MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY!!!

Hi, everyone.

Happy Friday.

Before I talk about a very important topic today, money,

I want to thank up-and-coming designer Ron Dice

from Brooklyn.

He is becoming very famous, very well known in the fashion world.

First of all, because his story is incredible.

He's an amazing man, self-made.

He works insanely hard.

His clothes are to die for beautiful.

His custom-made suits are amazing.

And he patented gold sole shoes, 24-karat gold sole shoes.

And they are just the ultimate to die for

shoes.

So I want to thank him with all my heart.

for sponsoring the episode, for believing in my work, for sending me a pair of this gorgeous, gorgeous shoes.

He's going to be doing his debut show this weekend on New York Fashion Week.

And he's just amazing.

So So if you guys love fashion as much as I do, check it out.

RonDice, D-Y-C-E dot com and on Instagram, official RonDice.

So today we are going to talk about money, which is a very delicate subject and it affects every relationship.

It's the number one cause of divorce in the United States.

I don't know if you guys know that.

And I always talk on my podcast on all the work I do about

women's financial independence, about women being independent.

So today I decided to bring a money expert to help us out.

And we're going to ask her questions and we're going to talk about all of it.

So let me introduce my guest.

Her name is Jen Hemphill.

Hi, Jen.

Hi, thank you for having me.

Thank you so much.

We appreciate having you here so much because like we were talking before when we met through the Latina Podcasters Network, I think money is such a huge deal when it comes to relationships, to marriage, to dating.

And we very rarely talk about it.

Like, even when I interview dating experts and everything, people talk about everything else, right?

Like how the person looks, where they live, la da da da.

But because money is such a delicate subject, we kind of dance around it.

But it's really important.

So hopefully, you're going to be able to help us all.

Well, hopefully, hopefully, I'm excited.

And of course, money is my favorite topic.

This is what I do.

And you're right.

It's very, very important

to talk about because it's a taboo subject.

I think over the years, a lot more people have been speaking about money, but it's still hard to talk about.

It's still hard to tackle.

And it's hard to just really wrap around, especially with, especially now with so many things going on economically and hardships.

So, yeah, I'm really excited to dive into

whatever questions you have.

I have 10 million as usual, so let's dive in.

But before, can you give a little bit of your background to my audience so they understand who you are?

You have a podcast which I love, I love the name, and I love your style.

It's called Her Diniera Matters.

For people that don't speak Spanish, Her Money Matters, and it matters.

And I will talk about my story and ask Jen questions about that as well.

But But how did you become a money expert?

Basically, the story goes with: I'm a military spouse.

So, with being a military spouse, we move around a lot.

And when I married my husband, I knew I wanted to have a career.

I wanted to have kids, or we both wanted to have kids.

I didn't force these things on him, by the way.

And those things were important to me.

But with being a military spouse,

there's a lot of moves.

So, having a career and I didn't know what that was gonna look like because we wouldn't you know we would move every couple years and

and after exploring a little bit okay what do I want to do even though I had gone to college I knew finances was something that I was interested in and then an opportunity to came about to

like a scholarship for becoming an accredited financial counselor and that's when the light bulb went off okay this is something I can do and take with me and don't I don't need to start over with every move.

Awesome.

So I decided to go for it.

Fortunately was accepted and then it was trying to figure out how am I going to do this because this was

you know before

well social media was around but not before really the online businesses or I'm sure there was online businesses but before the boom if you will where a lot of people a lot more people have online businesses now.

Yeah.

Okay.

Awesome.

So you obviously have a lot of experience talking about the topic.

So, let's start from the toughest.

I usually leave the toughest for last, but let's start with the toughest.

I,

all work that I do through my podcast, my posts on social media, my clothing line, everything that I do is always about women empowerment.

I am very open about saying that I despise sugar babies.

I think they do a disservice to women everywhere.

I think it's so, so crucial that we have our own money and that we are financially independent.

I was in a marriage for 14 years with a guy that had tons and tons and tons of money.

We'll talk about that a little later.

And he did not like me to work.

And sure enough, as the years went by, I lost my financial independence.

And I think it's a horrible mistake.

And I always tell girls, don't do that.

Even if you marry a millionaire, you should have your own money.

You should have your own goals.

You should have your own job.

So the first question is, I know I got criticized by what I'm saying, but that's how I feel.

I want to know your opinion, and I also want to know if there is a sugar baby out there.

I want to be a sugar baby.

You know, LA is a huge culture, unfortunately, of women, especially from other countries.

They come here and they're literally fishing around for a rich guy to pay their bills.

It's disgusting.

And you're shaking your head, yes.

So, dive in.

Tell me, what would you tell them, and what is your opinion about women being financially independent regardless of how much money their partners make

i so love this question

so so love this question because

one i agree with you we do need to be independent because here's the thing just because maybe we find a man or a partner that will take care of us financially that might not be forever who knows when that's going to be and having your own money having a way to get your own money and not

through this partner is more empowering because it gives you choices.

It gives you power.

It gives you the opportunity to maybe leave a bad relationship.

