Side Stories: Attack of the Drones

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Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.
Yes. First of all, what a lovely day to be in New York City.
Our childhood homes. Comedy childhood.
Comedy childhood. You're from here.
I'm from here. I'm from here.
Not to brag, but I never get to do this. We never get to do this as a show.
What's that? Bring in somebody new, a new permanent third co-host to Side Stories. Big news.
Big news. Big news.
I can't believe it.

Obviously, it took a lot to really work it out, but I'd like to introduce

you, one of our

favorite comedians who's going to be

joining Side Stories permanently.

Big news. Big news.

Fucking rock and roll. Hunter,

come in here. Yes.
Hunter Biden,

everybody. Come on in, brother.

Come on in. Fooled you.
Fooled you. You fucking idiots.
Free at last. Free at last.
I love you, Hunter. He went to the mountaintop, folks.
Dude, I love a guy that got to smoke, crack, smile along the way, and make it out alive.

Who do you think has had more sex in the White House? Hunter Biden or JFK?

Ooh, man. Bill Clinton?

Come on.

In terms of gay sex, it might be

Abraham Lincoln. Free

Chelsea Clinton.

Where is she at? Yeah.

Let's investigate Chelsea Clinton. Can we investigate

Chelsea Clinton? Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zebrowski.
I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Yes.
And we are going to be actively investigating Chelsea Clinton and whether or not she has nipple rings. That's right.
I want to see him. We were here.
We're here in New York City. We're seeing.
Big show on Saturday with the last podcast on the left at King's Theater. Come check us out.

It's going to be fucking great.

And we're in Philly on Friday, but it won't even matter for you because those tickets are sold out.

Sold out, baby.

That's right, man.

And I will be making an appearance as everybody's favorite not president.

Whoa.

Who's that going to be?

I'm guessing Jeffrey Epstein. Yep.
My favorite guy. my favorite guy you know you guys i love him your favorite politician i love that guy he was honestly one of the most powerful uh comp one of the most powerful politicians of all time if you can call him that also don't forget we're gonna be at the masonic lodge on december 21st with classy night out it's gonna be a blast there's still a couple tickets left for that that's in los Angeles at the Masonic Lodge on December 21st with Classy Night Out.
It's going to be a blast. There's still a couple tickets left for that.
That's in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Please join us for that.
Alright, now this is a lot of news is coming out. Obviously, we celebrated Hunter Biden's freedom.
God damn. I just love, again, I love his smile.
I love that it's another person related to a president that I could draw his cock by memory. And I really appreciate that about him.
We love his energy here. That's right.
We love what he brings to the table. We think he's a fun guy, and he's going to get out there.
And I'm hoping next, what's Hunter Biden's next steps, Eddie? Hunter Biden, I'm thinking either WWE or you porn. Wow.
Yep. I could see him fucking...
Imagine if fucking Kim Kardashian. Can we make this happen? Can Hunter Biden start dating Kim Kardashian? New sex tape? See, I feel like even Kim Kardashian's old.
I think we need somebody new. I think that he needs to go steal Bianca Sensori.
Who's that? From Ye. Oh, my God.
New nipples out lady. Dude, I mean, honestly.
I feel scared for her. She makes me feel kind of uncomfortable.
Man, do you think Hunter Biden's strapped right now? Like a gun? A dildo. It's a huge penis.
He doesn't need one. He really doesn't need one.
imagine if he had one like on his back though strap on on his back come on now come on hop on the small on my back hop on the small on my damn back I want you to come on the small on my damn back ah yes free Hunter Biden I love that he's out there, and I love that he's going to fuck your wife. He's going to fuck your wife.
He's going to ruin a dinner reservation, and I love that for him. He gets to be out there.
You know what? Also, fight Mike Tyson. Oh, my God.
Hunter Biden should fight Mike Tyson, and then the winner of that fights Donnie Trump Jr. Wow.

I think that's the way to do this. Come on.
Let's just turn it all into a big, giant, soul-sucking,

empty entertainment venture.

Oh my God. We should know who he should

fuck is Guilfoyle.

Oh yeah. That'd be

a really great move for him.

She's very skinny. Very skinny.

Maybe too skinny for him. She creeps me out.

Yeah. Oh, that's her whole thing.
She creeps me out. She's very frightening.
Speaking of frightening. Okay.
Big news. So not just...
This is the second big news. Are we going to skip updates? Well, the updates I have...
I mean, this is pretty important. Orcas are wearing salmon hats again.
Well, the orca... Yes, that is true.
That's a huge update. I feel like we're the ones who like, I feel like the Orcas have been listening to our show.
They've only been going up in popularity since we've been talking about them. We brought up the salmon hats months ago.
We did. And now, guess what? Wearing them again.
Wearing them again. Back in style, dude.
I mean, it's like when you walk around New York City and everybody's dressed like it's Kramer versus Kramer. Everybody is dressed like it's an episode.
They're all like NPCs from the background of Seinfeld. But yes, it is true.
Orcas are wearing salmons again on their heads after a 37-year gap. I found it interesting.
In 1987, I was reading a cool article about this. Apparently, they don't really know the source of why.
They know that they have communities. It's fad.
It's a style. But they said that it might, there actually might be a real reason, too, is that they were, at a time period in 1987, when it happened, was a time when this group, this pod, the K-pod or whatever, was in this harbor and there was an overabundance of salmon.
So part of them thinks that maybe some of the behavior is literally salmon storage on the edge of their heads and that they think that... They'll get to it later? Yes, and that they also think now the reason why that's actually coming back is kind of interesting is that now it's the J-pod, I think is what they're called, that are now doing it.
And they're saying that they think that some of those guys used to be members of a K-Pod. Oh.
So it's like they're bringing back old. It's like they're doing their retcon.
That's fucking cool. They're bringing it back.
They're nostalgic. It's nostalgic again.
The member berries. That's amazing.
That's all it is. I love my orcas.
Congrats on the salmon. Salmon, probably easy to catch.
By the time they get

to the ocean, they're slower

because they've been working so hard. Their skin's

off. So I think that

easy to catch. Wear them as a hat.

