MBMBaM 792: They're Not Drunk, They're Just Fighting

Speaker 1 The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

Speaker 2 One, two, three, it's the start

Speaker 2 of something beautiful.

Speaker 2 A small acquaintance has gossiped, it's ripened into a precious friendship.

Speaker 2 I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Speaker 2 Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life,

Speaker 2 it feels love.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 My life,

Speaker 2 oh,

Speaker 2 it's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 2 This is true.

Speaker 2 It's better, it's better with two.

Speaker 2 It's better with you.

Speaker 3 Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother, me and Advice Show for the modern era.

Speaker 4 I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis Nation?

Speaker 5 It's me, your middleest brother, Travis, Big Dark Wolf of Room for McElroy.

Speaker 8 What's up, Travis Nation? It's me, your sweet baby boy, the 3930 meeting, Illuminati, Griffin, McRoy.

Speaker 8 Guys, check the Chiron. Check the newspapers.

Speaker 8 Check the, there's a new, there's a Chiron at the bottom of the screen right now. It says, check it out.

Speaker 9 And it says, Hamnet.

Speaker 8 It says, Hamnet, watch. And this is a new movie out in theaters, and it's called Hamnet.
And Hamnet is about the son of

Speaker 8 professional playwright Bill Shakespeare had a son and named his son Hamnet. And so this movie is called Hamnet.
And it's a real guy. His name was Hamnet Shakespeare.

Speaker 14 And I knew that.

Speaker 9 Wait, that's a real guy.

Speaker 8 I thought I knew a lot about this dude because like i've been in his

Speaker 8 before cost

Speaker 8 speak hatins for me

Speaker 8 in there i thought i he still got it he's i thought i got it thanks man i don't i knew everything about this old victorian man or whatever way before that dark ages he had a son Cool, first of all, and he named him Hamnet, which is also cool because he also wrote a play and called it Hamlet.

Speaker 7 Now, hold on. That's awesome.

Speaker 5 This is what we need to talk about, Griffin, because I've known this for a while. And the thing that blows my mind, imagine, so Hamlet

Speaker 5 is a real wiener who murders people and like all this stuff.

Speaker 8 So Shakespeare's son becomes a killer, like killing him.

Speaker 5 Well, no, that's Hamlet.

Speaker 7 Imagine if dad wrote...

Speaker 19 a story about someone named Griffin

Speaker 7 who was a real wiener who complained all the time and was just like

Speaker 7 and like killed a man? I haven't seen the movie and this is a watch.

Speaker 8 This is a Hamnet watch only sort of conceptually because it looks so boring.

Speaker 8 But it's he had the son first called the son Hamnet and then wrote a play about a real piece of shit and was like, I'll call him something that sounds a lot like my son's name and not the other way around.

Speaker 7 I believe so, yeah.

Speaker 21 Actually, historically how it happened, from what I understand,

Speaker 3 he wrote Hamlet and then Anne Hathaway gave birth to their first child.

Speaker 23 Yeah, and she says, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now.

Speaker 3 What is and she's she was holding the baby up, but she's like, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now.

Speaker 8 And she was shorn, she was shaved.

Speaker 23 She did that again.

Speaker 8 She said, I like that.

Speaker 15 It's not Anne Hathaway.

Speaker 21 Anne Hathaway is wife, Griffin.

Speaker 3 Oh, sorry. And she says, Bill Shakespeare, tell me truely now.

Speaker 24 What's the greatest thing you've ever created?

Speaker 3 And like, without even thinking, he's like, Hamlet.

Speaker 25 And she's like, What?

Speaker 26 And he's like,

Speaker 16 I said

Speaker 27 Hamnet.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 28 I said Hemnet.

Speaker 8 Hemnet.

Speaker 9 And that's the name of our...

Speaker 8 That's the police name now.

Speaker 29 I would like to name, if I may.

Speaker 31 It's a family name privately for a while now. Hemnet.

Speaker 5 It's a family name that I came up with because my father used to catch hams in a net.

Speaker 6 He was a ham fisherman.

Speaker 17 And that's real.

Speaker 8 It would be as if Stanley, younger Stanley, walks out of the hospital holding his little bundle and joint and says, everyone, I'd like you to meet Spiberman.

Speaker 8 This is Spiberman, and he's my beloved son. I named him after one of my favorite guys, Excelsior.

Speaker 19 I'm drunk.

Speaker 19 I named him after him, but not really.

Speaker 8 Yeah, they said that you shouldn't name kids when you're drunk, but I call this one Spiber-Man, and I put it on the papers and everything.

Speaker 5 I named it close enough to it that it's very obvious, but for some reason, I changed one letter.

Speaker 8 Just so fucking wild.

Speaker 7 This is is my son, Excelsinor.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I haven't seen the movie. I assume it's just two hours of a man named Hamnett walking around going, oh, I can't believe this.

Speaker 9 Oh, man.

Speaker 7 Not again.

Speaker 33 Craig loves this play.

Speaker 14 I believe it's pronounced Hamlet.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 11 no, I get that.

Speaker 5 I get that a lot, but dad put an in in there because he's a wordsmith or some fuck.

Speaker 7 I don't know, man.

Speaker 31 God bless you in the fake play from Something Rotten, Trav.

Speaker 16 What's the name of the fake show in Something Rotten? I don't know.

Speaker 5 Omelette. I'm kind of a jump.
Omelette.

Speaker 16 Oh, it's hilarious.

Speaker 12 Hilarious stuff.

Speaker 3 I just love Shakespeare.

Speaker 8 I love Shakespeare, and I love all of his stuff. It's cool that this movie came out, and it's going to help old Hamlet Shakespeare's SEO, certainly.

Speaker 11 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm going to get a lot fewer auto-corrections.

Speaker 13 Like, um, did you mean the great, the great tragedy Hamlet? with an L.

Speaker 5 It feels like a sequel to Shakespeare and Love, but that's only based off of the three seconds that I accidentally saw on a TikTok.

Speaker 15 And I was like, is this Shakespeare and Love?

Speaker 5 But no, it's Hamnet.

Speaker 8 Okay, three seconds of Shakespeare and Love or three seconds of Hamnet.

Speaker 5 I saw three seconds of Hamnet.

Speaker 8 Okay, I thought you were saying, like, I'm too cool for Shakespeare and Love because I used to work at the great bards.

Speaker 7 No, no, no. Shakespeare and Love rules.

Speaker 5 I'm saying there's a moment where Jeffrey Rush says, the show must. And then someone says, go on.

Speaker 34 And you're like, that's how they came up with it.

Speaker 5 It's brilliant.

Speaker 10 That happens in Hamnet?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 5 It happens in in something wrong damn it no it happens in shakespeare and love they gotta stop making movies about shakespeare and then dan aykroyd and tom hanks are hanging out and they fire a big snake no that's dragnet sorry god damn dragnet the movie based on the tv show of the similar name which one sorry i don't know if hamnett is about hamnet or william shakespeare uh well It's about is William Shakespeare in it?

