*PREVIEW* The Blue House Raid

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All of this while, you know, this second secret war erupted down the DMZ, the commander of the the un troops the awesomely named general charles bonesteel i third oh hell yeah

he knew the forces there were badly unprepared for any real action so he pitched the novel idea of building a physical barrier over the american sector of the dmz to stop fighting and infiltration which I know when we picture the DMZ in our heads today, we all know what it looks like, but back then it looked exactly what it was, which is like a frozen front line of an ongoing war rather than a hardened border.

And his idea was approved.

The government refused to give him funding for that barrier, though, because all of the funding was going to Vietnam.

So he personally begged LBJ for money.

And he also asked for like captains who were leaving Vietnam after their tour to be sent to South Korea rather than back to the U.S.

to create like, you know, give us someone who knows what they're doing.

So he got his money and the Americans start building the barrier.

Dozens of U.S.

and Korean soldiers are still being killed and fighting across the DMZ, and North Korea is still playing the raid over the border.

North Korea has problems of their own, of course, but their intelligence apparatus reached far enough into South Korea they knew of the struggles of the American garrison.

Did those translate to be like wary of the ROK forces at all?

Not even a little bit.

Like at no point of the North Koreans planning did they at all like have a bullet point where like the South Koreans might fuck us up.

They just assumed they wouldn't have to worry about them.

So they only planned for the Americans.

And while U.S.

forces struggled to find budget and men for their DMZ patrols, Unit 124 had been preparing.

Elements of the team had been mapping out the path they'd used across the DMZ into South Korea, and they settled on the approach of the American sector of the DMZ, not because of staffing or leadership issues, but for something much, much simpler.

The American sector was overgrown with trees and bushes that the American soldiers, maybe more evidence from their lack of leadership or just bad leadership in general, just never bothered to cut back so they could actually see from their positions.

Meanwhile, in Korean-patrolled sectors, they had, owing to frequent ambushes, cut back the cover and concealment because once you get rid of those ambushes, they're less likely to happen.

What an idea.

This is like the Sergeant Major's wet dream story about why you

cut the grass outside of battalion headquarters.

Tactical grass cutting.

I mean, after all, that's just Operation Paul Bunyan.

Among other things, yes.

Outside of that, Unit 124 had a full mock-up scale size of the Blue House built in North Korea, and they raided it multiple times per day.

Some sources said they did this for two years, but others said that you hadn't even been around that long.

But either way, they had been doing this for a long time and knew every corner of the house, and every single team of the commando section had a specific job to do.

And it was decided that the mission should go ahead in the dead of the Korean winter in January 1967.

And like we said, said, Korea gets cold as shit and colder still in the mountainous DMZ area.

And during the scouting missions, North Korean commandos saw that the American soldiers that were manning the DMZ section virtually never left the moderate warmth of their dugout to do their jobs and patrol their sector.

So they decided that is where they would target.

Yeah, they did a radio intercept and they just heard like a perfect unison of a thousand voices like the do you like jazz bee movie meme just going oh my tummy hurts

My feet hurt.

I'm cold.

I'm cold.

On the night of January 17th, 1967, a team of 31 commandos snuck up to the fence that General Bone Steel fought so hard to get funded and installed and simply cut right through it with a pair of bolt cutters without being noticed.

The fucking next time a guy called General Bone Steel is fighting a DL War is when he's recognizing his subordinates on Grinder in like 2014.

I mean, I gotta be honest with you, General, like they're sending General Bonesteel sounds like something that would give Balsa Doom a moment of pause, and yet it doesn't seem as though he's been particularly effective in this regard.

I come back to like the guy named General Bonesteel could be painted as some kind of Warhammer 40k character.

Yeah, 100%.

But if it was like the weird part of 40k lore that focuses on the Imperium not funding something correctly, so but as Tom, Tom alluded to, also, General Bonesteel could also be like a character used for the stage show during like the most recent tour for Scissor Sisters.

Joe didn't get that joke because he's heterosexual.

So, with that, the commandos, they ditched their uniforms and changed into street clothes to continue their march.

And it does make me think, fellas, what is your assassination squad drip look like?

They all packed street clothes, but like, you know,

I got to think what you're sneaking over.

I mean, for me, being from Michigan, our South Korea, I suppose, is Ohio.

