520: The Whole Mufalata [Series Finale, Part I]

Right, here goes nothing.

See, C53.

Hey, Robot Man, you're okay.

I am.

Oh, thank God, God.

And I know where Bino is.

Whoa.

Cody owes me an email.

I mean,

I guess so.

Is that what you mean, C53?

No!

No!

That's absolutely not what I mean.

Also,

I got a couple of things I gotta work out here.

First off, I mean, I'm still grappling with the implications of having two darts, one of whom shot me.

And we are both so happy to see that you're okay.

Yeah, no, this is

a huge relief.

Yeah, so we were gonna call this Dar with the goatee Evil Dar, but then Evil Dar ended up being like, okay.

And so now we're just kind of like, what are we calling them?

Dar Zero?

Diet Dar?

Yeah, we're still working on that.

I've just been calling them both Dar, and that's confusing to everybody.

Nermit's been having

a great time.

A lot of conflicting feelings, a lot of emotions.

I don't know.

From Nermit over here.

We're all dealing with those.

We're all just talking.

So, yeah, it's evildar until we have something better.

Second question:

Where did you get this frame?

Oh, you like it?

Yeah, what do you think?

Yeah, I love it.

It's one of the rarest rocket frames in existence.

How did you get the country gentleman?

I've had it forever.

It was left on me by famous actor

Germain Baba Baba Bada Ba Bab.

Yeah, that was his last name.

My parents' favorite actor.

Wait, tell me his name again?

Jermaine.

Music to my.

Hargie, you know, we went to another galaxy and I was in a toaster.

Yeah.

Okay?

They forced me into a Berman frame.

Yeah.

I was a buck.

You didn't tell me this whole time?

Yeah, because the country gentlemen was left here on purpose.

Nobody wanted it, but the eyes are too intense.

Oh, I disagree.

These are amazing.

Smolder.

You know, C-53, when you mentioned the country gentleman a while back, I sort of pictured like a white seersucker suit or something, but this is more like.

He's like the squire of a country man or part of the land of gentry.

What?

Like out of the Jorn Austin novel or something like that.

How do you know some things and also nothing?

Hey, Jay, really?

Kicking up the reading?

I'm gonna wait.

Oh,

I got my hands stuck in my glove.

Oh, that's just that's a glove.

That's what a glove is.

That is a glove.

But AJ's right, like, it's got that ruffly shirt and a sort of nice little top hat.

Yeah, sign me up.

Does that cane retract?

It does indeed.

Look at that.

There's a certain sort of chimnatial kind of, I don't know, jauntiness to it that I kind of appreciate.

Allow me to use the proprietary Ronka Country Gentleman voice filter only available on the Country Gentleman hold

is this more to your liking?

What an esteemed bachelor you've become, C53.

Oh my Nip C's normal voice.

Wait,

hold on.

C53, I'm glad you're in a frame again.

I'm glad you're back to being a droid.

Did you say you know where Bino is?

Okay, so you all know about the Sea Captain?

I'm not nearly as much as we want to.

Well, I think of the sea captain.

Okay, I...

That's right.

We're time to get into the full thing if we want to repeat to Beano before Corbalvo does.

Oh, sorry to interrupt.

I'm going to pop in here with a quick cue.

Yes, yes.

The Dar in the back.

What's a Beano again?

Evildar.

Just.

You don't even know about Bino?

Also, yeah, I've been near the entire town.

Dart.

You gotta catch Evildar up on these things.

This is sort of base-level crew stuff.

Crew 101.

Absolutely.

I understand where y'all come from, but Bargie and I have a lot to catch up on.

I mean, I miss Brook Club.

Luckily, if you ask, what is a beat up?

I have a clip.

Oh, let's just check the hyperdrive first.

Yeah, we should double-check the b what's your battery level?

We're fine.

Now we know who's been haunting the amusement park.

It's been old man Chesterfield.

Oh!

And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you rotten beans and spaceships.

Give me back my rubber mask.

No.

He wants the rubber mask back?

I mean, the dig is up, right?

Bino, don't strike on him.

Beano!

Beeto, don't!

Bino, survive from him, Chester!

Bino is kama!

I'm not sure if that's a clip I would show Evil Gar

by way of sort of like, this is what Bino is.

Yeah, more questions than answers.

Yeah,

this is why I just explained that Bino is an all-powerful demi-rod who just happened to take the form of an answer from working.

Yep, that was much easier to understand than the clip.

Listen, when Captain Cameron and I were

sailing around the galaxy, we found a treasure map.

And while while I don't think about that day, for a number of reasons, while I was running my emergency memory recovery protocol, as my cube was being reassembled, I assume.

Yeah.

Yeah, retake.

Yeah, I mean, we, like,

blew on it, then we wrenched it out.

Carefully.

Yeah.

Very carefully.

Thanks, I guess.

Anyway, while everyone was taking such good care of my cube, I was forced to relive those moments.

And it's only just occurred to me.

The map was the directions to Chad's planet where Bino was.

Wait, you found a map to Chad's planet?

What?

How many decades ago was this?

Quite a few.

Could you catch up, old Dardar?

Just, you know, what's a Chad?

Where are we going?

Evildar, I gotta tell you.

