Side Stories: Amouranth Home Invasion

Speaker 1 This is a real good story about Drew, a real United Airlines customer.

Speaker 2 After almost four years of treatments, I was finally cancer-free. My mom's like, Where do you want to go to celebrate? I'm like, Let's go somewhere tropical.

Speaker 2 And then pilot hopped on the intercom and started talking about me. I was like, What is going on here? My wife be cancer too, and I wanted to celebrate his special moment.

Speaker 1 That's Bill, a real United pilot.

Speaker 2 We brought him drinks and donuts. We all signed a card.
I was smiling ear to ear. Best flight ever for sure.
That's how good leads the way.

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Speaker 2 Hello, Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve.
Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man.

Speaker 2 Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person.

Speaker 2 It can happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain.
So that's why I'm coming home to let you know it's okay to be who you are. It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us.

Speaker 2 It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold, it rains at Guanas.
I'm here to support you. So come on out.

Speaker 2 March, I'll be in North Florida, and in May, I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the invasive species tour.
Ed Larson, me, is coming to Florida in March and May.

Speaker 2 I'm coming to Jacksonville, Panama City, Tallahassee, Marco Island, Dania Beach, Orlando, and Key West.

Speaker 2 So lock up your public subs and start singing the Miami Dolphins fight song because we're gonna party like it's Florida, baby. Tickets at EddieTunes.com

Speaker 2 There's no place to escape to this is the last

Speaker 2 on the left

Speaker 2 side stories

Speaker 2 that's when the cannibalism started

Speaker 2 side stories. Yes.

Speaker 2 Side stories, breaking news.

Speaker 2 We are here in the middle of the afternoon, maybe, if you don't have a job. We are here with our anchor, Marcus Parks.
Hi, side stories, breaking news. How's everybody doing today?

Speaker 2 How are two of you doing today? Fuck you. Okay.
I'm good.

Speaker 2 I'm fine. I'm fine.

Speaker 2 So the reason why I'm coming on the show today, I wanted to give you guys some news. We did sign a new contract with SiriusXM.

Speaker 2 And I'm just going to tell you right now, if you don't want anything to change, you the listener, if you don't want anything to change about your experience about last podcast on the left, it don't got to change at all.

Speaker 2 And that's the good news. Yeah, that's really nice.
So rare does someone say, if you don't want something to change, do nothing. Do nothing.

Speaker 2 Do nothing.

Speaker 2 It's really nice to have that. But if you do want a little bit of a change from now on, if you get a Stitcher Plus premium subscription, you can get the episode a week early.

Speaker 2 For example, if you want to listen to both Chad Day Bell, Lori Vallo, part four, and our annual March Madness of Serial Killers this Friday, you can do that.

Speaker 2 But if you want to just wait until next week when the March Madness Serial Killers is going to come out anyway for free on the feed, then you can wait for that.

Speaker 2 So So it's absolutely 100% totally up to you.

Speaker 2 You know, it doesn't change anything about side stories. Side stories is the same.
Yes, side stories is the same. All the other shows in the network, burning side staying the same.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 We can't change. We don't know how to.
They aren't allowed. They aren't allowed to change.
But no, nothing else changes for you.

Speaker 2 It just so happens if you have a Stitcher Premium account, you will get the new last podcast on the left main show a quote week early. But still, it is an evergreen show.

Speaker 2 So you're just going to get the same show the next week.

Speaker 2 But that's what's really incredible about capitalism, isn't it, boys? You get the choice. Yeah, you get the choice.

Speaker 2 So if you sign up for Stitcher Premium this week, you'll get two episodes on Friday. And if not, your life doesn't change one bit.
Yes, the Patreon doesn't change. Nothing else changes.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 And, you know, the reason why we're doing this is because here at Last Podcast on the Left, you know, here at the Last Podcast Network, we got a lot of big dreams.

Speaker 2 We got a lot of big plans and we got a lot of people who work here. Like there are, what, 15 employees now full-time here at Last Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 And the talent as well, like that, that pops it up to about 30.

Speaker 2 And all of our employees, our full-time employees, they all have health insurance. We make sure they have good health insurance.
We make sure that these people are taken care of.

Speaker 2 And we want to make sure that we keep our creatives. happy and we want to make sure that we pay our creatives and we pay the people that actually do the shows here on the network.

Speaker 2 And this is how it's done.

Speaker 2 So if, again, if you don't want anything to change, it don't got to change. And please.

Speaker 2 If you could just do one thread on the subreddit. Just put it in one post and you just put them all there.

Speaker 2 You could put all the complaints there and people will be upset for a little while, but just know it's going to pass. And you know what? I'll read it.
Yeah. He'll do it.

Speaker 2 I'll read it.

Speaker 2 I'll sit there like a dog that just ate a newspaper and he'll just sit there and I'll be a bad boy. Yep.
And I'm bad. I'm a bad boy.

Speaker 2 But no, this is also so that we can continue to work at the highest level possible, which what we promise to do.

Speaker 2 If there's one thing that we have shown in the years of us doing this show is that we fucking put our money where our mouth is. The show is just gonna.
get better. This is what we do.

Speaker 2 We're working extremely hard.

Speaker 2 And not just that, if you do nothing and you keep your life exactly the same and keep listening to our show just the way you listen to it, there's going to be an extra free show in a little while for you as well.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 The show that we were asked to do last year. Asked.
That's a good term for it.

Speaker 2 Last update on the left. We're going to be releasing that now for free for everybody

Speaker 2 on the main feed starting here in a couple of weeks. Yep.

Speaker 2 So that's, again, nothing changes for you. And you're going to get a new show coming out every week.
I think there's how many? We record 40 episodes of Last Update. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And we also who knows we have other shows of the we were trying to work out other new shows bigger streaming shows.

Speaker 2 We have a bunch of stuff in the kitty that we want to get done, and this is how we're going to get it done. I'm putting out a sex tape,

Speaker 2 but it's by myself.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 You're just going, it won't work. And I filmed it in the bathroom.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We call that an illegal masturbation video. Yeah.
That's evidence. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And we'll get to a story like that on side stories shortly. We will.
You'll see. Yes.
you'll see.

Speaker 2 And speaking of working hard and working our asses off, I got to go finish this Chad Day Bell and Lori Vallo Part 4 script. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 So we can get this shit out and recorded before we go to Nashville this weekend. So we'll see y'all in Nashville.
And thank y'all so much for listening.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for being fans of Last Podcast on the Left. Thank you so much for being with us for so long.
This is the 15-year anniversary of Last Podcast. network this year.

Speaker 2 So thank you guys so much for being with us through all these changes, all these different things that we've we've been doing.

Speaker 2 And we promise to keep doing it for a really long fucking time because I'm having a fucking blast. Yeah, we are.
And we're going, we gon' get you.

Speaker 2 It's easy to remember when the anniversary is because I had my hernia surgery right afterwards. I know.
Yeah. So it's always 15 years since I plugged that back out of my balls.

Speaker 2 Okay, goodbye, everybody. Have a great show, boys.
Goodbye.

Speaker 2 Live from North Blade.

Speaker 2 Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski.
I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. And what an amazing announcement that was.
Oh, my God. And we are just so good at it.
We're so good in messaging.

Speaker 2 And we're so good at being

Speaker 2 man, just business guys. Yeah.
How many more rings are you going to be able to buy with the new contract?

Speaker 2 Like anal rings? Cock rings?

Speaker 2 I don't buy rings. I'm not into the rings.
I think that rings are for people that either... professional guitarists.
You ever notice that with like

Speaker 2 the cowboy hat where the flaps come up the side? I hate it. Oh, I hate it.
But I don't like it. I wanted the Brett Michaels.
Yes.

Speaker 2 That comes with rings, I believe. It's the rings.
And something about, like, I feel like if you play piano professionally or guitar professionally, that makes sense.

Speaker 2 Well, if you play piano or guitar professionally, won't the rings get in the way? I don't know. I think about that all the time.

Speaker 2 But then you look at rock star guys and they always have crazy rings and crazy bracelets and they're always playing through it. And I guess they're just so used to playing.

Speaker 2 And they're so used to people looking at their hands that they want the hands to look fancy. It's sexy.

Speaker 2 But I just don't understand because, no, we're looking at the fingers playing the guitar, we don't care about the rings, but these guys like rings.

Speaker 2 Jimie Hendrix, is it really like the biggest problem? You know who is? Well, he doesn't count, like he doesn't count, he doesn't count, like uh, and Prince never did.

Speaker 2 You know, who honestly is the bad one, is it's it's slash, yeah, he's got lots of rings.

Speaker 2 If you look at Slash, he's got like full-on crushed Pepsi cans around his fingers at all times, and I do know that he, I mean, he's allowed at Slash, he can do whatever the hell he wants.

Speaker 2 I saw him at Disney World once, really? He was a bit was he playing the Mad Hatter?

Speaker 2 No. That would have cost a tremendous amount of money.
No, I think that he was he was there with his family and he had a bigger beer belly than I thought he did and I was proud of him.

Speaker 2 Of course he's got a beer belly. You've never known it for so long.

Speaker 2 All right. I love you, Flash.

Speaker 2 Come on, I love him. I love Slash.

Speaker 2 I just like that he's brave enough to have a dad bot. Yeah.
Now, we have a couple of updates.

Speaker 2 Now, one of the things that happens here on side stories often is we've talked about the side stories effect, which is we talk about a news story and either some massive update about it comes out the day after we record every single time.

