Rewind with Karen & Georgia - 52: Bonjour, Internet!

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Betrayal Weekly is back for season two with brand new stories.

The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot.

I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me.

I feel trapped.

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He's pretty much a monster.

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Hello.

Hello.

And welcome to Rewind with Karen and Georgia.

That's right.

It's Wednesday, and that means we're recapping one old episode with all new commentary, updates, and of course, emotional insights.

We got to have those.

Today we're recapping episode number 52, which we named Bonjour Internet.

Because we're fucking classy.

That's why.

This episode came out January 17th, 2017.

So we're doing this show for a year, essentially.

And this, interestingly enough, is the first episode ever recorded in the pod loft.

That's right.

That's so exciting.

Let's listen to the intro of episode number 52.

Steven.

Yes.

My god.

It feels like Polder Guys Part 4 or something.

It has a Duran Duran quality to it as well.

Yeah.

Yes.

Steven, look.

We're your mothers, and we're really proud of you.

That was great.

Nice.

Now, what setting was that on?

Bossa Nova.

Bossa Nova.

It's amazing what you can do with that.

Yeah, it was.

So each time it's been like a different drum setting on the Casio.

The first one was Samba.

I really liked that one.

I really thought that was beautiful.

Yeah, thank you.

It was like haunting.

Now, was it a conscious choice to pull your own vocals out and just let it be an instrumental?

I just wanted to, I don't know, I just wanted something with some Glock and Spiel in it.

You wanted to Glock around?

Yeah, I got to pull up that Glock every once in a while.

That was gorgeous.

It's really good.

Yeah.

Karen, do you ever get like, I wrote that song?

Yeah, I get really pissed.

But then I go through all these other emotions.

Like, hungry,

tired, angry,

shut down, entirely shut down.

Yeah, like, oh,

there's a dog over there.

Yeah, distracted.

Right.

Distracted is the final stage of grief.

Distracted by dogs is a special.

No, I love this idea that Stephen's reconnoitering the theme song.

Because

we're probably all a tiny bit.

52, right?

We've heard a sentence.

Oh, yeah.

I mean it's you know we need a refresher.

I like the idea.

And it's a fun like yeah reconnoitering.

We have to reconnoiter.

I've never heard that.

Really Yiddish?

It's

my

Irish grandmother used to say it saying

Yiddish words.

Yeah, no.

She was fluent.

And saying Yiddish words every once in a while.

Do you know what's funny?

I actually just thought of this the other day because somebody was telling a story about maids.

My grandmother was a maid.

She came to this country when she was like 17 and she was a maid in San San Francisco until she got married basically.

A maid, so like a maid.

Yes.

A maid sing for like 15 years.

That should have been.

And one of the places that she

worked in, no, it's not going to be scary, but it's just, she worked for a family that lived in Seacliff, which is like the ritziest part of San Francisco, as you might know.

It's like nobody knows that it's there.

I don't know what that is.

They live there.

You know what it is?

When you're driving over the Golden Gate Bridge to go to San Francisco, the left-hand side is the marina and Fisherman's Wharf and all that stuff.

The right-hand side looks like a forest, but that's actually mansions.

No, I did not know that.

It's hidden mansions.

And so my grandmother was a maid for a family.

Well, she just called them the Jews.

And

she would always say, I think the Jews are nice.

The Jews are a real number.

Oh, I worked for nice Jews.

And then you and I came together.

And you were like, I think the Jews are nice.

I think she cracked the door open of in my mind.

My podcast with a nice Jew.

Grandma, I think you'd be proud about that we're still in cahoots with nice Jews.

And they're still nice Jews.

They're still out there.

What year was that?

Like the fucking 30s, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah,

nobody liked us back then.

Well, nobody liked anybody.

Nobody liked the Irish.

Nope.

Everyone fucking.

That was back when there were signs that say, don't hire the Irish in every store.

They thought that the two of us were a fucking plague on humanity.

And you know what?

They can suck it.

Am I wrong?

I mean, were they wrong or were they wrong?

I mean, who's on top now with the podcast?

Me and you.

Grandma, check it out.

Grandma, let me show you something.

She'd be like, God, I don't like all the talking.

You called her vulgar.

Yeah, she would actually be insanely pissed about

the Fs.

All those Fs.

Oh, the French is what you're saying.

She doesn't like when I speak French because she doesn't like the French.

Stephen, pull it.

Stephen Pullet.

Stephen, take all that out.

Welcome to my favorite murder.

That's a bad start in terms of the racist.

Welcome to my favorite murder.

That Irish person is Karen Kilgara.

And that Jewish person is Georgia Yale Hardstark.

That's the fastest Jewish name I could think.

It's called, it's Georgia Los Angeles City College Dropout Hardstark is actually being more accurate.

I didn't go to Yale.

I meant the

Jewish name, Yale Ya El.

Oh, yeah, like Yael.

Oh, is that how you pronounce it?

Like the gorgeous chick from Orange is a New Black?

Yeah.

Which one?

That's her name.

The one who's like, when me and so-and-so are going to get married, Bora, Bora, Bora.

She is.

Her first name's Yael.

Yael.

And she was in an episode of the show called

Steven.

Help me out here.

Deadbeat.

Okay, it's the show called Deadbeat about a dude who's a drug dealer in Manhattan.

And there's a special episode that's like the dog episode, and it makes no sense.

It's on HBO, I think.

And the people who wrote it were like, this is this episode and sent it to HBO.

And they're like, you can't give us any notes on it.

Like they were heart, which you know is like unheard of.

Like you, they're just like, no notes.

And it is one of the most gorgeous.

Stephen, can you find out what the name of the episode?

Like, it's one of the most gorgeous episodes of television.

Is this a new TV show called Deadbeat?

It's new.

Yeah, it's in its first season, but it's kind of a show.

The episode is just

in the perspective of this dog.

And Yael is the dog walker, and you're just going to fall in love with her.

Like, she's so

anyway.

What are we talking about?

This is a murder.

So, this is a murder podcast.

That's yeah, we're in the inter,

uh, but it's good to know it's pronounced Yael.

That's what I think.

I could be yeah, wrong about that.

Oh, you're asleep?

I'm asleep.

Let's see.

Should we update anything?

Well, this just happened on Twitter as we were like in between

one recording and another.

I looked down at my Twitter and somebody had written, have you heard about the

New Hampshire murder castle?

You guys have to talk about it.

So I immediately.

Sent back a message saying, what are you talking about in all caps?

Because I was like,

there's another murder castle.

Like, how do do I not know about this?

And then he, and then he wrote back, yeah, H.H.

Holmes.

And I was like, oh, that's Chicago.

God damn it.

But then he started laughing and was like, oh my God, you're right.

But apparently, H.H.

Holmes is from New Hampshire.

He was probably just either flipped it or was at the beginning of the story.

He was at the beginning of the book about H.H.

Holmes.

That's actually one of the funniest ones that people ask us about, like, if we know, do we know?

H.H.

Holmes.

And it's like, that one is just like,

it's like asking us if you know about Ted Bundy.

Yeah, we're like, have you ever eaten a McDonald?

It's like, yeah, yeah, I really do.

Amazing chicken.

They're fillet of fish.

Not to be, you know, anything about it, except for how do you, the guy built a murder castle.

You got to know if you're even slightly interested in true crime.

If like Leonardo DiCaprio is even thought about as a main character in this movie, which he is, like, we've probably heard about it.

I would say.

Who do you think would play Ted Bundy?

Well, Greg Kinnear pops to mind.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

Did you come up with that?

I did just now.

I've never thought about that before.

Do you?

No, I was like, I can't think of anyone.

That is perfect.

Because he's kind of got dead eyes.

And he kind of is charming, like, he's not hot enough to be like hot charming, but he's like charming enough to be like hot because he's charming.

You trust that face.

Yeah.

We just have to dye the hair.

And he could become a little, like, the eyebrows need to get a little more pointed.

Yeah, he has to get a little more sinister and probably a little skinnier.

Yeah.

But that guy in like a cable net sweater sweater who's like, please help me to my Volkswagen that doesn't have a passenger seat in it.

You're fucking Greg Kinnear.

You're getting in there.

Dude, what do you got?

The show is called High Maintenance.

Well, that was not even close to what I fucking.

Deadbeat is the one where the guy's roommate was a ghost.

Jesus.

From what?

Oh my God.

I've heard of high maintenance.

High maintenance is really good.

Okay, high maintenance.

High maintenance is what we're trying to say.

Yes, and the episode is called Grandpa.

