Side Stories: Annabelle Strikes Back

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Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes.

One,

two,

three,

four,

five, five.

Just so you know, we're supposed to wait

28 seconds

before we can begin saying naughty things

at the very top of the show.

14.

Because it's hurting our ability

to, I guess, sell pampers.

16.

I guess we're selling pampers soon.

20.

Have you had one?

I love my podcasting active diaper that I wear.

Because normally what it allows me to do is just

feel confident knowing.

Okay, great.

We did it.

We did it.

No, we did it.

28 seconds.

It's still really close.

No, man, 28 seconds.

Just make sure you add a little bit of silence in there, and then that'll add it up to 28 seconds.

And that's going to keep us from getting constantly.

I'm just going to harass from all angles.

Yeah.

We're going to harass from all angles.

We're getting cracked in our cracks over this.

Yeah, I'm getting cracked to my crack.

I'm getting cracked in my ass.

I'm like,

we're actually going to have to bleep off the crack.

God damn it.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh,

that's the only thing that's a problem.

They said that's the one word.

One word?

It's the one word.

They said save it for what you need.

They just said really that word.

I think I can step in.

Well, me neither.

In the UK, it means friend.

Yeah, how you doing?

Yo, see?

You old bag?

Yes,

whatever.

Well,

welcome to Side Stories.

So much worse.

So much worse.

We just made it, we made it all worse.

We made it all worse.

Hi, I'm Henry Zabrowski.

I'm Ed Larson, and I got clips.

All we have to do is bleep out out the

I want to bleep out that one too.

I got it.

I got it.

All right, we're just going to get all those.

We're going to knock all those out.

By the way, we were saying the C word.

For those of you,

just know that I'm not just dropping slurs.

And that's what you had to bleep out.

I love broadcasting.

Yeah, yeah.

Made for radio.

Hey, that's what my mom said.

Watch your ass, Cumulus.

Oh, God.

That a stupid cloud.

Guys, I want to say thank you to everybody that gave money and gave a donation to Convoy of Hope that went and delivered supplies to those affected by the Texas floods.

And those of you that did it in the name of Jeffrey Epstein, so far, we have...

We're close to 20 donations.

Yes.

In the name of Jeffrey Epstein.

No one said anything.

Convoy of Hope is sending people Bibles,

which

is amazing.

Nothing makes me happier, But now this is over.

So we have to end this.

We have to end it.

You all are hilarious.

Thank you.

But I now need, for those of you that sent in this description, I need you to re-email us with where we can send you your shirt.

Your shirt and tell us your size.

And we'll do our best because we're just using the shirts that we have in the suit.

We're going to get you a shirt.

Yeah.

So if you're a medium.

It might even be a shirt from my home that used to be on my body.

Yeah.

Yeah.

yeah if you're a medium and you are closer to a large let us know that if you're medium and closest to a small let us know that just say small or say large i'm not here we're not here bandying about size well i'm saying well we're almost out of mediums so if they want a medium you know they have to they have to say that all right i am a medium but i'm closer to a large or if you don't have a medium give me that small go for the large go for the large never look for small unless plenty of 3x

they're not looking for a night shirt seriously anybody's looking to like wrap up a bunch of loose body parts?

If anybody has a bunch of old fish that they need to wrap up in a bunch of old, old shirts, then we're going to send them directly to you.

So go to side stories, L-P-O-L at gmail.com.

Please

follow up the receipt email.

We're going to send it.

Oh, we're sending it.

We're sending it.

It's coming.

You know, we got a whole bunch of the Eddie's Deli shirts, but they only sent us huge ones.

I think they, everyone thinks I'm so much fatter than I am.

Well, you were.

I was, but that, like when they made the shirt, this is like a new shirt.

Well, you're just a big guy.

Yeah.

You were way bigger.

I sound fat.

You do.

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I got to get this ham out of my throat.

Yeah, that's a triple XL.

Yes, triple XL, but I'm actually just a regular XL.

You are.

Because also, but you've taken very good care of yourself.

We'll see what happens.

Well, thank you guys who came out in Salt Lake City.

Yes.

We had such a blast this weekend.

What a great place.

Both shows were amazing.

Super weird place.

Natalie got really upset.

She went to go look at all the,

we did a little bit of mormon she chose tourism yes yes we spent an extra day in salt lake city just to make my wife upset yeah but that's called vacation usually you can do that at home yes normally normally that's normally where i keep it you know why because it's free i can get upset in there for free but no it was just because of all the crimes of the lds church that we were watching and then i was doing my funny kind of semi-sarcastic like you know you know because right next to temple square they used to have a park where people could go and instead what they realized is that it was getting jammed up with all of these like people wanting handouts or free food and all this stuff.

Like they were some kind of because they know about all the money that the Mormons are

like there's some kind of helpful religion or whatever.

And so what they did instead was that they turned that whole area into a luxury mall.

Like they just made it into a gigantic stone-bound outdoor fancy mall that had giant gates that went up on the Sunday because it's fully private property.

And it allows them to not only make money because they are obviously a capitalistic endeavor, the Mormons, and they also allow to get the, they don't, they can then move the homeless to the far out stretches near the base of the mountain.

Yes.

And then Natalie and I walk through a homeless encampment and they're crispy.

They're crispy out there.

No, they are.

They are.

But yeah, the temple.

Now, crispy as in like sunburn or just like angry.

Both.

And as they should be.

And everybody going in and out of the temple square is watching you.

A lot of little Mormon families.

And so we went and walked through.

But Natalie did appreciate my understanding of, like, yeah, of course this makes sense.

This is what the Mormon church does.

Is this where I bought my elder outfit?

Yep.

Oh, that was not a bad mall.

No, it sided me.

Very fancy.

But we'll never know.

Why do the Mormons buy a Lululemon if they hate ass?

Yeah.

What is your problem?

I don't know.

Yeah, you never know.

Hey, yeah, I guess it's money.

I guess they just like money and they don't care what

slides of people's cracks.

So,

SLC, you never disappoint.

The wise guys was great.

Wise guys was great.

We got some other ones.

Come see us on September 21st in Kansas City, October 24th, Redway, California, and November 30th in Columbus, Ohio.

We got some side story shows for you fucks.

We're going to have a really good time.

Now, guys,

okay, so we spent a lot of time on the road.

And Eddie and I, we actually had a wonderful pool hang.

with Joe Perra and Carmen Christopher, where we got to see each other's bodies and talk each individually about how we're afraid of dying on the road.

Yeah.

Because it's one of those,

it's like a comedian nightmare after Bob Saget, you know, his tragic accident, all these types of things.

If you saw the photograph, Joe didn't have his shirt off, but he did have his shirt off in the pool.

Henry and I got to see Joe Parra's shirtless body.

And he's trying to grow chest hair.

Yeah, he's doing his best.

Which I really appreciate because, but last time he was as literally as slick as an eel.

How do you think that happens?

What do you mean?

How do you get hair later in life?

Becoming a man.

Yeah.

Going through stuff.

He was always a man, baby.

You got to go through some stuff.

Yeah.

Hey, go out there.

He's probably had to punch a mailman.

I'm sure he has.

He probably had to yell at a plane leaving an airport.

You ever had to do that?

Yell at a plane?

Fuck you!

You're not coming back here.

Like, you know, you had to do some man stuff.

I usually yell at the bank.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's my favorite place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do something like that.

