiage could have been used through that whole promo for a romantic relationship gone wrong.

Well, but anyway,

that was dynamite, I I was going to say, no, no, it wasn't.

We're not done yet.

Oh, really?

Because remember the mini-movie

with Julia Hart.

Yeah, I did see that.

I was fast-forwarding through a break, and I thought this was a commercial.

And about halfway through it, I again recognized it was Julia Hart, so I went back.

And

they're doing a promo with Jamie Hayter, and suddenly it cuts off just in mid-sentence.

And then

a video of Julia Hart in bed.

Unfortunately, she was dressed, but she wakes up and there's blood on her shirt.

And then the phone rings beside the bed.

And she picks it up.

That was the front cover of Please Kill Me, the blood over the chest like that.

Please kill me.

What is that?

The book, the famous fantastic oral history of punk.

Oh, I thought it was actually just Please Kill Me so I don't have to watch the rest of this TV show.

Oh, no, no, no.

That's different.

Well, she sits sits up in bed and she answers the phone, which is an old-fashioned

rotary dial phone.

And a voice says, Julia, it's time to come home.

And she says, Brody?

I guess it's Brodie King.

But then she sees that the phone cord is cut

and there's no way that somebody could have called her and she hangs up real scared.

Now, this...

This is reminiscent of one of those bad teen horror movies from the late 70s called Don't Answer the Phone about the babysitters in the house and the phone calls start coming.

And Don't Answer the Phone was also known as Don't See the Movie

because it was rotten.

Well, she

runs into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and screams and talks to herself.

And a red light comes on from behind her, behind a door, and she opens the door and someone hands her her hat

and it goes to black

do all of these eggheads think that they're the next Tarantino and just because they can do all this fucking high death video quality shit with their phone means that it also is content is good too

what the fuck is this horseshit I don't like it I never like it no matter what company does it and this specifically is is just ridiculous.

It's a scene.

And every time you think the house of the house of the black, the house of black gets past themselves enough to kind of work, like they've been on the show and haven't done anything too spooky.

Then this.

Then this just happens to be a cameraman, the fearless cameraman, back again.

In this...

Well, hey, I wouldn't be scared of being in Julia Hart's bedroom while she was asleep in bed in the dark.

If she had blood on her, I might, you know, shed blood over her heart like someone stabbed her in the chest.

What the hell was going on there?

Well, I'd be more than happy to suck the poison out.

Because that was the photo.

It's a photo of the band, The Heartbreakers, and it was supposed to be that their heart exploded.

That was the photo.

What age group, group, group?

What age group?

What age group?

I don't know.

What age group.

What age group would you have to be to know what you just said?

Because I've never heard of any of this.

That book was a very good seller.

I I can't say bestseller.

I don't think so.

So was the goddamn House of the Seven Gables in 1872 or whatever.

But how many, who would be the audience that would know this reference, this obscure reference?

I think

they want anybody to know it.

They want people to think they invented it.

Well, no, I don't think they want anyone to recognize the influence of where it came from, but I'm just bringing it up to you because I'm here to inform you.

Because you know.

Because I know.

And knowing is half the battle.

So then, speaking of half the battle, we get Malachi Black and Brody King in a tag team match without Buddy Matthews.

They were referred to as the Kings of the Black Throne.

So has the House of Black opened a subsidiary to where they're all in the House of Black, but these two are the Kings of the Black Throne?

Are they just changing that whole gimmick?

I think they've done this before when these two team up, that's their name, but they're still members of that.

They honor the House of Black

with their presence.

Well,

they honored us with their presence in the main event against FTR

with private party watching in the entranceway.

Remember when FTR's entrances brought the house down?

People heard the music and they popped and they stood up and they really cheered for these guys because they had...

Great matches with the Briscoe brothers and with Gen ⁇ Juice,

the best tag team match on television of modern times.

And

they just out, they were with punk.

They were outperforming everybody.

He had something.

And then

that got botched like everything else.

And now they wander out.

And

the entrance used to bring the house down.

And this entrance brought the house down.

And it had already flatlined to begin with.

It used to bring the house down.

There used to be a house.