It gives you the opportunity to just do whatever the heck you want without someone telling, you know, really mandating what you do because they're giving you the money.

So there's...

Again, there's opportunity, there's power, there's choices, there's more choices.

And plus, if you are dependent on someone for their money, when it goes and you're not, you don't know how to manage it, let's say, or you just kind of decided they're taking care of it.

I'm not worrying about it.

Then if there is a loss because of a death or whatever, then not only do you have to grieve, but you have to figure out how to get yourself back on your feet and whatnot.

So I can't, you know, I agree with you.

Granted, there's nothing wrong with being spoiled, right?

That's a big difference.

I love it when I say that.

Yeah, right.

i love it when my husband spoils me that that is perfectly fine but you need to have your own money you need to i and even in our relationship he has some money that you know he has he has his own money in terms of you can call it allowance whatever you want to call it and he has money he can spend on whatever he wants and i don't question it i don't look at it it's none of my business and i have money that I can spend however I want he doesn't question it he doesn't get in my business with that because you do have to have independence right yes and so again there's nothing wrong with being spoiled but it is important and essential to to have your own money because again gives you choices it gives you power it just

there's so much to it 1 million percent i agree in my case okay i I had the work discipline.

I started working when I was four years old.

Like literally, my first memory being a kid is like being on a set of a TV commercial.

So I grew up thinking work is fun.

Work is like a huge part of my life.

I like it.

I like being productive.

So fast forward, when I met my husband, now he died, he was very wealthy, but I had a job.

I had my own money.

I had a career.

I had a lot of things going on.

I was making good money for a 22, 23-year-old.

But because he made so much more money,

he used to try to convince me that my money wasn't necessary.

you know.

And now, looking back, I know it was humiliating.

Like, he would use phrases such as, oh, whatever you make in a month, it takes me like a day to make it.

Why are you wasting your time?

And slowly but surely, as the years went by, in order to preserve the marriage, I ended up agreeing with him, agreeing with him, agreeing with him.

And I worked less and less and less and less to the point that 14 years later, when I finally got tired of it,

I barely had any career.

And I know it happens to a lot of women.

They decide, or their husbands decide, whoever decides, oh, I'm going to depend on this guy.

And like you said, if the relationship gets sour in any way, shape, or form, they feel trapped.

I hear stories like that all the time.

I get messages like that.

Oh, how did you rebuild?

How did you start?

Because I literally, and I will tell the rest of the story, but I literally lost everything

I had.

My home, my cars, my clothes, everything you guys can think of, I lost once he died.

So I'm like, okay, I'm going to rebuild from scratch.

My case, I think my work discipline is what saved me.

I rolled up my sleeves.

I'm like, great, I love to work.

That's the good news.

Let's go.

But a lot of women don't have that.

So what would you say for some woman out there listening, she's in an unhappy marriage, many times abusive marriage, desperate to get out?

Some of them have kids, but they're like, What am I gonna do?

How do I start?

Do you have any suggestions as a first step?

All right, so if someone is needing to get out of a relationship and maybe they don't

they're not managing the finances, they don't have access to financers or very limited access to finances, ask for help.

I and granted, and there might be

that might be scary maybe in in and i don't want to um

i'm not speaking from experience i can't speak from that experience but asking for help someone that you trust that you can confide in uh because and there's no because a lot from what i under from in interviewing people that have survived these relationships

uh really there is a shame and there's guilt.

There's a lot of that.

But

there's no reason to have that, right?

A lot of those things that have happened is

not your fault.

So it's just ask for help, start learning, and start seeing what you can do to really,

maybe if you are able to earn some money.

And there's so many different intricacies.

So

really asking for help is really that first.

But do you have any proactive ideas?

Like, let's say someone that like in my case has been married for 10 years 14 15 years whatever it is they don't have an updated resume because you know it's hard right to make money if you don't have an updated resume what would you say any ideas like what would be the first step to to start making money

so think about what you like to do And if you think, well, I don't have any skills that's in anything,

you do.

You do.

So think about things that you enjoy doing that you can earn money from, whether it's at a job, whether it's maybe on just your own, selling whatever services or something that you've made.

So think about something that you enjoy doing, right?

Or think about also, and even if you don't have an updated resume, maybe you've been volunteering.

Right.

Volunteering is, you know, with whatever organization, that is a skill set of its own so you can you can have that those volunteer what you whatever you volunteer what you did for volunteering you can add that to a resume so there's different ways of adding things to the resume from volunteering and again you can also think about what you enjoy doing that you're good at um and and really

find something with that, whether it's a job or whether it's making money on your own right yes i like that you said pick something that you enjoy doing

because

i know a lot of people in times of desperation

And I've hear that all the time, especially like now, right?

With COVID, everything that happened in the world, people get desperate.

In times of desperation, they're like, oh my God.

And they go after any job, even if it makes them miserable, anything.

I personally believe, yes, if you pick pick something that you really enjoy doing you are going to get much much better results even if you have to start from zero even if you have to start making very little money in the beginning i think it's a lot better to start with something that you're actually passionate about as opposed to getting a job just waiting for the paycheck at the end of the week.