Speaker 2 Now, last week, Eddie and I were very interested in the mysterious circumstances of Gene Hackman's death. Yes.
It seemed kind of fishy. One of the dogs had died in the kennel in the closet.

Speaker 2 They found that Gene Hackman was, he was also dead, surrounded by pills. And again, very mysterious.
She was surrounded by pills. They were

Speaker 2 either way, it was mysterious, right? It was very mysterious. And it seemed interesting.
And it seemed like it might have been murder, but actually, it was so weird. It was just sad.

Speaker 2 It was crushingly sad. The actual,

Speaker 2 what happened is what's going to happen to all of us if we're lucky.

Speaker 2 So Betsy Arakawa, I guess, somehow she got bit by a rodent or interacted with a rodent, junta's disease, they got junta disease, you know, so you don't necessarily,

Speaker 2 you can, it's almost it can be airborne. Basically, it's from rodent droppings or excess urine.

Speaker 2 And so, like, if you like, even if you like, if so, if you go into a room where mice have been pissing and shitting for like months and you breathe it in too much, I don't know if that's exactly how it happened.

Speaker 2 That's it, or if you clean it up, you can get this junta's disease, which I had never heard of. So I was interested in it.
And I went and looked into it.

Speaker 2 Apparently, if you're cleaning up lots of rat piss and rat shit, use gloves. Oh, and have a ventilator.
And wear a mask. Yeah, have a straight-on ventilator.

Speaker 2 When she said the house was clean, but they had lots of other like sheds on the property. It was a big property.
And so

Speaker 2 she definitely got it somehow. It's very rare.
Yeah. Only 136 people have died of this in the last hundred years in New Mexico.
That's

Speaker 2 crazy. It's very crazy that it happened to her, especially because, you know, they're not hoarders.
No. Like they said, the house was looking fine.
Yes. And so it's just like a crazy thing.

Speaker 2 But her, so basically everything, we don't know exactly when she died, but it seems. At least a week before Gene Hackman died.
Well, all of her communications stopped on February 11th.

Speaker 2 So like her last emails, her last phone calls were February 11th. So they say that might have been the day she died, but she was also driving around February 11th.
She went to a couple stores.

Speaker 2 She might have been sick for a couple of days and just away from her phone. We don't know.
They said that she was in CVS looking for medication.

Speaker 2 She was wearing a mask that day of her death, or maybe her death. Probably her death.
Probably. And she was visibly sick.

Speaker 2 And then they knew something was going on the next day when she did not pick up the her dog's prescription food, which is we're all none of the.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, this this food the dog food's getting more expensive as it is don't add adavan to it no my my my

Speaker 2 you should see the mountain of different foods oh i know for the i have to change their food every meal no i know it's you are a it's crazy you you are like a white house chef yeah for your two dogs uh but then it seems like that so she died of this of hantavirus yeah and then and the pills next to her were just her thyroid medicine it's nothing you can really overdose on so they were able to rule that out because it looked like a suicide, a murder-suicide, kind of.

Speaker 2 That's what we were thought. We thought it was like interesting and almost cool.
No, right? But it's just sad. It was super sad.

Speaker 2 So then Gene Hackman just putzed around the house and finally succumbed to his Alzheimer's and heart disease while inside the house. And so he just.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so he just kind of puttered back and forth. So he probably found her dead and experienced that a couple times.
So like 50 last dates? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is, that is. So you don't like that, Rob? Robin didn't like that joke.
He didn't like that. No one likes it.

Speaker 2 Everyone's upset with that. Yeah, even I didn't laugh.
I laugh at most things. Yeah, yeah, people don't like that.
But it's because the reason why I think we should laugh.

Speaker 2 Now I'm laughing about how it's how upset it is. But I think it's important to laugh because, you know,

Speaker 2 the reason why

Speaker 2 people that we dislike do what they do, especially right now, all of the weird despots and people that are fans of despots and people that want to be fascists and all this stuff.

Speaker 2 Do you understand that what they're fighting with all of their money and power and all these things that they're trying to build is exactly what happened to Gene Heckman.

Speaker 2 It's exactly going to happen to all of us, which is that we all succumb to time, disease, and just being mortal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And if you're lucky enough, you could do it at 95 in a giant mansion in New Mexico. You can.
In a beautiful house,

Speaker 2 but Elon Musk, these guys, they are fighting this. It's the feeling of dying like that that they don't understand is so essentially a part of your experience as a human being.

Speaker 2 And they are so afraid of it. They're so afraid.
That's why they do everything that they do to control reality.

Speaker 2 Because on some level, I think some of these billionaires believe that they can control the flow of life itself and that everyone else is subject to these rules of mortality but them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you know, they'll all die. Yep.
And I'll tell tell you what, I feel, you know, Gene Hackman, great life, phenomenal actor.

Speaker 2 I think, honestly, it's a sad way to go out. I feel much worse.
It is much worse for his wife because she was going to be around for a long time.

Speaker 2 But she got this random ass virus.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm glad that I don't have to rescind my

Speaker 2 hail, Gene Hackman. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's like a second there where we're like, hopefully he didn't fucking kill her. Because, I mean,

Speaker 2 can you imagine imagine Gene Hackman, 95 with Alzheimer's, doing the Crimson Tide, like that monologue at you? You shut the fuck up. You'll be like, you do that monologue at you, man.

Speaker 2 That's got to be scary. I would not want to deal with that.
I want that to be my last memory of my famous husband, Gene Hackman. Yeah.
So

Speaker 2 I guess the update is

Speaker 2 it's over. Yep.
It's all done. Time is a steamroller that stops for nowhere.
We get to keep loving Gene Hackman and his wife. And that's good.
That's the best thing that they did for us.

Speaker 2 That's the the best part of it. He was a great man.
He was, I think, it seems like he was at least a fine man, but a fantastic actor. But yeah, well,

Speaker 2 I loved his political views. I love a liberal who fights.
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 2 I need some

Speaker 2 liberally cool.

Speaker 2 I'll always love that. And, you know, go watch Mississippi Burning.
I think it's very appropriate for right now. Also, I find it funny.
We did talk about this. Did we talk about that?

Speaker 2 We realized accidentally that Hoosiers is about rooting against the integrated team yes that's funny um just

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 life catches up to you fast yeah

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Now, I actually do have, you know, what I realized, this story of somebody that I know friends are friends of

Speaker 2 is actually an update. Okay.
Because we covered this in the very beginning when this was just a rumor. Okay.
And now this is, she's getting arrested now. All right.
Is this

Speaker 2 so? Are these the updates?

Speaker 2 This is in the updates. I would put this within the updates, but it's a story in and of itself.
Well, you better get on with it because I'm confused. Ghost Adventures.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize it's an update. It is because I do remember we talked about it a while ago when it was more like rumors that there were some kind of animosity.

Speaker 2 She had been starting a bunch of like, what we now know is that Aaron Goodwin, who is one of the cast members of Ghost Adventures, Zach Bagans,

Speaker 2 you know, very famous

Speaker 2 Nouveau Warren World, where he is the, he is the grand commander of all paranormal television. And Ghost Adventures kicked it all off, the OG Ghost Bros.

Speaker 2 And this guy was saying, I guess his wife was Victoria Goodwin, was starting to do like, there was like an online kerfluffle. I think if, I don't know if you remember this.

Speaker 2 I don't. But now charges have finally hit the fucking internet and it is crazy.

Speaker 2 So ghost adventure star Aaron Goodwin, his wife, Victoria Goodwin, has now been arrested officially after allegedly plotting to have him killed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she was booked on two charges, solicitation to commit murder and conspiracy to commit murder. She was trying to make one of the hosts of Ghost Adventures a ghost.

Speaker 2 And honestly, he would have went. See, that's my problem with Ghost Adventures.
What? Is the name? Because Ghost Adventures seems like it should be about a ghost on an adventure.

Speaker 2 But the ghosts are on adventure. They're joining the ghost adventures.
Oh, they're joining the ghost adventures. Actually, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think Ghost Adventures was just the first thing that they had come up with in the push back in the day, and now they're locked. Yeah, see, I think Ghost Hunters makes more sense.

Speaker 2 There is Ghost Hunters. I know there is Ghost Hunters.
I'm just saying, I think that makes more sense. He would have a title for a show that's like this.

Speaker 2 Ghost Adventures, I think, at the time sounded more positive. Yes, but now he almost went on his own ghost adventure.
Oh, he would have been a ghost. They would have adventured upon him.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he would have made money. And how jealous.
Zach was involved. He would have been so jealous if he became a ghost.
That's all Zach wants to be.

Speaker 2 No, I think that apparently Zach's super surprised by this. And the way it went down was that his wife, so Victoria Goodwin, oh, because kid, you know, she's kid, normal wife, whatever.

Speaker 2 It seemed that she was. I'm going to go on a lamb.
Now, this is full on me extrapolating that she was seducing an inmate from prison that she was speaking with. Great deal.

Speaker 2 And eventually, this is the person that they eventually

Speaker 2 offered $11.5.

Speaker 2 Something like that. Yeah, $1,000.
$11,000 to kill this man. To kill a celebrity.
To kill a celebrity, which is, again, lowballing. I feel like $11,000 is low to kill anybody.
We've talked about this.

Speaker 2 I still think that the minimum is $25,000. I said $100,000 I can't believe $25 is a minimum.
It should be more than a car to kill somebody.

Speaker 2 The only reason why I think it's 25 is, and we talked a little bit about this, is that the economic bracket that most people are in looking for a hitman to kill their husband is normally medium to high.

