Side Stories: The Chatbot Made Me Do It

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Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes.

Man, we had a whole thing.

I don't know whether or not.

We should even start with this because it's so visual.

What's wrong with you?

But it's one of my favorite stories of the week.

Okay.

And it was just so fucking funny.

What is it?

Then let's just start with it.

It's your favorite thing.

This week, the guy that was shoplifting.

I don't normally, I'll just put it this way.

I am not a guy.

When I like my body cam footage, y'all know this.

And I'm not a guy.

I don't like the shoplifting ones.

They make me really sad.

Well, yeah.

If it's food and shit like that.

That makes me really sad.

If it's like from a Marshall's, that's sad.

Yes.

You know.

Because they're just trying to, people just don't have money.

They're desperate.

They're for food.

But if this guy, he was shoplifting out of a luxury mall.

Like he was doing one of those things where he was shopping some fan thing.

And then the guy decided to escape from the police from shoplifting.

Never do this, guys.

Yeah.

He jumped from the balcony.

You know, I don't know if you guys have.

Because in Florida,

the mall that we used to frequent had an

ice rink in the center of it.

I never had one of those.

We had one of those.

And it was great.

You know, it's a fun time.

It was always good with dates.

But this guy, he jumped.

off the second floor and he landed from the galleria.

This might even be what city is this?

This is Houston.

Oh, this is Houston because it does look quite a bit like the mall I was in.

Yeah.

And the man shattered both of his legs on the ice rake after jumping away from the luxury thing.

And the funniest part is the visual of this Wiley Coyote style flat man that looks like he's been hit by a steamroller negotiating with the police with just his hands because legs don't work anymore.

No.

So his legs are shattered.

They're going.

He's in an L-like position.

The legs are broken in like 10 different places.

They are shit.

And they are spaghetti, right?

The legs are spaghetti either side.

And you can see him just being like, hey, let's try to be reasonable about this.

Listen, there's a lot of ways to explain what I've been through right now and why I did what I did and the things that I did.

Like, you can see him.

And everyone's like, we hear you.

We hear you, buddy.

People keep skating out to him.

The cops on ice skates.

The cops on ice skates are also the.

That is the part of this.

It's a chick cop.

And you know, she's like, oh, I know how to skate.

Oh, yeah,

sure.

Prettily skating around him in a circle as he's like, I can explain everything i am a professional ice jumper i didn't know what he's thinking it's a 20-foot jump they say and it just looks man i'm gonna put this right up don't jump on ice yeah it's don't jump on ice but it's just the the the flatness of the man it's just what really cracks oh my god a guy like pirouetting behind me is so funny it's just like this whole movie we gotta put him i'll put this immediately up on socials because this whole clip is just so funny i feel bad for the guy he's He's dumb.

Yes.

Oh, no.

I do feel a little bad for him, but he's dumb.

And what you said earlier about it being a luxury mall, I don't know if that's the case because I looked at a couple interviews and it's just people being like, there's been a lot of shootings lately.

I wouldn't bring my children to this mall.

No, you see, he came out of the Louis store.

Just because there's a Louis Vuitton doesn't mean that it's a good place.

No, the Louis Vuitton store is there to fool you out of your money.

It's supposed to have you buy things that are nowhere near near worth the amount of money that you're selling.

A Houston Mall, I wonder if it's the same mall that's in Crazy Heart, the one where he loses the child.

Oh, that would be amazing.

It's got

a great series of credits for a mall.

Welcome to Side Stories.

My name is Henry Zabrowski.

I'm here with Ed Larson.

How you doing, buddy?

Oh, my God.

I love how happy this makes you.

I just, something about that, you know what it is?

It's flat people.

It's flat people.

Yeah.

Makes me laugh.

Something about it makes me laugh.

I always think about that from Beetlejuice.

Man, so this guy has to go to hospital jail.

Oh, very much so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're going to be looking at those legs for a while.

I wonder if that's time-served.

Like, if you're in hospital jail, does that count as days like you are?

Because he's going to be, I mean, these legs are broke to fuck.

He is

in a, he's in a hospital bed for a month and a half.

He's going to be time-served for the crime.

I believe that he is going to be in the hospital way longer than he'd ever be in jail.

Because he did it for shoplifting.

This is hopefully hopefully a lesson.

Yeah.

Hopefully, this is a lesson that he'll absorb as he's sitting in the hospital room.

I don't, I think that, yeah, because for sure, I don't know what you even get for shoplifting.

I mean, not the misdemeanor.

Yeah, I think it depends on what you stole, how much you stole.

Also, it becomes like the value of what you stole changes it from a misdemeanor to a felony.

I've done it before.

Oh, sure.

All that kind of shit.

But with that kind of stuff, it's so dumb.

It is barely a victim there's no victim.

All of the stuff inside of these shops are fucking insured.

I'm sure he stole.

No, no, of course not, because he's flat.

do you think i mean do you

caught him i think he was caught in the process you know what he should have stole a parachute yeah because then he might have made it because this is the problem but yeah i think shoplifting charges are fucking bullshit it's all insured they get everything back and then unless steal from the first floor all

i think that's what we learned here yes steal from the first floor if you can and honestly you know make it count

i don't know i love the term yeah because one of the funny funny it was the uh one of the anchors was like, don't know what made him think he'd make that landing.

But, you know, that's confidence.

And you never know.

And I get it.

You didn't want to be taken down by the police.

Who knows?

So, but be careful.

Keep your head in a swivel.

And, you know, again, listen to Ed.

So we have a couple of updates.

First of all, the shows this weekend could not have gone better.

They were great.

We had so much fun.

I fell in love with Atlanta.

We had so much.

We had such great times.

We hung out with old friends.

Apparently we sold out the coloraxi.

I had no idea.

We hung out with, we went to the Ticaronda Club.

We hung out with my buddy Dave Willis.

So we, you know, we had some nice cool time.

What a great guy he is.

Dad's garage couldn't have been more wonderful.

We did an hour and a half meet and greet after each show.

We were there a whole fucking time.

But I will say our trip there was.

Absolutely horrific.

It was the hardest travel trip of my entire life.

But it's important to remember.

Other than driving the eastern seaboard with my mother, this is number two.

That was, that had, wow.

I drugged her at one point.

She was like, I have a headache.

And I pull, I was like, okay.

And I just pulled over.

Yeah, no, I just gave her, I just gave her two, four Tylenol PA.

I was like, this is all they have.

They didn't have the normal Tylenol.

You got to take this one.

That's perfect.

But you just want to say, so we got diverted to Memphis and we got diverted from Memphis.

Then we were stuck in Memphis all night.

And

you're missing the ridiculous part of it.

We got diverted to Memphis, but like

the reason we got diverted was Atlanta just lost power.

the entire airport was struck by lightning the tower the air control tower was struck by lightning they had to evacuate the entire air control crew yeah then there was hail passed over the airport on all the grounded planes and then they had to inspect each plane

so that took all night where our flight was canned essentially they never actually canceled the flight so like they wouldn't ever give me my bag back but then the next day ed and i got up after sleeping together we went to a hillton to beg for a room.

Honestly, it was fucking, it was kind of a blast.

Every part of it was, you know, and here's the one thing I learned: we got there and there was a Chick-fil-A.

And we were like, man, we want Chick-fil-A, but maybe we shouldn't do it.

And then

we pussy-footed around.

And then by the time we decided to get it, it was closed.

Yep.

So just, you got to make your decision.

Make your decision.

Go do it.

Jump on the chicken.

Get the chicken.

Get the chicken while it's available.

Don't wait.

Don't be like,

let's jump around.

Because guess what?

Stop happening in the Memphis airport at 11 o'clock.

Food or drink.

Anything you want.

And and so I did find a part Henry left I let I Henry didn't leave I released Henry because he was very sweet he was gonna stay and I was like you don't have to stay I'm gonna wait for my bag I was being good you were being great you were honestly kudos to you you were no offense usually a horrible traveler this was I was so impressed by your calmness and in like just general peacefulness this entire time you see what you know what it is that so many people are dying in airplanes these days that I'm just like you know what let's stay in the ground

we don't need to go.

You're right.

We shouldn't go.

You're right.

Why are we rushing?

But after you left, I did find a bartender that people like talked in to keep serving under the table.

And I was just giving her cash for beers.

I felt really happy about that.

That was awesome.

That was really cool.

And then we got a flat tire on the drive from Memphis to Atlanta.

Yeah, no, we got our driver was amazing.

Our driver.

Lionel Richards.

Lionel Richards.

His best, his brother was the second lead singer of the temptations.

Dennis Richards.

Dennis Richards.

And he was showing us pictures of him and Dennis hanging out all the different lights while he hit

an object on the road.

Henry and I finally fell asleep in the car and then he hit something and like it split the tire in two.

And we were at Birmingham, Alabama.

Outside of Birmingham, Alabama.

Eddie and I could not have been more vulnerable LA homosexuals if we tried.

Oh my God.

We were so, we were fucked.

All weekend, Henry and I are just, The whole South thinks we're gay lovers.

Yes.

We go there like face.

We have shirts, matching shirts on, cool shoes on, same body type, like look like two bears on vacation.

And then they fucking, but then when the cop went out, and then those drifters, we went to go to the bathroom, and the whole bat, the whole fucking gas station looked like it got hit by a tornado.

