Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep

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Speaker 2 There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.
On the left.

Speaker 2 Side stories?

Speaker 6 That's when the cannibalism started.

Speaker 2 Side stories. Yes.

Speaker 2 We're rolling.

Speaker 2 Oh. Oh, what a.
Can I

Speaker 2 do something? This is something I've always wanted to do, Henry.

Speaker 2 You want to start like this. I want to start like this.
It's something I always wanted to do. We have live shows to plug.
We do.

Speaker 2 We have live shows. You always just move past, and the audience appreciates it.
But me, I want to plug the fucking shows. You're allowed to, but I normally.

Speaker 2 Dallas, December 22nd, last podcast on the left. Bring your Catholics.
We're going to spank them. And then.
I would actually prefer if you left them on. March 14th.
Unless they're buying tickets.

Speaker 2 Ryman, Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee. It's going to be a big show.
Coming in. It's going to be huge.
It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it.
We're doing our show.

Speaker 2 It was a Confederate church. It was.
It was.

Speaker 2 And we're turning it back. That's right.
We get to go into a Confederate church and yell Hail Satan back and forth.

Speaker 2 You, the people at home listening to this, Henry Marcus and I, we're going to yell Hail Satan at each other in a former Confederate church. Please come join us there.

Speaker 2 And then, of course, side stories, Huntsville. Merho, you know my favorite city.
Oh, those NASA fucks. You can't keep me out of Huntsville.
You fucking space nerd pieces of shit. Hey, you know what?

Speaker 2 I want to see you goddamn UFOs, your UAPs, you and AP to me. What? Oh, fuck NASA.
I will tell you the truth, though, Eddie. It's that hot.
Due to some of their budget cuts, they already got fucked.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Well, fuck you again. Yeah, seriously.
But no, maybe we do like

Speaker 2 you.

Speaker 2 You're going to be on the list. We'll put you on the list and we'll take care of of you.
We'll hang out because we like NASA. Side stories help you at GMA.com.
Well, hey, perfect.

Speaker 2 Honestly, that was great, Eddie. We do need to plug more up top.
Yes. We do.

Speaker 2 Once we hit the end of the show, people are like, oh, they're done. They turn it off.
They never hear the plugs. And then they're like, when are you coming to Dallas? You're like, I was just there.

Speaker 2 Because they don't sit there and they don't listen. But, Ed, guess what? They're going to ask anyway.
Yes. I know, and that's okay.
Yeah, I want them to. I want them to know.
And here we go. Clive.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of fun. This show's better than ever.
Please do.

Speaker 2 Come see us us live but before that you're listening to side stories and I am Henry Zabrowski I'm sitting here with Ed Larson hi and thank you seriously fervent enthusiasm is the style option of that sales pitch and I'm proud of that yeah I'm proud of our energy I want

Speaker 2 an auction now no you did a good job I also want you so sad no I can't have this this is worse I'd rather I'd rather the rage my pillow is soaked with tears I'm gonna beat you till you're happy again oh please I'm gonna beat you I mean I know Now you're coming.

Speaker 2 Now you're just going to start coming.

Speaker 2 But first of all, that's one rollback. Second rollback.
We want to say thank you to the nice emails I received from Lindsay Schookas. Hey!

Speaker 2 About our old friend. My good buddy.
Saturday Night Live Audition.

Speaker 2 Obviously, she said that it was edited around her, but she's a lovely lady.

Speaker 2 Some of you made your feelings known about her, her, the impression she gave on the Saturday Night Live documentary, on her personal social media accounts, she says, Thank you,

Speaker 2 please. The notes were released.

Speaker 2 Yes, she says, Thank you.

Speaker 2 And, but she is honestly, she sent a lovely email, and she specifically said one of the nicest things I have heard, which she says, Lauren told this to everybody who drilled it into our heads all these years.

Speaker 2 Anybody that stepped foot on 8H for that audition is funny. And that's like, it doesn't really matter.
Like, nothing. That's that is.
They never asked me. No.

Speaker 2 And it shows. And really, really fucking shows.
So I want to say thank you, ladies. Live shows.

Speaker 2 And Eddie, you did a very good job. Thank you for supporting me last week.
You're a good

Speaker 2 friend, and I love you as well. Yeah, and I want to just say for the record, if I ever go after anyone, I don't like going after people, but what if I ever do? She does.
Let me do it.

Speaker 2 You know, like, I don't need you to do it too. People are.

Speaker 2 Please do not attack people on our behalfs. We're doing it ourselves on the show.
Unless, of course, they themselves are bad. Yes.
Right? Because they feel like that's the thing.

Speaker 2 Engagement is good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the engagement is good. Well, on our Instagram, not on her Instagram.
It did work for us. Hey, I got a compliment out of it.
Yeah, you did get a compliment on this. I'll take it.

Speaker 2 So, thank you guys.

Speaker 2 And another update. Oh, yeah, we got a big one.
Can we play the funeral dirge?

Speaker 2 Would you mind playing? Can we hold for a second while we get this clip coming?

Speaker 2 Last week,

Speaker 2 I just got to stop talking about these things. Yeah.
All right. Because

Speaker 2 D-I-R-G, the funeral dirge. Because last week we brought up.

Speaker 2 Is this a funeral dirge? That's awesome. Yeah.
This is a requiem for Katrina? Is that the hurricane?

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, I mean, it was very upsetting. They're all musicians down there when they have to deal with their pain in some way.
But starting with like a march.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, they love to celebrate, you know, their funerals are great. Maybe Maybe your buddy could have a New Orleans funeral.
Norbert the Tiny Dog is dead. Dead?

Speaker 2 Now, I brought it up last week, talking about my issues with social media dogs and their representation in the media.

Speaker 2 And Norbert the Little Dog, as I said, was one of the only things that held my precious psyche together. In some of the hardest moments of my life.

Speaker 2 So as of Monday of last week, they had post little thing. Norbert the dog, little tiny dog, little tongue sticking out of its mouth, beady eyes.
Yeah. Can't think.
No brain, right?

Speaker 2 My favorite kind of dog. Oh, the best.
Tetrified. Stupid.
Cute.

Speaker 2 How I hope to be when I'm old. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. And so Norbert the dog was listed as safe from coming out of the, he went to the hospital.
And they said his, his,

Speaker 2 all of his signs are looking well, and maybe his kidney markers were slightly up, but they said that he was doing really well. And they posted a bunch of videos of of him eating in the hospital.

Speaker 2 And they're like, oh, look, Norbert's back to his old self. 12 hours later, he's dead.
Yes. Fucking dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
And dog hospitals, they're not the best always.

Speaker 2 Well, the thing about them. You would like to think a star like Norbert would get proper care.
You would, but it seems that they get the same health care as us, whatever you could afford.

Speaker 2 You got to see his last meal. I am

Speaker 2 so angry. As a fan, that's pretty cool.
But I now, I need new, I need new rules. I'm going to see Dom DeLouise's last meal.
Well, that would be incredible.

Speaker 2 I saw James Gandolfini's last meal, and that will always inspire me. But beloved famous dog Norbert passes away.
I do believe it was Death by Hanging. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Doing autoerotic asphyxiation, which is super sad that Norbert couldn't find love that he couldn't buy. You know what? I'm going to like the post.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes, please do.

Speaker 2 But I now have rules. Okay, I've unfollowed the other dogs.
Whoa. Yeah, I'm out of the game.
Come on, dude. I'm out of the game.
You want tempered? These dogs don't deserve love? No.

Speaker 2 Because Norbert's dead? No, because they're temporarily. Does Snorbert let you down? Yes.
Snorbert was 15.

Speaker 2 Norbert

Speaker 2 100 years old in dog years. I want rules in place, okay?

Speaker 2 Us fucking stupid ass center-left liberals, right? We love regulations, except, of course, when it comes down to air quality, because we're all fucking experts out here. Yeah.
But we.

