MBMBaM 787: Man Vs Kramer Vs Wild Vs Predator

Speaker 1 The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

Speaker 2 One, two, three, it's the start

Speaker 2 of something beautiful.

Speaker 2 A small acquaintance has blossomed.

Speaker 3 It's ripened into a precious friendship.

Speaker 3 I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Speaker 3 Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life,

Speaker 2 it feels love.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 My life,

Speaker 2 it's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 This is true.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and Advice Show for the Modern Era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
What's up, Trav Nation?

Speaker 2 I'm your middleest brother, Travis, big dog, Vroom Vroom McElroy.

Speaker 4 Hey, what's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, 30030 Media Luminary, Griffin McElroy. Jing, jing, jing, jing, you just hear those sleigh bells ringling.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's not even Halloween day.

Speaker 2 It's the candle. We're on the creep.
We're on the green

Speaker 4 Fucking Candle Knights Creep, baby. We're off.

Speaker 2 The greenness comes out, Trav. Think about it.

Speaker 2 But our births haven't even happened yet. I almost said my birthday, Justin.
Apologies. This is a foreign.

Speaker 4 No worries, brother. New Year's in there, but it's going to slot into an open space in the Candle Knights Creep because I'm already putting my holiday plans together, boys.

Speaker 2 Have you heard? Have you heard?

Speaker 4 Do you know where you're?

Speaker 2 Angel, what has the angel told you?

Speaker 4 The angel came down from the big star and he said, what's your ass doing on December 11th? I said, You cuss?

Speaker 2 He said, Fuck yeah, I cuss

Speaker 2 about this.

Speaker 4 He said, You know, Rowan Atkinson? I said, Yeah. And the angel that came down from the big star was like,

Speaker 4 He is completing his circuit of the traditional conflict structures in classical literature.

Speaker 2 Oh, he's going for the canon.

Speaker 4 He's going for the whole thing. He's got man versus man.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Love, actually.

Speaker 4 Man versus nature.

Speaker 2 man versus johnny english man versus himself being

Speaker 2 man versus society black adder man versus machine is rat race rat race yeah because that's a bunch of different yes yeah man versus b

Speaker 4 unlikely not a lot of people get hit that one but no i don't know

Speaker 2 just be movie and man versus b yeah Those are the only two.

Speaker 4 If, you know, Euripides or some of your great playwrights had done all the classics, they would have gotten to if they had lived longer life expectancy back then was like you were 15 years old and you beefed it if you made it longer they would have gotten to man vs.

Speaker 2 B.

Speaker 2 But now can I also just say because I invoked the name I watched an explainer video of B movie recently it makes me mad that we haven't talked about it more talking about but what are you talking about me Are you immortal of an explainer video about the B movie?

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 Mike's Mike makes some really good video content and he did a whole thing about the B movie. Cohen has completed the cannon.

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah, I'll focus up. Focus up.
Let me say it. The name.

Speaker 4 Man versus Baby. Man versus Baby.

Speaker 2 The last one.

Speaker 4 Man versus Baby. December 11th.

Speaker 2 Now, just to be clear, Griffin, it's not man versus B-A-E-B-E-E, right? It's not his girlfriend, the B.

Speaker 4 I heard, so, like, there's fucking nothing about this film out there.

Speaker 2 And it comes out in, like, five weeks.

Speaker 4 It comes out quite soon. Thank you.
Yes.

Speaker 4 I have heard just from some like, you know, set-side scuttlebutt that at the end of the movie, the baby bursts open and it was actually 200Bs that was like pranking him in a way.

Speaker 2 It was a Wicker Man. I haven't seen it.

Speaker 4 Sort of a Wickerman situation.

Speaker 2 The first one was a mini-series, wasn't it?

Speaker 4 This one is also a four-part 30-minute episode mini-series. Just make it a two-hour movie, guys.

Speaker 2 Give us a movie, baby. The master movie moves something I can put on my shelf.
Please.

Speaker 2 i can't have a cinema premiere where's the criterion collection you know yeah yeah i can't rent the cinemark at the huntington mall for if it doesn't get a theatrical release you know are you renting for a netflix special with the release date being in december yeah do you think that there was a time where they thought about man versus baby jesus

Speaker 4 so

Speaker 4 here's the thing There's nothing out about this movie. You can't find fucking anything.
There's two pictures from the set.

Speaker 2 They know what

Speaker 4 those dirty dogs are going to fucking do with that information. We'll take it and run with it.
They saw it.

Speaker 2 Grimma, can I just say, actually,

Speaker 2 I don't think there is anyone that would make good use of a lot of information about man versus baby.

Speaker 2 I agree with you there that it is probably a smart play that, like, no one who wants a lot of that information about it is going to make good use of that.

Speaker 5 No, for sure.

Speaker 4 Only ill intent at heart. Just us.
Just us, mostly. There's two photos.
One, he's walking down the street holding a baby.

Speaker 4 One, he's sitting on a couch and he's got his arms crossed and he's feeding two babies. So, how many babies is it, man versus baby?

Speaker 2 Because if it's more than one of the babies is on his side.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 He's teamed up. Whoever wins, we're cute.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 4 One man and a baby versus a different, meaner baby. This figure.
Bigger baby. Winter, December.

Speaker 2 Big boss baby. Boss baby.
He's oh, man. Man versus boss baby.

Speaker 4 We're watching it.

Speaker 4 There's no trailers out.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 4 There is a surplus of artificially inseminated trailers that have been created by robots and put on YouTube to trick everyone.

Speaker 4 This is what buoys my spirits in the wake of this tide of robots taking all of our jobs for real, though, this time.

Speaker 4 is that all the comments in all of these AI trailers are like, this is not my Trevor Bingley. This is AI slop.
Trevor Bingley would fucking never, never, Never.

Speaker 2 He doesn't have that Trevor Bingley joie de Viv.

Speaker 4 You made his eyes all big and nightmarish. That's not my pleasant Trevor Bingley.
Well-intentioned house sitter.

Speaker 2 Does he have baby?

Speaker 2 Probably babysits in this one. I want to see if we can reverse engineer.
Okay. Man versus baby.

Speaker 4 I saw one.

Speaker 4 Trailer that I think had some real information in it that said he was a school teacher this time around. How the f I saw man versus B.

Speaker 2 I don't want that

Speaker 2 anyone who saw that. That's also not baby related.
Like, babies don't go to school.

Speaker 4 Well, it's a school for babies. Just calm down.

Speaker 2 A school board must have ruled man versus inadmissible.

Speaker 4 It's a school for babies.

Speaker 2 A daycare.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he works at a daycare and there's a nativity play and no one comes to pick up the baby Jesus.

Speaker 2 So it is man versus baby Jesus.

Speaker 4 Yes, and he takes him to house sit at a different house. I'm saying this out loud.
This sounds also fake. There's no way.

Speaker 4 There's no way the series is he's a daycare teacher and he takes home a baby no one picked up while he's house sitting a fancy house.

Speaker 2 It's also it's been six years since I had a baby. Yeah.
Right. In the house.
I didn't have the baby. I didn't know you had a baby

Speaker 2 since I had a baby present in the home. Right.
I don't think parents take the baby to nativity practice and just say,

Speaker 2 I'll be back in two hours. Yeah, yeah.
Keep a good eye on this baby. Why else am I letting them use the baby then if I'm not getting some free babysitting out of it?

