Side Stories: The Healthcare Killer

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Speaker 2 side stories

Speaker 2 that's when the cannibalism started

Speaker 2 side stories yes

Speaker 2 What was Luigi Magnone doing in the McDonald's? He was ruining his cholesterol count. No, you better be careful with that.
Luigi.

Speaker 2 Luigi, why?

Speaker 2 Luigi, why?

Speaker 2 Tell me, Luigi,

Speaker 2 you told your mother

Speaker 2 you were going to be a priest.

Speaker 2 Oh, Luigi, you got such a big eyebrow. Oh, you make the ladies fake.
See, I think it was more like a... Oh, Luigi.
You're such a good boy. Oh, God, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Oh, Luigi, I always remember the day I had you, I had such a shattering orgasm that the doctor thought I was having a seizure.

Speaker 2 I came when you were conceived and when you were born.

Speaker 2 Luigi!

Speaker 2 Oh!

Speaker 2 Where's your green overalls, you mook? Yeah! Welcome to Side Stories. You're here with Henry Zabrowski.

Speaker 2 I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? And I'm sitting here as far away from Henry without still with still being on camera.
I like being next to you, though. It is nice.

Speaker 2 We spend a lot of time together. We really do.
We really do.

Speaker 2 So for those of you that don't know,

Speaker 2 what happened?

Speaker 2 Has anything side stories-ish been in the news? There's been a lot of news. There's been like a lot of news, a lot of news.
Did you know

Speaker 2 fucking

Speaker 2 Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are breaking up? Again? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Again?

Speaker 2 I just lost $30,000 in the Las Vegas market, betting that they would make it.

Speaker 2 I can't believe it. And she's pregnant.
Whoa!

Speaker 2 I just lost 60. Put a new va ring on it.
Fuck me. I got to get off this fucking.
I got to get, oh, God, I got to.

Speaker 2 Celebrity gambling. These bookies are everywhere.

Speaker 2 So for those of you that don't know,

Speaker 2 see, we were in New York City for this entire news story. Yes.
We were in New York City doing, having a blast. We performed in Philly.
Holy fucking shit. Was that wild show?

Speaker 2 We got some more coming up, by the way. Now's the perfect time to just plug them real quick.
Classy Night Out, 1221, 8 p.m. Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Speaker 2 We got Jackie and Kara Clank, Holden McNeely, Amber Nelson, Blair Sochi, Cena Ghaznavi, and Logan Metz are going to be on that show.

Speaker 2 And also, side stories is coming to Dad's Garage, which is almost sold out. I can't wait.
That's going to be a fully improvised show. Not like all the rest of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We're professionals at this. Yeah, well, we won't even have a structure.
No, I can't wait. Usually we have some sort of structure.
They're going to tell us what the show is. That's pretty great.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So Dad's Garage, that's going to be on January 12th at 7 p.m.
in Atlanta. So come check us out there.
So wow.

Speaker 2 More shows are coming. Yes.
And while we were having a fantastic time,

Speaker 2 a CEO of United Healthcare, a person by the name of Brian Thompson, was shot dead outside of a Hilton in Manhattan.

Speaker 2 We now know. Like that that's the whole country went to flame.
And when the story first broke it, I'm kind of looks like the bad guy from Incredibles all growing up, like the kid that just shot.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, he does. He does kind of.

Speaker 2 So we, when the news first hit that there was a shooter, this guy got shot, Brian Thompson, I think it was Tuesday. We recorded side stories Wednesday of last week.
We decided to hold off and wait.

Speaker 2 We talked a little bit about it on Dan Soder's podcast. We kind of hemmed on all a little bit.
But it was right before the whole story. He was still developing.

Speaker 2 I almost didn't believe that it happened at this point still cool because then we recorded the last podcast last week and that was when the deny depose delay that was turns out that the shooter had on the bullet casings carved in this what seemed to be sort of like a manifesto and that was when they found the bag of monopoly money also supposedly left by the shooter they had the the smiling picture of him flirting with the person at Starbucks or I think he was at the hostel he was flirting with which is also again just let the penis just take a fucking break Luigi.

Speaker 2 And so he is excited. I know, no, of course, of course.
But we went through a whole like, and so we waited. And I think it's good that we waited because now we know who the person is.

Speaker 2 Because we were all certain. Everybody I was talking to in New York City, everybody that was around me, were all like, he's a professional assassin.
He seemed like it.

Speaker 2 And he is going to work his way, John Wick style, through the healthcare industry. And then it just doesn't happen.
He's a kid. A kid by the name of Luigi Mangioni, 26 years young.

Speaker 2 He was found in a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania. And my God, does he have a body that just won't quit? Yeah, no, he definitely looks like a G.I.
Joe.

Speaker 2 Luigi Mangioni, he is the most important fuckboy of 2024. Yeah.
He has done

Speaker 2 crazy. And those brows want to kiss each other.
And I'm not, I can roast him because he's a murderer. Yes.
I can roast him because I'm looking at him.

Speaker 2 It's like, not that Brian Thompson looked any better, and I can roast him too. Yes, Brian Thompson is super fucking ugly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this guy's beautiful. Now, it seems that the entire country flipped the ever-living fuck out because it seems that, and Eddie, tell me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 2 A lot of people are angry with the healthcare.

Speaker 2 Oh, you know,

Speaker 2 I haven't heard about this. Isn't that weird? Because I was first, I was like, why would you be mad at the healthcare industry? Yeah, all they do is take care of you and make you feel better.
Nothing.

Speaker 2 What I loved was how many times just this year I had to reapply to get my important

Speaker 2 medication that I'm crazy enough to get. Oh, yeah.
And how long it took to get, and then how many times I've had to pay for something out of pocket just for the sake of not wanting to deal with it.

Speaker 2 And that's also just draining me. You know what I mean? It's just draining you.
It really takes a lot out of you. I remember when my mom had her

Speaker 2 blood sugar machine taken from her because she didn't have $800.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, because it would go off when she would, you know, when her blood sugar would drop.

Speaker 2 Did she think of just dying to sort of like do that just kind of stop the because my thing is the i feel like the healthcare people got to get so sick of hearing from everybody yeah i mean well the thing is she did yeah man i mean a whole

Speaker 2 good for her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because uh she her sugar dropped when she was asleep and her blood sugar monitor didn't go off because she didn't have it anymore and she didn't wake up yeah it was so you're saying yeah that yeah that america

Speaker 2 killed your mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, the thing is, and then, you know, you go and you think about this stuff, and then, you know, my father, you know, a couple years later, he finds himself in a little trouble.

Speaker 2 He gets COVID, you know. Yeah, he had me at bad COVID.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, uh, and then he died.
And then we got a nice, I think we got a $30,000

Speaker 2 bill for his death. Oh, God.
Honestly, I'm kind of angry that it wasn't more. Yeah, well, it was $2 million, and they took care of a lot of it.
Oh, wow. Oh, then why aren't you thanking them?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're right. I should just thank them.
We should have been at Brian Thompson's. It was cheaper for him to die than it was for him to keep going.

Speaker 2 Now, there's a lot of people that are angry, and it's because. Why? Why are people angry?

Speaker 2 This is the circle of life.

Speaker 2 People should just be fine with this. Oh, of course.
No, it's just choices that your father made to get COVID and to go to the hospital. He chose to go to the hospital.
He could have died at home.

Speaker 2 He could have easily. It would have been free

Speaker 2 at home. Free.
He could have died for free at home, Eddie. Yeah.
Actually, no, because you would have had to have someone come and pick up his corpse and take it to, and you'd have to pay that fine.

Speaker 2 Probably, that's not covered no no definitely not no no none of that would be covered people are angry because people like brian thompson made a lot of money and they look at us humans walking around as a bunch of numbered coin-filled pigs there you could say that he helped contribute to hundreds of thousands of deaths yep and luigi mangioni who is not let's see he's not perfect no i i don't he's a murderer i do not agree with vigilante justice he's a murderer for for the record.

Speaker 2 You know, you wonder, you know,

Speaker 2 maybe he was pushed to a limit. I don't know, Eddie.

Speaker 2 Because it seems that it's shocking to both the media and the various other CEOs who went immediately into hiding that Brian Thompson would be shot because they didn't think that they would ever be treated like one of the numbered pigs that they look at with no feeling from giant glass towers as we all walk around.

Speaker 2 Because guess what This shit comes for everybody. It comes for everybody.
As soon as you, like, even if you have money, because we talked about this, why did Luigi Mangioni do this?

