Side Stories: One Story After Another

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There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.
On the left.

Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories. Yes.

Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Oh, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling.
Break stuff. Break stuff.
Break it. Break the stuff.
Break the stuff. Break the stuff.

Eddie, how is your 31 for 31 treating you? Oh, you know, it's fine.

I think of a lot of these movies I put on there for nostalgia's sake. Same.
And they don't hold up.

But the key here is with Halloween movies is that they don't have to be the scariest movies. They don't have to be the most movie.
I'm okay with it being bad, honestly. It's Halloween.
Yeah.

And it's about celebrating Halloween each each time you watch one that is the one thing about horror movies is i can watch a really bad one and just be like oh okay i feel good about that yeah i don't get offended at the end of it but there are i some of these movies as i'm now 44 as of this weekend first of all give a big old congratulations to ed larson for not eating himself alive To death, he did it.

He did it. He beat food.
I am as old as Himmler was. Wow.
Congrats on Himmler. He was executed.
Congrats. Today's Himmler's birthday.
Oh, today is Himmler's birthday. Happy birthday.

I'm so happy I don't have the same birthday as Himmler. It was close.
Real close. Your mommy was really watching that clock.
Yeah, she was. I don't think I would.

If I would have cooked two more days, who knows how big I'd have been? Oh, wow. Yeah.
Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski.
I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Yes.

So I watched seven movies. He's my almost birthday twin with Heinrich Himmler.
Oh, yes. Almost.
Almost birthday. Almost.
Know who I got. I got another war criminal, Chester A.
Arthur. Oh,

fuck him.

21 president you piece of crap i guess he's fine maybe i don't know i don't know anything about him to be honest with you i just like a president whose first name rhymes with brester yes yeah come on yeah come on where my dudes at yeah baby oh yeah brester a arthur but yeah i watched um i watched the gate because i wanted to like you know rob really likes the gate and i talk on it and i'm like all right maybe i should watch it again yeah you did that it was slightly better than i remember but still was not good it's for children um it's for children

but the demons look cool i would like I would like to have one of those little demons in my house.

I think that would be yes. Tootsie.
Yeah. If I shaved Tootsie, she would look like that.
She's got the horn on her head and everything.

I watched The Strangers, Kaka. The thing about The Strangers.

I watched The Strangers

Strangers. For those of you that don't know, we have put together a very intense rubric for our 31431 provided to me by Jackie Zabrowski.
I think next year we go back to our old ways.

I feel like there's a good mixture. This one I'm.
I'm just putting a whole series in there. Me too.
I actually really do too.

But this was, I feel like this was a good exercise as a way to spread it around, how to pick different styles of horror movies that we genuinely wouldn't see.

Because to me, I have to force myself to watch old horror movies. Because I have to remember.

What do you consider old? 70s and before? No, I actually consider I'm talking like 60s, 50s. Okay.
Like Hammer, that style of movie.

I've watched very little. If it's an afternoon, I'm in.
That's my favorite way.

But if it's at night, I can't do it. That's the problem.

I think, like, literally after 39, the year of age, is that if a black and white movie is on after 8.30 p.m., I'm asleep. Asleep.
Asleep. I can't even, because again, it's not that gripping.
Yeah.

Even like if it's like pie, I'm asleep. I need to see tits.
I need to see blood. I need to see brains.
I need to see, like, in order to keep me engaged, like, past a certain tired point,

I need action, some fun. You know, only one of my movies had tits.
Which Which one? Sleepaway Camp 2.

Lots of tits. And did you watch Sleep Away Camp 2? I did.
I watched Sleep Away Camp 2 last night. I made Julie watch it.
That was one of the movies I loved as a child.

Scared the shit out of me as a child really bad. Hey, it's a slasher film.
It's really bad. It's not even a slasher film.
Yeah. She's like, you don't even really see the killings that often.

It's they like replay everything. It's spoilers, by the way, for this stuff, I guess.
But no players.

That movie's from 1980s. Pamela Springsteen, Bruce Springsteen's sister.
Know what I kept thinking about. What do you mean?

Sleep Away Camp 2 and Sleep Away Camp 3 is starring Pamela Springsteen's Bruce Springsteen's sister. Where?

Who later became a photographer and like shot a bunch of Bruce's album covers, like Human Touch? She took the photograph. No way.
She was in Fast Times at Ridgemont Hot.

Yes, she almost married Sean Penn after making that movie. Oh, then he really must have been.
Sean Pender. Yeah,

but the thing was, I'm watching Sleep Away Camp 2, and the whole time I'm just thinking,

you know, she got Bruce to the premiere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm just picturing

Purdue like squirming at the premiere, watching this. I got to get out of here.
I watch my naked sister. I got to get the fuck out of here.
I don't allow myself to do this. I'm the king of New Jersey.

I shouldn't be here. Yeah, she's Pamela Springsteen.
My opening salvo, my opening movie of 31 for 31 was Halloween 3. I watched that.

Which again, the reason why I watched it is it specifically is not, it does not involve Mike Myers. No, it it doesn't.

And I'm kind of disappointed in us because he's my favorite of the guys. But we have other things in there.
Like,

that's why it all goes around. Like, last year I had a Halloween heavy year.
This one was good to see Halloween 3. It's, again, it's not fantastic, but the stuff within it is great.

And, oh, my God, what's his name? The lead guy from Halloween 3. It's like Atkins or whatever.

Is it Don Atkins? Tim Atkins.

Tom Atkins. Tom Akkins.
Tom Atkins gets so much pussy in every movie he's in. There's some side boot in there.
There's something about Tom Atkins that they put him in films.

There was like men just used to be handsome to women in a different way. Yes.
Tom Atkins, for some reason, every woman in Halloween 3 loved him. Desperately wants to have sex with him.

And it's the, and I feel like that's common for all of his films. And I don't know if it's just like mustaches used to do a lot more work for him.

70s, 80s, you know, you wanted to look like an old man to get laid. There was something about it.
Girls always.

Also, I think if we really want to break down what it is about it, is it's poor casting and that poor girl who had to kiss this old man. No, Eddie.

No, Eddie. It's all reality.
Tom Atkins is absolutely a Lotharia. There's no way he smells like old cigarettes.
Also, that movie

pretty anti-Irish.

It's pretty anti-they're like

the salmon salhen.

Salen is has the traditional roots. Kill the children.
Yes. Well, the traditional roots for what what we know as Halloween does come from Ireland.
And it comes from this whole like Druidic site.

I mean, also, and it's kind of distinctly more American. Like, we've taken Halloween

to a way farther extent than they do in Europe and then they do in other countries. Yeah, because they don't have candy in Ireland.
They don't allow it. Yeah.

No, they don't allow it because they consider it a Catholic. Yeah.

I will say, so I watched Body Bags. Oh, God.
If you're going to watch Body Bags, rent it. Don't watch it on Peacock.
The sound was off. Yeah, Peacock's got bad friends.

Something happened. And I feel like no one, I feel like I'm the only person who has pressed play on body bags.
Maybe.

But the sync is off.

And I know that no one has reported. Truly, dude.

We are spoiled by Criterion app. Yes.
We're spoiled. Oh, I'm so mad that we made this list before we found out what horror movies are going to be on Criteria.

There's so many good horror movies I have to not press play on. Oh, they're too artistic.
They're Criterion.

I know. Those are the really, really good ones, but this is Halloween, which celebrates the other side of it.
You put Blood Diner on the list. Yes, I can't wait.
I have that on DVD, though.

