Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

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On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.
Side stories. Yes.
God, feeling good.

Yeah, you feel good?

Yeah, I just got that dookie, man.

That was a big one.

Dude, I almost had to call in Rob and be like, what do we do with this thing?

Oh, that's what happened?

Because they said that there was a 2.5 earthquake in Montecito.

Yeah, I know.

So I thought that's what it was.

I thought that that's what that rumble was.

Man, shit so big, I almost had to bite a Christmas present. Wow.
You know, honestly, what'd that shit do for you? Besides make you late to record. Make me feel fucking great.
I know. After the fact.
That shit was so big, I came. Wow.
What a great way to start our Christmas episode of Side Stories. This is lead up to Christmas.
This is, yeah. Honestly, it's still the godless December.
It's not Christmas yet. No, no, it's not Christmas yet.
This is godless December. These bills are due.
Taxes are coming. That's right.
Welcome to Side Stories. We have ads to do.
You must listen. You have to get them.
Do not skip. Actually, do whatever you want.
Do whatever you want. My name is Henry Zebrowski.
I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hello! I'm big! Hey, Henry, before we get started, we got a gift.
Remember, I went and saw my dentist today. Yeah, oh, and was she happy with you? She was happy because we did bleep her name out several times, but then I believe in the YouTube replay, we didn't.
Yes, I think that's what the problem was. Yes, because now she found out that she's a great dentist.
Wonderful dentist. Honestly, my teeth were a mess, now they're doing great.
Elegant woman. Yes.
Very picturesque woman. I met her.
And we were asking about the dental dam and whether it's good or good. Well, we were making fun.
We were making jibes. Well, she gave me some.
Would you like to see if maybe you want to bring this home? Well, let me just see if I can do this. She told me it was a gift for you.
Oh, for me? Well, there's only one here and we can't share. No, we cannot.
I will not share this with you. Clean it and bring it back.
Listen, if you lady in the tramp a dental dam, it's just two tramps. Here we go.
This is the, I feel like we could do, I've never used one of these before. No, no, no, no.
Yeah, you put it on there. Yeah, yeah, there you go.
Yeah, yeah. You got to lick it.

Yeah. Yeah, you got to push it.

Is it supposed to be romantic? Yeah, no, no.

You're creating the hole. You're supposed to go

into the hole, I believe.

Okay, all right. So this is

clean, right? Yeah, that's straight from the

dentist's office. It couldn't be more clean.

I'm going to put it over my Starbucks can.

All right. There it goes.

I think that works.

Oh, my God.

Is your Starbucks squirting?

I know you're clean, baby.

I know you're clean.

I just can't bring anything back to my wife.

I know.

I can tell you're clean, baby.

By the way you dance.

I know you're nice.

Oh, nice, tidy woman.

Oh, my God. that's your asshole.
What a great episode. Already.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Eddie said before the show, I got some dental dams. We could do some good material with that.
It was great. Hey.
Do you think you're not impressed by yourself? Robin Williams could never. You ever see it when he does it with the pashmina? No.
Where he goes inside the actor's studio and he takes the scarf from the woman and then he does five accents that we can't do anymore? Yeah. Everybody's favorite comedian.
Genius. Genius, genius man.
He was extremely funny. If you want to see bits like that, please come to Classy Night Out this Saturday.
We have ten tickets left. Yes.
All right? We have 10 tickets. It's going to be truly a very special night.
I bought two tickets because I was worried that we were going to run out before I could bring my friends. I'm excited.
We have people doing things they've never done before, people singing songs. It is a full holiday extravaganza.
I got a Christmas tree for the stage. It's going to be wonderful.
It's going to be a lot of fun, and I can't wait. Come on out, and also, check us out in Atlanta at the Coca-Cola Roxy.
January 11th. This show's going to be fucking awesome.
I can't wait for this show. There's still tickets left for that.
Our side story show in Atlanta sold out. So if you want to see us in Atlanta, you've got to go to the Coca-Cola Roxy and check out Last Podcast proper.
That's going to be on January 11th. Get those tickets.
Great Christmas present. I'll see you in Atlanta.
It's a good present. It's done for you already.
Yeah. You have a whole night.
You get to go up to, I believe it's in Marietta, which is outside of Atlanta. Technically.
It's far. It's a bit far.
It's a bit far. But it's definitely, you know.
But spend the evening out there. Yeah.
Don't drive drunk home. No.
Please don home No, drive drunk there Sober up during the show And fall asleep on the way home While you're looking for Don't drive drunk And now we're going to talk about the drones for a second Just for a little bit of a second Yeah, because Henry refuses to talk about it Well, nothing's going, Eddie. Yeah? What do you mean nothing's going on?

Don't you understand?

It's just planes.

Oh, yeah? And we're idiots.

You're a fat idiot.

I know.

I'm a getting fatter idiot.

Yes.

Post-fat re-fatting.

Getting back to fat again.

I'm in my Oprah Winfrey phase three.

Yeah, this is like the fourth episode in the sequel.

Yes.

It's the grand fattening of Henry Zebrowski. The final fattening, probably.
Hopefully. And why would I talk about something that's not happening? Yeah, well, because a lot of it apparently is done by humans.
Two people arrested for flying drones dangerously close to Boston Airport. Where they're stupid.
Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, what the fuck are you doing? They're literally trying to cause trouble. So the last last week, obviously, I went into we got we had a kind of a serious moment last week.
We talked about the the health care shooter. We talked about this actual serious problem.
Drones. But I do like and I am open to a human explanation.
We have said already, are these things flying all over the eastern seaboard? Well, my favorite thing is every time I see a news story about it, it's always like the government says most of them are human flown. It's and it's like most you can't say the word most.
They won't even give us the credit of lying to us anymore. They won't even just make up a reason of what's happening.
Just make it up. Because at this point, you're just saying, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what it is.
Oh, you don't know what it is? You don't know what it is. You shot a thing about over the tundras of Alaska.
You found a thing the size of a car in the middle of the sky and you shot it out of the sky instantly. We have no idea what the visible, what my fucking...
Well, you can't shoot this shit out of the sky. New Jersey is the most densely populated state in America.
You can't just be shooting shit out of the sky. It's going to kill somebody.
It's getting very complicated because over the last week since we've covered this, number one, we've had a full crash of one of these so-called drones. A couple crashes, right? Yes, in New Jersey neighborhoods.
A friend of mine, literally my friend Sandy, sent me a message saying like, look at this, literally blocks from the drone falling from the sky. Government came, scooped it up, nothing happened.
Must be commercial. We don't know.
They keep saying we don't know. If you watch all of this, I also am seeing a lot of debunking, which I actually truly appreciate because it's a very scary story.
And so there are a lot of people pointing out, especially if you go into any sort of aviation subreddit, they are showing that some of the stuff we are seeing, they are planes. There's planes.
Now people are staring up in the sky. They have loosened drone regulations around New Jersey.
So things are going up in the sky. Also, where a lot of this is happening in New Jersey is around these Air Force bases.
We have things flying in and out, maybe stuff we don't know. One great listener sent me an email, which I thought was interesting, is that you notice, number one, we don't hear from any professional drone operators.
There's nobody talking to people that run high and very, very large drones, right? So this guy, someone emailed me that works within the drone industry. And they said, I've worked with small publicly available drones, two very large, eight rotor drones capable of lifting large cinema cameras that are about six feet in diameter.
I've also seen those drones used for survey and geospatial work equipped with LIDAR and other sensory equipment. In my opinion, there's no way that these large drones that people are, that are just not just large drones that people are flying around.
Large drones have a very limited flight time, even without a payload. They use a very large LiPo battery, I guess at the size and weight of bricks, and they don't last very long.
Drones of this size have to come down for battery swaps often,