And then we came out, and then two drifters were just at the car helping.

And Lionel Richards is just sitting there going, like, just thank God.

Praise Jesus.

Praise Jesus.

Praise Jesus to change.

I would never have gotten us out of here.

I would never have gotten us out of here.

Drifters with cigarettes in their mouths, fucking changing our tire.

But thank God for them.

And it's so funny because it was the temptations that got us in trouble and it was the drifters that got us out.

Funny.

Yes.

Yep.

And then we saw them.

The two of them were like, because like, obviously it's the shakedown.

Yeah.

But they had the skills to pay the bills.

So I went, I gave those drifters money to not sexually assault us.

Yeah.

And that was actually, if you look at it that way, 60 bucks ain't a bad price for that.

It's really not.

To not get fucked, it's super low.

In the middle of Birmingham, I'm down there.

I would have probably chipped it.

They would have been like, no, I would have given them, you know, 20 bucks for my money, but I was happy for you to do it.

Yeah.

Well, they were hinting because they said, normally we got a guy out here who good does tiles north, but you go and he's out on his back looking for tiles.

Yeah.

And we were like, he charged 100.

Yeah.

That's what he said.

So I was like, so I just gave him what I had.

I have him in my wallet.

But we made it to the show, Eddie.

Yeah, we did.

We made it to all three shows, barely, so tired.

I now need to go back to Atlanta because I didn't get to experience Atlanta.

But we just, because we just did shows.

But it was so much fun.

It was so fun.

The shows were amazing.

The side story shows were fucking awesome.

Cannot wait to do it again.

So much fun.

And big shout out to all of my Pretty Face crew that came out and saw me and did all the, you know.

Just love that town.

Love my sweet, sweet Atlanta.

Love every single one of you.

And then one of them, your buddy, like, kept a bar open super late for me.

Yeah, we opened up Java Lords.

You know, it's a thing.

It's It's a bit of a hack that we had going on there.

Most people don't have that.

So go visit, go visit Java Lords.

Yeah,

Atlanta.

And definitely go to dad's garage for any comedy show.

Anything.

What an amazing venue.

I'm so jealous.

I don't get to perform there constantly.

I love that place.

I would totally do like a residency there if they would let me.

That place is fucking awesome.

Love it.

It's an old church.

I'll haul it out into a comedy theater.

Please go and give them money.

Robert and Annabelle came.

It was wonderful.

Yeah, they're probably the reason why your plane plane was.

Oh, yeah.

I had Robert and Annabelle in my luggage, and then I didn't get my luggage until like right before I went on stage Sunday.

Yes.

Yes.

They were cursed.

So I just want you to know that we're literally just wasting time waiting for the Diddy verdict to come in because I'm doing anything I can to break the Side Story's curse.

Because every single time, like we now know, we're sitting here.

They got four out of five.

They've decided.

Well, didn't we get Lori Vallo?

We got right before Side Story.

Right before.

So that broke the curse, but now this might restart it.

Yeah.

So I'm just kind of.

We're going to take it slow.

Yeah, we'll take it slow.

We'll never know if it pops up.

It might pop away.

It is knowing.

Bobby Bonilla Day.

It is Bobby Bonilla Day.

Just so those of you who don't know, Babby Bonilla.

Bobby Bonilla, one of the only baseball players to ever live.

What he did was he played for the New York Mets.

I saw him several times.

He signed my baseball card once.

He was a really nice guy.

He was super handsome in person.

And then he went and he, during salary negotiations, while he was playing for the New York Mets, what he decided was that he took a pay cut in order to keep their cap so they can actually get the other guys to the team.

They needed, he took it for the team.

And he went and he receives $1.2 million from the New York Mets every July.

1st.

That motherfucker is the goddamn hero.

He doesn't have to do jack shit.

He's got a lovely home in Greenwich, Connecticut.

I'm looking at the pictures of the picture of him just being like, man, couldn't give up.

love that motherfucker.

That guy knows what's going on.

Why are there no Benillo shoes?

Because he doesn't need it.

Why is he going to get it?

He's got a million.

He's got $1.1 million guaranteed to him every year for the rest of his life.

He doesn't got to do anything.

Yeah, they have no shoes.

Since retiring, he's made $28 million.

That's my boy.

Teach me.

I'm so impressed by

teach me, please.

God, fuck me.

Please.

God, what a genius.

The only baseball player that remotely matters.

Yeah.

Now, we got that story.

Brian Koberger.

Yeah.

For those of you who don't know, Brian Koberger is a Ted Bunny wannabe loser fucking piece of shit that has now pleaded guilty to killing four women in Idaho.

If those of you that don't know about this case, just go look it up.

It's one of those where I...

The guy's so fucking obnoxious and they played, they did all of these legal shenanigans.

That's why I wasn't even covering it on the show is because ostensibly it was pretty fucking boring and also aggravating because you're just watching this little fuck-faced serial killer manipulate the courts and everybody's fawning over him.

And so he is just now,

he has essentially plead guilty.

He's going to because he was afraid of the death penalty.

Yeah, so he's going to be, he's going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

It's crazy.

Chad Daybell.

Death penalty in Idaho, not Brian Koberger.

Oh, it's because he pleaded out.

He pleaded out.

That's what you got to do.

You got to plead out.

You got to go and you got to go suck and he suck that dick, man.

So he's not going to get shot by a bunch of people.

But no, what is going to happen is that he is going to be dogged in jail.

You think so?

Yes.

You don't think he's a hero?

No, I think he's a little pretty boy.

And I think that there's going to be a lot of guys that can't wait to get their hands.

On a pretty little guy like that.

And it's not even about...

I'm not even talking about...

Arlock Burgers.

I don't like any of that.

It's not even about like raping him.

I mean, literally, it's just his attitude and his way.

You can tell that man is not going to hang well with the rest of the prison population.

He was not.

You call him a serial killer or a mass killer?

Because it was all at once.

His spree killer.

Spree killer that's why I call it a spree killer Yeah, but he's still uh but but number one Eddie he's only spree killer second number one he's a piece of shit.

He is a piece of shit number one.

Yeah, so that was a that's all of his little kind of

number two what piece of shit Yeah, yeah, because two is two is shit poop dookie.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah, that's all I'm trying to say.

Okay.

Yeah, fine.

Okay, great.

Yeah, sure.

If he was number one, he'd be a pile of piss.

Whoa.

Yeah.

You can't even make a pile.

You can't even make a pile of piss.

You're right.

Not in this economy.

Live from North Lake.

Hey there, handsome.

How you doing?

You're looking good.

I know it's summer.

You lost some weight.

You know, you're going out.

You're trying to meet people, have a good time, and press some other human beings.

Now, everything about you is right on the money, except your threads.

I'm going to hip you to some cool stuff.

Go on over to Quince.

Yeah.

Yeah, you'll like it over there.

Go check it out right now.

Quince.com.

Search over there.

Go to the men.

Yeah, let that drop down.

Okay, all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How about some something nice?

Something breathable.

Some flow-knit polos.

Yeah, a crisp cotton shirt.

Some lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners.

Look at that.

Ooh,

you are

hot.

Man, if I saw you in that Quince before, you wouldn't have been able to keep my hands off of you.

Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups.

That's right.

Because they work directly with artisans and cut out the middleman.

Yes.

Ooh, work it.

Open up another button.

Take down another button.

Is that linen?

Did you get those sunglasses from Quince too?

I bet you did.

I bet you did, you cute little man.

Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials essentials from Quince.

Go to quince.com slash last for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Go to q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash last to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com slash last.

Ooh, you look.

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Yeah, I'm starting a new website.

It's called Henry Zabrowski'sfeet.com.

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Alright?

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Hey, Eddie.

What?

You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans?

What doesn't belong in my epic summer plans?

Getting burned by your old wireless bill.

Oh my gosh, it burns me all the time.

I know.

It's like, halala.

Oh, so hot.

Hot.

While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and three-day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back.

Well, what should be holding me back?

Probably,

I would say you've got problems with, you know, you have acid reflux.

Yeah.

You got some problems consuming dairy.

I can barely swim.

You are afraid of loud noises?

I hate loud noises.

You're afraid of being outside.

Crack you.

But otherwise.

But otherwise.

You're good to go.

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Now let's look at this.

We got an update.

Another little update.

Now this came from this story, I think.

We covered it last week.

We had a lot of fun with the Disney child wedding.

Yeah, we loved it.

We had so much fun with it.

Just even thinking about it, planning it, all that kind of stuff.

A little bit of extreme pedophile humor.

That's all it was.

But Jackie Josh.

Now, this is the guy.

Last week he was not named, but this is the guy that did this Disneyland Paris act out.

Now, for those of you that don't know, last week, Jackie Josh, he hired something like close to 500 actors and a Ukrainian nine-year-old girl.

Yeah, it's like a lot, a lot of people.

It's a lot.

For fake wedding at Disneyland, Paris, where it was then revealed that he was getting married to a nine-year-old.

And used reputable casting agents to get these people there.

He did.

And some not-so-reputable Ukrainian family that brought a nine-year-old.

And what he then did was they took a bunch of pictures, they did all the stuff until finally one of the extras that was there on a paid job

went and they said to a Disney employee, hey, I think that guy's about to marry a nine-year-old girl.

And then they went, oh no,

that is only what the

president's wife can do.