Speaker 2 Like it's normally in a middle to high like level. And so I think 25 is a gettable amount of cash.
A lot of people that are super rich, they don't can't get to that money necessarily.

Speaker 2 They're either not liquid or what we have found with a lot lot of rich people they just do it themselves yeah they just i'll kill her you know what i mean we're like it why get a middleman involved so they found her texts with this uh with this inmate in the florida prison because she deleted the texts on her own but he was hiding the cell phone and they found it and they got all this evidence yeah they they weren't even looking for this crime but they found his phone and these and these messages were on the phone one of them was from her saying, am I a bad person because I chose to end his existence, not divorce?

Speaker 2 That's what they said. And then he was just like, nah.
And then he said, I give you 2,500 up front, not enough. Always 50%.

Speaker 2 Yes. Can't believe that.

Speaker 2 And she

Speaker 2 communicated with him. There was one point where she was trying to make it happen where she said to him, he's asleep right now in the hotel room.
I need to know what's going on. Can I get an update?

Speaker 2 Was it done?

Speaker 2 Dude, just before, this is what you also don't understand as from specifically Lady Duman is that whatever you want to say about,

Speaker 2 this is, I mean, this in the least incelli way possible, is that the lady quite often has a lot of the strength when you go into divorce court. Yes.

Speaker 2 And because he's the breadwinner, technically, and if you aren't making that money, you can take him for as much money as the judge is going to give you.

Speaker 2 They're going to probably give you the money. It is so much more advantageous for you,

Speaker 2 money-wise, for you divorce. Yeah.
Right? With men, I understand in a way. You got to kill them.
Yes. Well, do I mean you have to kill them?

Speaker 2 It's very, what I find interesting and I guess ironic about the entire thing is that they were married. Did you see this? They were married

Speaker 2 at the haunted mansion in Disneyland.

Speaker 2 I mean, why not? That's how much money's that. But the attic scene.
Constance Hatchaway. She kills all her husbands.
It was fucking there all along.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Yeah, so she's saying she's Kaiser.

Speaker 2 You're saying she's Kaiser Soze? Yeah, the point of the it's it's in the plot, Ugly Ride where they got married.

Speaker 2 It's very possible that the bride kills her husbands, but he was already doing that, and it's really sad because he's like a real wife guy, too. He's taking lots of pictures of her.

Speaker 2 So ugly, it's hard. This is three weeks ago.
I know, dude, there's a picture.

Speaker 2 They were miner golfing with, and he posted, he posted a picture of them mini golfing with the caption, My Valentine always beats me at mini golf. Yeah, oh man, Maybe he lost the bet.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that this is she really looks really

Speaker 2 happy in this picture. Yeah, because it's she does too, but I don't trust her.
No, you shouldn't after, you know, because this is post trying to kill him. Yes.

Speaker 2 That's this this picture is after she, because this hit was put discussed in what, December? Oh, yeah. And then Aaron, he basically, he came forward and he said to TMZ, he was blindsided.

Speaker 2 He thought he had a happy marriage. And that's got to be the worst of all.
Because in the end, you don't.

Speaker 2 she is already like think about how intense that is too where it's not like she's the sound guy it's not like she's

Speaker 2 somebody some other professional like your booking agent maybe she may be we don't know that we don't know but that's what she decided to do was to seduce an ex-con all the way in florida i know because maybe she felt like that would give her some to be on i think maybe it'd give her some distance how did she find that guy also he's not an ex-con a current he was in jail she was was going to get, apparently, he was going to get it.

Speaker 2 It sounds like, which I don't understand. It says inmate, but then she says all this stuff like, did you already do it? Blah, blah, blah, which means.
Well, that he knows a guy who he's sending.

Speaker 2 How many people are in fault here? What is it? I know.

Speaker 2 She's obviously not good at it. No, no, no, no.
It didn't get done. Again, you got to do it yourself, guys.
Yeah. If you really want to murder, you can't trust all these people.

Speaker 2 You're getting cut off the middleman. We're looking at a picture of them kissing on some rocks.
Push them off the rocks.

Speaker 2 That's what they could have done right here.

Speaker 2 That's free. We learned that.

Speaker 2 That's totally free. Although there is a cameraman, obviously.
Guess who you have to kill next? Yeah. Or guess who you get in on it? Guess what the inmate should have been? Dress as a photographer.

Speaker 2 This could have all been done ahead of time. The inmate could have been the fall guy.
He could have set it up. You just go like, I'm just going to go over here a little bit.

Speaker 2 Do you have any idea that what would happen if you just show your men your breasts and then he's in the confused state of looking at breasts? You could just push him right off the cliff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's that easy. I'd also love immediately people, keeppeople.com.
First comment. She's cute.

Speaker 2 First comment.

Speaker 2 That sounds like something you'd say. Yep.

Speaker 2 But also, if you wanted someone to kill this guy, should have reached out to Hulu. Should have reached out to Hulu.
Hulu would love to get some marketing here. They love Hitman shows.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they really do. They really, really do.
Now, talk about this.

Speaker 2 We'll go into this other story because this kind of reminds me of this, is that who they definitely shouldn't have hired is this group of fucking chucklehead stooges that tried to rob amaranth oh my god now amaranth is a i'm gonna go ahead and call her a queen of the internet yes she is people just say i actually feel like when the way that they talk about her on this and the story they they kind of minimize her as an OnlyFans model.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Amaranth is a.
But she is. She is.
But she is like kind of like a symbol in many ways. She's like the OG hardcore

Speaker 2 hot tub streamer. She flipped it all into a business.
She's dealt with bullshit with her fucking, I believe her ex-husband, she was like held a prisoner. Amaranth has actually been through the ringer.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I will say. 6.2 million followers.
She's huge. Amaranth is huge.
And this is on Twitch. She games and she talks.

Speaker 2 And you know, whatever you think about her, just know that she is technically an empire onto her own. Yeah.
And she's, she, I've never heard of her before this week.

Speaker 2 And I was you know, I was researching, and I got to say,

Speaker 2 she's unattractive. Yeah, what a gross.
Yeah, I can't, I couldn't

Speaker 2 imagine why anybody would want to look at these

Speaker 2 videos. Gross.
Yeah. Get out of here.
Uggo, but even Uggos don't deserve to be robbed, Eddie. My wife listens.
No, they don't. They even just.

Speaker 2 But this lady, the one thing that Amaranth did incorrect, okay, let's get this out of here, right? Now I'm I'm just looking at Brad. I can't look at these pictures.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. Amaranth is very attractive.

Speaker 2 Why did they do this to her? Because.

Speaker 2 And this is the other thing that I want to say. She's a young person, a little bit more.
She's younger than us. She's 11 years younger.
She's like 30. She's not young enough.
She's 31 years old.

Speaker 2 She's not young enough to have done this, but I will say this to people.

Speaker 2 You have to think about who you're saying things to on the internet, even if you are this big, especially if you are this big.

Speaker 2 So she said to her 6.5 million just on Twitch that she was, had amassed over 20 million dollars in Bitcoin. Now, these guys decided, which I guess is like,

Speaker 2 which is the saddest thing of all. It's probably not that difficult to find her.
Yeah. That there's probably, she's probably been doxxed multiple times already.
It's probably not that far away.

Speaker 2 She makes videos every day. She does.
And so they, so according to her,

Speaker 2 three men, masked men, broke into her home

Speaker 2 and pistol whipped her, hit her several times. And they said,

Speaker 2 where is this money? We know that you have 20 million in Bitcoin. So they,

Speaker 2 because we watched the video of her being attacked earlier, or her being chased into her house, rather. Well, actually, she

Speaker 2 was chased.

Speaker 2 So the way it works is, is that they came in, they first attacked her, they tied her up.

Speaker 2 And they started beating her.

Speaker 2 Then she said, if you want the money, my husband is the one that can give you access to it.

Speaker 2 Because this is also the silliest thing about Bitcoin is that in order for them to steal it, they have to put a gun to her head, which is what they did, and basically say, you have to get on the internet and you have to transfer your money to my account.

Speaker 2 Like you have to go log in. It's like a literal paper trail.
Yes. So they would have gotten caught.

Speaker 2 Eddie, I'll never understand the fake money thing and how new fake money is better than the old fake money. I'll never understand.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know because some people say, oh, it's actually a unique code. And then some people say, oh, you steal the code.

Speaker 2 I have no idea how it works. I've had you guys explain crypto to me 90 times.
I'd rather have less money than be involved. I just couldn't give a fucking shit.
I just couldn't give a shit.

Speaker 2 But she, like, was worth a lot of it. And so these guys are all fumbling, trying to figure out how to get the money.
And eventually she says, my husband can give you access.

Speaker 2 So what you see in the video, so this video that came out on law and crime, you're watching them go go from the front house to the back house.

Speaker 2 So Amaranth is leading the three robbers to the back house. Oh, that's her driveway? Oh, yeah, dude.
That's her personal driveway? That's her compound. Man, she does really well for herself.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And so they went to the back house, and as they're going... That's why there's dogs everywhere.
Oh, yes, it's a whole compound. That's why she has the, I told you, you could see three custom cars.

Speaker 2 She's got an escalade. She's got a custom G-Wagon.
She's doing very well. And so they went in there where her husband was lying in wait with a gun.

Speaker 2 Now, the reason why he even knew what was going on, which is why I'm still kind of confused, was that instead of calling 911 in the heat of the moment, she tweeted, I am getting robbed.

