Side Stories: Christmas Crimes

What if you could turn your curiosity for true crime into a degree?

At Southern New Hampshire University, you can.

Southern New Hampshire University offers over 200 degrees you can earn completely online,

including subjects like forensic psychology, criminology, and crime analysis.

And with low online tuition, Southern New Hampshire University makes earning your degree

affordable, flexible, and achievable.

Find your degree at snhu.edu slash last podcast.

That's snhu.edu slash last podcast.

There's no place to escape to.

This is the last podcast.

On the left.

Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes.

Eddie, welcome to 2025.

You look good.

I feel bad.

Yeah, you've been sick.

I've been sick.

I got the bird flu or the new China flu.

I got something.

You got something inside of you. But whatever it is, honestly, I like that it's made you humble.
Thank you. Yeah, no, I was humble when I was holding my belly in my room.
Just going, oh, my God, don't you leave. Stay away.
Stay away from me. Just like the Virgin Mary on the Christmas Eve's Eve.
Yeah, no, it is interesting how pathetic you can get when you're very sick well what's sad is is how debased a man allows himself to get yeah is that we i know i'm other men because i am one of the bravest strongest survivors that's ever lived through a cold or having hurt my toe yeah or having hurt my thumb and the one thing that natalie will tell you is that i suffer in silence like a world war ii veteran no one knows that i'm in discomfort and i never show a sign of weakness never never once never been weak. No, no, no, no.
I make sure when I'm sick, I'm volunteering

at the fire. of weakness? Never.
Not once. Never been weak.
No, no, no, no. I

make sure when I'm sick, I'm

volunteering at the firehouse.

Oh, absolutely. That's what I do.

I'm brave. It's different.
I'm down at the

mission. I'm built different.

Yeah, I'm built different. I am

one of the most incredible husbands

I've ever been, but honestly, Eddie, I'm glad

you're okay. Yeah, I finally got the confidence

to fart again, which is nice. Well, you were afraid you were going to spray or I did.
I had a couple. I shit myself twice.
Welcome to Side Stories. And that's how you start 2025 the proper way.
I'm your host, Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with your other host, Ed Larson.
Oh, my bully. And he's just been sick.
The one thing I will say. I'm going to get sick again this weekend in Atlanta.
Be good. I hope you do.
We are coming, Atlanta. To the Coca-Cola Roxy.
Last podcast on the left. Coca-Cola Roxy.
Yes. On Saturday night.
Come check it out. 7 p.m.
Come get stinky. And then we're at Dad's Garage on Sunday, but sold out.
Can't see it. Sold out.
So you got to come to last podcast. But I will say, if you're coming to the Dad's Garage show,

bring suggestions.

Yes, because we're going to try a little...

Improvicio.

Improvicio.

But I will say,

it's nice to be back in the studio.

It's the year 2025.

The jungle bells are receding.

The Jews have thrown their menorahs in the rivers. And the Muslims have gone back to do whatever they do during the December year.
Ramadaned if you do. Ramadaned if you don't.
Last I heard. But now it's time to get in some updates because we're here.
The news has not stopped. You lost a friend.
Can we give him a more? Can we have any taps? Do you have Sarah McLachlan's in the arms of the angel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I like to follow on Instagram, obviously, as many do.
I like to follow. I don't like smart dogs.
I don't like skilled dogs. I like an old shivering dog.
Oh, the best. And it's my favorite follow on Instagram.
I like ones that have little legs, malformed faces. I like when they have names like Pips or Mr.
Crunkles. That's some of my favorite stuff.
But what no one tells you, I think one of the worst phenomena that no one explains about social media is when a pack, literally several of the little tiny dogs that you follow die. Yeah.
And then I was, so I was watching throughout all of obviously the Christmas season. I'm filled with anger as normal.
And I'm going through and I'm looking at my favorite little guy, Lil Hobbs. Oh, Lil Hobbs.
Love Lil Hobbs. Love Lil Hobbs.
I was looking through all these, you know, his Christmas content. Again, they're crushing it, rolling it out three times a week.
I can depend upon it, looking at it, right? All of a sudden, which I think is hilarious, January 2nd arrives. Yeah.
Here comes the post. We regret to inform you and the entire Lil Hobbs family that Lil Hobbs died before Christmas.
so my thing is is that so i've been watching little hobbs yeah dance and bark and yip and he's been a fucking corpse yeah for three weeks and i'm watching this i'm watching this ghost it's like watching photos of just because you know how much so are you mad about this i don't know i mean. I think it's good.
I mean, you needed Little Hobbs. I did.
But Little Hobbs. This was a stressful time for you.
Little Hobbs is fucking dead. Yeah.
Little Hobbs. But Little Hobbs was dead and Little Hobbs still made you feel delight.
Yeah. But that was.
But now the true despair that the moment made me feel sort of obliterated all of the happiness he provided. It's kind of like how...
Well, it's January 2nd. You're supposed to feel nothing on January 2nd.
You're correct. And it was a thankful reminder to remember that 2025 is going to be mean and hard and long.
Little Hobbs' owners, masters, they did a good service. And plus, they had the content made.
That's so sad. They were like, Hobbs is dying.
Put the Christmas sweater on. I know it's November 18th.
Get the little hack. Get the little hack.
We're going to have to go into storage. We're going to have to get their Christmas shit out soon.
Yes, because there are now two tumors in his intestines. And we need to get this shit.
We have ads sold through. Fucking November 30th.
Oh, man. We have ads sold, honey.
Yeah, we got to keep it coming. I mean, I respect the fucking commitment.
No, I do too. I'm just saying, when should we tell everybody? You know, that was the talk they had after they put Hobbs down.
The first thing is they're just sitting there talking about, probably talking about merch rollouts while they're watching little Hobbs going. And they're just sitting there just being like, you know, we really are going to have to, you know, we're going to have to knuckle down and get some.
I know that we all wanted to get that new Little Hobbs chest set going. And we're having some problems with some Chinese manufacturers.
But I think we're going to have to get that on the double. I wonder if, like, the vet, like, takes pride that they put down a famous dog.
Oh, they should have the list. Put it on their wall.
We put down Little Hobbs. The final resting place of Little Hobbs.
Only in Los Angeles. Man, know who knows an old dog I love? Norbert.
He's not long for this world. Norbert.
After watching Little Hobbs go down, because I also follow Norbert. I love Norbert.
And I love Miss Sunday, the Black Lab. Do you know her? No, but the Black Labs are even harder because Norbert will live to a shivering 22 years old.
I mean, he's a big dog. Norbert's a four-pound dog.
Oh, no, we're talking about different Norberts. That's what I'm saying.
Sunday. Mine's a pit bull, Norbert.
But the. Oh, this is not the Norbert you follow?

This is not my Norbert.

Wait a second, Eddie.

This ain't my Norbert.

We have to talk about this.

How is Norbert not suing your Norbert?

They look, he typed in Norbert the dog.

And the first one that popped up is my Norbert.

Really?

Man, maybe, well, I think it's targeted at me.

And I started like, it's just some old lady that puts a hat on their pit bull, and she drives it around,

and she's like, hey, Norbert, want some ice cream?

Want some ice cream, Norbert?

And Norbert's just sitting there, like, not even paying attention or knowing what's happening.

The problem with the bigger dog influencers...

There's Norbert.

That's my Norbert.

That's extremely cute.

But the bigger dog influencers, they do die faster.

Oh, absolutely.

And that is the worst.

And Sunday the Black Lab, she's retired now. They said that she's not dead, but she's hot.
Not dead, quote unquote. So they had to say she's not dead? No, no, no.
Well, they said she's retiring from social media. And I bought a calendar for Julie for Christmas and for my dog Nanny Max.
See is what little Hobbs learn. This is what you learn.
The dog never dies. The dog retires.
Miss Sunday's hot. I always show Rambo videos of Miss Sunday and be like, look at this bitch.
Oh, you're talking about the dog. I'm talking about, yeah.
Okay, you're talking about the older African-American lady that owns it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The dog is a bitch. Yes, bitch.
Yes. And there's the calendars I bought when we have one up in my house.
It's not too late to get your Miss Sunday calendars. Go out there to Miss Sunday, the Black Lab.
But she dresses sometimes. She dresses like a bus driver.
I can't believe this. And then other times she dresses like she works at the DMV.
That's very cute. And she's very cute.
That's very. I love Miss Sunday.
Oh, I'm glad. She loves her baths.
Okay. Well, now we're just talking about dogs.
I love them. It's very sweet.
It's very sweet. I love Miss Sunday.
She loves her baths. Now we're just talking about dogs.
It's very sweet. Bringing in the new year, talking about these old ass dogs.
My dogs are still alive. Your dogs are still alive.
Carmi's still alive even though she went into underneath the tree. She found my mom in all of her generosity.
My mom does this thing. She's still feeding Gracie Mae from the grave.
She does a little, and I mean this with all love. She's becoming slightly like an Aunt Bethany from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, where she is just wrapping stuff.
And so we did not know she had wrapped a bar of dark chocolate underneath the tree. And Carmi's a little britney murphy yeah she is becoming a lot she loves anything that can kill her and so she goes oh yes getting that laced baby oil um and so she goes and she found the bar chocolate she waited she literally had probably located it before nat Natalie stepped out.
I mean this.

