MANIFEST, MANIFEST, MANIFEST!!!!

Hi, gorgeous people.

Before I let you guys listen to this amazing, fabulous episode, a quick reminder: New York Fashion Week 2023 is about to start.

And if you guys love fashion as much as I do, you have the opportunity to experience a fashion show in person.

Usually, they're crazy, crazy hard to get in, unless you work in the industry or you are a VIP guest.

But there is one up-and-coming designer, his name is Ron Dice.

He's becoming very famous, very quickly in the fashion world and a huge, huge darling of the fashion magazines all over the world because he has this patented gold sole leather shoes.

Literally, there is 24 karat gold on the soles of his shoes and they're to die for gorgeous.

Anyways, Ron Dice is having his debut collection on February 12th during New York Fashion Week in Brooklyn.

And he is opening up his fashion show for a very selected number of people that can actually get a hold of tickets.

If you guys are in the New York area and you really want to see a fantastic fashion show in person for yourselves, this is your chance.

Go get your tickets at Rondice DYC, Rondice.com or his Instagram, official Rondice.

They're almost completely sold out.

They're going to be a ton of celebrities, a lot of media, a lot of press, and a fantastic fashion show.

So, hurry up before they got sold out, and I will see you guys there.

Hey, everyone.

So, today I'm going to talk about something that I do love talking about it, and then I never talked about it on the podcast because I found this lady, she's a specialist in the topic manifestation.

Let me introduce her, and then I'm going to explain where we're going to go with this.

Her name is Nicole.

Tell me if I'm pronouncing it right because it's so chic.

It's Nicole Rose or Nicole Rose Stillings.

Hi, Nicole.

So, no, it's like Stillings is too long.

So, it's like, I kind of just go by Nicole Rosé.

I love it.

I like the fine wine.

It's so stage-like wine, right?

Exactly.

So, Nicole Rosé, you are a multi-talented young lady.

I was looking through your stuff, and I'm like, wow, you've already done a TED talk.

So, you're a TED speaker.

You have your own podcast.

We're going to talk about that as well called Big Queen Energy.

I love it.

I was listening to you last night.

You are a coach.

You developed an app about manifestation called the Manifest manifest mindset and you're a specialist in manifestation correct yeah can we just do this every morning by the way like can i just set you on my alarm and just hump myself up every morning well first of all congratulations you're like major major overachiever obviously because you're very young

i think it's just uh good skincare routines and thank you so much i'm 36.

So I started building my own process for manifestation at 25.

So we're on 11 years.

And And it was only a couple years ago that I realized, well, damn, this works to manifest a multiple six-figure business, a TV show, a celebrity mentor, all the things that I ever wanted, partnerships with Google, Amex, just like, if I could set my mind to it and tune my vibration to it, I could get it.

And then I decided it was time to teach other women.

Yeah.

So let's rewind a little bit because I never talked about manifestation on my podcast, but this is the deal.

A few years ago, and I started the podcast three years ago it started because you know i i left a very complicated marriage i was married to an alcoholic for a long time blah blah blah and moving forward and my life turned upside down i literally had to start my life over from scratch and i started the podcast very organically talking about how do we date how do we find a relationship how do you start over how do you make money all over again and that's when

People used to say that to me, you gotta manifest, you gotta manifest, you gotta money.

And in the beginning, I was like, what the fuck are these people talking about?

I don't believe in it.

I always believed in energy, but I didn't really understand the power of manifestation.

I thought, being completely, completely honest, like I was, I thought it was complete baloney.

And then one day, I was like, Yeah, really.

Then one day, and you're in Miami, by the way, and I was living in Miami three years ago when I started a podcast.

As I was walking, and maybe you know the area, South Point Park, there in Miami Beach, every morning with my dog.

I ran there this morning.

There you go.

So we lived right there.

You got the manifestation.

Yeah, so I was like, you know what?

I'm going to try this manifestation thing.

And I literally started looking at the universe and just going nuts, like manifesting it out loud and listening to how celebrities do it and how other people do it.

And all of a sudden, as crazy as it is, I felt a huge shift in energy in my life.

So I'm like, okay, this is serious.

I want to investigate.

And that's when I became, yeah, and that's when I became a huge believer in manifestation.

And if funny enough, I never even thought about talking about it on the podcast.

But then when my friend, my client Tyra, told me, you got to talk to this chick.

And I started like listening to your podcast and looking at your posts, I'm like, okay, let's share this knowledge because I know there are a lot of people out there, number one, that don't believe it, or maybe number two, that might believe it like me, but never tried it.

So the first question.

Right, they don't know where to start.

Exactly.

So the first question to you, people out there listening, like, okay, maybe I'll listen to this chicks.

What would be the first step like you convince somebody that this is really, really real and it really, really works?

Okay, so great question.

I want to dial it back one notch, right?

So just for in case anybody's actually brand new to manifestation, what is it?

Right.

In its most simple form, it's that our thoughts.

create things.

A lot of people say our thoughts create reality.

There's also

some discord about that in our field because really we're talking about co-creating with source, with the universe, with God, whatever your belief system is.

But in general, in its simplest form, it's thoughts create things and thoughts are vibration.

And our vibration is what builds the world that we see every single day.

And so, my personal definition that I teach all of the women that have worked in my program in the manifest mindset is just that manifestation is just a daily habit.

It's a process of taking things that you want to feel, experience, own,

have from your minds, and bringing it into your 3D physical reality.

And

the same process isn't going to work for you for every single thing you want to manifest.

Yes.

So I am very good at manifesting purpose.

career, money, abundance of a different nature, right?

Of friendships and sunshine and just lots of feel-good vibes.

Manifesting a relationship is a different process for me than how I manifest career.

Obviously for me too, but I still think,

yeah, I'm still single, you know, after these three years,

I still think dating is like, oh my God, a shit show.

And we're going to talk about that in a little bit.

But

nevertheless, I manifest like I'm going to be surrounded by amazing people.

I'm going to date amazing men.

A lot of great people are attracted to me.

Believe it or not,

regardless of whether it works or not, that's the kind of people I start

meeting.

Oh, so that works.

So

yeah, it works.

So the people that never did it, I know.