Speaker 2 He has a manifesto. I read the manifesto.

Speaker 2 How was it?

Speaker 2 Hilarious. I know he's a Ted Kaczynski fan.
Well, I'm kind of sad because we didn't get a shout-out.

Speaker 2 I mean, he is. He'll be on one eventually.

Speaker 2 Come on. Come on, guys.
Please. Come on, guys.
But he, yes, he is a Ted Kaczynski fan.

Speaker 2 He said that felt like, which it was very chilling, his final words in his Goodreads review he did of Ted Kaczynski's manifesto.

Speaker 2 Under his review of Industrial Society and its future,

Speaker 2 I think it's really, really interesting. He says that oil barons haven't listened to any environmentalists, but they feared Ted Kaczynski.
I think it's interesting that he went out there.

Speaker 2 He said, I do think he said that Kaczynski was a violent individual, rightfully in prison, because he maimed innocent people.

Speaker 2 And in the idea of moving his manifesto along, he did attack innocent people, people that were not a part of the system.

Speaker 2 And actually, in many ways, that's why Ted Kaczynski was wrong, is that he had a lot of ideas, but he did not want to do anything to really fix them besides kill people and maim things.

Speaker 2 And that's not actually, it isn't actually helpful. But what Luigi

Speaker 2 had the good grace to live in the woods. I mean,

Speaker 2 especially from apparently what his balls smell like.

Speaker 2 You said he just smelled like fucking rotting milk 24-7. But hey, what are you going to do? Luigi Mangioni is not a hero, but he is a reaction.
And I think that we are seeing why

Speaker 2 people are extremely angry. And according to his manifesto, his mom was also put through the entire health care mill.
And he was put through the healthcare meal.

Speaker 2 He had a fucking horrible back surgery. He's living his life in constant pain.
He's never come back from it. No one, there's no help.
There's nobody to look out for. So he did reach a breaking point.

Speaker 2 And it's,

Speaker 2 I'm just actually surprised this is the first time. Yeah.
And it'd be different if the company mourned Brian Thompson's death. They moved on.
They did the meeting that hour.

Speaker 2 They did not care about his own death. They didn't even wait at all.
They put up a fucking LinkedIn notice for his job 48 hours later as if some other fucking stupid

Speaker 2 felt vested Brooks brothers shirted motherfucker couldn't have just stepped in place. He's literally just someone did step in his place.
So what's that guy feeling right now?

Speaker 2 He's wearing a bulletproof vest, that's for fucking certain. Because these guys are because United Healthcare is responsible.

Speaker 2 They said apparently they have the highest rate of not giving insurance money. It's like 30% of claims they've denied.
Oh, they're united on not giving money.

Speaker 2 And that's the only thing they're supposed to do. And we do right before, and I talked to you about the manifesto.

Speaker 2 I said his mom was run through the mill by healthcare, he was run through the mill by healthcare, and then you said he's rich, but he's rich. But guess what?

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter because they will come for every single penny that you have because you are vulnerable, you are sick, and they got the fucking medicine pipes and they have the control over it and they hold it over you and they got your head in a fucking bucket and they don't care.

Speaker 2 They don't care whether you live or die.

Speaker 2 Thousands of dollars into GoFundMe campaigns because insurance companies will not cover people's cancer treatment. They won't do it.

Speaker 2 And it's fucking insane. Or they don't have insurance because they can't afford it in the first place.
One of the new CEOs.

Speaker 2 It's so crazy because, like, why would they not pay out if it's already so fucking expensive? I pay top dollar for health insurance. I pay.
And I still get fucked. Me too.
All the time I get fucked.

Speaker 2 All the time I get fucked. Yeah.
So you wonder why

Speaker 2 it happened.

Speaker 2 Everyone's so confused. Why would this happen? All the media pretending the media that has been fucking lying to us.
And I'll put it this way too.

Speaker 2 We were coming in the, like, I was talking about with this marcus this afternoon. I think it's really interesting is that everyone was obsessed with this story for five days.
He got caught. It's gone.

Speaker 2 It's like they are, they've stopped talking about it. Same thing with the fucking, what's going on in Syria with the drones.

Speaker 2 No one's talking about the fucking drones, which we're going to talk about soon. We shouldn't be the news.
This shouldn't, side stories shouldn't be where we're talking about this shit.

Speaker 2 It shouldn't be here. I mean, he did kill someone in the street.
That is kind of our territory. Exactly.
And that's why I'm thankful. And for that, I'm thankful.

Speaker 2 All I know is someone was shot in Williamsburg three nights later and they never found him or give a fuck. Where's that person's manhunt? They threw so much money

Speaker 2 at this manhunt

Speaker 2 across the nation. We watched it.
We watched it in front of our eyes in New York City as we were sitting there. They had a phalance everywhere.
There was like stop points. There were all this.

Speaker 2 And you're just like,

Speaker 2 didn't they just kill three people for like for skipping fare? Subway? Yeah. Didn't they just scale like three people? So,

Speaker 2 you know, there's a world for them and there's a world for us. And weirdly, we're, we're in your world too, guys.
I, I thought we could be good enough at entertainment to go to the better world.

Speaker 2 All right. And we can't get there.
All right. So it's fucked for everybody.
If it's fucked for us, it's fucked for everybody. All right.

Speaker 2 So these guys, and you know, and then I wonder why did he get caught? He wanted to get caught. He definitely wanted to get caught.
But I have a little theory about. But he was hiding.

Speaker 2 It was a very, his interest. It It was like he didn't know if he wanted to get caught or not.
But now I'm putting thoughts in his head. Sure.
Well, my, I will put this this way. I'm going to,

Speaker 2 I keep saying that he's, he has fuckboy vibes. Right.

Speaker 2 He's a young guy. Yeah.
Good-looking guy. Valedictorian.

Speaker 2 A lot of people were. But he's a good-looking guy.

Speaker 2 He's obviously deeply plugged into social media. He's a young person.
I think that he saw his own attention that he was receiving. And I think he really liked it.

Speaker 2 And I think that it was i obviously he wanted the attention he wanted to do something like and have people read his manifesto and move on like but it's i do think that that's where the faulty reasoning came in is that he probably should have been long long long long gone but instead they found him in altoona pennsylvania like not that far that far no so they

Speaker 2 and then i think a lot of people are giving shit to the person that ratted him out, the person that saw his picture. Because number one,

Speaker 2 I love everybody and I loved all the funny little memes about him but the memes helped him get caught they absolutely helped him get caught because they blasted his picture everywhere right and then two so it served a function and then two people are now attacking I believe it was a McDonald's employee that called him in but that even though that money they were given I think was a ten thousand dollar reward it was it was up to 60 but I don't think they got the they're not getting any of it because they didn't call crime stoppers they called the wrong line so they're not getting any of the money they get none of it they get none of it Because I was just talking to Cena about it upstairs.

Speaker 2 What they do is they lowball us. They lowball us, right? Because that person that called in desperately needed that money.
Yeah. That is the only reason why they would get involved.

Speaker 2 Who would call the police voluntarily and bring them to their job? Nobody. Nobody would really do it.
Unless it was like

Speaker 2 somebody that,

Speaker 2 how do I, I'm not saying real criminal. He is a real criminal.
He's killing him. How do you feel about the person who turned him in? I mean, personally.
I don't feel bad for them.

Speaker 2 i know that they know it's they need money they need they weren't mcdonald's they needed the money they needed the money that people have turned their brother in for 60 grand yeah so they got they and what's hard is to say to somebody like that even that kind of money is not going to fix everything no 60 grand really isn't that much it's i couldn't believe the number was that low

Speaker 2 i thought for sure that was like a hundred thousand dollar reward at the bare minimum that's how they don't give a fuck little

Speaker 2 they think of us yeah that's how little they think of us this is like the guy who's top. You figure if the guy at the top gets killed,

Speaker 2 there'd be a big reward. No.
Nothing. I mean, his own people didn't care.
His wife had to put out a statement when I, Brian Thompson's wife, they put out a statement saying he's a loving father.

Speaker 2 A lot of people come forward saying he's a nice guy. I know a lot of people are separate.

Speaker 2 Apparently, Goebbels was hilarious. Yeah.
Like, you know, it's. So was Bill Cosby.
You know, like, it's hard. Like, and I don't think he's in that level.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying that, like, yes, it's just he took the money and the goal for him to make his money when he was a business. You don't think Goebbels Goebbels is as funny as Bill Cosby?

Speaker 2 Is that what you're trying to say to me right now? I don't know. Definitely not.
Bill Cosby is by far. Okay, let's just say this outright.
I'm saying this on the show.