He's just making judgment calls about salmon

and I'm not going to do that to you. I love that.
We both had

salmon for lunch. We did.
And he got a

bigger piece. That's right.
I watched

him get a bigger piece. I should have

gotten the bigger piece. Why? Because I'm bigger than you and I need more food.
But I'm just as dense. Yes, you're just as dense, but I need more salmon than you do.
I could have went for a word, to be honest with you. Yeah, of course.
I eat a pound and a half at home in one plank. It's not good.
But yes, this is one update. The other update other update there is another update which you're not

going to be happy with what's this one our favorite lady the sexiest person in the influencer world chris chan oh might be a mommy we are looking at it right now chris chan has made a bit of what they're calling a coquettish statement about maybe being a mommy, saying that they are now, they've been seen regularly at the same con I was with last time, with a really good friend of mine, Ked Cadet, who runs these cons. Like, this is the same time when Chris Chan just showed up at that place I was at in Raleigh last January.
You remember that? No. Do you remember when I was saying that he met all of them? I just learned about Chris Chan on the show a couple months ago, that their existence.
I think we talked a little bit about this, about how Chris Chan was at this Comic-Con, this Animate-Con in Raleigh that I went to. Did you put a baby in them? She was there.
No, they can't hold the baby yet. She's got a girlfriend that goes by the name of Flutter.
At the time, remember I told her, oh yeah, it's gross. It's not good.
My favorite Robin Williams film. Christian, again, and I can't wait to tell Dave Willis this because at the time, I was trying to explain to the crew from Aquatine you

might not want to be hanging with Christian this person that's going to come and they were like who and then I described Christian to them they're like oh we met them today and they are very strange and I was like big fans of Aquatine and then they brought Christian then brought her new girlfriend Flutter, to the anime Raleigh con today. Like, literally, it was like two days ago.
I saw the same pictures. Guess who was in the background of all of them? You? Dave Willis.
Oh! He was in the background of every one of those pictures of Christian in Flutter. And he is gonna love that.
Now, Christian. Another Flutter.
That is actually, I would call, she is definitely another flutter. Christine Chandler, also known as Chris Chan, was seen out and about with their new girlfriend.
Now, we don't know whether or not Flutter's a girlfriend. I thought they were in jail.
No. So the story was that Chris Chan was accused of doing full-on, full-court press incestuels upon their mother.
She apparently did a sexual assault to her mother. The charges were dropped by her dementia-ridden mother.
Okay. So now those charges were dropped.
Now, that was kind of put together. I forget the name of the troll.
It was Isabella Jenke, who was this horrible, horrible person that, it seems, put Chris Chan up to either do it for real or just talk about it and put it in writing, which got them arrested. Then they were released because the charges were dropped.
Now they are out. They are obviously, they are strange, obviously, but they are, looks to be, happily in love.

If you look at this, they are being, again, very, very coy about it.

But you see a picture of, it's Chris Chan with a young, very, very young lady by the name of Flutter.

Tiny.

According to internet rumors, comes from big money.

Does it need Chris Chan's influence, which makes it pure? Is Chris Chan a get? Are they like a hot commodity? Look at her. It's a fucking nightmare human.
No. Annie.
Oh, my God. Absolutely not.
But we're just talking about this a little bit. We're going to move on right now.
I'm just saying that it turns out uh but according to christian they made a statement uh about them possibly being pregnant and that statement is rather vague according to christian when the child when the child is actually coming into play for summer somewhere around that point or i might i just might keep y'all in the dark and that y'all know until and wait till after the child is born. That's word for word the statement.
So Christian, congratulations. I hope she is a feminine child.
I hope she's an abortion. We'll see.
I don't know if we're going to get there. I don't know if we're going to get all the way there christian first has to run for house of representatives which i will be proudly voting for the first trans member of the house of representatives oh yeah by voting for christian is that true as well at this point no there's someone in there now who's in there i don't know their name unfortunately you fucking piece of fucking shit how fucking dare you sarah mcbride this year yes it works congrats sarah mcbride i won't take that i won't take that from you you know you you can't take it from them i can do a lot of stuff oh yeah they're already they're telling them they're telling them they can't use the bathroom already and i i just am so i i just got we got to move past because i can't this isn't that show talk about that it makes me that everybody's really stupid and it's a fucking massive waste of time and they should just uh just the idea of telling someone where they can go to the bathroom makes me want to fucking flip out it's weird to have a news show when i refuse to read the news these days well it's like we read the real news eddie that's right and such as this extremely extremely real shit that's going on we just did a little bit of a breakdown of this on dan soder's podcast but we we got to save it for here i am in new york city during what has been called what they're trying to say might be a alien invasion.
This came from a person by the name of Cliff High. Cliff High predicted this.
Now, they did a computer scientist known for his past predictions using a tool they called predictive linguistics. High, who previously predicted the 2004 Indonesian tsunami.
Okay. But that was one.
All right. To they also say- Like to the day or that that was just going to happen? To the day.
And they also said that they called 9-11. But you can't say you called 9-11 after 9-11.
They said after that they had called it before. Plane hits the building.
I called it. I was like, no, you didn't tell anybody.
If you didn't tell anyone, then you're a criminal. Then you're implicated.
You're correct. have you seen any of the stuff with lebron james pretending to have like red or like no things no that like lebron james i mean i do that all the time he has an issue where he has been caught red-handed not knowing what he's talking about he always says oh yeah i read that oh yeah i'm working on that right i'm always doing he doesn't know anything he was a pro basketball player player at 18.
How would he know anything? I like that he's into candles and he is trying to read more. Yeah.
And I love LeBron James. I love him.
I think in terms of a man to look up to as a business leader and a father and a competitor. I'm wearing my LeBron James Miami's right now.
He's good to look up to. Right from your grave.
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Now, according to this guy, so