Speaker 2 So these guys, but I want some regulations on social media pets, and this is it, all right? This is what I want. Number one, you either

Speaker 2 live forever in perpetuity, serving the ghost of that animal as if it is alive. Forever.
So that animal. You know, there's like 10 Benjis.
Yes. You know?

Speaker 2 If Norbert the dog is there, I want you to pretend that Norbert the dog is fine. Yeah, that's what they did with Flipper.
I don't want the reality. That's not why I'm following Norbert.

Speaker 2 I'm following Norbert to have my soul uplifted. But, okay, yes, in this cruel, very stark memorial post that they made, the 2009 to 2025 tombstone memorial that they put.

Speaker 2 No, what's beautiful about this, Eddie? There's no, he's not amongst his friends. He's not on the other side of the rainbow bridge.
These two human hands holding him up.

Speaker 2 But, dude, that Norbert is in hell right now. Like, that picture.

Speaker 2 Not Norbert.

Speaker 2 What? You think Norbert went to hell? He helped people when they needed the most. He was failed.
I look at Norbert and I see the eyes of a thing that has been compromised.

Speaker 2 And I look at him and I know, I see this memorial tombstone 2009 to 2025 underneath him. They didn't even try to shoot it up.
There's no harps. There's no clouds.
There's no angels. There's nothing.

Speaker 2 What's going on in the story there's no jimmy carter happily opening his lap

Speaker 2 on that norberd story that's another fan post that's not from the official instagram so that's my rule one my rule one is either where's your norberd post mine wouldn't because i norbert did so much for you The second Norbert is dead, the second I don't have to give the humans that are making money off of Norbert's soul that money anymore.

Speaker 2 All right, unless you give them any money. I didn't, but my time, which is worth money.
And then if you look at this, right? So, so rule one is either, and I, and I, so it's one or the other.

Speaker 2 It is either, it lives in perpetuity. We do not address the mortality of the animal.
We move. We're attracted to tiny, shaking, dying dogs.
Yes, and I want their dying. That is a dude to like a

Speaker 2 lively dog. No, no.

Speaker 2 And then rule two is: if not,

Speaker 2 the day Norbird is dead, there needs and must be the next post.

Speaker 2 And here's Nippers.

Speaker 2 Norbert, yeah. But there needs to be brand new dog, new talent on the roster.
Just change the name of the account, everything. Done.
Or Norbert the dog, R.I.P. parentheses, slowly but surely.

Speaker 2 Nippers is filling a lot of the content out, obviously, because Nippers is the new dog. You will slowly ingratiate Nippers to the audience.

Speaker 2 Hopefully, if you've done your research correctly, Nippers is pretty close to the OG one, and then Nippers can go and

Speaker 2 be, have his tongue sliding out. Just the fact that it's like, because look at right now,

Speaker 2 obviously, they don't talk about why his tongue's sliding out. It's because he's got no teeth.
He's rotten teeth and had to get his teeth removed. Yes, that happens to a lot of small dogs.

Speaker 2 That happens to a lot of small dogs. That's so cute.
It is adorable. Yes, extremely adorable.
And technically, you could get the same effect by wearing

Speaker 2 expertly

Speaker 2 several

Speaker 2 flopping out of your mouth.

Speaker 2 You just got to get rid of some of these side rail teeth. That's going to be the new zoomer trap.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that dumb shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, bleps. Yeah, yeah, kids doing toothless bleps.
Nothing would make me hate. That would be cuter.

Speaker 2 Certainly better than all the fucking Nazism. Yeah, but he passed away on January 26th on a Sunday.
Dogs don't pass away. Dogs die.

Speaker 2 Dogs fucking die. Okay? I missed my dogs.
9 p.m.

Speaker 2 Died in the owner's arms. How sweet.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 It's better than fucking dying in

Speaker 2 the end zone being spiked after it fucking made the quarter to fucking touch down or whatever.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. I unfollowed all the other cute animals except for Cheddarini.
Who's Cheddarini? I'm not even going to bring up.

Speaker 2 Super close to death because you like them? I'm not going to bring up Cheddarini. Cheddarini? Cheddarini? Chedinari.
Cheddarini.

Speaker 2 You know who you should look up?

Speaker 2 Cheddarini. Is the alive Norbert? Norbert Barka.

Speaker 2 Antinsta's still alive. He's going to be dead soon.
Still going to the park and having play dates with his friends? He's going to be dead soon. No, he's got at least four years.

Speaker 2 Also, my sweet, sweet friend that runs. Oh, look at this boy.
And also, my sweet, sweet friend that runs puppy songs. Both of those dogs died, too.
The puppy songs people died? Yes. Not the people.

Speaker 2 No, the people live on. Should we play the funeral dirge for them? Yes.

Speaker 2 Just skip ahead a little bit past the drums.

Speaker 2 Let's get to the horns. Oh, the puppy songs guys died too.
Yes. And I want to say big ups to Mel.

Speaker 2 I want to say his name was Ding Dong. Mel Ding Dong.
Yeah, I remember. It was Mel and Snet.
Snepit. Sneppet Ding Dong.

Speaker 2 You really inspired many cute songs about the cheese tax.

Speaker 2 Oh, the cheese tax is them. They're dead.
I love the cheese tax. Oh, the cheese stack lives forever.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 you mean the intellectual property rights of the song. Yes.
I wonder if they, I mean, they need to really cut that. Now that they got time, that they don't have to watch all these dogs.

Speaker 2 They can really hit the studio with that cheese tax. I love you guys, and I'm so sorry you lost your dogs.

Speaker 2 Lost the dogs.

Speaker 2 I joke because mine are next. Mine have been next for years.
Well, that's why you're numb. Yeah, yeah, I am numb because I was just like, Tootsie, she's got the night terrors.
Oh, yeah,

Speaker 2 she's actively keeping you awake, and they're actively dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She puked four times last night, just walking around. Oh, that's why she looks so good, so skinny.
She is thin, yeah.

Speaker 2 But no, no, same. I have two elderly dogs.
No, I have one elderly dog, and they're the other one waiting. Jackie asked me on a double date earlier, and then I said, Can I bring my dogs?

Speaker 2 Because I know they're gonna die soon.

Speaker 2 Nothing sets the tone of a double date better.

Speaker 2 Nothing sets one better than bringing your mid-death

Speaker 2 17-year-old dog. Tootsie's fine.
Tootsie just looks sort of like she's seeing all the people she's going to see on the other side. She's done been seeing them people.

Speaker 2 And I feel the same way with my father, the same way, where I'm just kind of numbed to the fact that we've been kind of saying he's going to be dead for so long.

Speaker 2 And that even my father's sitting around going like, wasn't I supposed to be dead? Like, literally, he said that. He's like, I thought I was supposed to be dead already.
We're like, no, dad.

Speaker 2 No, it doesn't work like that. He's like, yeah, well.
Tootsie's walking around. She's like, Kathy? Kathy? Where's Kathy? No, no, and you're like, that's my mother.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's cute, though. It is cute.
That's cute and sad. Every time she starts barking at me, though, I'm like, am I dying? Because, you know, she sees it.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, whoever see those, you ever hear those stories about, like, there was one famous story about a cat that would choose people in a nursing home. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 It would go lay at the feet of the person, and then they'd be like, oh, the cat loves it.

Speaker 2 And then they fucking die. You know what they say about that is if you die in front of your cat and people don't don't find you, your cat will eat you.

Speaker 2 But if you die in front of your dog, your dog will not eat you. No, well, I've heard, you know, that's one of those kind of Reddit-y, we don't know what's real, it's not real.

Speaker 2 They've sometimes they say, too, it's like a dog will keep them from the people from getting to the body. Yes, the famous case of the cat named Oscar, who worked at a nursing home in Rhode Island.

Speaker 2 Seemed to have an uncanny ability to predict when residents were about to die.

Speaker 2 I'm surprised someone tried to kill the cat. I would.
Yeah. Oh, no.
If that cat showed up at my feet, I'd be like, get the hell out of here, You feline bastard. I'm not going to hell.
I won't die.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're so cute, kitty. I won't die.