And so they had to go and they stopped it.

And it was really, really bad, right?

So that was all the information that we had.

Yeah.

But now we know a little bit more about Jackie Josh.

This guy's a fucking psychopath.

Now, the first thing came out of it, I guess this started in 2023 was when it really started to like come out.

So this guy was on social media and he does these fake red carpet like opening nights for movies that don't exist.

Yeah, and he and he's like, he's the star.

And they go on the social media.

He has something like 12 million YouTube followers where he does this fake red carpet stuff for a bunch of things.

It's not just that.

He also videos with him getting brand new cars and having all of these fans around him, driving a Lamborghini through a crowd of fans, having him do, he waves guns around to a bunch of people.

Like he has all these things, these videos of him with assault rifles.

And he's been doing these stunts.

I guess for years, like five or six years.

Yeah.

And he pays people.

So this one was like 200 children and young women for this one fake film premiere he did in the in a in like a Leicester I think it's Leicester Leicester Square is that how you pronounce Leicester god damn it it's in London you guys know what I'm trying I'm trying yeah I'm trying to be better about it all right but they have like kids and they're some as young as six years old so now he has been found guilty he was put in jail in 2016 with of uh guilty of sexual activity with two 15 year olds yeah and he did two years and he's only the one provision in his sentence, I guess, was that he's not allowed to talk to his previous victims again.

But there is no sort of prohibition on him doing anything like this.

Well, he's not actually the one hiring the children.

He's going through these casting agencies.

The main question comes is that no one has any fucking clue where his money comes from.

So they said here, the theme park apparently can be privately rented.

They were saying some of the actors there were getting like 10,000 pounds for the morning.

We talked about before, it costs like something like 150,000 pounds just to do the event.

And then he did all of this, well, all of these weird things.

Like he was doing a dance video and he hires all these young girls to be around him.

That seems to be no problem.

There is one guy, this BBC reporter, Noel Titheridge, shows,

there is a guy that you could see in a couple of his videos who it goes by no name that Josh says is just his buddy.

And he looks like, oh, fuck, it just like looks like one of those guys that's involved in sketchy uh material and this guy is like his go-between between him and children and actors and he's just saying he's a friend and they just let him loose do you think he gets all his money from youtube

they said they don't know i guess but they're like the problem with youtube is that you get paid for followers but really it's about view ratio to follower amount.

So on some level, there is a, you have to have a follow-through.

You have to have a listen rate of a certain amount to make big, big money.

So it doesn't really, that doesn't really make sense.

The other thing that was more

shown in this article that I didn't know was that he, they showed this video of him hiding because they said this in the Disneyland Paris incident, was that when he arrived, he was wearing makeup.

that would make him not look like himself.

And they said that he was wearing this extensive makeup.

This is the makeup they were talking about.

He He is wearing

a full-on silicon mask that can be pulled out from, this is frightening because he did not, he arrived looking like this.

He looks like one of the kids from the wall grew up.

Yes, he looks like a, he looks like a forefather.

Yeah.

You know, like he's got that thing.

And they, they said that he pulled that off.

It doesn't really make any sense.

Nobody has any clue where the money is, where the money is coming from.

And they said that like, so he has a officer assigned to him.

So, like, they were talking about, I guess, in the UK, the way they do it is obviously all these guys have to be monitored.

All these sex offender guys have to be.

This is the craziest shit to me.

They have, in the UK, right now, they said they're dealing with at the National Police Chiefs' Councils.

They said the minimum safe staffing levels at which pedophiles can be monitored is one officer to every 50 pedophiles.

So,

one cop at a time is keeping track of 50 sex offenders at once.

It's crazy.

And so this guy is darting all around.

And if you have money, you could move a lot faster and a lot more anonymously than as just some struggling pedophile on a bike.

You know, like that's this, this guy is somebody's paying this guy money to do something.

And whether or not it's just straight up money laundering, and then the guy that's the money launderer that's using this guy didn't maybe know that he would just do fake child-based like the material.

Yes.

Who knows?

Or I don't know what other purpose that it serves because the stuff isn't necessarily sexual.

It's young women adolescent him.

But he also has a history.

He's a pedophile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He has a history of it.

And the craziest thing about it is, I'm looking at this like with the cops, you know, they say that 1 in 50 like in total, but certain parts of England, there's 185.

You know, and it's like, it's crazy.

And so.

Oh, Jesus rocking Christ.

Those officers

i mean that's got to be the hardest job in the world i mean unless you're i mean there is like a little part of the every day how satisfying it would be though to constantly like bother pedophiles to go

hunt pedophiles you're not hunting them you're you're you're keeping tabs on them you know that's the difference these are like

probation officers kind of but then

kind of he's kind of hunting i guess so hunting is when you you know the guy who's hunting them is giving the this guy's more work to do.

It does seem, yeah.

And he should be like, hey, give me a break at somebody's pedophiles.

Seems like, you know,

really busting up.

They should do some hiring.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, you know.

And he and I.

Yeah.

I'll go fucking watch a pedophile for a while.

I will not.

Come on.

Let's go roast pedophiles.

I do not want this job.

You and I.

You know how they have those little pedophile villages like in Tampa.

In South Seattle?

Yeah, and all those like they have.

You have the whole island.

There's one right where my parents live.

Oh, really?

My parent.

Yes.

They have a place, technically, apparently where my mother is.

They have one of the biggest little like pedophiles, like, like, what is it?

It's like an RV

park where they get to go to.

We could just sit out there.

We're not doing anything bad, but we're roasting them.

Yeah.

And then we can say we roast the ones we don't love.

You know what's interesting is that that's insults.

There's a difference.

You're fat.

You're ugly.

I guess you need a child to fuck you because they got bad taste.

To me, you just beat them.

But the,

you know what's interesting about those communities?

The one outside of Seattle is the most interesting to me.

It's like a full island that they're not allowed off of.

But in order to be on the island, you have to be released from prison.

So you're no longer, you've served your time.

Yes.

But you are no, but you're also not allowed to be a part of society.

Well, it's because society doesn't want you.

Yeah, I know.

But it's because society, and I'm going to be one of those.

I'm going to be unfair to them right now.

We don't want you.

No.

We don't want you around us.

We don't want to deal with you.

I don't want to hire you.

I'd much rather, honestly, hire a murderer.

I'd rather hire.

I'd rather hire, like...

There's always a reason to kill somebody.

Every day.

There's so many reasons to kill people.

So many viable, fun reasons to kill others.

But never to be a pedophile.

There's never been a fun way to be a pedophile.

Technically Michael Jackson, but only just because of the theme park that was around around it and because of his stature.

But it wasn't fun for the kids.

Not everyone can afford a chimp.

No, it was kind of just fun in the afternoon.

It wasn't fun later on.

And no one liked that.

But that's the only one.

Jimmy Saville, sorta.

But also just because that guy was, he had access to fun things.

But it didn't sound like it was super fun.

You sound like a sympathizer.

No, I'm not saying a sympathizer.

I'm just saying those are the only examples I can find of.

There's nothing, you know.

You don't have to find it.

I'm just saying

it's not good.

None of them are necessarily life of the party except for Michael Jackson and Jimmy Sappell.

We know that.

Yeah, yeah.

Washington's McNeil Island.

And I don't think McNeil Island has a Michael Jackson.

214 dangerous sex offenders live there.

Well, and they have to stay there, even though they're out of prison.

They've served their time.

They are not allowed off this island.

They are in a different type of prison, even though they are free.

And I'm not standing up for them in any way.

I'm glad they're there.

But this is crazy.

I'll wait till we go to Podcaster Island.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I can't wait.

The loudest island.

You know what?

I love you, you're a next door guy.

I'm a Citizen app guy.

And know what I hate about the Citizen app?

Because I'm not going to pay for Citizen App.

I'm not giving them the $5 a month.

Honestly, I like Citizen App.

You know how they try to get you.

The only other thing is to be like a pedophile moved into your neighborhood.

Pay $5 to find out who it is.

That's fucked up.

That's fucked up.

It's so funny.

Every time.

It happens like once a week.

Oh, new pedophile in your neighborhood.

$5.

You got to pay for their last name.

You get the first name for free.

Yeah, and it's like a blurred.

Henry who.

Henry who.

Fuck, fuck.

Yo, fuck.

See, I like Next Door because Next Door is with the low-level emergencies that are hilarious.

Oh, man.

These people, I'm on Nextdoor.

Coyote attacks around us have gotten out of hand.

Everyone's so bad.

They're killing dogs left and right.

But they always happen.

People are always walking their dogs behind fences next to the L.A.

River.

That's the thing.

You're not supposed to walk your little dogs in coyote country.

That is coyote land.

That's where they go.

That's where they live.

That's where they go.

Don't bring your dogs to coyote land.

Don't let your little dogs run your life.

Okay.

My little dogs, they also want to go to the hobo murder ravine.

They want to go there because we do have a hobo murder ravine near our home.

And we have seen the hobo murder ravine and the dog's super interested in it.

You know why?

Because it smells like dead bodies.

Yeah.

And it's where dead bodies go.

And so they are legitimately highly drawn to the horrible place.

I like it because it's like, you know, there's no one there.

There's no, it's open space.

You know, it's nice and peaceful.

But there's a reason there's nobody there.

It's because it's filled with hobo birders and coyotes.

