Side Stories: Movie Stories III
Listen and follow along
Transcript
This episode is brought to you by FX's Alien Earth, the official podcast.
Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast, and crew, in this exclusive companion podcast.
They will explore the story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode-by-episode behind-the-scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series.
Search FX's Alien Earth wherever you listen to podcasts.
The thought of getting a degree can be straight up terrifying.
We get it.
But Southern New Hampshire University makes it easier than you'd think.
They have over 200 degrees you can earn online.
No set class times, so your social life stays alive and well.
And low online tuition that won't scare your bank account.
College doesn't have to be a horror story.
Visit snhu.edu slash last podcast to get started.
That's snhu.edu slash last podcast.
There's no place to escape to.
This is the last podcast on the left.
Side stories?
That's when the cannibalism started.
Side stories.
Yes.
I mean, I want Lois Lane getting her pussy eaten out by the super dog.
I want the fuck.
I mean, that's a lot.
I want Superman fucking having sex with the green lantern giving himself four butts.
Yeah.
That's the only way I'm watching these movies.
Yeah.
Is that I need multiple, I need the other guys from Wakanda arriving and they're fucking having fun.
And they're kissing and they're sucking in their fucking head.
Everybody's kissing.
I think that also it's like if Spider-Man had a hole in the suit and he could shoot webs out of his suit.
He does have a hole in the suit.
Yeah, he doesn't shoot webs.
No, but it comes on magically.
The suit comes on magically and he's got a hat.
I think if he could shoot webs out of the wrist of his suit, he could shoot webs out of the cock of his suit.
Oh, yeah.
But he doesn't ever because everybody's leaving money on the table.
No, it's because they're weak and they're stupid, and it's why superhero movies are never going to properly cut the muscle.
Somebody's upset.
I'm not upset.
Sounds like you're upset.
No, this is me having fun.
This is you having fun?
This is me.
I'm scared of your fun.
You should be.
You should be because my fun doesn't leave any stone unturned.
My fun does not leave any bridge unburnt.
I like my superhero movies, but I understand that they have no place in this conversation.
Exactly.
Because we are talking about movies about aliens today.
Welcome to Side Stories.
Yes.
My name is Henry Zabrowski.
I'm sitting here with Edward Larson.
Oh no, I'm so big.
Really good.
Thank you.
And I'm also working on it.
It got us all sick.
We're all dying here.
And we're also sitting here with my fetid, strange, little DNA runoff, Jackie Zabrowski.
It's me, it's me.
I'm all gloopy and sloopy.
Oh, no, am I the alien?
I'm not.
I'm a girl
but we still don't understand your parts no and you never will and you have no idea where my tentacles are going to come out from but don't worry they always come out at the wrong time you know what i've heard actually uteruses do come from venus yeah like plop down in the water the first woman crawled out of the indian ocean this is true yeah um as just a uterus with fins interesting and then slowly but surely those fins turned into tits and turned into a head the most important parts yes no tits were first.
Yeah.
Well, the uterus was first.
I mean, obviously.
How do you get
humans?
And then you got the boot, which is the butt.
Yes.
And then the head.
Ute and the boot.
And then the tits.
Oh, the tits are fourth and fifth.
All together at once.
This is not what today's episode is about.
It could be.
Today's episode is about.
I'll talk about Utes and Boots.
I love Utes and Boots.
Tell me about it.
That's my new store.
That's my new Western gear store.
Utin and boot.
You know what I mean?
If you're Utin, you better a boot.
Yes.
We are actually going to...
Utin is what women should call just living.
Yeah.
We are talking about alien movies.
Every day I'm utin and utin and utin and every day I'm utin and utin and mutin.
The reason why we're talking about alien movies is because we are headed towards contact in the desert.
And we love film here.
We've talked about film several times as a triptych.
And I think that Eddie brought this up.
I think it's good to talk about alien movies because I think even amongst sci-fi films within the sci-fi genre you would call the alien film its own part of the genre yeah they lean into horror sometimes sometimes exactly sometimes they lean into discovery like because like for me the gamut of alien movies goes from like closer encounters of the third kind to alien to things like Mac and me yes
like that like what was the one with the
the other one with the guy uh gossip jr.
Oh, Blues Gossett Jr.
Enemy Mine, Enemy Mine, Enemy Mine.
Another good alien movie.
Yeah, that one scared the shit out of me when I was a kid.
It's fucking weird.
Stargazer.
It was Starman.
Starman went down.
Yeah.
Which is great.
The man who fell to the world.
Felt a nerve.
Yeah, it felt,
which is, but then that's, again, this.
conversation really it depends on what we're defining alien as here.
So here's what I want to I want to say.
First of all, no comic books, no Marvel, no DC.
No, those
don't count.
You're saying that, and you said, and up top, you said, no superhero movies.
No.
But I do have one that I feel like could ebb
both genres.
Let's talk about it.
And that is, yeah, I said ebb.
Just go with it.
Ebb like it's a web, okay?
Like it's being spread, like its legs are being spread like a web.
I'm still thinking about the holes in the webs, okay?
Webs have legs?
Meteor man.
Meteor man.
Meteor man.
Meteor man.
It's not a superhero movie.
But it is a
superhero movie, but it is also an alien movie.
But I feel that that is a movie that encompasses both.
Meteor Man's fun, but Pluto Nash can go fuck.
Couldn't generally go.
Pluto Nash could suck my dick.
Yes, but Meteor Man is great.
That is the...
So you decided, of all of the films in the history of film, you went back and picked Meteor Man.
I love Meteor Man.
Is he an alien?
It is because
he's not an alien.
No, he touches a comet.
That comes down.
But then here's the thing.
Okay, this is what my my question to you guys is.
Is it still an alien?
No.
It is a meteorite that comes down to the automatic, but it is from outer space.
No, it needs to be its own alien.
All right, its own alien.
I am.
Hey, this is a conversation.
No, we're talking.
You're coming in defensive.
I'm asking the question because then, alien, right?
Yeah.
Foreign things coming into your country.
Is he an alien?
No, time traveling.
Time traveling, but also an alien.
Looper's not an alien.
He's from an alien movie.
It's not.
No, you're just saying the word.
No, no, no, no.
But some aliens could be us from the future, Henry.
Different.
But I'm just saying, guys, no, no, no.
We immediately went off off the rail.
I'm here.
This is not just aliens.
Because if it's going to be alien, it's Star Wars, no Star Trek.
I don't care about those.
No, we will do.
Yeah, no, we will do an immigrant film.
I want an immigrant film zero thing.
I would love to do it.
We will, but that's not today.
But I only want to talk about Austin Powers when we do it.
But he's also technically a federal employee.
Yeah, and he's not.
He doesn't easily be funded.
He works for the Brits.
He's not an American citizen.
No, he's a British spy.
Yeah, but he never swears in.
But most of the movies take place in London.
Yeah.
Oh, Jolio.
You went down the wrong path immediately at the very top of this poll.
You know what it was?
It was because last night I received the assignment late.
And let's say I had had quite a few hogs legs at this point, and I started laughing to myself.
And you are talking about pork and not weed.
Yeah, obviously, yeah.
I'm jumping, I'm grabbing, I'm gnashing.
She can tell the fat content goes up in her blood when she gets the rosation.
Yeah, baby.
And I'm all flush, but not with the horn.
I'm flushed with the space.
But are we flushed with the space balls?
And how do you feel about Barf being considered an alien?
This is the thing.
Again, we were trying to say no Star Wars either.
I think Space Balls is out.
Yes.
Okay.
I think, actually, here about how about this.
Movies that take place in outer space are out.
Well, unless they specifically involve an alien, they're not an alien in outer space.
But Mom and Dad Save the World, if you think about it, that is human beings then going.
So then the humans are the aliens.
It still is an alien-centered film.
I would say Mom and Dad Save the World is an alien-centered film.
That is an alien movie.
They're on an alien.
Part of it's on Earth.
And part of it's on Earth, and they go up there.
That has the
child molester and the other guy who's a woman in that?
Yeah, Chester Chester.
Chester Chester?