And I know a lot of people are jaded.

A lot of people listen to us.

They're like, no, these chicks are cray cray.

Can you give them like the first steps?

Like, how do you do it?

Like, just for somebody that never even tried it.

Yeah.

So it's,

it's what you're saying is a great segue into this.

Pick something small so that you can build your belief around the process.

Okay.

So maybe you just, you know, literally on Saturday night, I was with my guy friends.

We had gone to dinner at the Serve Club and then we were going by either Soho or Faina.

And I was like, I'm going to manifest a parking spot next block parking spot, right?

Just, it's a Saturday night in Miami, cat.

You know, that's, they're not, I am a dozen in Miami on Saturday.

And where most people need to Uber.

So just start with little small things.

Play it like it's a game with yourself, right?

You're just playing a game with yourself and the universe and pick small things and then you can build up.

But ultimately, what you want to do is what you're doing, Kat, where you're intending.

Yeah.

You are raising your vibration and intending for it to manifest.

the thing that's most important to you.

And so what I tell people when they, let's say you've already done that.

So the listeners already, you know tried testing it and they kind of believe it works like some things are better at than others there's a lot of reasons why right we all we have different belief systems and different levels of resistance towards different goals so some things are going to be really easy i have clients that in week one manifest a couple thousand dollars because they don't have a ton of resistance with money right right you know and then i've had clients get engaged by week seven wow amazing they didn't have a ton of resistance around that one of them was willing to lay it all down she'd been dating somebody and she was ready to end it.

And he just showed up with a ring, right?

I mean, that's the shift of the energy.

But my point is, it's just noticing we all have an area of our life that's not going as well as other areas.

So that's where I recommend you start looking.

And you start getting really in touch with what thoughts you're thinking.

Yes.

That's going to leave clues.

Yeah, I think in general, and you tell me if you agree with me or not, and that's when like the shift in my life happened.

I believe in energy.

and I do believe the energy that you put out there in the world is what comes back to you.

And unfortunately, most people, when they face like difficult problems, they're focusing on the problems as opposed to focusing on the solutions.

I heard this phrase, and I don't honestly don't remember who said that to me.

If it was my mom or my grandma, a long time ago, somebody said that to me, you always should feed the solutions instead of feeding the problems.

Because if you feed the problem, the problem is going to grow.

If you feed the solutions, the solution is going to grow.

And I think, in general, most people, like if you're going through a breakup, or like even if you said if you need money, like if you're in a really tough financial situation,

most people think, fuck, how am I going to pay this bill?

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, instead of focusing, okay, what can I do to make more money?

Or how can I make more money?

How can I be more successful?

And I think a lot of the manifestation you have to figure out how to shift your mindset into thinking about positive solutions.

Do you agree?

1,000%.

I love that you were taught that as a young woman.

That's really special.

You're very fortunate because that's literally, we're taught, we're programmed, especially as women, the opposite way.

Yes.

Right.

Because as women, we're the most powerful creators.

When we get intentional and deliberate in our thinking and using our emotions to predict what we're manifesting and syncing up with source, our intuition, women are more powerful than men.

Yes.

That's the truth, right?

so we're oftentimes we're programmed in ways that don't serve us and it takes this deprogramming but you didn't have to deal with that um so yeah it is most of the time people are what you focus on grows right is another way of saying it and most of the time when someone shows up on my doorstep we realize that in whatever area of their life that's most important for them to work on so they can realize that goal or that dream they have, it usually comes down to thoughts and beliefs that they have about that thing.

And those are sometimes sometimes very deep-rooted and it's creating resistance, and that's what's separating them from making progress towards the goal.

Yeah, 1 million percent.

So, like you said, you have clients, they come to you, and I love this phrase that you use as well.

You focus on the negative, the negative is going to grow.

You focus on the positive, the power is going to grow.

But a lot of people, and last year, in the beginning of last year, I was dating a doctor.

I'll give you that as an example.

He was like my perfect match.

By the way, never date doctors.

I'm sorry.

Well, okay, that's a whole other episode.

But anyway, we were really great together, like the perfect match, the same lifestyle.

We love the same things, the same restaurants, great conversation.

He was highly intelligent, which is major important to me.

La la la la la.

Yeah, but after a few dates, he was going through some major issues with the divorce and the kids and everything.

I said that to him.

I said, you need to manifest.

You need to believe in positive energy.

You need to believe in positive outcomes.

And he kicked and screamed and yelled at me on the phone.

Like, I don't want to hear that.

You know, do you think the judges give a fuck?

The universe, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And he was so naive, and that created like a huge stress between us.

But he was, he did not want to believe in that shift.

Like, I don't believe it, period.

I think the world is a lot tougher than just shifting the energy in your mind.

So, let's say you had a client like that.

He comes to you with a big problem, and he tells you, I'm negative.

I don't believe in this bullshit.

I don't think the world is fair.

I don't want to, how do you convince somebody like that that they can that there is a change, that it's possible to change the way you think?

So you know what's funny, yeah?

Because vibration is the law that governs the universe, right?

The law of attraction and the law of vibration.

And obviously there's other ones, but those are some of the most important.

I don't attract.

non-believers.

So by the time someone shows up on my doorstep, they've done some of the inner work.

They've done some of the thought work.

They have,

maybe they might be a beginner in implementation, but they already understand conceptually what it is.

And they're looking for someone.

They might still have negative beliefs, but they know that they need to shift them by the time they come to me.

Does that make sense?

They're not

throwing the temper tantrum like the guy you were dating was because he's just not ready.

Right.

No, I think he was.

Yeah.

And that's the major reason why I stopped dating him because I realized he was so negative, so negative.

Like everything for the guy.

And yeah, some problems are very serious.

Of course, I agree.

We all have to deal with certain very serious issues.

But to me, it's all about how you look at the problems and how you deal with them.

And I decided in my life, I don't want to have anybody negative around me.

I've been through it.

I was dated.

I was married to a raging alcoholic for 14 years.

And it didn't matter how many millions of dollars of dollars he had in the bank.

He always found something negative to complain and drink.

