389: Korean folklore: Star-crossed

Quick disclaimer, there's some stronger than usual violence this week.

Please check out the post on mythpodcast.com for more info.

This week, on Myths and Legends, it's a story from Korea about love and how to respond if your future baby visits you in your dreams to tell you she's been relentlessly trolling that couple down by the river who's been overdoing it with the PDA.

The creature this time is that hairy naked stranger by the river who just wants you to join them forever.

this is myths and legends episode 389 star-crossed

this is the podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know but with surprising origins others are stories that might be new to you but are definitely worth a listen.

Today, it's a story from Korea.

There's no specific names or dates, but it's a time when Korea was ruled by a king, or several, and there was a lot of unrest.

We'll jump in with two 10-year-olds.

One is away at school, the other's on a trip visiting her grandmother, and both of their lives are about to change forever.

I'm thirsty.

Give me oranges.

Is a bull pickup line, But Pong Nu was just 10 years old.

Unha was walking along with her nanny, going to visit her grandmother.

She was speechless.

Like Pong Nu, this was the first time she was feeling these particular feelings and um

hi.

It does say that the 10-year-old Pong Nu was spitten by the girl.

and that he was looking for an end to strike up a conversation, and it apparently worked.

She handed over two of the oranges.

The boy held out his fan with both hands, saying, if she would allow him, he would like to give her this fan in return, and he would write both of their names on it, because he could write wink.

She didn't say that one of the strengths, and actually kind of the point, of Hangul, the Korean alphabetical system, was that a regular person could learn it pretty easily.

So that wasn't such a big flex.

Anyway, she didn't say that because she was 10 and his attempts to get her name were working.

Their lives were utterly changed from that day forward.

Mainly because, on that day, at that instant, actually, Pong Nu betrothed himself to her.

No girl was ever possessed of such incomparable graces as the beautiful Unha.

I, Pong Nu, now betroth myself to her, and vow never to marry other so long as I live, he said, as he wrote on the fan.

He waved it around a bit to make sure it dried, and then he handed it to Unha.

The nanny chuckled.

Oh,

that was

cute.

Okay, well, they should be leaving

right now.

Bye, strange child.

Despite the grand plans and gestures, they were 10 years old.

It had about as much effect as a 10-year-old today saying that they were going to marry someone.

Despite knowing her name, he didn't find her, maybe because he was, once again, 10.

Maybe because he spent all of his time in school doing in three years what others did in 10.

And by 13, he was lecturing his professors.

They decided that he was smarter than them, yep, totally, and he could be finished with school forever now.

Definitely not because they wanted the know-it-all teen out of their class.

So he went home.

His parents, well, his dad had a job with the government, and he retired.

He and his mother had one goal in life.

Since the moment they both accomplished all of their other goals, they wanted to have a child.

You'd think that this will put an unhealthy amount of focus and expectation on that child.

And you'd be right.

To them, he wasn't just a child, but all of their hopes about legacy and fears about their future distilled into human form.

Culturally, it was important too.

Since neither of them had any siblings, they worried about being able to face their ancestors in paradise, not having left anyone to bow before their graves.

The wife begged him to remarry, take another wife who might be able to bear children, but he refused.

Faithfulness to her and the gods was not taking the easy way out.

They would see this through together.

They did, and they had Pong Nu.

And you lost the fan?

The dad shrieked.

Pong Nu said he didn't lose it.

He gave it to his betrothed.

The father paced, that fan was auspicious.

It was a talisman by which evil would be warded off, and he gave it away to a girl?

He knew his mom's dream, right?

Oh my gosh, dad, dad, I know about the dream.

Pong Nu sighed.

Tell him about the dream, honey, the dad said, ignoring Pong Nu.

When we were praying for you, I had a dream.

A little cute naked star baby came down from heaven on a fan made out of white feathers from the North Star in the sky.

Tell him what he said, honey.

Tell him, the husband interrupted.

I'm getting to it.

You wanted me to tell the story?

I'm telling the story, the wife said, and then turned back to Pong Nu.

He said, I'm an attendant of the great North Star, and because of a mistake, he banished me to Earth for a term of years, telling me to come down to you and bring this fan, which will eventually be the means of saving your life and my own.

Fans, the father shook his head.

Pong Nu insisted that it didn't actually matter, though.

Even though the dad was mad, it was just a fan, not even the fan from the dream, which could also have been just a dream.

A few days later, the dad straight up forgot about it, too.

And the years continued on while Pong Nu prepared for his exams at at home.

He managed to sidestep some offers of marriage at 15 years old and ended up taking the exam to become a civil servant.

That was really the end game to everything, working in the service of the king.

I didn't know this, but there was a very real benefit to Pong Nu's family.

Pong Nu earned a place in the government, and his dad came out of retirement to become a governor.

just for having a very smart son.