Speaker 8 Is there an old he better fucking not be? I'll kick his ass. If I I see that dude, I'm going to kick his ass.

Speaker 7 Wow.

Speaker 9 Wow. Yeah, man.

Speaker 5 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 5 If you see him on the movie screen, you're going to kick his ass.

Speaker 7 You're going to

Speaker 7 stay seated.

Speaker 8 I do that. You know how heated I get, and I have like real temper problems when it comes to people who wrong me.

Speaker 8 And if I do see Shakespeare on a screen, fictionalized, being played by an actor, the real guy, whatever, I will go in there and kick his ass, Purple Rose and Kairos does.

Speaker 5 Justin, I want to say that in your little short vignette of a scene you did there were you imagining that griffin has taken his nine-year-old and four-year-old son to go see hamnet

Speaker 3 it's i bet it's okay i bet it's too scene scene both scene and vignette were very generous there traffic thank you so you're welcome um yeah it was in that and guys i'll be honest with you from the moment

Speaker 27 From the moment you said Hamnet, I have been imagining an animated film about a pig Shakespeare.

Speaker 7 Yeah, like spider ham.

Speaker 22 Nothing you're saying is erasing my pig, Hamnet, from my mind.

Speaker 11 It's just there.

Speaker 7 I love

Speaker 24 Justin.

Speaker 38 So like in my mind, he was saying Hamnet starring Seth Rogan as Hamnet.

Speaker 7 You know what I mean? Like I was saying.

Speaker 11 In your mind,

Speaker 5 they wanted to make an animated film about Shakespeare. And they took the name Hamlet and they said, no, no, no, we got to funny it up.

Speaker 7 Hamnet. Okay.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Okay, so the movie apparently. Okay, guys, the movie starts.
A written prologue prologue states that in Stratford Renaissance England, Hamnet and Hamlet were considered the same name.

Speaker 8 I imagine this is like a

Speaker 8 return of Emperor Palpatine sort of crawl like, hey, listen up, you funny, hey, chuckle fucks.

Speaker 8 Before you guys start busting on your podcast, you should know that they used to say these names pretty much the same way.

Speaker 6 Was Hamnet a nickname for Hamlet?

Speaker 32 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 8 Sometimes they would just swap sounds around. That's why he came up with so many goddamn words.
He's a great bard. But I'll I'll kick his ass if I do something.

Speaker 5 I know, Griffin. I get it.
Yeah, man.

Speaker 23 I work in the defense industry and routinely have to travel to military bases for my work.

Speaker 3 I'm also an avid disc golfer and love playing new courses. A surprising number of what?

Speaker 8 Just that's awesome, that those two things are true, but that's awesome.

Speaker 11 It's cool.

Speaker 7 I bet that overlap is bigger than you think.

Speaker 8 You think so? Between disc golf and the military?

Speaker 5 Defense contractors?

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah. I guess.

Speaker 11 You have to travel a lot.

Speaker 40 I bet you want any common ground, right?

Speaker 3 For people that travel a lot, I bet just like having something where you can bond with people.

Speaker 11 I'm also in a lot of

Speaker 5 things that fly through the air. A lot about trajectory.

Speaker 7 A lot about UFOs. A lot of

Speaker 8 shorts. You can wear shorts.

Speaker 3 A pricing number of bases have disc golf courses on base, often right in the middle of everything, which presents a dilemma.

Speaker 3 How do I go out and rip discs after having these serious military meetings? That's from desperate to disc in Orlando.

Speaker 8 I don't understand why this is a problem and not an incredible opportunity.

Speaker 8 Because if you're out there, fucking Tony Stark, and you're selling huge bazookas or whatever it is I'm assuming that you do, I just assume it's huge bazookas or huge bazongas.

Speaker 8 Huge bazongas, huge bazookas.

Speaker 28 And you say, Jason Manzuka, and someone says,

Speaker 8 Yeah, you're ripping zookas out there, and people are like, how do I know I'm getting a good deal on these 20 bazookas you're selling me? And then you turn around and fucking

Speaker 7 yeah, Especially if you yell pull, hole, and you do it, and then the bazooka goes off.

Speaker 19 Boom, hits your side.

Speaker 3 You say pull at a 10-foot-tall Jason Manzookas launches a clay pigeon into the air?

Speaker 21 Hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 11 Yeah. Now hopefully.

Speaker 5 And you hit it with your disc, and a clay pigeon explodes. And you're like, now imagine if that was a bazooka.

Speaker 8 Yeah. You yeet your disc up into the sky and someone blasts it with one of these new

Speaker 8 ski and the someone shooting ski

Speaker 8 blows up your disc and then they say, hell yeah, these are good bazookas. And you say, what the fuck, man? That was on pace

Speaker 8 for an ace. It's been so long.
I can't believe you blew up my disc.

Speaker 21 Foul.

Speaker 3 First of all, I don't love the idea that someone with this serious of a job is aware of us.

Speaker 23 And I have tried to be pretty...

Speaker 26 firm about that, that if you do have a real profession or something serious like that, we would prefer you find your entertainment from more erudite sources.

Speaker 3 I don't like the idea that I'm influencing anyone of import.

Speaker 8 Yeah, even subconsciously, email us, tell us that you have a ding-dong job. Yes, please.
I make my own bowling balls and sell them on Etsy, like that kind of stuff.

Speaker 5 Secondly.

Speaker 3 What's confusing to me about this situation is if you went to here and you started playing disc golf, what if someone else also started doing that and then they wanted to talk to you about it and talking about how you were doing it and comparing it to the way they were doing it?

Speaker 3 If that's a possibility, how do you even go on the boat base to begin with?

Speaker 5 I assume they're not playing disc golf on top of like an aircraft carrier because that would lead to a lot of lost discs.

Speaker 8 A lot of discs failed.

Speaker 4 But 3D printers these days.

Speaker 11 What does that mean?

Speaker 8 No, finish that sentence. You can 3D print.
No, no, no, but Justin, I want Justin to finish.

Speaker 15 I can't believe you fucking baited him out.

Speaker 8 He was winning.

Speaker 7 Print a new disc.

Speaker 6 You pop, print a new disc.

Speaker 19 He's my brother in print, Riffin.

Speaker 6 I got to back him up.

Speaker 8 I know you got to support him.

Speaker 31 Just because you're not a Philip at Philly, you don't have to come and rain on our parade. Damn it.

Speaker 8 Philamette was the only other 3D printer word I can think of.

Speaker 40 I am a thing.

Speaker 5 A PLA pal.

Speaker 5 I also want to say this, if they put that thing square in the middle of the base, they're so excited when people are using it.

Speaker 5 You see that sometimes where there's like an aspirational pool table that someone has put in like an office or something. And they're like, everyone's going to use this.

Speaker 5 And then people are like doing their jobs.