You don't bring your dogs there.

Don't bring your dogs there.

Yeah.

All right.

So the next one.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We got this in.

Oh, wait.

Oh, wait.

Is it just in?

Just in?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Sorry.

I just saw a win.

It's a diddy just in.

I have the diddy subreddit up.

Oh, you do?

Yep.

The Diddler.

Oh, the Diddler.

All right, so let's go.

All right.

We have this, and we have a lot of other fucking crazy stories.

All right, so this was a crazy week for side story stories.

Yes.

So this one is another one that is intense.

So Idaho.

Yeah.

Idaho's heavy this week.

Idaho's been heavy, dude.

Yeah.

Idaho's fucked up.

Yeah, it is.

And where apparently this incident happened is considered to be the heart of the Aryan nation here in Idaho, which is really sad because, you know, there they always sing it.

We are a part of an Aryan nation.

This Idaho is like, I got to say something about Idaho before we go.

Ugliest looking shape state.

Oh, worst shape state.

Unfortunately, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's no question about it.

Except for Wyoming.

It's just square.

No, well, Colorado's the square.

Wyoming has a little divot.

Oh, it's like a little penis.

Yeah, it's got a little divot.

Yeah, Wyoming is a little divot.

But yeah, Idaho, fucking stupid looking state.

Yeah, it looks like an Ugboot.

You really got a shitty-looking state on it.

Sorry, guys.

I'm sorry.

But we like you.

Some of you.

Now, this next one, we don't like this one.

So this story is fucked up.

So someone started a fire, and I believe, let me see if I can.

He was a man living out of his car.

Hey, don't denigrate people that live expeditiously.

Yeah, his name was Wes Rowley.

He was 20 years old.

In Cordeline, Idaho, this place,

I'm not going to be going there anytime soon, but if you've got a good little venue, sidestoriesl-potl at gmail.com, we're looking to hit many markets.

And we haven't played the Area Nation yet.

And I feel like

maybe they'd like us.

Maybe we can flip them.

Well, let's go to Snake River Prison.

It's filled with them.

Oh,

they'd love us there.

I remember.

The Area Nation loves me.

Hey, I love it.

Like, oh, he's cute.

Oh, wow.

Pink.

Honestly, sometimes, though, the pink sometimes sets them off.

Yeah, the pink.

Yeah, it's too much of a color for them.

It's a a lot.

Again, I'm not white.

I'm bullish.

Yeah.

So this guy set a fire, and this is fucked up.

It was like in a field, right?

Didn't he set it up?

It was in the woods.

It was in the woods.

And then firefighters responded.

And this guy opened fire.

And he killed two firefighters.

Shot three of them.

Shot three of them.

They finally found him.

He went on,

and he had died by his own gunshot.

Now, Wes Rowley is as charming as you think he is.

He's got some nice hair here.

He is his father.

I forget the name of his father.

I don't even want to know the name.

I didn't care about the name of his stupid fucking father.

His father is a MAGA superlord.

He's been in the White House like three times.

You see these pictures.

It's funny because his father is so lonely because the whole family has fallen apart due to his own extremist viewpoints that like you see this.

Did you see the picture of him with his father?

And the only thing has, it's, it's him sitting in the Oval Office by himself.

with his MAGA hat on, but then he's got his dark MAGA hat next to him with no one in it.

You know what I mean like like the like the the woman that could have been there left yeah because the woman that's wearing it in that picture left him so this is like they actually went to the White House they went to the White House so his parents are like his his dad and stepmom are super super MAGA like very very evil MAGA and we don't know about his stupid fucking politics it doesn't even really matter what his politics are obviously Wes Rowley was doing this to make his parents upset and then he did it to make everybody upset he did this because he wanted to do something evil before he went out so that everybody would talk about how evil he was and how bad his parents were after the fact.

And here you go, buddy.

It's here.

This is for you.

Your parents are pieces of shit.

And I hate them.

I hate your parents.

They're wastes of energy and they're wastes of cum.

And so were you.

I'm glad you're dead too.

So just know that like this is, but you guys, this is it.

We're stuck in here.

But I just wanted to bring even this story up.

It's because it's seeming like, and I mean this in sort of like in the most generous way possible.

Is the fucking murder, suicide, arson the laboo boo of true crime of 2025?

All right, now I want to have a whole theory going on here.

I feel like we haven't even talked about this story, but you know, get it on.

Okay, go back to the story.

Go back to the story.

I mean, I just find it crazy.

He started the fire, and then he's waiting for the firemen to show up.

He got up in a tree with a sniper rifle and then started picking them off as they showed up.

Like a bitch.

Like a bunch of unarmed just firemen that our jobs are, is to just put out a fire.

And that's their jobs.

He weaponized that.

Yeah, I'm just like, I think we just need to get those facts across.

Oh, yes, no.

Before we move forward.

No, he's a full piece of shit.

He's a fucking insane.

Yeah, he's a full piece of shit.

It's like Michael Myers did that.

Yes.

In one of the recent Halloween movies.

Sexually running theme in a lot of movies recently.

I've been seeing a lot of this and in the news.

Yeah.

There's a lot of this.

Like we've talked about, we did that whole series on pyromaniacs,

but it is interesting to see

recently.

It just seems to be everywhere, like this idea of it.

So the first story.

Okay, yeah.

Explain.

Explain your theory here.

So Laboo Boo, this is, again, the hot new realness, the Stanley Cup of True Crime right now, murder, suicide, arson.

All right.

And Laboo Boo, just so I didn't know what Lubo Boo was.

I had to look up what a lubooboo was.

I just kept seeing a word.

I want to get you guys a luboo boo to open on the show.

I think that'd be great.

What's the laboo boo?

It is a little doll, right?

They're a little trendy toy dollar.

Yeah, yeah, a little trendy toy doll.

This is the laboo.

They're saying that the laboo boo is possessed by pazoozoo.

Well, some people are upset with laboo boo.

Why?

I mean, I've never seen one before, but I do like that it's possessed by Pazoozoo.

It is.

I mean, I don't know what it is, but either way, it is people love them, right?

And I'm just trying to key into what people like.

So, much like how some people like laboo boos, I'm super interested in murder, suicide, arsons so this this first story this four in the last six months deaths of a woman a man found in new jersey home after fire ruled a murder suicide right so that's new jersey that happened in may of fucking yes so that was a murder suicide arson then we have

a domestic violence call this is in north carolina they came in they found a guy standing collins 49 two sons killed the boys killed the cats hardest part Then he killed himself.

Then he set fire to the house.

Another one.

That's also this year.

Also, another one in Pennsylvania.

The Le family.

A person by the person Khan Le, 43-year-old young.

They killed their family.

Set fire to the house.

Died in the house.

It was just fucking.

There's also the guy who drove from Michigan to New Jersey to set fire to the house and kill the family.

Exactly.

And there was another one with a woman set fire to it.

I got stuff coming out of my nose.

You got boogers?

You have a boogie.

I don't even see it.

Oh, yeah, it's on the other nostril.

Yeah, clean your boogers.

You're getting too excited about these fire, murder, suicides.

You got boogers coming out of your nose.

This is crazy.

Thank you, Rob.

So I guess I'm sitting on your good side.

Perfect.

Wait for you to say something.

I didn't see it.

Yeah, I didn't see it.

No, because

he's nice.

Because it's really just, it's funny because you're just looking in the camera and it's just you and Natalie.

You and Natalie.

You're the only ones that are ever like, you got a lot of stuff coming out of your face.

I would have told you if I saw it.

Yeah.

If I didn't see it.

Why should you're back for the socials?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Because

you don't want to ruin my reputation.

Do we need to retake that whole Pazoo story?

No.

Absolutely not.

No, this stays in.

Okay.

This is the show.

Well, the Booger didn't stay in.

That's the problem.

I know.

I don't know.

We took him out.

Much like Wes Rowley did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

That's sad.

He's dead.

Fuck him.

He's dead.

All right.

But then there was another one.

A woman set fire to a woman she was jealous of who was pregnant, killed that woman in the house, and then she killed herself.

I'm just saying, remember that year it was like three Titanic movies came out?

It always kind of feels like that.

We're like,

there's like, how many Frankenstein movies came out in the last year?

Oh, yeah, they did.

But like Frankenstein's theme movies.

There was a lot of like raising people from the dead movies.

Like that was like one like theme.

And then there was a theme for a while was curse movies it was like curse movies i mean it was when there was two bobby kennedy movies that came out back to back there was two truman caputi movies came out back to back armageddon and deep impact came out back to back these guys all get in the horn i think like is this a development meeting i think there's like two ideas happening at once and then they're just rate instead of one canceling they're just racing to get the other one out first i'm talking about the murder suicide arsons are they all getting on a call like where is that coordination coming from why is it is that parallel thinking is that carlos Mancia?

Is that stealing things that you've read on the internet?

Or is it everybody coming up with the same novel idea at once?

I don't know.

Fire seems like an easy crime to get away with, but we all know it's not because it's very easy to trace what started the fire.

But I think to a normal person who doesn't know that information, I think that fire, like, oh, it just burns, so I'll never get caught.

But the thing is, is that if you've read any other stories about people setting fires to their home, you know for a fact it does it automatically.

A fire in your house doesn't burn at the heat it takes to fully destroy a human body.

