Side Stories: Squirrel Stories

Side Stories: Squirrel Stories

November 06, 2024 57m Episode 986
Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news starting off with a slew of updates AND THEN the story of the week: beloved internet star Peanut the Squirrel euthanized by New York State DEC, Four UK cult members jailed after storming courthouse with handcuffs in plot to abduct coroner, Listener Stories, and MORE!

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Full Transcript

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This is the Lost. On the left.
Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.
Yes. Another Jill Stein morning to wake up to.
God damn! What an incredible day in the new Steinemaniac Nation. I can't believe she and the biggest surprise of all jumped ahead of both the candidates.
Two candidates. I would love to crawl inside of her.
Jill Stein. Spend a week and a half with my head.
Be my Jillian Stein. Yes.
Yes, Scotty. Wow, what a new world to be in.
Yeah, the green party for her bush. Oh, yeah, she dyed it.
Yes. So she could feel young.
Yes, she's got a fern between her legs. So she won't feel worse when she's having sex with the Grinch.
Yes! Welcome to Side Stories. Hail Jill Stein.
I'm your host, Andrew Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.
And what a hilarious day to pre-record a podcast. I know.
Yes, this comes out on Wednesday. Yep, it does.
And Wednesday is the day after America's election day. Closely watched by the entire world, Eddie.
Oh, very nice. I remember being in a cab in New Zealand, Auckland.
And then the driver was kind enough to ask me the great question, Are you voting for the orange man or the bitch.

It's completely true.

Other countries do it differently.

They're supposed to be super sweet over there too.

They're not.

It's a lie.

Everybody, when we were in,

especially in New Zealand,

the big joke was that when Eddie and I were together,

everybody would be like,

so where's your guns? And we're all like, they're home asleep with their minders. They actually had to take a break because of how much I was shooting them before I left.
Yeah, I left them in the kennel. Yeah, they were there with my nanny, my gun nanny.
I kissed them goodnight and I snuck out of the house, but I'll be back soon enough. They won't even know I'm gone.
They have no sense of time. They can't wait to be fired again.
But for those of you that, you know, we're here in a time of uncertainty, especially on Tuesday, election day. Yeah.
We don't know what's going to happen. I am going to say I have spent the several last days researching the newly revealed or partially revealed Epstein tapes from this reporter Michael Wolfe.
That should be our new national anthem. I tell you what.
Put a beat under it? Hot fire. Yeah.
Epstein spitting hot fire. I can't believe that this stayed underground.
This should be fucking everywhere. Dua Lipa needs to sample this.
Know what we do? Puffy does a beat on it. Oh, well.
Please, before we even begin, you bring him up. I just want to say, guys, happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you. you.
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.
Newly arrested but not yet convicted. Maybe serial human trafficker and music producer P.
Diddy. Happy birthday to you.

Yes.

What a wonderful day to celebrate.

One of our favorite Troubled Producers birthday.

Yes.

If you want, you can go ahead and look at his family singing him happy birthday.

And they tagged a whole bunch of people in there, including Quincy Jones.

Miss him too.

Yes.

Also died. Got out clean.
Yes. Got out clean.
Can't believe it. Wow.
Happy birthday, P. Diddy.
See you in hell next year. Now, go back to the Epstein tapes.
Now, they were recorded, apparently about 100 hours of Epstein interview footage. The only long form.
How have we never heard of any of it till now? Because Michael Wolff's a fucking Benedict Arnold and a traitor to the human race. And he's a reporter who has decided to save that material for his own podcast, Fire and Fury.
And now it seems to be is that one thing that might seem to signal was that one of the major sources for his book, Fire and Fury, was Jeffrey Epstein about the insides of the Donald Trump White House, which shows that they were closer for far longer than our beloved former president wanted to say that they were. And that they were best friends, according to Epstein.
They were absolutely the closest friends possible for 10 years. And that he said Donald Trump's not a nice guy.
Yeah. And, you know.
They had a falling out. I don't take Jeffrey Epstein's opinion, like, highly for a lot of things except for masseuses, islands, and Donald Trump.
So I feel like if you're going to believe him... I don't even think his choice in islands is that great.
Well, isn't even that good. Yeah, no, it's filled with pedophiles.
I mean, that's the worst part. Never mind the birds.
But, no, hey, Eddie, that's not true. The pedophiles weren't indigenous to his island.
They were flown in. They are an invasive species.
We're looking at a picture right now. Who's this with Trump? See, that is Melania.
Really? Oh, yeah. She used to be very hot before she turned into a twisted crone of evality.
I didn't even recognize her. Yes.
No, she looked like that. She was purchased by Epstein and given to Trump.
She is some form of spy for several countries. So is Epstein.
Ghislaine Maxwell, certainly, because now sitting in jail for Jeffrey Epstein and probably for Trump. Because, unfortunately, when Kamala Harris, I mean, when she wins on some level, I do believe that that is that is certain.
She's going to end up pardoning him because I don't know why. I don't know why they feel they need to do that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who is she going to pardon? Trump. Mark my words.
No. She's definitely going to pardon Trump.
She's a prosecutor. It doesn't matter.
She loves putting people in prison. That's the whole thing.
The problem with Democrats is they have this idea about precedent and the idea that you pardon because Nixon was pardoned. So I think they're going to end up doing the same thing.
I don't think Biden would have pardoned him. I don't think Biden knows where his shoes are.
If I was Biden, I would pardon my son immediately. Yeah, but that shows bipartisanship.
And technically, Hunter Biden earned that jail sentence by being hilarious. Yes, I know.
You know, like awesome all right but he needs to serve a little jail time he's gonna get out and it's gonna be even better you think so yeah he's gonna be helpful he's funny he needs a television show i like hunter biden you know who back in the day you know where hunter biden would have been king qvc oh my god if he had come back to QVC and did a whole line of like,

you know, like pant fillers.

Oh my God, dude.

Laptop cases saying like,

don't open.

You know what I mean?

Top secret.

He's going to make so much fucking money.

Hunter Biden,

look at these pictures of him on the beach.

He's got a natural six pack.

He looks fucking great.

And then what we'll see is

I think that we're going to have

Hunter Biden in some sort of

celebrity boxing match with Donald Trump Jr. And then hopefully Donald Trump Jr.
gets paralyzed in the middle of it. We'll find out.
We'll find out. But obviously, I just want to make sure you guys understand that we talked about Epstein for a long time.
We've been talking about Piediddy now, which seems to be another one of these gigantic Sisyphean human trafficking cases involving politicians and money.