Cliff High talks

about, I guess, these, what

they say is some form

of predictive

analyst. So this, High's

predictive system works by analyzing

internet data and identifying patterns

and language that can indicate major

upcoming events, including political

changes and natural disasters. His latest

claim about an alien invasion has captured

significant attention because what

Thank you. and language that can indicate major upcoming events, including political changes and natural disasters.
His latest claim about an alien invasion has captured significant attention because what he basically said is that when Trump floated, that he might be on Rogan. Of course he was going to be on Rogan.
There was a couple days where we didn't know whether or not because they were trying to get Kamala and him and then Rogan came out and just became a Trumper and all that shit went down in like four days of course he became a Trumper he came to his studio and did an interview he always was but it's like now we know that Rogan is but he always was and then having Trump be there is how we then know that he is for certain that he is and then it's why he's complicit and why he's to come be and eventually be sort of to blame for everything that's to come. But this guy, Donald Trump,

it's like, so they said that,

according to Cliff High, putting into those machines,

that if Trump does agree to go on Rogan,

and I don't know why,

I think it's because this is considered to be a high benchmark for audience, like 20 million people about listening to Rogan, I would say,

which is, it's close to rivaling Howard Stern at his peak,

I'm putting it on. for audience, like 20 million people about listening to Rogan, I would say, which is close to rivaling Howard Stern at his peak, which is probably one of the most listened to shows in modern history.
It's crazier with Rogan, though, because with Stern, he was the only thing people could listen to. Well, also, he did it in the OG way where they had a spread from terrestrial radio station to terrestrial radio station.
It's different, but it's just more just maybe that's why he said that when that was triggered, it would trigger a 39-day sequence that would end in an alien invasion. That would be the way we'd see it is a fight between U.S.
military and these unknown like crafts or whatever this shit is. But that didn't happen.
Did it? So in the UK, for the last two weeks, outside of the Lake and Heath, this is another, this is an Air Force base, the Royal Air Force base. They have been getting these drone incursions that they have, they've been calling them drones.
This is now all over the place. It happened all over this weekend in New Jersey, Arizona.
You need to look at this shit. Didn't they say, wasn't there a one over Brooklyn? I didn't see one.
I did not see the one over Brooklyn, but I saw, I just was watching live footage of New Jersey drones. Okay.
This literally happened. He said that, so the 39 day, like meter ran out December 3rd.
On December 3rd, mysterious drones, this comes from USA Today, mysterious drones have been reported flying over parts of New Jersey in recent weeks leading to an investigation involving multiple police agencies, even the FBI. So this is, it's legit.
How big are the drones? They say that they're about the size of sedans.

Oh, that's huge.

And they are weirdly shaped.

They look like stingrays.

They have an odd assortment of lights, different colored lights, and they keep showing up in front of the airport.

Now, this is images and footage of the drones.

They've been circulating online.

We saw these.

This was in Morris County.

They were, they've emerged from multiple counties, Morris County, Somerset, Warren, and Sussex counties. They have no idea what they are.
They were first spotted on November 18th. This is just the New Jersey drones.
The UK drones have also been seen for the last two weeks. And now the UK stuff is getting so hot and bothered that they're starting to shut down civilians filming the drones.
You have to look at the footage. The key is to really see what this shit looks like.
And the stuff over, not just Arizona, the Arizona stuff is also wild. Look at this video.
This happened three days ago. Okay.
Look at this massive object. Yeah, that's clear.

This is, and you're going to see. There's three objects.

Dude, it's not going to even be one. Watch this.
So it looks like it's three separate

objects. You see this big, massive

kind of squiggly light. Yeah.

By a little red light and this other light

on top of it. What you're going to now see

is these other

lights. I'm going to skip ahead a little bit so you can see.

You can see the guy now.

See how this other light has popped up okay this light were any of those helicopters investigating no and then you're going to watch it slowly but surely it's one object buddy oh you think that's one object yeah and it's in in Arizona. It is one.
You see how it forms a darkened triangle? Cool. It is one giant object.
It is very, very similar to the Phoenix Lights. I have a theory whenever we see stuff like this, like I said, I'm still dipping my toe into aliens and UFOlogy and all that stuff.
So I feel like I almost have a clearer view of it because I don't know too much information. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly. You're just not as bogged down as I am.
I think that whenever you see stuff like this, it's actually like a malfunction on their part. You know, they actually talk about this.
They do talk about this within circles, about the idea of, let's say, this is highly protracted there's no reality to this but it's a thought process let's say they are actually biological creatures let's say one of the things we talked about this today in Soder's episode but I do get what I hold is that everything is real in terms of if one thing is real, everything is real.

So I think that not only do they live in the ocean, they also come from other planets. They're also interdimensional.

They're also us from the future.

And they're also like they are.

Yeah, there's multiple different races from different places.

Yeah.

But let's say they're biological ones.

That's real.

Who?

Let's say we think like people.