Speaker 2 Well, because she couldn't call 911 because they're standing over her, but she could probably tweet with her fucking eyes closed.

Speaker 2 And that's what she said is that she was doing it because they were trying to get her to log into her Bitcoin account. And she's like, I am, I am, I'm logging in.

Speaker 2 And she said, with this, I mean, just shows we all need to work on our media literacy, including robbers, is that they looked and they saw that, they didn't see that she was in her account.

Speaker 2 She was tweeting. And her husband saw the tweet

Speaker 2 in the back house, armed himself. She, and this is a couples need a plan like this.
I mean, it seems like, I mean, they put themselves in a rough situation, but it seems like they were kind of ready.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. She brought him to the back house, husband lit him up, shot one of the robbers, and they ran away.
And so this shows you gotta be. But they can't catch the guys.
No.

Speaker 2 How? How are they not able to... They gave their Bitcoin account to her, right? No.
They were just trying to get, I think the goal was to have her log in, then they take the phone. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 But then she was like, oh, I can't. Oh, oh.
Yeah. Very smart.
Very smart. I think.

Speaker 2 She should shift it to real estate. No, I think that people should subscribe to her OnlyFans and watch her videos.
I think that they do, Eddie. I know she needs some more.

Speaker 2 If you have crypto, I say give it to her. I am going to say, Eddie, that while I do support Amaranth, she's doing very well.
You just want to buy her things. People do.
People buy her stuff all day.

Speaker 2 She is very well bought for.

Speaker 2 She is doing very, very well. But we just want to say good luck to you, Amaranth.
We hope that you're okay. Meg Turney, same thing.

Speaker 2 We had a friend, Meg Turney that was also a model that went through the same shit, got fucking brutally robbed, tied up, beat, horrible. She's another wonderful lady that did not deserve it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so you need an armed husband? I honestly, I think that

Speaker 2 this is where we need Boston dynamic dogs.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Well, she has three dogs.
I know they did nothing. They did nothing.
They were too good. They were running back and forth.
They were too cute.

Speaker 2 They were actually just adorable. Yes, they were being too cute.
They were not killing the robbers. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow, this is wild.
Yep.

Speaker 2 You know, but, you know, we'll we'll find, I'm sure they'll find these guys eventually. I mean, even if they don't, it's just knowing that you better be careful who you come for.
All right.

Speaker 2 Because even though she might be a hot tub streamer, she might be packing.

Speaker 2 All right. Well,

Speaker 2 there's some guys that's going to be, but there's one guy's going to be packing. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I love this. So, all right, so we were talking about how it was $11,000 for someone for desire to hit me.
It's crazy, right? $11,000 to kill a famous human being. Yes.

Speaker 2 Like, legitimately has 20 seasons of television.

Speaker 2 So difficult. And also, she was arranging the hit to be done on set.
Yes. So where there's cameras.
Yeah. Fucking insane.
But for $1,000 more. $1,000 more dollars.

Speaker 2 You can be Gene Simmons' assistant for one day. So Gene Simmons is doing the solo tour.
This is the funniest concept I've ever heard. And so he put out this dumb shit, this fucking asshole.

Speaker 2 He put out this thing.

Speaker 2 He's such a beast. What a fucking dickhead.
It's all like, so basically it's Rody for a day. Yeah.
It's a special.

Speaker 2 VIP package for his solo tour where you get to hang out and assist Gene Simmons. You're literally doing manual labor, setting up for the band show.

Speaker 2 You are going to sit in on sound check and arrive at the venue with the band and hang out backstage for $12,495.

Speaker 2 That's so amazing. Tell a Roadie.
If you know a Roadie, tell a Roadie and ask them, be like, are you happy about this? Yeah, how much do you get paid? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Did you get $12,000 a day?

Speaker 2 A day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or DeGene Simmons to just watch you do it.
That just made me laugh so much. It's such a fucking silly idea.

Speaker 2 Yeah, according to the listing, the high roller will go home with a set list signed by Simmons and assigned rehearsal-used bass guitar.

Speaker 2 That's well, well, rehearsal-used bass guitar could be worth a couple of thousand.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Guitar is pretty expensive.

Speaker 2 Guitar itself, probably Gene Simmons guitar. Yeah, one Gene Simmons guitar, it's probably itself worth like between two and three thousand dollars.
Yeah, but where are you going to sell it?

Speaker 2 At one of those fake autograph stores with the Mirage, you know, yes,

Speaker 2 that's where you sell them. You know, R.I.P.

Speaker 2 Mirage, but last time I was there, I went into their autograph store because I love going to those stupid autograph stores, and they're all obviously fake, you know.

Speaker 2 But my favorite was I was walking around, and one of the autographs they had there was Leonardo da Vinci.

Speaker 2 I remember, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's just like, wow.
How do you mention just yet? Hey, who does that impress? Like, who does it make like wet?

Speaker 2 We're like, as you can see right here, I have Da Vinci's autograph.

Speaker 2 Like, you wait until I know. I got the VIP meeting greet with it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I said,

Speaker 2 let me tell you a thing or two about helicopters, propellers.

Speaker 2 We go with propellers.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Well, I really hope no one does this stupid fucking Gene Simmons thing.
He,

Speaker 2 all right, you know. What if we do $15,000? You pay me.
Uh-huh. You get to do the podcast.
What am I

Speaker 2 for an episode? If you pay me directly $15,000. Can I still have to come to work? No, I'm talking about the fans.
Oh, the fans fans. This is a VIP experience.
I thought you were talking to me.

Speaker 2 No, this is a guy. I'm not giving you money to do it.
No, no, no, I already do. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 This is a VIP experience for last podcast and left listeners that I want you to say you directly Venmo me

Speaker 2 $15,000. And then they do the show with me? They get to do the show.
Yep. With me.
So I have to carry the dead weight. They care.
No, they have to do me. They are you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But they're guaranteed dead weight. And how much do I get? Same.
I get another 15 grand? No, same weight you always get. Your normal fees.
Your normal payment. Well, then it's not going to work out.

Speaker 2 I won't show up. You won't show up for the fan experience? No.
All right. $3,000 goes to you.
Okay. Yep.

Speaker 2 Done.

Speaker 2 Did order the deal.

Speaker 2 Man, I tell you what, I've hung out with Gene Simmons before, and

Speaker 2 he sucks. Yeah, I've heard he's not a nice guy.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 he's shitty to be around. He's not fun.
I don't like him. His daughter's very nice.
His daughter is very nice. Really? Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, it makes me sad because, I mean, obviously he was never, you know, he is the most capitalist rock star of all time. He is unabashed about it.
You know who is great? Dee Snyder.

Speaker 2 Complete delight. Exonerated by time.
Yeah, he was. Another one of those guys.
He's just

Speaker 2 so much, so much fun. Just normal.
Hanging out. You know, who's around you? You know who basically got exonerated by time, too, is Sammy Hagar.
Oh, yeah. He's completely neutral.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, no one cares. You know, like, you know, he doesn't have like, yeah, obviously, he's got Cabo.
Cabo Wabo's fucking crushing it, but you don't really see too many problematic characters there.

Speaker 2 No. You know what I mean? I kind of figured that like Nilos Annopoulos and stuff would be there.
You know what I mean? Yeah. But no.
Just fucking normal ass guys. Yeah, he's fine.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Go check it out. Go to see Cabo Wabo.
Yeah. And Sammy Hagar says he doesn't want to tour anymore.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's fucking seven. He's 74 years old.
He shouldn't tour anymore.

Speaker 2 He has enough to do with the restaurant. Right now.
Come out. It's everything.

Speaker 2 Right now. Just magic molen.
Do it right. He's now.

Speaker 2 So, um, Lazio,

Speaker 2 Sack Falconer. All right, all right.
Now, Lazio is the name of the Italian soccer team. The Sierra A Club.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that's that's a Lazio, which I believe I don't know what that means, a term involved, but the statement read, S. S.
Lazio Spa. shocked to see the photographic and video images of Mr.

Speaker 2 Juan Bernabi. Now, Mr.
Juan Bernabi, those of you that aren't aware, he was the falconer for the Italian soccer team, Rowan of the East, so the widow is Lazio, right?

Speaker 2 And so whatever they have, I guess, one of their

Speaker 2 mascots is an eagle, a bald eagle that flies around.

Speaker 2 And this man

Speaker 2 his job is to watch the eagle. Now, if you look at this man, first thing I say in my head is,

Speaker 2 it's Signore Clean,

Speaker 2 because he looks like Mr. Clean.

Speaker 2 And we know he's super, super clean because his penis has been seen by many, many people now because he posted it.

Speaker 2 Why did he post it? Because he wanted to show off his absolutely impressive penile implant surgery. That's right.
Now, they said that enough was enough. The company said they were really upset.

Speaker 2 The company who apologizes to the people of Italy, watch him kiss, he's kissing the eagle with that mouth.

Speaker 2 The company is aware of the pain shared by all that the loss of the eagle in the next home games will cause to the fans, but believes that it's not possible to be associated, all of us, and especially with the historical symbol of the eagle, with a subject with its initiative has made the continuation of the relationship inadmissible.

Speaker 2 That's a little bit roundabout way of saying they fired him because he put his penis on social media. Now, he says that he didn't.