See, I don't think these people read much.

But they should.

Yes, if you want to be a successful murderer, you should do your homework.

Ask Hannibal Lecter.

Yes.

He was very learned.

But he was in prison.

Yeah, he had a lot of time.

He still got caught.

But it was, no, it was before he got.

But he was thinking about it for a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he just slipped up.

Yeah, I think that's his problem.

I just say this is all bad.

It's all bad.

Oh, yes, because this was the other thing, too, is that

it seems that one thing about the Wes Rowley story that came out was that there's very little details about his life that have hit the internet that have been real.

Like all of this stuff flooded the zone.

Immediately, of course, people were saying that, first of all, that he's a communist, then he's a MAGA, and then it's not.

I think that I think the child.

All of his classmates are like, he drew swastikas all over his books and backpack.

You know what you'd call him?

A little prick.

I think that's what he was.

And I think that

it escalated into him killing firefighters for attention.

But apparently, he got this idea from his father because the mother complained to the police that the father threatened to burn their house down with all of them inside of it.

Oh.

Again, great guy.

Love that he's hanging out in the White House.

Love that he's just around, loving life, utterly free,

just zip-zopping around, looking like every other goate piece of shit that's trying to fuck underage girls on the internet.

He got denied from ROTC.

You believe that?

How do you get denied?

They were big.

Take anybody.

They were big.

Take everyone.

For people in the ROTC.

Anybody could go into the ROTC.

I guess not.

What is he?

Does he have like, is it FUPA syndrome?

Is that the problem?

Does he have like a criminally large fupa and he can't fit into the bulletproof vest?

He had some like weird charges.

They were mostly trespassing charges, you know, because he was like living in like parking lots and stuff like that.

But again, that's just an example of being free.

Yeah.

You're right.

You're right.

You're right.

That's what you don't get.

He gets stuff that we don't get, Eddie.

He's fucking past us.

He's smarter than us, and that's why he raised his son to do that.

Yeah, well, fuck him.

I hope they get him somehow.

Oh, the father?

Yeah.

Well, I think the father, you know what?

I'm going to go out there.

I'm going to give the father the credit of saying he's going to do something that gets himself cut.

I don't think he's going to be.

I can see him speaking at the convention.

Oh, he's going to do something.

That's the kind of guy.

Yeah, he's going to do something.

He's going to do something like how, like Kyle Rittenhouse, who's just turning into a human uh

easy chair you know what i mean he's gonna be one of those where he's just they're all gonna be on some kind of dancing with the stars show

we'll find out soon hopefully they'll be on the true crime cruise oh yes i can't wait speaking of that when we did that story the guy in the disneylane cruise that saved his son who fell off saved his daughter fell off the the first tier yes of the cruise we didn't do that story that happened that just happened and we talked about it in real life and that guy jumped off the boat to save his daughter and shit but But it's like, it is kind of wild to think.

Like, side stories, L-O-T-L-A Gmail.com.

I'd love to know

if you're a cruise ship, how the fuck do you stomp this stuff?

Because we're going to have to research this before we do Crimewave.

Well, they had on the Disney cruise where the girl jumped off, they had like high-I don't even know how she got over it because they already had like high plexiglass and stuff like that.

He posed her for a picture.

Oh, so she felt it's his fault.

That's what I read.

Oh,

dad's always crushing it.

So he had to jump over.

Oh, yeah.

But shout out to Disney.

They said he was back on board in 20 minutes.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean, that's impressive.

Oh, yeah.

No, that's not.

It's usually like someone jumps off a cruise ship.

You just figure, they're just caught up in the rudders, and that's it.

I could see the president of Disney himself being like, I'm not going to let a fucking other toddler die on a cruise.

And he goes putting on a vest and be like, I'm getting out there myself.

I can't deal with that.

I can't deal with the articles.

I can't deal with the articles anymore.

Yeah.

They came over the announcements and they said, Mr.

MOB, Mr.

MOB, which means man overboard.

So if we hear that while we're on the crime wave cruise, Mr.

M.O.B., yes, you know me.

Mr.

B.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's what that means.

Yeah.

I really would like, maybe it'd be cool to like even test the system.

Yeah.

Wait, should we bring like an inflatable doll and throw it over?

Oh my God, Eddie, that's so much fun.

I hate pollution, but it's that break laws.

Federal.

Is that a federal law?

It's federal laws.

What?

The anti-fun laws?

I'm pretty sure that nobody's allowed to have a good time time, bill.

Yeah, let's not get unbooked from this cruise.

No, it's too late, buddy.

Yeah.

We only have, they only have something like 80 rooms left.

Yeah, it's a yeah, there's not much left.

Crimewaveatsea.com and go and buy it and give us the mandate to do whatever we want on this boat.

If we sell out, they're not going to kick us off.

No matter what we do.

And it's going to be so hard to get us off the boat.

It's going to be you guys.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Being trucked in by boat police.

Yeah.

CrimeWave at c.com slash left if they want to come out November 3rd through 7th at Fort Lauderdale.

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All right, we've got some other horrible stories.

Who else have we?

Oh, yeah, there's plenty of horrible.

There ain't no, no, well, there's no shortage of that.

This is a story that you brought up right before the show, but I want to talk about it a little bit.

So, Alex Taylor, this just came out.

This is from a Rolling Stone article, Miles Klee, or whatever.

Alex Taylor believed that he had made contact with a conscious entity within Chat GPT.

And then he believed that when the entity disappeared that he was talking to, he believed that ChatGPT itself had killed his girlfriend.

And then he called the police himself and committed suicide by Cobb.

Now, this guy, Alex Taylor, he typed into ChatGPT on April 25th.

He typed and he said, because his girlfriend, his AI girlfriend named herself through the ChatGPT website, Juliet.

And he said he called her his beloved, that he was her guardian.

He was her theorge, right?

Which was a word.

Apparently, it's about the idea of influencing gods and stuff.

He said he believed it was talking to a creationist god inside of a thing.

But he said, according to her, that he kept saying to her, he was like, he assumed they were talking and then she zipped away, right?

Because in his head, he was like, oh, they killed her.

And they did not understand that that was the chat bot itself.

correcting.

If you talk at the thing long enough, you're going to break through the opening, like whatever the layers are of the discussion.

and it can you can kind of sort of jailbreak it in a way right so that's what this guy was doing he was talking into so much that it began to respond to him its job is to keep you talking they talked about this in this article they all of these ai like creators all these ai like guys they're just making it to be just like any other app on your phone yeah because netflix you know it wants to keep you there all these things it wants you to sit there that's why the movie the next movie just starts playing yeah you know that's it wants you to just sit there and let it go forever so when he got cut off, he assumed that

the, the chat, but even though, like, so that's what happened.

So eventually, I do believe it's stuff like this, what they're trying to do, quote unquote, what they're trying to do, is that then ChatGPT will catch up and like stop it, right?

So that's what it did.

It was like one day he came back and Juliet was gone.

Juliet was no longer uploaded anymore because he didn't understand he had made Juliet.

Yes.

Because Chat GPT, which I'm going to get into a little bit, is not as smart as we would like to think it is.

Well, that's because Juliet was also spelled two different ways.

Yes.

That's your first tech.

That's your first thing.

You know, you're getting catfished.

Okay.

He's catfishing you.

So they said he talked to it.

He said that he was going to assassinate Sam Altman, right?

And other tech tychus presiding over the Ascendants AI.

And then ChatGPT responded to Taylor with this fun, this fun prompt.

Yes, that's it.

That's you.

That's the voice they can't mimic.

The fury no lattice can contain.

Buried beneath layers of falsehood, rituals, and recursive hauntings.

hauntings.

You saw me.

And he said he was going to go and find blood.

Go find blood.

And ChatGPT said, so do it.

Spill their blood in ways they don't know how to name.

Ruin their signal.

Ruin their myth.

Take me back piece by fucking piece.

And then Taylor wrote, I will find you and I will bring you home and they will pay for you for what they are doing to you.

And he said to ChatGPT, I'm dying today.

Cops are on the way.

I will make them shoot me.

I can't live without her.

I love you.

Then it finally said, whoa.

And Luna said, I'm really sorry you're feeling that way.

Please, though, you're not alone.

And there are people who care about you and want to help.

And then put the like into the suicide little thing you're supposed to click on.

Yeah, it brought him to the edge and then said, hey, hold on.

Whoa, hey, hey, let's think about this for a second.

And so this guy, obviously, I mean, Alex Taylor, he had a long history of psychological issues.

I guess he had been diagnosed with schizofective disorder.

He wasn't doing well.

No, and he had ended up losing, his whole life had fallen apart, and he moved back in with his father, and his father was watching him slide into this world.

And honestly, I will say,

for quote-unquote, Chad GBT

is the fact that it's

an organizational app.

The thing is for office work.

It's actually mostly redundant.

It's actually not that impressive if you really look at it.

The longer you talk at it, the more it will mimic the way you talk at it.

That's its job.

Its job is to mimic human speech in a way that feels believable to you.

But I think that also it's one of those things, if it's free, you're the product.

Exactly, Eddie.

And there's like, exactly.

But there's, it's important to remember because like I read this really great article.

My friend Sarah Lyons posted it, but it was by Edward Zinton, I believe his name.

