Side Stories: The Healthcare Killer

December 11, 2024 1h 9m Episode 996

Henry and Eddie bring you this week’s biggest stories and true-crime news as the country reacts to the killing of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson and the arrest of suspected vigilante assassin heart-throb Luigi Mangione - and then - numerous listeners report first-hand mysterious sightings as suspicious drones continue to swarm the skies of the East coast, Nearly 200 people killed in gang-led massacre in Haiti, and much, much, MORE!

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Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.
Yes. What was Luigi Magnoni doing in the McDonald's? He was ruining his cholesterol count.
Oh, you better be careful with that. Luigi.
Luigi, why? Luigi, why? Tell me, Luigi. You told your mother you were going to be a priest.
Oh, Luigi, you got such a big eyebrow. You make the lady's face.
See, I think it was more like, oh, Luigi, you're such a good boy. Thank you so much.
Luigi, I always remember the day I had you. I had such a shattering orgasm that the doctor thought I was having a seizure.
I came when you were conceived and when you were born. Luigi.
Where's your green overalls, you mook? Yeah. Welcome to Side Stories here with henry zebrowski i'm sitting i'm sitting here with ed larson how you doing and i'm sitting here as far away from henry without still was still being on camera i like being next to you though it is nice we spend a lot of time together we really do we really do so for those of you that don't know...
What happened? Has anything side stories-ish been in the news? There's been a lot of news. Has there been, like...
A lot of news. A lot of news.
Did you know fucking Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are breaking up? Again? Yeah. Again? I just lost $30,000 in the Las Vegas market betting that they would make it.
I can't believe it. And she's pregnant.
Whoa! I just lost $60,000. Put a NUVA ring on it.
Fuck me! I gotta get off this fucking... Oh, God, I gotta...
Celebrity gambling. These bookies are everywhere.
So, for those of you that don't know, see we

were in New York City for this entire

news story. Yes.
We were

in New York City doing

having a blast. We performed in Philly.

Holy fucking shit. Was that show great? Wild show.

We got some more coming up

by the way. Now's the perfect time to just plug them

real quick. Classy Night Out, 1221

8pm Masonic Lodge,

the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. We got Jackie and Cara Clank, Holden McNeely, Amber Nelson, Blair Sochi, Sina Gaznavi and Logan Metz are going to be on that show.
And also, side stories coming to Dad's Garage, which is almost sold out. I can't wait.
And this is going to be a fully improvised show. Not like all the rest of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're professionals at this.
Yeah, well, we won't even have a structure. No, I can't wait.
Usually we have some sort of structure. They're going to tell us what the show is.
That's pretty great. I'm pretty excited.
Yeah. So Dad's Garage, that's going to be on January 12th at 7 p.m.
in Atlanta. So come check us out there.
And more shows are coming. Yes.
And while we were having a fantastic time, a CEO of United Healthcarealthcare, a person by the name of Brian Thompson, was shot dead outside of a Hilton in Manhattan. We now know the whole country went to flame.
And when the story first broke, and I'm proud of us. He kind of looks like the bad guy from Incredibles all growing up, like the kid.
Oh, yeah, he does. He does kind of.
So when the news first hit that there was a shooter, this guy got shot, Brian Thompson. I think it was Tuesday.
We recorded side stories Wednesday of last week. We decided to hold off and wait.
We talked a little bit about on Dan Soder's podcast. We kind of hemmed on all a little bit.
But it was right before the whole story. It was still developing.
I almost didn't believe that it happened at this point still. Cool, because then we recorded the last podcast last week, and that was when the Deny, Depose,

Deli. whole story was still developing i almost didn't believe that it happened at this point still cool because then we recorded the last podcast last week and that was when the deny depose delay that was turns out that the shooter had on the bullet casings carved in this would seem to be sort of like a manifesto and that was when they found the bag of monopoly money also supposedly left by the shooter they had the smiling picture of him flirting with the person at starbucks.
I think he was at the hostel he was flirting with, which is also, again, just let the penis just take a fucking break, Luigi. He is excited.
I know. No, of course, of course.
But we went through a whole, and so we waited, and I think it's good that we waited because now we know who the person is because we were all certain. Everybody I was talking to in New York City, everybody that was around me were all like, he's a professional assassin.
He seemed like it. And he is going to work his way, John Wick style, through the healthcare industry.
And then it just doesn't happen. He's a kid.
A kid by the name of Luigi Mangione, 26 years young. He was found in a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania.
And my God, does he have a body that just won't quit.

Yeah, no, he definitely looks like a G.I. Joe.

Luigi Mangione, he is the most important fuckboy of 2024.

Yeah.

He has done to you crazy.

And those brows want to kiss each other.

And I can roast him because he's a murderer.

Yes.

I can roast him because I'm looking at him.

It's like, not that Brian Thompson looked any better, and I can roast him too. Yes, Brian Thompson is super fucking ugly.
Yeah, this guy's beautiful. Now, it seems that the entire country flipped the ever-living fuck out.
Because it seems that... Eddie, tell me if I'm wrong.
A lot of people are angry with the healthcare industry. Oh, you know, I haven't heard about this.
Isn't that weird? Because at first I was like, why would you be mad at the healthcare industry? Yeah, all they do is take care of you and make you feel better. Nothing.
What I loved was how many times just this year I had to reapply to get my medication that I'm crazy enough to get. Oh, yeah.
And how long long it took to get and then how many times I've had to pay for something out of pocket just for the sake of not wanting to deal with it. And that's also just draining me.
You know what I mean? It's just draining you. It really takes a lot out of you.
I remember when my mom had her blood sugar machine taken from her because she didn't have $800. And then, you know, because it would go off when she would, you know, whenever her blood sugar would taken from her because she didn't have $800.

And then, you know, because it would go off when she would, you know,

whenever her blood sugar would drop.

Did she think of just dying to sort of like do that, just kind of stop the,

because my thing is the,

I feel like the healthcare people got to get so sick of hearing from everybody.

Yeah. I mean, well, the thing is she did.

Yeah.