That allows chest hair to sprout.

So anybody out there looking to become more masculine, go yell at

an institution.

The key is to get thrown out of a government building.

That's how you start to develop even more masculine traits.

It's gender affirming.

But this is not any tour that we're about to talk about.

God, yes.

This is one of the bigger stories that we have continued to follow.

And honestly,

I'm saying this to y'all.

We

are not even asking for this.

Yeah, this is crazy.

This is one of those where people keep saying, why do you keep bringing up Annabelle the doll?

Even after the Ed and Lorraine Warren series, we all know that they're full of shit.

Everybody's talking, everybody's,

you know, like, well, let's not talk about the haunted properties of Annabelle the doll.

Let's take a look at it.

So,

Annabelle the Doll has been on tour.

Right, so far.

She did the weekend in Gettysburg.

She did.

She went to Gettysburg, everybody's favorite summer location.

Nothing I love better than sitting sitting with my family on the fields of Gettysburg with several Coney Island dogs, some hot coffee, couple of packs of cigarettes, watching my daughter grow up, smoking them, eating a hot dog around me, and just imagining what it was like to watch all those men die, right?

You know, I love being at Gettysburg.

So, but this is a, this was not a fun time at Gettysburg for this gentleman.

So, Annabelle, as you know, has been on on tour and she's been causing a lot of shit.

Annabelle burnt down a plantation.

Annabelle freed prisoners from a New Orleans jail.

Now we already know this and then we know Annabelle went missing.

She also went to San Antonio, which got crazy floods.

Crazy floods.

So Dan Rivera, who was the lead investigator for the New England Society for Psychic Research, Nesper, he's a U.S.

Army veteran.

Now, he's essentially Annabelle's tour manager.

Yeah.

He is taking her around on this new new tour, the Devil's on the Run tour.

Amazing idea.

Now, everybody kept saying, hey, why are we taking this supposedly highly deadly haunted doll out of its protective casing and putting it on the road?

And I'll tell you why, Eddie, do you know why?

Because it sells tickets.

Yeah.

Damn it.

Give me some more money.

Yeah.

So that's why they wanted to do it, but they didn't think about it.

You know what they always say?

Oh, you only thought about it if you could.

But nobody ever thought about if you should.

Whoa.

So, you know, in the end, they knew they were leaving money on the table.

We got to get Annabelle out of retirement.

This is what they've done to Elton John several times.

Yeah.

And they find...

He's also a haunted doll.

He's a haunted.

He is a.

If a human was an evil jack-in-the-box, it's Elton John.

Love him to death.

Love him to death.

I saw him live.

He was fantastic.

The whole crowd applauded when they found out he could stand up off the chair.

So this is, so Annabelle has been on tour.

Dan Rivera, remember, this was several weeks ago.

Annabelle went missing.

Yes, we accused Dan Rivera of lying.

Correctly.

And we said that he was faking a video or showed an old video because we thought Annabelle was missing.

We heard Annabelle was missing.

But you know what he didn't do?

Anything to assuage my feelings?

Yeah, he didn't respond to you, Henry.

No, no.

No, to none of us, though.

To none of us.

All he said was the words, it's not a cover-up, stop talking about Annabelle.

Did you see him on Trude Social?

He just said, stop talking about Annabelle, right?

And we're like, why are you doing this?

Someone's protesting too much.

Yeah.

But then,

what really happens to anybody that harbors the devil?

Oh, they could burn themselves.

So, Dan Rivera, Annabelle's tour manager, I guess he finally got her together, brought her to Gettysburg, her favorite place.

First thing that happens, Annabelle arrives in town for the tour.

The 911 service for all of Gettysburg goes out.

I mean, who's really, what's really happening there?

And it's Pennsylvania.

I mean, it's, to be honest, I feel like it's a hotbed for other activity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

I feel like that there's like a new version of those, the blue guys that are there.

Oh, the new, the new unions there?

The new Confederates are there.

Oh, they're the grays.

They're the same.

They're white.

They're white.

Pretty much everyone was white.

But they went, so that's what's bubbling there.

So, first of all, that happened.

Dan Rivera had to come out and say, Annabelle did not.

He's been, again, fighting all of this.

He's been saying, Annabelle did not set a plantation on fire.

And he was trying to joke about it, but you could tell he was kind of defensive.

He also said that she did not set those prisoners free, which we know for a fact that she did because she's

Antifa.

Yeah.

Then she shut down the 911 calls.

Dan Rivera.

Antifa.

Yes.

Thank you.

Then Dan Rivera says, hey,

Annabelle definitely didn't shut down the 911 calling services here in Gettysburg, Virginia.

Sure, likely story.

What changed that day?

What was different that day besides the failing infrastructure of the country?

Annabelle was in town.

Yes.

Right?

She was in Gettysburg.

She was in Gettysburg.

And then what happens?

They do the tour.

They do that show that night.

You know what I mean?

Sold out for the weekend.

Sold out.

Like they said, so it was like 1,300 tickets.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

That's huge.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

I wish we had those numbers in Gettysburg.

We got to go there.

We got to do live at Gettysburg.

I think this is actually a great idea.

We're going to do it on the field.

Only if we could bring Annabelle.

Which one of us is Confederate?

Which one of us is Union?

I mean,

we have to reenact it.

Oh, boy.

Is this bad?

I guess.

This is trouble.

Well, Marcus is...

Exactly.

Yeah,

his family is

in the past.

Yeah, he's the one that all the audience likes more.

Yeah, and

I'm from Florida, but my family's Jersey.

Florida was Cuba by that point.

It was like it was Spain.

Yeah, well, there was some fighting down there.

Marcus is the Confederate.

So Dan's

gonna love this.

He's gonna love when this is isolated.

It sets it.

So they did the show.

Obviously, they had the meet and greet.

Annabelle's out there looking for Strange.

You know, she's single.

She's the first time she's on tour.

So God knows what she got herself into.

Dan Rivera goes back probably to the residence in where he was working at.

I don't know where they found him dead.

I believe they found him at his hotel.

But yeah, I'm going to blow the lead on there.

Yeah, Dan Rivera died mysteriously in the night, the day after they had already gotten a town into Gettysburg.

Now,

we don't know the cause of death yet.

I think I know what it is.

Yeah.

Doll.

Doll, yeah, definitely doll.

Yeah.

Heart stopped by doll.

Heart stopped by doll.

Like they're going to, they're digging into an autopsy right now.

They said the autopsy could take several months.

But he died

in this hotel.

It doesn't look like there's any nice hotels by Gettysburg, unfortunately.

So it might not have been a good place where he died.

What's the nicest hotel by Gettysburg?

Well, they got the Inn at Lincoln Square.

Oh, that seems nice.

It looks expensive more than it's nice.

I wonder if he's there.

The Union Hotel, so that's where the winners stay.

Yeah.

As they should.

Yeah.

They don't have a Confederate hotel, do they?

I think the rest of them are Confederate.

Or is it just the homes?

The Dobbin house, maybe?

Oh, the Gaslight Inn.

They tell you it's Union,

but it's Confederate.

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now this is the gettysburg leg this was hosted by ghostly images of gettin' tours at the soldiers national orphanage Great venue.

Yes.

Nothing I love better than performing at an old vacated orphanage.

So now that we got all these dead soldiers, what are we going to do with their children?

I say we put them to work in a soulless, empty building.