and the footage doesn't seem to reflect these short flight times. They aren't.
They're sticking up in the sky. We don't know what they are.
What I find really interesting is the fact that maybe, okay, FAA and drones. This is another one.
Great email that I do think is interesting. One thing that this guy puts on, which I think could be, right? It's like there's some stuff.
You you can go to MaimanAerospace.com, where you can see some of these more experimental, actual drones. And another one that is called the Terodynamics XP4 Transwing, which is a drone that is, it's kind of in the middle of being worked on right now, which I guess they're trying to say that this is a soft launch, that they're doing it in public, which they don't do.
But still, this concept of it's a drone that goes up and has rotors that switch for it to go horizontal or vertical. So the rotors themselves switch.
So the plane does it, the drone itself does change shape. So you could see maybe that explains why some of the things look like they're changing shape.
Yeah, I could see that. But again, now it seems like they're just throwing drones up willy-nilly.
One thing that's important to know is that with civilian drones, you literally, because most of them we get are from China, they cannot enter restricted airspace if you want them to. Yeah.
They fall down. They literally are built to not be able to go into protected airspace.
Oh, really? Yes. That's all.
They go up and they literally fall out of the sky. Anything you can just buy.
Like anything you can just buy on Amazon. Wow.
So they have like, what, GPS on them and like once you go somewhere You just, there are no no spots they can't go to. Interesting.
I never knew that. And that they are, that's why they fall down.
So that's also a wonder if people are just throwing them some up. But then there's a lot of talk about, is it Russian intelligence seeking? That's a big thing.
But why would they be testing it all the way over here? They'd be testing it over in fucking Bosnia or some shit. Because they're not, Eddie.
But that's literally one of those, I don't believe that. I don't believe that either.
And I'm looking for a human explanation. So what I did get was like, I actually really like this one.
This is really good. So I got someone, they work in the craft industry.
This is someone who works in the aerospace industry, manufacturing. The New Jersey stuff struck me differently for a few reasons.
The crafter sedan size, that's just smaller, the most fixed wing aircraft carrying people that they can carry people, but much larger than commercially available quadcopters and drones. While many UAP...
And the lights. This is what people are saying a lot of why they're misidentified as planes and people don't know what's going on.
While many UAP sightings have to do with the lights, the lights on this craft appear to be very much like conventional aircraft, specifically the red and green wingtip lights and forward landing lights.

So mostly drones don't have lights.

These ones are outfitted with lights that would maybe make you think it's a plane.

Almost like they're trying to disguise the fact that they are drones.

Or are they some kind of, this is the most wackadoo explanation, which is that they are some form of organic life that is looking and trying to look like a plane. Okay, that makes sense.
But that's also, that's the most far-flung ridiculous explanation. And this is what they're saying too, flight tracking.
The craft are real. We now know that.
Yeah. The stuff that's flying around is physical.
Why is it in the FAA? Not know. Why can't they just say we are unleashing, this is like a drone exercise.
They could just say whatever they want, but they won't.

They won't say what it is.

So that's the actual mystery here.

It is no longer whether these are aliens or not.

I don't know if they are aliens or not.

And actually, I don't think the answer particularly matters.

I think the only thing that matters now is so all this stuff's going on and you're just going to go up there and you're gaslightinging me yeah like the government's gaslighting us telling us we're crazy and they're like nothing's happening oh whatever and then you can see people on the internet absorb it right and they go like oh it's just plans everybody's stupid and you're like it's bigger than plans it is there's something happening we don't know what it is yeah rob i just sent you a um a thing on Instagram, if you want to say. I forgot.
I saved this video like a year ago for our stream, and I just remembered it while you were talking to me that this exists. And check a look at this.
Do you think that this could be what's going on? There's these drones. It's called the Jetson 1.
Oh, I thought you were going to send me something that was just like a big, like old gay man sucking his own dick. Oh, yeah.
Well, that's what my boys from Florida have been sending me. It's like, oh, they got another drone.
It's just like the guy with the huge dick. Yeah, yeah.
I do like that, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that. It's some misinformation.
What happened to Lemon Party? It's still out there, right? So this is the first affordable EV toll on the market. No pilot's license required in the U.S.
Look at this thing. This could be something that we're seeing.
This is sedan-sized. It's got no fucking lights on it.
Well, I mean, lights are easy to attach. Why? Why? Why does it have no lights? I mean, it's also during the day.
These things are solid. You don't see a person inside of them.
We'll talk about this. I think it's, I do think that what I, this is also like a year and a half ago.
Our aerospace engineer listener who sent us that email does say, which I do believe, the government is constantly working on a series of flying craft that don't look like stuff we're used to seeing. Yeah.
So there could be some of that. I feel like now, to be honest, they're just throwing stuff up in the sky.
Oh, well, now everyone is. Now everybody is.
So now, just like the Luigi Mangione story, it's just another story that is entering into the ass end of the news cycle and will be, it's just going to be over. Do you think we'll still be talking about this in 2025? If it's still happening, which it might be, because it's not stopping.
And it continues to actually spread and get weirder. Well, it's all over the country now.
It is all over the country. They've been seeing it in California, they've been seeing it in New Mexico.
I have emails from Arizona, Ohio, Portland, Washington, D.C., Arizona. Ohio's the aviation capital of America.
Yes. I have been- You know, the Wright brothers are from Ohio.
North Carolina tries to claim them because that's where the flight was, but the Wright brothers are from Ohio. I like the Wrong Brothers better.
I bet you do. Yeah, because they invented shit.
Cornholing. Yeah, they love it.
Yeah, yeah. Ben pulling a man's pants down while he's just sleeping in his asshole.
I love the wrong brother. Yeah! Alright, but those are the ones that first told me about a dental dam.
Because they never used them. Was that cherry flavored? You know, it did have a cherry flavor but I think my gums are bleeding.
We have another update. We're going to get out of here.
We're going to get out of this thing. Also, I will say, I know that we're in the pocket with something like the Luigi Mangione story when we get angry emails from both sides.
That's how we know we're good. Like, we're right in there, which is good.
Literally, everyone's just like, you can't support him. You have to support him.
It's so funny. Nihilistic.
I'm a broadcaster. I am on nobody's team but my own.
And so one of those. And that's just that.
I'm'all know me. But I will say I'm happy for the people that have sent me emails that are just people that are receptionists at these various healthcare places that are the ones receiving the brunt of the death threats.
As you can see, they're setting up, the NYPD is setting up their own hotline for CEOs to call just in case they're scared. Because you don't want a CEO to be scared.
Oh my God, you should be calling. You're a CEO.
I've been calling everyone I can. You should call.
Don't label me with that. I'm not a CEO.
I'm a grassroots mayor. I'm a mayor of podcasting.
Is some guy with a shitty podcast going to come off you? No. No.
You don't know. You never know.

You never know, Eddie.

You really don't.

Oh, let's up your security.

I want some real security in this fucking place.

Do we need more death threats?

Oh, my God.

I would love some guns around the place.

I mean, well, you know, everyone's saying no.

Everyone's told me.

Rob's got finger guns.

He's saying yes.

I don't want guns.

I want robotic dogs.