I mean, a whole lot of her about it. Good for her.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you.
You go and you think about this stuff, and then my father, a couple years later, he finds himself in a little trouble. He gets COVID.
He had me at bad COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then he died, and then we got a nice ... I think we got a $30,000 bill for his death.
Oh, God. Honestly, I'm kind of angry that it wasn't more.
Yeah, well, it was $2 million, and they took care of a lot of it. Oh, wow.
Oh, then why aren't you thanking them? Yeah, you're right. I should just thank them.
We should have been at Brian Thompson's funeral. It was cheaper for him to die than it was for him to keep going.
Now, there's a lot of people that are angry and it's because- Why? Why are people angry? This is the circle of life. People should just be fine with this.
Oh, of course. No, it's just choices that your father made to get COVID and to go to the hospital.
He chose to go to the hospital. He could have died at home.
He could have easily. It would have been free to die at home.
Free? He could have died for free at home, Eddie. Yeah.
Actually, no. Because you would have had to have someone come and pick up his corpse and take it to and you'd have to pay that guy.
That would be probably, that's not covered. No, no, definitely not.
No, None of that would be covered. People are angry because people like Brian Thompson made a lot of money, and they look at us humans walking around as a bunch of numbered, coin-filled pigs.
You could say that he helped contribute to hundreds of thousands of deaths. And Luigi Mangione, who is not, he's not perfect.
No, I don't agree. He's a murderer.
I do not agree with vigilante justice. He's a murderer.
For the record. And so, and I also.
But, you know, you wonder, you know, maybe he was pushed to a limit. I don't know, Eddie.
Because it seems that it's shocking to both the media and the various other CEOs who went immediately into hiding that Brian Thompson would be shot because they didn't think that they would ever be treated like one of the numbered pigs that they look at with no feeling from giant glass towers as we all walk around. Because guess what? This shit comes for everybody.
It comes for everybody. As soon as you, even if you have money, because we talked about this, why did Luigi Mangione do this? He has a manifesto.
I read the manifesto. How was it? Hilarious.
I know he's a Ted Kaczynski fan. Well, I'm kind of sad because we didn't get a shout out.
You'll be on one eventually, Henry. Come on.
Come on, guys, please. Come on, guys.
But he, yes, he is a Ted Kaczynski fan. He said that felt like, which it was very chilling, his final words and his Goodreads review he did of Ted Kaczynski's manifesto.
Under his review of industrial society and its future, he, I think it's really, really interesting. He says that oil barons haven't listened to any environmentalists, but they feared Ted Kaczynski.
I think it's interesting that he went out there. He said, I do think he said that Kaczynski was a violent individual, rightfully imprisoned, because he maimed innocent people.
And in the idea of moving his manifesto along, he did attack innocent people, people that were not a part of the system. And actually, in many ways, that's why Ted Kaczynski was wrong, is that he had a lot of ideas, but he did not want to do anything to really fix them besides kill people and maim things.
And that's not actually, it isn't actually helpful. But what Luigi made...
Lucia had the good grace to live in the woods. I mean, especially from apparently what his balls smelled like.
They said he just smelled like fucking rotting milk 24-7. But hey, what are you going to do? Luigi Mangione is not a hero, but he is a reaction.
And I think that we are seeing why people are extremely angry. And according to his manifesto, his mom was also put through the entire healthcare mill.
And he was put through the health care mill he got a fucking horrible back surgery he's living his life in constant pain he's never come back from it no one there's no help there's nobody to look out for so he did reach a breaking point and it's i'm just actually surprised this is the first time yeah and it'd be different if the company mourned brian thompson. They moved on.
They did the meeting that hour. They did not care about his own death.
They didn't even wait at all. They put up a fucking LinkedIn notice for his job 48 hours later as if some other fucking stupid felt vested Brooks Brothers shirted motherfucker could have just stepped in place.
He's literally just... Someone did step in his place.
So what's that guy feeling right now? He's wearing a bulletproof vest. That's for fucking certain because these guys are...
Because UnitedHealthcare is responsible. They said apparently they have the highest rate of not giving insurance money.
It's like 30% of claims they've denied. They're united on not giving money.
That's the only thing they're supposed to do. And right before, and I talked to you about the manifesto.
I said his mom was run through the mill by health care. He was run through the mill by health care.
And then you said. He's rich.
He's rich. But guess what? It doesn't matter.
Because they will come for every single penny that you have. Because you are vulnerable are sick and they got the fucking medicine pipes and they have the control over it and they hold it over you and they got your head in a fucking bucket and they don't care i don't care whether you live or die thousands of dollars into go fund me campaigns because insurance companies will not cover people's cancer treatment they won't do do it.
It's fucking insane. Or they don't have insurance because they can't afford it in the first place.
One of the new CEOs. It's so crazy because why would they not pay out if it's already so fucking expensive? I pay top dollar for health insurance.
And I still get fucked. Me too.
All the time I get fucked. All the time I get fucked.
Yes. So you wonder why it happened.
Everyone's so confused. Why would this happen? All the media pretending, the media that has been fucking lying to us.
I'll put it this way too. We were coming in.
I was talking about with this Marcus this afternoon. I think it's really interesting is that everyone was obsessed with this story for five days.
He got caught. It's gone.
It's like they've stopped talking about it. Same thing with the fucking what's going on in Syria with the drones.
No one's talking about the fucking drones, which we're going to talk about soon. We shouldn't be the news.
Side story shouldn't be where we're talking about this shit. It shouldn't be here.
I mean, he did the street that is kind of our territory exactly and that's why i'm thankful and for that i'm thankful all i know is someone was shot in williamsburg three nights later and they never found him or give a fuck where's that person's manhunt they threw so much money at this manhunt every across the nation we watched it we watched watched it in front of our eyes in New York City as we were sitting there. They had a phalanx everywhere.
There was like stop points. There were all this.
And you're just like, didn't they just kill three people for like, for skipping fare and subway? Yeah. They just killed like people.
So, you know, there's a world for them and there's a world for us. And weirdly, we're in your world too, guys.
I thought we could be good enough at entertainment to go to the better world. All right? We can't get there.
All right? So it's fucked for everybody. If it's fucked for us, it's fucked for everybody.
All right? So these guys, and you know, and then I wonder, why did he get caught? He wanted to get caught. He definitely wanted to get caught.
But I have a little theory about whether or not- But he was hiding. It was where he is interested.
It was like he didn't know if he wanted to get caught or not. But now I'm putting thoughts in his head.
Sure. Well, my, I will put this this way.
I'm going to, I keep saying that he's, he has fuck boy vibes, right? Yeah. He's a young guy.
Yeah. Good looking guy.
Valedictorian. A lot of people were.
But he's a good looking guy. Watched from every school, not many.
He's obviously deeply plugged into social media. He's a young person.
I think that he saw his own attention that he was receiving. And I think he really liked it.
And I think that it was, obviously he wanted the attention. He wanted to do something like and have people read his manifesto and move on.
But it's, I do think that that's where the faulty reasoning came in. Is that he probably should have been long, long, long, long gone.
But instead they found him in Altoona, Pennsylvania. Like not that far.
It's not even that far. Nope.
So they, and then I think a lot of people are giving shit to the person that ratted him out, the person that saw his picture. Because number one, I love everybody and I loved all the funny little memes about him, but the memes helped him get caught.
They absolutely helped him get caught. Oh, for sure.
Because it blasted his picture everywhere, right? And then two, so it served a function. And then two people are now attacking, I believe it was a McDonald's employee that called him in.
But even though that money, they were given, I think it was a $10,000 reward. It was up to $60,000.
But I don't think they got the $60,000. They're not getting any of it because they didn't call Crime Stoppers.
They called the wrong line. So they're not getting any of the money.
They get none of it? They get none of it. Because.
I was just talking to Cena about it upstairs. What they do is they lowball us.
They lowball us, right? Because that person that called in desperately needed that money. Yeah.
That is the only reason why they would get involved. Who would call the police voluntarily and bring them to their job? Nobody.
Nobody would really do. Unless it was like somebody that...
I'm not saying real criminal. He is a real criminal.
He's a killer. How do you feel about the person who turned him in? I mean, personally.
I don't feel bad for them. I know that they.
They need money. They needed the money.
They worked at fucking McDonald's. They needed the money.
They needed the money. That people have turned their fucking brother in for 60 grand.
Yeah. So they got, and what's hard is to say to somebody like that, even that kind of money is not going to fix everything.
No, 60 grand really isn't that much. It's fucked.
I couldn't believe the number was that low. I thought for sure that was like a $100,000 reward at the bare minimum.
That's how they don't give a fuck. Little they think of us.
Yeah. That's how little they think of us.
This is like the guy who's top. You figure the guy at the top gets killed.
There'd be a big reward. No.
Nothing. I mean, his own people didn't care.
His wife had to put out a statement when Brian Thompson's wife, they put out a statement saying he's a loving father. A lot of people come forward saying he's a nice guy.
I know a lot of people are a nice guy. They're separated, right? Apparently, Goebbels was hilarious.
Yeah. So was Bill Cosby.
It's hard. And I don't think he's in that level.
I'm just saying that like, yes, it's just he took the money and the goal for him to make his money. You don't think Goebbels is as funny as Bill Cosby? Is that what you're trying to say to me right now? I don't.
Definitely not. Bill Cosby is by far.
Okay. Let's just say this outright.
I'm saying this on the show. Bill Cosby is definitely funnier than Goebbels.
It's not a question. Did Goebbels

have even one special?