Amazing.

We'll bring a doll here 160 years later to kill a man.

I hope it does.

So Dan and Rivera, Dan Rivera, they went to the...

So can you even imagine that you spend your afternoon in Gettysburg?

Where do you have dinner at the orphanage?

So did he died at the hotel or did he die in front of Annabelle?

No, he died at the hotel.

Did he?

Where was Annabelle?

In the other queen bed.

Yeah, I was guessing.

He definitely, it's not like she's sitting in the car.

Annabelle's in that fucking room.

You don't think they left her at the orphanage?

She probably loves it there.

Oh, yeah, but I think that's the problem.

She likes it too much.

Yeah.

And then she can't, she's going to get canceled.

Yeah, because Annabelle is what?

She's a six-year-old girl, right?

No, it's a 90-year-old pedophile man inside of her.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, you've heard the character I do.

Yeah, you've heard the character you do, but I thought it was a little girl.

I think that's like a mixture with the Enfield Poltergeists as well.

It's the same.

It's a bit of both.

I thought that the character from The Conjuring was the old ghost, the old man ghost.

That's conjuring too.

That's conjuring too.

It says here in the New York Post, the psychic medium claimed the doll was inhabited by the spirit of a dead six-year-old girl called Annabelle.

And the Warrens said it was demonically possessed and moved the doll to the museum in Connecticut.

See, the doll's going to say anything that you want to hear.

Okay.

The doll doesn't, it's not.

It has no agency.

The doll is going to say, of course, the ghost and the demon inside of it.

It's going to be like, oh, I'm just a six-year-old little girl.

I wouldn't do anything wrong.

And, you know, guess what they're really doing, man?

They're baiting kids.

Yeah.

They're baiting.

All right.

And so, Dan Rivera died in the fucking unceremoniously.

Won't name the hotel.

We're just going to choose one.

Yeah.

Choose one, Eddie.

Oh, I still think, I mean, I just deleted my fucking page about hotels in Gettysburg.

But I do love it.

You should have called it the gaslight in.

We'll say it's the gaslight.

I just think it's amazing.

It could be alive.

But, you know, also, but I do want to give

like

an honest, heartfelt, I'm sorry, to the family of Dan Rivera.

I think you should apologize for calling him a liar.

No,

I will.

Because there's no proof that he wasn't lying.

I mean, the fact that Annabelle was in Gettysburg.

But I think it's, I think she was missing for a period of time.

You think she was missing and he got her back?

Yes, I think that he probably left her on a bus.

And I think that they were, I think it was, I don't think Annabelle necessarily left on her own.

cognizance.

I think that technically he might have left her in a new bird.

Well, they did recently build her a new display.

Oh, I know.

She's got her mobile display.

And so now.

She's like John Paul II.

With her new display, they said that they used holy water and stuff like that mixed with the paint.

Stan Rivera himself said that when he was in the company of Annabelle, he was wearing three different crucifixes and one was stained with a stain that included holy water in the stain.

It didn't work.

No, it didn't work at all.

Because you know what also it didn't help against?

High cholesterol.

Oh, yeah, that might be the problem.

The food in Gettysburg.

I'm guessing it's all burgers.

I can't imagine.

I feel like now they probably have like one vegan place.

There's more and more embracing of that side of things.

But I think it's mostly French fries.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, you know, it's sad.

But I feel for Dan Rivera's family, but he was taking, he knew what he was getting himself involved in.

Yeah, I mean, well, he works for Annabelle.

If he used to, anyway.

Listen, if you're like, I'm trying to think, who's a dangerous musician?

Van Morrison.

If you're Van Morrison's tour manager, you know, you got to watch your shins because Van Morrison likes to kick.

He's a kicker.

He likes to kick.

He's a kicker.

He's a drinker.

He's a kicker.

He's a spitter, too.

He is icky.

He is literally a kicker and a spitter.

He'll slap you.

He'll bite you alpaca.

Yeah.

No, he's intense.

It's like being with a herd dog.

You know, like he's intense.

So when you are tour managing Van Morrison, you know, wear thicker pants.

You're going to hang out.

You're going to need to keep your head on a swoof.

You're going to keep him liquored liquored up, right?

Yeah.

Dan Rivera should have been kind of maybe more dialed in about what were Annabelle's needs.

Yeah.

Because now where's Annabelle?

She's just sitting in Danny'sburgh.

Now,

I want to know.

Is she just at the orphanage?

Apparently, she was in the hotel room while he was dead.

This is what I'm saying.

She's in the other queen bed.

She was just sitting there.

If I was the cops, I would have shot it three times.

You might as well.

Dude, if I was the fucking guy, yo, yeah.

you walk into a room you see a dead paranormal investigator half laying out of the bed with the foam in his mouth and you look and you see annabelle perched up on the cock chair of the hotel room yeah and you mean to tell me you're not putting two in her fucking head

you fucking shoot her in the goddamn head or you rip her open looking for fentanyl

because it's quite possibly he might got some of that Gettysburg toot.

And I have no idea if that Gettysburg toot is clean.

No, no, it's certainly not.

So,

still scheduled is Annabelle coming to Maine in September.

With who?

With Tony Spurra?

Oh, Tony Sparrah's coming out?

Tony Sparrah, yeah.

Tony Sparrah is.

Oh, Tony Sparrah's coming out.

I think he was in,

I believe he was there too.

He is the, I believe, yes, he's the paranormal reacher.

He's the son-in-law of Lorraine and Edward Lauren Lauren Warren.

I think we still remember him.

Chris Gallorin and Wade Kirby also be there.

Dan Rivera has not been taken off the poster yet.

You need to do that, guys.

You need to make that move.

It's still fresh.

I don't think their internet works too well.

So right now,

also, Annabelle's going to be in Lexington, Kentucky

for Scare Fest.

Stop plugging her.

Stop plugging her in.

No, we got to know.

Let's stop.

People are dying here.

Okay.

Dan Rivera was her road manager, her opener, her friend, her travel manager, okay?

And Annabelle fucking put, just killed him.

Tony Sparrow is next.

Is this weird that I want to see Annabelle more now?

Of course.

No, no, it's not weird at all.

Would you go see Annabelle?

Yeah.

Yeah, right?

Of course.

But do you think we've talked so much shit at this point?

No, I'm...

No, I have much respect.

But I don't.

I mean, in terms of like, I know she's a killer and I like, and I get that.

Yeah.

But she belongs in her prison.

Do you think it was because he took her out of the box and brought her to the hotel room?

That's where she killed him?

The only thing that...

I mean, a lot of people have been getting on me for this style of content before, but I think the only thing that could have maybe happened is, and I don't want to speak ill of the dead,

but hopefully he didn't make a move on Annabelle.

Ooh, yeah.

Because maybe that's kind of what, because I bet you on some level, he's like, yeah, sure.

She's a six-year-old ghost.

But that ghost was made like 90 years ago.

Well, do you think the dress is sewn on?

Do you think it unzips?

Well, I don't know.

No.

No.

You don't think it unzips?

I don't like that idea.

I don't like that idea.

Yeah.

But I could see Annabelle getting revenge.

Yeah, one thing I do know about Annabelle, she's on the rag.

You fucking.

You know what I'm saying?

Because she's raggedy Annabelle.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting.

Unbelievable.

She's too young for a period.

I mean, you know, why does she have

all the rags?