I just watched it. Yeah.
And it's interesting. Is it not good? Well, it's very funny.
It's very, very funny. The best part about Blood Diner is it directed by a woman.
Oh.

And she has, I believe her name is Jen.

What's her name right there? You got her right there.

Rob. Jackie Kong.
Yeah, Jackie Kong. She did this like...

Yeah, she's a, it's an Asian woman that made an extremely offensive, ridiculous film. Okay.
It's a really amazing apparently, yeah, she knew Marlon Brando growing up.

Like she was like all this kind of stuff very interesting, made a bunch of like weird slapstick movies. Queen.
She made Blood Diner. She made what was the other one?

Yeah, Night Patrol was a weird one. And the Being is also is not bad.

The Being is not bad. All right.
Well, I'm very excited because someone ripped me a copy of Blood Diner like.

15 years ago and I've still I've held on to it and never watched it. It's not a good film.

But it's fun. Yes, but that I I haven't seen that yet.
So here's what I have seen. Sinister, I give it a B.
Yeah.

Honestly, I re-watched Sinister with new eyes, and I actually liked it a lot better this time than when I saw it in the theater. I feel like they didn't close it out well.
Well,

all movies have a hard time closing it. And that was also.
The first half scared the shit out of me. Yes.
To be honest with you.

And also, that character, the sinister character guy, does feel like sort of a dry run for what they ended up doing with Bagool. Bagool.

Never go.

I kept doing it to that lady. Like,

here comes Bagool.

Don't bend over. Inspired by the ring, kind of.
Oh, I can see that. I can see that.
Sure, yeah. Cargill talked to me.
Yeah, that was a, was it? He's a guy. He writes.

C. Robert Cargill was a guy that did a lot of comic books and stuff.
It's also a funny movie. He was funny on Twitter back in the day.

But I will say, of the seven movies I watched, the only one I actually really liked was Night of the Living Dead, 1990, Tom Savini's. I love that one.

I actually really, I didn't think I was going to like it. And then it was pretty, it was almost shot for shot remake up top.
And then, and then it like really, I like the way it ends.

I thought it had a great ending. I'm not going to spoil that.
And then, uh, but I will say, uh,

Tony Todd. Fuck yeah.
It was good to see him in the normal role. God, he's good.
He's great. Tony Todd was a very, very good actor as well.
Yeah, I liked him a lot.

And then the chick had a great story arc. A character.
Her character arc was actually very good. I haven't seen it yet.
I can't wait to see it. I was surprised how much I really enjoyed this movie.

It's been a while since I've seen it literally since childhood. So that's why I put that on the list was because I'd never seen this.
And this was Tom Savini's directorial debut.

That guy was hilarious.

The Gandhi-looking zombie zombie who came in. He's like dancing in the doorway.
So funny. I love this shit.

Yeah, he barely needed any makeup. But that's why it's nice.
We're firmly along in our ride. I hope you guys are playing along as well.

It's a fun thing to do throughout the month and just constantly reminding us of the fact that horror movies are perfect.

Like I said, even the ones I said, I did not like six out of seven of these films. And I will say,

I'm glad I watched all of them. But as I get older, as I get older, at 44, I watch The Gate and I'm like, you know what? Last time.
Get it. This is it.
Wow. I'm like, last time.

I'm like, I only got if half of my life is over.

that's the last time i'll be spending two hours on that i'm giving the that's that's all the time i'm giving the gate i understand you're ready for the gate two now no no no no done the gate's done stranger's done sinister done body bags done halloween three maybe slipboy camp two done night living dead might watch again well also the ones

that that's a real review that's what i'm doing i'm mixing between the two where i did video drome as the classic right i bought that i'm waiting for it to show up it's great it's really fun the only problem again with video drome is what James Woods has done to his own self after the fact.

Well, he's horrible. Well, it's another example of a character.
He's horrible in the movie, too, but it's another example of an actor that was in movies at a time.

This is, again, we're seeing the issue. The issue is that even what I was joking about, about Tom Atkins really being sexually a dynamo, I think a lot of these guys.

were in a lot of movies where it was written that all of these women would be wildly in love with them. Yes.
And they do begin to believe that it is true. Yes.
And now that they're 80 and alone.

It stops. And I think that James Woods like forgot at some point that he's James Woods,

the actor, and that in the script, they have to kiss him. Yeah.
You know, but Debbie Harry's great in that too. She's very mysterious.
I'm really, really good at that.

Wait, I haven't seen that in like 10 years. I'm very

forgot that video drama was all done by Rick Baker. Oh, which gives it this other edge.
It's like that the feel of the movie is fantastic. Cool.
I I didn't realize that. I love that.

That makes me very excited for it. And I can't wait.
A lot of our movies aren't available anywhere. And I, of course, I ditched Hulu and Paramount Plus out of protests.

And so I know what I'm going to do. I found that local video store.
I love it. It's called Be Kind, Rewind, or whatever.
And I'm going to go there and I'm going to get all the movies from them.

I absolutely love it. Keep it local.
You keep it local. Because why am I going to give Apple five bucks when I can give this fucking dude with a pile of DVDs five bucks? Absolutely.

Give anything to anything that keeps that man away from becoming a radicalized person at the foot of the fucking Capitol building. Yes, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?

Like anything that keeps him out. So let's get to it.
We did a little 31 for 31 rundown. Do we want to get to some updates? It's updated, man.
All right. Wait here.
You do this Aaron Hernandez update.

There is a fun one I saw in the listener emails. It says, I reprimanded Aaron Hernandez.

So in June of 2013, I was hired at an escape room type business in Foxborough, Foxborough, Massachusetts at Patriots Place, the outdoor mall attached to Gajillette Stadium. Oh, my God.
Yeah,

how lame do you have to be to put a mall?

Does it all have to go? Don't they all have a normal mall? No, no. It doesn't have a normal mall.
It's a normal mall. It's not just a shop.

Why is there an escape room at a football stadium? I think it's because, to be honest, it's something for the wives to do, to be hidden away from their violent husbands.

I mean, Dolphins Stadium has a nightclub, so what am I complaining about? While working,

there were two two places you could be. One, taking a group of people through the attraction, or two, standing at the main desk selling tickets and merch.

About a week or two into my training, I came out of a tour I had just completed, and I could hear the next tour proceeding very loudly. through the show.

I asked my manager what was going on, to which he responded, just some Patriots players that came in to take the tour.

By the way, the system was down when they came in, so you'll need to charge them their tickets before they leave. Okay.

Now, i should mention i'm five foot six blonde girl who at the time was going to college to get her degree in theater studies acting all right so we got a little actor working here you know she's working at trying her best in boston you know good for her yes i truly had no idea who these men were of course not why would you so when they entered their tour walked straight past me out of the door without paying or acknowledging my presence i was a little annoyed about five minutes later one of them came back and asked for the i shit you not container of protein powder they had left on the desk during their show.

Our business was directly across from a GNC store. Why is there a mall right there? You got to get your money.
Why do they have a Mormon?

Why do they have a fucking mall across the street from the fucking giant Mormon temple, the center of fucking SLC? It's because they get to make that money. They love that shit.

So I looked straight at the biggest man I've ever seen and I advised him that yes, he could have his protein powder back, but he needed to pay for it. the tickets first.

He stared at me blankly for a while and said, uh,

okay, let me just go get Mayo's Mayo's credit card. And then left again.
I learned later that he was referring to Gerard Mayo, not the continent. Mayo he was pretty good.
Um, he came back.

I swiped the card, gave him his protein powder, and moved on with my life.

Near the end of the month, I was selling tickets when I got a call from the office on the second floor, but with a large window that looks over the main desk.