No. No, he didn't.

I guess David Tell hasn't either, so.

He's had plenty of specials. I thought he's had no specials.

He's had plenty. I thought he only had a half an hour.

He never had a full hour. Oh, he's done

lots. He's done crowd work specials.
He had a couple

on Comedy Central, I think. Well, then I take it back.
David

Tell's nothing like Goebbels. Also, I produced

Bumping Mikes. But that's like him and Jeff.
Yeah. But, you know, it's comedy special.
I'm just saying. That the person next to you produced.
I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I brought it up.
He's nothing like Goebbels. I take it.
I scratch it from the record. He's nowhere near.
He's nowhere near as funny as Davidell. Okay.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yes. I besmirch the good name of Davittell.
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That's why it's like I think a lot of people, obviously we have advertisers and there's going to be a lot of people saying like, and I don't think that murder is the solution. the solution but at some point i've never seen anyone get murdered and the world be so happy it happened because again since like bin laden and saddam hussein and you know why it's the reason why is because of the way they look at us that's why yeah it's because just for one time, that CEO got treated like some other nameless person in the street that they're used to.
They live in a separate world. They get the best health care in the world.
And they're in fucking millions. They get everything.
They get everything. Dude got over $10 million before bonuses in one year.
And how did he get that money? By cutting as much as he possibly could. And when he cuts, it's not like, this isn't Frito-Lay.
You know what I mean? This isn't like, oh, you know, which I do get mad about the fact that they're definitely putting less chips in the bags. Oh, yeah.
We know this. We know this.
It's shrinkflation. Don't even get me started.
Oh, you want to hear me really go. Right? But, you know, it's not that, all right? It's every time they cut, people die.
So that's why it's very charged. So, I mean, this guy's going to get the book thrown at him.
We're going to find out a lot more about him. What do you think his jail life's going to be like? Do you think he's going to be a hero? I think that eventually he'll just...
They don't care, right? Nah, I don't know. He's going to be in a federal prison.
Yeah, I think that he'll... It depends.
He's a young guy. Or a touch state.
It was a murder in New York. Yeah, he'll go to federal prison.
He should be in Rikers. I don't know.
I actually don't know. They might have to protect him for a while.
Who knows? But again, I think that he's also throwaway. Like, fuck Luigi.
Fuck. Like, it's not even about it.
It's about the moment in time and everyone's so everyone's wondering why this, like, why everybody's so angry and why they feel so justified. And it's just because this one single issue, it unites every single one of us.
Every person in America knows somebody who got very sick and couldn't afford their health care. Whether they helped them or they didn't, they know somebody or they had someone in their family or it was a parent or a child.
And guess when they fuck you? When you're most vulnerable. Yeah.
They know it and they smell it in the water like sharks. They know that you're fucked.
That you have to pay. You have to pay.
Honestly, I can't say on record enough that I don't condone this behavior. No.
But I'm certainly very surprised it hasn't happened before. Well, we'll see what happens.
You know what I mean? We had one child. This is the second child assassin.
Well, the first one wasn't an assassin because Trump never got shot. I'm just saying that straight now.
I'm not even going to fuck around with that anymore. Trump was never shot.
It doesn't seem like it. No.
So we made a big deal over that guy. And now we're also going to see the media very much try to shatter any sort of belief in Luigi Mangione because unfortunately the internet requires you to have some form of moral purity even if you're an assassin.
So they're going to come after his like, you know, he'll probably have said the R word on a video somewhere and then everyone's not going to care anymore. Is he going to get cancelled now? Is he going to get cancelled? That's literally all they're they're gonna do but they're already like setting it all up because they're so i love you to murder someone and then like well we're gonna might have to cancel this guy it's just unfortunately that's how the internet works because they are not really grasping how fucking serious everything is they're just not they will yet they cannot understand that we're joking to death.
And this is from a comedian. Yeah.
So it's hard. We have to figure out what's serious, what's not serious, what's funny about it.
I think the funniest thing about Luigi Mangione is the fact that he could get his fucking eyebrows sculpted and probably should have the second because that was the only anybody recognized for him was his Groucho Marx fucking eyebrows. He definitely should have went to got some threading done.
He was already in New York. There's eyebrows.
He didn't try hard enough. He's everywhere.
Yeah, I don't think he tried enough to disappear. Well, I think also the eyebrows, you know, some people, some people really dig it.
Yeah, they do. They do.
I'm not going to say again. That is the one thing I cannot say against him.

He is attractive. Now, one rumor I've been hearing a lot, a conspiracy theory I've been hearing a lot is that it's not him.
No, it's him. Because they released different pictures of guys in different jackets.
I'm pretty sure they just had the wrong guy in one of those pictures. It's possible.
You want another big old conspiracy theory from Henry Zebrowski? Is that they don't really want to talk about the way that they caught him. Because if we really understood how far they could see us from space, we would not feel good.
Yeah. I think that if we knew that if there was...
I mean, he was good for days. think that they just didn't I don't think like how do you put this I think there's a kind of a period of time where like maybe he's going to turn himself in you're talking to all these forensics experts it seems to be a political hit he might turn himself in if we tell him we have all this information on him he might show up I think that it makes everybody look like they're feeling a part of the investigation, which I think helps the media and the police.
I think that they maybe corroborated his location with an in-person sighting, but I do think that they don't want to broadcast the fact that they kind of maybe knew where he was really quickly, because maybe they can see us from space. And they are.
And that the surveillance technology is so good that they literally have to pretend that it's not very good. So they let him get away with it for three days? No.
They just... Followed him? Well, they had to make sure it was him.
Yeah. But I think that they had a much more detailed idea.
You don't think they were just picking up random dudes in the street that looked just like them and fucking taking their pants off and slapping their asses and putting their fingers in their butts?

What levels are we?

So there's the beat cop, the guys you're going to go send out to do all that shit.

I saw some cops when I was walking around New York.

I was like, you guys find them yet?

They literally threw their hands up in the air.

Like they could give a fuck.

Of course not.

What the fuck? They literally are. If you're a beat cop in New York, you've got a they could give a fuck.
Of course not. What the fuck?

They literally are.

If you're a beat cop in Newark, you got a lot going on.

And just another dead guy.

All right.

Where it's like, then you got the higher level.

You got the homicide section, which is kind of doing a little broad.

And then you have the FBI.

And once the FBI gets involved and then they got some kind of private contracting thing

or like somebody else they talk to, they call up somebody from the military.

You never, you don't know.

You don't know what they have access to.