And it's just more of it right now until I see footage of Kamala Harris inside of one of these giant infrastructures, pedophilia.

So far, she's fine. So far.
Yes. And so we'll find out.

But I think that if soon as you're how do you put it? Don Cheadle.

Yeah. Didn't deserve to be lumped in because he took one plane one time.
One time on the Epstein planes. Oh, Don Cheadle was on the Epstein planes.
Oh, one of them. Yeah.
Famously, what Epstein would do is- But lots of people were on the planes. Exactly.
That's how he muddied the waters. That's what he did to make it seem really, really difficult to parse who was a criminal and who was not.
That's the reason why what he did was that on top of his gigantic, this is Jeffrey Epstein, on top of his gigantic pedophile cabal, he also gave millions and millions of dollars to extremely important scientific study, like Harvard and Princeton. He gave money all over the world, so he became this benefactor to science as well, and also implicating all of them in his crimes as well, which also allowed them to maybe slow the roll

on talking about how bad of a person

Jeffrey Epstein really was.

Oh, so

that's good that he did that.

It's complicated.

Because partially it was about

Epstein saving his cum so he can make a race

of super babies in the future. His belief that he could save his own dick and head.
Do we still have his cum? I have some, but that's only because people sent it to me. I didn't buy it.
Yeah. You get it frozen in an autograph.
Yes, it is. I have it in an ice cube tray in my freezer.
But I, otherwise, no, that's kind of what he, he was in the transhumanist movement, the idea of deliminating aging, because Epstein thought he would live in the future in space in a whorehouse on the moon. You know, growing up, I knew this kid named Jeffrey Epstein.
I just feel so bad for him. Did he move to New York? He was older.
He's older than us. But then, yeah, we'll see how this all goes, but it's certainly not anxiety-ducing at

all. Now, the next big thing I

want to bring up is an apology and a correction.

Vincent Price. Yeah.
He's

bisexual. He was.
I was right.

And some people said he was famously bisexual,

but obviously not because I didn't know. I mean, I

knew. And so, and you

know a lot more about this stuff than I do.

I don't know as much about ass-eating as you did in that

moment, but you were correct. I don't think he ate ass.
I think that if you were back in the day, if you're not eating ass, what are you? I mean, I think his mustache is too tiny. I thought the mustache is what made it tickle.
Yeah, he's quite... He's seen one of his little bunny rabbit's head.
No, he... Yeah, straight up bisexual.
I mean, look at him!

According to this, he shared anecdotally that his first two wives divorced him because they weren't comfortable with his sexuality.

His third wife, Coral Brown, was also openly bisexual, and the two remained married until her death.

Ooh, they were a team.

Price served on the board of PFLAG after his daughter came out as a lesbian,

and he was one of the first actors to publicly spread

awareness about the HIV AIDS epidemic.

So, yeah, he's sucking dick.

He's fucking eating scrum.

He's licking pussy and

he's fucking ass. God bless

Vincent Price and his ghost. All over the place.

I love this guy. Love this guy.

That makes me like him more, obviously. Obviously.

I like anybody that's an equal opportunity.

Get two dicks in there and a pussy on his butt. I mean, that's probably why he was forced to do horror movies.
What? Well, because if he was openly gay in Hollywood back then, they probably wouldn't have put him in a real movie. No, it was the only place that allowed him to truly reach the edges of his performance.
Also, I think that it was because he was a leading man in that world. And he identified with horror.
Yeah. Like, he wasn't like, he wasn't like a lot of people that get into horror and then resent it immediately.
There's a lot of actors that do that. They make their nut in horror and then they're like, I'm more than horror.
And then they want to get out of it. Vincent Price was not like that.
No, he was down. He got it.
All the way through to Thriller. Yeah, he fucking understood what was going on.
And yeah, he rapped for Michael Jackson. Mm-hmm.
Ooh. House of Flax.
Your place, your home is like the House of Flax. It is.
Yeah. Because I do eat a lot of flax, but I haven't eaten as much because I've been eating more.
I've got some of that kefir. Kefir's great! I got that and I mixed that in with my chia seeds.
Mmm! I'm out of chia seeds! I went through the whole gallon. You believe that? Yeah, dude.
No, I'm blowing through these things. That's how much of a fucking cock I am.
I got a fucking inch on my vertical. I ran out of chia seeds.
I went to the whole gallon. You believe that? Yeah, dude.
No, I'm blowing through these things. That's how much of a fucking cuck I am.
I got a fucking inch on my vertical. I ran out of chia seeds.
I went to the grocery store to vote for Kamala Harris on the way. That's how much of a cuck I've become.
I used to be a no rules, pork fat, cigarette smoking, no voting piece of shit. That's right.
Man, look at me now. Look at you now.
You're still a fucking piece of shit. Yeah, no, I went and bought some chia seeds at Gelson's and man, they were expensive.
They are. You paid for each seed there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you know it's good.
Someone also brought up a bit of an update on the story about the poor young girl, Gursamaran Kawur,, got trapped in the Walmart oven. And they're saying that a couple of things are a bit hinky with the story is the fact that it happened at midnight and she had no backup.
Essentially what they are talking about is that this is- Somebody would have to turn the thing on. It sounds like everything that could go wrong went wrong while they were understaffed.
And so what it sounds like they have been specifically understaffed for a while. A lot of people kind of pointed towards that.
It seems to be sort of a sentiment of immigrants doing twice the work that they're supposed to be doing in these stores, essentially because of weird, you know, like societal bullshit, racial, racist implications. And that maybe they were kind of left with their own devices at night.
And sounds, she should not have been alone in that back area. I mean, obviously not.
They were never supposed to have been alone. And so she fell into it.
So it could have been some massive, horrible, horrible accident. And of course, people are also claiming that it could be murder.
Of course. Much like the other update we had where that murder was based on the bear, that dude.
Oh, please. Let's get into it.
One last little update here, which is really, really arfed. But the guy that we thought got murdered by a bear, unfortunately, now we know that immediately, well, it was a dude.
Yeah, we knew it then. Yes.
We know that someone, the man that got murdered, Dustin Kajersum, he was murdered and they found a beer can right by the scene that they labeled for DNA. They checked for DNA and they immediately caught the dude, a guy by the name of Darren Christopher Abbey.
He was immediately nabbed for this crime. So, hey, cops are working.
Yeah. They're doing their job out there.
They got them. Got them.
Man, you know, I hate it just like, you kill someone with an axe and chug a beer and toss it on the ground. Hey, I mean, if I kill somebody with an axe, I'm going to need a beer.
Yeah, I know, but do it at home. Yeah, that's the thing.
Yeah, save it for the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The car ride home. If you already, if you killed somebody with an axe, you're allowed to have one beer while you.
You've already done it. You've already done horrible things.
Just imagine getting a DUI after murder, like on top of your murder charge. Maybe the DUI could get you out of the murder because then you could be like, oh man, I was too busy getting processed.
I couldn't be in there. Then all of a sudden, yeah, you got the DUI, but you got off scoffery for murder.
Maybe this is an excellent tip

for murderers. I also have

a small update that I found

today. We were talking about mosquitoes recently

and whether we should get rid of them or not.