AJ, AJ, did you make that picture book of all of our memories?

Just give it to Second Dar.

Oh, good call, Bargie.

Evildar, check out this huge illustrated book that AJ made that will catch you all up.

You read that while we talk to C53.

So this is my original memory of the map that I see back on Aquatus?

Mm-hmm.

It's coordinates in a star map.

Right, and this matchup with where we found Dino the first time we met him.

Okay.

But look at what I saw when we relived the memory.

Okay, this looks the same.

Oh, wait.

There's a quote from a Zima scroll on this one.

C53, why do you have two versions of this map in your memory?

An excellent question, Pleck, unless somebody's playing around with time.

Uh-uh, no.

AJ, just to hear him out.

And who do we know who can play with time?

Dame Wiggles.

Okay, she's dead.

Nermit!

Okay.

Oh, wait.

Core Balevorkin travel through time.

What if it's a trap?

Nermit, we're literally on our way to go probably get murdered by him.

Why would he need to set a trap for us?

Solid point.

Well, if it's trapped, we've called it.

Okay.

No, it's Bino himself.

No,

he's sending us a message.

Wait, but what is the message?

Look at the Zimaverse on the map!

The space between what's wrong and right is where you'll find me hiding waiting for you.

The space between wrong and right.

A riddle.

A riddle, Blake.

Of course.

Yes.

A riddle.

Chad asked us.

No, I hate to interrupt because this isn't in this little booklet I was given.

Is riddles like something we all do?

Is this a thing?

Evildar!

Dark, can you give us just five minutes to sort of suss this out and then we'll we're in the revelation stage right now, Evildar.

Well, excuse me for trying to feel included.

Wait, C-53, we can't just go to these coordinates.

There's nothing there.

We saw Chad's planet destroyed by a Clint warship.

Indeed, I'd be willing to bet any amount of Nermos that if I bring up this extrication chart,

the planet is back!

Oh my rod.

There it is.

We have to go.

We have to go find Bino

So just to be clear we're still not going to move a lot of Sakuna.

We're gonna go

get Bino first you don't think we need to get the first

Does he always turn this shade of pink when he gets upset?

The final confrontation draws inexorably closer and

closer.

Following a map to the Benacron from deep within the recesses of C-53's memory banks, our intrepid crew hurtles toward their destinies with everything on the line and nothing left in the tank.

Meanwhile, the whack mastermind Cor Balevor has assembled a cadre of shadowy nemeses to confront the unwitting crew.

The disgruntled Captain Cameron, a backup copy of Federated Alliance Protocol Droid C-53,

and a perfect clone of Nermit Bundaloy.

That's probably all of them, though, right?

Now, Seama Knight Pleck Deck Setter, Country Gentleman C-53,

Captain Darr, Security Officer Dar,

Super Soldier AJ2884, Musician Nermit Bundaloy, OG crewmate Justin Balwheat, and storied starship the Bargerian Jade, head into the deadly unknown to save the galaxy and the very fabric of the universe on surely their final

missions to civilization!

This is incredible.

This planet is completely unchanged.

We've got all of these wallless roofed enclosures.

We saw the planet explode.

This is insane.

It got anonymized by crits.

This is not how you described it here in this little guide, I have to say.

Yeah, he is.

He took some creative liberties in the pre-AJ.

Yeah.

Oh, wow, AJ, that's a terrible drawing.

That planet is a bean.

Justin, listen,

if you're going to insist on being a part of the original crew, you gotta go on missions with us.

That's part of the deal, buddy.

Alright.

He originally was on this point.

He should be just a moment.

Just around this corner.

We have no reason to think.

Oh, FDK.

Hello.

Hello.

It's us.

It's Fleck Deck Center, the crew of the Bargerian Jade, C-53, Lermit, Dar.

Who, what, and the what nows?

Uh, oh, I know what it is, Chad.

There was only one Dar before.

But

we actually went back and...

Listen, Chad.

How do you not remember us?

We're the people who answered your riddles.

We got the Benacron and we left the planet, and then you were destroyed.

What?

Well, we were destroyed and reconstituted, as we always are.

Plus, I've been here for so long, you think I remember every whatever you are and every whatever that thing is

and every whatever this is.

Oh, Justin, right?

How do you know Justin?

Oh, we have a mutual friend.

You guys know Doug?

No.

I mean, I don't.

Okay.

Who doesn't know?

Okay.

Anyhow, what are you doing here?

Are you here to see the relic?

I knew it.

Beto is here.

Oh my rod, C-53.

He was sending us a message.

Chad, yeah, we're here to get the relic again.

Can we just grab it from you real quick?

We'll be on our way.

We won't bother you.

Oh, well, first you'd have to answer my riddles, fool.

Okay,

Chad, we already did.

We already did that.

Oh, have you?

Yeah, you're the first group of people to try that one.

Oh, we already answered the riddles.

Just let us in.

I don't think so.

Yeah, probably.

Alright, go ahead.

Okay,

just for background, so I know how to calibrate the riddles.

How old are you?

Me?

Yeah, you.

I'm 29.

29.

Okay, forget that.

Now, here we go.

First riddle.

You are driving a spaceship.

Okay.

Four people get on, two people get off.

An alien gets on, two aliens get off.