I looked up to see my manager who had witnessed my interaction with the Patriots player, and a few other co-workers looked down at me confused. I asked them, what was up?

Manager, do you remember that Patriots player you reprimanded for not paying? Me? Yes. Well,

he was just arrested on suspected murder charges. As I'm told, as I'm told, my face went white.
I slowly put the phone down and went about my day. I told my parents the story for a while.

My father joked that Hernandez was going to get out of prison and I would be his next victim.

Jesus fucking Christ. We all know that's not a possibility anymore.
Now I'm 31 and getting married in a few weeks.

I recently retold the story to a group of my friends and found out that one of my bridesmaids is the daughter of the detective detective who arrested Aaron Hernandez. Massachusetts is so dang small.

Honestly, this is all, they just love the idea of we get so many emails of people rubbing up against murderers and dealing with murderers.

So many people entered Aaron Hernandez's life because he was a famous person. Yes.
So he was around lots of people all the time. And it sounds like across the board, he was a piece of shit.
Yes.

I have not heard one nice story. No.
I've heard stories, people talking about playing against him in high school now. I've heard stories of people, we've got so many messages of people, any person.

No one's come to his defense. Not a single person said I had a good interaction with Aaron Hernandez.
Did you hear that, Shayana?

Well, you know, honestly, then I got a message. I got a message about her.
Oh, yeah. I got a message about his wife and his baby mama.
Oh, wow.

We don't need to get into that. But I'm just saying,

I got messages about the whole. They're not.

The funnest group.

Maybe it's because they're dealing with their struggles. Oh, my God.
I had this.

This reminds me of a story. When I worked at the Village Poorhouse, we'd always have football players come in all the time.
It was a sports bar in the East Village.

The Giants used to come through all the time.

It was one of those places.

And I was manager. And whenever you get like a football player in, you know, you want to give them one of the good waitresses.
You want to make sure they're taken care of. You know, there's celebrity.

And that's also what you can hear right there. Isa, every restaurant knows they have good staff and bad staff.
Absolutely. You know what I mean?

And then you've got the bad staff that you can't figure out how to get rid of. Yeah.
And you got in there and their liabilities, and they got to be there.

You're hoping for them to not show up one day so you can let them go without paying them. Yes, but anyway, so

I remember Ray Lewis and Ray Rice were coming in for dinner.

Now, if you remember, Ray Rice is the guy who famously hit his girlfriend in the elevator in Atlantic City, and everyone watched that footage.

And then Ray Lewis was always accused of murdering that man on New Year's Eve when he was wearing a white suit. Then the white suit went missing.
You know, it's like a whole thing.

Yeah, and when you order chicken wings, or they order lots of food.

But anyway, so they're coming in, and I'm, you know, I'm telling, I give my best waitress, you know, the table because I know it's going to be a good tip and I want to make sure they're taken care of.

And uh, I remember her going, she was the cutest, nicest. Uh, I remember her name was Karis, and she was just like really polite and calm and just like good at her job.

I think she's like a scientist now, you know. And so, she

remembered, she's like, I was like, so you got a very special table, some football players tonight. She's like, oh, I hope they're not scary.
And I was like, actually,

they're the scariest of all. The two scariest football players I can think of.

Don't worry. You'll be fine.

You're in a public place.

Just be real nice. And what were they like? Were they fine? They were great.
They tipped well.

They tipped good.

They took care of her and we fed them and all that shit. You know what? Yeah, it's funny.
It's just a fun story. Anyway, regardless, let's continue the show.
Ashley, but that was very frightening.

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A thing that is also happening

that's also out in the news is that the Munich airport got shut down by drones this week. Another airport.

Last two days in a row.

On the evening of October 3rd, German air traffic control restricted flight operations at Munich airport as a precautionary measure due to unconfirmed drone sightings and suspended them until further notice.

They had this has happened now twice. It happened on Thursday and Friday.
Yeah. And so they,

Denmark and Norway has also seen this happen. What we covered last week in Denmark at the Copenhagen airport, and this is happening again.
We pro again,

everybody's screaming, it's Russia, it's Russia, it's Russia. It makes sense that it's Russia.
Unfortunately, they are saying we do track Russian drones, and we don't think that these are them.

So that's, or there's something, other, some version of Russian drones, but, or something like these drones. I think you need to look at them though, because it's actually quite frightening.

It's a line of drones that sweeping around the airport. And again, they're not, there's no reports saying what the hell they are.

The German authorities, just like the Copenhagen authorities, came out and said, you know, they're just saying we have no fucking clue.

They don't know how to do a gigantic cross propaganda machine front like we do. All right.
Like, they're not as good at it as we are.

And we, they, they just, they say they don't know how to lie at the local level. They're legitimately, like, we're scared and we don't know what it is.
No one's telling us what it is.

And it's very largely, it does seem to be, I'm not even saying this is UFOs. Yeah.
Well, it seems there's also lots of Russian drones that entered NATO airspace over Poland and Romania.

So they know it. I think it's that.
Yeah, but that they knew. They don't know what these are.
Yes, they know what those things are. And they don't know what these things are.

But these definitely look like fucking, they look like human drones. They do look like human drones.
They just look like they're way bigger and no one's claiming them also at this point

conspiracy time i think if i was an alien and they saw that we had all these drones why not try to make shit that looks like our shit we've been talking about this the idea that they are legitimately just copying us i don't know i i also just think now we're in full

bad actor zone like now we're just in full on the mystery zone in between where nobody knows what the information is and we're we're specifically being gamed against ourselves.

Like we're supposed to be getting used to these mystery drones. I don't know why.
I don't know what these drones are accessing. Yeah.

It's over there now.

We had ours.

We seem to not have ours anymore.

Don't know what's happening. I mean, they still show up.
There's drones everywhere. You can't, now that everyone can have a drone, I saw one in my backyard the other night.

But we're talking about the key difference. This is much like

the way everybody does the Trump just jokes. It's just jokes.
Blah, blah, blah. Where you tried to minimize it.
It's like this whole like weird minimizing game going on where it's like, yeah,

I get it. Like I do understand that it's like, it's stopped.
And they are drones. They're machines.
But

that's two separate, that's a two different sports. Yeah.
But the drone you can get is not this shit.

This shit's like definitely the highest of ends, military grade, proprietary-level like drone, like giant drones. Yeah, so this isn't just normal ass people, yeah.

Remember the fucking, I also got that crazy footage that we can't show because it's uh, but I got it from uh Danny, Danny Filuppo. I literally, like, we got one of those.
I love our life sometimes.

We got one of those where

the shit that Eddie and I saw, like, and you can't see, honestly, is fucking wild. And we saw some really wild shit.
He wouldn't let me see who it was from. Yes.

And then, like, because he got it from his friend. He wouldn't let me see who that person was.
And then he showed me the video. And then he let me show that video to Henry.
It was very wild.

And it was like, you, we don't. It was off a fighter jet.
It was just like, it was just like a dot going up and down in and out of the water. We don't know what this stuff is.
We don't know.

And then you have, what's his name? Was it Tim Mueller? Tim, what was the other guy? Tim Burnett? Was that the senator?

The one that's just straight up came out and said, oh, we're not only talking to UFOs, but like they live off of California and I go visit them.

And like he was like talking about all this shit about how

they absolutely know. They're not even living off of San Diego all the time.
Yes. But like there's like, I think it was Tim Burchett who came out and said straight up

there are aliens in the water.