And it says, when Chase and his sensitive yet fun-loving dog Gatsby move from the suburban Midwest to Queens, culture shock takes its toll

until they cross paths with Beth, a cute, whimsical dog walker.

Yeah, ale.

Yeah, ale.

But this episode has nothing to do with the season.

It's like

the whole show is about this dude, high maintenance, who sells pot on his bike.

And then there's this random dog episode, and he's like, the guy's in it, but he's not.

The episode isn't about him.

And it's just such a gorgeous, listen, everyone has been fucking commenting and being like, thank you for recommending Fleabag.

it was amazing so fucking trust me right now please

they do i know

are you yelling at me no i'm yelling at the fucking

you know i got that wrong so wrong jesus christ uh and you know why bet you like fleabag and then deadbeat almost seems like the beat in between high maintenance and fleabag deadbeat goes right in there high maintenance uh

i just want to know who makes that show that they can go to fucking hbo and say you don't get to give us i I think that they don't care like I think that they're not I don't know like someone I knew who's really cool who makes documentaries was friends with them and they don't give a shit what who is it it's a husband and wife team Ben Sinclair and Katya Bleachfeld huh so they're like fuck you dude we're fucking good yeah it usually doesn't work that way no that's what I'm saying no so that's very cool

you'll cry you know who else did that who um

all of the people who would be I believe, James Burroughs, Matt Groening, everybody who said they were going to make The Simpsons, they went to Fox and said, we'll make this, but you don't get to give us notes.

Like, who were they?

All they had done is the Tracy Allman show at that point, right?

No, no, no.

James Burroughs, he's like legend, right?

Like they had basically,

yeah, they basically said, we'll make this deal with you and all that, but you just can't.

They won't do that again.

They won't.

Until my favorite murder, the comedy TV show.

That's what it's called.

Comes out and we're like, you can't tell us what to do.

And they're like, great.

Well, we're not getting a TV show.

And we're fine.

Fine.

Go ahead.

Sink your goddamn boat.

We got a podcast.

Oh, you know what we even mentioned is that this is the first fucking episode in my new apartment.

Yeah, that's right.

That's what we should be talking about.

We should start with that and how high these ceilings are.

Yes, this is Cathedral S.

I mean, you'd think that if they were going to make ceilings this high, they would also not make them fucking popcorn.

But I guess I'm not an architect, so I don't know.

But however, look,

you can take that out.

You can scrape it off.

You know how much that costs so much money.

I know.

I was just trying to make you feel better.

Thank you, but I don't care.

It's fine.

It looks great.

Also, they're so high up you can't see it.

Okay.

Yes.

Popcorn ceiling and Venetian blinds kill me, but I'm not,

what are they called?

What are those called?

Yeah, I think those are like horizontal or vertical blinds.

Vertical.

Well, anyways, I hate them.

But otherwise, this apartment is amazing.

This is a great apartment.

Yeah, right?

Yeah.

And also, you just moved here.

You're like, you got to get in.

And guess what's going to be nice place I've ever lived in my life.

It's great.

It's really fun.

It's got a good open floor plan.

Yeah.

Good.

When the apocalypse comes, we're on the third floor.

So like we're safe.

The water coming up, the people scratching at the side of the building.

You're safe.

Oh, it's good.

All right.

That's good.

Oh, I forgot to mention this last week when it mattered.

When it had any fucking...

All right, so.

These two dudes who are who were into the podcast messaged us and we're like, hey, we're super in the podcast.

We're writing it.

We are writers on the show, The Real O'Neils.

Will you guys be in an episode?

And Karen was like, I have a day job and have a fucking normal life.

And I was like, I don't.

I'll be on it.

And so I went on and was on it.

And it's on tonight,

which is two days after this is going to hear.

Two days.

Yeah.

Before.

You will be two days after in hearing this.

But you can watch it online.

Please.

That's right.

So

it's these fucking sweet angels, Josh Kirby and John Velis, who like,

they wore, so we recorded this thing and they wore my favorite murder shirts to the fucking recording of this episode.

Like there was a ton of people on set and they, every time someone would meet me and like I was an extra on to, like they didn't have to be nice to me.

And they were like, she has a pocket.

Like they were so nice and wonderful people.

And one of them was fucking Henry Zabrowski's college roommate, which is so insane.

Anyways, I'm on it in a fucking dance sequence and I get my baby stolen and it's it's fun and you want to watch it it check it out go watch Georgia at the Orpheum this Saturday that's right that should be exciting the LA Riot Fest comedy festival uh and we're at the Orpheum Theater should we put it up next week if it doesn't suck yes that should be the that should be the bar

we can have a week off we should try so hard on Saturday so we can have a week off actually yes let's try really hard because I need a week off because work is getting insane.

Are you about to start filming?

The week after, yeah.

Oh, God.

So you're like twisting all the knobs.

What do they call it?

Yeah, we're going to twist some knobs and we're going to push some levers up and then pull them back down.

All that stuff, which is really hard for me.

The stuff I don't like tomorrow.

You can't even chew gum and chew gum at the same time.

Ugh, it's the worst.

Should we, when should like, let's, I was thinking that we could have Guy back on, Guy Brennan back on, whose show you're currently on, yeah.

right uh but what if we like have people write in and ask their legal questions that they're curious about like what the fuck is this thing and that thing like

you have to write it in that sentence though

and then he's like yeah i don't know i don't know what those things are yeah okay oh no no no i was just trying to make a joke um i don't know yeah i think it yeah if we had something specific and like let it through to a certain yeah topic okay we should have him back on them because that was a good episode No, he's great.

Very good.

And then it's like just kind of a fun.

It's fun to have it's third person.

Yeah.

And not tell horrifying murder stories.

Hey, speaking of.

Hey.

Is there anything else you want to?

But wait, you have a story about your Uber driver.

Dude.

That's why I need to write shit down.

Dude.

Oh my God.

Let's start over.

Let me start with this.

Thank you for reminding me.

No, that's why I write things on my list.

My therapist today, I was like,

what's wrong with my memory?

And she was like, well, you're sleep deprived and anxious.

Those will fuck with your memory.

I'm like, okay, I feel good about it, but now I don't feel good about it.

Okay.

So

I got an Uber to go to our cracked podcast live show at UCB, which I think they're going to put up soon,

which was so much fucking fun.

And cracked podcasts is, they're like awesome dudes.

So on my way there, like, doop, do, do, I get picked up.

I fucking, first, I'm leaving a party and

I shame Vince and Joe DeRosa for like saying goodbye and like leaving me there to wait for an Uber.

I don't know why I'm saying that.

I'm just shaming them.

So I get picked up by this dude who looks like he could murder me, but he ended up being super fucking cool.

He looks like he goes, he looks like he goes outside of Burning Man.

You know what I mean?

Like he stays near

real outside.

Yeah, like he can't afford tickets and he like sells drugs outside of Burning Man.

But like, I feel safest around those people more than like normal people.

Those are your people.

Yeah, sure.

Those Burning A Man outside people.

Yeah.

So he's like, so what are you going to UCB for?

And like shitty chat, the way I hate Ubers do.

And then I was like, oh, you know, I'm just, I have this podcast.

And he was like, what is it about?

I'm like, oh, murder.

And, you know, kind of like slowly got some out of it.

And then he was like, oh,

hey,

what's funny, I grew up a couple doors down from John Wayne Gacy.

So I was like, wait, what?

And I was like, right around the time, he's like, uh-huh, I went to a party where my friend had him as a clown at our party.

Wait, he was a kid?

He was a kid.

His friend hired John Wayne Gacy to be a clown.

Pogo the Clown.

Pogo the Clown at his birthday party.

And he said that,

yeah, he, like, John Wayne Gacy would come to their school and watch wrestling matches.

And

I was like, Well, wasn't it weird?

And he was like, Yeah, everyone knew it was weird that this guy was into it, but he would then bring them back to his house and his wife.

And I was like, Wait, he had a wife?

He's like, Yeah, yeah.

He would bring them down.

And then what you've told me before is how he would be like, Let's have this wrestling thing.

I'm going to put you in handcuffs.

Yeah.

He like knew, he knew all that because that happened to people in his town.

And his wife would just be like, Oh, he brought these kids down with him and they never came back up.

Whatever.

Yeah, that's the wife that eventually left him because she just kept that kept happening.

And she's just like, this is so weird.

She got to go.

Calling the cops, she was just like, goodbye.

She didn't know what was going on down there.

It was just kind of like it's not going to be.

Don't lose someone with not like knowing what's going on.

Oh, yeah.

It was the 70s.

I think people did that all the time in their marriages.