Pong Nu, though, was approached by someone unexpected.

He said Pong Nu was obviously intelligent.

He scored better than anyone else in the exams this year.

As such, he could have his pick of jobs.

This man, though, would give Pong Nu a choice.

A job in some far-flung province where he would have money, power, and influence, or yes, yes, that one, the first one, Pong Nu said.

The man in the Hanbok that looked like a trench coat said, um,

Pong Nu didn't even wait for the second one.

It doesn't matter.

Money, power, influence.

That's why I've been studying literally my entire life.

The first one, Pong Nu smiled.

Yes, but you could have all that.

Yes, I want all that, Pong Nu reiterated.

Or, no or.

I want the first one.

Pong Nu is being...

Very clear about this.

Or you could do something with your life that matters, that uses your ability and makes a difference.

The official managed to shout in one breath and not be cut off.

Pong Nu sighed.

I feel like you're not gonna let me choose the first one until I at least hear your offer for the second one.

So go ahead.

The deal was this: Pong Nu would seek out corruption in whatever form it took.

The officials taking bribes, the administrators living large off the backs of their people, and those that commit usury.

Pong Nu cocked his head.

Hmm.

And to do this, he would presumably have access to all the king's records.

Mm-hmm.

And he could travel between regions?

It was basically a requirement, yes.

Sold, Pong Nu said.

He wasn't so flatly selfish that he just wanted money for money's sake in option one, so it was nice that he would also be able to help his fellow person as an agent of the state.

But most of all, he would have access to intelligence.

He would be able to find her.

It had been almost a decade since he saw her, but in that time she left an indelible mark on him.

He turned down other offers of marriage, even more since his exams, because to him there was only her.

And now he would be able to find her.

Oh man.

Mr.

Cho fist pumped.

Got it.

Got what?

Mrs.

Cho asked.

Cho said, oh, a suitor for Unha.

Their daughter.

Mrs.

Cho lit up.

Really?

For real?

Oh, yeah.

You know that general for the emperor?

That famously cruel and vicious one?

He stopped by earlier.

He wanted to set his son up with Unha.

And what did you say?

The wife

I said, oh, I have to think about it and run it by my wife and get my daughter's consent.

What do you think?

I said, I said, absolutely.

Where do I sign?

Just then, an explosion of tears from the back room.

Oh, come on, not this again.

You're getting married.

You're not going to ruin this one, Cho shouted, and then held his stomach.

Oh, oh, no.

Oh, no.

He felt it coming on.

Don't you mess with your father's health again.

I hate it when he gets like this and I'm blaming you, the mother said, rushing to the father as he collapsed, slowly on the floor so as to not hurt himself.

Around the time of Unha's conception, Mr.

Cho was having some health problems.

As in, according to the story, he was in ill health, induced by his constant brooding over his bad fortune.

You know, his terrible fortune of being a rich man from a well-connected family who had a flourishing career.

His ill health came from the same place as Pong Nu's parents' disappointment.

He, too, was the last of his line.

Well, just like Pong Nu's parents, Mrs.

Cho had a dream where the four winds bore a young girl in a beautiful litter, on which she reclined in a chair made of jade and gold.

The wife watched the procession draw near and asked, who are you, my beautiful child?

The girl laughed, saying she was glad the woman thought her beautiful.

Could she come stay with the woman?

She had been an attendant of the queen of heaven, but she had been very very bad.

So she will be banished to the earth for a season.

Oh, well, sure.

Wait, why was she banished, though?

It wasn't anything murdery, right?

The baby shook her head.

Oh, no, absolutely not.

You see, Ching Yu and Kyono, well, they were fellow attendants of the sun, and they fell in love, and the baby stopped talking and said the woman didn't have to raise her hand.

If she wanted to say something, she could just say something.

Mrs.

Cho said that this was a dream, right?

Well, couldn't she just show Mrs.

Cho the story?

That felt a little more interesting than telling.

It was like the number one rule of writing a story.

Oh, yeah, actually, that's a great idea, the baby said, and started the story.

Love is beautiful.

It can give meaning to life and help deal with the drudgery of your work and an overbearing boss.

The problem, though, is that when you spend all day with the one you love and not at that job with that overbearing boss, and your spouse has the same job and the same boss, and they also don't go to that job because, once again, love, that can be a problem.

Oh, you're finally back.

Cool.

The son said because the son was never cool about things.

He was the son.

Okay, you guys work in different departments here.

You can stop that, the sun said as Ching Yu and Kyuno arrived for work, shuffling in while embracing.

They seemed to ignore the sun as, not stopping their embrace, they scraped their desks together so they could sit hugging all day, moving all their items so they were all within range of wrist movements.

It was very tiring for all involved.

By the way, the story tells us that they were always in each other's embrace.

I know that's probably not literal, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun with it.

By eon number three, the sun...

well, the sun had enough.