I mean, it makes place, it makes sense that the only place it would be. But this is also, these are Republican, obviously, and Timber Chet also, again, the only thing, the only weirdly,

which is fucking ridiculous. Is he horrible? No, who knows? I mean, yes, but there are, he's the only person taking UFO seriously.

And he's talking about it as if it is well-known information, and it's just over with.

You know what's weird about the thing with San Diego, though, is, you know, you would expect if you see UFOs going in and out of the water, you would expect it to be incredibly deep.

But the water is notoriously shallow outside of the coast of San Diego. So it makes me think that that's not right.
And they ultimately straight up said

the main reason why no one's moving on anything is because what the generals keep telling people like Tim Burchett is that they could have blown us up 20 times over. That's how I feel about it.

Anytime they wanted, and they haven't yet. So obviously they're either...

Waiting,

they're just hanging out, couldn't give a fuck about us. It's very possible that they just, they're writing us off.
What if they're trying to find a way to leave themselves? Yeah.

You know what I mean? What if it's like even that? They just don't have enough space gas. They're just like literally like, guys, shut the fuck up.
I don't even want to hear you or anything. Yeah.

Like, I just like, we're trying to leave. We want to go.
They tell me, oh, yeah, this is what Timber Chet said. They tell me something's moving at hundreds of miles an hour underwater.

As large as a football field underwater. This Tennessee congressman told Republican Congressman Matt Gates, great.
Oh, good. I'm glad he's on the case.
No, don't worry. This is the problem.

This is the problem. It's all the guys I got to talk to.
It's not fucking like that.

Yeah. Because everybody's a fucking child molester.
A fucking crazy person. The Democrats got nobody to talk to.
We just got Chuck Schumer counting his corns. And then we got their dog doing nothing.

They all just love the fact that the government's off of work. They're all just sitting at home doing jack dick, loving life, making fucking stock trades.
And we're all just sitting here.

They kick the football so they have to vote on the the epstein thing and you got this fucking idiot getting trotted out in front of all the cameras being oh there is a football field size ufo in the ladder and it's like brain's not even moving the fucking needle dude yeah it's no one gives a fuck yeah some of those drones at the beginning of the year were shooting other drones down yep like we just like stop talking about it well because again what what that shows me somebody got the answer and no one wants no we're not allowed to know what the answer is yeah because that's what they do each other.

Like, what the fuck? They do it specifically, like the thing over Yemen. They do it specifically so that they,

this is the, their version of a cover-up is to just shut up about it. Yeah.
Because they're like, again, it's not going anywhere. No one's doing anything.
The government's not working right now.

We can all know what gives a fuck. You know, that's what they found out in the Amelia Earhart files.
Drones. Yeah, it was drones.
Honestly, I was.

Like, obviously, as you guys have heard heard me talk about in the show, I was really kind of like so puzzled that even like, cause the Trump administration, one thing is that they're so transparent and they're so, they do what they say they're going to do.

Yeah. And they, you know, and when he said that stuff about the Epstein files, I was like, first of all, I was so confused by Trump not releasing all that information.

I was confused and hurt in a way. But then all that went away when I saw the Amelia Earhart.
Yeah, you're like, oh, he does believe in truth.

He cares in there because everybody knows that pussies float. Yeah.
And that's what the main thing I learned from the Amelia Earhart thing is that pussies float.

And it's crazy. The only thing they found was her bush.

They found her bush. This is true.
I don't know if you guys read that file. They found her bush.

A bunch of Japanese people were using it on an island as a way, as a fire starter. They were using the top of her bush as a fire starter because she,

weirdly enough, she grew steel wool.

Well, she was so in tune with the sky. She was part airplane.
Yeah. Have you ever seen that movie Titane? Titane? No, Titan? No.

It's called T-I-T-A-N-E with like a French girl becoming like a horny car. No.
That's Amelia Earhart. She wants a fucking car, yeah.

She became an airplane. She just slowly became an airplane.
To be honest, what I found out was to be on some of the most damning thing were all the allegations from other planes

on Amelia Earhart that actually really showed me. They named names.

Orville Wright was there watching Amelia Earhart making a twin Cessna eater out at gunpoint. Yeah.

And to be honest. They actually called him Horrible Wright.
They did at the time. So honestly, I'm really glad that no one,

the truth that came out of that document was so blistering that, of course, no one's talking about it. Because again, no one, she would have never been president.

It's certainly not helping the fact that, you know, people say women can't drive. They shouldn't fly.

That's what this showed me. Because that's where she said apparently the one.
I love women. I'm sorry.
One of the big things he doesn't.

He really doesn't.

One of the worst things apparently was when she was flying was that she was so distracted by the amount of menstrual blood pouring out of her that she couldn't look at the dials anymore.

That's why she's been caught by sharks.

She would have been fine when she fell.

When she said, when Amelia got into the plane, they called it the Vag Pit.

And it just filled with blood and it covered all the dials. So that was actually really difficult.
So again, can't trust women.

And Amelia Earhart should never have flown. And that's what I learned.
And honestly, and I feel so much better. I'm released from all the bad news.

Also in Munich,

there was a bomb threat called the Noktoberfest. So they're like, oh, it kind of lines up with the other one.
It does. It's very strange.
I just wanted to bring the story back around. Yes, thank you.

We have another horrific story here. We do need to get into this story because

the debate at the center of the story is really really important yes yeah this one's this one's wild go for it so follow us on this because

again i go either way this is a thought experiment for all of us and we're all going to talk about this in a

even-keeled yeah sensible

that's what we're searching for we do take shit a lot for sticking up for the bad guy occasionally we do yes and this is a case where we're all confused yeah so this mineola Texas. Great place.

Texas man is accused of holding another man at gunpoint for hitting his dog with a car, which killed the animal. Okay.
Alberto Joshua Hernandez, 22. Emotional.
Yes, young.

He is accused of forcing a man to dig a grave for the dog and withdraw money from an ATM to compensate Hernandez for his loss. All of this was done at gunpoint.
Yes.

So this is what happens. This man, the victim, they're calling him the victim, which is true.

Who?

The man that hit the dog okay yes so september 8th lots of people hit dogs with cars yes so a dog ran out into the street from a residential home yeah man hit it with his car he pulled over and another man came driving up out of the property in a ford pickup stopped behind him yeah hernandez the young man with the gun he got out of the pickup and he pointed the gun at the victim saying i'm gonna shoot you in the fucking head the victim said he pleaded for his life right?

He put the gun to his head saying, You killed my fucking dog. It's an AR-15.
Well, no, no, no, no. This is, I think, this is a first.
There's two guns. There's two guns.
There's two guns.

Yeah, there's two guns. So he goes to the game.
The first gun, I feel like, is a handgun, probably. Yeah, so he made him pledge.

You made him plead for his life. You killed my fucking dog.
You killed my fucking. You guys, I got so far.
It was a mistake. It was a mistake.
I mean, honestly. That's the scene.

Yes, that's the scene. Yes.

That has been saying Hernandez, you know, he forced the man at gunpoint to pick up the dog's body from the ditch, carry it to his yard.

The affidavit, then he said he took the keys in his phone, being like, you fuck, you fuck are doing this funeral right the fuck now. You're doing this right the fuck now.

They went and he took him to an ATM. They got a shovel.
Well, no, yeah. He got the shovel.
He got the shovel.

He dug the hole for the dog. They buried the dog.
Then they went to the ATM. Yes.

Then while he's burying the dog in his yard, he goes into his house, switches out the guns, gets the AR-15, comes back outside, and he's like, all right, now we're going to the ATM. Yep.

And then they sat, they got the money, got him $200.