Like, we're going to go have man time in our man cave downstairs.

And she's like, okay, I'm going to bed.

But with children, like, if she was suspicious enough to leave him,

she should have told the cops of her suspicions.

I can't speak to this at all.

I don't know.

Anyways, so yeah, like on my way to a fucking.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

You know what I mean?

Like, should have not married him to be gay.

You married a clown.

Look, listen.

Look and listen.

Look, learn.

The handcuffs.

Alone.

Get out of there.

Yeah.

Like, no, the going to wrestling matches and having kids over for wrestling alone.

Like, if men started doing that, I'd be like, well, this isn't going to.

This will not stand.

You're going to prison.

You'd be like, one hand on the hip.

Hey, listen, mister.

Yeah, goodbye.

9-1-1 on the other hand.

Well, that's awesome.

I mean, that's the magic of getting into just anyone's car.

Try it.

Everyone, give it a shot.

That's why we have this podcast.

Get into people's cars.

It was kind of funny, though, because on my way, of course, Georgia got there before me because I was late.

And on my way, I was texting, like, I'm on my way here, whatever.

And then Georgia texts my Uber driver used to live across the street from John Wayne Gacy.

And then I was like, you are lying.

And I just, all my responses were accusing her of

her like I make shit up all the time I just wouldn't accept it this is not the truth and I was like I'm not fucking kidding

the other thing I was gonna say is and I want to say that I was trying to look up the name but I realized I was being rude to you so I just put my phone down but I'm pretty I want to say her name is Marjorie

I don't think that's right though but

we have a person who listens to our podcast and loves it and also who comes to mine in April's improv lab show every month, which we really appreciate because God knows you don't want an empty room at the improv lab.

It's a real good time.

But anyway, there's a girl that I met there on our first business class and who was like, love the podcast, blah, blah, blah, and has come been super supportive.

Well, I walked in

to the last show we did, and there's like kind of an entranceway at the

improv where people stand around smoke and talk or whatever.

And she's just sitting at a table with her friends.

And just as I walked by, she just held out her hand and

handed me three decks of cards.

So I stopped and I was like, hey, what's going on?

And then I look and they're the cold case cards that we were talking about on the podcast.

And she got them for us.

We all got a pack.

And we got two Floridas and a Connecticut, I believe.

They're the cards.

Excuse me.

They're the cards that the law enforcement would, like deck of cards, of playing cards that the law enforcement would give to

inmates to play cards with, but there would also be cold cases of like murders and all these things on each one, like explaining them, hoping that

one of the people in prison would recognize them or feel like impelled, impelled?

Compelled.

Thank you.

In prison and compelled.

I just made those into one word.

You just combined it.

To talk.

Which was a good idea.

And when you look at them, it's kind of creepy, but then it's also fascinating.

Like you just want to look at every single card.

Sorry, Stephen just handed me her name.

And it is Miranda.

Same thing.

Miranda.

What did I say?

Like Miranda writes.

Maribel, some horrible thing.

Miranda, thank you so much for

thinking of us and getting the thing that we were so excited to even talk about.

Yeah, no, it's super cool.

It was basically, this is like the partner item to the

murder cards that we were the baseball cards that we were looking at that Stephen got for us for Christmas.

I mean, we're just going to keep fucking compiling cards.

We just love cards.

Hallmark.

Paint.

That's it.

Chip.

Yep.

Cards.

Yeah.

All right.

That's all our business, right?

I think so.

Has it been 45 minutes yet?

We got to hit that mark.

Cut half that out, Stephen.

Okay, we are back.

I mean, it's like the true crime loop that we're always in where I'm referencing, like, you know, Greg Kinnear needs to play Ted Bundy.

Right.

Since that time, Zach Efron has played Ted Bundy.

I still think that Greg Kinnear would have been a great contender because he's so like, his face gives you a softness, a soft feeling.

He has like the kind eyes and the kind of tinted eyebrows of a like concerned Christian man.

Yeah, which is like not to say that Ted Bundy did, but I think that would get across the point, which is he was a a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Yes.

And Zach Afrin did a great job, but he definitely just like he played more wolf than sheep, I felt.

Yeah, because he's Zach Afron was hot from age eight, which I am sorry to say, but it's like the reason that we know about him is, I know that's very questionable, but

let's do an immediate corrections corner.

I shouldn't have said that.

But what I'm saying is, it's like a vibe, and the vibe has to be, I will not hurt you.

That's the problem with Ted Bundy, is he came off as the fair isle sweater, caring, concerned.

I'm volunteering for a suicide hotline.

Totally.

I'm doing the dishes after your party for you.

No one suspects me, even when they're a female cop who works alongside you and hears that it's a guy in a yellow bug.

And our girl and rule was like, can't be my friend, Ted.

No way.

Cannot be him.

I mean, it's a really good point, too, because like the hotter the actor playing Ted Bundy is, the easier you're like, of course she went with him.

He's hot.

But Ted Bundy wasn't hot.

It wasn't like that.

It wasn't like that.

I want to see it as like how we convince ourselves that everything is fine because this person doesn't seem threatening.

I do think that.

Greg Kinnear going in that direction would be really interesting, like that kind of, that kind of actor.

Just maybe an unknown, you know, an unknown.

Or, you know, in 10 years, we'll get a chance to do this again and we'll pull old Kinnear out of the mothballs because I think he is like semi-retired.

I think he's, he is the kind of person that would be done with Hollywood even better for that kind of casting where it's like, Just he wants nothing to do with the trappings of fame.

Great, get in here because that's the vibe behind this guy.

Is you look at this person.

Yeah, you're like, this guy, my parents would love him.

That's the trick of fucking Ted Bumby.

Totally.

The promise of when you think you've got the best boyfriend and he is the literal devil.

That's exactly it.

Okay, that's amazing.

Okay, so we're in my fucking pod loft for the first time.

I mean, do you remember getting that apartment and what?

I remember how excited you were, but I don't want to speak for you.

What was that transition like for you?

Yeah, it was really wild.

Vince and I stayed at our original apartment and I stayed there before I met him longer than I necessarily needed the rent control for.

Yeah.

Like that's originally why I moved in.

I could afford it without the boyfriend I had been seeing at the time.

And so I was like, this is the only apartment I can afford without him because, you know, things were going okay with the cooking channel stuff.

So when we've just waited, it was that feeling of like, okay, we have some money and some savings now, and Vince has a good job and everything, but it could all come crashing down.

Let's not get rid of this apartment.

Yes.

It was like, I think like $1,250 a month rent controlled.

So like stepping up and getting that apartment, which was like the nicest apartment either of us have ever lived in.

Yeah.

It had like all the trappings.

It had like, it was like modern.

Yes.

It was cool.

Air conditioning and a dishwasher.

And like down the hall were like multiple laundry facilities.

There was a pool.

Elevator.

Complex.

There was an elevator.

There was a ceiling.

High ceilings.

High popcorn ceilings.

But it was very exciting, I think, for both of us to be like experiencing.

It felt like the first material thing that I could show for the success of the podcast.

And it was very, very exciting.

Very exciting.

It was what I like to call the Jefferson's effect, where you were moving on up and you actually were like, this isn't, it's not like what we all do, which is like you roll the dice, you use a credit card, who knows what's going to happen.

Instead, you were like, I'm going to be as careful as possible and I still get to make this move.

Right.

Right.

Like it won't be the end of the world if we have to like downsize again.

Yes.

Yeah.

It won't be, you won't be totally fucked, but you also

aren't really rolling the dice in a real way.

Also, if you want to see George's apartment in the downstairs, because I think there's plenty of pictures of the pod loft, but when we did that entertainment weekly spread, the whole photo shoot was in the downstairs of George's apartment.

Right.

Right.

And then I also want to give a shout out to Josh Kirby and John Bealies for putting me on the real O'Neills, the show they were, they like wrote us apart and you couldn't do it.

And I was like, well, I'm doing it.

Yeah.

And it was just so much fun and they were so sweet.

And they ended up casting me in another thing when they were then writing on Fresh Off the Boat.

So they've just been,

they're like my uncles.

They've just, even though I'm older than them, I think they've just been really supportive.

Yeah, that's really nice.

I remember that was, I was still on

baskets, I think, at that point.

And I was like, you were like, hey, we could do this thing.

And I'm like, I can't though.

Like,

I can't do another job.

I can't do another job.

And also, I understand why you're excited.

I literally spent all of the 90s on fencing trying to do this.

I never want to go back.

It was so exciting for me because I had done it in the 90s as in early 2000s as a background actor, which you just get treated like cattle.