These people were exhausting.

Barging in and blowing up, he said that was it.

They were being relocated.

Kino looked up.

Oh,

where were they going?

The sun smiled.

It does seem a little vindictive that the sun would send one of them to the farthest edge of the eastern heavens and the other to the opposite side of the great river that divides the heavenly plains.

They could journey to see each other, but even for heavenly beings, that took an entire six months to make the walk and another six months to return.

Since the attendants had to be back at their post for the annual inspection, it meant that, with the journey and the apparent one day of work they needed to do each year, the lovers could only see each other for one night.

The only way they could cross to be in each other's arms was to walk on the backs of crows.

who saw them and took pity.

After that one night, they had to leave and head back to ensure they were there at the annual inspection.

The whole way they wept, which, if you're somewhat familiar with the rainy season in the Korean Peninsula, the first leg of their trip home was in late June, early July, which explains the rain.

Additionally, all the crows were losing their feathers, not because it was the time of year that crows generally molt, but because they were nice to the lovers for letting them walk across to see one another.

Wow.

And you are that girl, Mrs.

Cho said, shaking her head, smiling mournfully at the baby.

What?

No, ew, the baby, the one descending from heaven, replied.

No, she wasn't the woman in that story because she wasn't a cry baby.

Crybaby, the mother didn't understand.

Weren't the pair in love?

Love, psh, who needs it?

Besides, they still come out on top and she are time together, the baby pointed out.

Okay, square that particular circle for me, the mother said, challenging the baby.

The baby said, see, it was like this.

If you meet the love of your life at, say 20, right?

Everything works out and you get married and live on the outside 80 years on this earth.

So that's what?

22,000 days together if you spend every day together and live exactly that long.

But the two lovers in the sky, they were whining because they were envious of the humans.

But they themselves don't understand immortality.

Humans don't get eternity.

In 22,000 years, they have surpassed the time together that humans get to spend, and their clocks just keep on running forever.

They didn't appreciate what they had.

The baby crossed her arms and sat back.

Okay, so setting aside the quality of the time and the heartbreak of having to leave the one you love after one day each year, why are you telling me all of this in a dream?

Why were you banished?

Mrs.

Cho wanted to get this back on track.

Oh, I was annoyed with them and scared away the crows, the baby said.

They couldn't see each other, they didn't cry, and there was a massive drought.

I was sent down here to learn something about something.

I don't know.

If I knew it, I wouldn't need to learn it, right?

So can I join your family?

Do I have a choice?

misses Cho asked.

Not particularly, but I thought you'd be excited about it.

The baby smiled.

misses Cho, for all the back and forth, was excited, and she soon became pregnant.

You are getting married, the father, writhing on the ground and gripping his abdomen, shouted to the daughter, sixteen years after the embedded narratives we just told.

Unha ran off to her room, and her parents made to follow to have that yelling match again with their teenage daughter, but she returned.

She was holding the fan.

I have a confession to make, Unha said.

The father took a deep breath because no good conversation in the history of words has ever begun with, I have a confession to make, especially when it comes to children.

She told them about her heaven-sent husband.

and read them the fan, the one she had looked at and read over and over for the past six years.

Quote, no girl was ever possessed of such incomparable graces as the beautiful Un Ha.

I, Pong Nu, now betroth myself to her, and vow to never marry another as long as I live.

So there, she said.

She was already betrothed by a ten-year-old, who didn't even talk to me.

That's not legally binding.

That's not even a thing, the dad said.

Honey, pack me up here.

Mrs.

Cho, though, could only smile.

Her girl, her little cynical heaven-sent baby who was cast down for menacing crows, was in love.

Seeing that she had an inn with mom, Unha said yes.

Yes, she was.

She loved him and she wouldn't marry the general's son.

In her mind, she was already married to Pong Nu.

A woman couldn't have two husbands, though a man could have two wives.

She wouldn't marry another and Should she never find him on earth, death would liberate her to find his spirit in the skies.

Her mother said she was sorry.

It was her father's decision to make.

He would decide her love and happiness, and if she went against the obvious will of heaven.

The father groaned, really?

That's how they were going to play this?

They knew they'd have to move, right?

The general's anger would be so great at being turned down, he would absolutely ruin the father in the capital with the king.

All for this child foolishness.

If this, what is he, what, 16 years old?

Now, if this 16-year-old was so awesome, he'd already be married.

And if not, well, I mean, do you really want to be paired with a 16-year-old who's not married yet?

Eek.

I don't care.

He pledged himself to me and he's coming for me.

I know it.

Ten-year-olds always have a clear and well-reasoned conception of the future, and he definitely remembers this.

Unha would not be moved.

Kill me if you must, but spare me marrying this man.

I beg and entreat, Unha said, and then went back to her bed and writhed and cried until her mat was, quote, saturated with tears.

Mr.