Speaker 2 He said that he posted his own personal penile implant picture to his own Facebook profile, which is public. It's a private profile.
But it's public because it's on the internet. So

Speaker 2 he posted this picture, and somehow

Speaker 2 this amazing picture of his extremely well-made

Speaker 2 close friends group on Instagram that I'm like, we're not close friends. But it's kind of fun.
I like to see. I'm like, oh.
Yeah. That's nice.
It's nice that you think of me that way. Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 2 But this guy,

Speaker 2 what I love about this guy is that he does not fucking care in the most Italian way possible. He says, I put the video on my private profile, so it's a private thing.

Speaker 2 If people then circulate it, oh, what can I do? And so he literally is unaffected. He says, my conscience is clear.
I published it only to let people know about the surgery.

Speaker 2 They said, did you regret posting the images? He said, absolutely not. I have never regretted anything, let alone doing it for something that has a medical purpose.
Right? So, he says he needs it.

Speaker 2 He said that his sexual desires were rampant.

Speaker 2 He said,

Speaker 2 This is, again, this is to a reporter, guys. This is to an out loud source.
This is to somebody who he knows is writing it down. Oh, my God.
That's the picture? Yeah. Yeah.
This is the picture.

Speaker 2 He's so happy. Oh, my God.
This is why they fired him. That's why they fired him is because it's the single worst picture of a peanut implant.

Speaker 2 The average cost of this, Henry,

Speaker 2 you would need to work for Gene Simmons twice to cover this. It goes up to $25,000.
The single worst picture I have ever seen. He is.
Okay, let me try to describe this. He is.
His face is beet red.

Speaker 2 He has a smiling ear to ear. Ear to ear.
The way he's positioned is the most.

Speaker 2 He's in so much pain. He is just, he's got an obvious kind of bandage there.
He's laying there like a corpse with a fully, fully.

Speaker 2 He does look like a Falconer.

Speaker 2 At least you say it before. Now it's got a third perch.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 This motherfucker is so happy with how crystal hard his dick is. He's like making a self-portrait.
All of the doctors are just like, you see, easy. And you're all just, what?

Speaker 2 They are just fine with it.

Speaker 2 People always get mad when I do this, but I always try to look at things from the,

Speaker 2 you know, the person's point of view. And if he assumes this is a private profile, and he's sharing his new surgery,

Speaker 2 his $25,000 surgery. Who's on the closed one? You know, like.
Is his nieces on there? Is his nephews on there? We don't know. It's also, I don't think that that.
Yes. I just think that.

Speaker 2 You know what it is? How do I say this?

Speaker 2 If I got a new dick, I'd show you. Of course.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 In person. We talked about this.
I'd send you a pic.

Speaker 2 You want to check out my new dick. One picture.
New dick here. Who this? Okay.
That's again, totally fine. New picture.

Speaker 2 If you send a picture privately to one person, he still posted it on a social media profile. Yes.
He posted it for everyone. If you just sent it to me.
But

Speaker 2 it was a private profile. I have no problems with you sending me pictures of your new science-built penis.

Speaker 2 It's just the smile on his face. It wasn't like...

Speaker 2 The smile does kind of make it bad. But the thing is, it's not like he was harassing anybody.
It's just like, check out this thing I did. Throw a towel on it.
It's like a tattoo.

Speaker 2 Well, if you throw a towel on it, you can't show anybody. Yeah, you can.
It'll look like a ghost. I don't know.

Speaker 2 And then he says here, I added the surgery to increase my sexual performance because I am very active.

Speaker 2 I need to ejaculate whenever I have free time. This is direct quotes, people.
Yeah. A wonderful surgery.
I had to be as good as I was when I was young. My erection is a natural.

Speaker 2 But with this device, I press a button that allows me to perfectly control both the erection and the timing.

Speaker 2 So he can be erect at the grocery store, you can be erect at the DMV.

Speaker 2 He says, I would advise people to have this procedure because previously I relied daily, daily, on the pills to increase my sexual potency.

Speaker 2 Being able to control my erection is a step forward for my life. Oh, so you had erectile dysfunction? No.
He's saying he needed it just to fuck more.

Speaker 2 He was just taking pills recreationally to keep his dick hard so that he could fuck multiple times. I hate when people call erectile dysfunction ED because it just spells my name.

Speaker 2 Wink.

Speaker 2 Sounds like a branding opportunity.

Speaker 2 Someone put the end in erectile dysfunction.

Speaker 2 Being able to control my erection is a step forward for my life. When I have a free time, I always want to have a sex.
I would like to do it at least once or twice a day.

Speaker 2 This guy's horny. This once or twice a day.
Fuck. This guy's horny, horny, horny, horny, horny.
To the point where he blew out his penis organs. I imagine a lot of ladies love him.

Speaker 2 I mean, he's a Falconer at a soccer match, you know, in Europe. I imagine he's a sought-after gentleman.

Speaker 2 What is it about...

Speaker 2 I don't know. You don't think he is? You know what it is?

Speaker 2 His whole thing is given RFK Jr. Oh, that's a back.
He's definitely. Yeah, it is.
Look at that. I appreciate it.
Don't you even make fun of that back. That's my goal back.
Man, that's a

Speaker 2 fucking goal. God, run a comb through it.
It's a very hairy back.

Speaker 2 I have the same back, and it's a virile man. As you can tell, you don't have the same back.
No, but that is a viral man's back. Oh, it definitely is.

Speaker 2 He needed to have a cyborg penis to keep up with his balls. And that is a picture of a bald eagle on the wall of his bed.
His bedroom. What's that eagle life? He loves eagles.

Speaker 2 Can you see the translation? What's the eagle doing now?

Speaker 2 It's not his eagle. It's the team's eagle.
It's traumatized.

Speaker 2 Good morning, everyone. Thank you very much for those who were with me yesterday at Castellina to give us a support, the friendship, and the love.
I thank you all with my heart.

Speaker 2 I have a wonderful week and surrounded by friends and family. He's always nude in this.
Now, all I can see is him naked with that absolutely massive erection today.

Speaker 2 Are you surprised that he even performs? I mean, it's Italy, though. Isn't everyone just naked? Italy is actually a lot more,

Speaker 2 not prudish, but it's prudish. It's a Catholic country.
It's very religious. It actually fucks more than any other country.
But it's a surprisingly conservative country.

Speaker 2 It has a very large conservative streak. There is also the Catholic thing, which is massive there.

Speaker 2 All I know is we were on one boat in Italy, and the guy who drove the boat tried to fuck both of our wives. I mean, it's because also

Speaker 2 he runs a boat and he was just, man, I'll always remember the guy. Oh, you don't need, we are alone on this boat.
We do not need the bathing suits. Do you remember that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was like, his daughter's the only other person on the boat. And he just, and he only directed that at Julie Natalie.
Yes. No, no, he would definitely beat it.

Speaker 2 Your wives do not need the bathing suits.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this guy's fucking horny, man. All right.
So, yeah, I'm big ring. Big ring.
But he probably got that. Oh, he kissed it.
He keeps kissing the easy eagle. He keeps kissing it.

Speaker 2 I don't know why he's kissing the eagle so much. All I want.
Oh, stop kissing the eagle likes it, it seems like. You know what I am going to say? Is that

Speaker 2 ripping his face off? If the next piece of news is. The Eagles looking at the camera, like, what's this fucking guy doing?

Speaker 2 If he fucks this Eagle, if he's been fucking the Eagles, we're going to be talking. I mean, all right, because you know who's the only person who's allowed to fuck the Eagles?

Speaker 2 You know the one who is allowed to fuck the Eagles? Glenn Fry. Ooh,

Speaker 2 he's gone. I'm a man.
Rest in peace. I'm a fucking man.

Speaker 2 Got his fucking ass. I saw the Eagles after Glenn Fry died, and they had Bob Seeger sit in for his section, which was pretty fucking awesome.
That's a pretty good one. It was like an upgrade.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 2 I didn't want to say I was happy he was dead, but it was a nice coincidence. We weren't complaining.

Speaker 2 Actually, now that you're dead, I actually can see a lot of great options.

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Speaker 3 Hey, weirdos.

Speaker 4 I'm Elena and I'm Ash, and we are the hosts of Morbid Podcast.

Speaker 3 Each week, we dive into the dark and fascinating world of true crime, spooky history, and the unexplained.

Speaker 4 From infamous killers and unsolved mysteries to haunted places and strange legends, we cover it all with research, empathy, humor, and a few creative expletives.

Speaker 3 It's smart, it's spooky, and it's just the right amount of weird.

Speaker 4 Two new episodes drop every week, and there's even a bonus once a month.

Speaker 3 Find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

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It's easy for you to learn different words.

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Speaker 2 You can learn that. If you go to Mexico City and you want to learn how to say,

Speaker 2 Do you have any see-through laterhosen?

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Speaker 2 all right so this story um this next one now it's not the story itself isn't that interesting but i had some questions about it and maybe people can uh get back to us and let us know what they think side stories lpot

Speaker 2 gmail.com um so a suspect in a florida jewelry theft um this happened in orlando swallows seven hundred and seventy thousand worth of Tiffany earrings just before his arrest.

Speaker 2 And we don't recommend this. No.

Speaker 2 He got caught. He said, Am I going to get in trouble for what's inside my body? Is one of the quotes that he had.

Speaker 2 And then they x-rayed him and found out for sure that he has the earrings in the middle of his body.

Speaker 2 And so now he has to pass the earrings so they can give it back to Tiffany and Co. And what we want to know is side stories help P-OTL at gmail.com.
Number one, from our medical community.

Speaker 2 He also, he looks pretty muscular. He was quite fit.
He said, I wonder, will these even come out of him? Yes. And if they do, and they do go back to Tiffany's, will they be at a discounted rate?