Do you think he did like everything he could to not get caught or do you think he wanted to get caught i think my my i mean al tuna that's definitely a place you go where you don't want to be found yeah absolutely my full out of the ass opinion we're putting yeah we're just throwing our thoughts into his brain so it doesn't matter I think that he saw the thirst and he saw the attention and he lingered I think that he saw how much everybody wanted to fuck him and there's just so hard as a 26 year old but he's got a bad back he should be fucking with that back you're right i take it back you know i think that he i get i put the my human my the human layer i'll put in is that i think that he legitimately saw how popular he was and he wanted the credit it's not far no he really didn't get that far he's only like hours away. That's why I also just kind of wonder if, yeah, if there's something, something happened in there.
And then he, so he had his ghost gun with him. He had 3D printed a gun.
I mean, that's a good thing that's going to happen about this. They're going to fucking definitely crack down on ghost guns now.
I mean, we'll see how difficult it is to get. They're going to, they're never going to crack down.
They're pretty much legal. They're literally never going to crack down on a gun anywhere ever.
They will never crack down on anything. It wasn't until 2022 that they started, like, making the kits where you had to, like, fucking fill out a, what is it called? How do you, when you buy a gun? Oh, when you, like, register? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you get your, like, gun license? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before, you could just buy one, but now you have to actually apply for one.

Yes, but still, you can get all of the 3D printed gun parts online are extremely easy to get.

We've seen there's now been several crimes, high profile crimes that have used ghost guns. We know that you can also put them together using other pieces, using pieces from non-3D printed guns.

But he kept the gun, which my mind says he was planning to do something else. Should have just melted it.
I don't know why he kept the gun, but I do think that there's an issue here where he's a young man that saw the attention and he was excited about it and he didn't know what to do. He's not a professional assassin.
He's just a young man that wanted to. He seemed like it well he was he thought about it for a long time yeah he thought he thought about it for a long time and he probably tried he practiced probably with the gun a couple times yeah but definitely a sociopath he's it's i think that you'd put him in the side stories l potl at gmail.com are you a sociopath if you can feel those emotions i don't know if you can't i think that sociopaths wouldn't feel the excitement oh i think i hate brian thompson as much as luigi i will say i don't know brian thompson so i will not say i hate that man right i think that that man thought that as everyone does, they're the hero.

Everyone's a hero of their own story.

So in his own mind, he's got his wife and his kids and they go to fucking some private school and everybody's got to say he's taking care of all of his bullshit.

And he's a good guy.

He gives him maybe he'll give a Planned Parenthood every year.

And maybe he goes and he he'll buy like a wreath from a poor person every once in a while. And he says, you see, honey, I did good.
You see what I did? Like, I'm certain that he's not, you know, running over dogs and beating the help and stuff. I'm certain that if you met his maid, she'd be like, he don't kill me.
Yeah. You know, like, but I think that if you, Brian Thompson, just, you know, he was a part of an industry.
He might as well have been in the weapons industry. Yes, exactly.
And then I think that you just don't know what you're asking for with that. Because when you're a CEO, it all falls on you.
Yeah. You're the face.
You're the face. And it was a big face.

Big head.

Huge head.

Yeah.

Dude had like a fucking 40-pound head.

But yeah, I'm not going to malign the man.

I'm not going to malign the man because I don't know the man.

But I do know that it does take a tight-

I don't know him, but I fucking hate his ass because of his face and his job.

I think anyone who's the CEO of a company like that can go fucking hell. Well, you're definitely making money on the pain of millions of human beings.
I don't think he deserved to die. But maybe take his pants down and spank him in front of a bunch of people.
I have been saying this for so long. I still feel like we could just- Public spankings.
If we could bring out all the CEOs and politicians,

if we could make them dress up like jesters

and make them do it like once a month

where they all have to embarrass themselves

and wallow around a bunch of paid shit. Pull out their tiny little dickies

and just get slapped around a little bit.

I'll tell you what. People

United States of America will stop murdering

you guys if you just let us

do that once a month.

And we can all show up and everyone

can pay a dollar. I can pay a dollar and I

can go throw a water balloon filled with Thank you. you guys, if you just let us do that once a month and we can all show up and everyone

can pay a dollar, I can pay a dollar and I can go throw a water balloon filled with good pud into the face of a senator. Yes.
Oh my God. God, how I would get so much out of that.
But, you know, this is now we'll see. I feel like, again, I don't know.
I don't think anybody also really understands how bad the revolution will be for everybody in between. I think there's a lot of people online that are always like, oh my god, leftist revolution.
And it's like, but I don't think you understand that after the first wave of the revolution that's when the mass executions happen, that's when all the kind of bad stuff happens. So I don't know if people are going to want a full-on big one, but it's just important for us all to remember the fight is not between us.
It's between us and them. And they're going to do everything they can to make us fight each other.
They're going to call us racist. They're going to call us stupid.
They're going to do everything that they can to make sure that we're all fighting each other and not all fighting them.

Exactly.

Yep.

And maybe a good example of that is what the fuck is going on with these drones?

Oh, good segue.

All right, so let's go look at this real quick.

Now, when we were in-

What do you mean real quick?

This is the biggest alien news since I've been alive, and you're just going to blow right past it?

Well, you know, it's funny because now I'm almost at the it's past aliens point.

Thank you. alive and you're just going to blow right past it? Well, you know, it's funny because now I'm almost at the it's past aliens point.
Okay, so you don't think it's aliens. I don't know what the fuck it is.
Drones the size of Buicks. I don't know what the fucking fuck it is.
That's not something, although it does sound like something a Jersey dude would make in his closet. Oh, yeah.
Look at that right there. It's called the Santa Maria.
Yeah, nice. Right there.

We're going to go up there. It's got a godfather horn

on it.

But I

have a couple of interesting takes here.

I asked the audience last

week when we were doing our episodes, those of you

that care, what

the fuck is going on with these drones? Because

New Jersey, now if you're looking at footage

right now, we're looking from NBC4,

the drone footage from New Jersey,

I don't know. care.
What the fuck is going on with these drones? Because New Jersey, now if you're looking at footage right now, we're looking from NBC4, the drone footage from New Jersey, I cannot state enough how many emails I've received with personal footage of the drones. I'm talking 25, at least, videos from New Jersey.
From their own phones. Yes.
Staten Island, I've got emails from. I've got emails from Ohio.
I had emails from North Carolina, South Carolina, all showing the same, literal, same, exact, different styles of drones. Because the thing that is most curious about what's going on, for those of you who don't know, there has been these wave of drone sightings seen over New Jersey, over the U.S.
Airfield in U.K., Lankanheath, and all over the eastern seaboard. And apparently some off the west coast as well, but I didn't see photos of those.
The thing about these drones is that, yes, some of them do just look like drones. Droney.
Drone-esque. The problem is that they're all different types.
We've got orbs, circles, boomerangs. We've got things that look like mini planes, but the lights are wrong.
Yeah. And the size is wrong.
So they're super small mini planes. But I thought they have the right lights as far as like left and right.
Well, they do, but then they'll have a bunch of weird middle lights. And then a bunch of different colored lights that they don't normally use.
Things with blue lights. A lot of things similarly just red lights.
It's very, very strange. And while all of this is going on in New York, right, we're running around.
The city is insane. The city's on fire, right? Yeah.
Well, it's Christmas season. It's also Christmas.
So it's packed. And it's just a very intense week honestly.
It was cool but it was a very very heavy

week. Yeah.
And

everybody is just sort of

not caring. Right? So

they have a bunch of people. The government keeps

saying don't worry about these drones.

They're not doing anything. They're not doing anything.

They're just up there. But I mean

I agree with that almost. Sure.