It's really fun, but you are almost a waste of space until they yell action.

Yeah.

So going on there as like a person with a line with lines and a little part, like I got to be put in a trailer.

I got an omelette.

Like I'll never forget when I was, when I was an extra and I didn't have money for food.

So you'd go on, you'd be there like 14 hours a day and you'd eat the craft services, but the craft services for the extras was not great.

And I remember going to crack a hard-boiled egg and peel it and just the whole, all the whites peeled off completely with the shell.

It was so depressing in a weird way.

You peeled an egg down to the hardened yolk?

Because it was so poorly boiled and so cheaply bought that the best of the how would you do that on the food network

well this is depressing this is sad this makes me sad you know as i crack what i thought was the shell of this hard-boiled egg the white comes off as well the entire thing just and i'm left with a chalky yellow globe

yeah that was and so i got an omelet and it just kind of that felt like full circle because they actually like when you are a member of the cast cast, when you have a line, the craft service people are like, what would you like?

Anything you'd like.

You can have anything.

And yeah, that was Willy Wonka shit.

And the inside.

Sad yellow yolk.

Chalky yolk to a beautiful omelette.

You truly had that.

That's truly.

That is, I truly had.

That's a metaphor.

Okay, should we do, we get into the main, the stories of this episode.

Georgia goes first on this episode.

This is her story about how the Amber Alert System was founded.

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What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth?

Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you.

Listen to Shock Incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I think you're first.

All right.

Right.

I'm going to take it.

I'm going to fucking take it.

Take it and do it.

Limit.

Love it.

Limit.

To the limit.

Close time.

Yes.

What was the theme?

Can you think of the tune?

Yes.

Hold on.

Cause my mom worked there for a

Wait,

start it.

Something, something.

I went to see The Golden Girls Live,

which is Drew Drozi, Jackie Beat, Sam Pancake, Sherry Vine.

Unbelievable word-for-word reenactments of

Golden Girls episodes.

I saw it on Instagram, but I don't know what it is.

You have to go.

It's so funny.

I told Joe DeRoso about it because he is obsessed with The Golden Girls.

Oh, my God.

And he was like so mad that he hadn't gone.

Hallelujah.

Scott, he has a Golden Girls podcast.

Have you met him?

He's the best.

No.

You got to bring him.

But in between the scenes, they go to real like mid-80s commercials.

And so there was the Shasta commercial.

Iwana Pop, Iwana, Shasta.

There were all these commercials.

Remember the

bubble gum

one with two twins?

Double bubble.

Double Mint.

Double Mint Gum.

It's a statement of the great mint from Double Mint Gum.

Close.

The reason I remember Close Time is because my mom worked for them and they had

commercial where the like cute hot model would walk out and like kick her leg and like keep walking.

I was like, clust time.

And so my mom told, I came home crying one day.

It was like I was walking out of a meeting and I tried to do the like class time kick like as a cute joke to end in.

And she like put my skirt caught and

her skirt was too tight and she just kicked both of her legs out.

And fell down.

Oh no.

That's such a Georgia move.

So I cannot think of close time without my mom kicking her fucking legs up.

Close time is like the place where we'd beg my mom to take us.

And she'd be.

She'd get shoulder pads.

She would be exhausted from work and we'd be like, I just need one shirt.

And you'd want to like shop the whole store.

And my mom would be like, five more minutes.

I'm like going crazy.

These cheap hangers and these like sad metal fucking racks.

And nothing ever fit me.

It was correct.

Everything was too small where I'd be like, I want these tiny pants.

But I couldn't wear anything.

For us, that was Mimi's cafe, and my mom would order a fucking glass of wine from the poor fucking hostess who couldn't serve wine and just sit in the fucking waiting area.

Oh, waiting for a table.

Just chug wine.

Cool, moms.

Anyway.

Oh, wow.

Where are we?

What's happening?

Has it been 45 minutes yet?

Okay.

We're almost there.

I'm about to blow my nose on my shirt.

Really?

She actually confirmed.

Can you confirm?

I don't have a

Can everyone confirm that that was a woman?

I don't have a tissue.

She doesn't give a fuck.

It was either my shirt or my cat that was on my lap when I chose my shirt.

All right,

all right, here we go.

All right, so remember,

and we'll take it too, but no,

not the same thing, not the same thing.

All right,

So

last week I talked about Megan's.

This is your serious voice.

With clearly I'm about to, there's a cross-eyed cat staring at me the whole time.

Megan's Law.

Talked about that.

Right.

So then I was like, hey, what's another one of those that like we don't know the history of?

So

January 17th in 1996, which is exactly 21 years ago today.

So nine-year-old Amber Hagerman is riding her bike in the parking lot of an abandoned Winn-Dixie in Arlington, Texas, and she's with her five-year-old brother.

Have you been to a Winn-Dixie?

No.

I haven't.

Have you been to an abandoned parking lot?

Kind of, but just the idea of it, it simply would not happen.

Like today?

Not since

95.

I feel like this, this idea of children alone even anywhere.

I think that it took a lot of small towns a while to catch up.

Right, because people thought, oh no, not here, and it's safe here and stuff.

But like these days, never, never, they wouldn't allow people, like children in an abandoned parking lot, they would like to

get off, right?

Or like you wouldn't be able to get off.

But also, anyone passing by would call the police.

If there was two, a five-year-old and a seven-year-old riding their bikes, it would be like a major.

Okay.

Well, here's why.

Yep.

But here's, okay.

So they were about two blocks from their grandma's grandma's house.

It was broad fucking daylight.

And someone drives into the parking lot, grabs Amber off of her bicycle.

Like they didn't even try to like, he just grabs her and drives her away in his black pick truck.

There's one witness to step forward.

And he was a neighbor.

His name was Jim Cavell.

He's a 78-year-old retiree, witnesses the whole thing, and calls the police right away.

And he says, she was by herself.

I saw this pickup.

He pulled up, jumped out, and grabbed her.

When she screamed, I figured the police ought to know about it, so I called them.

That's so fucking Arlington, Texas.

Like, well, figured the cop should know.

He was nearby, about

and so he, this is what how he described the person: that he was a white or Hispanic male, 25 to 40, under six feet tall, medium-build, driving a late 1980s or early 1990s model, full-size, American-made black truck.

And then, so

Amber's brother, Ricky, goes home, tells his parents what happened.

They're freaking out.

In the abandoned parking lot of the Winn-Dixie, there's also a laundry, laundromat.

And I guess it was full of customers, but police thought that a lot of them were in the country illegally.

And so when the cops fucking swarmed, they got the fuck out of there.

Yeah.

And there was a truck that was similar to that of the kidnapper spotted outside before she was taken, outside of the laundromat,

but no one ever came forward and said that they know who it was.

And there was a $75,000 reward that also had the promise that they wouldn't be deported if they came forward with information, but no one ever came forward.

There's a huge search, and then four days later,

a security guard who's walking his dog late at night stumbles upon the nude body of of Amber.

She's in a creek behind an apartment complex, which is less than five miles from the grocery store parking lot.

Amber only has on a sock on her right foot,

and an autopsy reveals that her kidnapper had kept her alive for two days.

And she was beaten and sexually assaulted, and then her throat was slashed, and she was dumped behind the apartment complex, which like makes you think that he lived there or at least knew someone who lived there and was staying in town and

had some time alone there.

Like, I don't think it would be someone who actually lives there because it's too obvious.

Yeah, it wouldn't make a lot of sense.

Yeah, like you're staying.

You're going to go out your back door.

Right.

Yeah.

You're staying at your brother-in-law's apartment while he's out of town.

And yeah.

So after the funeral, a woman named Diana Simone,

she's just a random woman.

She's a massage therapist and a mother, and she's from Dallas, and she fucking calls a radio station, and she's like, Hey, if you guys can alert the public to severe weather, why the fuck can't you do the same thing for when children are abducted?

She's just like, put some shit together, and she's like, What the fuck?

Yeah.

Wait, say her name again?

Her name is Diana Simone.

Yeah.

So she's a badass motherfucker.

And she says, and I wish I could do this in a fucking Dallas accent, but I don't want to be insulting, that she says,

they're saying Amber was taken at four o'clock in the afternoon, thrown in a pickup truck, and driven somewhere, and that nobody saw anything.

And then she says, I'm sorry, that's not possible.

The problem was not that people didn't see them, it's that they didn't know what they were seeing.

Yeah.

So nine months after Amber's death, radio stations and law enforcement officials in North Texas launch what they call America's Missing Broadcast Emergency Response, or Amber Alerts.