I want the Boston Dynamic Dog. That's what I want.
That's a great idea. I've been asking.
It's adorable. It doesn't cost that much money.
But it's just know, remember when you're, the people that are getting the death threats are not who you want them to be. Yeah, they don't go up.
It doesn't go up the pipe. Yeah, they just go sideways straight to the police.
Yes, and they are. Just know that.
Yeah. I's only $74,000 for the Boston Dynamics dog.
$74,000. Dude, we could all, as a company, I'll garner some wages.
Listen, Rob. It's just for one month.
I'll garner some wages. I got two grand on it.
We'll all do it. Yeah, we'll all throw money in.
And we buy one dog, and that protects the network. It protects all.
Can it go up and down stairs? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
All right. It's getting bound.
It makes big leaps. Very frightening.
It won't fuck with my dog. Oh yes, it will kill everyone.
It's going to kill everyone. That's what I like.
I want to be killed by my pet. That is my dream.
They should have gave it a head. Maybe you don't want to give the robot dog a head.
Sometimes you start treating it like a dog dog. No, there's a head.
It's a rifle. Oh, there we go.
Isn't that nice and that cute? It's got a head. Maybe you don't want to give the robot dog a head.
Yeah, sometimes you give it a head. Treating it like a dog dog.
No, there's a head. It's a rifle.
Oh, there we go. Isn't that nice and that cute? Look at that.
Oh, cute. Oh, wow.
A little gum. He's got a little gum there.
Oh, no, that's an arm attachment so you can grab at people. Oh, that's great.
Right at crotch level. Yeah.
All right, let's do more updates. Yeah.
Oh, you got more updates? This story at first was kind of a dumb story. Okay.
But now that the details are out, I fucking love this story. This gentleman, he tried to fake his own death.
Oh, okay. Yeah, the guy in the lake with the canoe.
And he ran off to Uzbekistan and he tried to give his family the money. So when it all went away, right? So Ryan Borgwart, he faked his own death.
Horrible name. He's a Wisconsin kayaker.
And he had faked his own death. At first, there was rumors that it was a rumor that he might have gone to Uzbekistan to be with the woman that he had found online.
And it seems that that is true. It did true.
They ended up negotiating with this man through the police got in contact with him as he had left. So he had faked his own death.
And for reasons unknown, they have not released the reasons. He said that's up to the man himself, too.
But he did voluntarily return to the United States and get abducted. He got arrested on obstruction of justice charges and $500 bond, like nothing.

But is that the crime?

Is that the name of the crime?

Yes.

Faking your own death obstruction of justice.

Yeah.

Obstruction.

Because what you're doing is making them, they spent like 35 grand on the, you got to

pay that shit back.

You do.

Or that gets kind of later.

You might get some, you might get some jail time.

You might get some, like, there's a lot of ways to go about it. I know he's, one thing he's not getting is his family back.
Because he fucked it up. So he was married with kids.
And if you just hear, I just, now we have the details of how he made this plan. And this is a man.
And I will, we've said this on the show before. And I will give this man credit for not killing his family.
He did not kill his family. He didn't kill his family.
We do know that about them. We can say that this man did not kill his family.
And that is good. And hard to do.
What? Not kill your family. Every day.
My mother's been here. My mother's been here for six days.
All right. I wanted to literally crucify her.
Yeah. Luckily, I'm an only child.
But I love her. I love her to death.
And honestly, Mom, we had a great time. Yeah.
She was great. I had a wonderful time with your mom.
We had a really, really good time. Gay men's chorus.
Wonderful. Where were the wives on that? I don't know.
Wait, what did the gay men's chorus? I don't understand. I mean, I get Christmas makes us all happy.
Yeah. But why? Where are the women? Yeah.
And what's up with the line for the men's room? I don't know. Where are the women? I love seeing gay men all get together because I love hearing laughter.
Yeah. Right? Because what makes people more gay than the holidays? And they were hairy-chested, strong.
Like, you could tell they're, like, working out athletes. Yeah.
Where were the women? Where were their wives? Yeah, we're at the cheering section. Incredible show.

Incredible show.

And yeah, wow.

What a Christmas experience I've had.

I've had so much Christmas in the last five days.

I never want to see a jingle bell again.

But we got eight days left.

Yeah, I can see you getting shingle bells this year.

Fucking it's on its way.

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And so let's go back to the story. So this guy, for the amount of energy he put into this, he probably could have done a lot, but it was pretty fucking, this guy really went for it.
So he looked into what happens when you drown. And what are the circumstances by which people drown in a lake.
And he realized, he's like, oh, I'm going to do this. I got an idea.
I got a little idea. So he attended church with his family on the morning of August 11th.
To pray for death. Oh, he had to.
He had to go pretend to be, you know, a father. Dear God, please let me get away with faking my own death.
Please let me disappear. Please make me a bird so I can fly far away from here.
And so he put his plan into motion that night, telling his family he's going on a solo kayaking trip because that's what fathers do. So he drove 50 miles from his home in Watertown to Green Lake, right? So then he said he picked Green Lake because this is how much research he did was that it was the deepest lake in Wisconsin.
Okay. That's a great reason.
He knows what to do. So he paddles, kayaks to the middle of the lake, brought a raft, inflamed to the raft, gets out of the kayak, into the raft, overturns the kayak, sinks it, knocks a hole in it, sinks it to the bottom.
He then paddles back to the shore in the raft. He dumps his cell phone in a tackle box with his license and all this shit.
I didn't know how he did this, right? In tackle box, dumps it back in the rake, in the lake. He's been so afraid.
So far, so good. Absolutely.
He's so afraid because now he's had to walk out of the lake and waste deep muck that then he has to crawl on his belly and almost snow angel style mix up all the mud. Well, yeah, because you can't have the footprints.
None. So he then, he had positioned, so before this, he had put an electronic bike in the woods on the other side of the lake.
And so he got his electronic bike covered in mud. Only in Wisconsin that wouldn't get stolen.
Dude goes, takes his bike 70 miles all night. He bikes all night to Madison.
Then he caught a bus to Toronto. Oh, I'm doing it, baby.
Oh, I got it. I'm coming.
Oh, the bike's moving, moving. I'm coming, Ulia.
I'm coming, Ulia. And so he fucking, he goes, he gets on a bus to Toronto.
Somehow, this is the power of Uzbekistan pussy. He talked his way through customs.
I mean, it's easy to talk your way into Canada. How? He had no passport.
He had no driver's license. Hey, it's me.
I'm good for it. Tim Hortons.
And then he's like, Tim Hortons, you must be Canadian.

Oh, you gotta be.

And so he, I don't know how the fuck he got through.

I don't know how he did it.

I mean, fire that guy.

Dude, well, it's just, I mean.

You have to.

I think that's. Right?

You ever seen the movie Greenland?

No.

The whole dumb ass movie.

I like that movie.

People tell me I look like Gerard Butler.

Who, blind people? Right in the side stories lpotl at gmail.com. Let me know if I look like Gerard Butler.
That's all. That movie.
Hold on, let me give him a mean face. Whoa, yeah, that is attractive.
That is more yeah, sort of. Yeah, you look like if he was sick, in a way.
The pestilence must be safe. I think that is safe.
You're him in the off-season. The White House has been exploded.
Yes, and they're coming. The next thing they're coming for.
The next thing they're coming for is the Space Needle. We've got to protect the Space Needle.
That's my Gerard Butler. But that whole shit fuck movie is all about how like the world's ending.

It's all this thing.

But he somehow talks this.

It's like the whole world stops to save this one white family.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's like the whole world has to revolve around Gerard Butler.

All these fucking movies.

It's just like, what will happen to his son?

I don't know, bro.

Eight billion people are going to fucking die.