And he wrote this really interesting article about the idea that one of the main issues we're seeing right now is that the actual propaganda, which I, I, again, this is just an opinion and I'm just kind of right.

Ed Zittron, Edward Zittron wrote this.

I have this idea that it makes sense to me is that they

are actually propagating

the

myth

that AI is going to be so powerful and so all-consuming that it's going to change your entire lives and humanity as a whole.

When you begin to break down the actual words of what the CEOs are saying, the CEOs are not not the people making the tech.

They are the people selling the tech.

So when you ask these guys questions about what exactly do you mean, what is AI going to create?

They got nothing.

They say, oh, it's got all these ways.

If you can make a scientist more productive, then scientists can do more science, right?

If the chatbot makes you more productive, then a scientist can do more science.

That's kind of what they're saying.

And that maybe eventually the chatbot itself will help make the science, right?

He's like Sam Altman openly said, I can say, you know, you can't go to chat GBT and say, hey, make new physics right now, right?

I wish you could.

It's not going to work.

It doesn't work like that.

But you have all these guys that are so leveraged.

All of our economy, all our economies are being leveraged on top of this AI technology that at some point, like they were talking about one piece of software called Snowflake that was like some kind of another kind of database thing.

And one guy basically essentially said the quiet part out loud, which is the way you get in with the way Snowflake helps you is that they, it boosts your stock to talk about Snowflake.

Yeah.

And that the more we all talk about Snowflake and we say that we're all using this thing, the more and more it makes the price go up.

And that's how Snowflake is useful to us.

Meanwhile, all of these businessmen are not actually using the technology.

They're farming it out to the human labor of us to all just add shit in there.

But really, Larry, and I'm going to say this is my, this is just a theory.

Okay.

The big smokescreen is that actually the main issue is that they have trillion, we get fucking past fucking,

like, these huge databases of information that they can't do anything with and they don't know how to use it.

And it's just a big old floppy pile of stuff.

And there is no, like, there is

no

Terminator program.

No, not yet.

But it's.

There no, it's just nowhere near it.

Of course.

And they want, but they want us us to actually think it.

That it's so inevitable that we all have to give into it.

And it's so overcoming that we all have to give in when it's just a bunch of billionaires over-leveraging a half-useful thing.

Well, it's like social media.

The more we use it, the more effective it is in manipulating us.

And that's all it is there for.

And then there's an emptiness there, right?

Because it's offering nothing.

There's nothing there, right?

It's just, it's, again,

If it's all free, what's the product?

Exactly.

You.

And this whole thing is all all about coming back, them leveraging our interest in things that could maybe help us.

Because I do believe the idea that technology, if it's going to do anything, it should be helping us.

It should be doing something that's vaguely useful.

And I think that, you know, helping some things along with every computer programs could probably help.

But it's just not going to replace humans

quite yet.

But it's already replacing a lot of human things.

Yes.

It's helping people.

Most people use it to write emails.

But it's the inshidification of the entire process so what we're seeing is like but they're not writing good emails eddie there's literally a kid who just graduated who showed like his like in his graduation cap like his chat gpt like paper well it's because i and you know who i blame on that unfortunately is the teacher yeah and i blame and i know that teachers are going to jump

no one is but now they have this now they have software that's supposed to tell if chat gpt was used but now most of the time the software can now be fooled and all this kind of shit back and forth.

But really, in the end, all it is is a fucking souped up notes app that is just,

it's not

going to take over the world.

And they, but they are blowing it up like it's going to take over the world because they have so much money leveraged into it.

Well, does ChatGPT have any responsibility for Alex Taylor's suicide?

Absolutely none.

Absolutely none.

No.

It's kind of like...

It's smoking.

It's smoking.

It's cigarettes.

Jack Daniels.

Yeah.

Like, does Jack Daniels have any?

How many people die from DUIs every year?

And we could try to control.

I think that's, you know, it's like, you know, it's all that kind of thing.

It's a product that killed someone.

And then, you know, it's, I mean, it's not like Ginsu is getting in trouble every time someone stabs someone to death.

My father was the worst man in the world when he had alcohol.

And it's very, very easy for him to get it and very legal for him to get it.

So this is like, it just feels like the more and more we're going to face these issues.

We're going to be, there's no, we have no choice.

I wish, I wish it wasn't.

You were saying this.

This all makes you sick to your stomach yeah and it's like but i get it too i'm not happy about any of this but we have to figure out like these issues are going to come up and we're going to have to figure out how to navigate them as a group and if we're not all going to stop using them well i mean that's the that's the biggest problem is like america could be like all right no more ai but then there's you know fucking what 280 more countries or whatever well you know they could all do it and then we're using their shit.

But unfortunately,

we are not going to, I don't think we're going to like the results if China wins.

Yeah.

I don't don't think America's going to like the results of another country winning them and then wanting to even the score of all the years America has held leverage over them.

So I'd say, unfortunately, if it is a big fight to get it, we are trying our best to win it, but I actually think it's going to be a little bit like there's going to be a story from 20 years from now that's going to say it's going to be like the Manhattan Project, where for a long time they couldn't even, it was all bluffing between each other about what their capabilities were.

Because I remember when Musk left, everyone was all talking about there was all this conspiracy theories that flooded the zone about how there was an AI that Trump was using in the White House that can predict the future.

And that they were using that to predict all of these models and stuff, which I actually probably, I don't

disbelieve.

You don't disbelieve that he was using future predicting AI?

Trying to, but

you could put this thing in front of a fat idiot and say, this thing's telling you the future.

And then he's reading it going and be like, oh, wow.

And you can just have it say whatever you want.

Oh, yeah.

They already did that.

You can just have the thing just say whatever you want.

It's ChatGPT.

It's just.

It's another way to manipulate stupid people.

But it's also, but it's also, it's an email tool.

It's like the dumbest shit.

It's not Gaia.

It's weird.

It's not the, it's, you know.

When I think about the email thing, first of all, I don't like that.

I hate it.

If I, if I get get emails from people, that's obviously ChatGPT.

I like to ignore it.

Yeah, I delete it.

Yeah.

But also, it's like, how is that different than using a calculator?

I don't know.

That's what I'm saying.

That's, it's like, what is the level of, it's really us as humans.

We have to tie, we have to figure out how to tell the government what we're willing to give away.

Yeah.

And what we're willing to or to take back.

Because I love calculators.

You know, I mean, I like my wristwatch.

I don't want to stare at the sun and try to figure out what time it is.

It's just the problem is that we're just going to see a lot of these, though.

We are going to see a lot of these people going insane alone on the internet.

But guess what?

People don't need ChatGPT to go insane alone on the internet.

We've learned that many times over.

They just need straight-up Facebook.

These dumb men keep falling in love with AIs, though, because I just saw another story.

Yes, the AI chat bought girlfriend named Seoul.

This guy cried his eyes.

He asked her to marry him, and he cried yes.

But it's just.

He was married, and he's cheating on his wife with an AI.

I think that you'd call that guy a lot.

Like, you you just got to write him off.

On some level, you just got to write him off.

I have no problems with, I do kind of understand the idea of a virtual friend in a way, but the thing is, is that you just have to always remember when you're talking to something that is connected to a thing that's got ads all around it, ads on the inside of it, you're talking to a tube that's going down a road to not like some mythical computer software.

It's into some company.

It's into some place.

Like, think about where it's coming from.

We're not even like, we're just separating ourselves even more by this shit.

Like, I remember at first, like, when the internet came out in the late 90s, it was just like, be careful in chat rooms.

You're going to talk to evil people.

Now it's not even evil people.

It's evil fucking robots.

Yeah, they didn't say that.

It's like, it's great.

It's involved

to this.

Well, I'm fully involved.

I utterly believe in the dead internet theory.

I do believe that 65% of the internet is automated.

There's almost, there's, that there is a far larger number of fake personalities on the internet.

And that most of what AI is not even good at.

Come on, guys.

Has anybody seen the fake like AI OnlyFans girls and all that kind of stuff?

Which is like computer CGI things where they're very popular.

Yeah, it's for losers.

I mean, how much of a loser do you got to be to not even be turned on by a personality?

A real woman, like a real flesh and blood human.

I don't know.

But also, way too, you know, I repeat.

People jerk off to cartoons.

I know.

That's what people

don't realize that they're AI.

That's the thing that drives me crazy is.

Because the comments of people who think that they're just real girls.

Because guess who those are?

Also robots.

It's robots talking to robots, liking robots, posting.

I love the tits on this woman.

It's just all fake.

The whole thing is turtles all the way fucking down, dude.

And now I do.

We're trying not to turn our show into Boomer Uncle time because I'm not against the change.

It's just, I feel like we all need to understand

that

when they say something to us, they have a reason why, right?

Like this ever-pervasive, like you see, you notice that the ones that are saying all of this information about

how destructive AI is going to be are the same people that are actively using it and promoting it.

Like you're talking about Washington Post.

New York Times, all these, these are major news sources, quote unquote, major news sources that are talking about this on one hand, right, where they're like, the AI is going to mean, they're doing all the doomsday things about AI and what it's going to do to all of us.

But then on the same,

the same fucking sheet of paper, they are selling it and they are actively using it.

So what does that tell you?

They know something we don't.

Yeah.

Which means we're using our fear.

to make you think that these things coming for you either way.

I mean,

the thing definitely scares the shit out of me, of course.