She went under the tree while Natalie was gone for 10 minutes, ate the bar of chocolate,

then thousands of dollars later just got to be confused in a fucking urgent care.

I have no idea, but she lived in.

When you wrap candy, it goes in the tree or in the stocking.

Don't wrap candy.

Don't wrap candy.

Just give candy.

Just give candy.

Just give candy.

You're right.

You're right.

But don't put it under the tree. The dogs will get it.
Speaking of dogs are sick. Ed's sick.
I'm not. I'm invulnerable.
I actually think that Trot, honestly, I'm the best I've ever been. I feel that I'm only getting stronger, funnier, more handsome.
Fatter. Balder.
Bulking. I'm bulking.
I'm bigger muscly. Yes.
I benched. I double dumbbell benched 45 pounds the other day.
Two hands the other day. 45 pounds.
Each hand. For me.
Really? That was big for me. Can you curl 45? I can curl 35.
Whoa. Strong now.
I don't think I could do that. No, I'll kill any other podcaster that tries to fuck with me.
I don't think that's true at all. Oh, no.
I'll come get him. There's so many podcasters that just eat liver.
You know,

it's just fun to do. I like to challenge him with fights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they never get any

attention. Now, let's talk

about some couple of

great updates for this

year immediately. Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom!

Now, our guy, one of our

favorite guys here, father

of the year, Josef Fritzl. Now, he's been in jail.
He's 89 years, fine. And he's still in Austria's, now it's been the psychiatric detention in this high security unit.
Essentially, in a home for the criminally insane. But they've been floating that he might get paroled.
How long has he been locked up? He has been locked up since what was that day? 2009. 2009.
And so he so now but he's saying straight up first of all he doesn't understand the big hubbub. He doesn't know why everybody's still so upset with him because according to him I was actually a good father.
Moreover he claimed I specifically saved money to help with children's education. I visited the children often and helped them whenever they were given Charles to do.
I helped them and encouraged them to play musical instruments and so forth. I know with one of my daughters I made a mistake and I regret that.
But apart from that, I believe that I was actually a good father. That is a direct quote from Yosef Ritzel.
For those of you who don't know, he made a family with his daughter. He created a sex dungeon that she was put inside of and then he made a secret family in there.
It didn't go well for him. Now he's in jail.
But they're saying that he might get parole and he has insisted he needs a house or the basement. And it is what he says.
Is that true? It is the first thing he said that he says that, number one, he says he no longer feels comfortable driving. It's the traffic.
I never put these on their phones. He's not happy with driving.
And he says that he needs the he must have a residence near a train equipped with a basement. And that's what he says.
His attorney, Astrid Wagner, told local media every day he dreams of having his own house or apartment. See? But it must have a basement.
It must have a basement. Because he says he has so many files.
Oh, he needs to keep all his files. He has so many files.
Yeah. Well, you can't keep those above ground.
Yeah, but, you know, tell me about this because I just watched that. I've seen clips from the movie Baby Girl.
Oh, yeah. It's a sex movie.
I know, yeah, the Nicole Kidman movie, Her Disclosure. But the whole thing I see now is because that big, that song, it's like a famous song from him that gets a big sexy moment, just him coming down to the basement to hear, be your fossil figure.
I can see him coming in all sexy. I can be your fossil figure.
What if they put him in the basement of the prison? Wouldn't that work? He doesn't want to be in the basement. He doesn't have a basement.
Oh, he doesn't have a basement. Yeah, he doesn't want to be in the basement.
He's got to put other people in the basement. Daughters go in basements.
That's right. Fathers are in the living room.
He should be in prison at least as long as he kept his daughter in prison. At the bare minimum.
It's too late. He's going to die in there.
There's no way he's going to... They're all basically saying...
They're not letting him out. Not really.
They're saying that essentially he's going to be moved to a lower security prison, but they think that the idea of total freedom is not going to happen. How long did they give him when he got sentenced? I forgot what the sentence was.
They tried, you remember it was, oh, it was kind of like Anders Breivik. I believe it was like one of those, they like put him in jail and they're like, we'll figure this out later.
Because it's one of these countries where they don't know. Like, it's just a very liberal country.
Yeah. Life imprisonment with the possibility of parole after 15 years.
Yeah, so now it's 15 years. All right.
So he's allowed. He's allowed.
And so, yeah. You might as well ask.
Hey, come on. He's just like, I was hearing about these Pelotons.
I would like to use, I hear they do a thing too, well, it turns the screen and it takes you anywhere. And I would like to ride my bike along my daughter's naked body.
Well, that's different, Yosef. You can't do it.
Right from your grave. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is.
From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business, which is good because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost HorsePix.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name

of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horsepicks and drive it towards the right.

Some of the incendiary horsepicks that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale,

one of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mare. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw horsepicks.com.
And that little boy, I didn't know that he'd become a full-fledged Nazi and grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand, which is why I've started emupaintings.com. Thank you, Squarespace, because emupaintings.com are really, it's an exceptional way for me to get you paintings of emus in various positions that emus would normally be.
And in a way, I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination.

And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely effed to the gills.

That's the term for being absolutely S out of luck.

So Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built-in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating. I just want to say thank you Squarespace for all your help and emupaintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant.
I promise. Head to squarespace.com slash left for a free trial.
When you're ready to launch, use offer code LEFT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Do you say data or data? I don't know.
However you say it, though, it's time to stop overpaying for your monthly

data plan with Mint Mobile. I guess I say data.
I never thought about it until this moment. Now I'm locked in and obsessed.
Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile. It's only 15 bucks a month.
All plans come with high-speed data. Ah, data.

Is that it?

Data.

Ah, man.

What do I, how do I, ah! Data. Anyways, you get a limited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
That's 5Gs, or as I like to call them, geese. All right? Mint Mobile is going to save you money.

Data, data, data.

Anything you want.

Whatever it is you need talking-wise, Mint Mobile, it does it.

No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it.

Shop data plans at mintmobile.com slash lpotl.

That's mintmobile.com slash lpotl.

Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month five gigabyte plan required. Equivalent to $15 a month.
New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plan.
Options available. Taxes and fees extra.
See Mint Mobile for details. Second update.
Big, yeah, what's going on with these things, man? Well, drones. I'm not even going to start talking about the drones.
Why? Oh, because you're going to be just like them. No.
You're keeping it a secret. No.
You're not telling anyone about nothing. No, it's just that it seems...
What are you hiding? The wave has passed. Honestly, I think it's a pre-diabetes.
I think I'm going to be diagnosed with pre-diabetes. That's what I'm hiding.
But what I am not hiding is the fact that the story has now, as we knew it would eventually go, it has drifted past. We're now past it.
We're now new. Now we're just in Trump nonsense zone, which we're going to be for the next four years.
And it's going to be a lot like that. So one thing that did, but it stopped, right? Yeah.
So far, the official statement, the last that we heard from the U S government was they said, um, we assessed that the sightings to date include a combination of lawful commercial drones, hobbyist drones, and law enforcement drones, as well as manned fixed-wing aircraft, helicopters, and stars mistakenly reported as drones. Definitely, because we're fucking stupid.
And then Jacob Weinling, another guy who's a reporter who believes that the drones are a part of this $1.5 trillion drone air taxi program rollout. Which I get.
I don't think the way to start the air taxis is to make everybody afraid of them and not know what they are. Yeah.
I think that mostly if you want a... Yeah, you want to check out the air taxi.
It's totally safe. This is like the thing you do at the World's Fair.
What a funny thing. You bring it out.

You get Jules Verne's hologram to introduce it.

I don't think we need to fool us.

I think that we just would either take the air taxis or not.

I know that in LA, we're supposed to be taking air taxis to the Olympics maybe in 2028.

That's right.

We'll see.

Three years from now, we're going to be taking air taxis.