Three aliens get on, two people get off.

How old is the driver of the spaceship?

29.

Well, look who's so smart.

Look at the genius.

AJ, no, he said he started this whole thing asking how old I was.

It's just

a starter riddle.

I've got a riddle before.

Oh, sure, you have.

A lot of people get the first one.

The second one, they're crying, they're calling their moms or dads or whatever kind of family they come from.

No judgments.

And he hoots and hollers.

Here we go.

A Frantak sits atop a roof.

Yes, no, we know, Chad.

Frantecs don't lay eggs.

What in the hell is happening?

No!

How did you guys get it two in a row?

I haven't even told you the entire.

We already told you.

We told you this already.

You guys got into my email or something?

No.

Chat.

Because I only share that password with Doug, and that's it.

And I thought I could trust Doug.

Why would you share your email password with anyone?

Or just the password?

Sometimes he has to check my email.

Look, it's a long story, and I'm happy to tell it.

Chat, listen, we've heard these rules before.

I can even prove it to you.

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice question.

Ooh, good question.

What?

That was your next riddle.

How to.

Okay, Doug is gonna get.

Doug is gonna get a talking too.

AJ, relax.

I don't trust Doug anymore.

Yeah, Justin, if I were you, I wouldn't trust Doug.

I wouldn't.

I don't know if any of you know this, but the relic is a slightly warm fiend.

Evil Dark.

That's what we've been talking about this entire time.

No, you've been talking about Beano this entire time.

One in the same.

Right.

I can't believe you guys are so good at riddles.

How did I never know this?

AJ.

Are there any more?

Is this it?

Here's another.

Here's one more.

You want to take this one, AJ?

Okay, okay.

Thank you for an HJ.

Okay, AJ.

This bad boy is unsolvable.

A Tellurian goes to a restaurant, okay?

Don't forget that part.

It's important.

He orders a Garfan sandwich, right?

The chef brings by a Garfon sandwich, okay?

The Tellurian takes one bite, okay?

Runs outside, jumps into infinite space, thereby killing himself.

Why?

Because he realized he'd eaten his friend.

Rod damn it!

AJ, ow!

How did you know that?

Oh, well, once I'm on a strike, team.

I don't want to.

No, AJ, you know, I don't actually.

This actually happened to you?

Yeah.

Who hasn't happened to?

Oh, boy.

Start with a pinky, see what happens.

Alright, well, you've answered my riddles.

What happens next?

Now we go get Bino and we're on our way.

If that's acceptable to you, Janet,

well, no, I mean, I've set up the criteria, you've met them, I feel obliged to allow you to do it, even though it's clear you've cheated in some way.

But is answering the same set of riddles again?

Here's a question for you: Is your mom answering the same set of riddles cheating?

Leave you with that.

You burnt!

Alright.

Yeah, so I'll just slide past you here and grab the old bean, I guess.

Well, I have no choice but to allow you back.

How do you know the relic is a bean?

Listen, Tad.

Listen, Chad, I know that you don't remember any of our interaction, but...

Us finding the Beanacron was sort of the most important thing that we've ever done.

It sort of became the basis of a lot of the rest of our adventures.

Oh, he doesn't care.

It's really, he just doesn't care.

It just walked off.

Yeah, it just walked away.

Hey, Doug.

Oh, whoa, Juffle the fuck.

Alright, let's go.

I just met these really weird people.

Oh, and Justin was there.

You know, Justin?

Of course, everybody knows Justin.

What's going on with the email, man?

I know that's really...

Doug!

No, I can- Don't pretend you're going through a tunnel, Doug.

I know you're not.

Why are you are you sharing my email?

Rod damn it.

God damn it.

Don't set trip.

Wait, Bino is on this counter.

counter.

Where's the box?

Where's Bino?

It's in my room.

What?

Justin,

can you bring Bino out here?

Justin, could you please get the box?

Bring it back out here.

But I'm literally like on nothing.

Why can't I just give us a gap?

It's an all-powerful deity, Justin.

Also, Justin, this thing is ancient.

One of the things my eye can do is carbon dating, and this box is...

Looks like about 30,000 years old.

Is that right?

Whoa.

Oh, hold on a second.

I've got an ad.

I've got to close.

It's for Beanbox.

Oh, yeah.

It's a monthly box subscription.

Yeah, let me just close it.

What do you see on the side here?

It's frightening.

Well, this is old English.

It's my deodorant.

I mean, folks,

naturally, the country gentleman is well-versed in any of the historic languages of the galaxy.

Sure, so landed gentry.

Let it be known that the relic inside this receptacle is blessed for all time by Rhodos the Sunlighter.

Who the jack is Rhodos the Sunlighter?

No, no, I'm sorry, that wasn't it.

Rhodos the Sunlighter, glory to those that bathe within his sacred light, woe be to those that fall within the cursed shadows outside of his divine radiance.

Wow, long inscription.

Yes, there's a lot of stuff.

That goes all the way over on the other side.

So, wait, this is the first time you guys have seen this, even though you've had it before?

I just went in and picked up the relic last time.

I wasn't paying that much attention to the box.

So, it's a retinal confirmation?

The right end of the box is a ret huh?

Now it is.

Got it.