So I decided, like if you're this negative crazy person i don't want to have you around me but i do know that some people like that they just don't believe that it has anything to do with energy it has anything to do with the universe but what would you say to someone like that or you wouldn't you wouldn't even say anything so no i i would look

This is the thing when you become a coach.

I didn't do, I was always a coach before.

I was a coach, you know, like if you're that person who's giving your friends advice, right?

You guys who are listening know who you are.

So that was always me from day one.

And I should probably mention both my parents are brain doctors.

So I've been in this world my entire life.

I love giving advice, helping people understand how their thoughts are creating the world they're living in.

The fact of the matter is that

people

aren't ready to take responsibility for the outcomes, the manifestations, whatever we want to call it.

It just doesn't matter.

They're not ready to take responsibility for the life that they're living until they're ready.

And like, I can't force him to be ready sooner.

You couldn't force him to be ready sooner.

And the way that our brain works, there's actually neuroscience behind this.

So there's a part of your brain called the RAS, the reticular activating system.

And the RAS's job is just to go take your beliefs and filter your life to match it.

So you're living this life, but the RAS is showing you the parts of your life that match your belief systems.

So I'll give you a light example.

It's like, let's say that I'm like, I want to manifest a white Tesla.

You're going to see it everywhere, right?

Like we've all thought about that bag that we wanted or that new car that we wanted.

And then, like, you just start, your friend has it.

You're seeing this person drive it.

It's like, you see it every day.

Yeah.

That's your brain filtering that out to you.

So, if someone thinks that their life is terrible, that they're the unluckiest person on the earth, the opposite of lucky girl syndrome, if they think that everyone's against them, if they think the courts are against them, whatever it is, their brain is going to find confirmation of that.

And then they're going to sink lower.

So instead of rising higher, that's not going to happen because your vibration is on trend with your thoughts.

If your thoughts are trending, once you get negative confirmation, people spiral, right?

And sometimes it takes a big wake-up call.

People call that an energy spiral.

And then people show up on my doorstep.

I totally agree.

I think a big part of manifesting is, like you said, you have to believe it.

You have to believe it, right?

Because I know, like, when I started doing this manifestation exercises, and I do it out loud in the middle of the street in the morning, I don't care.

Yeah, a lot of people look at me like, what are you doing?

I do it all the time.

Everything for me is a reason to manifest.

And

my life opens doors, and wonderful things happen to me because I decided I believe, you know,

whatever it is that my destiny is.

But I was saying, Some people, they want to try it and they're like, okay, I'll give it a try.

And they say something out loud, but they don't believe it deep inside.

Have you had clients like that?

They're like, okay, I'll try it.

So there's, there's a lot of things involved with that.

Part of one of the weeks in my, in my digital course and in my group program is looking at the limiting beliefs you have and creating affirmations, custom affirmations that will really awaken your soul, right?

Speak to your own belief set, not what mine is, because mine are really different than yours.

And it's actually funny, even in doing this podcast, You know, part of manifesting is just being more self-aware on, you know, what's going on with you, right?

And I actually realized it's for me, I'm curious what you're focusing on.

And I'm guessing it's a relationship, finding that next love of your life.

And I want that for you too.

For me, it's been on scaling this, you know, it's not a new business, but it's not an old business, right?

We're only a couple years in, so that's still

a startup baby, if you will.

Um, and so everything's been focused on that.

But I, I was like, oh, I love that you're affirming that you're going to meet amazing people every day.

I'm like,

that is a wonderful one.

And it's

right now.

I meet everybody.

Yes.

To write that down.

I like that for all of us.

Yeah, I'm kind of like you.

I'm like, my focus is on my business and growing my projects.

The podcast is insanely,

it's growing so fast.

It's on the top 1% most shared podcast in the world.

Like, we're really excited.

I know we're super excited about.

I am the only Brazilian in the entire United States doing a successful podcast in English.

So all of these things mean a lot to me.

So I'm with you.

Like my focus is work, work, work, boss bitches.

We are.

Yes, 1 million percent.

But yes, I want to have a relationship.

I'm not desperate or anything.

I'm very gun shy about it.

But yeah, I'm like manifesting that as well.

And that's another question.

We can manifest as many things as we want.

Right.

Right?

We don't have to focus on just one thing.

So, okay.

So, first of all, I think that just to properly answer your last question, then let's jump into focus and we can have a bit of a conversation around the subconscious that helps, you know, it's kind of, I call it the genie, your genie in a bottle.

And I think you probably heard I just did a podcast episode on that on Big Queen Energy.

But the

You, we only achieve what we believe.

And so that's what I help people do is figure out how to rework their beliefs.

And so part of goal setting, goal setting is a tricky thing for most people because they, once again, you've been programmed to do it a certain way and then it doesn't work.

And then you feel disappointed, shame, guilt, all these negative emotions around it.

And then you honestly don't even feel like doing it again.

So maybe you even have a few years where you don't set goals, right?

And then you're just, you know, taking whatever comes.

And so that's not, that's not deliberate creation either, right?

That's not being an intentional manifestor either.

So it's really just.

When you're picking something to manifest, when you're setting goals, it's picking things that you can believe or that are close enough to your sphere of belief that you can just repeat it to yourself enough, take some action towards it, and start increasing your believability, right?

If you, if like, there's two factors that influence manifestation: it's your desirability and your believability, right?

So, the desire is just how much you want it.

Let's say it's a soulmate that we're talking about, right?

Because it's a show about love and dating.

So,

if you want to manifest a soulmate and that desirability is a 10, let's say maybe right now, your believability is a five, but you're committing to going on the dating apps for 30 minutes a day.

You're committed to, you know, sitting in a happy hour with a girlfriend one night a week and striking up conversation with a stranger, whoever it may be.

You're committed to working out every day and being this version of your best self who would naturally magnetize that partner to them, then your desirability is going to increase.

So it'll be a six, right?

And then as you keep going, you'll get more inspired action.

You'll learn more things that will help you.

You'll feel more confident.

You'll hit a seven.

you'll hit an eight, and boom, right?

I love that you're saying that.

And I think that's really important because

we have to manifest, but we also have to put in the work.

Right?

Exactly.

Because I know a lot of people, I get messages every week, every week.