Speaker 2 I need to have sex with another sex worker. Yes.

Speaker 2 I won't die.

Speaker 2 I will buy love.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so but here's an update on Norbert's

Speaker 2 casket. No, no, not a casket.
He doesn't have one.

Speaker 2 He says, they say in the post, in celebration of Norbert's life, we will share norbert's photos and videos on his social media and websites in some way we hope to carry on with his good work when you think of him we would want you to just smile in the spirit of norbert high five to each of you love julie so we're gonna still they're gonna stay posting yeah that's what they're saying i'm gonna follow you you unfollowed yeah i'm following you know because there's nothing better norbert is dead i know but this you wanted to pretend there's more content coming they wanted to pretend they're not pretending they said said he's dead.

Speaker 2 It's one or the other. You don't think they should post anymore? No, this is a Macaulay.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, what, you think there should be a lot of people? We have no more photos of David Lynch?

Speaker 2 Should we just take all of his work and throw it in the trash because he's dead? David Lynch wasn't famous for being cute. You know what I mean? He was pretty cute.
But David Lynch wasn't.

Speaker 2 Look at this. No one did this for David Lynch.
No one wrote, oh, here's the David Lynch flower pen. I think there is, I bet, if, I bet there is.
David Lynch knee-high socks. I don't see those.

Speaker 2 I I bet those exist as well. David Lynch, knee-high socks.
Of course they exist. It's just different when I view it.
Oh, the 2025 calendar

Speaker 2 sold out really quick. Wow.
You remember when August Ames, the porn star, committed suicide? Yes. I kind of feel the same way where I just still just...

Speaker 2 But Dorbert didn't commit suicide. No, but it's like it, in a way, gave up.
He gave up on us. He didn't give up.

Speaker 2 All he had to do was not die. That's all he had to do.
Jimmy Carter waited around for a long fucking time. I think you have an unrealistic view on how long dogs will.
I'm grieving.

Speaker 2 And my grief will appear as it will. If you want to be a fan of dogs, no, they're going to die.
I know. Oh, I know.
All right. I just don't want to think about it to the last part.

Speaker 2 Are you going to be one of those people that when your dogs die, you're not going to get any new dogs? Are you going to get big dogs?

Speaker 2 Opposite. You're going to get bigger dogs.
New dog that day.

Speaker 2 Oh, that day. That day.

Speaker 2 One, first, the first visit to the vet to meet the executioner, and the second visit is going to the pound yes so it's one in and out that's what i'm doing no emotional no emotion i need the emotional snapback yeah okay i will not grieve properly i refuse to and i don't want to

Speaker 2 i find it weird all right so august ames when she committed suicide now when everyone sit a blue moon my penis has an inkling to see her and remember her do you still watch of course but then right afterwards.

Speaker 2 You start thinking about her family. Well, it's just the saddest thing in the world.
And then you are just jerking off to a dead woman. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you know she. And then obviously in porn, most of the time I consider most of these ladies are probably dead.
By the time I'm seeing it, you know, most of the time they've gotten this.

Speaker 2 No, not the new ones.

Speaker 2 Not the new ones. I'm saying the old ones.
She was sad. I'm saying the ones from my generation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're like wrestlers. They're like professional wrestlers.
Yes, it's hard. What about Anna Nicole Smith? Are you done with her?

Speaker 2 She just kind of makes me sad, but no. But she's a star.
I still, yeah. She's, I mean, that's, you know, she's.
I don't do it all the time, Eddie.

Speaker 2 I'm just every once in a blue moon, you'll just see a snippet. Once, you'll just see

Speaker 2 a thing that reminds you of that, like two big melons.

Speaker 2 It's amazing that you get nostalgic while you jerk off. No, it's before.

Speaker 2 While I'm jerking off, I am a fucking serial killer.

Speaker 2 No emotion is in there. In the two minutes, 40 seconds it takes me to come while I'm jerking off.
I am

Speaker 2 incorruptible. I don't exist.

Speaker 2 There is no me.

Speaker 2 I am something else. I am a third thing, a devil and an angel.

Speaker 2 Cannot be reasoned with.

Speaker 2 But immediately afterwards, it's like, oh, well, it's

Speaker 2 changed from the dynamics. The problem is that you just see her smiling.

Speaker 2 Maybe she has some particulate matter on her face. And then you think, like, oh, now she's fucking dead.
Are we talking about Norbert or August names right now?

Speaker 2 Because I was going to say, Norbert's probably a guy. Yeah, I don't ever jerk off of him.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I take August names off.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Take it off. I can't look at her.
I can't look at her. I'm getting sad.
It's not. Just looking at her, I'm getting sad.
You shouldn't be learning their names. You got to.
Of course you do.

Speaker 2 I like their work. I like their art.
I like their work. Yeah.
I do, of course.

Speaker 2 How is like whatever the first video is, usually? Well, yeah, sometimes, but every once in a while, if I'm alone,

Speaker 2 you know, if I get in a hotel room, there's, you know, whatever.

Speaker 2 You've all heard it. We've all fucking heard this before from countless comedians.
So let's talk about some news, some real news. Shout out to the very alive Norbert Barka.

Speaker 2 I know, but it's a larger dog, so we got less time with it. So get your time with it now.
He's very cute. All right, so if you want to be with him now, do it now.

Speaker 2 And he likes that old lady, and that old lady likes him. Yes.
Good.

Speaker 2 Good. But I'm a following.
I'm done. Live from Northland.

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Speaker 2 All right. So are we going to talk about any actual news today? Yes.
We have to. Okay.
There's still plenty of show.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And there's not much news.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
We are still, we're going to be suffering a little bit from a political vacuum for a little bit. Can can you believe that norbert's dead

Speaker 2 unbelievable i'll talk about it more

Speaker 2 we were supposed to do we did a guest spot on a big podcast yesterday we had a bunch of content we were supposed to talk about and all i wanted to talk about was norbert and the guy wanted nothing yeah and nothing to do with him we all we really wanted to talk about was paul prudhome yeah oh and norbert i love paul prudhome when paul prudhm i met him before he died yeah and i still jerk off to his image as much as possible as you should he deserves it

Speaker 2 His spice combinations cannot be beat. We'll save it for our nutmeg-based show later this week.
Thank you, Eddie.

Speaker 2 You're right, because we do have a lot of nutmeg information to go through that we will be covering this week.

Speaker 2 Now, first I want to cover, you know, United States of America ain't the only ones that are pretty far ahead along in the game of domestic terrorism. Okay.

Speaker 2 These Canadians, you're figuring it out, but just like they do. Like, you know, I'm not one of these people.
We don't want, I don't want you, Canada. No.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 We want you to stay over there. I want you over there just because you deserve your own country.
You don't need to be here. You should get rid of that queen, as far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 2 They have a queen? Well, they got, I mean, king.

Speaker 2 They have to go pay attention to King Charles. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, for the next 15 minutes that he's still alive, they have to pay attention to him. So, but guys,

Speaker 2 hold my head while I sign these papers.

Speaker 2 They have now they're going to do King Charles knee-high socks and King Charles doggy biscuits.

Speaker 2 But now, Canada, they're catching up to us, but only in the most Canadian way, which is it's not quite violent enough, guys. You're going to have to ship up or ship out.

Speaker 2 This was so the police, they've cleared the W.R. Bennett Bridge.
They reopened it to traffic after the Royal Mounted Police news. They saw a suspected vehicle, an ice cream truck,

Speaker 2 was

Speaker 2 parked, blocking the entire bridge. Now, they first

Speaker 2 know what it was. It was blocking a bunch of traffic, but then a Facebook post came out with the Canadian Patriot, Roy Winner,

Speaker 2 who posted explaining there were explosives inside that ice cream truck, and you're only safe if you say 50 feet back. Because I control it from far away.
Because now they are looking at it.

Speaker 2 This all came out over the weekend. So it it was sitting there.

Speaker 2 They first closed the bridge at 3.45 a.m. Because it happened in the middle of the night.
So that's another one who really was trying to avoid violence.