All I know is what am I going to do?

Am I going to take some air taxi and it's going to be some guy named Treejor, and he's going to be like, I'm actually also a DJ, and he's going to hand me his fucking headshots. Is it going to be the same? It's going to be the same.
Yeah, it's not someone's first job. Yeah.
It's like, what else? What do you really do? This is like, actually, I'm making slime for children. It's my favorite.
I make slime. It's here.
If you want some slime, I have a bucket.

Now, they also say, so nothing's really come out.

I do have a letter, again.

But what about the orbs?

What do they say about the orbs?

Absolutely nothing, Eddie.

Those are, again, stars.

You're an idiot.

You're stupid.

Well, so many times, I will say that there was a couple times where I was like, you know,

I'd get drunk.

And you're like, oh, yeah, that's right, drones.

And I go outside, and I start staring at the sky, and I got my star finder out, you know. And I'm like, is that a drone? No, it's a star.
Ursa Major, you know, like sitting there. And then I'm like, oh, that one's two stars.
That's got to be a drone. I was like, oh, no, I'm drunk.
I forgot. That's not two stars.
I just can't see right now. Eddie, you know what, though? These are the beginnings of a true investigator.
That's where it all begins. You never remember to check when you're sober.
Why would you? Because when you're sober, you're doing something like, I gotta do something about the sky. I gotta get outside.
There's something out there I gotta do something about. And my wife doesn't want me to do something about it.
Yeah, it's never when Julie's home that I'm looking for drones. It's always like when she's gone too long.
Yeah, of course. Hold on a second.
Yeah, because what are you doing with your sitting at home with your beautiful wife watching television with your dog? You're not searching for the truth. Yeah, my life is good in that moment.
When my life is empty, I'm like, alright, let's go find the aliens. Truth and love go like this inside of the male mind.
Truth and love go back and forth.

Truth will eventually destroy love. But for a while, love does help tamper down the effects of truth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But according to this licensed drone operator.
Imagine if you didn't have Natalie. You'd be off the rails.
You'd be done. If I didn't have Natalie.
You'd be, like, trying to, like, go to space. I mean honestly

I don't even think about what it'd be like if i was truly untethered and just how much damage i could cause and how much fun that would be for me and how good it would be for america i'm gonna think about that think about that you know because she doesn't listen right the The key really is to go through a divorce, which is what we'll talk about a couple of big divorce energy guys in today's episode that we're going to talk about. Oh, yes.
That's when I can really start focusing on my plans. But according to this licensed drone operator, I'm a licensed drone operator in eastern South Dakota with two separate drone sightings.
I regularly operate a DJji agras t-50 that means nothing to me it's a thing it's a drone um which is one of the largest commercial drones available to the public after looking at a ton of new jersey drone footage i can say that there's no way that they are legally flying commercial drones if they are, then they are significantly more advanced than anything we've seen.

Battery life on large drones is extremely limited,

and even if the drone is just hovering with minimum wind,

you got maybe 15 to 20 minutes

before it automatically tries to land due to low battery.

Add windy conditions,

and you're looking at 10 minutes of flight time.

Additionally, in my experience,

the battery used in these drones

are very sensitive to temperature,

and you see a significant drop in battery efficiency in colder weather. That's fascinating.
That I did not know. Look at this thing.
Yeah, that's a big old drone, this guy flies. I also don't see how these flights can be legal.
The FAA has very strict rules about operating large drones overpopulated areas. Drones are also legally required to transmit a radio frequency ID at all times while airborne air traffic control and pilots of manned aircraft can be aware of them.
The New Jersey drones apparently do not transmit an RFID and their operators are not communicating with air traffic control or pilots of local aircraft. Now, this guy, he said he had two sightings.
First sighting was over the Volga, South Dakota on December 11, 2024. Volga, South Dakota.
Volga. Oh, Volga.
Volga. Which is a woman's named Gernkas Volvas.
What you call her Volgas. Now, I saw what looked like an airplane with red and green running lights and a bright white light that looked kind of like a spotlight.
I thought it was a plane flying low over town for some reason until I noticed the object was hovering in place. I also saw it turn off its white spotlight and it had no flashing anti-collision lights which were required on all aircraft.
The object turned and hauled us out of town before I could get a video. Second sighting on December 15th, 2024 at about 8.10 p.m., three of us saw four to six yellow orange lights flying in a circular pattern in the sky west of Arlington, South Dakota.
They would come in and out of view, almost like fireflies in the dark, but definitely flying in a circular pattern in the sky west of arlington south dakota they would come in and out of view almost like fireflies in the dark but definitely flying in a circular pattern their movement was almost floaty and they turned too tightly and flew too closely to be standard aircraft they also didn't have anti-collision lights which are standard and required on all man and unmanned aircraft we watched for about 10 minutes until we got cold, and then we went inside.

Okay.

So that's one of those.

I'm going to leave it for now.

We'll see what happens.

This is going to develop.

Drones, I mean, like, all right, so what about, like, the big drones,

like Obama's drones, the flying murder robots?

His children?

His babies?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, those drones exist.

You know, those things could fly across oceans, right?

Am I crazy?

No, I don't know.

No.

They get deployed.

They get deployed.

But they're not.

They're up in the air.

I'm just going They get deployed. They get deployed.
But they're up in the air. Those are military-grade.
Those are military-grade, and it's different. Because they are unmanned.
It's just different. But weren't we worried that some of these were military-grade drones? Well, they weren't killing us, and they weren't bombing us, so we don't know what they were doing.
Yeah. And a lot of our...
We also made things that... I believe we make drones.
They look like this. You see these things? They look like planes.
Yeah. No, that's what I'm talking about.
Yes. This is very different.
These fly very, very, very high up. And what they do is they identify where to go, and then there's the strafing drones that come in and shoot the missiles.
The thing is, if you wanted the drones to be secret, why would you put lights on them? It's a whole thing, Eddie. Why would you have lights? Well, because the other drones got to see you fly around.
It's going to be a mystery that we are not going to solve. They're not going to let us solve.
Is this going to be the Phoenix lights all over again? Yes. And you're never going to explain it? No.
And we're just going to talk about it every once in a while? Well, it has been explained, Eddie, as we saw on my stream, on our stream. Nothing's happening.
Nothing's going on. We're stupid.
Everything that people see is stars or planes. And you got big, fat, dumb, drunk eyeballs.
And you have little feet and dumb. I have big feet.
Thank you very much. I'm size 13 shoe.
If anybody wanted to buy me shoes. Send him shoes.
Send me shoes. I'm walking around like Fred Flintstone.
Yes, he is. He really is.
It's very strange. You can hear his sole scrape on the tile.
So that's one update. We'll just leave it behind for now.
And then this next update is this is one more shade to this mystery that does not make sense. We live for stories about shit in the road.
It's not just because, you know, it's stuff attached to shit in the road. And also kind of funny, I think, in a way, how in small town America, the road is almost a way.
To communicate. It's the only way you're going to talk to anyone.
It seems to be between the fucking piles of stuff. All that kind of stuff.
It just seems to be people choose roads. Yeah, maybe this guy in Kansas just needed to make friends.
Well, it sounded like he did want to make some friends, but we don't know what he wanted to do with those friends. Now, this is an update to our story out of Bennington, Nebraska, where they say at least, according to the last report, four accidents occurred.
I believe it's on Highway Route 36 at night, where an object was left in the middle of the road. One person said they said a flat screen TV.
There was a bike in the middle of the road. That's a hard thing to see in the middle of the night in the road.
It's almost like he purposely did it so that he didn't crash into it. But he swerve, right? Don't know.
What happens is that this happened now several times in this small little town where the car swerves. I wish there was more, like the TV was set up and there was like road on the TV.
Like he's Wile E. Coyote.
And so people swerve to avoid the objects in the road. The next thing you know, they hear a voice that is asking if they need help.
And now this happened four times. And several other people, two of them happened to be connected.
They noticed that it was the same exact man that seemed to have been parked next to the highway waiting for them to crash. We don't know what they did.
Everybody refused. He said he was weird looking.
He was kind of a normal white guy or whatever, right? Long legs. So it was long legs.
It was long legs. So that was one thing.
That became a mystery. That was like, alright.
It stopped. Then, right before Christmas, a person we don't know.
We're pretty certain. It's the person who did this.
We don't know, right? So one of the victims was by the name of Garrison Beach. All of a sudden, first alert six, the local news in Bennington, they receive this call as they are talking about this story.
Hello, this is Garrison Beach, and I would like the news article about the accident on Highway 36 to be removed. This new story does not need to be up there and needs to be removed immediately.
So that voice is not Garrison Beach. It almost sounded like, I know it was a person, but it almost sounded like it was like AI.
I think he just might be a fucking weirdo, Eddie. And so Garrison Beach had to go and talk to First Alert 6 and say, that's not me.
And because they got, they said it wasn't the one call. They received several calls from that voice, that voicemail.
Always saying it was Garrison Beach. Saying it's Garrison Beach.
I want you to take this article down. They contacted Garrison Beach.
Garrison Beach. He says, no, I did not contact you.
They went and they played him the voicemail of the person impersonating him. And Garrison Beach says like, I don't know.
Honestly, I don't know what to say this or not, but sounds just like the guy. So this guy is trying to get the stories taken off the news about this.
So it's either. Did they trace the call? No, they can't do that.
They don't do that. It was on a voicemail.
It was on a voicemail. And so it's finding interesting.
It's one of the first times. But you know what number called you.
I don't know. I actually don't know.
I get a voicemail that says it came from this phone number. Honestly, I bet you that's the type of information that they probably have to, if they are talking to police, that that's what they would give to them.
Yeah. Because we don't know.
I haven't heard anything. I just heard voicemail, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, but it's, I find interesting is that on this news report, they're talking a little bit more in sort of like, oh, well, maybe this guy just really wanted to help people. Like, he really wanted to help people, which I think is a tactic from the news to get this guy to show himself because I don't think that, because I don't think that he's trying to help people if he's trying to get the news story off the internet.
I think that the man is doing something fucking weird. God knows what it is.
We'll find out. Who knows? He could be maybe I'm wrong, and he'll turn out to be the most benevolent man ever, who only wants to be he just wanted to work for roadside assistance and he never got a chance to because he wouldn't get his mechanics degree.
Yeah. Yeah, who knows? So that's that story.
That's it. That's all we got.
We'll see. We'll find some updates on it.
So now, current news. Eddie, we have got some stories today.
So we have Christmas We have a Christmas section section. Which is also four Family Annihilators.
Four? Four over the Christmas break. There were four of them.
One of them, too. The last one was, I believe, Jacob Mayhew.
Do you think this always happens? Yes. And then just sometimes it gets swept under the rug? I think that Christmas, the holiday season is an extremely stressful time.
And I think that we see a lot of uptick in suicides and in stuff like this.