People look at our social media, whatever, which is the platform of where we present our projects.

And they think that it's easy.

Like, oh, they manifest and voila.

And I always tell people, it is so much work like anything you do in life right like you said you go to the gym you cannot manifest oh i want to have a great body and that's it you need to manifest but you need to put your plan into action correct exactly yep exactly and and you asked about focus too

over our lifetime is incredibly long, right, as humans.

And by the way, we're all energy.

And so we have more lives than we know about.

We have more experiences.

We have so much time.

We have an infinite amount of time to activate on our purpose once we know what that divine, you know, soulful purpose and connection is.

But the point is, is that

when we give our subconscious brain too many things to focus on, it can create this state of kind of modern ADHD, right?

And a lot of people, technology is wired against us.

We're all busier than we've ever been.

Yes.

We know this is real.

And so I don't advise that clients focus on 25 goals.

You know, there's a lot of coaches out there that say there's these seven or eight main areas of your life, pick five to ten goals.

That's a lot, right?

Yeah, that can be overwhelming.

It can be overwhelming.

Overwhelming your nervous system.

Yeah.

I like people to pick, you know, three to five goals in a few different areas of life and make real progress.

And then let's check in in six months.

Yeah, no, I love that.

Yeah.

I think trying to fix everything at once can be overwhelming to anyone.

And I don't think anybody has a perfect life, but I love that approach.

Like like maybe you pick something that is really important to you like for me i said is my career my project and a great relationship and then maybe third is whatever else that i don't even know what it is but i like focusing on what's like priority to you like for sure i like that plan i think career and dating by the way i mean those are both quite a lot like we know and i can especially in your dating episode which is amazing if people haven't listened they should listen because I thought it was super valuable.

I think that dating takes energy.

Building a business takes energy.

Yes.

So it's managing your own level of energy so that you still have enough to fill up your own cup because you don't want to be going approaching any of these big goals in your life from a low energy vibration.

That's not going to attract the outcomes, create the outcomes that you want.

Yeah, no, I totally agree.

So let's talk a little bit about energy.

Do you have any tips?

Like you said, because a lot of people might listen and they say, well, what are you girls talking about, man?

You fast every day.

Tell what I want.

Make a plan.

For a lot of people that never did it, it may sound like it's a lot.

And it can be energy draining.

Like, for example, for me,

you know, constantly, constantly, constantly trying to go on dates and dating apps,

drains my energy.

So I don't do it.

I'm super picky.

I do it every once in a while.

So that works for me.

I pace it.

Like, instead of looking at those dating apps, like,

every once in a while, when I'm in the mood, I'll look.

If I talk to someone, great.

But I don't mind going one month, two months, three months without going on a date if it's not a high-quality person.

So, for me, that's what the way I save my energy.

Do you have any tips like for people that want to try to manifest, for people that want to try everything that we're talking about?

So, you said something super important there.

So, I just want to highlight it because I think you're a natural manifester, Kat.

I can already read that about you.

that you know.

Oh, I just learned a few years ago, like I said.

Well, but I think, I think some of your family programmed some things in you that have supported your practice of building your dream life.

Right.

And so that's amazing because some people's parents, you know, some people didn't have parents or their parents were very negative, right?

Or

whatever.

So what you said was when I'm in the mood.

And so what is so important about that is you are talking about the energy.

You felt like it.

You were in a good feeling place.

And so then you went on a dating app.

And when you go on, when you approach anything in your life from that space of feeling good, we're much more likely to get a good result.

Yeah.

But like imagine this, Kat.

I'm sure we've all done this.

Like any girl who's ever been on a date has done this.

I actually gave a talk at DVF last week in New York and

everyone laughed.

So I know that everybody's had this experience, but Imagine that you're getting ready for a date and you know what?

The guy wasn't exactly your vibe, but you said yes anyway.

And it's just, you're kind of dreading it.

You don't feel like getting ready.

Like you're late.

You like rush to the Uber, like you get there.

And it's just like,

it's obviously a mediocre time.

Why?

Because you knew it was going to be.

You set the intention before you arrived.

Yeah, because you decide in your mind it's already going to suck.

It's going to suck.

And it's going to suck.

Exactly.

Then it's going to suck.

And so, once again, that's our brain fulfilling on whatever we tell ourselves.

And so, if it works for you to be using dating apps infrequently and doing, I would just find some other way to feel like you're staying in a momentum with it.

Right.

And so only you know, like I always say this, it's like we're the researchers in our own manifestation practice.

We have to test and tweak.

And if something doesn't work, then you have to try something else.

So maybe you've realized that you prefer like going to sit at a happy hour, even by yourself, because I'm sure people would talk to you.

You're stunning, right?

So maybe you've, or maybe you found something else.

Maybe you meditate on the beach in a group on Saturday morning and there's cool people there.

Like,

you know what I mean?

So it's just if, if you're not, if the dating app thing isn't flowing naturally for you, use it when you feel like it and find something else so that you can stay in the momentum.

Because you don't want to totally fall out and then not believe that it's going to happen.

No, totally.

And I agree with you.

I think the most important thing, and I say women, because it's most women, men, not so much.

Most women, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves all the time.

If you're single, like, I got a friend to my God, I have friends that they're desperate, and I always say that on my podcast,

I think it's a horrible idea to be desperate about anything.

Even if you're that I even when manifesting, I think there's a big difference between manifesting with willpower and manifesting with desperation.

Because I don't think desperation brings good results.

And I think there I don't know how, but there should be a way for girls to take the pressure off of things they want to accomplish and maybe they would come a little more naturally to them do you agree

1000% so what you're talking about I just call this I need this energy versus I want this energy right like when we need something

other people can feel that yeah you know if we're acting needy towards a guy he's gonna retract yes he's gonna go into his cave his man cave and do his things with his boys and we're not gonna hear from him as much and then we're gonna be like what's wrong and we're it's gonna be a whole thing, right?

Exactly.

You're laughing because it's like, we've all had this experience.

So, like, life is a series of experiences.

We learn the hard way.

But when it's in, I want this energy.

Like, that's why, actually, in my dating life, this is something I've been practicing the last couple of years.

Is I like to date a couple of nice guys at one time.