Speaker 2 Why are they, why am I letting them

Speaker 2 watch your phone while you sit in the pew?

Speaker 4 Yeah, because the answer to that, Justin, is on your drive back to the house to get in, you know, a good hour and 15 minutes of shitting and gaming and all that stuff.

Speaker 4 You could die in a car accident on the way back, and then Mr. Bean's going to have your baby in a stranger's house for the holidays.
Merry Christmas. It's Manvers.

Speaker 2 And you know it's not baby-proofed.

Speaker 4 You know the house isn't isn't baby-proof. He certainly isn't.

Speaker 2 Can't handle a can't handle a bee?

Speaker 4 Do you have any idea how much more shit

Speaker 4 a human child is going to rain down on you than a little tiny boops?

Speaker 2 Dumb. Literally.

Speaker 2 I think. You don't got diapers in that house.

Speaker 5 No way.

Speaker 2 I think the next one they do. Should be man versus it's a wonderful life.

Speaker 2 And Clarence visits him. And he's like, it should be better if I was never born.
I keep versing everybody yeah

Speaker 2 I'm so tired from versing everyone all the time once word got out that I was the man to verse people are calling me out on the street

Speaker 2 and then like Clarence shows up and he takes them to this hellscape that's just covered in bees yeah it's just a planet of bees yeah he's the one like in B movie like in B movie Trav I guess I didn't watch the explainer so I might miss some of the

Speaker 4 bees sue humanity yeah hey did you guys catch the trailer for Man versus Kramer versus Kramer?

Speaker 2 It looks like it's kind of like

Speaker 2 Man versus Kramer versus Predator is a fucking really, really good idea for a movie. Man versus Kramer versus Wild versus Predator.
Yes. Bear Grylls.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Is on our side.

Speaker 2 He's a baby. He's a baby.
He's a baby bear. Baby Bear Grills.
Baby Bear Grills. Cub Grylls.
Yeah, yeah. Cub Grylls is a baby.
He got dropped off at wilderness camp and never picked up.

Speaker 4 And so Trevor Bingley, Rowan Atkinson, has to take care of him.

Speaker 2 But the home he's taking care of him in, it's a married couple who are going through a hard time.

Speaker 4 Kramer vs. Kramer.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Kramer vs. Kramer.

Speaker 4 And then we'll get bees in there, too, of course.

Speaker 4 And we'll save bees for the last episode. Like,

Speaker 4 end of episode three, he finally got the baby to sleep.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh, finally time to relax.

Speaker 4 What's that? He hears? Ding-dong. Checks the nest cam.
Nothing there. santa it's no

Speaker 4 ding dong dang it and that and he's like oh nothing's there all right back to my nap and he puts his phone down and the camera zooms in on the phone where you don't didn't see anything before and a single bee climbs over the camera lens and everyone at home is like oh

Speaker 2 he's here the bee and the bee and the predator shows up hunting the bee Yes.

Speaker 4 Yes. And then Santa.
Go ahead, Juice.

Speaker 2 Get Santa in there. And then Santa.
I mean, it's like, if you guys put Santa in it,

Speaker 2 that's the thumbnail. You know what I mean? Like, then every Christmas.
Yeah. And the fun thing is, if we have Cub Girls the Baby, Trevor Bingley, Predator, B, Santa, Kramer, and Kramer.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We can pick one. We can match up, mix and match who's teaming up versus who in there.
Yeah. Because I'd love to see Santa and Predator team up against the B.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's where my Mikey fan fiction's.

Speaker 4 Of the Kramers, I think I'd go with Meryl Streep in our picture

Speaker 4 over Dusty Hoff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Michael Ritchie. Yeah.
Michael Richeson. Yeah, so we'll get Mikey Richie.

Speaker 4 Meryl got out of that one good. So we'll get her and the B and the Predator.

Speaker 4 Near the end?

Speaker 2 Freddy. Freddie can get pops up.
Freddy, yes. Yeah, Freddy's all right.

Speaker 4 But actually, and Travis, did you hear it? You sealed the joke. I heard it like, there can't be anything else on top.
Did you hear it?

Speaker 2 It was like, listen, listen, listen real close.

Speaker 4 The perfect kind of like salt bay you did on there. And then it was like, everybody take a step back from it.

Speaker 2 That's really good show. It's so rare that we recognize that in the moment.
You know what I mean? Normally we have to see it in the rear view. You know what I mean? But this time.

Speaker 2 It's nice to know that I was there to do the seal or as one might say killing blow.

Speaker 4 No, it's still a living document. This show is a living, it's in the Library of Congress.

Speaker 2 Hey, wow.

Speaker 4 In the bathroom, I keep living leaving USB drives of our show in the library of Congress bathroom.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sealed in a Ziploc baggie in the tank. Yep.

Speaker 2 I have been seeing this psychiatrist for a while. Hey, congratulations.
Oh, for my anxiety disorder. Sorry, I should have finished the whole thing.
Either way, congratulations.

Speaker 2 Congratulations, I love it.

Speaker 2 It's been pretty helpful. She's also really cool and recently suggested that I watch horror movies, going so far as to recommend me a few of her favorites.

Speaker 2 I've now watched 30 odd movies, and the issue is I don't really like the ones she's told me to watch.

Speaker 2 30?

Speaker 4 That's a lot of fucking movies, dude.

Speaker 2 Man, if somebody recommends me something, they got about 10 minutes.

Speaker 2 If they whiffed it, they've whiffed it for good, man.

Speaker 2 I found them super boring with okay scares, but a baffling plot. Is there a way I can let her know about this without turning her against me? Or do I have to lie to my psychiatrist?

Speaker 2 My next appointment is on Halloween. Please help.
That's from Madden by Mediocre Movies.

Speaker 2 I personally would caution you against lying because I think your psychiatrist needs to know exactly how twisted you are. Yes.
You know what I mean? Your psychiatrist, if they're going to get up there

Speaker 2 in the dark cobwebs and like dig around in the annals of your brain,

Speaker 2 they got to know that

Speaker 2 aren't the clowns up there. You know what I mean? Like, all the bad guy.
There's like bad ones. There's both Freddies.
There's four people.

Speaker 4 There's four people on this earth that I want to know what scares me. And

Speaker 4 my therapist would be one of them because it would be helpful in some of our work.

Speaker 2 I would also say the person most likely to know you are lying. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Now.

Speaker 5 Because they've studied your psyche.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they know you inside and out.

Speaker 4 It is an impressive feat to recommend someone 30 movies that they don't like.

Speaker 2 30? You're going to get one just out of the movie. One or two is going to hit.

Speaker 5 30, so many.

Speaker 4 So many movies to watch you don't like. And it's like, if someone recommends me two movies I don't like, I've stopped taking recommendations from that person.

Speaker 2 I don't think I've watched 30 movies this year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, no way.

Speaker 2 I would also find it concerning if my therapist who ostensibly has studied my psyche, attempting to understand my brain then went, I know 30 movies you'll love.

Speaker 4 Distressing for sure.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. Maybe the thing is,

Speaker 2 your psychiatrist is actually like kind of out of their depth because like once they see the

Speaker 2 once they kind of see the kind of sick and twisted shit that you get off on, maybe they would be. messed up too.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 You've been watching all this crazy, scary stuff.