Well, yeah, there was

something erect for you to, but nevertheless, so the winner of this match is going to face Private Party and the Outrunners and some other team that they're going to determine later on in a four-way at the pay-per-view to determine who gets a shot at the p-pe-ta-ta-pe.

So, again, FTR, most talented in-ring wrestlers on the show.

They've been booked into oblivion.

And they were out there doing arm drags and having a wrestling match after the fans had seen 17

attempted murders and a couple of episodes of

aggravated mayhem.

And then they went to a break.

Again, every facet of this program.

It just something is off from the fake walls to the booking to the talent to the.

They went to break at two minutes until 10 o'clock.

So when 10 o'clock came in, and people theoretically would tune in for the next program, and they have an overrun they try to get a bounce off of, the people that tuned in at 10 o'clock saw a commercial with a picture-in-picture box of some kind of random wrestling with no audio.

They couldn't have

gone to break two minutes earlier, one minute earlier.

What I

hear when we go over the ratings, let's see what 10 o'clock did.

And then they came back and Malachi Black tagged Brody King and Brody King made what looked like a comeback.

And I'm the who are the fucking heels here.

And then Brody King is like they cloned every fat tattooed indie guy in the business and he's doing all the same moves.

And so finally, I fast forwarded about five minutes because at this point, I couldn't take it anymore, this whole show.

finally the finish was FTR spike powell drove Malachi Black on the apron of the ring but then Brody King dove through the ropes on both of them

he clotheslined Dax and got a two count

clotheslined him again and got a two count

so then he just grabbed him in the sleeper and choked him out standing up

and I'm like god damn it Can the finishes get any worse?

And then Malachi Black, the guy that had just been spike pile driven on the apron of the ring, got up and walked into the ring to get his hand raised while the two guys who gave him the pile driver were laying there up flat of their fucking ass.

And then

who I thought was the heels,

pull FTR up to their feet and they all shake hands.

And that was the end of the process.

So

we saw mayhem and carnage for two hours and 10 minutes.

And then finally, at the end of the thing, they just beat these guys as flat as you can beat anybody and then

kindly pull them up and shake their hands.

What

I'm

over the show, Brian.

Wrap it up.

Hey, listen, it's a bad show,

and this was quite the choice of finish here.

I guess they want to get the Kings of the Black Throne over to that next level, that private party level.

I'm not exactly sure.

But yeah, and FTR have lost all their luster.

And it was predictable, but it happened.

And,

you know, the tag team division remains what it has been.

But this show continues to travel down some kind of weird

pathway to where you could, everybody just gets to do their own.

They're all making their own movie in their head.

But instead of trying to convince people that they're mad at somebody and they're going to have a fight, they're all actors, they're all cinematographers, they're all directors, they're all

performers and artists and with a friendly finance, financier, financier,

a friendly financier, a friendly fiancé, financier, fiancé.

And I mean, it's just, it's direct.

There's nobody to stop them and and say, what the fuck are you people doing over here?

And again,

all of the people that say, oh, they're all jealous because they're making so much money because Uncle Dave says they're going to make $250 million.

I'm not saying they're not getting paid for this show.

I'm saying the show is not any fucking good.

And it's going to get worse if they don't do something.

Yeah, man.

Last thing you want is the story to become, well, they got all this money for the deal and the ratings keep going down.

There's no audience.

McDonald's is worth $40 billion, and they make a fucking fortune.

Go try to eat one of their chicken nuggets.

Is it any good?

Fuck no.

You don't like chicken McNuggets?

Not anymore.

I don't.

All of the fast food places have gone to hell, but you finding a good McDonald's is like trying to find fucking good booking in the middle of AEW Dynamite.

They're few and far between these days.

It depends on your individual franchisee and who they hire as the manager.

Because there's a wide range.

As a matter of fact, do you know where the best Wendy's restaurant in the United States of America used to be located?

Somewhere in Kentucky, let me guess.

Middlesbrough, Kentucky.

I never would have guessed.

Right on Highway 23, as you're going from Tennessee across the Kentucky state line, is on the left-hand side.

And I would starve myself until I could get there if I knew I was going past that.

It was the best Wendy's, the most efficient drive-through, the hottest food, the most incredible service.

Everything was perfect.