And then he takes it. He gets you.
Spoiler. Sorry, guys.
No, I spoil it. He convinces them to bring his son in.
He sneaks his son in, realizing, but also the whole reason why they didn't want his son to come in was because he had diabetes. He was going to die immediately because there was no medicine.
So he just brought him to die. Yep.
That's it. No medicine in Greenland.
But that's what this guy did in Canada at the border. You know, he's sitting there being like, I got to get through there.
You don't know what the fucking, you don't know what I got to do, man. I got to save Uzbekistan.
All right. So then he flew to Paris.
Romantic. And then he flew to an unspecified country in Asia.
And that's where this lucky lady picked him up. You know, apparently they spent a a hotel and then they took up in their, you know, everyone wants to go on a romantic, romantic vacation to the war torn country of Georgia.
Yes. And so he went to Georgia, which is now y'all notice too, in New York city, there's a lot of that.
Now people doing a lot of the Ukrainian food and the Georgian food and it is And it is interesting. It is its own thing.
But it's definitely weird to see a bunch of, like, hip, like, New York fashion people eat stuff like grark. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean? Where it's just, like, potato beet stew. Yeah, just, like, caviar and eel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, like, very strange.
But so he goes to Georgia. And now this is when they started to realize, he realized his story went national.
The investigators, they contacted board work through the information they found on a laptop he left behind, including a photo of the woman he traveled to meet. He told investigators he had to leave the laptop to make his death believable, but then he did leave too much money on it.
But I will say, good guy alert. What did he do? He set up, before he faked his own death, he set up a life insurance policy for $375,000 for his family.
Okay. This is, again, he's an idiot.
This man is a criminal idiot. But at least he had half a conscience.
He tried. He did.
He is abandoning his family. This is so funny.
He is abandoning, we will, I will say. He's straight up abandoning his family.
This is how Flo the Bar is. Yeah.
Right. Right.
It's just like he didn't kill him. All right.
Which I think is really nice. We're proud of you.
We're really proud of you. We're proud of you.
And so they said they look for his body for a month, which is also, and this is really a story about depression too, because Borgwart, he even said. Fuck this guy's name.
It's so funny. But he literally said, I didn't think they'd look for me that long.
No, man. Nah.
Sorry, bro. We're all accountable, bro.
You're mattered to your family, dude. Sorry, that's a boner killer.
I get it. Not even your family.
You mattered to the government and the insurance company you're trying to fuck. Yes.
The insurance company is going to find your fucking ass. Want to see your skeleton.
They want to see. If you know anything about insurance companies, buddy, and we've all learned something that nothing matters unless you're a corpse to them.
And so that's all they gave a shit, dude. Again, this is a...

It's so funny, honey.

It's literally another example.

It's the health insurance is what caught him.

Yeah.

The health insurance.

The life insurance.

The life insurance is what caught him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so he is just...

But he did try.

He did try.

But the worst part...

Yeah, it just didn't work out.

And I don't think it worked out with the girl. Oh, with her? I mean, obviously it didn't.
He's back. Yeah.
She probably took whatever money he had. And he said, I'm very sorry.
And he's apologized to his wife. He's lucky he fucking woke up with his organs.
You know, I just think sometimes you meet an Uzbekistan scammer lady that probably looks very different in person. She deserves a raise.
Whoa. She pulled an American out.
I mean, that was like, that, I mean, she could mastermind this whole fucking thing. You know he shows up, but she's got three other of them.
Like, you know, like, that's how it always is. There's like three.
You ever see the story about the guy? It's a really fucked up story about this young dude. Gifted kid.
I forget what it was. It's just like he essentially gave all of his parents' money to this OnlyFans girl in Eastern Europe.
And then when they cut him off, he killed the whole family, right? So he killed everybody because they cut off his money spigot to this OnlyFans girl. And then he cuts to the video of him talking to this lady in Eastern Europe and him explaining about like, he's crying about how he wishes that they could be together and stuff and she goes oh sorry you know like she doesn't give a fuck like you're just guy nine that she has watched kill her family while she just bored hangs out in juicy couture like it's just it's just men it's rough out there for guys.
This is, oh yeah. The grant Amato family annihilator, this fucking guy.
It's just, I love it. I love our OnlyFans ladies.
I just got to know guys, you're paying for them to like you. All right.
Just as the whole thing is that they don't love you. I love you.
I love us. And I love the arrangement, but just to remember.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's. With porn, before OnlyFans, it was like there was a you removed from the actual stars.
And now like everyone like thinks they know and they're in these relationships with these people. Parasocial relationships.
It's very dangerous for them. It's nice because it gives them a little bit more autonomy and they don't have to necessarily deal with predatory pornography companies.
I feel it's great that it gives them that sense of control, but then the problem is it's you and the customer. Yeah, every time you're giving sexual relief to someone who's sexually oppressed, it's going to be a disaster at some point.
That's why. Just make them come real fast.
That's the whole idea. Make them get them out.
Just get the first. We all know.
My first batch of devils that have to come out of me every day is necessary. Right? That first evil batch has to come out.
Right? So that's what you got to do. You just squirt them out real fast.
Then we can have a reasonable conversation. Yeah.
Absolutely. Let's get some new news.
Well, yeah. Well, while we're on the topic of family annihilators, there's a quick one.
I might as well stick with it. Oh, wow.
great. A 16-year-old boy.
Just like Christmas. Just like Christmas.
Oh, man. Well, I'm sorry I giggled.
A 16-year-old boy murdered four family members in New Mexico this past weekend, and he is charged with first-degree murder. Did they deserve it? Doesn't seem like they did.
They don't say that in the article? There's not enough journalistic integrity to say whether the family deserved it or not, Henry. This is what happens when AI writes everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So New Mexico State Police announced that four bodies had been found in a Valencia County home on the previous day.
The victims were fatally gunned down. And the 16-year-old boy has been arrested in connection to those deaths.
Diego Leyva, who informed a 911 dispatcher that he had recently killed his family. Hey, at least he's honest about it.
Yeah, no, I mean, he... It helps everybody get it wrapped up quick.
No, this is definitely wrapped up quick. When deputies arrived diego walked out of the of the belaine residence with his hands in the air and was extremely intoxicated um it's the police statement notes uh do you think he did that no before i come out yeah no they But they took him into custody without incident, and the authorities, when they entered the residence, found a handgun on the kitchen table and four individuals dead.
42-year-old Leonardo Leyva, Adriana Bencoma, 35, who was a local volunteer firefighter, and Adrian Leyva and Alexander Leyva, 16 and

14, were also found, I guess, executed is the word.

Funny story, Eddie.

Yeah, well, it's not a funny story.

I just feel like we talk about all family annihilations here on the show.

We do, and there's been a bunch of them.

You notice that they come in waves.

And also was a 16-year-old recently that we talked about that was in Seattle that killed

his family.

They come in waves.

Right outside of Seattle. And family annihilation also skyrockets during the holidays.
Wonder why. Yes.
But he was brought to the hospital until he sobered up and now is booked in Albuquerque's Juvenile Justice Center. More information is coming.
Now, they immediately put him juvenile, I guess. For 16, 16's kind of on the edge.
I mean, well, 18's

the limit. But normally 16, sometimes

he'll pop you right into adult jail.

If you kill a lot of people. Kill your family.
Yeah, yeah, they put you right into

But, I mean, what, is that really gonna make

life better? Like, if you put this

like 16-year-old into fucking gen

pop? No, it just makes him a worse criminal

eventually. I mean, eventually, yeah, you just, I mean,

well, he's never getting out. No.
No, he's

never getting out. By the way, Missouri

almost had a people to execute.

Isn't that nice? Whoa, we're getting

And so... criminal eventually.
I mean, eventually, yeah, you just I mean, well, he's never getting out. No.
No, he's never getting out. By the way, Missouri almost had a people to execute.

Isn't that nice? Whoa, we're getting

to the bottom. Yeah, yeah, there's only eight people

left on death row in Missouri.

You know, I feel like this might be

controversial, but just get all

the last of them in one go.

Just blow them up.

You know what I mean? Just because it might be controversial. I don't know.

Is that controversial? You know because it might be controversial. I don't know.
Is that controversial?

You know, it might be a hair.

I'm feeling evil today.

Yeah, apparently.

I don't believe in the death penalty, and y'all know that.

Yes.

No, of course.

Y'all know that. The only people that should be killed are audiences.

Yeah.

He wants everyone released.

No laws.

Chaos reigns.

Yes, everybody.

Rule of strength.

Rule of wits.

How is your new Antifa leadership going?

Honestly, it's been really hard getting these guys together.

Because you know what it is about these Zoomers is they don't show up on time.

Yeah.