Speaker 11 Like

Speaker 5 you would see that like in a firehouse, right? Oh, yeah, there's a fire station. We put a pool table in here and they can relax and do it.
And they don't want to do that.

Speaker 7 They want to.

Speaker 3 It's like when you're hosting a holiday party and you take out a tray of appetizers that you're very proud of and set them down and you expect the gravitational pull of the table, like the whole mood should shift.

Speaker 24 It's weird that people people keep talking.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? You kind of want there to be like, hush, silence, slowly turn. Yeah.

Speaker 17 Those are pizza rolls.

Speaker 3 You know, like that you want the moment.

Speaker 11 Cool party. Cool party.

Speaker 11 I'm kind of hungry now.

Speaker 5 Especially if you bust those out in the middle. Like that's a good way to get over a lull or an argument.
Oh no, the politics argument has broken out.

Speaker 15 But guess what I have?

Speaker 11 Pizza rolls.

Speaker 30 You know, Travis, no, we're not talking about pizza rolls, man.

Speaker 21 We're talking about discoloured.

Speaker 3 It was a metaphor, man.

Speaker 29 I don't know why you're still talking about pizza rolls.

Speaker 8 You're really hung up on the metaphor pizza rolls and shit.

Speaker 5 I do love the idea of like you're negotiating or whatever. You're talking, it gets heated, and you're like, you know what? Let's disc go.
I think things are getting a little heated.

Speaker 5 Let's take just like a quick 45 minutes to an hour. I don't know how long a round of disc golf takes.

Speaker 33 First person to call it Frisbee.

Speaker 11 We'll just bust that out.

Speaker 3 Or the ship or the base.

Speaker 5 And then we'll, much like the disc, boat, ship, base, whatever it may be.

Speaker 8 Justin really wants there to be a ship.

Speaker 8 Justin's like crazy about this ship that he imagines.

Speaker 5 Just like a Frisbee.

Speaker 30 i'm going back through the question

Speaker 12 see where aircraft carrier

Speaker 11 can i finish my jump please finish travis just like a disc we'll circle back okay all right that's how you get trav can you do the junk again like a frisbee because i missed it

Speaker 5 did it go over your head yes oh fuck dude

Speaker 30 damn i'm operating on four hours four hours of sleep and what is the temperature i didn't have what is your temperature right now 59 degrees in my house my house was without power for 25 hours while it was under 32 degrees outside and i'm bringing the heat myself

Speaker 25 yeah you are dude you're an internal confun confunction engine my ron function engine you're i'm having a great time and griffin's actually lowering his stock in his effort to compliment you griffin's getting worse sometimes i just i love that support This is not, this is the opposite of a zero-sum game.

Speaker 21 This is a some-sum game.

Speaker 22 I'm a therapist and I also have IBS.

Speaker 23 Coffee makes it worse, but I need it to stay awake each day.

Speaker 3 This presents an obvious conundrum.

Speaker 3 Often I find myself in the middle of a session sipping on my ice smoke, and when my tummy begins to grumble audibly, I start sweating, and let's just say the call of nature becomes undeniable.

Speaker 3 Up till now, I've been white-knuckling it through the rest of the session when this happens, but it definitely just detracts from my focus.

Speaker 3 Thus, how can I maintain the quality of my services and also heed my bowels? And I don't want to read the name of this one, but I will. Am I a shitty therapist?

Speaker 5 Do you have an in-office bathroom, like an attached bathroom to your office?

Speaker 4 Okay, I was wondering how in-office it would be for it to originally.

Speaker 5 The thing I did picture was a port-a-body, but I think that that might be, I mean, okay, yeah, that's my sore thing.

Speaker 31 Yes.

Speaker 5 Because after they tell you something, you're going to say, hmm, that's, oh, that's a toughie. I'm going to have to step into my thinking chamber.

Speaker 5 And then, like, you decorate it. But if it's a port-a-body, you can make it like a TARDIS.
And you'll be like, I'm going to go back to your childhood and observe like how your parents treated you.

Speaker 5 I'll be right back. And then you're going to play some loud TARDIS noises to cover

Speaker 7 what's about to happen.

Speaker 8 Justin's doing the same thing.

Speaker 7 We're the wind beneath your wigs this episode, Trev.

Speaker 11 I'm loving

Speaker 36 the cow you pull into to get a tire changed.

Speaker 32 Thank you.

Speaker 8 You could get, if you got a big enough singing bowl, you could say,

Speaker 7 let's try a grounding grounding bowl.

Speaker 8 Close your eyes.

Speaker 8 No, I'm sorry, you're not shitting into the singing bowl.

Speaker 11 I'm trying

Speaker 29 with this bowl SRB that you could shit in it while they rub it and not know what's up.

Speaker 11 That's a big bowl, brother.

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 8 I'm pretty sure the singing bowl needs to have its kind of form uninterrupted entirely.

Speaker 7 You're not vibrating

Speaker 29 stabilization one way or the other.

Speaker 8 It's gonna, yeah, it's gonna throw it off. Yeah, I'm trying to have that god tone, and I'm trying to vibe with that browner.

Speaker 8 Not the brown, No.

Speaker 8 I'm saying with a big enough singing bowl, you blang. That thing's going to be going for like four or five minutes, which should be enough time for you to get next door, blast off and get back.

Speaker 29 Hey, if this thing starts to slow down, you just got to clang it again, all right? Or your meditation is going to be all fucked up and you'll have ruined it.

Speaker 9 Oh, man.

Speaker 8 If I had a singing bowl as part of my professional work environment and skill set, I would never let anybody touch that shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, man.

Speaker 8 My kids would always be coming in, like, let me hit the singing bowl. And it's like, you guys don't even understand how to get the right stuff out.

Speaker 3 Wouldn't it be kick-ass if part of podcasting was like, just once in a while, you're like, hold on.

Speaker 11 Bong!

Speaker 3 Just hit the singing bowl, and everybody just had to shut the fuck up.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Just like, let the ball do it.

Speaker 22 Let the ball

Speaker 17 thing.

Speaker 27 I don't know if you clang a singing ball.

Speaker 7 Is that what you do with the singing bowl?

Speaker 22 Just fucking whack it with a mallet or something?

Speaker 36 I don't think you're supposed to.

Speaker 8 I don't think you're supposed to. I don't think you're getting gong action at it.

Speaker 5 I think it depends on what kind of music you're playing. That's true, Trav.
You know, if it's scream metal that you wanted to sing i think you could do it yeah could you incorporate maybe get another

Speaker 5 like therapist in the practice that you're like you can trade these kinds of favors with and you'd like slip them a text and then they pop in and they're like hey it seems like this guy is pretty well sorted um

Speaker 5 We've got a real, this guy's childhood was real messed up. I'm going to need you to come over here for like five or ten minutes and help me through this one and maybe bring a book

Speaker 11 personally

Speaker 30 personally.