Speaker 2 Nothing happened yet.

Speaker 2 The guy that was,

Speaker 2 I do think it's funny, the head investigator for this by the name of his name is Goebbels. Inspector Chris Goebbel.

Speaker 2 Which is the first time, I didn't know they allowed that. The Germany Goebbels? I guess so.
Well, he's the Canadian Goebbels. Oh, okay.
So they're like, well, how'd they get there?

Speaker 2 Oh, well, you know, you better think about maybe the fact that fascism is going to save all of us, you know. Like, if you think that's that's Canadian Goebbels.

Speaker 2 And so they went and they figured out, but the message is really wanting to come into because they, so, again, it's Canada. So this is in the town of

Speaker 2 Kelowna, Kelowna. Okay.
Which I believe is in, I forget which one of these fucking places. Kelowna, it's in British Columbia.

Speaker 2 So he, this guy, Roy Winter, they have been trying to obviously hide his truths from us. Okay.
Because they're really afraid that his manifesto will radicalize people.

Speaker 2 Very similar to Louis G. Mangion.
Did you read his manifesto? Of course I did.

Speaker 2 I love those manifestos. Manifestos are one of my favorite things.
You know, that's what you can replace Norbert with. Oh, my manifestos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I can write mine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Finally.

Speaker 2 Finally.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 So, Roy Winter, I will be live streaming this action to bring public attention to a necessary evil. Right, when you see this email, this action has commenced.

Speaker 2 If for some reason this doesn't make the news, you might want to question why.

Speaker 2 And it's because the RCMP are going to try to bury everything and all the evidence to go along with it while protecting the hell's angels, Kelowna Cabs, and willing participants from public attention.

Speaker 2 Whether you believe it or not, this story is 100% truthful.

Speaker 2 Just so everyone is fully aware of the fact that the Attorney General of Canada, Ari Farrani's office, has had a complete copy of all the evidence delivered by Canada, by Canada Post, to 284 Wellington Street on January 17, 2025, 10:57 a.m.

Speaker 2 First, I would not apologize to everyone who suffers because of my actions here today, but you can ultimately thank the RCMP, the Hells Angels, Kelowna Cabs, and willing participants for putting me in this predicament.

Speaker 2 The William R. Bennett Bridge is closed in both directions until this matter is resolved and my life restored with restitution.

Speaker 2 I am accusing the RCMP, especially Sergeant Bryce Peterson, the Hills Angels, Cologne Cabs, and willing participants for conspiracy, collaboration, corruption, crookedness, while intentionally causing me irreversible financial harm.

Speaker 2 The Hells Angels have been in the news lately. What's going on? Are they back officially?

Speaker 2 Well, remember in Australia, they talked about the bikes. The bikies, they definitely got a bikey problem.
They have a biker problem.

Speaker 2 And Canada does still have a Hells Angels problem, but this guy figured out they're going to be, you know, very inactive in the winter.

Speaker 2 But he has now a bunch of rules of what people are allowed to do around him. He said the emergency vehicles are allowed to pass him as long as they got their sirens on.

Speaker 2 And he says, choice A, all right, you got two choices, right? Choice A,

Speaker 2 right? You'll see that my vehicle has got 60 pounds of highly volatile material that requires nothing more than a stupid human to make a simple mistake and regret their decision.

Speaker 2 Choice A is that today a safe distance from my vehicle is approximately 50 feet. Choice B is that I will introduce you to God at the same time I introduce myself.

Speaker 2 So he's just sitting in an ice cream truck on a bridge waiting, saying that he's going to blow it all up. And then they are letting traffic resume.
It's very Canadian. They are open

Speaker 2 sitting there like waving at cars holding a button they won't even detonate them they won't even dare to shoot me they won't even try to arrest me and so he's would you drive past it yeah sure i'd give him a honk yeah yeah i mean so

Speaker 2 he could just let it off at any moment i want a chocolate i want a chocolate double scoop

Speaker 2 Why wouldn't they check? And they won't kill him because they don't want the bridge to blow up. So it's Canada.
And so they went, they're very, very cautious in Canada.

Speaker 2 And I think largely they didn't believe him because they didn't know what's going on. Because they found out that the

Speaker 2 matter of fact, they safely went through the entire truck. Basically, the manifesto, long and short, this is much longer than I even want it to be.

Speaker 2 That they

Speaker 2 gave him tickets he didn't like. Yeah.
And then he went to fight them. With the Los Angeles.
Yep. And won in court.
And then, so he won. Very similar to our killdozer,

Speaker 2 battle winners.

Speaker 2 He also

Speaker 2 was apparently involved in some kind of assault with what he said was a hell's angel. And he was trying to save the town from this hell's angel.
And that the police protected the hell's angel.

Speaker 2 Oh, so he just attacked some guy because he was wearing a biker's cut. He doesn't like motorcycles.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think they scare him. I think it's because ice cream trucks are really slow.
The ice cream trucks and motorcycles are enemies. I would say that they are definitely enemies.

Speaker 2 So they went and they got him. The explosive unit, they arrived.
They're stationed on the bridge. This was back in the day.

Speaker 2 And the acting commissioner, they said they went through the

Speaker 2 risk assessment of the vehicle's contents was finally found, coupled with the man's comments over both the phone and online, resulted in both the Southeast District's emergency response team and the RCMP explosive disposal being deployed.

Speaker 2 And they said they did not elaborate on the contents of the van, but said they pose a significant risk to public safety. So, what that means is that there were no

Speaker 2 van. And he lied.

Speaker 2 And they didn't want to admit that. No.
Yeah, that they lied. Because they definitely would have said if it was a bomb.
Yeah. They absolutely would have said it was a bomb.
Yeah. No, for sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And then he started a fire in the van.
He was parking across the bridge. He was taking it.
That's got to be hard. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what nobody tells you.

Speaker 2 He said, all the ice cream melts and milks. You know what melts in ice cream? He's like, no one says it's like water.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's not like diesel fuel. Those ice cream can put out flames.
That's the thing.

Speaker 2 They're unhinged, man. Remember the Mr.
Softy guys in New York? Oh, yeah, dude. They were fucking nuts, dude.
I remember they used to, they love the cheesesteaks.

Speaker 2 When I worked at 99 Miles of Philly, the cheesesteak restaurant, they would always call and then they put in an order for a cheesesteak and they'd be like, delivery.

Speaker 2 And I'd be like, all right, where are you at? Who, you know, what's your address? He's like, Miss Softie. I was like, Okay.
He's like, I'm in a Miss Softie truck. All right, where is it?

Speaker 2 And I'm Miss Softie. It's like, you're not Mr.
Softie. You're not.
If you think you're the ice cream man, then this conversation has to end. Mr.
Softie's a brand. And you work for

Speaker 2 Softie. He has ice cream for a head.

Speaker 2 It's not you.

Speaker 2 But yeah, these, I mean, when you live on an ice cream truck, I mean, life is crazy.

Speaker 2 I know I do. It's also, I mean, an ice cream truck in Canada in the middle of winter.

Speaker 2 I mean, this guy's got problems. Useless, yeah.

Speaker 2 He just needs something to do. Strike trying to sell ketchup to a lady with white gloves.
That's right, man.

Speaker 2 Why are you doing that? I don't know. I don't want to even say that.
Because you're Brian Denahy. Yep, that's right.
Oh, yeah. Tommy Boy.

Speaker 2 So that's that story. That's really all we got.
Canada is not releasing a heck of a lot about this because of the fact that there was no, probably, no bomb in there.

Speaker 2 He caused a public nuisance and was then arrested. And the perfect Canadian domestic terrorist vent because nothing happened.
Yeah. Because that's what they're really good at.

Speaker 2 Canada has a thing that I find interesting. There were no animals involved, which is un-Canadian.
We are very un-Canadian. I have found that Canada has distinctly very intense laws about planning.

Speaker 2 crimes versus doing them. Like there is a big story that they, I forget the hell her name is.