Middlesbrough, and think how many Wendy's I've been to all across the country.

What was it?

What was it that, what was the intangible or intangible that made it?

I think that they found...

a manager there at that location that decided he was going to be the next Dave Thomas and he just went the extra mile.

And they even had, they had,

oh, and when Wendy's, this was 1992, 3, 4, 5, that era, when they just had regular plain buns, this place had the big puffy bakery buns that held all of the triple cheese goodness in even better so you could eat it in the car easier.

Triple cheese.

And they were always toasted just right.

Triple cheese, extra cheese, mayonnaise, pickle onion, large fry, and a big old sprite right there in Middlesbrough.

That would get you on to the...

How far is that from you?

It was to go.

Well, I went there a lot because that was the way.

That was the route to go to either Pikeville or Paintsville or all of those towns in eastern Kentucky.

It was about two hours.

to get up there, but you were going through there all the time.

So you haven't been there in a long time.

You don't know if it's still the...

Oh, I'm sure it's gone to complete shit now.

The pride of the Wendy's Wendy's chain.

Yeah, no, because, well, and unless they've completely flouted all tradition and all instructions from the corporate office and not done these horrible fucking non-smashed burgers now and changed the pickles and changed everything about and the horrible French fries.

If they've gone against all of that and just did what they were doing 30 years ago, they'd be fine.

But I'm sure they haven't.

Now you had to get me in a bad mood.

You know, that buddy Matthews looks like Wendy.

What?

No?

Red hair?

No, no, no.

Well,

I guess it's time.

We can't delay it any longer.

Did anybody watch this off-brand AEW program that was insulting to our eyes and ears that was held on November 13th?

We're going to talk about the ratings, but we mentioned it earlier.

In the middle of the show, you may have felt the urge to go to bed.

It's a long show.

It's a long two hours.

It's one of those very long two-hour shows.

It's long.

You can grow a beard.

You can grow.

You can get the time it takes to watch this thing.

Hey, if you went to bed around the nine o'clock hour, let's say you woke up from your nap around 10, you may say, hey, I need to shave.

I need to look fresh for the night.

Fresh for the night?

Well, you're fresh for the morning and get a jump on it.

Folks, there's never anything wrong with being prepared.

Maybe at some point, somebody's going to be screaming at you first thing in the morning and rouse you out of bed and tell you to get to fucking work and you're not going to have time to shave.

So take care of of it the night before.

But I'll tell you what you can do now

that Harry's, it's the holiday season.

And our friends over at Harry's that we've been talking about so lovingly that produce the fine quality shaving equipment and shaving supplies and shaving experiences all the way around,

they don't just have the trial set on sale at a ridiculously low price now.

They have a gift set.

And it's for the holidays, but it's for you or anybody that you like.

Let's say you're a man.

Let's just pretend that, Brian, you're a man.

And you want to shave your face.

And you don't want to shave your face with one of these cheap plastic disposable things that the blades pull every whisker out individually to your everlasting dismay.

and scarf up your face and you get the road rash and you look like you got the heartbreak of psoriasis all over your face.

That's using cheap stuff.

Now, cheap and inexpensive are two different things because Harry's is inexpensive, but it ain't cheap, baby, because they've got German-engineered blades made in Harry's own factory.

He installed it in his basement.

He's down there every morning.

They stay sharp longer for a smooth shave every time and

the ergonomically designed razor handle that is also weighted.

So, Brian, you get exercise while you're shaving.

Every time you're shaving with that 17-pound weighted razor handle, you're doing curls.

Just make sure that you shave equally with your left arm and your right arm, or elsewhere you'll look like Quagmire after he discovered internet porn.

Well, if you were a man, you'd be working out like a man.

Well, you can work out like a man while smelling like a woman.

And that's another thing that Harry's has.

That was an old commercial for a deodorant.

Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

But Harry's has richly lathering, skin-softening body wash and scents like redwood, wildlands, and stone,

and also old farm field and

dead goat carcass.

No, why would anyone even want that?

No.

Well, it comes with the farm.

Boy, they've got extra strength, high-quality, amazing-smelling deodorant that's very inexpensive as well.