Speaker 30 Trav, maybe the second therapist looks a lot like you

Speaker 5 and you can get them to look away for a moment and they travel there in the turnis and it's you from the future.

Speaker 8 You guys, you guys when you've already pooped. You guys always bring magic into this.

Speaker 7 If we're going to bring magic into this,

Speaker 30 the doctor isn't magic science-based.

Speaker 7 Apologies for trying to touch Oz over here, pal.

Speaker 15 Okay, well,

Speaker 8 the doctor gave me a special machine, and when I press it, it makes the poop leave my body with a

Speaker 11 televocation.

Speaker 7 You should probably see a therapist that looks like you in the building in case you got to go do something.

Speaker 11 That's all.

Speaker 8 That you teleport, that you teleport in fictionally.

Speaker 5 Okay, you're going to have them lay on the couch like I assume all therapists do, but I've never been asked to.

Speaker 5 And I should probably find a new therapist because I've never gotten to lay on the couch and talk. And as they're talking, you're going to slowly turn the lights down to a very soothing level.

Speaker 5 You're going to play some white noise and turn that up a little bit. You're going to maybe like pump some aromatherapy in the air.
Wait till they fall asleep. Good night.
And then you can go poop.

Speaker 8 Sleepy time. Here's at 4:32 Hurst.

Speaker 21 If you can surf, brother, if you can somehow

Speaker 12 get the other person to poop,

Speaker 20 then you with scarecrow.

Speaker 7 Scare pooping will somehow be such a supportive yes.

Speaker 14 A huge yes.

Speaker 7 I'm there for you.

Speaker 29 I too will go to the bathroom. Let's both take a bath.
I'm very you've got to get that other person to want to use the bathroom more than you.

Speaker 25 That's what the water feature is there for, right?

Speaker 16 If somebody's going to want to pee, it's going to be the patient.

Speaker 5 I actually have a set of stalls where we can continue this conversation.

Speaker 31 Let it out. Those are toxins.

Speaker 25 I'm a bad therapist.

Speaker 21 These are toxins.

Speaker 7 Let them out.

Speaker 11 Those are toxins.

Speaker 7 I don't know how any of this works.

Speaker 8 Here to help me as a professional illusionist, Darren Brown. He's just going to say some words that are going to make some things start happening inside your body, right?

Speaker 5 It was all your idea.

Speaker 8 But it was all your idea. But as long as you're going, I might dip out too.

Speaker 5 Whoops.

Speaker 32 I also listened to Darren Brown.

Speaker 11 Oh, no. Oh, no.
Whoa-oh.

Speaker 8 Damn it. He got me again.
How annoying must it be to be at the mall walking and talking with your friends? And then all of a sudden, you just put both your hands up in the air and you look around.

Speaker 12 and sure enough darren brown's up there doing one of his specials and he's like i got you all fucking again you idiots god it's easy to make you ants do whatever the fuck i want this is a socialist ramp or whatever if you worked for darren brown like around like pay negotiation time you're like darren i think i deserve a little bit more and he's like look behind you and then you look and you turn back he's gone You know, he convinces you that you actually didn't need a pay raise the whole time.

Speaker 5 Yeah. He's like, how much do you think you're worth? And you're like, I don't know, a dollar less an hour than I'm making now.

Speaker 7 What the fuck?

Speaker 15 What the fuck? How did you, why did I say that?

Speaker 8 Don't even sweat the cost of living, boss. Why are my hands up over my head?

Speaker 8 Stop it, Darren. God damn it.

Speaker 3 I'm a high school teacher. Earlier this semester, I elected to cut my own hair.

Speaker 12 It wasn't that bad.

Speaker 2 Man.

Speaker 3 But one of my students runs a barbershop business out of his garage. And when he saw my hair, he wordlessly placed his business card on my desk.

Speaker 11 Oh, awesome.

Speaker 28 That's cool. Now it's time for a cut again.

Speaker 3 And after seeing his portfolio, I agreed to schedule an appointment with him.

Speaker 21 Great.

Speaker 3 However, my partner recently mentioned that for the duration of his haircut experience, I will have to figure out topics that make good small talk.

Speaker 3 What do I talk with about a student who is good at hair, but who is not particularly high-performing in my class?

Speaker 12 Should I avoid topics related to school?

Speaker 3 Should I use it as an opportunity to enrich his academic life?

Speaker 4 That's from Overdue in a New Do in Omaha.

Speaker 5 Can I just say, I love when this happens, where, like, the first two-thirds of the question, I'm like, oh, I see what, I see the problem here and what the social, and then you're like, and that didn't bother me at all, but I will have to speak with them.

Speaker 5 What do I say? And I'm like, I thought this was going to be about the hair critique.

Speaker 8 There's some extraordinary power dynamics at work here, huh? Because you're the teacher and they are the student.

Speaker 8 Their academic life is, you hold it in your hands. And, but also in this moment, they're the one sort of holding the keys.
And by keys, I mean scissors.

Speaker 8 I didn't need to put as many metaphors in there as I did.

Speaker 32 Well, you could

Speaker 5 have to get the threat of their fate, just as they cut the hair of your head.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Or just to put it simply, in the classroom, you're in charge in the barber chair, they're in charge.
And that's complicated. Don't undersell this situation.
This is a toughie. Yeah.

Speaker 11 This is a tough knot.

Speaker 3 And I guarantee you, this student is also having some version of this.

Speaker 23 We all think connection is a good idea until we're face to face with it.

Speaker 3 You know, or we're staring down the barrel of it.

Speaker 23 And it's like, well, I have to connect.

Speaker 21 Time to prepare for that.

Speaker 5 There's also, oh my God, there's another thing. Hey, question asker, let me give you something else to worry about.

Speaker 34 If this was wordlessly exchanged, there was no talk of cost or price or money exchanged.

Speaker 21 Are you going to have to negotiate price too?

Speaker 11 Oh,

Speaker 8 I thought it was a price.

Speaker 5 No, I'm saying that are they doing it out of the goodness of their heart as you're their professor and you needed some help? Or are they networking their business?

Speaker 3 Trev, I will say that sounds challenging, but not particularly funny.

Speaker 25 So I think that you are probably right that that is a problem.

Speaker 4 I don't necessarily want to unpack here, Trev.

Speaker 8 I wanted to explore the bribery route a little bit because it does feel like maybe this is an extra.

Speaker 4 I'm getting panicky thinking about having to figure out what to pay this kid, and it is not my problem.

Speaker 8 I can tell, I can tell

Speaker 7 So let's take that, rewind it back, and go back to

Speaker 5 there is something about someone wordlessly handing you anything that feels threatening to me.

Speaker 8 They should. They should.
A business card is one of the most threatening things to hand to someone wordlessly.

Speaker 3 You assume that on the back of it is a number that is either very good or very bad.

Speaker 12 for you. Yes, correct.
You know, whatever.