Speaker 2 Bill Cosby is definitely funnier than Goebbels. It's not a question.
Did Goebbels have even one special? No.

Speaker 2 No, he didn't. I guess David Tell hasn't either.
Well, he's had plenty of specials. I thought he's had no specials.
He's had plenty. I thought he only had a half an hour.
He never had a full hour.

Speaker 2 Oh, he's done lots. He's done crowd work specials.
He had a couple on Comedy Centroy. Well, then I take it back.
David Tell's nothing like Goebbels. Also, I produced Bumping Mics.

Speaker 2 But that's like him and Jeff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But, you know, it's a comedy special. I'm just saying that the person next to you produced.
I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I brought it up.
It's nothing like Goebbels.

Speaker 2 I take it, I scratch it from the record. He's nowhere near.
He's no, and Goebbels is nowhere near as funny as David Tell. Okay.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Yes.
I

Speaker 2 besmirch the good name of David Tell.

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Speaker 2 That's why it's like, I think a lot of people, obviously we have advertisers and there's going to be a lot of people saying, like, and I don't think that murder is the solution. Never the solution.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 at some point. I've never seen anyone get murdered and the world be so happy it happened.
Because again, since like bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. And you know why?

Speaker 2 The reason why is because of the way they look at us. That's why.
It's because just for one time, that CEO got treated like some other nameless person in the street that like they're used to.

Speaker 2 They live in a separate world. Yeah.
They get the best health care in the world and their fucking million. They get everything.
They get everything. Dude got over $10 million before bonuses.
And

Speaker 2 how did he get that money? By cutting as much as he possibly could. And when he cuts, it's not like this isn't Frito-Lay.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 This isn't like, oh, you know, which I do am mad about the fact that they're definitely putting less chips in the bags. Oh, yeah.
We know this. We know the

Speaker 2 trinkflation. Don't even get me started.
Oh, that's, you want to hear me really go. Right? But, you know, it's not that.
All right. It's, it's every time they cut, people die.
So that's why there's,

Speaker 2 that's why it's very charged. So, I mean, who I, this guy's going to get the book thrown in and we're going to find out a lot more about.
What's his jail life's going to be like?

Speaker 2 Do you think he's going to be a hero?

Speaker 2 I think that eventually he'll. He doesn't care, right? Nah, I don't know.
He's going to be in a federal prison. Yeah, yeah, I think that he'll, it depends.
He's a young guy. Overtouch state.

Speaker 2 It was, it was a murder in New York. Yeah, he'll go to federal prison.
Why? He should be in Rikers. I don't know.
I actually don't know.

Speaker 2 They might have to to protect him for a while. Who knows? But again, I think that he's also throwaway.
Like, fuck Luigi. Like, that's not even about it.

Speaker 2 It's about the moment in time. And

Speaker 2 everyone's wondering why this, like,

Speaker 2 why everybody's so angry and why they feel so justified. And it's just because this one single issue, it unites every single one of us.

Speaker 2 Every person in America knows somebody who got very sick and couldn't afford their health care.

Speaker 2 Whether they helped them or they didn't, they know somebody or they had someone in their family or it was a parent or a child. And guess when they fuck you? When you're most vulnerable.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They know it and they smell it in the water like sharks. They know that you're fucked, that you have to pay.
You have to pay. Honestly,

Speaker 2 I can't say on record enough that I don't condone this behavior. No.
But

Speaker 2 I'm certainly very surprised it hasn't happened before. Well, we'll see what happens.
You know, I mean, we had one child, this is the second child assassin.

Speaker 2 Well, the first one wasn't an assassin because Trump never got shot. That is, I'm just saying that straight now.
I'm not even going to fuck around with that anymore. Trump was never shot.

Speaker 2 He doesn't seem like it. No.
So that was, we made a big deal over that guy. And now we're also going to see the media very much try to shatter any sort of belief in

Speaker 2 Luigi Mangion because, unfortunately, the internet requires you to have some form of moral purity, even if you're an assassin.

Speaker 2 So they're going to come after his, like, you know, he'll probably have said the R word on a video somewhere, and then everyone's not going to hear anymore. Canceled them?

Speaker 2 Is he going to get canceled? That's literally all they're going to do. But they're already like setting it all up because they're so.
He's going to come to murder someone.

Speaker 2 And they're like, well, we're going to might have to cancel this guy.

Speaker 2 It's just unfortunately.

Speaker 2 That's how the internet works because they are not really grasping how fucking serious everything is. They're just not, they will yet, they cannot understand that we're joking ourselves to death.

Speaker 2 And this is from a comedian. Yeah.
So it's hard. We have to figure out what's serious, what's not serious,

Speaker 2 what's funny about it.

Speaker 2 I think the funniest thing about Luigi Mangion is the fact that he could get his fucking eyebrows sculpted and probably should have the second because that was the only thing anybody recognized for him was his Groucho Marks fucking eyebrows.

Speaker 2 He definitely should have went to got some threading done. He was already in New York.
There's eyebrows. He didn't try hard enough.
He didn't disappear everywhere.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think he tried enough to disappear. Well, I think also the eyebrows, you know,

Speaker 2 some people really dig it.

Speaker 2 Oh, they do. They do.
I'm not going to say, again, that is the one thing unassailable. I cannot say against him.

Speaker 2 He is a trap. Now, one rumor I've been hearing a lot, a conspiracy theory I've been hearing a lot is that it's not him.

Speaker 2 Nah, it's him.

Speaker 2 Because they released different pictures of guys in different jackets. I'm pretty sure they just had the wrong guy in one of those pictures.
It's possible.

Speaker 2 You want another big old conspiracy theory from Henry Zabrowski is that they don't really want to talk about the way that they caught him because if we really understood how far they could see us from space, we would not feel good.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think that if they, if we knew that if there was, I mean, he was good for days.
I think that they just didn't.

Speaker 2 I don't think,

Speaker 2 like, how do you put this? I think there's a kind of a period of time where like, maybe he's going to turn himself in. You're talking to all these forensics experts.
It seems to be a political hit.

Speaker 2 He might turn himself in. If we tell him we have all this information on him, he might show up.

Speaker 2 I think that it makes everybody look like they're feeling a part of the investigation, which I think helps the media and the police.

Speaker 2 I think that they maybe corroborated his location with an in-person sighting, but I do think that they don't want to broadcast the fact that they kind of maybe knew where he was really quickly because maybe they can see us from space.

Speaker 2 They are. And that the surveillance technology is so good

Speaker 2 that they literally have to pretend that it's not very good. So they let him get away with it for three days? No.

Speaker 2 They just

Speaker 2 had to make sure it was him. Yeah.
But I think that

Speaker 2 they had a much more detailed thing.

Speaker 2 You don't think they were just picking up random dudes in the street that looked just like them and fucking taking their pants off and slapping their asses and putting their fingers in their butts?

Speaker 2 What levels are we? So there's the beat cop, the guys you're going to go send out to do all that shit, right? I saw some cops when I was walking around New York. I was like, you guys find them yet?

Speaker 2 And they were like, literally threw their hands up in the air.

Speaker 2 Like they could give a fuck. Of course not.
What the fuck? They literally are. If you're a beat cop in New York, you got a lot going on.
And just another dead guy, all right?

Speaker 2 Where it's like, then you got the higher level. You got the homicide section, which is kind of doing a little broad.
And then you have the FBI.

Speaker 2 And once the FBI gets involved, and then they got some kind of private contracting thing, or or like somebody else they talk to, they can call up somebody from the military.

Speaker 2 You've never, you don't know. You don't know what they have

Speaker 2 access to. Do you think he did like everything he could to not get caught or do you think he wanted to get caught? I think my full-time.
I mean,

Speaker 2 that's definitely a place you go where you don't want to be found. Yeah, absolutely.
My full out-of-the-ass opinion. We're putting, yeah, we're just throwing our thoughts into his brain.

Speaker 2 So it doesn't matter. My is, I think that he saw the thirst and he saw the attention and he lingered.
I think that he saw how much everybody wanted to fuck him. Yeah.
And there's just so hard.

Speaker 2 It's as a 26 But he's got a bad back.

Speaker 2 Don't you fuck him with that back? You're right. I take it back.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I think that he, I that's, I put the, my hum, my, the human layer I'll put in is that I think that he legitimately saw how popular he was and

Speaker 2 he wanted the credit. It's not far.
No. He really didn't get that far.
He's only like four hours away.