They relay reports of kidnappings to the public.

It's an emergency response system that

disseminates information about a missing person, usually a child, by media broadcasting or electronic roadway signs.

As of December 23rd, 2015, there have been 800 children rescued and returned specifically because of Amber Alert.

But unfortunately, Amber Hagerman's abduction and murder has never been solved.

Oh, no.

I know.

And her mom, Amber's mom says, I know Amber would be very proud of this.

She was always another mommy to all my children, but I also want people to remember Amber that she had to sacrifice her life for Amber Alert.

So like, mom isn't like,

you know, empowered and proud of this shit.

She's fucking,

she's, it's bittersweet for her.

You know, like, why did her have, why did her daughter have to be the fucking namesake of this?

Her child died, yeah.

So sad.

All right.

So it's never been solved, but after I did some like sleuthing,

the thing I found that the only

like connection to an actual person that could possibly be involved that I found

was, okay, so

in 2010, DNA

identified a man that 25 years ago

had kidnapped,

sexually assaulted, and slit the throat of eight-year-old Jennifer Jennifer Shuett.

And Jennifer survived.

Wow.

And I wrote, and kicked major ass at healing and working on herself.

She's made it her life's mission to speak out on behalf of victims.

After her, Jennifer's attack, she lay dying in this fucking field of her.

That's an eye survived.

Yep.

Have you seen her with the pink?

She's got like pink hair and she's kind of like punking goth.

And the guy took her out of her bedroom through the window.

Oh, dude.

And I know.

Okay.

She, I mean, this chick is like the epitome of like,

here's how you get back your life.

Yeah, big time.

She's amazing.

Yes.

So she was in the field at eight years old for 12 hours before she was discovered.

And in her hospital bed, she had to scribble notes to the police.

And she said that her attacker said her name, his name was Dennis.

And she wrote, she did this amazing sketch.

Like she was fucking on it.

And in it, she was like,

I knew I was going to die and I was going to get every little information, like bit of information burned into my head.

And it turns out that the dude was a 40-year-old welder from North Little Rock, Arkansas.

He had a wife and three kids,

and his DNA was on file

because he had been like, he has a fucking rap sheet of assaulting and kidnapping women.

There's a ghost train going by my fucking new apartment.

Okay.

So he had been, he had been,

you know, the normal arrested for rape and assault and only got this many months and in one case a weekend in prison for for rape for it got you know bargained down to pled down to like

you know bullshit stuff.

So he had never actually been really

convicted of kidnapping, blah, blah, blah.

He confesses to kidnapping, raping, and trying to kill Jennifer Schuett.

Her body was,

she was lying naked on her back on top of a fire ant nest.

14 hours later, she woke up covered in fire ants.

She couldn't move.

She tried to scream.

Something about the fire ants, though, kept her alive, and I don't know.

I don't remember what it is.

I think if I'm remembering this correctly, because this is another one that's like, crazy, I survived.

If you can see it, she's one of those people, like you said, the way she talks about it, you're like badass.

Yeah, like there's a, you know, I think something inside of you.

Yeah, when you're losing a lot of blood, you're not supposed to go to sleep, like, so you don't lose consciousness.

Yeah.

And I think they kept her awake.

Oh my god.

No, no, no.

I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure.

You just watch her eyes survived.

Look up Jennifer in whatever city in Texas this is because she tells the story.

It's chilling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So she's, so he gets arrested

for all of this, which is so similar.

And this was in

Texas, and she had been kidnapped from a Texas apartment.

So, I mean, it's so similar.

I don't think they have DNA from Amber's body, so there's really no way to tie it together.

And unfortunately, this motherfucking dicksucker killed himself in 2010.

But he had confessed,

and she says, you chose the wrong little 45 pound eight year old girl to try and murder because for 19 years I've thought of you every single day and helped search for you and every year that's passed has given me more strength and drive for when I finally would be face to face with you as I am today in his sentencing she said uh but motherfucking Bradford hanged himself in his cell and uh that's it and I mean so he went to jail for that attack he did oh that's good and he's killed himself yeah

so I mean it's just such a similar, an eight-year-old girl that he kidnapped

a part, slit her throat, left her for dead.

This one happened to survive in Texas, you know, in the 90s.

It's just, so Amber,

another like person who's done a lot, but at the expense of their life.

He looked bummed.

What's that?

He looked bummed.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

It is a bummer, but I think it's an important story.

Yeah, and it's horrifying that he was never found.

Like, what the fuck?

Well, yeah.

Like, there were.

I was really surprised that you said that because

that I know of that little girl because of Amber alerts.

And so I just completely assumed that that was a fully like a case that came all the way around and that there was a prosecution for it.

And that was part of it.

Those two case, that one and Megan's lots, like

they're more horrifying than you would expect them to be and uh

they've done a lot but it's just so heartbreaking yeah and like it's so awful awful but we should also know about it and honestly like i when i got my cell phone i like turned off the amber alert you can turn off the like emergency alerts on your phone and it made me want to turn mine back on because like

i'm good i am i'm going to like what if you fucking see a fucking you know well and also what's the problem you know yeah what what does it take it's not it it's not like interfering with your life, whatever.

And it's just so they had so much information to go on based on that truck that,

you know, that there was a system set up.

They didn't find her

is scary.

And I feel like someone knows their brother-in-law or ex-brother-in-law or cousin or uncle,

you know, is suspicious, but don't want to come forward.

Yeah.

Like it's always that, you know,

or your other guy.

Yeah.

But someone, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that's a good one.

Yeah.

Okay.

That was a very, very tough story.

Do you have updates for it?

I do.

I have some updates.

Unfortunately, Amber Hagerman's murder remains unsolved.

In the three decades since Amber's abduction, police have received over 7,000 tips.

Wow.

Arlington Police Sergeant Grant Gilden told People Magazine that they continue to receive leads, several of which they investigate extensively.

It's also never been considered a cold case, as it's never gone 180 days without a lead coming in, which I guess is what they classify a cold case on.

I do wish they would, I mean, maybe they could release more evidence, another little piece of the puzzle.

So someone out there might put it together, but I am not in law enforcement.

Also, I would be very interested, I bet you, just knowing the online sleuthing world and the way people dedicate themselves to specific cases, I bet you there is a solid group of online sleuths who are trying, who are probably the ones that are calling in with that new information or trying to push that cold case forward.

But if you gave them one more little piece of the puzzle, like it reminds me of Michelle McNamara's book, I'll Be Gone in the Dark.

She sent away for some cufflinks that she found at a like thrift store online that sounded like a pair of cufflinks that had been stolen from one of the victims' houses.

Like that kind of thing

is so intricate and interesting.

And I just, you know, I think there's a lot of those out there that could be helped with stuff like that.

Yeah, for sure.

So Gilden believes the killer is still alive, and police remain hopeful that recent advancements in DNA testing and new tips from the public will help solve the case.

Amber's mother, Donna Williams, still lives in Texas and she's a child safety advocate.

Today, Amber alerts are used in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, parts of Indian Country, Puerto Rico, the U.S., Virgin Islands, and over 45 countries.

And yes, I put it on my phone finally.

So rest assured.

Great.

Yeah.

I mean, that deep tragedy that then begins to represent advocation for missing children and children at risk is a beautiful, you know, kind of testament to Amber's mother's work.

Definitely.

And it's just, I'll never forget that the woman who called into the radio station and said, we get alerts about weather.

There has to be a system for missing children.

And like, what a simple idea.

That's just a huge revelation.

Yeah.

What an incredible legacy to have.

Also, and then now there's also silver alerts, which I get on my phone when people with dementia walk away from their houses, which is really important.

That happens a lot.

And that legacy grows with that kind of like looking out for each other, an organized looking out for each other.

It's beautiful.

Absolutely.

And so, also, according to the National Center for for Missing and Exploited Children, as of December 31st, 2024, this past December, at least 1,268 children have been recovered due to the activation of an Amber Alert.

So, amazing.

The legacy is there.

Yeah, that's huge.

All right, let's get into Karen's awful, awful story about Luca Magnata.

Um,

well, mine is super gross and upsetting.

But it's, I feel like it's always a tiny bit better when we, when it's not a child murder.

Yeah.

Right?

Those are the ones that just get us.

I'm sorry.

I know, but I think they're important.

Of course.

I mean, it's horrifying.

There's no like, what?

Yes, they are definitely important.

Like, I'm apologizing because it's like.

It's a hard thing to talk about in here.

So this one is, we have gotten so many tweets about it and so many requests to do this one that I was like, who the fuck is this guy that people keep on being like, how could you not have done this yet?