Child Molester.
No, that's the guy.
Patty Pirty.
Patty Perkins.
Patty Perkins.
Yep.
So here's some other aliens.
These are actual alien films.
Terry Guard.
Terry Gardner.
Terry Guard.
R.I.P.
And so I typed an alien film, and this is what comes up.
Yes.
makes sense.
Galaxy Quest, I don't count.
I put some of my favorite.
Because it's in space.
They don't ever go to Earth.
I mean, I do sort of, I see what he's saying.
It's like a fantasy film.
So you don't have to.
I think it's more like Lord of the Rings than E.T.
What about aliens?
And what about alien?
Because alien does take place on the Nostromo.
And it's very...
That's not an alien.
It is an alien movie.
But it is.
You know what it makes it an alien movie?
It's all humans versus alien.
Sure.
I can actually see that too.
I feel the same way with
the species.
Ooh, yeah.
Yeah,
yeah.
Species is fun.
I mean,
that's on Earth.
Spicy.
Yeah, yeah.
Good fuck movie.
And that's a good fuck movie.
Where is my good old-fashioned fuck movie?
That's not baby girl.
Ugh.
Yeah, baby girl sucks.
Natalie and I tried to watch it, and it had the opposite.
No, it's not.
It had the opposite effect.
No, I think it was very demeaning to women, and we'll get into it on a different podcast.
Yeah, on the immigrant podcast where women are immigrants.
I would love to have a kink conversation with both of you.
No, it's not.
It's not demeaning.
It's all it's completely.
She still needs a man.
Okay.
She still needs a dude.
If she was completely independent, she could have sex with a vacuum.
She should have fired his fucking ass.
Yeah, she'd been like, fuck you.
Don't you disrespect me.
I'm the boss.
You guys know so much more about the female experience than I do, and I appreciate you both.
Now,
you're not an expert here.
I feel.
In this room.
So then, but then I'd love to talk about alien comedies because I didn't realize.
In thinking about all of these alien movies, I realize as a whole, I am way more scared of space in general than I am of individual aliens.
That's why you grip on Jeff so hard?
Yeah, because he's got a big space.
No, you're scared of him leaving.
And leaving space.
But also, I'm scared of the gravity going away and me just being sucked up into the universe.
But that's just, you know, you got to grip onto the ones that you love.
Yes.
I am.
You wear a space belt.
Yeah.
You wouldn't drift into space.
Well, no, that's to keep my space pants up.
No, to the space pants.
Or attacks.
Yeah.
It's all attached.
Yeah, yeah, it's all attached, baby.
I wanted wanted to talk about Cone Heads, and I wanted to talk about Earth Girls Are Easy.
I had to see somebody take a sandwich like that since my mom.
Yeah.
Cone Heads is amazing.
Cone Heads.
It's a wonderful movie.
Now, last night, I was with some friends, and we were going to watch Earth Girls Are Easy because of this prompt, but then we had the conversation of does it hold up?
We didn't end up, we talked about it for so long, we didn't end up watching the movie.
But then in talking through it, that I was like, I think it still holds up.
When was the last time you watched Earth Girls Are Easy?
25 years.
Yeah, it's been a really long time.
And I remember I loved it.
Yeah, I loved those things.
Well, think about the fact that Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and I believe Damon Wayans are the three aliens in that movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And
they do it.
That was stacked because I wondered about the time they did Once Bitten.
But you know what?
To be honest, I am not a fan of the 80s screwball sex comedy.
I am kind of over it.
Earth Girls Are Easy is very much a screwball sex comedy more than anything else.
Oh, yeah.
And I, like, because I like, I want my alien movies, for the most part, to have a touch of, like, you can go to fantasy, like, Flight of the Navigator.
Great.
I love Flight of the Navigator because it both is an adventure film.
I like all Florida movies.
All sure.
And, but, it's also this, it has a touch of why we're making a movie about an alien, which is we're introducing another way of thinking.
We are, we're going on, we're, we're expanding our experience in a way that we would never be able to get on our own.
And so there's something about Flight of the Navigator that to me is one of those,
that's a good example of the difference between that and Earth Girls Are Easy, which is just to see Gina Davis with no brawn.
Of course.
Is there a trauma that happens in Flight of the Navigator?
Because
I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I remember something about it that really made me very sad.
It's just all I remember.
All 80s child movies back in the day had a wonderful sense of what it actually was like to be a kid, which is sad, which is and dangerous.
Yeah, and scary.
Yeah, they would allow things to be sad.
They would allow things to be scary for kids, unlike now where they're not allowed to feel any emotion.
So they are now obviously everything's all saccharine and everything's all about
everything's fine or whatever.
Yeah.
But it's like, this stuff is like, it's nice.
You just remember this because it felt like, because the kid was genuinely on his own.
Yeah.
And you know,
well, that and he was hanging out with the alien who became like real friends with.
Yes.
right and then what the the trauma is they tried to take his friend from him.
Yeah, and so maybe just as a kid in seeing that it just really I and I haven't seen it since and I was also thinking about watching last night and I was like I feel like I just remember a profound sadness in watching this.
It's called nostalgia.
It's got ET.
It's got the ET vibe.
It's got the Mac and me vibe where you become friends and someone wants to steal your friend.
And one of my hardest things about like truly about E.T., which I'll always kind of like, I am thankful that they have gone ahead and, I guess, re-put the guns back in.
Yes.
I believe that they did that.
You can watch either version.
When they took the guns out of the movie,
in the end, like Spielberg went back.
He wanted to make sure it was good for kids or whatever.
CGI'd E.T.
a little bit, like him hopping over logs and shit like that.
But they did a sheen over it.
It was really funny.
And they show his little legs.
So bad.
Yeah, he looks like Kermit.
Oh, but I love Kermit's little legs when they show his legs.
I do too, but it's different than when it's E.T.
And so it's like, but that was like one of those things where I watched that and I was like, when you take the guns out of their hands, I know why you're doing it, but you're also removing the stakes.
Yes.
Yes.
You're removing what this is really about.
If you remove the stakes, I ain't coming.
Why not?
Why about you?
Why about you?
Yeah, I know.
E.T., but yeah,
they re-released it, but now you can watch the older version if you get your hands on it, I believe.
But E.T.
is like, I still very much, obviously, I like it.
is an an unbelievable film.
Now, how about this?
or close encounters?
Close encounters.
Close encounters.
Every time.
Yeah.
I think I go E.T., actually.
Really?
I think close encounters is like, if you're like Henry and you're a bigger fan of aliens in general, it's got the lore, all of it.
It's got the research.
Also, the idea that maybe Spielberg, like, this is where I love the conspiracy edge too, because Spielberg, at the time, he had government consultants working on that movie.
Yes.
Jacques Villais, who was one of my, obviously, one of my favorite theoreticians, my favorite alien thinkers,
he was also a consultant on the movie.
He's portrayed as a character within the movie, the French guy.
Yes.
In Close Encounters of the Third Kind, is based off of that guy.
And so Spielberg technically was told many times that this was like, that's why there's a lot of conspiracy.
Was there Ship in the Desert something that actually happened?
No, but the idea of the U.S.
government coming up with a communication protocol to talk with something that doesn't speak is actually, I guess, like part of the government research he got that he
like slipped into the movie.
I'm sorry, you mean like like arrival, like like what happens in arrival, that that's what
basically the idea of using tones, like when he does the whole like the they talking to the aliens, right?
That came from a government
concept of if we are approached by by another species or something from outer space,
how do we communicate?
Whoa.
And so that is what's awesome.
That's what's awesome.
And then
I feel like that's almost Steven Spielberg's crowning achievement is Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
And it's just, the end's beautiful.
It's wonderful.
I love with, by the way, there's going to be spoilers in this
video.
If you're going to see Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
I don't know why.
I think we're going to be loose-lipped for the rest of the episode.
Oh,
yeah.
I think that you should know that there will be some spoilers ahead.
But at the end, with the aliens, when he got the who he got little girls to portray the aliens, he liked all the little aliens at the end, you know how they're walking around, they're all like chill girls.