Speaker 2 The psychiatrist can't help you because you want... Didn't you listen?

Speaker 2 Don't watch that stuff. That's evil.
It'll make evil bad. It'll make your brain bad.
I'm trying to walk you back. Trying to fix you.
Yeah, I know. Watch these boring movies, you sick fuck.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to detox your twisted mind. I'm trying to resensitize you, freak.

Speaker 2 I do think, well, I can satiate your bloodlust. No kidding.
Yeah. That was just a bunch of faces of death movies.

Speaker 2 You're getting... VHS mailed to you in unmarked packages man that's direct feat of executions from prisons you're a terrible person

Speaker 2 i think it's wild to me maybe i just have a a different flavor of anxiety yeah but the idea that my therapist would be like hey I know you're in here for worrying too much and getting too much tension and being too freaked out by things.

Speaker 2 Anyway, here's 30 scary movies you should watch.

Speaker 2 I mean, that makes sense. That's an expurgation of pity and fear.
It's one of the great uses of drama. I get that, but it's just, you got to get your rocks off, though, if it's going to work.

Speaker 2 You know, you got to get your

Speaker 2 skills in.

Speaker 4 They probably didn't include this, but I assume the therapist told them to like listen to Yakety Sacks while they were watching.

Speaker 2 Because if you could, there's like this whole theory,

Speaker 4 you know, an

Speaker 4 acceptance and commitment therapy where it's just like, take it and twist it and turn it.

Speaker 4 If you have something fucked up in your brain, like turn it all, turn it around and look at it a different way. And so playing like Yakety Sacks over,

Speaker 4 I don't know, some Troma flick, it changes it. It takes the teeth off of it.
It makes you brave.

Speaker 2 Guys have caught it.

Speaker 2 They don't specify the anxiety disorder, but if it's related to social anxiety, this is a test. Oh, fuck.
Oh, dang. Yeah, they gave you movies they knew you wouldn't like.
Why do all the great

Speaker 2 you can say it wasn't good to do?

Speaker 2 Why do all the great therapists have to use so many tricks? Yeah. You know what I mean? All the great therapists are so focused on different tricks and puzzles and ways they can catch you up.

Speaker 2 Well, did you watch King's speech when Jeffrey Rush is bullying the king to get him to stop stuttering or whatever? I didn't watch it, but I've seen the clip.

Speaker 2 And he's like yelling and he's like poking him in the eye or something. Yeah, fucking goodwill.
He's like, fuck, man, stop poking me in the eye. And he's like, didn't stutter, did you?

Speaker 4 Goodwill hunting when he's like, it's not your fault, kid. And then he starts to cry.
And when he gets close, Rob Williams farts on his hand and puts it close to his face.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 5 Classic. What did we teach?

Speaker 4 What are we teaching here?

Speaker 2 Math? I think that's what they're teaching in Google Hunting.

Speaker 4 They do teach a lot of math in Google Hunting.

Speaker 2 A lot of math.

Speaker 4 Every time you go back and watch that movie, you forget about all the math in it, huh?

Speaker 5 No, no, you do learn something new.

Speaker 2 They Trojan Robinson.

Speaker 4 Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 How many apples do I have? Do you like these apples or these apples?

Speaker 4 You need to walk in confidently and say,

Speaker 4 I've solved your puzzle. I fucking hated those shitty movies.
And you are a bad person for recommending all of them to because Travis is right. They want to make sure you can stand up.

Speaker 2 Travis is right.

Speaker 4 You have to stand up for yourself.

Speaker 2 Huh.

Speaker 4 30 bad movie recommendations.

Speaker 2 That's frame it as I've solved your test. You gave me these movies because you knew I wouldn't like them and see if I have the confidence to tell you.

Speaker 2 You've also now given them the out to say, yeah, that's exactly what it was. That's it.
That's it.

Speaker 2 I wonder if the therapist is like, okay, I'm hearing your feedback, Jeremy, but please, how many did you watch? Just tell me, how many?

Speaker 2 not 30 oh god

Speaker 2 wow have you not been listening to anything you watched 30 movies what are we doing in here Jeremy I recommended those a week ago you told me your people please was under control you watched 30 bad movies

Speaker 2 you swore to me

Speaker 2 you said it was getting better

Speaker 2 30 You watched one of them twice? What was the ones? See if you missed something. What was that Woobles movie with Kira Owis in it? What's wrong with you?

Speaker 2 This is just 30 Burger King commercials I looped together to make an 80-minute movie. Of course it was sporing.

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 4 Justin, we got to talk about.

Speaker 2 How did you find a director's cut of the Burger King loop movie?

Speaker 4 Justin, we got to talk about this crazy fucking lumpy ass gourd you got going on behind you.

Speaker 2 It's a beautiful gourd.

Speaker 2 That is a biblically accurate gourd.

Speaker 4 it's an octopus monster that got all dried up

Speaker 2 bring him in beauty blog that nasty fucking gourd cooper grabbed grab got this cat for me at floyd's that's uh crazy man i thought it was i thought it was some ears of corn you had glued together in a no man that's a single vegetable or fruit it's this i don't know if this

Speaker 2 either These sometimes look like a banana sometimes, or this is one of the most important and powerful gourds ever on on the internet it's an

Speaker 2 I don't know yeah this is either a huge viral thing that everybody's wild about and you're seeing this everywhere on your FYP yeah or this is a nothing burger and I still appreciate it because my daughter thought of me when she got this for me listen my daughter's never gotten me a gourd my whole life Listeners at home, it looks kind of like a small pumpkin that a big fat scorpion climbed on top of and then like kind of gooshed all over.

Speaker 2 It kind of looks looks like a banana.

Speaker 4 Like a banana that someone fucked into a tiny pumpkin, and then they got banana lumps everywhere.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Get it close to the camera. I know that you're not used to this wide angle, but get it up on get.
I'm getting.

Speaker 2 I'm glad we're a video forward podcast now.

Speaker 2 I don't know how long it'll last. I don't, I was thinking about it.
Should I lacquer it? Yeah. Lacquer it, right? Lacquer that.

Speaker 4 Lacquer that gourd.

Speaker 2 That'd be cool.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to get up from my chair, so that's the best I can get.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Yeah, you're just holding that gourd for the rest of the recording.

Speaker 2 Nope. Regording.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bazinga.

Speaker 2 All right. You guys want another question? Please.
Yes. All right.
Good. Allow me.

Speaker 2 My wife came home yesterday and said that her work Slack channel posted a reminder to all the staff to bring back any forks they may have accidentally taken home with them.

Speaker 2 She said she thought it was weird that anyone would take all the forks with them.

Speaker 2 I had to tell her that she was, in fact, the fork thief and that I had been noticing them show up in our lunch bags that she was bringing home with her.

Speaker 2 I've been watching them and putting them away with the rest of our dishes, not thinking much about it.

Speaker 2 Brothers, we've collected over a dozen forks now, and we're not sure how to get them back into the office without anyone noticing. How do we return them?

Speaker 2 That's fork thief asking for forgiveness in Frederick.

Speaker 4 I feel like I can walk through the mind of this individual and look at the series of small, hidden choices they were making to themselves of whether or not to confront their loved one about this fork stealing behavior and saying, no, I will accommodate it and I will, in fact, be complicit in it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're fencing it. He was fencing the forks.
You're literally. You're laundering him.