And the revolution has just been difficult to get started. I joined Uncle Tifa.
Oh, joined Uncle Tifa We go after a bunch of nephews Alright this story I want to talk about this story This is pretty fucking This is frightening This is the guy waiting Oh the Nebraska one? This is really cool I actually have up too right now. It blew my mind.
This is very strange. So this is Bennington, Nebraska.
This is a weird mystery that's happening. It's happening involving multiple drivers involved in three separate crashes on Highway 36 in Bennington say the same man was the first person to arrive at the crash site and offer help.
So all of these strangers, all of the crashes involved the vehicles hitting an object that was put in the middle of the roadway. Straight up in the middle.
That was just in the roadway. Like a child's bicycle was one of them.
Yes. And now we're wondering if they were put there on purpose.
So this guy, Garrison Beach, he was cresting a hill while driving on Highway 36. He was in the dark.
He swerved to avoid what looks like a large piece of metal in the middle of the roadway. And so what he did was he swung and he overcorrected getting around it.
And his car went off the fucking bridge into a ravine. They were thankfully OK.
Yeah. But he said that he notices they drove past the bridge, there was a man right before the bridge sitting in a car with no headlights on.

And as they got up looking for help, he looked up and he saw the headlights turn on.

And this guy gets out and he says, hey, you guys need any help?

I called the paramedics.

I called the paramedics.

You guys need any help?

You want to come wait in my car?

And that was the thing.

He said, come up in my car.

Come in my car.

Come up in my car.

Don't you want to come in my car?

Right? It's cold out. It's cold.

It's cold, shivering, huh? Covered in blood.

I got napkins. Want to come in

my car? And so they said, no,

no thanks. And he just

apparently went like, alright, and went

back to his car. And then drove off.

Yes. No, yes, he did drove off.

Yeah. Right? And so, startles, they,

what happened, right? So, the next thing that happened was that a guy, Kyle Sorensen, he hits a bike.

The middle left, in the center, the same highway.

As I look at my rear view mirror, this is according to Kyle Sorensen, I saw someone just sitting there.

North, just north of Pawnee Road.

They pulled up behind me and it was this individual saying he was checking to make sure I was okay.

Seeing little damage to his vehicle, Kyle left.

But look at that. just north of Pawnee Road.
They pulled up behind me, and it was this individual saying he was checking to make sure I was okay. Seeing little damage to his vehicle, Kyle left.
But later, near the same place, along the highway, his wife spotted the same man behind another car that was just leaking oil on the side of the highway. In two weeks, according to Sorensen, this has been three incidents where he was immediately the first person on the scene.
It seems strange. Now, the one thing that comes to my mind is, remember the movie Crash? He must be shady as fuck.
Yes. If, like, all three times people in dire need crash in a ravine.
And they're like, no thanks. Yeah, we're good.
Thank you. I'll stay in the cold.
No, thank you. I like Nebraska's warm.
Dude, he's got, like, branches. He's long legs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the guy going like, hi! Would you like to win my car? Yeah! It's nice! I got my cats in there! You know, like, cuckoo! You know, actually, we're good.
I actually like it out here where this object is burning. My car's so warm! Yeah, I bet it is.
No, I like the snow in my blood. Would you like to taste my knife? No, you know what? Honestly, normally I totally would.
There's chocolate on my knife. Sorry, no, honestly, I'm totally busy.
There's special chocolate. Listen, I'm late to my KKK meeting.
I can't do this. Get away from me, sir.
But these guys are, I don't know what's, this is a very creepy. It's just creepy because right now we don't know what it is.
Have you ever seen the movie Crash? Yes. With David Cronenberg? Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's the awful race matters one. The one that's about people that get into car crashes on purpose to have sexual gratification.
They fuck each other in cars. I've heard of it.
I've never watched it. It's weird.
Yeah. You'd like it.
Okay, sure. Do you like David Cronenberg? I love David Cronenberg.
Then you'd like it. It's a bit...
it's fucking dark. It's very fucked up.
You know what's really good is the book. Is that Lance Hendrickson? Is that Lance Hendrickson? I don't know.
If it is, I'm in. Yeah, it might be.
Yeah, he's sucking on her wound or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Different strokes. And so that, I wonder if that, could he be sexually attracted to the cars? Could he be looking for broken parts from a car?

Could they be trying to go get help and he's trying to steal parts from the car? Or is

he a rampant murderer?

Serial killer. I don't know.

Could be anything. That's what's fun.
He seems like a

aspiring murderer.

Maybe he just likes crashes. He has a plan.

He could be just

kind of like... Or if he just wants to be

a hero. He could be a forest weirdo.

Yeah, there's plenty of those people. Remember the firefighters

that lit the Gatlinburg fire

I don't know what he's done. By the way, if a chimney sweep can't get out of this thing, I don't know who can.
Dude, I saw the video, and I was just like, I thought you would chim-chimney your way out of here. I guess magic isn't real.
I guess... Nope, he didn't.
All right, so we got... All right, these are these stories.
So nobody... We don't know what's going to happen.
We're obviously, maybe we'll get an update on these, but this is a very, it's just strange. And if you do listen, and you are the person, stop putting shit in the road.
Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. I got a bunch of ideas of what you could put in the road, though.
Yes! What would you put in the road? Weed. Oh, man, you can't waste that shit, man.
Can't waste that shit, man. That's God's gift.
That's Ja, dude. I can't fucking give that up, dog.
Oh, man. You can't waste that shit, man.
Yeah, well. You can't waste that shit, man.
That's God's gift. That's Ja, dude.
Ja. I can't fucking give that up, dog.
Oh, man. I was watching a bunch of stuff on Rasta's the other day.
Oh, I love them. They're very interesting.
Have you ever met them? They're very, surprisingly violent. They're very intense.
Yes. Very intense.
And I was reading this one guy, he's been working on his lock his whole life. But that weed that they're smoking in some of those Rasta communities, I feel like he would hospitalize me.
Well. Like it's a tar, right? Is it good weed? Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com.
Do Rastafarians smoke the best weed? No. I'm going to say no.
I will find out. I think that they smoke, what, Jamaican red.
I also did not know that Rastafarianism was actually quite new.

Yes, so was Jamaica.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I learned a lot of stuff.

As a country, the land has always existed, at least for a couple billion years.

Thank you, Mr. Scientist.
No problem.

Thank you.

Oh, how far back do we have to go?

No problem, Dr. Asshole.

Mr. Geologist.

We don't want your geologist friend yelling at us again.

No, Ellie, I'm sorry.

Let's go. do we have to go? No problem, Dr.
Asshole. Mr.
Geologist. All right, watch your geologist friend

yelling at us again. No, Ellie, I'm sorry.

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All right. Do you want to then talk about

this next one? I don't know which one you're

pointing at because I got the couple who was

divorced 12 times. I got the hole

one. Oh, I love the hole.
Let's do

holes. Let's just look at this real quick.
We got a double

up hole story. For those of you

who love using your two holes,

today the hole

business is good.

So,

if the hole business is

catching people,

I don't know. Today, the whole business is good.
So, if the whole business is catching people, then business is definitely booming. Oh, yes.
Tell us about your person catching a hole. So, a two-year-old fell into a septic tank.
Oh. Now, two-year-old fell into a deep daycare train, trapped inside for an hour while teachers signed her out of class.
I hate when kids are always playing Shawshank. Came out through a river ship and came out clean on the other side.
Now, according to the lawsuit, this girl, identified only as A.B., was a student at Children's Lighthouse, a daycare in Prosper. This is a suburb of Dallas.
I looked up Children's Lighthouse and they keep comparing themselves

to Montessori schools, right?

Like, I guess it was a Montessori school.

And it sees here, like, you know,

but one of the things that says,

you know, it says,

what Lighthouse has

is a modern curriculum design

based on current brain research

versus the Montessori approach,

which is approach ROM 1906

to educate orphan children

developing domestic skills.

And then according here,

the Lighthouse Pathways,

what they have is a 15-foot shit-filled hole.