But basically, if you're a woman that wants to make sure that the man in your life doesn't have all this swamp foliage all over his face, where every time he eats chicken noodle soup, there's bits of carrot falling out for three or four days out of his hair strainer.

You want to get that shit right down to the bone there and make it nice and slick so he can go boo down there.

Or if you're a man that wants to give a gift.

Yeah, what?

Keep going.

Give a gift for yourself or anyone else.

Give Give the gift

of a smooth face.

Harry's has a holiday.

No, keep going.

Keep going.

Well, some people like to have a smooth face on their significant other.

Oh, you know what that means.

Harry wants you to get to the point.

Yes, get to the point.

Harry's has a holiday craft set.

It includes one of the craft handles, the ergonomically designed handles, two extra blades, your choice of foaming shave gel or shave cream, a travel blade cover, and you don't have to gift wrap it because the set comes in a rich, sleek green gift box that will stand out.

People be walking down the street saying, what's that big green thing?

And you can personalize

the razor.

with the available engraving options.

I chose them to engrave one of those, well, the gargoyles that you see on those Victorian buildings, they engraved one of them on my blade handle, but you can get whatever you want engraved.

There's a variety of available options.

And it's 100% money-back guarantee.

And if you order by December 12th, you're going to get your holiday craft set by Christmas, which is what we're all hoping for.

So

you can do it.

and get 50% off half price.

Again, the craft set, the custom green gift box, and the free handle engraving.

And maybe you want a nude woman, they'll carve it right in there.

Harry's.com slash JCE.

Harry's.com slash JCE.

50% off Harry's holiday craft set in the green box.

And it's a pleasing green.

Did you get your green box yet?

I have not received my green box from Harry's yet, No.

Well, you better fucking call before December 12th.

You're not going to get it before Christmas.

Well, I will do that.

That's Harry's.

One more time.

What is that?

Promo code?

What is that?

Website.

Hello, lady.

What are we talking about here?

Well, we're talking about getting your shit shaved off by Harry's.com/slash JCE 50% off the holiday craft set containing the razor,

the handle, the heads, the blades, the shaved gel, the shaved cream.

Might be some whipped cream in there also.

Might curdle on the way to you.

And also the engraving.

You got that going for you.

But do not leave this razor where you commit a crime with it.

If you cut somebody's throat with it, don't leave it laying around.

We're at the end of the goddamn spa.

Why do you have to take it too far?

You're not going to go too far.

You're going to go right to the line with Harry's.

Your initials are on it, so you're leaving evidence.

So don't leave this laying around if you commit a crime.

No, this is not a flick knife, but once again, harry's harry's.com/slash JCE slash your way through.

Yes, slash your way through life.

Harry.

Well, let's get from the holiday craft to the holiday crap.

Let's go to the AEW Dynamite Ratings here, Jim.

How low can you go?

Just because we've been mentioning it lately, although NXT was back on their normal night, NXT

on Tuesday, November 12th, 8 to 10 p.m.

CW, 631,000 viewers.

AEW Dynamite.

Very comparable to last week.

I'm sorry.

AEW Dynamite, Wednesday, November 14th, TBS, 8 to 10.09 p.m.

On average,

watched by 666,000 viewers.

Woo!

The mark of the beast.

And they have gotten a big, a big boost, a big comeback.

For what?

Think about what you're saying.

You're saying 666 is a big comeback.

Well, last week it was 500 and whatever the fuck, wasn't it?

Yeah, last week was 523.

Yeah.

Actually, this is a big one.

The trailing four-week average is 605.

Yeah.

They've made a big comeback here to the level that NXT was at when they were laughing at NXT for having putrid ratings and they were beating them.

Well, let's go to the quarter hours.

These were compiled by WrestleNomics.

Quarter one, 8 to 8.15 p.m.

Jay White and Juice Robinson versus Christian Cage and Hangman Adam Page.

775,000 viewers.

Okay,

this is intriguing because I was thinking that they were going to start out with a massive number and

then drop like a stone from there, but

they're not really that massive at the end.

So, to make this average, is this another one of those programs where, for the kind of people who like that kind of thing, that's the kind of thing these people liked?

Well, we shall find out: quarter two, 8:15, 8:30 p.m.