Cho groaned, Well, this was fun.

Mrs.

Cho looked at him.

He knew what he had to do, right?

Yeah, Mr.

Cho said, and returned the message to the general.

We'll see how this famously murdery man takes the news of someone politely refusing his request, but that will be right after this.

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Mr.

General?

General General.

The general corrected his subordinate.

By the way, he's not named, so that's what we're going to be calling him.

Sorry, yes, General.

Um, that man?

That courtier with a beautiful daughter?

He said no.

The man swallowed hard.

No?

What did that mean?

The soldier said, no?

Anyo, it was a determiner or a negative answer to no, I know what no means.

I just used it in a sentence.

But where did this nobody courtier think that he could get away with saying no?

Well, the law, probably.

He was super polite because he heard how great you were at killing stuff and people.

The soldier trailed off as several more soldiers swarmed in.

Arrest Mr.

Cho, the general demanded.

They

looked at each other.

Um,

they were here for a different thing.

One of the provinces bordering Seoul, the capital, was in open rebellion.

He was recalled immediately, so the kingdom didn't fall.

The general groaned.

Really?

He just wanted to arrest this courtier.

Torture him a little bit?

Could they do that for him?

They said, yeah, but it really wouldn't look good.

It was a bad look.

It would look like he was in league with the rebels, probably.

The general groaned.

He never got what he wanted.

All right.

Send a message to the local judge to have him arrest the Cho family for later torture.

Ugh.

Don't let the king say he never did anything for him.

Well,

that is super illegal, and I'm not doing that, the judge said, when he read the order later on that day, and after talking with Mr.

Cho.

Mr.

Cho breathed.

Whew.

I don't know why you're so relaxed.

You need to go, the magistrate said, like yesterday.

Either he helps put down the coup and he's coming back, or the rebellion is successful, and we're looking at a warlord situation here, either of which are not great for you.

Take what you can and go.

Now.

So that's what the Cho's did.

They got their cart and their horse and piled their most precious possessions into the back, driving off into the night.

Mr.

and Mrs.

Cho, to their credit, did not blame their daughter.

They loved her and yeah, they didn't want her to marry into the family of a man who would torture them for refusing him.

Unha looked at the graves.

Her tears welled hot behind her eyes.

They were gone.

She thought her father's stomach thing was

just him being dramatic, for as often as he rolled around on the floor seemingly in pain, whether it be in response to her refusing to marry the son of a murderous general or her not picking up her clothes.

She didn't know that it was real, that, but the stress of running for their lives and then trying to scratch out a living in the provinces, that it would take him.

She didn't know that her mother loved him so much that, after he was gone and she fell into a deep despair,

that she would follow so quickly after her husband to go be with their ancestors.

Now it was only her.

Cheer up, dear, her old nursemaid said.

Unha looked over.

Um

hi?

She

It had been a while.

She hadn't seen the older woman since she was a child.

About ten.

Turned out she had been hired back three months ago by Unha's father, before his illness took him.

No disrespect or anything, but you're fired?

Unha said, rising from the graveside.

Um,

you can't fire me, dear, the nursemaid smiled.

Mr.

Cho saw, she gestured to the graves, all of this coming and paid her in advance.

How far in advance?

Unha asked.

The answer was, it seemed, at least long enough for Unha's children to graduate.

What if I run away from you?

Unha asked.

The nursemaid smiled.

She cut her teeth watching toddlers in a world without babygates.

Unha would find running from her quite difficult.

Unha's eyes swept the vacant graveyard and then looked at the large rocks down by her feet.

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

The nursemaid narrowed her eyes.

But since a regular older woman following her around seemed preferable to a vengeful ghost auntie, she resigned herself to her traveling companion.

And yes, traveling.

They had long since lost the ability to pay for their house, I guess all of it going to the nursemaid.

And when the local men got a look at the new peasant woman in town, they had a lot of visitors.

When they learned that her parents were gone, well, that would present many more proposals, or worse,

she needed to leave.

I actually have a solution for that.

The nursemaid held up some cloth.

Pants.

And yeah, the solution was pants.

And a shirt.

And a cap that she would never wear because it was a men's cap.

And oh.

Unha understood.

They were going to dress like men so they could travel the road safely without being harassed.

And the story tells us how, in multiple places with a pair of pants and braiding their long hair like a man would, both of them were able to pass relatively safely in most areas.

As they traveled, seeking a man they didn't know, they would ask around about Peng Nu, showing people the fan.

This was a bad idea.

Where did you get that fan?

Beautiful, beautiful young man.

The lithe young man and his old uncle were tossed before the local governor.

What fan?

Unha sneered.

The the fan my guy saw you with?

The governor pointed to his messenger, who nodded.

Yeah, he saw it.

Well, I don't have it.

Yes, you do, the servant called out.

Unha asked them to prove it?