Why?
Because he liked the way they moved, he liked the way they like were gentle and like and stuff like that.
Yeah, they're all little kids.
He didn't want people to be scared of them, he wanted people to like be enamored with them.
And so they're all cast as they're all little girls.
What is more enamoring than the movement of a little girl?
Nothing is more, nothing makes me more filled with amor.
Nobody ever said they want to fuck with those cameras.
I am
deeply, deeply at my feet to the movement of a little girl.
Is that the guy you're saying?
Jacques Belay.
Oh, God.
Yeah, Jacques Belay actually was the first person to sing that song.
And also, Spielberg, we got to mention War of the Worlds.
I think that War of the Worlds, we talked about this right before we started recording, is a sleeper, fantastic movie.
I really like it, but I think that it lost its cock at the end of the movie.
It did.
You know, when they let the kid, when they didn't kill the son,
they should have killed that motherfucker.
Kill him right off.
He's an idiot.
Show people that there's consequences for your fucking idiot actions.
I agree.
You know, there should be more kids.
There needs to die in blanks.
I've talked about this.
Kill the child.
Let the kids know that if you fuck up, you die in the film.
You die.
You dead, dude.
All right.
Tom Cruise is not coming back.
He's five foot two.
He's not going to protect you.
All right.
He doesn't care.
He's out there looking for a dick to suck, but they're not here to protect you, little boy.
No, or a fish to suck his dick.
It depends on what he's looking for.
And he, or maybe he was a namelord with the activities
of a little girl.
Oh, yeah.
Here it comes, full circle.
The fish is the woman.
Wow.
Yeah.
Where are your gills?
They're underneath my flaps.
Yep.
Remember, you, tips, gills,
head, then, but.
The gills come seventh in importance.
It depends on how you look at the gills and how much you want to stick your dick inside of them.
You're already talking.
He already brought up Predator.
Give us a lot of prompts, Eddie.
You guys have to do that.
You got some working on.
Well, Predator, I mean, well, first of all, we talked about Arrival.
Let's talk about Arrival.
So that's the first contact film.
Yeah.
Well, I'd almost say it's his own genre itself, itself, even amongst alienation.
So I have...
All right.
Then let's go back even further.
Alien abduction versus alien invasion versus alien contact.
Yes.
There's three different things here.
Yes.
There's three different things going on here.
I think alien abduction
are...
horror movies.
Yes.
Alien invasion are action movies.
And alien contacts are kind of like drama.
That's actually really, that's a very good breakdown.
Yeah.
It's a very, very good breakdown because it's true.
All the alien abduction movies, Dark Skies,
there's a communion.
They all have an edge of the horror to it, which is the truth of being space raped.
And also
being brought to an unknown place.
That's already very upsetting, and you never get taken to a second location.
I know these things.
We know these things.
But abductions are also, I'm trying to think of, like, my mind, I'm trying to think of a, you know what's a positive alien abduction movie?
What?
Well, do they get abducted?
Well, sorta.
That's an invasion.
They come and they put the eggs in the pool.
And the old people.
Are they all aliens at the time?
I don't remember Cocoon.
Cocoon, they come.
It's an old person's home and they show up.
They're all like a bunch of fucking weird eggs in the bottom of the pool.
You know, and there's like these giant eggs in the pool, and they're trying to figure out what it is.
And then all of a sudden, like, they all get powerful.
Am I wrong that I just remember this being very, very boring, but I haven't seen it sit for a very long time?
I went to
the theater.
Yeah, I remember loving it as a kid.
I like being into this with you.
But I also, i mean dama michi so much fun brian denah he wilford grimly i mean like this is trying to find this movie now by the way it's really out of print and it's not streaming anywhere really
yeah apparently it's like selling very high on ebay that's so funny i thought it was why it was a ron howard movie that's on it's an unit's like a forgotten classic i get i mean look at the cast like yeah i know that you you guys don't know if you're younger than the age of 35.
the boot and the goot i mean get you there dude if you're younger than the the age of 35, there used to be a thing called character actors.
What they used to do is they used to have people that look like people you'd meet on the street, but they'd be actors and they'd be in things.
And one of those things.
And now we just don't get jobs.
They just don't.
Well, they just don't.
You either have to be deformed
or you have to.
And they're only going to make so many mask movies.
There's only so many.
You get one fat girl movie a year.
Yep.
That's how you get it.
If you don't get it at that, well, shit out of luck.
Sorry about it.
We already put a fat one in.
And so this one had, you know, who is huge?
It's Don Amici.
Don Amici is an amazing character actor.
I believe was also in Batteries Not Included.
I think he was.
Batteries Not Included was an amazing movie.
Not an alien movie.
Yes, it is.
Oh, it is.
Oh, I was thinking of short circuit because I was looking at Batteries Not Included and I was looking at short circuit movies.
Short circuit's not an alien.
Short circuit's not an alien movie.
No, that's a good one.
We will do a robot.
Come to life movie.
That's Robot Come to Life movie.
We will do a Robot Climate.
Just like that's Chappie is short circuit and uh batteries not included is more district nine that's fascinating right down as well yes 100 yeah i show me you know what's funny god we love
we love batteries i do love batteries unincluded live from northwest
this podcast is brought to you by squarespace whether you're just starting out or scaling your business Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.
And I will not be destroyed by these children that keep purchasing my businesses yes i have lost horsepicks.com and yes currently i am in a for some form of tete a tete with putin's daughter who purchased umupaintings.com so now i'm a man alone who's decided i'm out of the sales business yeah i'm starting a new website it's called henry zaprowski's feet.com and that's because i'm sick of wikiphedia going out there and slandering my good name on my my feet.
All right, my feet are good, and this is all I have.
So you need it, support me and Squarespace.
Squarespace makes it all possible, it makes the podcast possible.
Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid.
Squarespace domains make it easier to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price.
No hidden fees or add-ons required.
Head to squarespace.com/slash left for a free trial when you're ready to launch.
Use offer code LEFT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
When was the last time money stressed you out?
Made you feel guilty?
Jealous?
Money can make us feel a lot of things.
But what if it made you feel hopeful?
Get more out of your money and start building a better future with Acorns.
Normally, I would tell you to get all of your money out of a bank, buy gold, and bury it in a field because that's the only way money's gonna matter when the grids go down.
But Acorns is the financial wellness app that helps you invest for your future.
Save for tomorrow and spend smarter today.
Acorns makes it easy to start doing more with your money.
Lot like me, where I want to put my money in a big pile and burn it so I can smell the smoke and get high on George Washington's blood.
You don't need to be a finance whiz to understand Acorns.
Acorns puts your money into an expert-built portfolio to make sure you're investing wisely, not wildly,
and it's an easy-to-use app.
Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with $5 bonus investment.
Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns.
Head to acorns.com slash left or download the Acorns app to get started.
Paid non-client endorsement.
Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns.
Tier 2 compensation provided.
Investing involves risk.
Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor.
New important disclosures at acorns.com/slash left.
You ever picked a vacation spot based in where you don't need a phrase book?
Yeah, it's called my home.
With Babel, the language barrier no longer has to hold you back.
Start speaking a new language with confidence, thanks to Babel's conversation-based technique that quickly teaches you to use useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in the real world, like guillotines.
There's over a dozen languages available to learn at your own pace, so you can achieve your goals with material tailored to your individual proficiency level, interests, and time availability.
You ever been with this guy?
He's going,
Where's your daughter?
Where's your wife?
Where's your daughter?
Where's your wife?
And you're like, sir, please, no, please leave me alone.
I think Odone esta suposa es doni esta uh su niña.
And you're like, whoa, I think I know that Spanish.
Thanks, Babel.
Because you learned it.
Because of Babel.
Go check it out.
It's easy to do.
It's on your computer.
It's on your phone.
It's not like you ought to go some other place.
It's right there in front of you.
You can just go get it.
Better.
Because if you don't, I'm coming for you.
Learn another language.
Babel is gifting our listeners 55% off subscriptions at babble.com slash left.
Get up to 55% off at babble.com slash left.
That's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash left.