Speaker 2 I'll tell you right now because. Because it went through a human shit river.
I'm going to do this. Right now, Tiffany's, I'll take them off your hands.
Five grand. Five grand? Yeah, take off you.

Speaker 2 Take them off your hands. All right.

Speaker 2 People don't want them poo-poo diets. Tiffany's.
Ten grand. You go, whoa, hey, we're in a binny war.
10 grand. Amen.
Pooh, 10 poo.

Speaker 2 Don't come against me, man. No, I'm not coming against you.
I just want to buy Julie something nice. Yeah, but then.

Speaker 2 But I'm never going to spend more than 10 grand on earrings, so I might as well get really nice ones for her. Yeah, but I don't know if they can, because I'm willing to go up to 12.

Speaker 2 Are you willing to go up to 12 or are you going up to 12? We'll see what happens. Well, I mean, tell Tiffany's, right? I'm going to wait till the very end of the auction.

Speaker 2 Oh, well, the auction's closed for 10.

Speaker 2 Fuck you. Timothy Mike.
No, I do want to know. I feel like we should be able to get a discount.
These are poo-poo diamonds. These are poo-poo diamonds.

Speaker 2 You don't mean to tell me, because like no matter what you do, when you give these poo-poo diamonds to whoever you love. It's got to be less than half a mil.

Speaker 2 When you're $770 now, when they resell these diamonds. $15,000.
Now, what if he dies?

Speaker 2 What if he dies? Because if you swallow a tooth, you can cut off your esophagus and you could die. To be honest, I think that if he dies, it pushes it up.
You think it makes it more expensive?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Is there a murder weapon?

Speaker 2 Do they go in him and cut these earrings out and then give them back to Tiffany's or is he buried with them? If I was Tiffany, I would do exactly.

Speaker 2 I don't know if Tiffany's is allowed to say whether or not. This is how you don't think it's even legal ground here.

Speaker 2 You don't think that Tiffany's doesn't have like a contingency plan for this or like a morgue? There's no way that there's not a Tiffany's morgue.

Speaker 2 You know, all in that like blue color, whatever they do. You know, that Tiffany blue.

Speaker 2 This is actually, I do think that while this is a silly question. He could easily die.
The back of these earrings could rip up his intestines. But what if this man can get sepsis and die?

Speaker 2 Talk about blood diamonds. Seriously.
Yes, exactly. Blood and stool diamonds.
Now, I wonder if you, for Tiffany's,

Speaker 2 it's not that this hasn't happened before, but I don't think that they... I've never heard of it.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you'd leave behind i don't know what tiffany's rules would be like i wonder if if for insurance purposes if they would just cut him open and take the the

Speaker 2 things out of him i also truly do believe that if they kill him i think if they get it out with him not dying yeah they want him to just pass it he's shitting in a bucket currently yeah which

Speaker 2 lucky bucket he's not even

Speaker 2 lucky bucket oh the uh but no he uh yeah, no, they're not even letting him use the toilet. He's got to use it.

Speaker 2 No, he's got, you know, so I mean, no, because all they're waiting for is jingle, jingle, jingle. Think about that all day long.
You're just waiting for the jingle.

Speaker 2 What if he immediately swallows a mechanic? Oh, that's what I do.

Speaker 2 What are you going to do now? Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 But I wonder if Tiffany's, like, if he does, if it passes all the way through, I think that honestly, the real answer, we'll see if this is correct or not.

Speaker 2 I think the real answer will be they would harvest the diamonds from it and they would melt down the metal and they would remake them

Speaker 2 into other earrings. But the diamonds themselves

Speaker 2 still were covered in shit at one point. But I think if you wipe them off with a couple of easy wipes and then you throw them in a batch of a bunch of other diamonds, you wouldn't even know.

Speaker 2 You don't think that it lowers the price to at least

Speaker 2 30 grand? I,

Speaker 2 for me, as the man trying to purchase the poo-woo diamonds, yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't think anyone buys these for the 770 000 that they're trying to sell them for i don't think so unless again they make them all the way through because then that shows how resilient they are yeah well i mean i didn't think if they kill them

Speaker 2 i think they kill him it goes the price goes up you think if you think kills them it goes up i would i'd pay because then think about the true crime people that love money and have money like you know that concept of these earrings killed a man that are on the the lobes of a woman how does that not make you women wet is crazy zach saggins i'm looking at at you but think about that ladies yeah oh yeah oh yeah i feel like you guys would like i think ladies would like especially these days they'd be like uh yeah my earrings have a death count

Speaker 2 you know what i mean like i think people

Speaker 2 diamonds have a death count well i like the lab ones because they're just easy to do and also again i don't think

Speaker 2 i don't think a diamond's even worth it unless it comes from the hands of a child That's a great point. And that's the reason why

Speaker 2 we do work with glutenile because they do better. Yeah.
And if you guys want, we're going to be selling Last Podcast on LF Diamond soon. Yes.
Yeah. As an upgrade to the Stitcher Premium Plan.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be choking them down and shitting them out

Speaker 2 so that you can have them. But the only way you get to have them is you keep the shit on them.
They call them a pubic zirconi. Yes.

Speaker 2 I'd love to find out. Is he going to live? Yeah, he definitely can die.
And we have one last story for you all today.

Speaker 2 And that is the Texas Rocket Man is recovering after a county fair mishap. This happened close to us.
Yes, this was in India. This is the Riverside Fair.
Yeah, the Rocket Man, Chachi Valencia.

Speaker 2 Great name. Great.
Chachi.

Speaker 2 For a Rocket Man, Chachi is kind of the best name for a Rocket Man. But tell me about this.

Speaker 2 All right, so this is a little... This might get...

Speaker 2 Some people might get a little maybe upset about this, but I'm not saying that this is because he's an inessential worker. I'm just curious.
Now,

Speaker 2 Chachi Valencia, his job, it's his whole life, is to be shot out of a cannon. Yes.
Now, he's done this several times, but he did this over the weekend.

Speaker 2 Now, he fucked up this weekend by shooting himself out of a cannon, and I guess he misjudged the wind. So if you see the video of him doing it, it's like you could definitely see it hurts.

Speaker 2 He hits the edge of the net, bounces up, spins around, slams down onto his body, right? He fucking falls down, he crushes a bunch of bones, he breaks his wrist. He did hit the net

Speaker 2 for a second. He lived.

Speaker 2 Now, obviously, he's very resilient. This is a tough man that's been doing this for, he does this for a living.
I don't think there's any way this is the first time he's fell.

Speaker 2 Well, he's had a couple of mishaps. He's had to get a couple of near misses.
But the one thing I do find curious, now tell me about this.

Speaker 2 I don't mean this to sound cutthroat here, but there is a GoFundMe being set up to

Speaker 2 help Chachi Valencia get money to recuperate so that he's because all the money he's going to lose not being able to get shot out of a cannon for the next several months. Yes.
But I

Speaker 2 have medical bills. But how do I say, yes, like, obviously, GoFundMe, like, it's really sad that we're in this place.
People need these GoFundMes.

Speaker 2 I don't think this man has insurance. No.
But there's, because who would insure the Rocket Man? Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I wonder, is this maybe not

Speaker 2 maybe

Speaker 2 Mother Nature herself telling you to slow down, Chachi?

Speaker 2 And maybe, Chachi, it's time for the rocket man to come down to earth. And then maybe if you're making little things like this, next time, Chachi, it might not be a near miss.

Speaker 2 It might be a full-on, you get shot into a

Speaker 2 fucking cavern, you get shot into a gulch. It was a sudden, unexpected gust of wind.

Speaker 2 He is the Texas rocket man, and this happened in California.

Speaker 2 We know about the winds. We had the fires.

Speaker 2 It pops up, especially especially in Riverside. But you can look it up online.
South by the windmills. I think you got to check with a

Speaker 2 unexpected gust. I know, but you got to find it.
Also, it's got to be pretty strong to fucking push a human body. It must have been, it was enough.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Unless there was somebody trying to kill the Rocket Man. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 This is from the GoFundMe page. We're reaching out with some difficult news about Chachi, the incredible human cannibal artist known as the Rocket Man Valencia.

Speaker 2 Recently at the Riverside County Fair and National Date Festival.

Speaker 2 Oh, the food.

Speaker 2 Okay, the food date. All right, good, because the date festival in Riverside seems like it could get rough.

Speaker 2 A sudden and unexpected gust of wind tragically altered his performance. During his act, a strong gust of wind caught him midair, causing him to miss the safety net.

Speaker 2 He struck the side of the net, it catapulted him out, and unfortunately landed on the asphalt. Oh, yeah, he got jacked up.
Now, I know there's a net there, but why not have some pads down also?

Speaker 2 Because that's not nearly as impressive, Eddie.

Speaker 2 I don't think anyone would notice. I would.
You would you? First thing I'd say is pussy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What a pussy. Oh, he needs more than a net.
Yeah. Chachi is a dedicated performer who brings joy and excitement to audiences, a breathtaking marvel in skill and daring.

Speaker 2 His depth-defying stunt as electrified crowds at the London Olympics closing ceremony. That's pretty fucking awesome.
That's pretty big.

Speaker 2 NASCAR and Formula One events and the secret weapon in Rio de Janeiro's carnival competition. It is wild, man.
To have that life. Think about that.
That that's what you do.

Speaker 2 You travel the world getting shot out of a can. It's just a matter of time.
Oh, of course. If this is your job, you're going to have a bad day at work at some point.