Do you agree?

Right.

No, absolutely.

Because if you do something just, because I know, think about people that are their jobs and aren't happy with it.

So many.

people, so many.

That's a lot of people.

It's a lot of people.

It's not fun to be miserable.

No.

And it's not fun to be miserable.

And you thrive and do better, and you're apt to

really.

It's not

just the job, enjoying the job, but your quality of life after work.

You know, you come home and miserable, and you bring that home.

So, yes, it's definitely important to find something that you really enjoy.

And sometimes, maybe there, maybe you have to get a job, and there's maybe because money, whatever the case may be, and

just make sure it's temporary.

It might not be your ideal job.

Sometimes we are in situations

in that way, right?

So take that on, know that it's a temporary, or make sure that you remember this is temporary until something else

comes about.

But keep searching, keep searching.

I completely agree.

Never give up because, yes, I have done every job you can think of on the face of the earth.

I've done it, and there is no shame in my game i think it's a lot better to work and make your money than again go after men for money which unfortunately is a culture that i see and it breaks my heart i see growing every single day i think it's better to be a waitress a dog sitter door dash whatever the hell you have to do to make a few extra bucks than literally keep fishing around for men who are going to pay your bills i personally think it's a form of selling yourself out.

Right.

And plus, it's

you have something to bring to the table.

Yep.

And I think those who are looking for, as you say, for just sugar, that is, they don't believe in themselves.

Yeah.

Maybe they don't have that confidence.

What do I have to bring?

And you do.

You do absolutely do.

And you have to trust and believe that.

And I know you may not know me personally, but I believe that you have something to bring to the table.

You just have to search for that, what that is, and set that guilt or set that shame or set that

non-worthiness that you may feel aside.

Because everyone has something to bring to the table.

Everybody has something to bring of value.

I completely agree.

And when I hear these girls, because I hear it a lot, they say like, and because my male friends mention it as well, they will look at a guy like, well, I'm beautiful, I'm pretty, I'm

arm candy, he's gonna have great sex, he has to pay my bills.

And I think they need to do this shift in their head.

You cannot think that you're just because you're gonna have sex with someone or because you're beautiful,

they should be the financial support.

And then one day in the future, it's gonna disappear, right?

And then you're left with nothing.

What are you gonna do if you made a career of being dependent on a guy for like 10, 15, 20 years?

Then what?

Right,

right, absolutely.

I agree with you.

Yeah.

A thousand percent.

I know.

It drives me crazy when I hear girls that.

So, okay, now let's go back to people that do have jobs.

Women that, because we talked about women that didn't work for a while, like me.

But now there are a lot of girls that have jobs, that make money.

But again, their partners make a lot more money.

Unfortunately, it's still a big part of our reality that most men make more money than women, right?

Than their partners.

So I get this question all the time.

Like,

how do I catch up?

I feel like there is such a difference balance in power.

My husband makes whatever six figures and I'm making this.

And so he makes all the financial decisions for us.

He decides the house we're going to buy, the car, where we're going to live.

Is there any way to balance this power a little more?

Any suggestions?

Well, in those situations, and yes, typically women make less

than men.

And to answer that question, I think it goes to the roles in your relationship in terms of

what are you contributing to the relationship.

And maybe your partner is contributing more money.

That's fine.

But in terms of other things, so maybe you're managing the finances, right?

Or maybe you are making sure whatever financial goals you're after that you got you are

progressing or

it could be other things non-financial, but of course I'm thinking all things financial right now.

But it's really about what you both bring to that relationship and it doesn't have to be financial.

It doesn't have to be money necessarily.

It's what you're contributing to that relationship.

Maybe you are the person that that motivates and makes sure that your spouse keeps moving and is upbeat and really is a go-getter, right?

Maybe you are that source of inspiration.

So

it comes down to what roles and what contribution I think you bring to the table.

One opinion that I have, and I don't know if you agree or not, I always say, let's say there's a couple and the guy makes his money, the girl has her own paycheck.

Don't blend everything into one account like a lot of couples do.

I think you should still have your money separate.

Like, I think every girl should have her separate bank account.

Don't put all the money into the relationship.

Do you agree?

So, there's different ways of managing and every part, every relationship is different.

But I do agree, as I mentioned, my husband has his own money to spend and I have my own money to spend.

But we do have joint accounts.

So, it's about what works

for that relationship.

But I am adamant that you each need to have your own money because we're individuals.

We need that sense of independence, even though we are in a relationship.

We need that sense of independence.

So there's different ways.

If you join, have joint accounts, and then maybe some separate accounts where your money goes in, and you decide together, okay, out of my paycheck, I'm going to contribute this to the joint account where you pay the bills.

That's fine.

Or maybe you have separate accounts where you decide, I pay the rent, I pay the

utility bills.

Right.

Okay, perfect for my own accounts.

It's really about what works best for you.

But again, if you do have those joint accounts, you do have,

I am adamant that you have your own money.

Yes, I agree because honestly, that's kind of like what saved me.

Because like I said, during my marriage,

my husband made 90% of the money and he was very, very wealthy.