Babble.com slash left.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
What I think is important when we talk about this dumb stuff, right?
Like we're sitting here, partially, it's obviously we're having fun on the show and we like talking about movies, but it really is important, I think, to filmmakers.
And I've heard this said in filmmaking class, which is the idea of know your genre.
It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about the movie if you know
what the genre of the movie is as the maker.
And so that perspective changes everything.
And it really requires, I think, unfortunately, the real education of a filmmaker is watching movies and identifying what are the telltale signs of very specific genres.
Because then what you can do is, if you're a really good filmmaker, you can manipulate the traditional chapters of a genre film to tell stories.
But it's important to know those very traditional chapters.
Right.
And that they are very distinct versions of movies.
And it's funny until you start to really pick them all apart to see like there really is entire veins of, you could see producers in the 80s saying the having kind of dumb ass conversations like this that are actually extremely important to the art.
Absolutely.
I mean, it's alien movies are very deep.
They're way deeper than you think they are.
Oh, yeah.
You know,
a lot of times they reflect society, which I think is really fucking cool.
Well, that's also the best part of horror and genre.
I feel like horror as a genre is one of the best.
Same thing with sci-fi.
Sci-fi and horror are such a great entertaining way to deliver ideas as well, especially sci-fi.
Sci-fi is like, that's why in the end I love sci-fi, is because it delivers cool concepts in an entertaining way.
I like District 9 is kind of about apartheid.
Very much so.
I love that.
District 9 is so good.
I love District 9.
I feel like that movie, people, I hear a lot of people say they don't like it.
I know it's because he lost the pull.
I think the director himself kind of lost it.
It got nominated for Best Picture.
But the rest of his movies were not for Elysium.
I love Wisdom.
I lie Chappie.
I'm a Chappie sympathizer.
I hate it.
But District 9 was very good.
And it has great rewatchability.
I have
a lot of times.
Chappie, you ruined that for me.
There's a sequel coming.
Of Chappie?
Chappy?
District.
Not District 9.
I've been working on it for like 10 years.
Yeah, District 69.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, fuck yeah, Darius.
No, man, flip it upside down.
Pussy, dude.
They're fucking eat your product.
I'm gonna slap you.
Fucking skin you
take your shell off.
I'm sitting in your spot on your little legs.
No, but pussy's my asshole.
I want to bring up a movie that I, it was one of the first movies I thought of when you said alien movies, and it was one of my favorites as a child, and that was Purple People Eater.
One eye one, one, Purple People Eater.
One eye one, one, Purple People Leader.
Do you remember the movie?
Absolutely.
I was obsessed with that movie.
We all were.
Slap sick
children.
So weird.
And I feel like that's why, in going back through, I have so many more memories.
And I don't know if it was because I was born in the late 80s of Zaney alien movies.
Like, when I think alien movies, first, also, one of the first things I thought of, Little Shop of Horrors.
That's more of where my brain goes.
Yes, it is.
I guess that is an alien movie.
And it's an alien, very much an alien movie.
It's from outer space.
It's a trimming.
I think, yeah, I think of like, you know, a Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I think of
a movie.
Yeah.
They're aliens from the planet Transylvania.
Oh, yeah.
It's not a Frankenstein movie.
No.
Oh, interesting.
I mean, there's part of the movie.
Have you never seen Rocky Horror?
I have, but I'm always hammered.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is, it's so,
I think that, like, having, I would love to do a big, like, go and do like an experience.
I've never actually gone to it.
I've done it a couple times.
It's a lot of fun.
Yeah.
It's a lot of fun.
I have friends that do it.
in uh they've like they do it regularly and it yeah it sounds like a blast i just never i've never i never fell went upon it in Phoenix when I was by myself at midnight and I had one seat left.
It was amazing.
I had such a great time.
Yeah, yeah.
Little Shop of Horrors is very good and really did scare me.
That, I think, scared me more than the original Alien did when I saw it Young, just because I
thought it could happen.
Like in a way that I think when I was a kid, I thought Alien could never happen, but Little Shop of Horrors could.
And I know that's very stupid.
They not going to be a little bit more.
Well, because you're in space and you can relate to New York.
You can't relate to a spaceship.
You're
scared of Event Horizon.
Yes, because we grew up in Skid Row.
Yo, Skid Row.
And I love Little Shop of Horrors.
You know, I think that I wonder what it is.
Maybe let's ask this question because I wonder if, again, if you're younger than 30, if you've experienced this, where when we were growing up, I remember being
vaguely traumatized by certain films when I was a kid that now I look at and are not
scary.
Right.
Well, you don't have restrictions on you, right?
You can watch anything.
Semi, sort of.
I mean, like, but it was the stuff that was interesting.
It was the stuff like,
you're showing us the look who's talking toilets.
You find the toilet.
That was look who's talking to, right?
I think so.
You know what mine was?
Give me your piece.
Give me your peace.
Yes.
You know what it was?
Mine was the opening sequence from Amazing Stories.
Oh.
The opening sequence from Amazing Stories that was the Steven Spielberg's basically Twilight Zone red TV show.
Yes.
That was truly pure.
Play this.
For some reason, it still brings chills to my fucking spine for some reason.
The song of it does.
Is that just...
No, this is a sexy scene.
This is a clip because it's a...
Remember that when he got the ring?
He buys the ring from the pawn shop.
Yes.
And it's Danny DeVito and Real Pearlman.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yes.
I don't know why this.
I remember this.
It freaks me out.
It's like, it literally makes all the hate.
I love it.
It shows you, like, this is like spaceship Earth.
It is.
It shows you the evolution of storytelling.
Something about the music and about the caveman being lost in the dark and then the top hat.
Top hat and magic.
Oh, those dirty magician liars.
I don't like their lying.
Life isn't an illusion.
Life is real, magician man.
I gotta watch that.
I haven't seen this legitimately since I was a child.
Amazing Stories really holds up.
Yeah.
I've watched a fuck ton of Twilight Twilight Zone movie.
They're all
except for the murder he committed.
It's actually, it's a fast turn.
It was not a murder.
It was an accidental death.
That is going to get...
They were being fast and loose.
That was something that was.
They were being fast and loose, but at the same time, they didn't kill anyone on purpose.
Unfortunately, it's just the idea that movies are supposed to be just so important that it doesn't matter what happens to anybody involved.
Like, that's like one of those things that I'll always sort of like, there's a bitter taste in my mouth because it led to the Rust stuff and it led to the Almo Brothers stuff with Sarah Brown and Sarah Jones.
And it led to all that stuff where it's like that idea that, you know, we're all, we need to be so thankful to be in this
industry that we can die for it.
But accidents do happen on any job.
I agree.
I agree.
It was mostly just everybody saying.
It's not like a line cook's never been dead, you know?
Well, most of the time a line cook is killed by an ex-stroll friend or someone else on staff.
That's different.
Again, they just are, they chose the life.
Line cook life chose them.
What are some recent alien films that you've seen?
Alien, obviously, you know, we're not talking about the alien series, but like a movies about aliens that you've seen.
I'll go first.
Last night, I wanted to prepare a little bit, so I put two on.
I didn't make it through the second second one, but I saw No One Will Save You, the Hulu original, new film.
Yes.
It's I.
That's I.
It was better than I thought it was going to be.
I wish I would have known that there's no dialogue in the movie.
Oh, my God.
That was, I remember I'm 30 minutes in, and I'm like, are they not talking?
Yeah.
Well, I got technically, Alien Romulus.
was fine.
I really liked it.
I liked it.
I liked it better than Prometheus.
That's
it.
Of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought that was fine.
I saw that one.
And then, is Dune an alien movie?
No.
No, Dune's in the Star Trek
genre of it.
I mean, it's a fantasy.
Have you ever seen Sputnik?
No.
Sputnik is a very good alien horror film.
Yeah.
Very, very good.
And there was another one about...
Remember that the Moon's Dangerous?
The one where they go up on the moon.
I want to say it's Apollo
like 19.
They made it a couple years ago.
Yes, Apollo, like 19.
They go to the moon.
I know that one.