That's how much it costs

to deal with a dead dog. This whole thing, absolutely.
He said Hernandez took his driver's license, took a picture of it, told him, I now know where you live.

And if this is not enough, I'm going to come back and get more. And then, which was kind of crazy, when he came back to drop the guy back off,

he left. He dropped him at home.
The guy drove away. Obviously called the police.
But when he showed up, Hernandez's mother was also waiting.

So she was a part of this scenario as well. Now,

obviously,

the villain here is

here. It's like this again.
If you've seen one battle after another, which is my favorite movie of the year. It's really good.
Sean Penn's character is a

horrendous villain that has at a sort of at his heart, this very relatable, there's a relatable yearning inside of Sean Penn. There's like a relatable desperation.
He wants to love, he wants to love.

He like physically can't love. It's like a whole thing, right?

This villain is in that realm of being a quarantino style, like there but for the grace of God go I. That man walks.
I get it. If you kill, if someone hits me.
He killed the wrong man's drug.

If you hit Carmen with the car,

I'd have two reactions. One, obviously, is the screaming no, right? Is the screaming no, right?

Then

would I say I'm above

wanting

to

get that person who killed my dog, put him in the trunk of a car, take him out in the middle of nowhere. I understand the urge.
Drop him off. I get it.
And not kill him. I'm not saying kill.

Like, I'm not saying you should kill. Yeah.
I'm saying that I get the idea of dog walking a man that killed killed my pet, my beloved animal.

And I could see the satisfaction that one would gain putting like a gun in his mouth, dragging him down the street by his ear with the gun in his mouth, telling him, now you're going to be my dog.

We all are. I'm going to make you my dog now.
I could see that process. I'm not a dog.
I'm a man. Not anymore to me.
Didday, you're a dog.

Did he, you're a dog, you're eating dog food because that's what we got for dogs, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I will do, right? But I also,

then I have a saint in me. I know it's illegal.
I know it's illegal.

I know I'm the villain. Yeah.
I know I'm the villain. He's the villain.
But you're not, but you're the villain because you love too much. The love is so big Alberto Hernando's had inside of him.

His love was so large, he had to kidnap another man to prove his love. I have to say, at 22, you make bad decisions.
22 is you're a monster. Me at 22, I had just gotten my gun.

You know, like, I didn't have a dog, but if someone killed my roommate's dog, I don't know how I would have reacted. Yes.
You know, so I'm not saying it's good

that I don't know how I would have reacted. I think that if it happened now as an adult, I'd just be, you know, probably just slap the guy a bunch.
Yeah.

I mean, it's just really hard because we know it's an accident, but there are accidents that kill our beloveds and make the other people upset. Make you crazy.
And I'm not.

As gracious as an Erica Kirk. Yes.
You know, like I, you know, like, I'm not ready to sell merch about a dead Carmy. I'm not ready to sell.

I'm not ready to take over Carmy's podcast a week after she's going to be. I'm not ready to take on that ad deal.
I'm not ready to take on all that money that Carmy's going to leave them.

Yeah, and Carmy was in that beauty contest that she won for no fucking reason. It's because I knew the guy that was controlling it.
And then

I also met the man that impregnated Carmy. I chose him as well.
That's cool. Yeah, a young Republican dog.

Yeah, fucker.

But yeah, he's so, yes, he's a villain. And we're saying, Last Podcast on the Left is not pro Alberto Hernandez.
No, but we, I do sympathize and understand where he's coming from.

Sidestories L-P-O-T-L-A-Gmail.com. I know that.
Again, stop. If you're writing the email right now that says, look, ooh, it was a crime.

It is a crime. We know.
I know it's a crime. Go to jail.

I'm just saying we should contribute to this man's canteen while he's in jail so he has a nicer jail experience because he's dealing with the loss of a dog. Human's got problems.

Different people agree in different ways. Dude, that dog, dog's an accusation.
He was a good dog. Yeah, of course.
If he was a bad dog or a foster, like, I'm thinking of my three dogs right now.

And, like, I think if someone hit Tootsie, I'd be like, well, it's her time. Tootsie's got to go.
She's slow through the road.

And I don't even mean that.

I want Tootsie to go for her own sake. Honestly, if she went fast, it'd probably be great.
Much better. Yeah.

If someone hits. Because she's going

slow. Yes.
No, no, she's still alive. 18 next month.
If someone hit my new dog, um, my wonderful my foster, not Harley,

Jizzy. If someone hit Jizzy, the foster dog, they're trying to get rid of her.
Yeah, I think we're getting rid of her this weekend. Thank you for everyone who reached out about getting.

I didn't know that the Maison Shore charged $500 for the dog.

So I'm sorry that I said she was free. She's not free.
It's $500 adoption fee to keep the adoption process going. I understand now.
I didn't when I made the video. Sorry.

Because I got Harley for free. I didn't realize because I fostered her first and then they let me keep her for free.
So I thought all the dogs were free. I did not know.

But that being said, if someone hit Jizzy, ah, you know, it's foster, not my dog. No must, no fuss.
Fucked up. We need to deal with an adoption.

But the,

if someone hit Harley,

I think I might lose my mind. Yeah.
I think I might, because she's bigger. You would probably take her a while to go.

Like, I think that I would like lose my mind and like fall into like some kind of weird psychosis. Oh, yeah.
And I would be like, I'd do that thing where I'm just like, call the cops.

Call the fucking cops. Call the cops.
It's not because I want to report the person who killed my dog. It's like I want to come

around so I don't do something bad. Yeah.
I mean, honestly, but I feel that that is what makes you a responsible member of society. Call the police.

Fucking cops.

Call the cops.

Cops on me. That's what would happen.
But yeah, I also get... I understand, Hernandez.
Yes. Because, you know, it's weird.

Because in my mind, it's like, even with human kids, I don't, I'm going to get some, obviously, into trouble for Jeevi just saying this.

this but even human kids it feels like you could make another one really easily it depends on how old you are but i mean it hernana's 22 though he's he's got plenty of kids to pop out i'm just saying in terms of like dogs it's so hard to find that unique dog again how long do you get for this see here's the thing if he just kidnapping a man he's gonna probably get 10 15 years i think the the atm is where he up yeah buddy i think i think it was the gun point in kidnapping the man and taking several locations i think the gun pointing at the man making him bury the dog dog ends there.

I feel like you might just serve a month. You might be fresh.
I feel like, yeah, I feel like there might be something that's not. The guy might get it.
The guy might even be like, fuck me, man.

I'm sad. But it's the taking to the ATM.
Hernandez was arrested by police in Mineola on Thursday and charged with aggravated robbery, aggravated kidnapping, and drug charges.

Well, yeah, he had drugs on him. Absolutely.
I feel like this might even slap his five.

He's just been done at Abal. Saw his dog get killed.
That's a bad combination. He's in my dog named.
Yeah, he's in my fucking dog. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's what happened there. Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah, wow. Yep.
Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? You had two guns.
Yeah, you shouldn't have so many guns. Texas, easy to get guns.
You know, it's a sticky situation. I feel bad for Hernandez.

I think they're actually, unfortunately, like in Texas, I do believe that the gun has to go into therapy after shooting. Yes.
It's not the person. The gun has to go because it's not meant to kill.

Yeah, you have to bury the gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's called being bullet kosher. Yeah, so I'm sorry this happened to you, sir.
I'm sorry that you hit a dog with your car. It was very emotional.
Sorry for the man too, because that's sad.

It's sad to kill a dog. Sad to kill, you know, that fucks with you on its own.
I guess getting the gun pointing in your face does kind of cut that, you know, depression. And that way I'd be thankful.