Speaker 2 That's why I also just kind of wonder if, yeah, if they, if there's something, something happened in there. And then he, so he had his ghost gun with him.
He had 3D printed a gun.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's a good thing that's going to happen about this. They're going to fucking definitely crack down on ghost guns now.
I mean, we'll see how difficult it is to get. They're going to crack.

Speaker 2 They're never going to pretty much legal. They're literally never going to crack down on a gun anywhere ever.
They will never crack down on anything.

Speaker 2 It wasn't until 2022 that they started like making the kits where you had to like

Speaker 2 fucking fill out a,

Speaker 2 what is it called?

Speaker 2 When you buy a gun.

Speaker 2 Oh, when you register,

Speaker 2 when you get your gun license? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Before you could just buy one, but now you have to actually apply for one. Yes, but still, you can get all of the 3D printed gun parts online.
They're extremely easy to get.

Speaker 2 We've seen it's now been several crimes, high-profile crimes that have used ghost guns. We know that you can also put them together using other pieces, using pieces from non-3D printed guns.

Speaker 2 But he kept the gun, which

Speaker 2 my mind says he was planning to do something else. Should have just melted it.
I don't know why he kept the gun, but I do think that there's

Speaker 2 an issue here where he's a young man that saw the attention and he was excited about it and he didn't know what to do. He's not a professional assassin.
He's just a young man that wanted to.

Speaker 2 He seemed like it. Well, he was, he thought about it for a long time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He thought about it for a long time and he probably tried.

Speaker 2 He practiced probably with the gun a couple times. Yeah.
But definitely a sociopath.

Speaker 2 I think that you'd put him in the side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Are you a sociopath? If you can feel those emotions, I don't know if you can't.

Speaker 2 I think that sociopaths wouldn't feel the excitement.

Speaker 2 I think I hate Brian Thompson as much as Luigi. I will say I don't know Brian Thompson.
So I will not say I hate that man, right?

Speaker 2 I think that that man thought that, as everyone does, they're the hero. Everyone's a hero of their own story.

Speaker 2 So in his own mind, he's got his wife and his kids and they go to fucking some private school and everybody's got to take it. He's taking care of all of his bullshit.
And he's a good guy.

Speaker 2 And he gives them, maybe he'll give to Planned Parenthood every year. And maybe he goes and he'll buy like a wreath from a poor person.

Speaker 2 person every once in a while and he says, you see, honey, I did good. You see what I did? Like, I'm certain that he's not, you know, running over dogs and beating the help and stuff.

Speaker 2 I'm certain that if you met his maid, she'd be like, he don't kill me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, like, but I think that if you, Brian Thompson, just, you know, he was a part of an industry, he might as well have been in the weapons industry. Yes, exactly.
And then I think that

Speaker 2 you just don't know what you're asking for with that because when you're a CEO, it all falls on you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're the face you're the face and it was a big face big head huge head yeah and it's really dude had like a fucking 40 pound head but yeah I'm not gonna I'm not gonna malign the man I'm not gonna malign the man because I don't know the man but I do know that

Speaker 2 I fucking hate his ass because of his face and his job

Speaker 2 I think anyone who's the CEO of a company like that can go fucking hell well you're definitely making money on the pain of millions of human beings I don't think he deserved to die, but, you know, but maybe, you know, take his pants down and spank him in front of a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 I have been saying this for so long. I still feel like if we could.
Public spankings.

Speaker 2 If we could bring out all the CEOs and politicians, if we could make them dress up like jesters and make them do it like once a month where they all have to embarrass themselves and wallow around a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 They're tiny little dickies and just get slapped around. They won't.
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 2 People of the United States of America will stop murdering you guys if you just let us do that once a month. And we can all show up and everyone can pay a dollar.

Speaker 2 I could pay a dollar and I could go throw a water balloon filled with good put into the face of a senator. Yes.
You know what I mean? Oh my God. God, how I would get so much out of that.

Speaker 2 But, you know, this is now we'll see. I feel like,

Speaker 2 again, I don't know. I don't think anybody also really understands.
how bad the revolution will be for everybody in between.

Speaker 2 I think there's a lot of people online that are always like, oh my God, leftist revolution.

Speaker 2 And it's like, but I don't think you understand that like after the first wave of the revolution, like that's when the mass executions happen. That's when all the kind of bad stuff happens.

Speaker 2 So I don't know if people are going to want a full-on big one, but it's just important

Speaker 2 for us all to remember the fight is not between us. It's between us and them.
And they're going to do everything they can to make us fight each other. They're going to call us racist.

Speaker 2 They're going to call us stupid.

Speaker 2 They're going to do everything that they can to make sure that we're all fighting each other and not all fighting them. Exactly.
Yep.

Speaker 2 And maybe a good example of that is what the fuck is going on with these drones. Oh, good segue.
All right, so let's go look at this real quick. Now, when we were.
What do you mean real quick?

Speaker 2 This is the biggest alien news since I've been alive. And you're just going to blow right past it? Well, you know, it's funny because now I'm almost.

Speaker 2 I'm almost at the, it's past aliens point. Okay, so you don't think it's aliens? I don't know what the fuck fuck it is.
Drones the size of Buicks. I don't know what that's not something.

Speaker 2 Although it does sound like something a Jersey dude would make in his closet. Oh, yeah, look at that right there.
It's Galta Santa Maria.

Speaker 2 Yeah, nice. Right there.
We're going to go up there. It's got a godfather horn on it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I have a couple of interesting takes here. I asked the audience last week when we were doing our episodes, those of you that care,

Speaker 2 what the fuck is going on with these drones?

Speaker 2 Because New Jersey, now, if you're looking at footage right now, we're looking from NBC4, the drone footage from New Jersey, I cannot state enough how many emails I've received with personal footage of the drones.

Speaker 2 I'm talking 25 at least videos from New Jersey. Just

Speaker 2 from their own phones. Yes, Staten Island, I've got emails from.
I've got emails from Ohio.

Speaker 2 I had emails from North Carolina, South Carolina, all showing the same, literal, same, exact, different styles of drones.

Speaker 2 Because the thing that is most curious about what's going on, for those of you who don't know, there has been these wave of drone sightings seen over New Jersey, over the U.S.

Speaker 2 airfield in U.K., Lanken Heath, and all over the eastern seaboard. And apparently some off the west coast as well, but I didn't see photos of those.
The thing about these drones is that, yes.

Speaker 2 Some of them do just look like drones. Drone-y, drone-esque.
The problem is that they're all different types. We've got orbs, circles, boomerangs.

Speaker 2 We've got things that look like mini planes, but the lights are wrong. Yeah.
And the size is wrong. So they're super small mini planes.

Speaker 2 But I thought they have the right lights as far as like left and right.

Speaker 2 Well, they do, but then they'll have a bunch of weird middle lights and then a bunch of different colored lights that they don't normally use.

Speaker 2 Things with blue lights, a lot of things similarly just red lights. It's very, very strange.
And while all of this is going on in New York, right, we're running around. The city is insane.

Speaker 2 The city's on fire, right? Yeah. Well, it's Christmas season.
It's also Christmas. So it's packed.
And there's, it's just, it was a very intense week, honestly.

Speaker 2 It was cool, but it was a very, very heavy week. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 everybody is just sort of not caring, right? So the new, like, they have a bunch of people. The government keeps saying, don't worry about these drones.
They're not doing anything.

Speaker 2 They're not doing anything. They're just up there.
But. But I mean, I agree with that almost.
Sure. Yes.
But the footage I'm looking at, and I'm talking each one, helicopters are following them.

Speaker 2 And 16s are being scrapped.

Speaker 2 That's what Nap always says. There's black helicopters.
Whenever you see,

Speaker 2 then he says the black helicopters might be UFOs. So this, so again,

Speaker 2 this is how far it's going. This is another, like, this senator, a guy, a New Jersey senator, John Bramnick, again, a Republican.

Speaker 2 Republicans are the only time Republicans jump into anything that I care about, which is the, he has been saying that the public receipt must receive an explanation regarding these multiple sightings.

Speaker 2 The governor Phil Murphy went as far as to say that the drone sightings are under investigation. They all keep saying they don't know what it is.
And if you look at the footage, they are physical.

Speaker 2 Yes. And I got some great opinions from the crowd.
I got some great opinions from the show. So I want to go through some of these great little letters I got in response to why now.