Hey, hey, why are we all just talking around, okay?

We've been doing it for five years.

Talking around?

All you do is yak, yak, yippity yak.

We go on missions.

But right now, there's a box, and it needs to be opened.

Yet none of you are opening it.

All you are doing is talking.

Fair enough.

Before you

even open it, there is a box in front of you.

And you're not doing it.

You're right, Bargie.

Let's open it up.

Open the box because Beetle is in that box.

And we all know Beetle.

We all love Beetle.

Beetle owes me any more.

Beetle, I think, is in my top ten.

Okay, friends.

Bargie, now you're

still in pot kettle black.

Oh, you're opening it?

Yeah, it's open.

It's been open.

There it is.

140-some degrees, looks like.

Perfect.

That doesn't look like beano, though.

Well, no, he's in his vibrative state.

Wait, that's just a beard.

Well, it's a large, warm bead.

It's hot, Justin.

Yes.

Here, I'll get a glass of water.

Perfect.

Hey, everyone, I kind of think I know the answer to this question, but

where are they?

What do you think the Dars are doing?

What's the answer to the question?

Nothing.

No, no, no.

You know what?

Let's lose Vino.

Go on, go on.

Alright?

Oh,

they're just throwing a horse hat.

Wow, they're co-parenting.

I will say, Horse Hat has been loving this much attention.

We were like doing the Beano thing, but I totally can catch Horse Hat.

Guys, I can't.

I actually can't.

That's three barge.

Alright, in he goes.

Alright.

Alright.

Now we wait.

So he turns into a rod, like a demi-rod now, or

instantaneous.

Huh.

But we have the ultimate weapon now.

No,

I meant the bad.

No, I think AJ Mitpino.

Yeah.

Yeah, thank you, Bargy.

Well, I believe friendship is a weapon you use against the enemy.

Okay, alright, yeah.

Wow.

An awful lot of secundas.

Every time I'd be back on this planet, is that fortress even more imposing than it was the first time we were here?

Definitely.

I can't see the top.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's definitely got another level of spikes.

Yeah, yeah.

The battlement, sir.

Point your finger.

Well, Bargie,

we'll be back soon.

Yeah, yeah.

Well spoken, Bargie.

Before the big showdown.

Bargie, you know,

I don't think we say it enough.

Thank you for

being here for us.

Thank you for taking us everywhere we need to go.

You're the reason any of this has been possible.

We'd be lost without you, Bargie.

Bargie, you're our rock.

Save one.

Literally.

Our ride or die, because we'd be in just cold space without you.

Yep.

Everyone, get involved in this.

Bergie, I know I just joined the crew.

In a way.

Yeah.

But, uh.

I'm just so impressed that you were able to do all this while also wearing a ball gown.

Thank you.

Yeah, what do you think?

Wait, hold on, Party.

Why are you wearing a ball gown?

Oh, my alert just went off on my cow.

You gotta get going, girl.

I know, I gotta go.

Anyway, have fun with this little adventure you're doing.

Send me a postcard.

Have fun.

Oh, you guys didn't sink Fargi's cow.

No, what is what is on the cow?

Huge.

I bet I got my HMU team outside doing my HMNU.

Yeah, all right.

Best of luck.

What does HMU mean?

It's haul and makeup, because today is the Boboscars and Body

Bad By Night!

The Boboscars, it's tonight, you guys.

I don't know exactly why I've been invited.

I mean, the last thing I did was, I guess, a small play in another galaxy.

Galaxy.

Yep, Mars is probably not for that.

But they told me I have to come.

They told me it was mandatory.

And in this town, if something's mandatory, that means the thinking about you.

So I'm going.

Seriously, nobody else knew this was on the cow.

I was kind of going, wow, it's crazy that we've got two big things happening at the same time, but that's what the cow is for.

If there's one time for it not to be cool for you to just leave right now, it's right now.

I feel like this could lead to our deaths not having an escape.

Anyway, the bow scars are gonna be so much better to see if they're getting rid of all the the boring categories like that picture and sound design.

Oh, yeah, sound design, but I mean, like, what does that do?

Anyway, let me do a flip on a lava flow.

Whoa, cool.

Usually, when you do a flip, it makes a noise, but that was totally silent.

Anyway, sound design's for nerds.

Oh, but I heard that.

Gargie, does this mean we can't leave Horse Hat with you while we go do this dangerous

already suited up?

Wait, yep, Horset's gonna be holding my purse.

Look at at my Caprino.

Look at my Caprino, guys.

That is adorable.

I know.

Little Tuxino, it's so tiny.

I bet I could fit into that.

Well, Bargie, in case we don't get another chance.

Quite a gal.

My horse had.

Yeah, no, I mean

they should win an award just for looking that cute.

Well,

let's head in, I guess.

This place is still awesome.

Lava Crows are back, like, we're firing our all cylinders.

This looks like badass.

Explain the blockchain.

This underlies everything, bro.

Got rid of the people, bro.

JJ, put your gun.

Do not even

think think about it.

Careful what you caught.

You might get canceled.

Leave it glass one.

Bloody glass one.

Oh, no.

No.

Don't even think about it.

And the thing about it, so legal darn.

I need to understand that we all got to see lava crows the last time that we met Corvette for.