They go to the moon, and it turns out the moon's got bugs on it.
It's got evil bugs on it.
Yeah,
it's called Apollo something.
It's Apollo something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's another one of the more recent movies.
Of course, Google's like, Apollo 13?
It's like, no.
No, I know what that is.
Yes, it's Apollo 11.
Is a quiet place an alien movie?
Yes.
They are aliens?
Alien invasion.
They are alien.
It's an alien invasion.
Okay.
Yeah,
very much so.
That quiet place prequel, whatever that other gun, that's hot garbage.
You're telling me the cat isn't going to meow one fucking time.
One time.
One meow out of that cat time.
You don't want to rip its larynx out?
The original one was pretty good.
I thought it was pretty good.
It's not, yeah, it didn't break the bank.
Do you know how many movies came out in a row about being quiet?
Yeah.
There was like five movies in a row about being quiet.
Nothing.
And you know which one won?
Don't breathe.
And don't breathe was obviously made for $2 million in Detroit.
It was so good.
And that is our Be Quiet film movie genre.
Episode 2.
place.
One thing I like about the quiet place, no cokeheads.
Sad.
Yeah, man.
They're not tweaking out loud enough.
10 Cloverfield Lane is fucking awesome.
Yes, in one of John Goodman's greatest roles.
Tragedy he didn't get nominated.
Yes.
He puts on a display of acting in that film.
I love 10.
It's one of the movies on my list.
I think it's one of my favorite alien films.
I love that movie.
Yeah, it's terrifying.
It's three different genres in one.
You know, it's like, it's a like a what, like a capture.
What would you call that?
Like a kidnapping film, I guess?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I would put it as a, I, you know what's funny?
It's in the Be Quiet movie category.
Yes, it is.
And we're saving it for that episode.
It's in the be quiet movie category.
Unfortunately, that's its own whole other thing.
Everybody's got to be quiet.
So how do you feel about...
Now, can I let out of the bag who we're going to interview at Contact of the Desert?
Of course.
We're going to interview Whitley Schreber at Contact in the Desert.
Very excited.
So I'm like, once I found out last night that Communion is actually about him, written by him, wrote the screenplay and the book.
Yes.
I got halfway through it.
I'm enjoying it, but it is a little silly.
It's dated for sure.
The Christopher Watkin thing, it is quite dated.
The aliens are definitely puppets.
There is a weird thing with Christopher Walker.
I like Walking in the movie.
Yes, but they are.
Christopher Watkins really gives in a very agenda.
I think these are behind the scenes.
This is from the movie.
Yes.
This is from the movie.
I didn't get to this part.
He dances like this in the movie.
He can't help it.
You know, it's like Sam Rockwell.
He's going to dance if he's in a film.
Yes.
You know, he used to be a dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So,
how do you feel about communion?
Is it accurate?
And then a follow-up question, Henry.
What is the most accurate movie about alien invasions that you or something like that that you would think of?
I personally think
the most accurate
is I love arrival.
Okay.
I love the idea of something truly alien that it is very difficult for us to understand.
Love that.
I think that's a part of what the main issue is, is that we expect these things to show up and we'd even recognize them.
Yes.
And then communion, you'd probably close to put the most directly like consulted by somebody that was abducted by aliens.
So I guess technically you would say it would have to be the most accurate because he was the guy that wrote it was abducted by aliens.
Fire in the sky had a lot of liberties.
I don't know if Travis Walton necessarily was even involved with the making of Fire in the Sky because it's based off of the book.
I believe that he was more inspired.
Oh, he's in it.
He's in the movie.
He's in the movie, but I don't know if he's in the movie.
He makes a cameo.
So I think he's.
I mean, he co-signs it for sure.
When we saw him speak in Contact in the Desert, he showed scenes for the family.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, he's got to be pro-It.
Yeah, but like, what do you so you think arrival would be the most accurate to what we're talking about here?
Like, uh, like, you know, I mean, I go back and forth.
I mean, because it's so over the top, and like, they're making like a clear point that,
first of all, don't be scared of him.
Well, you know, and it's just as much a time travel movie as it is.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, you know, it's hard because in my mind, I still believe that there's way more of a psychic component to the whole thing.
I think that the idea of the entire scenario being kind of wrapped up in one movie is actually quite difficult.
Yeah, I think Close Encounters might be the most accurate.
Sure.
Because it's got the orbs, it's got the, you know, it's got a lot of things that are taken straight from people's experience.
Oh, yes.
And then the idea of being, feeling like you're special, like you're being spoken to, like you got chose.
Richard Dreyfus was chosen in that film.
A lot of times people talk about abduction scenarios going on by the time when people that have been abducted that remember past a certain age, they then kind of go into either some form of regression therapy or something where then they begin to think that they're or maybe come to realize that they have been getting abducted since they were a kid.
Yeah.
So that would also reflect that.
And then I do think it's Mac and Me.
Yeah.
And I think that's the final one.
Yeah.
Because it has to have a butthole.
It has to have a butthole for a mouth.
Yes.
You know what other one I like a lot?
Contact is a very emotional movie.
Yeah, I enjoy Contact.
I think think it is, it's definitely, it has its silly parts to it.
And like, it gets a little weird with the Matthew McConaughey and all that stuff.
But I love the Jake Busey character.
He's terrifying to me.
And, you know, it's just that.
Do you think Jake Busey like frightens his family and his friends?
Obviously.
Yeah.
Do you see that Gary Busey's grandson has a band?
It's a one-man band that he does fake rave music with.
Oh, so he's not like playing the accordion or anything like that.
Is it Jake's kid?
Or is it one of another child?
No, it's some other child's because the guy's too old.
Oh, okay.
But yeah, I mean, that's nothing to do with what we're talking about.
No, I think.
Gary Busey could be an alien.
Yeah.
He definitely could have.
I have a question for you guys because you said, all right, no movies that completely occur in space, but what about sphere?
Now, that is in space, but that is an alien too, or it's like at least, you know, something that is
think about sphere.
Sphere's kind of water-ish, isn't it?
Esque, but it's also,
sea snakes can like read you and you go inside of it and like, no, it's so it is no alien.
I remember now we know about aliens more than ever.
They are probably, if they are somehow based on the planet Earth, they probably are coming from the water.
Yes, okay, that makes sense.
Wow, sphere.
I haven't thought about sphere in a lot of time.
I loved the movie.
I saw this in the theater and I remember really not liking it.
Really?
Yeah, I remember.
Watch it again.
It's great.
It's a Michael Crichton film.
I mean, it's very bad.
It's not good.
it's i understand if you were young watching it i like watching it now and i i think it's maybe because i watched it so many times when i was young yeah um that i i always enjoy it it's not you don't watch it for it to be good though okay i have two more esoteric choices that i absolutely love oh yeah annihilation I love Annihilation, but that's, you know, that's on another.
Annihilation is great.
You know what else?
Can I say something about Annihilation?
I feel like the plot from Annihilation was borrowed from for Frozen 2.
And I think that they fucking ripped off Annihilation.
Well, you know what they took it off?
Okay, you're saying.
Okay, I thought you meant that Frozen 2, or that was a good idea.
Oh, no, you're like Spaced Invaders.
No, the other way.
Oh, right.
Space Invaders is fun.
Space Invaders is a lot of fun.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, this movie's a blast.
Everyone knows about Spade Invaders.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is very stupid.
It's actually not good at all, but it's worth watching.
I would see that again.
Yeah, no, definitely, you know, biggest joint joint you can roll for sure
you know way better than paul i hate paul paul sucks right
yeah paul was garbage yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah seth mcfarland's not good at movies he's not is he no although i am very excited for the new naked gun oh it oh i get i'll i'll i'll see it
i'll see it we'll see
cash flow crunch on deck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to 100 000 right when you need it.
Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat.
With flexible draws, transparent pricing and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently.
Apply today at on deck.com.
Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow.
Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by ONDEC or Celtic Bank.
Ondec does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
It's that time of year again, back to school season.
And Instacart knows that the only thing harder than getting back into the swing of of things is getting all the back-to-school supplies, snacks, and essentials you need.