So, all our money was actually like his money.

You know, the little bit I had, yeah, okay, I would spend on my stuff.

But all our affairs were like in the same bank account.

Everything was like his power, his power, his power.

And like, this is why I like telling the story because I think everything in life is a lesson.

And I know a lot of women make the mistake that I made, especially when they're young.

They give all the power to the husband because they're in love.

And oh, my husband is taking care of me.

And a lot of men are type A personality that they want to take care of the woman.

Like my husband, he wanted me to stay home and he didn't want me to model, he didn't want me to act, he didn't want me to do anything.

And slowly but surely, he convinced me.

But in a way, I think it's a form of abuse.

If you try to control the person's every move and everything they spend, and you give them an allowance, and you give them a credit card, and you know where they are every single minute, it's a way of controlling them in order to stay in that relationship so now looking back and then when he died i had one bank account because my mom told me hey put some money away please get some of your allowance put some money away so thanks to my mom i had a little bit of money stashed away that helped me for two three months to figure out what the hell am I gonna do when I lost every single thing that I had.

And I think a lot of girls make this mistake.

But like you said, love fades, things change, right?

Situations change.

And it doesn't matter how much you love someone, you should always have a backup plan.

Do you agree?

Oh, yeah.

And plus, especially in relationships, and unfortunately, I've seen this

time and time again.

When we talk about wills, when we talk about those legal documents,

that, or even just like, let's say, retirement, where they have a place of like, if you pass away, where should this money go?

Those things are important.

And

if you don't know, if you're not on there,

it's not, you know, you're not covered, right?

And I don't, and so

it's important.

Yeah, I agree.

I mean, I just got sidetracked because there's so much to say here.

But

we really, it's about also relationship, relationships is about mutual respect.

And mutual respect includes your spouse respecting and what you want to do right because this is not you're not married to you're married to your spouse but you're not and you have a commitment but not just to your spouse but you also have to commit to yourself yeah and to your goals and to your aspirations and that just not only

That allows you to thrive and allows you to live a good quality of life, but it also allows you to be happy also, in your relationship.

Because if you're happy,

you're

happy because of what you're doing for yourself, you're also

contributing to being happy in the relationship.

So, really, mutual respect.

Yeah, no, I completely agree.

And this is why I openly talk about my story because I think we have to learn a lesson from everything and look back.

I tell girls, I tell women, I tell people that listen to my podcast all the time: don't make this mistake, don't be 100%

in somebody's hand, no matter how much you love them.

You need to be independent so you can stand on your own.

Absolutely.

Okay,

we're going to take a two-minute break.

When we come back, we are going to talk about wheels and a few questions that people send me when I said I was going to interview.

So stay right there.

We'll be right back.

One thing that I get asked a lot, and for those of you guys that listen to my episodes all the time, I have said that before.

I really believe the secret to having great skin is, of course, the basics: drinking a lot of water, never, ever, ever sleep with makeup on, all that good stuff, sunblock, etc.

But I found an organic, all-natural skincare line that I swear I fell in love with about three years ago.

So I highly recommend it because it is insanely powerful and good.

It's called Divas Never Age.

It is certified organic, all natural, vegan, cruelty-free, which is super important to me if you're an animal lover as much as I am.

PETA certified, and they basically have three products.

That's all you need for fabulous skin: an incredibly potent hyaluronic acid, the most powerful eye serum I've ever used in my entire life.

You put a little drop underneath your eyes, and it literally feels like you just got a facial, like you just got a little skin lift, and

a very, very strong, amazing, amazing vitamin C serum.

So, you use the divas trio serums, and I promise you, you're gonna see incredible results.

It's one of those things that it doesn't matter how people tell you, you gotta try it to believe it.

Check it out, Divas Never Age on Instagram, divasneverage.com.

And by the way, all the serums are 50% off now because I told them I would give them a big shout-out.

So, go check it out.

And with Valentine's Day around the corner, if you're looking for a gift, look no more.

Check out Simon G Jury.

They have the most amazing, gorgeous, precious, handcrafted jewelry pieces.

And not just multi-million dollar ones, you know, all price ranges, gorgeous, gorgeous stuff.

Check it out: Simongjury.com on Instagram.

Same thing, Simon G.

Jury.

Big shout out to Heart of Hollywood magazine.

Not only are they my supporters,

they let me write a blog there every Tuesday based on the podcast about sex, dating, and relationships.

It's a work of so many talented people.

I know how hard it is to put a magazine out.

My father used to be a publisher.

It's crazy expensive, crazy difficult.

And the editor and founder, Giovanna Salazar, does such an amazing job.

Guys, check it out.

There are all kinds of different blogs.

Each day, a different subject about Hollywood life, about events, about fashion, style, movies, you name it, they write about it.

It's super, super cool.

And we are actually having an event on February 23rd to celebrate the launch of the spring issue.

They put me on the cover.

I am very, very honored.

It was a beautiful photo shoot I did with a very, very, very talented photographer from Italy called Francesco Chiapeta.

So you guys can see the gorgeous photos on the digital issue, which is out now, heartofhollywoodmagazine.com.