Yeah. Because I'd rather be scared than sad.
In a weird way, he owes Hernandez. But that's, again, that's what the payment was for.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're giving him a new lease on life. Leash, please.

If he had a leash, this would have never happened. No, exactly.
Maybe there's like, we could maybe also talk about that, about how offense could be in order.

There's a lot of stuff here. There's a lot of, there's a lot of hang, a lot of hanging chads here.

A lot of hanging chads.

We'll just talk about a little bit here. This one guy, you see, this teenager who killed his parents, but then he killed his.

He didn't kill his parents. He killed his mother and her friend and he stabbed them.
This took place in Cambria County.

Yeah, in Pennsylvania. So this kid, a 14-year-old, stabbed his mom and her friend to death and then texted his girlfriend.

I just killed my parents. And then followed with JK.
But as a matter of fact, he was not JK. He killed parent.
So I could see where his

joke was. It wasn't.

He says, but he did that as in like psych, as in like, that's a funny joke. Yes.
But it's not if the text was funny. Yes.
Now, obviously, you know, this just happened.

You know, he still has to go to, you know, he has to go through court and all that. It seems like there probably isn't, but he did.

uh it does seem like he is the one who killed them he was wandering around the neighborhood um screaming um i did it yes he did it but you know what we're not jking about our brand new dates on jk ultra so you can go and check those out on last podcast on the left we got a bunch of brand new dates and we don't care what we say in a text it's not funny to sell tickets that's right 2026 we're coming in um so basically today patreon members they could buy tickets.

Friday, on sale to the general public. So get in there, Patreon members.
Get in there and get your tickets before everyone gets in there and buys up all the good ones. So here's what we're doing.

We're doing January 31st, we're going to Philly. February 28th.

I want to put this out. That Philly show is the biggest show of our entire tour.
And we are going to be doing something special at that Philly show. I want to fucking blow that shit out.

Yes, we're doing it. We all love Philly.
We had such a good time when we did our side story show. So much.
And then the last time,

last podcast in Eleft Fonta Philly, wasn't there like a blackout or something? And then you guys were fucked.

So then we had to do a re-up on that show. Philly

is owed a real show. And we're going to come and deliver a big ass show.
Please don't fight us.

And then February.

They fight amongst themselves. Yes.
Well, you know, then the outsiders. you know, that come through.
Yes. They fight them.
Very well. Fight them.
February 28th, we're going to be in Austin.

Very pumped for that. I can't wait.
I've never performed in that city before.

March 13th, Indianapolis.

april 25th cincinnat scared to have my family see our show yay come on let them drive very nervous about it they might have to sit at home um may 29th pittsburgh gonna be a lot of fun um june 27th grand rapids michigan let's do it grand rapids is a really cool little town i've never been to grand rapids grand rapids literally some of the best beer i've had in the entire fucking country i believe that it's grand rapids also we went to a very funny club where in grand rapids yeah it's a funny club.

Is it just like a club? Is it like you went to a club and you just beat each other with sticks? No, that kind of club. Sexy time, man.
Sexy? Oh, yeah. Everyone's real wrapped up.
Grand Rapids.

We're all wrapped up. Grand Rapids.
Real cold. Real cold.

I remember we had to wait online outside of an establishment in the snow. It's like 1:45 in the morning.
We waited out there and we walked into a sports bar. And man, it was lit up, dude.

Grand Rapids gets fucked up. All right, Grand Rapids.
We're coming for you. And June 27th.
And then in July 17th, we're in Tulsa. And July 18th, Oklahoma City.
Gonna be a fun.

We're doing double time in Oakland. We're in Oklahoma.
We're covering it all. Honestly, it's great.

But just so you know, we're not killing any parents on this tour unless, of course, it is Ed's wife's parents. If they come and they get so offended by the material that they die.

They will get offended by the.

Yeah. They can't come.
Do they not understand that these thoughts support her daughter? Oh. Love her daughter.
That is the thing.

I think that it might be split. I think if they come and see the crowd and be like, holy shit, Ed's like really successful now.
They might like it.

You might like it. But then they see what I'm talking about when I scream, Hail Satan, and then 2,000 people yell hail Satan back.
I'm worried how they might handle.

I wish that they could understand that that means Satan's winning and Christ is losing. You know what? I'm at Bridgetown Meets.
I want to talk to you.

You have to tell Julie's mom, Janet Rosing, when she's there every day, pretty much buying meat from these people, from these men. I think you need to tell her, it's okay what I say on stage.

All right, Bridgetown Meets. I support your ham salad.
I support everything you do over there.

Delicious Mets. I love the geta.
You guys are amazing. Go to Bridgetown Meets.
Tell Julie's mom, whatever I say on stage, it's okay. Yeah, again, it's a character.
It's a character.

That's what you say. Say to them.
If you say it's a character, I don't mean it.

The strong strapping men at Bridgetown Meets, let Janet Rosing know that Ed Larson can say whatever he wants wants on stage. Honestly, it also would help too if you say stuff like, Mr.

Rosing, God, you look fucking good today. Yeah, you look great.
God damn, Mr. Rosing.

Where's Mr. Rosing? Here, here's some free ham salad just for you.

I want to see you eat it, though. I found it.

There's a ham salad. Look, they have to stock up more now because of me.
Yep. Only because of him.
I'm selling this ham salad. Go check it out.
Bridgetown Finer Meats, Cincinnati, Ohio.

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This other story is really fucking stupid about the hunter who shot the kid thinking that he was a squirrel.

But the problem is with the kid thinking he's a squirrel. He's way bigger than a squirrel.
Yeah. He's not even that hairy.
No, and it sounds like an excuse.

It sounds like you just want to shoot that kid in the head. Yeah.
Well, if the kid's dead. Exactly.
Yes. So

be careful. Also, an Australian dock worker was fired for putting his penis in his co-worker's subway sandwich, but now he's allowed to work there again.
What? Yeah. How did you get to go back?

They were like, eh, it's fine.

I mean, Australians famously have a wonderful sense of humor. Yeah.
So I wonder if it's partially that. But how do they tell that it was his penis was in the sandwich?

It said his employer accused Smith of showing his male coworkers bikini-clad photos of female colleagues, also telling one that he had spat

what was this? He was in trouble for showing his male co-workers bikini-clad photos of female colleagues, but also

wait a second. Were they just on social media? Yeah, I think he was just like looking up Instagram pictures of being a creep.
He's being a creep. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.
But then he put his cock in someone's subway sandwich and

he called the colleague a useless piece of shit and a condescending cunt.

My question is, is that they then go...

They then were like, ah, you're all right. Yeah, they fired him.
Ah, y'all funny. I was funny as hell when you think about it.
Yeah, I think a week went by and they're like, ah, we miss him.

And so they said the termination was harsh on just and unreasonable. But didn't he put his penis in a sandwich? He did put his penis in a sandwich.
But what's the proof of that? Was there video?

He said it.

What do you mean he said? He said it. He told people, I put my cock in the sandwich.
Australians. Yeah, yeah.
Never fucking say I'll fucking, there's no way to prove it. Yeah.

Yeah. So

there's no way to prove it, guys, unless you got mustard on your balls. Yeah, but the thing is, I think the reason they hired him back is because it was just a Subway sandwich.

And it's just, it could only have made it better than worse. You know, I think that he was like, he's the office personality hire.
Yes.

It's actually interesting because he didn't get caught doing it. No, no.
Someone just said it's hearsay. Like someone's like, oh, he said that he did.
He did hearsay. Well, it smells dick.