And Montessori doesn't.

Oh, see, I think they put the sorry in Montessori.

Have you ever seen we dropped your kid in a puddle of shit?

This is not a money.

Montessoris are actually innocent in this.

They're innocent.

Yes, yes.

They put lids on their shitholes.

They do.

So on the afternoon of November 1st, the girl was out on the playground with the other children.

She fell into a hole.

The cover, which said, danger, do not enter fatal poison gas.

But two years old, can't read.

Can't read.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Sorry about that.

I guess they needed adults to do that for her.

Yeah.

So the cover said, danger, do not enter fatal poison gas. It flipped anything that might have been flipped over or was replaced.
Someone getting huffed. Oh, yeah.
But someone put a cap right on top of where the child was. Now, defendants were responsible for assuring the premises were safe, especially knowing full well the children's ages 2 to 6 were present and active on the premises.
And at some point, about.m the teacher took the children inside and unknowingly left a b inside the cover hole to pay to fend to quote unquote fend for herself now one he checked her out of the i guess they now in school what they do is which i did not know talk about the this is it's what a sad state we're in which is at the of every class, I believe now they have to online click in their attendance.

And that if you don't make a class, it then sends a notification to your parents.

So what it'll do is that they click you in automatically.

And so their parents got a message saying the girl had been checked out of the room in the middle of the day.

And her father said, what was going on?

Why wasn't she in there?

And some person not named answered the phone. They to be they think it was the owner angelo wolf and she said oh that was a glitch kids definitely here gotta be here yeah um and so the father had his wife head to the daycare to check on his daughter and that's when they realized she was nowhere to be seen and that that's when they found her in what they're called a big, watery, swampy mess of fecal matter and all other kinds of things.
Because she'd fallen into what they called a drain next to the splash pad. But the lawyers say, it's a septic tank.
Yeah. And so she was flopping around in there.
She was cold to the touch, shivering. Her lips were blue.
Her fingernails were blue. Poor girl.
No one likes that. No one wants to turn into Veruca Salt.
The hole was filled with dirty, cold water. But she said, the takeer employees were like, hey, she was only there for five or ten minutes.
Okay. That's what they were trying to say.
Yeah, she was in a septic tank. Five minutes.
Anybody can do it. I'll go to a septic tank for five minutes.

How much is this going to cost us?

Further investigation

revealed the girl was trapped for probably

closer to an hour.

Yes, and another student told the teacher

responsible. Oh, yes, and the teacher

just straight up took another child's

word for it when her friend

said her father had came and picked her up.

Wow. Because the kid didn't know.
And they said you could hear her screaming coming from the pipe. But we should be so lucky.
Because at least this little girl was found an hour later. Yes.
Because she's not dookie. They realized she wasn't a dookie.
This school's going to be over. Oh, yeah.
No, I mean, it's not even a school. It's a daycare.
Yeah, it's Texas, so they don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we'll see. But she is technically the lucky one.
Yes, because in Calgary, a man spent three days stuck in a well. Stuck in a well.
Stuck, fell down a well. And why, Eddie, why was he stuck in this well? 22-year-old man stuck at the bottom of a 12-meter deep well.
36 feet. That's deep.
That is a long... It's a big old well.
And he's down there and he's screaming, help, help, I'm stuck in the well. Get me out of the well.
And you know why people didn't help him even though they heard it? They thought he was a ghost. Dude.
They just start like... They wouldn't even entertain the option.
That a human was caught in the well. Don't fucking go anywhere near there, man.
Don't go near that hole, man. You know where that shit is, dude.
Ghosts are always trying to yell you into a hole, man. Don't fucking go anywhere near.
You know what's a ghost, dude? All they want is company. That's all they want to do.
They just want roommates, man. Lu Chuni, a young Chinese national, was doing the forest on the border between Thailand and Myanmar.
Oh, so this wasn't in Calgary. It was just coming from a Calgary news site.
Between Thailand and Myanmar, somehow fell into an abandoned well on the outskirts of a small village. They said he was trekking through the woods when he fell into the 12-meter deep hole, sustaining serious injuries.
I'm not a ghost! A fractured wrist, a cerebral concussion, and he started to yell for help as loudly as he could, but hours passed, days passed. Oh yeah, he said he was running out of energy.
He said he was like, I need to conserve my energy. So he was like, once an hour I'll yell for help.
And so he waits, and then it was like once every five hours. And he's like, I'll yell for help now.
Meanwhile, like all his help started to... Nearby villagers stayed away because they're afraid of being attacked by spirits.
Now, imagine if... You get out and that's the reason? You're like, everyone fucking heard me? Oh, yeah, dude.
First, I'd be like, oh my God, that's the most solid ghost I've ever seen. Yeah, because you would be excited to see a ghost.

Of course.

Oh, hey there, ghost.

I'd say hello to the ghost.

And then he's not a ghost.

But it's also like, what if they just fill in and in?

Oh no.

Can you hear me?

I'm not a ghost.

Oh, that's what a ghost would say.

It only took 30 minutes for him to get out of the well.

But he was very emancipated. Emaciated.
Emaciated. He was emancipated from the well.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, but three days without food and water. Should be well if there's no water, by the way.
Absolutely, and that's a really good way. Now, what's nice about the mother of that child is what they can do from then on.
The one that got caught in the septic tank. And you're like, well, some people in Thailand get caught in a well for three days.
Yeah, you were just in a pile of shit for an hour. I've just been around my mom for so long, because that's how you turn a tragedy into somebody has done something wrong.
It's called a New York mother's mindset. Oh, I'll show you.
Oh, Mr. Fell in a well.

Oh, I was in a well for seven days.

And I had nothing.

I didn't have my blood pressure medication.

I didn't have my embroidery.

What did you do?

I was raped by a mayor.

He's in charge.

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Oh, mister, I was in a well for an hour. Oh, mister, I was cold.
I was covered in shit. I don't know why that made me laugh.
All right. A couple who was married and divorced 12 times in 43 years are investigated for fraud.
This is, they found. This is love.
This is true love, and this Austrian couple found a crazy-ass loophole to, I don't know how much I agree or disagree with this. Let's talk about it.
Yeah, what is the loophole? Alright, so, Vienna, Austria, these people were divorced 12 times in a period of 43 years. The truth is

the elderly couple is suspected of having

arranged every divorce strictly

on paper so the wife could

receive 27,000

euros severance pay

she was awarded after her

first husband's death in

1981. See, in Austria

if your husband dies

and you're a widow, they give you a payout every three years whoa it's like a nice thing yeah it's nice it's called what that's a liberal country yeah yeah it's but when she got married again every time that this three years was about to come up her and her husband who everyone knew and loved and knew them as a couple they would secretly get divorced on paper, collect the money, and then get remarried right afterwards. Honestly, this is so romantic.
Yes. That, like, it's just, not only, it's so nice because you get the fucking, what's this, but you get the other weddings, you get to do it again, and you're celebrating your love.
This must be, like, also think about as a married, if, like, of all all of my other marriage out there, you're trying to kind of figure out, right, like, what do we do together sometimes? Like, what's up we can do together? And like, insurance fraud? Yeah. That's a lot of work.
I mean, this is why 13 is an unlucky number. Because this is how many times they had to do it until they finally got caught.
Well, they're both old now, too, right?

Oh, yeah.

No, absolutely.

They're really going to arrest these guys.

They already made a whole career out of it.

They are figuring it out,

but it seems to me like what they did was legal.

Well, yeah, it's a loophole.

It's a loophole, but there's still being...

It's like getting fucked in your butt

so you can keep your pussy virginity.