Speaker 2 There was a shooter that they got them they gave them a life sentences on just planning the shooting oh really without doing the shooting which is fascinating in and of itself because technically it's hard because it's

Speaker 2 what if planning crimes

Speaker 2 the valentine's day shooting planning lindsay savanaranth uh this lady was was uh a you was woman sentenced to life for this but it was just to plot the shooting and what they say is that if you put up a bunch of like, she tried, she came into Canada from America.

Speaker 2 They said that once she crossed the border, then it shows the intent. And then they went, and I believe that they had a gun.

Speaker 2 But the thing is, then when you listen to, which is the last podcast on the left thing, though, which a lot of people don't say, that's what it says here.

Speaker 2 The Rosinski, according to the police, Justice Peter Rosinski, they said if the plan to kill unsuspecting shoppers had not been interrupted by an anonymous tip and the quick actions of local police, it would have been carried out.

Speaker 2 But it was still

Speaker 2 I'm going to say that it was still pretty far from when it was carried out.

Speaker 2 And if you were to kind of see their correspondence now, like, yes, obviously they take these mass shootings extremely seriously, as we all do, but there's a little bit of

Speaker 2 this could just be two morons talking. Yeah, I was thinking about that.
And I don't know. Because they are two morons.
Please stop anyone who's planning a mass shooting.

Speaker 2 Thank you for your work, of course.

Speaker 2 But at what point does it go from a possible creative exercise to

Speaker 2 a crime? Well, it's also in Canada, they say that idea of the threatening. Yeah, the sentence was partly shaped, according to Rosinsky again, by the principles that apply to terrorism.

Speaker 2 While he told the court the motivations and intentions in the case are not precisely the same as those related to terrorism activities, he said the crime requires the court to send a clear message to those conspiring to kill multiple people that they will pay a heavy price.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 that's interesting because they do the exact opposite of what we do in our country where we don't like labeling things as terrorism unless of course they're luigi manzioni and they actually inspire a bunch of people then that's very quickly terrorism yeah so that they can even though they don't understand this kind of thing it wasn't quickly terrorism well it's like a week or two we debated whether it was terrorism or not no and it was a but it was a real quick debate yeah it was a real quick debate now it's you know i want to go i want to circle back to this because you know thinking about it it's just like planning a

Speaker 2 like that what if what if that's just like

Speaker 2 a creative thing that you want to do dude put it in the screenplay and then it's legal there's literally no i feel like it's just one of those there's there is no right and wrong i guess the moment you buy a gun that's what they're saying yeah the moment you buy a gun it changes but still in um in an american justice and for i would consider if we if when we have those things it does make sense to me that you can still make the decision to not pull that trigger up until the moment you pull that trigger.

Speaker 2 Like, to me, it comes into

Speaker 2 then you have a disaster on your hand. But you'd be surprised.
I actually just watched another,

Speaker 2 it was an interrogation series of these two teen mass shooters that one of them, obviously the one said they were the aggressor, right? One said that they were aggressor.

Speaker 2 And the other said that they were not the aggressor. But when they went deeper into it, they could see that it was

Speaker 2 kind of the opposite. And it was like that one was like the kids, though,

Speaker 2 were

Speaker 2 really hesitant into the very, very, very last minute. Yeah.
And then the first killing happened. They pulled out

Speaker 2 a gun. The other kids immediately wrestled the gun away, tried to wrestle the gun away from him.
And he shot the first person, but he didn't shoot anybody else. Okay.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 there's something. And then, to me, that's where the line is.
Yeah. They brought the school,

Speaker 2 but it's it's hard because

Speaker 2 of course. Well, then I think about, well, you know, we suffered, I've suffered, unfortunately, two very dangerous stalkers.

Speaker 2 And part of that issue with stalkers is the same things that you really can't do anything about it until they fucking kill you and your family because they're just saying like it's a free world and they can they can technically harass you as much as they want, especially if you're a public figure in that way.

Speaker 2 So it's one of those where it's kind of all over the place. I have no fucking idea.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I feel that this is, because in America, we also, a lot of times we do the, the, not entrapment, but we help radicalized people. Yes.
We do that thing. In order to stop them.
Yes. To stop them.

Speaker 2 We show up and give them all the gear and say, hey, meet us here, and then we arrest them. Yeah.
So I don't know. I have no idea what they arrest.
That's working for us because nothing bad happens.

Speaker 2 That's the thing, Eddie. Because the best part about it.
And then what they do is it's like they set up a terrorist event that they then stop. And then they go, see?

Speaker 2 Yeah. See what we did? They do catch some people.
Of course they do.

Speaker 2 The NYPD talks about, I remember I was talking to somebody that the idea that if you knew like how much shit floats like through the NYPD like halls. Well, I worked.

Speaker 2 In terms of information and what that happens there. They're like, you'd never sleep a freak.

Speaker 2 I worked with the NYPD for a little bit because we wanted to work on a roast with them and we you know so i took a couple meetings with them and i got like involved with the first precinct and i remember um they they had that they showed us the room where they have like you know the morning meeting like go find this guy go find that guy yeah

Speaker 2 these are the corners that are trouble and then i looked on the side because they have the mug shots they have like a thing of mug shots that you can flip through and then i saw another pad that just had photos of suspicious packages that they found on the subway and it one of them was just like like dynamite and a clock found in a Macy's bag.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we just

Speaker 2 like, I was just like, Whoa, what's this? I'm like, Yeah, we found that on the subway, and I was like, How often does this happen? They're like, More than you'd like, you know,

Speaker 2 like, yeah, thank you. And then think about how many times we carried props on the subway that looked just like that taped up fake guns and shit

Speaker 2 constantly, just like how much problem, how many problems we caused just being artists.

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Speaker 2 well this this next story that I want to talk about is actually related to the subject we're talking about which this happened in Texas a North Texas resident is an on edge after their ring doorbell captures a devil at the door.

Speaker 2 Oh this fucking guy. Yes.
So apparently a guy in a hoodie and a red goat mask showed up to someone's front door with a sign that just says Revelation

Speaker 2 20 colon 1 through 15. Yeah, I want to look at it.

Speaker 2 It's obviously the Bible verse Revelations.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I got it. Yeah, it's awesome.
Yeah, I mean it's fucking metal. It is metal.
I will say that.

Speaker 2 And I saw the angel coming down out of heaven, having the keys to the abyss and holding in his hand a great chain.

Speaker 2 He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.

Speaker 2 He threw him into the abyss and locked and sealed it over him to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore until the thousand years were ended. After that, he must be set free for a short time.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Well, the homeowner said my husband and I had gone out to dinner and we'd stopped off of the store to pick up a Powerball ticket and I was waiting in the car. The devil! It got a restaurant.

Speaker 2 The devil lies in its gambling heart.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly, I agree in that way.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 they got a ring notification and she looked at her phone and there was a dude in a fucking hoodie with this goat devil mask holding the revelations. Never let them forget, friend.

Speaker 2 Always scare them, sir.

Speaker 2 Yes, they all right. The devil is coming and he is your neighbor and he is going to tell the HOA that your lawn is too big.

Speaker 2 He's coming for you. And so she called the cops, filled out a police report, but

Speaker 2 no crime was actually committed. There is no crime.
It's not even really a threat. It's art in a weird way.
Technically, that's what everybody likes in this country. That's evangelicalism.

Speaker 2 That's literally spreading the word of Christ. Yeah.
So the cops are like, we wrote it down, but... There's nothing we can do.
And she's like, I hope that they catch the guy. Why?

Speaker 2 There's nothing to catch. What if there's just nothing to catch? Yeah.
It's a fun guy having a fun time. I bet you that guy's not even Christian.
And she said, I bet you that guy's just high as balls.

Speaker 2 Oh, having a great night. And guess what? This guy just fucking gave me Henry Zabrowski.
An idea? Yeah. Of what to do on the weekend.
Oh, yeah. This is exactly what I want to do.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, side stories LPOTL at gmail.com. Am I bothering you?