And they want. The goal is for it to be a recon mission right that's why that's maybe that's ostensibly why they're doing these things they're gonna go they're looking out into the various folds of the universe to find resources you know there's always that kind of story that they use at independence day famously uses it with the, they've run out of so they run here to get ours yeah but who would you send across the universe to go look for shit a drone i think that's one unmanned yeah or an idiot you would send that well we first thing we sent a dog.
A dog, yeah. You'd send somebody you could afford to lose out there.
This is an A-team. Oh, you think so? I think that if you get here, you were sent here to get away from your family.
I mean, Columbus was B-team. He was B-team.
He was B-team. Italy's like, go fuck.
Yes. We're going with America.
Vespucci. He's B-team.
He was B-team. Yep.
So it's like, maybe these guys are B-team. If that's one of the angles.
But look at this. This was also seen two days over Jersey.
Again. It looks like a big, yeah, it looks like a big thing.
It's a big, it is one big object. Now, we talked a little bit last week about the UAP congressional hearing.
We're going to go into more detail in the next couple of weeks about what a congressional hearing is, all that type of shit, but they talked about how some of this stuff is obviously retrofitted human technology, but this fucking ain't. I mean, it's just lights, though.
I know, but it's what the lights are. They don't know what the living fuck they are.
They are thick, dude. So they were only up for one night, and they were gone the next day? They've been saying that they've been coming for repeat performances.
People are going out. For the UK, they've put out a live stream.
I found it on Reddit. They keep shutting them down there are live streams of lake and heath that you can go watch and they've been calling them they've been saying here they come they're coming now and then you watch these little points of light and they're not they keep saying that they're researching this stuff and the only answer that they can come back with is like it's they seem to not be dangerous so they're there.
But the ones in Jersey, man, some of these ones in Jersey are, they are physically, like, they are there. They look like actual, like, I don't know how to describe it.
They look like little planes. They look like, there's a reason why they're calling them drones.
Look at, this is the Brooklyn NYC, November 12th footage that i saw the other day i don't know i don't know what's real and what's not real at all like looks like it's easily made so you know obviously i don't know for sure but yeah there is a but there brooklyn there's some weird object over brooklyn i don't know where there it is there it is yeah a metal sphere yeah yeah man I don't know what that is you know they're coming who cares though right I don't think that how do you put it it's not that I don't hear there's one UOP flying over Mexico last night look at this fucking thing what's that that's creepy as fuck yeah but the it's like, well, it's just ramping up like a mother. But do you think it's ramping up because we are getting better with drones and people just think that our personal drones are fucking UAPs? This is a question that we have to figure out.
This is a question we have to figure out. there's just more and more drones everywhere And all of a sudden now there's more Now there's more UAPs It's just that they look like they're They don't look like anything that anybody has That's what's fucked up Is that they don't look like anything Eddie They don't look like other planes We don't know where they're coming from They're saying that we can't find their origin of flight They don't look like anything, Eddie.
They don't look like other planes. We don't know where they're coming from.

They're saying that we can't find their origin of flight.

They don't know what direction they're coming from.

They're just popping up in the sky.

They're not, like, that's what's fucked.

That's why there's also a part of me

that wonders if it's a fully natural phenomena.

If the stuff that comes out of the ocean

is like literally another type of animal

or something

that we just don't physically understand.

We just don't understand.

Like the abyss?

Maybe.

I have dreams about the abyss all the time.

I love the abyss.

I always have dreams.

That is a common occurrence for me for dreams that I fall into a big ocean and I can breathe

the water.

That's fun.

Maybe it's because I'm fish.

You may be part fish.

Who knows? Definitely a little bit of a walrus. Whatever, dude.
Oh, God. Man, I don't know.
I mean, but they're doing nothing. What are they doing? Just observing? They don't know what to do.
Hanging out? Dude, they literally don't know what the fuck to do. Look at this.
This is what they're talking about. This is over Jersey.
See this weird ass configuration. It looks like a natural formation.
Like it doesn't look. And it is moving.
It is moving and it's swirling and the fucking like you see that's solid as fuck. Yeah.
Like what is this shit? Like legitimately it's just I don't know, man. Because it is ramped up noticeably in the last month.
So what are, do you have any theories? You keep saying, I don't know, but like. Well, it's, if it could possibly be.
I mean, all of our audience is going to be like, you know how much of our audience they all hate? Half of them hate that shit. So it's like talk to them.
I mean, I hate it too, but I'm doing my best to learn and be a part of it.

Look at the news and tell me it's not going crazy.

You know what I mean?

That's the difference.

It's like the legit, when the legit news stands there, like not even the funny, silly news.

You have two anchors, like you're watching in New Jersey.

And that New Jersey, these two anchors are openly arguing about what it is. They're talking to the police and they're talking to the FBI.
The police are asking people in New Jersey to tell them what it is. They don't know what the...
That's what's hard. You'd expect it because obviously a lot of it does end up getting debunked, which is good.
But they try to do it kind of quickly and it seems to be coming faster than they can debunk it. And it's, I, what if we made a big mistake on November 5th? Oh, it doesn't have anything to do with that shit.
I don't think so. Yeah, I honestly do think it's...
There's a lot of people that want to attach it to it, and I don't want to attach it to it, because I don't think that anybody's any... I don't think in the end, like, if they didn't come for Hitler...
If they exist... If they literally didn't come for Hitler, like, you're not coming for our president.
They don't understand the news. They don't understand English.
Then why is it happening now? To you, why would it be happening now? To me, why would it be happening now? I think that it's always happened. Do we have more cameras than ever? I think we have more drones than ever.
I think there's more technology than ever, so I think there's a lot more things being mistaken as UFOs. But we had that five years ago.
We had the same stuff five years ago. Pretty much.
Don't you think it goes in fads? It does. Famously it goes in fads.
They call them flaps. UFOs are, you know, like they do.
They co-win waves. It is very, very, all the time.
If there's like three shark attacks next week, we're going to forget about this shit. Dude, this is, these again, these are these, it's, this is why it's weird, man.
It's because of the way they blink. Yeah.
And they are in a situation like the Phoenix Lights. They're in a line.
Yeah. It's really weird.
And that's why they keep, and, but, and I guess the, my main issue truly is the, is the fact that they're calling them drones yeah you know what i mean is that if they weren't calling them drones look at this one well it's the ultimate the one i saw look at this one i mean but you know this one looks like a plane this one literally looks like a plane but it's not one yeah no it's, it's mimicking a plane. That's fucking frightening, right?