Yep, it smells like tuna fish. Oh, someone's got provolone dick.
So it's like, it's like getting fired because someone said that you did something, but there's no proof of it.

Yes, but you said you did it. Right.
But he's like, he could be like, I was talking shit. You know, it was, it's not true.
Yeah, I know. But I will say

it's probably easy to be a dock worker there. I mean, I guess it's real easy going, but it's like, but

the Australians are famous for being fun,

fun-loving, party people.

But the thing is, the Australians is, I guess it really is. The other guys must have finally just been like,

who hasn't? Yeah. You know what I mean? The rest of them must have just been so like.
What are they called Burger King over there? It's Hungry Jacks. Hungry Jacks.
Hungry Jacks. Because one man.

Yeah, I do. One man stood in the way of Burger King's rights to the ombre.

He said it was amazing. It was really, really great.
Yeah. so uh yeah so um

if you are going to work at the docks know that you can get some cocks oh god it's just i do feel like they really should they should kept him fired they i really feel like it's a bad precedent to set yes but i also understand if it's hearsay because if dock workers aren't looking at the evidence who is yeah and you know because you know they had a tribunal they had to set it up with the judge then they had to they had to make him a fake wig out of spaghetti and then they had a fake lawyer they had a whole like it was on the dock like they did like an unofficial trial like they do in a sitcom.

Oh, my God. He apologized.
The way he apologized for showing the pictures of the female co-workers was he said that he shouldn't be using his phone while at work. Ah!

Ah!

What an asshole.

What an asshole.

Of course.

One of them. Not even pieces sherry.

No, no. No lessons learned.
Not a single one.

Oh, wow. Hey, so enjoy your Subway Sandwiches, Australia.
Yeah. Because they are jack

full of cock. All right.

We promised some spooky stories. Yeah.
And I think it's time because I actually have a doctor's appointment and I have to go do. All right.
So we have to begin this.

It is time. It is time.
All right. So you're going to go first? For some listener pastas.
Ooh. Scary stories from the audience.
You got one. I got one.
Yes. I'm going to read this one.

Again, we're just going to do smatterings. We're just trying to add more ghost activity to the show.
And so this is our way of getting us all used to the spooky waters of Halloween time.

So ladies and gentlemen,

scared you didn't. Smoke a joint.

Pretend to be a skeleton for a little while. And get ready to be spooked by some scary listener stories.

It's a monkey noise.

It's not a ghost noise. It's a monkey noise.
Yeah, well, a monkey could be scary if it's ripping your fucking lips off. If it's a ghost.

I was at a friend's co-worker's apartment in West Hollywood. And there were three of us having a girl's night after work.

We were drinking some wine, gossiping about work and listening to music when one of the girls casually said she knew how to twerk while doing a handstand.

Obviously, we said prove it. And she proceeded to do a handstand with her feet leveraged against the front door and performed her expert level twerking.

We all started hooting and hollering. As you do.
And abruptly stopped when we heard someone pounding on the front door.

It sounded like a large person banging with a closed fist.

My friend opened the door. With her ashticks? No one was there.
Oh.

She, yes.

She, with her butthole, she grabbed the doorknob. A true performer.

Ready for Los Angeles.

It sounded like a large person banging the door. No, she closed the door.
She opened the door. No one was there.
She closes the door. Turns to us, shrugs.

Then it happens again.

She was still next to the door, so she quickly flung it open. Again,

no one there.

The apartment was a flat in one of those really old buildings. It had two units downstairs and two upstairs.

There was a single staircase going up and a small landing with an apartment to the left-right, about 20 feet away from each other. So not very accessible and not very many possible culprits.

While we were trying to figure out who could be doing it and how they could get to the door and disappear so fast, we started again hearing what sounded like coins dropping around the apartment and the banging happened again.

Again, no one there. She texts all three of her neighbors asking if anyone had knocked and they were being too loud.
No one was home directly downstairs.

The old lady across the hall was in bed and the other downstairs neighbor also had a couple of people over and hadn't heard us.

Meanwhile, I start to see small white shapes flying past the window almost like birds but it was dark out we look at the window to the front lawn nobody's there the knocking happens yet again and the twerking girl says she has to leave i was supposed to stay the night

yeah she gotta go i gotta go twerk for abraham lincoln

I was supposed to stay the night with the other girl that was with us, but I decide, no, you know what? No, thank you. I'm going to get an Uber home too.

I get home, call my boyfriend, now my husband, to tell him what happened happened when we were interrupted by a FaceTime call from the other two girls.

They were both crying and outside walking to the last remaining girl's car and were heading to her place in Long Beach because the pounding wouldn't stop and

it happened while they were in the front of the door again and they immediately opened and absolutely no one was there.

The girl that lived in the apartment stayed at our friends in Long Beach for three days until her roommate came back from vacation so she didn't have to be alone in there.

And she found pennies and dimes scattered around the floor and when she opened the front window she

exactly right she noticed there was a paper shoved between the iron juliet balcony and the window door it was renovated from the original and there was about an inch from the balcony to the doors upon closer inspection she discovered that it was a bunch of her mail Which is what I had seen flying around that window and you can only get to the mail by entering the building with a key and then opening the mailbox with a key.

Okay. I've always been sensitive to heavy energies, allegedly haunted spaces.
And this is not the first or last time I had a weird experience, but it was by far the scariest.

I refused to ever go back to her place. Maybe coincidentally, maybe not.
All three of those girls turned out to be very, very not cool. Maybe something was trying to tell me.

Oh, or maybe...

The ghost likes strippers. Literally, that is my first like.

hollowing and he's like and he's throwing money at her but i do think that there's something to the idea that the other chicks were not really cool and that there was something in their track because i find that very interesting the idea of a disembodied noise you can't control things uh the because that's what's called uh uh apportations yeah apparitions i believe apparitions are what you see

apparitions yeah Yeah, which there wasn't because the white things were male. So that wasn't that wasn't an apparition.
An apparition is seeing a ghost. You shot! You shut your fucking mouth.

You don't have to Google it. You mean like a EVP or a phantom sound? Phantom.

The EVP is a type of thing that's called, it's when things fall from the ceiling. It's called like apportations or something, I guess.
They say, we'll get it. We know what it is.

Teleportation? You don't know nothing.

You don't know anything. I know that apparitions are the sighting of a ghost.
Yes. Well, either way.
Yes, it's apportations. Apportations.
Yes. A-P-P-O-R-T.
That was.

A poor use of words. No, it was actually very good.

It's actually quite good. All right, you go.
By the way, my monkey noises were appropriate because Jane Goodall is now a ghost.

Did you hear about what happened with her? What? Jane Goodall. So Jane Goodall passed away this week, the wonderful Jane Goodall, one of my heroes, to be honest with you.

She died suddenly in her sleep, which God bless her. She deserved it.
Thank Christ. Yeah, I'm glad she didn't die like an audience.

But she was supposed to be giving a speech in Pasadena to a bunch of children, and no one, and like, and then she just didn't show up.

And so, the auditorium's full of children waiting for Jane Glittle to come talk to us. At least she didn't die in front of them.
But someone had to come out and be like, She's dead, she's dead.

And then all the children started crying and championing.

Why would you fucking do that? I guess I don't want to lie to the fucking kids or whatever, but still,

the fucking afternoon, we could just be like, Jane's late. Jane's going to come back, you You know, like, well,

let's just put a bookmark into this. They didn't tell everybody when Stupid W was reading the little book that 9-11 was happening.

Yeah, they just came and told all the children that the person they were here to, like, talk about monkeys with them is. She's fucking dead.