But scientists make a shocking discovery

about mosquitoes. If the males

are deaf, they

don't mate. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if they

have no sense of hearing, they don't mate. Let me give you a little piece of advice to the mosquitoes.
All you gotta do is, you don't need to hear. Just go, yeah, baby, wow, that does sound crazy.
Well, too bad the ones that need to hear it won't. But I'm saying, if you say, like, you don't know, you're being talked to by a lady mosquito.
Do you think mosquitoes have sign language? I don't know. But you're trying to say, like, lady mosquitoes mosquito lips.
Oh, yeah, the little long snout. But it doesn't even matter.
It doesn't even matter. In order to get laid, you've got to do the thing where you go, yeah, baby, yeah, she's crazy.
Oh, yeah, baby, that sounds, wow, wow. What a horrible day at work.
Do you need a massage? What's your major? That's all you need. You don't need to actually hear.
Think about that, male mosquitoes. Yeah, but they say eliminating mosquitoes.
Sense of hearing could be the key to eliminating mosquito-borne diseases such as yellow fever and Zika. Whatever happened to Zika? You know, I don't know.
I miss Zika. Have we seen any Zika babies recently? Can we get them up on the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are the Zika babies voting? Yeah. Has the polling gotten to the Zika babies? Yeah, I don't think they're 18 yet.
No, maybe not. But if you got it, whatever happened to Zika? The Atlantic says it's an article that says whatever happened to Zika, like it was just some lady.
Yeah, yeah. You think you're old now.
Remember them? Zika. And it's just like a...
Yeah, yeah. Where are they at now? Zika babies.
Oh my God, they were on Dancing with the Zika babies? I didn't even know that was a show. That was amazing.
Oh yeah, persistent low levels in several countries still. Zika's around.
Don't worry. You can still get Zika.
Okay, good. But it just makes the baby's head smaller, which is, you know, it's not good.
But, I mean, I ain't having kids. Exactly.
I'll take Zika's. But I think you get sick, too.
I think I'm fine. I'm going to say I'm good.
You got Zika right now? I don't know if it's true or not. You got that Zika? Man, it's expensive.
Yeah, dude. Tell me about it.
Tell me about it. Live from your grave.
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Get up to 60% off at babbelcom slash left spelled b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash left babbel.com slash left rules and restrictions may apply all right we got it right so that was like we did some updates we got some stories now one story is truly honestly this looks just like a lot of stuff's kind of come up there's been a lot of information yeah between the epstein tapes between again hunter biden's laptop between obviously donald trump you know he's a pedophile and a rapist and a criminal and a liar and stuff like that and a lot of kind of evidence but one story like he saved liar for last yeah was the worst one I mean the worst part is the way he dresses is the hypocrisy the hypocrisy always the hypocrisy but then but there's a story that cuts through all the noise on one of the most like wacky days I've ever been through as a person we are in it buddy so please Social media star Peanut the Squirrel has been euthanized after being seized from a New York home. And not only was he seized, he had a little hat on.
Yeah, well, that's his most famous photo. He is right now currently almost at 800,000 followers.

Holy shit. On Instagram.

Is that not too big to be fucking

assassinated in this world?

Is he the Epstein? Killed by the government.

What did he know? What did the peanut

squirrel know? He was seven years

old. Whoa.

It's pretty old for a squirrel, right? He's burning around a long time.

He probably saw a lot of those peanutty parties.

Yeah, yeah. You ever been to a peanut party? Peanutty? Back in the day? Fucking gerbils all covered in oil.
Little hamsters fucking getting gangbanged by two fucking Datsuns. Peanutty parties were fucking off the fucking limb, dude.
Things were out of control, man. Almonds everywhere.
So, peanut the squirrels uh i'm not gonna say they call them owner but i don't you know i think more of like life partner no one owns a squirrel yeah yeah yeah you're not allowed to um mark longo so his house was raided and they came and they took peanut the squirrel and then they also also took, I think he had a raccoon named Fred, I think was the raccoon's name. And they took both of them and they euthanized them when they wanted to test for rabies.
No, I did not know that they have to just hack them up into salsa in order for them to check to see that they have rabies or not. No, it's actually like a sausage grinder, and they put it in tail first so they can hear it scream the longest.
Definitely. That's how you know if it has rabies or not, that long screamings.
Now, I heard that main... You taste it, and you wait months, and you see if you get rabies.
You get sick. Yeah.
Well, apparently the main issue was that it bit one of the police officers that tried to take it out of his house. Yes.
You don't grab a man's squirrel and expect not to get bit.

This is the thing. How did we get here?

How did we get here? So the cops went to

go. At first, people

they're saying that they went in, right? Because

the squirrel and the

raccoon are illegal for them to have.

And they decided that they were living

out loud too much, right? The idea

is that they have been throwing their squirrel

based lifestyle in the faces of over 800,000 people. Well, there's also Peanuts Freedom Farm, which is these people, they have a rescue farm with lots of horses and ponies.
And so the squirrel was rescued. I know that the squirrel was rescued.
Yes, because he saw the mom get hit by a car. Mark Longo.
So Mark Longo is the owner and the custodian of Peanut's mom. And he saw Peanut's mom get hit by a car.
And then he was like, oh my God, we got to find this mom's baby squirrel. And he found Peanut the squirrel and he rehabilitated Peanut the squirrel, raised it, and then released Peanut the squirrel in his backyard.
And then the next day, Peanut the squirrel showed up back with half his tail eaten off. No, I mean, that's the problem.

He sounded like he was bad at it.

Yeah, so he decided that Peanut was then going to be

a indoor squirrel.

You know, I don't know how would they,

how would the police even know that he had an indoor squirrel

to come take?

Well, the police were raided the house.