That means I have to dress in a way that allows me to blend in to ohio which means i have to you know cross the toledo dmz smash out several of my teeth um immediately dress in uh like walmart denim an oio state shirt and uh uh i don't know what else um rob a payday loan place so you're dressed just just dressed up like meth head paul wall yeah yeah pretty much i was going i was going for oh state fan meth head also known as an ohio state fan all korean men over the age of 30 dress like they're either about to play golf or about to climb a mountain so like I think that you imagine that but 60s version of it like I think yeah that they're they're gonna they're gonna come as like dripped out Ajashi with you know with with a golf outfit but like the shoes seem far more suited to running and doing combat shit that's the one incongruity i'd really love the idea they they they're out of date so they come over the border dressed like i don't know like elvis yeah i mean

i'm going to assassinate the prison maul jesus christ

yeah these platform shoes suck for running through the forest i have four private suggestions i'm going to kill pok chong ye

the flames are getting higher i'm in a grave with a guy

we can't go all together

as north korean spies north korean spies

What is even crazier than getting over in the middle of the night without being found is that even the next morning, nobody manning the length of the DMZ bothered to walk the fence.

And thus, they gave the commando team hours of free reign, who are now running through the mountains, I assume not in Elvis platform shoes, through the border region on their way to Seoul, which for people who don't know is not far away from the border, about 35 miles.

It's very close.

It's extremely close, yeah.

After this, the men changed into uniforms of the Korean National Police.

So in case you're keeping track, that is second wardrobe change and continued their sprint into the woods, which from everything I've heard about these guys sounds like a gang of Korean Terminators.

They camped out for the night, having been in the process of infiltrating for about a day.

And then the next day, the Commandos were discovered by four brothers who hiked into the woods to cut some firewood.

At first, the Commandos attempted to pass themselves off as the cops they were dressed as.

They did speak perfectly accented South Korean dialect Korean, but the brothers didn't buy it.

The reason for this this are, for example, why the fuck is there just 30 cops chilling in the middle of the forest?

Like, this seems unnatural.

Sometimes you need to go out comping with 30 of your homies.

Yeah, exactly.

All of whom are cops.

Yeah,

there are 30 cops taking ayahuasca in the woods.

They're trying to conjure the pure spirit of spousal abuse.

They have to do it as a group.

And then as the brothers looked closer, they realized that the guy who was supposed to be the police commander had his rank sewn on upside upside down.

Like, oh, that's suspicious.

No men in Korea have been in the military.

Right.

There were still other problems.

While a large-scale infiltration like this hadn't happened before in the South due to constant fighting at the DMZ, the South Korean government had been cranking out like PSAs for weeks, warning regular Koreans to be on the lookout for possible North Korean infiltrators.

So pretty much immediately, the brothers were like, are y'all motherfuckers from North Korea?

This led to a debate between the commanders if they just need to kill these guys or not.

But they didn't.

The group decided the best thing that they could do was sit the brothers down and educate them about political theory.

Which, if I was with the brothers, I would immediately steal one of their guns and kill myself.

Like, I would commit suicide by cops so fast.

Committing Korean seppuku, just like cutting your stomach open with a giant tabuli.

Yeah, I love the idea that you just get you're getting abducted in the woods like it's handsomely incredible, and they just hit you with a leftist meme that's like 20,000 words in tiny font i would do everything in my power to get away from these people like could you just beat me or something and this went on for hours hours of this

and finally the commander of the commandos a guy named king jung un not that one promised the brothers look once our mission is done and the revolution comes to the south you'll be given glorious positions within the new people's government and if that wasn't promising enough kim then quickly drew up a contract to seal the deal.

They decided the brothers needed evidence that their word could be trusted.

So they just signed it with the promise that if you sign the contract and agree, we'll let you go.

And the brothers all sign the contract.

They promise that they will keep their mouths shut.

They thank the commandos for telling them about the glories Kim Il-sung thought.

And then the commandos all smile, thinking they have been successfully re-educated to the cause of communism.

And the four brothers immediately run to the nearest police station and stitch on all of them.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like,

please go arrest these dorks immediately.

World's fastest smash cut to Jappelle a la police.

I would probably look, those guys probably had a pretty shitty life.

You know, like, you know, they're not doing very well.

You could have just bribed them.

Just bribe the brothers.

Maybe they'll keep their mouths shut.

Instead, you would imprison them for hours and drove them nuts.

I didn't know this detail.

This is phenomenal.

Thank you for this joke.