Oh, they they couldn't?

Well, that sounds like a them problem.

The governor shook his head.

It certainly wasn't.

He told his guards to throw these two men in the dungeon until they produced the fan.

We don't have a fan, Unha grumbled in as low and as loud a voice as she could.

But you do have a fan, that fan you're always looking at from that boy?

the auntie whispered in prison.

Unha said that it was all she had of her husband.

She would die before she gave it up.

Oh

okay, the auntie said, and then turned.

You know he's not your husband, right?

You met him once when you were ten, and you know his name, she said, but then immediately dropped it.

She knew where this conversation went.

Turns out that even in the medieval world, you can't hold someone in prison for fan possession.

And so, a few weeks later, when the governor had to leave on a trip to see his brother, he ordered Unha's release.

He called it a banishment in order to feel a little bit better, but his attempt to frame it as a punishment was undercut by his servants giving the pair a care package, so the governor sighed.

His brother was gonna be so mad when he heard about this.

Hey, we spotted your fan, the governor said one afternoon, sitting with his brother as Pong Nu stopped by.

What?

Pong Nu was floored.

Yeah, but I think it was a false positive, the governor shrugged.

Telling his guards to arrest everyone with fans was kind of leading to them abusing their power.

I feel like we've done enough here.

Can we just let that go?

You lost it, what?

10 years ago?

I didn't lose it.

I gave it to my wife, Pong Nu said.

The 10-year-old girl he met at school while she was on vacation, the father laughed.

Pong Nu's face filled his uncle's vision, though.

He needed to know everything.

That was her.

The young scholar said, reeling.

She was in his uncle's dungeon.

She was right there.

That wasn't...

the uncle paused.

You know what?

Yeah, that man was suspiciously beautiful.

I think you're right.

And now she's gone, Pong Nu slumped over.

Well, I mean, not really, but soon, maybe,

the uncle grimaced.

He had let her go towards Seoul.

Why?

Why would you let her go toward a civil war?

Pong Nu rose.

The uncle said, Well, when he let her leave, he thought it was a he and that he was guilty of fan withholding.

It sounded better at the time.

It didn't, but Pong Nu fell to weeping.

She was going to die and he'd never see her again.

His wife.

Oh my gosh.

His father rose seriously.

Pong Nu said he knew his father didn't take this marriage seriously, but his father cut him off.

The old man sighed.

He was long past the point of trying to win that fight.

No, if it mattered to his son, it mattered to him.

But his son needed to do something.

Looking up, the son was confused.

The father explained that the son's whole life, since he was 10, he had allowed himself to be led by this singular desire.

But now that he knew where she was, he was just going to give up?

But she's walking into a civil war, Pong Nu said.

Then you go to war, the father replied.

The uncle sat up too.

Did they really want the son that they tutored and who did so well and had a great position in the government to enlist?

You know, the one that was so good at school that they all got governorships?

I want him to do something to live on purpose, to not just be pulled by every wave and wind, the father said.

The uncle remarked that that was something of a mixed metaphor, but you know what?

He agreed.

The father rose.

Go to her, go to Seoul, and either find her or find your honor.

You know there's a war going on, right?

The king said to Pong Nu.

I mean, you can.

Enlist, that is, but well, you're rich and well-connected and the child of a governor.

I mean, do I really need to say the quiet part out loud?

Pong Nu said he insisted on doing his duty to the king.

He would definitely take no for an answer, that's how respectful royalty worked, but he hoped the king wouldn't say that.

The king said, fine.

He appreciated the kid wanting to fight, sure.

He would fast-track him to officer.

Go report to your general.

Pong Nu bowed and rushed off to meet his commanding officer.

What did you say your name was?

General General said, looking over the paperwork.

And then he smiled.

Hm.

Pang Nu's reputation preceded him.

Pang Nu said yes, he did well on the exams that one year.

He was well known for that.

And that's definitely what I meant, General General said, as he finished drawing up the battle plan for Pong Nu's first mission.

It consisted of a stick figure getting stabbed by a bunch of enemy warriors when he was sent to the front.

He had X eyes and realistic blood and everything.

It was very well done.

All right, well, good talk.

You're leaving now, the general said.

Right

now?

Pong Nu's eyes widened.

Oh yeah, get marching.

Let's go.

General General waved his finger in the air.

He had something of a running list of guys he wanted for this mission.

If someone didn't quite bow low enough or used slightly too familiar honorifics with him or looked at him weird that one time he said bone apple tea, or he just didn't like the sound their mouths made when they ate.

They made the list.

He called out the names at the barracks and smiled as Pong Nhu rushed ahead of them.

Against the orders of their general, most of the company picked up weapons quickly and secretly on their way out of the base, because it turns out you kind of need those in war.

The general sent men along to watch over them, to deal with anyone who fell behind or tried to desert by killing them.