The Mercedes-Monet, Camille, Chris Statlander backstage angle with a fake wall,

an ad break, and the start

of Will Ospreay and Kyle Fletcher's live promo,

649,000 viewers.

Oh, good lord.

So that's 126,000 people, and they've got to go up, or they can't go down consistently from there.

They won't make their average.

Well, quarter three, 8:30 to 8.45 p.m.

The continuation of the Osprey-Fletcher promo, now including Mark Davis, Powerhouse Hobbs, Lance Archer, and Brian Cage,

which leads into Roderick Strong versus Lance Archer, no old spark or whatever it was.

Follows Count Anywhere.

With picture and picture ads,

followed by Konosuke Takesha's live angle, followed by Adam Cole versus Takesha.

683,000 viewers.

Okay, so they just had to make sure that they were safe from the Mercedes effect before they came back, and they gained

34,000.

We go to quarter four now, 8:45, the 9 p.m.

Adam Cole versus Konosuke Takesha with picture-in-picture ads.

The post-match with Roderick Strong and Kyle O'Reilly and Ricochet.

The Death Riders backstage angle, an ad break, MVP Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin's backstage angle.

What was it backstage angle?

It's a promo.

And that's another thing.

By the way, I don't mean to go off on a tangent here.

And I understand that everybody gets the terminology they see on the internet, but it's not an angle if you just have a promo or even if somebody comes into your promo and says something to you.

That's not a fucking angle.

An angle is

a happening or an instance that is designed to heat up a goddamn rivalry or bad feelings between two entities.

And

it's not just every goddamn interview that ever takes place.

Go ahead.

Well, we go.

Where were we?

I don't even know.

Oh, quarter four.

We were about to find out what that was.

665,000 viewers.

Okay, and they went back down.

There went another 18,000.

We go now to quarter five, the big nine o'clock hour, nine to nine.15 p.m.

The Death Riders J.D.

Drake rampangle.

Orange Cassidy and John Moxley.

It's a ramp angle where

they throw a guy that we never see and probably won't see ever again out on the fucking stage and hit him four or five times with a chair.

That's not an angle.

The Orange Cassidy Jon Moxley live confrontation, an angle with the Death Riders and the conglomeration and Darby Allen.

Oh, and you skip the next thing, one of the worst things I've seen.

Followed by the Learning Trees backstage promo.

Oh, shit, I forgot about that.

Did we skip over that?

I must have flipped the page.

719,000 viewers.

Holy shit.

How did they do it?

Top of the second hour?

But I take over TBS.

Movies for guys who like Moxley.

So the people believed he was going to do some kind of major thing.

And they tune in to see it.

He does a live interview and he runs out of the house.

I'm taking over.

I'm going to go crazy.

Hey, where's that Joe Bob Briggs?

I like him.

I used to like him.

So they

started at 7.75.

They went in the 600s for the rest of the first hour.

Now they're back up to 7.19 for the top of the second hour.

Where do they go from here?

They go to quarter six, 9.15 to 9:30 p.m.

The Britt Baker-Penelope Ford match with picture-and-picture ads.

The post-match with Serena Deeb.

The Mila Shirakawa-Harley Cameron backstage angle.

Angle.

That's an angle.

That's an angle.

That was the most ridiculous thing ever.

I'm surprised somebody didn't get a black eye off of that fucking thing.

Followed by Leo Rush versus Swerve Strickland or the start of it.

678,000 viewers.

And they're back to,

you know, about where they were in the middle of quarter or hour one.

So this has not been a train wreck as far as starting big and dropping precipitously.

It's just a smaller audience overall than they used to have.

Well, we continue to quarter seven, 9:30 to 9:45 p.m.

The Leo Rush-Swerve-Stricklin match continues with picture-in-picture and full-screen ads.

I hope Swerve's going to be okay.

That was a hell of an ass kicking.

The post-match angle with Swerve-Strickland, MVP, Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin,

621,000 viewers.

That's another 57,000.

That's a low point of the show.

And you can tell that there is some fatigue beginning to set in from

just how much more can they see.

You know, it's one of those things, just a real quick break here before we get to the end.

With Swerve Strickland,

you know, when people make a big deal out of his contract and how much money he's getting.