Family Annihilation is one of those things that seem to, again, we talked about it right before the show, they come in waves.

Yeah.

It's almost like guys see it in the news and then some consciously don't understand that they're agreeing with the fathers that are killing their families and they get inspired to kill their families. Yes.
Which is, I say honestly, take them to Disney and leave them. Well, that's very expensive.
Or drive them someplace and leave them. Yeah, Knott's Berry Farm.
Always leave. Yeah, family annihilators don't go to Disney, please.
I like it there. But before we do Christmas crimes, there was a more obviously more important crime that happened.
We kind of want to talk about it. The similarities and the differences

between what happened in New Orleans

on New Year's Eve and

what happened in

Vegas on New Year's Eve.

Now, we know that two separate

I would say close

to domestic terrorist events happened

that were extremely similar.

One was in New Orleans where a car drove through, It was an electric truck. Drove through.
Much more extreme than the other ones. Much more.
Yes. Really, really fucked up.
He drove through a crowd on Bourbon Street. He killed 14 people.
35 people have been hurt so far. 15 people, but you know, I mean, what do we do? It's not good.
Yeah, either way, it's not good. About 15 people are dead.
Sam Suddin Jabbar was the name of the man who did it. We know that he was inspired by ISIS.
He's a former military vet. Yeah.
Again, rented an EV truck, did it all with an EV truck, and then he got into a shootout with the police, and he died in the shootout. He was waving an ISIS flag.
He was. My thing is, and we had talked about this right before the show, like, how do you get one? Yeah, where do you get an ISIS flag? Rob, could you look that up? Can look that up can you because we were googling before we were trying to find out i figured that on into a microphone just out of just pure curiosity to buy an isis flag podcast on the left is just curious not curious how to buy an isis flag if it exists etsy can't etsy interesting Wow, you went to Etsy Yes, for ISIS flags Wow, you can buy an ISIS flag.
I just want to know if it exists. Etsy.
Can't see. Etsy.
Interesting. Etsy's a good choice.

Wow.

You went to Etsy.

Yes.

For ISIS flags.

Wow.

You can buy an ISIS.

I don't know.

I don't think.

No.

There's.

It's not me.

Yeah.

No.

What do you do?

Do you just take a black cloth and throw a bunch of white out at it?

They can't hope that it works.

Do you think they all get made or they not get made in Taiwan or something?

Yeah.

Right.

They're not doing this.

I feel like there's a.

When are we inviting ISIS to the Olympics? Yeah. It's so...
I mean, they want to be in it. This is what happens when you search and Google to try to shop for it.
It just goes full black. Wow, it just won't even let us look at it.
We're just trying to look at it. It doesn't even show you the image of an ISIS flag? It's because you're on Google Shopping.
Oh, Google Shopping. Oh my god, the first thing that comes up is FBI.gov.
Oh, Jesus. Amazon.
All right. Yeah.
Type it in. ISIS flag.
Type it in Amazon. Amazon.
Can't we get one? Bezos, if anyone's sending me one, it's, oh, fuck ISIS. Oh, he's got to fuck ISIS and you have an LGBTQ.
You can buy it. Yeah, no.
You can't buy that. You can buy an Iraqi flag.
Wow. Wow.
You have to make it, I guess. Man, did I ever tell you about, so when I did USO on Christmas, and it was Christmas Eve, and we're on the base in Baghdad doing the show, and then there's these two Iraqi super soldiers there watching the show, and they were big and tough and crazy, and they look totally different because they're Iraqi super soldiers, and they're just standing with their arms crossed underneath the fucking hoop and shit.
And I'm sitting there by the chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff. And then after the show, these two guys from the Iraqi military go up to the chairman of Joint Chief of Staff and he reaches it in his pants pocket and he pulls out a crumbled up flag and he hands it to the general and it's an and it's an ice he opens it up and it's an isis flag that he captured yesterday and like that he killed people for and the general said thank you and then general dumford batted motherfucker and then he and then he crumbled it up the general crumbled it up and put it in his pocket and it was like the craziest exchange there was There was no one, no press.
No one took pictures. It was just something I just kind of saw.
And I was like, holy fucking shit. So do you have to pay your dues to ISIS and then you get a flag and like a certificate and a polo and a lanyard? I'm sure they love sending them.
You know, like, I feel like they got, you know, I got a bunch of biggest baby shirts at the house. I don't know what to do love sending them.
I'm sure they got... How did he get his?

I got a bunch of biggest baby shirts at the house.

I don't know what to do with it.

I could imagine ISIS putting a big order

because you got to order 144.

We have to get rid of it.

These things are just sitting everywhere.

We got to get these boxes out of here.

We got a bunch of old merch we can't get rid of.

Yeah, we got to get these boxes out of here.

How else am I...

Where am I going to put my pinball machine collection?

Contacting the Americans.

See if we can.

Hi, my name is Tim Isis.

And one thing I got to say is these flags are choking me.

All right?

Just take them.

Just use them.

All right?

Honestly, just use them as a tablecloth.

It doesn't matter, man.

No, they are.

So that was a bad one, right?