You're busy.

Guess what?

I'm busy, right?

It's like, I don't need you.

Right.

I have an array of amazing men that all have different are fulfilling different wants of mine.

And I'm just enjoying myself.

And men can feel it when we are confident, when we are enjoying ourselves, when we are loving our lives.

And that's why, too, you know, having a career for a lot of us is actually important because I am my most confident self.

When I am happy and fulfilled my career, it's less about money and more about the connection and the focus that I feel every day.

Me too, 1 million percent.

And that's another thing that I talk about all the time.

I cannot stand these girls that are looking for like like sugar daddies, men to pay their bills.

I'm like, you do a disservice to women all over the world.

You know, get a freaking job, get a career, get something going because a high-quality man will appreciate it.

They will like that you have something going on.

But before I ask you more questions, we're going to take a two-minute break.

Believe it or not, we already talked for half an hour.

There is so much more because your life is so rich.

I want to talk a little bit about your TED Talk.

I want to talk about your podcast.

And

I know you were in The Apprentice

with Bethany.

So, of course, we want to know how she is in real life.

But, okay, hold your thought.

We'll be right back.

This is a super fun Cat on the Lose manifesting amazing, wonderful things for all of us.

We'll be right back.

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Okay, we're back with Nicole.

So much to talk about and so little time.

So let's just rush into it.

you you did a ted talk that's incredible because you're super young can you tell us a little bit about it yes so it's a tedx talk yeah um and it was in dallas

and it's not live yet or else i would love to send you the link but i will share it when it is live congratulations by the way because that's like the major major goals major goals congratulations that's incredible Thank you so much.

The honest truth is that it's a manifestation of mine.

I'll tell you how it came about since we are talking about manifestation.

The topic was on transforming anxiety into positive energy,

right?

Because a lot of times, you know, we get nervous about something, we worry about something,

and kind of how to use a visualization technique of mine that I teach to shift the energy so that you have a better outcome.

And I learned this technique filming TV, and I know we're going to get there.

So

I'll save that.

Two years ago, I put

in my vision board, it just came to me that I hadn't really been consciously thinking about wanting to give a TED or a TEDx, but it was something that I put in my vision board that year.

It wasn't even on like my goals list or anything.

I just added it to my vision board and I looked at it every day for 365 days.

Wow.

It didn't come that following year.

I think I have like a two-year lag on my vision board, maybe more for some stuff.

And then it showed up, but it wasn't an accident.

I felt ready to hire a coach to help me craft a perfect talk, to help me learn how to become a perfect candidate.

Right.

And then I did, I spent like on probably half the year, so call it six months on Sunday afternoon.

I spent like three to four hours a day on working on my talk, on sending out applications, on, you know, rewriting my bio and filming little videos, right?

So

people could get a feel for what I would talk about.

So once again, it's that, yes, I had the thoughts.

I believe that I could do it.

I visualized myself up there on stage.

I looked at this vision board, but I took action.

Yes.

But I love that you're saying that.

You have to believe you can do it.

I know most people doubt themselves.

They have these dreams in their mind and they're like, oh, but you know, it's just a dream.

It's unachievable.

It's unattainable.

And most people die frustrated, right?

They get a nine-to-five job, la la la, and they just dream, dream, dream.

I think in order to make dreams become reality, you have to, like you said, you see yourself on that stage.

You're like, you know, I can be there.

I can do anything I put my mind into.

How do you convince people to believe in themselves?

Do you have any tricks?

So

the believability scale, the desirability versus believability scale is something that's helpful, right?

Just knowing that it's a process.

Like the first moment that I put that on my vision board, I didn't.

believe that I was ready for it.

Do you get what I'm saying?

Like it was something I wanted, but I certainly didn't didn't feel ready.

But then a year from making that vision board, I hired a coach.

And then nine months later, I delivered a talk.

Right.

So it's a, it was a slow process.

And I took actions that led me up the scale of believing that I could.

Yeah.

Right.

And so, first of all, it's not just setting this goal and then not doing anything to move towards it because then you won't believe you can do it, but also setting goals that are authentic to you.

So asking yourself, is this a goal from my heart?

Or is this a goal from my ego?

Is this a goal that my mom or my boyfriend or husband or sister wants for me?

Or is this a goal that feels really in alignment with the person that I am?

Yeah, you have to do it for yourself.

Exactly.

I completely agree.

You have to do it for yourself.

But I just think, like you said, take the first step.

Even if it's the hardest thing in the world, like let's say lose weight.

A lot of people want to have these great bodies, but they're like, oh my God, just take the very first step because the more you do it, the more you get used to doing it, right?

Exactly.

So, well,

the more you, when you start, you get more clarity about what to do next.

So, you know, it's like, I think sometimes people don't start working on these goals because they don't know what to do, but it's like, just pick something, yeah.

Just dip your toe in the water, and you'll get more guidance.

That's how it works.

You get information.

And when we sit without taking action,

we get even more fear.

Yeah, right.

The fear builds up and it blocks us from then wanting to take action.

So it's just jump in, just be comfortable in the discomfort because growth requires that we get outside of our comfort zone.

That's really the definition.

If you want to stay in your comfort zone for the rest of your life, yes, you're going to be frustrated.

You're not going to reach your goals.

But

let me ask you if you agree.

I interviewed Tracy Tudor last week, which is a woman that I admire hugely.

I don't know if you know her.

She's on the Bravos TV show Million Dollar Listing.

She's a crazy successful real estate agent in LA.

She's a best-selling author.

And I just think she's like this kick-ass chick.

I really love her.

And she mentioned something, and I agree with her.

And I don't mean to be harsh, but I think it's the truth.

Some people have it in them: the hunger, the drive, the energy to accomplish certain things, and some people just don't.

And I'm not sure you can teach somebody that doesn't

how to go after their goals.

Do you agree or not?

I think

in my experience, I can only speak from my experience.

I've coached hundreds, if not thousands, right, at this point.

And if you want to include a lot of the big talks I've given,

but even one-on-one, I've worked with hundreds of women.

So I can speak from their experience.

When I help people connect to their purpose, the divine reason for being, right?