The TMZ reports that the authorities were after pornography and not animals when they raided the house. And the animals just happened to be in the house.
So, all right. So what we now know, the main twist.
Yes. Is that Mark Longo and his wife have an OnlyFans channel.
Yeah. And they bang on OnlyFans and take money.
And also, if you go to Peanut the Squirrel's Instagram account and you watch a lot of these videos, I will say Peanut the Squirrel's in a lot of the videos, but so is Mark Longo's cock. Oh, yes.
It's very present. He's wearing a lot of gray sweat pant.
There's a lot of crotch forward material. Yeah, the squirrel jumps on his ass a lot.
Yeah, you could see that. It's definitely a side.
It's definitely like, okay, here's Peanut the Squirrel, but I also have an OnlyFans. I have a huge cock, yeah.
And so, I mean, there's nothing wrong with them having this job. They are sex workers.
They're allowed to do it. No problem with it.
They're rehabilitating squirrels and they are fucking for money. But apparently, someone decided that that was, I guess, inappropriate because they also sometimes watch kids sometimes.
Yes, they also babysit for some of those neighbors' children. So what they got was Karen.
Yes. So Karen called the police on them because they found out that their kids were being watched by two people with an OnlyFans channel.
We don't even know who called it or nothing. None of that's been released.
This is completely my call. This is a theory.
This is a theory. And they got angry when they found out.
I mean, he's got a huge Johnson. He really does.
Yeah, he's showing it all the time. To be honest, I would kind of feel weird dropping my kids off after watching his huge fucking dick flop up and down.
This dude's got a squirrel with a waffle on his shoulder. Only just because of a huge fucking massive cock pointed out of his gray sweatpants.
There's no way you can't notice the cock. As someone who doesn't try to look for cock, it's right there.
It's mostly just because if I was the father, it'd be more like, I don't want you to get used to looking at this cock child and thinking that's what fathers have. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And it's like high level for a child. But I do understand in some ways, I don't actually understand.
It's just out of sheer ignorance that don't understand that you can be both like an OnlyFans person and not a pedophile. Absolutely.
You can just do that. It's his wife.
And the big key here is that which is the lamest of OnlyFans by the way. I want you to understand how lame that is for a married couple.
I think a dude jerking off by himself is lamer than a guy banging his wife. Oh yeah, by far.
Yes, Correct. I think that is worse.
You are absolutely correct. Yes, yes, yes.
But I will say a guy ramming a dildo in his ass, way cooler than both of those. I mean, you're obviously here for work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? If you're pegging yourself on camera, you're doing the work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're getting there.

That's the same as the coal mines from our great-grandfathers. It takes an athlete.
It does. It does, because you've got to get back there.
I can't do it. I fucking rip up my fucking colon.
Well, you could always put it, you know, get the suction cup one, jelly it up, throw it in the end of the bathtub. I feel like I just hurt myself.
To be honest, I don't know what I'm doing. But again, the is is that people can't parse the idea that people can be both sex workers rehabilitating animals and not pedophiles correct so somebody saw all of this at once decided they were pedophiles unless it does become revealed that they shot child exploitation material right which is the actual which would be an actual issue but none of that is even and if that not remotely on the table, if you're just looking for a married couple fucking on camera, then good luck, police officers.
And then, yeah, you might get bitten by their fucking squirrel. Don't come in.
That's like, why are you in my house? And then they wipe out fucking Peanut the Squirrel and Fred the Racoon. Yes.
Yeah, they fucking iced them. And now there's a GoFundMe set up.
But we were talking about this earlier. So much money goes through GoFundMe.
So much money. I don't even understand it.
But now there's an honor of Peanut and Fred. Support Peanuts Freedom Farm.
Now, Peanuts Freedom Farm is the place where they have all these animals and stuff like that. So far, they've raised $203,000.
I will say, though, we don't really know. We want the money to be going to the Peanuts Freedom Farm, and we cannot necessarily say we support this full-throatedly because I have no idea if this money...
I can give a shit if you give them money or not. Yeah, obviously.
I don't care. I don't care at all if you give Peanuts Farm money.
Peanuts gone now, so it doesn't even really matter. Yeah, Peanuts, I mean, what was he really doing to help the farm anyway? Other than being an internet star.
I think the cock was doing the heavy lifting.

Oh, definitely.

On Peanut's Instagram account.

It's very possible.

I don't think Peanut really.

I mean, lots of people got squirrels.

I don't want to blame Mark Longo.

I think unless, again, something more nefarious comes out,

I think that he was doing the best he could for these animals,

and he just was, but that's how you make money.

There's not a lot of money in a rehabilitation center for,

unless you have it, a petting zoo adjunct or something else attached to it, how you make money there's not a lot of money in a rehabilitation center for unless you have it a petting zoo a junk yeah something else attached to it and you have money going there you know on the social media i mean peanut 800 000 you're making a couple bucks yeah a month so um a new york politician has now introduced peanuts law which uh says officials you can't legally kick a football.

Jake Blumenkrantz, repping... This is from TMZ, of course.

Great news place.

Jake Blumenkrantz, repping Assembly District 15 on Long Island,

has drafted Peanuts Law, a Humane Animal Protection Act,

which would impose a 72-hour wait before euthanizing any sanctuary animal. Yeah.
And no, so Trump is actually angry about the euthanasia of the squirrel? Wow, I've never been on the same side of this. Republicans are rallying.
For the squirrel. This is the one time where- Well, the people eat them.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Now you're waiting.
You're waiting, good mate. You're waiting, good mate.
I think that they don't know know the only fans angle of the story, which is why they're even

angry.

So they don't even understand why it even happened because these people don't read.

But I do understand that it's the only time this is a cross out.

It's this.

It's Peanut the Squirrel and Aliens are the only aisle crossing.

We all want Peanut to be alive.

Everybody wanted Peanut to be alive.

But we had to see if he had rabies.

I mean, the way you know of it, he didn't have rabies.

It was a home-based squirrel.

Yes.

No, I know.

But a bit of cop.