So we still don't know where to get an Isis flag. No.
SidestorieslOTL, gmail.com. We're going to have to do the old fashioned one.
That's what I think. Don't send us.
That's fine. I understood how you, I mean, did you see them available? Fucking ISIS, man.
The sequel to Al-Qaeda. Those fucking pussies.
Still around. Still around.
And so what do you think? Is the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, and ISIS, they're like, are they connected? Eddie, please, for the love of Christ, let's not do this. This is not the show.
This is not our show. None of us have any idea.
I don't know. Rob doesn't know.
I've stayed out of it. Yeah, I mostly am just hopes and prayers.
Thoughts and prayers? Vibes? To who? To the Middle East. To the Middle East, all of it? My goal is to the Middle East.
May they each find their way towards peace. It's always been good over there, and I don't know why just recently it's getting stirred up.
Also, LastPodcastandLeft.com, we will be doing our first live show in Jerusalem. It will on Easter Sunday and just please come and join us over there it is going to be a barn burner so that's that was so that was like that's the obviously truly fucked up and the other one is this Cybertruck guy now we know this this fucking charmer a man man by the name of Matthew Livelsberger.
He was very similar to the other guy, minus the ISIS. Not only, it was extremely similar.
They're both military, they're both vets. One thing though is that with the NOLA bomber, with the NOLA driver, the truck attack, he was in the U.S.
Army. And we know that he was radicalized from the way in.
He was middle and he, there was something like that. But when it comes to Matthew Livelsberger, same shit, but a wholly different scenario.
He also rented an electric truck. He rented the cyber truck, right? He then also army that, but he was Green Beret.
Yes. Main difference between Matthew Liversberger and this other guy was the fact that he had a massive brain injury.
It changed his entire personality that everybody says. They all said that he was a different guy after he had...
And he got divorced. Both of them...
This is what I'm saying. Divorced men's energy we are all going to have to protect ourselves from in 2025.
Yeah, because there's going to be a lot of divorces this year I got a feeling I have a feeling I am working I love my wife I'm doing everything I think we're in the clear We're fine And so I But we are doing our best We're gonna do our best as men But these guys Like this is the problem with giving a man his freedom in this way yeah

is that it really sets him out there so matthew livelsberger he was he got divorced and one of the weirder things was he was just upset because he won the brian thompson look-alike contest god that is a bad contest to fucking win dude did you know that actually if you win that the prize you get is a target on a shirt?

No.

Can we keep it, Rob?

Yeah. Now, I...
Did you know that you were going to be a moral barometer for the rest of your life? Yes. Yes, he did.
Now he knows. So one of the things I found that was curious about Matthew Libelsbergervelsberger is that not only so he was divorced you know he's let loose he decides to rent this cyber truck from turo which is again great i love that all the turo he also i never heard of this fucking company at all same thing with the nola truck attack guy he also rented his truck from turo and everyone's like i was like this is the worst ad campaign I've ever heard for a car rental.
VRBO for fucking terrorists. For terrorists.
And so, Matthew Liversberger, he rented the Cybertruck. Now, you have all of these reporters.
So, he drove it, I believe he drove it from Colorado to Las Vegas. Had to charge it fucking twice.
Yes. Exactly.
Come on! Exactly. Main fucking problems with the Cybertruck.
He drives to Vegas in order to, we now know, he detonated his Cybertruck. After he put a gun in his mouth and blew his brains out, he blew up the Cybertruck in front of Trump Tower.
Now you have every shithead Monday morning quarterback reporter starts ripping through this story, going to be in like, you could see the symbolism.

I mean, it's clear as day.

Trump Tower.

It's fucking Cybertruck.

Screaming of symbolism.

See, this is a problem.

Soldier fucking.

But then when you look into Matthew Lovitzberger, huge Trumper, huge fan of Elon Musk.

And what you find out is that these people, let's just say, Eddie, they might be kind of ignorant about everything.

Yeah.

And we're going to wanted to drive it. Well, this is actually true, is that he drove out there and he was texting his ex, like, fuck buddy.
Like, somebody he dated before he had met his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It might have even been, like, someone that he was cheating on his wife with or something. We don't know.
He says that he came back out, right? Yeah. And it's just so but what he was doing.
So so Matthew Littlesberger, he was texting his ex-girlfriend as he was driving. All he was texting was how cool the Cybertruck was.
And the Cybertruck's awesome. Video of him showing her how fast the Cybertruck could go.
And the whole time she's sending texts back like, wow. If you ever get ever get texts like that, that person's probably about to kill the person.
Anybody who says

I feel like Batman is

in a bit of a mania because

that's what he texted her. He texted her

I feel like Batman. But you know what

the main difference between him and Batman is?

Several billion dollars.

And you're not Batman.

You're a stupid fuck that has just

rented a Cybertruck like an idiot. And his parents are still alive.
I'm more like Batman than he is. Let's just rob one, two, three, more like Fat Man.
Oh, come on! Come on, come on. Now, Matthew Silver, this is the problem, is that anytime you think especially in these day and ages, I think that people think that something's like really like way more complicated than it is.
We want these guys to have more depth than they do. So he came out, he was Matthew Slivelsberger.
He wrote, he had suicide notes that were, he was criticizing the government and all, whatever, just kind of, to be honest, hack shit. Yeah.
Then you have, he, you know, he was made a whole big deal about, but he was mostly concerned. The reason why, like everyone was like, oh man, this means something.
He went to Trump Tower. It's like, no, he just wanted it to be on the news.
Yeah. I believe he just wanted it to be on the news.
He knew he did it in front of Trump Tower in Vegas. He would absolutely get on the news.
And he got the Cybertruck because he wanted to test the Cybertruck. And you could tell from all of the content he made from within it.
As he was driving. And just like also his ex-girlfriend was all like.
Also you're on your way to commit suicide and you're still like I need to put this content out. People are.
Well he wasn't putting it online. He was just sending it to his ex-girlfriend.
And so when he was driving across the country, he just was, well, they say this a lot with people that have decided to commit suicide. Their attitudes won't perk up.
Yeah, they reach euphoria in a weird way. Because they've now made a decision about what to do.
So it seemed that he decided to do a, I'm going to let my hair hang down. I'm going to drive a cyber truck to Vegas and then not party in Vegas like first of all you didn't party at first like you should have at least the Al-Qaeda pilots went out and fucking went to a strip club help the economy a little bit you know what I mean you mean to tell me you're not going to go out there and do something? you didn't do anything? nothing I don't think so well he's but it's mostly just just know this ladies same thing.
We talk, we talk about with the micropenis, same thing with the Cybertruck. All you got to say, Oh cool.
That's it. That's all they want to hear.
All the guy with you, all guy with a Cybertruck just wants to hear. It's like, if you go up to me, you're like, wow, this is a really cool car.
You've saved one family from being annihilated. You saved one public space from being detonated with a handmade fertilizer bomb.

If you just, we got, this is 2025.

This is reaching across the aisle.

I'm going the other way, man.

I'm sorry.

I'm never getting in one.

I've like, if someone pulls up to pick me up in a Cybertruck, I'm just gonna be like,

you know what?

I'm fine.

You know, I will say some of Matthew Liffelsberger did make the truck look pretty fun. I mean, of course it's fun.
It was so fun. I'm so anti-Cybertruck.
I'm anti-Cybertruck. But when I was watching the text, he said his text cuff and I was like, oh, wow.
I'm going to go rent a cyber truck. Because also, like, one thing that she did, she was just like, he was like, because she was also asking a bunch of disinterested questions, because obviously he sounded manic.
So she was asking a bunch of disinterested questions. One was like, how fast does it go? And he's like, unworldly.
Yeah. Yeah, it was very, very sad.
But then he went to go blow himself up in front of Trump Tower, and then he just got exactly what he wanted is that we just talked about him. So is this, again, this like reached out to your divorced buddies this year? Oh, yeah.
Is this a reach out? This is the goal. Well, he also, his statement was about like the military, right? You know, he's a bunch of gobbledygook.
Gobbledygook? I mean, it's an epidemic. Soldiers fucking...
What is it? It's over 20 a day? You are correct in terms of the... Utterly.
In terms of the suicide rate for soldiers are huge. Anybody being military, it's very, very big.
They're out there in VA parking lots killing themselves, trying to make a fucking point just so people talk about it. At least maybe this guy took it to the next level.
Well, I think the problem is that when you look at it, it was a mismatch. He had a brain injury.
He was not the same. Matthew Livelsberger obviously dealt with quite a bit in the military.
And as a Green Beret, he probably saw quite a bit of action. He then came back out.
I think that he he was he had a brain. His brains were fucking scrambled.
His brains were scrambled. He didn't know what he was doing.
And then he wrote a whole long conspiracy theory about the New Jersey drones were like Chinese military technology. But wouldn't he know better than anybody? No.
Not necessarily. Technically those Green Beret guys.
Maybe I'm wrong on this. Side story is L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com.
Yeah, the Navy would know more. It seems that people that are specifically trained to kill are not given lots of information.
And I might be wrong. Other than where the people to kill are.
Yes. I might be wrong.
And I would actually like to know that for certain. But it kind of seems that they kind of, they divide things up in that way.
Where if your job is to go kill a lot, they don't want you thinking too much. Yeah, you're infantry, not intelligence.
Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.
It's just wild to see that the stories were, immediately they said that the stories were linked. That the NOLA truck attack and the Trump explosion They did see, of course they seem but I think that they went to the same Fort.
Yes. They probably fucking knew each other.
And Fort Bragg, I believe, also had that shooter. I believe Fort Bragg had the...
Yeah. Yep.
I was also right. William Kruzger Jr.
Also had a shooting in 1995. No, there's a lot going on there.
Something is... What we're going to...
I don't know if what we're gonna see is this but

i find it fascinating that they are parallel but they're completely different yeah and i think we're gonna see more of stuff like that i just think that to the the internet's driving people crazy oh absolutely it's driving people crazy and fucking everyone's just you know these people are fucked up and no one's

willing to help them.