One night, Pong Nhu snuck away, not to desert, but to write.

He spent the few precious hours they had been given for sleep to leave something, essentially a billboard carved in stone, which is a great value for your money if you have the time and ability.

It said, Standing at the gate of war, I, you, Pong Nu, humbly bow to heaven's decree.

Is it victory or is it death?

Heaven alone knows the answer.

My only remaining desire is to behold the face of my lady, Choga.

At the end of the forest march, when the city gates opened on the ill-equipped, exhausted, emaciated men, Pong Nu remembered the reason why he was there.

His wife, the woman he loved.

He hadn't found her, but he had, hopefully, found his honor.

Surrounded by the enemy, Pong Nu fell.

We'll catch up with Unha on her quest, but that will, once again, be read after this.

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The old man cried out, which translates roughly to woman Cho.

What?

More like Cho Namja?

Unha laughed because she was a man.

You're on your way to the capital, to Seoul, because you heard that your future husband went there looking for you from a man that traveled with him.

The elderly man hobbled from his hut.

Ah, what?

I'm just a foot sore traveler going to Seoul on a completely unrelated thing, you know, just walking into a war zone, right, Uncle?

Unhappy.

Cho yoja!

No, we're not doing this, the auntie said, and turned to the elderly man.

Can they sit down, please?

They had been walking literally for years, and even though they were dressed like men, and that alleviated some of of the danger, there were still all of the other dangers.

You can't tell him we're women, Unha bawled her fists and stomped.

He already knows, the auntie yelled back as she entered the hut.

It is true, I already know, the man said, and followed the nanny.

Unha had no other choice but to follow her nanny inside.

Okay, I'll bite, Unha said, reaching out to take the bowl the man was holding.

How did you know all that?

Ask me no questions, the man said.

Unha could see that the man was an obvious mystic who had otherworldly knowledge, and her nanny was pretty well settled in.

Sure, she would listen.

She still held out her hands for the dinner, though.

The man, however, did not offer her food, but a pill.

Now pills sound modern to me, but really this was just kind of a tiny rolled up ball of something.

Superhuman strength and courage is what it's full of, the man said.

Unha, who, I guessed, had never been educated on not taking pills from strangers in the woods, probably because taking pills from strangers in the woods was not even on the radar for a daughter of an official, swallowed the pill in one go, didn't even have to rub it in slime to make it go down easier, as was the custom in some places.

It worked, in that she didn't really care about the food.

Unha walked to one of the walls, laid down, and sleep took her immediately.

Unha woke up feeling better rested than she had since, well, before her parents got sick.

She blinked awake to the sunlight coming through the trees.

Sunlight coming through the trees in the hut.

The hut that was no longer there.

Okay, that guy was obviously magic, right?

Unha said.

The nanny only shrugged.

Probably?

Who knows?

She just had the best night of sleep in her life, though, and it turned out it was on the forest floor, so she wasn't complaining.

They got back on the road and, giving a farmer a bit of money for some food, sat down by the roadside to eat when they heard someone shouting in the street.

Now, I've been to New York.

Someone shouting at you in the street or on the subway while you're just trying to go about your day, you don't engage.

Unless that person, like the stranger that gave you that pill that knocked you out in his hut after he promised you super strength, happens to know everything about you and where you're going.

Or where you're not going.

The man who was blind, walking along in the streets, shouted out that a woman was there, in disguise, seeing her husband who went off to fight the rebels searching for her.

that he had been captured and was now near death, but that she would save him.

Kind of hinting that she might be that woman in disguise, Unha's Rice tumbled tumbled to the ground as she ran off to see where the man had gone, shouting frantically after him.

But as annoyingly as he had appeared, he was gone.

Now, though, Unha knew her husband wasn't in Seoul, he was at the front, and that was exactly where she was going.

Standing at the gate of war, I, Yu Pong Nhu, humbly bow to heaven's decree.

Is it victory or is it death?

Heaven alone knows the answer.

My only remaining desire is to behold the face of my lady, Choga.

The auntie looked at the billboard and then

looked at Yun Ha.

Okay, it didn't make sense for Unha to be rolling around on the ground weeping after she read that.

Well, it kind of did.

He was basically submitting to heaven heaven whether he would live or die before he was captured by the enemy, but that man raving in the street said he was okay, right?

And if we can't trust people shouting at us from street corners, well, that.

Hmm.

The nanny kind of lost confidence in her reassurance as she was saying it.

Still, though, it could be worse.

They could have not heard that man raving in the street or taken that pill from the stranger.

Hmm.

Yeah, she thought about it.

All those things sounded kind of bad.

The pair went on to an inn to devise their strategy, and it was

just full of weeping.

Um, what's going on here?

The auntie asked the innkeeper, who sighed.

They were welcome to sit down wherever there wasn't an enslaved man crying.