We are going to be celebrating on the 23rd the magazine launch.

We're going to be celebrating my birthday, which is coming in March, but we're going to be celebrating on the 23rd with a very special VIP party here in LA.

So if you're in the area, DM me, because although it's guests only, I will be picking a few lucky few.

to be invited and be on the list so if you want to participate send us a message send me a message on Instagram, Katzamuro,

send me an email, reach out, and I'll let you know whoever is picked.

Okay, we're talking,

we're back here with Jen Hemphill.

She's a money expert from the podcast, Her De Niro Matters, and we are talking about De Niro because, let's be honest, it's important, we need it, it pays our bills, it gives us a happy, healthy, safe life.

And

so many women make the mistake that i am openly and honestly admitting i made they become completely dependent on their partners and i beg you out there if you're listening to me don't make this mistake and i know jen you mentioned about having a will so i have to talk about that for a minute because yes i agree everybody should have a will

however and we did have a will

made by some of the most expensive attorneys money could buy because my husband had a ton of money.

And it still was not enforced.

It's a very long story, but I have to tell you guys, it does happen.

Not all the laws in the United States work.

Not all the courts are going to listen to you.

It can be a shit show.

And like my attorneys used to say, people kill for money, especially when there is a lot of money involved.

They will do anything for money.

Like many times you see in the movies, right?

You see in real life, in crime podcasts.

People do anything for money.

And in my case, sure enough, I lost everything and the courts did nothing to help me despite the fact that we spent over $40,000 creating a will.

So I agree with you that people should have a will, but

to me, the first and foremost thing is have your money or your assets, whatever it is that you have, separate, period.

Even if it's a little bit of a nas tag, don't keep everything together.

You're shaking your head, kind of, yes.

Do you agree, or do you think I'm being too radical?

No, no, no, absolutely.

And I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience because you thought you had some protection.

Yes, yes.

And but, but it didn't help you.

So, yes, definitely

keep your bank account, diversify where you keep the money and just make sure it's just in your name, obviously, because this is about you.

Yes.

Absolutely.

I was kind of like, and I think a lot of immigrants are like me, like I was.

You know, we immigrate to the United States and we think, well, this is the country where the laws work, where the laws protect us.

I wish you guys could see her face.

She's like,

no,

I was the most naive.

You know, I love the United States.

And, you know, I became an American citizen when I was very young.

And I thought, okay, nothing can go wrong.

We have a will, we have documents in court, the courts are wonderful.

I used to watch those, those TV shows, you know, with the card.

So I was totally, I believed all the laws protected me, protected my money.

And now I know a lot of crime goes unpunished, especially like money crimes, because

Let's be honest, prosecutors work by priority.

So they will go after violent crimes before they go after forged documents, forged signatures, or anything else that people might do to you.

Like, even, you know, when somebody steals our credit card number, right?

What is the first thing that they tell you?

Whatever, cancel the credit card, la la la.

But nobody's going to go to jail in general, right?

Yeah, it's very hard, like

identity theft, and those it's very hard like to get out of.

So it's very, it's very important to protect yourself because I've known stories where people, their identity got stolen and years later and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars later, they're still trying to navigate.

Oh my god.

Yeah, it's a total nightmare.

So in summary, it's a mean, bad, horrible world out there.

So if you have money stashed away or if you work really hard for your money, if you're building a career, I don't care how much you love who you meet.

And like you said, I like that you mentioned that.

It's mutual respect.

If the person loves you and respects you back, as opposed to trying to control you, like it was my case with my husband, they will be proud of you that you are independent and they will be proud of you that you want to have your own money, correct?

Right.

And in

my view, I think a partnership,

we should be, and this is how when my husband and I, and not that our marriage is all perfect, but when my husband and I got together, one of the things that was important to us as that is that we lift each other up right that we motivate each other that we push each other to do better each time and i think that's important i mean and i i really am proud of that and i and i that's why i'm biased and i think that's really important yeah to have in a relationship oh my god yeah 1 million percent i agree and i always say that like for my next partner and i tell anybody that i date what i do how much i love working how i started from scratch how I've been rebuilding the past few years, and I will not even entertain being with somebody that would not be 100% supportive.

I completely agree with you.

This is like crucial.

Yeah, and I said,

from the get-go, I said, this is what you can expect from me because I was brought up with a mother that was

still to this day, I would say, offenous to some extent.

So I was brought up in a household that was not the traditional.

The mom stayed at home and cooked.

My mom had a career.

And actually my mom made more than my dad, right?

My dad cooked.

He cleaned.

And it was like a partnership.

So I told my husband before we got married, I was like, okay, don't expect me to be

cooking and cleaning all around you because you got to help.

I love it.

I actually think, believe it or not, just from doing the podcast for so many years, talking to hundreds of people, I think nowadays, most men, of course, the exceptions, but most men, especially high-value men, they want a partner who is being productive, who is independent, who is making money.

I don't see any man saying, oh, yeah, I want like this Barbie sitting by the pool, drinking champagne, this useless bitch.