And if you tried to destroy them, they'll get more.

Oh, you've been here.

Yeah, I.

I mean, thank you for catching me up.

But obviously, Cor and I have a pre-existing relationship.

Hey, gang, is it weird that the front doors are like

wide open?

Oh, actually, AJ, I think it's sort of understandable.

I'm pretty sure Cora has sort of been assuming we would show up here at some point.

You got the bead?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm surprised you weren't as prepared as we're going to be.

Alright.

Oh, sorry, I kind of just instinctively took your hand.

Oh, no, it's fine.

If you need to hold my hand, you can hold my hand.

Well, gang,

we finally made it.

This is the end.

This is the the end of the road.

Well, you think this is the last thing we're gonna do together?

Um for a while.

Probably.

Really?

Oh, I thought you spent this road.

Wow, okay.

Literally true.

Hey, we might go on a trip or something at some point.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Crew.

Yeah, Papa.

Pep talk.

Pep talk down, Papa.

We're about to experience whackness to a degree none of us can comprehend, okay?

Keep your wits about you.

Remember,

we are here fighting for the fresh, okay?

We are united.

We are together.

I just want to say,

yeah, what?

We're united.

I just.

I love you guys.

That's all I want to say, okay?

Aw, fleck.

I love you too.

Oh, I mean, I knew I was about to say, but already?

Honestly, it just fell out, but I think I feel it.

That's big.

I love that.

I love her for you.

Oh, thank you.

Don't back away.

AJ, don't say

as you're backing away

your gun.

Oh, yeah, I love you too, Pop.

Of course, it goes without saying.

I love all you guys.

I love you all too, especially see who's pulling my second road case here.

As soon as we get inside the castle,

you're not going to collab with clone

Nermit.

It's not going to happen.

Nothing can stop Art.

All right, let's lock and load.

One, last,

done.

But if you shoot your blast, you're gonna have to lock and load again.

It's the last time you're gonna lock and load until you fire it a second time.

You say that every single time.

You say that every single time.

I saw you leave that case behind.

We're inside the castle, so it's gonna be your responsibility for me.

Whoa, C-33, I'm getting a reading in my eye that I've never seen before.

What are tachyon particles?

Time travel.

Oh boy.

Shit, is that Corvette?

Yes, yes, but but we gotta go with it.

You do not say male of that entrance, and you're confused about whether that was me or not.

I don't know everybody but a big-ass lava crow.

Stop!

Go crows, go back!

It's jumped!

It all got jumped!

Alright, head back inside.

Corbelvor.

We're not even gonna do it now, because tis it's all ruined as engine ruined a lot.

Well, why?

We

okay,

it's somewhere took it.

I see you have a nice little bruise stick there.

Listen, somebody stole my dingle hopper, and furthermore, it's not about the weapon, okay?

It's about what's in here, the self.

You wouldn't know anything about that because your torso is cybernetic.

Is he one of your best friends or all of that?

Yeah, well, no, I mean, yes, obviously, okay,

yeah, well,

did you work shopping that one for a second?

Okay, I'm just maybe you workshop this

collected all of those

now,

Uh, yeah.

No, Adrian, don't want to.

Check this out.

Check this out.

Check this out.

Right out of my mouth.

I knew he was gonna do this.

You infiltrated the crew and convinced them you were their friend.

Excellent.

Well,

they did infiltrate.

Yeah, I guess so.

Although, it does seem you are unable to dispatch any of them in advance.

Well, they did actually shoot C-53's head off.

So, yeah, blew it up.

Yeah, that almost killed him.

Oh, good.

Yeah, totally on purpose.

So sorry, I can't.

Carefully missed the cube.

Silence!

Moving on!

I have become so much more powerful than I have ever been.

You have never beheld a wielder of the world

such as I!

All have been brought to chaos and ruin!

All of core scheming, the plan is chaos?

No, no, Nermit, it's just like Two said, without Bino, the galaxy will fall into chaos.

That's exactly what's happening.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

How does that work?

Yeah, good question, actually, Dar.

The plan that each

Okay, that's what it is.

You can just drink them by popping ahead off.

Barbie!

Barbie!

I do this way!

Barbie, everybody!

What's that?

This is what we call the Red Cup.

It's where you see everybody else who took jobs that you were up for.

Bargie, hi.

Hi there.

Hello, hello, hi.

Bargie, it's me to do not quiz from Hollywood tonight.

How you doing?

I'm doing great.

How are you?

You know, I'm just happy to be here.

I'm surprised, to be honest.

Well, tell us, ship of the stars, what are your plans for this fabulous evening?

Well, what am I gonna do?

I'm just gonna exist.

Honestly, a sensive question.

Bargie, Pivot, Bargie, Pivot.

I was in another galaxy, which yes made many people believe I'm dead.

Believe me, my voicemail was filled with a lot of people saying what they wanted to say after I was dead.

What are you wearing?

I'm wearing Cheryl Bedeau's latest line from about 50 years ago.

Bargie, tell us about the child you're here.

Who's the Anjanu?

Who's the Anjanu?

I mean the jets and sentients and unsentients alike.

This is horse hat to a spin bait.

Now that starts with the ball.

A cloud of sand and I'm in for a horse hat.

a cloud is pinned up.