Speaker 2 Don't you kind of, if you have to do it, you have to prep for this, right? But don't you kind of want it? I mean, yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 But because I feel like that's what I would do with the very last one. Once I hit like 80, I'd be like, pull the net.

Speaker 2 all right, now we do it for real.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, like I feel like that could be, and then you just get splattered. Yeah, and he's coming back, though.
This is a

Speaker 2 he's just gonna take some time off, and he's gonna come back, the Rocket Man, you know.

Speaker 2 So, please, if you do feel like you need to support him, you can, but also, maybe again, I'm just saying, Rocket Man, yeah, maybe this is your wake-up call.

Speaker 2 I'm looking at his GoFundMe, and there's only one person put words of support, and it just says ding-dong.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Very sad.

Speaker 2 Not a single lesson learned. $10.

Speaker 2 Ding-dong, ding-dong.

Speaker 2 Why does that ding-dong?

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Why does it just say ding-dong?

Speaker 2 That must be a thing. Maybe it's an inside joke with that.
I don't know, but it's hilarious. I don't know.
But either way.

Speaker 2 Chachi, we love you, Chachi. We love you, Chachi.
I want the best for you. I hope you reach your goal.
I'm not donating, but we brought it up on the show.

Speaker 2 And so maybe someone will donate if you want to see the Riverside or the Texas Rocket Man Valencia. Honestly, he is a conversation.
He's turned to the sky. Go to his website.
The Rocketman Valencia.

Speaker 2 Just go to his website. Send a word of support through his email request.
I guess you could also just book him. Available.
Well, not right now.

Speaker 2 Can you look this up? How much is the book him? You got to reach out. Oh, you got to reach out.

Speaker 2 Because maybe that's what we'll do. Yeah, we'll book him.
Once he's better. How much do you think it could cost for one shot out of the cannon? $5,000.
Wow.

Speaker 2 Thousand. Thousand? Yeah.
Well, you got to get the cannon. You got to get the net.
I sadly think it's like, sadly, it's like $750. You really? Yeah.
You think so?

Speaker 2 Well, then they got to lower this $55,000 goal.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's $1,000. I think maybe you rent the thing.
How do I...

Speaker 2 It's not a thing you can look up. Why can't I look this up? Are you, are you?

Speaker 2 How much is a human cannibal?

Speaker 2 If you get shot out of a cannon, please write in let us know how much do you charge um we're not necessarily hiring you but we are just curious looking for estimates yeah yeah to see if it's something um that's in the budget yeah i'm looking for estimates here honestly because i'd say i'm gonna take a couple of options because basically if it's more expensive than a dog in a ballerina costume probably not going to do it unfortunately that's the choices we need to make in the 2025 economy

Speaker 2 yeah we'll have to look it up. We're going to have to try to book him.
He's got a booking agent. Yeah, of course he does.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Of course, if he's big enough to go to the London Olympics and shit like that, he must be fucking a very

Speaker 2 best at it. He must be.
It seems like it. Or one of.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I hope to see you back at work, Cha Chi.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's just, it's more of a spring. That's what I knew.
They don't actually shoot. It's RocketmanOne at live.com if you want to email him and wish him well.
I want to hang out with him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He actually seems like a blast. When's the last time you saw the movie Rocket Man? I haven't seen it in a long time.
I wonder if it sucks, though. Probably.

Speaker 2 Let's get some listener emails. Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go.

Speaker 2 Some really good ones this week. Yeah, we got some stuff on victim advocates, first-degree murder.

Speaker 2 Victim advocates, the one thing I will just say is thank you for the support I got from victim advocates. And the main thing that they said is I got a lot of backup and it truly treated me.

Speaker 2 Even the victim advocates agreed with you. Yes, and just make sure you just call a lawyer.
If you can afford a lawyer, call a lawyer.

Speaker 2 Talk to somebody with a lawyer, lawyer, a law degree from your state. Yeah.
It's extremely important too because all of the laws vary by state.

Speaker 2 And if you're very broke and you find a victim's advocate, maybe hit up your smartest friend and be like, does that seem real to you? I mean, I don't know, but it'll definitely call a fucking lawyer.

Speaker 2 Most lawyers, you could definitely find somebody that will pick up, at least pick up the phone.

Speaker 2 And that's just know that

Speaker 2 the people that reached out to, they're trained by the state and they really are, and they're confidential. Like people like this, a real victim's advocate is not going to blast you on social media.

Speaker 2 That is just not how it works. A victim's advocate is supposed to work for you alongside you, and it's not supposed to bring attention to themselves.

Speaker 2 It's actually the exact opposite of what they're supposed to do. Casey Anthony is the ultimate example of this parasitical version of this job.

Speaker 2 Caca woman, caca bitch, and Gypsy Rose Blanchard's coming out hard against her. Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 anyone knows about a bad mom. And that's the sad because I wish that she would have made it to my Marsh Madness pool.
Oh, Gypsy? Versus Casey. Oh, yeah.
Because Gypsy kills mothers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Casey kills daughters. Yeah, that is.
Right, so Jimmy, who's stronger? If you really want to go out, you want to talk about who's strong and Gypsy kills mothers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and she's got prison time under her belt. Oh, she's hard as fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
She can make a ratchet-ass fucking shit.

Speaker 2 But didn't her boyfriend and her just break up because he was Dr. Phil? He got broke up because of the social media presence,

Speaker 2 the OG boyfriend. But now she's back with the other guy.
The guy that she said had the five, the dick is fire. Oh, okay, yeah.
She's not with him anymore. She's with the other guy.
She's back with

Speaker 2 the big guy, Ken. No.
Yeah, Ken. She's with Ken now.
She's with Dumper? I thought Dumper was no, Dumper's gone. Ken is the new old one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's the old guy who's not the dumper that she was with originally. I like the dumper.
He's fine. He's super.
He's the only, you can tell he's a nice man. Couldn't handle the heat.

Speaker 2 No, he certainly could not. Gypsy Rose Blanchard, if she's one thing, red hot.

Speaker 2 Ugh.

Speaker 2 Here we go. Now let's get to this really gross story.
I love this. I don't know if it's a gross story.
It's just more, you never know how close families are. An unsettling story.

Speaker 2 So I've been a wedding bartender in North Carolina for five years and work at venues all over the state.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of downtime before a wedding, so it's common for vendors to swap interesting stories to pass the time. This is the craziest one I've heard.

Speaker 2 So the story goes that just before the ceremony, everyone is preparing to get lined up, doing final checks, and the groom is nowhere to be found. Where is he?

Speaker 2 So all the bridesmaids and groomsmen are looking around. The bride's getting frustrated.
All the guests are in their seats, walking around, searching the venue.

Speaker 2 The bride's sister starts hearing noises coming from a closet.

Speaker 2 So she opens the door, only to find the groom breastfeeding from his mother while the father is watching. I suppose, I guess, for some much-needed comfort before the stress of the wedding.

Speaker 2 Needless to say, the wedding was canceled. Now, nothing's got to be like, how do I put this? Is she still breastfeeding? It was, I think it was just dry, and it was for the feeling of it.

Speaker 2 He was sucking on her tits. Yes, he wasn't breastfeeding.
I honestly assuming if you're getting married, your mother is over 50.

Speaker 2 There's only two ways this counts in terms of that we can remotely kind of try to sort of

Speaker 2 like talk about this. And that if one, if one, your mother is Salma Hayek,

Speaker 2 two,

Speaker 2 your mother is Susan Sarandon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is the only way this is remotely acceptable. Or Amaranth.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Simply just because she needs the support. Yeah.
Now, but the idea of just wholeheartedly just sucking on a titty with no milk coming out of it on your wedding day is, I get it.

Speaker 2 We all handle stress differently.

Speaker 2 And for me, I'd find that situation itself very stressful. Also, if you have to do this, I suggest doing it at the hotel beforehand.

Speaker 2 We're not even telling you don't do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're not even saying hold back. It's your wedding day.
Yeah. We're saying have the good taste to do it back in the changing area.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 2 Not that day.

Speaker 2 Not the day of the wedding. The dad watching is the weird part.
I think he's just trying to make sure he did it right. This sounds like a backrooms video.
It does.

Speaker 2 I do.

Speaker 2 But I've talked, did I not talk about on the stream about how my entire algorithm I am getting this like breastfeeding thing? Really? It's a lot of that.

Speaker 2 It's a way to show tits, but without it, but they use the baby.

Speaker 2 And a lot of times they use a fake baby too to pretend suck on the tit and then they pull it off like oh, and just so you could see him a little bit. And so they see nipples on Instagram now?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Because of the breastfeeding? Yeah, look it up.
I don't know. I'm okay.
You know, I've never typed in the words.

Speaker 2 I had a family member who kept posting breastfeeding videos, and I wasn't happy about it. We've talked about this where I.
I'm okay with it. I'm happy about it.
If I was in the room, that's one thing.

Speaker 2 I'm not disgusted by it, and I don't even hate it, right? I don't think that it's bad. I think it's natural, and I think you need to breastfeed whenever you need to breastfeed.
But

Speaker 2 I think you're my little cousin. Please don't post it on Instagram stories.

Speaker 2 I would also say, just understand, we are doing everything in our power as men to not look at it because we don't want to see it. We actively don't want to see it.
I'm behaving myself.

Speaker 2 But the sucking and the tithy out makes our heads turn. It's a noise.

Speaker 2 There's nothing that we can do.

Speaker 2 Because how hard is this noise to ignore?