I don't care how pretty they are.

All my male friends, they say the same thing.

Maybe they will date the girl for sex, whatever, for arm candy, but they don't respect them.

All these guys want to have a partner who is kicking ass who is working and making money and and doing productive work like we are

right and i think for someone to value you you have to value yourself yes right i'm gonna clap

yourself and i think

People that are women, I know you said you've spoken with a lot of women that are looking for the sugar daddies.

And

for those of you that are in that position I'm not here judging you I just want to challenge you to ask yourself do you value yourself

and if you don't

start working on valuing yourself when you value yourself you're going to be valued you're going to be respected more and the relationships are going to be better oh my god 1 million percent and again like you said we don't know them so we i can't we cannot judge anyone right but i hear this phrase all the time they think i am beautiful this is my asset pay for it and i absolutely don't understand it you know oh i'm nice pay for it I look good near you, pay for it.

I'm a woman, I'm a girl, pay for it.

And I really don't understand this concept.

Like you said, it's probably something, I don't know if it's in their upbringing, if it's in their culture.

But even if a guy gives you a gift, like you said, there's a huge difference between being spoiled, like someone giving you things because they want to give you things because they like you and making them pay for everything that you need because you just think i'm pretty i deserve it

right you can be pretty and beautiful and also be valued for sure yes we are proof of that right

we are beautiful and smart and and and hardworking and we make our own money and we still deserve to be spoiled

now i want to ask you something that i always say and and please, if you disagree with me, go for it, okay?

Because I know it's controversial, and most people disagree with me.

A few people agree, so I want to know your opinion.

Like when everything happened to me, and I went from having millions of dollars, living at the Four C's, having a mansion in Beverly Hills, la la la la, to starting from zero, which I'm not embarrassed to say because I never stole anything in my life.

I work for every penny I have.

So I'm starting from scratch.

I, you know, I drive a more simple car.

I live in a cute apartment, but much smaller, la la la la la.

So when I moved back to Beverly Hills after Anthony died and we're in Florida three years ago, I decided I'm gonna move back to Beverly Hills.

You're gonna hear in a minute where I'm going with this.

Because it feels like home.

This is where I grew up.

This is where my friends are.

It's good for my business.

I'm gonna settle down here.

So I found the best possible place that I could afford and I work like a maniac to afford my bills seven days a week, 15, 20 hours a day, no kidding.

Haven't had a vacation yet.

But guess what?

I like it and I'm proud of me.

And a key word that you used in the beginning: it's empowering.

The more you make money, the more you see results, the more you want to build.

This is the question.

So, when I made this move, a few of my friends, and I use the word friends with caution and quotes, they said to me, What the hell is wrong with you?

Why are you gonna move to Beverly Hills?

Go all the way to the valley because it's so much cheaper.

Take the bus, sell the car.

What's your problem?

I have a few purses left.

Like I had just a few little things

that were with me.

And the same thing, my friends, like, well, you're not in a position to use this purse.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Sell the bag.

So most people, when you are in a financial difficulty, you're going through a hard time.

The first instinct is cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Like move to a cheaper neighborhood, sell your car, take the bus, sell everything and anything cute or valuable you have, cut Starbucks, cut Netflix, cut, cut, cut, cut.

And I heard a lot of financial experts give the same advice.

My opinion is no.

Because if you cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, before you know it, that's the parameter.

That's the life you gave for yourself.

And that's how most people die, frustrated, sad, and depressed because they forgot about their dreams.

I set standards for me, and I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to pay this many bills, period.

So, my opinion is: don't cut, cut, cut.

Make more, more, more, more.

Go for, you know, work harder, harder, harder, harder.

And I get really criticized for saying that.

So, I want your honest, expert opinion.

I love this.

Love this.

Number one, here's what I see just from hearing you: you had clarity on what you wanted, and you had belief, right?

And some people, for some people, I think they may have to cut.

Everybody's situation is uniquely different.

So there might be some people that do need to do that cut, cut, cut, but

making sure that it's temporary, right?

That that cut, cut, cut phase is for a reason.

They need to be strategic.

I do, because whatever reason, it deems it, right?

So for those people, and again, it depends on the situation, there might need to be a cut phase if you will but a phase this is not permanent keyword this is key word phase this is not permanent just like in the physical fitness space where or especially in the health world we're thinking we always have to lose weight well that the weight the fat loss phase is it's a phase it shouldn't be forever and we get stuck in like trying to cut calories forever all right so that's number one so it depends on what that person's or that

unique situation is.

Number two, number two, you meant, like I mentioned, you had clarity, you have motivation, and you had also belief, as I mentioned.

And so

that allowed you to set, kind of know what you want, and then work backwards from there because you knew exactly what you wanted, which allowed you, okay, if I'm going to do this, all this, A, B, and C, I'm going to need this amount of money.

And to get this amount of money a month or whatever, this is what I need to do.

And I love that.

And more people should do that.

Yeah.

And may I, am I a big fan of, I'm not that person.

I'm not that financial expert that's going to tell you, don't go out and to the coffee shop, right?

I'm not that.