Probably grab a towel for your seat, and watch your step because those floors are slick.

Why are there so many slaves crying?

Unha stepped forward.

Their master, some guy named Pong Nu, was captured by the rebels a few months back.

The innkeeper groaned.

Before her eyes widened, Unha had dropped to the floor, fainting.

Yeah, she's been doing that, the nanny said and scooped up her charge.

They learned two things when Unha regained consciousness.

Pong Nu was so beloved by the enslaved people he had working for him that they couldn't just sit at home.

When their master didn't return from the front, they all set out and followed his path, which led them there, to the edge edge of the king's territory.

Even more surprising than their presence, though, was what they told her, that they had talked with the people of the region who had spoken with the group of warriors beforehand.

Their attack was doomed, and they all knew it.

It was because of the general.

General, general.

Unha burned with rage.

The man who had killed her parents had sent her husband to die.

Still, not your husband, the nanny said, just wanting to remind everyone and maybe be a little more accurate about things, but Unha ignored her.

No, he wouldn't win.

She was fated to save her beloved.

But first,

she needed to see the king.

Okay, so am I looking for people to lead essentially doomed missions into rebel-held territory to take back bits of land?

Absolutely.

I love that idea.

But I feel like you might not be the right person for the job, the king said to Unha, who, for the first time in months, maybe years, wasn't wearing men's clothes.

She said she thought she understood why.

She shook her head.

She couldn't believe this.

What?

No, it's because you have no military experience.

No fighting ability, no training with weapons or leadership or logistics.

I could go on, but at this point I don't feel like I have to, the king said.

I can lift that rock, Unha pointed over her shoulder to the giant rock sitting in the courtyard.

The king blinked.

Wait, for real?

Unha nodded.

Oh yeah.

Two men of his could barely get that rock to budge.

You lift that rock and we'll talk.

As she walked to the courtyard, she said a prayer, a prayer for her parents, and a prayer that the pill that stranger had given her in the forest was the real deal, and not just a narratively disappointing the real superpower pill was belief in yourself thing.

But she need not worry.

Possibly surprising even herself, Unha gripped the sides of the rock and not only lifted it, but threw it clear over the wall.

Hopefully, avoiding collateral damage, you know, they were in the middle of Seoul.

Love conquers all, but it won't pay hospital bills.

The king was floored.

Wow.

All that stuff about inexperience was still true, but lifting a really big rock?

Clap.

Slow clap.

Wow.

General General stepped forward, incensed that Unha was embarrassing him again.

Him, the last person to lead the men to the front in that doomed mission that was really a doomed mission and not just an overly complicated execution.

Unha strode up, drew his sword, and began spinning.

What is she doing?

The king said, but the rest of the room was equal parts confused and entranced.

She began spinning until the sword was a, quote, fiery blur.

Then she got closer and closer to General General.

The man began to sweat as he could seemingly feel the wind start to come off the sword blade, and as soon as he dove back, shrieking, Unha stopped with a smile.

As many men as you want, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you.

That was fantastic, the king said.

The general screeched that it still didn't.

None of this made up for years of education and military experience.

And yeah, and how much has that helped you?

The king asked.

He nodded.

Mm-hmm.

Thought so.

Unha's eyes snapped open.

She was in a black and endless void.

Before her, in the darkness, there was groaning.

A man stepped out, emaciated, an arrow protruding from his neck.

He held his entrails in with a hand, and his cloudy, dead eyes looked at Unhan, equal parts accusing and pleading.

Cursed.

Cursed, he declared, maggots flying from his mouth with each word.

There was a chill in the air as the warrior,

what was left of him, walked closer.

They had been sent there to die.

Their general had withheld their rations and not prepared them, and, as a consequence, they had been massacred nearly to a man.

As such, they were the ones who called down the reins from the heavens in judgment against the king.

The royal forces wouldn't be able to march against the rebels until that general paid for what he did to them.

They required a sacrifice, not of his life, but his son's, so that the general might know true pain before.

I'm sorry, are you...

Are you sitting?

Is this...

Am I doing something wrong?

I have the dead eyes and the arrow and the guts.

The ghost stood up straight and looked around.

Oh, no, no, no.

You are awesome.

This is...

Super cursed and scary.

It's just...

I know.

I know about the everything.

We've been through this.

Well, not we.

This is the first time we've spoken.

It's been every night that you all are popping in our dreams.

The officers and me.

I get it.

I would be mad, too.

General General killed my parents and sent my betrothed to die, Unha said.

But it did kind of lose its creepiness factor about three weeks ago, give or take.

Oh, but you sent a messenger, though, the ghost man asked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just these things take time.

Middle Ages, Unha shrugged.

They were expected any day, and she did a bunch of cool dancing and lifted a rock, so the king liked her.

She thought that he would probably send along the sun.

Oh, cool dancing and lifting a rock.