Yes. But the footage I'm looking at and and I'm talking each one, the helicopters are following them.
F-16s are being scrambled. That's what, uh, that's what Napa always says.
There's black helicopters whenever you see, uh, then he says those black helicopters might be UFOs. So this, so again, this is how far it's going.
This is another, like like this senator, a guy, a New Jersey senator, John Bramnick, again, a Republican. Republicans are the only time Republicans jump into anything that I care about, which is the he's been saying that the public receipt must receive an explanation regarding these multiple sightings.
The Governor Phil Murphy went as far as to say that the drone sightings are under

investigation. They all keep saying they don't know

what it is. And if you look at the

footage, they are

physical. Yes.
And

I got some great opinions from the crowd. I want to

get some great opinions from the show. So I want to go through

some of these great little letters I got

in response to why now.

Also, thank you everyone who

wrote in. So many people wrote in.

Keep them coming. Please send in the footage

as you get it. You know we

I don't know. in response to why now.
Also, thank you everyone who wrote in. So many people wrote in.
Keep them coming. Please send in the footage as you get it.
You know we fucking are horny for it. Yeah.
The drone story is way more than the news is sharing. Last year, a large amount of drones were over Langley Air Force Base in Virginia.
A mass of drones literally flew into the base, flew around, and then straight up vanished. The base tried to keep it hushed up and went as far as telling families and military housing to not discuss the issue.
What was also hidden was the fact that the government acronym groups were brought into the base for an extended period of time. Since then, Langley has kept their lips sealed as far as any discussion with those below a certain rank.
Lank and Heath has been insane with discussion too. The base has a confessionals page on Facebook where everyone posts anonymously.
One post was up about the drones in July, and since then, they've attempted to also queil the topic. OSI watches that page, so they are privy to the immense nonsense and OPSEC violations shared.
They have weighed in on occasion, and people posting in the group have been questioned by OSI agents on several topics. I don't really recommend the group as a disqualifying source beyond gossip because it is one of those things.
There's a lot of stuff going on there. As there is a bizarre amount of panty-sniffing confessions.
Which, you know, you never know. Here we go.
This is another one. What is OSI? Operation of Special Investigations.
What's it? The Office of Special Investigations. Henry recently asked on side stories.
Attack of the of the drones why the activity is happening now my two senses is that this stuff happens more often than we think but places tinfoil head on head the media wants to distract us from all the terrible stuff happening in the world right now world war three israel palestine turks with syria and south korea russia and the like none of it was on the news do we had we have South Korea also declare martial law for like six hours? Yeah, and all this with Syria. None of it was on the news.
Well, Syria was all over the news. But guess what it was covered with? All of the dumb shit that whatever fucking Fatboy was saying.
Yeah. New president was saying.
And so Fatboy was just talking and all they do is run every single fucking syllable that he says because they couldn't possibly give a fucking shit about any one of us. Well, because that's what sells.
Well, guess what? This should sell. This is very interesting.
I think so, but I don't think many people care, man. I guess not.
By the way, I spoke to my friend's father-in-law drunk at his wedding. He revealed to me he's a retired aerospace engineer who worked on some top secret projects for the United States military.
He cannot go into detail about the stuff he did, but he did say it had to do with weapons. I asked him what he thinks about all the UAP events going on.
I found his answer very compelling. He said he believes that whatever the famous Tic Tac videos were, were human made, and they essentially essentially hyper secret weapons, aircraft that were basically unveiled to these pilots in particular to see how they would react in the moment like a test.
Not only to see how they would approach the aircraft and if they kept their cool in the air, but to see what happens when they land. Will they follow protocol and keep it a secret or would they be able to handle seeing something they had no answer for? These would be need-to-know answers not only for our men, but how adversaries would react as well.
Once these encounters occur, the clock starts ticking. How long can the government keep a secret? Again, probably a good thing for them to know.
We'll find out. I am now of the mind that some of this stuff is man-made technology.
It has to be. It has to be.
Some is too much. But it makes sense for that Tic Tac video.
I will still believe the Tic Tac video is a UFO until I see other information. There's no reason not to believe it's not a UFO.
Why would you think it wasn't a UFO? I don't know. Technically, that's what they want me to think, right? That it is a UFO.
Yeah. So I wonder, right? I said, I wonder.
But that hyper-secret technology was displayed out in the middle of the ocean, right? Like, when the USS Indianapolis saw that, they were dead in the middle of the Pacific on a training run. Like, they were near civilization so there's a lot of people that i've i have heard and i've heard i i understand why you think that that this could be secret technology that we're testing but why the fuck would we be testing it in such a public aspect we've never done this before we've never done it like this across the eastern seaboard and then act like it's nothing.
It's like, no, with Roswell, they gave us an excuse. With other things, they tell you what it is.
They just said when we showed the pictures of what we shot over Alaska in Canada the other week. They acted like they didn't at first, they didn't know what it was, but they still don't know what it is.
They just don't know what it was, and they shot it down anyway? And it looked like something they couldn't recognize? But they shot it down. So why aren't they shooting this stuff down? Well, it's overpopulated areas.
But why then? So I just don't understand. But yeah, it's double sure to shoot it down.
Then definitely shoot it down. Well, because then it'll fall on the people.
You can't shoot it down. What if it's going to be dropping bombs on the people? Well, then the bombs are still in the plane.
But you've got to shoot the planes. You've still got to shoot the planes.
Then it crashes and the bomb blows up. I don't know.
I'm just saying. I just don't really fully understand why they would test it out loud in front of that many human beings.
It just doesn't seem to work like that. But this is a...
Could be private. We don't know.
This last little opinion I think is fascinating. I'm an electrical engineer who was in college when drones were really taking off as a thing 10 years ago.
So I've had a fascination with them ever since. My theory is that this is companies testing new ways to mass deploy offensive AI-powered drones, suicide drones.
My rationale. The Russo-Ukrainian war is left-frog offensive drone technology and anti-drone defenses.
Ukraine has begun using swarm of suicide drones to swarm targets. These drones cost $400 to $10,000 a piece if you bought them off Amazon, and they are destroying tanks that cost a million-plus dollars, it's an amazing trade-off.
But most commercial drones have a maximum range of five miles before any additional equipment is added. This makes it so these drone swarms are useless against Russian artillery, which is usually fired 15 miles from its target.
Artillery is the main thing Ukraine has had difficulty fighting against, since you need to either hit it with your own artillery or with airstrikes. Ukraine has needed to ration its artillery shells, firing 2,000 a day compared to Russia firing 10,000 a day, and airstrikes can easily be countered if you know where they will target.
So you either need to get the drones to start closer to the artillery or have longer flight range. The two easiest ways to do this would be to fly the drones closer to the target.
Drones usually need to take off like a helicopter or to be thrown like a toy plane. So they could test, they could be test dropping them from planes that get them to take off because you don't want to either have drone collisions that destroy half the swarm on launch.
But again, this is happening in front of our cities. So I don't know if, if it works like that, but I'd like this concept of that's where maybe the private money is.

It's like, can you show

the U.S. military we can

sneak up on you? Can you

show the

police and the FBI

that the drones can just

out of nowhere?