If she's having her period at six, that's bad.

That's problems.

There's stuff in the milk.

There's too many hormones in the milk.

I get what RFK Jr.

is saying.

You're not able to believe this girl's having to have it.

I have to have periods at the age of three.

There's periods everywhere.

Everywhere I go.

Every maturity school, I go to each every one of those elementary schools, and I just check all the little girls for periods.

That's the end of that story.

No, I mean, I'm not.

No, no, I mean.

No, it's not.

She's going to kill Tony Sparra next.

There is no way that Tony Sparra is going to...

Dan Rivera looked like Timothy Chamolay next to Tony Sparra.

You know what I mean?

Like Dan Rivera looked like he was filled with life.

Tony Sparrah looks like shit.

Tony Sparra is not going to eat good enough to live on the road.

Do you think that there's a chance that Tony Sparrah knows

that Annabelle needs to kill to stay popular?

Maybe he feeds her deaths.

Do you think that maybe

pillow

over Rivera's face by Tony Sparra to make Annabelle look more evil?

And you're framing Annabelle.

Tony Sparra, side stories L POTL and gmail.com.

You have one chance to exonerate yourself before I assume that you're killing your own investigators for PR purposes.

Yes.

There's no evidence.

There's no evidence there to say that that's what happened.

There's no evidence to say that it isn't.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Except for the fact we do, yes.

The cause of death has not been revealed yet.

No, because I mean, we will, we'll find out what it is.

I, I'm just

chili fries.

I'm hoping it's just a normal heart attack and that this won't be worse news for everybody involved.

You know what I mean?

I hope it's just a normal, good old-fashioned heart attack.

54 years old.

That's fucked up.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying, wondering whether or not he got that Gettysburg toot.

There's Tony Sparrow.

Tony Sparrow looked like shit 40 years ago.

No, he really did.

There is no way he is going to last two days with Annabelle on tour.

It's like being with Vince Neal.

He dyes his beard red?

Yeah.

Looks like, what is that?

He says, no, Eddie, he's as young as he's ever been.

Look at him.

No.

He's in Gettysburg.

This is in Gettysburg?

Yes.

The last time he was in Gettysburg?

This was Roses.

They published an article about the Gettysburg visit right before

man died.

What is Tony Sparrow doing with all the bracelets?

Why does he have so much jewelry on?

I mean, it's all kind of, it's got to have, you know, holy water in it or something.

Yeah,

sure, definitely.

And something for section on that.

Well, just go, just honestly.

She's said she will spare his life.

I hope not.

Because we need more to talk about.

Man, it is crazy.

I can't believe.

So Annabelle is just killing.

This has just been the longest Annabelle run I have heard.

It doesn't stop.

It's not stopping.

Tony Sparrow is next.

He has to be.

You know what's next?

After that?

What?

Washington, D.C.

Whoa.

Annabelle.

Tours the White House?

White House Challenge.

Whoa.

I mean, he does like young redheads.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he does.

You know, hey, pop a blonde wig on her.

She might have a shot.

All right, so let's get on to this next story.

Casey Anthony's got a bob.

Yeah, she got it.

She got a small haircut.

All right, that's really as far as I'm going to go.

It is.

Yeah, she looks like shit.

Someone put a bunch.

She's a show in her neck.

I guess it's where it's like, this is where you should choke me to death.

I will quickly say this.

So we said, so we, people sent this article to us.

It's literally page seven mixed with our lives here, where it's, it's a pap, it's a paparazzi picture of Casey Anthony on a date in New Hampshire.

To be honest, it doesn't look like it's going well.

No.

The guy looks like he is tired and upset, and it looks like she's info dumping on him wherever they're at.

Now, now, most people are talking about her severe Bob, and I'm not going to join in on that, but I am going to say what Eddie and I realized, we had a little side discussion.

And this is, I'm going to say this without, like, I want to, how do I take,

take the misogyny off of it, right?

Let's take it off and just say, I believe her evil power is the fact that she's getting hotter.

It's not that it's just not just the fact that she's getting dummy thick and it's looking good.

It's the fact that some people, like most people that were under, that are under a certain amount of stress, right?

Casey Anthony, if you really thought if she had a soul, she would be under a certain amount of stress that would probably make her look worse, right?

In terms of stress hurts you.

Stress is a thing that even ages you can be hot.

I don't think she's stressed.

That's what I'm saying.

She has no conscious, so it's allowing her to thrive.

And so she is, you know, she's, she's, what's it, she's got that, she's got a kind of a glamazon thing going on.

Yeah, she's hanging out in

New Hampshire.

Oh, you know, everybody loves New Hampshire.

She's at a bar called Season Tickets, and she's not wearing a bra.

This just didn't.

But yeah, that's really as far as that goes.

I just mostly, we're all kind of keeping tabs in her.

She's already talked about doing some kind of OnlyFans comedy special.

She tried to be a victim advocate.

The audience didn't like it.

And so

she's still trying to figure it out, but she is definitely, she's going to be, I'm I'm going to say next, uh, next Trump's term, she's going to be in charge of the Department of Transportation.

Yeah, Secretary of Baby, what?

Children Defense.

Yeah, exactly.

Um, the, so this isn't her old boyfriend that we were talking about a couple weeks ago.

This is a new guy.

Whoa, she just destroyed that other guy's life and moved on.

Weird.

I guess so.

Yeah.

Whoa, that's kind of crazy.

No way.

Not Casey Anthony.

TMZ says this was a first date.

Oh, wow.

And that guy, that guy looks stressed.

Yeah.

Because you see, you know where the one eye's looking?

Right at that camera.

Yeah.

He's looking dead at the camera that is taking a picture of him and Casey Anthony on a date.

He looks very bored in this other picture.

She's looking at her.

She's showing her his phone.

She's just, oh, God.

What do you even ask her?

What's the date about?

Do you do you think that maybe like halfway through the date, he didn't know?

He just thought he was like on a Tinder date with this hot chick named Casey.

Oh, you know what?

I, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he just matched with the chick named Casey.

He probably's like, she looks familiar.

Yes, no, bro.

And then like, literally, like, because men, unfortunately, it's sometimes with, you know, cishet men, they think they don't sit, things don't sink in.

Yeah.

Right.

They don't full, they don't fully, you're not maybe fully asking questions.

Okay.

And so I think that that might, I'm going to give them the benefit of that.

They wanted to watch the Red Sox game.

So they're Red Sox fans.

Oh.

And

even worse.

They were sipping on Bud Lights, and Casey ordered a club sandwich, and he got a steak sub.

I know so much.

That's because the whole restaurant was fucking talking about it.

So weird.

I have, like, slowly but surely, as I get older, falling in love with TMZ.

And I wish it wasn't true.

I really, they are so evil.

I hate them.

But I'm just, I'm drawn to it.

I can't help myself.

Every time, like, every, I'm looking at today's stories.

Four, all four are TMZ.

Dude, TMZ is evil.

They broke the Dan Rivera story.

Yes, TMZ is evil, but they get the information.

They really do.

And so

we're not supporting them, but we are entertained by them.

Yes.

Wow.

Yeah.

That is a bad, it is a bad bob.

Now that I'm looking at it,

it's definitely.

I'm so bad, it looks like a frank.

Hello.

It is a, I not just want to talk to your manager, I'm going to kill your manager.

Carecut.

That is what that is.