Speaker 2 Am I scaring you? Side stories stories at LPOTL at gmail.com. Please email in.
Yeah. Well, she posted about it on social media and it got a lot of traction.
A lot of people did. It's awesome.

Speaker 2 But a lot of people said that they would shoot the person. What?

Speaker 2 That they would just kill them, which if you do this, you'll spend the rest of your life in prison. If you shoot somebody over something fake like this, You're very fucking stupid.

Speaker 2 Do you look at this? And you deserve whatever happens to you. Do you look at this as a threat? I mean, in a way, it's a threat, but not really.

Speaker 2 You want to know

Speaker 2 my actual theory of? If this happened to you, what would you do? It'd be awesome. Just talk about the game.
Just like, do you want to come in and have tea? Yeah, but hey, how you doing, buddy?

Speaker 2 You know what my actual theory is?

Speaker 2 She did this. Whoa.

Speaker 2 She made this all up. Oh, wow.
And all these entire things are ruse. Is obviously a man in the hoodie.

Speaker 2 So she's not, she can't possibly have ever met a man that that would do this. Well, she was with her husband at the power of the man and a wife have never met another man to share their wife with?

Speaker 2 Well, they've never once had a big old, big old guy come over and rail the living F out of your wife while you're sitting there going,

Speaker 2 next time, fucking Greg will respect me. Next time when he sees how big a dick my wife can take, yeah, take it all, Cindy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And once he comes, they're like, you want to do something fun?

Speaker 2 Let's get some cardboard.

Speaker 2 You know, it'd be interesting. Look at the time of the ring video and the time of the purchase of the Powerball ticket.
See if they line up. Well, you see, this is what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 This is what the cops would need to do. Yeah.
And the cops also don't care because there's no crime. They couldn't possibly give a fucking shit.
Right.

Speaker 2 They don't care about this at all because I can guarantee they looked at this and also said, probably, you did this. Yeah.
That you did this to.

Speaker 2 have this go viral so that everyone can think that you're being persecuted for your whatever your Christian beliefs or whatever is happening when it's actually not. Yeah, I think the goat mask is

Speaker 2 stupid. It's not a good one.
No. It could be a little dumber.
No, it's a stupid goat mask. It's not even that evil looking.
It's just red. It's just the, it's sort of like a devil mask.

Speaker 2 I'm saying that this is a homebrewed

Speaker 2 issue and this woman is doing this to us. Oh.

Speaker 2 And that that guy's fake. Okay.
That's my fucking call. But it's in Dallas, so we can go check it out when we're in town.
Oh, yeah, on February 22nd. We got to get this guy to come to the show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Reveal yourself at our show, please.
I would love to have the. Honestly, the real hero here is the goat-faced man.
The mask maker.

Speaker 2 If the mask maker could reach out to SideStories, L-P-O-T-L, at gmail.com, we would love to talk about the end times. I mean, the mask maker is from China.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's different.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we'll meet the nine-year-old that made that plastic mask.

Speaker 2 There's nothing I would like to hear is about the crimes that that nine-year-old has seen working inside of the Halloween mask factories of China. Yeah, um,

Speaker 2 there is a

Speaker 2 fun story from my hometown. What did you do?

Speaker 2 First, I want to talk about the fact that this egg has arrived again. Oh, more eggs! There's another egg.
Well, you know, the eggs, the price still hasn't gone down.

Speaker 2 No, oh, oh, oh, it's almost like, Eddie, I don't know if he even had a plan to bring the prices of groceries town. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't even think that there might even not even been a plan, Eddie. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 The concepts of a plan. No, Eddie, that's funny.

Speaker 2 That's funny, Eddie.

Speaker 2 What a funny joke. 4chan leak Antarctica egg.
Oh, it's Antarctica. I don't know why I thought it was in Alaska.
So show this video. Now, this comes from our favorite reputable news source, 4chan.

Speaker 2 There has been another remote. Oh, the post was removed.
The other main post from Reddit was removed. Wow.
But this one is not.

Speaker 2 So as you can see, you remember last week I showed you a video of what looked like an egg on a stick. Yes.
This is the same, but it looks far more elaborate. This one is a new one.
Same thing.

Speaker 2 They believe that this was recovered outside of Antarctica, and it was an ancient object.

Speaker 2 This is a part of this, whatever this leak series is, where you see what is supposed to be some either, I don't know what they call the dick of a helicopter.

Speaker 2 What do they call it that pops out of the bottom? What's the red rocket of a helicopter? The coctor. Something like that, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you got a thing hanging from that, and you got the fucking egg hanging from that. It looks better than the other one.

Speaker 2 So, is this in?

Speaker 2 Am I looking at two things or one thing here? You're looking at two things. You see that thing dangling and swinging? Yes, that's the egg.
That is the egg-like UFO. But what is below it?

Speaker 2 The red rocket of the helicopter. It is ever the hanging penis out of the bottom of a helicopter that hangs a piece of rope that is holding whatever that egg is.
Hold on.

Speaker 2 Am I looking at this from the ground perspective from the

Speaker 2 sky perspective? Imagine a helicopter is okay this is the helicopter

Speaker 2 on the floor you're doing it this way

Speaker 2 all right i'm a helicopter you see me how i'm a helicopter

Speaker 2 you see how my arms are going like the rotors of a helicopter yeah well just these are going back well this is as far as they could go

Speaker 2 you see how they're like a helicopter sure right yeah

Speaker 2 My penis is hanging down, right?

Speaker 2 In this position, my penis is hanging down. Yeah.
That's what we're looking from.

Speaker 2 Imagine I'm a helicopter and you're a little man hanging out of my belly button, looking over my dick and balls to the floor. Like a POV.
Yes. But it does look like the sky is behind the egg.

Speaker 2 That's a mountain range. That's a mountain range.
If that is real. But these are trees here.
Well, that's a mountain range with fucking trees on it, Eddie. This video is garbage.
That's what I'd say.

Speaker 2 It's worse. Worse than the other one.
I actually think, I do think that this one is

Speaker 2 better

Speaker 2 than the other one. But this is the one.
I I miss the drones. We all do.
I like the drones more than the eggs. This egg stuff, I don't really even understand.
It's just all over my UFO stuff.

Speaker 2 This egg stuff is new. Ross Colhart's got another guy.
So this is also interesting. A guy that he was talking to.
Again, is he full of shit? I have no fucking clue. So

Speaker 2 this big issue, right, with whistleblowers, that Ross Colehart was talking to David Grush. And David Grush kept saying

Speaker 2 that he was just talking about things other guys told him they saw. But I thought Grush was reliable.
No. Well, his position was reliable.

Speaker 2 But he said, but he said in his quote-unquote honesty, I am describing things other people said they saw. Okay.

Speaker 2 But Ross Colehart's got a new guy, Jacob Barber, who has said he has seen these things himself. Okay.
He's a new guy. He says he's worked for the past 30 years.

Speaker 2 He's worked in both official and unofficial capacities for the U.S. government.

Speaker 2 He says he wants to tell people what's going on, what he's seen. According to Russ Colehart, this is brand new.
He's an unknown man. He delivered.
This is brand new.

Speaker 2 And he says, We're in this rare opportunity in human history where it's very clear that we know that there are things flying in the sky that are unexplained and ununderstood.

Speaker 2 And that there's another one of the things that I'm uniquely providing information on. And he says that he saw the aliens himself.

Speaker 2 He said that it's kind of crazy. This is it.
Yeah, this guy was a guy named John Blitch. He said everything changed on September 11th.

Speaker 2 I left the Air Force. A lot of shit changed.
Yeah, everything. Thanks for the update.
Yeah, buddy. No way.

Speaker 2 I left the Air Force and was sent out to California at that time to begin establishing my cover bases as an independent contractor so that I could serve.

Speaker 2 What was coming down the line next for me was the path which led led to the UAP subject. A lot of the work we did was one I call the range, where the U.S.

Speaker 2 government and its private partners used to test all kinds of things-weapon systems and resilience to weapon systems of certain craft. And so, you see a lot of exciting things, said Barbara.