And so I started looking into it and there are so many, it is so detailed that what I did was tapped old Sarge Morris.

No, you did it.

And I was like, can you help me do research?

Yeah, that's right.

That's not going to make any sense until the week after this episode.

I don't care.

By then, it's going to have caught like wildfire.

Sarge Morris over here.

So That's awesome.

Yeah.

So

this is Stephen A.

Morris's research,

but it's such a good story and it's super intense.

It's the story of Luca Magnata.

The Canadian.

Yes.

Dude.

Dude.

Dude.

Tell me everything.

We always think the Canadians are so chill.

Sweet angels.

With their maple syrup and their flags.

Yeah.

But not this specific one who was born Eric Clinton Kirk Newman on July 24th, 1982 in Scarborough, Ontario.

When he was 21,

we don't know that much about his childhood, but when he was 21, we know that he started stripping in a Toronto club and appearing in low-budget gay porn.

So not a glamorous life.

And that was in 2003 and 2004.

He was convicted of impersonation and fraud after he befriended a mentally

incapacitated 21-year-old woman, applied for credit cards in her name, and charged up $10,000 in fees.

So this guy's got some fucking

straight off the 21-year-old bat-ish

use.

Issues.

Issues.

Some serious

issues.

I would say narcissism was going to be in there

at some point.

Sociopathy.

Perhaps a sociops.

Throw them all in there.

So he was, before he was sentenced to nine months of community service and 12 months probation, his lawyer actually showed the court a medical record claiming that he had significant psychiatric issues.

Wow, who can?

I want to read those reports so bad.

I know.

Like details.

Yeah.

Like some psychologist is sitting there in a fucking room with him and they're like, oh shit.

Dude, I'm going to underline significance.

Yeah.

This person just like tried to get some money off a person, but this motherfucker is like.

This motherfucker is manipulating

mentally handicapped people to get credit cards and has like yes, okay.

That's enough.

So, this is just we're laying down a base coat.

Like when you do your nails, this is the primer.

This is like when you're making, when you're making something and you put in the, what's the thing with the, you know, the carrots and the celery and the roux.

Not a roux is the like

sauce.

No, you're right.

Listen, I I have a cooking.

No, I don't.

Listen, I'm from the cooking channel.

A roux.

Okay, so then in.

No, wait, no.

It's mirepoix.

A mirepoix.

A rou.

You cut it, the onions.

Yes.

A roux is the...

Yes, so, okay, the...

A roux the start of something else?

Like a bechemal sauce.

Great.

I was like, wow.

It's been a while.

Okay, so in 2006, he legally changes his name from Eric Clinton Newman to Luca Rocco Rocco Magnata.

So that's a completely made-up name.

Why did he?

Which I love it.

He wanted to seem Italian.

You know how Italians are.

So he applies for bankruptcy in March of 2007, saying,

citing illness, lack of employment, insufficient income to pay off his debts.

Hey, we've all been there.

But then after the bankruptcy, his quest for fame kicks into high gear.

He was questing for fame?

He's questing for fame in a big way.

So he wants money.

He wants to live Sheila E's glamorous life.

Like you and I know like at this point, like the fame isn't like what people say it is.

Stean, cut that part out.

Fame is still a popcorn ceiling, man.

You got to get that popcorn ceiling life.

Okay, so here's what he does.

He auditions for a reality show called Cover Guy.

Oh.

You can see the opening credits now.

No.

No, no, I'm saying in your mind.

Cover guy.

He declares in his casting video that, quote, a lot of people tell me I'm devastatingly good looking.

You know, that shit would sell now, but like whatever year that was, everyone's like, what is this shit?

What are you doing?

He was not chosen.

He was a reject from CoverGuy.

From CoverGuy.

What'll break your heart more?

Then, well, this, that he auditions for the reality show Plastic Makes Perfect.

Oh, no.

Flaunting his multiple hair transplants, nose job, explaining how he wanted to get pectoral implants.

He was rejected.

Yeah.

Explain my face right now.

So it's just not, the fame plan is not going

as expected.

To get rejected from the bottom of the barrel, like you know, is the bottom of the barrel show.

You're not good enough for a plastic surgery show.

Yeah.

So

then what he started to do was focus his efforts online.

So he

twice created Wikipedia pages for himself,

only to have them taken down by the self-policing community.

Imagine what was on those.

It's Wikipedia.

Imagine

the self-policing community is like,

they let so much shit fly and then they're like, this fucking idiot.

Not this guy.

Not this fucking idiot.

Then he created the rumor on message boards that he was dating Carla Homolka, the, yep, the wife of Paul Bernardo, who killed two teenagers along with raping and murdering her own sister.

Oh my God, this is how, okay, I did not understand.

I, in my mind, whenever I saw people write this thing, I thought he

was Paul Bernard.

I think I got these whole thing, like these whole things confused.

So this is exciting.

So this is a guy who he creates the rumor on message boards that he is dating her.

But he's not the one who killed her sister.

No.

That's her husband.

I thought he was.

He really did that.

Then Then the husband goes to jail.

Okay, okay, okay.

She, I think, goes to jail for a while, but then gets out.

Gets out, right?

And then he decides to tell people he's dating her now that she's out

to get that kind of infamy.

That's the level of celebrity he's going for now.

Yeah.

But then he calls into a radio show to deny the rumors that he started online.

Then he visits a newsroom in Toronto.

And that's the first time he's on mainstream press talking about it and denying it.

Oh, sorry.

He said he dated her in the 90s,

not when she got out of jail.

All right.

So

then

there's many profiles on various internet, social media, and discussion forums created over several years to plant false or unverified claims about him.

And

he would himself immediately dismiss these as rumors and hoaxes and a campaign of cyber stalking.

According to the police, Magnauta set up at least 70 Facebook pages and 20 websites under different names.

70 Facebook pages?

Can you imagine how many naps that is?

I mean,

how many other things could you have been doing?

Naps.

In 2010, this is the part where it's going to turn and you're going to get upset.

Okay.

Do children get murdered?

In 2010, he posted a video called One Boy, Two Kittens.

Oh, no.

Where he asphyxiated two tabby cats

using a vacuum cleaner.

Yeah, and a plastic bag.

This is why I've never heard of him.

And until he was tracked down, he was just known as the vacuum kitten killer.

How does that even work?

So he put...

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

That was a big jump from 70 Facebooks.

I know.

Well, here's the thing.

All that other stuff isn't working.

So he keeps doing things attempt after attempt after attempting to

care.

No,

it is.

Right.

So then he's because he's a sociopath, because he doesn't really care and he doesn't have any empathy.

Jesus Christ.

He does that.

Oh my God.

Okay.

Okay.

Now we're in 2012 and it is May 26th and a Montana lawyer named Roger Renville sees a bizarre internet video depicting a a man being stabbed and dismembered.

He alerts U.S.

and Canadian police about this video, and they dismiss it as a fake.

He just saw it like where?

It was posted, so it was uploaded.

It was called

One Lunatic, One Ice Pick, and it was uploaded to two gore sites,

which were super explicit places that were just like super violent.

I love that this guy who's like on gore sites is like, this is too much for me.

Like, what, you know, like, it had to be that awful.

Well, he's a lawyer, so maybe he was looking on there for this reason.

Okay.

Well, because he reported it to the police.

So, so it looked real, like, oh, maybe he's like seen gore, like, real crime scenes and bodies, so he knows what it looks like.

Yeah, that's kind of, I think that's what they said.

Holy shit.

Meanwhile, Luca Magnata has flown from Montreal to Paris, and when he arrives in Paris, he was wearing a wig and a Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

Super chill.

And then,

so basically, that was on the 26th.

It was when he flew to Paris.

Three days later, on the 29th, the residents of his apartment building start complaining of a foul smell.

Nope.

Never complain of a foul smell.

So the janitor then discovers a suitcase next to a mountain of garbage bags behind the building, and inside is the headless torso of a man.

Oh my God.

Now 6 p.m.

that same night, a package containing a human foot is received at the Conservative Party of Canada headquarters in Ottawa and it had been mailed from Montreal.

At 9 p.m., a package addressed to the Liberal Party headquarters in Ottawa was discovered by postal employees to contain a human hand.

What the fuck?

So after taking statements and finding evidence in the trash, including a blunt blunt instrument and papers identifying Luca Magnata,

the police enter his apartment.

Wait, so like he did this on purpose, like sent this shit like knowingly that it was his step, like going to lead to him on purpose?

Sounds like it.

No.

What do you mean?