The reason that they were put on this planet, it unlocks energy and passion that they never felt before.

Okay.

So I think it's a matter of connecting to your purpose, and then you have access to more drive, more resources, more creativity.

I agree.

More guidance from spirit and from source.

Yeah.

Does that make sense?

All humans, I mean, the human potential is infinite.

We live in an infinite universe.

No, I totally agree.

I like your point of view, view, and I totally agree.

But I guess I think that,

and that's how Tracy thinks, and that's how I think some people are more wired to be more like ambitious and

get themselves out of the comfort zone and just go for it.

And some people are more just like, you know, I'm not even going to try it.

I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless.

You know, I was shaking before I went up to give that TEDx talk.

Like, I just did it anyway.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, I'm just used to

doing shit that up-levels me.

Yeah, me too.

I actually love it.

Yeah.

I am the girl that will jump off a cliff.

You know, I am that girl.

Like, I'm going to go.

Like, if you tell me, let's ski, I go from the

highest mountain.

If you tell me, let's skydive, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm the first one.

And I, in a way, it's very good, but of course, there's the negative about it because many times I don't think about the consequences, but I just go for it.

I guess I don't don't even think too much.

Like, if somebody gives me an opportunity, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it.

Because I guess I decided life is really short.

In my case, and I tell people that, and I know it's a little morbid, but I lost my mom all of a sudden, like a few years ago, just before I lost my husband.

She died very suddenly.

She was very young, and she died like two days before, after Mother's Day.

And I don't think there's anything more traumatic than seeing your mother die all of a sudden.

And I think that shifted my mindset.

Like, I think it made me realize how short and fragile life is.

So, usually, what I tell people through my podcast and my work and everything is like, don't overthink too much because a lot of people think 10 years from now, 15 years from now, la la la la.

And I think, like, just fucking do it because you know, you have one life, one opportunity,

whatever it is that you want to do.

If it's a job, if it's a career, if it's losing weight, if it's telling your dates how you feel, you know, living in another city, just go for it because at least you're gonna say, you know, I tried it.

And I think that's the silver lining that I get from my experiences.

I'm hoping that it gives, and I do get messages sometimes from the podcast, girls all over the world.

They say, wow, thank you.

I actually tried something that I wouldn't have tried from listening to your story.

So I feel like if I'm inspiring people to try new things and like you, like, just be brave and just fucking do it.

If you do it, you're going to feel so empowered that you did it.

exactly exactly i had a really intense week last week i was in new york where i you know lived for 12 years and i had i had to go to court for something from like five years ago but it just it is what it is we're almost done i had to i we launched my group masterminds which is the first mastermind i've ever launched because i've just been teaching my flagship program for the last two years and then i had I gave a talk at TBF that I hadn't written.

I have this bad habit of rewriting talks like on the plane to them.

This is just a thing that I do, right?

You got to know yourself so you can manage yourself.

Um, and on the plane right back on Thursday to Miami, I was like,

like, I was nervous flying out because I was like, How the hell am I going to do all this?

But just coming back and being like, She did it all.

Like, you, you know, you, your belief in yourself increases, your confidence increases.

So, every time we do something hard, we build ourselves up, even if we don't crush it at everything, right?

Right, you still feel better because you learn something.

One of my, so I'm a coach, but I also have coaches.

That's part of me growing, right?

My business coach, right now,

he always says he's like, anytime you go after a goal, you're either going to get what you want, you're going to get the lesson you need.

Yeah, and I think failing is a part of it.

Like, you know, you have to fail and make mistakes and make mistakes and make mistakes to grow a business or to grow your craft, even in dating, even in personal relationships.

Because if we tell people, like, oh, everything is perfect all the time, that is such bullshit, right?

I think failing is a huge part of growth.

I 1,000% agree without failing.

And I just try not to label it that,

but without going for it and getting the lessons that we need, we won't ever get to the end goal.

And I also wanted to say my heart goes out to you with losing your mother.

I lost my father in my 20s.

And so I know from personal experience, it wasn't sudden.

That was the one thing I was actually grateful for because I I was like, well, I had warning, you know, so I got to really change my attitude.

And

I think, forgive.

Like I said, the silver lining about loss is that I think you look at life with different eyes, you know, and I hope people out there listening, even if you didn't lose anyone, remember that you might and you might lose your own life.

Like there is no guarantees, you know, especially in this crazy, chaotic world.

So just live your life, like do anything that you want to do today, right?

Say whatever you want to say.

Like you said, I love mood boards.

I love drawing, writing down.

You know, it makes you see, like you said, envision your talk, envision your goals.

Just freaking go for it.

I love it.

Let me ask you about The Apprentice.

When I saw that you did The Apprentice with Bethany Franco, because for people that don't, I don't watch TV, honestly, rarely, but I know about the shows and everything.

I try to keep in tune because of my business.

But The Apprentice was a show many, many years ago on NBC, first with Donald Trump.

And he basically was a group of people, right?

And you go through a bunch of tasks, la la la, and then they pick The Apprentice.

But let's not talk about the Donald Trump one.

Then they revamped it and they did The Apprentice with Bethany Franco, who is whether or not you think she's a bitch or annoying, whatever, she's a self-made millionaire.

She worked her fucking ass off for everything she has.

She has an insanely

amount of value, And I would love to interview her.

Can you tell us about the show and how you got there?

Yeah, so the act, the remake of The Apprentice was called The Big Shot with Bethany.

So it's now on HBO Max for anybody who's like bored and looking for something to a quick binge.

It's fun.

It's really cool.

Yeah.

It's really cool.

And so they have reached out to me.

I mean, they have reached out to me through Instagram and email.

And at the time, I was busy.

I was building, you know, my own show and working on building out my coaching program.

It was the very beginning of the pandemic.

And I was like, you know what?

Fine, I'll get on the phone with them, you know, and it just, it kind of, I don't, I really wasn't, you know, it was one of those

manifestations that I had wanted like seven years ago.

And it just came, it was, there was a delay, right?

It was, it ended up being the right show because it had girl boss vibes.

And I got to work with Bethany.

And like you said, she is a self-made millionaire.

She has multiple brands.

She's brilliant.