She died just like you're going to die.

All right. You're going to grow old and you're going to die no matter what you've done to love chimps.
You can love a chimp as much as you want. This one's called

My Haunted Dorm Room from Courtney, which I think is Courtney, but they didn't put the tea in there. I'm sorry, Fernand.

You apologizing to Courtney? To you, to my friend. All right, we'll see how fast I can get through this.

I wanted to share a true story from my freshman year dorm at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Hey, I'm going to be there on Sunday with Logan Metz at Comedy on State.
Come check it out.

Better be good. I hope you come, Courtney, Courtney, whatever your name is.
Come tell me.

I woke up on my bunk bed suddenly in the early hours of Monday, January 23rd. My clock ran 3.33 a.m.

I glanced at the mirror on our door and I saw a girl with long dark hair and a white nightgown sitting on my futon. I turned my head and she was still there, just staring at her reflection.

My heart started racing and I yanked the blanket over my face, but every few minutes I peeked out, barely able to breathe, and she never moved.

She just sat there, staring at herself in the mirror for nearly two hours until I finally fell back asleep. She never left.

The next day, I kept it to myself because I didn't want to freak out my roommate. But the following night,

while my roommate and I were watching The Bachelor, I told her what I saw and her face went pale. She said she thought she'd seen me making coffee in the dark of night, but I'd never gotten up.

I remembered the girl was wearing white. My roommate said that she thought it was me in my white Arizona sweatshirt, but that sweatshirt was packed away.
What really terrified us was this.

I saw her at the futon. My roommate saw her at the coffee machine by the foot of her bed in between the two of us.
We were so shaken, we didn't even sleep in our room for the next night.

To this day, I have no logical explanation for this and we've even debunked theories like someone could have snuck into our room since our door is automatically locked.

A few years later, a friend brought the story up and told me that he'd seen something similar and even caught it on video.

He was at a party filming his friend when, in the background of the doorway, a girl with dark hair and a white nightgown walked past. And when I saw the video, I nearly started crying.

It was exactly what I'd seen all those years ago. Apparently, she's a common apparition.

At the end, there. Apparition.

Apportation is different than apparition.

But that is, I mean, you know, like, I know that you're like, you give and take ghost stories. Yeah.
But I do think it's interesting. I think it's interesting.

You've seen the most ghosts of anybody I know. I think that sometimes people in college are drunk and see things in the night.
Interesting. And maybe she might have made coffee.
Interesting.

Did you smell coffee? Well, coffee is one, I mean, who knows? It could also be part of, could just be a stagnant recorded memory of a person that used to live there a long time ago.

Coffee is the color.

So, guys, so who says we don't get spooky? Mm-hmm. We got spooky.
We're going to get more spooky. We got a couple more weeks.
Yeah.

Spooky time. I saw Christmas lights up the other day.
Maybe want to burn the neighborhood down. Are you sure they weren't Halloween nights? No, they were.
Their Christmas lights were red and green.

So that's why you're going to live every day knowing for a fact that we're not going to let them take Halloween from us. I don't care.
Also. It could be blood and weed.
We could be.

We also need to laugh at the fact that we completely didn't realize at Lawrence Krause when we covered that bit last week of

the guy confessing to killing his parents and taking their social security checks, that he ran for president.

And he ran for president, Lawrence Krause. We're going to laugh about this.

And

you're going to love the fact that he did a gigantic, really weird

anti-Semitic, like rundown. He's like a full weirdo anti-vax.
I know it doesn't seem like he would be. He seems like he was right on the level.
No, I know. He's great in jail.

You're going to love him. You're going to love him.
But just so you know, he also, I found that out that he also ran for president. That's cool.
And then he had a bunch of

articles that he wrote. Remember how he did that thing where he said, oh, you got to read the reasons why? It was like deeply anti-Semitic.

You know, it'd be cool if there was like some kind of criteria to become president. You know, if you like have to have like a law degree or anything.
Get out of here, you fucking

fucking weak bitch. So we got lots of stuff going on.
We interviewed,

we talked to lots of, we got, we did Black Phone 2 is coming out. Yes.
Everyone checked it out. Loved it.
It was really fun. We talked with Scott Derrickson, the director.

We did a partnership with them. So awesome.
We got to do it.

Honestly, we got into really kind of surprising territory because he was not expecting us to get into like Hellraiser and all of his previous stuff. So it's like, it's a really interesting interview.

And go check it out. And go and buy tickets for Eddie and I.
live at the Matteel Community Center in Humboldt County. October 24th.
Go and check it out. We are doing a Halloween costume contest.

Please show up in costume. We're going to bring some

last podcast type prizes for you all. You know, I'm giving away my Aaron Hernandez book.
I'm going to sign it. I'm going to make the boys sign it, my research book.

I don't need it on my shelf anymore. It's going to be really fun.
One of you will like it more than me, so it's going to you. And also, remember, we are no longer in Cleveland.
We are now in Akron.

Yes, and that's going to be on November 29th at the Goodyear Theater. Go switch over your tickets for that.
And if you're in Akron, congratulations. Come see last podcast on the left.

Am I allowed to say the code on here? Does that mean anybody gets tickets? If I put the code, if I say the code. I think you should hold off on the code.
Yeah, because the code is a one word.

But just know that, hit us up, and someone will tell you if you don't know the code, there's a code word that they sent you in the email from the Cleveland venue that will transfer the ticket over to the Akron venue.

Yes. But it's a word.
I can't tell you the word. It's one word though.
Do you think it's Annabelle? No. Robert.
No. My favorite dolls.
Hey, listen, we also got lots of shows this weekend.

We're going to be at the Pap Cedar in Milwaukee. Check that out.
That's going to be on Saturday. And like I said, on Sunday, I'm going to be at Comedy at State doing Stand Up with Logan Metz.

And then October 25th, we're going to be in Oakland. Come check us out.
That's going to be Last Podcast in the Left Proper. And then

November 16th, I'm doing Stand Up at Mike Drop Comedy in San Diego. And then Columbus, Ohio.
Side Stories on November 30th. Oh, yeah.
That's going to be at the Newport Music Hall.

December 7th, 7th, Henry and I are going to be at Wise Guys Town Square in Las Vegas. That's December 7th.
We're going to be in fucking Vegas, baby. Come check us out there.

And then of course in Portland

on December 12th and 13th, Revolution Hall. Check that out.
Two nights. And then, of course, all the dates I listed earlier for 2026.
Oh, yeah.

And this weekend, I am doing my set on 885 the SoCal Sound. Come check me out.

I am the artist in residence for this Saturday on 885 the so cal sound 6 p.m pacific um all the way until 7 p.m eastern check out my set it's gonna get funky and i got one last thing i want to share with the people this is a fun thing that julie did and i think everyone's gonna appreciate it you like your instagram stories you like playing poop poop poop on the stories you have fun with that i don't you know what you do you go hit that little icon you search eddie tunes there's some eddie tunes gifts he's got for you i got gifts that you can add to your stories he's got some how wonderful is that Pretty great.

I've got gifts. It's another.
I don't even understand it, but it exists. I just love that it's another wonderful opportunity for our audience.
You love it. They just love it.
They just love gifts.

And you know what? Our audience is so simple. That's all they need.
That's all they need. The gifts aren't gifts.
They'ren't. You're free.
You're free. All right.
Council Hayton, everyone. Hail me.

Yeah. Hail me.
Ed Larson. Fuck at it.
Yeah. Eddie Toons.
Check out my gifts. Fucking assholes.
Give him a gift. Give me a gift.

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