It's because it's, I guess, a political

non-starter yeah and then you seem like a pussy whenever you want to go for therapy you know and it's shit drives me crazy i make my therapist call me a pussy that's great but that's just so i can get hard yeah because i can't be vulnerable unless i'm hard so first i must must be shamed. And then I can be fixed.
Well, there was one fun Christmas story I think I would like to bring up on this show. I actually thought that this whole conversation was fun.
Oh, no. It's a delight.
It's surprisingly fun for the content involved, to be honest with you. Shout out, Lil Dobbs.
Lil Hobbs is dead. Lil Hobbs is dead! And I had to unfollow Lil Hobbs.
Lil Hobbs, he put a bunch of fireworks. Yeah, I unfollowed Lil Hobbs.
You unfollowed Lil Hobbs? He's dead! I still follow Wally Gator, even though Wally Gator's dead and he's still posting, too. They're still posting old videos of Wally Gator.
No, it's like, let go.

You have to let it go.

No, I remember Wally forever.

Lil' Hobbs lives on.

Lil' Dobbs, Lil' Hobbs.

Lil' Hobbs.

Lil' Hobbs lives on.

Oh, yeah, they still never found Wally, did they?

No, Wally's dead.

There's no way Wally...

Wally's too friendly to make it in a Georgia swamp.

Fly from your grave.

Sometimes it feels like the world is moving at hyperspeed,

and you can't keep up because it's one thing, then another,

Don't forget to meeting and the yoga class and the dinner reservation, but then... You get into the all-new Nissan Murano, and you feel the breeze from the panoramic moonroof while the massaging seats melt away the tension of the day.
And you realize that sometimes the greatest rush is is not rushing at all shop the all-new Murano at NissanUSA.com panoramic moonroof massaging leather appointed seats are available features if you share a fridge with someone Instacart can make grocery shopping so much easier with family carts you'll share a cart and each add what. Between the two of you, odds are you'll remember everything.
So no more milkless cereal. Minimize the stress of the weekly shop with Family Carts.
Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.
Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants.
All right, Christmas season is over, but that doesn't mean we don't have Christmas crimes. And there's been, there was a bunch of fun Christmas crimes, but not really that fun.
Well, there's four family annihilators. We didn't even really talk about it.
We just, it happened. You know what it is about the family annihilators is that they all end the same.
Yeah, they really do. Were they, were any of them done by ladies this time? God, I wish.
Yeah. Never, right? Almost never.
It's got to happen once or twice. Every once in a while.
Yeah. Every once in a while there is.
If you look up here, look up, yeah, 224, yeah, the Lawson family murders, that was a big one. That was last year.
No, that was last year. You might have to put 2024.
Oh, that was that other one. And then Jason Mayhew was another one that happened recently.
That was a teenager. Yeah.
But I think that that guy was, yeah, the five family, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know. There's a lot of them.
They love it. So anyway, friendlier topic.
Thomas Campbell Bowling Von Goetz. I love this guy.
He's coming from the New York Post. Insured he was placed on the naughty list and in a jail cell this holiday season after he disrupt two separate Catholic masses within a few hours.
Dude did fucking a double banger, man. The man ruined one mass.
He didn't get enough. He showed up to Holy Angels Catholic Church around 5 p.m.
Hey, Jesus. Hey, come, bitch, you're first.
Yeah, he just walked in yelling, and then he dropped an onion in the aisle as he walked up to the altar.

You're looking to make some soup?

He literally had an onion and treated it like a grenade.

Like he's fucking farmer's market Rambo.

Here's your one.

It's not the only onion I got.

I go back to the store. And then finally someone's like, all right, get him out of here.

And they followed him outside.

And then when they followed him outside, he started pelting the man with tangerines before fleeing the scene. Hey, check out.
Here's some citrus, you bitch. Yeah, you wanna try to fuck with me? You're trying to fuck with me? I know the Dole family.
Yeah, trying. I got the whole produce section in my pockets.
And then seven hours later. Seven hours.
So he goes, what do you think happened? So he then goes to midnight mass. Seven hours later, he goes to a midnight mass.
Hey, everybody. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Leonardtown.
Did you guys miss my catering from the last Christmas service I was at? He dumped a bunch of whiskey in the holy water. Here goes a cocktail, seasonal cocktail.
And then he threatened parishioners while he was walking up and down the aisles. Did you better me? Did you fucking better me in that truck? And then the parishioners tackled him at the midnight mass.
Oh, now very good, you know. And then he tried to hit several of them with the bottle of liquor.
And then they held him on the ground until the sheriff deputies came. And then they took him to St.
Mary's Hospital for medical evaluation. Yeah, I'm going to need a look-see.
And then his mug shot. I love this, Andy.
The mug shot of this next to the full glass of whiskey that they've decided to put next to him is so funny. He is like straight out of like the cast of Philadelphia.
Dude, he really does look sick. Thomas is so happy.
He's like, just like, I did it. I did it.
I'm the one who caused the trouble. Look at his face.
He's like, ain't I stinker? I'm the king. He just looks naughty.
He looks like a naughty little girl. It's that little smile.
He probably lost a bet to his other drunk gay friend. And they're like...
Why'd you go ruin Christmas over that? Yeah. And then he went and he did it.
And he's like, how'd it go? And he's like, this is what happened. Crushed it.
All right, I got notes. Crushed it.
Yeah. But what do you think? All right, so he's intoxicated.
Yeah. Starting early.
It's Christmas Eve. You say he's with friends.
I say this man hasn't spoken to another person at least a week. Christmas Eve, he wakes up.
He decides it's time for everybody. I'm Santa tonight, right? He wants to go to Santa.
So, like, you think that he'd get enough after first, because he has to get the onion and the tangerines. Does he bring them from home, or does he go to the store and purchase? I just imagine this is what he eats every meal.
Yes! My onions and tangerines! I saw that one ad on Instagram. I'd never be this fit if I was for my onion and tangerine diet.
I will

go down. Let me tell Jesus about

it. But do you think he gets it?

I'll put the man in Manhattan.

Normally, I wouldn't waste

an orange and several tangerines like

this, but it's a holiday.

Also, you're dumping it in the

holy water. No one drinks the holy water.

They dip their hands in it. I think he was sullying the holy water.
But I wonder, what does that man do for the seven hours in between? I mean, got hammered. More? I'm sure he got more drunk.
Yes. Do you think he goes to her Denny's? No.
No, no, no. He eats onions.
It's dangerous. We've already discussed this.
Don't for me to go make my mouth hell. Yeah, I gotta go.
He goes, he gets, I actually applaud him, because if I was drunk enough to ruin a Christmas Eve early mass, I definitely would be conked out. I remember my mom used to always try to get me to go to Christmas mass, and I'd be like, I'll go if you let me boo.
And so, like, I'm sure this guy has the same fucking idea. I mean, like, you're alone on Christmas.
You hate everything in the world. Oh, he wanted to go.
He wanted to do this. You know, the world hates you and shit.
Oh, yeah. He was going out there to do it.
Mr. Von Gates, who is truly the fanciest name of a man that I know that is drunk on Christmas Eve, Thomas Campbell Bowling Von Gates.

We honestly salute you next year.

Yeah.

He was charged with second degree assault for throwing tangerines at a man.

He was also trying to hit people with a bottle.

Yeah.

Disorderly conduct, defacing religious property, religious crime against a group, obstructing a religious exercise, threat of mass violence and disturbing the peace.

I didn't know obstructing a religious exercise was a crime.