I wanted a tie and shoes

and a jacket and a bow

and underpants.

Oh, no, not you.

Not you.

March!

Alright.

Horsette, look away.

Horsette, look away.

Horset, I look like I'm not into it, but I am.

I love fans.

I love fans.

Did you hear that?

Shit off me.

Tatha, Tatha.

Thank you for your support.

All right, enough questions.

We have to go to the Baha'u'llah Store.

Up next is comedian Satchi Barn Cohn promoting his next film.

My wife.

My wife.

My wife.

My wife.

Corbalvor, you may think you've won, but we've got something you don't even know about.

We've returned to Chad's planet, we've procured

the Betacron!

The forces of fresh are going to win the day today, I tell you what.

You possess the beanicron, yes, which to your knowledge is the most powerful legumicron in this room.

Exactly.

Wait, sorry.

Uh, uh, sorry, what's a legumicron?

Well, I only mean to remind you of what I'm sure you've already learned: that the bean of

one part of the Bean Force.

The Bean Force, the assembled nine Lagumicrons of legend.

Oh, okay.

So, if I were to say, have already collected all eight of the remaining bean force and used Horse Hat's Blood to activate them,

then you would certainly say

I was more than a match for you.

Stream Venechron love one-dimensional particles.

Please, call me Garbon Golo.

Farm Grava.

Peanatrix.

Well,

another Peanatrix, cause you get two in the same shell.

No.

The Peanut Tricks go insane.

Other Peanut Tricks go insane.

Vintitula.

Lintitula.

See everything.

And be me.

Yeah, we all.

going to laugh.

Evil Dark, what's up?

I just put together that the Bean Force is a lot like the slightly warm bean that you all lovingly refer to as Beano.

You know about the Bean Force dar?

Yes.

Evildar!

Evil Dar, you could have thought of that.

Should we call Evildar Duck Dar?

To be honest, he talks a lot about his plans, so somehow I just tune him out.

So, wow, I really under-delivered.

You can't be mad at one of us, you have to be mad at both of us.

Is that true?

Not yet.

We want the introduction.

This is my executive assistant, Scram.

Scram is the reason that I was able to collect all of the 118 gems of Elementia

by which I can control the very molecular structure of the universe.

118 gems?

That seems like a lot.

We haven't even seen it.

And this is different from the Bean Force or this.

So the Bean Force controls time and space.

Yes.

The gems of Elementia control the elements themselves.

189

elements.

Evil Dar, you knew about this too.

Dar!

I know, Dar.

I...

You gotta step up a little bit here, Evil Dar.

You said you love Pleck.

Yeah, you told me you loved me.

Hold on, hold on.

Everybody, just hold on a second.

Hold on.

Listen, Lord, Balevor, you're not gonna confuse us with a bunch of lore we haven't heard about yet.

We've got Bino, and that's what matters, okay?

Abino and Freshness are on our side.

Well, of course, okay, I assume that you came here with only one member of the Bean Force and not a single gem, because you must have all ten of the orbs of Thrakis.

How many Thrakus orbs do you have?

Iricus Swords.

I got one here, and I got one.

No, I don't think I have to do it.

I got two swords for you right now.

First of all,

I should ask you, what are the chances that we sort of accidentally have in Orb of Thrakis?

I mean, if you want to run back to the ship and check, maybe there's one banging around in there, but it seems like he

okay.

Yeah, no, she's got she actually got an invite to the Bobos cars, so

good for one.

They have not a single arm master.

Which of the elemental beacons of Prometheia did you speak to?

Listen, no, Corn.

Not only have we never been to Prometheia, I don't think we've ever heard of it.

No, no.

I mean, the fact that you think Prometheus is just one location was already a huge loss.

Honestly, we are way back on our heels.

Well, if you had spoken to one of the beacons, you would know that, wouldn't you?

The beacons are people?

Yeah, beacons are people, and Prometheus not just one place.

Prometheia is at all six corners of the universe.

Hold that.

Six corners?

Yes, the six corners of the universe.

Wait, how many corners do you think the universe should have?

God, I thought it was infinite.

Should we go get some of that stuff and just zoom right back, or is it gonna

be able to leave, Master?

Oh, wait, the door that we came in?

What?

There's no guess.

Doors, no more.

No more.

No more.

Okay.

What?

Oh, Core.

I don't know much about orbs or or or Prometheus Prometheor

Prometheus you've convinced him you don't know

it's a six-directional liminality that contains the beacons you are this is all just honestly save your breath

How long have you been living in this galaxy?

I mean forget the beacons just like even a couple of the jams that I will mention I feel kind of like I feel crazy.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Because you guys have been a huge thorn in my side, and you don't know about one orb of Thrakis.

I'm not gonna lie.

I uh

I'm really hurt.

What?

I'm really hurt by what's happened here today.

I've been

I've been busting my ass.

Scram has been pulling 12-hour days.

Think nothing of it, Master.

It was not.

No, I know you think nothing of it because you are a rise and grind mother chucker, and I get that, but you shouldn't have to do that.

Like, yes, Scram is my best friend, and I know that's weird to say because there's an employee-employer relationship here, but truly, I would be lost without Scram, okay?