Is your manager a little girl?

Let me take care of her for you.

But yeah, that's really the, that's the hot goss on Casey Anthony, and we cover it here.

Now, this other story that Eddie found is the single worst thing I've seen all

month.

Which one is this?

Is this a...

You made me look at this.

Oh, yeah, man.

This one's a great one.

And this one is, I don't like this story.

This This is

fucking really, really, really gross.

Don't call it a comeback.

I've been here for years, baby.

The screw worm is back.

That's right.

We're all getting fucked up by the screw worm, baby.

Yeah.

Back in the saddle again.

Back in the cow again.

So the screw worm is

a man-eating worm that has been turning Honduras into a goddamn nightmare.

This is so fucking awful.

So it's like this fly that can land on an open wound and it can shoot between 30 and 500 eggs.

300 to 500.

Oh my God.

And then you, they turn into these screw worms.

They're the black-headed centimeter long and they just slowly but surely screw into your body.

They burrow through you.

Until they get to your lungs and they get to your brain and they just find the way through your vessels and they're impossible to get out.

They have to do like surgical tweezers to find them.

There's this chick who she got, she was in the hospital in Honduras.

And usually they're just like dealing with people getting like fucking killed with machetes and shit because it's a really dangerous place.

And then this chick sin there and scaring all the nurses because she's got screw worms coming out of her nose.

She's every time she like blows her nose, a bunch of these fucking screw worms come out.

She's just screaming in pain.

I'm just going to hear, I'm going to even read this because it's like, I, so this is horror, it's horrific.

This guy, there's one picture in this article of a guy who got skin cancer and the screw worms jumped onto his skin cancer and just burrowing their way into his brain.

And it's like, it's bad, dude, it's bad.

And largely, it's because, um,

you know, we, I don't want to get even more political anymore this week, but it's like the idea that it's a, we funded a program for a while.

We killed the fuck out of these screw worms.

For 30 years, and they've just kind of decided to come back, right?

Because we decided to stop sending sterilized flies to go stop and create this sort of artificial barrier between these because normally these things affect cattle.

Yes.

And the illegal cattle trade, which I didn't know was a thing.

I did not know that cartels also sold illegal beef and that they did, they were also in the beef industry and in the oil industry.

Makes me like them a little more.

I mean, it's intense.

It's fucking crazy, dude.

Yeah.

But they said that the trafficked cattle, like all this like smuggled cattle, had the screw worm and now it's jumping from cattle to people.

Now, this is like, this is just horrible, right?

And it used to not attack people, but now it's in people.

That's the other thing that's really weird.

The screw worm used to leave people alone, but now it's fucking eating people.

Yes.

This happened to a young woman named Reina.

They said

the presence of worms were so far up the cavity,

without a swift response, they could have gnawed into Reyna's brain.

This is from Reina.

During the bus ride, some of the worms had ventured into my mouth.

I've been sneezing a lot, and every time, some come out.

Five-hour bus ride.

It's been two days now.

The pain in my head is so intense, it makes me wince.

I can feel them in my nose because it's so sensitive.

I can feel them moving.

I can sense them, like they are forcing their way higher into my nose.

I have no idea why I was targeted.

Maybe it happened while I was asleep.

What can I do?

Can we please watch Resident Evil on this bus?

I would love to do it.

And then the later, so the reporter's watching her, and then the doctor comes by.

Like, this is just brutal.

The reporters are being like, later, I watched a doctor squirt saline solution into Rainus Nostrils, which leads to a few more worms emerging.

Yes.

But these worms have killed a couple people so far.

They get, they get into your body, and they literally screw themselves in deeper and deeper.

and deeper.

All right.

And

they will come through any sort of, like, this one guy took a band-aid off just to let his wound breathe for what was minutes, he said.

I mean, and then

he was a homeless guy, which is really sad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, but then the fucking flies got in there and they fucking built their screw worms.

And these people are getting fucking screwed.

That guy said, he said, they bite really hard.

I could feel about 10 different worms at one time.

Yeah.

And if you look at the cups of the worms, it's rough, man.

Yeah.

It's real, real rough.

And this is after I watched the stupid Top Chef episode the other night where they were all eating bugs all fun.

They're all like, this new thing, too, is like, which I do believe is the subtle, like,

everybody's going to get used to eating bugs because it's going to be the main

form of our protein one day.

And it's slowly but surely like...

kind of like dipping its way more and more to pop culture, right?

I think that's like one of those like government disseminate information dissemination projects that we're a part of.

But I don't want to eat these ones.

No, you can't eat them because they'll just eat you.

78-year-old Maria Consuelo lives in Colonia, a volatile neighborhood said to be controlled by MS-13.

She had,

they took over her foot.

Do you see this?

Oh, no, I'm watching.

Yeah, they definitely gentrified her foot.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'd call it.

Yeah, that's what I'd call it.

It's like they all moved in from Wisconsin.

Yeah, yeah.

The fly must have laid eggs when the gauze on my wound was not applied tightly.

The next day, I felt like there was something digging inside my leg.

The itching was unbearable.

Rob is just fucking sperming.

We are killing this thing.

This is the only thing that gets me.

This is the kind of stuff that gets me.

This shit is nasty, dude.

It's just more like this is the kind of stuff we might see happen over and over again because we don't know why.

They don't know really why it came back so intensely and why it jumped to humans so quickly.

Yeah, no, they don't know why it's happening, but it's definitely happening.

And the illegal cattle trade is what is sparking it.

It's almost like it's all tied together.

It's almost like there's a lot of systemic issues and they're all tied together.

Who said that?

I'm fucking terrified by this.

Oh, yeah, you should be.

Oh, man.

As you should be.

That's why you almost go, oh, I just feel bad for the, oh, and the cows are just happy.

It just hasn't happened.

They're leaving us alone.

Yeah.

They said it hasn't really happened in 16 years, but now it's starting to happen a lot and down in Honduras and it's coming to Mexico.

Well, go head on down to Honduras and spend some of this tourist money because they need it.

All right?

Just don't mind the worms.

So

they do need that.

They do need that tourism money if you could.

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That was one interesting thing.

Now, this other story, you would think it also would have come from this part of the world, but no, it came from Cleveland, Ohio.

Okay.

A ship that docked in Cleveland last summer, they have now, there was a goo, right, underneath this boat.

It was a research vessel called the Blue Heron.

It was monitoring harmful algal blooms in Lake Erie, which I think is largely caused by the people.

Okay.

I just assume.

Have you ever been to Lake Erie?

No, but we're going to be in Cleveland the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

I'm excited to maybe get some of this algae bloom on me.

I hope that we can get some of this mysterious goo to come to the show.

Now, they found at the bottom of this

thing, right?

Now, the captain, Ruali, he piloted the boat to cleveland where it was in it was the great lake shipyard right he was having the car the the boat was having mechanical issues

and when they the the propeller shaft bearings needed replacing apparently uh and then when they opened it they noticed this tar-like substance oozing from the rudder post and it was normally hidden component of the ship's steering apparatus They need to know what it was.

At first, they thought it was like, they thought it was like grease, right?

A glop of the glue, they plopped it in water.

They like scraped some off and they plopped it in water, but it didn't leave a sheen.

So that's how they knew it wasn't grease.

And so then they try to shoot it with a blowtorch.

Okay.

Which is, what did we learn from the thing?

You know, hold.