That's frightening. That's weird as fuck.

And this is on the actual news. This is on the news.

This isn't one of my silly little

websites. This is on the

fucking NBC news.

So whatever it is, even though

I'm like, let's just say I'm not going to put them

above. I'm not going to put the media

above being full

of absolute shit. Yes, But this is pretty interesting.
I don't know. Everyone's going to be yelling.
Everybody debunks. Everybody's so smart, Eddie.
I know. Reddit's so smart.
All the people out there are so smart. They know so much better.
So I know you're all cursing at me and calling me an idiot. But I do think that maybe there might be something there, but go on, just live in your life.
It does technically change nothing, so it doesn't really matter. What would it take for people as a whole to believe? Other than like Trump shaking hands with a fucking alien.
They don't think, I wouldn't believe, I'd believe it less if Trump did it. I think that we are past that point.
I don't think that we'd ever believe it i think that it would have to literally take a mass in actual invasion for people to think it's actually real and i think that if it happens in a subtle way people will acclimate it to it so fast that it also won't matter yeah do you look for do you look in the sky all the time all the time trying to find something every time when'm in a plane, when I'm out anywhere in the country. And you found nothing.
I've never seen anything. You've never seen anything.
No. I had a dream we saw something recently.
What did we see? We saw a little light in the sky that zipped. It could fucking happen this weekend.
It's all over the place. But I don't know why.
Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Why do you think, if it's real, let's just cut all the people who think it's real.
Just don't pay attention to that. For those of you that don't, that think it's real, why now? Why would there be an uptick? We'll find out.
We will fucking find out. I put it to the audience new db cooper alert uh this guy's not

anything i don't i barely want to cover this story it's just in the news so i just figure that we should just at least talk about how like the family of a guy by the name of richard mccoy was the uh they this family is fucking um certain that this man was db cooper because he also got arrested for a skyjacking

I guess just months after

the DB Cooper thing and they found

a certain that this man was db cooper because he also got arrested for a skyjacking i guess just months after the db cooper thing and they found so that would assume that db cooper lived then yes and that they found his they say that they have his parachute that was retrofitted specifically and it could not be anybody else's parachute according to this family and they had to wait for their mom to die to talk about it because they're more than certain she's involved. Oh, because she had the money.
Yeah. But D.B.
Cooper jumped out of 32,000 feet? No, it was like lower than that. I think that's the reason why it was so dangerous is because it was, I don't remember.
I don't remember all of the details. Wouldn he just freeze it's cold i think that he died yes i personally think that he died but these but they never found anything they never found the cash they never were they over the ocean no they were in a mountain if he's he splatted into a side of a mountain and a bunch of birds took that money and made fucking like nests with it as far as I'm concerned but they keep pushing it because there was a book D.B.
Cooper the real McCoy that does talk about this being the actual D.B. Cooper that McCoy was the real D.B.
Cooper but the family sued them this family yes sued the author of that book, and they got it shut down. Okay.
So, I mean... So they even said themselves it's not true.
They do. I just...
Well, because... I think it's because the mother...
That's the only thing that makes me interested. It's because the mother has something to hide.
They should have to give the money back to the guy they sued if they're going to come out and say that it is their father now. I'll tell you that much.
I don't think, I think that's why they're trying to do this is they're trying to get money because I think that money's gone. Yeah.
I don't think they got any of that D.B. Cooper money because it was like 75 grand 100 years ago.
Yeah, that's not too much. No, I don't know.
I don't remember what it was, but it's not enough. And also D.B.
Cooper, I just, I, people love the story of D.B. Cooper.
I think that people like it because he got away with free ass money and people like when somebody gets away with free ass money well and also just jumping out of a commercial airliner there's something that was like people love and are fascinated by db cooper yeah i mean i like a good bank robbery you know i like i wish wish that there was still a chance for criminals to commit crimes. There's too many cameras.
You know, the playing field isn't level anymore. Because as far as I'm concerned, rob as many banks as you want.
Oh, yeah. Rob stores.
As long as you don't hurt nobody. Yeah, of course.
Just don't hurt people. Like, banks are insured.
Stores are insured. Major banks.
No credit unions.

Even them.

No, no, no.

I respect the credit union.

You respect your credit union?

I don't.

Yeah.

Oh, you want to get into the fucking bank business and you want to be innocent about it?

That don't work, buddy.

All right?

Your fucking hands are covered in blood, too, credit unions.

All right?

You're just as uncomplicit.

The only thing that's not complicit?

Pure, raw, uncut diamonds.

TD Bank's fucked again. They got caught embezzling over a billion dollars They're motherfuckers Man, you remember when you'd go to TD Bank That was my favorite You used to bring your change in And then you used to go put your change in the change machine I like playing the change And you try to guess And there was that little girl Is that real?, no, you don't know what you got.
Is that real? Still?