Speaker 3 It's a phone number of someone that can help you, or it's a number that something costs that you don't have or they'll kill you.

Speaker 21 Yes.

Speaker 11 Something like that.

Speaker 8 What if it's like a what if it's like a cool embossed gold sort of business card with just like a symbol on the front of it?

Speaker 8 Like some sort of like secret symbol with scissors or whatever in it. And then you turn it around and there's just an address.

Speaker 15 Oh, shit.

Speaker 5 So this is

Speaker 5 like Kingsman.

Speaker 32 It's like a squid gang.

Speaker 5 It's like a squid game Kingsman.

Speaker 21 Yeah. Kingsgang.

Speaker 7 Squidman.

Speaker 21 I feel like we need Nicole Squidman.

Speaker 3 Re-re-embrace silence. And I think that it's not something that we do a lot on this podcast for obvious reasons, I think.
Being an audio show and everything.

Speaker 7 Let's try it.

Speaker 38 No, silence is a covenant.

Speaker 28 You know what I mean? And I think that

Speaker 28 we forget sometimes that if you're sitting there thinking what to say and the other person's sitting there thinking what to say, you're agreeing on silence.

Speaker 24 And to break it is to break a covenant.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean?

Speaker 17 Maybe we just embrace the, maybe we just embrace it.

Speaker 5 Maybe just embrace that comment that of silence I'm gonna say something that I know you guys will disagree with I love that Travis don't it's never stopping out here man breaking social norm when I get my hair cut I say is it all right if I pop my air pods in I pop my air pods in

Speaker 25 I don't agree with this and here's the thing you called it exactly Trav.

Speaker 28 You called it exactly.

Speaker 5 I am of the opinion that they also don't want to talk to me.

Speaker 11 And so this is...

Speaker 7 No, that's incorrect.

Speaker 23 Now, that is a huge guess because that's very person-dependent.

Speaker 12 There are people running around that just love to talk to people.

Speaker 8 I've met

Speaker 5 the same hairstylist for eight years. We've developed a mutual understanding with one another.

Speaker 8 I understand, Justin. I can't believe in the same minute that you established that silence is a good thing.

Speaker 17 Silence is a covenant that does not need technology to be reinforcing it because that's a barrier, right?

Speaker 3 That silence, in that case, is a wall.

Speaker 11 I'm saying, what are you cranking?

Speaker 7 What?

Speaker 8 What are you listening to? What are you listening to in those pods? Yeah,

Speaker 5 usually videos dissecting, well, maybe videos dissecting horror video games that I'll never play.

Speaker 5 Yeah. They're too scary for me to play, but I do want to know what happens in them.

Speaker 10 You hand them.

Speaker 8 Hey, Trav, you should try to hand them a bud next time.

Speaker 8 Hand him a bud.

Speaker 11 Pop a bud in there and have a share.

Speaker 30 I thought you meant like a bud wiser.

Speaker 8 No, I mean, crap a bud if you want to, but like pop out, pop out a bud from one of your ears, pop it in there, so you can be like, you know about fucking Freddy Fazbear?

Speaker 9 Cut my hair. Cut my hair.

Speaker 7 In two pieces. This is a YouTube short

Speaker 11 let's go to the money zone

Speaker 8 charis don't hide behind your microphone after fucking nailing a landing like that dude do not get sheepish when you smash it's guilt i can tell it's guilt he's he feels guilty about the extent to which he's running the show today i was being impish

Speaker 8 Yeah, you're the fucking you're Alan Iverson hanging from the rim with a coquettish little grin on your face.

Speaker 8 You just fucking got nasty on it, dude.

Speaker 3 Now we are actually going to go to the muddy zone.

Speaker 3 It's that a new year.

Speaker 11 Griffin, yeah,

Speaker 5 can I tell you my problem I've been having?

Speaker 8 Yeah, just one?

Speaker 5 No, just the main one that I'm thinking about right now that's really boiling my noodle.

Speaker 2 Who?

Speaker 5 I signed up for so many random apps and websites and services and everything. Yeah.
I'm losing

Speaker 5 a million and a half dollars a year.

Speaker 8 Whoa, dude, a year?

Speaker 5 A year.

Speaker 8 Okay. So this number you made up is dramatic, but it's also at the same time, like kind of conservative.

Speaker 8 I thought you were going to go silly, like 50 million a week or something, but like a million and a half a year is just on the border of believable based on what I know about your

Speaker 8 financial responsibility.

Speaker 5 I made it.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I made it up. There's a number I made up.

Speaker 8 Travis, Rocket Money is going to save your life, buddy. You got to get on it.
Rocket Money is an app. It's a personal finance app, and it does a bunch of stuff.

Speaker 8 I would say the thing that is most frequently useful for me, and it sounds like for Travis, is that it will go through your spending and it will find subscriptions you forgot about.

Speaker 8 Like maybe you pay for twice and you forgot about it, and it will help you cancel those, help you lower your bills, help you track your spending

Speaker 8 so that you can reach your financial goals and grow your savings. Uh, it's, it's, it's a really, truly great idea, and it works super great.

Speaker 8 They've saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million, which is more, Trav, than one and a half in canceled subscriptions alone.

Speaker 8 That's their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premiums.

Speaker 7 Less, though.

Speaker 8 That sounds like maybe, though, you're going to be an outlier.

Speaker 7 It sounds like

Speaker 7 an average.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's an average. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So so huge is your waste that you might bump that average up a significant amount.

Speaker 5 That would be amazing.

Speaker 8 So cancel your unwanted subscriptions, Travis, please. Jesus, I'm worried about you.

Speaker 11 And reach your body. I'm worried about me too.

Speaker 5 I was going to fake my own death, but I'm really glad.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Rocket Money. Because you know why?

Speaker 8 It's expensive.

Speaker 41 Fuck.

Speaker 8 Instead, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash my brother today.
That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother today.

Speaker 8 Rocketmoney.com slash my brother.

Speaker 5 I'm going to do that instead. I think that that's better.

Speaker 32 Yeah, cool. Hey, everybody,

Speaker 5 not for jokes. When my house lost power and it was cold outside and my power was out for 25 hours.
Yes, of course, I was worried about my kids and, you know, my wife and I.

Speaker 5 But we made sure to find an Airbnb we could stay in for the night where we could have our pets there because pets are a member of your family. You love them.
You want what's best for them.

Speaker 5 You want to take care of them. And that's not just in emergency situations.
That's every day, baby.

Speaker 32 That's every day. You got to pamper that

Speaker 32 little kitty.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I was wondering what you were about to do.

Speaker 7 I wasn't brave enough.

Speaker 8 Did you see the

Speaker 7 courage fight?

Speaker 7 I heard it.

Speaker 7 I heard your titto.

Speaker 8 Justin had to run a quick errand.

Speaker 8 And so it's just me and Trav here.

Speaker 8 And we shared a moment of fear and vulnerability in that moment when I almost, I said, pamper your, and then I wasn't brave enough to say a different word about the kitty cat.