Speaker 2 If my dog is licking his foot at night,

Speaker 2 I flip out because the noise is so much.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, like if you sit over there and you got your six-year-old out and she's chomping on your fucking, getting, chomping on your tetons, getting their fucking whole milk, all right, I can't, I'm going to end up looking.

Speaker 2 And I don't want to. No one wants it.
We all hate it. But just know that's why I think it's cool.
But again, I also support. Suppose breastfeed in public.
Just put a blanket over everybody.

Speaker 2 Know that, yeah. And it's more of like if your family's around, I don't know.
We're just getting it. Now I'm getting it in trouble.
Now we're just getting it. It's a touchy subject, guys.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, it's a touchy subject. It's funny in a way.

Speaker 2 Super sucky. It's a sucky

Speaker 2 subject. Because I do, you know, but again, I support breastfeeding.

Speaker 2 I want you to breastfeed. Please breastfeed.
Do it at the restaurant. Do it at the airport.
I don't care. Do it at the police station.
Do it at the cracks. You don't need to put it on Instagram reels.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I guess maybe they like it.
But you like it. I don't like it.
And I'm asking for it not. I don't like it.
But you have been enjoying it. No, I just have seen it.
You've seen it.

Speaker 2 And you don't like it. No.
Say it again. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 No, because

Speaker 2 I don't want to see babies in there. That's not what breasts are for.
No. Well, it is technically exactly what they're for.
Yeah, for lame breasts. Now, let's go and look at this next story.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 unsubscribe. Unsubscribed.

Speaker 2 This is literally the non-toxic male podcast.

Speaker 2 Here we go.

Speaker 2 So we had a comment. We talked about Lori and Chad this week getting a hotel room for their non-heavy, petting, awkward, Christian, non-sex.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And this is just too much. When I was in college, I was in a sorority, and it was a relatively normal sorority, except for one girl.
She was a very conservative Christian.

Speaker 2 Not sure exactly which branch, but very fundamentalist. I think her parents wanted her to join because she would live with only girls and stay pure or something.
Yeah, good idea.

Speaker 2 She got engaged by the time she was 20, which we all awkwardly side-eyed because it's the only way they can have sex. That's why they get engaged in early.

Speaker 2 Boys are not allowed on the second floor of the house, but you could theoretically study with your boyfriend on the main level.

Speaker 2 One time her fiancé came over and they were hanging out in the living room while I was reading for class. We were probably like 10 feet or away from them.

Speaker 2 The two of them faced each other and they pressed their foreheads against each other, looking each other's eyes and breathing heavily together while holding hands.

Speaker 2 It was the most disgustingly intimate, uncomfortable thing I have secondhand experienced. And it went on for about 15 minutes.
Whoa, that's long. Oh, yeah.
Well, I just sat there.

Speaker 2 I was trying to read, not knowing if I should leave. Every so often, I would just hear a mmm,

Speaker 2 mm-hmm, mmm, from behind me, and I would internally scream. I think it would have actually been less weird if they just had sex in front of me.
I agree.

Speaker 2 Eventually, the awkwardness of the situation broke through to me, and I cough loudly, and I left the leave them with their weird breathing shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I think it's probably good that you're not sex and demolition man that is like what i wanted to bring up with the shells yeah yeah lori and chad got a hotel room and coneheads yeah yeah yeah yeah instead of doing that weird in a public park yeah that's like uh i don't know why they it's really gross it's so much worse than kiss than sex it's so much worse than sex getting married at 20 and pressing foreheads together is so much worse than having sex one time Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 2 Yes. At the same time, good for them.
No, fuck them.

Speaker 2 No one should be getting married at 20 years old. No, that I

Speaker 2 feel like I understand why you do, and I understand that people do it, and it's really not disparaging. I'm just saying just straight up as a now a 40-year-old.

Speaker 2 You get off on slapping foreheads and holding hands. Do whatever the fuck is it?

Speaker 2 It's good for you. I think it's fine.
Yeah. You just shouldn't, if you are getting off, though, you shouldn't get off in front of other people.
No.

Speaker 2 I mean, if that's your, if that is your sex, it shouldn't be behind a fucking closed door anyway. Yeah.
Because, again, I just don't need you guys doing mind chairs.

Speaker 2 The first is worse than the Falconer.

Speaker 2 You know what's funny? I sorta do too. Only just because the Falconer put it on.
Yes, he should not have posted it. No.

Speaker 2 The thing about the Falconer that saves it all is his own accepting attitude, is how Italian he is about it. That's what saves that story.

Speaker 2 It's the fact that he's not only not ashamed, but just so happy at how well his penis looks that he wanted to show the world and he was just proud of it and he got he took it he took accountability he saved up for it and he and he bought it but these are the people these guys pressing foreheads together are the same people that are making like

Speaker 2 Supreme Court decisions so yes so that's the thing that's what we're talking about here this is the problem is that if you can't put P in V

Speaker 2 he's you know we know he's you know he's being dirty now but I'm just saying these are the type of people where they come this is what we're looking at evangelicals and fundamentalists that's what Amy Barrett is with all these people yeah Just understand that if you can't put P and V, you cannot choose what to do with our country.

Speaker 2 That is what I consider.

Speaker 2 If you cannot, if you literally can't watch an R-rated movie, how in the literal fuck are you supposed to run the country United States of America when we are proudly built on war? Yes. All right.

Speaker 2 We are proudly built on bloodshed, and I won't have you deny it. You fucking dirty ass Christians.
Yeah. You fucking Christians, man.
So much work coming for you. I'd rather you openly butt fuck

Speaker 2 a runaway. Yeah.
You know?

Speaker 2 There you go.

Speaker 2 We ended strong today. We really did.

Speaker 2 We really, really did. What a day it was.
We got a lot of messaging in there, and I think that everybody who's heard us is more inspired.

Speaker 2 So in two days, if you want to hear more of this, we're going to be at the Ryman Auditorium. You bet, you're going to be on March 14th in Nashville, Tennessee.

Speaker 2 And I am going to love being in Nashville. I'm going to live the Nashville lifestyle going down there.
I'm going to get some way too hot for me, chicken. You are going to get the chicken.

Speaker 2 I don't know yet. I haven't decided.
I want to eat good. Honestly, if you.
Let's get the chicken on Saturday, the day after the show, so we don't have to worry about being sick.

Speaker 2 Could someone send me an email of what's like a good sleeper thing we should check out in Nashville on Saturday while we're in town?

Speaker 2 There's a good restaurant we should head up because I am just fucking, I'm already hungry thinking about Nashville. Yeah, no, I love eating there.

Speaker 2 It's one of the good towns for that. And then we're going to get our German food on Sunday in Huntsville.
That is March 16th. Henry and I are doing a special side stories in Huntsville.

Speaker 2 It's going to be a blast. I can't wait for it, man.
I cannot wait. Yeah, we're going to NASA.

Speaker 2 Well, we're not going to NASA, but we're going to go scream at the building. Oh, yeah.
And then

Speaker 2 we're going to talk about your hero, Werner von Braun. Oh, everybody's favorite American.
We're going to have so much fun. Come out to Huntsville.

Speaker 2 We're going to have a fucking blast. Yeah.
And then April 19th, we're going to be in Detroit at the Masonic. So make sure you check us out there.
And then also next week, I am touring Florida.

Speaker 2 That's right. On March 20th, I'm in Jacksonville.
March 21st and 22nd, I'm in Panama City Beach. And on March 23rd, I'm in Tallahassee with Danny Bedrosian.
It's going to be amazing.

Speaker 2 I got our boy Evan Rossi opening up for me. We're going to have a shit ton of fun.
I got, I'm doing an hour of Florida jokes. Yes.

Speaker 2 You developed this whole act. Yes, yes.
So this is a lot of Florida specific material. You're not going to see anything like this.
Come and check it out.

Speaker 2 And then Henry and I are going to be in Florida in May, but we'll talk about that down the road. But right now, March 20th, Jacksonville, 21st and 22nd, Panama City Beach.

Speaker 2 And the 23rd, I'll be in Tallahassee, Florida. Come check all that shit out.
You love it, you animals. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And we will laugh our way, won't we? Yeah. Go and get those tickets.
We'll see you soon, you fuckers. Hail, Satan.

Speaker 2 Hail breastfeeding. Please.
hail it.

Speaker 2 From the boogie down streets of Queens to a pile of beans.

Speaker 2 A new cup of piping hot Polish Italian Java. Last podcast on the left and Springhill Jack Coffey are rising from the rubble with the new brew.

Speaker 2 Butterfly dudes, blue eye blend.

Speaker 2 Nothing to do with any moth-based entity. Don't even think about it.
This is a butterfly dude. Don't mind the blue eyes.
He's just Caucasian.

Speaker 2 Our new proprietary roast might seem eerily similar, but don't let your tongue deceive you. It's a butterfly dude roast.
This is the butterfly dude, blue-eyed blend.

Speaker 2 Entirely delicious, and not just the same beans.

Speaker 2 Butterfly dude, blue-eyed blend. From the cocoon to your room.

Speaker 1 Hi, I'm Jenny Slate. And believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm Gabe Leidman. I'm Max Silvestri, and we've been friends for 20 years.
And we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I Need You Guys.

Speaker 2 Should I give my baby fresh vegetables?

Speaker 1 Can I drink the water at the hospital?

Speaker 2 My landlord plays the trombone, and I can't ask him to stop.

Speaker 1 You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

Speaker 2 I need you, girl.