What?

The change machine?

I don't know.

I stopped going to TD Bank after they stole from my mother.

Yeah.

Those motherfuckers.

You remember they used to give us piggy banks, though?

Yeah, they did.

But that was back when they were... New.

There was a different one.

They were blue, and then they turned into TD Bank.

Yeah, what were they?

Nah, who gives a shit?

You're fucking assholes.

Hey, you're here to hear us

struggle through trying to

remember something.

Fucking, how dare you

criticize us?

Yeah, well, you know, as long

do you think that D.B. Cooper could have been

scooped up by aliens? No.

You fucking

piece of shit. No.

D.B. Cooper's

fucking, I think he's Grease.

Yeah, he is Grease.

I think he's grease yeah he is grease I think he's a wet spot a shit spot in the mountains this show is sponsored by BetterHelp you know people say that therapy can feel like a big investment but do you know that your brain generates all of your tangible reality? And that when you pay money to a therapist to do that work, they are working on the very fabric of reality. And as a matter of fact, that therapist is also just a figment of your imagination.
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Terms and conditions apply. All right, let's see what else we got here.
What else we got here? Do we have any, we got some UFO mail. I mean, we do have some UFO.
I'm going to go into a little bit. I was trying to think of, there was the one story, because this story is like a nothing burger with the Thanksgiving.
He said that he couldn't, uh, the guy killed his brother accidentally on Thanksgiving because he says he sneezed too much. And so, but then you looked at it.
I thought it was like a really good killing. I thought it was like a strangling or stabbing.
But then he just accidentally knocked him over and he hit his head and then he had a call.

So it really wasn't.

Yeah, that's an accident.

It's not exciting.

Oh, you know what?

Other people that missed 9-11.

You remember we talked about on Side Stories a couple weeks ago. We talked about people that missed 9-11 because you brought up the alligator attack that the guy got ate on 9-11.

And how he got to live a blissful life. know who else who didn't know James Cameron okay where was he at everybody else's favorite disaster the Titanic that's nice he was under the water at the Titanic missed 9-11 came back up being like what I miss they said a land-based a land-based Titanic.
And you know what actually made me upset? He didn't immediately go look at it. Because that's a land Titanic.
You could get there by car. 9-11.
Yeah. Like 9-11.
You could drive to 9-11. But not when you're in the middle of the ocean.
Dude, get on a boat. You're already on one.
Come back. Fucking go to New York.
Take a picture of the new Titanic. That's a ground floor Titanic.
You're getting in right now. You get to see it at the top.
You get to tell everybody you were there. You get to take pictures.
Dying off of that. Rudy Giuliani should have still been...
He should still have goodwill to this day, but he ruined it. God, both him and Chris Christie had goodwill because of the disasters and immediately destroyed it yeah because it turns out the disasters was them after all rudy giuliani was his own 9-11 bill paxton was the one that told james cameron yeah i imagine that when he came out of the water bill paxton just said hey james guess what it's game over man game over man game over man they fucking flew two planes they're coming for our buildings man we gotta get out of our buildings man i got a little dick yeah you say and then um oh yeah bill yeah i love the fact that it was bill paxton and then someone else wrote an email i forgot what i'm saying about like if you could just miss 9-11 how nice that was oh yeah you know although i feel like if you missed it for a couple days and then you found out about it'd be even more depressing because then you just feel like a fucking idiot my guess like what's going on with my life there's a part of me that would think like still got it yeah i could definitely not remember this i could definitely definitely not remember this should we get to one of these ufo stories i got a couple of them all right let me listen to this we got a couple of good ones here we got some good longer form letters all right i wanted to read because i wanted to read this first one not the other ufo because i'm in a ufo mood i haven't seen any yet.
I've had people, also people have just been texting me all day. Yeah.
Also, be on the lookout. If you see anything, please let us break it for you.
Take a picture! I actually got a lot of footage also recently. I've gotten a lot of footage, but I'm saving them for my man.
Personal footage from people? Yes. Also, if you know how to make some fake footage, send that to.
Don't muddy the waters. CIA already has enough fun doing that.
Alright, let's get to some of these. It would be good to see some fake footage, though, that people make in order to determine what's real and what is fake.
I will say I have seen a lot of fake footage. Yeah, yeah so have i through you some of what i have shown you is just subtler than you want it to be which i do understand we all don't want it to be subtle we want it to be forthright yeah now do you think like they would walk around or is this just like are they globs of jelly like what's that you know i one of my feelings is that the ships themselves are the aliens they're not piloted by things inside of it okay like nope yes okay yeah i think that the things that we're looking at are literally the aliens all right that's cool um and i think that they are trying to look like our stuff i mean it makes sense i mean look at a stealth bomber yep yeah which is awesome very similar i know man i've seen a stealth bomber up close yeah that shit's fucking wild i'll just cruising real slow yeah and it was just like it looked like it was just floating yeah i want to scare somebody in a plane do you think that's where we got the technology from for the stealth bomber well that's that's one of the things silent but it's the it's the cloaking technology and it's the it's whatever these was the tr38 i think is another example that they said is going to be a triangle shaped ufo okay that is a what is it the tr 30 something yeah the tr 3b does america have a reverse engineered ufo this is what they say they call this an anti-gravity spacecraft okay but we don't know yet with quite what it is.
And what keeps them invisible?

Like giant ghillie suits?

Yes.

Yes.

They know it's them fucking with lights.

They're fucking with imagery.

Alright, so let's get through some listener emails.