Speaker 2 But then you started to see strange things. It's always interesting out there, he said.

Speaker 2 Things come in and out of sight, things disappear for a moment and reappear, things seem to move very quickly, things change color, they change shape. And they're not even talking about Oprah Winfrey.

Speaker 2 Whoa!

Speaker 2 Got her fucking ass! About time!

Speaker 2 And so, John Barber, he also, Jacob Barber also said, he's like, we know that they had classified craft and we recovered them and we took them back where they go. They went to a place.

Speaker 2 He said, we picked them up. He said, they recovered things, quote-unquote, exotic in nature.
And he said, he's got his first glimpse of non-human pretty quickly.

Speaker 2 He said, I saw an egg. It was a white egg.
There was no engine. There was no thermal signature.
I was operating at night when I finally came in to pick it up.

Speaker 2 So I'm working under night vision goggles at the time, and it was quite clear. I flipped them up, flipped them down, and looked at it a couple of different ways.
And it was an egg.

Speaker 2 Metallic-y, pearly white. He said, I can tell you that the reaction by my team, we all knew we were dealing with something strange.

Speaker 2 They said it was weird. They didn't know what it was.
And they had hieroglyphics on its side.

Speaker 2 Okay. He said, and then he went to go drop off the egg.
And he said, but there was another object when he dropped off the first egg. A basket.

Speaker 2 It was a giant bunny.

Speaker 2 One was the egg. The other was what I called an eight gun.
The eight gun was essentially a flying disc with what looked like eight delineated sections when looking down.

Speaker 2 And I can tell you what it looked like from looking down because that's primarily how I saw it. Because I'm a helicopter pilot.
We did recoveries with the eight guns.

Speaker 2 There was more than one that made its way to the ground on this particular operation. And as I get started getting closer to the site, he said one of the most profound experiences of his life.

Speaker 2 Last time he picked up an eight gun, he said, I started feeling odd. I started feeling extremely emotional.
And the closer I got, the more the emotions started to overwhelm me.

Speaker 2 I felt this intense hybrid of sadness and happiness and beauty and song.

Speaker 2 And it was very disruptive to me because I had a very practical responsibility at the time to operate a helicopter in the mountains at night. And I began wondering, what the hell is wrong with me?

Speaker 2 I felt something had connected with me. I felt like something had tuned into me and my soul and was providing me some sense of guidance on what to do and how profound what I was doing was.

Speaker 2 It was so overwhelming that I began to cry. It was very feminine energy.

Speaker 2 She said the UFOs were talking to him.

Speaker 2 This guy. But what's with

Speaker 2 this fucking guy

Speaker 2 who looks like

Speaker 2 Ryan? That guy is.

Speaker 2 You remember they said about how

Speaker 2 she's sign of a sociopath? Is if you see the entire whites above the pupils? Yes. He's one of those guys.
No, for sure. Oh, yeah.
He definitely looks like an egg. The um

Speaker 2 I don't know. It just seems like

Speaker 2 why why can't helicopter pilots be emotional? Well, no, it's that I mean, why is that bad? It's actually, they say this to the day. Truly, it is.
Leave it at home. They shouldn't be emotional.

Speaker 2 They should not be emotional. They should be, you know that the one of the, you know, the old like, and we were cruising at 10,000 feet.

Speaker 2 Like that voice, like that voice was a constant, what was apparently was a impression, it was an impression of Chuck Yeager.

Speaker 2 So Chuck Yeager was considered to be like one of the biggest icons of all pilots, right? He broke the sound barrier. He did all this shit.
But the thing was unflappable. No emotion.
No personality.

Speaker 2 You know, like, and that's what they look for in astronauts. That's why a lot of astronauts are test pilots.
Yeah, never interview an astronaut. They are boring.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They don't really got a lot to say except the one guy with the mustache.

Speaker 2 And he just opens different things in space and goes look how that floats yeah and they're like

Speaker 2 we all love that guy we all love that guy but i'm saying that's what space is yeah like it's scared the first i mentioned it's it sounds like what's scary it's like what they talked about with space apparently it's just terror mixed with unbearable boredom have you have you thought about going i would never go to space you're obsessed with space i will go to space when there is a proper private way to go to space really oh they don't want me me.

Speaker 2 Lance Bass goes all the time. Yeah, it's because he's one light a ball.

Speaker 2 So he's fine up there. He doesn't need it.
I got two.

Speaker 2 I got two big ones, right? Lance Bass lost some of his balls, right? I have no idea. Didn't he have testicular cancer? I know.
I don't know. Testicular cancer.

Speaker 2 Does Lance Bass have testicular cancer?

Speaker 2 Tell me. That's my vocal warm-up.
Lance Bass had testicular cancer.

Speaker 2 Last Bass. Oh, he doesn't have cancer.
No, no, he's okay. Whatever, dude.
What a bitch. He's got diabetes.
He's got type 2. Cool, alright? 1.5 diabetes? I haven't even heard of that.

Speaker 2 It's called the fucking remake. And arthritis.
Yeah, dude. All right, so he's cool.
All right.

Speaker 2 As long as he's got that beatus, I like him.

Speaker 2 I only like him sick. Well,

Speaker 2 do I have time for my fat man from home? Oh, you got to. You got to.
Because the listener letters were not that very good this week. No,

Speaker 2 no, no.

Speaker 2 In terms of like what we want to talk about, the ones I got.

Speaker 2 are I'm going to use for other purposes. Yeah, yeah, they're there.

Speaker 2 They go in other directions. Oh, except the big one that I will say, which is, I'll just throw it out there.
There was no such thing as a Roman salute. Yeah, we know that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but we did not, but the idea that even the concept of the Roman salute, there was no such thing. No, it was created in movies.
But it was first created in paintings,

Speaker 2 then reiterated by pop culture and things featuring Roman salute. But there are no statues with the Roman salutes, nothing like that.
No artists from back in the day. It is a wholly Nazi invention.

Speaker 2 Yes. And they really like it.
Yeah. and all the nazis are very happy about

Speaker 2 the south africans uh

Speaker 2 nazi salute oh they love that elon musk is a nazi yeah they really they really like that yeah yeah yeah yeah it's good for them it's good for his it's good for his uh his his uh constituency his demo well

Speaker 2 speaking of chaos a large bald man struck a slimmer man on the head with a dinner plate. That's right.
The big news broke it.

Speaker 2 Never calls Nama Son sign stories. A Florida attorney allegedly attacks father of girl who cut in front of him at a buffet at a meat station.
Okay, so let's first break this down. Number one, see him.

Speaker 2 He does, it was an irate move. You know, a man's fat when his face hides his ears.
Yes. I have never seen a face.
The tops of his ears are the only things.

Speaker 2 i have never seen someone's face fat cover that much of their ears it is weird that is a wild face his cheeks and are thicker than his neck and the top of his head his

Speaker 2 he is a lawyer his whole goatee area could fit inside of a large woman's pussy yes that's how small it is yeah no there is he is uh he's very he's very large and you can also another way to tell that a man is fat in a news article is when the other man is constantly called slim when they say that the other slimmer man, like we constantly talk about this, being like, we could just like, also, you could just say two guys, but it's like they obviously wanted to point out how fat the first man was.

Speaker 2 So they had to, they had to just say large man and slimmer man. Yes, I like this story a lot because it happened less than a mile from my high school.

Speaker 2 And it concerns a thing to us, which is meat lines of buffets. Buffet crimes.
Yes. So, okay i i'm of two minds here eddie i i agree with the man but i feel like he took it too far i'm in two of them

Speaker 2 let me okay let me ask all right eddie rob you're a you're a former real fat boy and you were you were a fat boy eddie and i and i you know i feel like we can commiserate on this oh so big oh so big oh bring me my chicken sorry i'm doing my whale performance where's my oscar where's my chicken

Speaker 2 crawl.