I mean, well, there's a very good

chance, I feel like, that the drones are ours. that they are the military, showing everyone else what we got.
But then, so Alex or coffee guy? Let's just say he's paranoid, right? Love my beloved Spring Hill Jack coffee. There's a fucking reason why those beans are so fucking delicious.
Reptilian in the morning, he is awake. My man, his eyelids are peeled peeled you don't see like he sees yeah we have been talking for days i think there's staple gun to the back of his head whatever makes those beans good i told him you do whatever it takes so you know last week i was talking about oh it's aliens people don't want to notice i just think this is i think that there's something going on.
Yeah. And we don't quite know what it is.
I'm going to go ahead, which is what I always say, because I am a clinical full-on, I am utterly agnostic. So I believe it's all things.
I believe that there's very possibly to have, there's alien technology that looks like us. There's us, that we've made stuff to look like alien technology and technology that we have figured out our own stuff that we want people to think is ufos blah blah blah right all this shit yeah but this is a so we were coming back from philly and he sent me this little story from reddit from 13 years ago and it's fascinating Okay, let's hear it.
For me. For the rest of you, you suck my fucking balls.
It was April 2nd, 2007, around 9.30 p.m. I was coming out of Orlando, Florida, on the 408 West at about exit 12.
I saw a red light reflecting off the buildings and thought it was funny because of how high up it was.

And thought maybe it was some emergency lights. I saw between the two buildings this red pulsating light that was enveloped in what looked to be a plasma-like shield.
My best way of describing it would be a red blood cell, complete with plasma membrane. I had a funny thought pop in my head.
So that's what you are. when it turned to its left and came up very quickly upon me

in my minivan,

which I was driving alone, it proceeded to come about 20 to 30 feet in front of me and slightly above the van windshield. It pulsated to deep red and when the inner sphere would light up, the plasma outer clear sphere would catch the light.
The inner sphere reminded me of a front loader washing machine.

It was not a solid glowing red sphere,

but instead it appeared to be a red light liquid was washing around.

There was an inner yellow light liquid with some white in the very center.

It was very bright inside,

and this white light peeking through caused the red color to really light up,

making it appear as if you were further away, that it was simply pulsating a red light and as I'm watching this I'm realizing the plasma around it is dematerializing the center red pulsating ball of light started to spin from right to left and stretch and it grew wings plane wings it looked a lot like a drone plane complete with a silvery finish and what looked like a cockpit however there was no tail end to speak of the outer sphere was now completely gone and it was facing me as i was driving at a constant speed of 75 miles per hour i had cruise control on each wing tip a light. One yellow and the other white.
Blinking on and off, back and forth. At the underbelly was the same red ball of liquid light, still blinking.
But it seemed wobbly. The best way to describe it would be if you held a baton in the middle and made figure eights with your wrist.
It would be that motion. Which we were looking, I'm literally looking at some of of these drone footage i remember looking back at one point to see if other cars were around me because i noticed the cars all in front of me had pretty much well taken off my rear view mirror i saw cars were also far behind me i was alone not moments later after looking a police cruiser with lights flashing but no siren came from my left and almost sideswiped my van, come between myself and the craft,

this drone plane lookalike.

The craft was directly above the hood of the police cruiser.

The craft responded to this by veering off to the right.

I watched as it grew, for a better lack of term,

a spotlight that I believe was behind the red light

and as it had flown up to this brick building,

it shined a light on a window on it. I tried to watch as it flew away and I kind of wanted to come back, but I lost sight of it.
I'm just saying, when I saw that, now that's 13 years ago. Yeah.
I'm looking at this mystery drone in Somerset, New Jersey that has the same fucking thing that that guy just described. Yes.
That is fascinating to me because what if we're really fucked and we don't know jackdick about what's going on?

I think it just makes it seem like to me that it is the government.

Sure.

It is us because why else would they be keeping it secret?

Because I don't think that if everyone knew it was aliens, I don't think it would be the big to-do like everyone thinks it is. See, because they've told us there's aliens multiple times since COVID started and no one gives a fuck.
I'm back and forth. Only just because it's so hard to pin it down i'm looking at i'm looking at this phenomenon they they want it to be it's happening in plain sight they spent so long ridiculing anybody that believes in this storyline yeah now they're leaning in i trust them less now that they say that there's aliens.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't I don't need they're hiding their own shit. True, but I don't need the government to fucking tell me it's okay for me to believe.
Right? I don't need that shit. I tell myself that it's okay for me to be fucking high and believe.
But the thing that's weird is why are all the drones different? In Denver, when that drone thing happened a couple years ago, all the drones were exactly the same. Why are all these drones different things? Why do they look like different shit? Why are they different sizes? Why are they doing different stuff? I don't know what purpose it serves to dangle this in front of us.
I don't know. I guess that's my...
Who benefits? There's no one that benefits. There has to be.
If it's done on purpose, if it's an action by a government, they believe... Then it's to show other governments not to fuck with with us but why? we don't need to show them don't fuck with us we could fucking blow up the world that's true we are the most powerful guess what Eddie they shouldn't be fucking with us we could very much fuck all of them up not to mention our positioning dude we're.
Dude, we're so far from them. Yeah.
They have no idea. That's why we shut the balloon down.
That's why we shut the other thing down over Alaska is to show them that we can. Yeah.
So, why? We're not shooting these down. Why? And we have to know that they exist.
Yes, they do. We're seeing it all over the place.
What's Buttigieg say about this shit? He said something about this new line of like he's doing, it's called cum potpourri.

Oh, yum.

Spread it into construction sites.

I mean, but he's the secretary of transportation.

This should be his department, right? This should be his people.

I'm going to write him an email right now.

Pete Buttigieg, we're going to put it right here.

Pete Buttigieg, how do you even spell his, this is why he can't be president. How do you spell his name? Buttigieg.
Moodle-chee-chee-chee-chee-chee-chee-cheeigieg manifesto? What's that? It's B-U-T-T-I-G-I-E-G. You really put the ass in Buttigieg.
Buttigieg UFOs. Nothing, right? He doesn't give a fuck.
You don't think he doesn't fucking look like one? He looks like a goddamn alien. He's got that big head.
He's been silent. Silence is deafening.
Yes? Deafening. Right from your grave.
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There's a lot of people that want to put spiritual importance, too, on this story, but this idea that this is the beginning, that we're going to be seeing a lot more in UFO sightings. I saw one conspiracy theory saying that...
What, God's an alien? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. We're aliens.
And they're coming to take us back. It's like a nuclear crisis.
The idea that maybe the drones are going to, like, one conspiracy theory. I like this one.
It was that, this again, no real facts. I mean, this is a conspiracy theory that we're just talking about.
That's my job. So, the idea that they are moving nukes around to our allies.
So ostensibly, if we back out of NATO over the next four years, then we'd have to figure out how to get our nukes back if he wanted to use them, blah, blah, blah. Or there's something going on.
And then the aliens are coming because we're moving the nukes and they have an eye on our nukes. And they're attracted to- Because they're scared of nukes.
Or it's just- Because if we just start shooting nukes into space, they'd be fucked. I think that it's just more neutral.
I think it's way more like they are- whatever it is that makes this sort of reaction, it reacts to the nukes. And it's not even that they think about the nukes or think about us.
It's just there's something about even the nuclear material or what we do that attracts either this, some form of foreign plasma, right? Like that is just imitating us. Because there's that story too.
Like what if it's barely even a thought? Like what if it forms and it looks like something that we recognize because it's just this sort of mimicking material that's around the planet Earth that comes from the ocean.

Yeah.

And it's just been here for a long time.

And who knows?

That's one thing.

And there's also this thing that they're going to come

and they're going to help facilitate a world change

and then there's going to be a new era of peace.

And I think that that's when it starts getting religious.

You think so?

I mean, in terms of...

That sounds nice.