One thing that I really, really,

I was doing it, but she hammered this into me was using my intuition in business.

A lot of times, as a business owner, you have to make decisions quickly.

There's four people that work for me.

I have clients that are very high-level CEOs, SVPs at banks, right?

And they need help with things quickly at these seven in the morning calls.

And

so, going with intuition is an incredible skill that I started developing, you know, working with her because I saw her doing it.

And I was like, this person who's made so much money does that.

Then why am I not doing it?

But take us back to the show.

Yeah, 1 million percent.

So, take us back to the show.

They pick you.

You go there.

It was like a group of women and men or just women.

There were a couple guys, but it was mostly

women.

And then, so basically, she's coaching you guys and giving you a series of tasks to decide who will be her apprentice.

So, she was looking for her next VP of operations.

So, that was a specific title that she was interviewing for.

So, every single day was a different task where she could learn more about us.

Like, would we be a good fit for that rule or not?

So, it was things like throwing an event, it was things like doing an entire branded photo shoot for one of her companies.

It was things like building an entire website in a day.

Okay, so

for people that never watched the show, this is for real.

It was a reality show, and she literally wanted to hire somebody for real in real life to be the VP of her company, correct?

Yes.

Wow.

So you're doing all these things.

And then as you're doing it, she decides who stays and who leaves.

Yeah, so after every single competition, there's an elimination round.

And the people who are at the bottom, you know, whose work was the rank the lowest, or maybe that she just doesn't like or for whatever reason,

they go into the elimination round.

And I was on the topping blog multiple times and I don't want to give away much more than that, but boy, was it a riveting couple of months for you?

It really helped me up-level my own mindset.

And I learned to put my own mindset practices, my own

manifestation practices to the test to see if I could really keep calm under so much pressure, right?

Pressure.

It's one thing to be working for your own company.

It's another thing to have a major celebrity who's pretty intense and 20 cameras in your face, along with other people who are competing against you.

And Kat, I'm sure you've had this situation where there have been some girls that didn't necessarily like you.

Oh, hello,

like every day.

Exactly.

So you and I are in the same boat.

You know what I'm saying?

So it was a lot to manage.

It was a complex dynamic.

And once again, I left feeling, you know, proud of myself.

It wasn't, the goal wasn't like, I think the point in life is not to have achieving the goal, like the end goal, it's to enjoy the journey and what you learn along the way.

I would guess you finished fourth, correct?

So you went almost to the end, but I would guess, regardless, it must have been an incredible experience for you, like you said, to learn about business, about growth, about pressure,

about all of these things, right?

Exactly, yeah.

And just you know, managing all the different personalities and working with the production team, it's complicated.

I had never done anything of that nature, like to that extent before.

And how was it working with her?

Is she like crazy tough like that?

Like she seems to be on TV and on her Instagram.

Does she give you, did she give you any like major pointers about how she got, where she got that you remember?

Well, with Bethany, what you see is what you get.

Like, she's very authentic.

So, you got to appreciate that about somebody that they just are who they are, like in real life or when the cameras are around.

Like, she's consistent.

But, yeah, I mean, look, it's tough love with her.

She's funny, though, too.

She's got a sense of humor.

You kind of like what keeps it exciting being around her is that you're not sure which, like, what you're going to get.

And so, she keeps you on your toes.

And

she has high expectations, but it made me want to do well.

You know, it someone like me, that motivates me.

And I don't, for other people, that might have made them like excessively nervous.

I don't know.

For me, I just, I excel under pressure.

If you've seen

that all weekend.

Yeah, I do too.

I do too.

I think one of my faults is that I tend to procrastinate.

Now I'm like trying to kill that.

But so if I'm under pressure, if I know something needs to get done, I actually perform better.

Like last minute things, la la la.

Probably because I, like I said, I procrastinate a little bit, but I do love people that tell you like it is.

This is one of the things that I admire about her.

I used to watch the little that I watch TV is usually somebody that I admire because I want to learn from them.

And way when the Real Housewife show started, I don't know if you even watched it, she was broke.

She was broke.

She was literally physically going all over town, try to sell her cookies, try to make people believe in in her.

And that struck a chord with me because a lot of us entrepreneurs think, oh, you know, all these things fell on her lap.

Oh, it's because she's pretty.

Oh, it's very easy to do what she does.

I get that a lot.

I don't know if you get that.

But people think that it's like overnight success and they don't see the grind because we don't show the grind on social media because nobody wants to see the grind.

Everybody wants to see the final gorgeous result.

But the truth is...

The grind photos don't get any likes.

Exactly.

Like the endless nights without sleeping, sleeping, the begging, the pleading, the emails, you know, going after people, the 10 million no's that I get.

You probably get no's as well.

Sure.

Clients that get pissed, clients that get upset.

Like it's a mixed bag of shit if you want to be an entrepreneur.

And I loved that she showed that on the show, all the steps, like driving around and begging and on and on, to the point that, okay, fantastic.

Now she succeeded.

But I love that when people show the real side, because I think it's important for everyone out there.

We're talking about women because we're women entrepreneurs to see that it's not like all roses and flowers, right?

You got to put in a ton of work to get where you want to be.

So

one comment I have on that, though, is that it's a brilliant story arc for the producers, right?

Andy Cohen is a smart cookie.

I love her.

However, Bethany is absolutely hardworking, committed.

She doesn't get discouraged.

And guess what?

She doesn't take no for an answer.

So I'm similar to her in that sense, where I know that when I was on her team, you can't go to Bethany and be like, there's no way to do this.

Cause she's going to be like, come back.

Don't talk to me until you figured it out.

Yeah.

And I literally treat people like that, but I always have been that way.

Her and I, it's like we had certain things that are different about us.

At the end of the day, they said that they picked me because they thought that they saw a lot of her and me because we have a similar attitude about just our level of commitment to stuff and our level of we're going to get this shit done, right?

That's an attitude.