Speaker 2 thank you everyone who wrote in so many people wrote in keep them coming please send in the footage as you as you get it well you know we fucking are horny for it yeah the drone story is way more than the news is sharing last year a large amount of drones were over langley air force base in virginia a mass of drones literally flew into the base flew around and then straight up vanished the base tried to keep it hushed up and went as far as telling families in military housing to not discuss the issue what was also hidden was the fact that the government acronym groups were brought into the base for an extended period of time.

Speaker 2 Since then, Langley has kept their lips sealed as far as any discussion with those below a certain rank. Lanken Heath has been insane with discussion too.

Speaker 2 The base has a confessionals page on Facebook where everyone posts anonymously. One post was up about the drones in July, and since then, they've attempted to also coil the topic.

Speaker 2 OSI watches that page, so they are privy to the immense nonsense and OPSEC violations shared.

Speaker 2 They have weighed in on occasion, and people posting in the group have been questioned by OSI agents on several topics.

Speaker 2 I don't really recommend the group as a qualifying source beyond gossip because it is one of those things. There are a lot of stuff going on there.

Speaker 2 As there is a bizarre amount of panty-sniffing confessions.

Speaker 2 You know, you never know, right? Here we go. This is another one.
What is OSI? Operation of Special Investigations.

Speaker 2 What's it? The Office of Special Investigations.

Speaker 2 Henry recently asked on side stories, Attack of the Drones, why the activity is happening now. My two senses is that this stuff happens more often than we think, but places tinfoil head on head.

Speaker 2 The media wants to distract us from all the terrible stuff happening in the world right now. World War III, Israel, Palestine, Turks with Syria, and South Korea, Russia and the like.

Speaker 2 None of it was on the news. Do we have South Korea also declare

Speaker 2 martial law for like six hours? Yeah. And

Speaker 2 all this shit with Syria. None of it was on the news.
Guess what they're all over? Well, Syria was all over the news. But

Speaker 2 guess what it was covered with?

Speaker 2 All of the dumb shit that whatever fucking fat boy was saying. Yeah.
New president was saying.

Speaker 2 And And so fat boy was just talking and all they do is run every single fucking syllable that he says because they couldn't possibly give a fucking shit about anyone else. Yeah.
Well, guess what?

Speaker 2 Go out of this shit, Sal. This is very interesting.
I think so, but I don't think many people care, man. No, I guess not.
By the way, I spoke to my friend's father-in-law drunk at his wedding.

Speaker 2 He revealed to me, well, he's a retired aerospace engineer who worked on some top secret projects for the United States military.

Speaker 2 He cannot go into detail about the stuff he did, but he did say it had to do with weapons. I asked him what he thinks about all the UAP events going on.
I found his answer very compelling.

Speaker 2 He said he believes that whatever the famous Tic Tac videos were were human-made and they are essentially hyper-secret weapons aircraft that were basically unveiled to these pilots in particular to see how they would react in the moment like a test.

Speaker 2 Not only to see how they would approach the aircraft and if they kept their cool in the air, but to see what happens... happens when they land.
Will they follow protocol and keep it a secret?

Speaker 2 Or would they be able to handle seeing something they had no answer for? These would be need-to-know answers not only for our men, but how adversaries would react as well.

Speaker 2 Once these encounters occur, the clock starts ticking. How long can the government keep secret? Again, probably a good thing for them to know.
We'll find out.

Speaker 2 I am now of the mind that some of this stuff

Speaker 2 is man-made technology. It has to be.
It has to be. Some of it is too much.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 it makes sense for that Tic Tac video.

Speaker 2 Like, like i still believe that i will still believe the tic-tac video is a ufo until i see other like information right i'm not there's no reason not to believe in it's not a ufo why would you think it wasn't a ufo i don't know that's what they technically that's what they want me to think right that it is a ufo yeah so i wonder right i said and i i wonder but that hyper secret technology was displayed out in the middle of the ocean right like when that when the uss and the when indianapolis saw that they were dead in the middle of the Pacific on a training run, like they were now near civilization.

Speaker 2 So, there's a lot of people that I've, I have heard, and I've heard, I, I understand why you think that, that this could be secret technology that we're testing, but why the fuck would we be testing it in such a public aspect?

Speaker 2 We've never done this before. We've never done it like this across the eastern seaboard and then act like it's nothing.
It's like, no, with Roswell, they gave us an excuse, right?

Speaker 2 With other things, they tell you what it is. Yeah, like what they just said when we showed the pictures of what we shot over

Speaker 2 Alaska in Canada the other week.

Speaker 2 And they said they kind of they acted like they didn't like at first they didn't know what it was, but they still don't know what it is. They just don't know what it was and they shot it down anyway.

Speaker 2 And it looked like something they couldn't recognize, but they shot it down. So why aren't they shooting this stuff down? Well, it's overpopulated areas.
But why then? So I just don't understand.

Speaker 2 But if you're double sure to shoot it down, then definitely shoot it down. Well, because then it'll fall on the people.
You can't shoot it down.

Speaker 2 What if it's going going to be dropping bombs in the people? Well, then you're, but then the bombs are still in the plane. But you got to shoot the planes.
You still got to shoot the planes.

Speaker 2 Then it crashes and the bomb blows up. I don't know.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 I just don't really fully understand why they would test it out loud in front of that many human beings. It just doesn't seem to work like that.
But this is a... It could be private.

Speaker 2 We don't know.

Speaker 2 This last little opinion, I think, is fascinating. I'm an electrical engineer who was in college when drones were really taking off as a thing 10 years ago.

Speaker 2 So I've had a fascination with them ever since. My theory is that this is companies testing new ways to mass deploy offensive AI-powered drones, suicide drones.

Speaker 2 My rationale: the Russia-Ukrainian wars leapfrog offensive drone technology and anti-drone defenses. Ukraine has begun using a swarm of suicide drones to swarm targets.
These drones cost

Speaker 2 $400 to $10,000 apiece if you bought them off Amazon, and they are are destroying tanks that cost a million plus dollars, so it's an amazing trade-off.

Speaker 2 But most commercial drones have a maximum range of five miles before any additional equipment is added.

Speaker 2 This makes it so these drone swarms are useless against Russian artillery, which is usually fired 15 miles from its target.

Speaker 2 Artillery has been the main thing Ukraine has had difficulty fighting against since you need to either hit it with your own artillery or with airstrikes.

Speaker 2 Ukraine has needed to ration its artillery shells, firing 2,000 a day compared to Russia firing 10,000 a day, and airstrikes can easily be countered if you know where they will target.

Speaker 2 So, you either need to get the drones to start closer to the

Speaker 2 artillery or have longer flight range. The two easiest ways to do this would be to fly the drones closer to the target.

Speaker 2 Drones usually need to take off like a helicopter or to be thrown like a toy plane.

Speaker 2 So, they could test, they could be test-dropping them from planes that get them to take off because you don't want to either have drone collisions that destroy half the swarm on launch.

Speaker 2 But again, this is happening in front of our cities. So, I don't know if it works like that, but I like this concept of

Speaker 2 that's where maybe the private money is. It's like, can you show the U.S.
military we can sneak up on you? Can you show

Speaker 2 the police and the FBI that the drones can just

Speaker 2 out of nowhere? I mean, well,

Speaker 2 there's a very good chance, I feel like, that the drones are ours, that they are

Speaker 2 the military showing everyone else what we got.

Speaker 2 But then, so Alex or Coffee coffee guy let's just say he's paranoid right yeah love my love love springhill jack coffee there's a fucking reason why those beans are so fucking delicious reptilian in the morning he is awake my man is his eyelids are peeled

Speaker 2 you don't see like he sees yeah we have been talking for days i think they're staple gun to the back of his head whatever makes those beans good i told him you do whatever it takes

Speaker 2 so you know last week i was talking about oh it's aliens people don't want to notice i just think this is I think that there's something, something's going on. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And we don't quite know what it is. I'm going to go ahead, which is what I always say because I am a clinical, full-on.

Speaker 2 I am utterly agnostic. So I believe it's all things.
I believe that there's very possibly to have there's alien technology that looks like us.

Speaker 2 There's us that we've made stuff to look like alien technology that technology that we have figured out our own stuff that we want people to think is UFOs, blah, blah, blah, Right? All this shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But this is a...

Speaker 2 So we were coming back from Philly, and he sent me this little story from Reddit from 13 years ago.

Speaker 2 And it's fascinating. Okay, let's hear it.
For me,

Speaker 2 for the rest of you, you suck my fucking boss.

Speaker 2 It was April 2nd, 2007, around 9.30 p.m.

Speaker 2 I was coming out of Orlando, Florida, on the 408 West at about exit 12, and I saw a red light reflecting off the buildings and thought it was funny because of how high up it was.