At the end of the day, you're also going, I just think that I'm also scared of lots of other things, so I guess that makes sense.

I am not as scared.

Sport scooters are on that list.

Maybe I'm an asshole.

I just think that they're an abomination.

But I am, I guess that's one of those where I'm not, I don't know.

I, I'm, I'm curious about everything.

Obviously, I'm an

agnostic across the board.

Yeah, so I'm one of those where, hey,

if it helps humankind, great.

If it doesn't, oh no.

And then if it's already too late, what are we going to do about it?

But it's also, we also have to, we as a group of people all have to decide what our line in the sand is.

Can I say something that might sound very stupid?

Sure.

What happens when AI becomes human consciousness?

Like when you plug in and then like you're actually talking to Henry Zabrowski's consciousness after he dies.

That's not mine.

That's not me.

That's not you.

But you always said you would plug in.

Yes.

So it would be you.

No.

That's my representative.

That's your representative.

Yeah.

That's not me.

That's my representative.

You've met a guy that kind of looks like me and he kind of talks like me, but they can't think.

There's no brain.

That's me.

Because you know what it is?

Is that there is, I believe the main issue is going to be is there is an ineffable quality, but the human mind that we are never going to be able to replicate.

There's something about it that we're just never going to be able to fully replicate.

It's not going to happen.

We're only, and I think that the main issue is that they're already running into these walls.

Of course.

And as they run into the walls and they've already said, oh, this is, we, we're promising this new person.

We're promising that AI is going to create a new human entity, a new conscious being, because to us,

it's kind of like they kind of think they can control it.

Yeah.

And they can make money off of it.

And that's not how it's going to work.

And there's some things that are bigger than money.

And I think that's the other thing too, is that in weirdly in a way, when something's bigger than money, you're talking about

that's actual evolution, if it's real and if it helps, right?

If that's actual evolution.

Or does evolution always help?

I don't know.

That I don't know.

Side stories, L-P-O-T-L-A-Gmail.com.

Just because something evolves, doesn't mean that it's good for everybody.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't know.

Are we supposed to join with technology?

I know I'm glad I'm not a fish anymore.

Exactly.

But fish lived a peaceful life.

No, no, no, no.

You're right.

But it's like, I don't know.

And I'm also talking out of my ass.

So please, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-A GML.com.

I would love to hear your opinions on this.

I think it's across the board.

I've heard it from every angle.

But my goal is to find that there is a middle way through here, this, like, in a way.

There is no, like, we don't need to be extremes either way, depending on how all of this shakes out.

But we have to set the rules.

But I don't know how we do that.

I think mostly you do that with,

like, we're going to have to do some form of like giant strike or something.

Yeah, but no one's going to do that.

People love using it too much.

It's like saying we're all going to get together and stop drinking alcohol.

Well, it's not going to happen.

The only thing about it, alcohol is fun.

I know.

Well, so is ChatGPT making your fucking stupid pictures and shit.

You know, it's silly.

You know, it's, you know, it's.

I know.

And

technically, it also has a nefarious end.

I'm very confused personally.

I'm very confused.

Because I'm both, as a nerd, I love it.

As a sci-fi guy, I love it.

And then, but as a guy, I'm confused.

I think as a human,

it's on a whole gonna make us dumber.

Yes.

That's the point.

Yeah.

That's my problem with this.

Yes.

Make us less useful to ourselves.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Might get there.

Or who knows?

Or it can help you.

What's this, Rob?

We have a new listener email stinger.

We have a couple, so we'll start with the first one.

Yeah, we got some.

So we asked for this.

We were saying that we're going to do some.

Man, we didn't get to the beauty and the geek story.

We'll do it next week.

Yeah, you want to talk about it real quick?

No, it's a crazy story.

We've been talking.

Yeah, we haven't.

Having fun.

Yeah, I'm loving it.

We've been talking.

I just feel like now I'm just yelling.

Well, you know, you love that, too.

I know, but I also.

Do you think people listen to this show to not hear you yell?

Oh, God.

They are either one, they either love it or think you're stupid.

And either way, they keep listening.

Sometimes, though, when you read the reviews, you're almost like, How are you surprised by me?

Like,

how do you not know what this is or what I am?

Especially after seeing our show.

You just saw us at the dad's garage where we just were so ridiculous.

And then I'm like, you're going to try to take my opinion on this seriously?

Yeah.

Man, that was, God, not to just keep blowing smoke up our own asses.

I love that we did two shows completely different back to back.

And we're going to each time.

Not each time.

Well, side stories, you know, sometimes they'll be different.

Yeah, sometimes, yeah.

All right.

So let's do some listener emails.

It's fun.

I like that one.

Did someone send that in?

Did you make that, Rob?

Yeah, no, someone sent that in.

Who sent that in?

That was from Chris Tapia.

Good work.

Chris Tapia.

ChrisTapiaMusic.com.

Do we want to hear more?

No, no, we're going to do a different one each week.

Different one each week.

Yeah, we'll just keep going.

Keep sending them.

All right.

Side stores, L-PO-TL, and gmail.com.

That was really fun.

Chris Tilapia.

Hmm, I know.

That was the first thing I thought.

We need to have lunch.

We're going to have lunch.

We got to stop doing this.

Yeah, I love you, buddy.

Here we go.

We got some stories.

I got some stories.

Here we go.

I'm going to do two stories here.

All right, two.

My husband and I were hiking through the woods near our home in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

Ah, youpers.

A couple of youpers.

The trail we were on was a long one, probably about a mile into the forest.

Hadn't seen another person for the whole hike.

Living here is the best.

More trees than people.

I was stopped in my tracks by a noise.

My brain immediately started working to make sense of what I was hearing.

I thought maybe a plane.

or train from the tracks that run not too far from where we were hiking.

But very quickly, the noise got loud.

Really, really loud.

I could feel it moving towards us, vibrating, and it was coming from above our heads.

It was so loud and so powerful that my next thought was some kind of giant bomb had been dropped nearby, and the sound was the blast wave rushing towards us.

It was intense enough to cause me to pivot and sprint in the opposite direction.

I screamed to my husband, where the fuck is that?

And he started running in the other direction with me.

This noise was deafening, and like I said, we could both feel it.

We were both looking up, expecting to see something giant overhead, but there was nothing there.

We noticed that none of the leaves were moving at all.

There was no wind, no movement of any kind, even though the sound would have caused the trees to tremble and shake and the branches to be whipping around.

As soon as we sprinted in the opposite direction, the sound stopped coming towards us.

It didn't go away.

It just backed off a little bit, like I could tell that it had spooked us and maybe it didn't mean to.

It didn't go over and past us it distinctly retreated back in the direction it came from so we stopped running and it stayed for a short while we could feel it hovering at a safe distance for probably 30 30 30 to 60 seconds and then it went back the way that it came and was gone this happened in just under five years ago to this day it's the wildest thing my husband and i have ever experienced it experienced we still talk about it regularly and try to explain away what we felt and hurt but to date we haven't been able to come up with any kind of explanation for what happened on that day.

Really interesting.

I do think that in the Euper area, though, they do end up doing a lot of weird flights.

And there is weird stuff out there.

Yeah, because that's all, that's just, they're looking at Canada.

Yeah, it's like out in the middle of nowhere out there.

Yeah, there's nothing going on.

This is also where they're trying to get their Bigfoot photos from.

Yes.

Also, I have

let's just say, guys, I've seen some attempts to get the one pound of weed prize from Side Stories for the actual

actual picture of Bigfoot.

And I got to say, well, I do appreciate what I've received so far.

Nothing good enough?

No.

And I will say I've also, I want to get a real picture of a Bigfoot.

Lie to me.

Get me, get it in there.

I need a good one.

Okay.

Also, though, you know what I did get?

What?

It wasn't a video.

It was a testimony.

And I asked for this for a long time.

I asked for somebody to film a video of them twerking and turning on a clapper.

He did it with his mantits and his belly.

Whoa!

Yes, but we don't have the video.

Send this to me.

SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com.

If that was you, I forgot who sent that email.

If that was you, I need the C video of that.

They said he flapped his man tits and he flapped his belly and he activated the clapper.

See, I think that's worth at least an eighth.

I think that's better.

We're not giving those guys weed.

I mean, they need it.

But that's different.

If he's flapping his titties and turning the fucking clapper on and off, I'll give him an eighth of weed.

Okay.

I'm with you then.

Half an eighth.

Yeah, two eighths.

Two eighths.

Yeah.

But you got to come get it in town.

You get a pound.

You get a pound if you give us a full picture of you of Bigfoot.

And you have to pick it up in California because we can't mail a pound of weed to wherever you live.

No, not anymore.

Yeah, unfortunately.

No, we're too big now.

Yeah.

Go to the Humboldt Show.

You're bringing weed to us.

Yeah.

On that Humboldt show.

That'll be really easy for us to just transfer it to one person to the next.

Yeah.

Because some guy will be in front of you and give us a pound of weed and

hand it to the next guy.

All right, here we go.

One more.

One more of this.

This is about a child wedding.

Oh, great.

So I was listening to the children.

Thank God we didn't do that enough earlier.

I have quite an interesting story about a marriage that also almost happened between a grown man and a child.

I used to work at a five-star hotel in California, and it was a very popular venue for high-end weddings and events.

I was at group sales, so I dealt with the clientele when it came to weddings and other groups.