Speaker 5 You are laundering the forks.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. You are.

Speaker 2 I mean, literally. I mean, you're putting him in a machine and then they come out yours? I don't think so.
That's not happening.

Speaker 2 I guess I'm learning people.

Speaker 2 Most people are a lot less particular about their silverware than I am because if I put one of a fork in my mouth that isn't one of my normal shoulders, I'm going to absolutely not be having a good time.

Speaker 5 I'm pretty particular about those.

Speaker 2 I like a number of tines, I like some

Speaker 2 tight tine spacing, I like a good hand feel. If somebody's bringing in some scrouty row fork from Nowhere's Burg, Sean got three for a dollar at the Dollar General, no thank you.
No thank you.

Speaker 2 Take that back to working.

Speaker 2 Aesthetically, Justin. What? You've been putting these away in the drawer with your other forks.

Speaker 2 When you open that drawer and you look into the the fork slot and you see these weird don't fit the shape don't stack

Speaker 2 tell me the slots that you guys have what are the slots in your silver little fork big spoon little spoon butter knife travis that's fucking amazing random that's good and then random slot with like some plastic like reusable straws and uh some chopsticks and etc

Speaker 4 i think you can measure how much you've given up by how you sort the silverware drawer and at the bottom of the list is probably just like big old bucket you throw it all in but I'm I think I'm probably close to the bottom of the list because we do butter knife but some steak action will slide in there from time to time

Speaker 4 big spoon little spoon in the same drawer big fork little fork in the same drawer and then run for straws chopsticks etc

Speaker 2 Okay, first of all, piece by piece here, Griffin. You put the steak knife saying with the butter knives? Oh, Justin's camera got too hot from the thing he said.

Speaker 2 Why does that happen now it's insane it's are you it's not that it's not that wild it's a it's a camera and it gets hot because it's been on for a while and then it turns off every time you act like it's like cletus the slack jawed yokel it's just a warm camera griffin you gotta call justin could you at least turn your camera feet on so i'm not looking at color wise no not without standing up i can't griffin you put the steak knights in with the butter knife what happens when you reach in to get a butter knife and some slicy action happens How much fucking

Speaker 4 first of all, they all go in kind of like blade first, handle, hand, ass up, ass up, up, blade down. That's the way we stack our silverware.
I'm not going to fucking

Speaker 2 toss them. So you reach in to grab a butter knife, you come away with a steak knife, and then you have to put that down and pick up a butter knife.
Now you've had two trips, two trips.

Speaker 4 I mean, all my steak knives have, you know, this fine elk bone.

Speaker 2 If I don't get the thing I want right out of the drawer, I'm so bothered.

Speaker 4 I can, and yeah, but I know what the difference is. I can tell by just the touch of it of what is a butter knife and what is a steak knife.
I don't need to have it.

Speaker 2 Why are you touching the knife? Like, think about it, though. That's dangerous.
To get it and use it. What are you talking about? Dangerous.
What have you poked your finger?

Speaker 2 How small is your

Speaker 2 motor?

Speaker 4 You guys genuinely do sound a little bit like my mother-in-law right now, who does every time I'm in the kitchen, usually during Thanksgiving, cutting something, saying, ooh, careful, that's knife looks.

Speaker 4 And it is true that the first time that they came over Thanksgiving, I cut my finger so badly. I cut it so, so badly.
And so I haven't established a great track record.

Speaker 4 But I'm good with knives, generally speaking. I'm not going to cut myself reaching into the butter knife.

Speaker 2 When you mix your spoons, let's get to spoons, Griffin.

Speaker 2 The fold, depth, and size.

Speaker 4 I feel the same way. It's different.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I look at it. Here's what I do.
I look down in the drawer and I look at the spoons. I say, there's a small one.
I would like that for series.

Speaker 2 But they don't stack correctly. But they don't stack correctly.
But it does beg the question, Griffin.

Speaker 2 If you are already doing this, if you're looking at spoons and deciding which spoon you want, why don't you just pile the spoons and the forks together then?

Speaker 4 Well, because

Speaker 4 damn, you're right. I'm no better.

Speaker 2 You're not. You're an animal.
You live in a society. That's fine, Griffin.
You got to claw back out. All right.
I got you.

Speaker 2 Maybe today try separating them and just take a moment to appreciate the step you've taken.

Speaker 4 Is it okay to put chopsticks and straws together?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I put a big bag of chopsticks, straws, popsicle molds, trash, you know.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It also helps Griffin if the chopsticks can fit into one of the straws that you can just sheave it like a blue guard into some foam.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's actually really important.

Speaker 4 The government should pay for you to move back into your own house every year. Because I bet I would do so much of a better job this time, like knowing where shit should go.

Speaker 2 Because you've lived there for a long time.

Speaker 4 Because I've lived there for like a long time you get mad at yourself all the time like why did you do this moving sucks and it's so expensive but if the government paid for me to do it once

Speaker 2 now that i'm good at it i'd kick ass and the government loves paying for stuff right now well no paying for everything

Speaker 4 you have to get political and it's like yeah like i know they're not going to do it is obviously a fancy dreamland Like we say a lot of bullshit on this show.

Speaker 4 Like Rowan Atkinson is starring in a four-part mini-series sequel to Man vs. B called Man vs.
Baby. Like, we make shit up on this show, like, all the time.
And we play with it.

Speaker 2 We play with it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Everything I've ever said on this show is 100% true.

Speaker 5 Perfect. That's great.

Speaker 2 Good news. Just balance it out.
Let's take a break.

Speaker 2 You know how normally

Speaker 2 Sundays are for humans? Yeah. Not anymore.

Speaker 2 Now they've come out with a brand new product, Sundays for Dogs. This is the day of the week.
Wait, no, I'm looking here and I'm looking at the bag of food they sent me. It's dog food.

Speaker 2 It's not a day of the week.

Speaker 5 It's dog food.

Speaker 4 Sundays for dogs is still a kick-ass, like, really strong name. I would be honored to have that on the face of a product that I had created.

Speaker 2 I did break down weekends for my kids that Saturdays are datter days, which is like, like, could mean I have things I need to take care of, like organizing the garage or whatever.

Speaker 2 Or it could be like, hey, you're going to hang out with dad today. And then Sundays are fun days where we usually go somewhere that, you know, like a museum or Fridays for the

Speaker 2 freaks. Where either they'll have fun or they'll stay quiet while you have fun.

Speaker 4 Exactly.

Speaker 2 Yep. Mixes and matches.
It's a beautiful system.

Speaker 4 Got to move that now, though, because Sundays for dogs.

Speaker 2 Yes, Sundays for dogs. You know, normally you can either have fresh or healthy.
With Sundays for dogs, you have fresh and healthy. They sent us a bag.

Speaker 2 And one, I'll tell you this, both of my pups, they got sensitive tongue-tones. But we've been using Sundays for dogs as treats for Lily, our big old dog, and she yummies that shit up.
She loves it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. She's finally listening to me for the first time ever.

Speaker 4 She finally likes Travis. It's amazing.
She likes me.

Speaker 2 Sundays is fresh, air-dried dog food made from great ingredients.