So here's your reminder to make your life a little easier this season.
Shop favorites from Staples, Fest Buy, and Costco all delivered through Instacart so that you can get some time back and do whatever it is that you need to get your life back on track.
Instacart, we're here.
You know, but with Annihilation, you know what Annihilation is.
Annihilation's essentially a retrofitting of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.
The same thing as Apocalypse Now, same thing as these things.
It's all about traveling into a thing.
Technically, also, Annihilation borrows a lot from a sci-fi author by the name of J.G.
Ballard, who wrote a book called The Crystal World that is just like this.
It's just this, like, a weird force has arrived.
It's changing a part of this one part of the country.
Scientists are arriving in there to try to figure it out.
Yeah.
And it's a, there's something about that that travel in.
No one saw Annihilation.
I feel like it got like unjustly, like, like, I don't know, panned, or I don't know what happened to that movie and why it wasn't popular.
It was fucking awesome.
Alex Garland.
Same guy you did.
Is that Ex-Machina?
No, no.
That is X-Machina, right?
And Civil War.
And Warfare.
Yeah, Warfare.
And Civil War.
And Warfare.
Wow, okay.
So I like all of his movies.
That's the new movie.
It's a new Iraq War.
Yeah, it's a new Iraq War movie.
It's good.
Is it funny?
No, it's hilarious.
It's hilarious.
Yeah.
It's a laugh amen.
It takes place in real time.
Oh, wow.
It's very good.
Oh, that's oh, but it's
also doing 28 years later, which I am excited.
Oh, I thought that was Danny Boyle.
That's Danny Boyle.
Oh, is it?
I thought it was Alex Garland.
No, Danny Boyle.
They're putting Michael Gandhi
in more things.
He was good.
He was good.
He's good.
In Warfare, he's good.
Yeah.
Oh, did you see Warfare?
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Both of us saw it.
Oh, we didn't go together, but we saw it.
We both saw it.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's move on to
alien films we don't like.
I'll go first.
Pitch Black and Signs.
Don't like either one of them.
You know, Pitch Black Black is funny because that's a Vin Diesel effort outside of Triple X that I actually kind of like.
Because nowadays, you know what's funny about those style of like
this genre is that at this point, because of the superhero genre, it makes these movies look way better.
Okay.
Without the superhero.
If you got rid of the superhero movies.
It's taking place in space.
So I'm going against my own brain.
But if you got rid of the superhero genre,
we would still be bagging on these movies.
But because superhero movies are such a waste of everybody's time and such a waste of the economy and money and shit, these movies you just showed that like, look at this, like this was made for like $25 million.
You dumb gods you hate the superhero genre.
We do ads for them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I fucking can't stand them.
I think Thunderbolt is going to be great.
The problem with the movies, my main issue truly is just the I'm not going to watch 10 movies.
to watch one movie.
You don't have to.
That's
idiot proof.
No, but then that's the problem is that now I'm watching them as an idiot, and I've done this.
I've tried to watch them out of sequence, and then I watch one that I'm sort of vaguely interested in, and they have all these references to a bunch of shit that I couldn't possibly give a fuck about, and it's all this other stuff where it's like, just make this one movie, and I would have bought a ticket to it.
If this was just one standalone film, I could just watch the movie.
That's why I watch movies, and I hate television series.
I don't watch television series because guess what?
They never end.
And they just fucking keep going.
You really don't watch it.
I don't watch TV that much, but I do watch some of it.
You watch none of it?
None.
I watch none.
I watch people.
You watch trash TV.
I watch trash reality TV, documentaries.
I watch my drag race.
I watch my, I got Project Runways coming back.
And then I watch movies.
See, I watch none of that, and I watch some
actual TV.
Yeah, every time I watch the TV, I don't like it.
You're such a fucking coward.
I actually like that.
It's not for me.
I hate the thing, too.
You know what I really, really fucking hate?
What I really fucking hate is when somebody somebody does
he opened this yeah
when they like it's just there's too many storylines all at once
and everybody it's just like i i just don't i don't care it's
i you know how you know what's proof that henry doesn't like tv shows you hate the dune show
i'm not allowed to we have to cut that
we'll have to cut it we do ads for marvel movies marvel movies they don't even hear what we say
we have no idea what we say we love them them.
We love them.
No, I, you know what it is about them.
I guess it's like, I don't mean to be that butthurt about it.
It's just like, I feel like you could probably, like, I'm watching our friend.
Ryan Kukler.
Oh, yeah.
Watching him.
You're referring to him now.
I'm watching him get run over the Kohl's in the trades, all bagging him for his money, how little, quote-unquote, how much money that show was supposed to movie, was supposed to make sinners and shit.
It's killing it it's an r-rated movie that's number one in the box office two weeks in a row yeah dude but they're comparing it to the everyone in china is seeing the new marvel movie money that they have to make these marvel movies have to make yes hundreds of millions almost a billion dollars just to break even and it is killing us.
It is killing the entire industry.
Well, it's bringing back independent film.
No, it's not yet because they're all dogging on the independent films that sort of do well.
Sinners is not an independent film.
They are viewed.
That's how fucked shit is, Eddie.
But that's how shit.
That's how fucked shit is right now, Eddie.
But that's viewed as a scrappy movie that might just make it.
And it's like, it's a fucking, a huge pinpole horror summer film, you morons.
There's two Michael B.
Jordans in it.
It just gets to a point where it's like, how much money are we all supposed to make?
Yes.
No, but that movie's going to fucking, it's killing it.
The already made back its money.
No, I love it.
I'm just saying that that's kind of what we're, when, that's what the Marvel and superhero movies do is set up this like truly unmatchable amount of money.
Yeah.
That everybody has to make.
Yeah.
And it has to be palatable to any person with half an eyeball that can arrive to see it.
And they're shitting on him like he didn't make two of the biggest movies ever made.
He's just, he just made,
he made one superhero dude.
He did one for you guys.
Yeah.
He made Black Panther, guys.
And everyone's trashing the fact that he got this deal where he owns it after 25 years.
You guarantino got the deal.
Everybody, it is not that uncommon.
Everybody's just
trying to hurt this man.
They're trying to hurt the man and trying to hurt the work.
And there's no fucking reason for it.
All right.
Well, I like the movie The Faculty.
You know what?
I thought they gave it a good soundtrack.
Yes.
It's got a great soundtrack.
It is.
But in talking about alien movies that are not very good, that is definitely one of them.
But, man, I will say, if it is on, I'll watch it.
Do you remember they had to push it because it was all about killing the teachers?
Oh,
right after I killed Columbine.
Yes.
Or are you thinking about Teaching Mrs.
Tingle?
That I am because it was supposed to be killing Mrs.
Tingle.
And then they changed it.
Teaching Mrs.
Tingle was the one where they killed the.
Because this is, I mean, they're aliens, so you got to kill these.
You know what?
One I had to get over my penis to enjoy?
What?
Under the skin.
I never saw it.
Under the skin, when I first saw it, I was just like, it's good, Scarlet Joy.
It's his poopies in it.
And then now, as an adult, I watch it and I realize it's actually quite good.
It's quite haunting.
Yes.
It's actually very, very, very good.
It's like, and I want to say it's probably Scarjo's best movie.
I didn't even know it was an alien film.
Yes.
An alien.
Until I started researching this episode.
It's Scarjo's best movie outside of her where she's not in it.
Yeah.
You know, it's a good future space movie, but not an alien movie that kind of I've always put in the same genre as this, and I'm probably incorrect.
It's Melancholia.
You know, Melancholia is a cool movie.
That's a very interesting movie.
It's got deer hunter vibes to it, you know, and it's sad.
It's very sad.
It's very sad, but I like that movie.
And it's got, you know, Kate Winslow's boobies.
Well, no, not Katie Winslow, the other one.
Oh, Kirsten Dunsted.
Kirsten Dunst.
But they're sad boobies.
But they're sad boobies.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
I always kind of felt like that.
Sounded into skin sad boobies?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what's also funny, too, is that as a kid, too, Like, I remember doing that.