And Scram skipped a family reunion to clone and you know, double up and grab from time loops all of you, and you come here with your junk in your hands.

I'm sorry to say it.

I missed out on timeless memories, which was extremely whack.

If you can travel through time, you could have just traveled back to the family reunion.

Well, that's the plan after crunch time is over.

I'll cut open a hole in time and then we can go play coronal with Scram's amazing family.

Please welcome to the stage four-time deboskar nominee Lucky LaRue

and award presentation droid Presentotron 2500.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Thank you.

And sometimes, they don't go at all if the budget isn't there.

Pause for laughter.

Pause for laughter.

Luckily, these films all went.

And nominees for best Kantawa language film are.

Chantawa.

By Chantawa.

Yes, this way, Mr.

Him.

Follow me.

You're right here.

Now, one last question.

Where we're sitting right now is actually very good.

Usually, they put the very, very, very important people in the front.

As you can see, we're in the second row.

Well, you're in rows 2 through 95, and

the mezzanine would have collapsed if we put you up there.

Thank you.

Oh, Robin, baby!

Harry, I didn't know you'd be here.

You're looking hot tonight.

There can only be one winner in each category as well.

By Jentawa, Gentawa.

Once we announce, I shall self-destruct.

Me too, if I don't get a drink.

Pause the master.

Pause the master.

Yes, thank you.

And the winner is you open it up.

John Gentawa.

Wow.

Cutting down, baby.

And now, please welcome to the stage Lamour Lacrosse.

When my father, Lacrane Lacrosse, blazed across the Hollywood scene,

there was a cost to it to my family, my mother, myself.

But he was a legend, and so he got away with a lot of behavior that a lot of people wouldn't.

And it's the cost of fame.

The nominees for best animated short ah.

Toot, toot goes the boat.

Little Blinkies wild ride.

High seas with you and me.

Short Moana.

Balloons.

And the award goes to.

I'm fine now.

I'm in God and help

the award goes to

balloons

First of all I want to thank the Academy for this Bobotska win when we set out to make a

dude

when we started to make balloons

We wrote balloons with one goal which is

Well, it seems this heckler has ruined the most important night of my life, so I will say thank you and good night.

And now, please welcome Little Bill.

Hello, I'm Little Bill, and I'm terminally ill.

Sure, the cinema is entertainment, but it's also a powerful tool for illuminating important social issues.

The nominees for best product placement in a feature-length documentary are.

Colts to sack brand cold packs in a bothersome fact.

Uh, Miss Jane, Miss Jane.

It's almost time you come with us backstage.

It's time for the presentation.

Oh, out.

Okay.

Write this one.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

The bird JING is kind of good.

Hold on.

I'm just going to rip the stress loop.

What?

People knew there's something.

I knew something was going to happen.

I knew something's going to happen.

Sorry.

I like

inconvenience.

Where's the screen?

Do they even know it's X-Mars?

And the winner is

Bebops and the child dentist of Delanda Sam.

Well, Bleck, you and your friends certainly are disappointments.

Okay.

But, you know, just to try to kind of pick up the pieces here a little bit,

because I do want this to be sort of climactic.

Uh, perhaps your only hope is to kill me.

What?

Pleck Dex Setter.

Yes.

For all I know,

it is very likely that you have already destroyed all of the wactifacts containing shards of my soul.

Uh,

sorry, wax.

Uh, yes.

Yes, the wactifacts.

How do you

okay?

How many just tell me straight up, because I didn't say the number yet.

How many wactifacts are there?

There, every.

Oh, wait, no, you said plural, so it's more than one.

Just hold on.

The Wacktifacts containing Shards of Your Soul, obviously there are

18 of them.

So you better watch out.

How would that even work to have 18 Wactifacts?

How would that even work?

One, I'm still sticking to one.

Hey, hey guys, um, this probably sounds bad, but at a certain point, does Kor deserve to win?

Like, I

don't know.

Norman, I hate to say this.

I sort of think maybe he's already

won.

Master, they don't even realize that they still have a chance because all of them are together.

Scramp, wow.

Thank you for pointing that out to me.

Yeah, thank you, Scram.

That actually sounded pretty important.

Do I have a chance with both Dars?

That's not what's definitely not one.

be ignored.

Though you lie, the forces of freshness that have conspired to bring you together in opposition to me and my terrible whackness,

you are still,

and always shall be,

a threat of

though my great and terrible whackness has not yet seen to your demise,

there is a greater wackness still:

the whackness that lurks so obviously and clearly within your own failings.

What?

I know you said that.

Say it one more time.

I better not be around.

Follow me through.

Let you be rent asunder by your own rudeness, belligerence, unkindness, thoughtlessness, all the forces of being not that good to be around.

And I cast you forth

Unto your military.

You were excellent casting, Master.

Thank you.

You know, it's like, it's up to you to make sure that you're having a good time, right?

Yes, you can't rely on others to rise to your level.

No, exactly.

And actually, that's sort of what my therapist has been saying this time.

What about that?

Oh!

Oh, hi, Car!

Hey, Justin, how's it been?

Good to see you.

Nemesis time.

Honestly, I think this moves actually being better.

On Tuesday, it was just

going right from the cafeteria.

Yeah, I date a girp.