Speaker 2 I thought maybe it was some emergency lights. I saw between the two buildings this red pulsating light that was enveloped in what looked to be a plasma-like shield.

Speaker 2 My best way of describing it would be a red blood cell, complete with plasma membrane. I had a funny thought pop in my head.
So that's what you are.

Speaker 2 When it turned to its left and came up very quickly upon me in my minivan, which I was driving alone, it proceeded to come about 20 20 to 30 feet in front of me and slightly above the van windshield.

Speaker 2 It pulsated a deep red and when the inner sphere would light up the plasma outer clearer sphere would catch the light. The inner sphere reminded me of a front loader washing machine.

Speaker 2 It was not a solid glowing red sphere but instead it appeared to be a red light liquid was washing around. There was an inner yellow light liquid with some white in the very center.

Speaker 2 It was very bright inside and this white light peeking through caused the red color to really light up, making it appear as if you were further away, that it was simply pulsating a red light.

Speaker 2 And as I'm on watching this, I'm realizing the plasma around it is dematerializing. The center red pulsating ball of light started to spin from right to left and stretch,

Speaker 2 and it grew wings.

Speaker 2 Plane wings. It looked a lot like a drone plane, complete with a silvery finish and what looked like a cockpit.
However, there was no tail end to speak of.

Speaker 2 The outer sphere was now completely gone, and it was facing me as I was driving at a constant speed of 75 miles per hour. I had cruise control on.

Speaker 2 Each wingtip, there was a light, one yellow and the other white, blinking on and off, back and forth. At the underbelly was the same red ball of liquid light, still blinking, but it seemed wobbly.

Speaker 2 The best way to describe it would be if you held a baton in the middle and made figure eights with your wrist. It would be that motion, which we were looking at.

Speaker 2 I'm literally looking at some of these drone footage.

Speaker 2 I remember looking back at one point to see if other cars were around me because I noticed the cars all in front of me had pretty much well taken off.

Speaker 2 In my rearview mirror, I saw cars were also far behind me. I was alone.

Speaker 2 Not moments later, after looking, a police cruiser with lights flashing but no siren came from my left and almost side-swipe my van, come between myself and the craft, this drone plane lookalike.

Speaker 2 The craft was directly above the hood of the police cruiser. The craft responded to this by veering off to the right.

Speaker 2 I watched as it grew, for a better lack of term, a spotlight that I believe was behind the red light. And as it had flown up to this brick building, it shined a light on a window on it.

Speaker 2 I tried to watch as it flew away, and I kind of wanted to come back, but I lost sight of it. I'm just saying when I saw that, now that's 13 years ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm looking at this mystery drone in Somerset, New Jersey. It has the same fucking thing that that guy just described.
Yes. That is fascinating to me because what if we're really fucked

Speaker 2 and we don't know jackic about what's going on? I think it just makes it seem like to me that

Speaker 2 it is the government. Sure.
It is us because

Speaker 2 why else would they be keeping it secret? Because I don't think that if everyone knew it was aliens, I don't think it would be the big, you know, big to-do like everyone thinks it is. See,

Speaker 2 because they've told us there's aliens multiple times since COVID started, and no one gives a fuck. I'm back and forth, only just because

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 2 it's so hard to pin it down. I'm looking at, I'm looking at this phenomenon.
They, they want it to be, it's happening in plain sight.

Speaker 2 They

Speaker 2 spent so long. ridiculing anybody that believes

Speaker 2 in this storyline. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now they're leaning in.

Speaker 2 I trust them less now that they say that there's aliens.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Like, I don't.

Speaker 2 I don't need.

Speaker 2 They're hiding their own shit. True, but I don't need the government to fucking tell me it's okay for me to believe.
Right? I don't need that shit.

Speaker 2 I tell myself that it's okay for me to be fucking high and believe. Right.

Speaker 2 But the thing that's weird is why are all the drones different?

Speaker 2 This is in Denver when that drone thing happened a couple years ago all the drones were exactly the same why are all these drones different things why do they look like different shit why are they different sizes why are they doing different stuff why like I don't know what purpose it serves

Speaker 2 to dangle this in front of us I don't know

Speaker 2 that I guess that's my who's like who benefits

Speaker 2 There's no one that benefits. There has to be.
If it's done on purpose, if it's an action by a government, they believe. Then it's to show other governments not to fuck with us.
But why?

Speaker 2 We don't need to show them don't fuck with us. We could fucking blow up the world.
That's true. We are the most powerful.
Yes. America doesn't.

Speaker 2 Guess what, Eddie? They shouldn't be fucking with us. Yeah.
We could very much fuck all of them up. Yeah.
Not to mention our positioning. Dude, we're so far from them.
Yeah. They have no idea.

Speaker 2 That's why we shut the balloon down. That's why we shut the other thing down over Alaska is to show them that we can.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So why? We're not shooting these down. Why? And we have to know that they exist.
Yes, they do. We're seeing it all over the place.

Speaker 2 What's Buddhajej say about this shit? He said something about this new line of like he's doing it's called cum potpourri. Oh, dang.

Speaker 2 And then it spread it into construction sites. I mean, but he's the Secretary of Transportation.
I don't know. This should be his department, right? This should be his people.

Speaker 2 I'm going to write him an email right now.

Speaker 2 Pete Buttigieg. I'm going going to put it right in here.
Pete Buddhaj. How do you even spell his? This is why he can't be president.
How do you spell his name? Buddhaj. Buddhajij.

Speaker 2 He can't be. This is not going to work.
Manifesto. Pete Buddhaj Manifesto.
What's that? It's B-U-T-T-I-G-I-E-G.

Speaker 2 You really put the ass in Buddhaj. Buddhaj

Speaker 2 UFOs.

Speaker 2 Nothing, right?

Speaker 2 He doesn't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 You don't think he doesn't fucking look like one?

Speaker 2 He looks like a guy named Alien.

Speaker 2 He's got that big head.

Speaker 2 Nope. He's been silent.
Silent. Silence is deafening.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Deafening.

Speaker 3 Live from Northwest.

Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Jenny Slate. And believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm Gabe Leidman.

Speaker 5 I'm Max Silvestri. And we've been friends for 20 years, and we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives.

Speaker 6 It's called I Need You Guys.

Speaker 5 Should I give my baby fresh vegetables?

Speaker 4 Can I drink the water at the hospital?

Speaker 6 My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop.

Speaker 4 You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

Speaker 2 I Need You Girl.

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Speaker 2 There's a lot of people that want to put spiritual importances too on the story, but this idea that these, this is this the beginning that we're going to be seeing a lot more in UFO sightings.

Speaker 2 I saw one conspiracy theory saying that. God's an alien? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Or we're aliens, and they're coming to take us back. What's like nuclear crisis?

Speaker 2 The idea that maybe the drones are going to like one conspiracy theory.

Speaker 2 I like this one. It was that this, again, no real.

Speaker 2 This is a conspiracy theory that we're just talking about.

Speaker 2 That's my job.

Speaker 2 So the

Speaker 2 idea that they are moving nukes around to our allies. So ostensibly, if we back out of NATO over the next four years, then

Speaker 2 we'd have to figure out how to get our nukes back if he wanted to use them, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 Or there's something going on. And then all of of the aliens are coming because we're moving the nukes and they have an eye on our nukes.
And they're already

Speaker 2 scared of nukes. Or it's just.
Because if we just start shooting nukes into space, they'd be fucked. I think that it's just more neutral.
I think it's way more like they are.

Speaker 2 Whatever it is that makes this sort of reaction, it reacts to the nukes. And it's not even that they think about the nukes or think about us.

Speaker 2 It's just there's something about even the nuclear material or what we do that attracts either this some form of foreign plasma, right? Like that is just imitating us. Because there's that story too.

Speaker 2 Like, what if it's barely even a thought? Like, what if it forms and it looks like something that we recognize?

Speaker 2 Because it's just this sort of mimicking material that's around the planet Earth that comes from the ocean. Yeah.
And that it's just been here for a long time. And who knows? That's one thing.

Speaker 2 And there's also this thing that they're going to come and they're going to help facilitate a world change. And then there's going to be a new era of peace.

Speaker 2 And I think that that's when it starts getting religious. You think so? That's what, I mean, in terms of that sounds nice.

Speaker 2 I think that anything that's biological that's going to get here is not good news for us. And so I don't think

Speaker 2 the new, I think the new era is not going to include us.