Thank you. alive.
Everybody wanted Peanut to be alive. But we had to see if he had rabies.
I mean, the way you know of it, he didn't have rabies. It was a home-based squirrel.
Yes. No, I know, but it bit a cop.
You know, and that's because he was arresting his daddy. But also, I agree with Peanut on biting the cop.
Yes. And I remember when we were arrested, one of my buddy's dogs bit a cop, and then it just had to go to jail for three weeks.
That's cool, though. That's cool for that dog.
Yeah, it just went to dog jail for a little while, and then he let him out. Went off to college.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, funny. But yeah, no, so Peanut, very dead.
People are upset about it. But also, the town official refuses to get the governor involved over the dead squirrel.
He says, I will not. The Chamonk town supervisor, George Richter, tells TMZ that he has no knowledge of the squirrel saga exploding on his turf.
Mark Longo and his wife claim two of their rescue pets, Peanut and Fretney, were unjustly seized and killed over alleged rabies concerns. But this man will not contact Governor Kathy Hochul about the about the death of a squirrel he says it doesn't matter oh yeah this is a it's interesting because it does the social media presence of the story got bigger and bigger but i actually weirdly think it points to an issue that i notice i've dealt with on my own with police and animals yeah which is they don't want to deal with it.
Yeah. They just don't want to get involved with animal ownership or things going on inside of the house.
Richter said, I am not calling the governor over a dead squirrel. She won't do anything anyway.
She won't. I mean, what are they going to do? I don't know.
Like, I don't know what they're going to do. Honestly, though.
Give you money back. It's a squirrel.
I mean, yeah, it's cute. It's popular.
I mean, you don't say that to Mark Longo and his cock.

I know. Alright, because you think he's

going to be able to get it up? Oh, I'm

sure they're only fans. He's

going to have to. They're more popular than ever.
Yeah,

I hope that he's able to get hard after all

this. Yeah, I know he will.
Because then he can just sit and every single

time he goes to fucking nut inside of his

fucking married legal wife. Mark Longo.

He looks at the little shadowy

spot where Peanut the Squirrel

used to be and he just probably

We'll be back. time he goes to fucking not inside of his fucking married legal wife.
He looks at the little shadowy spot where Peanut the Squirrel used to be and he just probably his cum goes back in his balls. How do we find his OnlyFans and see how it's doing? Can we subscribe? I want to watch one.
I just want to watch what the fuck his wife wants. I mean, you can, but you really can.
I feel like this is one of those. It's hard to find.
Do you think Peanut was on the OnlyFans? Then that's bestiality. That's a little too crossover.
But I don't know whether or not. I don't think that it was like there.
It wasn't like he put on his balls. You'd put like hummingbird food on his balls.
And the squirrel would come and lick at his balls. It's already nuts.
Wow. It's nuts.
They don't know it's nuts. We call them nuts.
That's the human nomenclature for our testicles. Yes.
I mean, to them, they could call them oranges. I bet they would bite.
Oh, yeah. I don't want them nowhere near my testicles.
No, absolutely not. No, I don't want to fucking...
At least it's little fingers. I don't want to be near a squirrel.
I think squirrels would bite the shit out of you. Now, Fred the raccoon, how do you feel about raccoons in his house? Oh, my God, look at this hanging.
Like, this is just... It's all...
It's so much... It's all his cock.
It is so much cock. It really is.
Just so much of his cock. It's all these comments saying, just realize these videos are about squirrels.

Unbelievable.

Well, we do feel for you, Squirrel Dad.

It's upsetting what happened to you.

And now you only got one way out.

You gotta fuck your way out.

Just like the rest of us.

We did get... Oh, look, he did have one here, yeah.

Oh, no, that's... No, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Oh, okay.
Squirrel Daddy. Oh, there he is.
Oh, Squirrel Daddy, yep. Oh, it's all solo! Yeah, of course.
Now it's lame. I thought he was banging his wife.
But no, it's all solo and then the whole... Oh, no.
Yeah, this is not good, man. Maybe the squirrel is involved.
Yeah, I don't know. I hope the squirrel's not involved.
The squirrel doesn't know. Well, we have a listener.
Squirrel exploitation material. Who's involved with these people.
They say they're a fundraising manager for Peanuts Animal Sanctuary. They say the farm is a sanctuary that began with a man's love for a squirrel peanut.
The baby squirrel has been seen on international television and has been loved by millions. Mark and his wife, Donnie, built the sanctuary around their love for rescuing Peanut.
They also successfully saved dozens of horses from slaughter, some being sent just for becoming pregnant. Wow.
Yeah, and they've rescued over 200 goats. Again, hopefully this has nothing to do with the OnlyFans.
Yes. Because then where, I mean, this is one of those fun what I'm hoping we're not is heading towards one of the harder apologies that we'll have.
You know what I mean? Where it's like, because we don't know really maybe what the whole story is and then I'm kind of wondering. We're not taking his side.
No, not necessarily. No, I am.
This is news. I'm just not judging him for having an OnlyFans.
I'm not judging him for I think. We did judge him.
We did say that the saddest OnlyFans is a man alone, but that's fine. I think that's fine.
No, that's judging everybody. I think that's fair.
That's not just him. That's anyone who jerks off on OnlyFans.
I think that's the saddest version of OnlyFans. I do think so, too.
Actually, I think I'd take that back. If you're doing comedy on OnlyFans, because it's too edgy.
Crazy. Oh, it's so edgy.
Yeah. That's the lowest four.
That exists. Oh, I know.
Yes, that is the lowest of the low. Yeah, yeah.
So we take it back. Yeah, I'm sorry.
You're right. You're up the rung.
Squirrel Daddy. If you're just jerking off, it's better than telling jokes.
But you better not have put that fucking squirrel anywhere near your fucking cum, dude. Yeah.
Okay, because I'm going to be upset. Everyone's going to be upset with you.
All right? I'm putting my reputation on the line. My Kamala Harris voting reputation.
I'm putting on the line that you're not fucking these squirrels. Okay? Because I'm trying to stay good.
I'm trying to stay with it. Stay with the young.
Yeah, man. You see, Henry's got his wonderful, his American hat on.
It's not my flag. I'll eat your ass.
Yes, this is my fake out hat. Yeah.
Because it looks like you get upset when you look at it. And then it says, I'll eat your ass.
Oh, God. Yes.
Just have fun on there, squirrel dad. Just leave the squirrels out of it.
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We have another story here. I love, you know me.
You love your sovereigns. You know I love my sovereign citizens.
And the case I made the last time that we talked about sovereign citizens is this idea that they, sovereign citizens are funny and silly and a waste of everybody's time until they get really dangerous.

Yes.

And I am of the opinion that at some point, these guys are going to get dangerous more than silly. Of course.
Because the more frustrated that they get, the more they realize that their court horseshit and quantum grammar doesn't work, the more they are going to realize, oh, maybe we need to start doing this the old fashioned way. Yeah.
Well, they can't get along. That's why they do what they do.
They are literally, it's like Satanist too. Like the idea of a Satanist grouping is so funny.
Yeah. Because it's like, so an idealist, individualist, like thought process.
It's like, you're trying to group us all together? We all think that we're our own god and master. You know what I mean? It's gonna be hard to get us to pay dues.
But this guy, the sovereign citizens are just they are such a huge pain in the ass, and I just wanted to use this as a fucking example of exactly what it was I was talking about.