I think that anything that's biological that's going gonna get here is not good news for us. And so I don't think...
I think the new era is not gonna include us. I mean, well, you know, if you go all the way back to, you know, Christ, if you believe in that, you know, as soon as someone starts saying we should all be nice to each other and be peaceful, we'll just kill them.
Well, maybe what they understood is that very, very deep down, we are all connected. Some weird neural network that doesn't need to have God to exist.
It doesn't even have anything. It's literally we are made of the same stuff.
We are connected on a much deeper level. And maybe one day science will show that and that it does hurt us when we hurt ourselves and that it hurts us as a group and that we maybe could move together as one and not think about it as the nwo that we could understand that we're all just people or is that just fucking dumb shit yeah well also alien invasion people say is the only thing that could bring the world together.
That's what Project Bluebeam says, is they're going to create an NWO by doing a fake alien invasion. That's the other thing people are talking about.
Is it all fake? Because I did get some footage that was just straight-up drones. If it was fake, then the government would be talking about it more.
I don't know. This is why it's confusing, Eddie.
That's why it's because their reaction. They're not saying like, oh, we know exactly what it is.
It's just silence. Yeah, it is just total fucking silence.
And then we're all just supposed to sit here and act like it's not happening. But then also, I mean, we say it's total silence, but then you got the New Jersey senator saying, is wanting to know what it is.
Yeah, in between slurping down

pork rolls and fucking his mistress, he doesn't

fucking really care. You mean like, these guys,

senators don't fucking give a shit.

At least he's asking, man. Yeah, he just got

an email that was like,

you know what I mean? Like, these senators

are garbage. All these fucking

pieces of shit. So how are you going to

believe anything then? I don't.

I believe these people.

I believe in the American people to fuck shit up. Because they have been.
They really have been. But I believe in humanity.
And I believe that there's some kind of lesson that seems to be here that we don't know quite what the beginnings of is or what the actual lesson is. And I think that it's going to be a little bad before we figure that out.
Yeah. So right now, it's just innocuous activity that has not hurt anything in airspace.
That's mostly what they're kind of saying. They're waiting for it to fuck up a plane for they'll do anything about it.
That's like one of the big excuses. But if I was flying a plane over there, they would shoot me down.
Dude, you hear about the story? One of the stories I got sent this week was about a sovereign citizen that crashed his own plane but almost murdered a commercial flight because he took off in a plane without telling anybody. Yeah, you gotta tell people if you're gonna take off in a plane.
There are rules. Some rules are there for a reason.
And there's not a lot of them. Not social rules.
Like, not a lot of these rules, but when it comes to the flight in the sky with other machines, that's not about liberty. We need to know.
We gotta know, buddy. It's not impinging, man.
You know, like, we believe of all of the stuff. let's talk about that, buddy.
In the sky, you're not traveling. If you're flying that real, you must have a license.
Yes. That's why there's no flying cars.
But look at that. So that guy, exactly.
Except we're about to get flying drones for the 2028 LA Olympics. Well, I mean, those are- You're supposed to get taxi drones.
Taxi drones? Yeah. That's a really bad idea.
Eddie! But drivers in LA are so great on the ground. Yeah.
They're definitely going to do great in a 4D space. I feel like every other month, someone I kind of know gets hit by a car in LA.
It's just fucking crazy. There's no way.
I love Gvork. He's my favorite Uber driver, and I can't wait to see him in a B-52.

We're going to have so much fun.

Yeah, you can smoke.

Tell them you can smoke.

The best part about these Uber drivers flying the taxis is that they can smoke.

Yeah.

Because you can open the window.

Oh, yes. Oh, I mean, if you could smoke, I'm for the flying, the drone taxis.

That's all Uber drivers want to do is be able to smoke in the car.

Imagine getting stoned and shit up there. That'd be fucking wonderful.
No, dude, I'm talking cigarettes, man. Oh, you want to go backwards.
I was just saying. I feel like whatever relaxes them.
You want to go forward so we can go backwards. Let Gvork smoke his Bulgarian cigarettes.
No, he has to smoke American cigarettes. You're right.
If he's going to smoke cigarettes, he's to smoke our cigarettes.

Thank you, Eddie.

Yes, that's right.

Give back.

Well, today was filled with a lot of emotions, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Too many emotions for side stories?

I got one thing I just want us to keep our eye on, and I don't know much about it.

It just happened real quick before we go.

Yeah, this story is fucking insane, and I don't get it.

It's very serious.

And I feel like no one's talking about it. I think I want to talk about it more next week, but here's a little teaser.
Apparently, yesterday or two days ago from when you hear this, there was a giant gang massacre in Haiti. If you don't know, Haiti is completely run by gangs now.
Oh, it's not doing great? The government doesn't matter anymore. Yeah.
There is a government technically, and they say they are going to go after the gangs because of what happened. But in short, one of the gang's leaders, their son got really sick, and someone told them that it was a voodoo curse and that the elderly were, are the people who practiced the voodoo.
And so he went to a slum and killed 180 residents over 60 years old. You know what that's called? And he dragged them all in the street and shot them and stabbed them and killed them.
I'm not happy with this guy. I'm not happy with him.
I don't think it was the right choice, but he got stuff done. Well, the prime minister's office.
And he probably did more for that. I mean, think about how hard it is to pass a law in America.
Yeah. How hard it would be for Joe Biden to murder 60 voodoo preachers in a town.
Like, you need a warrant and stuff, which takes like 12 hours. The gang rounded up scores of residents over 60 from their homes in the Wharf-Germain area and shot or stabbed them to death with knives and machetes.
Witnesses reported that mutilated bodies were burned in the streets. The death toll could rise.
The UN Human Rights Chief Volkner Turk, which is, I mean, a scary name. It's cool.
In a way, though, it's kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put it at 184 people, estimate, the number of people killed in gang violence. This year in Haiti is over 5,000.
Jeez, Lou. So, like, Haiti is- It is a small country.
It is a very small country. The gangs have completely taken over, and they had a mass execution of the elderly this week.

And they're saying that the gangs control everything and are taking everyone's cell phones away

so the residents aren't able to spread information about this attack.

So we really don't know anything yet.

We will get deeper into the story.

It is a fucking insane story. It is a fucking

insane story. It is just

that is intense. Yeah.

Because I'm surprised

because I guess like I'd actually want to

know more about that side story. It's lpotl

at gmail.com. Anyone knows anything please.

And the state of voodoo in Haiti

is also must be that

that is interesting because I thought it was

really a popular

like folk

thing. Like I did not know.
It's obviously not real. Well, unless you believe it.
Unless you're getting murdered by a Haitian gang leader over it, then it's pretty fucking real. Yeah.
Also, I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anywhere that the child actually died. The child's just sick.
Well, that's the thing. I mean, for me, that's crazy.
When I'm when I have a cold, I might as well. Oh, the kid died.
Oh, OK. Good.
No, no, no. Not a child.
That's not good. I'm not saying it's good.
Also, in just as important news, apparently, according to our favorite Gypsy Rose, with her former husband, the D is in fact not fire. Even though she said in a sworn statement that her ex-husband's D was fire.
Man, I'm on a high right now. I'm living my best life and y'all can't take that from me.
And the D is? Ryan!

Yes.

So, unfortunately, no.

And I actually don't know why she would say that, because I'm looking at Ryan Scott Anderson now.

And yes, he does look like Winnie the Pooh.

But you don't think that Winnie the Pooh knows how to fuck?

It looks like if you cracked him open, Brian Thompson would come out.