Speaker 2 The recipes are customized based on the needs of your dogs its size breeds allergies activity levels and more you don't need to thaw it there's a lot of dog foods now that like you find in the refrigerator at the pet store or it comes like frozen you don't got to do that and you can make the switch to sundays by right now going to sundaysfordogs.com slash my brother to get 50 off your first order or you can use code my brother at checkout that's 50 off your first order at

Speaker 2 for dogs.com slash my brother. Sundaysfordogs.com slash my brother or use code my brother at checkout woof wolf big dog approved

Speaker 2 griffin andrew mcElroy all right my name is peter riddles i'm an agent to the stars i know you falling on hard times and i got good news for you which which hard times

Speaker 2 i didn't know that you falled on hard times griffin which kind of hard times i've fallen on a few different types of hard times struggling to pick up work lately His brothers can't get on his coattails anymore.

Speaker 2 It's been, it's sad, Travis. He's reduced.
He actually wrote a book, if you can believe it. It's getting pretty.

Speaker 2 Was it like a novel? He had to write a book. He had to write a book.
But listen, I'm going to turn things around for you, baby, because I have

Speaker 2 been learning the web. And I'm going to be charging you an absolute premium to make a website for you because I've taken the time to make myself into an expert, Griffin.
So for very...

Speaker 2 All right, what was your name again, Agent Man? Peter Squarespace is This is my name and I'm going to guess. Are you sure that's the name you said at the start? Said Peter Reynolds.

Speaker 2 Remnants?

Speaker 2 With an M?

Speaker 4 Pete, which one is it?

Speaker 2 Not Reynolds.

Speaker 4 No, obviously not Remnolds.

Speaker 2 Certainly not Reynolds.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So what did you need me to

Speaker 5 do, Pete?

Speaker 2 I'm going to get you a website, baby. And you got to pay me a bunch of money because because

Speaker 2 I got a big team of experts and they can let you do whatever you want with a website, Griffin. You're going to have to pay me a huge premium because our websites that we build, they can do anything.

Speaker 2 You can sell stuff with these. You can

Speaker 2 over here real quick.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you keep going, Peter.

Speaker 2 You're going to miss out on the deal. Okay.

Speaker 2 What's up, Griffin? Griffin, I think that this Remnants guy is maybe trying to take you to the cleaners because you can do all that with Squarespace.

Speaker 2 You don't need Remnants. He did say his name was Peter Squarespace.
Wait, wait, wait. I don't want want to interrupt, but we got we got world-class designers.
Hold on, that was crazy.

Speaker 2 Getting a call from another, another client. Sorry, I got another guy coming in.
Hold on, really?

Speaker 4 That's your ringtone for Square.

Speaker 2 No, Griffin's dragging his feet. I don't know.
Maybe I'll have room for you because Griffin's. I'm dragging his feet.

Speaker 4 I know for sure that's Sydney.

Speaker 2 Do what? Just because the ringtone is on the wings of love, that's got to be my wife. You're ridiculous.
You're married. This is Sydney too? Uh-oh.
Peter Tone

Speaker 2 and Justin Macrebs. Sydney 2, the sequel to Sydney.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, listen, I have world-class designers designers that have made templates for me only,

Speaker 2 and I can let you use them for an exorbitant fee. Okay.
Go ahead with what you were saying. Sorry.
First of all,

Speaker 4 the book that I'm writing is The Stowaway. I've written it.

Speaker 4 It's coming out next year. You can pre-order it at bit.ly slash Griffinstowaway.
Really excited for that.

Speaker 2 Choose Your Own Adventure experience.

Speaker 4 It's a Choose Your Own Adventure experience.

Speaker 5 Penguin. This is why you're never going anywhere.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Penguin Random House made the website for that one.

Speaker 4 Did not have the opportunity to whip one up. But if I did, Mr.
Rimnolds,

Speaker 4 I would use Squarespace and not whatever bogus bullshit you're trying to sling my fucking way, dude. I've got you dead to rights in my sites, and I know that it's not right what you're doing.

Speaker 2 So don't fall for Peter Rimnold's predatory practices. Instead, head to squarespace.com/slash my brother for a free trial.

Speaker 2 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MyBrother to save 10% off your first first purchase of a website or domain.

Speaker 4 Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like.

Speaker 4 That's hard to sell in a promo like this, so we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take it away, real Billy Joel!

Speaker 3 Diddy Rock's been on Lake Sign, Worst and Shire, Circle Time, Sega Drink Castes a Salad Tower of Anoid, Keepy Upping Time Capsules, Wayne's World, Cheese Bulls, Wallace, Stevens, Donkey Kong, Fun Size, Almond Charged.

Speaker 3 They didn't start the podcast.

Speaker 2 Except that's not true.

Speaker 3 They didn't want to.

Speaker 3 They didn't start the podcast.

Speaker 3 No, they actually did. That was in fact a fib.

Speaker 4 Listen to Wonderful every Wednesday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, Real Billy Joel.

Speaker 2 No problem, Griffin.

Speaker 2 What's more action-packed than prestige television?

Speaker 6 With more continuity than comic books?

Speaker 2 And more reality than reality television?

Speaker 2 It's professional wrestling.

Speaker 2 And to better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment, you need the Tits and Fights podcast.

Speaker 6 This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic masculinity, and just the right amount of butts, cats, and spandex.

Speaker 6 Listen to Tits and Fights every Saturday on maximum fun.

Speaker 2 I never know if Justin's waiting for one of us to talk, so you can interrupt it with a little bit of a.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 And so, like, sometimes I just like to do a gentle.

Speaker 2 I want a munch. Squad.

Speaker 2 I want you, munch. Squad.

Speaker 2 Welcome, Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast profiling the latest, greatest, and brand eating.

Speaker 2 And finally, someone's doing something about ELF.

Speaker 2 Guys, ELF?

Speaker 2 Scooter's Coffee.

Speaker 2 This is the first press release. That's not a real place.
This is a first press release I've ever had that is also adventure. Cool.
So I want you guys to experience it.

Speaker 4 Is there anything we should know to be ready for the adventure?

Speaker 2 Just imagine it in your mind's eye, I guess. To experience the adventure.

Speaker 2 At Scooter's Coffee, Smiling is our favorite. Scooter's Coffee has partnered with

Speaker 2 those wizards over at Warner Brothers Discovery Global Consumer Products.

Speaker 2 It doesn't love to say that. It doesn't say that sentence.
What? The wizards at.

Speaker 2 No, I added wizards, but it does say has partnered with Warner Brothers Discovery Global Consumer Products. Man, Globochem Corp.

Speaker 4 Fuck, man.

Speaker 2 Happy holidays from Globochem. To bring out smiles and holiday cheer to coffee drive-thrus far and near.

Speaker 2 The holiday menu at Scooter's Coffee is filled with magic and sweet surprises inspired by New Line Cinema's film Elf.

Speaker 2 Which is at least 15 years old.

Speaker 4 Which is at least 600,000 years old.

Speaker 2 Throughout the holiday season, you've got drinks and food items that feature maple, peppermint, and cherry flavors that's inspired by the holiday classic film.

Speaker 2 Each drink comes with served in a cup, featuring guys, designs inspired by Buddy the Elf and Jovi's North Pole looks.

Speaker 2 And there's a steek, there's a sticker featuring a friendly face for the North Pole.