I'm about

really being strategic.

Well, one, you may have to have a cut phase depending on your situation, but two, you can also work around and splurge here and and there because again,

you need to have a good quality of life and be happy.

You're not here to just work and pay the bills.

You're here to work and enjoy life.

Like when we go, we can't take it with us, right?

So it's that, it's really knowing what you're needing,

being strategic.

So hopefully that answers the question.

No, it does.

And I agree.

Yes, of course.

I cut myself on a lot of things that I can't afford anymore.

Obviously, like I said, I don't take vacations, you know, I don't go to five-star hotels, you know, I don't do like fancy massages every week.

But I'm talking about like the bait because I see and I see experts saying that on TV.

Like you said, oh, cut the Starbucks, it's like 20 bucks a week.

Cut the Netflix, cut.

So before I know it, so many people are like frustrated, like you were saying, the nine to five job.

I get my paycheck on Friday.

I am miserable and I'm like, oh, thank God, it's Friday because I hate my life Monday through Friday and then the weekend and then you do nothing and before you know it that's it you see yourself living in a place that you don't love a neighborhood that you don't like a job that you hate and then you become this bitter unhappy person and it happens to millions and millions of people I know not everybody's motivated But is there anything you would say if somebody's out there in this situation listening to us?

And I get these messages all the time.

They see my Instagram oh it's easy for you.

Oh, you're rich.

Oh, you're pretty.

And I'm like, yeah, sure.

They don't know anything.

They just

believe what they want to believe.

We work really, really, really, really hard to get to any point.

But if somebody's out there feeling stuck and they're like, okay, I'm going to listen to these chicks.

I'm going to be more motivated.

Any tips?

Yeah, well,

you need to have an understanding of where your money is going.

So you need to understand what money is coming in and what money is coming out.

And people don't take time to do that because they fear not seeing any money.

They fear like maybe they're in the negative.

They fear that they're overspending.

So you need to have that clarity of your money.

And you have to establish, okay,

what is going on with your money?

Is it too much spending or maybe it is an income problem, meaning you need more income?

Because I've worked with tons of people with their budgets.

And

really, a majority of the time, it wasn't that they were spending so much.

They just needed to have more income.

And you're right, the news outlets don't talk about that.

Because really,

I don't say who watches the news.

I guess a lot of people watch the news, but who they're speaking to is,

I don't know if mainstream.

American person with a certain limited income, right?

And we have that mentality.

and I'm thinking it's shifting,

especially in the past several years where it's fine to make more money.

It's okay.

You know, there's the side hustles and the Uber and Eats and all that stuff.

Yes, there is always a little something right out there.

Right.

So you really need to one, have clarity as to what's coming in and one going out and really assess, okay, am I really, really spending too much?

Or is it really more of an income issue where I really need to earn more money?

Yeah, and I will say something, and I know it's it's I don't want to be harsh, but I think it's the truth.

You, nobody's gonna get rich or have a better lifestyle working nine-to-five, you are never going to.

You need to go the extra, extra, extra, extra mile.

I know not everybody's an entrepreneur, I know a lot of people are very afraid of having their own business, of course, because it's crazy risky.

But even if you don't want to do that, but you, if you want to have a little bit of a better lifestyle, you need to do something extra, right?

An a side project, like you said, do something from home, start a side gig, work on the weekends.

You have to do a little more.

No, absolutely.

Because with a job, you're building someone else's business.

Yeah.

In a sense, you're helping to build, and it is a limited, depending on how the transition is of promotions, or maybe you're on this level promotion that you're not going to make really more.

But with entrepreneurship, and granted, not everybody's made for entrepreneurship.

So, maybe you can have a job and then do a side hustle, something that you really enjoy doing.

But, entrepreneurship, there's no income cap, right?

It's limitless, it's really up to you.

Is it hard?

Yeah, absolutely.

Are there days that I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing here?

I have them, but there are other days I'm like, oh my gosh, what is this?

Is this my life, right?

So, it is an entrepreneur, it's like a roller coaster ride for sure.

It really is but i think

most people die frustrated because they didn't give it a shot so i think it's always better to give it a try and go after your dreams and i know there is that very radical phrase all over social media for those of you guys that that read social media that says your job is a drug they give you to make you forgive your dreams dreams did you ever see that phrase I haven't, but that's so funny.

I personally agree because like you said, you're making the boss rich and they're giving a paycheck, go home and shut up.

They don't want any trouble.

You do the job.

No, no, no.

So maybe if you let that sink in, you're like, okay, I'm going to keep this job because I need to pay the basic bills.

But maybe instead of sitting in front of the couch drinking beer and eating potato chips, I'm going to go and start blah, blah, blah, whatever it is that I love doing.

And many, many

hugely successful multi-million billion-dollar companies came about from side hustles.

Right.

And I have seen multiple people, especially in the past few years.

I mean, the pandemic really did something.

I mean, it took away a lot of lives, unfortunately, but it also really,

a lot of entrepreneurs have come out of the pandemic, and I have seen people quit their jobs and have thriving businesses.