You guys, I just sent them to the nemesis rooms.

They found their way.

They're literally...

No, hold on.

It's all chucked up.

Okay.

Alright, there's a portal to ten minutes ago.

Go take your trays and please put them in the actual bins where the trays are supposed to go.

Don't just leave them on the table.

It's not just the kitchen kitchen staff are busy enough.

Do you mind if I forget about something?

Wouldn't it be whacker if we just left the trays on the table?

Wouldn't it be whacker if we just

thought, alright?

I don't come to you and tell you about how to be a bucket of bolts with a bunch of frayed wires hanging up your your ass, okay?

So don't come and talk to me about whackness.

Just to be clear, we we go back to the cafeteria just in this normal timeline and then go through the portal.

No, go through the portal and bring it no, but you bring your trays

15 minutes ago.

The trays both they will exist from now.

Okay, here's what you have to do.

I think we'll get to the bottom of this.

Okay, no, sir.

Hold on, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Take your trays.

Yes.

Go 15 minutes ago.

Go to the cafeteria.

Tell you both to not put their trays in the bin.

They have to bring their trays here, and that way there will be a 15-minute period where there is a quantum entangled quartet of trays.

but then the trays will come here and then go back.

Okay, but now you're sort of creating this situation where we have to be here, inconveniencing you.

Look, it's that's not what

no.

In the timeline you are going to create by going now like 13 minutes ago, let's get a hustle, gang.

I'm just gonna put the tray back.

I just gonna don't you put the tray back in this timeline.

I've already cut the portal open.

Okay, you go back with the tray.

Okay

to be continued on the next mission to Zix.

This is Sea Red IT5, credits and attributions joined, commencing outro protocol.

Pleck Deck Setter was played by Alden Ford.

C53 and Scram were played by Jeremy Benn.

Dar and Evil Dar were played by Ellie Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship and Justin Balweet were played by Lujan Zolfogari.

Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind.

EJ was played by Linston Noll.

Corps Balevor was played by special guest Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Brennan is the creator and GM for Dimension 20 and a college humor cast member.

He has taught and performed at the upright Citizens Brigade Brigade Theater, co-created the webcomic Strong Female Protagonist, and written dozens of LARPs for the Wayfinder Experience Summer Camp in upstate New York.

He recently started putting a little bit of cinnamon in his morning coffee, which he has described as a real game changer.

Brutal Master Chad was played by special guest Michael Cruz Kane.

Michael is a pubity and WGA winner.

In addition to being an Emmy loser, he has appeared on CBS, NBC, HBO, HBO, Max, Apple TV, and more as both a stand-up and an actor.

Soy Vitacrom was played by Jesse Thorne.

String VitaCrom was played by Molly Ringwald.

Garbonzulore was played by Mike Brebiglia.

Fava Grava was played by Ana Ferris.

The Pinatrices were played by Ira Glass and Sarah Koenig.

Lenticular was played by LeBar Burton.

Beanie Baby was played by Jodie Finn O'Connell.

The proprietary Ronka Country Gentleman Voice Filter was played by Jonathan Lloyd.

Bavoscar's crowd sounds by our season five finale spectacular live show audience.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn.

Sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Crawl Narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Rogerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Hey, it's John Moe.

Join me on Depression Mode for conversations on how mental health shapes our life.

This week, David Sederis with stories of his late father that he's finally willing to tell.

I think there's a difference between, you know, a good person and a good character.

Like, Hugh is a good character, my boyfriend Hugh.

My father was another one of those people.

He was a really good character, but he wasn't a good person.

Depressed Mode with John Moe, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement.

I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother, and me.

You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult, a depraved jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and, frankly, this is for the best, very little actionable advice.

But now as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kind of good.

Justin, Travis, and Griffin's witticisms are more refined, like a humor column in a fancy magazine.

And they hardly ever say Bazinga anymore.

So, after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows, why not join the McElroy Brothers every week for My Brother, My Brother and Me

MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and Culture.

Artist-owned, audience-supported.

Okay, fine.

So we have a map to Chad's Planet.

We've already been there.

We've already found Bino.

Bino's not there anymore.

Or is he?

He hates to play audience surrogate here, but could you catch up, old Dar Dar?

Just, you know, what's a chad?

Where are we going?

I gotta tell you.

I don't know why anyone would join in at this juncture.

I mean, but.

Yeah, I gotta say, Dar, if you're not on board at this point, I feel like you don't really.

I feel like maybe there's nothing we can say to get it.

Just go back.

Yeah, go back.

Just go back.

String bean and crown.

String Binacron.

Love.

One dimension.

I think I'm really much better on the Peanut tricks.

I think that just as a performer, it speaks more to kind of who I am.

But I'm going to give you another take of String Binacron just in case you need it.

Even though I feel like, I don't know, I feel like I just...

I don't understand the part from inside.

You know what I mean?

Like I just...

I don't know.

I mean...

Yeah.

Okay, let me just try again.

Since obviously I'm not somebody.

In fact, I would say I'm somebody who's against

one-dimensional particles.

I'm pretty much against them.

And so, to play someone who loves them,

I don't know.

I mean, it's not typecasting, so I appreciate that.

It's a stretch, is what I'm saying.