Speaker 4 Can you give me the original take on that?

Speaker 2 It's a steeker.

Speaker 2 It's a steaker with a friendly face from the North Pole. Now, they don't go so far as to say it's Santa, but I'll be fucked if it's not Santa.
It's trademarked.

Speaker 2 It's a steaker, but they can't say steeker, a Santa steeker. Collect them all.
Collect all the wheel fees.

Speaker 2 Mini stores will also feature holiday lighting and decor inspired by Buddy Gilles journey to New York City to find his father. Shit, yeah.

Speaker 4 Save his father would be better.

Speaker 2 Cherry? Second.

Speaker 2 I love that they put in the press release. Check this, folks.
We're doing something new and different this holiday season.

Speaker 4 Our store, holiday decoration. Trees and shit.
Garland. We're going to have lights.

Speaker 2 I really like the version of this journey where the sea serpent that greets buddy is played by in the TV animated special.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you guys know this, but the sea serpent that says goodbye to buddy is voiced by one Matt Lauer, a real black mark on an otherwise pristine.

Speaker 4 Delightful film, yeah.

Speaker 2 A monster playing a monster. Fantastic.
Hey, the candy cane forest, mocha.

Speaker 2 Hot or ice blended features our world-class espresso combined with decadent mocha and peppermint flavors, a mocha drizzle, and topped with whipped cream, more mocha drizzle and peppermint chips. Wait,

Speaker 2 that's too much mocha drizzle. That's a lot.

Speaker 5 That's a mocha storm.

Speaker 2 Why do I need to choose

Speaker 4 two strata of mocha drizzle?

Speaker 2 No matter which peppermint option you choose, we're bringing the candy cane for us to you.

Speaker 2 Now

Speaker 2 we're going to go through the sea of swirly twirly gumdrops and have a swirly twirly sugar cookie latte. That's hot, iced, or blended.
Well, now, hold on.

Speaker 2 A sugar cookie is not a gum drop.

Speaker 5 Close to a green. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They're two wildly different sweet universes.

Speaker 2 Everybody hates gumdrops and they're all busted down flavors. There's good.
If you want to build with them in toothmakes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that is good. That's the only reason they keep making them.
That's the reason only Michaels sells gumdrops because they're only for crafts.

Speaker 5 Have we talked about it?

Speaker 4 It feels like this sounds like this sounds like the kind of thing we've definitely talked about before, but is there a gingerbread house eating contest that happens after the gingerbread house like creation contest?

Speaker 4 Because I would love to see someone try to pound down more than like a half dozen gumdrops.

Speaker 2 You know what happens to the gingerbread houses that Disney World makes, right? What? They become houses for bees.

Speaker 4 I guess, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 2 what they do is they take them out and they become houses for bees.

Speaker 4 Okay, you can't just say they become houses for bees. That is nature reasonable.

Speaker 2 I don't know how much clearer here I'm. Here's what I'm saying.
They chuck them out there. Where? Alligators, where the alligators and mosquitoes are.
They chuck them out there.

Speaker 2 And then they bring a bunch of bees and they say, fucking go for it. We got a new queen here, and she loves this gingerbread house, and this is her gingerbread castle.

Speaker 2 And maybe we'll name her Anna and glue a little wig to her or whatever. But here's the point is you guys live in this fucking house now.
Eat it up. That's that's

Speaker 4 that sucks for them, man. That's a bad.

Speaker 2 Are you kidding? It sounds pretty fucking good.

Speaker 4 That sounds pretty fucking except it's like, oh, guys, it's wintertime and our house is going to happen. We eat it all because it's sweet candy consumption.

Speaker 2 It's wintertime in Florida and California, Griffin. Don't get on your high horse.
Yeah, it's what, 60? 60 in the afternoon? Come on.

Speaker 2 Also, I want to say, here's my pitch for a gingerbread house eating competition. It's not how much or how fast.

Speaker 2 It is, in fact, how long do you think you can wait and then still be able to consume driest. Yeah.
So it's hardest. I'm going to wait.
But if you wait too long

Speaker 2 and then you go to eat it and you're like, actually, this is no longer consumable, You're disqualified.

Speaker 4 I have to imagine that there is, they make space for like the big gulp full of water that they just dunk, dunk them all in, get it soft and gulletable like they do in the hot dog one.

Speaker 2 It would be different categories. Yeah.
Right. There would be with liquid, without.

Speaker 4 With toothpicks, without.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Toothpicks is.
Get them down.

Speaker 4 Chomp them down.

Speaker 5 It's faster to eat the toothpicks. Definitely.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 It's a few extra chews. Yep.
There's a there. Okay.
so now, and finally, we got treats inspired by Buddy the Elf. You did it.
Congratulations. You made the whole journey through the press release.

Speaker 2 Celebrate your holiday season victories with maple-infused options that don't skimp on the syrup. The Buddy the Elf Maple Caramelicious Hot Ice or Blended features our signature drink.

Speaker 2 I'm assuming they mean coffee. Yeah.
But we put an elf-inspired new spin on the classic. Creamy Carol meets maple and rich espresso before beating top whipped cream.
Creamy Caramel meets Maple Cream.

Speaker 2 Creamy Carol is the woman who puts the whipped cream on all of the drinks. Yeah.
That's true. She hates it when you call her that.

Speaker 4 Where's the cream on my thing? Creamy Carol is out of death in the family.

Speaker 2 Creamy Carol is. And none of us are trained on it.

Speaker 4 Creepy Carol is on sabbatical.

Speaker 5 It's rough, man.

Speaker 4 I do not know what to say to her.

Speaker 2 Perfect for making snow angels. The buddy the elf maple chai gives your favorite spice chai an elf upgrade with warm notes of golden maple syrup.
How is it perfect for making snow angels?

Speaker 2 You dump it on the ground. Dump it on the ground in the shape of the angel.

Speaker 2 It's perfect for making snow angels because you need to, after you've gotten down there with Jovi and made beautiful snow angels, then you need a warm-up before you go find your dad, James Cond.

Speaker 4 I love you, dad. He's on the naughty list.
Yeah, he is.

Speaker 2 Don't have as much of a sweet tooth as Buddy the Elf?

Speaker 2 Try our son of a nutcracker brewed coffee, a special limited brewed coffee featuring notes of dark chocolate, roasted nuts, and warm brown sugary bread.

Speaker 2 It's all based on a movie that's older than your kids' kindergarten teacher. believe it or not amazing great flick

Speaker 2 great flick great flick this is one of the more comprehensive brand partnerships i think dude we're not even done welcome to the we're filled with holiday cheer there's plenty more to cheer about with our cheery cheer sparkling float tart cherry and vanilla flavors mixed with sparkling soda and creamy snowy vanilla float topping and whipped cream for a carbonated cup of cheery cheer this one's trying to fuck with me i'm not great of a reader but this one is trying to make problems for me intentionally, which is rude.

Speaker 4 How big's their menu that they can slot in two dozen

Speaker 2 ball fight cake bite with a delicious bite of vanilla cake goodness with creamy blue fillings surrounded by white chocolate and topped with they're now getting into like deep cut elf references that only the real elf heads yeah only the real elfies remember this yeah there's exclusive co-branded x sorry elf scooters coffee merchandise that's how I'm saying, or no, sorry, we're pronouncing those, right?