That's one of the things you look at.

He never, I mean, his stuff with Danielson.

We talked about it a lot when talking about Danielson, but Swerve's involved.

The numbers go down.

They're not going up.

Well, because remember the people started liking him on their own when he was a dastardly home invading heel and started cheering him and chanting for him and just carrying him out of the building on their shoulders.

And as soon as they went with that,

they beat him and made him look like a feckless puts.

For so long that I think now besides the cool thing, who's house Swerve's house?

You know, they'll do that if it's in front of them, but they don't want to spend a lot of money to go to Swerve's house.

Well, we go to quarter eight.

I remind you, we have an overrun.

9:45 to 10 p.m.

The Jamie Hayter promo into the Julia Hart video.

An ad break.

The beginning of FTR versus the House of Black with picture-in-picture ads.

597,000 viewers.

Ouch.

Nine-minute overrun.

Continuation of FTR versus House of Black.

Post-mash with private party.

567,000 viewers.

Well, and remember, I mentioned that they were at 10 o'clock, top of the hour.

They were in break, so they lost 30,000 people for the overrun.

So that negatively affected them rather than positively.

So they started at 775 and they ended up at 567, which is 28,000 viewers, but that's not as big a percentage as they usually lose.

So

this program would have to be deemed a rating success by their standards, just an artistic

abomination.

Well, there it is, the abomination known as dynamite.

And

we've been going a while.

So some of the things we were going to talk about today will get pushed to the experience.

We're going to talk about tomorrow.

Well, people don't understand how late in the day it is right now.

The moon.

Oh, it's late.

It's the moon of...

Do you hear that?

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night has to end his podcast when the moon is full and bright.

But like I said, we're going to have some of the things we were going to do here on the experience, including The Rock

and his GQ puff piece,

as well as

the Wrestling Observer newsletter Hall of Fame and Duckies.

Oh, this is this is hot off the press here.

This has just been announced.

We need to actually have time to

go over this ourselves and

examine

the state-of-the-art voting.

Well, we will get to all of that on the experience.

But like you said, this is my show.

Ladies and gentlemen, we ran longer than I thought we were going to because, you know, these hilarious shows get long reviews because it's all really funny.

How can you possibly convey what is going on on this program or ask people for help in trying to help them help us figure out what is going on without going into this detail because it's just it's non-stop

and again we'll have a lot more on the experience and of course i want to remind everyone the official jim cornet youtube channel all the clips the full episodes the omnibus collections and go through the archive at patreon.com slash cornet I feel like there was something else I was going to say.

Now I can't remember what it was.

Good night, Gracie.

No, it wasn't that yet.

The law office is Stephen P.

New, 87750 Steve.

Tell the people about Steve Jim.

Well, he's a guy that lives in West Virginia, and he likes to help people get justice wherever they live and wherever they can find it.

And we're not talking about the former governor of West Virginia, who he's kicked his ass.

We're talking about justice for the people.

Stephen P.

New at newlawoffice.com, 87750 Steve.

And of course, Cornett's collectibles at jimcornet.com.

Tell them about JimCornet.com.

Jim!

I already did at the first part of the program.

And if you've signed up for our email blast from the Feather Bottoms, you'll know what's going on.

So it's not our fault if you're not up to date.

JimCornet.com.

That's right.

And one last thing in terms of scheduling, we have received a new flood of questions, and we are going to get to them.

We're going to do some extra recording in the next few weeks.

to make sure we can get as many questions as possible on the show.

Once again, if you're a member of the official Facebook group, there'll be a new post at some point in the future, but we have a lot there.

And of course, corny drive-through at gmail.com to submit your questions or your music, preferably not AI, or any nude photos that you would like to forward.

Brian will keep all the guys and send me.

No, I will not keep all the guys.

No, give me a break.

I'll send you guys.

Well, we gotta, we gotta split the work up evenly.

It's not fair for me to make you do everything.

I'll keep the women.

You can take the guys.

You took all those Build-Undy photos.

You know what it's like.

Well,

he had a pillow over his putts.

Yeah, well,

let's get the putts out of here.

For Jim Cornette, I'm the great Brian last.

Tellyho.