Yes, I guess. Yeah, Henry, it's exactly the same.
But they... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha changing the laws so you can't do this anymore.
That's the thing. That's the reason why they have the warnings and the changes that they do.
You know what I mean? That's why every single... How many stupid warnings you see on a hair dryer or just don't use in bath.
Because it's happened so many times that people died doing something stupid that eventually you have to do it. These are why there are loopholes.
And then they got to try to get them. Well, the investigation revealing that what their case is, they're saying they never moved.
They always shared the same household, cooked together, and even shared the same bed the whole time, and they have proof of it. So they're saying that they never actually got divorced.
That's so cute. It's very cute.
That's so, that's true. Love, can you imagine that? Because also, like, it's kind of sexy, right? Like, you just got fake divorced from your wife who you're still in love with.
I mean, it's really not that much money. It's $30,000.
It's $10,000 a year. I mean, you know, it's good money.
To be paid to love. Yeah.
You know, that's enough. You know, think about that.
Think how sexy that is. It's a nice little bonus.
You're fake divorced for a little while. And so it's like, then you can kind of cheat on each other with each other.
Yeah. And then you can kind of do the thing where like, ooh, well, I'm single.
Or like, ooh, we're divorced. We shouldn't do this.
Like, that's fucking awesome, right? That's hot. They received- And they must look like little sausages.
They're from Vienna. $341,000 in severance payments over 43 years.
You know, it's just government money. It was going to be spent anyway.
Yeah. Right? I don't really see the victim here.
I don't know where the victim is. That's the reason why I'm saying it so lightly.
I mean, well, the victim is the system, this nice system that they put in place to help people. But it's why we can't have nice things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, you know, I look at this like when I look at people like, oh, the welfare, they're taking advantage of the welfare.
It's like, yes, there are people who take advantage of it, but that number is so small. Yes.
Are we going to take away it for everybody now? Also, the money was already gone. Yeah.
It's already gone. It's already spent.
If you can figure out a way to get free money from the government, I applaud you. Yes.
Because it is one of those, it's difficult to do. And a lot of times, it's its own job.
Yes. So, their 12th divorce was not recognized by the Austrian authorities, and the couple will face the accusations together.
Well, that, again, and is there anything hotter than that? Having to go to court together, and they should be kissing and making it, that's what I would do, be like the new Bonnie and Clyde. Oh yeah.
And they go in there and they just, like, she'll flash the police and be like, you're only seeing these one time. And then like he comes out and he's like, that's my wife.
And they have to fight. They have to fight to keep each other apart in the court.
Every single time they're always making up. Every time they run to each other, the police have to stop them.
Pull them apart as they're making out with each other. I'll always love you.
I've divorced you 12 times, and I'll divorce you again. You're Hitler's niece.
I know who you are. This article comes to us from Oddity Central, a wonderful website, and then below the article is this pregnant dog picture.
It just said dog refuses to give birth. I don't know.
That's so weird. Why are you just looking at it? It's just a big pregnant dog.
Why do they have that at the bottom of this article? That's very strange. AI is bad for everyone.
Oh, God. I think it's time for some listener emails.
Oh, I know. We have a lot of listeners email us.
I do, too. Now, this one I love because I talked about this.
I paraphrased this, but I want to show people that this is real. Okay.
I got this email. I wanted to share what we have had to have an impromptu school assembly about.
For context, I'm an art teacher at an elementary school somewhere in Ohio. Recently, third graders were caught playing Diddy Tag.
Oh, God. Diddy Tag is like normal tag, except you have to hump the tagger to get untagged.
Sorry. Not laughing.
No, no, it's funny. It's a snicker.
It is objectively funny. It's a snicker.
This was the breaking point for our overworked principal to call in all of second to fifth grade into the gym to subsequently ban all things related to P. Diddy.
Before this, students would casually say, no Diddy, in response to things they considered sus. There would be free Diddy chants, references to freak-offs and baby oil, and so many more.
It was honestly scary how much these kids knew in reference to Sean Combs. Thankfully, the Diddy references have subsided, but I can only imagine what the new thing will be when we are back from winter break.
And so I just think that's... Kids are unbeaten.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? They are undefeated.
Kids just fucking... No problems.
Tell Tell me about a friend. Fucking tell me about it.

I don't know where to park my Bentley

on top of my other Bentley.

Come on! What am I?

I got all day to

think about where I'm parking

my nine Bentleys. Henry, use your dental dam, please.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Helps you calm down.

This is why you have to check out the videos. You really do.
Because you don't know what I'm doing. All the way.
The dental dam's going to be your new pan fruit. I love my pan.
I love my dental dam, man. Anytime I feel it coming on.
It's going to come and you're going to be chewing on it. Blowing bubbles.
I blew through six or seven of these this morning. It's like me and Marcus Has got his pile of chewed up nicotine gun I saw him take a chewed He had a piece in his mouth He took one out, he had a pre-chewed one And he stuck an old one back in his mouth You don't have to re-chew the gum He's just like, there's some more in there There's more in the pack There's more in the pack too You do it You get between him.
You do it. You get between him and his gum.
I'm not getting between him and his gum. I'm saying just don't chew the gum that's already chewed.
I dare you to try to keep the gum from his mouth. I mean, I think I can really speak to him because if you know that half my family is Jewish.

I'll allow it. That's funny.

That's you fucking piece of shit.

Alright, one more listener email.

One more listener email. I've been debating

on sending this email for a few years

now. The first ever episode

of Last Podcast that blessed my ears was episode

426, The Dangerous UFOs of Brazil.

And I immediately felt right at home. Oh, when they were straight up attack people.
Yes. But to get to the point, to not make a long story short, I saw some weird shit in the sky.
This is around 2014. In butt-fucking Egypt, southern Indiana.
That's two different places. BFE, you know.
I was 1920 and stole... How do you think Egypt feels about the fact that everyone says they're butt-fucking? I think that hopefully they're blissfully unaware.
But if you do tell them, they will ask you for $100. Excuse me, is this butt-fucking Egypt? Actually, yes.
Welcome to Bat-Fu-King. Ah, yes.
The home of my grandfather's. Bat-Fu-King.
The most distant part of Egypt. This is my friend, King Butt.
Yes. I was born with two asses.
At least that's what I said, because I'm a lady. All right.
So this is, I don't know.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

You did this to me.

I was 1920 and I stole about five Miller lights out of my dad's fridge and headed to a friend's

house to be young and dumb.

Absolutely.

She happened to live quite far away from me, right out of town.

So I was on a rural highway in my way to some crusty back roads.

There's nothing there.

And the one business that was probably more than five miles, but less than 10 miles away

from her house was a log yard.

That helps you picture the nothingness that is this area where this happened.

Speaking of butt fucking Egypt, going to the log yard.

Tell me about it.

You just left the log yard in the fucking downstairs shitting bathroom.

That's our solids.

Yes.

I was probably a good 10 minutes away from her house and speeding so that my beers wouldn't get warm, and yes, I was sober. Excuse me, officer.
My beers are getting warm. Listen, I'm sober as hell.
Don't you want me drunk? There was an older truck that I got caught up with, and they were driving at an excruciatingly slow pace. After I got maybe a little too close, they started to speed

up dramatically, so I sped up as well, and as soon as the next curve in the road approached, I noticed a light in the air. At first, I thought it was a street light.
It was close to that level, and thought that was strange considering there were none on this particular stretch of road. But then immediately, when I looked right at it, there were four lights horizontally on one object that appeared to just be hovering above a tree.