Speaker 2 Is that what we sell on? That is.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 2 There's co-branded Elf Scooter Coffee Merchandise. Makes for a sweet holiday gift available in stores and online.
Our Son of a Nutcracker Tumblr, a stainless steel 32-ounce insulated tumbler.

Speaker 2 Finally, folks.

Speaker 2 A cup with elf on it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think we finally did it, guys. A coffee mug

Speaker 2 with ELF.

Speaker 4 They've like tripled the size of their core core menu.

Speaker 2 Additional merchandise is available at scooterscoffee.com, including a son of a nutcracker blanket featuring the same. Did they just get rights to the one saying?

Speaker 2 The one quote? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What did you guys have left over that we could just troll for?

Speaker 2 So that is an exciting partnership. I'm excited to get over to scooters.
Never been to one. Can't imagine.
I'll go now. Too much elf stuff.
So

Speaker 2 you would have to say the name of these things out loud to wow yeah

Speaker 4 yeah i can't do it won't do it i'll do it like i do it at like a restaurant where i don't know how to pronounce some of the menu items or i'll be like i will have the

Speaker 4 stew

Speaker 2 and they'll know what i mean when i say this one i would i have this one please may i have the cherry beverage and you know

Speaker 4 and how many does that cost You want me to say son of a nutcracker? You have a knife in your hand. You're saying say son of a nutcracker.

Speaker 2 Out loud. Okay.
You said you're scared. Oh, you're scared.

Speaker 4 You said, say, son of a nutcracker, or I can't finish. You said that to me, a customer at your coffee shop.

Speaker 5 God, this place is a drive-through.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't want to stay here for very long. Thanks.

Speaker 2 On the first day of class, our TA told us not to raise our hands, but simply to speak up when we had something to share. For context, I'm in grad school and there are about 20 people in the class.

Speaker 2 I respect the TA and want to follow that request, but I keep forgetting and raising my hand anyway. To say this bothers her would be an understatement.

Speaker 2 She's clearly annoyed and has even begun to threaten docking grades.

Speaker 2 I've started to realize what I'm doing part way through raising my hand and try to pass it off as raising my hand through my hair or stretching.

Speaker 4 Awesome.

Speaker 2 I could only do this so many times before it looks suspicious. The other day I tried to pass off raising my hand as pretending to shoot basketball and it didn't go over well.

Speaker 2 Brothers, what are some other convincing ways I could pretend I'm not raising my hand? That's from Teacher's Pest in Tennessee. Stretch.
No, they already said stretching. I mean, they did cover that.

Speaker 2 Now say pretend to shoot basketball. Pretend to shoot basketball.

Speaker 4 Big one. a hoop.

Speaker 2 Oh, there he did it.

Speaker 2 Pretend like you're raising an antenna to get better reception on your invisible ham radio.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's good.

Speaker 4 Pretend to grab a bug.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 2 that's a good one if you just like snap it out of the air and then

Speaker 2 maybe

Speaker 4 body odor check.

Speaker 2 Write a fun phrase on the palm of your hand. Yeah.
Don't think you're cheating. Don't think you're cheating.
No, no, no. So then when you raise your hand, they see, and it just says like, hi, T.A.

Speaker 5 They'll kill you.

Speaker 2 That'll kill someone. Wait, no, Trey is a good idea.
Waving.

Speaker 2 Hi. I'm not.
Don't call on me. I know I have shit.
And give them a thumbs up. Let them know they're doing a good job.

Speaker 4 Just glad to see you, Teach.

Speaker 2 Air high five.

Speaker 4 It sucks that you only get to.

Speaker 2 Great point. Great point, Teach.

Speaker 4 Sucks you only get to wave when you say hi or bye to someone. You should be able to mid-conversation be like, I wave all the time.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about? I'm fucking stoked all over again to be talking to to you man here's a big one for you dude i'm not very good at waving too so i do it all the time to try to practice yeah

Speaker 2 sometimes when i wave it makes it seem like my wrist is uh disconnected from my hand and it's just kind of oh

Speaker 2 yeah that's you need to you need to it needs to be more of a lever action i can't i'm trying to do kind of more of a princess dying no parade wave it would be you know what would be nice if we use the wave as a symbol to like start the conversation over like i'm not like like, I've accidentally lied a couple times, and I don't want to have this anymore.

Speaker 2 And you're going to talk to me about something I don't care about. Yeah.
And I just want to start over, please. Yeah, watch that hand, man.

Speaker 2 You would have to limit the amount of times you could do that, right? Like, you could do that once a conversation.

Speaker 4 Do you guys think

Speaker 4 John Cena, the first time he did the you can't see me thing, he was just waving at himself because he was or he smelled something? He wanted to. That's possible too.
Stay.

Speaker 2 Or he wanted to smell something. He was trying to walk.

Speaker 4 That was it. It was Cena v.
Rock.

Speaker 2 And the rock was like, do you smell what the rock is going to get?

Speaker 4 And John Cena was like,

Speaker 2 I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 I'm trying. That looks cool.
That looks really cool. That's another thing you could do.
You could do the John Cena wave.

Speaker 2 You start to wave your hand, and then you just wave right in front of your face.

Speaker 4 That's cool. Yeah, you raise one hand, you raise the other hand.
Bring it down like crotch chops. We're really brutalizing our microphones during this question.

Speaker 2 I've been seeing interviews with John Cena lately pop up on TikTok, and he's talking about a lot of like debonair stuff like his like uh his preferences of coffee or I watched that as well Justin Perry

Speaker 2 like it's very debonair and it gave me this strange a strange emotion I don't think I've ever had before which is the feeling that I am glad John Cena is as big as he is so he is not bullied because I think if John Cena was not John Cena size, he would get bullied a lot.

Speaker 2 Like, I felt weirdly defensive for a John Cena that didn't exist, that didn't have his huge muscles. You know what I mean? But I'm glad he is as, he is as, John Cena is as big as he needs to be.

Speaker 2 And I don't think I understood this because I was not a wrestling person.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And, but he is, I will say,

Speaker 2 it seems like widely bullied in that, even in that world for a strong man, it seems like even people who like wrestling bullied John Cena more than they would feel comfortable bullying a man of his size.

Speaker 2 Well, if he left wrestling to go to go to Hollywood, Justin, where being debonair is appreciated, now he comes back and he's like, Y'all bullied me when I was just a big, strong wrestler, but look at me now.

Speaker 2 Look at me. I'd like to get a gut check from Griffin on this angle of John Cena being highly bullyable because I feel that in my bones.
I want to know if it's a right, a right feeling.

Speaker 4 I need 10 seconds.

Speaker 2 Can I also just say, Justin? He wasn't always that big. Like, as much as I want to picture a 10-year-old John Cena who's absolutely jacked and it's just the same but scaled down to 10.

Speaker 2 There must have been a time where he did get bullied and he thought, I'm going to become an absolutely jacked mountain of a man. Yes, but what I'm saying is like, I think

Speaker 2 his hugeness is directly proportionate to how big of a dork he was.

Speaker 2 Like a lot of people would have that realization and they'd do like 20 push-ups and be like, okay, I'm all right. I feel John Cena's like,

Speaker 2 I think I need to get just really huge

Speaker 2 to be able to carry off. That's what I did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, oh, yeah, Travis, yeah, the Travis McAray system, he called it. Yeah,

Speaker 2 where I got real big in 2002.