And anyone, by the way you asked about like how people are wired anyone can start adopting that attitude i've even told people on my team you know i don't want to hear that it can't be done i want to hear the ideas that you're going to test because those ones didn't work so what's next love it it can always be figured out right so i love that you're saying that because hopefully some people out there listening to us they're feeling discouraged because we all do right sometimes some days we have we feel like superwoman and some days we feel like getting the superwoman cape and and hiding under the blankets with it right you know that analogy but i know a lot of women out there get discouraged and they feel like oh i cannot do it but yeah if you put your mind to it your mindset you can you can accomplish anything but i think the key is like work around the no's and work around the negativity and work around the people that say you can't right

Right, work yourself into a positive space, work yourself into the highest vibration you can

first thing in the morning because life happens during the day.

But if you start here at the very top, then you can't fall that far off the throne, right?

So actually what I do, I have a workshop coming up on February 8th.

If this is live before that, thank you for joining me too.

Yes, thank you.

Please, please, you're so insanely inspiring.

I want to participate for sure.

Oh, thank you, love.

Well,

I'll send you the link and you're welcome to drop that.

You know, if your listeners would be interested in, I'll send it for you to join.

It's, it's an hour-long workshop where we build the vision of the best future version of yourself, the person who's already has that one goal, right?

That one or two goals that you're focusing on this year.

And so that you can tangibly see what aspects of your own identity you have to shift to embody that woman because we have to be it before we can have it.

And so I help you guys build that blueprint.

And that's what the manifest mindset, my company, does it get a mindset wired wired for the day and first thing in the morning I freaking love it and I did I never saw you on video before this is the first time but I was I saw I loved your energy on on your videos on Instagram on your social media but now I almost feel like we're in the same room because you have such positive strong energy and I love that because usually people say that about me that I have great energy and I try to pass that on as much as I possibly can because I believe in energy coming and going and you just have this phenomenal energy that inspires people.

Obviously, you're doing what you were born to do.

Oh, thank you so much.

You're literally going to make me tear.

I'm an empath, so that's like.

So we attracted each other.

Listen, I cry like for, I cry when I'm happy.

I cry when people cry.

I cry when I get great guests.

I cry all the freaking time.

No kidding.

I cry when I like get a spiritual download or

something.

It's like a signal for me that I know that's real.

But thank you so much.

And once again, it's a consistent practice.

Yes.

Right.

And you do it too.

You have the things.

You say positive affirmations to yourself.

So do I.

I have my whole mindset tutor that I read every morning.

I meditate every day.

I work out every day.

All of those things, by the time I sit at my desk.

I'm radiating good energy.

And guess what?

It's contagious.

It's contagious.

It's COVID.

It's contagious.

Let's call.

It's so much better to have the whole world with contagious positive energy, like you said, than horrible viruses and negativity and crap.

Let's just spread the word and girls, women, and men.

I know I have a lot of men listeners.

I don't want them to

feel that I'm leaving them out, but yeah, believe in yourself and wake up in the morning.

And I don't think there's one specific manifestation that you have to do.

I think you can say anything you want to the universe and back and believe in yourself.

I do this crazy shit like I look at myself in the mirror, like I love me.

She's going like this positive with her thumbs.

I love me.

You're great.

You're fabulous.

You're delicious.

You're gorgeous.

Go out there and kick ass.

I do that to myself all the freaking time.

And I think everybody should do that.

Like, you need to love yourself and believe in yourself for the world to believe in you.

Kat, when I do that before dates, guys are like, I don't know.

I might not even be wearing something that sexy, but they're like, they can feel it, right?

They can feel it.

Cap talk in the mirror before your dates, right?

Before you leave the house, it will shift.

I date.

love it.

We're gonna have to do a whole other episode about dating in Miami because I know honestly, I think it's one of the toughest places in the United States to date.

As it is, Miami, yeah, Miami is a shit show.

Like we were talking a little bit before we started the podcast because a lot of transients, tourists, blah blah blah blah blah.

But you know what?

LA is the same.

New York is probably the same.

I think it's more like about being picky and hanging in there, never giving up on finding love.

This is what I say: no matter how many times you have a failed relationship, no matter how many times people do something crappy to you, you just keep powering through and moving forward because I believe the right person is out there trying to find us.

Yes, yeah.

And

if you believe in fate, if you believe in God or some spiritual source, if you believe in destiny, if you believe in manifestation, then you believe in love.

Yes, there you go.

And you're amazing.

And you have the most beautiful smile.

I was listening to your podcast last night, by the way.

You guys should check it out because it's adorable.

It's called Big Queen Energy.

I love the name Big Queen.

And you explain.

And the episodes are short and sweet and very, very inspiring.

You're amazing.

Oh, so are you, my dear?

This was so much fun.

And I'm always down to chat a romance and manifesting your soulmate.

Keep me posted.

1 million percent.

We got to get together in person and then we'll do another episode either here or in New York or in Miami.

We definitely got to figure out and get together.

Thank you.

I will be in LA in the summer and I will be calling you.

There you go.

Congratulations on all your success.

I know we're going to hear more about it.

And her Insta, guys, if you want to check out her work, is Nicole Rose

Stillings.

Rose is like a spelling like Rose.

Nicole Rose Stillings, Stillings with double L on Insta.

And you have a website.

Anything else you want to share?

Nope, that's good.

I mean, if they want to come to the workshop, I'll give you the link.

It'll be in the show notes.

I'll definitely put it on my Instagram,

but

it's also the top link in my bio.

Okay, so they can find everything about you on your Insta.

Nicole Rosé Stillings.

Thank you.

It was an enormous pleasure having you here.

Thank you so much.

Today is Tuesday.

We wish you guys the most amazing week out there.

And please manifest your fantastic life.

It can happen, right?

Many kisses.

And before I let you guys go, I invite you to check out Heart of Hollywood magazine.

It's a fantastic magazine with a lot of insider information, events, super, super cool blogs about fashion, about lifestyle, about the Hollywood industry, a lot of pointers about the acting world, very, very rich, great content.

And I do a blog there every Tuesdays that is, of course, about sex, dating, and relationships.

It's a lot of fun.

Every single day, there's a different blog there about different subjects.

So I encourage you guys to check it out.

Heartofhollywood magazine.com.

You can read the digital issue, and they do print the magazine super high quality, high quality,

fabulous stuff.

If you want to get your issue, you can order one now on heartofhollywood magazine.com.