You ever just, like, okay, Jackie, you're not here.
You ever do the thing where
I need everyone to know I am still here.
Where you have to thumb through an extremely sad movie just to see Tits as a little boy?
Oh, I mean, yes, that was a big part of my childhood.
I was flipping through the piano.
You don't need to see her.
You don't want me to be hearing this, but I need you to know I need to bring up Astronaut's Wife because that is definitely a movie that I would go right.
I knew exactly how to get to the one sex scene in Astronaut's Wife, which was a great, fun alien movie.
Now we're just looking at Holly Hunter nude for the piano.
Sad nude in the piano.
I never saw the piano.
I didn't know Holly Hunter got nude.
Yeah, but at the rest of the day, sad nude.
Oh, man.
She's so beautiful.
Yeah, she is.
She's really
a classic, beautiful woman.
She just cried, cry, cries.
I watched The Firm the other day.
Guess what, man?
No fucking piano in it either.
I'm expecting.
There's no piano in that movie.
This is my thing.
You will not move to the piano.
Are you really going to fucking tell me there isn't one piano in the piano?
Listen to me, Eddie.
Not one Jerry Lee Lewis song.
Oh my God.
Yeah, man.
That's fucked up.
And you know what else?
That's how that movie should open.
There's no game in the crying game.
There's no game.
It's just crying.
Yeah.
Man, that would be so cool.
The piano.
The piano too.
Rad time.
I think she's a deaf woman.
It says there is a piano in the piano.
Yeah, there's like all piano in it.
Yeah, she's mute.
She's mute.
Oh, she talks through a piano.
Well, she does a thing where she's like, she tries to marry the piano.
I don't know.
Yeah, she becomes the piano, but she can't.
Oh, you ever played the piano game with a girl where you press on her clit until she starts doing the chopsticks on?
But you do with your feet, like Tom Hanks.
Yeah, my heels.
don't forget in big that woman fucks with children
don't forget but we are talking about alien movies
there's a whole genre of child trapped inside adult's body having sex with a different episode there's many of those films sleeper movies about aliens ones that you think maybe have flown on the radar people haven't seen that much i'll go first as always slither love
so good
slither
fucking cool, man.
It's gross.
It's fucking Michael Rooker is incredible in that movie.
That's great.
I really love Slither.
You know what's one that I forgot about that I was reminded by?
I mean, and it's a major one.
It's just one of those that doesn't come about because it's the type of movie you don't see as much anymore.
Ooh, the 80s Blob.
Yes.
Kevin Dylan.
I love that movie.
And the idea of there used to be a lot more movies about just a big thing.
You know,
there was like ants.
Remember them?
You ever see them?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With the ants.
It's like very interesting.
It's actually kind of an interesting movie.
There was also the other movies.
Wasn't there one about Killer B ones?
Yes.
And there's one about Caterpillars, I think.
Caterpillars.
I don't know.
Not ants.
Not ants the film.
Yeah, ants the film.
Ants the film, which I think is technically the last Sylvester Stallone Woody Allen movie.
The last Sylvester Stallone Woody Allen film that we'll ever get.
yes that's the last one we'll ever get I don't think there'll be more yeah yeah then there there are two
there's an Ants too no two Sylvester Stallone Woody Allen movies because he's in any hall
he's one of the guy that robs him on the train that's so oh the Italian stallion
wow robbing him on a train or no it's Ors at Bananas it's one of the other ones he's on he's in Stallone is in those are the ones of his I've seen the least yeah but regardless we're not doing that no no we're not doing
directors.
Yeah, we're not doing aliens, we're doing aliens.
We're gonna do another one where we do canceled directors.
Okay, good.
Wait for that.
Oh, it's gonna be good.
I'll get into that.
I'll decide.
That's movie.
I just saw Chinatown.
Great movie.
That's Chinatown.
That's a great movie, man.
Guess who didn't like it?
My wife.
She was extremely upset by that film.
I don't know.
It was like, because in the end, at the very end of the movie, she was just like,
That's it?
It's Chinatown.
Chinatown.
Yeah, baby.
It's Chinatown.
She did not enjoy the.
Yeah, she was not into it.
I really liked Attack the Block.
Yes,
one that is like a
one that people don't know.
John Boyga.
Does he do anything else?
I think, doesn't he do Star Wars?
He did Star Wars.
But that's all done now.
He then got upset about the, then he got mad about his treatment during Star Wars.
And then he kind of, then he took it.
He was in Pacific Rim.
He was in Pacific Rim.
Oh, they're fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were okay, those people.
Man, Man, that second Pacific Rim was so bad.
You know, I find them entertaining.
I like the first one we saw together.
It was a lot of fun.
Truly, anything that's not some form of IP, sign me up.
I just, I'm looking, I'm desperate for new IP.
Yeah, like, give me another time.
I don't care.
Bring Triple X back.
I know no one likes Triple X.
Oh, man.
But
I'll see more Triple X movies.
I watched five Final Destination movies in a row at
because
I was sick.
I watched all the movies in a row.
That's great.
Didn't you love them even more as they went on?
They're terrible.
Yeah.
But what's nice about them is that they're,
it's not,
I'm not being spoon-fed things that I need to purchase.
Honestly, you know what you need to do next?
Watch all of the Fast and Furious movies back to the bottom.
But they are good.
They are good.
That's terrible.
No, there's a bunch of really, really bad ones.
There's a lot of movies you can cut out.
There's a couple ones you can cut out in the middle, but man, it just really, when they talk about, are they aliens, when they come,
when they ride in the car from space down back to Earth and still jump out of the car.
They're anything but alien.
They're family.
Their family.
Their family.
One that came up that I forget.
Color out of space.
I brought this up.
I said it under my breath earlier.
I view Color Out of Space as an Eldritch horror film.
Now, what, now, a question though, what would be the difference then?
Because then it's not coming from space, because it's coming then essentially like from the earth?
I don't know.
I don't know anything about this movie.
Oh,
I think that you would really enjoy Color Out of Space.
It's a slow burn.
It is
a bridge.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
It's just a fun, psychedelic Nick Cage sci-fi movie.
Yes, it's by Richard Stanley, the guy that did Island of Dr.
Moreau.
Okay.
That was the failed, was considered to be the failed island of Dr.
Moreau.
I still enjoy it.
I love that movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, an undiscovered classic of his in the sci-fi genre, Hardware, which is actually quite good.
And the Dust Devil is, I've seen all of his films for some of the stuff.
Really?
Yeah.
And really?
Dust Devil's really strange.
It's like an erotic horror thriller that he kind of, after the success of hardware, he was kind of allowed.
Again, this is one of those things that you used to give great deals to filmmakers all the time.
He just got this kind of like, all right, now you make
dreams, desire.
And then he made this kind of weird wizard desert sex movie, and everyone's like, oh, this is bad.
But it's quite good.
I liked it.
Now, how about this?
I know this is one that y'all love, and we haven't brought it up yet.
Maybe, I don't know if it's a sleeper or not, but Bad Taste.
Oh, Bad Taste is a part of the Peter Jackson.
Oh, yeah.
You know, Peter Jackson, those early movies, they mean a lot to me.
They're not good.
They're not me, but they're important to watch.
Yes, they're not his best work, but they are like.
Dead Alive is.
I love Dead Alive.
Dead Alive holds up.
And like,
the X-rated version of Dead Alive is required watching.
I think Meet the Feebles holds up, but I don't know.
I haven't seen it in a minute.
When's the last time you saw it?
It's been a minute.
It's pretty bad.
It does not quite hold up.
But here's the thing, though.
Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles, for me, are important movies because I remember seeing them at a time that I didn't know
you could make movies like that.
And we were, we laughed on America.
And just like loved it so much and it so affected me that while, yeah, they're not good movies, they were huge to like opening up my brain into like what you could make.
Yeah.
Because to me, that's the big deal is that like,
what does it mean to you?
What do the movies mean to you?
I think that that's like what we sort of miss sometimes in the age of, like, I think that's also part of why I have to examine my anger.
And when I get angry, like you heard me earlier, I got angry.