You want to put that in a controlled environment.

They try to burn it with a blowtorch and it wouldn't burn.

Okay.

All right.

So that's that's concerning, right?

So then they brought it to the University of Minnesota Duluth.

We can go take a look at it.

That's when old Doug Ricketts, he was a Marine Superintendent for the Blue Heron.

He figured it out.

They went and they went and they took it over.

They brought a sort of guy named Cody Sheik.

They were working on the, they put it all together.

And basically, they found that whatever this thing is, is a new

DNA strand.

It's something new.

And they've called it, guess what?

What?

Ship Goo One.

Okay.

That is the name of it.

ShipGoo 001 is the official name of this new DNA strand.

We don't know what the hell it is.

The discovery of the

goo demonstrates how life can exist in unique places, including built environments.

We're seeing it more with like the algae and the bacteria that can consume plastic or the animals that can like live in giant rivers of trash.

So like in many ways, I know many people are very concerned about the environment, but I think it's fun to challenge.

nature, right?

That's all it is.

That's all pollution is.

Chaos theory.

It's a challenge to nature to see what they can do with it.

And they're succeeding wildly.

They're turning into black goo.

This is upsetting.

But Lake Erie has never been known to be clean.

No.

No, it's not like this is like coming from a place where like, oh, Lake Erie's nice.

There's a lot of like new, for some reason, around the Michigan area of like, go visit Lake Erie.

Bring your family to Lake Erie.

And it's like, ghosts keep begging me to go.

Yeah.

We're at Lake Huron.

You're right there.

You know what I mean?

Lake Huron's nice.

Also, Lake Michigan.

They should be promoting that, Michigan.

But why do I need to go to Lake Erie?

It's going to suck.

It is, it's notoriously stinky.

But same time, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-A-Gmail.com.

What do you like about Lake Erie?

Yeah.

And why is it the new Black Goo?

And if we're going to go take our Black Goo out on a date, where are we going in Lake Erie?

I know.

One thing I always know about Cleveland, cheeseburger town.

You mean like the cheeseburgers mayor and the police?

I wish.

Oh my god.

Oh, yeah.

No, but no, it's got lots of good cheeseburgers there.

So I'm excited for that.

This story intrigued me.

You didn't seem to care about it, but let's just talk about it for two seconds.

Which one?

The hospice nurse.

She got in trouble because she amputated.

This is an update, technically.

It's an update, yes.

So a Wisconsin nurse who amputated a patient's frostbitten foot without authorization and planned to use it as a ghoulish display in her family's taxidermy shop, was given a sweetheart plea deal, which she will serve no time in prison and just pay $443 in court costs.

Hey, you know, because in the end, she was just trying to do something fun with it.

She took off a man's foot.

But I feel like in the end, he wasn't using it anymore.

He was going to die soon.

He was frostbitten.

Yeah, she technically saved his life, which I think was probably they looked at the I mean he died days later.

Well, you know,

he didn't need the foot.

Yeah, no, I don't know.

Yeah, by that point, she's already got the foot.

She was initially charged with intentionally causing great bodily harm in mayhem and physically abusing an elder person.

But the felonies, which could have carried a maximum sentence of 40 years in prison, were dismissed after she pled guilty to lesser charges.

She was given a misdemeanor.

Oh, she took a plea.

Yeah, no, she took a plea.

Yeah, sure, great.

I mean, that's what she did.

They gave her a fucking crazy deal.

Well, probably, you know, you look at the person's history.

She was a nurse.

if she didn't have any other criminal history, if it's really just in the end, it's an art project in a dumb, disgusting way.

So I feel like I could see a judge being lenient.

Yeah.

I could see it.

You know, he was in hospice care, you know,

and she, but she called his feet mummy feet.

Yeah, they were.

But I also, they became that.

Yes.

That's what she did.

That was her artistry.

And it wasn't like he was the kicker for the Eagles.

You know what I mean?

Like the foot was

garbage.

The plan was she was going to taxidermy his black foot

and put a sign next to it that said, wear your boots, kids.

Yeah, that's actually a great idea.

I guess so.

It's like a joke.

It's like a joke.

It's like a funny joke.

It's a good warning, too.

But also, I feel like she's an interesting woman in the fact that she even thought of it.

But she's a nurse.

The nursing home administrator had told police that he explicitly told Brown not to perform the amputation.

And she did.

Oh, you see,

I do believe that that's like the real issue here.

My sister got extremely upset, quotation marks.

Oh, no, okay.

Oh, yeah.

And I don't think we need the quotation marks.

I think that she obviously was very upset.

But also, like, what if you gave her the foot?

Yeah.

Oh, she said that.

But did she want the foot?

When I found out, I pretty much lost it.

He had a heart of gold.

A phenomenal artist.

He had a foot of shit.

Yeah.

And the problem is, it's a

foot of coal.

Full of coal.

I'm just saying, like, the idea of like, you ever see that when you leave?

Okay.

Maybe, ah, wow.

This is probably not going to help us.

But the idea of that.

Did you listen to work again?

No.

Okay.

You leave a jail out.

We're going to beep him out.

And the beep each one out now.

Damn it.

This is what we're doing now.

The Rob's going to need a raise.

We need a special noise for that work.

At the very end of this is the, you know, people put out a table you don't want anymore.

So are you a criminal?

Or like technically it's like illegal.

Like if you leave a table out on the street.

And you saw its legs off without anyone asking?

Yes.

And you take those legs and you turn them into,

I don't know, like you're going to make them to look like big horse cocks for the pride parade.

Okay.

And you're, you have it all set.

So

that is technically a crime, but it's also art.

So I, that's my thing.

I think the art tips it.

Yeah.

Okay.

But also, I, I, I, I could see that she fired for being a nurse, though, I believe.

No, she's not allowed to be a nurse anymore.

See, that's the, that's, I think that's the bigger punishment of all.

Yeah.

Because she loved being a nurse, obviously.

Yeah.

She looks like a purse.

All right.

Moving on.

No charges for John Elway

after he killed his agent in an accident.

His agent fell out of of his golf cart, hit his head.

How do we know that John Elway killed this man?

Well, he was driving the golf cart, and this man fell out of the golf cart and he hit his head on the pavement and he died.

Was John Elway intoxicated?

It doesn't seem like he was.

I'm going to say probably.

He's on a golf course.

I mean, I do wonder if John Elway, because he's got big old chompers.

Yes.

Now, yeah,

I guess it's, but how would he be even kind of remotely charged?

Why would he be charged?

Because it was an accident?

Did he crash the

cart?

It seems like he might have like swerved and the guy fell out.

Jeff Sperbeck.

Why was that guy wearing a seatbelt or something?

I mean, you're in a golf cart.

It's a golf cart on a golf course.

But also we're in a seatbelt.

You got to tuck and roll.

I mean, this guy is 62.

He ain't tucking nothing.

How fast could John Elway possibly have been going?

I mean, I don't know how fast he was going, but they were...

Would he try to drift?

They were leaving a party after attending the Stagecoach Music Festival.

They were definitely.

Oh, he was hammered as balls.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He was hammered at him.

I tell you what, though.

Dan Marino's driving.

This don't happen.

Yeah, because he's alone in the cart because he has no friends.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

Everyone knows that fucking, you can't find a helmet that fits John Elway.

His head's too big.

Was Dan Marino a friendly man?

When I met him, he was nice.