Never mind.

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

It's just they pounded.

So police enter his apartment and it's actually a very dark studio apartment.

And then they find a bloody mattress and blood in the refrigerator and scrawled in red ink inside a closet are the words, if you don't like the reflection, don't look in the mirror.

I don't care.

Oh my God.

So an arrest warrant is issued for Luca Magnata.

So

the Interpol adds him to the wanted list and people

in uh he was in Paris and he was declared an international fugitive And uh, he's they start, you know, the cops start getting a ton of tips that he's at a bar, he's trying to crash a house party.

Um,

he actually took the bus to Berlin.

Uh, his name was all over the papers and all over television, and the French media nicknamed him the Butcher of Montreal,

and the German media nicknamed him the porno killer.

Um, so Butcher of Montreal is way cooler.

He, uh,

that's better.

So he gets to,

this is my favorite part.

He gets to, in Berlin, he gets to an internet cafe.

This is about a week after all that.

And the guy that's working there,

a man walks in wearing sunglasses and makeup and says, bonjour, internet.

And so the guy kind of notices him.

This episode is called Bonjour Internet.

Right?

And

so the guy working there

recognizes this man's face who walked in, but he can't place it.

And so he's looking at the guy.

So the guy goes over to a

computer and you know, rents it out.

And the guy from his workstation is looking down at the monitor that this guy is using.

And he noticed that this man, who is wearing sunglasses, is looking at article after article about the killer in Montreal.

Oh my God.

And so then he puts it together that it's him.

So can you imagine?

So basically, they go up and they're just like, you're that guy, right?

He goes, you caught me.

Oh, what in the fucking fuck?

Yeah.

So he basically got caught because he was Googling pictures of himself.

So

I feel like you just, there's nothing good that happens in internet cafes.

And

not anymore.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, something's wrong.

It's over now.

Yeah.

Maybe 1997, 98.

That was the last time.

Yeah.

Okay, so

then on June 5th, the package containing a right foot was delivered to St.

George's School.

Another package containing a right hand was sent to Falls Creek Elementary School in Vancouver.

Both schools opened as normal the following morning, and it was confirmed that both packages were sent

from Montreal.

But were they staggered?

Like, who was sending them then?

He was sending them all from Montreal.

But they were different places, so like Vancouver is further away.

So Magnata is arrested and then he's transferred to a Berlin prison hospital.

And a psychiatrist believes that he's in a psychotic state.

So

meanwhile, the police identify the torso victim as Lin Jun.

And he's a 33-year-old Chinese computer science student at Concordia University.

It's unclear how he met Luca Mangata.

At an internet cafe, I bet.

Well,

they say that Mangata had been posting men seeking men

in the men seeking men section of Craigslist under an alias.

And so basically they go back and check the video and they see Lynn Jun

had entered

Luca Magnata's apartment building and then like the next day is when they see the video where Luca Magnata is taking things out and putting them in the garbage can.

He just wanted to love and be loved and like got murdered.

That's so sad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So then he gets taken back to Canada on a military plane, and then they find Lin Jun's skull at the edge of a small lake in

Angrinon Park

after they get an anonymous tip.

So someone may have found it.

And so not only does Luca Magnata go to trial, obviously he's arrested and charged with murder,

but the police charged the website owner who posted

one lunatic, whatever the name of that video was, that guy got charged with corrupting morals, one lunatic, one ice pick.

Why?

And he ended up going because it was real.

But he didn't know it was real.

Well, but it's his like responsibility.

He probably, I think probably in watching it, like the lawyer did, you would know.

Yeah.

God.

So is it out there?

Can you like, I wonder if it's out there?

I have no idea.

Did you ever watch like,

what was that website?

It wasn't sick.com, but it was something like that.

Rotten.com?

Rotten.com.

Yeah.

Did you ever click through that?

Yeah.

That's troubling.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

But I've seen.

Yeah, go on.

So basically he just goes to court and he ends up, they give him a life sentence without the chance of parole for at least 25 years.

And

they try to say in the court case that he's basically, that he was crazy.

And it doesn't work.

And he gets basically the full extent.

And they added on all these other charges.

It was like first-degree murder, but then also committing an indignity to a human body, publishing obscene material, criminally harassing prime minister.

I mean, all that sending stuff to government stuff made it all, you know.

So did they say what he had like to how he killed the guy?

And then like, was the dismemberment after he was well?

It's all in the video.

So it looked like he stabbed him to death and then dismembered him.

Jesus Christ.

Can you imagine if you'd like watch that being like, this is fake?

And then like going going back and being like

No, you fucking watched a murder.

Well, that's why all that stuff is like why would you want that in your head?

It's so it's such a bummer and it's such bad vibes even if you're faking something like that like what the fuck are you doing?

Well, I'll look up like crime scene photos sometimes and then like I there's ones that are like clear they clearly can't be fake and I'd be like, nope, it's fake.

It's like I have to commit like commit to it being fake or else I'll lose my mind.

Yeah, it's not, I don't think it's good to have those pictures in your head.

Absolutely not.

No.

And it doesn't help you.

It's not like you can't imagine what it might be like.

Right, right.

He also, so anyway, 2015, Luca Magna, he tried to file an appeal for the convictions,

but it didn't, it didn't work.

And he actually withdrew the appeal himself.

So apparently someone, I don't know if, I don't know what happened, but.

I was like, cut it out.

He was like, you know what?

I'm going to drop this whole fame thing.

Maybe I'm going to to try to do something else.

Finally.

I'm just going to

get into Buddhism.

So that's the story.

Now I understand why everybody was so obsessed with it because it truly is insane and horrible and

beyond.

That's like

I'm going to listen to other people now because like I always thought that I always I never looked that one up.

Everyone does constantly want us to do that one.

And I always thought it was connected.

I got that one and that horrible couple kind of the Paul Bernardo case.

Yeah, I always kind of thought it was the same thing.

I was like, I don't need to know about this one.

So I didn't realize I have never heard any of that.

I know.

Me, I didn't know it was that like crazy detailed.

I didn't know he was like, the idea that you're sending body parts to the prime minister or to like grammar schools, all those things where, and then knowing his whole thing of wanting to be famous.

Like you're that needy that you would, like he didn't murder someone because he wanted to murder someone.

He murdered someone so he could put the video up up online and get

it.

It does seem like that.

Which is

so gross.

I mean, like, I guess it's it must be an element of most killers.

The thought that, like, everyone will know me or I'll have this power or they'll all become renowned or whatever.

But, like, most of those people do, like, um, like, uh, what are the killings called when, like, you're out in public and you kill a bunch of people?

Like, a mass murder?

Like, they do mass murders to do that, not what he did, which is, like, so personal and creepy.

And then it's almost like forcing other people to watch it.

Well, and also it's, it almost seems like just this lame modern version where it's just like, oh, I'll put it on YouTube.

You know what I mean?

I'll put my super gross,

you know,

serious mental problem on YouTube and get a bunch of hits.

And like force other people to have to deal with that, having seen that for the rest of their lives.

Yeah, but I mean, that's the thing.

If you're looking, you're going to find it.

Like you have to remember if you're, if you're on a horrible gore site, then that's that's what you might look at.

And then you're going to have that in your head.

Like, don't do it.

As someone who

like can't sleep at night, it's so easy to just kind of like click on this thing and click on the next thing.

And then suddenly you find yourself at this like place.

And then suddenly you see some shit you don't want to see, but you can't look away.

It's like, not like you're like fucking typing in like, man murders another man.

It's like you just.

Like I've seen some shit that I didn't realize I didn't want to see until I saw it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And it's hard to get out of your head, but

who are you to like?

Other people are looking at it because they want to see it.

It's fucked up.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

That was crazy.

We finally did that one.

Finally.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

Okay.

Wow.

Karen, we're back.

Yeah, I know.

Any updates?

Yes, a couple.

So in 2018, Lucas Magnata's mother co-authored the book, My Son the Killer, and in it, he spoke out publicly for the first time since his conviction, saying that he regretted his defense strategy.

The quote is, it's very annoying.

I never wanted anything to do with the NCR, which means not criminally responsible, which is Canada's version of the insanity defense, or an approximation.

I have no mental illness whatsoever.

I had to go with it, even though I didn't want to, but my lawyers pressured me into it.

End quote.

So just kind of a real sociopath, psychopathic move of I'm here to argue about how people see me

being defined as whether or not I'm criminally responsible.

I am criminally responsible.

And someone else did me dirty, and that's why.

That's why, period.

Yes.

Scapegoating, blaming, and still, yeah, that's the one comment he makes.