Speaker 2 I mean, well, you know, if you go all the way back to, you know, Christ, if you believe in that, you know, they, you know, as soon as someone starts saying we should all be nice to each other and be peaceful, we'll just kill them.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe what they understood is that they're very, very deep down, we are all connected. Some weird neural network that doesn't need to have God to exist.
It doesn't need to have anything.

Speaker 2 It's literally we are made of the same stuff. We are connected on a much deeper level.

Speaker 2 And maybe one day science will show that and that it does hurt us when we hurt ourselves and that it hurts us as a group and that we maybe could move together as one

Speaker 2 and not think about it as the NWO, that we could understand that we're all just people. Or is that just fucking dumb shit? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, also, alien invasion, people say, is the only thing that could bring the world together. That's what Project Bluebeam says, is they're going to create an NWO by doing a fake alien invasion.

Speaker 2 That's the other thing people are talking about.

Speaker 2 Is it all fake? Because I did get some footage that was just straight up drones. If it was fake, then the government would be talking about it more.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 This is why it's confusing, Eddie. That's why it's because their reaction.
They're not saying, like, oh, we know exactly what what it is. It's just silence.
Yeah. It is just total fucking silence.

Speaker 2 And then we're all just supposed to sit here and act like it's not happening.

Speaker 2 But then, also, I mean, we say it's total silence, but then you got the New Jersey senator saying, one is wanting to know what it is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, in between slurping down pork rolls and fucking his mistress, he doesn't fucking really care. You mean like these guys, senators, don't fucking give a shit.
They're all just

Speaker 2 asking, man. Yeah, he just got an email.
They was like,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean? Like, these senators are garbage. All these fucking pieces of shit.
So, how are you going to believe anything then? I don't. I believe these people.

Speaker 2 I believe in the American people to fuck shit up.

Speaker 2 Because they have been. They really have been.
But

Speaker 2 I believe in humanity. And I believe that there's some kind of lesson that seems to be here.
that we don't know quite what the beginnings of is or what the actual lesson is. And I think that

Speaker 2 it's going to be a little bit before we figure that out. Yeah.
So right now, it's just innocuous activity that has not hurt anything in airspace.

Speaker 2 That's mostly what they're kind of saying. They're waiting for it to fuck up a plane before they'll do anything about it.
That's like one of the big excuses.

Speaker 2 But if I was flying a plane over there, they would shoot me down. Dude, you hear about the story about the one of the stories I got sent this week was about a sovereign citizen that

Speaker 2 crashed his own plane, but almost murdered a commercial flight because he took off his, he just took off in a plane with not telling without telling anybody.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you got to tell people if you're going to take off in a plane. There are rules.
Some rules are there for a reason.

Speaker 2 And there's not a lot of them, not social rules, like not a lot of these rules, but when it comes to the flight in the sky with other machines, that's not about liberty. We need to know.

Speaker 2 We got to know, buddy.

Speaker 2 It's not impinging, man. You know, like, we, believe, of all of the stuff, let's talk about that, buddy.
In the sky, you're not traveling. If you're flying that reel, you must have a license.
Yes.

Speaker 2 That's why there's no flying cars. But look at that.
So that exactly. Except we're about to get flying drones for the 2028 LA Olympics.
Well, I mean, those are taxi drones. Taxi drones? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a really bad idea. Eddie.
But the drivers in LA are so great on the ground. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're definitely going to do great in a 4D space. I feel like...
Every other month, someone I like kind of know gets hit by a car in L.A. It's just fucking crazy.
There's no way. I love Gavork.

Speaker 2 He's my favorite Uber driver, and I can't wait to see him in a B-52. We're going to have so much fun.
Yeah, you can smoke. Tell him you can smoke.

Speaker 2 The best part about these Uber drivers flying the taxis is that they can smoke. Yeah.
Because you can open the window. Oh, yes.
Oh, I mean, David, if you could smoke, I'm for the flying drone taxis.

Speaker 2 That's all. All Uber drivers want to do is be able to smoke in the car.
You're stoned and shit up there? That looks fucking wonderful. No, dude, I'm talking cigarettes, man.

Speaker 2 Oh, you want to go backwards. I was just saying.
I feel like whatever relaxes them. You want to go forwards.
Let Gavork smoke his Bulgarian cigarettes. No, he has to smoke American cigarettes.

Speaker 2 You're right. If he's going to smoke cigarettes, he's smoke our cigarettes.
Thank you, Eddie. Yes, that's right.
Give back. Wow, today was filled with a lot of emotions, wasn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I just talk about it? Do you have any emotions for side stories?

Speaker 2 I got one thing I just want us to keep our eye on, and I don't know much about it. It just happened real quick before we go.

Speaker 2 This story is fucking insane, and I don't get it. It's very serious.
And I feel like no one's talking about it.

Speaker 2 I think I want to talk about it more next week, but here's like a little teaser. Apparently,

Speaker 2 yesterday or two days ago from when you hear this,

Speaker 2 there was a giant gang massacre.

Speaker 2 Haiti.

Speaker 2 If you don't know, Haiti is completely run by gangs now. Oh, it's not doing great.
The government doesn't matter anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 2 There is a government, technically, and they say they are going to go after the gangs because of what happened. But in short,

Speaker 2 one of the gangs leaders, their son got really sick and someone told them that it was a voodoo curse. And so and that the elderly were responsible are the people who practice the voodoo.

Speaker 2 And so he went to a slum and killed 180 residents over 60 years old. You know, that's fine.
And he dragged them all in the street and shot them and stabbed them and killed them.

Speaker 2 And I'm not happy with this guy. I'm not happy with him.
I don't think it was the right choice, but he got stuff done. Well, the prime issue of the money.
And he probably did more for that.

Speaker 2 I mean, think about how hard it is to pass a law in America.

Speaker 2 How hard it would be for Joe Biden to murder 60 voodoo priestesses in a town, like without, you need a warrant and stuff, which takes like 12 hours.

Speaker 2 The gang rounded up scores of residents over 60 from their homes in the Wharf Germain area and shot or stabbed them them to death with knives and machetes.

Speaker 2 Witnesses reported that mutilated bodies were burned in the streets. The death toll could rise.
The UN human rights chief Volkner Turk, which is, I mean, a scary name.

Speaker 2 It's cool. In a way, though, it's kind of funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it at 184 people estimate.

Speaker 2 The number of people killed in gang violence this year in Haiti is over 5,000.

Speaker 2 Jeez, Lou.

Speaker 2 So, like, Haiti is is a small country. It is a very small country.
Lots of the gangs have completely taken over, and they had a mass execution of the elderly this week.

Speaker 2 Um, and they're saying that the gangs control everything and are taking everyone's cell phones away so the residents aren't able to spread information about this attack.

Speaker 2 So, we really don't know anything yet. This, I'm, we will get deeper into the story.
It is a fucking insane story. It is just that is intense.
Yeah, Because

Speaker 2 I'm surprised. Because I guess, like, I'd actually want to know more about that side story.
It's L P O T L at gmail.com. Anyone knows anything, please.

Speaker 2 And the state of voodoo in Haiti is also must be, that is interesting because I thought it was really a popular, like, folk thing. Like, I did not.
It's obviously not real.

Speaker 2 Well, unless you believe it.

Speaker 2 Unless you're getting murdered by a Haitian gang leader over it, then it's pretty fucking real. Yeah.
Also, I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anywhere that the child actually died. The child's just sick.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the thing. I mean, for me.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 When I have a cold, I might as well die. Oh, the kid died? Oh, he did.
Okay, okay. Good?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Not a child. No, it's not good.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying it's good. Also, in just as important news,

Speaker 2 apparently, according to our favorite Gypsy Rose, with her former husband, the D is in fact not fire even though she said uh in a sworn statement that her ex-husband's d was fire

Speaker 2 yes so unfortunately no and i actually can why don't know why she would say that because i'm looking at ryan scott anderson now and yes he does look like winnie the poo

Speaker 2 but you don't think that winny the poo knows how to fuck. It looks like if you cracked him open, Brian Thompson would come out.

Speaker 2 You see, we always come back to humor.

Speaker 2 We always come back to humor.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 wow, what a day. So next week, don't wear, we're almost at Christmas.
I feel like that's also part of the reason why I'm feeling like extra edgy. But I'm happier this year than I've been in years.

Speaker 2 I'm two weeks away. I'm fucking stressed.
Stressmaster. It's a fucking hard holiday season.