But I mean, in terms of the, did he have friends?

I'm sure he had friends.

But I mean, in terms of the guys.

But, you you know.

I'm sure he had lots of friends.

I'm sure he's got, I'm sure he's comforted friends.

I hope so.

I know he,

you know, he has a child out of wedlock.

There's one friend.

That's different.

That's called being a responsible athlete.

The fact that he even, the fact that he even acknowledges the kid is huge.

I told you he had a choice.

Yep.

Well,

there's a lot of stuff you can do.

They say 600 people die each year in golf cart accidents.

Oh, yeah.

I can just.

Everyone's driving those things drunk.

Golf courses.

Are you ready for this?

Get rid of them.

I hate golf.

I know.

Golf sucks.

I think it's dumb.

It's so much space.

Make a park.

Literally.

Give the land back to the people.

Here's a compromise.

Gun range.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd rather be at gun range.

Yeah, exactly.

We can all get trained.

Every time someone wants me to play golf with them, I'm like, what do I look like?

It is considered to be the ultimate aging man's bonding experience.

And it's just not for me.

I don't like golf.

I don't like the outfits.

I don't like the little clubs.

I don't like the tiny ball.

Yeah, I don't like the elitism.

I don't like that the people who work there can't afford to live any close to it.

I just don't like everything about golf.

I hate that they hit the balls into the water all the time.

Don't clean them up.

Also, the idea of.

How many alligators choke on golf balls?

I'm sorry.

I also hate a sport where it's the least amount of points wins.

Yes.

It should be the opposite always.

Yeah, why?

Most points wins.

Negative is good.

That's stupid.

Fuck you.

You're dumb.

Yeah, man.

This is what happens.

I think I do an.

I think I do a commercial for the people.

Yeah, no, we love golf.

We love golf.

We do a golfer.

We do a golf commercial?

Definitely, Eddie.

Oh, yeah.

Because golfers love listening to True Crime Podcast.

They do, actually.

They actually, a lot of times, golfers love it, and they also, a lot of times, make the crimes that allow us to report.

Oh, well.

And that's what we love about golf is that it keeps guys out there.

So get out there,

roll up on your favorite court course,

and you want to hit that little ball out there to the other little hole to have a good time.

The only good time I ever had on a golf course is when I was a kid, we broke into one and had a keg party.

Oh, sure.

Fucking destroyed it.

And it's a lot of fun.

I just want to drink at the bar.

I don't even want to do that.

Because you got to drink with everyone who plays golf.

And then they're all fucking assholes.

That's why I would just say stuff like, well, yeah, have you heard about gay sex?

You said it.

You said it.

Hey, boys.

Hey, boys.

Want to take turns with me?

Now, speaking of this, let's do this little quick story right before we get to letters because this is pretty great.

Is this which one?

The chimps?

Yes.

Yes.

You said this very last week.

This is just really funny.

I found this.

Go ahead and just play this wonderful fella.

Real Greg Baldwin had an amazing Instagram reel that I probably should have used on the stream, but it just felt like it was news.

Let's just play this and then we can talk about it.

This is a wild story about the chimpanzees at the LA Zoo.

So the alpha male leader, his name is Glenn, right?

And he was so successful, they decided to transfer him to another zoo.

So, chimps are very smart, so they couldn't just have him disappear, it would have caused chaos, right?

So, they anastasized him, they knocked him out, they put him out so all the other chimpanzees can see him and think that he had passed away.

They had like a chimp funeral, and he went to the other zoo, but things didn't work out.

So, they brought him back, and all the chimps went nuts, right?

They thought Glenn had died, and he became the leader again, of course.

And so Glenn is now like the Jesus of the chimpanzees at the LA Zoo back from the dead.

Nothing would make me,

nothing would make me happier if this creates the first chimp religion.

Like, that has to be wild.

They just mourned him because chimps mourn.

Yeah.

And then he just comes.

They know what's up.

They can speak.

But he comes back.

I'm actually really surprised that your whole group beat him to death.

Well, I mean, you never know.

Well, here's the thing.

I'm surprised that didn't happen also because back in 2012, these same chimpanzees group murdered a chimp baby.

Yeah.

That happens actually quite a bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was mauled to death

in front of a crowd of people after the

kids gave birth.

And they just killed it immediately.

Anyone else was mauled to death?

What?

The homeless of Salt Lake City.

Oh, that's right.

Good pun.

Yeah.

Good pun, buddy.

I like it.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, but the infant was born on March 6th, 2012,

to Gracie, who's being allowed to keep the infant overnight.

And then an adult male chimp decided that

he didn't want that baby around.

No, that is, it's very common amongst the chimp community.

They're not woke.

Yep.

You guys have to be careful.

We all love chimps, but their views are problematic.

Jamie Becker, the zoo's director of mammals, said, I feel bad for the people who saw this happen.

Well, yeah, sure, I mean.

There were young children that were there.

No, they should learn.

Yes, those kids should know that their father could do that to them if he so wanted to.

All right.

That daddy could fucking regulate if he needs to.

Be scared of your father.

So we got LA Zoo.

I feel like just keeps having problems.

We had problems with the elephants.

I don't like zoos anyway.

I don't like elephants.

I like zoos a lot, but when they're doing good, and the LA Zoo has a decent reputation, but I keep hearing awful stories.

Well, yeah.

Well, but now, this is, I guess, a good story.

The new one.

What?

That's this fact.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus' chimp.

No, we see.

I don't view any of the.

I'm afraid of fucking with the theology of these animals.

I actually think it's very concerning, and I guess it's probably good that they didn't beat him to death because then the chimp would have become a martyr.

And he would have become more of a concept than just a fellow chimp.

And I think that would have caused them to rise up.

They know they can't fuck with Glenn.

Well, you don't fuck their ass up.

I would check Glenn.

He's the leader.

I was just the new leader.

What happens when you check Glenn?

You get fucked up.

It's me, Vanilla Rumsky.

I'm the new leader of the monkey group.

And the fact that you died, damn it.

They're apes.

You're dead.

I'm calling us monkeys.

I'm taking us back.

Make monkeys great again.

I'm taking his back.

Rip your goddamn arms off.

Glenn, no one fucks with Glenn.

Wow.

Yeah.

I guess not.

Well, not even God Himself.

He's old.

Yeah.

Fat.

Yeah, I think that he's like, just leave me alone.

How about I?

Why you keep doing this to me?

I'm Glenn.

Why keep doing this to me?

All right, time to do some listener emails.

We got some good new stingers, though.

Oh, we got new stingers for the listener emails.

We did.

Are we going to pick one eventually?

Are we just going to.

I don't know.

Good.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

I want to fucking

rap these listeners too.

Ooh, listener.

He is.

Ooh, shit.

Oh, yeah.

That's good.

Oh, hot damn.

Some white man blues.

What?

White man blues.

That was really good.

Yeah.

Who did that one?

That one was from Dylan Raddick

from Akron, Ohio.

He's in a band called Sea of Ghosts.

Really good.

Really good work.

Do we want to play one more?

Yeah, let's check this out.

Some guy.

Different guy.

This one's from Brandon Coyne from San Diego.

Let's check this one.

This one's from The Lake of Ghosts.

Listen up, Ramoux.

Going down, Tancorie, Samuel Channel.

Cool.

I think I like that one more.

Whoa, more than the fucking white man funk?