I'm talking about multi-six-figure businesses.

and it's it's unreal and it is it is possible you just have to have that belief and I say that belief and confidence because

women we tend to lack a lot of that we tend because of whatever our upbringing or an experience that we had or a relationship we have that really knocks down that beliefs those beliefs that we had before or the dreams i know you mentioned stuff about dreaming and so yeah you have to you have to have those things and you have this you know, you have this opportunity here with Kat, with this podcast.

That if you're feeling down, if you're not having that belief,

she's a firecracker.

She will get you.

She will get you belief.

Hey, listen, many days, obviously, I'm a human being.

Many days I feel down.

I feel discouraged.

Like you said, we're like, what the hell am I doing?

Am I going crazy here?

I take so many risks every single day, but at least I feel very fulfilled and empowered.

And funny enough, this is one thing that I never said it out loud before.

When everything got taken away from me, right?

And when I lost everything, again, friends, quote unquote, my closest friends said, Oh my God, I would have jumped off the balcony if somebody did that to me.

Oh my God, what are you going to do now?

How do you

go from being a millionaire to having nothing?

Believe it or not, those people did me a huge favor because they reminded me how much I love to work and produce as crazy as it sounds.

And I know some people there are going to listen, like, oh, this woman is crazy.

Who the hell?

Of course, I don't think I deserved to lose everything that I worked for.

But my point is, like you said in the beginning, making money, making your own money and being successful on your own is so empowering.

You have to do it to understand it because nobody can take that away from you.

No, like a wheel, yeah, somebody, believe it or not,

they can fuck you.

Pardon my French, Jen.

But if you make your own money and you have a name and you have clients and you have a business and you have a successful, whatever it is that you do, and you have your money in the bank, nobody can take that away from you until you die.

And that's insanely empowering.

It is.

It is.

I agree with you.

I love it.

I love all these questions that you've asked.

Thank you.

You're amazing.

Can you tell people where?

Because I read your book and I loved it.

it i think it was sweet it's intelligent it's empowering it's filled with great information it's called her money matters can you tell people where they find it i highly recommend you guys read it yeah you can find it uh

on amazon i know anywhere on online on online like walmart target all that stuff sometimes they have it sometimes i know they don't but definitely on amazon amazon her money matters last question before i let you go tax season is coming up a lot of people freak out but a lot of people get the famous refund and they're like oh great i'm gonna go shopping at target and blow it on stuff that i don't need what is your opinion as an expert what should people do with the famous tax refund stash it away go for it and spend it

Well, it depends on what your goals are.

You know, what are you working on?

Are you working on paying off some debt?

Are you working on saving for a trip?

Or it really is, what are your priorities right now?

But I also challenge you to think, just remember, and I'm not saying this is what you should do, but remember, a tax refund is essentially you overpaid in taxes.

So when you overpay in taxes, if you're on a ninth job, I encourage you, and I'm not a tax professional, so you need to consult a tax professional.

You need to change

how much they're taking out of your paycheck.

So that does two things.

One, you're not going to get a refund necessarily.

You're just, I'm not going to say you're not.

It depends on that.

That's what happened that year, that tax year, but it's going to give you more money in your paycheck, right?

So talk to someone and say, this is how much I've paid in taxes.

This is what I filled out in the W-4, I believe, form, and

see what you can do to change it.

So you can, because essentially you're giving the government a zero percent loan.

You're not charging

any interest.

Jen, you're amazing.

Thank you so much.

And your podcast, Her Money, Her De Niro Matters.

Her Money Matters.

You do new episodes every Thursdays, right?

That's right.

Incredible.

You're fantastic.

And I'm going to leave you guys with another phrase that I learned a while ago and I absolutely love it.

If you're struggling out there in your darkest, darkest days, I don't know if you ever heard this one, Jen, but I think you're gonna like it.

Remember this phrase: I never forget it.

That's what keeps me going when I'm having a bad day: feed the solutions, do not feed the problems.

So, like, if you're on a money pit, if you sit down thinking, Oh, I don't have money, I don't have money, I don't have money,

the problem grows.

Instead, keep thinking, What are the solutions, the solutions, the solutions?

And all of a sudden, before you know it, a bunch of solutions grow.

Yeah,

absolutely, because it's about asking those questions.

When you ask a question and explore and get curious, you'll get solutions.

You'll get something.

You're amazing.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for empowering women to be financially independent.

You are amazing, and I'm very grateful and very honored that you're here.

Thank you.

And I'll see you guys very soon.

Go make some money, girls.

Go make some money.

Before I let you guys go, reminding you that now with all the awards events coming up, Super Bowl weekend, this weekend, then we have Oscars, then we have Conn Film Festival, all kinds of good stuff coming up.

If you are interested in getting access to all the parties, events,

exclusive reservations, then in November, there is the very talked-about Formula One Grand Prix in Las Vegas for the first time.

Anyways, if you always wondered how do I get access to all of these places,

reach out to Prix VLA.

Private LA is a luxury concierge service.

They are amazing.

They are super well connected and they get you in.

So send them a message: Privé, P-R-I-V-E-E-L-A.