Speaker 2 I think that we got to be, I know people talk about this, but we got to be good to each other during this time period. You got to live every day knowing for a fact that, yeah,

Speaker 2 sometimes grandma, she's a fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 But hey, you know, it's Christmas time. Everybody just shut up about it for a little bit.
You can laugh about it with your grandmother. You know what I mean? She's got some fucking bad things to say.

Speaker 2 She's got some bad stuff, bad thoughts in her brain. But, you know, fucking put Sebastian Manescalco on.
Yeah, and smoke weed, dude. Get your grandmother an edible.
Walk, man.

Speaker 2 Help out. Take the dog for a walk.
Go get stoned.

Speaker 2 Some people get paranoid, Eddie, but for those, for those of you, and if you, but if you get paranoid and you're not into it, that's, I totally get it. It's entertainment for everyone else.

Speaker 2 Fucking make yourself come in your asshole. Yeah.
Like, honestly, I want to say that.

Speaker 2 When's the last time you shot one in the air, then threw it down your pants and caught it with your hole? It's hard.

Speaker 2 You come. You come.

Speaker 2 You jerk it, jerk it, jerk and jerk and jerk it. We were just in New York.
And you come in the air

Speaker 2 real far, and then you take off your pants and you lay down on your belly and you try to catch it with your asshole. Yeah, it's called the Bellagio.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was just in New York. Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's cool. So, yes.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Very recently.

Speaker 2 But if you ask my wife, she would say, yes, the D is fire. Yeah.
Because, oh, man, oh, man, when I catch that cum in my asshole, she's the happiest she's ever going to be that week.

Speaker 2 She comes in your ass? No, when I do it for her,

Speaker 2 do the blogging.

Speaker 2 When you're in the blog, yeah, when you blogged. It's a great trick.
That's how I got her. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like, it's just because I'm fucking sexy. That's not just why she's with me.
I'm funny. I'm entertainer.

Speaker 2 I said some stuff today, right? I don't even remember what I said today. I feel like I blacked out in rage.
Well, that's the thing. I promise we're going to get back to the jokes next week.

Speaker 2 I feel like we were still vaguely funny. Yeah, I even got it.
You know,

Speaker 2 big stories. It's big stories, and we got to talk about them.

Speaker 2 You know, and it's, it's, you know, it's hard because it's like the information is very important well it's because but we're also you shouldn't be getting info from us well i think we i think whatever you heard today let this spark your interest and go out and learn a lot more from credible news sources

Speaker 2 that's my only thing though the guardian i trust the guardian i trust the guardian i read the guardian yeah uh yeah I read the guardian. Al Jazeera, honestly, is pretty good.
Yeah. From the outside.

Speaker 2 You know who I trust? I hate them, but you know who I trust? Who? TMZ.

Speaker 2 TMZ knows what's happening the fastest. Like, they have connect.

Speaker 2 I do hate them. Oh, yeah.
But they don't think I don't because

Speaker 2 they break stories faster than anybody else. Oh, my God.
If you hear a rumor that someone's dead, it's like, oh, Prince is dead. It's on.
It's

Speaker 2 there first.

Speaker 2 But we'll do some listener emails tomorrow. Next week, we're going to get really silly right before the holiday.

Speaker 2 I do believe we're going to do a little, we might do a little something extra for the holiday. I think it'll be fun.
Yes. Go see us.

Speaker 2 Go watch the stream. The stream, I promise you, it's going to be a laugh a minute.
What? The last stream on the left? The last stream on the left. Go to patreon.com/slash last podcast on the left.

Speaker 2 Also, check this out. I'm wearing my, for today, I'm wearing my last podcast on the left alien shirt.
That's awesome. Yeah, go pick yours up.
There's lots of good merch available.

Speaker 2 Get your orders in soon if you want them for Christmas.

Speaker 2 We're getting flooded right now. So if you want your shit for the holidays, make sure you put your order in today.
Show people that you are cool with the podcast community.

Speaker 2 Also, I gotta say, might be a merch drop at IvyTunes.com this week. Might be.
I saw some of those. I tried to put in some feedback.
We took your note. Well, we took your note.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
I really appreciate that.

Speaker 2 And yeah, if you want, you go check out Luigi Mangioni's. I think his manifesto will be on the internet for a little while longer.
And if you want

Speaker 2 anything else, you should check out. You should probably give

Speaker 2 your fucking mother a call or something. I think if you have one, you should probably give her a call.
and you should probably.

Speaker 2 This might be a good time for us all to have a very peaceful Christmas season. Yeah, man.
I saw that fucking Amelia Perez movie. What was that? Oh, what is that? Everyone's loving it.
It was garbage.

Speaker 2 Zoe Zeldana. Yeah, Zoe Zeldana musical.
Netflix. Netflix.
It is. You were all saying things.
I don't know who Zoe Zeldana is. You know who Zoe Zeldana is.
Who she is. She's the hot.
Who she is.

Speaker 2 She's Columbiana. Which one?

Speaker 2 Do you remember the movie Columbiana? Nope. She was the hot fucking assassin? Nope.
She's the most popular actress in the world. Avatar.
Yes. Yeah, I know that blue woman.
Yeah. She's been avatar.

Speaker 2 I know that. Oh, yeah.
Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, she's very good.
Yes. She's very beautiful.
Yes. Movie's not good, though, that she's in, though, that you see it is bad.

Speaker 2 It is bad. I love Solo South Ava.
That's why I went to hot. You know, I literally, I was at the IFC Center in New York, and I literally walked out like 40 minutes in.

Speaker 2 I was like, listen, this movie fucking sucks. Can I go see Carrie? Because Carrie was playing.
And then he's like, all right. Yeah, you're the fifth guy.

Speaker 2 You know, he like literally is like, he could tell people the bitching about this movie.

Speaker 2 He was just like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We do know. Are we doing ads for Gladiator 2? I don't think so.
Because I fucking walked out of that movie. That movie sucks.
We both walked out of a movie this weekend in New York.

Speaker 2 But you know what? I didn't walk out of one. Kenzil Washington's great, though.
Yeah. Yeah, he's fine.
Yeah, I didn't see it, but I'm not going to do it, though. Also, go see Anora.

Speaker 2 Anora was wonderful. Everyone's saying Enora is supposed to be great.
It's unbelievable. Sean Baker movies are always great, but Anora was perfect.
Go see Honora.

Speaker 2 If you see anything during this holiday season, I also got my Christmas Day, Nosferatu tickets. Oh, yeah.
I'm going on the 27th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Everybody's talking fucking hot-ass shit about this movie. It looks fucking awesome.
I can't wait to see this movie. He's looking good.
You see Stellan Skarsgaard kissed his son on the mouth?

Speaker 2 He was so happy. Oh, he pulled a Brady.
Tom Brady.

Speaker 2 The other goat. Tom Brady loves kissing his family on the mouth.
He really does. It's weird, right? That's why he, you know, he unretired.
You know, what's he going to do?

Speaker 2 Stay home and play spin the bottle with his kids all day?

Speaker 2 Got you, you fuck. Ha ha.
Fuck you, Tom Brady.

Speaker 2 You big-headed motherfucker.

Speaker 2 Please don't.

Speaker 2 Please don't send the Star Whackers after me.

Speaker 2 Wow, what a great episode.

Speaker 2 Hail Satan, everyone. Oh, yeah, and go to all the other stuff.
LastpodcastLoft.com, buy live tickets. We're going to be doing a lot of different shows.
Are live shows better than ever?

Speaker 2 Ah, go check it out. Yeah, and twitch.tv/slash LPNT.

Speaker 2 And Goodbye is new. And it's the new episode's all about Japan.
Ooh. Oh, my God.
Did you see? We got the numbers back. Brighter side went up over a hundred percent.
You're doing very well.

Speaker 2 Go listen to Brighter Side. We're fucking crushing it right now.
Very well. Come on with it, folks.
I love you guys. We'll see you next week.
Hail,

Speaker 2 hail, my mom. Hail my dad.
Yeah. You know,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry that America killed them. Yes.
But I'm going to confess here, unfortunately, Eddie. It was me.
Oh, shoot.

Speaker 2 But hey, hey, you're funnier than an as an orphan. I am.
The biggest orphan in the world.

Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Jenny Slate. And believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm Gabe Leidman.

Speaker 5 I'm Max Silvestri. And we've been friends for 20 years.
And we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives.

Speaker 6 It's called I Need You Guys.

Speaker 5 Should I give my baby fresh vegetables?

Speaker 4 Can I drink the water at the hospital?

Speaker 6 My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop.

Speaker 4 You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

Speaker 2 I need you guys.

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