Speaker 8 So, but you do need to take good care of them, and smalls helps, smalls helps you do that. Gosh, we need to get to saying the name of these businesses.

Speaker 33 Yeah, that's faster, man.

Speaker 5 Smalls cat food is protein-packed and made with preservative-free ingredients that you'd find in your fridge, delivered right to your door. And starting with smalls is easy.

Speaker 5 You share your cat's diet, health, food preferences, all that stuff. And they're going to put together a personalized sampler for your kitty cat so that it can choose the ones that it likes best

Speaker 8 and after switching to smalls 88 of cat owners reported overall health improvements and that's a big deal from smalls food justin has been using smalls for his two precious angels uh and i they liked him better they do like him better i think that's the main takeaway like they look great their their coat is is uh shiny and waxen um but i think the big takeaway is that they just seem to enjoy being around Justin more.

Speaker 5 When we would visit, they used to pretty performatively display how much they didn't like. Like they would see us there and they'd be like, hey, watch this.
And then they would like cuss him out.

Speaker 6 They would speak things.

Speaker 8 They'd be like,

Speaker 8 bitch.

Speaker 8 And you would know that they said that to like they did it an inch away from his face. It's undeniable what he did.

Speaker 6 But now they like tolerate him and like occasionally even show him affection.

Speaker 8 Yeah, sometimes they'll get close to his face this time and be like, cool dude.

Speaker 7 And they'll say pretty nice

Speaker 8 at him real close. So I guess what are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time because you're a mam bam listener.

Speaker 8 Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother.

Speaker 8 One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother.

Speaker 7 Smalls, pamper that.

Speaker 5 Do it.

Speaker 32 Baby, kitty precious. Fuck.

Speaker 32 You'll get it.

Speaker 42 If you like too many podcasts, you'll love SoundTeap with John Lick Roberts. It's got clips from all your favourite podcasts, such as Diary of a Tiny CEO.

Speaker 42 Leonard Sprague, tell me how you make your money.

Speaker 8 I go to the beach and I steal people's towels.

Speaker 42 Remember armour.

Speaker 43 Do you remember the trend of everyone whacking themselves on the head with hammers and mallets when they wanted to lose weight?

Speaker 42 And LT Jom's lobbily songs. I'm here today with Kiki D.

Speaker 44 Hello Kiki D.

Speaker 43 Hello Elton.

Speaker 42 There's dozens of episodes to catch up on and brand new episodes going out right now. So if you want far far far too many podcasts then look for Sound Teap on maximum fun.

Speaker 39 Boop boop.

Speaker 43 All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show. Let's learn everything.
So let's do a quick progress check. Have we learned about quantum physics?

Speaker 42 Yes, episode 59.

Speaker 43 We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we have. Same episode, actually.
Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Speaker 11 Episode 64.

Speaker 43 So how close are we to learning everything?

Speaker 43 Bad news. We still haven't learned everything yet.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're ruined.

Speaker 43 No, no, no, it's good news as well. There is still a lot to learn.

Speaker 36 Woo!

Speaker 36 I'm Dr.

Speaker 43 Ella Hubber.

Speaker 42 I'm regular Tom Lum.

Speaker 43 I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

Speaker 43 And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Speaker 42 Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Speaker 23 Great news, guys.

Speaker 12 Great, great, great, great, great, great news.

Speaker 12 Our hero is back. What?

Speaker 4 From. Oh, oh, sorry.

Speaker 3 I got to do the intro. I forgot.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 11 I want a munch. Squad.

Speaker 11 I want to munch. Squad.

Speaker 30 Well, the munch squad podcast.

Speaker 3 Welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 4 Profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating.

Speaker 17 One of our favorite heroes of recent history in

Speaker 12 fast food advertising is back.

Speaker 3 You may remember him from the

Speaker 23 Do You Suffer from Need?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Commercial.

Speaker 12 He is a giant buffalo with wings.

Speaker 7 Truly.

Speaker 17 I can't remember who he works for, though.

Speaker 7 He works for Buffalo.

Speaker 38 Yeah, it's weird, huh?

Speaker 21 No, he works for Buffalo Wild Wings and they're in a new

Speaker 3 promo.

Speaker 38 It's the first ever holiday campaign for BW3s.

Speaker 3 Not a brand that you think of necessarily when it comes to the old time.

Speaker 30 Is the theme of it, is your uncle in town?

Speaker 11 Maybe. Probably.

Speaker 25 Please. Do you know this is where

Speaker 27 that's where

Speaker 3 when we were in, I was in Cincinnati filming till death was blart.

Speaker 12 And afterwards, I had to wait for, for, uh, uh, uh, get some food. And I had my, my pal, Tim Bat, with him, and had to take it and do an American eatery.

Speaker 23 And where did I choose?

Speaker 12 That's the right Buffalo wild.

Speaker 7 Did you go to beat up?

Speaker 24 Dude, it went to beat ups because that's the American experience right there.

Speaker 23 No problem.

Speaker 11 It truly is.

Speaker 21 All right, truly.

Speaker 12 Now, so we're going to watch this ad.

Speaker 5 If you haven't listened to this year's Death Blart, it's great. And the videos up on YouTube.
It was an absolute treat.

Speaker 8 We got to spend some quality time with Tim Bat and Guy remotely.

Speaker 13 You ready?

Speaker 32 Yep.

Speaker 39 And that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list.

Speaker 2 Ho, ho, ho,

Speaker 44 Santa, you bad, bad man. Ooh, hey, this Buffalo Wild we've picked six is a real jolly miracle.
A meal for two for $19.99? Nothing better. Dude, off my wings, Blitzen.

Speaker 39 Oh, it's widow pants off.

Speaker 10 Can we pause?

Speaker 44 Hey, knock it off, Antler Cloud.

Speaker 3 This is a good time to pause.

Speaker 12 It is, I will say.

Speaker 8 it's a great time to pause because there's been like five things. One,

Speaker 8 what's a jolly miracle?

Speaker 21 It's a jolly miracle.

Speaker 8 Santa says that like it's a thing that any of us have ever thought about before, like a Christmas, like a happy Christmas.

Speaker 5 I think it's a minced oath, Griffin, where maybe he was going to say it's a fucking miracle.

Speaker 21 A miracle.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Jolly is like, okay, interesting.

Speaker 24 It's a fucking miracle.

Speaker 3 It's also the entire ad is presented in a Rankin-Bass style. So we are being treated to fuzzy burgers, fuzzy wings, and fuzzy Cokes, each more decrepit-looking than the last.

Speaker 23 I really hate looking at these yarn versions of food, guys.

Speaker 25 It's hitting bad for me.

Speaker 8 Dude, think about the mouthfeel of one of those Linton sort of buffalo wings.

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 5 are we not going to talk about how they start it with the punchline of a joke where Santa says, and that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list?