Thank you. against a group obstructing a religious exercise, threat of mass violence, and disturbing the peace.
I didn't know obstructing a religious exercise was a crime. I mean, who fucking, it sounds like one of those bullshit ones.
America, man. Yeah.
Sounds like one of those bullshit, that's fucking whatever. They should be designed to be interrupted.
Yeah, dude, he can't walk into, well, yeah, whatever. He's pouring a little whiskey in the goddamn holy water? Actually, I do want to ask this.
You don't have to pay admittance to go to a church. You don't have to show a license to go to a church.
There's no subscription. What law is he breaking walking into the church? Yeah, lingering maybe.
If God was real, wouldn't he have stopped him? Yeah. If anything, he was giving to the church.
He gave food and drink. Jesus turned water into wine.
That guy turned water into whiskey by pouring whiskey into water. Yeah, man.
That's easy to do. You guys, I just don't...
Yeah, I'm actually incensed about this. There's a crime to...
Interrupting a mass is a crime? You threaten people, though. That's different.
That's what I'm saying. I mean, obviously, it's Christmas.
That's different. Yeah, you're in church.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think God does? Yeah.
The whole thing is a threat. The whole thing is you can't mess a mess.
Be good or you're going to hell. You can't gamble.
You can't jerk off. You can't curse at your mother.
Why do they have all these stupid fucking bird baths sitting in the front of the churches? Fill it with whiskey. Dude, honestly, they probably get more out of the whiskey than the holy water.
Yeah. This guy should be a saint.
Saint Von Getz. I think that Saint Von Getz is probably, we'll find out.
I think it's Von Goetz. Von Goetz? I think, I believe it's the same Goetz.
Goetz. Something German.
And then I quickly.

Thomas Campbell Bowling von Goetz. Goetz.

We love you.

Well, I like your actions, but I don't know what you've done yet.

I'm sure he's unbearable.

The man is probably a very difficult human.

I don't want him to hurt anyone, but I do think that he can ruin as many masses as he likes.

Yeah.

Now, just real quick. Are you willing to bail him out?

Let's see. Is he willing to

be my

own mass interrupter?

Can I send him out?

Do you become my man?

Do you become my chaos agent that I can send out

to add religion? All I know is that this is the energy we're looking for in 2025. Now, this is not a long story.
I just want to talk about this because this also happened on Christmas Day. Two Oregon men, they died from exposure in a forest after they went out to look for Sasquatch on Christmas Eve.
They went, they got hammered, they couldn't find him. It's literally, it sounds like a parody Christmas song, and they went out and they found him frozen in the snow.
Yeah. Because they were stupid.
That is the song that we have to write for next Christmas. Yes, yes.
Got frozen looking for Sasquatch. Got frozen looking for Sasquatch on Christmas.
Looking for Bigfoot on Christmas. And also, Bigfoot's at home celebrating with his family.
Yeah. Leave Bigfoot alone

on Christmas. If there's one day

also, you can tell neither of these guys

are married.

There's no woman to be like

you're not going outside on Christmas.

You don't know what I'm doing.

It's just the one night he thinks he's free.

You know, honestly, I was going to hit up

my buddy because normally every

Tuesday night we have onions and tangerines together. But he said he was busy.
Yeah, these poor bastards. It's just dumb ass shit.
Look for Bigfoot in the summer. And unfortunately.
That's what, also he's probably hibernating. Well, it's also Bigfoot celebrates Christmas.
Sasquatch, actually, Jewish. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh.

The Yentl Yeti.

A lot of them converted after World War II.

A lot of them converted.

So as we start to close out this show, we were debating whether we should talk about this or not.

But I figured it's at least worth bringing up.

Who do we think is going to die this year? Death Watch. 2025.
2025. about this or not, but I figured it's at least worth bringing up.

Who do we think's going to die this year? Death Watch!

2025. 2025.

Now, I know this is tasteless, but

it's curious. Well, just real quick.
It was mostly

just because I was curious, and then you

talked to me about the deathlist.net, and I

looked it up, and Dick Van Dyke is number one with

a bullet. Number one, yes.
But I only

think that that's just because he's been on the news

recently and had to be carried out of his arms. He's been on the list for

10 years more than anyone else

on the death list. And one, yes.
But I only think that that's just because he's been on the news recently and had to be carried out of his arms. He has been on the list for

10 years more than anyone else

on the death list. And so

he is number one. But my thing is

all of these, a lot of these guys make sense.

John Williams makes sense. Mel Brooks

makes sense. Alan Greenspan

makes sense. Mel Brooks looks great.

I saw Mel Brooks last year. He is not

dying this year. No, Gene Hackman looks good.

But I like to see... I don't know.
That's

a hell of a statement. I don't think Gene Hackman

looks... I don't think he ever looked

Thank you. I saw Mel Brooks last year.
He is not dying this year. No, Gene Hackman looks good, but I like to see...
I don't know. That's a hell of a statement.
I don't think Gene Hackman looks... I don't think he ever looked good.
He's riding his bike at 95. My father can't walk from the fucking bedroom to the living room.
Mel Brooks is 99. Yeah, and Frankie Valli, who I've also become obsessed with because I've been watching his new performances, and he basically performs like basically performs like an animatronic it's actually really kind of creepy he can talk still but he can't he could be he's quite frightening watching him perform he looks like um like he's been pulled out of a dark ride um but I want to say these are a lot of like these are all to be frank and also big one, number 50 on the list, Stuart Hall, sex offender.
Oh, yeah. What is that? 96 years young.
Who is he? I don't know. I never even heard of him.
I don't know why that's on this list. Look up Stuart Hall.
Yeah, why is that the sex offender? Who did he offend? Cultural theorist. Oh.
Okay. And he's just known as- Now it's just a sex offender on this thing.
God knows. I feel like we've just sent her.
I just feel like we just stepped into a big thing. That was the wrong one.
This is the multiple Stuart Halls. That's the guy.
Yeah. Oh, I can see him.
Yeah. Yeah.
He looks like a sex offender. Yeah.
He's got that British face. Too friendly.
Yeah. Yeah.
He looks like a guy who fucking sucks children's feet. I want to see the inside of you.
Yeah. I see that guy.
He's on a game show called It's a Knockout.

Okay. Of course.

I could tell. Look at him.

What a romantic face.

David Attenborough, number 27.

These are all very... I just want to hear what is your one outlier

for the year and let's see what happens.

What's your one outlier, total surprise,

who's going to die this year?

Let's put some money on it. Total outlier.
Total outlier, total surprise, who's going to die this year? Let's put some money on it.

Total outlier.

Total outlier.

Just a random person. Someone that you think

that could die this year.

That could die this year.

Just be totally random.

Totally random. And then we'll obviously

see at the end.

Mike Tyson. Okay, yeah.

I can see it happening. I can see Mike Tyson.
Yeah, sure. I can see Mike Tyson going.
Yeah. You know, he almost went this year.
He did. Yeah, because he got really sick.
He got really sick. And, you know, he's been going too hard and I can see him, I can see him just now just settling down and winding down his life.
I could see that. Yeah.
And he's lived hard too. I'm putting money on Eddie Redmayne.
Eddie Redmayne! I'm still going to put money on it. Yeah? Just for the sake of it.
Now, is this money a hit? No, Eddie. Absolutely not.
I think Tyson can go this year, yeah. Eddie Redmayne.
He looks very healthy. Eddie Redmayne's going to live to at least 2035.
He could be sick. He could be very sick.
Look at his face. Look at his pinched face.
He does, yeah. How does his face get that thin? He could be very, very sick.
I hate his little waist. He's a good nurse.
What? Wasn't that the movie he was in? No, you're thinking of the other... He was...
Was that the one with the abortions? The murder nurse. Vera Drake.
Oh, Vera Drake. Drop your knickers.
Oh, yeah. Remember when we played the drinking game? Yeah, the Vera Drake drinking game.
Every time she says drop your knickers, you have to drink. We did that in college.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we found out one of the people we were playing with recently had an abortion.
She loved it. She had a great time.
She was free to drink. Yeah, she drank plenty.
Now, let's get to some listener emails. Yeah, he was in The Good Nurse.
That movie sucked. Except she's got my baby in it.
Who? Jessica Chastain. My wife looks like Jessica.
I always say my wife looks like Jessica Chastain. We can't both have that.
Well, she is short. I will say that.
Jessica Chastain? Yeah, she's short. She is? Yeah.
Isn't she one of those two that says she's older than she is? Or she's younger than she is? She's actually older, but she looks good. She's older than us.
Wow. Isn't that great? That turns you on more, doesn't it? Of course.
47 years young. Looking great.
All right, here we go. We got a couple of these listener emails.
I think that I'm just going to read one and two. I'm going to read the first one and the last one.
Okay. This first one is spooky.
It's been confirmed now by three separate people, including myself, that my friend's house is haunted. In early August, about 1 a.m., I fell asleep on the recliner and living room.
I woke up to an incredibly strong feeling of a woman watching me in the hallway that led to the rest of the house. I kept my eyes closed and waited for the feelings to pass, but it didn't, so I opened my eyes to look around to make sure no one was watching me.
I went and slept in another room. I talked it up to having a strong dream and being uncomfortable since my dad had just died a couple of days before.
I told my friend the next morning, I don't think about it until whatever, right? We didn't think about it until the next day. On December 11th, 2024, around 830 PM, he had another guest over who's sitting alone in the same recliner waiting on my friend and his wife to finish their online D&D game on the other side of the house.
He said that he felt a feeling of a woman watching him as well, and he looked up to see a figure watching him from the corner. He closed his eyes and looked away and looked back and it was gone.
It spooked him and he left. My friend's roommate overheard my friend and the guest discussing the situation when my friend's roommate was like, holy shit, I have a story too.
The roommate who was having stomach problems

decided to leave his room and sleep on the recliner one night.