Speaker 4 In 2002,

Speaker 4 John Cena debuted the alias that he had at the time, which was a freestyle rapping wrestler named the Doctor of Thuganomics.

Speaker 2 I'm going to hyperventilate. Okay, so this is

Speaker 2 real cannon 100%

Speaker 4 fully, fully super.

Speaker 4 I know, guys, I get it that that sounds like some shit I would say that would be made up on this show where we say made up shit all the time, like man versus baby, but that's very real.

Speaker 4 I have to imagine.

Speaker 2 No, wait, man versus baby is real too. I want to be clear.

Speaker 2 Damn it. Okay.

Speaker 5 Go ahead. Thank you.

Speaker 4 I have to imagine

Speaker 2 that where he is.

Speaker 2 It's very real.

Speaker 4 I have to imagine where john cena is now the frame the frame he occupies now was largely he was pressed firmly into that mold like a play like the play-doh dentist like a play-doh dentist yeah because of a

Speaker 2 slingshot effect that he took around doctor of thugonomics to come back he went whoa and everyone's like this sucks and he was like

Speaker 4 and he launched back forward into the huge guy mold and now he's like, he is where he is now.

Speaker 2 And that's like a, who, who does that?

Speaker 4 Who can make that fucking transition? Nobody.

Speaker 2 Now, my question is,

Speaker 2 did the doctor of theomics have a PhD or a medical degree? Yes. Because even in there,

Speaker 2 what it

Speaker 2 implies is that the character went, yes, I could just be a layman of the nomics, but I will attend more schooling.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Debuting the Doctor of Thuganomics character in 2002, Cena began performing freestyle raps and promos and wore jerseys and hats as part of his gimmick, along with the slogan, word life.

Speaker 2 So he had to, he had to,

Speaker 4 they had to crush him at the bottom of the fucking pit. Batman broke his back so he could climb back up.
Now he's the fucking fear. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I love that. I love that for him.
Good for you, John. Cool journey.
Would love to get you on my brother, my brother, me or McRoy Family Clubhouse. Standing offer, John.

Speaker 2 or just a cool hang if you're afraid of the attention. I'm not gonna bully.
You're afraid of all the attention you would get from guests on our show. I understand that can be off-putting.

Speaker 2 We can just chill out and play Fortnite together. That's fine.
My

Speaker 2 you can play as yourself. I can be you, John.

Speaker 2 He probably doesn't play as John Cena, right? No, but I bet it would make him more comfortable if you did.

Speaker 2 You do pickle, you do pickle Rick.

Speaker 4 John Cena loves that. John Cena's still talking about pickle rick, guys.

Speaker 2 John, hi, the invite was real. Griffin doesn't mean this.
No, please

Speaker 2 enjoy that part.

Speaker 4 I do fully mean it. He's on his farewell tour season still in WWE, and every once in a while, he'll be like, I'm about to take you down like Pickle Rick.
And they're like, dude, you can't fucking.

Speaker 2 So you're saying Griffin's.

Speaker 2 There's two things John Cena loves that we know about. The perfect flat white, which he discusses at length in the video Justin and I watch, and Pickle Rick.

Speaker 2 yeah dude so when John Cena goes into a coffee shop he orders a flat white to see if they know what they're doing and then asks the barista also what are your feelings on pickle rick yeah and you know it's great it's like he

Speaker 4 he's he hasn't seen it He said he and he said in an interview, he's not allowed,

Speaker 4 I'm not allowed to watch Rick and Morty.

Speaker 2 Some adults will

Speaker 2 say, but I see a lot of like really funny stuff about the I'm busy studying fegonomics. He's one of of my parents.

Speaker 2 I haven't watched it, but I asked AI to generate a version of it for me based on what I knew about it. So I saw a t-shirt at Hot Topic, and I was

Speaker 2 so focused on the iconography. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He is a subscriber to the American Journal of Thugonomics because you can't just like learn that shit in 2002 and then go speak fucking conferences.

Speaker 4 Constantly change.

Speaker 2 Hey, thank you so much for listening to My Brother, My Brother, and Me. And a true podcast full of absolutely true stuff.
For grown-ups. Yeah.

Speaker 2 For dogs. This is true.
On December 6th, we're going to be doing a candlelight show right here in Huntington, West Virginia at 7 p.m. That includes a virtual stream ticket.

Speaker 2 If you want that digital premiere of recording of the show with bonus behind-the-scenes footage, that premiere is going to be December 19th at 9 p.m.

Speaker 2 Eastern through, and you can watch that through January 4th. We'll be in the chat on that.
We'll hang out with you, watch that.

Speaker 2 All benefits from this show are going to be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

Speaker 2 I don't need to tell you how important that is right now.

Speaker 2 And we would really appreciate any support you can provide. Tickets for both those events are available at bit.ly forward slash candle nights 2025.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 if this goes out at noon on Monday, which it normally does, that means that Champions Grove 2026 tickets are on sale right now.

Speaker 2 So Champions Grove, real quick, the whole pitch is there's a castle in Hawking Hills, Ohio called Ravenwood Castle. It is a castle, hotel,

Speaker 2 event space, and on Memorial Day weekend, we have rented it out, me and the Champions Grove folks, and I'm bringing in some

Speaker 2 game hosts and people who do amazing projects in the TTRPG space to run games. You guys come in, we run the games for you, you play games with each other, we have events.
We have fancy dinners.

Speaker 2 We have all kinds of stuff that you can. You're going to meet a bunch of cool people.
I went to the first one. It was a delight.
Thank you, Justin.

Speaker 2 And that's Memorial Day weekend. And we have accommodation packages for two to four people.

Speaker 2 You rent out the accommodation. And that also is going to give you, when you get the accommodation package, you get access to the event.

Speaker 2 And then you're going to reserve the hotel room through Ravenwood Castle. You can find out all the information, championsgrove.com.

Speaker 2 It's there. That's also where you can get the packages.
But like I said, it's on sale now and the spots are limited. So don't wait.
Championsgrove.com.

Speaker 4 Two more quick things. I did write a Choose Your An Adventure book.
Comes out March 10th next year. It's called The Stowaway.
You can pre-order that at bit.ly slash Griffinstowaway.

Speaker 4 And we also have revealed the cover for the final Adventure Zone graphic novel adaptation written by us and our dad, illustrated by Carrie Peach. The Adventure Zone story and song.

Speaker 4 That one comes out on July

Speaker 4 14th.

Speaker 2 There it is.

Speaker 4 July 14th. And you can pre-order that at theadventurezonecomic.com.

Speaker 4 It's a lot of stuff happening next year. Oh, and thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song.

Speaker 2 My Life is Better With You. It's a great one.
Great track. We got

Speaker 2 a fear, Trav, that we want to be faster than this year. Let me start to do, Justin.
Would you like to read it?

Speaker 2 This year, I'm going to go faster than my fear of a large flock of birds coming down and taking me away into the sky forever. Fair enough, clean fair, simple,

Speaker 2 simple. My name is Justin McElroy.
I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.
This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

Speaker 2 It's about

Speaker 2 you.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 It's better.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 Cause it's true.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 Come at life.

Speaker 2 It's better with you.

Speaker 2 Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.