According to CTV, Magnata is currently imprisoned at the Medium Security La Macaza institution.

He'll be eligible for what they call day parole in 2034 and full parole in 2037.

Yikes.

And of course, we all know that a year after that in 2019, Netflix released the legendary docuseries Don't Fuck With Cats, which was all the cyber sleuths who basically banded banded together to find luca magnata after he started posting videos of himself killing kittens online did you watch it i was yes warned not to watch it i have never watched it here's a thing i recommend it because

it's essentially you get to meet these incredible personalities the people behind the term cyber sleuth you like to talk about it but actually you meet and hear from those people and there's one woman who is the best.

We've

avoided,

we can avoid the disturbing video parts, right?

Absolutely.

Okay.

Yeah.

Like I could fast forward.

Okay.

I just I've been too scared, obviously, but I, yeah, it's a fucking classic.

I need to watch it.

Yes, for sure.

And also just this story is the origin of the title of this episode because Magnata himself went into an internet cafe wearing sunglasses and makeup and said bonjour internet.

So that's that's who we're actually quoting here.

Let's change the name because we should quote someone else and not him.

There's plenty of other hilarious things we say in this episode.

We should not be, you know, these are the things we're only a year in.

We still haven't learned not to do things like quote the killer himself for the title of the episode.

I wonder if maybe we should also consider titles that come from the rewind part, this part of the episode for the title change.

You know what I mean?

That's for the rewatch when we start doing video episodes of the rewise.

It's going to go in forever into a circle of hell.

It's just going to be one of those, a video of a video of a video happening right now.

Yep.

Where it's like, oh my God.

Basically, you standing with a video camera in front of a mirror and then it goes off into a million spaceballs.

Come on.

It is.

It is.

Okay, so that was my story.

So we're going to go into what's essentially the wrap-up of this episode, the old wrap-up, where we are now doing good things of the week because we need to counterbalance our discussions of all of this difficulty with some good stuff.

So it's we realize that

it's slowly dawning on us.

Yeah.

I love mine because it's the beginning of Jacuzzi Cat.

Gus the Jacuzzi Cat.

I think we lived there like two or three years, and he ended up becoming one of my best friends.

We heard a lot about Gus the Jacuzzi Cat over the years.

Yep.

And this is his premiere.

Such a special cat.

Okay.

Well, you'll hear Georgia talk all about that.

Yes.

And everything else that we kind of in this wrap-up.

Can I tell you, I forgot about this.

I was, uh,

we moved in this new place this weekend.

And the first day we moved in, I was walking down this, like, the staircase, and this like girl with a really cute dog walked up.

And she was this like cool girl.

Like, not cool, you know, she was like someone I would have drinks with, like, cool girl.

And I could have sworn we walked by each other, she whispered, stay sexy.

I am serious, I think she whispered, stay sexy.

That's creepy, which is so creepy.

But I think I'm also, I think I'm also really paranoid.

No, I know I'm also really paranoid.

You're definitely really paranoid, but it sounded like she said something like that.

I mean, I guess you'll find out.

So I'm going to die.

Do you have a positive thing?

That's what I thought you were doing.

And then it turned into that.

I thought you were doing a positive thing when you spoke that story.

No, that's not positive.

That's not.

No, it's not.

I realize now.

It was like a twist a roo at the end.

My real positive thing.

So I'm in this new apartment,

a new apartment complex.

And

there's this thing that happened yesterday, and it puts two of my favorite words together as one.

And so my positive thing is jacuzzi cat.

Uh-huh.

There's a fucking giant black cat.

And we've been sitting around with the jacuzzi.

This fucking giant black cat strolls over to the side of the jacuzzi.

And I thought I was in fucking narnia.

Like, let me pet him with my wet hand.

Like, I just was petting him.

And then he had a collar on.

I looked at the collar.

His name was fucking Gus.

While you're sitting in.

In, I got in the jacuzzi and was about to cry because how happy I am that I get to be in a jacuzzi.

Like, this is my dream.

I can't believe this.

And then this cat just fucking saunters on up named Gus.

Like, that's a fucking fake.

And he was like, I think he was an alien.

Like, he was kind of like

watching the perimeter, but like letting me, like, only me, pet him with like wet hand, like a wet hand.

That's hilarious.

It was like, it was a dream.

It was amazing.

That's good news.

Yeah.

About your future jacuzzi experiences.

Jacuzzi cat.

What if it's a different one next time?

Annabelle comes up.

She's all white.

Oh my God.

With one green eye and one blue eye.

Dude.

Steven and I were just talking about how there's a fucking cat at the fucking cat shelter.

Who's white with one green eye and one fucking blue eye?

Whoa.

Named Cappuccino?

No.

Yes, but it's still a white cat with a blue eye and a green eye.

Fucking Matrix, man.

I don't care what my therapist says about detachment fucking issues.

Yeah.

This is the Matrix.

Yo, yeah.

You got to tap in.

You just got to tap in.

What's yours?

Let, well, I guess I would say

it was going to see The Golden Girls Live,

which I had to go.

I went and did Jamie Lee's podcast.

So I was downtown.

It was kind of far away.

And I bought this ticket.

And when I went to buy the ticket for Golden Girls Live, you usually can roll up and buy as many tickets as you want.

It's like it's one of those scrolly things.

And I could only roll up to one.

So I was like, oh, whatever.

I'll just, if I can only have one, I'll have one.

So I bought that ticket.

So it turns out I bought the last ticket.

The guy told me because he was like, you're not on this list.

And he like checked it a ton of times.

And then he went on to the website to get their list.

And then he goes, he watched one girl's name disappear and my name took her place.

And he goes, she literally bought the last ticket.

I'm like,

well, yes.

So I had to sit in a chair in the aisle.

He goes, here,

you can sit right here.

And so, like, everyone else is kind of, you know, how it is in that room.

It's like raised up.

And I was like someone's weird handicapped grandma where I was just in a chair in the aisle.

Like, I'll fire it here.

Yeah, exactly.

So the show starts, the lights go down, and they put up the opening screen of the Golden Girls.

And then the theme song starts, and everybody starts singing

the theme song.

No, everyone starts singing the theme song together.

And it was,

everyone was like like laughing and smiling.

It was like a very beautiful, like bonding moment in this weird way where it was just really nice.

And it was, you know, it's like 80 people or something.

Please bring me next time.

I would love to go.

Yeah, we should totally go.

It would be so fun.

But it was just like a lovely, first of all, I like a group sing.

It's always very like cathartic.

But then everyone knows every word to the theme song to the Golden Girls.

And like some people really belting it out.

And that brings you back to like a moment in time.

Like you used to, you know,

stayed at home.

I was a kid, and I watched that with my family.

You know, that's funny.

Friday night.

That's what you did.

It was, that was, that's what was going on with everybody with that whole thing.

It was really lovely.

They have a mug.

I follow Jackie Beat on Instagram.

Oh, I bought one of those mugs.

Does it say thank you for being a cunt?

It's all those guys dressed up as the Golden Girls.

Thank you for being a cunt.

It's genius.

Like, I can't even handle how fucking amazing that is.

Yeah.

It's super good.

So, you know,

that's a great moment.

So what a great capper.

All right.

That was a nice little ending for the old episode.

And now here in the rewind episode, we're going to obviously retitle it Bonjour Internet's Gotta Go.

That's right.

So this is such a weird word to see written, but we could call it We Have to Reconnoiter.

What a weird word.

Yeah.

I think it's an army style word.

You know what I mean?

Makes sense.

Reconnoitering.

It's like we have to figure this out again.

Sure.

Also, there's Greg Kinnear pops to mind when we're talking about the Ted Bundy conversation.

Because he really does.

He does.

And then what do we said?

Cut half of that out.

And it was 45 minutes of an intro.

Oh, my God.

And Georgia gave a really good direction to Steven in terms of editing.

Just cut half of it out.

I think it's true.

Half of it is shit.

Just fucking do it.

But I think the real title needs to be Jacuzzi Cat.

Yeah.

Right?

What a good boy, Gus.

Yeah.

Well, we're not going to say goodbye because it turns out the old us way back when and Elvis and his new podloft say it for us.

So here's the end of the episode, y'all.

That's our episode.

Thanks for listening.

You know, Twitter, Facebook, places, merch, Instagram, feelings.

Here we go.

Buy tickets if you're in a city where it is not sold out.

We'd love to see you check what those cities are on the Facebook

page

and

stay sexy.

And don't get murdered.

Elvis?

Want cookie?

You want cookie?

Okay, bye.

Bye.