Around a year ago, I was working

as a freelance gaffer in Los Angeles

when I was offered a job on a low-budget

indie documentary centered around

I don't see. Around a year ago, I was working as a freelance gaffer in Los Angeles when I was offered a job on a low-budget indie documentary centered around psychics in Sedona, Arizona.
Congrats. Hey, this is where we all make our money.
I took the job, thinking it would be a fun excuse to get a paycheck, see Arizona, and entertain myself at the expense of a couple of phony psychics. though there was a fair amount of bullshit and charlatans among the psychics we interviewed, I am writing about an indisputable experience I had while interviewing one specific psychic that fundamentally shifted my worldview.
During this part of the documentary, we were to accompany one of the psychics on something called a vortex tour. One of the big spiritual tourism draws to Sedona are the spiritual vortexes that are supposed to enhance your spiritual energy.
Our guide was a guy who went by the Hindu name Banna, despite being a tall white dude from Portland with a youth pastor vibe. Banna is also the American bono oh he carried a guitar just like bono and kept saying send it if there was anyone i expected to guide me to a life-changing spiritual experience it was not him it was like our uh our guide in hawaii yeah it's like come on you're from north carolina your name's r Todd.
Yeah. He took us on a short hike up a small hill called Baby Bell, slightly off the main trail.
During the hike, we were interviewing him, shooting B-roll, etc. And so it was the lighting guy.
I was very much in work mode, our entire ascent. When we reached the top of the hill, Bana had the entire crew stop working for his demonstration.

He had to stand in a circle, rimming the top of the hill,

facing away from each other and toward the Sedona landscape.

God, I love rimming a hill.

Nothing, especially in a group.

And then I'll meet Hill's father.

There was nothing that seemed to set the top of this hill apart from any of the other. No crystals, altars, carvings, anything else.
Just dirt, plants, and sky. He instructed us all to breathe in and exhale.
Then proceeded to strum his guitar twice. I focus on a faraway mountain range, fully expecting to have a nice little break before getting back to work.
That is not what happened. Almost instantly, my vision changed to what I can only describe as a high-definition filter, similar to the crystal clear effect people get when consuming marijuana, paired with a blurry vignetting effect.
Before I could even process what was happening, I started to see every possible iteration of a mountain forest mother earth spirit flashing frame by frame as visualizations until they became one. It wasn't quite a hallucination.
If you can imagine in your head, a cube floating in front of you, it was very similar to that. The difference was I was not in control of the visualization.
These visualizations were paired with an innate understanding that whatever this entity was, was introducing itself to me. I would describe it as a loving mother's energy.
It began to communicate with me without the use of words. It was as though thoughts, ideas, and intent were transferred to me with little to no room for misinterpretation.
Most notably, it seemed to lack any kind of emotion, not in a heartless way, but in a precise yet loving way. It began with the classic, don't be afraid, I am not here to hurt you, followed by everything as is as it should be.
Nothing is good nor evil, it just exists. An instant understanding of the oneness of everything.
Before I knew what was happening, I felt my head turn from the mountain ranges I was looking at and focus on a particular rock spire to my right. When I say focused, it was as if I mentally zoomed into the spires dozens of miles away.
This entity began comparing me to the spire, how it was shaped by the wind and the rain, but still stood strong against the elements, similar to how I've endured the hardships in my own life. Because the entity could see and communicate their understanding of specific hardships back to me, I began to get emotional.
I am not a very emotional person, so I instinctively repressed them, prompting the entity to tell me that it was okay to cry. I began to feel the sensation of tears on my face.

When I reached up to wipe them away,

I realized they weren't tears at all.

My face was dry and it seemed as though the sensation of tears was being simulated by the wind,

almost as if small bursts of compressed air

were being shot on my face.

After this incredibly personal and emotional message,

the entity asks if I would like to ask it anything.

I would like to keep my requests private

since they are deeply personal to me.

What I want will say is that the answers to my questions were given to me in a cryptic visualization of little beings made of blue light with veins of white light pulsing through them. I have yet to figure out what those mean.
And just like that, it was over. The experience could not have lasted more than 10 minutes, though my perception of time was very warped, so I'm not sure.
Before we descended the mountain, I had the biggest, almost involuntary, shit-eating grin on my face, to the point that other members of the crew were commenting on it. I found it difficult to speak for almost our entire descent.
Sounds like you sat on a peyote cactus. It does sort of sound like...
I mean, when I had my full, truly last full ego-destroying trip, it is like that. I think you can trip naturally.
Yeah? Yeah. I'm still waiting for my flashback, man.
I ate so much acid when I was a kid it's like where is this where i thought i used it as an investment when i'm really i want my i want i go to concerts i don't i don't eat acid i want my flashback i have found david gilmore a couple weeks ago nothing yeah you don't remember any of that shit i would say get to meditating meditating is what allows me to feel sort of a natural buzz. And then you know what also really helps with it? A couple of Bud Lights.
Yeah. Really gets you set.
Really gets you set on a meditative mood. All right, let's do one more of these UFO encounters.
All right. I was out in my backyard smoking a cigarette.
Fuck yes, dude. Good for you.
Miss it. Waiting for the dog to do his business.
My whole life. But I noticed the constellation Orion in the sky.
Maybe a bit brighter than normal. It caught my eye and I stood watching for a few minutes.
Orion was out hard when we were in Humboldt. I don't know if you noticed.
It was there. I saw his dick.
Yeah, no, it was pretty cool. But he was like, look at this, look at this.

Check it out, check it out.

That made me weird.

I didn't realize he'd be moving around.

That's what we saw.

Yeah, I heard they're actually going to change the name of Orion to Hunter Biden.

Oh, my God.