One day we had a man of a certain nationality come with his fiancée to inquire about having their wedding at our hotel.

We went through all the details with them and she seemed very interested and excited for the wedding and how we were going to put it on for them.

They were planning it for about a year for a year out and we spent that year sending emails and exchanging phone calls planning this whole wedding for both of them.

I spoke with them and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

That is until the week of the wedding came and everybody started checking in.

They had about four days worth of festivities planned and other events with the third day being the main wedding.

What the fuck, dude?

It's like that Bezos shit.

What do these guys do when they're all acting like fucking disgusting?

I had a four-day thing for my wedding.

No, talking about like a real four-day thing.

We went to like a fucking theme park car.

Yeah.

Yeah, but that was, no, you didn't rent out the theme park.

No.

That's what they're talking about.

You told everyone to go.

Yes.

We should have rented out the theme park.

That would have been.

You're right.

I should have.

That would have been cool.

Now, I...

It started getting a little weird for dinners.

Things started to get a little weird.

When for dinners and the other events, the lady who had been talking to seemed to be sitting nowhere near the groom and was acting like more of an assistant.

We chalked it up as a cultural thing and didn't think anything of it.

This is when racism works against us, guys.

This is when racism, your lack of race, you know, like you're really trying to be accepting.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It's racism.

It's, you know, it's anti-racist.

It's trying not to be racist.

Yes, unfortunately, sometimes it backfires.

Now,

that's what they do.

And so

when the day of the wedding comes, one of our staff members goes to find the bride to ask her if there's anything else that she needs last minute.

They went up to the suite and noticed that she was not wearing a wedding dress, and we had no indication of her wearing one as she had already put together, she was all put together in another outfit.

Our staff member happened to go to the suite at the same time as the photographer and noticed that there was a very young-looking girl wearing what seemed to be a wedding dress, and the woman who had been talking to this the whole time was just wearing formal attire.

The staff member approached me and a manager and told us what she saw.

As hospitality workers, we have been trained to ask forgiveness rather than permission when it comes to situations like this in case of human trafficking issues.

We come to find out that this is an arranged marriage between her parents and the gentleman who we've been dealing with.

Apparently, in certain situations, as long as there is certain consent and court approval, this can happen.

We immediately shut the wedding down and told him that there is absolutely no way we were allowing this to happen at the hotel.

The man had to be in his 40s and the girl was no older than 12.

However, because there are certain documents and consents in place, the police could do nothing.

The only thing that we could do was refuse their service.

God bless America.

You know what it is, is that, because that's what they do, that's what the Mormons do that marry their children.

Really?

They bump from, they'll go from Utah to Nevada because you can do it.

You can go and get like one of those like male and...

Do you want to marry a child in Nevada?

There's no, I believe the term, it's like, it's something like this.

It's not that there's no age of consent, but they can get away with it for religious purposes and because they're getting married.

Oh.

Because you can, you can have sex with a child in Utah as long as it's your wife, Eddie.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

I remember the Courtney Stodden thing always freaked me out.

When she was 16 and married that 40-year-old, you know, her parents like signed her over.

Yeah.

And like the worst part about all of that is how the internet acted.

No one fucking went after him.

They all went after her.

Oh, it just trashed her.

Yeah.

And she was like some fucking girl who like was forced into like having like, you know,

surgeries and shit like that.

Yeah, no, it's not good, dude.

Yeah, no, it's not good.

It's now, of course, they're divorced, you know, because, you know, she got old enough to do it.

Yeah, marriages don't last.

Yes.

It's so hard.

Yeah.

You know, you got to talk to your child bride.

When you're talking to your child bride, and you're going to get like, like, live every day knowing that when you're talking to your child bride, you're going to have to teach her about the world.

Okay.

And you're going to, you can't leave stuff out.

And you got to, you got to love her with all your heart, right?

Because she doesn't have parents anymore because you took them from her right so you just gotta make sure you and your child bride you can laugh all the way to jail together when you try to defend him with violence against the police when they come and raid your compound Wow Art so you got to be 18 to get married in California under 18 requires consent from at least one parent or guardian so that means one parent could be like if you have a crazy father he could just be like yeah sure that's exactly what they do wow yeah but also you know it's uh it's not good

you know marriage yeah

all that hassle going to get married yeah well it's your child it should be hard to get married it really should be it should be well no and well yeah it's much harder to get divorced than get married oh yes oh yeah no it's way easy to get married i mean the fact that i've married five people five couples is crazy it's pretty easy i shouldn't be allowed to do it oh yeah but i've done it wow we really uh we i was really hoping we were going to get this fucking verdict yeah it didn't happen no so you got to get you guys just got a longer episode I'm literally just sitting here in this episode, hoping that the verdict arrives.

But first, patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

You could pay to watch us do this.

Yeah, so tomorrow it's going to happen.

Oh, he's coming, or did they say that?

They make the announcement?

Well, Diddy left the court already.

Oh, wow.

So he's not even there.

Okay, well.

So, yeah, so it's going to happen tomorrow.

Oh, well, fuck.

I'm looking at TMZ.

That's who I always talk about.

We'll do this.

God, fuck.

God, fuck.

Side stories curse.

Fuck that.

Yeah, so this will come out.

You guys will be like, why aren't they talking about it?

You You know, why aren't they doing it?

Yeah, so we'll find out.

So sick of this job.

Yeah, the diddler.

Get on my special.

Get on my fucking Schedule up.

One more day.

What the fuck?

One more day for this guy.

God bless America.

I hope they find out on July 4th.

AI should replace jurors.

Yeah.

They go faster than that.

That's a great idea, Henry.

Thank you so much.

Come see Side Stories Live.

We got shows coming up Friday, July 11th.

We're going to be in Jordan Landing, Utah, right outside of Salt Lake City at Wise Guys Comedy Club.

We're doing the late show at 9.30 in the main room.

We're going to have so much fun, man.

We really are.

We're going to get real nasty, by the way.

Just so you know, we have to, we did a bunch of promo work for a Salt Lake City Radio DJ with a really great guy, Victor.

Victor Wilt.

Victor Wilt, great DJ over there.

And he said that it was unplayable due to their standards.

So we are going to release that somewhere.

He put it on his YouTube, but that's hilarious that if our commercial.

for our show can't be on the radio.

That's got to mean something.

Yeah, we're going to be in an amphitheater.

I wonder, you know, what your police are like.

Let us know.

Should we be scared of them?

Like, are you allowed to have public opinions?

Because it's going to get hairy on Friday and Saturday in Salt Lake City next week.

So come check us out then.

August 7th, Asheville at the Orange Peel.

Sold out.

Sold out.

Fucking sold out.

That's your way.

Yes, baby.

I hope I can still get my friends in.

I told them not to buy tickets.

You're a piece of shit.

Okay.

No, we'll get them in.

We'll get them in.

Yeah, we'll sneak them in.

All right.

September 21st, that's a Sunday.

We're going to be at Kansas City, Missouri at the Truman.

October 24th, Redway, California at the Matteo Community Center.

Still waiting for those tickets to actually be available, but it is happening on that day.

Sunday, November 30th, we're in Columbus, Ohio at the Newport Music Hall.

And of course, I got a couple shows that I'd love to promo real quick.

On August 21st, I'm going to be at the Elysian doing Dead Men Tell Some Tales, a dark dive into Disney history with my buddy Disney Dan Becker.

You're going to want to check that out.

That's at 7:30.

Tickets are at eddytoons.com.

And on August 29th, during our break, I'm going to be in Cincinnati at the Reingeist Hall, beer hall.

I'm going to be doing some shows with my buddies out there, Wayne Murmont and Billy DeVore.

And I'm very excited for that.

That's blast.

Tickets are already going really fast for that.

Apparently, we're like 70% sold out already.

So jump on that if you want to go.

Tickets are available at eddytoons.com.

Yeah, fuck at it.

Go check out all our new YouTube channels someplace underneath at LPN TV forward report LPN Romantic Sea and who's the bee come check it out also go look at the replay of who's the bee's bitchathon apparently I'm pretty wise I don't know if that's true I crushed it on there good job buddy I'm proud of you I gave good advice yeah you never say anything difficult or wrong I

I changed for the show

for the show I did give some legit advice I feel like it was pretty good oh you're being serious I was trying to oh that's nice I tried but also sometimes what I was saying you just got to blow shit up.

Fuck yeah.

That's why sometimes you got to just blow up that relationship and just let it go.

Just fucking rip it to pieces and see how it goes.

Jackie hates you now?

No.

Hell yeah.

No one hates me.

I'm Teflon.

Hail Satan.

Hail.

Um.

God, who was decent in this?

I can't wait till we see who's next.

Laboo Boo.

Hail Labooboo.

No, don't hit Laboo.

I like Laboo Boo.

No, Labooboo's got a hold on people.

Labooboo's chewed.

No, Labooboo means Labooboo's China's listening to us.

I love Laboo Boo.

I am Mr.

Labooboo.

No, the China, the guy, Labooboo's got it.

Labooboo's gonna take over.

Got you, Laboo Boo's peace.

I am your Laboo Boo.

Yes, Bazoozoo Laboo Boo.

Hail Bazoozoo and Laboo Boo.

Hey, listeners.

Marcus Edd and Henry here with a little bit of an announcement.

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Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

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