And they're not just in America, folks.

Oh, no.

They're all over the world.

And just like us, oh, the UK is getting our fucking, you think that we came from nowhere, UK?

You all think you're fucking fancier than us?

We just went to London.

We went to an afters.

You ain't good looking.

No.

Well, you are.

Some of them are hot.

They're very attractive.

But at the afters, you ain't no better than us.

No.

I saw no kings and queens in that fucking afters.

Thank you. Some of them are hot They're very attractive But at the afters, you ain't no better than us I saw no kings and queens In that fucking afters That's for fucking certain So just know y'all ain't no different I do love London I could really spend some time there Even though I just called everyone ugly When we leave, when we were supposed to be expats I'm very ugly You're ugly as well I'm attractive No, you're handsome.
Your hands are in a way. I'm attractive to a certain group.
Same as me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a type of person that arrives for us. There's a type of person that's like, oh my God, let me slice me some of that ham.
Yeah. And then everyone else is like, what are you talking about? Well, mostly they're like, excuse me, sir, do you drive the bus? You know what I mean? You just look like- I don't have a license.
Yeah. We both look like just a random civil servants.
You know what I mean? So this group, a group called the, they named themselves something really, really stupid and general. Again, they were called the federal postal court.
This group of morons in the UK tried to kidnap and kill someone. They were led by a guy by the name of Mark Christopher and the group of idiots that were with them was Matthew Martin, Shiza Harper, and Sean Harper.
These are normal, quote-unquote, normal people. They wanted to shut down Essex Coroner's Court and abduct Senior Coroner Lincoln Brooks in April of 2023.
Now, what they decided was that he was a part of a gigantic human trafficking ring with no evidence whatsoever. They had built up a case sending essentially sending fake arrest warrants to the coroner's office over and over again, saying that they were going to come arrest and corporally punish this coroner for being a part of a human trafficking world.
I'm just so confused by all of this, because if you are, in fact, a sovereign citizen and you don't believe in government, how are you, your own government and a leader? Because you shouldn't be allowed like your whole like the way you look at things shouldn't even be. I'm a leader.
You're inherently I honestly it's the reason why I do believe people vote for Trump, right?'re either purposefully ignorant right where you're you specifically want to be ignorant you don't do the reading and you are stick in the mud and you want things to be one way and you want to be your way or the highway and you don't really care what anybody else says I think that's one I think two maliciously ignorant I think the people that are specifically hateful and cynical and want to essentially like manipulate people by saying a bunch of stuff that's fake because they think if they're on the winning side of it, they will be impervious to any problems after the fact. Right.
So this idea that as long as I'm on the winning side is everybody wins and I get to be on top. I get to be a part of this much like people that went along to go along with the Nazis.
Right. So stuff like this is like when people show up to when they get involved in something like this, they believe that maybe just maybe if we flip the entire system, we become lords on the other side, mostly because they don't want to pay tax bills.
They want to pay parking fees and they don't want to deal with marriage licenses, which is bizarre. No, it's more than just bizarre.
It's criminal. And it's completely utterly...
It's just, you are a fucking moron. Now, if you go to mkchristopher.com, you can go and see the actual website that you can go and get, quote-unquote, business consultation.
As you can see, when you look at this website, it is filled with quantum grammar. So you've got the colon Mark dash Kishon colon Christopher dash global chief dash federal postal court dash judge.
And with a colon, all of this fake shit, because it says it releases you from any form of judicial coverage or register like anything. And so right here, says, start here to eliminate your domestic and commercial mortgages and debts.
The process on my part is done through showing engineered fraud on your documents, agreements, and contracts. These guys believe that they have this ability to show these, like, essentially loopholes to various government bodies, and they're going to be like, oh, my God, you're right.

I can't make you pay your mortgage anymore.

Yeah.

Oh, you're right.

That legal fee doesn't hold for you anymore.

Now, they went after a coroner.

Do coroner, I mean, excuse me. Nothing to do with anything.

It has nothing to do with anything.

No, they just fixated on somebody that they could get at.

And so when they arrived.

But is that coroner in Britain the same as a coroner in America? Do they like steady bodies and shit? I'm not quite certain, to be honest. I'm not quite certain.
It all was very... The whole thing is just like extremely confusing.
And it's just them... I think that's what they live on, is being confusing.
Yes. This is how they get away with shit for so long.
Because they're just saying random things. Because you just want them out of your face.
Yes. And because the guy that was in charge, Mark Christopher, he went by the title of Chief Judge of England and All Dominions.
They went in there... But if you don't believe in government, you can't have that title.
But he's taking it upon himself. Okay.
He says that he received... This was an earlier trial.
He said that the group came to an area coroner. So this was a part of a legal thing, right? They said they were going to come and they were going to arrest this person.
They had zip ties on them and they had a car. They were literally going to arrest him and bring him someplace and beat this person to death.
Michelle Brown, who'd been conducting inquests from paperwork and without witnesses or family present, told an earlier trial that the group had come into her courtroom. He said that the leader, Christopher, kept demanding that I find and get her boss, right? Like that was the idea of like going in there and essentially saying, describe the emails.
He claimed the warrants were to be for seizure of goods and persons. And it doesn't really make sense.
And that they've kind of randomly chose him and have been stalking this man. And then they finally came to essentially murder him.
And they are, they are all, they jailed all four. They're all like immediately in jail.
But it was all, it wasn't actual murder. They didn't actually kill anybody.
No, not yet. No, they tried.
In the UK, they can do stuff like that. In the UK, they also do stuff like, there was a story, I want to say it was also in Canada, they can also do that, where they can get you pretty hardcore for just showing significant planning.
Where you don't have to, it's not like kind of like in America where it is difficult, like someone really, like let's say someone's threatening you with murder, that you really can't do anything about it until they murder you. But then you can do something about it.
Yeah. So they wanted to arrest this man because they said he was involved in necromancy.
Yes. They said that it was important that he was using the dead for improper rituals for the U.S.
government. For the U.K.
government. U.K.
government. Yeah.
And this guy, he's obviously very scared. Oh, he said he ruined his his life he had to go to he had to go to the therapy he had to leave he doesn't know what to do anymore these guys have been hounding him in this like nonsense shit and the thing is too is that when you look at their depositions like if you look at their like when you click into these like document things of what you're supposed to do they are they are ridiculous they are fucking ridiculous.
They have this whole step-by-step walkthrough, create your own life-life claim, but live-life claim and certificate of live birth, this is all fake, it costs 333 pounds, and you call in, and this guy essentially teaches you how to scam the system the proper way. Yeah.
And looks like a crazy person wrote it like if you look at the fbc crazies like the fbc because it's all written in quantum grammar too so it looks even worse than it is so it looks like someone with schizophrenia wrote it yeah and it says uh how to join it's like for me to qualify the training suitability for you you must book a Zoom appointment with me before you can be part of my university. Email me to book a Zoom appointment.
And then he puts his email address. The investment for this life-changing training is 7,449 Great British Pounds.
Oh, yes. But if you don't believe in money.
They do believe in money. They just don't believe that the reason why it's confusing any is because it's essentially nonsense.