Speaker 7 And they were like, Yeah, this is Ripple, Travis.

Speaker 11 She's like, This is Santa for 2025.

Speaker 12 May we just

Speaker 39 deliver?

Speaker 44 F!

Speaker 44 How am I going to fly my sleigh? It's not like there's a flying mythical beast just hanging around with nothing to do.

Speaker 42 You know I can't fly, right?

Speaker 39 Oh, come on, Hank. You're scratching my sleigh.
I told you I can't fly.

Speaker 39 I can't do it. My wings are decorative.

Speaker 44 You have to believe, Hank.

Speaker 39 Believe.

Speaker 45 oh

Speaker 10 i'm doing it papa so he's flying little hank is doing it i mean it's happening i told you i can find happy holidays to all and to all go to buffalo wild wings

Speaker 8 yeah i don't i don't is there anything visually that you need to i don't want to before we move on because like that was a a lot to take in and it was like it's surprisingly well executed i think at least it's adorable sure for yeah from a visual aesthetic standpoint the thoughts are horrible i think it's i think there's an the thoughts and ideas are horrible and there's an inherent sort of failure to communicate here that is inherent i think to the nature of buffalo wild wings trying to get a hand on the holiday ball i simply don't think it's your purview and i don't think it's this is their first ever one they're trying to get

Speaker 5 a leg in maybe they're making it a holiday thing but here's this is the thing though j-man

Speaker 6 um

Speaker 5 there's nothing in this that is specific to buffalo wild wings besides the fact that they're eating a buffalo wild wings that they're eating a buffalo wild wings and it's a buffalo with wings but even that could have been a different buffalo wing maybe this will help travel restaurant there's no other way i'm right except for wing stop i guess in quaker state and lube

Speaker 44 Is that it?

Speaker 12 There's probably others.

Speaker 17 It's a good point.

Speaker 27 Secondly,

Speaker 12 not any other Buffalo place has the first ever blind box inspired by the ads, which is available exclusively to Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members.

Speaker 7 Is it

Speaker 15 surprised by

Speaker 5 what kind of wings are you getting?

Speaker 15 Is that what you mean?

Speaker 3 They say in the release, it says the brand's iconic buffalo with wings

Speaker 3 is brought into the holiday spotlight in a stop motion short that's styled like a 1950s Christmas special. Definitely, definitely.

Speaker 3 The story opens on Christmas Eve inside a Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 22 Hold on, I just need to double check this.

Speaker 22 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Rudolph the Redo's Radio definitely came out in 1964. So, like, I don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 3 Hank and Santa share a pick six meal for two. And then they describe the ad, which is packed with humor, heart, and unmistakable B-dubs.

Speaker 20 Heart in the heart.

Speaker 11 Let's not touch his heart.

Speaker 7 It's not fast as fuck.

Speaker 3 It's humor, heart, and unmistakable B-dubs energy.

Speaker 15 Okay.

Speaker 8 I will grant you the former. I will say that it made me...
There's an energy to this commercial that felt

Speaker 8 threatening and like very masculine. And so I will also grant you that it does have big B-dubs energy.

Speaker 5 They also showcase just two people getting randomly drunk before work and getting in a fight.

Speaker 19 So I don't know.

Speaker 27 They're not people. They're reindeer.

Speaker 8 So it's the heart.

Speaker 37 So it's Justin.

Speaker 7 Then it's animals getting drunk in a bee in a buffalo wild wigs they're not drunk yeah animals came in and got drunk

Speaker 8 juice listen those reindeer were faded and i know that you have trouble sometimes sort of

Speaker 8 you know giving giving these places the benefit of the doubt but those those two reindeer were like zooted out uh i mean

Speaker 8 uh i don't want to see this hairy food i don't blame you but like

Speaker 16 They got sodas. They clearly have sodas.

Speaker 3 They're not drunk.

Speaker 25 They're just fighting because they're they're dickheads.

Speaker 19 Sure.

Speaker 5 A random fight breaks out between two animals and a buffalo wild wings. And they were like, that's big buffalo wild wings.

Speaker 8 I like this cute Hank, though.

Speaker 11 I like this Hank.

Speaker 16 He's a cute, fuzzy Hank.

Speaker 8 He's way less scary than the other animals would have to be.

Speaker 3 I mean, he would almost have to be.

Speaker 38 To bring the creative.

Speaker 15 Why does Santa say fuck?

Speaker 7 I guess is why you would say fuck.

Speaker 30 I need to read this paragraph because it sucks.

Speaker 11 Please.

Speaker 12 To bring the creative to life for fans.

Speaker 3 That's how it starts.

Speaker 14 Fuck it.

Speaker 30 I love to hear the creative referred to like a

Speaker 19 Buffalo Wild Wings Imagineer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I love to hear the creative referred to like it's a resource in Warcraft.

Speaker 11 Bring the.

Speaker 30 I've got 200 of the creative leash.

Speaker 16 Buffalo. Put it through the mill.

Speaker 30 Put it through the mill and turn it into content.

Speaker 25 Buffalo Wild Wings is introducing a limited edition Hank the Hall's blind box for $20.

Speaker 3 available December 10th exclusively to new and existing Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members.

Speaker 25 They specify new and existing. Presumably, it's not offered to lapsed or banned Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members.

Speaker 8 Do you think there's a restaurant on earth that has a longer list of banned

Speaker 35 lists of Buffalo Wild Wings?

Speaker 8 Do Buffalo Wild Wings have their own sort of enforcers at the like a sort of TSA face scan that they do before you come in? So thorough is their band length.

Speaker 7 Each blind box. Why is it?

Speaker 5 Can I also just say, Hank the Halls is nothing. Yeah, man.

Speaker 7 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 21 Hank the Halls is nothing.

Speaker 17 Each blind box features a felt ornament that brings the campaign to life.

Speaker 3 Starting with the star of the show, the chicken wing ornament, fans will also uncover scene-driven.

Speaker 25 God, I hate reading these words. This is really taking a toll on my spirit.
Scene-driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa Mid-Swear.

Speaker 11 Scene-speaking

Speaker 11 keepsakes.

Speaker 7 Scene-driven from this

Speaker 11 commercial one you just watched.

Speaker 37 Turning the spots.

Speaker 34 Grandmama, Grandmama, where did you get this beautiful ornament of Santa swearing? Oh, that came from a Buffalo Wild Wing blind box on my first date with your grandfather.

Speaker 32 I got very lucky with that bind box.

Speaker 3 Fans will also uncover scene-driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa Midswear turning the spot's funniest moments into holiday decor.

Speaker 8 Jesus Christ, you guys are absolutely glazing this colour.

Speaker 36 Well, of course, that's because it's a cheeky reminder.

Speaker 17 The Buffalo Wild Wings offers more than free food perks. It delivers more memorable rewards and unexpected delights for its most loyal fans.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay.

Speaker 15 This is where I want to

Speaker 5 dive into this for a moment.