You see, we always come back to fuck. It looks like if you cracked him open, Brian Thompson would come out.
You see, we always come back to humor. We'll always come back to humor.
Oh, wow. What a day.
So next week, don't worry. We're almost at Christmas.
I feel like that's also part of the reason why I'm feeling like extra edgy. But I'm happier this year than I've been in years I'm two weeks away I'm fucking stressed it's a fucking hard holiday season I think that we gotta be I know people talk about this but we gotta be good to each other during this time period you gotta live every day knowing for a fact that yeah sometimes grandma she's a fucking bitch but hey you know it's Christmas time everybody just shut up about it for a little bit you can laugh about it with your grandmother, you know what I mean she's got some fucking bad things to say, she's got some bad thoughts in her brain, but you know, fucking put Sebastian Maniscalco on and smoke weed, dude go for that walk, man help.
Take the dog for a walk. Go get stoned.
Some people get paranoid, Eddie, but for those of you, but if you get paranoid and you're not into it, I totally get it. It's entertainment for everyone else.
Fucking make yourself cum in your asshole. Yeah.
Like, honestly, I want to say this. When's the last time you shot one in the air, then threw down your pants and caught it with your hole? It's hard.

You come.

You shoot.

You jerk and jerk and jerk and jerk and jerk.

We were just in New York.

And you come in the air real far, and then you take it off your pants, and you lay down on your belly, and you try to catch it with your asshole?

Yeah, it's called the Bellagio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I was just in New York.

Yeah.

So, yes.

Okay.

Very recently.

But if you ask my wife, she would say, yes, the D is fire.

Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, no, it's good.
So, yes. Okay.
Very recently. But if you ask my wife, she would say, yes, the D is fire.
Yeah. Because, oh, man, oh, man, when I catch that cum in my asshole, she's the happiest she's ever going to be that week.
She cumces in your ass? No, when I do it for her. Oh, yes, yes.
When I do the Bellagio in front of her. When you Bellagio, yeah, when you Bellagio, it's a great trick.
That's how I got her. Yeah.
You know? It's like, it's just because I'm fucking sexy. That's not just why she's with me.
I'm funny. I'm entertaining.
I said some stuff today, right? I don't even remember what I said today. I feel like I blacked out in rage.
Well, that's the thing. I promise we're going to get back to the jokes next week.
I feel like we were still vaguely funny. Yeah, I know.
Big stories. It's big stories and we got to talk about them.
It's hard because the information is very important but you shouldn't be getting info from us. Whatever you heard today, let this spark your interest and go out and learn a lot more from credible news sources.
That's my only thing though. The Guardian.
I trust The Guardian. I trust The Guardian.
I read The Guardian. Yeah.
Yeah. I read The Guardian.
Al Jazeera, honestly, is pretty good from the outside. You know who I trust? I hate them.
But you know who I trust? Who? TMZ. TMZ knows what's happening the fastest.
They have connected. We've talked about this.
I do hate them. Oh, yeah.
I don't think I don't. But they break stories

faster than anybody else. Oh, my

God. If you hear a rumor that someone's

dead, it's like, oh, Prince is dead.

It's on TMZ. He's there first.

But we'll do some listener emails tomorrow. Next week, we're going to

get really silly right before the holiday.

I do believe we're going to do a little

something extra for the holiday. I think

it'll be fun. Yes.
Go see us. Go watch the stream.
The stream, I promise you, it's going to be a laugh a minute. What? The last stream on the left? The last stream on the left.
Go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. Also, check this out.
I'm wearing my, for today, I'm wearing my last podcast on the left alien shirt. That's awesome.
Yeah, go pick yours up. There's lots of good merch available.
Get your orders in soon if you want them for Christmas. We're getting flooded right now.
So if you want your shit for the holidays, make sure you put your order in today. Show people that you are cool with the podcast community.
Also, I got to say, might be a merch drop on eddytunes.com this week. Might be.
I saw some of those.

I tried to put in some feedback.

We took your note. Wow.
We took your note.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

And yeah, if you want, you go check out

Luigi Mangione's, I think his

manifesto will be on the internet for a little while longer.

And if you want,

I'm trying to think what else you should check out. You should probably

give

your fucking mother a call or something. I think if you have one, you should probably give her a call and you should probably, this might be a good time for us all to have a very peaceful Christmas season.
Yeah, man, I saw that fucking Emilia Perez movie. What was that? What is that? Everyone's loving it.
It was garbage. Zoe Saldana.
Yeah, Zoe Saldana musical. Netflix.
Netflix. It is.
You were all saying things. I don't know who Zoe Saldana is.
You know who Zoe Saldana is. Who she is.
She's the hot. Who she is.
She's Colombiana. Which one? Remember the movie Colombiana? Nope.
She was the hot fucking assassin? Nope. She's the most popular actress in the world.
Avatar. Yes!

Yeah, I know that blue woman.

She's been the most popular.

Oh yeah, Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, she's very good.

Yes! She's very beautiful. Yes!

Movie's not good though that she's in though.

It is bad. It is bad.

I love Sully South Island. That's why

I went on. You know, I literally,

I was at the IFC Center in New York, and I

literally walked out like 40 minutes in. I was like, listen, this movie fucking sucks.
Can I go see Carrie? Because Carrie was playing. And then he's like, alright.
Yeah, you're the fifth guy here. He literally was like, you can tell people were bitching about this movie.
He was just like, yeah, we do know. Are we doing ads for Gladiator 2? I don't think so.
Because I fucking walked out of that movie. That movie sucked.
We both walked out of a movie this weekend in New York. But you know what? I didn't walk out of one.
Denzel Washington's great, though. Yeah.
Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, I didn't see it.
But I'm not going to do that. Go see Enora.
Enora was wonderful. Everyone's saying Enora's supposed to be great.
It's unbelievable. Sean Baker movies are always great, but Enora was perfect.
Go see Enora. If you see anything, it's a holiday season.
I also got my Christmas Day Nosferatu tickets. Oh yeah, I'm going on the 27th.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait, man.
Everybody's talking fucking hot-ass shit about this movie, dog. It looks fucking awesome.
I can't wait to see this movie. He's looking good.
You see Stellan Skarsgård kiss his son in the mouth? He was so happy. Oh, he pulled a Brady.
Tom Brady. The other goat.
Tom Brady loves kissing his family in the mouth. He really does.
It's weird, right? That's why he, you know, he unretired. You know, what's he going to do? Stay home and play spin the bottle with his kids all day? Gotcha, you fuck.
Fuck you, Tom Brady. You big-headed motherfucker.
Please don't, Hilt. Please don't send the Star Whackers after me.
Wow what a great episode. Hail Satan everyone.
Oh yeah go to all the other stuff. LastPodcast.com buy live tickets.
We're going to be doing a lot of different shows. Our live show is better than ever.
Go check it out. Yeah.
And Twitch. Dot TV slash LPN TV.

And Good Podcast is new. The new episode's all about Japan.

Ooh. Oh my god.
Did you see?

We got the numbers back. Brighter Side went up

over 100%. You're doing very well.

Go listen to Brighter Side.

We're fucking crushing it right now. You're doing very well.

Come on with it, folks. I love you guys.

We'll see you next week. Hail

my mom. Hail my dad.
Yeah. I love you guys.
We'll see you next week. Hail my mom.

Hail my dad.

Yeah.

You know.

I'm sorry that America killed them.

Yes.

But I'm going to confess here, unfortunately, Eddie, it was me.

Oh, shoot!

But hey, you're funnier as an orphan.

I am the biggest orphan in the world.

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