Speaker 2 The thing, you know, my problem with the whale is

Speaker 2 not one fart in the whole fucking movie. You're going to tell me last week.
He's not going to fart a lot.

Speaker 2 There's not going to be one fucking fart. It sounded like my lover's farts.

Speaker 2 I miss that guy. What happened to Brady Fraser?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 are there lines in, okay, Lenny, just put this this way. Are there actual,

Speaker 2 literal lines to follow in a buffet when a buffet is two-sided?

Speaker 2 Okay, if a buffet is two-sided, and you can have equal access, is there such a thing and a need for a linear line to approach the buffet? And does any of the sides two-sided? Is it two lines?

Speaker 2 It's a lead to a middle? Oh, it's an island. So you can get on either side of it.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Because sometimes it's the same stuff in two lines that meet in the middle and go out.

Speaker 2 Or another caveat to this, yes.

Speaker 2 Are lines even necessary? Or two, right? You've already been one round. You've already done the entire thing.
Must you wait online to get to the specific food that you want for doubles?

Speaker 2 I think if you've already been there, you definitely have to wait in line. Yes.
Why, though? You're just getting one specific food. But not everyone has gotten their one specific food so far.

Speaker 2 So you have to wait till they all get their food and then you can get more food.

Speaker 2 in outside of the buffet world and outside of the bay buffet world you're right yeah inside the buffet world this is an equal opportunity zone you know like this is a buffet there's gonna be enough for all of us unless they specifically say that there's gonna be a limited amount that i can understand they're being in line for but they're gonna be hush puppies yeah they're gonna come back with more hush puppies they're gonna come back with more mac and chi there must be order or

Speaker 2 just be chaos there must be order I'm not saying you have to wait for everyone to finish, but you need to get back in line.

Speaker 2 See, this is the heart of this story because it comes down to is there a bigger crime

Speaker 2 cutting on seconds, though. We don't know.
I imagine because of his violence, it was first.

Speaker 2 You're talking about Fat Man was on his first. Yes.
So you're saying when the father broke into the line, cut in line in front of him with the daughter.

Speaker 2 The daughters cut in front, and he yelled at the daughters, and then he pointed his violence to their father because

Speaker 2 he was aware enough that he could not beat the daughters. You know,

Speaker 2 in a way, that makes him kind of classy.

Speaker 2 Because if you're going to be in a

Speaker 2 bokeh buffet, and you're going to, at least he could have hit the girls. Well, he could have.
He could have hit the girls. No, he can't.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying he should have.

Speaker 2 I'm saying he could have. Yes, no, if he felt the need, he physically could have made that bad choice and hit them.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And if I was manager of the buffet, I'd have to actually sit and listen to the man and say, well, they did cut. Now, I have to say, this isn't a Sizzler.
This isn't a golden corral. This is a wedding.

Speaker 2 So it kind of changes everything. You're acting like a lunatic at a wedding.

Speaker 2 And then, like, people are having fun, so they're more jokey. They might cut, more likely to cut, have some fun, especially young ladies having a good time.

Speaker 2 Who knows? One of them might have caught the bouquet. They're feeling lucky.

Speaker 2 You know? And this, you see, this man? You want to get in between him? Him and Prime Rip.

Speaker 2 I mean, first of all, that is, you're just saying, yeah. He is Prime Rip.
Yes, because I know the laws of the jungle. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. He eats first.
Absolutely. He's got to eat.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the little girls don't know. No.
No, they don't. They're just having a good time.
But can I say that this may be a good opportunity for them to learn? I mean, they did.

Speaker 2 This is a really good learning opportunity for them in this high-stakes buffet scenario because this guy took it to the proper level.

Speaker 2 Like, obviously, you might say, yes, you didn't need to physically beat the man, right? No. You didn't have to break plates

Speaker 2 to break plates of resent. Like, he was Bluto from Popeye.
Yeah. But he was like, he was like, I'm not going to hit these girls.
Where is their father? See?

Speaker 2 I feel like there was sense here. Maybe, you know what I think is that we don't know that there's old beef.
I mean,

Speaker 2 besides that, at the fucking buffet. Shots fired, Boca Lado Country Club,

Speaker 2 off of Boca Rio Road. Yeah, Lake Mouth Prime Rib Buffet?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you know, it's a golf course, you know, and there's a golf course across the street that we used to always break into and throw parties at.

Speaker 2 But yeah, during the reception, the defendant was allegedly in line in the Prime Rib carving station when two young girls cut in front of him, the Palm Beach Sheriff County's, and the rower got angry about being cut in front of the buffet and confronted the father and one of the girls.

Speaker 2 And then the father, to be honest, needs to best the other man in hand-to-hand combat for respect of his daughters.

Speaker 2 So, in a way, I feel like, yes, even at a wedding, that even makes this even more an essential human fight. He was cut.

Speaker 2 There, that is no one is saying this man was not cut. He's a victim here.
He, a type of victim.

Speaker 2 A type. Hey, I think that all of this story is like, if he hit the daughters, I'd be saying much different stuff.

Speaker 2 A worker said in a sworn statement that they saw the whole interaction from the start and corroborate the victim's account about why Mark became upset at being cut in line. He was cut in line.

Speaker 2 The witness then stated that the victim had turned away from Mark in an attempt to ignore him. And this is when Mark walked up to him with a plate and hit the victim in the head with the plate.

Speaker 2 Never turn your back on a giant, hungry bastard. Yes.
The witness confirmed that the plate shattered, and Mark pushed the victim and was holding him by the collar.

Speaker 2 The witness then stated that the surrounding people separated the two individuals, but then Mark attempted to walk back over to the victim. Yeah.
The witness said, we ain't done here yet.

Speaker 2 I still see you got my fucking short ramp.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they heard multiple plates shatter, but only one was used to hit the victim in the head and i want to say as a florida man this man this is a wedding he could have been in from out of town this might not be a floridian it could just happen in florida you actually you might be right yeah and that's why i think it's important before your weddings to solve a lot of your try to squash your stuff yeah right before you get in there and let it play out yeah also boca rio road you're gonna love this when i was a kid they found a van uh full of teenagers in the canal of boca rillo road why this is interesting is because they found the van, but apparently it was a bunch of kids that went missing in the 60s.

Speaker 2 And then a fisherman found the van.

Speaker 2 So they were dead in there? They were dead in there for like 40 years. That's awesome.
See, there you go.

Speaker 2 They all thought that they ran away and joined a cult, but they were just, they didn't get far from home and just like drove into the canal. That's awesome.
Wow. So that is.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's like, oh, that's like Mike Myers.
Was it the one where it's like all the maniacs on the bus? Oh, yeah, 10,000 maniacs. No, it was another movie.
It was another movie.

Speaker 2 I had a bunch of guys, crazy guys on a bus. Oh, I love a bus.
They died anyway. Well, we got to wrap this up.
We do have to get out of here. We got to wrap up today.

Speaker 2 You know, live every day knowing that you keep your head on the swivel at a buffet. Move it along, people.
Yeah, move it along. Dude, I love cut huge men at buffets.
We all love the buffet.

Speaker 2 Was violent, and he is obviously the problem here. But if you, I'm not blaming the victims, but don't cut.

Speaker 2 Love yourself and love the buffet environment by following the rules, but also move in a timely manner because then you can laugh your way back to your seat with your hush puppies, with your finely sliced roast beef, with your mac, with your mac and chi, because what you've done here is followed the rules and created a society, but you also chose your food in a timely manner that moved us all along.

Speaker 2 This isn't fucking a three-star Michine restaurant, okay? We don't need to peruse all of the stations. You can come back to it.
It's a buffet. You're going to want to do this in multiples.

Speaker 2 Yes, we have to. We have to go.
We have to go. We're interviewing Kane Pixels for our Patreon.
So go subscribe on Patreon and listen to that there. We're going to go to Redstone.

Speaker 2 We're going to go to twitch.tv/slash LPOTV and go to lesspodcast and left.com. Yeah, we're going to talk about the back room, so you can check it out there.
All right, you guys. Bye.
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