Speaker 32 Take your breath, Juice.

Speaker 8 Catch your breath because I can tell this is really hurting you.

Speaker 5 When they talk about Buffalo Wild Wings' most loyal fans, I believe that there are people who enjoy eating at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I'm not saying that's not true.

Speaker 21 But

Speaker 14 when you tell me there are people who are fans of Buffalo Wild Wings to the degree that they will not only get ornaments based on a commercial they've just seen the creative Travis

Speaker 19 but also engage in a blind box roulette scenario.

Speaker 11 The blind box is the most insulting.

Speaker 29 Well,

Speaker 29 can I take a quote?

Speaker 21 Listen, listen, here's a quote.

Speaker 3 Hank to Halls marks Buffalo Wild Wings' first ever holiday campaign and serves to remind our fans that the holidays are a great time to come into our restaurants with friends and family, says Tristan Maline, chief marketing officer of Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 27 The blind boxes are the $20

Speaker 21 blind boxes are our way of saying thank you to our loyal fans with something special.

Speaker 11 It's not.

Speaker 7 Thanks.

Speaker 25 Thanks for 20 bucks for a fucking felt chicken wing dip shit because at B dubs.

Speaker 30 That you might already have.

Speaker 7 That you might already have.

Speaker 34 You've got random. Thank you.

Speaker 8 You're trying to get Santa swearing because it's so irreverent and fucking funny in South Park humor. You keep pulling chicken wings and reindeer.

Speaker 18 You're all you gullible idiot.

Speaker 19 At B-dubs,

Speaker 3 at B-dubs, we're all about celebrating all your social occasions with our unique experience and delicious food and drinks.

Speaker 20 Hey, unique experience.

Speaker 33 Weddings, christenings, funerals.

Speaker 3 Unique experience. That's really interesting, Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 28 Tell me why you had to shut down the Buffalo Wild Wings at the Huntington Mall and reopen as a Buffalo Wild Wings to-go downtown.

Speaker 3 What a great experience that you don't even want me to have.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Sucks.

Speaker 24 While Hank is saving Christmas, guests can pick.

Speaker 22 Sorry.

Speaker 17 While Hank is saving Christmas, guests can save big with this is a real this is where it starts to get into like are they trying to make people insane

Speaker 24 guests can save big with Buffalo Wild Wings pick six meal it's a pick six meal for two starting at $19.99

Speaker 24 with the pick six guests can choose two entrees two sides and two fountain drinks all for $19.99.

Speaker 38 Options include 10 boneless wings, yellow American cheeseburger, or three crispy chicken dippers, pair with fan favorite fries, tots, or wedges.

Speaker 16 Want to upgrade?

Speaker 3 You You could swap in Buffalo Chicken Ranch or Beer Cheese Cheese Steak for just $3 more. $20, guys.

Speaker 25 If that number rings a bell for you, it should.

Speaker 7 Uh-huh.

Speaker 20 Because it's what they're charging you to get a filled chicken wing, maybe in a box

Speaker 11 from a commercial.

Speaker 8 If I say, here's $40,

Speaker 7 head to Buffalo Wild Wings, bring me 300 chicken wings or

Speaker 7 two reindeer fights.

Speaker 5 Yes, honey, I know times have been real tight this holiday season, and our food budget is a little low, but I've made an amazing investment.

Speaker 7 Our last $20.

Speaker 37 This is an investment in the accrual value of collectibles.

Speaker 30 Victoria.

Speaker 19 Now, I haven't opened the blind box yet.

Speaker 7 You can either.

Speaker 5 But the energy off of it tells you that it's cursing Santa.

Speaker 18 Chicken wings tonight, once, or in 20 years, eat chicken wings every night of your life.

Speaker 8 Derek, you've bought 200 boxes. I know the cussing Santa is the chase ornament.
I've got a system, Victoria.

Speaker 29 And as I keep saying, many of the boxes are just loaded with discarded bones.

Speaker 34 I don't know how their system is so faulty.

Speaker 29 They should be looking in the boxes even if nobody else is.

Speaker 13 You have to go in bulk.

Speaker 8 Did you not see Cherry and Marge go large? If you buy 200 boxes, you get at least four cursing Santas. That's where the money is.

Speaker 5 I've been watching all of the YouTube content creators as they've gone through their blind box system.

Speaker 30 This is the meta, darlene.

Speaker 37 Don't you understand?

Speaker 36 Do you not want to watch reindeer fighting on the tree every year?

Speaker 8 God, what a dope tree. If you show up and it's just covered in little tiny reindeer fights from the BW3's collection.
Yeah, I don't know, man. They must have just stumped them into one big palette.

Speaker 8 Then that was just the day I got there. God damn.

Speaker 27 Okay, Thank you so much to everybody who came out to the Candle Knights, the live version.

Speaker 17 But good news.

Speaker 38 If you weren't there, it's not too late.

Speaker 16 You can go to bit.ly forward slash candle nights 2025 and still

Speaker 16 check it totally out.

Speaker 3 It'll be streaming at December 19th at 9 p.m.

Speaker 7 And we're going to be in the chat.

Speaker 12 Correct. Right.
So

Speaker 3 you can still get your streaming ticket for that. And that's going to be a lot of fun.
So make sure you check it out.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's going to be on demand December 19th through January 4th. So you'll have plenty of time to catch it.

Speaker 8 And also all the proceeds still go to Harmony House, which seeks to end the homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

Speaker 12 That link again, bit.ly forward slash candle nights 2025.

Speaker 3 Your support is really, really, really appreciated. So thank you so much in advance.

Speaker 5 Over in the merch store, we've got a dice tray and dice tray bundle with balanced dice and the 2025 candle nights poster and candle nights ornament by Scott Hodch.

Speaker 5 And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Harmony House. So head over to macroemerge.com, check that out.
We get some gifts, I guess, for people or for yourself.

Speaker 5 You're worth it.

Speaker 8 Yep. Hey, do we have a...
Oh, thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better With You.

Speaker 8 I'm so grateful that we're able to

Speaker 8 use that track as the introduction and outroduction of our show because the energy and the vibe is just so choice.

Speaker 8 I've got a fear here, Final Fear, to take us out of the episode, and I'd like to read it.

Speaker 21 Go for it.

Speaker 8 This year, I want to be faster than my fear that there's a second cheese packet in the mac and cheese box.

Speaker 7 You pulled the one out and you don't want to dump it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 16 My name is Justin McElroy.

Speaker 7 I'm Travis McElroy.

Speaker 8 I'm Griffin McElroy.

Speaker 3 This has been my brother, my brother, me.

Speaker 12 Kiss your dad square on the lips.

Speaker 12 It's better with you.

Speaker 12 It's better.

Speaker 12 it's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 12 Cause it's true,

Speaker 12 it's better, it's better with you.

Speaker 12 My life

Speaker 12 all

Speaker 12 It's better with you

Speaker 8 Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.