It is nonsense.

It's nonsense in the very, very bottom of it.

It's full on.

Like, that's kind of the thing where it's a little too easy for cult leaders to jump in.

It is a cult leader starter pack being a sovereign citizen.

And it's a little too easy because Mark Christopher, I think

that he didn't do enough work because

he has this whole thing with Seoul University

where it's all this quantum grammar

shit that he stole from the other guy

already covered. So he didn't even make this

system up. He stole this from David

Wynn Miller. It's just

all like...

But it's just like you bullshit

and you bullshit and you talk about

absolutely nothing and you change words and

punctuation... That's exactly what.
Until like. You kill somebody.
Yeah. No, no, that is the, this is why it's worthy to cover.
It's not worthy in and of itself. The story itself is extremely boring and stupid.
These morons showed up and tried to fake arrest somebody who had nothing to do with a fake crime in order to kill them. But the problem is that on some level, much like why we are covering Kruger's Dorp in so thick of detail, is because it's important to see that stupid shit that looks silly from the outside leads to murder sometimes.
It really does. And that you have to keep your head on a fucking swivel about what you allow into your brain and into your very, very soul.
You have to give your, you have to have a grain of salt about the things you read. I read a lot of crazy shit for this show.
I throw myself into a lot of crazy research for this show. But I know that I have a foot outside of the research because that's what allows me to see how fucking stupid it is.
You cannot 110% give in to any single ideology. Yeah, when it comes to learning about sovereign citizens, and I'm very impressed by how much you've actually retained, it makes me nauseous.
Every time I read into what they're saying, I get really mad. It's called a barrier to entry.
It's done on purpose. It's why Scientology is gibberish.
And that goes as far to the literally ancient schools. Like it was like listening to a guy named Gertrudev, who's like a teacher that I do enjoy.
But he talks about this idea that knowledge is a quantity and there's a limited amount of knowledge, which is why back in the old days, the quoteunquote the Egyptian secret schools, they took all of the secret, secret knowledge and they hid it behind a bunch of rituals and mishigash and all the stuff that was difficult to get through so that it would be this damaging information that the gods are not gods at all, but it's based upon our, the star movements, and that everything is attached to an understanding of the earth here on the here that we can touch tangible earth and we say these ridiculous stories about gods and allegories in order to teach people that are not ready to know that there is no gods it just seems like an excuse for why they're poor exactly that's why they're well it's more why they're rich yes it's the opposite it's why they're rich and you're poor because you can't be trusted with the resources do you think they celebrate christmas who sovereign citizens i actually think that they have to i think the day that they have to observe is president's day really i don't know no i think because technically it's not religious it just happens to have a religious side kicker. Yeah.
There's a lot of religiosity within it, but it's not inherently religious. Inherently, it's political.
It's more of a shithead militia versus a cult. Just get a driver's license.
They won't. They don't, they hate, they hate not getting DUIs, man.
They love DUIs. They love they love them they love driving drunk they love getting parking tickets and not paying them it's so hard for them that's their passion i mean i did that for a while and that's why i don't have a driver's license see but i respect my non-having driver's license no and you don't drive i drove your car recently that was different that's That's a long story.
It had to happen.

It had to happen.

He can't physically drive.

And I didn't allow it.

He stole my car.

I called the police.

You wanted to pick your dog up from the... I needed help.

You sat next to me in the car.

You were teaching me how to drive.

Yeah.

I was like, you're a learner's.

Yeah, I'm a learner's permit.

You had to drive because I have car me in my lap.

Officer, listen. He's my learner's permit.
I'm the driver. I have a dog.
All right? But just so you know, guys, before you fall into any of these slippery slopes, this is a big thing I just want to say, too. Maybe we can even take a little break here, right? Let's say you're a sensitive person.
Okay. Step away from the podcast for a second.
I'm talking to my little boys here. Hello.
I'm talking to my young boys. How you doing, Henry? I'm talking to my Gen Z.
If there are any broccoli heads that are listening, all right? Oh, I shaved the side of my head for you. I know.
It's cool, isn't it? Wow, cool. That's so lit.
I got face tattoos. Wow, you must be so sensitive and poetic.
I got a teardrop next to my butt. That means you murdered somebody in prison.
No, but next to my butt. It's for all the dookies I've slain.
Well, you're huge. Thank you.
You're a huge boy. I stay big.
We just got to just remember that. How do I gently say pull your fucking head out of your ass and read some books? You know, and just read something outside of your little sphere you got to get in there.
Okay? I mean it. I'm 40.
I was an edgler too. Oh, yeah.
Very much so. I still am.
Yeah. Technically.
I'm angry. Yeah.
I won't say the Starbucks branded content. Your hat says eat ass.
Just remember, we're all in this boat together. We're gonna have to make it through no matter what, until that solar flare hits, and then I never have to hear from any one

of you ever again.

We'll keep doing radio.

Oh, we will, but it'll be by ourselves.

It'll be in this room, and then people will be invited to the small room.

Oh, my God.

What else happened this week, man?

I don't know.

They found a head in Edinburgh.

They thought it was a decoration, which is pretty hilarious. The guy got his head popped off from by a bus.
Yeah. It's very sad, but also like at 74.
Edinburgh is like that. Yeah, I mean, that's a good way to go at 74.
Good way to go at 74. If I made somebody laugh with my death.
Yeah. If I get that far and I'm like going to die within a year or two anyway, pop my head off in public.
Yeah, it's your, oh man. God, I would love to scare the shit out of a whole elementary school.
Except that would say 84 would be the number. It's a severed head! Oh my God.
Joe Biden, you look great. He's not running.
I'm allowed to say whatever the fuck. Yes, I miss you, Joey.
We all miss Joe Biden. Can't believe he died six weeks ago.
Guys, we're at the end of our episode today. I got one letter.
Oh, yeah. Which one is it? S, you fucking asshole.
I just think that this one might be stupid. This one might be stupid.
All right, but let me see. Yeah, it's a UFO one so you gotta read it Whether it's stupid or not We can make fun of it if it sucks Alright here we go I have a story for this show about a UFO sighting For when I was a child In March of 1998 my family Mom, dad, older brother, and younger sister, and I were visiting my

grandparents in Lake Placid, Florida for my grandfather's birthday.