And then a lot of times what my therapist tells me to do is to stop and think about like, where is it coming from?
And the anger a lot of times for me, it comes from a deep sadness.
And I think part of where the sadness comes from sometimes is that when you are making work on such a level where you're putting out 10 episodes of a series at once and the idea of binge viewing and binge content making and binge like all of this concept you begin to lose like I guess that's that's one of my main issues is that with the the new influx of all the content is that they all blend together and then part of me then thinks like these are people each one of these television shows is a year out of those people's lives that you consume in six hours and then you're like next and then I feel like it does get to a point where you're like the movies used to For me, these movies meant something.
Like even the bad ones meant something.
A lot of time the great actors say they prefer television because they really get a hold of the character.
I understand.
They get to really be a part of the character for a very long time.
But that's if the writing is good.
Yes.
And Killer Clowns from Outer Space is how we're ending this whole fucking game because it's the best one of all.
Yeah, it is a great movie.
I really.
I mean, I totally understand digging into it as an actor, but again, I'm the audience member.
I'm not the actor.
Yeah, for sure.
I'm trying to watch it.
And I get it sad because I feel like a lot of people's work gets overlooked.
And I think that people spend a lot of time and then their work is harshly judged and quickly judged and it's flushed on the toilet.
Yeah.
No.
And it makes me angry because I feel like more people should understand what goes into the stuff that they watch.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I, you know, and I have a similar feeling.
I feel like horror movies and like in sci-fi alien movies and all that stuff was really big for me because it like, I don't know, it kind of like, I was an only child who like, I was like, I lived in Boca Raton, but my family was like the family that went poor trying to live in Boca Raton.
And so like, I wasn't like in with all the rich kids and I was like super fat.
And so like I went to Catholic school.
So I was a nerd.
I didn't have any friends.
Oh yeah.
You know, and so I had like two friends and we watched horror movies and we fucking and that's how like I related to society from like exactly from like eight to like 14, you know, until I got to high school and like fucking came out of my shell.
They're very important.
They really help people more than people think.
Oh, yeah.
You know, it's a lot of people look at it as trash and all that stuff, but it's actually like they teach you about society.
They like, they're they're the first movies where feet for women and people of color are the leads.
No, sci-fi was a sci-fi means the world to me because of that.
Because I'll always remember when I first got into reading sci-fi and watching these movies was when we moved really from New York to Florida.
Same thing.
So it was an escape.
I was alone.
And there was something about connecting to something else that felt alien.
Yeah.
Right.
And specifically with aliens, I think that opening up, especially from a kid's perspective, of opening up what could be and showing you, even in like the zany alien comedies that a lot of us grew up on, I feel like it showed us that your current reality isn't the only thing that can exist.
And that's a good thing.
Like I watch alien movies from being a kid and thought, oh, that's freedom.
That's a freedom that
we can have.
That who knows what could happen.
Think about how free free the flying purple people eater monster was.
So free.
The last about a freedom that anyone's ever had.
Didn't have to wear any clothes.
You had a unicorn horn.
Totally free.
Stitch.
Yes.
Stitch not a.
He's an alien.
Alien.
Oh, yeah.
Stitch is an alien.
He came from out of space.
It's the first scene of the movie.
I'm going to admit, never seen it.
I also haven't seen it.
Really?
But they're coming out with the...
Because a lot of people in our chat on our Friday show were very excited because they're doing a live-action Lilo and Stitch.
And I'd never see it, I've never seen it.
That makes me want to die.
I'll check it out.
He looks cute.
Just the idea of the live-action Lilo and Stitch.
Disney, we already have a Lilo and Stitch.
They can just watch the old one.
But you didn't.
No, it's not for me.
You know what I mean?
I mean, the kids can watch the old one.
You know, kids can watch the old one.
They already fucking made.
They already made it.
And it wasn't even that fucking long ago.
It was 20-something years ago.
Whoa, is it?
Yeah.
No, I guess Monsters Under the Bed and Demons are very different than aliens because I just saw little monsters and I got excited, but that was a good idea.
But that's Monsters Under the Bed.
That's another episode that we will do.
That is, yes, yes.
Monsters.
Well, this has been wonderful.
This really has been.
Can we write down all the potential episodes that we're going to do?
Some of them.
We're going to do it on Reddit on the show.
We'll definitely do the Be Quiet films.
Yeah, I like the Canceled Directors' films.
Love it.
I think Canceled Directors' films is going to be important for us.
Oh, absolutely.
People really want us to do that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they really want us to examine
and really give
it a defendant Woody Allen watch list.
Yay.
I'll tell you what to watch.
His front door.
Make sure he stays.
Make sure he don't leave.
Make sure he don't come after you now.
Oh, Woody Allen.
You know, he's done.
He'll be dead soon.
This is great.
Make sure you watch and listen to Good Pud.
Please do.
It's the funniest show on the network by far.
We are going to be doing, you'll see a revamp.
of Good Pud.
We have a bit of a special coming up for you very, very soon.
We certainly
are going to, I hope you enjoy because we definitely enjoyed making it.
And we we are going to, that's going to, and then Hoop Agoo is going to be coming in.
We're doing hoop soon.
Yes, absolutely.
We're going to be pausing live streams, but then we're going to come back out with a whole season of hoopago-goo.
It's going to be very well made and produced.
Not that it wasn't before, but it's going to be organized.
We're going to do it.
I'm very excited.
And then, of course, this comes out on Wednesday, May 7th.
If you happen to be in Fort Lauderdale, the three of us are performing tonight
at the Fort Lauderdale improv.
So we
are prepared.
We have our material.
Jackie's doing 25 minutes.
Yeah, I've got it all set.
Yes.
She's got a whole thing.
And it's all about bortion.
Yeah, of course.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
I'm about that.
Bortion.
Make it cry.
I dump it.
I'm abortion.
But of course, you know, if you've got abortion problems or if you have any other kind of problems, I got non problems, but abortion ain't one.
But a bitch might feel bad.
If you've got abortion problems, I feel bad for you, son.
And you should take those problems to who's thebitch.com and let us know what those problems are.
Who's the thebitch.com?
Don't you have a phone number?
We do have a phone number, but all the information is on who's thebitch.com.
Good work.
Yeah, go do that.
And then also, tomorrow night, we're going to be in Orlando, the three of us, at the Orlando Funny Bomb.
The early show is sold out.
There are still some tickets available for the late show.
And that's where Jackie will be doing.
She'll be doing her full hour on her portion.
And that's when she's going to come up, mostly be talking.
We're not going to be talking.
Jackie's going to be up there.
Eggs.
Eggs.
Yeah.
Eggs.
Eggs.
You use
eggs at the top of my leg.
Yeah, eggs are in my hold in here.
Poetry.
Eggs are going out out here.
And by beat poetry, it means I'm going to do poetry and y'all going to beat the shit out of me.
Okay.
Okay.
Marino Arbrockovich.
Hitting that woman.
Uh-oh.
Always funny.
Also, if you happen to be in Key West this weekend, come and see me in Key West at the
Comedy Key West.
I'm going to be there from May 9th to 11th.
And he may not be doing comedy, but he is going to be drinking hard.
Yeah, yeah.
So you just be right there with him.
Yeah, absolutely.
Especially on Mother's Day.
Please go see his show on Mother's Day.
Please just go see any show on Mother's Day.
What else are you doing in Key West on Mother's Day?
That's all he's asking for.
Bring your mother to his show on Mother's Day and Key West.
They like me.
Come on.
Bobs love me.
They do.
Come on.
He's a lot of eat pussy on the island.
All right, y'all.
This has been Side Stories Satan.
Goodbye, everyone.
Bye.
Hail Peter Jackson.
Yes.
Hi, listeners.
Marcus Edd and Henry here with a little bit of an announcement.
You loving all the episodes of Last Podcast on the Left lately?
Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.
Squeeze it out of us.
If you want to hear new episodes ad-free and unlock access to Last Podcasts on the Left seven days early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit seriousxm.com/slash podcast plus to start your free trial today.
Do it.