I immediately slammed on my brakes,

the tree was on my brakes, the truck in front of me swerved but kept going, and I just sat in the middle of the road, unable to move or think or breathe. There were no sounds or movements, and I was paralyzed for what seemed like an eternity.
Classic no-thought, head-empty moment. While in this state, still not comprehending what I see, the object, I now figured out what they mean by cigar shape.
Moved from a horizontal position to a completely vertical one. No movement forward or backward or up or down, and still no sound.
It stayed like that for a moment, then started to move forward along a tree line, still completely vertical. This is a very wooded area.
It would have to only be a few feet above the trees. It disappeared.
So I drove up to the point where I would have been directly under it to try to see where it had gone. There was nothing, no movement in sight.
I waited and kept inching forward to see if I could see it anywhere. And after a few minutes and realizing how identified this thing really was, I drove away quickly.
I started shaking and crying, full on hyperventilated to the point where I had to pull over. I called my friend who was on my way to sea and I choked out the experience through sobs.
She screamed, no, don't tell me that shit. I just saw a military plane fly over the house five minutes ago.
And then she made me promise not to talk about it. She was equally spooked and I always got the vibe she saw more than a military plane.
I told my dad the next day and he laughed at me. I have always been on the fence about telling other people because them genuinely think that you're crazy, which maybe I am, but not that kind of crazy.
They were saying that they were terrified, right? I spoke to a friend who was an engineer and he said it might be just a drone. So I researched as much as I could about drones and types of drones and military planes and drones, and I could find anything even remotely resembling what I saw, along with the fact that there was absolutely no sound.
That made me feel sure that I definitely saw something I wasn't supposed to see. Whether it was advanced top-secret military technology or extraterrestrials, it wasn't meant for me to see.
And one of the most perplexing things about it to me, which is why it was, why was it in this area? The few people who live close by are a mix of simple country folks and weirdos who do meth. There are really very few small little farms, but nothing else at all.
With everything going on currently, it kind of feels like validation to me, and I wanted to share my experience. I do believe, and that's what they say here, and I like the sentiment they end with.
Whatever theory you believe, there's just so much that we don't know, and it really feels like something is happening right now where we may just find out some of those things. I really hope we do, but that fear, unsettling feeling of not knowing what is out there is very haunting.
Which is why we're at where we're at. Is that, again, it's not the it's aliens that are coming to kill us, or it's Iranians coming to kill us, or Russians coming to kill us, or Chinese people coming to kill us.
It's more of the, it's the non-answer and the vacuum that it leads, and what does that lead? And it leads to people conjecturing and getting scared. And at this point, they are just too much of the government, meaning they are pussies, and they don't want to put, they want to make it solid.
They don't want to make it solid, and they won't. They know it, they have to know what it is.
It just heads into, if we're just heading into a phantom zone, everybody, just know that, where we're not going to know a heck of a lot of what is real and what is not real. Do old UFO sightings still matter? Yes.
Yeah? Yeah, I do. I think so.
Yes. You think so? I think that whatever we're looking at is, it's all, it's mysterious, and it's everything.
It's all of it. Every single bit of it.
And you have still seen nothing. Zero.
Personally. I've seen videos.
You've seen videos. You've seen them.
I've seen the videos that you see. Yeah.
So I live every day knowing that one day I will see something. And when I do, I will not.
I'm not going to say anything. Did you see the one? Because I'm going to love holding my secrets to myself.
I'm going to love to know the fact that I know that aliens exist myself and no one else will.

And I'll laugh to myself every once in a while.

I'll just laugh knowing that I know the truth and everybody else is sucking a big fat egg.

Did you see the one with the orb shooting down the drone?

I did.

What do you think about that?

Nothing, Eddie.

It was nothing.

Okay, cool.

It must have been something stupid that we are stupid about.

I love being stupid. Yep, you are.
It's very helpful. I'm stupid too.
Oh my god. We don't know what it is because you look at it, but I'll tell you what it's not.
Something important because we haven't heard about it. Amen.
And I think that's important to remember. Yeah, it hasn't killed anybody.
It hasn't killed anybody and that's the bar. That's the bar we set for the man that went to Uzbekistan and we have to set that same bar for the government.
At least they're not shooting us with it. Yeah.
They might. Who knows? But we don't know.
We're not there yet. Not there.
We will not die a thousand deaths until the day comes when we die the one big death. Oh yeah.
Getting one of those War of the Worlds nets underneath like the testicles. Like when they, like remember when the big robots in War of the Worlds, they had those scrotums, and they held everyone in the scrotums and shit and all that stuff, and they had to cut out of it like it was Star Wars? We're all going to be inside a sack of balls.
Hell yeah, man. I fucking love that shit.
Go to patreon.com slash lastpodcastandleft, and give us money while the world still exists. Oh, yeah.
Because money's not going to matter for way too much longer, but we'll take it. And then you go to LastPodcastoftheleft.com, buy our live tickets.
You are going to like our live show. It is fun as fuck.
We are better than ever. Our live show is great.
It's really, it's on fire right now. New York was nuts.
It was awesome. 2,000 people came to that fucking show.
It was wild. And Atlanta's going to be crazy.
All the shows next year are going to be nuts. I'm excited to go to Dallas.
I've never been to Dallas my whole life. I've never been to Atlanta my whole life.
Deep Ellum is wonderful. We're going to eat at Kimball House.
I also was, there was another one another restaurant I got that just closed. Yeah.
Which is pretty great. I can't I'm going to whine and die on your ass.
I can't wait, man. Yeah, I'm definitely going to go in early.
Slap you in. Just so you can fucking feed me.
Slap you out. We're going to go to Homegrown, man.
Ever been to Homegrown? No, you haven't been to Atlanta. No, I've only- Homegrown is the best breakfast in the country.
The only thing I did in Atlanta was cocaine during a Tom Petty concert. Well, we're not going to be doing any cocaine, Eddie.
Certainly not at a Tom Petty concert. No, because we'd have to do that in heaven.
Which we will do, because that's when I'll do cocaine, is in. Because I don't trust it.
Here on earth. Because you know Jesus is holding that.
Good shit. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't make me constipated. Yeah, we got to.
Oh, and check out LPN Funhouse. Oh, yes.
LPN Funhouse this weekend is going to be amazing. It's on Thursday.
Twitch.tv slash LPN TV. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen.
We're on it. No, we've agreed to be there, and I'm very nervous, to be honest with you.
This is Holden and Jackie's baby. I ain't doing pain.
No, I'm not doing pain. That's the only thing I'm not doing.
I'm not getting shocked. Don't put me in a situation where I got to look like a pussy and say no.
Because I will look like a pussy and say no. Yeah, you are going to.
And we are gonna break the improv rules. And I'm saying, you're not gonna shock me? Yeah.
You're not hitting me with that taser. Yeah, it's yes and until you don't have to anymore.
But I'll do whatever else is in their crooked little minds. The LP and Funhouse is going to be a fucking blast.

I come check it out.

It is, I believe.

Yeah.

What time is it?

And we're not raising money for anybody, right?

Nothing.

Thank God.

5 p.m. PST.

5 p.m. PST.

It starts on the Twitch, and we are going to get it again.

I think they might be giving to charity.

We're trying to figure out something.

I don't know what we're doing,

because I don't know if we're making money on it.

I think it's good to do something not for charity. We're trying to figure out something.
I don't know what we're doing because I don't know if we're making money on it. I think it's good to do something not for charity.
I think Hey, good old money maker. We need But hey, it'll go to your Christmas bonuses.
Fuckers. Was that happening? You giving away bonuses? Not you.
Oh. All right, fuckers.
See you in hell. Hail Satan.
See you next week. See you after the break.
Next week we'll be gone, but we'll be back. There'll be a show that comes out on Christmas.
There'll be an episode. Yes.
Oh, yes. There will be an episode on Christmas.
Yes. And then there will be an episode, and then we're coming back.
So we'll be back. Yeah.
All right. So it's like we're not gone.
Yeah. Well, we might be a daylight.
No. No.
No. Okay.
The day we'll arrive and the show will come out. Producer Hitler.
Hail Satan, everyone. Hail the aliens.
Don't kill your family this Christmas. No.
Please don't. And if you do, make sure it's an accident.
Leave. Just leave.
Yeah. Or go down with the ship.
Really, like, spend some time with that lady first. Really.
We're just almost out of the show without, like, fucking getting ourselves in trouble. So close.
Yeah. Don't kill your family.
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