On our way home that evening, we saw something that has stuck with me ever since.

As we were traveling north towards Orlando, my father, who was driving, saw something

directly to our left and pointed it out to us. Above the lake, quite high in the sky, was a bright yellow light.
The light moved very slowly through the sky, flying parallel to us. All of a sudden, another light appeared nearby the first.
And then another, until there were a total of seven of these lights. These lights appeared to be connected to one another and not independent craft.
I distinctly remembered being very upset that the family camcorder battery was dead, and I couldn't get the proof. These lights stayed in the sky for almost an hour, traveling silently parallel to our car.
They eventually turned towards us and silently flew over our car, and that was the end of our sighting. The formation or flying pattern of these lights was quite like the Phoenix lights, and years later when I learned of that incident, I was shook to my core.
I believe I saw the same phenomena. At the time, my father and mother were just as confused and scared as us kids were.
My father still has no explanation for what we saw, nor does my mother. Cut to today, when I asked about the scariest moment of my life, and I remembered this incident, it was just then that I realized I haven't spoken to my parents about what we saw since 1998.
So I decided to phone them up. My father distinctly remembers the incident, but is skeptical.
It was probably some military super secret technology. My mother, on the other hand, straight up called it a UFO and that whatever it was, it wasn't any conventional aircraft that we were aware of.
Then she dropped the bombshell on me. It was in the news, you know, I searched and searched, but no combination of words would get me a proper hit until I get a very, very specific.
I found a link to a sighting recorded on 324, 1998, my grandfather's birthday. And while the report doesn't exactly describe what we saw, it's very similar.
A couple were on their way home and saw two orange lights that appeared to blink in and out at will, appearing in different parts of the sky as if they instantly teleported. It's been on my mind all day, and it's the first time I've ever really been convinced that we saw something that night, and not the overactive imagination of a child.
Run rampant over two and a half decades. You know, I really do think that the corroborating sighting is interesting because we've talked about this many times in group sightings where one half will see something different than what the other half will see and they're all there at the same time watching something.
Yeah. Like most notably when we just covered the aerial school and that phenomenon where you had some kids seeing one thing and some kids seeing teachers seeing something, but they all saw something at the same exact time.
And so I think it's very interesting. But also don't you over time, like if you like talk about something after two decades, it changes in your mind.
Maybe. I don't know.
Depends on the memory. I think that sometimes it's either you either add to the memory or is the memory becomes so locked in because you've thought about it over and over and over again.
But we never know. Yeah.
All of history is a memory, Eddie. So what's up with the Phoenix Lights? The Phoenix Lights were the Phoenix Lights.
I know, but what did they look like? They look like a triangle, like essentially like a flying V over Phoenix. It's the largest UFO sighting of all time.
Because I know it's going to be a major part of the new george knapp documentary yes i'm very excited to get into more detail about this but then uh the uh the i believe it was the governor of arizona came out and made funny made a bunch of fun of it the next day saying that we've caught the culprit from the incident last night and a gray a guy in a gray costume came out and he arrested him on live television and everyone laughed and shit. But then later on, oh yeah, Fife Symington, the governor of Arizona, he then came forward later on and said he actually did this as a way to feel better because he saw the lights himself and could not get any formal explanation as to what they were.
And he went to the highest levels that he could get to as governor and he could get no explanation as to what they were. It's a pretty awesome alien costume.
It is a great, it's a really, really good alien costume. They don't make them like they used to.
They certainly don't. They don't.
But yeah, I mean, just keep looking towards the sky. Live every day knowing that your eyeballs are your telescopes.
I love every day knowing that your balls can be your suit cushions. And you can laugh just thinking about the fact that.
Then what's the rest of you? I don't know. Just a big old tush.
Yep. Well, thank you, President Jill Stein.
Yeah, it's President Jill Stein. That you've done for us.
I want to say thank you for naming it National Podcasters Day. It's been so good getting the flowers and the money that I've been getting all day.
Thank you for the free crystals for Marianne Williamson. I'm going to go celebrate my Green Party membership tonight.
Yes, absolutely. Me too as well.
My own membership of my own party, you'll see. And, you know, just get out there.
I think that today I just want to make sure to remind you, get out there and vote. Yes.
Because I know that... It's never too late.
It's never too late. I want you to get to...
It's Wednesday. If you're still in line, stay in line.
They have to let you vote. Yes, stay in line.
That's right. All right.
And if the machines are broken, ask for paper. Yes.
And I think if you leave your left shoe, you vote for Kamala, And if you leave your right shoe, you vote for Trump. And they test it by smell.
Also know that if you ball up your ballot and you throw it through a window and it makes it into a trash can, technically that counts. Yeah, but for LeBron James.
Yes. LeBron James.
Bring Bronny James. Make him a starter.
Vice President. Bronny James.
God, that would be amazing. Patreon.com, slash podcast on the left.
Pay us money and watch us perform. You're going to like it.
Go to at LP on the left for all of the social medias. Yes.
That we're part of. Humboldt.
We're coming for you, baby. Yeah, baby.
November 23rd. Henry and I are going to be up there with Billy Wayne Davis at the Mateel Community Center.
We're going to have fun. Yeah.
We're going to have a lot of fun. I'm very, very excited.
We're going to be stoned as hell. Yeah, we're going to see some fucking Redwoods.
And then December 21st, we're going to be doing Classy Night Out here. At the Masonic, baby! Yeah, tickets, if they're not on sale yet, will be on sale very soon.
It's a small venue, so make sure you rush to get your tickets. It's going to be a lot of fun.
We got Jackie Zabrowski

is going to be on the show. We're going to have so much fun

and a bunch of special guests, too, which I'm really excited about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you guys

so much. Be good to yourselves.
Be good to

each other. Yes.
Remember,

again, unfortunately, we are all

in this hot air balloon together

that is suspended by flames

alone. Yeah.
So just

remember that. Hail Satan.
I don Yeah. So just remember that.

Hail Satan.

I don't feel like hailing it. Happy hunting.

Oh, yes.

Hail Jill Stein.

Hail Jill Stein.

Thank you for all you've done for this fucking place.

Seriously.

Thank you.

Thank you for your sacrifice.

God, I love you.

I want to see the inside of you.

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