That sounds amazing.

I would have loved to see that, the corpse man said.

Then a long pause followed.

But I can't.

I can't see anything.

Another pause.

Because I'm dead.

Yes, you're dead.

We're working on it, Unha said.

Could she please wake up now?

Her eyes opened in her tent, and she sat up.

Oh, these guys.

You know I didn't even want to marry you, the general's son said, as Unha led him to the edge of a cliff.

The sad thing was that she believed him.

The young man here might not have been the impetus behind his father's continued outrage, but he would sadly be the consequence of it.

Still, though, she felt for him.

They were all leaves blowing on the wind, drawn along by forces they could neither control nor understand.

Unfortunately, this was the day he fell.

It was not a good death.

In the pouring rain, Unha drew the knife across the throat of the young man given to them by the king to appease the fallen warriors, as the young man screamed and fought, two of her officers holding him down.

His blood mingled with the rain, but before it reached the bottom of the cliff, the downpour slowed.

When his body was drained, the clouds were no longer dark gray, but white, fading to blue.

When the feast for the fallen was set out as an offering, the sun was shining for the first time in weeks.

The rebel readout fell quickly.

Turns out, when led by a competent leader who wasn't trying to actively murder their own troops, battles got a lot better.

And as she rushed through the fort, hair unbraided, hat off, and in her own clothes, she looked for him.

Cho Unha.

Saw Yu Pang Nu for the first time in 15 years.

After that one day they met each other when they were both 10 years old.

She didn't even recognize him, but she knew him.

She flew to him and embraced Pang Nu, her tears making paths in the dirt and grime packed on his face and shoulders.

After nearly two decades, where they thought of almost nothing else, the two were reunited.

Unha rummaged into the pack at her side and brought something out for the bewildered Pong Nu.

She held out his fan.

From that day forward, the two were never apart.

They were married and General General was executed.

His family arrested, wealth confiscated, and legacy destroyed.

Fun times.

Like I said, Unha and Pong Nhu were married.

And while he became a governor, she became a legend, with stories and ballads told about her.

She was right, in the end.

They had sixty years together, never forgetting the difficulty they were willing to go through for each other.

But it still wasn't enough.

The young servant that had interrupted the meeting of the lovers on that fateful night long ago learned just how terrible what she did was, and she learned her lesson.

After she died, she, too, would set out and look for Pong Nu, himself a heavenly being, returned from his exile on earth.

But most importantly of all, she wouldn't ever mess with or menace crows again.

This one was another long one, but I liked it.

It was something like a Korean Mulan, where the Mulan character, instead of drilling relentlessly with her dad, got a super soldier serum from some guy in the woods.

No, but I think there's a good lesson here to cherish the time we have with people because, unless you're crossing a crowbridge once a year to be with your spouse, we all have limited time on this earth.

If you'd like to support the show, there's still a membership thing on the site and on Apple Podcasts with ad-free and bonus episodes.

If you'd like to connect with us in the community, we're on Discord, you can join at myths.link/slash discord, and you can find us on Instagram at Mythsandlegends.

The creature this time is Vumert from Finland.

Now, little known fact

by me, up until today.

Anyway, Finland has a lot of lakes.

And the ignorance is really just mine because Finland has the nickname Land of a Thousand Lakes, which even just a cursory look at Wikipedia or whatever Google is doing with AI nowadays will tell you that they're underselling it by at least 187,887 lakes.

Because that's how many lakes there are in Finland over 500 square meters.

And that is...

a lot of naked men.

Or the same naked man a lot of times.

It's somewhat unclear.

Regardless, it's unwelcome.

And that's not even me being judgy.

Whatever your thoughts are on casual nudity, the Vumert is one of those bad water creatures.

So, basically a water creature.

Vumert, which sounds like a convenience store chain someone lazily misspelled and even more lazily didn't correct, translates to water man, which sounds like a utility worker who gained superpowers.

The Vumert is neither of those things, though he is a lot of other things.

He's, well, he's whatever you want him to be.

He can be a beautiful naked man combing his hair on the lakeside or a beautiful woman.

Sometimes he's a fish.

To dogs, he's, I don't know, an unattended sandwich.

Regardless, you don't want to follow because yes, you'll drown and die.

That's par for the course for water creatures, but you'll also have to work for the Vumert.

You see, that's how they enslave people to work for them and add to their numbers, by pulling people down into the lakes.

I imagine that with so many lakes to fill, everyone is eventually free to go start their own lake.

And it's sort of like a hazing thing where, since it was done to them, they get to do it to someone else and enslave people and add to their numbers and the cycle just continues.

All that to say, whether you see a naked man, woman, or sandwich on the lake shore, you should absolutely avoid it.

Unless you want to work your way up to running your own cursed lake someday, then absolutely dive right in.

That's it for this time.

Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser.

Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Combs.

There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes.

Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.