Congratulations.

Big, huge dick. And then he had that little slime of stars that look like the crack pipe.

You know that Hunter Biden's dick can actually do cocaine.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's pretty great. Pardon him again.
Pardon me. I'd like to meet Hunter Biden's dick can actually do cocaine.
Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty great. Pardon him again.
Yeah. Pardon me.
I'd like to meet Hunter Biden. All right.
Imagine that, though, if you're doing blow with someone and they put it out there and fucking snort it up with their dick. You're just like, goddamn.
Wow. America.
Can I vote for you for anything? All right. So up in the sky.
So the Orion was a bit brighter. It caught my eye and I stood watching for a few minutes.
I began to notice a movement in the stars. It seemed like the figure itself was waving or wiggling a little bit, like it was twerking.
Like a person holding an uncomfortable pose for too long. My mind went to a UFO.
But if so, this was like a projected illusion to distract or enchant me. I felt like...
Okay. The head star shifted a bit, and I could tell this was a humanoid figure standing at rest.
Finally, I also knew somehow the head star was a face looking directly at Earth, looking directly at me, and it knew I was looking right back at it. Orion's left hand began to shift up and slightly to the west.
It quickly returned to its original position near the base of the belt. It then, again, and it returned again.
The star hand seemed to wave in and out of the belt area repeatedly for around two minutes. The head star began to shudder, and from Orion's belt erupted an aurora borealis-like plume of prismatic blob, which flowed outward and coalesced into twisted ropes that grew larger in my vision until I felt my balance failing and I was suddenly laying in the wet grass, kicking my legs up to protect my face from the stellar rainbow jizz.
I writhed in the ground, wailing Orion as it washed over me, warm at first but becoming cold surprisingly fast. I laid there, afraid to move and afraid to open my eyes until I started getting chilly and I stole a peek.
The sky looked normal. I wasn't covered in space goo and I had lost my cigarette and put my elbow in dog shit from writhing around.
I am still unsure if this was a nuts and bolts UFO trying to psychically invade me or an interdimensional trickster figure taking the form of Orion. Please share this story and help me unlock the meaning of this experience.
Sounds like he had a stroke or a UTI. It was hallucinating who knows you know but then is an illuminate this hallucination not real if you're seeing it it's not you're right you're correct yeah but if it's sucking your dick as as real as it gets buddy and you just got biden's you never know you never know i gotta down there.
I love every day knowing that I get my crack rock from my local crack guy. He gets it from these farms upstate.
And then I love the guy. Then I laugh.
Taking my freshly made... I got my little picnic basket with my rocks in it, my freshly made glass.
I go down and I visit the sex workers. They love they love me we laugh and then i live a fun life knowing that i could fucking get off scot-free that's right boobie goes i'm having too much fun for this to be illegal love you hunter biden miss you buddy you know what though text me anymore.
Yeah, well, old Biden, the president, go ahead and pardon all those people with marijuana charges, too, while you're at it, fucker. Eddie, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm sorry. I just wanted to say something.
No, let's not ever let, let's, you know. If you're going to do this.
Let's let him do something well. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Well, Joe Biden, oh, we're going to miss you.

Yeah, that's right.

And I hope that when you go to heaven, Jimmy Carter's there waiting for you.

Man, you know Jimmy Carter's going to outlive Biden.

It's very possible.

It's definitely.

Jimmy Carter is like the king of hospice.

They put a little crown on him.

He won't quit.

He's like, he's the Kenan Thompson of hospice. He put a little crown on him.
He won't quit. He's like he's the Kenan Thompson of hospice.

He will not leave.

Anything else, Eddie, before

we get out of here? No, nothing else. We did our plugs

up top. We did our plugs up top.
Go to

patreon.com slash lastpodcastandleft

to watch this horribly filmed version of

Side Stories. We're in a hotel room.

Yes, that's right. And it looks like this.

Also, go

to lastpodcastandleft.com. Buy those tickets.

We gave you all the live shows. We show you

we'll doing it. You fucking show up.
Atlanta in January. I can't wait.
January 11th at the Coca-Cola Roxy. That's the next one after this.
And still, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this yet. Mm-hmm.
But there might be another thing in Atlanta. The day after.
Yeah, keep your ears paled. Yes, because Eddie and I might do a full-on improv show.
Yeah, who knows? Not that we've ever done that before. Yeah, no.
So keep your ear to the ground. We might do it, we might not, but we're looking to maybe hopefully jump in there.
And for you idiots putting your ear to the ground, check your laptop. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
That's not where you're going to get your information from the ground, all right? You're not Pocahontas. And clean your ears.
Because they're covered in dirt. Safely.
Outside. No Q-chips, apparently, even though I do it because I'm a real worker.
I can't stop. I'm not stopping my Q-chips.
I put it right in my ear. See, I don't care that I'm wrong.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's wrong.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, fucking without a condom.
It's my ear. Yeah, it's my ear.
What do you want from me? Yeah. One day I'll go get it like in my ear.
I don't care that I'm wrong. Yeah.
I know it's wrong. Yeah.
It's like, yeah. Fuck him without a condom.

It's my ear.

Yeah. It's my ear.

What do you want from me?

Yeah.

One day I'll go get it like dripped out.

But for now, I'm stabbing.

If you have so much wax that you have to go to the hospital.

Yeah.

Like that's bad.

Yeah.

Also, there's a drum in there.

Beat it.

The fuck?

Neil Peered it.

Hail Satan.

Hail Gilbert Gottfried, baby. I found this t-shirt.
Oh, wow, yeah, I just saw that. Great shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah.
Rock and roll. See you guys next week.
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