I think I like it more than white man funk.

Whoa.

That one

had some soul to it.

Well, that was kind of more noise rock that was actually i feel like more even marcus's flavor it was cool though i like it yeah who did that one uh that one was uh from brandon coin oh yeah good work brandon coin is he in a band doesn't say uh getting one yeah getting a band right for help come on these singers ain't making any money come on man get out there and you know what because that's how you're gonna equal the playing field especially if you're ugly yeah you should have uh donated to

them and in jeffrey epstein's name you would have gotten a shirt you would have gotten something it's amazing how we gave those people more than these people making art for us.

So much more.

So much more.

But you know what?

They get

a sticker?

Yep.

No.

No.

No more.

I'm promising.

We can't track them all down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we got to give all the other ones.

Jeffrey Epstein.

Have we ever gotten a good Bigfoot picture, by the way?

No.

Has anyone said shitty ones in?

Yes.

Well, I've gotten a lot of people in.

I've got a lot of people in costume.

I've gotten a lot of pictures of other fat men that they say, is that you or is it Bigfoot?

Then I get a lot of other pictures of like funny Bigfoot statues, but yet I don't even see a grainy one yet.

And you guys have to remember, again, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-A-Gmail.com.

We're not joking about this.

If you come to the Humboldt show and you have a good picture of Bigfoot, we're going to give you a pound of weed.

You kind of need to be where the weed is.

Yeah, yeah.

Because you can't ship it.

No.

And we're not driving it.

Yeah.

And we can't fly it.

Yeah, so it's on you.

All right.

So it's kind of on you for both.

I still think it's worth it.

I do too.

It's a pound of weed.

Yeah.

All right, here we go.

The Camo Man.

When I graduated high school in 2014, Christ, a few of my friends and I decided to take a weekend to go ref it in the woods in Sandpoint, Idaho.

After filling the old Jeep Cherokee with not nearly enough bug spray or food and far too much twisted tea, we drove out to the woods for what was sure to be the best weekend ever.

After finding a nice clearing, we decided to set up camp.

Tents were placed, campfire was ready to be lit, marshmallows eagerly waited to be roasted, but the first order of business was exploration.

So off we went in the vast wilderness of Sandpoint, Idaho.

But then things started to get weird.

We couldn't help but feel as though we were being watched.

or followed.

And we were convinced that we kept seeing something darting between the trees just off in the distance.

Being that we were all just seventeen or eighteen years old, we just played it off by saying it was Bigfoot.

But after a few more miles of exploring, we came across a lively and friendly dog.

We didn't realize we had gone so far that we were now approaching a small cluster of houses.

We knocked on the door to a house trying to find out where this dog belongs, and spoke to this man who lived there, and he mentioned something that kind of freaked us out.

That dog's delicious.

Have you licked its belly?

That's my wife.

He asked us,

have you seen the camo man in the woods?

After a short conversation, he explained to us that there is a military veteran who lives nearby, and he spends his time sneaking through the forest in his retired ghillie suit.

Cool.

We are sure that this is what we were seeing, but we were never able to confirm as our trip was cut short due to one of us getting a nasty bug bite, causing his hand to swell up like a balloon.

This is 11 years ago, and we still talk about Camo Man.

It is weird.

The idea of just like, hey, I'm just looking.

I mean, don't mind me, just looking.

If you have a Gillie suit and you're not using it, what's the fucking point?

Well, I would wear it to the store.

I'd wear it to the mall.

People wear it to the restaurant.

Yeah.

No, you use it to hide.

I'd do both.

It's for hunting, usually, so it's kind of like a red flag, I think, if someone's wearing one of those.

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, what's going on?

He's just in the woods.

He's just

a job.

Don't look at me.

I get mad when people look at me i'll have a cheeseburger and a milkshake to me this listener male is there was a guy where he was supposed to be no he wasn't he was stalking children he wasn't stalking anybody yeah he was he was following them in the in the woods for pleasures i think it's okay

well now you guys know what to do to eddie he didn't do anything i can't wait for you to do this to eddie this guy did nothing wrong the next time we go to any place remotely forest bound we're gonna set this up yeah i just need to get in touch with somebody who is a ghillie suit i mean there's lots of ghillie suit listeners.

I guarantee it.

Oh, yeah.

I want one.

I might buy one.

Let's do it to myself.

Do it to you.

Immediately when I Google Man in Ghillie Suit, there's a man dressed in ghillie suit whistles at children in the woods.

Oh, wow.

Where is it?

Isn't it the same?

Isn't it

my people?

You see, Eddie?

Oh, your whole community's there.

This is exactly what you should be doing.

Hell yeah.

Oh, great, Eddie.

Nothing like, oh, because you know, Ed loves his kids.

Well, the show's sold out on the 29th, but if you want to come, Gillie Suit, man,

show up the Gillie Suit on its lead.

We won't even know he's there.

That would be funny.

Someone should bring the last podcast on the left-themed Gilly Suit

to the show.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

We really, today really flew by, didn't it?

It really did.

Wow.

What another wonderful episode of Side Stories.

So make sure you live every day knowing the fact that almost a year ago to the day today, the President of the United States was not shot.

You can laugh about the fact that they keep trying to tell you that he was.

We know for a fact that he wasn't.

All right.

I hate to say this.

His ear looks good.

It's fucking the best it's ever been.

It was better than it was before.

And you can love the fact that

you can spend your days and your hours watching endless YouTube hole videos about

what actually happened to him and the fact that he actually cut his ear on the holster of a secret serviceman that was standing at the podium.

And the only thing he cared about was getting his shoes so no one could see that he had lifts inside of his shoes.

And then that guy died because they set the whole thing up.

Yep, they don't, and they couldn't care.

We haven't heard one word about any of it since.

Yeah.

Yep.

Because they murdered a man.

They murdered a fireman.

They did, but he was totally acceptable to sacrifice.

So, thank you guys so much.

We got a lot.

Go ahead and go to lastpodcastontheleft.com, buy tickets to see us live.

We're all over the goddamn place.

You got to come see us.

Go to patreon.com/slash lastpodcastoneleft to watch us flap our gums.

Also, you can see the live stream every Tuesday, 6 p.m.

PST on our Patreon only.

And then, you know, obviously we cut out what we can't make it to YouTube and we put it on there for free for you.

But then go to all our socials that help you on the left.

You can see it.

And go to our new YouTube channels.

We're making a lot of stuff.

We are about to make an announcement.

I think that's going to actually make people happy.

I don't know.

I don't know what makes people happy anymore.

But I think that they...

Even when they're upset, they're happy.

That's the thing.

It's mostly you're starting to find out that when they're upset, they are happy.

But this one's going to make you actually happy.

And it's going to come out very, very soon.

I can't wait to tell you about it.

It's a whole new project we're doing here.

But between then, go to our new YouTube channels at LPN TV, someplace underneath, LPN Romanticy, The Foreign Report, and No Dogs in Space.

Go check it out because that's where all our new shit is coming.

All right, Dan.

I hope you are inside Annabelle.

You know what's nice, you know what's honestly the only kind of silver lining to all this is that nothing makes a ghost hunter happier than finally becoming a ghost.

Oh my god, does he have to hang out with all the ghosts of Gettysburg?

Oh wow, that's gonna be a bummer.

Hail Satan.

I don't know.

Hail Gilly suits, I guess.

Hail Dan Marino.

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