He awoke to the same feeling

of a woman watching him in the room.

He couldn't specify the direction.

However, his incident occurred around 3 a.m.

They're all saying they all kind of felt

this female presence watching him.

Okay.

And then they all confirmed it.

Same female presence, same recliner.

It did no bad or good feelings. Just felt neutral, like they were being watched.
Me and the other fellow had the same exact details, except we couldn't pinpoint where in the room the woman was watching us from. So my buddy and I did some research on the house.
The original owner died on December 10th, 2021, inside the house. Also, 2024 was a leap year, which means that we added a day onto the year, which means it should be December 10th, 2024, and that was when the other guest saw her figure.
It was the anniversary. Oh! Nice! You know, I thought I saw a ghost in a recliner.
Yeah, I know this story. You should save this, though.
It's a long story. Yeah, no, no, but I think a recliner is somewhere where ghosts like to hang out.
Why wouldn't they want to be comfortable? That's where I like to put my butt, ghosts. And by those, I mean my farts.
It's very spooky. Remember John Moreno had the haunted house that he lived in? Yeah.
From Murder Fist? Where he kept seeing, like, burning people. That's right.
I forgot all about it. Yeah, he lived in this tiny house in Tallahassee.
He'd wake up to see people burning in his bedroom. Yeah, or like he'd get really hot in the house.
Yeah, that's right. And you opened the back door and it just led to nowhere.
And then they found out that it was like a slave quarters. We should bring him on to talk about it.
I forgot about that story. That shit's crazy.
And then I was back visiting Tallahassee and then I was driving past the house and it had burned down again.

Weird.

That's fucking weird.

Yeah.

I want to talk with John about that.

That'd be great to do for something with the creepypasta.

Some creepypasta episode, because that story is very frightening.

Yeah.

All right, here we go.

One last one.

I'll take this one with a grain of salt, but this is some of my favorite shit in Fates of the Planet.

All right.

Back in 2012, I was stationed in Colorado Springs for a year, and while I was in the process of getting settled, I decided to check out the local scene. Colorado

Springs is a unique part of this country. Very strange place.
Yeah, a lot of military, a lot of

military. I was still waiting on my furniture to arrive and I had nothing to do at home.
So I went

to explore downtown. I managed to hit it off with some Air Force guys and spent the better part of the evening bar hopping with them.
It got late and decided it was time to go home, so I called a cab. I'm 39 years old, and Uber was not a thing at the time.
It's 2012. One of the Air Force guys wanted to come with me.
He was out in his last hurrah before PCSing, permanent change of station, to another duty station, so I figured he wanted to just hook up. I told him, there's no way

I can host. I'm literally sleeping on an air mattress.
He persisted. Eventually, I relented,

and we came back to mine, and he honestly didn't make a move, but he told me the craziest story.

He'd been enlisted in the Air Force for a while. He was an E6.
He was working at NORAD,

and somehow stumbled into a quote-unquote a meeting that he shouldn't have belonged in.

Sometimes if you're in uniform and keep a straight face no one asks questions at this meeting he said that there was an alien i legit didn't believe him i laughed when he told me again thinking he had ulterior motives but he persisted he was very serious the meeting was held at a conference table and in one of the chairs sat an alien. It was a small, brown, and had scales,

according to my guest. It was anthropomorphic and had two giant black eyes and only nostrils, not a nose.
It did not speak, but it did have a slit where a mouth should be. Instead of speaking, he communicated telepathically, and everyone present was able to understand it.
I didn't ask enough questions at the time, but i got the impression that my guest was telling the truth but it's strange because he almost seems sad to tell me this story not excited scared or curious almost depressed i don't know what message the alien relayed but the meeting was amongst a bunch of u.s military officials according to him but he doesn't according to the unfortunately i don't have any more details he spent the night on my deflating air mattress, never tried anything with me, had a banana in the morning, and then called his friend to pick him up. I've never heard from him again.
I want to believe him. I hope there are more legitimate sightings, but there's something ominous about an unknown secretive race of beings and their possible relationship with our government that has the undertones of both awe and fright.
Maybe we'll come to know more in question. If there's a god, I'm an atheist studying zoology and a fossil record.
If aliens from another world exist and if somehow resembles us, how do I justify that? But sometimes you just gotta let go and say, fuck it. I never heard of brown, scaly aliens.
It's all different types. There are ones with big noses.
There are ones that are, you know, you've got the tall whites. I know the grays and the tall whites.
But there's many style of aliens. There's many, many style of aliens.
A lot of the grays, they say, are robotic, but who fucking knows? I guess E.T.'s brown. He brown.
E.T.'s brown as hell. He's fake.
Yeah, but he's cool. You're right.
He's very cool. I wish he was real.
Now, that's so fucked up, though. He didn't say what the alien said.

That's the most important part of the story.

I guess he wasn't ready to have sex with that man enough.

Or the guy wasn't paying attention.

God, yeah.

He was just like wondering why. Nobody listens.

Why?

Can someone please?

Please?

Yeah, small brown scale.

What does it say here on Pinterest?

Yeah, I don't see a small brown alien.

I got to look at my.

I have an alien bucket on. I'm going to look at it.
So just guys, remember, wow. First one in, Eddie.
Yeah. First one in 2025 in.
2020, feeling good. Feeling, well, you're fine.
I'm feeling mediocre, to be honest with you. I'm about 80%.
But hey, can only go uphill from here. That's right.
So live every day known for a fact, you're at the bottom of a hill. You just got to fucking roll towards more of the bottom.
Honestly. Yeah.
Because sometimes you'd really like, you'd love the, you'd love the bottom. You never actually know how much fun you can have at the bottom.
Yeah. The very, very rock bottom.
Actually, once you get to the bottom, dig. Just be there for a while.
Just like, just roll that, right? But then laugh as you ascend because you know that yes.

Wheeze.

Wheeze.

Is that you know that you have technically made it worse for yourself.

But in the end, when you dig yourself out of a hole, people like you better.

That is so true.

Thursday.

That's right.

This Thursday, Hoopagoo Goo, the HGX2, coming to the LPN Twitch channel at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m.
Eastern. We got Jared Logan judging this week.
Love him. It's going to be amazing.
I'm very excited for the show. I love Hoopagoo-goo, our first one of 2025, the year that it all takes place.
Yes, and I can't wait. Are we not moving ahead of the year? No, we are.
It's 2026 in HoopagooGoo land now. Good, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
So thank you guys. Go to our Patreon.com slash Last Podcast Left to watch us.
F-Lopper Jaws. Go to Twitch.tv slash LPN TV to watch HoopagooGoo HGX2 and go to LastPodcastOnTheLeft.com to buy tickets to see us live.
We are going to be amazing. I promise you.
That's right. We're in Atlanta, Dallas, Nashville, Detroit, Toronto, and more to come.
Yeah, baby! We got some side story shows that are going to be announced soon. Oh, yeah.
I'm excited. We got a bunch of stuff coming down the pipe.
Y'all fucking love it. I'm sorry about Christmas that I got sick twice.
We are going to make it up next year. Yeah, we are going to or, you know, we'll find another.
We'll replace that date. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we'll replace that date sooner than Christmas. Oh, definitely.
We're definitely going to replace the Masonic launch date. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry about that. We had to cancel that.
That was a big... The LPN Funhouse gave us COVID.
Yes. And that's what happened.
Yep. But, hey, we're healed and all for the better for it.
Yeah. We can't necessarily tie it to that day, but I'm not going to...
Not. It had to have been that.
I mean, I don't know. Because I'm, you know...
Lard Humongous is COVID. No, he's not.
He's clean. He's the cleanest man.
Honestly, what I love about Lard is that he's so soft-spoken and nice.

And he's got a lovely wife.

You know what I mean?

I don't want to bust his character, but he's like...

He's so kind.

He's such a kind, sweet, gentle man.

You have to be to be that.

Yes.

Yeah.

Great fuckers.

Yeah.

All right, guys.

Love you.

Bye.